C03 - Ep. 30 - From On Hyra - Revelation of Renéesús

Summary

Tales from the Stinky Dragon

Episode: C03 - Ep. 30 - From On Hyra - Revelation of Renéesús

Release Date: November 12, 2025
Podcast Theme: An award-winning, all-ages actual-play D&D comedy podcast featuring a group of friends and their adventures through imaginative lands, packed with humor, immersive sound design, and heartfelt moments.

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Episode Overview

This episode weaves D&D hijinks with a focus on character development, a mysterious ninja-esque lesson for Gunther, laugh-out-loud group banter, and several compelling new plot threads. Standout moments include a chaotic ninja toad ambush, a lesson on disarming, bizarre room décor details, a heartfelt song about Natty's wife, a visit from the Veiled Eye, and a looming honey-drenched mystery buzzing beneath the fort. It’s a blend of comedy, warm team bonding, and surprising character revelations.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. How the Heroes Unwind

(03:40–13:12)

• Prompt: Each character details their evening routine to relax after a long day.
  • Tolv (Thaumatech Barbarian, Blaine): Removes adoptive father's skin, tends it with lotion, oil bath, robot maintenance.
    • “By that, I mean take off my skin that belonged to my adopted father…” (04:29)
  • Gunther (Chris Damaris): Burrows underground, naps, reads important village texts (including People Magazine), loves fiction puns: “Fellowship of the Spring,” “For Whom the Croc Tools…”
  • Doug Boone (Bugbear Artificer, Barbara): Bubble bath, 2.5 hours combing fur, extensive journaling, reading.
  • Natty Wonder (Drow Warlock Drag Queen, John): Three hours to remove makeup, takes care of Giggy (familiar), writes song lyrics daily about party members’ quirks.
    • “I like to give Gigi his nighttime energy drink so he sleeps well…” (10:54)
  • Group Dynamic: Light ribbing about self-centeredness and breaking character, notably Blaine’s recurring bits.

2. Ninja Toad Ambush: The "Lesson" for Gunther

(13:12–26:34)

• Action Sequence: Officers are knocked out by poisoned darts. Shadowy, conjoined ninja toads (“Thoads”) attack Gunther, referencing a lesson plan.
  • “It has multiple limbs and two sets of eyes, but it’s difficult to make out its shape…” (13:29)
  • The group makes repeated attempts to land hits, but the Thoads deftly dodge while moving in perfect sync, and ridicule the party's attacks.
  • Gunther’s lesson: Disarmed and pummeled, he’s forced to reflect on what he’s meant to learn.
• Humor: Teenage Mutant Ninja Toads reference.
  • “Teenage Mutant Ninja Toads! Toads in a half shell…” (14:10)
• Combat Beat: Gunther, after a series of fumbles, uses Second Wind, learns about finesse fighting, and the importance of holding on to your weapon.
• Physical Comedy: Shag carpet jokes, disco balls, and Doug’s steel defender “Gambot” makes a return:
  • “You get blood in there, it’s never coming out” (22:30)
  • “Gambot’s gonna emerge as well...he kind of bounces his little head to make him look tough.” (26:20)

3. The Revelation of Renéesús & The Lesson of Disarming

(42:45–46:50)

• Lesson Climax:
  • Thoads reveal their names—Renaissance (Renéesús)—and after the beating, ask Gunther what he’s learned. Group guesses (“Don’t bring a sword to a nunchuck fight,” “Get a grip”).
  • The true lesson: "If your opponent cannot hold on to their weapon, they cannot use their weapon."
  • Renaissance: “Don’t forget, an opponent is truly disarmed when no one will fight alongside them, and they fight alone.” (44:04)
• Revelation: The Thoads were once literally conjoined, now fight bound together as a symbol of unity:
  • “We used to be physically conjoined, but after a bloody combat two years ago, we were separated. We still strap ourselves together when we fight in order to have the ultimate combat prowess.” (44:42)
• Mission Hook: They hint Gunther may need to reunite with lost friends (Bunlap) to find true power.
  • “Perhaps it is time to reunite with them and increase your powers together.” (45:35)
• Reward: Gunther earns a new ability: Disarming Attack.

4. Buzzing Trouble: The Nectar Knight & Bee Mystery

(46:56–61:23)

• Clue: Angry bees are heard from beneath the fort. Using the Octopot of Obscura, ink flows into the ground, suggesting something hidden underneath.

• Fort Exposition: Privates report a “Nectar Knight” demigod has been seen in the area, recently freed from subterranean imprisonment. His presence causes beehives and honey to proliferate, but is mostly an “inconvenience.”

  • “The Nectar Knight is a demigod, of course…a well-armored knight, face of a fox, and his armor is constantly dripping with honey.” (55:14)
  • Plans are in place to open a “Temple of the Blood Bather”—a god of battle.

• Group Mission: The party can take various routes to the front, with personal quests to visit Sky Blue Falls prison (to rescue Bunlap), Meadow Canyon, or Boiling Bluffs (recent relic theft).

5. Downtime and Personal Projects

(63:13–77:13)

• Rest: Party elects to rest, work on personal projects, and bond.
• Major Scenes:
  • Doug's Invention: Doug sketches and builds the prototype for his Echo Pulse Locator, an animal-friendly device using echolocation to rescue wildlife without fear.
    • Progress is tracked with an in-universe dice pool mechanic (explained mid-episode).
  • Gunther’s Sword Upgrade: With help from Doug, Gunther integrates a scapegoat tooth into his sword pommel; a magical upgrade that allows risky attack rerolls.
    • Doug: “Maybe you make like a cool chain that connects from your sword to your hand...”
  • Natty’s Song: Natty—helped by Tolv—writes a love song for her wife, seeking rhyming ideas for words like “bride,” “death,” “gal,” and “black.”
    • [93:50] Complete performance: “Dancing with Death,” a heartfelt, original song.
  • Tolv’s Visit with Steel Eye: Tolv sits with the still-unconscious officer Steel Eye, confesses to being a Thaumatech (robotic), and shares a rare, vulnerable moment.

6. Doug’s Vision: The Veiled Eye

(95:12–98:56)

• Supernatural Encounter:
  • While working on his invention, Doug is transported to a surreal, star-filled room and meets the enigmatic Veiled Eye.
    • “Hello, you. How are you doing? What’s this you’re working on?” (95:47)
  • The Veiled Eye expresses admiration, tasks Doug with bringing his invention to Meadow Canyon, and urges invention as self-growth.
    • “It’s not your time, Doug. You have to bring me your invention, in person.” (96:45)
• Mystery: Doug’s conversation ends abruptly, teasing further revelations next episode.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Tolv (on his wind-down routine):
  “Take off my skin that belonged to my adopted father, nourish it with lotions, then take an oil bath like C-3PO.” (04:29)
• Gunther’s literary humor:
  “There’s the Fellowship of the Spring…For Whom the Croc Tools…And of course, the Art of War-ter Lilies.” (07:26)
• Natty on songwriting:
  “I like to journal, but like, try to write lyrics for little songs about what happened during the day…it’s going to be a rock opera at the end of our journey together.” (11:44)
• DM Renaissance’s lesson:
  “If your opponent cannot hold on to their weapon, they cannot use their weapon…an opponent is truly disarmed when no one will fight alongside them, and they fight alone.” (43:44, 44:04)
• Doug (in the vision):
  “No, I don’t say this lightly, but I think I could die happy right now.” (96:40)
• Natty’s song for her wife:
  “Dancing with death, she’s my sugar sweet bride, she fills me with love, I feel like I’ve died…” (93:50)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|---------| | 03:40 | Character relaxation routines | | 13:12 | Ninja toad ambush — start of Gunther’s lesson | | 26:34 | Room description, party regroups, investigation | | 42:45 | Renaissance/Thoads reveal, lesson revealed | | 46:56 | Angry bees mystery, Nectar Knight introduction | | 55:14 | Nectar Knight and Fort Endridge lore drop | | 63:13 | Party Long Rest; personal projects & bonding | | 74:58 | Doug and Giggy bond over invention sketches | | 77:13 | Gunther upgrades sword—magical scapegoat tooth | | 82:23 | Natty and Tolv's songwriting session | | 93:50 | Natty performs “Dancing with Death” | | 95:12 | Doug’s Veiled Eye vision (supernatural encounter) | | 98:56 | End tease for next episode |

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Tone and Style

• Language: Lighthearted, comedic, sprinkled with groan-worthy puns, offbeat references, and nerdy D&D in-jokes.
• Mood: Whimsical, goofy, but with moments of sincerity and vulnerability.
• Banter & Character Play: Generous ribbing, meta-humor, clear affection among cast. Dice-driven tension is always undercut with wit.

