C03 - Ep. 14 - Brig of Endridge Bay - Tall Pub Crawl Fall

Summary

Tales from the Stinky Dragon

Episode C03 - Ep. 14: Brig of Endridge Bay - Tall Pub Crawl Fall

Release Date: April 2, 2025
Host/Author: Stinky Dragon
Type: Actual-play D&D Comedy Podcast

---

Episode Overview

In Episode 14 of Tales from the Stinky Dragon, titled "Brig of Endridge Bay - Tall Pub Crawl Fall," listeners are taken deeper into the whimsical and chaotic adventures of four friends navigating the treacherous yet humorous landscapes of a Dungeons & Dragons universe. This episode is packed with character development, strategic combat, and hilarious interactions, all orchestrated by their ever-patient Dungeon Master, Gustavo Cerola.

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Leveling Up and Character Development

Unexpected Level Surges

The episode kicks off with the players discussing the Carvana Value Tracker, setting a light-hearted tone before seamlessly transitioning into their D&D campaign. The Dungeon Master, Gustavo, surprises the group with the news that each character has leveled up by two levels since the last episode.

Notable Quote:

Gustavo: "Since the last episode, you guys have leveled up two levels. In lieu of a typical arrow, I'm going to hit you with two level ups."
[02:21]

Character Upgrades

Each player explains how their character has evolved:

• Gunther (Chris Damaris): Gains the ability to attack twice per turn and acquires the Piercing Feat, enhancing his combat efficiency.

  Quote:

  Gunther: "I didn't know that when you go to battle, you could just stab twice."
  [04:32]

• Blaine (Private Parts): Develops telepathic abilities after reading a mystical book, allowing him to communicate silently with allies.

  Quote:

  Private Parts: "So I've been reading this book about how to make friends, and I realized it had special abilities... now I'm telepathic."
  [13:52]

• Natty Wonder (Natty): Enhances her warlock powers, gaining Sentinel and Halt, which allow her to protect her allies and control the battlefield.

  Quote:

  Natty: "I can now create a 10-foot aura that deals lightning damage and halts enemies."
  [80:15]

• Tolv (Tolv): Acquires the Animate Dead spell, enabling him to summon undead servants to aid in combat.

  Quote:

  Tolv: "With this spell, I can animate the dead to help us in battle."
  [24:00]

---

The Encounter: Arrival at Endridge Bay

Promotion and Reward

The group, now promoted to Private First Class (PFC), embarks on their mission to Endridge Bay. They receive a message from Sergeant Steel Eye, informing them of their promotion and rewarding each member with 10 gold pieces.

Quote:

Doug: "Everyone, you get 10 gold pieces each."
[26:19]

Stormy Arrival

As the adventurers reach Endridge Bay, they are immediately caught in an intense storm with hazardous floods flooding the streets. By chance, they discover a towering, weather-beaten building labeled "High Three," which resembles a lighthouse with multiple stories.

Quote:

Doug: "The waterlogged tower stands tall and narrow like a lighthouse... now all they have to do is find their contact."
[26:23]

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Combat in the Brig of Endridge Bay

Trap Door and Initial Skirmish

Upon entering "High Three," the party is ambushed by an elderly man who forcefully ushers them inside, triggering a trap door that sends them plunging 30 feet into a dark underground arena filled with battling pirates and their captain.

Quote:

Doug: "As you cross the threshold, a deluge of water pours inside... drop down 30ft."
[27:16]

Understanding the Arena

The players assess their surroundings, noticing the interior's dim lighting, coral stools, and a chaotic battle among five pirates and their captain. They prepare for combat, rolling initiatives to determine the order of actions.

Quote:

Doug: "There are five pirates and a pirate captain all attacking each other... Roll initiative."
[27:31]

Strategic Combat Turns

• Gustavo's Role: He, as the Dungeon Master, narrates the unfolding battle, guiding the players through their actions and resolving combat mechanics.

• Player Actions:

  • Natty's Aggressive Strategy: Leveraging her newfound abilities, Natty aggressively attacks the nearest pirate, successfully landing critical hits and utilizing her Storm Aura to deal area damage.

    Quote:

    Natty: "I'm gonna crush the closest guy with my warhammer."
    [39:24]

  • Gunther's Tenacity: Gunther engages with the pirate captain, utilizing his Piercer Feat to increase damage potential and applying intimidation to demoralize his opponent.

    Quote:

    Gunther: "I love how opportunity attacks work... better luck next time."
    [48:14]

  • Blaine's Telepathy: Utilizing his telepathic abilities, Blaine communicates silently with the party to coordinate attacks and strategies without alerting their enemies.

    Quote:

    Blaine (Private Parts): "You can use telepathic utterances to communicate without spoken words."
    [15:18]

  • Tolv's Undead Summons: Tolv casts Animate Dead to summon a zombie from the fallen pirate captain, turning the tide of battle by adding an undead ally to their side.

    Quote:

    Tolv: "I cast animate dead on the Captain."
    [85:08]

Climactic Battle Resolution

Through coordinated efforts, the party manages to defeat the pirate captain, leading to the collapse of the skirmish within the arena. However, the appearance of a new, menacing figure—Captain Jarl Ironclad—sets the stage for future conflicts.

Quote:

Doug: "You turn to face the figure and lock eyes with none other than Captain Jarl Ironclad."
[89:07]

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Character Interactions and Humor

Throughout the episode, the players interject humor and camaraderie, enhancing the comedic aspect of the podcast:

• Tolv's Light-Hearted Banter:

  Quote:

  Tolv: "I've been negligent in teaching Gigi to his full potential... aiming for Lord of the Apocalypse someday."
  [21:28]

• Natty's Witticisms:

  Quote:

  Natty: "You can get a Doug children's book now... it's more than just basic tips."
  [07:53]

• Doug's Enthusiasm:

  Quote:

  Doug: "It's like a Princess Bride sword fight here!"
  [69:02]

---

Conclusion and Cliffhanger

As the episode draws to a close, the adventurers find themselves victorious yet confronted by Captain Jarl Ironclad, a formidable foe wielding a mace spiked with shark teeth. The encounter ends on a suspenseful note, promising intense battles and deeper storylines in future episodes.

Quote:

Doug: "You turn to face the figure and lock eyes with none other than Captain Jarl Ironclad. Find out what happens with that in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon."
[89:45]

---

Final Thoughts

Episode 14 masterfully blends comedic elements with strategic gameplay, ensuring listeners are both entertained and engaged. The character advancements and dynamic interactions set the stage for more epic and humorous adventures in the Tales from the Stinky Dragon series.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Gustavo: "Since the last episode, you guys have leveled up two levels."
  [02:21]

• Gunther: "I didn't know that when you go to battle, you could just stab twice."
  [04:32]

• Private Parts: "Now I'm telepathic."
  [13:52]

• Natty: "I can create a 10-foot aura that deals lightning damage and halts enemies."
  [80:15]

• Tolv: "With this spell, I can animate the dead to help us in battle."
  [24:00]

• Doug: "You turn to face the figure and lock eyes with none other than Captain Jarl Ironclad."
  [89:07]

---

This detailed summary encapsulates the essence of Episode 14, highlighting key moments, character developments, and the comedic undertones that make Tales from the Stinky Dragon a beloved podcast among D&D enthusiasts and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Tolv]

Hey, Kristen, how's it tracking with Carvana Value Tracker?

[Doug]

What else? Oh, it's tracking, in fact. Value surge alert.

[Natty]

Trucks up 2.5%, vans down 1.7.

[Tolv]

Just as predicted.

[Doug]

Mm.

[Natty]

So we gonna. I don't know.

[Doug]

Could sell. Could hold the power to always know our car's worth.

[Tolv]

Exhilarating, isn't it?

[Natty]

Tracking Always know your car's worth with Carvana value tracker.

[Gustavo]

McDonald's meets the Minecraft universe with one of six collectibles and your choice of a Big Mac or 10 piece McNuggets with spicy nether Flame sauce. Now available with a Minecraft movie meal.

[Doug]

At participating McDonald's for a limited time.

[Gunther]

A Minecraft movie only in theaters.

[Doug]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile.

[Tolv]

I don't know if you knew this.

[Doug]

But anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assist switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail].

[Tolv]

Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full [e-mail].

[Natty]

Fate is a funny thing. It's not a game of chance like rolling dice on a.

[Tolv]

Nor does it follow after us regardless of our choices.

[Natty]

But fate will find all those who.

[Tolv]

Don'T act at all. Our four friends are running out of time. Destiny will soon knock at the door. Are they ready to answer the call?

[Gustavo]

What?

[Doug]

Ring, ring. Everyone, hello. It's your dungeon master, Gustavo Cerola. And I'm calling and I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. Wait, wait. I don't have an arrow. You guys, since the last episode have leveled up two levels. So in lieu of a typical arrow, I'm going to hit you with two level ups. And I want each of you to explain to me how your character developed their new capabilities in world. Have you been training? Learning? What have you been doing? What's happened that allowed you to gain access to these. These new things? The floor recognizes Ms. Dunkleman.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

What did he mean by running out of time? We're only.

[Private Parts]

We're 14 episodes. What? We're running out of what?

[Doug]

We started this recording like 10 minutes late. We're like really behind schedule. I'd appreciate it if we stay on topic.

[Gustavo]

It's true.

[Natty]

We did.

[Gustavo]

We did.

[Doug]

So yeah, I can take Volunteers. Or I can call on the class.

[Tolv]

Should we roll?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

You can roll.

[Doug]

Oh, you can roll. Yeah. Yeah. Chris, give yourself an inspiration. Die for raising your hand. I appreciate that.

[Gunther]

Oh, my goodness. Today's wonderful.

[Natty]

What is it? Christmas?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I rose my hand before Chris, but it was for something else.

[Natty]

Yeah, we're used to you having normal lines of communication. Chris, on the other hand, this Pavlovian dog, we want him.

[Tolv]

I rolled a 2.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I rolled an 11.

[Natty]

13.

[Gunther]

15.

[Gustavo]

Oh, all right.

[Natty]

See the good karma that comes from raising your hand.

[Doug]

So I believe a 15 was the highest, so go for it.

[Gunther]

Hello, I am Chris Damaris, and I'm playing Gunther, the level five.

[Doug]

Chris.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Joking. Level five?

[Gunther]

Yeah. Crow folk frog. And give me one second. I thought it was soft. I was Mr. Barbecue Sauce. I was talking with Doug, and Doug said that the brain is the most powerful organ in the entire body. And I said, that is. How is that possible when I work so strong to be strong? And then. And yet. And so I started thinking about that, and I slept on it. And in my sleep, I began to train, using my mind in my sleep. And I trained every night while I slept, using my mind. And then today, when I awoke, I learned that I came stronger. Not only am I stronger in that whenever I stab, I can make a Pierce more, but also now I stab twice.

[Doug]

Oh, I believe if you ask Doug, he would say that's twice as good. I don't want to speak for him.

[Private Parts]

Well, you know, like, one times two is two, so. Yeah, that's twice one. That's correct, Gustavo. Very good. It's voice and die for guys.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Gunther]

I did not know that it was that when you go to battle, you could just stab twice. I had not thought of it.

[Doug]

Well, luckily, you slept a lot, and you're able to figure it out.

[Gunther]

So thank you, Doug, for teaching me how strong my brain can be.

[Tolv]

Barb, doing math as an adult in her 30s sounds a lot like me trying to help my children with math.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I feel like there's a similar dynamic here with Doug and Gunther.

[Tolv]

It often ends in me going, let's Google this.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I think that's one of the main reasons I could never have kids is because I couldn't. I could be of no help for their homework.

[Tolv]

I mean, that's where, like, Google and just the Internet in general, just because. Oh, okay. That's what the equation is for this.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah.

[Tolv]

I've got a freshman in high school now. So there.

[Gustavo]

She's.

[Tolv]

She's into echelons of math that I'm like, I haven't utilized that in a while.

[Doug]

I think all we do on this podcast is C squared is equal to A squared plus B squared.

[Tolv]

Yeah, yeah, got that down. Got that down. Pythagorean theorem. We should have that on a shirt for us.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

D and D. So Gunther, you.

[Gustavo]

You can attack twice, which is very cool. What like did you gain any strength or stealth or any charisma? Perhaps you need a little bit of that.

[Gunther]

No, I did not grow stronger with muscle, but I grew faster and more dexterious.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Terrius y'all.

[Tolv]

I think Gunther just fell off a cliff.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Text area.

[Gunther]

Meta wise, I get two attacks now and then I also got the piercing feat.

[Natty]

Oh, that's what you're trying to say.

[Tolv]

You can pierce feet. I thought you could pierce all kinds of stuff.

[Private Parts]

That's a thick part of the skin. Not much really. Hood to really get like a whole toasting to do.

