C03 - Ep. 12 - Mission Through Middrus - Win-Wind Deal

Summary

Tales from the Stinky Dragon: Episode 12 - "Mission Through Middrus - Win-Wind Deal"

Introduction

In Episode 12 of "Tales from the Stinky Dragon," titled "Mission Through Middrus - Win-Wind Deal," host Stinky Dragon and his trio of friends embark on another whimsical and perilous Dungeons & Dragons adventure. This episode seamlessly blends comedy with captivating storytelling, immersing listeners in the richly crafted world of Middrus, a land teeming with exotic creatures and enigmatic challenges.

Setting the Scene

The adventure unfolds deep within the subterranean mines of Middrus, where our heroes find themselves navigating through dimly lit corridors adorned with mysterious murals and ancient symbols. The atmosphere is thick with the scent of mineral deposits and the eerie sounds of distant mining activities, setting the stage for the group's quest to uncover hidden secrets and confront looming threats.

Encounter with Preacher Reggie

Early in their journey, the party encounters Preacher Reggie, a demigod devoted to purification through the extraction and refinement of silver. Reggie introduces himself with fervor, emphasizing the sanctity of their mission:

Preacher Reggie [20:39]: "We must purify through pure thoughts and pure actions. And lots of scrubbing."

Despite Reggie's noble intentions, his esoteric explanations leave the adventurers seeking clarity about their true purpose. The dialogue highlights the group's skepticism and determination to pursue their quest unimpeded.

The Spatula of Searing

As the party delves deeper, they discover a significant artifact known as the Spatula of Searing, depicted in one of the mine's intricate murals. This magical tool, designed to heat metals until they glow red hot, is found broken—a piece missing that hints at a larger mystery surrounding its purpose and origin. The players grapple with how to repair or utilize the spatula, showcasing their resourcefulness and camaraderie.

Confrontation with the Baron

The tension escalates when the adventurers encounter the Baron, a formidable orc-like fiend engaged in interrogating an NPC named Private Parts. The group's attempt to disrupt the Baron's interrogation leads to an intense combat sequence:

Tove [03:05]: "Have you ever considered naming yourself Vistago Rosala?"

The unexpected violent turn contrasts sharply with the group's earlier lighthearted banter, emphasizing the duality of their journey—balancing humor with high-stakes encounters.

During the battle, Natty Wonder ingeniously employs her warlock abilities to hex the Baron, imposing disadvantages on her strength checks:

Natty Wonder [78:40]: "I hex you and I'm gonna put disadvantage on."
[MM:SS 78:40]

Simultaneously, Tove unleashes a strategic assault, culminating in a decisive blow that incapacitates the Baron. This victory not only demonstrates the party's tactical prowess but also sets the stage for unraveling the mystery of the Pathfinder.

Character Dynamics and Development

Throughout the episode, the interplay between characters like Gunther, Private Parts, Doug Boone, and Tove highlights their unique personalities and strengths. Leadership dynamics come to the fore as Tove steps up to guide the group through adversity, balancing assertiveness with empathy:

Tove [37:09]: "I'm here for you, Natty. But if you want, I will take the leadership."
[MM:SS 37:09]

Their interactions are punctuated with humor and heartfelt moments, reinforcing the bond that underpins their collective quest.

Cliffhanger and Future Prospects

The episode concludes with the party successfully restraining the Baron, who cryptically alludes to future revelations about the Pathfinder:

Baron [75:43]: "Find out next week on the next episode of Chance Evil."
[MM:SS 75:43]

This tantalizing cliffhanger leaves listeners eager for the next installment, anticipating further adventures and deeper explorations into Middrus' enigmatic lore.

Notable Quotes

• Preacher Reggie [20:39]: "We must purify through pure thoughts and pure actions. And lots of scrubbing."
• Natty Wonder [78:40]: "I hex you and I'm gonna put disadvantage on."
• Baron [75:43]: "Find out next week on the next episode of Chance Evil."

Conclusion

"Mission Through Middrus - Win-Wind Deal" exemplifies the charm and creativity of "Tales from the Stinky Dragon." With its blend of humor, strategic gameplay, and engaging narratives, this episode offers a delightful experience for both seasoned D&D enthusiasts and newcomers alike. As the adventurers continue their quest, listeners are sure to be entertained and enthralled by the unfolding saga in the vibrant world crafted by Stinky Dragon and his talented cast.

Transcript

[Tove]

Wow.

[Natty Wonder]

What's up?

[Doug Boone]

I just bought and financed a car through Carvana in minutes.

[Baron]

You the person who agonized four weeks.

[Natty Wonder]

Over whether to paint your wall's eggshell.

[Doug Boone]

Or off white, bought and financed a car in minutes. They made it easy. Transparent terms, customizable down and monthly. Didn't even have to do any paperwork.

[Natty Wonder]

Wow.

[Baron]

Mm. Hey, have you checked out that spreadsheet.

[Doug Boone]

I sent you for our dinner?

[Baron]

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[Natty Wonder]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with a message for everyone Paying Big Wireless Way too much.

[Baron]

Please, for the love of everything good.

[Natty Wonder]

In this world, stop with Mint. You can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying. No judgments. But that's weird. Okay, one judgment anyway. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment.

[Baron]

Of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate first three months only, then full price.

[Natty Wonder]

Plan options available, taxes and fees extra.

[Baron]

See mintmobile.com.

[Tove]

Afternoon all you oblex spawns, squelch your slime into the stinky dragon and absorb our latest aquatic intake mile in their sho. It's a mixture of blech tea leaves and h goo, sugary seepage, icy ichor and a pseudopod of sliced lemon. One engulfing of this potable personality and you'll feel like yourself if you were someone else. Previously, our adventurers bestowed a brief olive branch to the residents of Raisin before bolting below. After the Baron B team broke up into buddies and Bear crawled into a musty mine with a concealing curtain. After uncovering a mysterious mariner mural, the deep pocketed privates penetrated the portal wall while the poorer party members stayed put. They bartered with a breezy demigod and offered silver for safe passage and gusty guidance. But will their path be a breeze? Or will they need to catch their second wind, nab some nectar, and nestle in for a noxious narrative?

[Doug Boone]

Couldn't help it.

[Natty Wonder]

I just love Barbara Dunkleman. Just her little.

[Tove]

Before we get to the arrow, can I throw you an arrow? Oh, whoa.

[Doug Boone]

What is happening?

[Tove]

Have you ever considered naming yourself Vistago Rosala? Just like mixing the letters up.

[Baron]

No, no, never, never have gain Bibson.

[Natty Wonder]

For a minute there, Blaine, I thought you had something like very like deep and interesting to throw it important at gas. But you're just like jumbling up the letters of his name and asking about.

[Tove]

Bustago, Garolla or Rosala. Since 3am I woke up last night and I was like, bustago.

[Natty Wonder]

Why?

[Baron]

Anyways, I once told Kerry Shawcross that his alternate name was Sherry Cockroach.

[Gunther]

Oh, I remember that.

[Doug Boone]

Follow up question. Who would in this group would have the coolest name if you reverse the first and last letters of the first and last name?

[Baron]

Ron Jason.

[Doug Boone]

Singer Ron Diesinger is pretty cool.

[Baron]

That's pretty good. Darbar Bunkelman.

[Natty Wonder]

You.

[Tove]

I hate that disc.

[Natty Wonder]

Is so.

[Tove]

That's a Star wars name.

[Gunther]

It's very.

[Natty Wonder]

It's very Star Wars. Is that just how you make your Star wars name? It's like you just have to swap the two letters.

[Baron]

Glenn Bibson is also very much a Star wars name.

[Doug Boone]

Bibson is.

[Natty Wonder]

We just crack like George Lucas's entire like, format.

[Gunther]

Oh, crap.

[Doug Boone]

Maybe they broke the cold Suscarola.

[Natty Wonder]

Wait, was that George Lucas? Yeah.

[Baron]

How did you get into our discord? Get him out of here.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, I love that. Like, we are. I don't know why, but our impressions person is Chris Damaris.

[Gunther]

That is like not good at him.

[Natty Wonder]

No, I'm not saying good at him. I just said impressions person doesn't. That wasn't a comment on the quality of them. Shout out to honey Heist.

[Doug Boone]

Maybe on a second win for this week, we could see who has the best impression.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay.

[Doug Boone]

You could do a little show and tell.

[Natty Wonder]

That would be fun. I like that. Barbara.

[Baron]

I feel like if. If we're gonna do that, you should record the impression ahead of time while no one's watching.

[Natty Wonder]

No, no. Live. Live.

[Baron]

No. And then play it back during the episode.

[Tove]

Oh, maybe it's anonymous. We can't tell who's impersonating.

[Baron]

Yeah, we'll never know.

[Doug Boone]

I would bet my life savings I could tell each of you doing what?

[Natty Wonder]

If. If anybody wants a treat, you need to go and listen to the Christmas episode of Stinky Pop with Chris in it because we got a little sampling of his McGruber from Die Hard. I had forgotten about Hans Gruber.

[Gunther]

Wait, Hans Gruber. Hans Gruber. Hans Gruber from Die hard.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, sorry, MacGruber is what's his face? His character from.

[Baron]

I watched Chris start trying to take his stinky dragon hoodie off while wearing his headphones. And I know that's a mistake because I cannot take that hoodie off while I'm wearing my glasses, which are much more flushed on my face. So let's all pause for a moment. Chris can take off his headphones and then take off his stinky dragon hoodie while he's that guy.

[Doug Boone]

I'll just mention, too, that Stinky Pop, like John mentioned, and Second Wind are both. Chris, we see your nipple.

[Natty Wonder]

This is not a video podcast.

[Baron]

I think what you were going to say was very important.

[Natty Wonder]

I was trying to plug my amazing movie podcast.

[Tove]

Thanks for the show.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Private Parts]

Well, as John mentioned before, Stinky Pop.

[Doug Boone]

And also second one, which I mentioned are available to our wonderful Patreon members, which you could be a part of@stinky dragonpod.com also on Beacon. If you want to join that platform as well, you get Second wind.

[Baron]

In addition, in addition to ad free episodes app, free versions of our campaign episodes.

[Doug Boone]

Absolutely.

[Baron]

Which are available on both beacon and sneaky dragonpod.com.

[Natty Wonder]

Seven minutes into recording, we haven't done the error question.

[Baron]

I'm gonna hit our four players with an arrow. My name is Gustavo. I'm the dungeon master.

[Natty Wonder]

No Vago.

[Baron]

Gustavo Garola.

[Natty Wonder]

Dungeon dancer. No. Mungein Dancer man.

[Baron]

Because that's. That's funny. Because scared in Spanish is a sustado. That sounds like. Anyway, I'm gonna hit our four players with an arrow. Do you prefer comfy, practical, or stylish clothing? And what is your favorite piece of clothing you own? And that was sent in by z.

[Natty Wonder]

Tommy rolled a 2. Finally.

[Private Parts]

12 a D20 coming in right now.

[Tove]

Olga, this isn't your campaign girl.

[Doug Boone]

I couldn't help it. Three for Doug.

[Gunther]

19.

[Baron]

All right, Chris, you want to lead? Or I should say Gunther. You want to lead us off?

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah.

[Gunther]

So I'm Chris Demaris, and I'm playing Gunther the male fighter and croak folk. Croak folk.

[Doug Boone]

You just said I was like. What changed?

[Gunther]

My favorite. My favorite is I like not clothing at all. That's when I was. When I was just a tadpole. It was so much fun. I always swim around and be naked, and I like that.

[Tove]

Is that comfy, practical, or stylish? Or all three?

[Gunther]

It was all three at the time.

[Baron]

Wow, you're stylish.

[Gunther]

Yes.

[Private Parts]

When you were a tadpole, did you ever have tad talks?

[Gunther]

You know, all the time. Every time. My father would come to me, he said, it's time for a dad talk.

[Baron]

He wasn't very big. He wasn't a full pole. He was just a tadpole.

[Natty Wonder]

Hey, I'm torn. I hate these. I think Natty would like these. So I don't know how to play.

[Gunther]

This in character as now. I. I prefer clothing that is more practical. That is, has function and fighting ability. And my favorite.

[Baron]

Gunther, do you own any stylish clothing?

[Gunther]

Well, I don't know what that. No. Unless you think so.

[Doug Boone]

No.

[Baron]

So you don't think so. It's just all.

[Gunther]

I don't know. I have no opinion.

[Tove]

Hey, you know that three piece suit in Saturday Night Fever?

[Gunther]

Yes.

[Tove]

Guther has one of those.

[Doug Boone]

I need fan art of that immediately.

[Gunther]

But my favorite article of clothing is this. Here. It's a handkerchief.

[Doug Boone]

Aw.

[Gunther]

And my wife made it for me.

[Tove]

God, I forgot he was married.

[Doug Boone]

You got a wife?

[Private Parts]

You got a wife?

[Baron]

Yeah. Remember, he abandoned them.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh.

[Private Parts]

What? I guess I blocked that out of my memory because it was so sad.

[Gunther]

I tried to not think often of it.

[Natty Wonder]

Now, to be clear. Gunther, wait. Do you have kids? I can't remember a lot of kids.

[Doug Boone]

Right.

[Tove]

He doesn't want to think about them.

[Natty Wonder]

Right. Right. Well, this is. This is what we're doing. We're all. We're all being vulnerable. That's what this arrow time is for.

[Gunther]

No, I told you, I prefer practical clothing. That is protective right.

[Natty Wonder]

There. They're still like your wife. She's still alive, right?

[Gunther]

I pray that she is.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay, last time you saw her.

[Gunther]

Yes.

[Natty Wonder]

Kicking and screaming. Right?

[Gunther]

She was not kicking or screaming.

[Natty Wonder]

I ran into that. I just offered that up to you. And I knew it. Okay, what's her name?

[Gunther]

Punya.

[Baron]

Bunya.

[Gunther]

Punya.

[Baron]

Punya.

[Natty Wonder]

Punya.

[Tove]

Punya. Punya.

[Gunther]

Punya.

[Tove]

Miyazaki film.

[Baron]

That's Pineo. Very close.

[Natty Wonder]

Which had aquatic creatures, amphibious creatures.

[Baron]

All right, well, thanks for sharing. Gunther.

[Natty Wonder]

One more question for our croak folk. This is just a simple one since we're getting some. Some sharing from you.

[Gunther]

Yes.

[Natty Wonder]

I'm not gonna ask for all of them, but maybe I'm gonna ask for one every once in a while. What's the name of one of your kids?

[Doug Boone]

He has so many he can't remember.

[Gunther]

Tonka. Tonka.

[Natty Wonder]

Do they like trucks?

[Doug Boone]

I was thinking the same thing.

[Gunther]

I know.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay.

[Baron]

Okay.

[Natty Wonder]

Tonka.

[Baron]

Okay, maybe.

[Private Parts]

Maybe he's got another kid named Chuck. I mean, he's got so. That I love.

[Baron]

This is big fortress.

[Private Parts]

You have one named Lightning.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay, thank. Hey, Gunther, thank you for sharing. I really like learning stuff about you.

[Gunther]

Thank you. I like learning too. Especially about you.