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Summary for New Listeners

This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon seamlessly blends absurdist humor with genuine character growth, a lively combat encounter styled as a ninja lesson, evocative worldbuilding, and long-running player-driven projects (inventions, songs, and more). Gunther’s embarrassing, heartfelt lesson about unity and disarming sits at the narrative core, brilliantly reinforced by the episode’s theme: strength in togetherness and not fighting alone—whether fending off ninja toads or facing your own regrets.

Elsewhere, the set-up for bigger adventures simmers below (bees and the mysterious Nectar Knight), while intimate moments—Natty’s song, Doug’s vision, Tolv’s confession—keep the party’s heart beating strong.

If you love laughter, creative group storytelling, and endearing D&D chaos, this episode captures the show at its best.

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Next Up: The party is tasked with personal reflection, the shadow of the Nectar Knight looms, and Doug’s new connection to the supernatural Veiled Eye promises mysterious developments ahead!

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[C]

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[B]

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[D]

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[D]

What's up all you umbral vampires? Hover into the stinky dragon and lap up our latest libation. Take a leap of wraith. It's a mixture of sunlight scented tea bags, boiling incorporeal water, a giant hand of lemonade and topped with unripe grassberries. One nip of this necrotic nectar and your pores will pour darkness like never before. Previously, our adventurers arrived on the scene of Ruins of Raisin. But after some constructive conversation with Cobb and other compadres, they ended up exiting to their endpoint of Fort Endridge. The party was promoted and put in charge of privates, but their proceedings were put on hold when a prowling perpetrator proclaimed their lesson plan for Gunther. Grab a guzzler and let's get back to this gassy.

[C]

Ooh, that's a heck of a tongue twister there.

[D]

Do you think there's an alternate world where Micah would have been a rapper?

[C]

He is currently.

[A]

What are you talking about? Also, I'm a Gassy Goss. What's up, y'?

[C]

All? Welcome to the Gassy Goss. I'm your stink master, Gustavo Sorola. I'm gonna hit our four gas bags with an ARR.

[D]

Oh, zero.

[C]

Listen, this, this episode's really trending high with the 10 year old, so we don't know why. How does your character relax or wind down for the day? That was said. Oh. Sent by multiple people. RPG, freaky pisca business. And hub. Everyone go roll a D20 and let's, let's get to it.

[E]

6, 1, 16, 7.

[C]

All right, so it's going to be to Gunther. Doug. Natty.

[D]

Well, hello. I'm Blaine Gibson and I play to you.

[C]

Who?

[D]

It's me to. I am a Thaumatech Barbarian and a Level 6. And, oh, sometimes when I like to wind down, I, you know, let my hair loose. By that, I mean take off my skin that belonged to my adopted father and I hang it out, you know, and I, I, I nourish it with lotions and all these things to, you know, help it to last longer. And then I like to take an oil bath to like C3PO, you know, to, to make my joints feel nice and loose.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And sometimes I. Doug. To do maintenance on my body because.

[C]

I am a robot.

[F]

Yeah.

[G]

I've seen so many things and he loves it.

[D]

It's such a bonding experience for me and dog.

[G]

I feel closer to you to.

[F]

Yeah.

[G]

Against my will.

[E]

So Doug knows where the off button is.

[G]

I'll never tell.

[D]

It's the second time that you have mentioned the off button. It's very concerning.

[A]

I also, I liked the idea of you washing your skin and accidentally putting it in the dryer and it shrinks and you can't get.

[D]

I bleached it.

[H]

No.

[D]

Who put the red T shirts in with my skin? Which one of you did this?

[C]

Is that how tolve gets a sunburn? It's like pink all over.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, man, I love that. Thanks to appreciate that we learned a little bit about you. Who did I say was next? After there? Next we got Gunther.

[F]

Oh, wow. Hi, I'm Chris Damaris.

[A]

My mind.

[D]

Are you gonna surprise him like that?

[E]

Gus, why are you surprising him?

[F]

You gotta warn Chris the croak folk fighter. And I'm of course level six.

[C]

Of course level six.

[F]

What I do to relax is of course I like to burrow. You all know that. I find a nice cool spot and I burrow in. And then I relax and take a little burrow nap. And then. And then I like to. I like to read where I will. I. I have some. Some text that is important for. For me in my village that I read People magazine.

[C]

Barbara took an inspiration die.

[F]

What was that she said?

[C]

People magazine.

[F]

A book is important for my people. Which is about the wilder flower and. And what. What we must do. And then if I'm not doing that, then I just read books for fun.

[G]

Why didn't I notice about you?

[F]

Because I'm always burrowed in a hole you can't see. But I read. I have a few favorite books.

[D]

Like what? What kind of books? Is it any of my not books?

[G]

Yeah, I was going to ask if it was a not book.

[F]

No, no, no, no, no, it is not.

[D]

That's enough. No's okay. You don't have to rub it in.

[F]

There's the Fellowship of the Spring.

[C]

That's a good one. I heard of that one.

[F]

For whom the croc tools. Oh, and then of course the Art of War Ter lilies.

[D]

Oh, you got me there.

[C]

Those are good. Those are pretty smart.

[F]

No, you've read them.

[C]

No, I've heard of. I've heard of them. I haven't read all of them.

[G]

Cool.

[C]

All right. We learned a little bit about Gunther and his burrowing activities. Very, very much. Sounds like an introvert kind of person. Thanks, Gunther.

[A]

I like how you saying burrow sounds like a ribbit.

[C]

All right, that's it for Gunther. I hope I don't surprise the next person. Doug.

[G]

I knew it was me. I was third. And we had two people go already. So that would mathematically place me next.

[F]

Wow.

[C]

She did the math. Or he did the math.

[A]

Astounding. Hello, everyone. I'm Barbara Dunkleman and I play Doug Boone, the bugbear, artificer. And of course level six as well.

[G]

And Doug actually has like a whole nightly routine that he does to wind down. First he Takes a nice long bubble bath and really gets it on his fur. Scrubs it nice and well. Make sure the dirt's out of there, it's all fresh. And then he takes about two and a half hours to comb out all the fur. It's really tough after it's wet, and he's got to make sure it dries nice. So that takes a while. But it's very relaxing and meditative, so he enjoys it. And then Doug likes to journal about his whole day, analyzing every single moment from top to bottom. That takes another two and a half hours. Unfortunately, he's really into it. And then Doug also likes to read. He winds down with a novel or two, perhaps each night. That only takes about 25 minutes.

[E]

How long does it take you to rehearse social interactions for the next day?

[G]

I do that in the morning.

[C]

It sounds like your day is pretty much. You start winding down as soon as you get out of bed. The process takes so long.

[G]

When I wake up in the morning, I review my notes, my journaling from the previous night, and then I set myself up for success the next day.

[D]

I have a very similar routine with than Doug. Sitting there analyzing, thinking about all the social interactions. Did I say something wrong?

[C]

Do you have any books that you've read recently that you enjoy, Doug?

[G]

Yes, I actually read all of Tolv's.

[A]

Notch books that he highly recommended.

[D]

Riveting stuff.

[C]

I know.

[F]

Riveting.

[C]

Very good. I thought I spotted a quart of nuts and bolts in your bag the other day.

[G]

Gustavo, you're not supposed to see that. That's just for me. Listen, Doug's got unwind somewhere. Or not.

[C]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No judgment. Just who's curious if it was any good. All right, thanks a bunch. I appreciate that, Doug. And finally, last up, no surprise, we've got Natty.

[E]

No surprise at all.

[C]

No surprise.

[E]

Hey, everybody, it's John Rice here. And I play Natty Wonder, who is a drow warlocked drag queen mother. And I guess that would all. That also sounds like I should have, like, drag queen daughters.

[A]

No, you should.

[E]

Anybody want to be my drag queen daughter?

[G]

I'll give it a shot.

[E]

Me, maybe every night. I do have. I do have quite a bit that I like to do in order to wind down. First, of course, is I like to take off all my makeup. That takes roughly three to four hours.

[G]

Oh, yes.