[Gunther]

Not because it. Dude, that's the skinny part where I with the. The web toes.

[Doug]

Oh, it's true.

[Gunther]

But yeah, piercing feet ability score increases increases my dexterity by one and I get puncture once per turn. When you hit a creature with an attack that deals piercing damage, you can re roll one of the attacks damage die and you must use the new roll and then enhance critical. When you scored critical hit that deals piercing damage to a creature, you can roll one of the additional damage die when determining the extra piercing damage that the target takes.

[Doug]

So for example, I just want to make sure I'm clear on how that works exactly. You have a rapier that is a piercing weapon that you use and the damage die on that is 1d8 plus 7. So if you crit, typically you roll 2 die and normally we give one of them at maximum. So you would get 8 plus 1d8 plus 7. But with this you get 8 plus 2d8 plus 7. Is that correct?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah, that feels. That's a lot powerful.

[Gunther]

Well, that's when you crit. So it's like a 1 in 20.

[Natty]

But.

[Gunther]

Oh, oh, but now I have a 1 in 10 chance. 1 in 10 chance of it happening when I attack.

[Private Parts]

You know, on a D20 that's there's 20 different numbers on one die. So if you hit a 20, that is one out of 20. So that is correct. Thank you. Question.

[Doug]

She did the math or he did the math. But yeah, that's potentially up to 31 points of damage. That's pretty good.

[Natty]

Also, Doug Boone math book available now in the the Steven Dragon store.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah, it's just the most simplistic Equations.

[Natty]

I bet we could do that.

[Doug]

Yeah, yeah, like a Doug children's book. Is that it for you, Gunther?

[Gunther]

Yeah, well, and then the double attacks was the other level. So two attacks per turn.

[Doug]

It's pretty good. So double the chance of rolling a 20.

[Natty]

Yeah, double the fun.

[Doug]

All right, cool. Thanks Chris. Slash Gunther. Who was next? I think someone had a 12 if I remember it. Let me pull it up.

[Natty]

13.

[Doug]

13.

[Gustavo]

Look at the voice back. Yoo hoo. It's me, Blaine. I'm pulling being played.

[Natty]

I'm gonna take that from the top.

[Doug]

Hey, it's Blaine.

[Natty]

I'm playing 12.

[Tolv]

Yoo hoo.

[Gustavo]

Okay, I'm stepping in type I. Tag me in, coach. Okay, so I upgraded. I have new things that I can do. Okay. I don't want to brag, ok, but I have this thing called Sentinel, everyone. Yeah, yeah. So like my ability score. I'm like much more dexterous like Gunther. Or as he said, Dex dexterious. Yeah. And I have this thing like where I. I basically I'm like the dude from the bridge scene in Spider Man 3 where like he says if you mess with one of us, you mess with all of us. So like say that we're in a fight and someone's within five feet of you guys and then they attack you and I'm there also within five feet, I get an opportunity of attack. Oh, so that's cool. And then I can also make people, you know, like fall down. Like their. Their speed becomes zero, you know, from opportunity attacks. That's pretty cool. It's called halt. So I'll just say hold. Who goes there?

[Private Parts]

How do you get all that stuff?

[Gustavo]

You know? You know, it's good that you should ask that dog, because you can learn a lot of things when people aren't throw arrows at you all at the time. You know, when you finally get some rest and you don't have, you know, Colonel Boy or Sergeant Steel Eye yelling at your. Your face. You know, you can. You can do a lot of things when you just relax. We just take a deep breath.

[Private Parts]

Oh, did you do some like meditation or something?

[Gustavo]

I did so much meditation, Doug. It was great. I went. I found a waterfall and I stared at it. A tree and I stared at it.

[Private Parts]

Was it the tallest waterfall on the whole earth?

[Gustavo]

Yeah, Severin, season two. And then I found a frog and I stared at it, but then it was Gunther, so I just kept staring at Gunther.

[Gunther]

Yeah, I stirred back.

[Gustavo]

What?

[Gunther]

I stared back.

[Gustavo]

Yeah. Yeah, we just kind of stared at each other. Yeah.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

It turns out Gunther was just sleeping but because he's like. His eyes just kind of look open.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Natty]

I didn't forget we needed to say.

[Gustavo]

Why, how we got it.

[Natty]

I wanted to set up the thing about throwing arrows and stuff. So anyways, that's pretty much it, though. I just. I have an extra attack. My dexterity score went up, and I have this thing called Sentinel, which gives me Guardian and halt. So if you guys get in a fight and I'm there with you guys and then they attack you, I'm basically trying to get the person to attack me as the barbarian. Like they should be attacking me and not you guys. So I think that'll be fun once we get into combat.

[Gunther]

Yeah.

[Doug]

Can I dig into Guardian a little bit here? I want to make sure I understand it correctly because I'm reading it right here. So if a creature within five feet of you takes disengage or hits someone else besides you with an attack, you immediately make an opportunity attack against that creature. And if you hit any creature with an opportunity attack, that creature speed becomes zero. So it stops moving. It can't move away anymore.

[Tolv]

Yeah.

[Natty]

So it's like once people are trapped.

[Gustavo]

Up against me, they're going nowhere. Like Spider Man 1. I've got you in the cage for five minutes. Sorry, I just watched the trilogy. Classic.

[Doug]

Oh, and just to clarify further, because you know, I love rules. It gives you an opportunity attack, and an opportunity attack is a reaction. So you still only get one per turn because it's still a reaction. If four people were around you trying to attack, you would only get to attack one of them as an opportunity.

[Gustavo]

I'm glad you clarified that now because you. I almost got egg on my face the next encounter. Oh, I would have gotten so angry.

[Doug]

Oh, yeah. Just. Just pointed out there. I think this is fresh on my. I was listening to one of the infinite second winds where I say, I wish I had called that out. I let someone get away with too many opportunity attacks, Chris. And I just want, now that I know a lot more, I want to be more cognizant of it.

[Gunther]

Well, you know, it's good to forgive.

[Doug]

And forget and forget that ever happened. And if you would like to listen to those Infinite Second Wind episodes, those are available now over@stinky dragonpod.com recorded second wind for every infinite episode and they're available to patrons. So go check it out@stinky dragonpod.com Excellent time. 86 episodes.

[Gunther]

It's so many.

[Doug]

Took a long time.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Everyone worked equally hard on them.

[Doug]

Everyone did different things on them.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Me, Barbara, the non editor of the group. I helped in other ways that I tried.

[Natty]

You did great.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

You guys did great job.

[Doug]

Is that it for you, Tolf?

[Gustavo]

Yeah, I can't think of any Spider man quotes. Go ahead. Who's next?

[Doug]

Okay, I believe Doug is up. Doug, if you want to step up to the ones and the twos.

[Private Parts]

Oh, Doug's on the ones and the twos. That equals threes. What's up, guys? Here for episode 14, back on a new campaign. Well, apparently we are running out of time. What could it mean?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I. I'm Barbara Duckelman. I play Doug Boone, the bugbear. Artificer, Battlesmith. Artificer. To be more precise. Level five in the flesh.

[Gustavo]

Yo.

[Private Parts]

I know, like over the course of the last couple of days, you know, I have a big stack of books in my pack with me that I like to read sometimes. And there's one book in there that I've kind of been putting off just because I don't want anyone to see me reading it because it's a little embarrassing.

[Doug]

Oh.

[Private Parts]

But it's called accidentally popular how to make friends. And so I've been reading this book about how to make friends now that, you know, I feel like there actually might be a chance that I could be making friends right now with the group. And I opened the book and started reading it and realized that it had kind of like special abilities in heal. It's more than just basic tips on how to make friends. And I read on this one thing called telepathic abilities. And so after studying it for a couple days, I'm now telepathic.

[Doug]

Really? Whoa.

[Private Parts]

Yeah. I learned it really quick.

[Tolv]

Yeah.

[Private Parts]

Because, you know, brain is the most strongest organ as gun.

[Doug]

Quick.

[Gustavo]

What movie am I thinking about now?

[Private Parts]

Star Wars.

[Gustavo]

Oh, Spider Man. A little bit more there, dog.

[Private Parts]

I heard the S. The S was coming through.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I feel like it was a 5050.

[Private Parts]

Chance with any other movie in Star Wars. So pretty close.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

And so metagaming. I now have the telepathic feat. My ability score also increased. I. I chose wisdom to increase on that. So I have another wisdom point. So I have telepathic utterance. You could speak telepathically to any creature you could see within 60ft of yourself. Your telepathic utterances are in a language you know, and the creature understands you only if it knows that language. The creature cannot respond to you telepathically with this feat.

[Doug]

So it's one way communication.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yes. I also have with this detect thoughts. You always have detect thoughts prepared. Once prolonged rest, you could cast it Without a spell slot or spell components. You could also cast it using spell slots you have of the appropriate level. Your spell casting ability for the spell is the ability increased by this feat.

[Natty]

This is like the first time we've had a telepath on the team. I think.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I think so. I think I've had detect thoughts before, maybe with Bart, but yeah, I thought it could come in handy.

[Natty]

So is there a range limit on.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

The 60ft for telepathic? It's 60ft. But detect thoughts, it doesn't seem to have a range.

[Doug]

30Ft.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

30Ft. Okay.

[Natty]

Oh, okay. Is that something that over time it upgrades like it changes, gets more powerful or anything like that Possible. It's cool.

[Doug]

Yeah. So detect thoughts allows you to activate one of two effects. You can either sense thoughts, so you can sense the presence of thoughts within 30ft of you. They belong to a creature that knows languages. Or telepathic. You don't read the thoughts, but you know a thinking creature is there. Or you can read thoughts and you target a creature you can see within 30ft or a creature within 30ft of you that you detect it. With sense thoughts, you learn what is most on the target's mind. Right. Now, if the target doesn't know any languages or isn't telepathic, you learn nothing.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

The target has to be telepathic for me to be able to detect thoughts.

[Doug]

So it's. If it doesn't know any languages and isn't telepathic. So if it knows languages but it's not telepathic, you're okay.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Okay. Okay.

[Doug]

The and is doing a lot of junctioning and heavy lifting.

[Tolv]

There's.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

That's the one thing Barbara couldn't wrap her mind around. But I understood you.

[Tolv]

You couldn't do that with like an automaton or something. Is that what it's like differentiating?

[Doug]

I think it would be like if a target doesn't know language and isn't telepathic, it might be like an animal.

[Natty]

Gambot might know language.

[Doug]

Sorry, Gunther. A deer. Something like that.

[Gunther]

A plant.

[Tolv]

Right, Gotcha.

[Doug]

Cool. Cool.

[Private Parts]

That's all for me. Spend a lot of time on it. I'm really proud. It was honestly, you know, partially because I wanted to help. But also it'd be cool to be able to communicate with Gambot a little better.

[Doug]

Interesting.

[Private Parts]

Because he doesn't speak.

[Tolv]

What the book say about making friends though.

[Private Parts]

I don't know if I want to tell you because it said to be open and be a good listener and always care about what other people's are going through.

[Doug]

So is being a good listener encompassed by listen to people's thoughts that they have privately listening.

[Private Parts]

I was trying to get around it with some people. You are correct, by the way.

[Gunther]

Currently we are going through K's a lot.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yes, very good observation.

[Doug]

All right, thanks, Doug. I believe we have one person left.

[Tolv]

Well, technically we got two, because I. I run with a. With a party. Party of the little. The little perfect demon that I have. Hi, everybody. John Resing here, who plays Natty Wonder, the Level 5 Drow Warlock Pact of the chain. Specifically, I think I might have said the beginning of the campaign, but I'll say it again. So if people are curious, that's why I have Gigi. So much has been happening in the world of Natty, and I'm so glad I get to share with y'all. First of all, one of the things my mama. Well, both my mamas would say this almost in unison. It's kind of creepy. But they would say, you know, natty, do you know how you get to Fantasy Carnegie Hall? And I'd say, how? And they say, practice, practice, practice. And I have been practicing my craft. And through that practice, I have become an even better performer. I know that's shocking. I'll wait for your guys paws to deal with that. Okay, drink it in. I'm even better at it. I can change my visage at will as much as I want. Now it's not even just Natty. Now I can turn and look like almost anybody.

[Private Parts]

Now you do one. Now prove it.

[Tolv]

I turn into Sergeant Steel Eye.

[Doug]

Oh, no, don't look.

[Private Parts]

Let's chase you out.

[Tolv]

And on top of that, I can sound like him, too. Listen.

[Doug]

Wow. We'll add it in post.

[Tolv]

I was just waiting for you guys to throw in something.

[Doug]

Yeah, at first I was like. Like, who does Steel Eye? Oh, wait, that's me.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

How can you forget?