[Baron]

All right, who's next? Who had the next highest role? We had gunther with a 1908. There you are.

[Private Parts]

He was standing right behind me. I didn't even see him.

[Tove]

Scared you?

[Natty Wonder]

You know, if I could be greeted the way that Tove just greeted our. Our arrow questioner, every time someone meets me, I'd. I'd be delighted. He was so excited to talk to you.

[Tove]

Very excited.

[Baron]

I was a little startled.

[Tove]

I love talking fashion. So when it comes to style and function and what was the other thing? Comfy. Yeah, that was it.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah.

[Tove]

So I, I like a combination of all three not to just, you know, be super broad about it. And I think that the perfect piece of clothing that has all three of those is my beard.

[Baron]

Yeah, but that's not clothing told.

[Tove]

Oh, but I mean, wait, I mean, is it detachable? No, no. This is my beard. It's attached to me. But, you know, it's. It's comfy in the cold weather.

[Private Parts]

Function.

[Tove]

It's, you know, practical. It's functional, stylish. You know, I could put flowers inside of it if I still want, you.

[Private Parts]

Know, very, very similar to clothing. You wear it very well.

[Tove]

Well, thank you. Yeah, but I mean, like, I could. I could like take it off if I wanted to. And then I'm just a completely different person, but much colder.

[Natty Wonder]

And he walks up to Tolv to like touch his. Like his, like clothing invest to see if the beard just is extensioned into all that. Like everything. Like it's all actually just one piece braided into it.

[Tove]

So that's my answer.

[Doug Boone]

Did you introduce yourself?

[Tove]

Oh, my goodness. I am told you who I am. A male orc barbarian. And I'm played by Glenn Gibson. I hate that introduction. It's awful.

[Doug Boone]

Do you want to do a retake?

[Tove]

Don't stick to it.

[Natty Wonder]

One take.

[Tove]

Blaine.

[Baron]

Yeah, I think Tolv, since you're. I'm gonna break the fourth wall a little bit with you here to your. Your beard is your favorite article of clothing. I think we're gonna need to sell that on the stinky dragon [e-mail] available now.

[Tove]

Go check the store.

[Natty Wonder]

No, it's not available now.

[Tove]

Available tomorrow. John Racing's promise limit drop only 500.

[Doug Boone]

Don't worry, I'll make it in the store. It'll be designed by me.

[Natty Wonder]

I'll put it in the store. It's immediately sold out is what I'm going to do.

[Tove]

Here's the thing we can do that. Cuz I, I, I, I know that you can do that. On, on our hosting platform we should absolutely put the beard up and just.

[Doug Boone]

Be like a fake product.

[Tove]

Yeah.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, you mean as like a, as a sold out item.

[Tove]

Yeah. Okay, go check. Hey, hey.

[Natty Wonder]

Follow through.

[Tove]

See if we do this.

[Natty Wonder]

John remembered to do this.

[Baron]

Yeah.

[Tove]

Go to store stinky dragonpod.com.

[Baron]

That'S the stinky dragon challenge.

[Tove]

So anyway, that's me.

[Baron]

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Tolf. Who was after, I think Natty was Natty next.

[Private Parts]

I guess it's me. Apparently 3 is higher than a 2 in case you guys didn't know. So you know. Well, hello everyone. My name is Doug Boon. I'm a bugbear artificer. Level three to be exact, which is also higher than two.

[Doug Boone]

And I'm played by Barbara Dunkelman.

[Private Parts]

And you know, I tend to skew a little bit more towards comfortable clothing. You know, Doug's a big guy and so, you know, I like to wear things that I could move around easily and I got a lot of fur as well and so it's nice to have. Gus loves the way I say fur.

[Baron]

Apparently I love it. It's the seasons of broccoli.

[Private Parts]

And you know, so I like to have things I can move around in pretty easily. But my favorite piece of clothing is actually my vest that I wear. And that's because, you know, if you guys ever take a close look, it's half teal and half maroon. And the maroon actually comes from my brother Phil. So it was actually a piece of his clothing that I combined with a piece of my clothing to make this vest. And so it's really special to me. His favorite color was maroon and so I just wanted a piece of him with me at all times.

[Baron]

Very sentimental.

[Tove]

Yeah, it's very sweet.

[Natty Wonder]

Doug liking comfort clothes is spoken like a true big boy.

[Doug Boone]

Also a very part of the course of me, Barbara.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, yeah.

[Doug Boone]

Ever since the pandemic, I have not gotten out of sweatpants and sweatshirts.

[Natty Wonder]

We call those hard clothes in this house and we don't wear hard clothes very much.

[Doug Boone]

We wear soft clothes only we wear soft clothes. Yes, absolutely. And so does Doug.

[Natty Wonder]

As a big boy myself, I wear soft clothes.

[Tove]

It is fun going to weddings and seeing Barbara in sweatsuits.

[Doug Boone]

You know, that's actually what I'm going to wear to my wedding.

[Gunther]

A beautiful, beautiful handmade Swiss.

[Doug Boone]

Just a diamond encrusted white sweatsuit.

[Baron]

I've never seen a hoodie with a veil before.

[Doug Boone]

My veil is just a hoodie on my head, hanging off of it.

[Natty Wonder]

I feel like that's not a bad idea.

[Doug Boone]

I know, I know. I'm considering.

[Baron]

Thank you, Doug. Or as your Star wars name is, Bug Dune.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, that's so cool. Too funny.

[Baron]

All right, Natty, you're up.

[Natty Wonder]

I'm up. Hi. Hi, y'all. I'm John Risinger, and I play Natty Wonder, who is a drow warlock. And I'm as happy as a clam to be talking about fashion. I don't think it's a surprise to anybody that I love styles. I love clothes. I love looking good all the time. And so, you know, I obviously, I'm very much like. Like tove a little bit where I like a Neapolitan of all three of those choices. But, y'all, I think if I had to make hierarchy, it would be styles. Got to be at the top. I. You know, you gotta look good. You gotta look good because I look good for me, which then inevitably makes me look good for y'all. So it's a gift for everybody.

[Private Parts]

You represent us well, Natty.

[Baron]

Yeah, yeah. You're just thinking of everyone else.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah.

[Tove]

There's something about when we're like. Like on a military mission. Yeah. And then, like, you know, we have a person in bright pink. You know, it's like, super strategic.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, it is.

[Private Parts]

It is really distracting.

[Doug Boone]

It's true.

[Natty Wonder]

Don't. Don't forget to mention all the reflective rhinestones on my clothes as well. Those are very good.

[Gunther]

Yeah, I could not.

[Baron]

There's one option of camouflage. We try to blend into the background. There's another option. We just try to blind anyone potentially looking for you. And I think you might prefer that one.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah. And so if I had. It's. Oh, it's so hard to pick my favorite article of clothing. There's so many. But, you know, my mind immediately goes to one of my favorite things I've ever been given. They're actually a passed down piece of article clothing from my mama's. Is my boots. My boots. I love my boots. They're white. I take very good care of them. They're. They're actually quite practical and comfortable as well. They're. They're not just. Just for showing, although they show quite well. But, yeah, I'm. I. I don't go anywhere without my boots.

[Private Parts]

Boot scooting.

[Baron]

Are they made for walking?

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, walking, kicking, running, trotting.

[Tove]

Super good for plantar fasiitis, y'all. Yeah.

[Private Parts]

Do you have, like, insoles in there or something? Because we do it a lot of walking and exploring. And so I'm wondering how you don't get sore feet, Dr. Shoals.

[Natty Wonder]

I think it's just kind of. I'm so comfortable with myself. My feet are comfortable with whatever's going on. I think it's just kind of. It just. It just drips down all the way down through my body, my comfort.

[Tove]

And those heels, are those like. What are those three inches? How many. How high are those?

[Natty Wonder]

You know, that's a good question. I haven't. I haven't measured them. I have to have Doug do that. He's so. He's so practical.

[Private Parts]

Absolutely. Only with your permission, though, you know, if you're going to measure something or touch someone or the belongings, you got permission.

[Natty Wonder]

I appreciate that. I appreciate that.

[Baron]

Yeah.

[Natty Wonder]

So that's my answer.

[Baron]

Thanks. Good. Good round, everyone.

[Doug Boone]

My head cannon is natty. Has, like, size 5ft. Like, they're just tiny, little, like, Barbie feet.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, that's. That's like my girl's. My girlfriend's size of feet. She's got tiny feet.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah.

[Baron]

Before we dive into this from a metagame perspective, Blaine, if you don't have one, give yourself an inspiration die. Just so the audience knows, we tried to record this earlier today, and D and D Beyond was down, so we had to reschedule, and we were all keeping an eye on it, and Blaine was the first one to notice when it came back up.

[Tove]

So, Gustago, remember this moment. This dice will be used so very.

[Doug Boone]

Well, you don't even know it was not.

[Baron]

Just wait.

[Tove]

This is foreshadowing for the best use of a inspiration die.

[Doug Boone]

It'll be like Tolv wants to do a jump out of excitement. And then he fails.

[Baron]

As Gunther wafts in. You all see this, but he doesn't because his eyes are closed.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, no.

[Baron]

Gunther walks firmly into the backside of an orc who's standing very upright with good posture, who's wearing clerical vestments that seem to be made of some kind of maybe rat skin.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, the size. I'm sorry. The size of this means that Gunther went into his butt. I'm just.

[Baron]

I said backside, but, yeah, that's essentially it.

[Natty Wonder]

Face into derriere.

[Tove]

He's just like. He's taking deep breaths with the wind.

[Gunther]

That's the source of the wind.

[Baron]

He turns around when Gunther bumps into him and you see him wearing a glowing silver ring. And he looks very intensely at the four of you and says, have you.

[Preacher Reggie]

Come to help purify this world?

[Gunther]

Yes. Are you not?

[Preacher Reggie]

Oh, excellent. I'm here to Spread the word of purification and recruit people to help make the world pure and clean once again.

[Tove]

Is your name Brita? Just curious.

[Preacher Reggie]

Oh, no, no, no, no. You can call me Preacher Reggie.

[Baron]

He reaches out a big hand. Well, I guess it's about the same size as yours. You're both orcs. And grasps your hand told. And begins shaking it very enthusiastically.

[Gunther]

Hi. How do you purify? What is your method?

[Preacher Reggie]

We must purify through pure thoughts and pure actions. And lots of scrubbing.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, are we talking. Natty pokes her head. Are we, like, scrubbing? Are we talking about, like, with suds and water and a loofah? Or is there, like.

[Preacher Reggie]

Is it symbolic scrubbing, like smelting silver? You know, purifying and refining out the impurities and just taking the pure part.

[Private Parts]

There's a lot of silver theme in this place, huh?

[Preacher Reggie]

Yeah, silver's pretty great.

[Tove]

Preacher Eggy, are you, like, a demigod or you just like a dude?

[Preacher Reggie]

Oh, I wish. I can only aspire to such heights. I am but a mortal servant in this world of higher powers.

[Tove]

Oh, cool.

[Natty Wonder]

Which higher power do you like to serve?

[Baron]

Pure box. I'm kidding. I made that up. I'm retaking it.

[Natty Wonder]

I was about to ask for rolling on insight on that bs.

[Preacher Reggie]

I serve the Wind Trader.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, we just. Yeah, we just met him.

[Tove]

Good news.

[Gunther]

You can meet your hero who led us here.

[Preacher Reggie]

Oh, yes. He has been a boon to us and our work here.

[Private Parts]

A boon.

[Tove]

We know one of those.

[Private Parts]

Are you my family?

[Natty Wonder]

That's what happens when you shave a bugbear look like orcs.

[Preacher Reggie]

He's been very helpful.

[Gunther]

What are you smelting? I'm. I'm. I'm skilled with blacksmithing.

[Preacher Reggie]

Oh, we are smelting silver. I'm sure you've seen it all on the walls of this mine.

[Tove]

So you're taking the silver from the mine, and then are you making, like, currency or, like, something else out of it?

[Preacher Reggie]

Well, we make whatever we need. You see, all of the silver in this mine belongs to the Wind trader. And we are his vessel to help gather it and do what needs to be done through purification.

[Private Parts]

What does he give you in exchange? Exchange for the silver that you give him.

[Preacher Reggie]

Favorable winds, of course.

[Private Parts]

Oh. Favorable wins. Okay.

[Gunther]

Ah. That is what we have, too.

[Baron]

Oh.

[Preacher Reggie]

You have been blessed by the Wind Trader.

[Gunther]

We have?

[Private Parts]

Yes.

[Tove]

Fortunately, we were not cursed by broken wind, if you know what I mean.

[Private Parts]

Yeah, our friend Tokyo definitely has cursed.

[Doug Boone]

Winds a lot of the time.

[Private Parts]

But, yeah, that's. That's actually what led us Healing is these winds.

[Preacher Reggie]

Perhaps the wind trader deemed it necessary for our paths to cross.

[Gunther]

Have you crossed paths with any others on this, Dave? Those maybe who are carrying another.

[Preacher Reggie]

Well, we are hard at work here with our silver mining and purification.

[Baron]

I'll tell you what everyone. Make me a just a perception check. Tell me what those numbers are.

[Tove]

Okie dokie.

[Natty Wonder]

Is it nat 20.

[Gunther]

Take 30.

[Natty Wonder]

22.

[Tove]

Critical fail.

[Doug Boone]

I also had a critical fail but have a plus five. So it's a six.

[Gunther]

I must still have my eyes closed because I roll three.

[Baron]

Yeah. So three of you. Not great rolls. You all see this? Natty, your role is definitely better. But you know this room is dimly lit by flickering lamps and it's got that same dusty air and shiny cave walls. And besides preacher Reggie, you see there's several grilp that seem to be walking around the room mining on the walls and the ceiling. And in this room there's three exits. One to the north, one to the east and one to the west. You all came in the one from the west.

[Tove]

And the Grilps aren't alarmed by our presence. They're not turning to fight us or anything.

[Baron]

They seem to be ignoring you. They're very focused on their mining efforts.

[Tove]

Are they part of. Are they Undarian or are they just kind of a bystander that are have been drawn into the fight? Would I know that was. Would tove know that?

[Baron]

Yeah, they're. They are undarian.

[Doug Boone]

They're mining on the wall and the ceiling you said, right?

[Baron]

Yeah.

[Tove]

Stay that hand, Natty.

[Natty Wonder]

Why. Why are you looking at me, Toad?

[Tove]

I'm just saying. I'm just saying, you know there's a lot of bad guys around. I know. Here you are.

[Doug Boone]

It does made me look around the room and see like what else there might be. Like is there anything else like they're putting the silver into or any other supplies or anything like that in here?

[Baron]

Seems like they're just kind of for lack of a better term extracting it from the walls and the ceiling would.

[Doug Boone]

Be like a pickaxe or mining that way.

[Baron]

Yeah. And there's like a bin on the eastern side of the room near the door to the east that they seem to be collecting all the ore into.

[Gunther]

So we are looking for someone who is dirtying the world. They are not purifying. They. They ran off after baking a big dirty mess.

[Preacher Reggie]

Oh no.

[Gunther]

Have you seen them? Private parts. He was wearing a uniform. He was a nice looking fellow. With skin probably.