[E]

And then after, you know, before I do that, actually, I like to give Gigi his nighttime energy drink so he sleeps well. And. And then I do all makeup. And you Know, I put my. My wig in its pressure atmosphere controlled case that I keep in order to preserve it perfectly for every single day. And then what I actually like to do is I like to. I like to journal a little bit, but I like to. I like to like, try to write lyrics for little songs about what happened during the day is like a little practice for. For writing songs. And so, you know, I'll write songs about, you know, writing in my journal. Oh, Gunther being mysterious and weird again. I guess I should add another chorus to that song.

[F]

And I want to hear writing a.

[E]

Song about Doug and. And his luscious locks and. And his beautiful hair.

[G]

I can't wait for you to perform this at the end.

[E]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[G]

All of this.

[E]

Yeah, it's going to be a rock opera at the end of our journey together. But yeah, I like to write. I like to write little songs, little ditties.

[D]

No toll songs, huh? No, no toll.

[A]

I was watching Blaine the whole time you were saying that about me and Gunther and Blaine just waiting patiently.

[E]

I've noticed you try to make everybody's answer today about you.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, that's.

[C]

That's. That's Blaine.

[D]

That's Blaine.

[E]

Gus, I'd like to add a request, an inspiration dice for getting Blaine to break character and go into Blaine.

[A]

Blaine just wants to be loved.

[D]

We did a thank you video to somebody forever ago. It was so like, I can't even remember the context. And Gus said, way to make it about you because I said something about I appreciate how you do this with me. And Gus is like, oh, yeah, so about you, huh? It has stuck with me ever since.

[C]

I don't even remember that.

[D]

That's so funny. I think about it all the time, guys.

[A]

Are we actually real performers if we aren't self centered? No, I mean, that's true.

[C]

That's true. Anyway, let me talk. No, my favorite part about that was you got Blaine Debris character and he like looked down and looked away like no one will ever see that. It was the crushing weight on him as he made the realization his shame.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

Very good, Blaine.

[A]

You are loved. Door.

[F]

Oh, thank you.

[C]

All right, thanks everyone. Learned a lot about your routines. And as you all are here talking, looking over your letters, Gunther, you see something of a shadow flip past your peripheral vision. Make a perception check at disadvantage 3020. Nice. Oh, nice.

[A]

Very good perception.

[C]

You catch a quick glance of a creature prowling along the ceiling. It has multiple limbs and two sets of eyes, but it's difficult to make out its shape. Almost like it's camouflaged. And whoosh. It vanishes into the shadows. Once you're done training your privates, I'll get them out. You see Steel Eye pull a dart from his neck.

[D]

Oh, God.

[C]

What the. Crash. One after another, all the officers in the room collapse to the floor, unconscious. From behind you, a voice whispers.

[I]

Time for your last Gunther.

[F]

Here.

[C]

The glint of nunchucks strike across your body with a whammy.

[E]

Oh, my gosh. Are we about to fight Ninja toads?

[F]

How old are they?

[C]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Toads. Teenage Mutant Ninja Toads.

[A]

Toads and a half shell.

[E]

You gotta sing it the melody backwards, so it's a knockout. The melody, not the lyrics.

[A]

And if people listen to this backwards.

[G]

It will be right.

[E]

Oh, no.

[D]

It's Rembrandt, Picass, Monet and Dolly.

[G]

Gunther.

[C]

Go ahead and make me a strength saving throw.

[A]

Is gunther gonna die?

[F]

12. I'm not the strongest.

[C]

I'll give you the option to make a dexterity saving throw instead if you want.

[F]

Oh, yeah, I'll take that.

[D]

You're not the strongest, but you're the bravest.

[F]

I rolled a 10, so instead of a 12, that'd be a 15.

[C]

Okay, I forgot that you're a finesse fighter. I know you're a fighter, so I was thinking. And straight. But, yeah, for you, it's dexterity.

[A]

When I think of Chris, I think of one word. It's finesse.

[F]

No, no, it's pronounced a mess.

[A]

Oh, fine. S a mess.

[C]

So you were standing there and the nunchuck come out of nowhere and hit you, doing 19 points of bludgeoning damage.

[F]

Ouchie.

[A]

Nunchucks, huh?

[C]

Yeah. Before you, you see what appear to be two toads conjoined at the hip. And they're wearing masks with slits for eyes and a full black bodysuit that appears to, like, cause light to disappear. And it makes them blend into their environment stealthily.

[F]

They're attached.

[C]

Yeah, it appears like they're attached at the hip and they're moving completely in sync.

[G]

Cool.

[F]

Do I. Have I seen anything like this before? And have I seen toads before? Like, is Gunther familiar with thoads?

[C]

Make a history check for the first part of that question and I'll answer the second one.

[F]

Okay. My history check was six.

[C]

Okay. As far as toads, your aunt was a toad.

[D]

Okay, I've already forgotten her.

[C]

Huh? Yeah. You. You. You have seen them before?

[F]

I thought she was a crowpo, remember? Bigger, thicker, like a thick toad.

[C]

And you've never seen anything like this before? They're obviously very strong martial Arts fighters, which, you know, that's a. You're very familiar with, but you've never seen anything, any creature move like this. So. In sync.

[I]

It is time for your lesson, Gunther.

[F]

I've been waiting for my lesson and.

[C]

God, everyone, let's go and roll Initiative. Just to get everyone involved here.

[D]

Gunther, is this like your brother? Is this how you. You know, after we met your aunt and she assaulted you. I. I'm assuming this is tradition of some sort of.

[F]

No, I do not know them at all, but apparently they are teachers.

[D]

Oh, no, they're underpaid.

[F]

They bought their own school supplies.

[D]

That's depressing.

[F]

14, 18, 19, 22.

[A]

So I think it goes to Gunther.

[G]

Doug.

[A]

Natty Doug.

[D]

Ran those numbers twice.

[G]

Yeah, I implemented my calculator.

[C]

And then I'll roll for the mysterious figure figures as well. 7. Right thick toll. You see this scene unfolding in front of you? Before you do anything, why don't you help me describe this room a little bit? Right now, you know, you're in the Fort Andrich headquarters. It's a circular stone room with a large round table. We talked about how it had a map showing the front lines and whatnot. And before this started, there was a lot of chatter going on, but now all the officers and aides seem to be unconscious on the floor. What else does Tove notice about this room?

[D]

Oh, it's got, you know, pink shag carpet, lava lamps. Every five feet or so there's a couple of disco balls.

[A]

This is steel eyes bedroom, isn't it?

[F]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

You know, it's the officer's quarters.

[E]

There's a coin slot to make the. The table in the middle rotate on a circle.

[C]

I think Tolv has his Studio 54 filters enabled. I think we need to disable those before. Before proceeding.

[A]

Do you have filters in your eyeballs since you're like a robot guy?

[D]

Oh, Micah, can we do that?

[F]

I want like.

[E]

Yeah, yeah.

[G]

Oh, maybe I'll work on that for you.

[D]

Oh, new eyeballs score.

[C]

All right, what do you want to do to.

[D]

After I am done admiring the shag carpet, I want to. I'm gonna see if I can make a move towards the Thoads and hit them with my gavel of galestrom. Ooh, yeah. Two handed.

[E]

That's a ten.

[C]

Believe it or not. It's a miss.

[D]

Bummer. Okay, I have two attacks, so I'll take another swipe.

[E]

16.

[C]

They deftly step aside dodging your gavel like. You know that matrix move where like, they lean backwards in bullet time. It's like that, except they're both doing it at the exact same time. Your gavel swings missing over them.

[D]

Ooh, they're good. Okay, well, let me see. I guess I could do a bonus action, but I don't really have anything in mind. I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna call it there. I'm just gonna admit defeat on that one. I'm just gonna. I'm gonna swing around, swing one, swing twice, and then I'm gonna just admire one of the lava lamps, so. Oh, this is nice. Oh, taking the L. Yep. Yep.

[C]

After dodging your attack, your adversary just scoffs at you.

[I]

Pathetic.

[D]

Okay, well, that was insult injury.

[C]

Okay.

[E]

Actually, you didn't injure them at all, so I was just.

[F]

Insult.

[D]

Thank you, Nadine.

[C]

Gunther Europe.

[F]

Okay, could I attempt to jump and flip over and get to behind them?

[C]

Yeah. Do you have like a. Is that like a move of yours.

[F]

Or just adding flare to it?

[C]

Oh, okay.

[F]

Ooh, just like flip, jump, flip, and then attack from behind. And while I'm in the air, I want to go and then use a. Use my second wind. Use my second wind and regain 1d10 plus 6.

