C03 - Ep. 24 - Brig of Endridge Bay - Nonymo Money Nonymo Problems

Summary

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Tales from the Stinky Dragon

C03 - Ep. 24: Brig of Endridge Bay - Nonymo Money Nonymo Problems

Release Date: August 20, 2025
DM: Gustavo Sorola
Cast: Barbara Dunman (Doug), Chris Demaris (Gunther), John Risinger (Natty Wonder), Blaine Gibson (Tolve)

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Episode Overview

In this high-energy, hilarious installment, our adventurers regroup at the heart of a perilous lava-filled labyrinth beneath Endridge Bay. The party splits and reunites, faces deadly puzzles, and orchestrates a tense showdown with their nemesis, Ironclad. Amid remarkably Stinky Dragon-style antics, a dramatic deal is struck with a lava serpent, unlikely alliances are formed, and the fate of a mysterious aquatic prisoner sparks chaos. This episode delivers a blend of comedic character moments, clever problem-solving, and a climactic battle featuring one volcanic anaconda.

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Main Discussion Points & Episode Highlights

1. Opening Banter & "Death Row Last Meal" Segment

Timestamps: 03:18 – 11:50

The group opens with a signature icebreaker, answering: "What would your character's last meal be on death row?" This leads to a delightfully goofy round-robin:

• Doug (Barbara): Deadly puffle fish, "You might as well try something you otherwise never would." (04:16)
• Gunther (Chris): "One final kiss from my wife. Failing that, butterfly wings appetizer, stir-fly main, and grasshopsicles dessert." (06:02)
• Natty (John): "A handful of almonds. Just something to tide me over until I'm with my wife again." (07:32)
• Tolve (Blaine): "Oysters—to maybe find a pearl and bribe my way out, or use shells for a shiv." (09:14)

Notable Quotes:

• Barbara: "Maybe eating puffle fish will kill you faster... might be more pleasant." (04:56)
• Chris: "If that’s not available, then I’d ask for grasshopsicles." (06:31)
• John: "I don’t need much. Just something to tide me over, you know." (08:17)
• Blaine: "I could break the oyster shell and fashion a lockpick..." (09:14)

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2. Tolve’s Liminal Encounter & Maestro Pharynx’s Prophecy

Timestamps: 11:16 – 14:42

As Tolve faces a monstrous lava serpent, he’s transported into a surreal vision with Maestro Pharynx—a draconic sage with a floating crystal flute.

Key Prophecy:

• Tolve and team must, at a pivotal time, go to Hyra:
  Maestro Pharynx: "When that moment comes, you should go. There’s someone in Hyra who shouldn’t be there." (13:35)
• "You’ll be outnumbered, outmatched—but you have more friends than you already know. Find them. All of your friends, Tolve." (14:29)

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3. Negotiating with the Volcaniconda

Timestamps: 14:42 – 25:11

Situation:
Tolve negotiates with a giant lava snake (Volcaniconda) instead of fighting. He tries everything: promising ice cream, new experiences, and leading the serpent to chase Ironclad and his trollings—complete with puns and failed persuasion attempts.

Notable Quotes & Moments:

• Volcaniconda: "Not all eating is for hunger." (20:29)
• Barbara: "Maybe she wants some puffle fish." (20:46)
• Tolve: "I know of a big stinky poopy pants—I can lead you to a tastier meal than me." (18:06)
• Tolve uses Mittens of Mushrooms, which releases a fungal spray—the serpent is momentarily confused but not convinced.
• With a nat 20 deception check, a deal is struck: Volcaniconda will pursue Ironclad and his trollings as payment for sparing Tolve (24:01).

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4. Exploring the Labyrinth & The Lava Cage

Timestamps: 25:16 – 32:02

The rest of the party (Doug, Gunther, Natty) navigates strange hallways lined with bookshelves and chalk, discovering:

• Spell Scroll of Gaseous Form (28:46)
• A heavy-duty drill (29:45)
• A tiny, water-squid prisoner trapped in a cage of molten lava (31:03)

Notable Investigation:

• Natty uses her magic ring to enter the cage and examine the diminutive aquatic captive.
• The group notices the squid is shrinking due to the heat of the lava cage.
  Natty: "I think the lava’s hurting it." (38:27)

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5. Inventive Rescue & The Arrival of Ironclad

Timestamps: 38:39 – 44:48

Rescue Plan:

• Doug rips off cabinet doors to shield against the lava, briefly opening a space for Natty to flick the squid out to Gunther (metal door quickly melts).
• As they execute their rescue operation, Doug senses Ironclad and his trollings entering the area.
  Doug: "Guys, I don’t want to freak anyone out, but we gotta get out of here like ASAP." (41:52)

Clever magic and nimble hiding ensue, with Natty disguising herself as a small squid to fool Ironclad, and Gunther stashing the rescued squid-creature in a bag, pouring ever-flowing water on it for sustenance.

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6. Convergence: Showdown in the Lava Hallway

Timestamps: 49:04 – 56:45

Tolve re-enters by mirror portal, confronting Ironclad head-on with a warhammer ambush. Natty creates a "Moat of Hell" (powerful area-of-effect spell), trapping Ironclad and his trollings in darkness and psychic torment.

Battle Beats:

• Ironclad: Deals brutal cold and slashing damage, knocking Tolve unconscious.
• Natty: Her spell inflicts fiery and psychic damage, causing the trollings to stumble and ultimately perish (80:13).
• Doug & Gunther: Leap to stabilize Tolve, pour water, and prepare the party for escape.

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7. Volcaniconda’s Entrance – The Lava Snake Delivers

Timestamps: 84:23 – 89:02

The Volcaniconda answers Tolve’s earlier call, bursting dramatically through the wall mid-melee.

• She unleashes a cloud of poisonous ash (all take poison damage and are "poisoned"), then seizes Ironclad in her jaws and thrashes him against the ground.
• Natty: "Volcaniconda’s queen!" (85:29)
• The resulting chaos allows the party to strike at a downed Ironclad—Doug's firebolt barrage leaves Ironclad badly hurt.
• Aftermath: With the room collapsing and the Volcaniconda retreating, the adventurers grab Tolve and make their escape as the entire facility begins to collapse.

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8. Escape & Cliffhanger

Timestamps: 94:45 – 96:19

• The party races out as the labyrinth crumbles, with hints of Ironclad’s fate left ambiguous.
• They reach the ocean floor as the protective water vortex fails—leaving them defenseless against the sea above.
• Doug: "The sea drinker will drink up all this sea that is falling upon us and save us." (96:05)
• End-of-episode cliffhanger: "Find out if that happens or not in the next episode..."

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• Barbara (On puffle fish): "Maybe eating puffle fish will kill you faster... might be more pleasant." (04:56)
• Maestro Pharynx: "There will come a time soon when you and your companions will be asked to go to Hyra... When that moment comes, you should go." (13:35)
• Tolve (Negotiating): "I know of a big stinky poopy pants—I can lead you to a tastier meal than me." (18:06)
• Volcaniconda: "Not all eating is for hunger." (20:29)
• Gunther: "We're here to help you, sea drinker." (40:21)
• Natty (Disguised): "Howdy!"—as she infiltrates the cage (32:05)
• Doug: "Guys, I don’t want to freak anyone out, but we gotta get out of here like ASAP." (41:52)
• Natty (casting Moat of Hell): "A group is in the shape of a moat... Moat of hell!" (68:18)
• Volcaniconda: (Entering the battle) "Ice cream!" (85:21)
• Doug: "Well, we saw what he did to our friend Tolve and we’re not in the do it—feel burned." (91:00)
• End Cliffhanger:
  • Doug: "The sea drinker will drink up all this sea that is falling upon us and save us." (96:05)
  • Chris: "She's right. Sorry guys, I'm just too full. That frog gave me all the water I need." (96:09)

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Key Timestamps by Segment

• Death Row Last Meal Introductions: 03:18 – 11:50
• Maestro Pharynx’s Prophecy: 11:16 – 14:42
• Tolve & Volcaniconda Negotiations: 14:42 – 25:11
• Exploring/Bookshelves/Lava Cage: 25:16 – 32:02
• Saving the Squid Prisoner & Ironclad Appears: 38:39 – 44:48
• Lava Hallway Battle Starts: 49:04 – 56:45
• Moat of Hell & Trollings’ Demise: 68:18 – 80:13
• Volcaniconda’s Arrival/All vs Ironclad: 84:23 – 89:02
• Collapse & Escape: 94:45 – 96:19
• Cliffhanger and credits: 96:19 – 98:00

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Tone & Style

• Comical and fast-paced: The cast riff constantly, insert jokes, and spiral into puns and running gags.
• Immersive and high-stakes: Tension ratchets during battles, but there’s always a sense of fun.
• Fourth-wall breaks and in-character asides keep things lively and meta.

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Final Thoughts

This episode exemplifies what makes Tales from the Stinky Dragon distinct: wild creativity and humor in the face of D&D danger, immersive roleplay, and teamwork prevailing—occasionally by the skin of their teeth. The arrival of the Volcaniconda, the running theme of "Nonymo Money Nonymo Problems," and a surprisingly tense victory over Ironclad set the stage for intrigue and more chaos to come in Hyra.

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Transcript

[A]

Hi, I'm Kristen Bell, and if you know my husband Dax, then you also know he loves shopping for a car. Selling a car, not so much.

[B]

We're really doing this, huh?

[A]

Thankfully, Carvana makes it easy. Answer a few questions, put in your van or license and done. We sold ours in minutes this morning. And they'll come pick it up and pay us this afternoon.

[B]

Bye bye, Truckee.

[A]

Of course, we kept the favorite.

[B]

Hello, other Truckee.

[A]

Sell your car with Carvana today. Terms and conditions apply.

[B]

Martha listens to her favorite band all the time. In the car, gym, even sleeping. So when they finally went on tour, Martha bundled her flight and hotel on Expedia to see them live. She saved so much, she got her seat close enough to actually see and hear them, sort of. You were made to scream from the front row. We were made to quietly save you. More Expedia made to travel. Savings vary and subject to availability flight inclusive. Packages are atoll protected.

[C]

Afternoon, all you ornolofts teleport into the Stinky Dragon and sip on our latest libation. Wear your Sunday pestilence. It's a mixture of feeble mind flowers, globe of invulnerable tea leaves, water turned to blood and a sickening sneeze. One nip of this nauseating nectar is enough to make you wash your hands for at least 20 seconds. Previously, our adventurers lumbered into a labyrinth of lava. They uncovered an astronomical atlas, felt feelings, messed with mirrors, and parted ways as a party. Now they perhaps found a puny prisoner whilst tolve tussles with a scorching serpent. Pour yourself a potation and let's proceed with this pungent pot boiler.

[B]

Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I'm your dungeon master, Gustavo Sorola, and I'm gonna get our four players with an arrow.

[A]

Hey, Gus.

[C]

How are you today?

[B]

Stab, stab, stab. I'm not even gonna shoot it from a bow. I'm gonna like Legola style it. Melee up close.

[C]

Cool. It's so cool. Cool.

[B]

This week's. Is that. Does that even work? Is that even really, like, feasible? Think. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Chris is an expert, Gus. Just. Just like. Yeah, Gus, you know how we test out our D and D concepts in live action? We should. You want to try that?

[B]

I think we should. I think it'd be. It's. It's a good one to try.

[C]

All right, Chris, you're up. All right, well, I'll. I'll take. I'll get the arrow. Blaine, you can be the. No, no, no. Hit us with that. Arrow, Gus.

[B]

Okay, this week's melee arrow question is, if your character was on death row, what would they ask for their last meal? That was submitted by Joseph Dufour, Black Knight, Black Snipe. Something like that.

[C]

I'm 20. I rolled 20, so I'll go first. I feel like close to 40.

[A]

I also rolled a 20. Ooh, roll off.

[C]

I rolled a 20 as well.

[B]

Oh, three way.

[C]

Roll off. 17. Two, three. So, Barbara, Chris, John, Blaine.