[Private Parts]

Probably very sweaty as well.

[Tove]

Sweaty?

[Gunther]

Sweaty with skin wet.

[Preacher Reggie]

He had wet with skin?

[Gunther]

Yes, and hair. And then the baron was a big hairy with big horns. And dirty. Not pure at all.

[Preacher Reggie]

No, I don't believe so. We've been hard at work mining and purifying here, so I can't say I'm familiar with what you are talking about.

[Doug Boone]

Can I do an insight check?

[Baron]

Sure. Revive check?

[Doug Boone]

Vibe check?

[Gunther]

Yeah, can do the same. Sure.

[Doug Boone]

22.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, what. What are you trying to get insight into?

[Doug Boone]

Specifically if like you could tell that they're maybe being untruthful or like trying to hide.

[Tove]

They are working side by side with grilps, which are undarians.

[Gunther]

Yeah, that's a 20 for me too.

[Doug Boone]

So yeah, 20 and 22 it looks like for me and Gunther.

[Baron]

Yeah, it doesn't seem like he's being deceitful about with that statement.

[Natty Wonder]

Hey, Reggie, you keep talking about this purification. I feel like you're dodging the specifics and literal sense of what it is. And I get, you know, when you're talking about your religious stuff, you can be very ethereal and esoteric. But like with the purification, are you just purifying silver or is your intention to purify individuals who are doing things like you discussed, having impure thoughts or impure actions?

[Preacher Reggie]

Well, it's all important in the end, is it not? We can purify one and then purify the other.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, you dodging that question again, you little. You slippery little eel. What you doing? Who you purifying? Who you. Who you purifying? What they doing?

[Doug Boone]

Pretty little eel.

[Preacher Reggie]

Purification is a benefit for everyone, right?

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah. You still not answering my question. I get it. I get you don't want to say it because it's uncomfortable. Okay?

[Preacher Reggie]

It sounds like you might need purification. Do you need to be purified, sir?

[Natty Wonder]

That is not something you say to a lady. Okay? That is not something you say you need to watch yourself from. Purify your mouth. Okay.

[Gunther]

With soap.

[Tove]

Can I pull Reggie to the side?

[Baron]

Sure.

[Tove]

Listen, Reggie, okay, You're not one to go. Want to go toe to toe here with Natty, okay? She's gonna get it out of you one way or another, okay? So let's just cooperate. We're all cool. We don't mean any harm. We're just curious.

[Gunther]

We are just pure. 4 individual is super pure.

[Tove]

The purest, fresh off the presses.

[Baron]

Make a persuasion check for me. And while you're doing that, Blaine, I'm going to remind you I read this in the previous episode, but I should read it as a reminder in this episode as well. I described Reggie as an orc with good posture. And he's wearing clerical vestments that seem to be made of rat skin. And he's wearing a glowing silver ring. And he was delivering a sermon when you all walked.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, I have that written.

[Baron]

Okay. What was that? Persuasion check.

[Tove]

1216.

[Preacher Reggie]

Perhaps you are right. I should acquiesce and learn when I need to be purified as well as deliver the purification.

[Natty Wonder]

Honesty is the purest policy. That's what I say.

[Private Parts]

Yeah. You know, sometimes you just gotta look in the mirror and really recognize, you know, the person that you are deep down.

[Natty Wonder]

So let's just stop mincing words. Who are we purifying? Because I want to know if I'm on board with you. Because I want to be on board with you. I like making. I just made a friend with your guide. He's over. He's over there behind that fake wall, and we just had a good old chat. He likes us.

[Gunther]

Yes.

[Preacher Reggie]

Ah, true, true. Oh, well, you see, and he kind.

[Baron]

Of like looks down at his shoes and then looks back up at you.

[Preacher Reggie]

Natty, I don't actually know what I'm talking about.

[Natty Wonder]

Ah, there it is. Doesn't that feel so good to say?

[Preacher Reggie]

Just sounds kind of good. Yeah, everyone seems to be going along with it, so.

[Tove]

Mood.

[Preacher Reggie]

It's. It's kind of working for me down here. Please don't ruin it.

[Tove]

We're not gonna blow up your spot. Reggie. I totally respect the game. Okay.

[Natty Wonder]

I found an NPC I like.

[Doug Boone]

We want to thank Rocket Money for supporting our show. I've been using Rocket Money for a little while now, and there are so many subscriptions that I had that I completely forgot. And it's been very helpful to identify those and cancel them, saving me a good chunk of change here and there. You sign up for something, forget about it after the trial period ends, and then you're charged month after month after month. The subscriptions are there, but you're not using them. In fact, I just learned that 85% of people have at least one paid subscription going unused each month. That could be you. And thanks to Rocket Money, I could see all of my subscriptions in one place and cancel the ones I'm not using anymore.

[Private Parts]

And now, as I mentioned, I'm saving money.

[Doug Boone]

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[Baron]

This episode of Tales from Stinky Dragon is brought to you by Better Help. Think for a moment about your favorite leaders, mentors, idols. They don't necessarily have all the answers, but they do know when to ask questions or seek support from the community. I feel like nowadays society really emphasizes hyper independence. It's easy to forget that all of us are better when we have a support system behind us. Therapy can be a source of support for any area of your life, and it's time to shift the focus from doing it all to knowing that we're better when we ask for help. Therapy can be helpful for learning positive coping skills, how to set boundaries, and it empowers you to be the best version of yourself. It isn't just for those who've experienced some kind of trauma. For example, if you're thinking of giving therapy a try, why not try BetterHelp? BetterHelp is fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient. Serving over 5 million people worldwide, you can access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties, and you can easily switch therapists at any time for no extra cost. Build your support system with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com Stinky Dragon Get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com Stinky Dragon this episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon is brought to you by Shopify. When you think about businesses that are selling through the roof, like Aloe or Allbirds or Skims, sure, think about a great product, cool brand, brilliant marketing. But an often overlooked secret is actually the business behind the business that makes selling and for shoppers, buying simple. And for millions of businesses, that business is Shopify. Nobody does selling better than Shopify. It's home of the number one checkout on the planet. And the not so secret secret was shop pay. That boosts conversions up to 50%, meaning way less carts going abandoned and way more sales going. So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web or in your store, in their feed, and everywhere in between. Businesses that sell more sell with Shopify. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout that all birds and skims use. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.comdragon that's all lowercase. Go to shopify.comdragon to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com dragon.

[Gunther]

I have a question. Can Gunther, I guess he still has his eyes closed to some extent. Does he feel the wind still pushing.

[Doug Boone]

Him or, like, see anything being blown in a certain direction?

[Tove]

Tolve is just blowing on the back of Gunther's neck.

[Baron]

Doug and Gunther, both of you make perception checks, I guess, to try to figure it out.

[Natty Wonder]

Does anybody else ever take. This might just mean be telling on myself. Does anybody else ever take videos of something when it's quiet and then you listen back to the video and all you can hear is your heavy breathing and you're like, is that how I sound?

[Baron]

I hate that. I hate that so much.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah, that happened a lot back at the old company we worked for where people would film like, A Day in the life videos. And the person filming you would just hear like, gotta stay away from the camera there, bud.

[Baron]

I filmed a video of my dog in the snow the other day, and then when I played it back, he was like, I'm not even doing anything. I'm just standing there.

[Natty Wonder]

I think that's just. I think we're old. I think that's what it is.

[Doug Boone]

I think it could be. I rolled another one, by the way, for a six.

[Gunther]

Well, I rolled the 20.

[Tove]

Ooh.

[Baron]

Doug, you feel like the wind is pushing you to the eastern exit. And Gunther, you feel like it's pushing you to the northern exit.

[Tove]

Oh, where's the VIN blowing? Oh, oh. Because someone failed.

[Private Parts]

You know, I think it's just because, you know, I got a lot of hail in full, specifically. And I think the wind. I don't. I can't really tell where it's coming from because all my foes just get getting blown all over the place. Gunther, do you have an idea where it's going?

[Gunther]

The wind is blowing to the north that way. And I point. Do you need help purifying anything in there?

[Natty Wonder]

Well, Reggie, do you know what. Where are these. These exits going to? And Natty points to the two that are remaining. Like, where do those go?

[Tove]

We are looking for the purest path. And then I give him a wink.

[Natty Wonder]

We can drop that. This guy is not about that. He's just that one queen have to.

[Tove]

Keep up the act because as Demi caught us in the other room, and then these crumps or whatever they are called or. Potato, potato.

[Natty Wonder]

Natty turns to Doug and goes, I think you and I are the only ones who got our eyes open, our ears open.

[Private Parts]

Well, I, I, I can't really tell where I'm going right now. Natty, I'll be honest.

[Baron]

Well, to answer, I think it was you. Natty, to answer your question, Reggie tells you.

[Preacher Reggie]

Well, to the north is more mining.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay.

[Preacher Reggie]

And to the east is a giant mural wall that continues down a passageway.

[Natty Wonder]

There's a lot of murals in this. This mine.

[Private Parts]

Well, now I'm curious about that.

[Natty Wonder]

I know.

[Tove]

I want to go check out the mural.

[Private Parts]

Should we maybe just peek in now and then keep going north?

[Natty Wonder]

I like art. I like art.

[Gunther]

You know, we are in a hurry because of. Because of Private parts.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, I forgot. We got a dude that's dying.

[Tove]

Wait, aren't you the leader?

[Natty Wonder]

Oh. Oh, you know what? Thank you, Tov. And with that, I release myself from the shackles of leadership, and I bestow them upon you, Tove.

[Tove]

Oh, thank you. You did not end your reign as leader under the best of circumstances.

[Natty Wonder]

What? You know what? We gotta have another talk. You've been so judgy lately. I don't know what's going on.

[Tove]

I'm just saying.

[Natty Wonder]

With the king of Polak madness and content care.

[Tove]

Hey, Jonah, hug it out. This is me coming to you, palms open. I'm vulnerable. I'm here for you. I don't want to be mean. I'm just saying, like, if this is going to reflect on your, you know, performance, the last time Private Parts will have seen you, you were a leader when you got abducted. So I'm looking out for you, Natty. But if you want, I will take the leadership.

[Natty Wonder]

You know, I want to give people the benefit of thought, but the doubt. But I. I still feel like you might be inadvertently lacing some of these words with a little bit of judginess that maybe we still need to work on that.

[Tove]

Okay, that is my bad. I do not mean that. I'm so sorry.

[Natty Wonder]

Cause I just want to point out I managed to get into there, meet a demigod, convince him to help us, and now we're on our way to find private parts. I just want to remind you of that, in case you forgot.

[Tove]

Natty, will you forgive me?

[Natty Wonder]

I will always forgive you. Forgiveness.

[Tove]

I'm so sorry.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay, let's hug. Let's hug.

[Tove]

Okay.

[Private Parts]

Hug, hug. Time is. Time is of the essence right now.

[Gunther]

Reggie, I apologize.

[Preacher Reggie]

This is important for the purification accomplished.

[Tove]

What's a hug? What's. What do we roll for hug?

[Gunther]

We shall all hug now.

[Tove]

Reggie, you want in on this hug?

[Baron]

Reggie comes in for a hug, too.

[Natty Wonder]

And Natty picks up Gigi and hands him them to. To and says he needs a kiss.

[Gunther]

Who can forget Reggie? So much of your beliefs are just in believing, not in knowing.

[Tove]

Wow.

[Gunther]

And that's okay.

[Preacher Reggie]

And that's true belief.

[Private Parts]

What does that mean anyways?

[Doug Boone]

Doug, just kiss everyone.

[Natty Wonder]

Daddy whispers to Doug. Nothing. Okay. It's okay.

[Tove]

Okay. So, really quick, I think we should hit the murals. Okay. A lot of good art around here. Reggie, do you happen to have any insight on who made all of this arts down here? We're seeing them all over the place. And it's just curious.

[Natty Wonder]

Did O and D do this?

[Baron]

O and D?

[Natty Wonder]

Sorry. Severance.

[Baron]

Severance References.

[Natty Wonder]

We've been talking severance and stinky pops. So it's all in my head.

[Preacher Reggie]

Well, of course. The Chaste Chain is responsible for all the murals here.

[Tove]

Chased chain?

[Baron]

Yes.

[Private Parts]

Who is the Chase Chain?

[Preacher Reggie]

It's a faction I'm a part of. We are operating here in this area, gathering lumber above and silver below.

[Private Parts]

Oh, so you. You made some of these mules?

[Preacher Reggie]

Well, not me specifically, but my companions are.

[Tove]

The grills. Chased Chain. Are they part of that crew?

[Preacher Reggie]

Yeah, they help us and they serve us.

[Private Parts]

What are the Mules like really depicting?

[Preacher Reggie]

It depends. That's up to the artist. You should really check them out for yourself. If you were impressed by the one by the wind trader, you'll really love the one to the east.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay, are y'all responsible for the font that was at the. Up on the ground floor that was dedicated to the wind trader?

[Preacher Reggie]

Yes, of course. So pure. So beautiful.

[Tove]

Yeah.

[Natty Wonder]

The wind trader or the font?

[Baron]

Both.

[Tove]

Pure. Yeah.

[Natty Wonder]

Well, hey, I got a question then. If you. If you know about that font. What was was in. What was in that? It wasn't water. What was it?

[Baron]

Are you gonna make me load another episode? Let me go back.

[Natty Wonder]

Because we just listened to the episode where we talked about. And I'm like, I want to know. This ain't gonna be another inkwell. I want answers.

[Baron]

Yeah.

[Preacher Reggie]

The font itself was filled with the essence of purity. Of course.

[Natty Wonder]

You're talking in symbolism again. I need some literal answers. I'm a very plain girl.

[Preacher Reggie]

Only the pure may enter the chambers below through the font.

[Private Parts]

Does that mean we're pure?

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, wait. Was it like the wall?

[Gunther]

Ah, Helvetica.

[Private Parts]

That is a Good font.

[Tove]

That's good. That's good.

[Doug Boone]

We didn't enter through the font, right? No, we didn't do anything.

[Natty Wonder]

Opened up and we fell down. Fight to the Baron.

[Tove]

Sacred font of the Wind Trader. Translucent water, hard as rock, but not ice. Silver coin. Wind lines. That's. Sorry, that's what I had written down. Yeah, I'm a bit of a note taker now.

[Doug Boone]

You know me. Sorry. Cyborg review just now.

[Natty Wonder]

Sorry. Yeah, that's the voices.

[Baron]

Weird.

[Natty Wonder]

Like with inside out. Our characters are inside our head that are operating all the buttons that do stuff.

[Tove]

Yep.

[Natty Wonder]

What was that liquid in the font?

[Preacher Reggie]

Oh, an entrance for the pier into these passages lies within that font.

[Natty Wonder]

Is it like the wall that was in the room we were just in?

[Preacher Reggie]

Similar. Yes, similar.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay, so the portal. Portal base.

[Preacher Reggie]

There is a. Let's call it a test of sorts.

[Tove]

Okay.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay. Thank you. I love answers.

[Tove]

That makes sense because, you know, for some of us, maybe it was, you know, you could go through it like the Vol. In the previous episode. Anyways. Okay, gang, let's go down to the mural. Reggie, are you going to be joining us?