[C]

Okay, just. Cuz you're flipping. Make me an acrobatics check.

[D]

While you're saying that, I was like, I know what Gus is going to do here.

[C]

Yeah, that's why I'm asking. Like, is there an ability? Like, what. What's going on here? How are we doing this?

[F]

Let's try this. Acrobatics. Oh, man.

[D]

Oh, no.

[F]

All right, so I rolled a 2, but I have a plus 8, so that's a 10. Okay.

[D]

You see, Chris, Gus doesn't reward tomfoolery. Whenever you think you're doing something that's like, finesse or, you know, adding a little flare, he likes to punish that behavior.

[C]

So listen, we have rules here that we have to follow.

[D]

I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I'm just saying, you know my years of Kyborg, I know this experience well. Don't be surprised if you end up on the ground getting pummeled.

[C]

Yeah, you make your jump, and maybe you're focusing a little too much on your second wind and recovering. But you almost fail the land. You barely managed to catch your feet under you and. And find yourself standing on the other side. And how much HP did you get back?

[F]

Thirteen.

[C]

It's pretty good. That's almost all back.

[F]

Yeah. And then I go. The only thing I want you to teach me is where is the six toad villain or 11 toad, depending upon how many feet, toes you're counting in total. And then I want to attack. Oh, man. I rolled a one plus eight. That's nine.

[D]

That's a critical fail. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

I hate this.

[C]

It's funny. It's like you get called on by the teacher to say something, and you just, like, totally freeze. You can't. You can't get anything out your mouth stops working temporarily. And then you call your teacher mom and everyone laughs at you.

[D]

Been there.

[F]

All right.

[C]

Yeah, you. You try to strike with your rapier, and you. You know, you try to stab with it, but it kind of, you know, again, maybe you were stumbling a little bit. Maybe your. Your palms are a little sweaty, and the rapier just kind of, like, droops out of your hand. And as you try to stab forward with it, it points down, and you just hit the ground in front of your own feet.

[F]

Like in stab.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Am I disarmed?

[C]

No, no, you still have it in your hand.

[F]

Okay.

[C]

But yeah, it's. I'm just trying to describe an embarrassing scenario for you.

[F]

Okay, well, then. Oh, shucks. Second attack. And then try and use my second attack to get him.

[C]

All right.

[D]

Careful of the shag carpet Gunther.

[G]

Yeah, if you get blood in that, it's never coming out.

[F]

21.

[A]

Nice.

[C]

Oh, that actually does hit.

[F]

Yes, yes, yes, yes. I rolled a one, But I'm gonna reuse my whatchamacall skill. To reroll that.

[C]

I need to know what it's. What the skill is.

[D]

It's the whatchamacallit skill, guys.

[C]

The whatchamacall skill. I don't see that in the rulebook. It's not here in the index piercer.

[F]

Once per turn, when you hit a creature attack that is piercing, you can re roll one of the attack's damage dice.

[C]

Okay? And you must use the new roll roll.

[F]

Yeah, but I rolled a one, so.

[C]

Yeah, it can't be any worse.

[F]

Yeah, so that's a 12.

[I]

Nice.

[F]

And then I want to use. Oh, wait, I already used my bonus action. Dang it. Never mind. I don't want to do that. All right, well, I. I'm done. I'll take the 12 damage.

[C]

You'll take it?

[F]

I do have much to learn. You're right. I reasoned by previous comment.

[C]

All right, you lash out with your rapier after the embarrassing failed attack and move to strike the foe in front of you with it. But they very quickly pull out a sigh from their garments and catch your rapier.

[F]

Are they tired?

[C]

And they redirect it Back to you. And the rapier pokes yourself in the shoulder, and you take three points of damage from your own weapon. Oh, no.

[F]

I should have not rerolled and just.

[C]

It would have hurt less.

[I]

It would be a shame to kill you.

[F]

I agree.

[C]

All right, that is it for Gunther. Doug, you're up in the after Dougie Snatty. Doug, before you attack, why don't you tell me about something in the room, you know, this room you're in. Why don't you give me an element? Why don't you describe something that Doug would notice going on in this room?

[G]

It seems like there's, like, wallpaper on the walls, but it's kind of peeling off a little bit.

[C]

Need some repair?

[G]

It seems like there's maybe, like, messages written under it or something like that.

[C]

Ooh, mysterious. All right.

[A]

Can I ask what. What these guys look like? Like, what color are they?

[C]

You can't tell because they're totally covered in this. This black suit. All you can see is, like, the slits around their eyes.

[A]

Okay, gotcha.

[G]

I'm gonna keep it simple.

[A]

I would like to cast guidance. Am I close enough to Gunther where I could touch him?

[C]

You can be.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Like, if not, you could move yourself to be close enough.

[A]

Yeah, I want to move up to just, like, tap Gunther on the shoulder.

[G]

And be like, listen, man, I see you're really struggling here, and it seems like these guys have it out for you. So I just wanted to help you out.

[B]

Thank you.

[F]

At first, Gunther, when you touch him on his shoulder, it goes, oh.

[G]

Sorry. I know my hand's really big.

[D]

Now, Barbara, did Doug do any flips on the way there to kind of match Gunther's finesse?

[G]

Yes, he did a stomach.

[C]

The fur gets tangled in the shag carpet, and Doug is just laying on his back, entangled in shag.

[E]

No, it's all static electricity from the roll. So when he comes out of the roll, it's everything out.

[D]

When he touches him, it goes.

[A]

Also, the guidance is only for ability slash skill checks.

[F]

Okay.

[A]

So just in case that comes up.

[F]

Thank you.

[A]

That will be my turn. But my steel defender is there. Oh, so Gambot's gonna emerge as well.

[C]

What does that sound like?

[A]

We haven't used him in a while.

[F]

Sounds like a monkey.

[E]

Robot monkey.

[A]

He's been listening to Gigi, and he's trying to emulate him.

[C]

Him. Don't do that.

[A]

So he comes out, and he is going to roll up to the Thoads, plural, and he is going to do a force empowered rend melee attack. Which is a plus seven.

[E]

What do you attack? Oh, oh, this. This is a gambot.

[G]

Gambot.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That is a 22.

[C]

Wow, that's impressive. Yeah, I mean, that would hit.

[A]

That does 1d8 plus 3. So 6 points of damage.

[C]

6. Do I want to take that? Yeah, I'll take it.

[A]

Okay. And then he rolls back and he kind of like bounces his little head to make him look tough.

[F]

Oh.

[C]

Oh, you get him, Gambot. Is there anything else or is that it for Gambot?

[G]

That's it.

[C]

All right. That is it for Doug. Up next is Natty. Then after Natty is your enemy, then after we go back to Tolve John, before Natty goes, why don't you. You tell me something that Natty would notice in this room that apparently is a nightmare of interior design.

[E]

I mean, that's. That's a subjective opinion at that point.

[C]

No, no, this is objective.

[E]

Yeah. Natty starts looking around, just kind of taking in the room, and she notices a few wet spots on the floor that she's going to have to clean up later. Giggy carpet's going to really soak that all up if she doesn't get to it quickly.

[D]

I can smell this. This visual.

[C]

Yuck.

[A]

Is he not wearing his diaper?

[E]

He is. It's just right now it's on his head for some reason.

[C]

Yeah. Plus, remember, he grew. He's too big for them now. Natty hasn't had a chance to get the. The new, bigger ones.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Anyway, I'm sorry. So what would Natty want to do here in this scenario?

[E]

So I get why everyone else is joining in on the fight. Like, I understand that motivation of, like, assisting Gunther being attacked, but like, Natty heard them say it's time for a lesson. And we also, when we visited Gunther's aunt, she greeted him the same way, you know, and so I think Natty would start thinking that this is like, just customary and. And doesn't want to, like, ruin whatever moment that Gunther is having. And so Natty would just start strumming on her auto harp and just kind of like creating some, like. Some like, fight music just for, like, to kind of like set the mood for what she thinks is like maybe an important moment or just a necessary moment.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Now Chris John is going to let your character die out of respect for their culture.

[F]

Just goes to. Giggy is like, all right, now you gotta learn a lesson now pay attention.

[E]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

She's.

[E]

She's playing her music, but then while she's doing she's, like, telling Giggy, like, what chord she's playing. So he also learns a little bit.

[C]

Of music I like that is giggy, musically inclined.