[B]

I like how Chris rolled the 20. I was so confident, like, I'm going to go first. Then there was a three way tie for 20.

[A]

Tie. Which means we're not going to get any 20s the rest of today's session.

[C]

And then Blaine's here too.

[B]

Barbara, why don't you lead us off?

[A]

You got it, Gus. Anything for you, bud. I am Barbara Dunman, and I play Doug Boon the Bug Bear. Artificer. Battlesmith. Artificer. To be more particular. I don't know if I ever really talk about my subclass a lot.

[C]

We haven't seen Gambot in a little bit.

[A]

It's true. He's been. He's been chilling. But, you know, I don't like to think about death very often. Gosh. But if I was on death row and I had one more meal to eat, I would have a dish of puffle fish. Because puffle fish is actually deadly if you eat it. If it's not cooked properly or a certain way, I believe. And so, you know, if I'm already going to die, you might as well go out trying something that you'll never otherwise get to try.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

You may as well try it because there's no downside.

[A]

Exactly.

[C]

I was waiting for the reasoning. I was like, I don't understand why this, but that. Yeah, I get it.

[A]

You might as well try something. Absolutely. Maybe that'll kill you faster than whatever they're gonna do to, you know, kill you on death row. So it might be more pleasant.

[C]

I would take it.

[B]

It's pretty painful.

[C]

A course of cyanide, please. I feel like any death that comes from a gastrointestinal experience has to be painful. Barbara.

[B]

I think it's a neurotoxin.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Which is, like, even worse somehow.

[C]

Maybe numb.

[B]

Maybe.

[C]

We'll test that after we test the arrow thing. All right, cool.

[A]

It might be the most delicious thing you ever tried, but you would never know because you're not allowed to.

[C]

Oh, I like that. You know how they have those, like, VR places, and it's like a virtual reality experience. I'm imagining John Opening a restaurant called A Gastrointestinal Experience. I don't know why. That just sound like a marketing slang. It would just be titled John's Gastrointestinal Experience. That's what it'd be titled.

[B]

We'll call it G.I. john. Thanks, Barbara. Appreciate that. And next up, I think was John. Was GI John.

[C]

Nope, it was Chris. Chris.

[B]

Oh, is it Chris? It's GI Chris.

[C]

Hi, I'm Chris Demaris and I play Gunther, the crook folk fighter. And if it was my last meal, if this was on the menu, I would ask only for one final kiss from my wife.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

But if that is not available on the menu, then I would ask for an appetizer of buffer fly wings with a main course of a stir fly.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

And then grasshopsicles.

[A]

You know, I think I would take that over the kiss person.

[C]

The prison guard says, we're fresh out of your wife's kisses, but mine will have to do.

[A]

Lynmer appears.

[B]

All right, That's a. It's a very thoughtful full course you got there, Gunther.

[C]

You have to take advantage of it, okay? You'll get the yummiest, most delicious meal ever. You did your best. Is it just me, or does Chris always say the most creepiest things during our campaign? What was that like? What was creepy about that? To take advantage of it. If I say back to you, do you hear it now, Chris? Anyway, John, you're.

[A]

What are you gonna take advantage of John?

[C]

Come and find me. It's okay. Yeah. Hi, my name is John Risinger, and I play Natty Wonder, who is a drow warlock drag queen. And if I was on death row and I was getting ready to say good night forever, honestly, I would be just so excited because that means I'm on my way to see my wife for forever. So I kind of think I'd be impatient and just ask for maybe a handful of almonds and just kind of pop them back and just be like, all right, let's go. Let's get this party started. It's like an in flight meal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just something to tide me over, you know, I don't. I don't need much.

[A]

You want them warm at least. Warm like warm nuts.

[C]

Don't knock until you try it. Okay. I've never had. I mean, I've had. Actually, I have. If you go to BUC EE's, they're like, covered in, like, sugary stuff.

[B]

They're good.

[C]

You guys got honey roasted.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, so good.

[C]

They have them on our heat lamps. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I Mean, I'm a Buc EE's fan. In fact, I get to go to Buc EE's in about a month. So I'm excited about that. What an opportunity.

[A]

That should be your last meal, Bucky's.

[B]

Take a while. That smell permeates, too, throughout the whole store. It's like it, like, draws you in. I feel like a cartoon character when I walk in. Like I'm floating and my nose is pulling me, carrying me to the. The warm roasted nuts.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyways, yeah, if it wasn't. If it wasn't almonds, I'd ask. I'd ask for Bucky's. I'm Maddie Wonder and I love Bucky's.

[A]

Sponsor us.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

All right. Thanks, Daddy. That's good to know. And we've. Next up, we've got Blaine.

[C]

Hello, it's me, Blaine Gibson, and I play to Yoo Hoo. It's me, Tov, and I am a male or thaumatech barbarian, level five. Someone should get on that. And it's probably me. Yeah. I don't know. Why were you wagging your finger? Let's talk about last meal. So as a thack, I do not need to eat. It's not part of my, you know, what drives me, my fuel being a robot and all. However, I would ask for oysters, and my reasons are thus. One, I could potentially find a pearl in one of the oysters and I could use this to bribe the guard into letting me leave because oysters are quite precious. And two, I could break the shell of the oyster and e fashion it into a lock pick or a prison shiv. And I could stab the guard in the throat if he does not like the pearl. Yeah. So oysters, that would be my. My answer.

[A]

I do like the idea that they're bringing you just like full, unchucked oysters for you to have as your last meal. It's like, well, there could be a.

[C]

Pearl in there just like I like them. Are going to take advantage of these. You also need a shocker to open them up. So they give you essentially a. A knife. Yeah. It's foolproof.

[B]

Yeah. My favorite part is picturing trying to use an oyster shell as a lock pick and just thinking about it snapping the second you put some torque on it.

[C]

You don't use an oyster shell for lock pick. You use a candlestick holder for a lock pick.

[B]

Silly me.

[C]

Silly boy.

[A]

Canonically.

[C]

Canonically, that's what you do.

[A]

Yeah. And you sing a little limerick that. We all know what a limerick is.

[C]

I like that. That is just cemented in you, Barb. I didn't remember that until you brought it up.

[A]

Yep.

[C]

Have you looked up yet what a limerick is? Nope.

[A]

That's exactly what I did.

[C]

Why don't we talk about limericks in Second Wind? Okay.

[B]

Yeah. It's more than a city in Ireland. As you begin looking, you feel the entire room once again start shaking. Very similar to when you all first entered the first room in this building. And you look around and you see the lava pool below. You start bubbling and out from it burst a redwood sized, heavy bodied constricting snake that appears to be made entirely out of lava. It's got an obsidian tip tail and white hot fangs. It looks around the room. Then its head darts around and locks eyes directly with you told. It opens its gaping maw and lunges at you. The large leviathan of lava lunges out of the pool, high into the air. Its magmatic maw opens, opens wide to engulf you.

[C]

Toll.

[B]

And like the snap of a finger, darkness swallows you whole. A single light glints just beyond your nose. Something like jewelry or a gemstone. And then you hear it again. It's that flute. It's playing a bittersweet melody.

[C]

So you can hear my flute. Fascinating. I wasn't sure if that would work. You weren't in the middle of anything? Oh, you know, I was just about to get eaten by a big lava smarge, but other than that, not much going on. Schedule's pretty clear.

[B]

Your vision widens a bit more and the gem like glint reveals itself to be a floating crystal flute. Your vision shifts focus to a draconic figure behind the flute. The first thing you notice are his striking amber eyes, accented by full moon spectacles on the bridge of his nose.

[C]

As much as time truly isn't a factor for me, is for you. So I suppose we should be quick about this. I know who you are, obviously, but we've never been properly introduced. Maestro Pharynx. Maestro Phary. Fairlings. Filly. I'm gonna write that down. I'm gonna write that down, Maestro.

[B]

He tips his cap and you see draconic horns protruding through the brim. The floating crystal flute continues piping its tune and dancing around you in the Maestro's heads.

[C]

For reasons beyond me, your head seems to be in a few places at once. A rare gift, I must say. I believe your companions share this trait as well.

[B]

With a loud crack, the wall behind you begins to splinter like glass. And the flute's melody lilts slightly.

[C]

Oh, sorry. That's my fault. Focus on my flute, if you will. And I'll try to stay more on point here. There will come a time soon when you and your companions will be asked to go to Hyra. You've heard of Hyra, yes? Yeah, I'm kind of aware of it. Yeah, sure. When that moment comes, when it arrives, you should go. Go to Hyra. Understand? Go to Hyra.

[B]

Crack the wall to your left fractures and Frayranx smirk fades to a wince for a moment.

[C]

Stay with me, friends. Stay with me. There's someone in Hyra that shouldn't be there. You and your friends have been adept at finding folks that aren't who they seem to be.

[B]

And with a crack, the wall to your right fissures and the room trembles. Fairness catches you by the shoulder. His orange fingers gently steady you.

[C]

This last part's important. And at one point, it will seem like you are outnumbered, outmatched. But that's not true. You have friends. More than ones you already know. You'll need to find them too. Find all of your friends, Blaine. I mean. I mean Toll.

[B]

Crass fourth wall breaks and reality shatters into pieces. Your stomach lurches, vertigo takes over. Gravity unable to find an anchor. Existence out of balance. Consciousness swirls into the void. And splash. A large leviathan of lava lunges out of the pool. High into the air, its magmatic maw opens wide to engulf you.

[C]

To.

[B]

You have but seconds to react. What do you do? To. What do you do? Oh, my gosh.

[C]

Is this speed?

[B]

Let me see.

[C]

Pop quiz. Tove.

[B]

Pop quiz.

[A]

I know that reference.

[C]

Now I'm going to. I have these things called tick. Can it. Does it seem smart? Could it understand me?

[B]

Make a nature check.

[C]

Nature check. This is a nature check. To be clear, while it's launching at you with its mouth open. Yeah, I know. But I get to see its brains. 14.

[B]

You think that there is a cunning knowledge behind its eyes.

[C]

Don't eat me. And this isn't me bleeding for my life. But this is just me wanting to make a friend. Can we talk real quick? And if it doesn't go the way you want, I promise you I will give you some sort of nourishment that I think you'll enjoy.

[B]

Make a persuasion check. At disadvantage.

[C]

Making this hard. Looks like today's your lucky day, Gus, because I got a three and 18. Wait, no. 20. But that.

[B]

You.

[C]

You take the three. This isn't gonna go well.

[B]

I. I will say it will. It will stop. It'll close its maw, then splash back down into the Lava circle inside the lava begin, like making laps in the lava pool, look up to you and say, what could you possibly have that I would want?

[C]

Well, just kind of taking a look at this area. Are you trapped here by chance? Are you here held against your will? No. Oh, this is your home and I'm intruding here. So convincing. This is going so well for you, Blaine. This is going so well. What kind of things do you enjoy eating, just out of curiosity? You.

[B]

Formatex?

[C]

Vomotex? Great, great, great. Well, as you can see from my skin, I am an orc.

[B]

That was kind of a joke. I'm sorry. I have been known to say yes to new pleasures. Perhaps ice cream? Ice cream.

[C]

Okay, now we're getting somewhere. I don't have ice cream, but I bet I could find you some. Would that interest you? Because I think that that would taste a lot better than what I taste like because I've been traveling for a while, I haven't showered. I'm quite pungent. You don't want any of this, trust me. Like bad pungent, I'm told. By the way, what is your name?

[B]

I am the Volcanic Honda.

[C]

Volcaniconda is the coolest name I've ever heard. Volcano. You don't want none unless you got bansan.

[B]

I was thinking the same thing. Flattery will get you everywhere, my friend.

[C]

Okay, here's the thing. I know of a big stinky poopy pants and I think he would be a delicious, delectable snack for you. And he has a whole troop of. Were they mongrels? What were they? What were the guys that were with Ironclad? They're like goblins or they were like.

[A]

Like smaller versions of something, like grumblings.

[C]

Grumblings. Go on, John, hit me with them notes. Go on, John.

[B]

I like this.

[C]

You like them? Trying to figure out the name of a trollings. Trollings. Trollings.