[Natty]

Guys, say something sassy. Starting to see, like, go on, do it.

[Doug]

Giggy, put that down.

[Tolv]

Next time. This is. This is Steel Eye.

[Doug]

Next time we're at camp, I want you guys to look at my buns because I've been working on it real hard doing squats and stuff. And they're not just for squatting. They're for looking. So look.

[Private Parts]

Well, it's. If he does insist.

[Tolv]

So that's going on with me. I did get also recently another little message from my wife. And she decided that, you know, it is obviously a hard task to be raising Giggy kind of all on my lonesome. Most the time she's busy with her stuff. I'm busy. My stuff. This is how we work. But she thought I needed some help, so she said, you know, she's like, hey, next time you see one of them dead things, you can make it your. Your little helper for Gigi. And so now I can animate dead. It's pretty cool.

[Doug]

A playmate for Giggy.

[Tolv]

Yeah, he needs. He needs all the help he can get. He loves Gambot already, but he needs someone. I need another pair of eyes because I swear that. That little kid, he gets faster and faster each day.

[Private Parts]

Let me check on something for you. Gambot also likes Gigi. I just detected those eyes, but I didn't. I did not use the spell slot. That was.

[Tolv]

So. Yeah, that. That is also a big help. And. Oh, Gigi. Gigi's also. I realized that I've just been neglecting on raising Gigi to his full potential, teaching all the lessons I could and making sure that he is on his path to becoming the Lord of the Apocalypse someday, because I want him to achieve his dreams. Okay, okay.

[Doug]

Okay.

[Tolv]

And so. So Gigi is. Now, you guys are going to notice this throughout our little adventures as our little. Our little party that I need. I'm going to be taking some time to teach Gigi lessons. And hopefully, as I teach him lessons, he'll get stronger or better or, you know, he'll kind of learn something and kind of grow as the little fiend that he is.

[Doug]

That's adorable.

[Tolv]

That one I will talk about Metawise. Micah came up with a function to kind of teach Gigi lessons. What did he call it?

[Doug]

He called it life lessons with Gigi.

[Tolv]

Petagic method, but I think it's pedagogy, so it's pedagogic method. And it is. I can once per long rest. I can try to teach Gigi a lesson depending on the difficulty of the. The lesson determines the dice roll. I have to do with a wisdom check. If he succeeds or if I succeed, he learns the lesson and gets a little new thing. Could be like temp HP or an ability score modifier, stuff like that. If I fail, he. I can take another chance at that before the next long rest. So now Gigi is even more of a party member for us.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Wow.

[Tolv]

Okay. And for those curious, Metawise as well. I took the actor feat that increased my charisma modifier, gave me impersonation and mimicry abilities, and I changed my couple of my invocations, which I learned you could do with each level of warlock. I got rid of repelling Blast. And instead took mask of many faces, which is disguised self at will, which just means I can use disguise self as much as I want, whenever I want. And then I added undying servitude, which lets me cast animate the dead once per long rest.

[Private Parts]

Man, you guys learned a lot.

[Natty]

Yeah. Is that like. You know how sometimes there's some people where if they have a long rest, they can change out abilities? Is that that or.

[Tolv]

No, it's. It's each level I can change my invocation, which. I have three invocations now I got a new invocation. And so I. I changed two of them because we level twice. And then. God, I hope I'm sounding correct on what I'm supposed to be doing. I. I look this up. And then also when you level up, you can swap out some spells. And so I swapped out some spells and just getting rid of ones I was never using and added some. A couple that I'm like, this might be helpful.

[Doug]

You don't have to wait for a long rest to teach Gigi. It's one per short rest.

[Tolv]

Short rest. Sorry, I was going off of the cuff, but yeah, so we're going to be teaching Gigi lessons.

[Doug]

Everyone took a feat.

[Tolv]

Yeah, I took a feat that also increased my charisma, so I kind of got both.

[Private Parts]

Yeah, my.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

My feet came with. I guess it's only one point ability score improvement. But. But I was like, I'd rather get a feat and, like, get closer to a potential, like, increase on that.

[Gustavo]

My feet came with toenails.

[Doug]

I'm gonna start calling you guys Quentin Tarantino.

[Tolv]

Oh, that's a good one for free.

[Gunther]

We love feet, Gus.

[Natty]

I wanna. I just want to say I didn't take Lucky. Huh?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh, I noticed you proud.

[Doug]

Interesting. Yeah, it's a. It's. It's some growth.

[Natty]

It's for the sake of the audience so that they could have some difference. And it's not just Blaine building the same character over and over again.

[Gunther]

It was challenged because as a fighter and you having played a fighter, there are a lot of, like, common feats. But I was like, man, I don't want to. I don't want to have the same catchphrases as Kyborg, where it's like, gifted the dramatic dragon, you know, there's only one Kaiborg.

[Tolv]

Oh, we also, I guess, sort of upgraded Gigi to like a 2024 D D Quasit. Not much changed except for his attack is now rend instead of. I think it was bite.

[Doug]

Previously it was bite. Yeah.

[Tolv]

Yeah. I Think that's about it.

[Doug]

Yeah. And to that point, like, we're starting to mix in a little bit of 2024 stuff. And lucky is different in 2024 versus, you know, fifth edition, which we were using before.

[Natty]

So why do you think I didn't take it?

[Doug]

We're beginning that process. So if you hear some hybrid things or some mishmash.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah, that's why I also imagine all of our HP increased as well.

[Tolv]

Yes, yes.

[Private Parts]

Doug did a couple little curls with the books. With the books.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Doug]

I would love to see Doug reading like that, like a weighted book. And you're like doing curls as you're reading a book.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

He's doing two at the. At a time reading two books.

[Doug]

Oh, that sounds awful. Trying to read two books. Anyway, when we last saw B team, they were arriving at the stormy shores of Endridge Bay. While taking a brief breather, the four soldiers received a missive via Raven, a message from none other than Sergeant Steel Eye. Based on private parts initial assessments, Steel Eye saw fit to promote B team to private first class or PFC. And with the promotion, each soldier received 10 gold pieces. So everyone, you get 10 gold pieces each.

[Gustavo]

Yay.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

We are private first class now.

[Doug]

Private first class.

[Gustavo]

So we like, like the same as you, but private parts.

[Doug]

Affirmative.

[Gunther]

Cool.

[Private Parts]

Hey.

[Gustavo]

Oh, look at us. I give him a salute.

[Doug]

He salutes back.

[Private Parts]

They affirmative.

[Gustavo]

Affirmative. It feels weird. I gotta work on that one.

[Doug]

B team then ventured into Endrich Bay proper, but were soaked straight away by an incessant storm and hazardous floods that were swamping the streets. It's kind of like Austin the past couple couple days. Signage was rare and locals even fewer. But by sheer luck, they stumbled upon a towering building. A weather beaten sign swayed violently over the door. The high three. The waterlogged tower stands tall and narrow like a lighthouse with at least three flights of stairs. Now all they have to do is find their contact fismum. But who takes the first step inside?

[Gunther]

I'll go step inside. I don't want it to be in the rain.

[Doug]

Gunther steps inside, and as you cross the threshold, a deluge of water pours inside across the floor, an elderly man yells, hurry along ye sturge rats. Get inside and close the door.

[Gustavo]

Aye aye.

[Doug]

The elderly man stands behind a bar shuffling cards. He has a chiseled face and wears a pointed hat made of possum fur.

[Tolv]

A pointed hat made of possum fur?

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

The sign, you said it said high three. Is that H I G? H?

[Doug]

Correct.

[Gustavo]

What happened to the other two? I'm used to high fives myself. Doug, can you do the math on that? Run the numbers. Go ahead, Doug.

[Private Parts]

Five minus two is three. So that's high three. That's what would be the confusion of a high five. But also, there is only one guy in here, so you could also be asking, where's the other two? Oh, true double entendre.

[Doug]

As you walk in, you see that this building has a compact floor plan with multiple stories. It's dimly torchlit with a weathered shiplap architecture. There's coral stools that slide on the flooded floor, and an elderly human stands behind a bar. There's a small seafood menu, an ascending spiral staircase, and an iron banded wooden door to the south, which is the entrance that you are walking in.

[Gunther]

Can we walk up to the barkeep or whatever?

[Gustavo]

Okay, sounds like a setup for a joke. You know, like an orc, a frog, a bug, bear, a mom walking to a bar, you know?

[Doug]

So does everyone walk in?

[Tolv]

Is that my species? Is my species, mom?

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

The hardest job in the world.

[Gustavo]

I'm a level eight mom.

[Gunther]

Yeah. Yeah. We can walk up.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Natty]

I walk in.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I would go in as well.

[Natty]

Yes.

[Doug]

And I assume close the door. And did you say you walk up to the bar, Gunther or Chris or just walk in?

[Gunther]

I was gonna walk up to him.

[Doug]

Yeah. He's standing behind the bar shuffling some cards.

[Gunther]

Hi, I'm Gunther.

[Doug]

What are you after? You all walk in and close the door. He seems to not really particularly look in your direction anymore and instead focuses on his cards.

[Gunther]

Good. Good to hear. Yes. Did you know of a Fizz Mum?

[Doug]

Aye, you're here for the fighting match, eh? Well, why didn't you say so? And he pulls the lever behind the bar, which opens up a trap door beneath your feet. And you all drop down 30ft.

[Gunther]

Gunther, do we have a chance to. I guess we just fall.

[Doug]

Yeah, you fall.

[Gustavo]

Good talking with you.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

You sign up for something, forget about it after the trial period ends, and then you're charged month after month after month. The subscriptions are there, but you're not using them. In fact, I just learned that 85% of people have at least one paid subscription going unused each month. Thanks to Rocket Money, I could see all my subscriptions in one place and cancel the ones I'm not using anymore. And now I'm saving more money. Guys, I love rocket money. I've been using them for a while now, and it's been so helpful for me to be able to see everything I'm spending right at a glance, all in one place. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Also, Rocket Money's dashboard gives you a clear view of your expenses across all of your accounts. You could also get alerts if bills increase in price, if there's an unusual spending activity, and more. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year. When using all of the app's premium features, cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com Stinky Dragon today that's RocketMoney.com Stinky Dragon RocketMoney.com Stinky Dragon this.

[Doug]

Episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon is brought to you by Shopify. When you think about businesses that are selling through the roof, like aloe or Allbirds or Skims, sure, think about a great product, cool brand, brilliant marketing. But an often overlooked secret is actually the business behind the business that makes selling and for shoppers, buying simple. And for millions of businesses, that business is Shopify. Nobody does selling better than Shopify. It's home of the number one checkout on the planet, and the not so secret secret was Shop Pay. That boosts conversions up to 50%, meaning way less carts going abandoned and way more sales going. So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web or in your store, in their feed, and everywhere in between. Businesses that sell more sell with Shopify, upgrade your business and get the same checkout that allbirds and skims use. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com that's all lowercase. Go to shopify.comdragon to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com dragon this episode is brought to you by Lifelock. It's tax season, and we're all a bit tired of numbers, but here's one you need to hear. $16.5 billion. That's how much the IRS flagged for possible identity fraud last year. Now here's a good number. 100 million. That's how many data points Lifelock monitors every second. If your identity is stolen, they'll fix it. Guaranteed. Save up to 40% your first [e-mail] podcast terms apply. When you reach the bottom, you fall about 30ft. You stand up and look around. You're an atoric torchlit underground. There's a high ceiling that seems to be leaking with water. There's a sand floor around you, a spiked wooden fence that surrounds a rectangular arena with a crowd sitting on all sides. There's two egresses. Appears to be a door to the north and an ascending staircase to the south.

[Tolv]

Are we in the cage or outside the cage?

[Doug]

You are in the cage.

[Tolv]

We're in the bad part.

[Gustavo]

All right, boss, what do we do.

[Natty]

To looks at Doug?

[Gustavo]

Because you're the boss.

[Private Parts]

Still, somehow, I think it's bad news beows to be in this cage, so we should scramble out of here. Here, let me. Let me try to help you out of here.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

And Doug tries to pick up Gunther first to try to, like, help pop him out of the cage. Is there a ceiling?

[Tolv]

Does the cage have a ceiling?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Because how would we have fallen in then?

[Tolv]

Oh, it's a good call.

[Doug]

Yeah. Doug, I'll tell you what. Roll me a perception check.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

18.

[Doug]

You bend down to start picking your friends up, and you look around, and you realize that there is a. A battle raging all around you. There appear to be five pirates and a pirate captain all attacking each other. And so far, at this moment, it does not seem like they notice you yet.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I'm imagining for some reason, when you said, like, there's a fight going around amongst us, I'm imagining one of those cages that has the motorcycles driving on the edges of it, just going around and around.