[E]

Not a lick. Anytime he makes any sort of, like, attempt at singing, Natty thinks it's the most gorgeous sound she's ever heard in her life.

[H]

Life.

[D]

One of those parents.

[F]

I like to think the music you're playing is just like the Final Fantasy 7 battle theme. Like, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun.

[E]

Get right on, fantasy kid. We play real video games in my house, like Pokemon. Okay, that works.

[C]

Pokemon battle music, then.

[F]

That would feel more appropriate because it's, like, done.

[E]

Yep. That that music played on repeat for a while when you were, like, doing things like gym fights or the Elite Four.

[F]

This is a little bit of a tangent.

[E]

What?

[F]

When you were a kid playing video games.

[A]

I was never a kid.

[F]

What would you ever like? You're playing and your parents are like, we gotta go, you know, get a haircut or go to the mall or whatever.

[E]

You pause it and you leave it on for as long.

[F]

Turn that off and you just turn the TV off and leave the game running. So, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Gus, when you were playing with your stick in your hoop, did you pause it?

[C]

That's how I beat Super Mario Brothers. The first time was in that exact scenario. And we. I had to go to the post office with my mom, and I just turned the TV off and left because I was already in Bowser's Castle.

[F]

It's a hard game, too.

[C]

Yeah. And beat it.

[F]

That's impressive.

[E]

Until you learn, like, where the warp pipes are. You're like, I'm on World Six. I'm. I'm going to bed. But my TV's not.

[C]

So. Yeah, we. I had just ditched the stick in the hoop the year before. It was right after. It was right after that. Oh, man. We got really sidetracked. All right, that is it for Natty. So it is your enemy, our mysterious enemy. First of all, the enemy once again is going to pull out its nunchucks and lock their. Both sets of their eyes on you, Gunther. And lash out with their nunchucks one more time again. This time, make me a strength saving throw.

[F]

21.

[C]

All right. Yeah. The nunchucks lock themselves around your rapier, and the enemy pulls like, as if to try to pull the rapier out of your hands. But you manage to keep a firm grip and hold on to it.

[I]

Excellent grip.

[A]

Do you recognize that voice? Are you allowed to check on that?

[F]

I didn't Recognize these people.

[C]

He didn't recognize the nunchucks wraparound. And your enemy grunts in approval. But still with the momentum of the nunchucks, they still kind of swing around the back side of the rapier and come up and knock you in the chest. Still doing a little bit of damage. Hitting you for nine points of bludgeoning damage.

[A]

How you doing, by the way?

[F]

I would not be doing very well if I hadn't done my flippant second wind.

[C]

They look around analyzing the situation and yeah, they're gonna go ahead and attack you again, Gunther. The other body lashes out with that scythe that they used earlier to redirect the attack and tries to take a stab at you. Hitting AC18.

[F]

It misses.

[C]

Yes, 18's a miss. Wow.

[F]

Wow.

[C]

You have really good armor. All right. Yeah, the saw hits your armor, but then it hits it like in a reinforced spot and deflects off, not doing any damage to you.

[A]

Very good.

[F]

It didn't hurt at all.

[E]

Toll.

[C]

One of them turns and looks at you and tosses a dart in your direction. Ah, hitting AC 18.

[D]

Oh, that's a miss.

[E]

19.

[A]

This have such high AC.

[E]

What?

[D]

Oh wait, you know what? I might have had my shield up. And even though I didn't make make.

[E]

Any you two handed, I did, I.

[D]

Did proclaim I was gonna do two handed. So let me lower my shield.

[E]

Which means you can have your shield hanging on the outside of your arm as you swing down with both hands. Right?

[D]

That didn't upset our audience in the greater YouTube audience at all when we made that animation. I, I took my shield off. So now I'm at a 17.

[E]

So yeah, that, that's gonna hit, I guess.

[C]

Okay, yeah, that does hit. I, I love that on YouTube how, how angry people not angry. How invested people got. Because that's just engagement. I mean that's just like driving, driving that algorithm.

[A]

Keep telling us we're wrong. We love it.

[E]

Don't watch our content over and over.

[D]

And over again and leave a comment.

[A]

And share with your friends to show.

[E]

How wrong to everybody.

[C]

It's like, I understand that bucklers exist, but we're playing D D. We're not in mid the middle ages in, in England.

[A]

The rule of Cool.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

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[A]

Ooh.

[E]

25.

[C]

Oh man.

[A]

Gus, I do want to remind you, you have an inspiration die.

[D]

I do. Barbara.

[A]

Yes. Yes, yes.

[C]

That was his roll. That was not my role. Otherwise I would have done it. It's not luck. It's. I don't have a luck dice. It's an inspiration dice, but thank you. I would absolutely would have used it there. Yeah. The dart hits you and you instinctively reach to your neck and pull it out and you look at it and you feel a little woozy and you look around and realize it's the same kind of dart that took out the officers and aides in the room. But you managed to shake your head and regain your faculties.

[F]

Okay.

[C]

You only take Some piercing damage. And you take 10 points of piercing damage, but you manage to stay awake. Okay. And for their final attack, the enemy once again narrows their eyes and looks at your weapon, Gunther. And they once again lash out with their nunchucks. Trying to wrap their nunchucks around your rapier. Go ahead and make me a strength saving throw.

[A]

They're kind of moving away from Gambot. Are they? Because I don't know if that would provoke an opportunity attack.

[C]

No, all of these people are within melee range already because they all attacked them. So it's all right there.

[A]

He's watching, though.

[F]

That's a 13.

[C]

Okay.

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

This time, you're unable to hold on to your rapier. And they pull down with all their might on the nunchucks. And your rapier comes out of your hand and sticks into the ground. Point first into the ground.

[D]

Gus, can you take that again instead of into the ground?

[E]

Into the shag carpet.

[C]

Into the shag carpet. The rapier pierces the shag carpet, angering your parents because they just paid to have that installed.

[E]

Doing that with the nunchuck was how Splinter defeated Shredder at the end of the Ninja Turtle movie.

[D]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[C]

I forgot.

[E]

He had Michelangelo's nunchuck, and he wrapped it around his little weapon.

[C]

I have not seen the Ninja Turtles movie since it came out in theaters. Like, what was that in, like, 88, 89 or something like that?

[E]

Use your stick and hoop as you roll down the street towards the theater.

[F]

I watched it. Fourth of July.

[D]

It's really good.

[E]

Holds up.

[C]

I'm so old, and it was. It was so long ago. I remember I paid $2 to see that movie.

[H]

Whoa.

[E]

That's how much a movie should cost.

[C]

Okay, so your rapier is now in the shag carpet in front of you, and the nunchucks swing back around and strike you in the jaw, doing 14 points of damage. Gunther.

[F]

Is Gunther trying to speak as his jaw is broken?

[D]

It's not broken.

[C]

No. So you're like, at one hit point.

[F]

I'm at one hit point.

[C]

With that, the enemy in front of you stows all of their weapons, puts away the scythe, puts away the darts, and returns the nunchucks to their belt.

[I]

The lesson is finished.

[F]

I'm nearly finished.

[I]

You have much to learn, young one.

[F]

I know. Who are you?

[C]

Tell me.

[I]

Let us go outside and speak privately.

[F]

All of us. Yes.

[G]

Two.

[F]

Yes.

[G]

Could. Game up.

[I]

Come here's the mightiest of you all.

[D]

Yeah, he is actually the only one.

[G]

Who made a late on you so, yeah, I think.

[C]

Think the figure before you turns and walks briskly to the door. Again, like, totally in lockstep. It's uncanny how the two of them can move so precisely together. Doug, Natty and Tol. Why don't the three of you make me? Constitution checks.

[E]

11, nat 20, 23, 14.

[C]

Doug and Tol. Something about the excitement of all this. And, you know, you've been going for quite a while now, traveling and doing all of these things. You're starting to get kind of a little tired. You both have one level of exhaustion now. Rude exhaustion means minus one to all. D20 checks when outside of combat.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

The figure turns and walks out of the room.

[F]

Well, as everyone leaves, Gunther looks around at all the officers passed out and then does a little salute with his little kick behind his foot and then walks out.

[C]

And like, a picture. He does the salute, then, like, rubs. Rubs his jaw and then goes out.

[G]

Hopefully they don't think it was us that did this to them. When they wake up and none of us are here.

[D]

And before Tolv leaves, he looks and he sees into the bathroom that the shag carpet extends into the bathroom floor into the toilet.