[Preacher Reggie]

No, but I would like to join you in pure spirit, if you'll allow me.

[Tove]

Yeah, go nuts.

[Natty Wonder]

Natty readies like an Eldritch blast in her hand like. Like Gambit charging up a card in his hand. Natty's doing that.

[Baron]

Preacher. Reggie puts his hands together and then puts them forward in front of you.

[Preacher Reggie]

All and says, bless these four travelers who have been chosen by the Wind Trader so that they may become pure vessels.

[Baron]

And with that, a. Like a little puff emits from his ring and settles over U4.

[Natty Wonder]

Natty holds her breath.

[Doug Boone]

What do we feel like? Do we notice anything? Anything changed?

[Baron]

You feel like that little puff and the little cloud has a smell to it. It's got an aroma.

[Natty Wonder]

Natty's still holding her breath. I'm telling you.

[Private Parts]

What does it smell like?

[Baron]

Doug wants to smell as it settles and as it begins to go into your nose and your nasal passage, it reeks. It's like a really bad, cheap perfume. It's just like. That's maybe like. Maybe the oils in it have started to, like, go bad. It's just.

[Doug Boone]

So you're saying it's stinky?

[Baron]

Yes, it's a very stinky, offensive odor.

[Gunther]

Is it, like, supposed to be smelling good and it went bad?

[Baron]

Like.

[Gunther]

Is that what you mean? Or is it just like fart and sulfur?

[Natty Wonder]

Do you know how this reads to me? This reads to me like a. Like a priest who's held on to their like anointing oil for too long and the oil has gone like rancid. But they're still using it for their like, religious practices. That's what it reads to me.

[Baron]

Preacher Reggie opens his eyes and takes a big sniff.

[Preacher Reggie]

Ah, purity.

[Natty Wonder]

Wow.

[Tove]

Thanks for the JCPenney perfume sampler. Okay, let's go gang. Chop chop.

[Gunther]

Thank you, Reggie.

[Private Parts]

Thanks.

[Gunther]

Can I. Can I go? And I guess salute with the little still kick thing. I'm worried about private parts that we should dally.

[Tove]

That's why I said let's go to the mural. So we should get going.

[Baron]

All of you make a perception check for me before you get going.

[Natty Wonder]

While we're making that perception check, Gigi smells the noxious thing and decides to reciprocate with a fart towards him. Wow.

[Gunther]

That's a four. But I. The winds say to go to the north.

[Tove]

Incredible aromas. 2119.

[Doug Boone]

Mr. Boone, I got a 21.

[Baron]

Oh, okay. All four of you look around. Gunther doesn't realize it, but the other three of you do. Now that the. That puff and that aroma has settled over you guys, you all look really clean. It's like you've. You took a bath or something and straightened yourselves up. You all looking pretty good.

[Natty Wonder]

Any change? Meta wise magic food?

[Baron]

No. Yeah, just. Yeah, you got the riz.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay.

[Tove]

Okay.

[Gunther]

The winds, I felt them. And they pulled to the north.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, we know that. We just want to see some art. So we're going to go. We're going to follow. We're going to follow our leader to where he takes us.

[Tove]

Just a quick stop by the, the, the mural. I don't think it'll hurt us. You know, we've been finding so many cool bits of information at the murals.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah.

[Gunther]

Got their salutes and falls in line.

[Doug Boone]

I. I don't know if I've mentioned this, but I think metagame wise, Doug would have probably sketched each mural that they've seen so far in his little notebook. So he has like a rough drawing of what each one would have been so far.

[Tove]

That's good intel. Way to go, Private Doug.

[Private Parts]

Thank you. Also Private Tolv. What's your last name? Oh, okay, so kind of like Madonna, Beyonce or.

[Tove]

A little bit. Yeah, I consider myself kind of an icon. A bit of an artist. Yeah.

[Private Parts]

Okay. Private Toll.

[Baron]

Gunther. Do we know your last name?

[Gunther]

No.

[Baron]

Okay.

[Gunther]

Oh, wait. I don't know. I don't know if you've mentioned it or not.

[Natty Wonder]

Well, we know last name. Didn't he?

[Doug Boone]

Wasn't it Windbreaker? Yeah, yeah. Because I think we've learned your parents names at one point.

[Natty Wonder]

All right, to the mural.

[Tove]

My name is Tove. Members only. Jacket, windbreaker. I don't know.

[Doug Boone]

Anyways, that one went right over my head.

[Tove]

All right, going to the mural. Here we go. What do we see?

[Baron]

All right, so what's your marching order? You know, you go to this door to the east. And what's the order you're gonna go through it?

[Tove]

I don't mind leading.

[Gunther]

I'll go behind.

[Doug Boone]

I'll go last.

[Baron]

Okay, so it's gonna be tolve, Gunther, Natty, Doug.

[Tove]

Before I open the door, I would like to check for traps.

[Baron]

All right. Make an investigation. Check.

[Tove]

Okay, here we go. We'll lead you astray team. That's a tin.

[Baron]

Nope, nothing at all.

[Tove]

Great. Kicking the door down. Here we go.

[Baron]

All right, so this door to the east is. It's like a sliding iron door. And you go to open it and it. It doesn't budge. It appears to be locked.

[Tove]

Got my iron key from earlier. Yeah, I can try on it.

[Baron]

Yeah, you use that key and the door makes it very satisfying. Click. And unlocks and slides away to the side.

[Tove]

All right.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, real quick. I never do this, but I should do it as a good little warlock. I'm gonna cast armor of Agathis on myself. A protective magical force surrounds you, manifesting as a special frost that covers you and your gear. You gain five temporary hit points for the duration. And if a creature hits you with a melee attack while you have these hit points, the creature takes. Takes five. Cold damage, lasts an hour.

[Baron]

Ooh, nice.

[Tove]

It helps with detection skills. This is Agatha Christie.

[Natty Wonder]

I was wondering where that was coming from. I was like, I don't see that description.

[Doug Boone]

You're gonna do Agatha all along?

[Tove]

Oh, no.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay, cool.

[Baron]

Yeah. So you slide the door open to. And you. You look. And it's almost like this is a long hallway. So it goes for a little bit to the east in the direction you're facing, and then curves and is a long hallway to the north. The air in this passage, unlike the other ones you've been in so far, is clean. It's not all dusty. And there's iron walls with symbols etched into them. And there's four exits. One to the northwest, one to the northeast, one to the southeast. And then the one you came in from the southwest.

[Tove]

Okay, so it's like.

[Baron]

It's a long passageway to the north. Then at the top, it almost like t intersections where there's a passage to the left and a passage to the right. And then partway up the hallway to the north, there's a passage that juts off to the east.

[Natty Wonder]

What'd you say was on the wall? Runes or something? What was it?

[Baron]

There's iron walls with symbols etched into.

[Natty Wonder]

Them, and then there's no mural.

[Baron]

Well, you take a look at the symbols, and it's almost like that is the art in this room. They're like crudely drawn symbols on the iron walls, and it appears like they're silver coins with wind lines. Three wind lines made of white chains.

[Natty Wonder]

Chased chain was what they were called.

[Gunther]

Wait, along all the walls, along the.

[Baron]

Western wall, because there's no door on that one. There's no passage on that one, I should say.

[Natty Wonder]

And it's. All of the symbols are the same. The silver coin or the silver circle with the wind lines.

[Baron]

I should clarify just because it was confusing the way I said it. It's almost like two different symbols all over the walls. There's like the silver coin with wind lines. And then separately, there's also, like, three wind lines made of white chains.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay, so that's just like tile wise decorating the wall?

[Baron]

Yeah, I would say tile, but it's almost like mosaic, like, all over the place.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay.

[Tove]

Okay. Do we recognize this new symbol? I think that the three wind lines with white chains is kind of a new thing.

[Natty Wonder]

It's the same thing you were describing of what was on the coin, isn't it? Or are they different symbols?

[Baron]

It seems like it's a. A different symbol. These are like wind lines made out because the coin has wind lines, and these are wind lines that appear to be made of white chains. They're similar, but there is, like, a difference. Like these wind lines are made of chains. The other one on the coin is not made of chains.

[Natty Wonder]

That's what I'm saying. But the formation is the same thing. Like, if we're looking at the. The tablet on the fifth Element. The same symbol.

[Baron]

Sure, sure. Yeah.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah. I imagine it has to do with, like, some symbolism for the wind trader.

[Natty Wonder]

It's the wind trader. Yeah. Yeah. That's what.

[Baron]

That's.

[Natty Wonder]

I'm with you on that.

[Doug Boone]

Chased chain, though, is what you mentioned is what that faction is called.

[Baron]

Correct.

[Doug Boone]

Been making these different murals and stuff like that.

[Baron]

Correct.

[Natty Wonder]

Well, Tolv, what we do well checking.

[Tove]

In on Private Wind. Where is he blowing?

[Natty Wonder]

He was blowing us. Not to this room member.

[Tove]

Well, let's just see if he changed his mind. You know, maybe he rerouted it like a gps. Not that you guys know what that Means make a.

[Baron]

Make a perception check. Private Tolve.

[Tove]

Okay, that is a Nat 20. Let's go.

[Private Parts]

Now, that's a leader.

[Tove]

That is leaders.

[Baron]

You feel like the wind is pushing you generally north, like, to the end of the. Let's call it. Hallway. So, like, up to the. The very north.

[Doug Boone]

And in the previous room, the wind was also directing Gunther north. So I wonder if it just wants to get us north.

[Tove]

Yeah, maybe the two exits combine at the end. Okay, gang, I'm not seeing artsy fartsy like we were all hoping. Sorry there's no mural. I'll take responsibility.

[Baron]

It's kind of artsy.

[Tove]

No, it's not a cool, like, guy drowning in the sea or, like, any, like, star map or anything fun. I'm gonna take personal responsibility for that one gang, as your leader. Okay. But I will find you new art hearts. Let's go to the north, because that's what the wind is telling us to do.

[Private Parts]

Yes.

[Natty Wonder]

Have you noticed Tolf keeps talking to somebody that's not here?

[Private Parts]

What do you mean? I thought he's talking to us.

[Natty Wonder]

He keeps responding to someone that's not here. And I'm not quite sure what. Where he's going when he does that.

[Tove]

Hey, what are you guys talking about?

[Private Parts]

Told you to talk about anything, buddy. You doing okay?

[Tove]

Yeah.

[Private Parts]

Do you hear voices or.

[Tove]

I mean, sometimes. Yeah, sure. Don't you guys?

[Private Parts]

Is a voice sound like a man named Bustavo?

[Doug Boone]

Yeah.

[Tove]

Yeah, I know.

[Doug Boone]

That sounds like a pasta dish.

[Natty Wonder]

Is that another deity that you worship you forgot about?

[Tove]

Maybe. You know, it's been so long.

[Doug Boone]

It sounds like pasta.

[Baron]

Yeah, you wouldn't be the first one told.

[Tove]

Okay, guys, we're gonna go to the north once we're done, you know, talking to each other about my voices. All right. I'm not offended by the way. It's cool.

[Natty Wonder]

That's fine. I just. I'm concerned about your health. I'm always going to be concerned about you.

[Tove]

Healthy as Knox, doing great.

[Natty Wonder]

So do we safely go north, Gustavo?

[Baron]

Yeah, we'll say yes. You all go to the northern end of the passage. And like I said at the top, it's almost like a T. There's a door to the west, and then a small passage and then a door going to the east.

[Tove]

I think maybe we take the small passage because that's kind of telling us north. Right?

[Doug Boone]

Well, do you want to maybe see if the wind is indicating any sort of direction?

[Tove]

Private wind, you're up. Here we go. Perception.

[Baron]

Yeah.

[Tove]

Oh, that's a seven. Anybody else want to check in on private wind.

[Gunther]

I'll check. That's 2017.

[Doug Boone]

Nice.

[Tove]

Way to go.

[Baron]

You're really in touch with the wind. I'm impressed.

[Doug Boone]

I mean, his last name is Windbreaker.

[Baron]

Oh, that's true.

[Tove]

Just don't break it.

[Baron]

I was thinking maybe it's because he's, like, damp and he can feel it. You feel it a little more easily. Yeah. Gunther. You feel like the wind is gently guiding you to the east.

[Gunther]

Gunther closes his eyes and follows it.

[Baron]

Okay.

[Doug Boone]

So spiritual.

[Gunther]

Yeah.

[Baron]

You follow it, and you gently bump into a door.

[Gunther]

Oh, I found the way to the door.

[Tove]

Great.

[Gunther]

Is it locked?

[Baron]

Yeah. You take a look, and you can't appear to budget, and it looks like there is no handle on the door.

[Tove]

There a keyhole? Private key. You're up.

[Baron]

Private key. No, you do not see a keyhole on it.

[Gunther]

Can I look at the ground below it and see if it's. You know, when a door opens it, like, the dirt moves, kind of creates like, a, you know, semicircle.

[Baron]

Sure.

[Gunther]

Like, for where the. Where the door turns. Can I see if it, like, opens inward or outward?

[Baron]

You know, make an investigation check for me one.

[Gunther]

I find nothing.

[Baron]

What door?

[Gunther]

I still have my eyes closed.

[Tove]

How sturdy is this door?

[Baron]

It seems like it's a. An iron door. It's. It's kind of sturdy.

[Natty Wonder]

That's, like, your captain.

[Tove]

I don't want to talk about him. Okay. How about, like, are there any. Oh, do I see any, like, weaknesses? You know, like, any, like, hinges that could get blown off by, like, a cool hammer?

[Baron]

Yeah. You begin taking a look for hinges, trying to see if there's something you could hit with a hammer toll. And as you're doing that, you see there's a marred sign on the door, something you hadn't noticed before. You take a look, and it's almost like it's. It's hard to read, but you can see it. Like, it ends in enter.

[Tove]

Do not enter.

[Doug Boone]

Maybe.

[Natty Wonder]

Now, there's usually a lot of, like, positive words in front of enter on a. On an entryway. It's like, y'all should enter or knock and enter.

[Doug Boone]

You'd be foolish not to enter.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah.

[Tove]

Can I take a, you know, page out of our good friend preacher Reggie's book and purify this here plaque and see if it says anything?

[Baron]

Reggie.

[Tove]

Reggie. So sorry. Sorry, Reggie. I don't know if you heard that.

[Preacher Reggie]

It's okay.

[Baron]

Yeah. What do you mean by that? Like, how are you gonna purify it?

[Tove]

Just give it a wipey wipe.

[Baron]

Yeah.

[Tove]

See if it, like, takes any dirt or grime off. So I can see the rest of the sign.

[Baron]

You, like, pull the sleeve of your tunic up over the palm of your hand and, like, rub at it.

[Tove]

Yeah, sure.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, Natty goes, I can help. And just picks up Gigi and just wipes his slobber all over the sign to wet it for him.

[Baron]

Yuck. Make me a roll to see if Gigi's compliant or not.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, let's see.

[Doug Boone]

Of course.

[Natty Wonder]

14. So, yeah, he is.

[Baron]

Okay. I was gonna have him eat the sign if he failed.