[B]

There you go, Samson.

[C]

I. I was way off.

[B]

There you go. Inspiration die. You get it?

[C]

Barb with her hand outstretched.

[B]

I love in moments like that is it gives me a. A moment to take a bite of my uncrustable. Okay, yes, Trollings.

[C]

Okay, so Volcaniconda, Cool name. What if you and I teamed up and we found this real bad dude named Ironclad and his troop of trollings and we could go after them together and they could be your delicious, delicious snack. How does that sound instead, huh?

[B]

And what flavor are these Trollings?

[C]

Gummy candy. I was gonna say what are those things called? Trolleys. I would say like, probably like sweet and sour, you know? I'm just taking a guess. I've never had a trolling myself, but I'm imagining that they're going to take a lot, taste a lot better than I will because I'm. I am. You don't want this. There's no nutrients to be had from this disgusting husk of a body. Look at me.

[B]

Perhaps. And what's the down payment?

[C]

Down payment? I'm so glad you asked. I mean, you said you like ice cream. Is there any other things that you enjoy eating? Is there any sort of like meats or metals or wood or anything like that?

[B]

You're really fixated on food, aren't you?

[C]

I mean, you seem hungry. I'm just trying to do what? This is your domain. I walked into your house, so I know. I'm just trying to give gifts so that you don't eat me because you don't want that. I don't think neither of us are going to benefit from you eating me. Let's be real.

[B]

Not all eating is for huluka.

[C]

Are you bored? Well, that's just a bad habit. Let's talk. Let's talk about that. Let's get to the roots of this problem.

[A]

Anxiety, eating.

[C]

Boredom.

[A]

Eating.

[C]

Let's. What's something else that would bring you more joy and entertainment than eating out of boredom?

[A]

Maybe she wants some puffle fish.

[B]

Get out of here, duck. Something new, something unusual. Something I've not experienced before.

[C]

Okay, man, I am at a loss here. I'm trying to think of dig through your inventory. I'm looking through it right now. Okay, Okay, I got something. I have the perfect thing. It's going to be a fragrance.

[B]

Ice cream.

[C]

It's not ice cream. Not yet. But it's a fragrance and I think you're going to like it. Do you like nice smells?

[B]

Huh?

[C]

Ever been to the bath in Balti Vergs? Yeah. Okay, all right, cool. You're open minded to this. I like this. All right, so look at my hand, all right? And then you're going to see smell a puff and you're gonna really enjoy this. Last episode I acquired something called the mittens of mushrooms or the mitten of mushrooms is a mushroom covered thaumatech glove. It smells musty, spongy texture blows near fungus. Making a fist releases a fungal spray. 15ft cone. There's a save on it. On failure target unable to form short term memories for 1d4 turns.

[B]

Okay, I like this. I like this.

[C]

And then on a success target loses current train of thought.

[B]

This is good. This is good. I like this idea just real fast before we get the ball rolling on that. Make me a deception check since you don't actually have something yummy in there for Volcanic Honda.

[C]

I mean, you know, maybe I'm not lying. Maybe there is something to be had here.

[A]

I can't not hear that song. Now when you say Volcanic Honda. Yeah, don't want none unless you've got the actual line is the anaconda don't want 11.

[B]

Okay. The volcanic Honda eyes you and eyes your hand suspiciously. And she pulls her head up high above the lava fountain, getting close, inching closer and closer to you Told it seems like her giant head and her nose slowly approaching your outstretched fist.

[C]

Okay? And then I say now enjoy this. And I squeeze my fist and I direct the fungal spray at the Volcanic Honda.

[B]

Okay? And it looks like it's a DC13 constitution stave, is that correct?

[C]

Correct.

[B]

Constitution on the volcanic Honda is plus one. So I need a 12 or better on this. Ooh, that's a 14.

[C]

So 15 on a success target loses current train of thought.

[B]

A small puff of mist and spores release from the mitten of mushrooms and enter the Volcanic Conda's sensitive nose. And Volcanic Conda blinks a couple of times, looks around and narrows her eyes at you.

[C]

It's nice, right? That's cool. Okay, so what I was saying is if we go after Ironclad and those trollings, we're going to fill that belly right up and you're going to have a great time doing it. Cuz they're going to scream and kick and fight and we're going to have a blast. Okay, Volcanic Honda, this is what we agreed on, right? Assuming you were that deception rolled.

[B]

One more. Not a disadvantage or anything this time, just a straight deception roll.

[C]

Yes. Nat 20. Nat 21.

[B]

Ah yes, agreement. Where were these beings again?

[C]

I think I saw them by the frigates, but I'm pretty sure that they're closer by. They're on the move too. Have you heard of the Sea drinker?

[B]

That seems to catch the Volcanic Honda's attention a little bit. Yes.

[C]

In Volcanic Condo. What do we think of the Sea drinker? Just between you and me, like what's your opinions? She cool.

[B]

She not.

[C]

What's the vibe?

[B]

Worthless.

[C]

Worthless. Totally agree. Oh my gosh. Right, so anyways, I think Ironclad should be chasing after you. You're the bigger fish here. Okay. So I think we should cut him off of the knees. We should go for Ironclad. I think that'd be very fun.

[B]

Okay, a deal is adieu. And then with that, the volcanic conda dives back into the lava pit below.

[C]

Tolve collapses onto the ground. He doesn't have lungs, but he is heaving, his breath going, oh, my God, that was so close. Thank you, new glove. And then I kiss my glove and I go, where am I?

[B]

We'll do a quick scene change here to the others, check in with them, and then we'll come back to you here. Tolst. Okay.

[A]

I assume we don't hear or see any of this happening, right?

[B]

No. Okay, so Natty and Doug, you all were on your way to the mirror that Gunther called from.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You approach the mirror and then do a cross in.

[A]

I would stick just like my lips in the mirror and go, hey, Gunther, is it safer now? You good?

[C]

I like that part of Stargate where they just put their lips through the Stargate to see if it was safe on the other side. M is used. I don't know.

[B]

Doug, can you hear through your lips?

[A]

That's a good point. I could. I. I would think Doug could feel the vibrations of his voice and be able to decipher what he's saying.

[C]

Maybe if you kiss in Morse code. I'm married. No, thank you.

[A]

I stick my head in so I could see Gunther.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I. I don't remember how far I traveled. Is I even visible to the mirror at this point?

[B]

You were still close to the mirror because you had just gone through and then you didn't proceed any further. Okay.

[C]

I don't know if it is safe or not, but there is a lava cage with something in it.

[A]

Okay, well, I mean, you look to be intact, you know, like. No. You're not like a 2D version of yourself or have like different body parts coming out of other different body parts?

[C]

Not yet.

[A]

So I'm gonna come in and Natty, you wanna. Are you coming with us?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You cross through and you feel sweltering heat and you see a straight hallway. There's a marble floor with a chalk outline bordering walls throughout. There's two alcoves halfway down the hallway. And at the end of the hallway there's an arrow shaped, I guess, alcove there. Two more alcoves that are arrow shaped. And there's a cubed cage at the arrow's point. And the cage appears to be made of boiling lava.

[C]

Like lava that is holding a shape but still flowing.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Okay. And if it's a cage, I would assume. Yeah. There's visible holes in it that we can see if there's something inside of it.

[B]

Any Being in there, it does appear like there is a prisoner inside of the cage.

[A]

Do we recognize the prisoner?

[B]

It's kind of far from here. You can just see that there is a small being in there. You can't really make out any further detail.

[C]

Okay, approach. Yeah. As we're approaching Kinnadi, just like, I don't want to walk by these other Al coves. You said there are alves before you got to the arrow, like, just willy nilly. So can Natty do some sort of, like, just making sure we're not walking by, like, a trip wire or anything that's waiting for us in these little alcoves?

[B]

Yeah, make investigation check the cheeky little 14 +1 15. You come to the alves. Like I said. As you're walking down, there's one to your left and one to your right. You look to both sides, and there are metal bookcases at the end on either side on both of these alcoves. And it seems like that's it. In each alcove.

[C]

Empty bookcases or filled bookcases.

[B]

It seems like they've been picked over. There are things on them, but they're kind of a mess at the moment.

[C]

Okay, so this is more of a decorative architectural alcove where you would put your comic books. Got it.

[A]

I think I would like to go investigate the bookshelf.

[C]

Go for it.

[B]

Sure. Do you have a preference which one you go to first, your left or your right? Yeah, you go up there and begin poking around. Make an investigation check for me, Doug.

[A]

9.

[B]

You kind of pick through it, and most of the things have been pulled off and just scattered around, not only on the shelves, but on the floor in front of it. But as you're looking around, you do find a skull scroll.

[A]

Pick it up and see what it is.

[B]

Yeah, you pick it up and make me. Let's call it an arcana.

[A]

Check 11.

[B]

It appears to be a spell scroll of gaseous form.

[C]

You can turn into gas? Oh, yeah. Basically, you can, like, pass through some stuff.

[A]

Okay. Could I put that in my inventory?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I assume it'll have the details when I add it, but how long is it usually good for?

[B]

Duration is one hour.

[A]

Okay, thank you.

[B]

Then you can transform a willing creature you touch along with everything it's wearing and carrying into a misty cloud for the duration. So after you pocket that, you wanted to go to the other one, right, Doug? Yes, please.

[A]

And then I would like to look over the shelf here.

[B]

Make me an investigation check.

[A]

Something better, please.

[B]

Man, I rolled an 8 this bookcase is in a very similar fashion to the other one where it's been ransacked, maybe for lack of a better word, and picked over. And there's really nothing that stands out to you too much. You do see one unusual item. You take see a heavy duty drill, like a big heavy duty drill on the floor in front of the bookcase.

[A]

Would I recognize what this might be used for?

[B]

Typically, because you're a battlesmith and artificer, you know that this kind of drill could be used to drill holes through stone. You know, there's nothing special about it. It's a drill. It's, you know, decent quality and in, you know, given time, it can drill through stone, but seems like that's what it's used for.

[A]

Okay, could I take it?

[B]

Yeah, absolutely.

[C]

There's also a 2000, 2004 copy of the movie Dodgeball on DVD.

[A]

Did you just look up what movie, what year that came out?

[C]

Maybe. What's the dumbest DVD movie that everybody owned? Dodgeball.

[B]

Dodgeball. So Doug is finishing up in the alcoves. I'm about to deal with Natty investigating the cage. But Gunther, where are you standing while this is going on?

[C]

I was going to the cage too.

[B]

Okay, so you both are up at the cage.

[C]

Howdy. We are going to see if we recognize the person. Natty doesn't wait to see if she recognizes. She says, how? Well, I mean, as we walk up.

[B]

It'S a pretty big cage and it has like a 3D lattice structure of lava. It's. It's pretty beefy. And inside, yeah, you do see a prisoner laying prone on the floor. And so, Natty, you call out, howdy. And you get no response.

[C]

The prisoner laying on the floor, are they human? Like what shape?

[B]

It's a small prisoner, Natty. I would say it's the size of your hand. And it appears to be a squid like creature made of water.

[C]

So big cage, little squid like creature inside big cage.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Okay, how wide are the openings in the cage?

[B]

About six inches.

[C]

Okay, tell me if I can do this, Gus. Natty wants to flick her ring into the cage. And as she does that, or even just like put it like with her fingers into the cage and then enter the ring and then unenter the ring inside the cage.

[B]

Oh, okay. Weird. Yeah. Make me a dexterity check with advantage. Okay.

[C]

Oh, I got a nice roll there. Dexterity is also plus three. So that's 21. Daddy's done this before.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. You stick your hand through and then disappear for a second and Then reappear inside the cage with the ring still on your hand. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, no. Nadia, what happened? Am I able to stand somewhere or is the cage lava on the floor as well? Or is the floor a floor? Is the floor lava?

[B]

Let's. Let's say you can stand on the floor.

[C]

Can I approach Squidward?

[B]

Yeah, Squidward's on the floor in front of you laying prone.

[C]

Hi. Hey, how you doin? My name's Natty. How you doing?