[F]

And he judges quietly and get there notices that there are framed pictures of past generals, but they were done by, like, someone's relative who's really, really bad at art. But they were, like, too polite to, like, say no. So they're all hung up and they. They look terrible.

[C]

It's like the refrigerator of the Fort Andridge man. I rented an apartment years ago that had shack carpet that went all the way into the bathroom. And it was absolutely gross. I hated it.

[A]

As long as it's not in the toilet space.

[C]

Yeah, it went all the way around the toilet and everything. It was.

[E]

That's.

[C]

I don't get it. Yeah, it was terrible. So does everyone follow the figure outside?

[E]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Natty and Giggy are doing the same unified step kind of thing. Like they're doing.

[C]

The two of you just for fun. Make me. I don't know, dexterity checks just to see.

[E]

One for me, one for gigs.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[A]

Gigs.

[E]

Natty rolled a five. Giggy rolled a 21.

[C]

Giggy's like, like, a perfect copy of the figures in front of you. Meanwhile, Natty might be too distracted looking at how adorable Giggy looks and almost accidentally kicks him by accident.

[E]

I can't stop looking, looking at him. Yeah, he's too cute.

[C]

Too cute. You all walk outside of HQ to see this figure before you. They take off their masks and turn to look at the four of you.

[I]

Gunther, what is the lesson you have learned today?

[F]

Do not strike unless I am certain it will not. It will hit and not hit me back.

[I]

No.

[F]

Wrong, though.

[E]

Any race raises her hands.

[I]

Yes.

[E]

Don't bring a sword to a nunchuck fight.

[F]

Almost.

[I]

Not quite.

[D]

Toll raises his hand.

[I]

Oh, okay.

[D]

You get a grip. You know, you gotta hold on to your saber better. I mean, come on.

[A]

Yes.

[G]

All right.

[D]

I'm a ninja now. Yeah.

[E]

Ninja. Pirate.

[I]

Gunther. If your opponent cannot hold on to their weapon, they cannot use their weapon.

[G]

I'm gonna let one down.

[F]

Gunther coughs up some of the blood from his beating and then writes a note using it so that he won't forget it. So he'll remember it because it's written in his own blood.

[I]

And don't forget, an opponent is truly disarmed, but no one will fight alongside them.

[E]

Them.

[I]

And they fight alone.

[G]

Is that why you guys are, like, joined at the hip, literally?

[I]

Yes. But you see, we are no longer physically conjoined at the hip.

[C]

And they. They undo the wrapping that's around them, binding them together. And you see that they are indeed two separate individuals.

[D]

Whoa. You were, like, fighting us on hard mode. Is that.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Well, according to them, it's. You're more powerful when you together versus.

[F]

Yes.

[C]

Barb's.

[E]

Barb's look of surprise when you said yes.

[F]

Yes.

[C]

Well, they're excited about it.

[D]

We're their star students.

[I]

We used to be physically conjoined, but after a bloody combat two years ago, we were separated. We still strap ourselves together when we fight in order to have the ultimate combat prowess.

[F]

What happened two years ago?

[B]

What?

[F]

You were just split us under bloody combat.

[G]

With who?

[D]

Our enemies.

[C]

They look at you like you asked a dumb question.

[G]

A lot of people out there.

[F]

Why have you come for me?

[I]

Shannon sent us to provide you training and to convey the lessons that we know to aid you in your search.

[F]

Thank you. What may I call you?

[I]

We are Renaissance.

[F]

Which one is Renee? Which one is Zeus? Yes.

[D]

So, like, when you were separated, was that kind of, like, cool? Were you actually kind of relieved because you had some autonomy or.

[A]

No.

[I]

Oh, it was terrible.

[C]

All right, Gunther.

[I]

We know that much like, we were separated, you have been separated from your friend. Perhaps it is time to reunite with them and increase your powers together.

[G]

Talking about Bunlap?

[D]

They talk about Bunlap.

[F]

Have you spoken with Bunlap? Do you know of his plight together?

[G]

Are you guys. Are you guys Bunther?

[C]

It's better than Gunlap.

[I]

We have not spoken to him. But we have observed him in sky Blue Falls prison. He needs your help. Perhaps it is time to reunite with him.

[D]

Yes.

[F]

Do you know anything of the six toad villain? Or 11 toad, depending upon if you're counting all the feet.

[D]

We gotta nail this guy's branding because it's very confusing right now.

[A]

Six or eleven.

[F]

Well, Micah pointed out I previously said six toad and then I later referred to him as Levitoed.

[I]

All I can say is you will find them when you are ready. And you are not ready yet.

[D]

Ooh.

[C]

Bird.

[F]

Gunther nods and shakes its head and looks down.

[C]

Everybody go ahead and make me a perception check.

[F]

30. 20.

[A]

Nat 20 minus 13. But with exhaustion. That is a 12.

[E]

12.

[C]

Those are all pretty decent.

[E]

I did the thing where you, like.

[D]

Look at your cards for poker.

[E]

Put it down. You go.

[C]

I gotta look at them.

[G]

Anyway.

[C]

All four of you hear bees buzzing angrily versus happily. Yeah. In another campaign. Buzzing bees.

[A]

Can we tell where that's coming from?

[C]

Like what direction it appears like it's coming from? From maybe behind and under you. It doesn't make sense. You turn to look around, but you can't see where the sound is coming from. Precisely.

[F]

Like in a tunnel that's underneath this ground. As in there have been in the past.

[C]

Maybe.

[G]

Maybe.

[C]

Nice. Nice.

[F]

All right, everyone. Ready Your tongues.

[G]

Okay. What are we gonna do with our tongues? Gunto.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

What's the plan?

[F]

You use your tongue to wrap around them.

[E]

Gigi just starts licking the ground.

[F]

Nice. I have a question. Yeah. That thing I got.

[E]

Nouns are fun.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Names, titles I think I got from the.

[F]

I think I'm a jiggy water person.

[A]

Sea drinker.

[F]

The sea drinker. I got a thing that can help you find things.

[D]

Oh, wasn't it like a water pouch or something that had endless water?

[C]

The octopot of obscura.

[F]

Okay. Can I use that? Turns water and inquisitive ink. Drink. Dribble some out. Ink flows towards hidden things in the area. And I want to use it to find bees.

[C]

Okay. Yeah. You go ahead and pour some out. Go ahead and roll me. 4D 6. 16.

[H]

2.

[C]

4, 6, 4. Yeah, we. We have this mechanic. I guess now might be a good time to introduce it and to explain it. Called dice pool. You may hear us use this every now and then from here on forward. This is my explanation to the players. It's my explanation to the audience as well. So the octopod has. What did I say? 4D6. And you rolled those. And we kind of track your progress. And any dice that rolls a one through a three is dropped. So in this case, you roll. What did I say? 2 4, 6 4. We dropped that 2. So now moving forward, you have a 3D6 pool. So when you want to use it again, use 3. And the number you roll kind of determines the progress you make. And it's kind of a depleting resource as time goes on.

[F]

Okay.

[C]

So now in the Future, instead of 4D6, you'll be using 3D6.

[F]

Gotcha.

[C]

Since we dropped the. The two and as this comes up again in the future, I'll. I'll re explain it again one or two more times because I'm sure it's. It's a new mechanic and we're learning the ins and outs of it.

[A]

Incentivized not to roll low.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Correct.

[D]

Or too often correct.

[C]

It's a way to kind of limit the use of something without saying like two uses per long rest. It's a little more luck and interesting active base.

[E]

Yeah, I like it.

[C]

Yeah, I think it's.

[D]

You know what, Gus, I'll.

[E]

I approve.

[D]

That's fine. You can continue to use this. Yeah.

[C]

Micah Blaine approves now.

[A]

He doesn't want to use it anymore for some reason. I don't know.

[C]

The. The ink kind of dribbles out from your octopot and goes in the direction back towards the HQ and then seems to seep straight into the ground.

[D]

Oh, that shag carpet is absorbent.

[A]

Well, I think we're outside now.

[F]

They are under the ground. We are being attacked.

[C]

Being attacked.

[G]

Do you think they're coming towards us or they're just maybe passing by?

[F]

I would assume they are attacking. I've been attacked Flight surprise already once today.

[D]

We can be proactive and attack them. I can hit my hammer into the ground and cause a cave in. That sounds like fun.

[F]

I shall burrow. Can I try and burrow underneath the. Wherever that ink went?

[C]

Yeah. Do you have like tools for that or is that just like a Gunther thing or.