[Natty Wonder]

Well, I was thinking even if he wasn't compliant, it'd be like. If you're picking up, like, almost like a. Like a little dog that doesn't want to be held. You know, that little squirm they do.

[Baron]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Natty Wonder]

So no, but he's happy to do this. He wants to help.

[Baron]

Yeah. There's lots of flavors on the. On the door for Giggy.

[Doug Boone]

He goes meal time.

[Natty Wonder]

Just building up his immune system.

[Baron]

Yeah. And you scrub at it a bit, I guess. Told. And it doesn't clean up too much, but. Yeah, you think before, the word enter might have been the word not.

[Gunther]

Oh, could Gunther hold up a piece of silver to the door and see if it does anything?

[Baron]

Yeah, just like a currency silver piece.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah, good idea.

[Baron]

Yeah, you hold. Hold up and touch the silver to it, and nothing seems to happen.

[Doug Boone]

And we already checked that. It's unlocked, correct?

[Baron]

Yeah, it seemed to be. Stuck, locked, close.

[Tove]

Okay, gang, so the wind is telling us to go north, but this is a dead end. It feels.

[Private Parts]

Well, maybe we could go back into the other room where we met Reggie and then go north from there, because maybe that's another way to get north.

[Baron]

Inspiration died, don't forget. There is also. Besides the passage to the northwest out here, there is another passage to the east out of here as well that you passed on your way up, which.

[Doug Boone]

Would be coming back the way we went, kind of, Right?

[Baron]

No, you came from the south. So if you went back down a little bit in this passageway, there's another passway branching off to the east.

[Doug Boone]

Okay, got it.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay. But the wind was pointing us this direction.

[Tove]

Yeah.

[Baron]

Correct.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, I agree. We should maybe backtrack and go towards the original direction that our wind buddy was telling us.

[Tove]

I think that's a great idea. I do want to point out we are going to have another awkward encounter. Encounter with Reggie. So as long as you guys are.

[Natty Wonder]

Cool, it's only awkward if you make it awkward.

[Tove]

I'm very awkward.

[Private Parts]

What if we. We do that thing where, you know, if you're, like, racing to get somewhere because you're late and you're like, oh, I'm so sorry. Can't talk. I. I gotta get somewhere really fast. But, like, I'll see you later. Like, you know, still friendly, but also urgent at the same time.

[Tove]

Brilliant strategist. My gosh, I've been in a lot.

[Private Parts]

Of awkward situations that I've had to wheel and deal my way out of.

[Gunther]

We say the wind God is calling us to purify and must hurry.

[Tove]

Okay, so let's go back down the hall, and then we're going to just immediately take, I think, a right to the other passage to the north.

[Gunther]

All right.

[Tove]

Yeah. Everybody cool?

[Baron]

Yes. Right. Thumbs up. You begin proceeding. Heading you back down south down this hallway. Everyone make me a perception check.

[Gunther]

11 NAT 20 for 21, 30, 20, 25.

[Doug Boone]

Okay, some good rolls there at a NAT 20. So you gotta tell me everything, the three of you.

[Baron]

Everyone except Natty and Gigi. You notice as you are proceeding back down south through the passageway that the wind shifts. And as you're passing that other passageway that branches off to the east, it turns and starts pushing to the east at that point.

[Tove]

Oh, make up your mind, private wind. I guess we should follow that. I mean, I'm down if you are.

[Baron]

That's spoken like a true leader.

[Tove]

Guys, we're gonna go down. Let's go to the east. Come on.

[Private Parts]

You got it. Lito atollv.

[Tove]

God, I can't wait to get out of these tunnels.

[Doug Boone]

Eczema isn't always obvious, but it's real. And so is the relief from EVGLIS. After an initial dosing phase of 16 weeks, about 4 in 10 people taking efficiency achieved itch relief and clear or almost clear skin. And most of those people maintain skin that's still more clear at one year.

[Baron]

With monthly Dosingab LBKZ. A 250 milligram per 2 milliliter injection is a prescription medicine used to treat adults and children 12 years of age and older who weigh at least 88 pounds or 40 kilograms with moderate to severe eczema, also called atopic dermatitis, that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin or topicals or who cannot use topical therapies. EBGLIS can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you're allergic to ebglis. Allergic reactions can occur that can be.

[Natty Wonder]

Severe eye problems can occur.

[Baron]

Tell your doctor if you have new or worsening eye Problems. You should not receive a live vaccine when treated with ebglis. Before starting ebglis, tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection searching for real relief.

[Doug Boone]

Ask your doctor about eglis and visit eglis.lilly.com or call 1-800-LilyRx or 1-800-545-5979.

[Tove]

You don't wake up dreaming of McDonald's fries. You wake up dreaming of McDonald's hash browns. McDonald's breakfast comes first. Ba da ba ba ba.

[Baron]

Still getting around to that fix on your car? You got this on ebay. You'll find millions of parts guaranteed to fit. Doesn't matter if it's a major engine repair or your first time swapping your windshield wipers. Ebay has that part you need. Ready to click perfectly into place for changes big and small, loud or quiet. Find all the parts you need at prices you'll love. Guaranteed to fit every time. But you already know that. Ebay Things people love. Eligible items only. Exclusions apply.

[Tove]

Cool. I'm taking. Taking them to these.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah, I followed.

[Baron]

Yeah. There's a door here, and it appears to be a. Another sliding iron door like the one you entered this passageway via.

[Tove]

Hey, private key. Insert into the hole. Do your job.

[Baron]

It seems to be unnecessary. This one, you know, when you push on the door, it's like you're able to. To move it without having to use private key.

[Tove]

How do you use private key?

[Baron]

It's going to be real embarrassing if it becomes corporal key. And you all have to, you know. Yeah. So you open up this sliding door and it reveals another. Chris got that one. Chris likes that one. Delicious.

[Gunther]

I was just thinking about if it's like, lock Lockheed mark, because it's in the military.

[Baron]

Oh, that's funny. The sliding door moves aside and you see another passageway proceeding to the east. And this passageway also has clean air and iron walls. And there's tools and leather aprons hanging on the walls. There's two exits. The one you came in and then to the northeast. So it's like a long passage. And then if you continue going east down the passage, then to the north down. That's where the exit is.

[Doug Boone]

What kind of tools are hanging on the wall?

[Baron]

You see leather aprons, tongs, moles, and bellows.

[Gunther]

So, like blacksmith stuff.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, or silversmith similar.

[Doug Boone]

Do you have blacksmith tools already? Gunther.

[Tove]

Gunther. You need to restart.

[Gunther]

I thought I did, but then I found out that I didn't.

[Baron]

But I thought you picked those up, like, from the underground passage where you got the zodia thing Barbara did because.

[Gunther]

I thought I already had some.

[Doug Boone]

Oh, I think I got thieves tools. I don't know if I have blacksmith's tools either.

[Gunther]

You got smithing tools? Because I remember I didn't pick them up.

[Baron]

There's plenty here.

[Doug Boone]

Oh, I do have smith's tools.

[Baron]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, if you both want them. Yeah, there's plenty here, I guess.

[Gunther]

Yeah, I'll pick him up and put it on as if I look like. So that we shall look like we are cleansing.

[Private Parts]

Good idea. Fit right in.

[Baron]

So what you like, take one of the aprons and put it on and keep the tongs, the moles, and the bellows in your inventory?

[Gunther]

Yeah.

[Baron]

Okay.

[Gunther]

Should we just put all those together as they're like just smithing tools, or do we put them in individually?

[Baron]

I guess you can just put like smithing tools if you want, but I would say keep the leather apron separate because that's not like generally considered part of smithing tools.

[Tove]

Cool.

[Baron]

Gunther, are you the only one doing that?

[Tove]

I'll take a leather apron just because I feel like that's a good disguise. I think they can throw out a good idea there.

[Natty Wonder]

I just don't think it matches my outfit, so I'm going to abstain.

[Tove]

Totally understand.

[Private Parts]

I'm not going to take one either because, you know, we could just say that we're escorting these guys to do their work.

[Natty Wonder]

Let's say they're escorting us.

[Private Parts]

Oh, fancy.

[Tove]

You've got your best performers. Then we're going to be talking for you guys. You got it. We're going to lie. So good to see the pants off of them. Okay, Chris, once you're done, then I think we could probably.

[Gunther]

Yeah, no, I'm. I'm good. All right, I'm ready.

[Tove]

So let's go to that east door. All right, Private key.

[Baron]

You all begin walking down the hallway, and as you're walking towards something in the leather apron keeps slapping your thigh with every step that you take. There's like something weighing down one of the pockets in front of the leather apron.

[Tove]

I check the pocket. What's in here?

[Baron]

You dig around inside of it and you pull out a spatula.

[Gunther]

Spatula?

[Baron]

Yeah, it's a spatula that appears to be made out of red jade and like the blade part is like half missing.

[Gunther]

Do I have anything in the other aprons?

[Baron]

You check, and the pockets in yours appear to be empty. Gunther.

[Natty Wonder]

What you got, Tove?

[Tove]

I got a red jade spatula. We're having burgers tonight, guys.

[Natty Wonder]

Woo. That's probably not cursed.

[Doug Boone]

Does Doug recognize it at all or, like, see any significance in it?

[Baron]

Doug, you've only heard of this and you've only read about this. You can't believe you're actually seeing this with your own two eyes. This is the spatula of searing.

[Private Parts]

The spatula of Sir Ceiling, which I know does.

[Baron]

This magical spatula can heat metals until they glow red hot. Cool.

[Private Parts]

That would be pretty useful.

[Baron]

But it seems weird. In all the writings you've ever read about it, Doug, the blade should be whole. It seems like maybe it's only. It's missing part of itself here.

[Doug Boone]

So, like it's been broken?

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, maybe the other piece is in the room somewhere or like one of.

[Private Parts]

The other pockets of the different aprons. Aprons hanging now.

[Tove]

Guys, fan out. We gotta find this spatula. All right, let's go. Let's look for it.

[Gunther]

It's very important we check the aprons.

[Baron]

Make me toll. Make me a constitution saving throw.

[Tove]

Okay?

[Doug Boone]

Is he getting burned by it right now?

[Tove]

That's not one inspiration die.

[Baron]

Is this the ones the. The one from earlier?

[Tove]

Yep, this is the one.

[Doug Boone]

I would say that this is actually quite an important maybe roll 24.

[Tove]

Call Jack Bauer.

[Baron]

The spatula of searing seems to be getting hot in your hand and it's making you feel kind of queasy.

[Tove]

Okay, I'm gonna just put that down on the table.

[Baron]

No table.

[Tove]

Gonna put that down on the ground.

[Gunther]

Gunther uses the tongs and holds it.

[Baron]

Okay.

[Tove]

Wow, that was weird. Anyways, anybody else want to carry the spatula of burn my hand off.

[Gunther]

We can hold it for now. Can we look for the other aprons for it? Yeah, the other part of it.

[Baron]

If anyone wants to do that. You can make me an investigation check.

[Doug Boone]

I will also look.

[Baron]

All right.

[Doug Boone]

12, 4, 22.

[Baron]

Ooh. It's a good roll. Yeah. You check all three of you check some of the other or all of the other aprons that are hanging on the wall. And none of them seem to have anything in the pockets.

[Natty Wonder]

I figured with that investigation check, we check the whole room. Is that okay? Or do we need to do another rule first?

[Baron]

Yeah, sure. Yeah, you check around the whole room. There's really nothing other than the aprons and the tools hanging on the walls. So there really wouldn't be too much else to check. But yeah, you look around wherever you can and yeah, you can't seem to find anything else.

[Natty Wonder]

Doug, I just had a thought. Since you know what this little doohickey is, are you able to maybe turn it off?

[Doug Boone]

Would I have that knowledge of My. Like, if I'm familiar with this, and I know kind of what it does to a degree, would I know anything about that?

[Baron]

You don't think there would be any way to turn it off? Based on your knowledge of this artifact, you think that it might be malfunctioning?

[Doug Boone]

Oh, maybe because it doesn't have the other piece.

[Baron]

Yeah. Perhaps if you had the right tools, you could mend it with your artificer skills. But in its current state, it's not quite operating the way it should.

[Doug Boone]

I mean, I do have Smith's tools. Could I attempt to fix it real quick?

[Natty Wonder]

Well, we don't have a thing to attach to it. We're missing the piece.

[Baron]

Right, you're missing, like, a piece and. Or, like, a source of heat, like a fire or something to kind of heat that goo up.

[Private Parts]

I'm sure some member on my team could, you know, make a fire, you know, have some type of fire spell. Right, guys? Right. Right.

[Natty Wonder]

Surely you have fire spells, you silly boy.

[Private Parts]

Oh, I do. I got so excited for the spatula of sealing that I just. Also, I'm hungry, so. But it's just a little distracted.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay, well, let's. Let's hold on to this important artifact until it becomes pertinent for us to use it or fix it.

[Doug Boone]

But it's. It's affecting toll, is it not?

[Natty Wonder]

He's holding it with the tongs. The.

[Gunther]

The.

[Natty Wonder]

The croak folk dude's guy holding it?

[Gunther]

Yeah.

[Tove]

Okay, well, I mean, you're only going to be able to do that until we're in combat, and then you're gonna have to drop it. So, like, maybe we should wrap it in, like, leather and then someone carries it.

[Gunther]

That might burn it as well.

[Private Parts]

We'll just hold on to the tongs until we need to drop it.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah.

[Natty Wonder]

Gunther's got this. He needs something to do.

[Gunther]

Maybe.

[Natty Wonder]

Maybe Greggy knows you said his name, right? Look at you. Reggie from.

[Baron]

Kind of funny.

[Gunther]

No?

[Natty Wonder]

All right, where to now, leader?

[Tove]

We're going to keep following that wind. We're going to keep going eastward.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay. North.

[Baron]

Yeah. You go east, and then the door is at the northern end of this passage.

[Tove]

Okay. So we'll go to that door.

[Baron]

All right.

[Doug Boone]

I want to also mention, I think Doug would be looking at every kind of, like, piece of the floor and, like, along the walls to see if there's a piece of the broken blade anywhere, any room that they go into. Just kind of, like, lightly looking around.

[Baron]

Okay. Yeah, that sounds good.

[Natty Wonder]

Passive perception.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah. So I don't know if you want Me to roll a perception with every room we get.

[Baron]

What I'll do is intermittently, I'll ask you for them.

[Tove]

Okay.

[Gunther]

But that door that had the sign that says something enter probably do not. Did there look like there's anything that this spatula could have interacted with with, like used to open it?

[Tove]

Or we could like Qui Gon Jinn Episode one it and just smelt through the door.

[Baron]

I would say you weren't looking for that before, so you don't exactly remember. And you rolled a really bad investigation check.

[Gunther]

That's true, I did.

[Baron]

So you wouldn't necessarily know that for a fact. So you come up to this door, and it's an iron door. And this iron door also has a sign on it. And the sign reads entrance only.

[Natty Wonder]

Perfect.

[Tove]

I wonder if this aligns. Like if this is we're about to enter the room we would have entered, but through the correct path. Tolv leads the way. Follow me, gang.