[B]

Make me a medicine check.

[C]

That's a weird one. Hey, gus, that's a NAT1 critical fail. Oh no. What can I do with that? Does anybody have inspiration Dice?

[B]

Micah says it's a natty one.

[C]

That's my name.

[B]

The squid like creature is sleeping.

[C]

Oh, Natty starts playing on her auto harp and starts playing the alarm jingle from iPhones. Like, how's that go? Yeah, the kid got kidnapped. Like actually all I can think of as far as ringtones is.

[B]

That'S Nokia.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Natty starts playing the Nokia tone.

[B]

Natty with the. Yeah, make a performance check.

[C]

That one's better. 14 plus 7. So 21.

[B]

A beautiful lullaby of the great bard.

[C]

Nokia, the great Japanese bard.

[B]

Swedish, isn't it? Yeah.

[C]

Oh, was Nokia Swedish?

[B]

I believe Swedish or Norwegian. I think it's Swedish.

[C]

Learn something.

[B]

Filling the the room, however, the squid like creature is unmoving.

[C]

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[B]

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[C]

As I'm close to this little creature, am I able to recognize what kind of. You said it was squid. Like is it like just a little squid? Does it have Hands. Does it have a face? Does. Is it wearing clothes? Is it drooling while it sleeps?

[B]

I will answer in a second. Micah just kind of blew my mind. That song is based on a Chopin piece. Gran and valse brilliante, opus 18, waltz in e flat Major.

[C]

Okay. I thought it was E. Yeah, the other one. Right. What's the opposite of flat? Hold on, I just need to.

[B]

Sharp.

[C]

No, no, sharp.

[B]

I think I feel like someone said it.

[A]

Kristen.

[B]

Yeah. The creature's laying face down, but no, no, it's not wearing any clothes.

[C]

Maybe try shaking them awake. Sure. Natty gently puts her gloved hand on the little creature. And. And it's just like, good morning, sunshine. The moon says hello. Starshine. Starshine.

[A]

Morning, starshine.

[C]

Yeah. Wait. The moon says hello? It's a Willy Wonka reference.

[A]

The earth says hello.

[C]

The earth says, I had it all wrong. That's Natty's version.

[B]

Well, at this point, we'll say, Doug will have caught up. And all three of you are standing by the cage. All three of you make perception checks.

[A]

Also, the only reason I know that song is because of the Simpsons.

[C]

Oh, that's fun. Ah. 8, 19 plus 3. 22.

[A]

I also got 22.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Ooh. Doug and Natty, you both notice that this squid like creature seems to be shrinking and diminishing as time goes on here. As it lays prone in the cage.

[C]

I think the lava's hurting it.

[A]

How do we get it out?

[C]

Is it small enough now to pass through the bars?

[B]

No, it's not quite there, but it's getting close.

[A]

How big is my mage hand?

[B]

It's incorporeal.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So does it matter if it touches lava or anything like that?

[B]

That's a good question. Let me read what mage hand does.

[A]

Well, if this thing is that small, it's probably £10 or less, right?

[B]

That's a good question. It doesn't give a size for the hand and it doesn't say it's incorporeal necessarily. It's a spectral floating hand appears. What are you thinking, bar?

[A]

Well, it wouldn't make sense anyways because if it's too big to fit through the bars, I was going to try to have my mage hand, like, carry it out through the cage. But if it can't fit between the bars, then there's no point to it because it'll get.

[B]

Yeah, it's a little big for that.

[A]

Do I see any, like, big rocks or, like, anything that's, like, big and flat around this area that we're in? Maybe from the Bookshelves and the alcoves.

[B]

Well, in this area you're in, there are two additional alcohol alcoves. Here at the end of this hallway to the left and the right, you look around, and you see that at the end of both of these alcoves are metal cabinets.

[A]

Could I go and rip a door off one of the cabinets?

[B]

Sure. Which way? When you approach the cage, left or right?

[A]

Left.

[B]

You go over and you take a look at the metal cabinet and make a strength check.

[A]

Come on, Doug.

[C]

You can do it.

[A]

I'm gonna use my inspiration dime and figure it out. Okay. 16. I rolled a five at first and 16.

[B]

Yeah, you really. You kind of give it a little pull, and it doesn't give. And then you really put your back into it and pull down on the door and rip it off of its feature.

[A]

Doug will look around to Gunther and Natty to see if they saw what he did.

[C]

I think Doug is angry.

[A]

Did you see that? You see how strong I am?

[C]

Oh, Natty wasn't looking. Natty's like. Natty's looking at a little squirrel squid creature.

[A]

And then could I go back over to them and try to hold the piece of metal cabinet, like, in the lava to see if I could make a little pathway for the squid guy to come out? Yeah, like, if it's pouring down, like, if you hold it so that it makes, like, a little break in the pour.

[B]

Yeah. You stick the metal door into the lava, and a small break appears in the cage.

[C]

All right. Can I scoop up the little. The little thing and. And hand it through the opening that Doug just made?

[B]

Who you handing it to?

[C]

I guess Gunther. Yeah, I'll take it. Yeah, don't eat that, Gunther.

[B]

You hand it to Gunther. And as you do so, right after you hand it, the metal door melts and falls apart and clatters to the floor.

[C]

So creatures through. Natty's in the cage.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Natty can't do the ring trick again unless Natty takes a very long nap.

[A]

Well, I mean, I'm sure there's another cabinet door over there. You want me to go grab another one and do the same thing?

[C]

Sure.

[B]

All three of you make perception checks again.

[C]

Well, that one's only a 7.

[A]

24.

[C]

I have three, so I see everything.

[B]

Gunther sees through time. As you turn to go to the other hallway, Doug, like, the hairs on the back of your neck stick up because you feel like you hear something coming from the hallway back in the direction you all came from. You turn and you look, and you see ironclad and a handful of trollings stepping through the mirror portal that you all came through.

[C]

I want to take this the squid and. Oh wait, did I see Ironclad at this point.

[B]

Only Doug is aware at the moment.

[A]

Guys, I don't want to freak anyone out, but we gotta get out of here like asap. Natty, you hold tight. And could Doug go run and grab another one of those like metal doors off of the cabinet?

[B]

Sure.

[C]

Nettie just starts playing an otter harp.

[A]

Just.

[C]

No. Nobody knows the trouble. I see. Can Gunther also take the sea drinker and put. I don't know if that. Sorry, I'm assuming that's an assumption. I'm just gonna say I'm pretty sure it's the sea drinker as well. Take the squid creature and hide it in its bag and also look for a place to hide.

[B]

Yes. Make me one more perception check, Gunther. Specifically 19.

[C]

I. I want to say that I have an idea of someone to do so before you move on action, Gus, I do want to say Natty has some drones to do as well, but I want Gunther to have his chance.

[B]

Yeah. You look for a way to stash the squid like creature in your bag. And as you're handling it, you know, you. You're the person now who has the most, literally the most hands on time with this creature. You see that it's a squid like creature. That's. It's almost like it's made out of water. It's very flowy. And as you, as you're handling it, you see that it has a face.

[C]

Tendril like a little baby Cthulhu. Did I find a place that I could hide also away from Ironclad?

[B]

Yeah, just make a stealth check.

[C]

That's a 14.

[B]

You try to position yourself around the corner so that you're not really visible to Ironclad and the trollings.

[C]

I found that thing of ever flowing water, I think on the ship. I can't remember what it was called.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[C]

Because I forgot to add it to my inventory.

[B]

You guys are great.

[C]

But can I take that and. And give and pour. Give some water to the little dude or girl or squid?

[B]

Yeah. What does that do?

[C]

That item from memory? It's a can canteen of water that has ever flowing water from it.

[B]

Okay, wait. You put the creature in your bag and then you begin pouring water over it in your bag?

[C]

Yeah, I just wanted to make sure it was hidden from Ironclad.

[B]

Okay, we'll get to that in a moment as we determine what that does. Specifically, Natty had something she Wanted to do.

[C]

Yeah. Since you said that at the other end of the hallway, we could not tell what was in the cage from that distance, I'm assuming Ironclad can't tell what's in the cage right now as well. Am I correct in assuming that, Gus?

[B]

Maybe it's also exacerbated by the fact that this creature was so small. But proceed. I mean, let's see where this goes.

[C]

I cast disguise self. Yes. And Natty turns. Turns into. I can only turn. I can go one. Oh, yeah. I'll turn into a small squid. As small as Natty can be. I think I can go one size smaller.

[B]

Yeah. So you're medium sized, typically. So you could go small.

[C]

I go small squid.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And I. And I. And I just. And I just collapse on the floor.

[B]

And lay down.

[C]

Like Woody from Toy Story. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's coming.

[B]

And Ironclad and the trollings have just entered, Entered the room and are proceeding down the hallway with that. Let's do a quick cut back to Tolvood.

[C]

Almost done.

[B]

All right, back to everyone else. All right, Tolva, you're. You're by yourself in this big room, the Crystalis room.

[C]

Nobody knows. Okay, I want to find an exit out of here.

[B]

So you entered this room from the south. So I'm going to read it from that perspective. Okay. There were descending stone steps, and this room was very hot, sweltering heat. And then as you entered down those steps, a rusty metal door closed behind you at the bottom of those stairs. And in this room, it was a big, circular metallic room at a domed roof with small vents and six crystal chrysalises on the edge of a central pool of lava. It was bordered with mosaic tiles. There was a woolen curtain along the northern wall. You went and pulled that curtain down, and you found two raised tiles hidden behind it. The west tile was blue and the east tile was red.

[C]

Western tile is blue. Eastern tile is red. Step on blue tile. Mist enters the room. Step on red tile. Mist stops warmth and hot air radiates into the room.

[B]

Yes. That was it.

[C]

Okay, I'm gonna just hit the blue tile just because I think that that's. It's so hot and lava y in here. I think a little ac might not be a bad idea.

[B]

Yeah, you hit it. And it begins misting again. Okay.

[C]

Oh, that's nice, though. That's gotta moisturize my dad's skin. You gotta take good care of it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Are they close, the tiles?

[B]

There's a little distance between them. It's probably 35, 40ft between them. Okay.

[C]

How much weight is required to press down the tiles? Or once they're down, do they stay down?

[B]

It seems like it didn't take very much pressure, so it's probably not a ton. And when you it. It doesn't stay down, it's like it clicks.

[C]

Okay, I have a hand ax. I'm not sure where or when I got this, but I have a hand axe.

[B]

I think you got it from one of the trollings. Maybe. But anyway, go ahead.

[C]

Possibly I'm gonna put a hand ax on the blue tile and then step away and then see if it stays down.

[B]

You push it onto the blue tile and it begins raining in the room. And it. But it does stay down.

[C]

Oh, this is nice. Yeah. Okay, then I'm gonna go to the red tile. I'm just gonna stand on that.

[B]

The second you step on the red tile, that door that closed at the southern end of the room pops back open.

[C]

Ding, ding, ding.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

What useless crud do I not need that will weigh this down. I kid you not. You can look into my character sheet. I have two hand axes. I don't intend on using these hand axes, so I'm just going to. There's crystalline shards. I want to remember shattering those crystalline chrystam crystalises. If I gathered enough of that stuff, I'm going to. I'm going to gather a bunch of the crystal shards onto that other tile and see if it weighs down.

[B]

You gather a bunch of crystal and shards, and it doesn't seem like it takes very much weight. And it does weigh it down. Button in position.

[C]

And then I'm gonna go out that door. Boopadoo. I beat this puzzle.

[B]

Yeah. You go out the door to the south, back up the stairs, and as you get to the. The top of the stairs, you were met with a Y. You came from the left hand side, but then the passageway also continues to the right hand side.

[C]

So. And you said, I've already gone down the left hand side.

[B]

Yeah, the left hand side. There was the well that you had appeared in and there was those butterflies and you left that area, came up this way, and that's how you got to this room.