[Gunther]

So five pirates and a pirate captain all fighting each other. Are they just a free for all brawl? Does it look like or does it seem like there's any teams or groupings?

[Doug]

That's an excellent question. I'll answer that. Then we'll go ahead and roll initiative.

[Tolv]

Oh.

[Doug]

It appears that there may be sides in this battle that it's not truly a free for all with everyone going at it. So why doesn't everyone go and roll me Initiative.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I like how this happens. As Doug is holding Gunther up.

[Tolv]

18.

[Gunther]

I rolled a 7.

[Gustavo]

22.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

13.

[Gustavo]

Would it be out of line for me to ask if I recognize any of these pirates?

[Doug]

We can definitely deal with that here in a moment. I just got to get these initiatives in order.

[Gustavo]

Okay, I'll wait. This reminds me of home.

[Doug]

You know, I rolled three 12s for initiatives of how weird.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Three 12s?

[Private Parts]

Wow.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Out of six?

[Private Parts]

Right?

[Doug]

Out of five.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

They said there was five Pirates and a captain.

[Doug]

Oh, you're right. I forgot to roll for the captain then. Thank you. You get an extra enemy.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I thought you're gonna say inspiration. My mouse started hovering over the heroic inspiration, I was like.

[Natty]

And then it hovered back over to the damage to enter in a number.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

You get it? Extra enemy.

[Gunther]

Private parts is here with us too, right?

[Doug]

Yes. He rolled a three, so you got plenty of time before he does anything.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Great.

[Doug]

Okay, Tolf, you rolled a 22, and you were asking if you recognize any of the faction. What was your question?

[Tolv]

Pirates.

[Natty]

If I recognize specifically any of the.

[Gustavo]

Pirates, or, like, could we just recognize this place? You know, just any of it. It's all very nautical, and I'm a bit of a seaman myself, you know? Don't laugh, Chris. You curl that lip back and you stop giggling. It's a perfectly normal word.

[Doug]

I'll tell you what to. Why don't you roll me a history check and see how good that brain of yours is working?

[Gustavo]

Oh, okay.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

How good that brain of yours is working?

[Gustavo]

Ooh, a minus 1 9. God, poop.

[Natty]

It's not worth my inspiration die, is it?

[Doug]

N. You tell me.

[Gustavo]

Well, I'm trying to, like, outrun my history, so maybe it's okay if I.

[Natty]

Mess this one up.

[Doug]

All right, now, something maybe you got a little bit of sand in your eye and you're kind of focused on thinking about your new abilities. Nothing really stands out to you. You can tell they are beings of the sea and they spend time on ships and they're actively engaged in combat at the moment, but nothing really specific beyond that.

[Natty]

I'm sorry to drag it out further. Can I recognize, like, what species they are or any of that stuff?

[Doug]

Yeah, sure. Why not?

[Tolv]

Any moms?

[Gustavo]

Any moms? High level moms.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

You could tell because they're the ones working the hardest. Am I right?

[Doug]

It just appears to be a mishmash of various humanoids. Human, elf, dwarf. Just humanoids. We'll leave it at that.

[Natty]

Okay, cool.

[Doug]

But anyway, Tol, the reason I. One of the reasons I addressed your question so quickly is you are at the top of the initiative order with.

[Gustavo]

A 22, you know, rules of engagement. None of them have attacked us yet. So, hey, gang, I'm gonna go the peaceful route. We're gonna see how this goes.

[Natty]

I take some movement towards the group.

[Gustavo]

Of pirates and I say, guys, whoa, whoa. What are we fighting here? Over. Oh, what's going on? Let's. Let's cool our jets, am I right?

[Private Parts]

Okay, I don't know if they know what jets are.

[Gustavo]

Jets haven't been invented, have they?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Let's cool our rudders, am I right?

[Natty]

There you go.

[Doug]

Probably not. That would be. Why don't you make me a let's think. Let's call it a persuasion check. Toll.

[Gustavo]

Okay. You know, I'm good on persuasion. Oh, looky there. A4. I'm gonna.

[Natty]

I'm gonna actually use my inspo on that one. I. I think it's worth it because I feel that so badly. I feel like they would just turn and attack me, all five of them at once. All right, here you go.

[Gustavo]

That's more like it. 15.

[Doug]

Okay, let me roll. Just a quick opposing check here. See if they listen to you. And I rolled it too. Oh, yeah. The clamor amongst the pirates in here begins to kind of die down. And they all turn and look at you. They're still very much on guard in making sure that no one's gonna get a quick attack in on them. But they do turn and look at you. And as they look at you, you begin to hear booing from all around.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Boo.

[Gustavo]

Boo.

[Doug]

Fight.

[Tolv]

Fight.

[Doug]

Fight. Fight.

[Tolv]

This is a junior high.

[Gustavo]

We're in some sort of fight club gang.

[Tolv]

Don't talk about it.

[Gustavo]

Oh. First rule. Of course.

[Gunther]

What are we fighting for?

[Gustavo]

You know what? What the heck? Let's give the people what they want.

[Natty]

I'm gonna crush the closest guy with.

[Gustavo]

My hammer, you know.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh, my God.

[Doug]

All right, fine. I'm gonna give you advantage on this. This since you trick them into putting their guard down with you for. For a moment. So go make an attack with advantage.

[Natty]

Okay, I'm gonna do one handed.

[Private Parts]

Just don't kill the mom because I have a shield.

[Gustavo]

That's. Oh, baby.

[Natty]

That's a nat 20.

[Tolv]

Wow. Open salvo.

[Natty]

And I'm gonna do my attack. And that's with the.

[Tolv]

Who are you attacking?

[Natty]

Just the closest dude.

[Tolv]

So one of the sailors, not the captain.

[Doug]

Yeah, I was gonna roll to. To pick one at random. Great.

[Natty]

That's fine.

[Doug]

Since you didn't specify at this point.

[Natty]

It honestly doesn't matter.

[Gustavo]

And to doesn't recognize rank. He only recognizes strength.

[Doug]

Love it.

[Gunther]

I love how you're like, why are we fighting each other?

[Doug]

Beat Smash.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I get angry when people don't listen to my questions.

[Gustavo]

It's the surrounding, it's the environment. It reminds me of my olden days on the sigh seas.

[Gunther]

Did you rage?

[Natty]

That's a bonus action, right?

[Gunther]

Yeah.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Natty]

Can I do that before I seem.

[Doug]

To remember you saying you raged. I'm not sure if it's just me. I'm pretty sure you did.

[Gustavo]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I did.

[Doug]

By the way, I rolled a D6 since there's six enemies and rolled a four. So I went. What I decided to do is go down the Initiative order that they rolled in. And the fourth person in the Initiative Order on their side is the Pirate Captain.

[Gustavo]

Yep.

[Doug]

So you got. You got the Captain.

[Tolv]

Okay, well, that's what they say when you get in prison, find the biggest guy and give him a good old clocking.

[Gustavo]

Natty, I have to ask how you know this information? Where have you been?

[Tolv]

Natty, I've lived a long and full life.

[Gustavo]

We need to talk about that later. I'm very curious.

[Private Parts]

Also, teacher Mom. Mom knows a lot. Mom knows everything.

[Tolv]

Yeah, I won't lie. Giggy's been to the clink.

[Private Parts]

We know.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

We know what?

[Doug]

How much damage was that toll?

[Natty]

It says a 14. It was two D8 plus four. But I know that one of those is maximum because there's a crit.

[Doug]

Yeah. So we'll go ahead and change that. So it's 14. So it's actually 18 points of damage plus your rage.

[Natty]

Oh, yeah. Plus two melee damage with strength weapons. So let's call that a 20.

[Doug]

20 points of damage. The account. Yeah. The Council of Barbarians coming in hot today.

[Gunther]

I think you forgot your age.

[Gustavo]

Councilwoman Elga, any thoughts?

[Private Parts]

Sorry, I'm on the toilet right now.

[Gustavo]

I'm so sorry. Councilwoman Elga, please return to your business.

[Tolv]

It's like yesterday I was getting ready for a shower. I had disrobed everything. I was about to turn the water on and I heard a knock on the door.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh, no.

[Tolv]

Normally I would just let it go, you know, like they just leave it. But I knew I was getting delivered some I had to sign. So I threw on clothes and a hat faster than I have in my entire life. So I was like, you know, like when you're like, don't leave, don't leave. I want to rushed over there just.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

With pants and a shirt, just.

[Tolv]

I threw on shorts, a shirt and a hat and I just went. Signed it and got it.

[Doug]

You start making as much noise as you can inside so they know that you're coming to the door.

[Gunther]

Throw something at the door.

[Tolv]

Throw something at the door. I knew I had some time because usually they have to write their little note, you know, So I was like, all right.

[Doug]

Yeah. I mean. Devastating 20 point attack by Tolv. Devastating 20 point sneak attack by a barbarian by Tolv on the Pirate Captain.

[Tolv]

Fake out.

[Gustavo]

You know, I'm an interesting dude. What can I say? How does he look after that?

[Doug]

That was significant. The Pirate Captain is still looking like. Like he has fight in him. But you definitely Took a little bit of it out.

[Gustavo]

Let's find out how much fight he really has in him. I do. My second attack. Here we go.

[Doug]

I forgot we got these second attacks now.

[Gustavo]

We have fun here. I'm gonna do another with the Warhammer.

[Doug]

Warhammer Reckless.

[Gustavo]

That's a. Oh, my God. I rolled a 19 plus 7. 26.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

You're gonna say another 20.

[Doug]

Let me double check. Yeah, that hits.

[Natty]

Okay, so Chris, to address that, I don't super like attacking recklessly because I don't want the. The thing to be back on me. What is it the advantage or whatever then?

[Doug]

The advantage on you?

[Tolv]

Yeah, yeah.

[Natty]

26.

[Doug]

26 hits. Yeah.

[Tolv]

Does that hit?

[Doug]

Yeah, yeah. Okay, I double checked. I'll triple check. Yeah, it hits.

[Natty]

I'm doing that fun thing that you do where you know it hits, but I'm like, that's a 50 billion. Is that hit Plane. All right, Rolling damage.

[Gustavo]

Oh, come on.

[Natty]

Rolled a one plus five plus the additional two. So that would be seven.

[Doug]

Seven points of damage. Not quite as big. Maybe this. This time the captain knows your moves and is able to absorb the blow a little bit. And he smiles as he takes that hit from your Warhammer toll and says, arg.

[Gunther]

Rage in the cage.

[Natty]

This is what the people want.

[Gustavo]

Cool. I'm liking this.

[Doug]

Anything else from you there to.

[Natty]

Nope, I'm good.

[Doug]

All right, great. Round by to there. Natty, you're up. After Natty, we got a couple pirates. A lot of pirates. And then Doug.

[Tolv]

All right, Natty turns to Gigi, and this isn't actually. I'm not going to like roll my thing for thing, but I just turns into Gigi and she goes, all right, today's lessons are all going to be about how to win a cage fight. It's very important for everyone to learn how to do this. You never know when it comes up. Okay, Natty surveys the pirates with Tolv next to the captain. What's the gathering of them? Is it like a big old scrum of them all together? Are there a couple of pockets of fights happening between people? What's the spread? Paint me a picture, Gustavo.

[Doug]

We'll say it's 1v1 and 2v2.

[Tolv]

Okay. And then is tolv the 1v1 or tolv is.

[Doug]

That's just them. Tolve is by one of the two V2s.

[Tolv]

By the two V2. Okay then, yeah, why not? Let's do something new for funsies. Is the 1v1 further than 15ft from Tolv?

[Doug]

I'm gonna guess no. Let me double check. No.

[Tolv]

Oh, wow. So they really are all scrummed together.

[Doug]

They were all kind of scrummed up. Despite the fact the cage is pretty big. They were all kind of scrummed up together.

[Tolv]

Okay, well, I don't want to do what I was gonna do because it would hurt my good friend Tolv.

[Doug]

I'll tell you what, let's just stand this. Yeah, it's. They're more than 15ft away.

[Tolv]

Because I could have done an eldritch blast. You know I love to pull that trigger.

[Doug]

They're definitely more than 15ft away.

[Tolv]

Natty turns to Giggy one more time and goes. All right, first lesson. Listen, Mommy's gonna show you a little piece of where other mommy comes from, okay? Natty Cass Mote of Hell.

[Gustavo]

Okay.

[Natty]

Jeez, What a name.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

That is the best name for a spell ever.

[Tolv]

Can you guess why my eye was drawn to that spell when I was looking through the spellbook?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

You mean the person who's married to death?

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Tolv]

It's fantastic.

[Natty]

It sounds like a wmd, but fantasy version.