[Baron]

So you open up the door.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah, I follow Tolf.

[Gunther]

Yes.

[Tove]

After checking for traps. After checking for traps.

[Baron]

Make an investigation check for me.

[Tove]

You've got it.

[Baron]

Ooh.

[Tove]

17.

[Baron]

Yeah. You check the door for traps. And it does not appear to have any traps on it aside from just the opening mechanism.

[Tove]

All clear. Better safe than sorry. I already opened the door.

[Baron]

You open the door, and it opens up to a room with clean air. It's a circular room with iron walls with a bloomery in the center. And the Baron standing over a table holding tongs with private parts strapped to the table.

[Gunther]

Oh, no.

[Baron]

There's two exits to this room. The one you came from from the south, and then one out to the west.

[Gunther]

A brumery.

[Baron]

A bloomery. It's a. It's a conical magical chimney made of clay. And there's pieces of silver slag nearby.

[Doug Boone]

So many words I don't know.

[Baron]

It's involved in, like, the smelting of silver.

[Doug Boone]

And you said there's exits to the.

[Baron]

West and to the south. And the one from the south is the one you just came in.

[Doug Boone]

Okay. And they're in the center of the room.

[Baron]

In the center of the room? Yeah. That's where the. The bloomery is. And there's also the Baron standing over the table holding tongs with private parts strapped to the table.

[Gunther]

Have they seen us?

[Baron]

Private parts sees you, but the Baron does not. At the moment, it appears like the Baron is trying to interrogate private parts, asking what do you know of the Pathfinder? Okay, Tol, give us the plan.

[Natty Wonder]

Where are you? You're not Private anymore. What are we. You're acting. Dang it. I'd have private parts. That fool's tied up.

[Tove]

Team leader, super private at this point.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah.

[Tove]

Okay, so Tolve is going to take out his shield, and then he's gonna take out a javelin. And then with the javelin, he's gonna point at Doug and Gunther, and then he's gonna point down to the left of the door.

[Private Parts]

You want us to sneak. Sneak that way?

[Natty Wonder]

Hey, Doug, do you think Tolv knows he's saying this out loud? Do you think he knows that we.

[Private Parts]

All know that Tol likes to talk and throw it toys.

[Tove]

And then I'm gonna point the javelin back at Natty. And then I'm gonna to point it at me. And then I'm going to point to the right and say, we're going to go that way.

[Doug Boone]

I know that Doug is. Is sneaky, so I'm proficient in stealth.

[Natty Wonder]

That's true.

[Gunther]

Gunther nods. But then look. Holds up the burning thing with his tongs, puts it in his apron.

[Tove]

Y.

[Gunther]

Gives.

[Baron]

Yeah. Thumbs up.

[Tove]

Thumbs up.

[Gunther]

And then quietly pulls out his sword and goes. We shall check for bonds for private parts. Very base.

[Tove]

Okay, that's cool. I'm gonna throw the spear at the baron. And Natty, I think you should cast a spell. Surprise him. And then you guys jump him while we're distracting him.

[Gunther]

Okay?

[Tove]

It's gonna be very cool.

[Private Parts]

Okay. You got it, boss.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay.

[Tove]

It's gonna be so good. Go, team. Okay, here we go. Then I saw the javelin.

[Doug Boone]

Have we snuck to the sides yet?

[Baron]

Yeah. So I think, Tov, I think you would give them a chance to go out to their respective sides.

[Gunther]

Yes.

[Baron]

First, I'm going to answer Chris's or Gunther's earlier question about private parts restraints. Make a investigation check for me, Gunther.

[Doug Boone]

I do like the idea that 14 to tells us to go to sneak to the sides, and then before we could even move, he throws a chapel.

[Natty Wonder]

Gus is being a little bit too giving in. Like, telling Blaine, like, you want to do that after they move, right?

[Baron]

Of course. Of course. That's what you want.

[Tove]

Totally.

[Baron]

So, Gunther, as you're, you know, entering the room and getting into position, you take a look at the restraints on private parts, and it seems like he's bound by leather straps to the iron table.

[Doug Boone]

Iron straps.

[Natty Wonder]

Leather straps.

[Baron]

Leather straps to the iron table.

[Doug Boone]

Iron table. Sorry, my brain heard the opposite.

[Tove]

Iron straps to the leather table.

[Private Parts]

Leather table.

[Gunther]

How does private parts look?

[Baron]

Handsome.

[Doug Boone]

Sweaty.

[Gunther]

Handsome. Sweaty. Okay, but, like, healthy.

[Natty Wonder]

Why don't we worry about his state after we have been able to approach him, let's go with this plan.

[Tove]

Still alive at this point because. Alive being asked. Yeah.

[Baron]

Maybe a little worse for the wear, but he's still, he's still kicking. He's still, he's still sweating.

[Natty Wonder]

Goes to where to? Told her to go.

[Baron]

All right, everyone make stealth checks.

[Tove]

Oh God.

[Doug Boone]

If I'm proficient, do I do two and take the best?

[Baron]

No, no. Proficient just means you add your like skill bonus to it or your proficiency bonus.

[Natty Wonder]

It should already be it in dnd beyond correct. It's just if you're proficient, you get a little bit more because it like it's a plus. Higher number.

[Doug Boone]

I only rolled an 11.

[Baron]

Yeah. For example, your stealth is a plus 4. If you weren't proficient in it, it would be a plus two.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah, right. Okay.

[Natty Wonder]

I rolled a 1421.

[Tove]

I have disadvantage on stealth, so I rolled a six.

[Natty Wonder]

Well, he doesn't need to be stealthy.

[Gunther]

That's true.

[Tove]

It's true.

[Baron]

Oh, I thought you were moving off to the side with Natty.

[Tove]

Well, I'm moving off to the side, but I. That we're the distraction.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, I didn't, I didn't. I didn't hear that part of the.

[Tove]

First. Right. We're going to throw in cast spells and javelins.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay.

[Tove]

And then, then they're gonna be behind him. So really they need to be the ones that, you know, past the stealth roll. I'm not pulling this out of my butt. This is all pre planned.

[Natty Wonder]

How this actually was supposed to go is they were supposed to go first and then we go.

[Tove]

Yeah, I don't. Yeah.

[Natty Wonder]

Do you want to pass leadership right now to someone else?

[Tove]

Almost. I'm almost there. Let's see how this encounter goes.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay, I'm not saying you should. I was just asking if that's where you feel.

[Tove]

Yeah, it's very strange. I have a much deeper appreciation for your three episodes worth of leadership.

[Natty Wonder]

You gotta walk in someone's shoes sometimes. Understand how those shoes feel.

[Tove]

They're very small and high heeled.

[Private Parts]

I don't think the boots would fit him.

[Tove]

I don't think so either.

[Private Parts]

Oh, sorry, I can't hear you guys because I'm on the other side.

[Baron]

So you all begin entering the room, but for some reason you all. I guess you're looking at each other. Looking at the Baron. Almost everyone trips on rocks or their armor starts clanging and the Baron's head shoots up and begins to turn around to look. But at that same moment, private parts begins shouting.

[Natty Wonder]

I know where the pathfinder is.

[Baron]

I can tell you everything you need to know. And the Baron's attention is refocused on private parts instantly.

[Natty Wonder]

Natty nudges Tov. Throw it. Throw it, you crazy man.

[Tove]

Okay, okay. Where are we going? Here go. Here we go, Gank.

[Natty Wonder]

Here we go. Here we go.

[Baron]

Yeah. You throw the javelin and the Baron seems unaware of you and your javelin strikes true. Hitting the Baron.

[Private Parts]

Nice hit.

[Tove]

That was a six.

[Baron]

Doing six points of damage.

[Tove]

This is getting modifier because it was a bit of a surprise attack.

[Natty Wonder]

They were like, whoa, no, you asking too much. You got a surprise attack. That's the bonus.

[Baron]

I think the bonus should actually be, now that you ask, I think you should have advantage on this. So roll it again to see if you crit because we know you hit. Let's roll again.

[Tove]

You know I'm going to crit. I didn't crit. Okay, 23.

[Baron]

So, yeah, your. Your javelin strikes you doing 61 points of damage.

[Tove]

I'm sorry, it was six.

[Baron]

Doing six points of damage.

[Doug Boone]

I was about to be like nine.

[Tove]

I appreciate that.

[Baron]

But no, I did not accidentally say how much hit points the Baron has. You did.

[Natty Wonder]

Everyone, thank you for that honesty, Gus.

[Baron]

Everyone, go ahead and roll Initiative really.

[Natty Wonder]

Quick while you roll Initiative. Natty grabs Tove, gets her hands right on his face, on his cheeks, pulls him right up to her face and she goes to. I need you angry for this fight. Okay, okay, okay.

[Tove]

I'm going to rage.

[Gunther]

Yes.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay. That's what I need for this fight.

[Tove]

Is this angry enough?

[Gunther]

Yes.

[Natty Wonder]

Perfect ease.

[Doug Boone]

Then just a quick question of clarity. Did private parts say, I know where the Pathfinder is?

[Baron]

Yes.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah.

[Doug Boone]

Okay. So clearly this is an individual because we. All we knew was what do you know? The Baron said, what do you know of the Pathfinder? So we didn't know if that was like, I see.

[Gunther]

I could be an object map.

[Doug Boone]

A thing.

[Baron]

Yeah.

[Tove]

There is the potential that the. That private parts knew we were about to spring an attack, so he said something to distract the Baron. Could be that's a possibility.

[Baron]

It seems like based on that. Yes. And also what Blaine said.

[Natty Wonder]

I rolled a 16 for initiative.

[Baron]

Thank you, Natty.

[Tove]

5, 10, 16.

[Baron]

Doug and Natty, you both had 16. Which one of you has higher dexterity?

[Doug Boone]

It's 15 and minus 14. So you have higher.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay.

[Gunther]

Hey, I have a question. I had fire vulnerability from like way, way back when.

[Baron]

Oh, that's worn off at this point. All right. The Baron turns around with rage in her eyes and sees the four of you split up across the southern portion of the room. Natty, you're up first.

[Natty Wonder]

Really? Okay.

[Tove]

Kill. Kill.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah. It's just assessing. I wasn't thinking going first. I'm just recessing. If there's anything else other than just shooting.

[Gunther]

I think we should get private parts and leave.

[Natty Wonder]

I don't know if an expeditious retreat is an option. He's kind of right next to the person we gotta fight. Yeah. I'm gonna hex the Baron. I hex you. And I'm gonna put disadvantage on.

[Baron]

I'll tell you what. I'm gonna ask you for something here, Natty. Cause you said that the person you're trying to get is right next to the person you're trying to fight. Make me a. Let's call it a perception check here.

[Natty Wonder]

Can do. That's 16.

[Baron]

As you're. You know, I don't know how you communicate. Yelling across the room to Gunther, trying to coordinate your plan. You notice something. You notice that, you know, when the Baron turns around and is looking at you guys. Private parts pulls out like a little hidden pocket knife and begins trying to cut at the leather straps. And you see one of his straps is nearly cut all the way through already.

[Tove]

Cool.

[Private Parts]

He seems to be handling it himself.

[Tove]

He's doing great. Great job, Private parts.

[Baron]

Luckily it's not iron straps, because his pocket knife wouldn't cut through that.

[Private Parts]

I was gonna say. Yeah, but let the table.

[Doug Boone]

You just cut through the table.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay. Yeah. But I still hex the Baron.

[Baron]

Yep. I'm painting a picture for you to do what you will.

[Natty Wonder]

I love pictures. Hex gives me disadvantages. Then the disadvantage on strength checks. I don't know. Nothing ever works these disadvantages. Because no one ever does checks in the middle of a fight.

[Baron]

Okay. I wrote it down.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay. Yeah. Nothing else to do. So then I shall do imma Blast him. And I shoot an eldritch blast at him.

[Baron]

All right.

[Tove]

Favorite catchphrase of the season.

[Baron]

Then I started blasting him.

[Tove]

Blast him.

[Natty Wonder]

23 to hit.

[Baron]

That hits.

[Natty Wonder]

All right. Seven force damage. The hex then does three necrotic damage.

[Private Parts]

Nice.

[Natty Wonder]

And then repelling blast pushes that baron 10ft back. Which is good. I like them getting away from parts. Prep out.

[Tove]

Sure.

[Natty Wonder]

And then plus three damage for my agonizing blast. For just. So another three damage.

[Baron]

Man, that's a lot.

[Tove]

Nice.

[Baron]

You did 13 points of damage.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah.

[Private Parts]

Wow.

[Natty Wonder]

Kind of cool.

[Doug Boone]

61. Are you sure?

[Baron]

61 minus 13. You can figure it out for yourself. Or. That's. That's how I did it. I was like, oh, okay.

[Natty Wonder]

Now I know and then, oh, Gigi, get him.

[Baron]

Ah, my Giggy impression.

[Gunther]

Murloc, I.

[Natty Wonder]

You know what we said, like, early on, like, at the top of this, like, campaign, like, like, oh, you asked, like, who's gonna do Giggy's voice? And I was like, I'll do it. But I like how it's turned into. Everyone just makes Giggy sounds. And so it's like taking turns where everyone just does little gremlin noises.

[Baron]

It's fun.

[Natty Wonder]

It is, it is. I agree. Yeah.

[Tove]

The audience hasn't heard Chris's impression. It's just a young British man. And we're like, no, Chris.

[Private Parts]

My name is Giggy.

[Tove]

No, Chris. Not quite.

[Natty Wonder]

Or shall I follow Otis?

[Doug Boone]

I will never not picture the little monster on the side of the bus on the Simpsons Treehouse of Horrors episode with Bart.

[Baron]

Yeah.

[Doug Boone]

That little gremlin monster on the side. That's how I picture Giggy forever.

[Baron]

That's a good one.

[Tove]

I think a stitch.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay, so Giggy then's gonna rush in for a good old. What does he do? Bite? He bites. He claws. He claws.

[Doug Boone]

He bites.

[Private Parts]

He bites. He clusty claws.

[Natty Wonder]

Now Giggy's gonna do a scare.

[Baron]

You should roll to see if Giggy's gonna do that.

[Natty Wonder]

You should roll if your butt's big.

[Private Parts]

I like big.

[Natty Wonder]

I haven't rolled this before. What's a 10, do you think?

[Baron]

I would think a 10 would be fail. Right. 1 through 10 is the lower half and 11 through 20 is the higher half half.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay. Geeky doesn't go for the Baron. Gigi goes and tries to scare Private Parts. So Private part needs to make a DC10 wisdom saving throw.

[Baron]

All right, I can do that. Give me one sec. I did not have Private Parts character sheet open yet, so let me open that.

[Natty Wonder]

If anybody in the comments can help me understand how to use hex more advantageously, considering so much of combat throws are saving throws, but it gives the combatant a disadvantage on checks. And I just haven't successfully used it very much.

[Baron]

It could help on things like grapple checks and things of that nature. So you could.

[Natty Wonder]

And that's why I go straight. That's why I go straight.

[Baron]

Right. Like you mentioned, strength. That's why I bring it up. So it's all about, like, what checks could your other party members proc. In combat?