[C]

Okay, next question. Where are the mca? I'm going to go down the right path. Let's keep going. No one's like getting blank expressions. Not a lot. Okay, he got me. Yeah, I saw. Thank you, Chris. Unfortunately, this isn't a podcast. So when you. When you laugh or smile to yourself, no one knows. We know. For the record I didn't smile or laugh at anything to get that. Blaine said, I just want to make that very easy. That's fine. All right, I'm gonna right path.

[B]

You go down to the right, and as you do so in cardinal direction wise, this is the southwest. You head down to the right path to the southwest, and it dead ends into a crystal mirror. This is very similar to the one you walked through in that other room that took you to the well.

[C]

Okay. But it was gonna. We can too. I'm gonna jump through that mirror. I'm hoping it's a portal and not just a mirror. This is gonna get real embarrassing.

[B]

Give me seven years of bad luck, K. You jump through the mirror and it is a portal, and instantly you feel sweltering heat. And before you is a straight hallway with a marble floor with a chalk outline bordering walls throughout. There's two alcoves halfway down the hallway, an arrowhead shaped end at the the end of the hallway with two more alcoves and a cubed cage at the very end made of lava. Between you and the cage stand Ironclad and several trollings.

[A]

Does he see us too?

[C]

I was watching Blaine's face that entire time you were describing that, Gus. At no point did he light up and understand what you were describing. No. The chalk out line. I knew what that was. I recognize. I listen to your parts, Johnson. Can you talk about my room? I got a picture of your room drawn in my pad. All right, so is Ironclad. Is he facing away from me or is. Or does he see me?

[B]

Ironclad and the trollings are facing away from you walking towards the end of the hallway. I'm gonna make a perception check for them and I'll let you guys. I hope they don't see me. 14. A handful of the trollings turn around and look at you, tol.

[C]

I give a little finger wave and then Jack. Yeah, yeah. I sprint to Ironclad and just while his back is turned, just slam him in the back with my warhammer.

[B]

All right, so just make a normal attack roll on Ironclad here.

[C]

I'm gonna rage, like, while I'm running up on him. He probably knows I'm there because I'm growling because I'm raging. Sounds like water, boy. And that is a 17.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

That hits great.

[C]

10 plus my rage. I get plus two. So 12.

[B]

You bring your weapon down onto Ironclad, hitting him, doing 12 points of damage. You see a smile cross his mouth as he looks at you.

[A]

Toll.

[C]

Oh, you've come back to Join. Yeah. And here's my second attack, and then I'm gonna hit him with my warhammer once again.

[B]

All right, go and roll that attack.

[C]

Oh, come on. Come on. It's not as cool when I miss 10.

[B]

Yeah, that misses.

[C]

Hey, remember all the good times we had together, Gus? Like, it's never gonna inspire you or.

[B]

Anything to, you know, I told you die a little while ago.

[C]

Me?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

I just want to point out you also rolled a three on persuasion against that lava thing, and then Gus proceeded to have an entire conversation with you despite the fact that you seriously failed panel of judges. Did Gus give you an inspiration earlier? When did that happen?

[B]

Yeah, when you said, I'm paying attention to your room. I listened to your parts. I said, take an inspiration die, blade.

[C]

I wasn't paying attention. All right, cool.

[B]

That.

[C]

I'm going to reuse my inspiration die that I have. Yeah. That attack again, give me something better. 16. I wanted to fail. I wanted to fail. Take that, John. Rolling damage for that one. It is not bad. That's a 13 plus the 2 from rage 15.

[B]

He, you know, sees the attack coming, and as your hammer is about to. To strike him, he raises his shark tooth mace and redirects the attack and causes your warhammer to hit the ground. And then in the same sweeping motion, brings his mace around and strikes you with it.

[C]

That's no fun.

[B]

Let's see if he hits 17, which. Plus 6. A 23. That hit.

[C]

Yeah, Chris, that hit.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

Valid question.

[C]

There are. There are volumes of information to the relationship you have with Christopher and how you just said that. We'll have to talk on Second wind about the Home Depot trip Chris and I just took this morning.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

If you've ever just experienced a day with Chris Damaris, you're missing out. Wait, you just said if you have missed a day, if you haven't. If you've had. If you've had anyways fun at Home Depot. Yeah, you did like taking your son to the Home Depot experience.

[B]

He hits you doing 14 points of damage.

[C]

Okay, I will take seven of that because I am raging.

[B]

You also also take an additional seven points of cold damage, which you take the full amount. You don't. Your raging doesn't diminish that.

[C]

Well, Soul's having a bad time, and the.

[B]

The cold, like, goes down to your core, and it's like, ooh, you were really hot in the lava room with the volcanic condo, but now you just feel really cold.

[C]

It's not very chill of him.

[B]

It is chill of him. The effect is called Chilled. So from a metagame perspective, you're at half speed and you can only make one action or bonus action until the start of Ironclad next turn.

[C]

I'm just gonna stop responding because Gus is just gonna keep layering more attacks on me.

[B]

Everyone go ahead and roll me, Initiative, just so I can keep track of this.

[A]

I'm sleepy. I'm pulling off doors on things. 10, 15, 21 9. I was thinking it would be very funny if Natty did in fact turn into this little squid that they do think is if this is the. The sea drinker tbd that they end up taking Natty. And then we just don't have Natty with us anymore. She's gone.

[B]

Mission accomplished.

[C]

Later, just disappears into your ring and they're like, I'm prepared to make that sacrifice.

[B]

So the Initiative order is going to be Doug Gunther told Natty, then Ironclad and the Trollings. Doug, you're up first. And then after, he's Gunther.

[A]

Where am I currently? Like, am I over in the alcove? Get in that door. Or am I right?

[B]

You are around the corner in that alcove. But you were aware that Ironclad and the Trollings were there. You just might not know that Tolve was there. But I'm sure you heard scuffling now out in that area.

[A]

Okay, could I quickly look around this area and see, like, look around, see if there's anything that might help me in the situation, like a weapon or any other spell scrolls for you.

[B]

Anything.

[C]

Wow. Wow.

[B]

Make an investigation. Check eight. So there's a metal cabinet here that's open and appears to be pretty much rummaged through, and there's not much left. You do find a single thick piece of speckled chalk.

[A]

Okay. Speckled chalk.

[B]

Yeah, it's kind of heavy.

[C]

The room is outlined in chalk for some reason also.

[A]

Oh, I totally forgot about that detail. Could I pick it up?

[B]

Yeah. Ooh, it's heavy. Make me an arcana. Check.

[A]

Okay, it's 20.

[B]

You've heard of this kind of item before. This is what's referred to as the Chalk of Truth.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

Okay. What do I know about it?

[B]

This allows you to draw an outline on the ground, I guess, Presumably. And it's the same effect as casting Zone of Truth. Anyone within the boundary of the chalk is under the influence of Zone of.

[C]

Truth, and its whole room is chalk outlined. Out of curiosity, is that finite? The chalk? It's not mine, but I'm just curious.

[B]

It is finite. It appears there's probably enough to draw about 10ft left.

[A]

Oh, okay. But Gunther already saw that this whole room was outlined in chalk.

[B]

Yeah. Okay, before you proceed, Doug, do me a favor. The three of you who were in here earlier, make me constitution saving throws.

[C]

13, 11, 15.

[B]

It's really hot in here. Natty, you're dealing with it. Okay. But Gunther and Doug, it's just like, it's really starting to wear you down. Metagame wise, both Doug and Gunther, you take one level of exhaustion.

[C]

Oh my goodness. Gunther, you're from the desert, man. What are you doing? Yeah, you're out of practice.

[B]

We're gonna do a quick homebrew adjustment here to exhaustion. Instead of what it normally does, we're just gonna have it be minus one to your rolls outside of combat until a long rest. It's a, it's a little, little easier to remember.

[A]

So other than the like combat stuff. So like any sort of attack or damage.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Okay. All right, Doug, I was in the process of trying to tear off another metal door, so could I finish doing that?

[B]

Yeah. Make me a strength check.

[A]

Okay. 14. It was going to be a nat 20 and then it rolled over to a 14.

[C]

Still.

[B]

Okay, still good enough. You know how to, how to do this. Now you have some experience from the other side. You put your, your back into it, put all your weight down into it and rip the door off. And. Yeah, it's in your hands.

[A]

Okay, so could I run back into the room holding this door?

[B]

Yeah, you're able to run down. It's not very far. It's 10ft maybe.

[A]

And I don't know if I'm allowed to do this all in one turn, but I want to put the door under the lava for just a brief moment in time and then try to whip it at Ironclad.

[B]

Shape it up, whip it good. Is your goal to, to try to help Natty get out or is it just to make it like a lava weapon that you're throwing at Ironclad?

[A]

I want to do a little bit of both. I want to make a little gap for Natty to run out under, but also then before it melts, throw it at him. Because a metal door that's like half melted with lava I think is going to hurt real good.

[C]

I don't know. Melted metal, when has that ever hurt anyone?

[A]

Onto skin. I know you run up to the.

[B]

Cage and it looks like Natty's no longer in the cage. There's a small hand sized squid like creature in the cage.

[A]

Mind having deja vu? I feel like we already saved a little squid in this cage this way, but. Hey, little guy. Come on, Schlitter out of here. Could I just reach under and pull it out?

[B]

Yeah, you're able to grab Natty.

[C]

It's an illusion. So you'd just be grabbing Natty. It's an illusion. So you still have to have the size to fit through.

[B]

Is that correct?

[C]

Chris, what are you doing? Chris, what are you doing? Oh, sorry.

[A]

I mean, I, I would probably put it like at my height, you know, like I would just hold it kind of.

[B]

It's big enough to get Natty.

[C]

Natty perks up and goes, hey, dad. And I guess I would have to wait for my turn to move. Yeah, okay.

[A]

Oh, then I don't know if this is going to work.

[C]

Then you gotta, you gotta wait. You have to hold it so you could wouldn't throw it right.

[B]

I guess at this point we would be out of actions because you rip the door off, pull Natty and you're still holding it. So. Yeah, there would be nothing left over to throw it.

[A]

That's fine. I, I, my priority is getting Natty out.

[C]

Natty's out of the cage. Thank you, Doug. Doug did good.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Doug do.

[C]

Doug do. Doug figured it out.

[A]

Doug did. Diggy dud.

[B]

All right, that's it for Doug then. It's Gunther. After Gunther is told.

[C]

So. I was already pouring the water.

[B]

Yeah, you are pouring the water onto the squid like creature. Make me a perception check. Gunther 11. The creature still appears to be unconscious, but it doesn't seem like it's diminishing in size any longer.

[C]

Okay, I'm gonna whisper to it. Nadorda norda Soft J or Sea drinker. We're here to help you. Does it respond?

[B]

No. You get no response. Okay, that's a good, good callback though, Chris. I'm impressed.

[C]

Yeah, no, great, great. I was proud of it. Well, I don't want to blow my cover. I, I'm gonna stay hidden and see how this plays out. Tom's got this.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Nursing the, huh, Sea drinker, presumably.

[B]

Well, I'll give you the option, Chris. You can either keep your existing stealth roll of 14, or if you want, I'll let you roll stealth again to try to hide.

[C]

Even better, buddy. No, but you got to take, you got to take what you roll.

[B]

If it's worse, it's going to be the worst roll. Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

All right, I'll do it. He'll take that gamble.

[B]

Yeah. You want to trade door number one for door number two?

[C]

Timely reference. Gus.

[B]

You rolled a ten.

[C]

I have an inspiration. Die.

[B]

Okay, door number three.

[C]

18.

[B]

All right.

[C]

Yeah, that's a little better because I think my Last one was 14.

[B]

Yeah. And this is an outside of combat roll, so it'd be a minus one. So it's 17, which is still better than 14. So yeah, I think Gunther likes to. Or does that thing you see like frogs sometimes where they like get real flat or they like try to like squish themselves down to. Yeah. Get even smaller. So that's what Gunther presumably is doing. Anything else, Gunther?

[C]

Is it frogs that do. It might not be frogs that do this. It might just be lizards. But they do the thing where they get down in the dirt and then they vibrate a bunch and then they disappear into the sand. I think that's more lizards.