[F]

I don't know if I have explicit tools. I just cast something that like, they do.

[C]

Yeah. I'm just trying to figure out like how that would work. Yeah.

[A]

I have a shovel.

[C]

You begin digging into the ground. Doug pitches in a shovel. It takes a little while. At first it's just dirt and not. Not much else.

[A]

I like to think the shovel that Doug actually has is one of those little sandcastle shovels. I mean, plastic one.

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

You start to get. You get really tired and it's just. Just seems to be dirt.

[D]

So we hear bees under the Ground.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Angry bees.

[D]

Angry, angry bees. Renaissance. Is that what their name is? Hey, Renaissance dude, is this, like, a cool attack that you had planned that you didn't really get to do? You familiar with these bees?

[C]

You turn to ask Renaissance, and they're gone.

[F]

Cool.

[D]

All right. We just got Batman. That's neat.

[A]

Did they turn to the bees?

[C]

There's a note up the ground where Renese once stood.

[F]

Oh, can I pick it up and read it?

[C]

Yeah, you pick it up and read it.

[F]

Arm yourself with friends.

[G]

Did you say, arm yourself with friends?

[D]

Yes.

[G]

Okay, so I feel like there's a. There's a theme going on here about, like, just being together and, like, you know, having your. Your, like, good camaraderie with people you work with and stuff like that. You know, not, like, don't be alone. So I think this is really just trying to. And tell don't split the party no matter what we do. Never, ever, ever.

[F]

Or it could mean for you to all take your arms off and I fight with them.

[D]

That's an idea. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. I was. I was thinking you were going to say to, like, Voltron, where they are literally your arms.

[D]

Wait, you know how, like, earlier today, how we were promoted and now we all have, like, little privates that are at our command? No.

[G]

Sorry.

[D]

Just says no.

[A]

Saying little privates is very funny.

[D]

We have, like, a team. Each of us has three privates at our command.

[G]

Yeah, but aren't they all, like, passed out in the other room?

[E]

Losing it. Sorry, Barbara. Gus is losing it.

[D]

I mean, digging holes. It seems like a perfect thing for them to do.

[G]

It's true. We could put them to work, but.

[E]

You'Re practicing privates to work.

[C]

Yeah, make them. Make your privates work for you. Before we proceed, I just want to cover, like, a metagame. Point of order. So, Gunther, you have actually learned a lesson from Renews today. If you refresh your character sheet, you'll have a new ability on there.

[D]

Oh, my goodness.

[A]

Do never be alone.

[D]

It's called stop sucking and hold on your sword.

[C]

High five from Barbara There. It's called disarming attack.

[F]

Oh, Gunther. Lesson Disarming attack. When you hit a creature with an attack roll, you can expend one superiority die to attempt to disarm the target. Add the superiority die to the attack's damage roll. The target must succeed on a strength saving throw or drop one object of your choice that it's holding with the object landing in its space.

[D]

Do you want to practice?

[F]

Yes, but I'm worried about bees. Is there anyone Around.

[C]

Yeah, you know, the fort's pretty bustling. You know, everyone inside HQ right now is unconscious, but you assume they'll be back awake at some point. But yeah, there are other members of the Mortalion walking around accomplishing various tasks. There's a group of four recruits walking by practicing their marching.

[A]

Can I go up in front of them right in the line of where they're marching?

[C]

Yeah, you're a corporal now. So they all stop and they salute you, Doug.

[G]

I salute them back. At ease, friends. I mean subordinates.

[C]

There you go.

[E]

Doug is a natural, I have to say.

[G]

I have a very important mission for you guys. So you know, me and my fellow corporals here.

[A]

And Doug points back to the group.

[G]

You know, we've been heard a strange kind of buzzing sound as coming from underneath. It's almost like angry bees. Specifically very angry bees. Do you guys happen to know what those might be or what what it what it's from?

[C]

One of them steps forward and addresses you.

[H]

Sir, we have heard reports of the Nectar Knight in the area and there are rumors that he was imprisoned underground. Now he has been set free. The fort has been plagued with bees and there's dripping honey and numerous beehives all around.

[D]

Sir, what is a Nectar Knight? That sounds like the coolest thing ever. Describe him in, in perfect detail. I want to know everything.

[E]

It sounds like a cocktail.

[D]

It sounds like a dude who uses like when he goes jousting has like a big bee stinger at the end of his thing and his whole armor is like honeycombed and yellow and golden.

[A]

Oh, like KN I?

[D]

Yeah, like some sort of cereal mascot. But his food is for strong boys and girls.

[E]

I bet she's a young guy that was coming out of the Seeing Zorro with his parents and then some guy shot down his parents. Then he went home and a bee ran through his window and scared him and he's like, I will use that image.

[H]

Anyways.

[G]

I don't know these people anymore. He said he was in prison underground and he escaped.

[H]

Yes, sir. He was imprisoned underground and has been recently set free. He didn't escape set free. Oh, the Nectar Knight is a demigod, of course. He's a well armored knight with the face of a fox and his armor is constantly dripping with honey.

[D]

I love this guy. I love it.

[E]

It's a bit of a mixed imagery there, but we'll go with it.

[D]

I'm so down.

[H]

There are bees all over Ford Indridge. There are numerous beehives.

[E]

Well, that's good. They participate in an Important part of the ecosystem in this area. So I'm glad they've returned with this Nectar Knight. Is he.

[D]

He was imprisoned by the Mortalion. Like the underground prison was owned by the Mortalion?

[H]

Unknown, sir. The underground area under 4 Indridge was only recently rediscovered. I believe you all discovered it, sir.

[F]

Yes, we knew that, of course.

[D]

Are we using that area now like the Mortalion, or is it still the Umdarians?

[H]

Oh yes. We hope to be building a temple of the Bloodbather coming soon.

[C]

And the private points to a hole in the ground and there's a sign near it that says Temple of Blood Bather coming soon.

[A]

Is the Blood Bather another.

[G]

Is the Blood Bethel? Another demons God?

[E]

Flawless, Barbara. Flawless.

[A]

I was just gonna ask Gus, but I was like. I should just.

[D]

I know I liked it.

[E]

That was a perfect transition.

[H]

The Blood Bather is actually a major God.

[D]

Okay, I have another mission for you guys. Okay, Once we're done talking, you know, Doug and the others might have more questions, but there is a room where there are a bunch of sleepy officers. Okay, first and foremost, I want you to to re wallpaper the balls in there because they are falling and being stripped, okay? And I want tie dye wallpaper. Okay? And then I want you to put a fluffy pillow under the heads of each of your superior officers so that they have a nice nappy time.

[G]

Well, they're already sleeping on shag carpet, which is pretty plush.

[D]

Yeah, but I mean, imagine the favor that they will get by, you know, waking up and they have such a nice nap on a nice cushy pillow.

[G]

Yes, before you get to that, I do, I do wonder, are these bees hostile? Like, are they like disrupting you guys here in immortalion, or are they kind of peaceful?

[H]

They're mostly an inconvenience, sir. They seem to be all over the place. Whenever we're trying to get work done, we're having to deal with excess honey and honeycombs and constantly harvesting it and trying to relocate them.

[I]

Don't.

[F]

Just be careful not to lose your glass glasses.

[I]

What?

[F]

What's a My girl reference?

[C]

Oh, oh.

[G]

I was gonna say also like bees and honey are also my worst nightmare because when you get that in my fur. It came over, man.

[D]

Came over.

[F]

So why was the Nectar Knight imprisoned exactly?

[H]

Unknown, sir. His time in prison predates Fort Indridge.

[F]

Oh, and he was imprisoned by us.

[H]

What do you mean, sir?

[F]

The army?

[H]

Unknown, sir, sir. As far as I know. No. His imprisonment predates our activity in this area.

[G]

Who is the one who freed him? Who gave that Order.

[H]

He freed himself once the escape path was cleared, presumably by you all.

[F]

Oh yes, and we did that on purpose. Yes, yes. The Temple of the Blood Bather.

[I]

What's the.

[F]

What's the vibe of that? Why, why the Blood Bather?

[H]

The Blood Beater is someone the mortalion respects. He was once a brave mortal warrior who ascended to God godhood because of battle prowess. And all great mortal warriors aspire to follow in his footsteps. He is super strong and a patron to humans.

[D]

Personally, I feel like we should be like, you know, exalting like the olive branch God, you know, the. The peace God, not the blood bath.

[E]

We are in a military.

