C03 - Ep. 22 - Brig of Endridge Bay - The Great Mistery

Summary

Podcast Summary: Tales from the Stinky Dragon Episode: C03 - Ep. 22 - Brig of Endridge Bay - The Great Mystery
Release Date: July 23, 2025

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Introduction to the Adventure

In this thrilling installment of Tales from the Stinky Dragon, host Gustavo Sorola guides the adventuring party through the mysterious waters surrounding Endridge Bay. The episode, titled "Brig of Endridge Bay - The Great Mystery," showcases a blend of humor, strategy, and immersive storytelling as the players navigate unexpected challenges and uncover hidden secrets.

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The Arrow Question Challenge

At the episode's onset, the Dungeon Master (DM), Gustavo Sorola, introduces the session's "Arrow Question" segment:

Gustavo Sorola [00:55]: "Nice of you to drop by, all you naiads. Nautically knock on the stinky dragon and quaff our latest cuppa..."

Players are prompted to answer a game show-themed question:

Gustavo Sorola [03:20]: "What game show, real or made up, would your character love to be on? And how well do you think they do?"

The players engage in lively discussions, rolling dice to determine their characters' fates. Notable interactions include:

• John Risinger (Natty Wonder): After expressing his desire to be on The Price is Right, Natty reflects on the positive environment of the show.

  John Risinger [06:46]: "I feel like I could do really well on that show. Everyone there is having a good time."

• Tolv (Barbarian): Shares his enthusiasm for American Gladiators, highlighting his strengths in physical challenges.

  Tolv [08:00]: "I've always dreamed of going into the Atlas sphere against Laser and Turbo and climbing the pyramid."

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Encounter with Ironclad and the Trollings

The party soon faces a dire situation as a massive whirlpool threatens to engulf their ship, tethered alongside Ironclad's vessel. The tension escalates when Ironclad's crew, comprising troll-like creatures dubbed "trollings," begin attacking:

Gustavo Sorola [13:12]: "You see the seas beneath you begin slowly bubbling and swirling..."

Players must decide whether to engage in combat or seek alternative strategies. Key moments include:

• Tolv's Attempt at Persuasion: Tolv tries to negotiate with Ironclad, but his efforts fall flat.

  Tolv [16:52]: "Are you doing this whirlpool? Is this happening? Or is this you?"

• Natty's Aggressive Assault: Taking advantage of the dire situation, Natty launches a powerful attack that proves effective.

  Natty [26:14]: "I think you are a mother and you deserve all the bad things..."

The battle culminates with the trollings being defeated, but not without consequences:

Gustavo Sorola [20:08]: "This trolling gets blasted into a couple of different pieces that fall to the floor."

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Discovering Secrets Amidst Shipwrecks

With the immediate threat neutralized, the party explores the seabed, uncovering shipwrecks and hidden treasures. Their investigation reveals:

• A Mysterious Manacle and Skull: John discovers a golden manacle and a skull with a glowing gray socket, hinting at deeper enchantments.

  John Risinger [53:03]: "We have a map."

• Enchanted Objects: Chris identifies that the skull Doug interacted with is enchanted, adding layers to the mystery.

  Chris Damaris [56:09]: "That's it. The medallion has some kind of enchantment on it."

• Standing Stones and Descending Staircase: The players encounter standing stones covered in starfish, activating a hidden staircase that leads them deeper into the mystery.

  John Risinger [78:16]: "We descend and find a large circular stone room with veins of metal and steam wafting through cracks."

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Final Confrontations and Cliffhanger

As the adventurers navigate the stone room, the environment becomes increasingly perilous with cracking floors and emerging dangers:

Gustavo Sorola [80:43]: "You find yourself in a large circular stone room that has veins of metal with steam wafting up through cracks in the floor..."

The episode culminates in a dramatic cliffhanger as the floor begins spewing lava, threatening the party's survival:

Gustavo Sorola [81:26]: "The stone floor begins cracking and spewing lava everywhere. Is this the end of our party?"

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Conclusion and Reflections

Throughout the episode, Tales from the Stinky Dragon masterfully balances comedic elements with intense role-playing, keeping listeners engaged until the very end. The dynamic interactions among the players, combined with Gustavo's adept storytelling, set the stage for future adventures and mysteries awaiting the Stinky Dragon crew.

Notable Quotes:

• Tolv on Game Shows:

  Tolv [08:00]: "I've always dreamed of going...against Laser and Turbo..."

• Natty's Reflective Insight:

  John Risinger [06:46]: "I feel like I could do really well on that show."

• Drama During Combat:

  Gustavo Sorola [20:08]: "This trolling gets blasted into a couple of different pieces that fall to the floor."

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Stay tuned for the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon as the adventurers continue to unravel the mysteries of Endridge Bay and confront the challenges that lie beneath the sea.

Transcript

[Kristen Bell]

Hi, I'm Kristen Bell, and if you know my husband Dax, then you also know he loves shopping for a car. Selling a car, not so much.

[Dax Shepard]

We're really doing this, huh?

[Kristen Bell]

Thankfully, Carvana makes it easy. Answer a few questions, put in your van or license, and done. We sold ours in minutes this morning and they'll come pick it up and pay us this afternoon.

[Dax Shepard]

Bye bye, Truckee.

[Kristen Bell]

Of course, we kept the favorite.

[Dax Shepard]

Hello, other Truckee.

[Kristen Bell]

Sell your car with Carvana today. Terms and conditions apply.

[Barbara]

Close your eyes, exhale.

[Dax Shepard]

Feel your body relax, and let go.

[Barbara]

Of whatever you're carrying today.

[Kristen Bell]

Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts.

[John Risinger]

In time for this class.

[Kristen Bell]

I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my gosh, they're so fast.

[Kristen Bell]

And breathe.

[Doug]

Oh, sorry.

[Kristen Bell]

I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste.

[Chris Damaris]

Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order.

[Doug]

1-800-Contacts.

[Kristen Bell]

On WhatsApp, no one can see or hear your personal messages. Whether it's a voice call message or sending a password to WhatsApp, it's all just this. So whether you're sharing the streaming password in the family chat or trading those late night voice messages that could basically become a podcast, your personal messages stay between you, your friends and your family. No one else, not even us. WhatsApp message, privately with everyone.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Nice of you to drop by, all you naiads. Nautically knock on the stinky dragon and quaff our latest cuppa. What are you thinking? It's a mixture of psychic touch. Tea leaves, flying elderflowers, invisible water, and topped with sunken treasure trinkets. One sip of this psychedelic sea sauce and you'll be thinking what I'm thinking. Previously, our adventurers sailed the high saline seas aboard a borrowed ship, the Blindfold. They delved below deck, bumped into buccaneers in the brig, and perused the privateer's private quarters. After dipping into desperately needed downtime and dropping jaws of the Jebediah, the party perceived another ship on the stormy seas. Ironclads Deirdrost. Now the two ships are tethered and being swallowed by the sea. Nab some nectar and nestle in for a noxious narrative.

[Dax Shepard]

Narrative. I was thinking narrative, too. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I'm your dungeon master, Gustavo Sorola, and I'm gonna hit our four players with an arrow and. Pew. Pew, pew, pew. What game show, real or made up? Would your character love to Be on. And how well do you think they do? And that's submitted by the silent taco. That's the deadliest taco of all. Everyone go on. Roll initiative.

[John Risinger]

2, 8, 13, 13.

[Chris Damaris]

Chris, that was the saddest two I've ever heard. Give it another read. Give it another read. Come on.

[Blaine]

Twos aren't happy.

[Dax Shepard]

God, you're not happy? We had two 13s.

[John Risinger]

I rolled a NAT one on a roll off Barb. So go before me.

[Doug]

Okay, what if I also roll a one?

[John Risinger]

Do it. Do it. I roll two, Barb.

[Doug]

Oh, I rolled a seven. I thought it was a one, cuz.

[Dax Shepard]

Sevens kind of look like one. So it's going to be Doug. Natty to Gunther.

[Tolv]

Okay.

[Barbara]

Well, hello everyone.

[Doug]

Welcome to another episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I'm your co host, Barbara. I upgraded myself.

[John Risinger]

Oh yeah.

[Doug]

And I play Doug Boone, the male bugbear artificer who's currently at a level five.

[Barbara]

And you know, Doug, I think could participate on a number of game shows. But you know, Dwight in the Doug's strong suits is his brain. So you know, he's not very brawny, even though he looks kind of strong, but more strong in the mental capacity. And so I think, I think if Doug was to participate in a game show of sorts, he would choose to participate in Netflix's the Devil's Plan.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, that's a good one. You're. You're talking my language.

[John Risinger]

Don't know what this is.

[Chris Damaris]

You ever watch Devil's Plan?

[Doug]

Devil's Plan is so good. No, it's a reality show on Netflix that's like all about being really smart and like figuring out these games and like puzzles and all that stuff. It's very good.

[Dax Shepard]

It's like physical 100. If it was about using your brains.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah.

[John Risinger]

Oh, it's very good. I just canc my Netflix subscription, so I'm not going to watch it.

[Doug]

It does sound like we're promoting Netflix.

[John Risinger]

Well, we're not because I just said I'm cancel. I cancel mine because I don't use it.

[Doug]

Well, you should rejoin. So you watch Devil's Plan?

[John Risinger]

No, I'm not. I'm tired of paying that money.

[Dax Shepard]

So Doug, I mean, Devil's Plan is a South Korean, like, game show. Can Doug hit me up with his. His best Korean phrase here?

[John Risinger]

This can't end well.

[Barbara]

Yeah, so Doug's gonna say this in Korean and then all the audience is going to hear it translated into English.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow, that's hy must be an invention.

[Barbara]

My name is Doug.

[Doug]

Boon.

[John Risinger]

Star Trek rules.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. That's a really cool invention. Can I see that? Doug, this translator you have. Wow. This is amazing. You made this yourself?

[Barbara]

It's immediate.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow.

[Barbara]

I'm currently speaking Korean. I'm going to speak Korean in the entire episode. You guys just won't even know it.

[Chris Damaris]

Wow. Conjugated everything perfectly too.

[Gustavo Sorola]

This is amazing.

[Dax Shepard]

Your honorifics are on point. Thanks, Doug. That's a great answer. I was, I was not expecting that.

[John Risinger]

Okay, my turn.

[Dax Shepard]

Hi.

[John Risinger]

John Riesinger here. I play Natty Wonder, who is a drow warlock and a mother of one. That's her subclass.

[Dax Shepard]

So.

[John Risinger]

I love me some game shows. I got plenty of times that I can remember sitting down with my mamas and we watch all the game shows, especially on the days now this isn't my one that I want to be on. Nevermind. This is gonna be the one I wanna be on. I just need. You know what? I just changed my answer. Cause I just thought something even better than what I was gonna say, so go for it. The one that I loved the most was the one that I got to catch on the days where I was too sick to go to school, so I got to stay home. And I've always dreamed of being on the Price is Right.

[Doug]

I was gonna say.

[Dax Shepard]

I know what you're gonna say.

[Doug]

Based on staying home. It's 11am Every day.

[John Risinger]

Yeah. I just, I feel like I could do really well on that show. I feel like I'd be a good personality for them to have on there. And it just seemed like just a fun place to be. Everyone there is having a good time. Everyone there is excited. When they call your name. Everyone's already clapping for you. It's just good vibes all around.

[Barbara]

Hey, Natty, could I get a $1? Bob?

[Dax Shepard]

You seem like you'd be perfectly suited for that game show, Natty. I would love to watch that.

[John Risinger]

Yeah, I feel like you probably like you almost feel like you've seen me in that, that show already. Like at least some of me. Y.

[Dax Shepard]

Are you more of a Bob Barker or a Drew Carey fan?

[John Risinger]

I don't think I, I, I want to recognize that second name. I just want to go with the Bob.

[Chris Damaris]

Drew Carey. He was a huge Sticky Dragon fan before.

[John Risinger]

I honestly have no idea if he's a good host or a bad host. It's just I'm a child of the 80s and 90s, so Bob is my guy.

[Doug]

Bob supremacy.

[Dax Shepard]

You want to go with Bob Barker or smart supporter Drew Carey?

[Barbara]

Ooh.

[John Risinger]

Oops.

[Dax Shepard]

That's pretty cool. Thanks, daddy. I'm liking these answers so far. No pressure on the the second half of the team here. Toll Europe.

[Chris Damaris]

Hello, it's me, Blaine.