[Tolv]

The description is also just choice. You manifest a pocket of hell, a 15 foot radius sphere of darkness, brimstone and blasting heat appears on centered on a point within range and lasting for the duration. The cloud of hellfire echoes with the cries of damned souls that can be heard by creatures within 30ft of it. No light, even magical light, can illuminate the cloud. And any creature fully within that area are blinded.

[Natty]

Cheery.

[Doug]

What is this? I've never heard of this.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I've never heard of this either.

[Gunther]

Wait, do you create darkness?

[Tolv]

It mimics darkness, so the guys that are in it are now blinded because light can't escape. It doesn't end there, by the way. This is a third level spell slot. So I'm burning a big thing. The cloud warps the time scape, making the clouds area difficult terrain. A creature who starts their turn in that area takes 3D6 fire damage. There is no check. A creature who ends their turn in that area must succeed on a wisdom saving throw or take 3d6 psychic damage. As the voices of the damned crowd their mind.

[Doug]

Wow. I get the feeling that brutal Natty's about to throw mankind off the top of the cage through an announcer's table.

[Gunther]

Yeah.

[Tolv]

Is mankind a wrestler?

[Doug]

It's like a copy pasta copy pasta meme.

[Tolv]

Okay.

[Doug]

Someone will get it. Someone listening to this podcast laughed at that.

[Tolv]

I wasn't allowed to watch wrestling because it's too violent when I was young and now I don't care about it. 3d6. Although I wish I did. People who seem to like wrestling really like it.

[Doug]

They're really into it.

[Tolv]

3, 3, 6, 12 fire damage.

[Doug]

Okay. And this is on the 1v1.

[Tolv]

Those hombres. Yeah.

[Doug]

All right. They will take that fire damage at the start of their turn.

[Tolv]

Okay. Yeah. And then so they're blinded and it's on difficult terrain. And then can Gigi go.

[Doug]

Yeah, I'm just making a note here that they're blinded.

[Gunther]

They're blinded. So if someone else enters that 15 foot radius, are they also blinded like it is?

[Tolv]

You are just looking at a 15 foot sphere of just hell and that's all you can see.

[Gunther]

If they leave it, can they see.

[Tolv]

When they leave it? They. Yeah, it's that specifically light can't enter or escape. It's like a black hole.

[Gunther]

Gotcha.

[Tolv]

And then Gigi go help Uncle Tove. And can Gigi traverse force to Tov and attack the captain?

[Doug]

Yeah, if Giggy makes the appropriate roll.

[Natty]

God, I was hoping Gus would forget that he just attacks holes.

[Doug]

It's my favorite part of Gigi. Because normally, and just to clarify, because I think some people have talked about this in the comments. Normally, I think with this kind of character that John's playing, either John gets to go or Giggy gets to go. But we're kind of bending the rules a little bit just because I like the chaos that Giggy brings. Because, like, I don't want to penalize John in case the roles don't go our, you know, his way, but because I want to kind of encourage Gigi getting in there and causing some chaos. So we do allow Giggy and Natty both to go.

[Tolv]

He also can't do much. Yeah, he ain't gonna do nothing. I rolled a one. So what's he gonna do, Gus?

[Doug]

He's gonna do something. He's gonna. He's gonna help Uncle Toval, right?

[Tolv]

Oh, no.

[Doug]

Like a low roll would have been. Okay, a one. One. He's gotta go after told. Now he's gotta. He's gotta misunderstand the assignment with a one.

[Tolv]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Gustavo]

Love your familiar. Wow.

[Tolv]

Gigi runs up and I'm gonna. I'm gonna roll a dice to decide between these two options.

[Doug]

Okay, hold on, hold on. Before you roll that die, I. I have something I want to clarify from an earlier episode. Now, does Gigi still have that axe?

[Gustavo]

Oh, yeah. What are you doing? What are we doing here?

[Tolv]

He does. He does. Because I want him to still have that axe.

[Doug]

Right.

[Tolv]

Okay, then. He's going to use the axe.

[Doug]

But again, going off of precedent, he attacks with disadvantage with that axe because it's too big for him.

[Tolv]

All right, he has a plus five to attack. And I rolled two bad rolls, so you're good. I rolled a five and a three.

[Gustavo]

Oh, thank God.

[Tolv]

So that's 10 and eight.

[Doug]

So say like, Giggy kind of runs up to to and begins doing that thing again where it's like a hammer throw in the Olympics where he sucks to spinning around.

[Gustavo]

Yeah.

[Doug]

Getting the axe up off the ground and tries to swing it at To's ankle but just misses entirely. And I like your picture. He like kind of fall. Giggy falls down on his little butt just sitting there with the axe.

[Gustavo]

It's okay.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Like squeaky sound effect when that happens.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Gigi.

[Gustavo]

Has uncle to ever told you the story of Hoofer from Campaign 2?

[Tolv]

Gigi just smiles and looks for acknowledgment of his good deed.

[Doug]

So good. Is that it for. That's it for you, Natty and Kiki.

[Natty]

All right, Wait before your turn.

[Gustavo]

INS told says two moms enter, one mom leaves.

[Doug]

Oh, love it. And I was wrong, Doug. Only one pirate goes before you. The rest of them are after you. I forgot you rolled a 13. They rolled 12. But one of them goes now. But it's one of them that is blinded, currently in the mode of hell. And they take that fire damage now. So they can still move even though they're blinded. Right. And so they can try difficult terrain.

[Tolv]

That's it.

[Doug]

So if it's difficult terrain and it's a 15 foot radius on the moat, so they could at worst case scenario exit the moat. But that uses all of their movement.

[Tolv]

If that's their movement speed.

[Doug]

Yeah, yeah. So the movement would be 30. Difficult terrain would half it. So they would have 15 movement, which is the radius. So they would. Even if they were in the middle, they'd be able to get out. So. So I'll say this one stumbles out from the mode of hell, looking a little pale, maybe horrified by the things it experienced inside of there and says, ARR, let's not be doing that again.

[Natty]

That was traumatizing.

[Tolv]

I be rethinking my lot in life and decisions.

[Gustavo]

Urgh.

[Natty]

Need to send a parrot to my therapist.

[Tolv]

I'm going to be doing some community service.

[Natty]

Balance the karmic scales.

[Doug]

Oh, what'll it do? So it comes out, it's used all of its movement. It's gonna throw a dagger. Yeah, it'll throw a dagger at to because to was really duplicitous, had everyone put their guard down and then attack the captain.

[Tolv]

It's true.

[Doug]

Yeah. So it's gonna toss a dagger at at toll. This is with a plus five. Seven. I assume that's a miss.

[Gustavo]

I'm sorry, little guy, that's a miss. But better luck next time.

[Doug]

He doesn't like the fact you're taunting him.

[Gustavo]

I'm not taunting. I'm genuinely sorry. You know, I've been in a fight before and missed my throw or what have you.

[Doug]

And he raises an eyebrow at you.

[Gustavo]

Tolf, you want to take another attack? Would that make you feel better? You just saw some pretty nasty stuff.

[Doug]

Make me a wisdom saving throw.

[Gustavo]

Okay.

[Natty]

Wisdom saving throw. That's an eight.

[Doug]

There's something about that, that charismatic raised eyebrow that just kind of tickles you the right way. Toll can toll featured.

[Natty]

I don't see any resistances against it. There's this thing called magical sleep that I have resistance to.

[Doug]

Yeah. Maybe this pirate's not so bad after all. Maybe you've been approaching this combat wrong the whole time.

[Natty]

Can you describe him to me? What he looks like? Any features of this pirate that stand out?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I mean, if you're going to be attracted to him, you know, you want to know what he looks like?

[Doug]

Got an eye patch missing the left canine teeth.

[Natty]

Great.

[Gustavo]

That's enough for me. Hey guys, I think we need to let Patchy join in, huh? I mean, come on, look at him. That's a trustworthy guy.

[Gunther]

You're like when I stare into his eye.

[Doug]

So when you are charmed, you cannot attack the Charmer or target the Charmer with any damaging abilities or magical effects. And the Charmer has advantage on any ability check to interact with you socially. So you can still attack the other ones. Just this one. You cannot.

[Natty]

I marked down Charmed as a condition.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

But only against that one pirate.

[Doug]

Right?

[Natty]

This captain's gotta die.

[Gustavo]

Unfortunately.

[Doug]

Doug, you are up. Then a couple of pirates than Gunther.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Okay, I think Doug could tell that we are outnumbered. He did the math. Of course. He is going to get his steel defender out here.

[Private Parts]

Okay, Gambot is your time to shine and shine because you are made of metal and you are reflective.

[Gustavo]

So.

[Doug]

Yeah. Did you just, I guess in your downtime, maybe give Gambot a little polish?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Of course, yes.

[Natty]

Does the crowd go wild for Gambot?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

The crowd goes mild.

[Doug]

You hear cheering.

[Tolv]

Yay.

[Doug]

Fight.

[Private Parts]

Clang.

[Tolv]

Cling.

[Private Parts]

Clang, clang, cling, cling.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

So he brings out a steel defender. So I think, does he then act after me.

[Doug]

Same initiative as you, but just right after you.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Okay, so then that means it would be his turn to go now. That was my action.

[Doug]

We'll call it for now your bonus action to pull out Campod.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I love it.

[Doug]

Let's have fun.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

So generous. So I think because also, Doug sees everyone fighting with all these weapons. He also wants in on the action. So he's going to use his crossbow and shoot at the pirate that just charmed Tolv.

[Doug]

Okay, so there's the one that just stepped out from that mode of hell.

[Private Parts]

Yeah, maybe if I shoot my crossbow at you, you'll get flown back. Back into the mode of hell, huh? I'm practicing my intimidation. I haven't done that in a while.

[Gunther]

You're doing great.

[Gustavo]

You're killing it.

[Private Parts]

18.

[Doug]

That hits.

[Private Parts]

Oh, yes.

[Doug]

Nice.

[Private Parts]

Doing six points of piercing damage.

[Doug]

Yeah, this pirate is still up, but it's looking a little worse for wear. I like to think Doug pulls out his crossbow and it's like that gift from Spy Kids where it's like the little targeting glass comes down in front of the eyes like glasses, all the way down. You, like, steady the crossbow on your other arm and fire it.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Gus, you know exactly what I'm picturing as well. Absolutely. I think any weapon he uses has to be some type of, like, very precise mechanical feature to it. And I do have an extra attack.

[Doug]

Oh, okay.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh, I could attack twice rather than once. Whenever you take the attack action on my turn.

[Tolv]

Oh, that's cool.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Which I didn't know I had until recently.

[Gunther]

Is that new?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I think it might be. That's a 24 on the next hit.

[Doug]

Believe it or not, that's a hit.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh, wow. Doing nine points of piercing damage on that one.

[Natty]

Nice.

[Doug]

Yeah, this one's kind of stumbling around, but is still standing.

[Private Parts]

Only I'm allowed to charm my friends.

[Doug]

By reading their thoughts. Yeah, that. That pirate is very bloodied and definitely staggering around in place.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

And I. I know that you are already very generous with letting the. The defender be a bonus action, but could I also tell if I recognize any of these pirates?

[Doug]

I'm gonna give you an option here, Barbara, the player. You can either make a history check or a perception check. Why don't you tell me which you would prefer?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I'm gonna do history.

[Natty]

Do you have a higher modifier for miss history? Nice.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Fifteen.

[Tolv]

That's not bad.

[Natty]

Come on, guys.

[Doug]

You don't necessarily recognize any of the specific pirates, but you do recognize some of, like, the. The outfits that they're wearing as being different factions in the area that. You've read about this in your downtime when you were preparing to come to Endridge Bay. And you believe that these pirates are part of that. There are three different factions that you're looking at here in the cage match.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Could I remember the names of those factions?

[Doug]

Yeah. One of them is the Council of Conservation.

[Gustavo]

It'll sound so bad.

[Doug]

The other one is the Rabble.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

The Rabble. I like that. Okay.

[Doug]

And the last one is Troop. Troop.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

These all sound like names you came up with right now.

[Doug]

They are definitely not. They are. They are very well thought out names by Micah.

[Natty]

I just heard Micah's head slam into his keyboard. He sat all night on that. Dark rings on his eyes. Troop Poop. No, that can't be it. Troop.

[Gustavo]

Troop.

[Gunther]

Coop.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

The Coop. Troop. How to. Out of the. The different ones. What are the colors? I guess if there are different colors or anything associated with them.

[Doug]

It's not necessarily colors. It's more like symbols that they use.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Okay.

[Doug]

The Council of Conservation. Their symbol is two prayerful hands cupping paw prints.

[Gustavo]

I like these guys.

[Doug]

Rabble's symbol is four faces of differing emotions. And Troop Troop is a pirate flag with black ballet slippers.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Whoa.