[Natty Wonder]

Right.

[Baron]

That would then be.

[Natty Wonder]

And that's what I'm saying is, like, so far, no one's had checks that have been really necessary. And so that's why I'm like, well.

[Tove]

It'S good to know though, because now if we have a grapple situation.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, that's why I go that way. I do strength or dex. Cuz sometimes dex checks happen. Just cuz that's a. A thing like. Like physically that's good.

[Tove]

I'll keep that in mind going forward.

[Baron]

Private parts rolled an 11, so he succeeds. So I guess like he's, you know, trying to cut his traps and free himself. And Giggy locks eyes with him and makes a scary face. And Private Parts just kind of looks at him quizzically as a drop of sweat comes down, rolls down his temple, over his cheek.

[Natty Wonder]

Daddy still turns to Gig and goes, good boy. She's proud of him no matter what.

[Private Parts]

Very sweet.

[Baron]

All right, is that it for you, Nettie?

[Natty Wonder]

I'm done.

[Baron]

All right, Doug, step up to the plate.

[Private Parts]

Doug is here. Question for Doug.

[Baron]

Go ahead.

[Doug Boone]

Does he recall ever being frightened or like anyone being frightened by the Baron?

[Baron]

Like the Baron using an ability or something to frighten people?

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, yeah, in our first combat.

[Baron]

No, from your first combat, you remember that. It seemed like it won't apply here necessarily, but the Baron was using like those obelisks to kind of slow you guys and stop people and pin them. And it seemed like the baron was wearing armor that was maybe powered by those obelisks because you all destroyed one, and a piece of her armor kind of like broke and fell off.

[Doug Boone]

And those aren't down here, are they? The obelisk?

[Baron]

Correct. Those were up one level where the people from the ruins of Razine are currently.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah, I didn't know if there was like she brought some down with her or something.

[Tove]

No, where they're pilfering the Tee Hee people's resources.

[Gunther]

The armor's still there.

[Baron]

The rest of her armor's on, except for a black part of it that appears to have broken off.

[Private Parts]

Well, I feel like I want to be useful here. And I touch Gunther on the shoulder and I go guidance.

[Doug Boone]

And I cast guidance on Gunther.

[Gunther]

It is Gunther, but thank you.

[Private Parts]

You know what? I'm gonna let that one.

[Doug Boone]

So for this one, I touch one willing creature, which I assume Gunther is willing. And before the spell ends, the target can roll a D4 and add that roll to one ability check of its choice. It could roll the die before or after making the ability check. And then the spell ends. All right, and then before my turn ends, could I just do a quick glance around to see if I see that piece of the spatula?

[Baron]

Yeah, make a. Let's call it an investigation check.

[Doug Boone]

Oh, man. Rolled from a nat 20 onto a 2. So it's a 6 total.

[Baron]

Yeah. You look around the room trying to find any pieces of red jade, but as far as you can tell, you don't see anything like that in the. In the room that you're in right now.

[Doug Boone]

So the piece that's broken off is a piece of red jade that we'd be looking for.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah. Wait, it's red jade?

[Baron]

Yeah.

[Natty Wonder]

That jade was green.

[Tove]

Is it the handle or is it, like, the spatula part?

[Baron]

It's like the blade part.

[Tove]

Okay.

[Baron]

And jade can come in green, red, black, gray, brown, yellow, and white colors.

[Natty Wonder]

I feel like all we've learned from the show. One of the things we learned show is that all these. These precious stones that we always thought was, like, one color, because this is the same thing with, like. There was another one that in another campaign that we thought was, like, orange, but, like, turns out it comes in, like, turquoise and. And all that as well, right?

[Gunther]

Oh, yeah.

[Tove]

Steven Universe was very educational for me. In rocks and geology, they're minerals, Marie.

[Baron]

Yeah, that's it. You done, Doug?

[Doug Boone]

Yes.

[Baron]

Okay, so from a metagame perspective, Mike's been doing a little bit of reading while we've been sitting here talking. And I'm gonna read you something about Hicks. John, you may be interested in this. Curious about the spell's intent. The spell is meant to be a classic jinx, the sort seen in folklore. It's useful in and out of combat. In combat, the spell provides some extra necrotic damage. Outside of combat, you could foil a cunning diplomat, for example, by casting the spell and imposing disadvantage on his or her charisma.

[Tove]

Chance.

[Natty Wonder]

Does it have anything that notifies people you've hexed them, or can you do it discreetly?

[Baron]

I bet you could do it discreetly. I'd have to read the exact wording on this.

[Natty Wonder]

Nothing in the wording says they know that it's happened to them.

[Baron]

So it's got verbal and somatic components. So they maybe might hear you saying it, or they might see you, like, channeling physically channeling it.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, but you could do it discreetly if you want.

[Baron]

You could try it.

[Natty Wonder]

They themselves will not feel anything.

[Baron]

It seems like that way.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay, that is helpful to keep in mind. I will use hex more strategically in that way.

[Baron]

Tolve, you are up after. Tolve is the baron than Gunther.

[Tove]

Oh, yoo hoo. Okay, based on Natty's earlier direction, I'm gonna get real angry. Oh, you never seen me so mad before.

[Baron]

What did you think about to make you angry?

[Tove]

Tolf oh, Ironclad, I'm gonna rage. This is for you, Private Parts. So. But I'm raging. That was my bonus action. I'm gonna have my warhammer out and I'm gonna be doing one handed wielding and then my shield with the other one because I'm a little low on hp.

[Baron]

Okay.

[Tove]

And I'm gonna move myself towards the Baron and I'm gonna put myself between her and Private Parts. If I have the movement speed to do that.

[Baron]

You should be able to do that. That's no problem.

[Natty Wonder]

Because she's 10ft away from him now.

[Baron]

Exactly.

[Tove]

She's 10ft tall, probably.

[Natty Wonder]

That's a big wedding. Wait, what kind of a race was she? Was she an orc?

[Baron]

She is a fiend. She's a giant hairy devil.

[Tove]

And I go up and I say, you stay away from Private Parts. I am now the leader of this group and I shall not let you hurt him. And then I wink at Private Parts. And then I said, I hope your notes are coming out.

[Baron]

Gives you a thumbs up with his restrained hand table.

[Tove]

And then I attack. All right, that's a fart. That's a 12.

[Baron]

That hits, actually.

[Tove]

Oh, woohoo. That's a seven plus two nine.

[Baron]

Very good. That's a lot of damage.

[Tove]

Oh, thank you. And then I already did my bonus action, so yeah, I'm gonna stay put right there.

[Natty Wonder]

All right, good job.

[Baron]

Nice hit. Yeah, good job. So it's the Baron's turn to reply, and she says, that's not a knife.

[Doug Boone]

This is a knife.

[Natty Wonder]

Feel like I've heard that one before.

[Baron]

Nope, I just made that up right now.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, okay.

[Private Parts]

Wow. Very clever.

[Tove]

She.

[Baron]

She's going to attack you, Tole, because you're right in front of her and you hit her. She, you know, still has that woodcutter's axe that she's been using and she takes. Takes a swing at you.

[Tove]

Oh, I should equip my shield real quick.

[Baron]

Hitting. I think it doesn't matter for this one. Hitting AC24.

[Tove]

Yeah, that'll about do it. Does the. The resistance to bludging, piercing, or slashing damage help me out at all?

[Baron]

It will.

[Natty Wonder]

That's when you get the damage on the damage.

[Baron]

When she rolls her damage, you take half of that.

[Tove]

Okay.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay. Yeah.

[Tove]

Well, it's a hit. Well done.

[Baron]

She does seven points. Points of slashing damage. And you take half. We always round down. So you take three.

[Tove]

Cool.

[Baron]

She roars in anger and takes another swing with the woodcutter's axe at you.

[Tove]

Oh, geez.

[Baron]

And she rolls a One. So she swings at you with the ax, and it slips out of her hands and flies across the room, hitting the door to the south, then clattering down to the ground.

[Doug Boone]

So now she also doesn't have it.

[Baron]

Correct.

[Natty Wonder]

Dicky's looking at that axe.

[Baron]

She looks very angry.

[Tove]

It's okay. You tried your hardest. It's okay.

[Natty Wonder]

Hey, Tall, you don't need to be nice to her.

[Tove]

I mean, you goofed up so bad.

[Natty Wonder]

Amber. Barbarian. Barbarian.

[Baron]

All right, that is it for her. Gunther, you are up. Then after you is Private Parts.

[Natty Wonder]

All right.

[Baron]

Curious to see what he's gonna do, but. Yeah.

[Gunther]

Who? Which one? Me or Private Parts?

[Tove]

Oh.

[Gunther]

Oh.

[Baron]

It's like I'm playing him. I need to figure out what he's gonna do. I'm curious to know what's going to happen there.

[Gunther]

Can Gunther get to Private Parts without crossing past the baron?

[Baron]

Yes. Just because Natty had pushed her back 10ft. So she's 10ft away to the north. So, yeah, from where you are, you're able to have a straight line to Private Parts.

[Gunther]

All right. Gunther wants to feel the wind while moving with everything. All of his movements. He's still in tune with the wind.

[Doug Boone]

And you also have guidance as well, on you.

[Gunther]

Yeah, double but.

[Tove]

Are your eyes open?

[Gunther]

And then what? Wants to discreetly sneak towards Private Parts, kind of low to the ground, and then pop up and then cut the handholds or whatever the leather straps.

[Baron]

Are you trying to hide from the bearing?

[Gunther]

Yeah. Or at least not draw attention to the fact that we're. We're cutting Private Parts free.

[Baron]

Make a stealth check.

[Gunther]

Okay. That's a.22. The guidance. Can I save it?

[Natty Wonder]

Yes.

[Tove]

Okay.

[Gunther]

I'm saving it.

[Natty Wonder]

It's a concentration spell that lasts for, like, remember? Is it like 10 minutes or an hour?

[Baron]

Either way, it'll be through this combat.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, it. It lasts.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah.

[Gunther]

Okay.

[Doug Boone]

But once you use it, it's done.

[Baron]

Yeah. You get up there and. Yeah, you're able to. Since, you know, he had already been working on one of the leather restraints, you're able to pretty quickly help him with the other ones and get him free. Gunther. And it lasts for guns last for a minute, which is 10 rounds. That's plenty.

[Gunther]

Okay.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay. That's what I knew. There's a 10. It was like the rounds. That's what it was.

[Gunther]

Okay. And how much movement do I have? Can I, like, try and take Private Parts with me? Pull them away.

[Baron]

Your walking speed's 25. It probably only took you 10 to get here. So we'll say you have another 15 if you want.

[Gunther]

Yeah. Can I try and pull private parts along with me? I know I'm a lot smaller.

[Baron]

To where?

[Gunther]

To the exit. Whatever is the path of least visibility from the Baron.

[Baron]

Make me a wisdom check, Gunther.

[Gunther]

Okay, I rolled a seven.

[Baron]

All right.

[Gunther]

I'm gonna use that insta. That help die guidance. Yeah. Sets a four becomes an 11.

[Baron]

Oh, nice.

[Tove]

Oh, thank Kevin.

[Gunther]

Oh, thank Doug.

[Baron]

You remember that the door you entered from the south said entrance only.

[Gunther]

Oh, okay. Well then we're gonna try and discreetly go to the other door. I don't know if that like thing that was holding up private parts. It was big enough where we can sneak around it without being seen.

[Baron]

It won't cover you the entire way to the door, but you'll be able to get to the door. You have enough movement to actually get to that door to the west.

[Gunther]

Okay, well then I'll get to there. Can I open it?

[Baron]

Yeah, you open it. And in front of you is that passageway you were in before that dead ended in the door that said not enter.

[Gunther]

Oh, cool. Gunther goes, wiggles his hands in the air and gestures like I picture like.

[Baron]

Kermit the Frog with his arms up, Shaking his arms.

[Doug Boone]

And you're pointing to the.

[Gunther]

To the exit with private parts. I assume cutting off the things was my action, right?

[Baron]

Let's say that was a bonus then.

[Gunther]

I want to attempt to dodge in case I get any attacks.

[Baron]

Okay.

[Gunther]

Or we don't hide. We're gonna.

[Doug Boone]

He's getting a dodge.

[Tove]

Yeah, typically I get you get the hell out of Dodge.

[Baron]

You're gonna hide.

[Gunther]

No, I'll hide. I'll dodge. I'll dodge. I'll dodge in case I get any incoming attacks.

[Baron]

Okay.

[Gunther]

I've never used dodge before.

[Natty Wonder]

It's pretty good. Matib used it.

[Gunther]

Private parts. Do not worry, we're here.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, thank you, Gunther.

[Gunther]

The baron did terrible things.

[Natty Wonder]

I'm so glad you're here.

[Gunther]

Remember, for your report.

[Baron]

He pulls out his tablet and begins writing down.

[Gunther]

Not right now. Focus on escaping.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Baron]

So when you take the dodge action, you focus entirely on avoiding attacks. So install the. Until the start of your next turn, any attack roll made against you has disadvantage. And you make dexterity, saving throws with advantage. Okay, cool. Is that it for you?

[Gunther]

Yes.

[Baron]

Yeah.

[Natty Wonder]

All right, it's your turn, guys.

[Baron]

It's private parts turn. Yeah, because he's free. Yeah, he's free. He'll say, okay, Gunther, I've got your back. And he like, puts a hand reassuringly on your. On your shoulder.

[Gunther]

Thank you.

[Baron]

I don't know if you all remember this.

[Natty Wonder]

He's advantage.

[Baron]

Yeah, he's kind of a support character. He's. He's helping you out.

[Gunther]

Gotcha.

[Tove]

Gunther accidentally dodges the hand.

[Baron]

All right, we're back up to the top. Natty, it's your turn.

[Natty Wonder]

I think Natty just would want to continue to berate the Baron with attacks in order to secure our retreat.

[Baron]

Okay. Don't forget, the Baron also, like, dropped her weapon, and it's like, clattering down near the south of the room.

[Natty Wonder]

Gigi goes for the axe.

[Doug Boone]

I was gonna say, you gotta.

[Natty Wonder]

And I don't think I got a roll for that. That's not me telling them to do something. That's just in Giggy's nature.

[Baron]

Yeah. Something shiny and sharp. Yes, please.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, yeah. Can Gigi manage the axe? Like, can Gigi wield it?

[Baron]

Does Gigi have strength? Like, have a strength score?

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah.

[Baron]

What is it?

[Tove]

20?

[Natty Wonder]

Strength is.

[Gunther]

Do not judge. One for being small.

[Natty Wonder]

It's not good. His neck. Negative 3. Oh, gosh.

[Baron]

I would say. What is that, like a 4? A 5?

[Natty Wonder]

5.

[Baron]

I would say he's able to pick up the handle, but the metal axe head drags on the ground.

[Tove]

That is adorable.

[Natty Wonder]

So, yeah, I'm gonna keep playing this in world. If Gigi were to grab the axe and try to drag it towards the Baron, what would that result in? Gustavo.

[Baron]

I'm. I mean, he could. I would say he's able to drag it and how far is it? Yeah, there's. He would be able to get to the Baron.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay. Gigi's going to attempt a swing with the axe on the Baron. What would happen?