[Tolv]

And I play to the male or barbarian. I'm level five. I guess I'm not an orc anymore.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tolv]

God, I was a thaumatech. I guess I should start introducing myself appropriately now. The wig has been snatched. As Natty would say, everyone knows my true identity and, oh, you know, there are so many AM Game shows. You know, as Gustavo mentioned earlier, there's physical 100, which is great, but I think I would be the most proficient at American Gladiators. I've always dreamed of going, you know, into the Atlas sphere against Laser and. And turbo and, you know, climbing the pyramid when, you know, in a mad dash against Malibu. You know, I think I would do great on that show.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I would love to see that.

[Tolv]

I actually. Okay.

[Chris Damaris]

I genuinely would love to do American Gladiator. Yeah, they brought it back briefly. Or a version of it with the.

[Doug]

Rock where you see the obstacle course with, like, swinging from the monkey bars and then, like, jumping and like, hanging onto, like, a rope ladder and, like, doing all those things. Or is that something else?

[Dax Shepard]

That's American Ninja Warrior.

[Doug]

Ninja Warrior is what I'm thinking of.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. American Gladiators, like, is same kind of setup as, like, an arena, but all the games are all different. And then they would team you against, like, a genetic freak on steroids po these everyday Joes while wearing star spangled banner. Red, white and blue stripes. It's amazing.

[Dax Shepard]

It was a great show. I felt like, yeah, that. That you just, like, unlocked a core memory. I haven't thought about American Gladiators in a long time.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Since we're in a. A safe space here in our arrow question, I want to make a confession here. This has nothing to do with your arrow question, but Blaine said something here about to that made me think about a mistake I made early in this campaign that no one picked up on.

[Barbara]

I don't remember.

[Dax Shepard]

It was like episode two, maybe, or three. During an arrow, Blaine introduced himself as Tolv and an orc. And I was like, you're not an orc. And I gave him grief about it. And I was like, oh. And I was like, oh, yeah. I looked at your character sheet. You're totally an orc.

[Tolv]

There is so many times where there.

[Chris Damaris]

Was close calls like that, and I was like, really doing.

[Tolv]

What are you.

[Dax Shepard]

This is why I don't like knowing too much ahead of time, because I will Blow it. I am terrible at keeping secrets.

[Doug]

I didn't know that you knew. I guess it has to be involved in your character sheet. Kind of like something about Campaign two, which we won't reveal here just in case people haven't listened to it yet, but something involved in one of our characters.

[Chris Damaris]

We've got an episode of Second Wind where we're going to talk a lot more in depth about it and the Secret and having to uphold it. So if you're a Patreon subscriber, you can. You can hear that and hear all the close calls I've had trying to keep this a secret.

[John Risinger]

And we're going to cover the New York Times bestseller book the Secret as well.

[Chris Damaris]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, explain Chris, AKA Gunther, you're up.

[Blaine]

Chris Damaris. Oh, Gunther, the male crook folk fighter. How was that? Gus?

[Tolv]

How was that? Gus?

[John Risinger]

Yeah.

[Doug]

Is he a fighter Gus? Is that correct?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, Yeah. I believe it's pronounced fighter. I think you said ilium. I think. I believe it should be eatum.

[Blaine]

Okay. Yeah. Well, I'm working on it.

[Dax Shepard]

In the Korean Alphabet, the character for R and L is the same. So sometimes it may. Like if you're using an online translator, it may put it as the wrong one.

[Chris Damaris]

Ah.

[Blaine]

Anyway, I'm Gunther.

[John Risinger]

Hello.

[Blaine]

I think I would. If I was out to play a game show, I think I would like to play in the Mole.

[Barbara]

Oh, the Mole.

[Doug]

Good one.

[Chris Damaris]

I'm going to have to Google that. I don't remember that at all.

[Doug]

Yes, the Mole was great.

[Dax Shepard]

Great.

[Doug]

The newer version I don't love as much as, like, the. The old version.

[Blaine]

I have fought many moles. I can always defeat them. They are easy to defeat. So if I was to come up against them all, I would win every time I see.

[Doug]

You would? Yes.

[Chris Damaris]

Are we thinking of the same show? Are you thinking of the right show?

[Doug]

I think it's a joke based on the fact that he would actually fight a real mole.

[Chris Damaris]

I think you're right. I think you're right.

[John Risinger]

Yeah. I don't know if you noticed this, but there's a long running gag that Chris keeps playing where Gunther doesn't understand the nuance of, like, hyperbole and metaphor and idioms and all that kind of stuff.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Blaine]

Also, I think I'm very good at finding traitors.

[John Risinger]

Gunther, get out of here. We're talking real stuff right now.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. The Mole is another great show. The original one was a network show. It was hosted by Anderson Cooper back in the day. It's been rebooted and I think there's two new seasons on Netflix, if I remember. Again, not a plug for Netflix. If you want to cancel it, go ahead. I don't care. They're not paying us.

[Doug]

They got some good reality shows if you want to check them out.

[Dax Shepard]

The two most recent seasons are very different than the original ones. Everyone killed it with these answers today, guys. I'm super entertained with all of them. These are mainly because these are all game shows I like. So good job, everyone. Give yourself a pat on the back.

[John Risinger]

Yay.

[Chris Damaris]

Wait, really quick, Gus, what would you want to be on?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I didn't even think about answering for myself. I don't have an answer prepared. I think I would like to be. Oh, I know I.

[Barbara]

What?

[Dax Shepard]

I'd be on the Amazing Race.

[Doug]

Really?

[John Risinger]

Are reality shows game shows now? Is that what it is?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, there's a price at the end. There's a million dollars, like you're competing.

[John Risinger]

I'm not arguing it. I'm just coming to that realization that I guess that's like a genre of game shows now.

[Dax Shepard]

I wouldn't even say now. I mean, the Amazing Race and Survivor both started like in 2000, 2001. Like it's like 25 years at this point.

[John Risinger]

But they call them reality shows, I guess, maybe Reality game show.

[Blaine]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[John Risinger]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. You see the seas beneath you begin slowly bubbling and sw. Whirling. And very quickly they begin building an intensity. And a massive swirling whirlpool emerges from amongst the waves. It begins pulling you in like a violent vortex and swallowing both ships down into the never ending void below. A roaring torrent of wind, water and thunder swirl all around you like a herculean drain. Both your ship and ironclad ship are bound by ballista chains, caught in an unending vortex of stormy seas whilst being swallowed into the oblivion. Ironclad screams over the raging tempest.

[Tolv]

Capture my children.

[Dax Shepard]

Feed the rest. Al Gore.

[Chris Damaris]

What?

[Blaine]

What?

[Doug]

Al Gore. The presidential candidate.

[Dax Shepard]

Al Gore. Al Gore. Not Al Gore. Al Gore.

[Blaine]

Al Gore.

[Dax Shepard]

Al Gore.

[Tolv]

Did he not?

[Chris Damaris]

Is there.

[John Risinger]

There's gotta be a different way to pronounce this. That's you saying Al Gore.

[Tolv]

Former Vice President Al Gore.

[Dax Shepard]

Al Gore's very hungry. Feed the rest to Alor.

[John Risinger]

I don't know.

[Chris Damaris]

Feed the rest of Dick Cheney.

[John Risinger]

I love that. Gus, you tried to move past that name so much and we were like, no, you just said the guy who invented the Internet, Adam Ellis, is going.

[Dax Shepard]

To do great when he reads. Is a patron. It's a name from. From our Patreon. Yeah.

[John Risinger]

Al Gore is it, pal? Gore Dude.

[Tolv]

Thanks, man.

[John Risinger]

Thanks.

[Dax Shepard]

Al Gore. Drew Carey. Best friends.

[Chris Damaris]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

The massive armored shark towing ironclad ship surges through the surf to the stern of your ship. Its iron plated jaws chomp voraciously. The six trollings before you point their bone jaw javelins menacingly and charge.

[John Risinger]

So they're not concerned about the fact that we're in a drained.

[Dax Shepard]

They're following orders.

[John Risinger]

No, I mean, like anybody ironclad, his. His people, like, he's just like, get my babies.

[Doug]

I mean, they're professionals, so maybe they're used to these conditions. Who knows?

[John Risinger]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Blaine]

Didn't tolve, like live at the bottom of the ocean for a while.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Blaine]

Like, probably isn't true. They might have some advantages that we do not.

[John Risinger]

All right.

[Tolv]

Seen some things.

[John Risinger]

Are we in combat or are we at a point to make a choice?

[Dax Shepard]

Why don't you roll initiative and then we can make a Choice.

[John Risinger]

Rolling Initiative.

[Dax Shepard]

That is 30.

[Tolv]

20.

[John Risinger]

15.

[Chris Damaris]

8.

[Doug]

Also 15.

[John Risinger]

Jesus, Barbara, get off my bed. What's your.

[Doug]

What's your dex?

[John Risinger]

My dex is 16, so you go first. Okay.

[Doug]

I'm after Natty. Why do I want to say Matid again?

[John Risinger]

You're so quick on the draw with that. Blaine. He's just ready to just, just. I want a reboot of the. Of the Pink Panther with Blaine now. That's what I want.

[Tolv]

Ooh.

[Dax Shepard]

All right. They're charging to. You're up first in the initiative order. So you're going to be the one who makes a decision or figures out what are you all doing here.

[Tolv]

Okay. I say ironclad. As much as I want to end your life today, I just need to, like, hold up the timeout and say like. Like, are you doing this whirlpool? Is this happening? Or is this you? Is this, like. Is this just bad timing? Because we could. We could like, put a pause on this, have a rain check, and then do a rematch, you know, in not a whirlpool. Or I could kill you now in this very epic setting. It's your choice. Really?

[Dax Shepard]

You say all this, and I'll tell you what. 1. Make me a persuasion check, and then I'm gonna give you another check after that. Regardless of the outcome, I'm just letting you know now. Okay.

[Chris Damaris]

Oh, my God, I'm so persuasive. Seven.

[Dax Shepard]

All right. And now make me a perception check.

[Chris Damaris]

That's a 19.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. You make this plea to Ironclad.

[Tolv]

It's not a plea. I'm not begging. It's just like a. Like a very formal request.

[Dax Shepard]

So, you know, you make this cowardly formal request to Ironclad, and you look over at the deck of the Dare Droast, and you see Ironclad just laughing maniacally, storm raging around him.

[Tolv]

Laugh with me.

[Barbara]

So good.

[Dax Shepard]

Got you laughing.

[Tolv]

I don't know.

[John Risinger]

How much of Blaine's turn did that take?

[Dax Shepard]

I'll say none, because it's role play, decision making stuff.

[Chris Damaris]

Okay, what did my perception reveal? Was it just that he was laughing his butt off?

[Dax Shepard]

He doesn't seem like he's. He's swayed at all by your request.

[Tolv]

Okay, well, I guess it's combat time. One more insult, if I may. To, to, to listen. I haven't seen Ironclad in so long. I have so many things that I want to tell him. I've been thinking about about this moment while walking the bottom of the ocean, you know, so, hey, Ironclad, it looks like you generally downgraded on your military force. What are these little things? What are they called?

[Doug]

Trolling.

[Dax Shepard]

Trolling.

[Blaine]

Nailed it.

[Tolv]

Is it because it's like a pun? Because you like, troll? Like, like water?

[Dax Shepard]

That's actually really good. That's pretty good. I'll give you that one. I like it.

[Tolv]

Okay, I rage.

[Chris Damaris]

And then how far away am I.

[Tolv]

From the nearest trolling?

[Dax Shepard]

There's six of them total. The closest one we'll say is 15ft away.

[Tolv]

Oh, okay.

[Chris Damaris]

Let me make sure if my shield is active. It looks like it is. I'm gonna keep it active for now just in case. These guys are super powerful, but I don't think they are. They're trollings. I'm gonna hit one of them with the warhammer. That closest one.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so you close the distance angrily swinging your warhammer with one hand.

[Tolv]

That is a 16.

[Dax Shepard]

That hits good.

[Tolv]

And then here's a bludgeoning for you.

[Chris Damaris]

Wowee. Zowie. That's a 12. That's one handed, by the way.

[Dax Shepard]

Ooh, yeah, you hit the trolling and it, like, it does that thing where, like, it spins him around and he's like, dazed and bloodied and seems like he doesn't know which direction is which.

[Chris Damaris]

I also have plus 2 from Rage, so it's 14 technically.