[Natty]

Ooh.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

How do you even choose? There are all such great options. I'll take one of each, please. That's it for Doug. But then Gambot's up.

[Private Parts]

Gambot's tone.

[Natty]

We need to create a theme song for Gambot that's like a. Like a kids cartoon. Like.

[Tolv]

It'S got to be like a chip tune style song. That's like absolute bit sounds.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Gunther]

Yeah.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Micah. If you feel inspired.

[Natty]

That'S a freebie. Micah. There you go. More work for you.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I am going to have him do a force empowered rend on. Who's the pirate closest to him? If I summoned him kind of like in between me and holes.

[Tolv]

Y'all should finish off that dude.

[Gustavo]

Who's.

[Tolv]

Who's tatering?

[Doug]

I'll say. It's that one. The. The one that you hit with your crossbow.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

The Captain.

[Tolv]

Nope.

[Doug]

No, it's not the captain.

[Natty]

Patchy.

[Doug]

Patchy. It's Patchy.

[Natty]

The guy that's charmed me.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Okay. He will hit him.

[Gunther]

I was told. Think about that.

[Gustavo]

I love Gambot, but I love Patchy. This is tough.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

25.

[Doug]

Oh, that's a hit.

[Gustavo]

So long, patchy.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Four points of force damage.

[Doug]

That's enough. I think that Gambot does like a pneumatic uppercut with his head on the chin of the this pirate and it knocks him, like, kind of cartoonish, like, off his feet backwards. Both his shoes fly off of his his feet and his body flies back into the mode of hell and he disappears forever.

[Tolv]

God.

[Doug]

Are you tired of the mainstream media's coverage of the NBA? You ever wonder about what they're hiding? The stories that don't fit the agenda?

[Gustavo]

You want the truth?

[Doug]

Do you think you can handle it?

[Natty]

Welcome.

[Doug]

Welcome to Basketball Illuminati. I'm Tom Haberstrom. And I'm Amino Hassen.

[Tolv]

With over two decades of experience navigating the shadowy depths of the NBA, we'll.

[Gunther]

Peel back the curtain and show you how the hidden cabal really operates.

[Doug]

Are you ready to be enlightened?

[Gustavo]

Basketball Illuminati podcast?

[Doug]

Join the illumination and keep your third eye open.

[Gustavo]

Gambot.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I like to think after he does that, Gambot just turns his head, like, almost in approval towards Doug, like. But he has no thumb, so he can't put his thumbs up.

[Tolv]

Geeky's holding his axe over his head, going, yeah.

[Natty]

Has charm been lifted?

[Doug]

Yeah, you are no longer charmed by Patchy because Patchy is no longer here.

[Private Parts]

Now he's charmed by.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I mean, there it is.

[Gustavo]

I switched my charm willingly.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Sorry, I forgot to ask. What faction was Patchy?

[Gustavo]

Please not Council of Conservation. Please not Council of Conservation.

[Doug]

Patchy was Council of Conservation.

[Gustavo]

Go, Patchy.

[Doug]

Is that it for you, Doug?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

That is it.

[Doug]

Okay, I got a couple of pirates here. Then after them is going to be Gunther. The first one up is the other one that was in mode of hell. So this one comes stumbling out and sees Gambot. Well, Gambot would be right by K. Comes out to is a little further away. To's a liar. But Gambot is closer. It's gonna try to stab at Gambot with its dagger.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Good luck.

[Gustavo]

You call me a liar.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I heard that too.

[Doug]

You were a liar. You said, hey, let's not fight. And then you immediately attacked. You already forgot that?

[Gustavo]

That was good. That was a good one.

[Doug]

This pirate quickly takes. Takes two stabs at Gambot with its daggers.

[Natty]

How far away is Gambot from tolv? Was it 15ft or was it closer?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I think it was closer.

[Natty]

Well, I know that Natty put the moat of hell, whatever that metal name, was 15ft away from me. Yeah, but I don't know that that necessarily means that the exit is 15ft from toll or if I'm on the edge of it.

[Doug]

Oh, I see. Yeah, it's probably kind of close to you.

[Tolv]

He wants to know if his sentinel is getting proc'd.

[Gustavo]

Yeah, let's be real. I just want to kill another guy, you know?

[Doug]

Sure, why not? So then the pirate attacks. First makes its attack and then you react. Yes, is how I read that. Okay. I think I only hit one time. I got an 11 and a 24 on Gambot. I don't know what Gambot's AC is.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh, it's a 15. Yeah. So that hit.

[Doug]

Okay. Yeah, the 11 misses, but the 24 hits doing one D4 plus three piercing damage.

[Gustavo]

How dare you.

[Doug]

So Gambot takes six points piercing damage from the dagger. Oh, Gambot. This is a family show. But to that. That does not sit well with you.

[Gustavo]

You do not touch that beautiful machine.

[Natty]

I'm gonna take an opportunity attack. Attack of opportunity. My God.

[Doug]

I like opportunity attack. I'm a little hungry. I go for some opportunities for the table.

[Gustavo]

Yeah.

[Natty]

Blue and onion. Is that just a normal attack? Just like.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Gustavo]

Okay. All right.

[Natty]

Well, I'm hit him with my warhammer then. 19.

[Doug]

Yeah, that hits. And then just to clarify, for future opportunity, attack is always melee, but you're using your warhammer and they have to be within five feet of you for this, so it kind of makes sense. But just to clarify, attacks are opportunity or melee.

[Gustavo]

Is there any other kind of attack other than melee? I mean, let's be real, you know, to represent.

[Natty]

Okay, I'm gonna roll damage.

[Tolv]

Natty just points at the living embodiment of hell. That's like five feet from you.

[Gustavo]

The floor recognizes Natty Wander.

[Natty]

That's a seven plus the two. Because I'm raging. So nine.

[Doug]

Nine. This pirate is pretty bloody. Between the moat and now your attack, it's seen better days, but still stand still. Fine.

[Gustavo]

You leave my little mechanized friend alone.

[Doug]

Okay, that's it for that one. Then it is one of the other pirates that it was in a 2v2. So this is the one that was on the captain's side. You hurt the captain, so this one's gonna attack. You told.

[Gustavo]

Bring it.

[Doug]

Gonna do two dagger attacks.

[Gustavo]

Cute.

[Doug]

One hits 20, the other is a crit. I assume they both hit.

[Gustavo]

You would assume correctly.

[Doug]

Okay, we'll do the the non crit first.

[Gustavo]

Okay.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I don't know if I'm allowed to do this. Gambot has a reaction called deflect attack, where the defender imposes disadvantage on the attack roll of one creature. Could see within five feet, provided the attack rolls against a creature other than the defender.

[Gustavo]

Best friends forever.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

They're basically like, no, get away from Him. Get away from him.

[Gunther]

The disparity between Gambot and Giggy Gus's shoulders just dropped.

[Tolv]

I just saw that happen.

[Doug]

Okay, I'm going to assume you gotta.

[Tolv]

Figure out which one to put disadvantage on.

[Doug]

I'm gonna assume that since we're doing this kind of since I rolled both attacks at the same time, that you're gonna choose the. The one that critted.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yes.

[Doug]

Okay, I will re roll that one in a second. But first I rolled damage for the non crit, that which was seven points of piercing damage, but you're raging so you take half. So that's three points of piercing damage. And now I will roll for the disadvantage. Roll here for the other attack. So it's a 20 and a 22. I should say a 25 and a 22. So it still hits. But it's not a crit.

[Gustavo]

It's not crit. Gambot, you're my bro. I love you, dude. Way to go. Oh, back. Back to you.

[Doug]

The mouth on that robot. What have you been teaching him, Doug?

[Private Parts]

English.

[Doug]

So since it's not a crit, you just take five. Five points of piercing damage, but since you're raging, you just take two points.

[Natty]

Cool.

[Gustavo]

This is fun. Combat's fun. Level five combat. Guys, are you guys enjoying this?

[Doug]

So it is the captain's turn.

[Gustavo]

About to eat my words.

[Doug]

The pirates all have daggers except for the captain who instead is attacking with a rapier.

[Tolv]

I thought you're gonna say he had a gun.

[Doug]

Well, you don't know this yet, but the captain also does have a gun.

[Tolv]

I was gonna say pirates have guns. Pirates have like, you know, they underbust the gun toting individuals.

[Natty]

Flintlock pistols, boomsticks.

[Doug]

So the captain is going to attack with a rapier against Utolf. This is a plus seven.

[Private Parts]

Okay, Guntal, he also has a weep here.

[Gunther]

Oh, I'm still perched on your head.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I forgot about that.

[Doug]

That is a 19, which is a hit.

[Natty]

Yeah, that meets Argy Reap what ye.

[Tolv]

So sailor cuz we be farming pirates or something.

[Gustavo]

What.

[Tolv]

Pirates are. They're so known for their agricultural skills.

[Doug]

That reference probably wouldn't fly with them, but whatever. 15 points of piercing damage, but you're raging so you take seven. Then you made this captain very angry. So they attack again with the rapier hitting AC25, doing 12 points of piercing damage where you take half, so you take six. Okay, Micah says reap what you stow, which is probably better. That's. That probably makes sense for them.

[Natty]

That's good. All right.

[Doug]

That's Two attacks for the Pirate Captain. So he pulls out his pistol and fires it at you. Point blank range right in your face.

[Natty]

My God, this guy's really Getting revenge.

[Doug]

Hitting AC23. Man, those are some good rolls I got today. They are. Oh, this might do a lot of damage. Oh, I rolled two ones. Six points of piercing damage. But you're raging, so you take three.

[Gustavo]

Cool gun.

[Doug]

I saved the gun for last to have it be like the oh, no. And it Two ones. Awesome.

[Tolv]

Yeah, that's what I used to do.

[Natty]

With Kyborg, but mine would normally hit it and cause a lot of damage. But it was cool, you know, it's still cool.

[Doug]

I tried the pistol fires and it's a lot of smoke, but there is no, not much damage.

[Natty]

The smoke parts, revealing a smiling toll of.

[Gustavo]

I cannot wait until my next turn, Captain.

[Doug]

Great, great, great, great. So that was the Captain. So now it's one of the other pirates from the 2v2. And this pirate looks at the situation and takes their chance and decides to attack the Pirate Captain. While the Pirate Captain is distracted.

[Gustavo]

Yorg.

[Doug]

And only hits once with its dagger, doing five points of piercing damage on the Captain. The captain looks angrily at the other pirate, but focuses attention back at to Gunther. It's your turn. After Gunther's private parts and then the final pirate. Then we go back up to the top to toll.

[Gunther]

Okay, Gunther's been watching from above. Doug yells out Fizzbaum. And sees if any of the pirates turn to look.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Didn't even think about that.

[Doug]

Make a perception check for me, Gunther.

[Gunther]

Aladdin.

[Doug]

No. No one seems to turn and look in your direction.

[Gunther]

Okay, well, I want to jump to the. Where's the Pirate Captain?

[Doug]

The pirate Pirate Captain is. We'll call it, like 15ft away or so.

[Gunther]

Okay, From a top duck. There are many people in the way between me and the Captain.

[Doug]

No enemies, if that's what you're looking at.

[Gunther]

Well, then, yeah. Gunther wants to jump and make his way to the Captain.

[Doug]

Okay.

[Gunther]

Pulls out his sword. Do you know where Fizmum is?

[Doug]

You're asking the Captain?

[Gunther]

The Captain.

[Doug]

The captain looks at you quizzically and says, who? Okay, wait, no.

[Tolv]

Get out.

[Doug]

Argh. And brandishes a rapier in your direction.

[Gunther]

All right, from that, can I roll see if I think he actually is telling the truth?

[Doug]

Sure. Vibe check.

[Gunther]

That's 12.

[Doug]

You don't sense that the Captain is hiding anything or being deceitful?

[Gunther]

Okay, then I'm gonna attack him.

[Doug]

All right.

[Gustavo]

Careful, he's got a gun.

[Gunther]

So I'm going To attack with my rapier.

[Private Parts]

Yeah.

[Natty]

Oh, this is like a. Like a Princess Bride sword fight.

[Gunther]

That's a 16.

[Doug]

That does not hit.

[Gunther]

Okay.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Dang, Stevens, bro.

[Gunther]

I do. Okay, I'll do that at least. My inspiration die just because I want to do something.

[Doug]

All right, I'm gonna re.

[Gunther]

Roll.

[Gustavo]

Come on, gunther.

[Gunther]

That's a 20.

[Gustavo]

Yeah.

[Doug]

Yeah. That hits. Okay, but the captain executes a riposte and knocks your blade aside and instead lunges forward with his own blade attacking you. Gunther.

[Gunther]

Wait, wait, wait. I didn't even get to.

[Tolv]

The smile on Gus's face says so much.