[B]

I think it's lizards. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

And I'm just gonna keep. Yeah, keep the sea drinker drinking up and then wait on my actual like action to see what happens.

[B]

Okay. In that case we go over to Tolve and after to is natty.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Yoo, yoo. It's me, Torv.

[C]

They say this. Hold on, hold on. Let me collect my thoughts. We're going to be here for a while. No, no, no.

[B]

Not many passing through.

[C]

Got a filing system and we're there. Okay, great. I'm glad. I've had enough of your trouble. You cannot take the sea drinker. And I have brought backup. It's time to heat things up. I summon you, Volcaniconda. Please God, please just come.

[A]

They're gonna do it.

[C]

If they're gonna do anything happen to save you.

[B]

I was wondering where that was gonna go.

[C]

Make a.

[B]

Okay, first of all, just roll me a D20. This is for me. Okay.

[C]

This is gonna be hilarious. If nothing happens, I'm gonna have egg all over my face. 17.

[B]

Okay, now make me a persuasion check.

[C]

I love how little each of us knows about what happened in that five second period of time.

[A]

I know. We're just like, huh, who?

[C]

I hid. You became a duplicate. You got a door and you ran in and hit. It's like, God. Well, we're all. We're all our own people, you know. That was a 50. We contain multitudes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All right, one second. Communicating. Sure.

[C]

When do we tell people that Micah is actually AI bot that Gus has to talk to? He drinks so much water.

[B]

In the comments for this, let me know what Micah stands for.

[C]

For.

[B]

For our AI Chatbot.

[C]

What version are we on?

[A]

Hey, guys, have you heard of Gold Belly? It's this amazing site where they ship the most iconic, famous foods from restaurants across the country, anywhere nationwide. I've never found a more perfect gift than food. Gold belly ship, Chicago deep dish pizza, New York bagels, Maine lobster rolls, and even Ina Garden's famous cakes. So if you're looking for a gift for the food lover in your life, head to goldbelly.com and get 20% off your first order with promo code GIFT. That's goldbelly.com promo code GIFT.

[B]

Okay. You summon the volcanic Honda, and nothing seems to happen.

[C]

Who could have seen that coming? I said it's flame horn. Volcaniconda. It's. It's time to duel. Are you trying again? I point at the vault, at the lava bars behind Ironclad, and I say, there it is. As you look.

[B]

I'm gonna make a. I'm gonna make a roll here.

[C]

How many. How many. How many tries at these tricks does Blaine get? Gus?

[B]

I think Ironclad.

[A]

All of them.

[C]

All of them? Yeah, Literally all of them. Okay, that's very generous. I'm here for it. I'm here for it.

[B]

I think Ironclad might be worried. Might be worried about you at this point. I'll tell you what. Go ahead and roll me a charisma saving throw.

[C]

Okay. Hold on. Really quick rage. What kind of advantages does it give me on not charisma. I can tell you. I can tell you without looking at your character sheet. There's nothing about rage. Side hurts. Five. Oh, my gosh, the hubris.

[B]

You point at the cage and open your mouth, but you can't make those words come out.

[C]

Oh, zone of truth. Well, even with the point, does he look? Does he look? So wait, what does that sound like? This is our best combat ever, everybody. Okay, I just want to point that out. This is our best combat.

[B]

Cold uses halitosis this against Ironclad. Yeah, Ironclad just kind of like, furrows his brow, looks at you, and asks.

[C]

Are you okay, son? I hit him with a warhammer. Don't tell me, son. All right, that is good Lord, Blaine, what are you doing?

[B]

12. That does not hit.

[C]

I go for another strike. I roll again because this is my second attack.

[B]

All right.

[C]

I was just picking up momentum for this one, which is 17. Okay, now I know what you're gonna do. All right, here's the damage. Just gonna make me do this. It's just a dash my hopes. Eight plus two. Ten.

[B]

Yeah. You bring your warhammer down and strike Ironclad doing a full 10 points of damage.

[C]

Okay. All right. Go.

[B]

Told. Yeah, he doesn't have another reaction so he can't do it again. Okay.

[C]

Between you and me. Something cool was supposed to happen. This is kind of a let down for the both of us.

[B]

All right.

[C]

I thought this was going to really things were going to pop off.

[B]

I'm so confused.

[C]

All right.

[B]

So to you took your two attacks. Is there anything else you want to do? I do want to remind you you're chilled. So you wouldn't even have your bonus action. Is that going to be it for you?

[C]

Sounds like that's it for me.

[B]

All right, Natty. It's you. Then after Natty's Ironclad and the trolling. So we go back up to the top.

[C]

Okay. Man, Natty. I don't even know if disguise self. Turning that off requires time. It's at will. So I can like stop being a squid if I want. But I'm not.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[C]

I'm not. I'm gonna confuse the heck out of these guys. A little squid.

[B]

She's a kid.

[C]

Yeah. Don't punch her. Okay. So Ironclad and his backup dancers are in the hallway.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I would imagine they are quite close together.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

In a group.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Which is great because a group is in the shape of a moat. A mote of hell did say things would heat up. So yeah. Just a little delayed on the punchline. Natty raises her little tendrils and screams in a. In a southern accent that sounds like a squid and just goes. Mode of hell.

[A]

Nice.

[C]

And that goes. And I will read you when that happens. You manifest a pocket of hell. 15 foot radius sphere. So I'm gonna need you gather as many of them little trollings in that 15 foot radius as I can.

[B]

I think you can get all of them. Yeah.

[C]

Good. And iron butt.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Is that we're gonna call them now canonically as well.

[C]

And then so they're gonna need to do some rolls. Creatures starts their turn in that area takes 3D6 fire damage. Creature ends their turn. That area must succeed on a wisdom saving throw or take psychic damage that I can roll for. And also as a reminder, no light can escape or enter it. So they are blind did as well. Okay.

[B]

And I assume you're a good friend to to so you do not include him in the mode of hell. Yoo to's there? Yeah, he was. He's up there like doing the warhammer.

[C]

I'm. I'm messing. Of course he includes me. Wink wink.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

No. Natty loves to.

[B]

Okay John.

[C]

Well we'll see.

[B]

So in front of you to just this Wall of darkness raises and you're unable to see Ironclad, who was standing in front of you a second ago. Oh, cool.

[C]

Yeah, I knew you'd come up volcanic Honda. But Tolve can hear, because it's described in there, that you can hear the cries of damned souls 30ft from that thing. So you could just hear just nice cries of darned souls.

[B]

Yikes.

[A]

Oh, is that what it sounded like?

[C]

Yeah, that was, like, one of them.

[A]

Beautiful.

[B]

So they will make their saves at the start of their turns, because it seems like that's when the damage kicks in.

[C]

They will take their damage at the start of their turns, and then if they end their turns there, they do a saving throw.

[B]

Okay, I see. Okay.

[C]

Fire, no matter what, psychic if they stay there.

[B]

Okay, got it.

[C]

Which I'mma point this out. How wide is the hallway?

[B]

You might have filled it. Let me look.

[C]

That's what I'm hoping. So then if they want to get out of there, I'm imagining that you would probably need to do some sort of, like, roll to see if they can actually go the right direction. Not straight into a wall.

[B]

It's pretty narrow. It's only not even 10ft wide.

[C]

Perfect. Nailed it. How am I going to get over this moat of hell? It's a little moat for me. Natty. Natty puts a little squid paw out for Doug to give high five.

[A]

Could I. Am I allowed to five it even though it's not my turn?

[C]

Yeah, free action. Free action, Micah. I'll make the sound effect for this.

[A]

I'm also just thinking about, like, squid in, like, the fur of a paw. Like, just.

[B]

Micah's asking a great question. What is a squid paw?

[C]

What does it look like?

[B]

I think it would be a tendril or a tentacle.

[A]

Yeah. There you go.

[B]

Okay. Anything else, Natty?

[C]

No, I was gonna. I thought of something. I was like, no, that won't work out. So, no, I'm good. I'm just gonna hang there. I don't think there's any bonus actions that I need to take or can take. So, yeah, let's just call it there, you know, guys? Let's just call it there.

[B]

Okay. I can't believe I'm gonna say this. You want Giggy to do anything or.

[C]

No, I was gonna send Giggy in, but Gigi would take damage.

[B]

Gotcha. Okay.

[C]

Gigi is going to run to the edge of it and just kind of dance there excitedly, just wanting to get into the little moat.

[B]

He's like, all right.

[C]

Just waiting for someone to come out. Just Waiting for someone to come out with his little. He's got a little axe in his hand. He's like shadow box. Ready?

[B]

Yeah. The first creature that comes out, Giggy's taking a swing. Reading that attack of opportunity.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. So then it is Ironclad's turn. Ironclad is starting their turn in the mode of hell. So instantly, that is 3D6 fire damage. Why don't you roll that for me to make it fun, John?

[C]

Way to go, John. Yeah, that's a. What's that, a three. That's a five and that's a three. So 11.

[B]

11 points of fire damage. Okay. So Ironclad's in it to. Was in front of him, fully blinded. Yeah, fully blinded. Unsure. I think he would take a step forward to try to get out of it in the direction he was facing. I'm going to. Gonna roll a D4. A1 is bad for ironclad. Anything else is fine. Two. All right. Yeah. He successfully takes a step in the right direction, exiting the moat of hell. Look of horror in his eyes, standing next to Toll to. If you wanted to take an attack of opportunity, you would be able to. At this point.

[C]

You know, I want to. I had a thing. It was a kind of a reaction, I think was an opportunity to attack. I think it might have involved the proximity of friends, though, so I don't know that's applicable here. Guardian. Immediately after a creature within five feet of you takes damage, takes the disengage action or hits a target over other than you with an attack, you can tap the opportunity. Halt. When you hit a creature with an opportunity attack, the creature's speed becomes zero for the rest of the current turn. Halt.

[B]

If you hit him, he will be unable to move any further. Further.

[C]

Okay, so if I hit him into the moat, could I make him halt in the moat?

[B]

Well, he's moved out. Normally you would have to, like, hit him and then shove him, but it's just a reaction. Right. So you only have the opportunity to hit.

[C]

Could I do a shove as my opportunity to attack back into the moat.

[B]

Oh, that's interesting. An interesting idea. I'll say this. We would do a strength check. You against Ironclad. If you are able to beat him in a strength check, I'll say it's an opportunity attack. You do like one point of damage, but you do shove him back into the moat.

[C]

Okay, well, I have a. I have advantage on strength checks and saving throws because I'm raging.

[B]

Yeah, you got that going for you.

[C]

All right. I'm Gonna do that.

[B]

I have a plus four on this. You want me to roll first or you want to roll first?

[C]

Well, really quick, I have. I get bludgeoning damage. Can I take that?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Or.

[C]

Oh, it's just four straight. There's no roll.

[B]

Like, that's your modifier. You have a plus four, like, for anything, then that's what it rolled there. I mean, yeah, sure, I said one before, but four, sure.

[C]

Okay, four. And then do I get the plus two because it's melee damage. Oh, well, strength weapons, though.

[B]

I feel like we're already. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Hey, hey, Gus, don't even worry about it.

[B]

I'm just goofing around.

[C]

We're just having a. Yeah, okay. Yeah, you got some really strength check.

[B]

All right, that is a 15, plus four is a 19.

[C]

Okay. And so I'm going to make my strength check, and I have advantage because I'm raging. So we're going to do this.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Come on.

[B]

Come on. One. Come on. That one. Come on.

[C]

What are you doing? Gus, don't. Come on, you fart. That's a one. Don't. All right, hold on, hold on. I just need a. Wait, but both of them.

[B]

No, no, that's his first roll.

[C]

No, just the first one. I just need to, I need to warm up my hands. Chris.

[B]

All right, blow on the dice. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

8. Hey, call for the lava snake again. Maybe that'll help.

[B]

Yeah, you put your hands out and, you know, really give your best shove on Iron Cloud. But he's just unmoving.

[C]

Okay. You know how, like, when you, you, you start to do something, but it's kind of failing, so you just kind of like, I, I, I start to push him, and then I just kind of dust him off and you just things off of you. My goodness. Is this ash from the motive hell? My goodness.