[Dax Shepard]

And then like a tree in the forest being felled by lumberjacks, he falls over on the ground onto his back.

[Tolv]

Oh, good thing I rage. That was cool. You see that one Shotted your trolling. Ironclad. I bet you wish you had a bunch of Thaumatex.

[Dax Shepard]

Dork. Dork. Come. This is a family friendly podcast. Let's Watch your language. Whoa.

[Tolv]

Yeah.

[Blaine]

If you did chum. Like, chum as in another fish pun.

[Tolv]

That's good.

[Dax Shepard]

That's good.

[Chris Damaris]

All right, and then I'm gonna move on to my second attack, and I'm gonna hit the next nearest trolling.

[Tolv]

Okay, Going trolling for trollings.

[John Risinger]

There you go.

[Chris Damaris]

Oh, my God. Are you pooping on me right now? That was a one.

[John Risinger]

I feel like that's worse than the expletive.

[Dax Shepard]

Believe it or not, that is a miss.

[Tolv]

Unless someone had, like, an inspiration die, you know, be a shame if I, like, failed critically in front of my old big bad guy.

[Doug]

Yeah, but you did.

[Tolv]

Yeah. Unless someone had, like, you know, like, an inspiration, like a heroic inspiration, they would be a hero to told.

[Blaine]

I don't.

[Tolv]

Naughty Natty.

[John Risinger]

I don't have one.

[Tolv]

I don't have one either. God alike.

[John Risinger]

You know, just take the loss, you big baby.

[Dax Shepard]

I'll tell you what, Blaine, since you asked so nicely, roll a D4. Low is bad. High is good.

[John Risinger]

You sure you want to set this precedent?

[Blaine]

I was about to say I didn't know you could do this.

[Dax Shepard]

That's a one.

[Chris Damaris]

But I think if you want to give me an inspiration die on my reroll D4.

[Dax Shepard]

It's funny. You've been talking so much trash about the trollings and your battle prowess against them that maybe you were distracted. And as you take your second swing, the warhammer flies out of your hands and gets swallowed by the whirlpool. It sinks to the bottom of the sea.

[Tolv]

Daisy. Daisy, wait.

[Doug]

You lost your warhammer.

[Blaine]

Should have used two hands.

[Chris Damaris]

I guess I did.

[Tolv]

Yeah, it was slowing me down. Ironclad.

[Chris Damaris]

Now I shall kill you with a shield.

[Tolv]

Captain America, your butt.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, that's it for T.O. yeah, so two of the trollings are going to close the distance around toll. Actually, I tell you what. All the remaining trollings are going to gather up at this point.

[Tolv]

Yeah, sure. Why not?

[Doug]

Who else is in initiative, by the way, with us? Like, is Elva in there? Is Las Gil?

[Dax Shepard]

That's a great question, Barb. In order to not slow down combat, why don't if one of you wants to call on them during your turn, they can assist you in that turn. That way we don't have to worry about rolling their initiative. Taking time for all of that. Let's just try to streamline things a little bit.

[Doug]

Gotcha.

[Tolv]

Elva, do you have an inspiration die? Do you want to, like, you know.

[Dax Shepard]

Two of the trollings close around you tolf, and they begin trying to use their pointy spears to attack at you. Make me a. I'll give you the choice. Either a strength or a dexterity check.

[Chris Damaris]

Ooh, I'm gonna have to go with which one is higher strength. They're the same, but I feel like I should rely on strength. That is a 13.

[Dax Shepard]

They begin poking at you, but it's a strange attack. It's not like they're stabbing into your. I would say your FL slash, but they're not stabbing into your. Your body. It's almost like they're using their javelins to kind of pick off pieces of your armor.

[John Risinger]

Oh, like a rend.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, kind of. It's like the. The points are slicing at you and also kind of like removing your armor that you're using at the moment. So you take 20 points of damage.

[John Risinger]

Oh.

[Dax Shepard]

You get a minus two to your armor class.

[Chris Damaris]

I'm gonna do 10 damage because I'm raging.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, right, right, right.

[Chris Damaris]

And then, then how do I adjust my armor?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, just make a note for now, like, mentally.

[Tolv]

Okay. Stop tickling me. What is this weird strategy? Oh, my gosh. See who you gonna make me naked.

[Dax Shepard]

The remaining three trollings, like rustle around in their sacks, pull out something, and they begin lobbing objects at the other three members of the party. All three of you make dexterity saving throw throws objects. I'll describe them in. In a bit once we determine whether they hit you or not.

[Doug]

12.

[Chris Damaris]

They're brown and squishy.

[Blaine]

17.

[John Risinger]

6.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, so 12 from Doug, a 17 from Gunther, and a 6 from Natty, which are all failures. You all begin getting pelted with what appear to be severed limbs. Ah. Severed arms and legs. Begin raining down on the three of you. Bludgeoning you and hitting you all over, doing 10 points of bludgeoning damage to each of you.

[Tolv]

Wow. The poop would have been better. Gosh.

[Dax Shepard]

Ah.

[Blaine]

You have found the remains of my last foes.

[Tolv]

Haha.

[Dax Shepard]

I love the Gunther trash talk. Natty, you're up. Then after Natty is Doug, then Gunther.

[John Risinger]

Okay, you said there were six trollings and two went to attack. Told one got killed, right?

[Dax Shepard]

There were six. One got killed before their action. So there are two attacking Tolv and three who were lobbing those limbs.

[John Risinger]

And the three that are lobbing their limbs, are they in a group?

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[John Risinger]

Okay.

[Tolv]

Careful, Natty. They are armed.

[Dax Shepard]

That's pretty good.

[John Risinger]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Nice.

[John Risinger]

There it is. Natty wants to try something out that she's been working with Captain Grumbles and Geeky for Gigi's attack. Okay. And Natty Yells out, Grumbles initiate attack. Topsy Toddler. And Captain Grumbles goes and he picks up Gigi. Doesn't matter if Giggy wants to be picked up or not. It's actually fine if he doesn't want to. Cause Giggy's holding his axe. And Captain Grumbles, holding Giggy out in front of him, just rushes towards those trollings as Giggy just swipes around and tries to hit the first thing he can.

[Dax Shepard]

All right. Yeah, let's do it.

[John Risinger]

I'm just gonna roll for his basic attack. I don't think you've ever given me a precedent for his axe. 17 plus 22.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah, that's good.

[John Risinger]

3 plus 3 slashing damage. So 6 slashing damage.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[John Risinger]

And his, like, rend has a poisoning effect, but he's using the axe, so I assume that doesn't proc.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, what applies the poison? Is it, like, his claws or his mouth? Or is there, like, further explanation of where it comes from?

[John Risinger]

The attack is called rend, and it's a melee attack. I think it's just maybe like a bite or a claw. I don't know.

[Dax Shepard]

That's what I'm thinking. Yeah.

[John Risinger]

So, yeah. Six slashing damage to a troll. I'm fine with that.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. The troll kind of stumbles a little bit, but regains its composure and stands its ground.

[John Risinger]

Well, he won't for very long because now he's gonna shoot him.

[Tolv]

Nice.

[John Risinger]

Natty goes. Good job, baby. And points a finger at that guy. Rolls a. What do I get to that? Plus seven. So it rolls a 23.

[Dax Shepard]

Yep. Good.

[Doug]

Giggy's not gonna get hit by that, is it?

[John Risinger]

No. D10. 7 plus 4 plus 3. 14.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow, that's impressive. And you were targeting the one that Giggy hit, right?

[John Risinger]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

That trolling falls to the ground as well, joining its friend in a long nap.

[Tolv]

Nice.

[John Risinger]

I get to blast again.

[Dax Shepard]

So anyway, Natty started blasting.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah.

[John Risinger]

And so I. I guess I'll just go for another trolling where. Where my baby is. But that's not gonna work. That's a two plus a seven. So nine.

[Dax Shepard]

That is not enough. Unfortunately, that's not true.

[Tolv]

I give inspiration die to Natty.

[John Risinger]

Really?

[Tolv]

I got to lead by example.

[Doug]

Twist of a century.

[John Risinger]

I just rolled a nat 20.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh.

[Tolv]

I am glad you. You did that.

[John Risinger]

Good job. That's a good use.

[Dax Shepard]

We'll role play this a little bit to. How are you going to inspire Natty here in this moment?

[John Risinger]

I like it.

[Tolv]

I say, come on, Nat. You can do better. Your baby Giggy is watching his mama now. Impress him.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I like it. Yeah.

[John Risinger]

Yes. I'm gonna roll for damage on that 10. Plus 4, plus 3. So 7. No, not plus 3, but 14. 14 damage, force damage.

[Chris Damaris]

Plus crit. Right.

[Dax Shepard]

You crit is crit. Plus another 10.

[John Risinger]

Yeah. So 24.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow.

[Tolv]

You see that? Ironclad. You see how good of a parent's Natty is to Gigi? This could.

[John Risinger]

I'm liking this.

[Dax Shepard]

That trolling gets blasted into a couple of different pieces that fall to the floor.

[John Risinger]

All right, that's two for me.

[Dax Shepard]

That's. You're like Gimley here.

[John Risinger]

Well, I keep track of everybody I. I send to my wife.

[Doug]

You have it like a ticker sheet?

[John Risinger]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're on the guest list for the wedding.

[Doug]

The wedding for your existing wife.

[John Risinger]

We're having. We're married, but we haven't gotten to have the ceremony.

[Doug]

You know, like vow renewal or something like that.

[Tolv]

Buffet style or table delivery or.

[John Risinger]

You know, I'm a fan of a buffet.

[Tolv]

Oh.

[John Risinger]

Because it's usually you get to go and pick what you want, and I just love saying that word. It sounds fancy.

[Tolv]

I mean, I have to say, you're incentivizing us to stop you from killing because there's just going to be more people in the buffet line. I'm hungry.

[John Risinger]

I like that reasoning.

[Dax Shepard]

Anything else, Natty?

[John Risinger]

I'm done.

[Dax Shepard]

Before we move on, I do want to mention this. Micah says that we've talked about this before and that Natty also said buffet that previous time as well, so it's definitely settled canon.

[John Risinger]

Oh, really?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Blaine]

Didn't we talk about it, like, recently?

[Doug]

I'll tell you what, we talked about it before my wedding, and a lot of you guys said you prefer buffet, and I was very hurt because I did a plated dinner for my wedding, and I was like, they're not gonna like my dinner.

[Chris Damaris]

I love plated dinner. I don't have to walk in nowhere.

[Doug]

Everyone gets in the same time.

[Chris Damaris]

I don't like what I become around a buffet because when I kick into my, like, like, carnal instinct income to consume as much as possible.

[John Risinger]

It's like situation.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, it's a survival caveman part of my brain. It's like, you must consume.

[Barbara]

Load up.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Speaking of consumption, Doug, I believe you are up.

[Barbara]

Guys, I just want to say they no longer have a leg up on us.

[Doug]

And he holds up one of the legs.

[Dax Shepard]

Doug, make me a perception check.

[Barbara]

Okay, you got it.

[Chris Damaris]

We're gonna find out what kind of leg it is today.

[Dax Shepard]

17 the leg's still wriggling in your hand.

[Doug]

I assume they're like robotic?

[Dax Shepard]

No.

[Doug]

Are they like actual, like human fleshy limbs?

[Dax Shepard]

They're smaller than human. They're small, but yeah, it is still kicking and trying to like, kick you in the face as you pick it up.

[Doug]

Could I tell what type of creature?

[Dax Shepard]

Make me another perception check here.

[Barbara]

Seven.

[Dax Shepard]

Maybe you're crazy, Doug, but it looks like a trolling leg. Maybe it's cuz trollings are in front of you and that's what you have in mind. But it. It seems like the same size of leg as the creatures that you're encountering right now.

[John Risinger]

What's a trolling?

[Dax Shepard]

Like a small troll? Let me see. I think I have a physical, so.

[John Risinger]

I just didn't know if it was like anything special. So it is a, a, just a smaller version of a troll.

[Dax Shepard]

It's a, like a warty humanoid, gray, green muscles, glowing red eyes.

[John Risinger]

Okay. Okay.

[Doug]

And these like, legs seem to match.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[John Risinger]

With your roll of a seven.

[Doug]

Oh, yeah. But maybe it's one of those really easy ones since they're right in front of me.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, what do you want to do, Doug?

[Doug]

So the ones that were throwing the limbs at us, Natty blasted one of them to sleep. Correct.