[Baron]

Yeah, I'd make you. Oh, man. I would probably make you make an attack roll at disadvantage just because it's heavy.

[Natty Wonder]

For Gigi, an attack roll with any modifier.

[Baron]

Roll a D20 twice and let's see where it ends up.

[Natty Wonder]

That was a 19.

[Tove]

Nice.

[Natty Wonder]

That was a 19 as well.

[Baron]

Okay.

[Natty Wonder]

219. Wow.

[Baron]

So it hits. Yeah. I would say Gigi is, like, dragging it and then, like, does a full 360 spin and bring, like, he has enough, like, angular momentum where the axe head comes up off the ground and hits the Baron right in the left ankle.

[Gunther]

Like, throw the hammer throw.

[Tove]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Natty Wonder]

The baby's got an axe.

[Baron]

And wouldn't you know it? The Baron does not have armor on her left ankle.

[Natty Wonder]

What's the. On that ax? What's the damage?

[Baron]

Oh, I gotta look that up, don't I? Yes.

[Tove]

61.

[Baron]

The damage on that.

[Tove]

Ooh.

[Natty Wonder]

I want this to be overpowered so badly.

[Doug Boone]

Is this, like, she. She's like Achilles, and her heel is, like, super sensitive.

[Tove]

Yeah. Lops off her leg.

[Baron]

Okay, roll me D12 damage. D12 plus one.

[Natty Wonder]

How do you roll a D12? Oh, I have a D12. It's this little pentagon, like, shaped edges. One. I put the dice up to the mic as though, like, the dice was gonna. Five.

[Baron]

Is that with the plus one?

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, six.

[Baron]

Yeah. So Gigi swings it around, doing six points of damage to the Baron's ankle. The Baron howls and Fury.

[Natty Wonder]

Natty just starts tearing up. It's like they grow up so fast. First they're walking, and then they're using their first ax on a bad person. Oh, makes me almost forget to use an eldritch blast. That's 13 plus. Oh, wait, you said 12 got hit. Yeah, that's 13 modifier.

[Baron]

John.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah.

[Gunther]

Where you're shooting this eldritch blast, is it gonna knock him towards where we're trying to escape?

[Natty Wonder]

No.

[Baron]

Okay. No, it should continue knocking them north. Yeah.

[Gunther]

Gotcha.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah. Okay.

[Baron]

Eldritch blurst after Natty is duck, by the way.

[Doug Boone]

Okay.

[Natty Wonder]

D10. That's a 9. So 9 plus 3. 12 plus the necrotic damage. 3. So 15 plus the 3 extra 18 plus 10ft, push back.

[Baron]

Okay. At this point, she's pretty much pushed back up against that northern wall in the room, and she takes 18 points of damage. Despite the fact you're hitting her with the eldritch blast, she's looking angrily at Gigi and her axe. Or the axe.

[Natty Wonder]

Done.

[Baron]

That's it for Natty. Doug, you're up. Then.

[Doug Boone]

Tove, I have a metagame question. So for magical tinkering, one of the things I could do is have something emit an odor, and if there's something that I've smelled in the past, am I able to recreate that odor?

[Natty Wonder]

You're gonna recreate the thing that the priest put on us?

[Doug Boone]

Perhaps.

[Natty Wonder]

I feel like if it says you get to emit an odor, as long as you know the odor, you can emit it.

[Tove]

Is this an organic thing or is this, like, a spell? Like you have a magic colon or something, or.

[Natty Wonder]

No, it's like the tinkering. The tinkering. Kind of like what she did to your axe or hammer.

[Tove]

Cool.

[Baron]

I'd say. Sure. Why not?

[Doug Boone]

Yeah. Okay. I just want to test something. Yeah.

[Baron]

By the way, I should say before you do anything, Barbara, that the baron seems to be bleeding quite a bit and heaving like she's starting to have trouble standing up.

[Natty Wonder]

I know this might sound a little hypocritical, but I think we should try and not kill her.

[Tove]

Character development.

[Natty Wonder]

Well, I wanted to do this with the Magistrate, but some unknown God named Vistago made his killer, no matter killed the magistrate. Him no matter what. So I'd like to question this person and figure out what the Pathfinder is.

[Private Parts]

Okay. Well, then maybe I will try this then, instead of trying to really knock her out.

[Natty Wonder]

My understanding is, as long as you say you're doing an attack with the intent of not kill, you do that.

[Baron]

Correct? Yeah. Okay.

[Natty Wonder]

So that's all you got to do.

[Baron]

It's like non lethal damage is what we used to call it. I don't know if that's still the term.

[Doug Boone]

Okay, then I'm gonna attempt to just shoot my crossbow with the intent of not doing lethal damage.

[Baron]

Sure.

[Doug Boone]

To be very clear, on her other ankle.

[Natty Wonder]

Geeky doesn't know how to do that ever.

[Baron]

The idea is like, for example, if you were swinging a sword, instead of swinging and hitting with the sharp part of the blade, you hit with the flat of the blade. Things like that.

[Doug Boone]

Okay.

[Baron]

Shooting a crossbow, I assume you're going for a fleshy part and not a vital. The neck.

[Doug Boone]

I'm going for the other ankle so that maybe it'll hinder her ability to move. Move or walk or anything like that.

[Baron]

All right, go ahead and roll that.

[Doug Boone]

Cue my crossbow. Did an 18.

[Baron]

That hits.

[Tove]

My goodness.

[Doug Boone]

And that would be doing five points of piercing damage right into the little tendon.

[Tove]

Ooh.

[Baron]

Ouch. Yeah. You hit the Baron in the other ankle. Yeah. She drops to her knees and looks at you angrily shaking her fist, Doug.

[Private Parts]

Not so powerful now, are you, Baron? I mean, unless you take offense from that and want to retaliate. I didn't mean it.

[Natty Wonder]

He was almost bold for a moment. Just for a moment.

[Tove]

Spending on business. Wow.

[Doug Boone]

His anxiety got the better of him.

[Baron]

Yeah.

[Natty Wonder]

So when you say the Baron is now down, are they incapacitated or still fighting?

[Baron]

Still. Still fighting.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay.

[Baron]

Is that it for you, Doug?

[Doug Boone]

And then I'm gonna move closer to where Gunther was indicating the exit to the west.

[Baron]

You would be able to get all the way there if you wanted to.

[Doug Boone]

Okay, I'm not leaving the room, but I'm going all the way to that.

[Baron]

To the door.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah.

[Baron]

Okay. All right. I assume that's it for you, Doug. Yes, Toll, you are up with a very injured baron just a few feet in front of you.

[Tove]

Okay, I'm gonna get my warhammer. But the Non lethal side of my warhammer, which is just the other side.

[Baron]

Of my warhammer handle.

[Tove]

And I'm gonna attack with that non lethal one handed. Oh, that's an 11.

[Baron]

You're not. You're not quite proficient, I guess, swinging the warhammer with the. The stick side. So you miss when you're trying to hit her.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, I sure do, don't I?

[Tove]

Storm aura. You get a 10 foot or effect when you start a rage. And as a bonus action on each of your turns, when activated, one creature of your choice, your aura takes lightning damage.

[Natty Wonder]

Do it.

[Tove]

So I'm gonna do that instead.

[Doug Boone]

Instead not to kill Pikachu.

[Tove]

Yeah, I'm just gonna do a Pikachu.

[Gunther]

It could be like resuscitating lightning if. If it came to it.

[Tove]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, when you die, I'll. I'll remember that.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gunther]

It kills. It kills the baron and then brings him back to life.

[Tove]

Yeah. This is also non lethal.

[Baron]

All right, go for it. Oh, I gotta make a Dexterity saving throw five.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, what's the five? What? What's the roll of the five? Is that damage?

[Tove]

That's damage. DC13 half damage on success rolled a.

[Baron]

Two, so that's a failure.

[Tove]

Woohoo. You rolled like poop number two, so.

[Baron]

That'S five points of damage.

[Tove]

Yeah, non lethal, of course.

[Baron]

Your storm aura activates. Lightning flashes out, striking the baron and she falls face forward to the ground.

[Tove]

Guys, I think we did it. Private bars. Did you see that cool thing we just did?

[Baron]

We're here to rescue you from behind, Gunther. You see like a thumbs up emerge.

[Natty Wonder]

That's very good. That's very good.

[Gunther]

We shall make them not attack us. The thing that was tied up, that had private parts tied up. Is there a way we could put the baroness in it?

[Natty Wonder]

What's the noun?

[Baron]

The item? What was it called?

[Gunther]

It was like a. Like a box. A table. A table. I'm looking at Barbara. She's motioning. It looks like a table.

[Baron]

So you can use a table to tie the baron up.

[Tove]

Can I help? Chris, do you need help?

[Gunther]

No, no, no. We got charades going on. It's a strapping mummy kit.

[Baron]

Yes, a mummy kit.

[Doug Boone]

It's just leather straps. With a. Leather straps.

[Baron]

You even said strapping, strapping mummy kit.

[Gunther]

I know, I know we cut the straps, but can we, you know, use rope or something or anything else to tie up the baron? Hurt.

[Baron]

Sean's head is in his hands.

[Tove]

Yes, sweating.

[Baron]

Let's. He's pulling his best private parts impression.

[Natty Wonder]

I just want to remind everybody that as of right now, his primary job is to talk into a mic.

[Baron]

All right. Yeah. You managed to incapacitate the baron and you tie her up and restrain her. And so I know your aim is to kind of interrogate here. So what's the first question you all want to ask the baron?

[Gunther]

Why are we fighting each other?

[Baron]

The baron looks at Gunther, opens her mouth and says, find out. Next week on the next episode of Chance Evil.

[Doug Boone]

She's gonna wait a whole week to tell us, man.

[Baron]

Well, I mean, that's, that's meta game wise. In game, it's like instant. But, you know, tune in and find out.

[Gunther]

Technically, two weeks I'm just imagining like the. The visual in my mind is this humanoid and we're in this cave and all of a sudden it like turns and morphs into exactly your face, Gus. And says.

[Baron]

We Woo wee woo. New merch alert. The Council of Barbarians and the Stinky Dragon Spring Collection have [e-mail] dragonpod.com get extra stinky this season with a castle, barbarians tee, new vibe, check hat, prestidigitation tea, and more. All profits go towards paying for healthcare, dog toys, and maybe if there's leftover some uncrustables. New episodes of Tales from Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever you stream podcasts and on The Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want to the show 48 hours early and ad free? Become a [e-mail] or become a member of Beacon at Beacon TV. Both memberships support this show and receive access to our exclusive bonus series, Second Win and a member only Discord for their respective platforms. Become a patron, you get access to even more exclusive bonus content, the Stingrain community, Discord events, and you might even get your name shouted out like Big Matt. Gabriella Oticalsois. That's Gabriella, by the way. Brian Roelka, FICO IKO3878 I want to talk to you about my score and Caitlin Elizabeth. These patrons directly support the show and get ad free episodes. Access to our Patreon only Discord server bonus content like Second Wind and Behind the Screen and much more. In fact, here's a quick peek from behind the screen.

[Doug Boone]

What were your thoughts going into creating your first D and D character?

[Tove]

So going in, this is take. Take me back, will you? Pre Pandemic, pre all of that stuff. I remember going into this, not super excited because fantasy is not my thing.

[Natty Wonder]

He wants his wizards in space. Dang it.

[Tove]

Even when it comes to Star wars, the Jedi stuff isn't the thing that interests me the most, it's always the smugglers and the bounty hunters and the.

[Natty Wonder]

Space faring people and the. The hot Ewoks.

[Tove]

Yes.

[Natty Wonder]

Super hot.

[Tove]

So I wanted to make a character that was like. It subverted all of the expectations of a fantasy setting. And I was like, I'm literally going to make a cyborg, and his name will be Cyborg.

[Doug Boone]

Is there anything you wish you changed or anything you wish you knew better?

[Tove]

Dude, I hate to say it, and I hate how in character this is.

[Natty Wonder]

I know what you're going to say.

[Tove]

I wouldn't change a thing. Can't find a single regret. Kyborg was like, exactly like. Even when there was moments where I was like, ah, you know, maybe I could have done this in the moment. Two episodes later was like, I'm so glad I did that thing.

[Natty Wonder]

Michelangelo, he looked at the marble and he saw the statue. That's right.

[Doug Boone]

Perfect, chiseled.

[Tove]

Chip had a lot of regrets on how I played him from a character perspective. Love him.

[Natty Wonder]

You're roguing.

[Tove]

I have a bunch of notes on Chip, but, like, Cyborg, love him.

[Baron]

No notes again, that's stinky. Dragonpod.com we can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this show. Listeners who interacted with us on the Stinky Dragon, discord. Discord had NPCs named after them in this episode, like Preacher Reggie, named after Daytons, voiced by Jo lee@low GS on Instagram. And Twitch, the Baron, named after Shield Maiden, voiced by Hannah McCarthy at. Hi. Hello, Hannah. And additionally Private Parts, voiced by Ben Ernst at Halcyonben. This week's hour question was submitted by Ztami. Is that the French Tommy? Z. Tommy. This episode of tells when the Sticky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst and written, edited and composed by Michael Reisinger, with additional editing work by Katherine R. Arnold. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

[Private Parts]

All right, here's Doug's on the ones and twos with our special guest for this episode, Gustavo Cerola.

[Baron]

Seriously? I know it's been said before. Longtime listener, listen every week.

[Private Parts]

Oh, wow. What an honor. Thank you, Dungeon Master. Listen, how do you think. You think today's going?

[Baron]

I think it's going good. I think we had some good interactions with Reggie. I'm very happy that. Doug, you identified the spatula of Searing. I wasn't sure if y'all were gonna find that.

[Private Parts]

Well, you know, just Gustavo, since it's just you and Miho and no one else is listening. You can tell me what that other broken piece is, right?

[Baron]

You got your eyes peeled. I have faith in you, Doug, that you'll find either the missing piece or you'll find something that you repair this with.

[Private Parts]

All right, well, thank you, Gustavo. Coming up next on the show, we got someone calling in. They think that their long lost brother may be dead. More on that after the break. Just kidding. Let's not include that because that is too close to home.

[Baron]

Doug. So dark.

[Private Parts]

Well, thank you for joining me on mornings with Doug. Also afternoons with Doug.

[Baron]

Yeah, afternoons with Doug.

[Natty Wonder]

Today, Private Boone, I need to talk to you about trying to bribe an official for information.

[Private Parts]

Private parts.

[Natty Wonder]

We can discuss this offline.

[Private Parts]

Where are you? Tell. Tell us where you are. It's the only clue we'll ever have.

[Natty Wonder]

Leave your message at the end of the beep.

[Private Parts]

I somehow called.

[Doug Boone]

Called Private Posh's phone.

[Tove]

V.

[Baron]

Geico makes it easy to get affordable renters insurance in as little as 90 seconds. That way you have more energy for harder things like the laundry. Why is it so difficult to fold clothes? They just end up wrinkly anyway. Or on the floor in a pile that just sits there taunting you. But with renter's insurance through Geico, at least you know that those clothes and the other things you love are covered. Get more with Geico.