[B]

Yeah, so he, he, he does manage to step out, and he's standing next to you. He's going to take a swing at you with that shark tooth mace again. Ooh. And that is a hit. That is a critical hit for him.

[C]

What?

[B]

Are you sure? Doing 16 points of slashing damage. Okay, so you take half of that 8. Aren't you proud of me?

[C]

I did math, Papa.

[B]

On top of that, he does an additional seven points of cold damage. Oh, this is the part of the.

[C]

Pokemon game where I'm going. Good thing that he only has that one attack. Let's. All right, who's next in initiative? Let's move on. You started this. You started this.

[B]

He brings the mace around Again doing, oh, my God, this is not good for you.

[C]

Or blank.

[B]

20 points of slashing damage.

[C]

Will that only be 10? It doesn't matter. Chris Cold is down.

[B]

Cole falls to the ground, and a smirk spreads slowly across Ironclad's face.

[C]

My words right before I go down were volcanic on. I tried to make a new smart. We could have had a volcanic Honda day. We could have had volcanic Honda merch. All right, Gus and Micah, wouldn't you have, like a volcanic Honda scarf? This is the. You guys. This is your missed op. This is that. I did my part. Yeah. Now it's just a volcanic canton. Never mind.

[B]

Nailed it.

[C]

We're dead in the water here, Chris.

[B]

Ironclad shakes his head, says, poor to.

[C]

What's happened to you?

[B]

And I guess there's no one else for him to attack. He can't. He does not. I should say not that he can't. He does not want to go back through that moat. So he's going to wait on this side of the moat for now. And it is the trolling's turn. All right, so they all take 3d6 fire damage at the start of their turn.

[C]

Yeah, we roll one for each of them. Or just a general.

[B]

I'll leave it to you. Which do you prefer?

[C]

How many trollings?

[B]

Four.

[C]

I'll just do one for all of them.

[B]

All right.

[C]

Four time crit. Six. Four. Three. Not 13. Above average. So.

[B]

Oh, and they don't know because they're in the middle of the moat. Yeah, I'm gonna roll. And they're more in the middle than Ironclad was. Yeah. So again, I'm gonna roll a D4. Only a number four is good for them here. Any other number and they. They get lost. They don't know what direction to go.

[C]

You do an individuals or as a group?

[B]

Group two.

[C]

Yeah, you should do it as a group. That's good. That's good. Don't do it. He was ready to say the opposite.

[A]

If it got a four. You're like, you should do for each of them.

[C]

All right, so yeah, they're unable to leave the moat.

[B]

Yeah, they. They try to leave the moat, but they don't go in the right direction. So the four of them are stumbling around in the moat, unable to cool escape. So they end their turn in the moat, which means they need to make a DC15 wisdom saving throw. Correct?

[C]

Correct, sir.

[B]

And you'd be shocked to learn they have a minus three on this roll. So I'm just gonna roll once for all of them. They need an 18 or better.

[C]

Cool.

[B]

That's a 6, which is a failure.

[C]

This spell is so powerful. It's super powerful. Yeah, yeah. So powerful I can't cast it many times. All right, I'm a roll for psychic damage. 4, 6, 2, 12.

[B]

Everyone except toll. Make me a perception check.

[A]

All righty.

[C]

You don't want me to perceive.

[B]

No, no, no. You're not perceiving much right now, big guy.

[A]

20.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

9. 18.

[B]

So with a 20 and an 18, Doug and Natty. You hear the sound of four bodies hitting the floor.

[A]

Oh, let your bodies hit the floor. Floor.

[C]

Natty joins in with.

[A]

I like to imagine that Natty actually can do that. Like, really deep, raspy, heavy metal voice.

[C]

Yeah. Okay. Then Natty will drop the spell.

[B]

Okay. It's.

[C]

No, Natty will not drop the spell. Natty will not drop the spell. Are you sure? Cause Ironclad's on the other side.

[A]

Yeah, but if we want to get to Tolve, are we able to with that spell up?

[C]

Okay, let's solve this in world. Doug, I think I took care of the red shirts. How we gonna get to Tolve?

[A]

I mean, is there, like, a way around this area of effect here to get to him? I don't know. I don't see any other way.

[C]

No. Maybe. Could you throw Gunther over the moat? Well, I don't think you'll know where I am.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know. I see. I don't even know if he's close enough for us to grab and throw. I would drop it.

[C]

Okay, I'll drop it. I'll drop it. I drop it.

[B]

Okay. The Gigi attacks. He would attack with Ironclad. Move to the other side. Okay. Okay.

[C]

Gigi. Then Gigi attends to tolve.

[B]

Oh, okay. Well.

[C]

Attacks one of the dead goblin things.

[B]

Yeah. Trolls trolling.

[A]

He's trolling.

[C]

Gigi doesn't want to attend to Tolve.

[B]

Okay, I will say Ironclad is up there as well. So it would put Gigi, like, in harm's way of Ironclad.

[C]

Could Giggie get to Ironclad then?

[B]

Conceivably, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Then I want Giggy to attack Ironclad.

[B]

Okay, Go for it.

[C]

Yeah. He was ready. And there's all these dead bodies, and, you know, I didn't do anything to them.

[B]

Go for it.

[C]

Okay. Gigi rolls for an attack before Gigi does that.

[B]

Can Gigi make a perception check?

[C]

Gigi can make a perception check.

[A]

What does Gigi perceive with his special eyes?

[C]

They're just walleyed, staring in Two different directions. Perception is a wisdom modifier. You rolled a one. All right, what does Giggy see? What does Giggy see?

[B]

Giggy sees red. Giggy sees Tolv on the ground. And Ironclad standing up there.

[C]

Gigi blinks with each individual eyelid.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

At different times.

[B]

Go for it, Gigi. Okay, cool.

[C]

Rolls. 15 plus one. So 16.

[B]

If this is what the ax we've been saying, Gigi has disadvantage because it's big.

[C]

Help me, Gigi. Vonda. You are my only hope. My butt.

[B]

So, yeah, the lowest rolls, the 16.

[C]

Kindly eat my butt.

[B]

Which connects.

[C]

All right, Let me see. 2D, 6, 3, 4, 7.

[B]

Seven points of, I presume, slashing damage with that ax. Yeah, every time. I think I say it every time, but I feel like Giggy spins up like a top with that ax, swirling around like a Tasmanian devil with an ax on the outside. It impacts Ironclad right in the shins.

[C]

It's like Link. And when he's, like, doing his little spin attack in, like, Tears of the Kingdom.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, Right? That's pretty good.

[C]

He did that, too.

[B]

Okay. Is that it for Gigster?

[C]

Yeah, like a Tasmanian devil. That's what he said. Oh, sorry.

[B]

Yeah, that's exactly what I said.

[A]

I don't know if it would have affected anything with our rules, but I remember we're supposed to add negative one to, like, you asked for, like, percept. Oh, so, like, even perception checks inside of combat are still not affected.

[B]

No, you're right. That would have been outside. I didn't make Giggy roll. Or I didn't make Giggy take exhaustion, but you're right. Yeah, I just meant, like, I don't think anyone's been within one of a roll anyway, so it wouldn't have affected any. Anything.

[C]

And. And Natty. Natty succeeded on that.

[A]

Yeah. I think it was just me and Gunther that took exhaustion.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Correct.

[B]

Okay, we're back up to the top of the initiative. Doug, it's gonna be you, then, Gunther. Doug, make me a perception check. Minus one.

[A]

That was a nat. 20 for a 26, so it'd be 25, I guess.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

You feel the ground beneath your feet beginning to slowly rumble. You see the cabinets slowly start shaking on the ground? Oh.

[A]

You know, judging by the fact that we saw lava in here before, and this is shaking, I don't got a good feeling about this. There might be a little bit of an eruption at some point.

[C]

Well, we're just at the bottom of the sea floor where the upper crust of the world is and there ain't nothing under that crust that's dangerous.

[A]

We'll be eating pufflefish shoes as you.

[B]

Say that to the party. One of the walls in the hallway bursts open and a giant redwood sized constricting snake made of lava with an obsidian tipped tail and white hot fangs bursts through the wall. Hissing. Looking around the room, she's a little late. She speaks one word.

[C]

Ice cream. It's so stupid.

[A]

Volcanic Honda's queen.

[C]

Natty yells back, what flavor?

[B]

The Volcanic Honda looks around and sees Tolve lying on the ground unconscious and ironclad and Gigi right by him. She looks around. Does she see Gunther? I'm gonna make a roll. She would see you. Yeah, she rolled a 17 plus.

[A]

A couple coming next year to our patreon is a tier called Volcanic Honda supporter.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, silly.

[B]

You can help. If you're a Volcanic Honda supporter, you can help vote on what Volcanic Honda's favorite flavor of ice cream is.

[A]

That's the only benefit of the tier.

[C]

Yeah, it is. That's the only benefit. Does Gunther see the snake look at Natty or register natty in any way? Like, because Natty looks like the squid.

[B]

The snake looks around and regards every creature she sees in the room, but does not appear to focus on anyone more than anyone else. If anything, the volcanic condo would focus on Tolve more than anyone else because that is the one being she just talked to. Okay, Blaine, can you remind me, did Tolv ever describe what Ironclad looked like? How did that conversation go?

[C]

I described him as big, so I think they know to look for something bigger than myself. Okay. I know that that puts Doug in the crosshairs. I'm trying to think back.

[B]

Oh, that's helpful. Because in my mind, as the volcanic conda is coming through, she sees Gigi and Ironclad next to you. So she's gonna assume one of them did this to you. Yeah, and one of them is the one she's looking for. But if you use the word big, she's gonna engage Ironclad.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. The volcanic conda hisses and like a cloud of ash comes out and seems to seep everywhere, filling the hallway and the room. All of you need to make me a constitution saving throw.

[A]

Would this be with negative one for the exhausted ones?

[B]

This is combat.

[C]

Okay, how about to? He's kind of out.

[B]

No, you're. You're good, dude.

[A]

Okay, 16 for Doug.

[C]

15. 16 for Natty.

[B]

And I'm going to make one for to. I keep saying to. What's wrong with me. Make one for Ironclad here.

[C]

He's got to on the brain.

[A]

They're the same person.

[B]

All right, everyone fails. You all begin coughing and choking as this cloud of ash fills your lungs. And everyone takes 12 points of poison damage.

[A]

Poison. That doesn't mean we are poisoned though, right?

[B]

It does also mean you are poisoned now as well.

[A]

Disadvantage on attacks and abilities.

[B]

And with that, the volcanic Honda hisses and lashes out with a red hot bite at Ironclad. I said the right name that time.

[C]

Told from the gases. What was that? Lighted up volcanic.

[A]

That didn't sound like cold at all.

[B]

The Volcaniconda latches onto Ironclad, doing both piercing and fire damage. Now those numbers remain a question mark since it doesn't directly affect you yet. Then she brings her tail around, thrashing the area, trying to smack Ironclad with her tail. As she has Ironclad in her mouth. Ironclad must make a saving throw. Ironclad rolled a one on the save. Good job, Ironclad. So the the thrashing tail comes around and bludgeons Ironclad, knocking him to the ground, doing more bludgeoning damage. Yeah, at that point. That is it for now for the volcanic Honda. Doug, what in the world just happened? What did you see?

[A]

That was definitely not what I was expecting after hearing a rumbling on the ground. Are we still in combat?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, well, you know what they say. Kick them while they're down. Could I try to shoot a firebolt at Ironclad?

[B]

Yeah, absolutely. All right, you have advantage on this because Ironclad is probably.

[A]

I don't know if I'll need it because I rolled a 25 just now to hit.

[B]

Oh, wow. Why don't you roll it again to see if it's crit? Okay.

[A]

I could call it. Is not. But that's a 20.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, it hit.

[A]

That does 2d10 of fire damage. And I rolled two 10, so that's a 20.

[C]

When. When Doug shoots a firebolt, does it come out of his finger?