[Dax Shepard]

I believe Natty blasted two of them.

[Doug]

So there's two remaining.

[Dax Shepard]

There's one remaining over there. That was one of the throwers. And then two remaining around 12 in melee range.

[Doug]

Okay. They're in melee range of 12, so if I did an area of attack, that type thing to might get in the way.

[Dax Shepard]

Tell me what you want to do and we'll see. We'll see. Maybe we can like angle it or finagle it to. To work out.

[Doug]

Well, I wanted to ask if any of them were at the edge of the boat, like to the point where if they got hit real bad, they might topple over.

[Dax Shepard]

Ooh, it's definitely a possibility if you angle like a forced attack or something in that direction.

[Doug]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Just for transparency, they may make a dexterity check or something to see if they're able to keep their feet under them for sure.

[Doug]

I'm gonna just try to shoot my cross crossbow at one of the ones attacking tolve or near tolve.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Yeah.

[Barbara]

Nice.

[Doug]

23.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah, that's great.

[Doug]

That will do four points of damage.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. The crossbow bolt impacts one of those trollings who looks down at it and looks up at you and snarls and could I.

[Doug]

Actually, this is a bonus action that I meant to say before. Before I rolled my damage. Could I also cast branding smite?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. What does that do?

[Doug]

The bonus action. And the next time you hit a creature with a weapon attack before the spell ends, the weapon gleams with astral radiance as you strike the attack deals an extra 2d6 Radiant damage to the target.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow. Yeah, absolutely. So, yeah, go and roll.

[Tolv]

That won't be snarling for long.

[Doug]

That's an extra six points of damage.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so your crossbow bolt flies through, striking it. The trolling looks down at it, and as the brandy smite takes hold, it begins to glow. And, you know, the radiant damage impacts the trolling, and the trolling kind of tries to shield its eyes from the glow, but it becomes too much, and the trolling loses its balance and falls over the railing of the ship into the swirling whirlpool below.

[Doug]

And could I listen out for a little splash sound?

[Dax Shepard]

I'm gonna tell you what you can. It's gonna be very difficult to hear because of the storm raging. Make me an investigation. Check at disadvantage to see if you hear it.

[Doug]

Okay. 7.

[Dax Shepard]

You're not sure if you can hear it or not. You hear the trolling yelling as it falls over the edge, but you. You just can't make out a splash. It's just too loud. Swirling around you.

[Chris Damaris]

Hov tries to cover and goes.

[Barbara]

Got him.

[John Risinger]

Gus, the way you were describing that, it was like. Almost like you were describing how the vampires would die, like in the Blade movies.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah.

[Blaine]

But then.

[John Risinger]

But then he just. He fell back. I was like, oh, okay.

[Chris Damaris]

I was thinking Raiders. Whenever the lightning hits him, and then, like, beams of light come out of their mouth and.

[John Risinger]

Or he, like, literally a steak. Like, a bolt went into him. And I was just thinking of, like, you know, Wesley Snipes Blade.

[Dax Shepard]

Look, anything else you can do, Doug?

[Doug]

I think that's it. That's my turn.

[Dax Shepard]

All right.

[Chris Damaris]

Don't you have a Blade tattoo? Sorry to.

[Dax Shepard]

Right over here.

[Doug]

You know, he does.

[Dax Shepard]

Maybe talk about that in a second. Wind if I'm on it.

[John Risinger]

Hello, everybody. John Rising here to talk to you about business. I'm a business owner. I've started my own business in the last year. Well, I started my own. I did it with six other people. But one thing we couldn't predict when we started this whole shebang was how many different hats we all were going to have to wear to make this thing work. But I've got some good news. I got one hat you can pass off to someone else, and that someone else is your new business partner. Shopify Shopify is fantastic. It's the commerce platform behind millions of businesses all around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the U.S. i mean they've even got people like Mattel using their product. It's pretty fantastic. So I want to let you know you can turn your big business idea into some real. You want to use Shopify and get them on your side. You can sign up for your $1 per month trial and selling today at shopify.com dragon that's right. If you go to shopify.com dragon you can get a little discount. You can start your business, make some money and you do that all once again by going to shopify.com dragon thanks y'.

[Tolv]

All.

[Dax Shepard]

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[Kristen Bell]

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[Dax Shepard]

You can Venmo that.

[Kristen Bell]

Visit Venmo Me Debit to learn more. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp bank and a pursuant to license by MasterCard International Inc. The card may be used everywhere. Mastercard is accepted. Venmo purchase restrictions apply.

[Blaine]

Gunther Europe I have a question about this harpoon that is attached to our ship. Okay, where is it and is how like embedded into the ship is it.

[Dax Shepard]

So I'm not going to go back and look up the exact wording of it, but I'll give you a broad explanation. It was a ballista arrow that was fired and then split off into multiple, like, ballista shafts that impacted your ship. So it started as one, spread out, and now there's, like, several that are impacted into your ship and holding on. So if you were thinking about, like, going and trying to remove it, it would take a while because there's a few.

[Blaine]

There's several. Right, Right. How many?

[Dax Shepard]

I believe it was three.

[Blaine]

Three.

[Dax Shepard]

If you're gonna do something with that, I'm gonna go back and double check. I'm just saying three to give an idea of where it is, more or less.

[Blaine]

I guess I could just. We could kill these guys first and then deal with it.

[Dax Shepard]

There's only two trollings left on the deck. One that's threatening to. And another one that was one of the limb throwers.

[John Risinger]

All right.

[Tolv]

It's got your name on it.

[Barbara]

Gunther.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah.

[Blaine]

Gunther reaches into his pouch and pulls his flail and goes ha, ha, ha. And throws it off. Off the board.

[Chris Damaris]

I also do not need my weapon. What solidarity.

[Blaine]

Yeah. And then jumps and can he try and run and jump and stab that one by to Absolutely.

[Dax Shepard]

I love the camaraderie here by gunther.

[Blaine]

That's a nat 20.

[John Risinger]

All right.

[Blaine]

28.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. That clearly hits.

[Blaine]

So that's. How does that work out?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I'll modify it. So. Yeah. Yeah. The DND beyond did that thing where it automatically rolls the crit damage, but we do the thing where one of the die is at maximum damage. So it says 15, but that's actually 22 points of damage.

[Tolv]

That sounds good.

[Blaine]

I'll take that.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. So you run at that trolling with your rapier, right? Is that what you said?

[John Risinger]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And skewer the trolling, which falls limp.

[Blaine]

On your rapier just to flavor it a little. Can I lift it up, swing it around, and fling it off the ship?

[Chris Damaris]

Oh, strong is Gunther.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Make a strength. Check.

[Blaine]

Okay. That's the 17.

[John Risinger]

It's not bad.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. You're able to lift it up. It takes both hands, but you're able to pick the trolling up and flick it off of your rapier into the swirling whirlpool.

[Blaine]

We need nothing in this ship. And then Gunther wants to run and just throw. He's throwing everything off the ship. He wants to run and go and do the same thing on that last remaining trolling.

[Dax Shepard]

Charge at it. Yeah. And attack it. Okay. Yeah. Make your attack.

[Blaine]

Roll 23.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, that hits.

[Blaine]

Okay. And that's 12 damage. Does it look like they're still alive?

[Dax Shepard]

It seems like it's. It's barely hanging on.

[Blaine]

All right, then I'm gonna use a superiority dice to precision attack, and I'll add the superiority die to the roll. Oh, wait, no, sorry. That's not to the damage. I'm sorry.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, it's just to the attack.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm gonna be honest with you, Chris. I said it was barely hanging on so you could add damage or do whatever cool thing it was that you. You had in mind. It's. It was actually dead. I. I was giving you to do cool stuff.

[Doug]

So generous.

[Dax Shepard]

So, yeah, it falls limp. Is that it for your turn, Gunther?

[Blaine]

Yes. And now Gunther looks to Captain. Not. What's his name? Garbles or giggle. What's his name?

[Chris Damaris]

Grumbles.

[Blaine]

Not Grumbles, but Captain Tolls.

[Dax Shepard]

Ironclad.

[Chris Damaris]

Oh, Ironclad.

[Blaine]

Captain to.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, what should we do now?

[John Risinger]

Oh, I'm the captain now. Yeah.

[Tolv]

Wait, so all of the trollings are dead? Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Doug]

All the ones that boarded? Yeah.

[Tolv]

Okay, so we've, like, thoroughly embarrassed Ironclad with his boarding party of little silly boys. I think we have to talk trash. So if you could all join me in mocking Ironclad, I think that that's the next best method of attack.

[John Risinger]

I don't think your mama's loved you enough, and you're taking all these problems out on other people, and you need to spend some time introspectively dealing with your own problems so you don't make them up people's problems.

[Tolv]

I think you are a mother and you deserve all the bad things, including paper cuts and splinters, unstopped toes.

[Doug]

Stubbed toes.

[Barbara]

I think that you are stupid.

[John Risinger]

Micah. Just bleep out the word. Barbara says, so it sounds like it's a worse word than it was.

[Dax Shepard]

Like a really long bleep.

[Barbara]

I think that you. Oh, you. I've heard that's quite the insult.

[Blaine]

I am saying that I am Ironclad. You're over there because you look smelly.

[Tolv]

Oh.

[Barbara]

Oh. Got him.

[Tolv]

What now? Ironclad. Alvar, do you have anything cool to say? Go ahead.

[John Risinger]

Oh, yeah. You are a bad father.

[Dax Shepard]

You all are hurling all these insults at Ironclad, and as you know, he's receiving them. It seems like he's just gripping tighter and tighter onto the wheel of his ship.

[John Risinger]

Why?

[Dax Shepard]

You realize why? Because all of a sudden, your ship suddenly smashes into a solid seabed, jostling you all about everyone make a dexterity saving throw.

[John Risinger]

Like we hit the the floor.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Doug]

15, 20.

[John Risinger]

I rolled a seven plus I think three. So 10, 17.

[Dax Shepard]

It so startles you, Natty, that it knocks you off your feet and you just lose your footing and fall down onto the deck of the ship.

[John Risinger]

So I'm just like prone?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, just like fall on your butt sitting down.

[John Risinger]

Okay, well my butt is padded, so I think I'm okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Thank God. No damage. Everyone make M.E. a investigation. Check.

[Tolv]

8, 6, 13, 14.

[Dax Shepard]

You all look around and you know everyone. You can tell that it seems like you're on a solid seabed at the bottom of an ocean. And it's like you're bordered by a cyclonian column of swirling water around and above tolve. And Doug, you're able to continue looking around and you see that on the seabed around you, it's carpeted by a myriad of shipwrecks, treasure and bones.

[Tolv]

Cool.

[John Risinger]

It's like the end of A Little Mermaid.

[Doug]

Yeah, when Ursula's are all going like Moses.

[Tolv]

Is that you? Wrong place, wrong time, Homie.

[Doug]

So he said like shipwrecks, treasure and bones.

[John Risinger]

This might be where ironclad. Like this might be his spot. Like, do you think he planned this?

[Barbara]

I don't know.

[Tolv]

I mean this spot does look familiar. Like I think ironclad.

[John Risinger]

Is he distressed or does he feel like this is the norm?

[Dax Shepard]

He has a big smile on his.

[Blaine]

Face, but like his ship is attached to ours. So like us being grounded, won't that also stop his ship?

[Doug]

No, it sounds like this is his intention.

[Blaine]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

His ship is also on the seabed as well. Alongside yours.

[Tolv]

Always was a poopy driver. Look at those.

[Dax Shepard]

Everyone make me a wisdom check.

[John Risinger]

That's a one. So no.

[Dax Shepard]

Five, eight.

[Chris Damaris]

Come on, Doug.

[Doug]

Nine.

[John Risinger]

Wow, we're. Hey, is that what you wanted, Gus? You want us what?

[Dax Shepard]

What?

[John Risinger]

What do we learn with a 9?

[Tolv]

Do we see my hammer?

[John Risinger]

What do we.

[Dax Shepard]

This party's been better about intelligence and wisdom than previous campaigns. But it's still a weak point.

[Doug]

I have a plus three, but I just rolled low mud.

[John Risinger]

And Bart had wisdom to handle. It's just. It's just intelligence. We just. Okay, I had wisdom in the handle.

[Dax Shepard]

Last Giel walks over to you, Doug, they are looking around wide eyed and says I think this might be Nanimo.

[John Risinger]

That's where we were trying to go, wasn't it?