[Gunther]

Well, then, okay. Does he hit me?

[Doug]

Hitting AC20.

[Gunther]

All right, well, I repost him. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Doug]

We got a sword fight.

[Gunther]

So I do my own riposte when a creature missed. Oh, he missed, did he? Wait, what he hit me with?

[Doug]

He hit. He had AC20, but I hit.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Did I use my deflect attack again from Gamble.

[Doug]

It's a reaction, so you only get one per turn.

[Gunther]

Wait, so wait, but I hit him on that attack, right?

[Doug]

His reaction is when he's hit by a melee attack. Roll. Oh, he gets to repost.

[Gunther]

Okay. And he hits me.

[Doug]

Yeah. AC20. Damn. Gosh, I was very happy, John, you're right. I've been waiting for someone to execute.

[Tolv]

You need to have some wins, too.

[Doug]

Okay, thank you.

[Gunther]

All right, so he hits me and does what?

[Doug]

15 points of piercing damage. It's like one of those old pirate films, you know? That's like, all the real swashbuckling.

[Natty]

That's cool.

[Tolv]

Like Muppet Treasure Island.

[Doug]

Exactly. That's exactly what I was thinking of. You're Kermit.

[Tolv]

It's actually, at this point, I think, an old movie. If, like, we really want to talk about.

[Doug]

That's true. Yeah.

[Tolv]

I was thinking, like, over 20 years old.

[Doug]

I was thinking, like, Errol Flynn kind of stuff.

[Gustavo]

Yeah.

[Tolv]

No, no, I think. I think Muppeters might be, like, 20, 30 years old.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Wow.

[Gunther]

Then I'm going to attack with my second attack with him.

[Doug]

Okay.

[Gunther]

Come on. 23.

[Doug]

Okay. Yeah, that hits.

[Gunther]

That hits. Okay, yeah, I'm going to roll damage. That's 12. And I also want to do a menacing attack.

[Doug]

Okay.

[Gunther]

When you hit with a weapon attack, you can spend one superiority die to add the total to the damage roll. And the target must make a wisdom saving throw of DC16 on a failure. He's frightened of me. Until the next turn.

[Doug]

Okay, well, I'm going to write the 12 damage down for now. Then you're going to roll your superiority die.

[Gunther]

That's a seven.

[Doug]

So that's another seven points of damage.

[Gunther]

Another seven points of damage. And they have to make it DC16. And Gunther goes, sneaky, sneaky. But I am sneakier.

[Doug]

All right, I have a plus five on wisdom saving throw, so I need an 11 or better. I rolled a six, so failure.

[Gunther]

And then he goes, boo.

[Doug]

The captain seems to lose their nerve a little bit.

[Gunther]

And then I want to action surge.

[Gustavo]

Is there like a cool Gunther way of saying this?

[Private Parts]

Uh huh.

[Gunther]

Action surge.

[Gustavo]

Oh, God.

[Doug]

I think Mote of hell just hit us.

[Natty]

He just rolled over to the battlefield.

[Gunther]

So then I'm gonna take another attack.

[Doug]

Attack.

[Gunther]

That's gonna be a 24. All right, that hits for a 14 damage.

[Gustavo]

Whoa.

[Doug]

All right.

[Gunther]

And how's he looking?

[Doug]

Very bloodied, but still standing.

[Gunther]

How about one more and then I'll attack.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

No, please.

[Gunther]

That's a 27.

[Doug]

That hits with the tri. Cool. Wit like that, you could be an action movie star.

[Gunther]

I rolled a three. Plus I'm reroll that dice for the three. See if I can get higher.

[Doug]

What's that?

[Gunther]

Yeah, it's the piercer feat that I just got where once per turn, I can re roll a damage die.

[Doug]

Ah, gotcha.

[Natty]

Because you wanted to reroll Gus.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Gustavo]

Can you explain?

[Gunther]

So I rerolled it. Now it's an ace. So it's another 15 damage.

[Doug]

Yeah. You pierce the captain right in the heart, and you see him fall limp to the sandy floor.

[Gustavo]

Cool.

[Gunther]

You should have said you knew him.

[Gustavo]

Does anyone else know Fizz Bob?

[Natty]

Everyone's like, oh, me, me, me.

[Gunther]

That's it. That's my turn.

[Doug]

All right, that's it for Gunther's turn.

[Tolv]

Private parts.

[Doug]

Doug, you feel a tapping on your shoulder?

[Private Parts]

Hello.

[Doug]

Well, I guess not on your shoulder. Maybe like your waist or something a little lower. How tall?

[Natty]

Doug is like a tugging on his tunic.

[Doug]

Yeah. Doug turns around, you turn around, and private parts is stacked standing there and says, hi. Doug, quick question. On a scale of 1 to 10.

[Tolv]

How would you rate the progress of this battle so far?

[Private Parts]

The progress of this battle? Let's see. Yeah, pretty good, actually. You know, like, I think we're making pretty good progress here. I would say 6.82.

[Doug]

6.82. And if you were thinking of B team, how would you rank them from best contribution to worst contribution? Only for this battle.

[Tolv]

Speaking about what we're experiencing right now. Of course.

[Private Parts]

Only for this battle. And they can't heal me, right?

[Doug]

No, this is for private confidential record keeping.

[Private Parts]

Excellent. Okay. None of my teammates could heal me, right?

[Tolv]

Natty's standing next to Doug. Can I hear.

[Natty]

Are we actually taking them off?

[Doug]

Take them off. I'll give you a thumbs up.

[Private Parts]

All right, so I would say Natty, probably number one, that I think that moat was very, very helpful.

[Doug]

Mark this writing down.

[Private Parts]

And then to. He did some really great damage. So I'd say number two, I put Doug at a conservative number three. Yeah, you know, there's some good damage there to help take out the Pirate Dao and Steel Defender. Really helpful. And, you know, Steel defender was part.

[Doug]

Of me, so that's a really good point, actually.

[Private Parts]

If anything, maybe he gets 3.5. And then unfortunately, Gundle, I think would be fourth place. But he. I think he has a chance to really step it up.

[Doug]

Of course, we all have a chance to improve. Thank you very much for taking part in this survey.

[Private Parts]

And private parts number five. Understood, as you have not really done much yet other than take notes, which, you know, it could be helpful in some cases. I think note taking is very important.

[Tolv]

I'm an observer.

[Doug]

I'm going Let him back up.

[Natty]

I actually muted. I muted you on my go xlr. So I truly not see.

[Gunther]

I could just hear.

[Doug]

And Barbara, roll me a D6.

[Private Parts]

You make me do so much work today.

[Doug]

Well, you're the team leader.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Six.

[Doug]

Really? Okay.

[Tolv]

It's a number on a D6. Yes.

[Doug]

I was expecting one through five. I was not expecting a six.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Thank you, John, for having faith she created.

[Tolv]

Let me just check mine real quick. Yes, there's a six on mine.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

It probably just proved that I ranked our team perfectly.

[Tolv]

Oh, cool.

[Gustavo]

Hopefully you factored in me and Gambots little friendship. You know, maybe that was de facto.

[Private Parts]

Oh, it definitely was a facto.

[Gustavo]

Oh, good.

[Doug]

Private parts hands you something. He says here, I found this half buried in the sand. I figured you might need it.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Doug takes whatever this is from private parts and looks at it.

[Doug]

It's a snake like pirate hook crafted from some kind of unusual green threading.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Do I know what it does or what it is?

[Doug]

No, but you think you could use. Can use it as some kind of weapon to like, hook into nearby enemies.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

So you said green snakeskin.

[Doug]

A snake like pirate hook crafted from unusual green threading. Okay, Threading. Threading like thread.

[Gunther]

So it's like not hard.

[Doug]

A little both.

[Natty]

Is it like the hook shot from Zelda?

[Doug]

Kinda, I guess. Yeah. Hook onto nearby enemies.

[Natty]

Oh, that's cool.

[Gustavo]

Get over here.

[Natty]

That could be your new thing. You can own that now. Go, Doug.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Word for word.

[Doug]

Okay. And that's it for private parts. And it is the last pirate in the 2v2 who has not gone. This one is also going to attack the captain like its friend did. Now that the captain's back is turned and it's focusing on Told and both attacks miss, one of them's a one. So I'm gonna say this pirate gets sand in its eye and can't see very well.

[Gustavo]

Yar me iz.

[Natty]

What faction was he from?

[Doug]

This one is from part of the rabble.

[Natty]

The rabble.

[Gustavo]

Not a threat. Got it. We're marking that down.

[Doug]

Okay, that's it. We're back up to the top. Which means it's Tolve and then Natty and then a pirate.

[Gustavo]

Ooh, baby. It's tove o'clock.

[Natty]

That's good because the captain is dead. And this probably creates a new point in the fight. I'm going to once again address the crowd.

[Gustavo]

Okay, everybody, the captain's dead. And unless you guys want to lose another dude, you guys, like, want to call it? Call it. Quincy's here. How's everybody feeling on the battlefield, huh?

[Tolv]

I think we're in a fight cage. I don't think we get to decide when the fight's over.

[Gustavo]

How does the crowd feel?

[Doug]

Make a persuasion check.

[Tolv]

Okay.

[Natty]

That is a 17.

[Doug]

Oh, yeah. The crowd seems to kind of quiet down a bit and look at each other and murmur. It seems like half of them begin cheering and half of them begin yelling angrily. And they begin exchanging money with each other. But then one of them isn't paying attention to them at all and locks eyes with you. Tolve. And from the stands yells, what's the finisher?

[Gustavo]

Hammer time.

[Natty]

And then I attack the nearest pirate to me, I guess. Yes. I'm gonna go for the guy that just tried to attack me.

[Doug]

Okay.

[Tolv]

Do a combo with Giggy.

[Natty]

What does that mean?

[Tolv]

I don't know. Do something cool. You gotta do something cool for your finisher. It's your fatality.

[Gustavo]

Wait.

[Natty]

Throw the giggy.

[Gustavo]

Oh, I know what I'm gonna do.

[Doug]

It's a make believe game we're playing.

[Tolv]

That's what I'm saying. Weave a vibrant tapestry of violence and fun.

[Natty]

Well, I want to have my turn. I don't want your other character.

[Tolv]

I wasn't telling you to do something giggy. I was just like, like, do a fatality. Do something cool. Grab a chair.

[Natty]

I got something. I got something. I prepared for this. So I'm gonna attack initially with the Vorhammer. I'm gonna hit the guy that's that attacked me.

[Doug]

Okay, got it.

[Natty]

So that is a 22.

[Doug]

Oh, that hits.

[Natty]

All right, I'm gonna do my bludgeoning damage. That's a seven plus the two because I'm raging. So nine.

[Doug]

Okay. Yeah. The pirate. It takes a body blow from the warhammer, but still snarls at you angrily.

[Gustavo]

Oh, you're gonna snarl? Well, how about she eats some of this?

[Natty]

And then I'm gonna use the storm aura as a bonus action. I gain a 10 foot aura effect when you start your rage. And as a bonus action on each of your turns. When activated, one creature of your choice. And your aura takes lightning damage based on your level. So It'd be a 1D6 if I pass.

[Doug]

Okay.

[Natty]

So I think he has to pass it a dex DC14.

[Doug]

Dex is oh, plus five. So I need a nine or better. Oh, it was on a six, and then it rolled over to a 14. So that's a. A 19.

[Natty]

Okay, I'm gonna roll my D6, and then I'm gonna cut that number in half. That is a four. So he got two lightning damage. He's still standing though, right?

[Doug]

Yeah, he's like. He's like that cartoonish thing now where, like, his clothes and his hair are like. Like smoke is coming off a little bit. He looks a little dazed. He's kind of, like, drunk standing on his feet.

[Gustavo]

You seem a little static. Shots. Let me ground you.

[Natty]

And then I hit him with getting.

[Tolv]

Do, like, some letters show up in front of Tolv that are, like, red and like, a little, like, they're written, like, in a bloody font that say something.

[Doug]

Finish him.

[Gustavo]

Yeah, let me ground him.

[Natty]

And then I'm gonna hit with my warhammer again. It's a 20. Two hits. All right. Doing damage.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I believe it's pronounced damage dimage.

[Natty]

That's 10 plus 2. 12.

[Doug]

12 points of damage. Yeah. While the pirate is there, stunned, you bring down your warhammer to firmly ground him, and he falls to the ground unmoving. And the person who asked about the finisher lets out a loud cheer. He turns around and begins handing out and receiving money as well.

[Gustavo]

Cool.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

So they bet on people who weren't even part of the initial fight.

[Tolv]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Doug]

Cool.

[Natty]

Yeah. I think we're winning.