[A]

I like to think it comes at like a little bit of fire, comes out of each finger to like form into a giant firebolt.

[C]

Is that like Singe's hair? Is it like stinky? A little for a second. Just like, you know, just a little. Okay, okay, okay. Sorry. It actually comes out of his belly button.

[A]

There's a little flame icon in his belly button.

[B]

Ironclad yells in pain I get two.

[A]

Attacks per action, so I'm gonna do that again.

[C]

Yeah, you get two now.

[A]

Apparently I didn't notice until the confidence until it says actions attacks per action too.

[B]

So if it's a spell, you only get one attack. Would be like swinging a weapon.

[A]

Well, Firebolt is under my attacks but it's a cantrip.

[B]

So it's a spell slash cantrip. That is an attack. Oh, that's a good question.

[A]

Let's get out the rules lawyer.

[B]

Okay. Normally you can't cast two spells in the same turn unless you're something like a sorcerer. But I'm gonna make an exception in this case just because I think it'll be cool.

[C]

Cool? Yeah.

[A]

Okay, cool. So I will shoot another Firebolt. Seeing the great success. Do I get advantage on that again? Since he is still prone?

[B]

Yes, absolutely.

[A]

Okay. 19.

[B]

That is a hit.

[A]

Okay, doing. Yeah. Seven points of damage this time.

[B]

Man. It is. Things took a very quick turn for the worse for Ironclad. He sure did.

[A]

Well, we saw him, you know, we know what he did to our friend Tolb and we're not in the do it feel burned. And then after that do I have. Am I close enough to run up to get to to.

[B]

Yeah, it's not very far at all. You're able to make it down there?

[A]

Okay, I'm going to go to to and I don't know if I could assist him cuz I think I already used up all my action, so.

[B]

Right. Used your actions and you moved. So that's it. But you are up there with him.

[A]

Okay, turn over.

[B]

All right. Next is Gunther and to than Natty Ironclad. At this moment they're looking the mouth of a lava snake and is very beat up at the moment.

[C]

How far can I could I make it to To?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Then could I try and get to up?

[B]

Yeah. Well, what does that entail? What do you want to do?

[C]

I don't have any healing things, so I guess resuscitate him by taking the endless decanter and using it to pour 5 gallons of water all over me. And to sea drinker, the beginning of your sentence does not connect to what you just said at the end of your sentence. Why are you waterborg me? Well, like you know, waking him up get trying to, you know, splash him with water. I don't know. Does. Would that. Would that get. Bring him out.

[B]

You can make a medicine check to try to stabilize him and see if you're able to aid him.

[C]

Okay, I'll do that.

[B]

You know when you go to the ER and the doctor just pours water all over you.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Just empties a bucket on the guy known for Being trapped in the water. 18. Yeah, I cast trauma. It's super effective.

[B]

18. You're able to stabilize him and Toll's eyes open.

[C]

Yeah, there you go. And then he immediately short circuits.

[B]

And as Toll's eyes open and you know you're giving him this water, the whole room you're in. This whole dungeon itself once again seems to be shaking. And the volcanic conda lets go of Ironclad looks around the room and dives back into the hole from which she came. Whoa.

[C]

Well, that's cool. Can I use my bonus action to a second one?

[B]

Yes. It's a good call. Good move.

[C]

Good show. Great show.

[B]

Exclusive show thinky dragonpod.com hey, that's 13. All right, private parts. Who is still here? Who's still. Who's in charge right now? Is it you, Gunther?

[C]

No, I think passed it back to. I think it's Doug. I gave it to Doug. Yeah, I was. And then when we got here, I gave it to Doug.

[A]

Oh, why?

[C]

Pretty sure it's Doug.

[B]

Doug.

[A]

If I must.

[B]

Private parts taps you on the shoulder. Doug and says, I think this facility is collapsing.

[C]

We should make haste and exit.

[A]

What makes you say that, Private parts? I'm just kidding. That was a little joke here from Lito Toledo, you know. But yeah, I think I ego right? Could Doug try to like scoop up Tol?

[B]

Yeah, absolutely.

[C]

Are you. Are you up now? I was gonna wait my turn to find out. Yeah, he'll.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I said to eyes opened and yeah, he starts coming around.

[A]

I should know if he was like physically up.

[B]

No, he's not standing. He's still laying down.

[C]

But yeah, he's so strong in big, masculine, hairy arms.

[A]

Okay. It's okay, buddy.

[C]

So did you meet my friend the volcanic condud?

[A]

It's okay. Time to rest.

[C]

Lava Snake love.

[A]

You're just staying on things right now. It's okay.

[C]

Big fire. Fire serpent. Big flames. Big teeth.

[A]

That's right, big teeth.

[B]

Yup, yup.

[A]

And then could Doug just yell out to the team, guys, we. We gotta get out of here. I think this is gonna collapse and we might get stuck in here.

[B]

All right, you all are out of combat if you want to beat feet and start getting out of here.

[C]

With Gunther sustaining toll does. Do I have health again?

[B]

Like, can I. Yeah, you're like, you're like at one. Yeah.

[C]

One. Okay, you're stable. Stable. That's. That's stabilized. Not sustained. What am I saying?

[A]

Doug runs towards the. Where they came in through the mirror.

[B]

Yeah, you go through and you find yourself on the other side and begin retracing your steps back out upstairs, out of the temple, back to the ocean floor.

[C]

12 is keeping an eye out for Ironclad. Is he. Is he following? Or did. Did he get.

[B]

Make a perception check. Okay.

[C]

9.

[B]

You initially hear footsteps following you, but then as you all proceed, they become fainter and fainter until as you exit the temple back upstairs, you no longer hear them at all.

[C]

An off camera death.

[B]

You find yourself back on the ocean floor surrounded by the shipwrecks and the earth is still shaking violently. The ships that were partially submerged in the bed of the sea begin collapsing and shaking and some of them begin partially submerging themselves into the sand, much like a lizard. Then the vortex of water that's swirling violently around you begins to lose momentum and then begins collapsing and an ocean of water falls upon the entire party.

[C]

What an episode.

[A]

The sea drinker will drink up all this sea that is falling upon us and save us.

[C]

Yeah, she's right. Sorry guys, I'm just too full. That frog gave me all the water I need.

[B]

Find out if that happens or not in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

[C]

Oh, not even the sea drinker. That's what I'm gonna say. It's just a squid. Chris. Chris just kept calling it that. Gus never acknowledged that.

[A]

Turns out they're still down there and everything just collapsed.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh no.

[B]

Hello listener. Would you like to clothe yourself in something stinky? I'm not talking about the stuff that you've got in your laundry hamper that you're ignoring. I'm talking about our merch [e-mail] sticky dragonpod.com we've got all kinds of goodies you can check out and help actively directly support the show. Head over to store.stickydragonpod.com check out all of our stinky merchandise. It's not just clothing. There's a whole bunch of stuff. And help us continue to make this show. Did you know we went to Gen Con 2025 and we did a live show there? And if you'd like to listen to that live show, we're making it available for free for all patrons on stinky dragonpod.com so even if you sign up just at the free level over@stinky dragonpod.com you'll be able to listen to this new content. New episodes of Tales from the Sticky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever you stream Podcasts and on The Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want us to show 48 hours early and ad free. You can support us on either our Patreon at stinkydragonpod.com or over on Beacon at Beacon TV. Both give you early ad free access and a member only Discord for each of their platforms. Looking for even more stinky content and community perks, our Patreon offers exclusive bonus shows, behind the scenes content, access to the Stinky Dragon, Discord members only, live streams, stinky community events and a shout out on the show. Just like Timmy, the BFG, Delete the World, E. Wookie 0427, Puce Integral and Ragnarok Night. These patrons directly support the show, get ad free episodes, access to our Patreon only Discord server, bonus content like Second Wind and Behind the Screen and other stinky perks. For example, here's a quick peek from the latest gen con 2025 live show which is available for free for everyone exclusively@stinky dragonpod.com the infantry asks, do you.

[C]

Have any contraband with you?

[A]

What do you count as contraband?

[B]

Quickly is standing behind Elga holding five axes.

[C]

Those are surprisingly allowed in, but oh my God. Any books? Dancing equipment? Liquids?

[A]

Well, I can tell you from this group we definitely don't have books.

[C]

I left my dancing equipment at home.

[A]

Wait, can we pause? What's dancing equipment?

[C]

I think everybody knows what dancing equipment is.

[B]

Tear away clothing things.

[C]

Barney would have spandex. Yeah. Yes. If you have anything, please leave them. Otherwise we will detect it with our archway of humming. Now I have a heart condition and a liver condition and a lung condition and a stomach condition and a foot condition.

[A]

Which foot?

[B]

Both.

[C]

I have several metal parts. That's nice. Is that gonna be a problem going through this? First time for everything.

[B]

Once again, that's stinkydragonpod.com we're incredibly grateful for your support which makes this show possible. Some NPCs in this episode were voiced by our incredibly talented friends. Just like Jarl Ironclad voiced by Adam Ellis. Adam E. Ellis, Private Private Parts voiced by Ben ernst@halcyonben volcaniconda, voiced by Lucy James at lucyjamesgames everywhere and best known for the Friends Per Second podcast and GameSpot. This week's error question was submitted by Joseph Dufour and Black Snide or Black five Night. There's a number in there I never know how to say. Words that have numbers in the middle. This episode of Tales with Distinct Drunk is produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited and composed by Micah Risinger, with additional editing work by Katherine Arnold and David Saunier. Tune in next time for the thrilling episode of Tales of the Stinky dragon.

[A]

Hey guys, Doug here on the ones and twos equals threes. Looks like Blaine forgot to mute his microphone. There's his door. There's his water bottle clinking on his chair like an unprofessional guy that he is. Well, we're probably through this episode. You know, you might be hearing it at the end of the episode. So we don't know what happens yet, but there's a lot going on here. Natty possibly turning into a little squid. Who knows if it's a sea dwinker, we'll find out. Although I do feel like, who knows, maybe it's a red herring. That's another type of fish. Just a little pun for you guys. You know what, Doug on the ones and twos, he's thinking about maybe starting a radio show sometime soon. Maybe take some questions from a Patreon members, which are you guys. So stay tuned for that. Let me know in the comments of this episode if that's something you're interested in. And cuz, you know, Doug's got a lot of advice to give and I think he. I think he'd be impressed with maybe some of the intos he's got. It looks like Chris is doing some stretches. Oh, he's doing some jumping jacks. If only this was recorded on video. But no, he's doing jump jacks. His screen is also blurry, so kind of weird to see it's. He's coming in and out of focus. Oh, now he's doing some big jumps. Big stretch for the little guy. And we'll be back. Oh, Micah. Oh, you've been listening this whole time?

[B]

No.

[A]

How do you think this episode is going?

[C]

Fantastic. I think it's well written.

[A]

Yes, very, very. Yes.

[C]

The verbiage is quite clear and succinct. It really paints a picture, you know?

[A]

Definitely. And I bet the music and the instrumentals will be top notch.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Final product.

[C]

I'm looking forward to looking up the copyrights of the Nokia ringtone and also Baby Got Back.

[A]

You know, it's been referenced a lot.

[C]

Baby Got Back. Yeah, I have a good feeling about that one.

[A]

Maybe we'll play some Baby Got Back here on Doug's on the Ones and Two ghost screens sometime in the future. Pew pew, pew, pew, pew pew pew.

[C]

It's the most family friendly song we've ever produced. Oh, wow, you brought up Second Wind. I'll take this as opportunity to acknowledge everybody in our discord who responded to me being very sad that I lost my squirtle with sunglasses in Pokemon Go. And a lot of people responded that they have squirtles with sunglasses that they would give me if they could see me. John, I want to tell you after that I've been, I've been. You don't have one. I looked. I don't have one either. I either traded it or I, I did get it and I thought I did. I'm sorry, John. I feel, I feel the first time, the first time that I go to a live event was with our community. I'm hoping somebody will come up and trade with me. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, it's because you haven't been listening to second win. You've been missing out on some extra bonus stuff.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

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