[Barbara]

Is this where they had the. The keeping the sea drinkle?

[Tolv]

This could be the place. It is very difficult to find.

[Barbara]

I wonder why Ironclad would take us right here.

[John Risinger]

That's if he's been doing this on purpose. He looks like he just might be crazy, and so he's smiling because of the crazies.

[Blaine]

Could Ironclad be the sea drinker?

[Tolv]

No, definitely not.

[Dax Shepard]

Laskiel continues talking to you, Doug.

[Tolv]

The location of Nanimo seems to change without rhyme or reason. Those who've been here have never been heard from again. Some say it holds the secret to eternal life, while others say it's an unending vortex.

[Barbara]

Well, based on what I'm seeing, I think the Neville pointing vortex could be a little more accurate.

[Blaine]

But those legs and arms were still alive, even though they were dead.

[John Risinger]

Nanimo was where we were trying to head to, right?

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[John Risinger]

And we were trying to head to where they might be keeping the sea drinker, which we thought was Nanima. Or did Nanimo have information as to where the sea drinker was?

[Dax Shepard]

You are under the impression this is where the sea drinker is.

[John Risinger]

Okay, thank you, Gus.

[Blaine]

Do we see anyone around here that looks like they might be, you know, thirsting for the sea?

[Dax Shepard]

Ironclad looks a little parched.

[John Risinger]

Can Natty get off the boat?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, you can stand up and get off and go on the seabed. Ironclad would probably call out to Tolv at this point to and Elva, and say, what say you? Shall we work together and find the sea drinker? Or do you want to end this once and for all?

[Tolv]

I want you to eat my butt. I mean, come on. You think you're going to work together? Body. Body. Me and Elva hate you.

[John Risinger]

Although I'm kind of curious. Why do you want the sea drinker?

[Dax Shepard]

Why wouldn't I? The sea drinker would be a powerful ally. But have it your way. Ironclad signals to his remaining trollings on his ship, and they begin racing to one of the nearby shipwrecks.

[Tolv]

Okay. McDonald's. Jeez.

[John Risinger]

No, that's not.

[Tolv]

That's Burger King. Okay, BK, have it your way.

[Blaine]

We should go look for also the sea drinker. Yeah.

[John Risinger]

Okay. It's like Gus's favorite game show, Amazing Race.

[Barbara]

I know it's not Korean, but Doug also knows a little bit of Japanese and knows that Nanimo means nothing.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh.

[John Risinger]

Oh, okay.

[Barbara]

That's a very. If this place is anything like that word's meaning, it might mean this is just nothing.

[John Risinger]

We'll have to find out.

[Chris Damaris]

Okay, we have a map of where the sea drinker location is, right?

[John Risinger]

No, Laskill has a map, which means.

[Doug]

We have a map.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, so Laskil has a map of the area and they know where Nanamo is. And that is presumably where the sea drinker is. Just to be clear about what specific information is available.

[Tolv]

Do we have any, like, freaky deaky magic things that could help us find it? Like the. The eye gazer thing?

[John Risinger]

We got our own eyes. Let's go look.

[Tolv]

Okay.

[John Risinger]

Yeah.

[Barbara]

Well, I have a question for Tov. Do you at all know what the sea drinker is supposed to look like or like how they, you know, present themselves?

[Chris Damaris]

Gus. Do I? Because I know that Bjorn knew them and had some sort of relationship with them. Did I ever encounter them? Did that ever cross over into my.

[Dax Shepard]

Hole, make me a history check?

[Chris Damaris]

You know, I majored in history at UT once.

[John Risinger]

What do you mean you didn't?

[Chris Damaris]

I did. Yeah. It is because I just got a nat 20, thank you very much.

[Dax Shepard]

Duh.

[Tolv]

Okay, so.

[Chris Damaris]

So I. I got into the college with a history major and then I switched. The moment that they let me in.

[Doug]

I was like, you fooled me.

[John Risinger]

Yeah.

[Chris Damaris]

I wrote a whole essay about how my dad's a history teacher, how I'm.

[Tolv]

So passionate about history. Lies.

[Dax Shepard]

You feel like you've seen old relic art depicting the sea drinker and you think you could recall what those art pieces depict the sea drinker looking like?

[Tolv]

Oh, my gosh, you're so right. It is a squid like creature with tendrils on face, period. Body made of water, period.

[Chris Damaris]

That's from memory.

[Blaine]

What if we told Ironclad that we do want to team up and then we do not. And then we fight and then we double cross? Yes.

[Tolv]

Just going to be lowering myself to his level if I do that. Elva, what do you think?

[Dax Shepard]

Ironclad's out of communication range. Ironclad has booked it and taken off with the trollings. And they are investigating a shipwreck.

[Tolv]

Okay. Well, in this situation, we are the American Gladiators. The contestant has the head start. Now it's our turn to beat their bums and to embarrass them because they.

[Chris Damaris]

Have such a head start.

[Tolv]

So let's go, gang.

[Blaine]

Cool.

[Tolv]

Hop off the ship.

[Blaine]

Got there. Follows.

[Doug]

So we're able to like, easily explore this area because we're not underwater anymore. That's like, kind of cleared.

[Dax Shepard]

Correct. It's almost like a small sandy island at the bottom of the sea that's bordered by the whirlpool. Like you're in the eye of it. And imagine the eye goes from the surface of the ocean straight down to the bottom and you're at the Bottom of this swirling whirlpool.

[Chris Damaris]

And how big of a space is it? Like arena sized or like bigger?

[Dax Shepard]

It's pretty big. You're looking around. There's at least eight different shipwrecks you see down here.

[Blaine]

Gotcha.

[Barbara]

Wow.

[Chris Damaris]

And where do they seem to be heading?

[Dax Shepard]

They're heading towards a half buried frigate that appears to be upside down.

[Chris Damaris]

Does it have like a name on it or anything like that? Or is there anything that makes it stand out?

[Dax Shepard]

Since it's upside down, you can't see like where the name would be. It's buried in the sand.

[Tolv]

Okay. I mean, I guess we could try to head them off.

[John Risinger]

Let's go to our own ship.

[Tolv]

Do you think we're playing like guessy Gessi, like whoever? Yeah. Okay.

[John Risinger]

I thought that. That before I saw that Gustavo just rolled a dice to see which ship they go to.

[Doug]

Yeah, I saw that.

[John Risinger]

I'm being serious. I thought that before I was like, they're probably going to go look for one and we should go look for one. But then it was confirmed when I saw that.

[Chris Damaris]

Okay, really quick, Gus. What are the different ships?

[Tolv]

What are.

[John Risinger]

What are our options?

[Dax Shepard]

You see a dinghy, a raft, a long boat, a sloop, a brigantine, a frigate. Which ironclad is going to A man of war and a ship of the line.

[Blaine]

You're really testing our nautical knowledge here.

[Doug]

Today I learned there's actually that many names and types of boats.

[Blaine]

What was the last three?

[Dax Shepard]

Frigate, Manowar and ship of the line.

[Blaine]

Maybe the man of war. Manowar is big, right?

[John Risinger]

I have a differing opinion. And so maybe I could go check out my own boat while you guys go check that. I don't want to like stop you from going where you want to go.

[Barbara]

I got stung by a man o war when I was a child and really hurt.

[Tolv]

I'm so stunned. Sorry to hear that.

[Doug]

It was awful.

[John Risinger]

We got to do something. Natty goes to the raft.

[Blaine]

We shall split into two.

[John Risinger]

Sure.

[Doug]

I'll go with Natty.

[John Risinger]

Okay.

[Tolv]

You and me, Gunther. We are going to the Manowar.

[Blaine]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. I'm going to do Natty and Doug first Because Natty fed the raft. Remind me if I forget that you said man of war plane.

[Blaine]

Okay, if one of us discovers it, we do the secret whistle.

[Tolv]

Go ahead.

[Barbara]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Blaine]

Gunther can't whistle.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, sounds. Frogs can whistle.

[Chris Damaris]

I saw Chris really trying.

[Tolv]

He pursed his lips and he gave up pretty quickly.

[Dax Shepard]

Maddie and Doug, you make a beeline for the raft. And as you approach it, you can see that the raft is skewered by some kind of razor sharp coral.

[Barbara]

Do you have a, like a knife or anything like that?

[John Risinger]

For what?

[Barbara]

To cut the coral off?

[John Risinger]

No, it's just stranded from that. What are you thinking that we got to cut it free for?

[Doug]

I thought it was like covering the entrance.

[John Risinger]

Like it was like creating a. Like a bramble kind of. Kind of a situation.

[Doug]

Like a barrier?

[John Risinger]

Yeah. Is that what what it is, Gus.

[Blaine]

Or is it just like reef?

[Dax Shepard]

No, it's just like through the middle. You can work your way around it.

[John Risinger]

Okay, we work our way around it. Is it a complex raft or is it like Huckleberry Finn raft, let's say between the two.

[Dax Shepard]

It's not just like a. Okay, a bunch of logs tied together. But it's not like a huge ship either. Think of like an emergency life raft. Like an escape raft. Like you're getting off the Titanic kind of deal.

[Doug]

Like a little bigger than Tom Hanks raft in.

[Dax Shepard]

There's no bigger than a bread box.

[John Risinger]

Then Natty would like to investigate the raft.

[Doug]

Me too.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Both of you make a investigation check.

[John Risinger]

Plus ones. 1812.

[Dax Shepard]

Just for fun, both of you roll me a 20 sided die.

[Doug]

Oh, what's gonna come out of here?

[Chris Damaris]

I think he's gonna determine if you taint the endangered coral.

[Doug]

Not 20.

[John Risinger]

Nice. Hopefully it's good, Nat. 20's gotta be good. It's always good, Gus.

[Doug]

For how many creatures come out of this thing and attack.

[John Risinger]

Oh.

[Dax Shepard]

As you're, you know, kind of looking around and investigating Natty, you see a poster that seems to be skewered by some of the coral that's flapping around in the wind.

[John Risinger]

Okay, well, I'll go look at the poster. Since you're bringing it up.

[Dax Shepard]

You pick it up and flip it over and it's a wanted poster.

[John Risinger]

4.

[Dax Shepard]

And I'm going to slack you what it says.

[Chris Damaris]

What does it say?

[Dax Shepard]

Share with the class, Doug. As you're looking around, you see a skull on the raft and you know, you kind of investigate a little bit. You kick it over and it seems like it has one glowing gray socket.

[John Risinger]

Can I make a request, John? Can John make a request?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[John Risinger]

We haven't done this in a while, but I'm actually going to request request this to happen. I want to tell Doug what I'm seeing, but I don't want to tell the other two. So you guys take your headphones off.

[Chris Damaris]

Give us a thumbs up whenever you're done.

[John Risinger]

Like mute it and take it off. I don't want you to Hear a single thing I say. Okay. Hey, Doug, can you come over here real quick?

[Barbara]

Yeah. Where am I seeing?

[John Risinger]

I show Doug the poster, and it has Gunther's face on it.

[Barbara]

Oh, my God.

[John Risinger]

And it says, reward 100 gold pieces. Pieces. Send word via raven or bring to Sky Blue Falls prison. It's like a walnut poster.

[Barbara]

100 gold is a lot of gold.

[Dax Shepard]

I want to clarify. It's actually a thousand gold.

[John Risinger]

Thousand. Sorry, I misread that.

[Dax Shepard]

Thousand.

[Doug]

That's a lot of gold.

[John Risinger]

I feel like we should maybe hold this information to ourselves for just a little bit. Not forever. Just a little bit.

[Barbara]

Just until this episode comes out and they could actually listen to this conversation happen.

[John Risinger]

Stop acting like to. Okay, so. Okay. So that's what's happening. Okay, okay, okay.

[Barbara]

Just, I guess just like maybe fold it up and pocket it or something like that.

[John Risinger]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Natty does that.

[Dax Shepard]

You can give him a thumbs up, Gunther.

[Tolv]

It seems like Natty and Doug are having a great time. They're talking very excitingly and laughing. I wonder what happened.

[Barbara]

Guys, I found this skull.

[Tolv]

It's.

[Barbara]

It's got like a glowing gray socket in it.

[Tolv]

Steel eye.

[Barbara]

Does anyone recognize it?

[Doug]

And I like holding it up to everybody.

[Dax Shepard]

As you touch it and hold it up.

[John Risinger]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

You wonder if that was a good decision or a bad decision to share with them.

[Doug]

Oh, okay. Is there like an effect happening?