[Doug]

I don't want to get in the weeds about gambling, but you can bet that things will happen or things won't happen or, like, you can make other bets as well besides just, like, which side will win. Gotcha.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

True. Thank you for explaining gambling to me. I'm a good person who doesn't gamble. Just get Gambling.

[Doug]

We'll have. We'll have a special how to Gamble episode until she can stick to.

[Natty]

I think that that's my turn. I don't. I'm still within 5ft of Gambot and Gunther, correct?

[Doug]

Yes. Okay. I think that at this point, like, all the fighting seems to be subsiding, and the remaining pirates are all kind of, like, putting their weapons away and shaking hands. Kind of like after a Little League game where you, like, high five each other and say, good game. They're all good gaming each other.

[Tolv]

You know in Little League when you murder each other.

[Doug]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Natty]

And then you shake hands and high five and eat orange slices after.

[Doug]

Yeah. You go to Dairy Queen if you want.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Only the pirates wouldn't eat orange slices because they're getting scurvy.

[Tolv]

It's even more important than me. Fan orange slices.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Gunther]

While they're doing that, could Gunther go to the Pirate Captain and search him and then also take his shoes off?

[Doug]

Yeah, sure. Why not?

[Gunther]

Okay.

[Gustavo]

Taking his shoes off. Is this like a ritual? Why are you taking his supported feet? Feet?

[Gunther]

I'm checking for something.

[Gustavo]

Okay, I know we're talking about feet earlier.

[Tolv]

What are you checking for?

[Gunther]

I'm looking for a particular set of feet.

[Tolv]

Care to share what kind of feet you're looking for?

[Private Parts]

I think he just wants a feet because he got a feet.

[Gunther]

Yeah. Do I notice anything unique about this captain's feet?

[Doug]

No. No, no.

[Gunther]

Okay.

[Gustavo]

Gunther, are you seeking revenge on someone who has six toes or some weird feet?

[Gunther]

Yes.

[Tolv]

You called it.

[Doug]

I had no idea either. I was like, I don't know where this is going.

[Tolv]

He's looking for the man with six feet. Six toes.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Six feet.

[Doug]

Well, this one's going to be six feet under.

[Gustavo]

We're all buddies. Why don't you tell us what kind of feet you're looking for and then we can help you find it.

[Tolv]

Six toes.

[Gunther]

Six toes.

[Gustavo]

Oh, six toes. Oh, I told you. You called them.

[Private Parts]

You called it on both feet or one foot?

[Gunther]

Just the one foot with six toes.

[Private Parts]

And the right or the left. Do you remember?

[Gunther]

It was on the right.

[Private Parts]

Okay, got it.

[Gustavo]

Now, did they get this extra toe from, like, some sort of hokey pokey accident? No. Okay, never mind.

[Gunther]

I do not understand how you get.

[Gustavo]

You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out. You know, maybe when you put it in and he collided with another foot and gained a toe. I don't know.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Exactly, dog.

[Gunther]

No, I don't. I believe he did. Hokey pokies. Okay, was there anything on the body of the Captain?

[Doug]

Yeah, I mean, the Captain has a rapier and a pistol.

[Gunther]

Can I take the rapier and the pistol?

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Gunther]

Just a basic rapier?

[Doug]

Yeah, it's just a standard rapier. And why not? We also had a small purse filled with some silver. Three silver pieces. Sorry, I wrote that.

[Gunther]

I hand out two of the silver. I'll just hand out all three of them to the party members.

[Gustavo]

A tip.

[Tolv]

Natty gives it to Gigi and he.

[Natty]

Proceeds to eat it.

[Private Parts]

Maybe we could give these to that wind twiddle if we happen to come in contact with him again.

[Tolv]

You know what? I think it's time to get a little helper for Giggy. Natty grabs a drop of blood, a piece of flesh, from the Captain and then grinds a little bit of a exposed bone and casts animate dead on the Captain.

[Doug]

Okay.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh, my God.

[Tolv]

This spell creates an undead servant. It imbues the target with. With a foul mimicry of life, raising as an undead creature. The target becomes a skellington if you chose a pile of bones. Or a zombie, if you chose a corpse. So he's a zombie.

[Doug]

Yep, zombie. Definitely a corpse.

[Tolv]

He only lasts for 24 hours, but I can cast it again on him after a long rest if I want to.

[Natty]

Keep him Tolve sees this, and his instinct would be to attack, but he.

[Gustavo]

Mentioned he knows that you mentioned that you have this new thing. And he turns to Natty and he says, I'm gonna ask that I have a dnr. So if I go down, do not do that to me.

[Tolv]

Hey, Captain, what's your. What was your name? I don't know if he can talk. But what was the Captain's name?

[Doug]

Let's first establish if he can talk real fast, just because he. This may come back and be important later, so I'd like to set the precedent now.

[Tolv]

I don't know. Can zombies talk?

[Doug]

So zombies can understand the languages of its creator, but cannot speak. Okay, so that's according to the rules for zombies. So I'm going to say.

[Tolv]

I'm going to need to come up with something a little easier to say than that. All right, everybody, meet Grumbles.

[Gustavo]

Good evening, Captain Grumbles.

[Tolv]

Captain Grumbles.

[Private Parts]

Is Grumbles part of the rabble faction by any chance? Because that would.

[Doug]

I believe that's what I said.

[Natty]

No, he was the conservation.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Patchy was part of the Council of Conservation.

[Doug]

Yeah. And then one of the. One of the pirates that was fighting the Captain was the rabble. Which means that. No, the Captain was part of Troop Troop.

[Private Parts]

Okay.

[Gustavo]

Is he a dancer?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

How do we spell troop?

[Doug]

Troop. T, R O O P T R O U P E. I nailed it.

[Gustavo]

I'll take my inspiration to. Hi.

[Tolv]

All right, Captain, take care of Gigi.

[Doug]

Gigi has a leash, right? Yeah, yeah, I guess. You hand the leash to the captain to Grumbles. Okay.

[Tolv]

And Gigi starts gnawing on his leg.

[Doug]

Okay. Grumbles just is watching.

[Tolv]

All right, Doug, what do we do now?

[Private Parts]

I guess we should probably find our way out of this cage, huh?

[Tolv]

Does anybody like approach the cage like a door or a referee? Or does that dude up north above us do anything?

[Private Parts]

Or maybe Gunto? I don't know if you want to scream out to see if Phasma bum.

[Gunther]

Hi, we are looking for or fizz bod.

[Tolv]

Nope.

[Private Parts]

Fizz Mom.

[Gunther]

Fizz Mom.

[Doug]

I never know if it's Gunther saying things a weird way or if he's just saying it wrong.

[Tolv]

That was a hard B. That was not the correct word.

[Doug]

Yeah, no, that was wrong. Nobody seems to reply or pay any attention. But the pirates who were there who just high fived each other are making their way to the staircase.

[Tolv]

That was to the south.

[Doug]

The staircase was. Yeah, to the south that appears to ascend.

[Gustavo]

Mr. Going to the locker room.

[Gunther]

Should we follow?

[Gustavo]

We should go to the rap party.

[Natty]

Yeah, yeah, I think so as to leaves. Cuz he's never gotten this kind of attention before. He wants to wave to the audience.

[Gustavo]

Thank you, thank you, good night.

[Doug]

A couple of them jeer at you angrily and then a few others like are cheering with fists full of money.

[Gustavo]

Excitedly my biggest fans shout out you.

[Gunther]

While we going up. Could Gunther go up to the one of the pirates that's walking up and be like you fought very bravely. I'm Gunther.

[Doug]

Yeah. The. The pirate kind of smiles at you and reaches out a hand to shake.

[Gunther]

Gunther reaches up and shakes it.

[Doug]

Yeah. As you know, you all are making your way to the staircase. You know Gunther's chatting with this pirate and shaking hands toll in the corner of your eyes. Something hooks your attention like a fish to the lure. A shadowy silhouette looms just past the heads of the exiting crowd. The menacing figure's wearing a minotaur horned helmet, wielding a mace spiked with scores of shark teeth.

[Gustavo]

Oh, don't know this guy.

[Doug]

You turn to face the figure and lock eyes with none other than Captain Jarl Ironclad.

[Gustavo]

Ironclad.

[Tolv]

A reunion.

[Gustavo]

No.

[Doug]

Find out what happens with that in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

[Tolv]

I got captain. You got Captain. Everybody get Captain.

[Doug]

It's Captain's all the way down.

[Gustavo]

This is not a fun captain. This is no Captain Crunch. You guys gotta be careful around this one.

[Doug]

All right, well, thanks for listening, everybody. I had a lot of fun in this episode. It was a lot of variety, a lot of things going on. It's, it's always, always a joy.

[Tolv]

It's fun to push new buttons.

[Gustavo]

I want to give this victory. I want to say a shout out to my God. Shout out to the sea drinker. Without you, I couldn't do this.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Tolv]

Toll 316.

[Doug]

Hey everyone, hope you're enjoying the show. Thank you so much. And if you'd like to give us some support, head over to store.stinkydragonpod.com we got some merch out for you. We got a Council of Barbarians T shirt. All your favorite barbarians on one t shirt. We've also got our stinky spring collection 25 with a vintage dusty dragon tea prestidigitation spelling tea. I love that shirt vibe check hat chat and much more. Again, go over to store.stinkydragonpod.com we would really appreciate it. New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever you stream podcasts and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want us in the show 48 hours early and ad free. Become a patron@stinky dragonpod.com or become a member of Beacon at Beacon TV. Both memberships support the show and receive access to our exclusive bonus series Second Wind and a member only Discord for their respective platform. If you become a patron, you get access to even more exclusive bonus content, content string Dragon Community and Discord events and you get your name shouted out just like Taylor at Bobolin. Bobolin Boublin. I don't know how to say that. Sorry, Taylor. Hi, my name is Marley Elorasaurus Ghee Camerbee and Natalie Morales at DefYou. These patrons directly support the show and get ad free episodes access to our exclusive patron only Discord Server bonus content like Second Wind and Behind the Screen and so much more. In fact, here's a quick peek from our latest episode of behind the Screen.

[Tolv]

What are the steps that go into creating an npc? My current process is I'll roll two personality traits and try and mash them together and it creates some complex, interesting characters rather than just like a typical archetype of a character. And then I'll give them one physical characteristic rather than like a full description. Because typically as a player, if you give them too many details, they won't take it in or they won't remember, or it's just too much information. Right. And then instead of more physical characteristics, I might give them something that they're wearing or holding and give that a descriptor as well. And so those are kind of the basic building blocks. Give them the name, of course. But it's funny, we played a episode not too long ago where they came across these little minion type creatures. I didn't write any, any information.

[Natty]

I gave, like, generic information for all of them.

[Tolv]

But there's no personalities, there's no, like, names. And I'm so glad they did because, like, they killed them all, you know.

[Doug]

It'S just like it would have been.

[Tolv]

Wasted effort to, like, give a backstory to this character that's never gonn come up again.

[Doug]

It's tough because if you write a backstory and all this compelling information for an npc, the party's never going to hear it, right? They're going to end up inevitably killing that npc or not asking any of the personal questions. But lots of times if you don't write that stuff, then the party's going to really want to drill in. Who is this person? Where are they from? How did they grow up? What are their parents names? Like, so there's really a balance to it. What helps me convey uniqueness to the NPCs is some of the random personality traits you give them. You know, this person, you know, missing part of their leg, or they speak like their tongue is stuck in their mouth, their tongue is stuck to the roof of their mouth, which kind of helps differentiate that NPC from other NPCs. Again, all of that [e-mail] we can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this show. A number of incredible voice actors lent their voices to this show, including the Pirate Captain voiced by Jordan sweers from 100% eat podcast. The crowd heckler, voiced by Peyton McLeod at Peyton McLeod. And private private parts voiced by Ben Ernst at HalcyonBen. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited and composed by Michael Reisinger, with additional editing work by Katherine Arnold. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

[Private Parts]

You guys know what time it is? It's Doug on the ones and twos. That equals threes. Welcome to today's show. Well, we are in the midst of a pirate battle with three different factions. Are they fighting each other? Are they fighting us? Is it both? Let's find out as we continue the tales from the Stinky Dragon. Even though if anybody does heal this, it's probably at the end of the episode and you already know what happened. Doug, unfortunately, even with his new telepathic ability, doesn't have the sense to see the future. But, hey, maybe someday, maybe on the next level up, that might be a feat that Doug gets a little op. But we shall see if the great powers that be allow Doug to see into the future. I couldn't think of something that rhymed with that. Doug should probably also use his time to stretch his legs, but he does not. Maybe that's in my best interest, but who knows? Doug's gonna stretch his legs.

[Doug]

Doug could see what will be.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh, my God. How did I not think of that?

[Doug]

I was peeing and I was, like, screaming, what will be.