[Dax Shepard]

You just have like a weird feel. Like that feeling in your gut, in the pit of your stomach. Like maybe you should have kept it to yourself.

[John Risinger]

Where are we?

[Blaine]

Are we. Because are you inside?

[Chris Damaris]

We're running away to the.

[Dax Shepard]

They're on a raft. And then you two went to a different ship.

[Doug]

Yeah, I just figured I would, like, yell it out as you guys were headed.

[Chris Damaris]

Now, maybe the correspondence was picked up by Ironclad.

[Dax Shepard]

Maybe as you're showing off your skull to the group, a second floaty skull appears and tries to take a bite at you, Doug.

[Doug]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

It hits AC16.

[Doug]

Could I use shield as a reaction?

[Dax Shepard]

Absolutely.

[Doug]

So an invisible barrier of magical force appears and protects you until the start of my next turn. I have a plus 5 bonus to my academy. That would not hit me.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so yeah, it tries to bite. Like it's just floating there, trying to chomp at you, Doug.

[Doug]

I cast a fire bolt at it. 25. That does 13 points of fire damage.

[Tolv]

Headshot.

[Blaine]

Nice.

[Dax Shepard]

The skull catches fire and then falls to the ground.

[Doug]

Before we move on from this, could I tell what kind of skull it is? Like if it's like a humanoid or like like some other type of creature.

[Dax Shepard]

The one that tried to bite you Both. They both appear humanoid.

[Doug]

So like normal size, not huge or small or anything like that.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, medium size is what we would say.

[Barbara]

Well, I don't know if I should take this with me or not, but maybe just watch my back, Natty, and see if any other skulls are trying to munch on me.

[John Risinger]

I feel like it might be in your best interest to maybe drop that for the moment.

[Barbara]

Okay, I'll put it down.

[John Risinger]

I just figured that it's kind of a coincidence that you. You picked up a skull and then got attacked by a skull.

[Barbara]

That's fair enough. But I got my eye on you.

[Dax Shepard]

You put the skull back down on the ground and then again you're like, man, maybe that's the wrong decision.

[Doug]

This thing has me questioning a lot of things.

[Chris Damaris]

Weird.

[Doug]

I wonder if it like, has some type of like, mental effect.

[Tolv]

The skull of insecurity.

[John Risinger]

Since I am a caster, could I maybe do some sort of ch. Check to see if I could tell if Doug is enchanted or cursed or something like that.

[Dax Shepard]

Make an arcana check.

[Tolv]

Are you sure that's the right move, Natty?

[Doug]

The skull questions you playing in my head right now.

[John Risinger]

17.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it seems like there's some kind of enchantment on this skull that Doug picked up.

[Tolv]

Okay, Doug, I believe you left the oven on at your home.

[Doug]

You just see him frozen there in time.

[Dax Shepard]

You have an oven, Doug, I'm going to. At this point, smash cut to Gunther and Toll who were on their way to the Manowar.

[Chris Damaris]

I also want to keep an eye.

[Tolv]

Out for my vorhammer. It's lost. See?

[Dax Shepard]

Make a dexterity check to dexterity.

[Blaine]

Okay.

[Tolv]

Is it going to return to my hand like I am on Thor?

[Chris Damaris]

Ooh, a 19.

[Dax Shepard]

You stub your toe and almost trip, but you catch yourself as your foot impacts your half buried warhammer in the sand in front of the man of war.

[Tolv]

There you are. I give it a kiss. I brush off the sand. Then I give it another kiss. And then I clean the sand off of my lips.

[Dax Shepard]

And before you is a shipwrecked man o War sitting at the bottom of the sea.

[Barbara]

Cool.

[Blaine]

Let us go in.

[Tolv]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

You board the Man o War and you see that there are corpses all over the deck. Numerous corpses.

[Blaine]

Like what types of and what level decay?

[Dax Shepard]

Both of you make investigation checks and I'll answer.

[Blaine]

Don't worry. I got this one.

[Dax Shepard]

They have about two levels of decay on them.

[Chris Damaris]

Sure.

[John Risinger]

That was good. That was good.

[Dax Shepard]

A one and a Ten. That was a Michael One. I can't steal this joke.

[Tolv]

That's good.

[Dax Shepard]

As you look to determine the the amount of decay on the corpses, you make a startling realization. All of these corpses have hooks for hands.

[Tolv]

It's no wonder they've wrecked. I mean, dang, that must have been hard to steal the ship with a bunch of hook hands.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Blaine]

Is there anything else besides these corpses?

[Chris Damaris]

Can we like, comb the ship?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Both of you rolled me a D 2011 13. There's not much of note. Gunther. You find a small book based on the title, it seems to be about tying different kinds of sailor knots.

[Tolv]

That's a good one. You should keep that.

[Blaine]

Yeah, I guess I'll keep it.

[Dax Shepard]

And as you're putting that in your pack, I assume you're putting it in your pack. A flock of birds begin circling overhead. And they begin diving down, pecking at you too.

[Tolv]

Am I still raging?

[Dax Shepard]

No, you would not be raging anymore. Okay. One of them manages to successfully slash at you with its talents. But. And it does one point of slashing damage. Like some kind of gross seagull.

[John Risinger]

I ran so far away.

[Blaine]

Oh, seagulls are gross. Sea Drinker, are you here?

[Tolv]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

[Chris Damaris]

I have an idea. I have a tinder box and a torch. I want to light it up and then maybe we can misdirect Ironclad. Oh, yeah, by acting like we're signaling for black Sweetie. Probably see if this actually is the sea drinker is on the ship or not.

[John Risinger]

Cuz did this.

[Blaine]

Did anyone resp. Did anyone respond?

[John Risinger]

You haven't even investigated the ship yet.

[Dax Shepard]

The seagulls circle and swoop again. This time, one of them hits toll, doing one point of damage.

[Tolv]

Oh, I love space age love song.

[Dax Shepard]

Getting into deeper cuts. Their second hit.

[Chris Damaris]

Some may argue that's even better than Iran. Just say yeah, you got there.

[Dax Shepard]

This is cool. Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Damaris]

Can we go below deck where the seagulls are not?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. You descend into the belly of the man of war.

[Blaine]

And I know all about this because I have a book on knots. Cuz you said where the seagulls are not. It's a stretch.

[Chris Damaris]

It's a bit of a stretch to lay there.

[Blaine]

I know, I know. I did not get it.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, hey, hey. We want, we want, we want Doug.

[Chris Damaris]

And Natty to take their headphones off.

[Dax Shepard]

To save yourselves from our jokes.

[J]

Hey, guys, it's Ceedee Lamb, wide receiver for the Dallas Cowboys. I'm partnering with Abercrombie this season to tell you all about their viral denim. All you need to know is denim should fit like this. My jeans need to check. A lot of boxes fit first, trend second. They need to go with whatever I'm feeling. And Abercrombie Denim has it down whether I'm throwing on a tee or putting a whole fit together. Shop Abercrombie Denim in the app, online and in store.

[Dax Shepard]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Knowing you could be saving money for the things you really want, like that dream house or ride, is a great feeling. That's why the State Farm personal price plan can help you save when you choose to bundle home and auto bundling. Just another way to save with a personal price plan. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by State. The McDonald's Snack Wrap is back.

[J]

You brought it back.

[Dax Shepard]

Ranch snack wrap. Spicy snack wrap. You broke the Internet for a snack snack wrap is back. You descend into the hold and begin going down the stairs. And then very quickly, you're just met with sand. Like the bottom deck of the man of War is submerged inside.

[Blaine]

I hate sand.

[Dax Shepard]

It gets everywhere.

[Tolv]

Of course it's everywhere.

[Blaine]

Is there anything like. Is it just sand or is there like it could be anything buried in it or.

[Dax Shepard]

Make an investigation check.

[Blaine]

All right.

[Dax Shepard]

All right.

[Blaine]

That's a 10. That's a pretty, you know, like, pretty good.

[Chris Damaris]

That's pretty good. As far as rolls go. I think that's a pretty good roll.

[Tolv]

That's pretty good.

[Blaine]

On a scale of 1 to 10, that's perfect.

[John Risinger]

That's true.

[Doug]

I mean, he's not wrong.

[Dax Shepard]

I like Blaine's over enthusiastic laugh. Helping to sell the joke.

[Chris Damaris]

Like, yeah, it is good.

[Dax Shepard]

I mean, on a scale from 1 to 10.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, that's not bad.

[Dax Shepard]

You hear some kind of rattling just below the surface. Surface of the sand.

[Blaine]

Gunther, could I try and start digging where that rattling might come from?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, you begin digging and just below the surface you see a chest and it seems to be rattling it.

[Tolv]

I don't think the sea drinker is in there, but I am so curious. And I know what they say about the cat, but I'm gonna take my warhammer to the lock of this chest and blast it open.

[Blaine]

Okay. And I'll prep and have my sword ready. Shield out.

[Tolv]

Good call.

[Chris Damaris]

Good call.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, 12. You bring your warhammer down and smash the chest open. And as you do, so many gold coins come hopping out, jumping all over the place.

[John Risinger]

Like when Sonic hits a spike, right?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, all over. You guys Just out and about.

[Blaine]

Are they like animated or did they just spew out?

[Tolv]

Yeah.

[Chris Damaris]

Was this like spring loaded?

[Dax Shepard]

They're still hopping. They're hopping away from you guys.

[Tolv]

I think that this is like some sort of game. Like trickery. Like cursed coin.

[Blaine]

I try and grab one.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Make a dexterity check.

[Tolv]

Check your greed. Oh no.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. You're able to snatch three of the gold coins and they're wiggling in your hand.

[Blaine]

They're funny.

[John Risinger]

Get 47 more and you can get the next Chaos Emerald.

[Blaine]

I think we should go from here. This does not seem like Sea Drinker.

[Chris Damaris]

Okay, I will light up a torch though. And as loud as possible directed towards Ironclad's group.

[Tolv]

It'd be like, gang, we found it. Is the sea Drinker. She is in this ship. The man of war. Don't tell Ironclad. Do not tell Ironclad. He cannot know that this is the location of the Sea Drinker.

[Dax Shepard]

As you begin signaling with the torch, two of those seagulls come down and slash you for a total of 2 points of damage. Torch.

[Blaine]

The secret is to attack and defeat.

[Tolv]

All the seagulls first.

[Blaine]

And then that seagull drinker appears.

[Dax Shepard]

Make a deception check, Toll.

[Chris Damaris]

I think I'm gonna nail this one, guys. I mean, an 18 for good.

[Doug]

Pretty good.

[Dax Shepard]

Natty and Doug, Tolf seems to be calling you guys over.

[John Risinger]

Yeah, we didn't plan this. So Natty and Doug are gonna head over there. What? You didn't tell us that there was gonna be a fake out.

[Tolv]

V did not whistle.

[Dax Shepard]

Natty and Doug, you better head over to that manowar. I think Toll has found the Sea Drinker over there.

[Barbara]

I mean, I guess we're gonna have to go around at some point, so maybe we could just look at a ship on the way.

[Tolv]

If I did a wink, would it make you guys not think that I.

[John Risinger]

Was just waiting for you to do anything that would tell us that this was a ruse? But you didn't. So I'm gonna play in the space and say we gotta head over there.

[Barbara]

I don't know. I feel like I would be able to to tell though if. If he's purposely telling Ironclad to go over there. We know to enough that he doesn't trust Ironclad.

[Dax Shepard]

So you both could make a vibe check if you want.

[John Risinger]

That's what I was going to say. I think we have to let Dice decide.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Risinger]

I don't think we get to meta our way out of this.

[Barbara]

Vibe check.

[Doug]

What's that again?

[Dax Shepard]

Insight.

[John Risinger]

I am of no. Help. I just rolled a 7 21. Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. Doug, you think Colva is being a little sneaky here?

[Barbara]

I think he's pulling a leg.

[Doug]

He holds up the leg that he's still holding on to.

[Dax Shepard]

That was him on.

[Chris Damaris]

Get a lot of mileage out of that one.

[John Risinger]

How many times you going to get rid of that thing? He's going to start chewing on it.

[Barbara]

It's comedy gold, daddy. Get rid of this guy.

[Tolv]

Or as it's unfunny, the skull asks.

[Dax Shepard]

You look around and dig. He's got an arm in his mouth.

[John Risinger]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so should we maybe check another boat?

[Barbara]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's check another one.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, well, before you do that, then I'm going to resolve toll trying to talk to Ironclad.

[John Risinger]

Smart.

[Dax Shepard]

So first what I'm going to do is I'm going to make a perception check to see if Ironclad hears you to. He rolled an 18, so, yeah, he would hear you. Then he's going to do his own vibe check, AKA insight check, fail. It's not great to. You see Ironclad look up, look in your direction and begin running towards the man of war.

[Tolv]

He's so stupid. He's such an idiot. Let's go to another ship.

[John Risinger]

I'm sorry. He's just gonna chase you now.

[Blaine]

Okay, can we sneak away? Can we try and sneak away?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Both of you make stealth checks to see if you're able to sneak away.

[Blaine]

Like maybe we wait till we get on the other side of the ship and wait till Ironclad tries to enter and then we run around.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Okay.

[Chris Damaris]

I'm at a deception for stealth. I rolled an 18. Disadvantage.

[John Risinger]

You made mean disadvantage.

[Dax Shepard]

You said deception.

[Chris Damaris]

I'm so sorry. Yeah, Disadvantage.

[Dax Shepard]

My.

[Chris Damaris]

My brain is warped. 13, 14.

[Blaine]

Not bad.

[Dax Shepard]

That's pretty good. We'll get to the results of that as you try to sneak away after we deal with back to Doug and Natty.

[Chris Damaris]

Okay.

[John Risinger]

All right, Doug, which what's. What's your. What's your what's what? Which one you want to go to?

[Barbara]

I would like to look at the long boat.

[John Risinger]

That was very. What's his name? The looney Tunes pig. That's what that I sounded like. Which one you want to go to the long boat? I think that's a good. I like that one. Let's go to the longboat because it.

[Barbara]

Kind of reminds me of longbow.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, the longboat of Triumph.

[Barbara]

Yes, exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

You walk over to the long boat, and it seems like the long boat is like intertwined and encircled and grappled by a giant squid carcass.

[Doug]

Isn't the sea drinker supposed to be kind of like. Like squid, like.

[John Risinger]

Yeah. I don't know if this is a good sign or a bad sign.

[Barbara]

I know.

[Dax Shepard]

Squid faced, squid faced. Like squid. Like tendrils on the face.

[Chris Damaris]

Yeah, like Cthulhu. Like with the water body.

[Doug]

Gotcha. All right, can we investigate around here?

[John Risinger]

Yeah, let's check out this boat.

[Dax Shepard]

Both of you make investigation checks.

[Barbara]

23.

[John Risinger]

That's good because I rolled a two.

[Dax Shepard]

And then just for fun, both you roll me. D 20s.

[Barbara]

Not bringing around that skull anymore. Feels good.

[John Risinger]

19 by.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[John Risinger]

This is why we're such a good team.

[Barbara]

Balance.

[John Risinger]

Although maybe Gus is hoping that we need to both roll high. Maybe it's like a group thing.

[Doug]

Maybe.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't know. Or maybe I'm just making you roll because I'm trying to make you think maybe something's going on. You both investigated. Both your rolls were pretty good. As you're looking around on the longboat, you find a single golden manacle with five links.

[John Risinger]

Wait, what? A manacle with five links. As in just links of chain attached to.

[Tolv]

Attached to it?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, exactly.

[John Risinger]

So it's not attached to anything. It's just dangling with some, like, just loose and free.

[Doug]

Can I pick it up and look through it?

[John Risinger]

You keep picking up cursed stuff in this place.

[Barbara]

Wait, do you think I shouldn't? Is this gulf still here?

[John Risinger]

Now pick it up. Pick it up. Let's see.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, you pick it up, and it just seems to be, like, it's not plated. It's an actual solid gold manacle with five links on it.

[Chris Damaris]

That's a fancy manacle for a fancy prisoner.

[John Risinger]

Yeah, that's what I'm wondering. Normally, you don't invest that kind of money into holding somebody.

[Doug]

Does it seem like it's been, like, broken?

[Dax Shepard]

No, the. All the chains are intact. And if you had to estimate, you'd say this is probably worth nine gold pieces.

[Barbara]

Oh, can I take it?

[Dax Shepard]

That's a natty, I guess.

[John Risinger]

Yeah. I mean, I don't care.

[Barbara]

I'm gonna pocket this guy. Not this skull, though. Not that guy.

[Tolv]

Hey, come back here.

[Blaine]

Are you.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't.

[Tolv]

The choice is yours.

[John Risinger]

So Doug found the manacle. What, like, on the. Is along. What's the construction of a longboat? Gustavo Wood?

[Dax Shepard]

Is that what you're asking?

[John Risinger]

Well, like, is it, like, are there levels to it? Is there a lower area? Is there, like, where did we find this manacle?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, this is just out on the Deck on top of the longboat there. There does not appear to be any below deck area. Micah says it's long, which is very descriptive. Thank you, Mike.

[Doug]

There you go.

[John Risinger]

Yeah, thank you.

[Doug]

It's not. Was thinking.

[John Risinger]

Yep, that's what I wanted. Okay, well, we've looked. We found something. Nothing bad happened. You got some gold. I don't think we found the sea drinker. Can you think of anything else with your smart noggin?

[Barbara]

I mean, I feel like we've seen all we could see over here. We guess we could just keep going.

[Dax Shepard]

Both of you make perception check.

[John Risinger]

1915.

[Dax Shepard]

As you know, you two are trying to figure out your next move. You notice some rustling and some bits of cloth. And on the deck of the ship, it seems like two skeletons form out of cloth and rise. And they look at each other and begin chanting. It's in a language you don't understand. You sure about that?

[John Risinger]

Is it a language that Gigi understands?

[Dax Shepard]

Gigi's doing that thing that dogs do. He, like, turns his head sideways.

[John Risinger]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And looking at them. No, Giggy is not sure what they're saying either.

[John Risinger]

Okay, well, I say, howdy, y'. All. What you. Do you understand what I'm saying?

[Dax Shepard]

They don't seem to acknowledge you at all. They're just looking at each other. And they continue chanting.

[Doug]

What if I hold up the gold manacle?

[Dax Shepard]

No reaction. Maybe it's related to the manacle. Maybe it's not. One of them begins raising its arms to skyward.

[John Risinger]

Okay, Natty's gonna try parody. And walk up to them and mimic what they're saying and mimic their motions.

[Doug]

Could I also do. I don't know if it'd be like a history check or something, but do they. They seem to be doing the same pose as we saw on those mosaics.

[John Risinger]

We saw great callback Zodia thing.

[Dax Shepard]

Make it a history check.

[John Risinger]

Big roll. Good roll. Big roll. Good roll.

[Doug]

18.

[Barbara]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow. You think about it, and it doesn't seem exactly the same. It doesn't seem to be, like, the same, whatever that was. And as you're watching and thinking about it, clothes begin raining down from the sky.

[Doug]

Clothes?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, tunics and pants.

[John Risinger]

Pants.

[Doug]

Okay.

[John Risinger]

This is so confusing. I'm just. I'm just perplexed.

[Barbara]

Is there like a God of wardrobe or something like that?

[John Risinger]

I don't know.

[Dax Shepard]

The skeletons seem to dissipate and lose their form, and they just fall back into piles of cloth on the deck of the ship.

[Blaine]

The man of wardrobe.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. That's very cool.

[Doug]

Different ship.

[John Risinger]

We're Too far away to hear bad jokes. Okay, is there anything. No notable. Any of the clothes, or. They just. Mundane clothes.

[Dax Shepard]

Make an investigation check.

[John Risinger]

I will. Thanks.

[Barbara]

We got off on the wrong foot.

[John Risinger]

Stop. Put it down. Put it down. Investigation 19.

[Dax Shepard]

It just seems like mundane clothing and frankly, pretty drab.

[John Risinger]

Okay, well, I mean, yeah, everything compared to me is.

[Doug]

Where would that have been coming from? Because it's just like. That's just the sky above us, right? There's nothing floating above us.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh.

[John Risinger]

Should we check the squid?

[Chris Damaris]

I think you should, as a gesture of goodwill.

[John Risinger]

Why? Why is this a cursed episode? Why is this a cursed episode?

[Dax Shepard]

Joke.

[Blaine]

I don't need to get the.

[John Risinger]

The old discarded clothes. Goodwill.

[Blaine]

Oh, there you go.

[Doug]

I thought it was something related to.

[John Risinger]

The squid, and I was like, you're welcome.

[Dax Shepard]

I didn't get it either.

[Chris Damaris]

Okay.

[John Risinger]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

There you go.

[Blaine]

It's pretty good.

[John Risinger]

Okay, I'm gonna go check out the squid, and then I'll stop wasting everybody's time with whatever this longboat story is.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, make another investigation check.

[John Risinger]

Doug, help.

[Barbara]

I will, too.

[Doug]

Will investigate.

[John Risinger]

I feel like this squid might hold secrets. 15, 14. Okay. Listening to this.

[Chris Damaris]

They like this.

[John Risinger]

No, I know, but I feel like this. I feel like this boat is not a sea drinker. Boat.

[Chris Damaris]

You mean the Closed Skellingtons?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[John Risinger]

I just don't. Doesn't sing to me that this is where our God is.

[Dax Shepard]

You begin, you know, looking around the giant squid carcass. And as you're investigating it and, like, lifting different pieces, you find a swarm of baby squid that come out and begin flopping around all around your feet. Natty.

[John Risinger]

Oh, my gosh.

[Tolv]

Hey.

[Barbara]

You like babies?

[John Risinger]

I just had a thought. Now I have to roll a dice.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, no.

[John Risinger]

Giggy starts eating one of the. That's my rule. If I have an impulse, thought of what Gigi might do, I have to roll for it. Baby squids flopping around and clothes falling from the sky. That equals what?

[Dax Shepard]

You look down at Gigi while he's eating one of the squid. You notice something shiny in the sand.

[John Risinger]

Okay, this just keeps getting better. What is it?

[Dax Shepard]

You lean over to get a closer look, and it looks like a golden medallion of some kind. It's covered in dust.

[John Risinger]

I would like to just extend my aura out to check to see if this is bad.

[Dax Shepard]

Your aura out? What does that mean?

[John Risinger]

I'm kind of like, you know, same thing of, like, is Doug cursed? I'm gonna, like fuel vibes.

[Dax Shepard]

I see. Yeah. Do an Arcana check.

[John Risinger]

Nat 20, 21.

[Dax Shepard]

Ooh. That's a good roll. It does appear that this medallion has some kind of enchantment on it.

[John Risinger]

You know what? When in Rome, I grab it.

[Barbara]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

You grab it. And as you pick it up, you see that it has some kind of cracked emblem on it.

[John Risinger]

Yeah, what's that look like?

[Dax Shepard]

A bullseye target.

[Blaine]

Ooh, that sounds cool.

[John Risinger]

Okay. Just bullseye target on a medallion that I'm holding in my hand.

[Doug]

Is there anything else that has been like a target or like a bullseye imagery? I don't think so.

[John Risinger]

Oh, hey, Doug, since those two boys are over there, maybe you could tell a path ethically. Ask them if they know about that.

[Dax Shepard]

It might be out of range.

[John Risinger]

Oh, okay.

[Doug]

I think it's within 60ft, but I might have used it up because I think it's one prolonged rest.

[John Risinger]

Okay, never mind.

[Chris Damaris]

Also, full disclosure. If you had telepathed in my brain, I would have started screaming and thought I was going mad.

[John Risinger]

The medallion is like, what? Like it would have been on. Like, on a chain or something. I don't know. I pocket this thing. Yeah, okay. I pocket at it.

[Dax Shepard]

Golden bullseye medallion.

[John Risinger]

Thank you. All right. We should let the other boys play.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. I'm gonna cut over back to our other boys who are sneaking away from the man of war. Which ship do you want to go to or where do you want to go? I shouldn't railroad you like that. What do you want to go? Where do you want to do you.

[Blaine]

Pray to the sea drinker to see if you feel guided?

[Tolv]

Yeah, sure. Why not? Okay. Dear sea drinker, it's me to. Good to talk to you again. Hope you've been well. I'm looking for you right now. So if you give me any sort of sign or anything cool like that.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Tolv]

Bless up. Amen.

[Dax Shepard]

Make a religion check. Okay.

[Chris Damaris]

14.

[Dax Shepard]

Close your eyes in prayer to the sea drinker. And when you open them, you feel like you see something sparkling over at the sloop.

[Tolv]

I think that we should go to sloop. I feel a calling there. That's okay, but we should sneak.

[Blaine]

Te.

[Tolv]

Te.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, you all did make your stealth checks. And you. You got you. You did pretty good.

[Blaine]

Let's go snoop on the sloop.

[Dax Shepard]

You snoop your way to the sloop, and as you get closer, told you see three rectangular standing stones that are covered in starfish. And the stones seem to be erased, arranged like the letter Z or zed, depending on where you're from.

[Blaine]

Arranged in the letter Z. Like, I'm trying to understand what that.

[John Risinger]

What's the standing stone?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, like if you were Looking like a top down view. It looks like the letter Z.

[Blaine]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

And the standing stone is just like a stone that's seemingly planted in the ground. You know, it's got like vertical. It's not just like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just checking then just to be clear. Status? So it's kind. Kind of like Stonehenge. Imagine that. Okay.

[Tolv]

Okay.

[Blaine]

So they're big, all stones.

[Dax Shepard]

I mean. Yeah, they're kind of big. Yeah.

[Chris Damaris]

Does it look like the runes that are on my shield? This might be a bit of a stretch.

[Dax Shepard]

I mean, in a way, you know, you got like that less than and greater than. It kind of looks like it could be a Z, right? I mean, upside down.

[Tolv]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

It's also hard to see because the stones are covered in starfish.

[Blaine]

Where is this relative to the stoop or sloop?

[Dax Shepard]

It's like inside of the sloop.

[Blaine]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Like the sloop was crashed around it.

[Chris Damaris]

Okay. I'm gonna approach one of the starfish.

[Tolv]

Yes.

[Chris Damaris]

Gently touch it in a friendly way. Like, it's like, hello, sea creature friend.

[Tolv]

It's me, Torv. Yoo hoo.

[Dax Shepard]

Make a investigation. Check.

[Chris Damaris]

Nine.

[Dax Shepard]

You know, you reach out and, you know, touch your sea friend, the starfish. And as you do so, the central standing stone begins lowering into the sand, transforming into a descending stone staircase.

[Tolv]

Cool.

[John Risinger]

You touched the right starfish.

[Barbara]

We touch a lot of the wrong things over here.

[Blaine]

Gunther starts trying to go.

[Barbara]

Daddy, you hit up. I think Gunther has gas.

[John Risinger]

I think he's hyperventilating.

[Tolv]

These are not my real lips. I do not know how to whistle.

[Barbara]

I mean, they could be trying to whistle. Should we go over there?

[John Risinger]

Vibe check.

[Chris Damaris]

I rolled a one. I pull out a coin and I try. Is there any sunlight out or anything like that? Any light source or anything?

[Dax Shepard]

Sure.

[Chris Damaris]

Okay. This is like an actual, like, thing that you would do to signal for rescue or something. I try to like reflect light into their direction to kind of get their attention, but subtly in from undercover so that ironclad doesn't see.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. A single beam of light descends down and striking the coin for just a moment.

[Chris Damaris]

Have to be insulting about it, guys.

[Dax Shepard]

It's not insulting.

[Tolv]

It's.

[Dax Shepard]

It's a. You're pure luck. Your. Your. Your earlier prayer is still giving you boons.

[Blaine]

Oh, yes. Yeah, we need that, Doug.

[Dax Shepard]

Boons. Yeah.

[John Risinger]

Doug, I think. I think they might have finally found something.

[Barbara]

You think?

[John Risinger]

Maybe. Maybe. I don't know. I feel like we're getting close to the end of this episode. So.

[Barbara]

Yeah, I did say I thought I heard them whistle, but let's all ignore Doug.

[John Risinger]

I heard that. You're right. I heard that. I. But my vibe check was A1, so I didn't think it was a whistle, but yeah, let's go.

[Barbara]

I don't know. It could just be a reflection off of something. It just fish for fun. Yeah.

[John Risinger]

Let's go look at another boat.

[Dax Shepard]

You hustle over after hearing that wonderful whistle and seeing that glint of light, they both call you over and you see to and Gunther standing on top of a descending staircase in these stones that are covered in starfish. You two who just showed up make me a perception check.

[Doug]

16 goes on at 13 and rolled over to a 1, so it's a 7.

[Dax Shepard]

As you approach and begin walking up to your friends, Natty, something catches your eye. On the standing stones behind the starfish, you can see what appear to be veins of a strange metal running through the stone. And it seems to be the same kind of metal you see on to's metallic skeleton.

[John Risinger]

Interesting, huh? I pointed out to to. Hey. To look. Samesies.

[Tolv]

Omg, that's me. What the heck?

[John Risinger]

I feel like we're on a good. We're. We're on the right direction.

[Blaine]

Is this your mama?

[Chris Damaris]

This rock?

[John Risinger]

I don't think so. Well, you are made from inorganic material.

[Tolv]

I mean, do I even have a.

[Chris Damaris]

Mother and a father?

[John Risinger]

Who am I?

[Tolv]

What is my name?

[Dax Shepard]

But you continue descending. Yeah.

[Chris Damaris]

Can to lead?

[John Risinger]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. What is the marching order here? Just so I know the boys can go first.

[Blaine]

Yeah.

[Doug]

I would think we'd be in the back.

[John Risinger]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so I'm just going to say to Gunther, Doug, Natty.

[Tolv]

Yeah, and private puzzles and a bunch.

[John Risinger]

Of NPCs we don't need to worry about.

[Dax Shepard]

They're in the middle there. As you all descend, Natty, the stairs behind you rise and retract back up into the ground, hiding the staircase as you begin your descent.

[John Risinger]

That's handy.

[Blaine]

I hope we don't need out.

[Dax Shepard]

You descend and you find yourself in a large circular stone room that has have veins of metal with steam wafting up through cracks in the floor. As you are looking around trying to get your bearings, you hear a guttural roar that seems to rumble the room. The stone floor begins cracking and spewing lava everywhere. Is this the end of our party? Will they succumb to the magma liquid? Hot magma? Find out on the next episode.

[Chris Damaris]

No, because.

[John Risinger]

I attacked the lava. I rolled an 11.

[Dax Shepard]

Your weapon melts and becomes lava.

[Blaine]

Oh.

[Chris Damaris]

Tolv descends into the lava. And as he goes down, a single arm raises up and then the thumb protrudes from his hand.

[Dax Shepard]

Gunther, we can recreate episode one. Didn't you die falling into lava? Was it a premonition of this? Is the Is the prophecy going to come true? Find out in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

[Blaine]

You're just gonna ignore all of our jokes? No, that's not.

[John Risinger]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

It's Christmas in July, which means we have a new Gunther's Quest shirt@store stinkydragonpod.com and if you bundle it with three Kris character shirts, Gum, Gum, Barney or gunther, you get 15% off. And thanks to Chris. Anyone who uses the code Chrismas, which is C H R3s M A S gets 3% off their entire order. But hurry, these deals are only available for, well, well, the rest of July. And don't worry, the Chris Character Tea Bundle discounts are auto applied at checkout for any applicable purchase and each store checkout is limited to one discount offer. Head over to store stinky dragonpod.com and pick up some Chris stuff to celebrate Christmas. New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever you stream podcasts and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want to listen to show 48 hours early and ad free. You can support us on either platform, become a [e-mail] or join as a member on Beacon TV. Both give you early ad free access and a member only discord for each platform. If you're looking for even more stinky content and community perks, our Patreon offers exclusive bonus shows, behind the scenes content, access to the Stingy Dragon, Discord members only live streams, stinky community events and a shout out on the show. Just like Secretly waldo, Frosty Error, Mutor 6 main Germos and Autumn Ferret 3. These patrons directly support the show and get ad free episodes, access to our Patreon only Discord server, bonus content like Second Wind and Behind the Screen and other stinky perks. Here's a quick peek from the latest episode of Second Wind. I want to commend you Mike. I think that was a super cool visual, super cool idea for a way to approach like a big imposing boat. It's like it's multiple boats hooked up together and I thought that was a really cool idea.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Thank you. I went through a couple iterations of like should they be stacked on top of each other? Should they be like like all just next to each other, like connected? Not even just via like gangplanks but just all like sharing the same Hole. Should there be like, should it be an iceberg situation where they're below?

[Dax Shepard]

You know, it's like the other ships were also fully built out like this one was, and the episode just didn't take you there. You just didn't go. And that's fine. That's what, that's what happens in D and D. But it's like all of them were unique and had tons of different traits and features. And like, oh, it was going to be really cool if there had been a lot of movement between the three of them. And it's fine that we stayed on the blindfold, but. But it's like, oh, there was so much more that we could have really dug into here.

[Blaine]

You had like a whole different system for battling, right?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Well, yeah, kind of. I use like stat. I found stat blocks for actual ships and. Which was probably a bit much. But I think if I were to.

[Tolv]

Do it, we would.

[Gustavo Sorola]

We would just need to like, do a tavern tale or something or just like a live stream of us just playing with boats, like actual battleship, almost just like do that. And because there are systems out there that are for like, war versus, like hand to hand combat kind of thing, like big scale stuff. And I feel like that's probably the better mechanic. But it's still more fun to be like, you're in the cinematic moment of swinging on, you know, a line across the ship's bow or something.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm somewhat sad that we didn't get to see more of the Dockmaster.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah, maybe we'll come, come back to the Dockmaster in its various accoutrements one of these days.

[Blaine]

Days we'll get that Navy battle.

[Dax Shepard]

Once again. That's sticky. Dragonpod.com we're incredibly grateful for your support, which makes this show possible. Listeners who interacted with us on the Stingy Dragon Discord had NPCs named after them this episode. Like Elva, who's actually voiced by Charlotte Avery at Momshome. Underscore from Astrogoblin. Check out their YouTube channel, Lousy Last Kill, named after Alex B007, voiced by Chad James, hadjamesrt from Death Bow Battle, and Yarrow Ironclad, voiced by Adam Ellis at Adam E. Ellis. This week's arrow question was submitted by the Silent Taco. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, composed by Michael Reisinger, with additional editing work by Katherine Arnold and David Saunier. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

[John Risinger]

Troll. Troll. Like A T R a W L. Is it? Oh, is it spelled T R O L L?

[Dax Shepard]

I don't know. You're making me question it now.

[John Risinger]

I. Yeah, now I am too. I've never written it down.

[Dax Shepard]

Trolling. T R O L L. Oh, but there are also fishing trawlers.

[John Risinger]

T R a W L. That's what I was saying.

[Dax Shepard]

It's both.

[John Risinger]

But what's the T R O L l you're referring to?

[Dax Shepard]

Same.

[John Risinger]

Oh, why, why same? What?

[Dax Shepard]

There's a same.

[Doug]

English is dumb. That's why I speak Korean.

[John Risinger]

We're switching to Korean.

[Dax Shepard]

Thank you dog. Thank you.

[Barbara]

Alright everyone, welcome back to the Dougs. On the ones and twos equals threes. I know you missed me. It's been a while. I think Doug loses track of time sometimes. You know, sometimes he does his show, sometimes he doesn't. This week we're joined by Natty Wonders.

[John Risinger]

Hey Doug.

[Barbara]

Natty, welcome to the show. Is this your first time on the dubs? And the ones and twos equals threes.

[John Risinger]

I think this might be like my second time. I'm not quite sure. I, you know, I listen so often I forget, you know when I, when I've been able to participate. Just a big fan. Just a big fan.

[Barbara]

Wow, thank you so much. You, you are probably one of our five listeners that we have on the show. Which is four more than Doug was expecting. Cause Doug also listens to his own radio show every other day.

[John Risinger]

What sort of radio show do you like this to be? Is it just for call ins and advice? Do you play music? Or is this something where like you got like trivia or something like that?

[Barbara]

You know Natty, that's a great question. Doug has not fleshed it out quite yet so far. It's just been a little bit of banter for about 30 seconds while everyone goes to yo and well how about.

[John Risinger]

I, I'll facilitate and, and ask a question. How about question? You give advice.

[Barbara]

Oh, I love that.

[John Risinger]

Okay, so I have a little baby boy and he's got a big job to do someday and I want to get him prepared for that job. The job being of course ending the world and bringing about the next timeline and, and the, the new, the new age of course, how do I teach him how to destroy the world but also not put too much pressure on him because you know parents that put too much pressure on their kids, those kids just end up being screwed up.

[Barbara]

That, and that's all the time we have today. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for listening to Doug's underworld. We'll address that question when Doug has had time to ruminate and read a couple books on the meaning of life.