[D]

Yeah, I know.

[E]

You are aware that we're part of a fighting force that's goal is to come to participate in combat of a war.

[D]

Yes, I just want to be aware of the military industrial complex. I don't want to fight just for poops and giggles. Okay. Ideally we finish the war so that we can have peace.

[B]

You know, if there's nothing else, sir.

[H]

We'Ll get back to work making the officers cozy.

[F]

Oh, very good.

[G]

Now you got any other questions for them?

[D]

Yeah, Nadi, you want to know more about the Blood Bather or the Nectar Knight?

[E]

No. That seems like you guys got good information. I figured we should maybe the bees. I don't know if the bees are really our problem right now. Are they our problem right now? We hear them angry, but they said they're everywhere all the time, I imagine.

[G]

And correct me if I'm wrong. Sergeants.

[E]

Privates.

[G]

Privates. My bad. Would the bees lead us to where the Nectar Knight is?

[H]

Potentially unknown, sir. We have not noticed any pattern to the bees appearances. We know the Nectar Knight is free somewhere, however, we have not been able to find him.

[G]

And is the goal of this to recapture him?

[H]

Negative, sir.

[G]

Okay, well, it doesn't seem like there's really an issue here then, other than the honey being a little bit inconvenient.

[H]

Just a minor inconvenience.

[E]

Yeah, it just seems like a little bit of a status update for the fort right now. They got a bee problem.

[H]

Yeah.

[E]

You know, if we get ordered to maybe deal with these bees, we could deal with them. But don't. Aren't we supposed to be heading to somewhere else?

[C]

Or we. What?

[E]

What's our mission right now? Now who's in charge? Am I in charge?

[D]

I don't remember.

[E]

I think I am in charge.

[C]

I believe Natty, you were in charge.

[G]

Hey, Natty, where are we headed?

[D]

Got a free bun lap at some point. Yeah.

[E]

Oh yeah. Let's go get Bun Lap.

[C]

Who.

[F]

Who was it that got maps earlier? Someone got maps.

[G]

Didn't you get one?

[F]

Did I get.

[C]

You did. I thought you took the maps, Gunther.

[F]

Okay, good. Can I pull out my maps and look and see where Sky Blue Falls is?

[C]

Yeah. You pull out your map and you see Sky Blue Fall Falls in the distance. It's kind of on the way to the front. It's not all the way at the front. And you know that you had been kind of expected to head out to the front, so it is something you could stop by along the way. Closer by, before Sky Blue Falls, you see some other landmarks on your map that you could conceivably go to. You see Meadow Canyon and Boiling Bluffs on there as well.

[E]

Natty chews away any of the lingering privates. Go back. Go back to your work. Go to your stuff.

[C]

One of them points before you start shooting and says, oh, Boiling Bluffs. There was news from Boiling Bluffs recently, sir. There was a relic stolen from the font of the Fire Eater there.

[G]

Oh, the fire eater. We should go there. I think we should go there, Natty.

[F]

That's fine.

[C]

And then they salute you and then walk away. They go look for pillows.

[D]

Very good. Carry on.

[E]

Natty turns to Private Parts and goes earmuffs.

[C]

Private Parts puts his hands over his ears and starts humming.

[E]

Okay, so we're supposed to be heading to the front, but we've got some personal business we want to deal with. But our personal business is in the direction of the front. So why don't we head that direction? And then if we happen upon, let's say, a prison with a certain little friend inside of it, we can maybe do some shenanigans there. But all the while we look like to our superiors, like we're actually heading where they told.

[D]

And if they call us out on it, we can say we were recruiting new members of the Mortalion.

[E]

You know, just lies upon lies is always a good call.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[G]

We'll never get caught in it once because we have steel trap memories. Right, everyone?

[E]

Right?

[D]

Yeah, right, dog. Is that what your name is?

[C]

And I do want to give you all a quick reminder as well. See, you're at the fort. You're at Fort Endrich. You have the opportunity to rest. The party hasn't rested in many watches, which is why your exhaustion is starting to kind of build up.

[E]

Nah, we're probably good. I think we're all at, like, full health and we should just head out and not even think about recovering.

[C]

You can head out too. I'm just saying, if you wanted to rest, this is a good opportunity to. Or you can just go out and continue if you want as well.

[A]

Long rest, please.

[D]

I could use a long rest.

[E]

Yeah, we should rest. We haven't been to our bunks in a while.

[F]

I feel perfectly fine. I feel.

[G]

I mean, you don't have to rest, Gunpo. You could just stay up and watch.

[D]

Yeah, I want to call your bluff.

[E]

He's not actually saying anything. He thinks he's saying that he's actually on the ground right now just gurgling.

[F]

No, I say that because I had a long rest recently because of that whole trance with the bedrock.

[C]

Which is why Gunther did not have to roll for exhaustion.

[A]

Oh, long rest time.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Let's go to our bunks. We can actually sleep in our beds for once.

[D]

I sleep in a team's bed.

[C]

It's really damp. It's really wet. You gross. Yeah. And if you all want, you know, you can use the downtime to pursue other things. Talk to each other, talk to NPCs, work on any long term projects or goals you might have. It's really up to you guys. If you all want to do anything, you tell me. And if not, we can continue to.

[A]

I would like to maybe knock out a little bit of work on my invention for that contest.

[C]

That's great because that's another dice pool thing that we're going to do. So it's. It's good that we worked on that.

[E]

Hey, Doug?

[C]

Yeah?

[E]

Could Gigi at least like, watch or maybe you give him something to do to help so he can have a little lesson while you're doing that?

[G]

I'm very particular about my equipment and everything and my tools and everything. So does he have like a little like, playpen you could put him in like a cage so that he could watch but just not touch.

[D]

Or like an extra big diaper that's.

[F]

Like a straight jacket or something.

[G]

Or like one of those like bouncy things where he's like kind of strapped into it.

[E]

I don't normally like to restrict him in any sort of way, but he does have his little leash. That's the only restriction I'll do. That's just so I can keep an eye on him. So what if I like, attach the leash to like a stake in the ground that's just long enough that he can get to the edge of your machines but not touch them.

[G]

Okay, you know what?

[E]

Hey, Doug, come here. A lot of times he sees his tail and he starts chasing it and he'll go in circles around that stake, and the leash will get shorter and shorter and shorter.

[G]

I also just want to make sure you're accounting for his. His slightly larger size, you know?

[F]

Yeah.

[G]

And the distance that he could go now because he is slightly larger, you know, mathematically speaking. Yeah. You have to put it like an inch behind. Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[G]

You got it.

[E]

Mass times speed equals energy. Whatever. Something like that.

[G]

Yeah. MC squared.

[E]

I also want to say this about Giggy getting bigger. Can I make a request about him? What. What happened when he got bigger? I don't know if we specified this because you said he got like, he grew.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

I just love the image of this little baby gremlin. Can he just like. Like increase in size but not actually maturity?

[C]

Yeah, absolutely.

[E]

Like, he didn't actually turn into, like, a teenager, but he's just a larger Gigi.

[D]

So when you, like, are in Photoshop and you take the PNG and then.

[E]

You just kind of zoom it out.

[D]

Like make it a little bit bigger.

[E]

He's just scaled up.

[F]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

I like it.

[F]

Like in hunting. I blew up the baby.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

Terrifying.

[E]

Classic.

[C]

So scary.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Okay, that is now canon.

[E]

Hey, Natty puts a. Puts a stake in the ground. Ask asks tolve to, like, use his hammer to really hammer it in and then goes, all right, Doug, I guess you're okay. And Natty leaves.

[C]

Love it. No notes.

[G]

So you watching any movies lately or. I don't know. How do I talk to a kid?

[F]

Could Gunther go with Doug as well to try and work on his sword and talk with Doug?

[C]

Sure.

[F]

He's got that goat eye or whatever shadow thing that can be used to upgrade his sword.

[C]

Like, both of you working side by side on different projects. Yeah, I feel like workshop kind of.

[A]

Area because I did already imbue your other sword right with you.

[F]

You imbued my armor, which is part of the reason why my AC so high. But no, this was when the goat gave Gunther that little, like, item. It can be used to upgrade my sword.

[D]

Oh, Gunther, I have an idea for your upgrade because renese were telling you you need to hold on to your weapon. Maybe you make like a cool chain that connects from your sword to your hand. It'll be like a wallet chain, but for your sword.

[C]

I love it. That's funny.

[B]

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[C]

So Doug's gonna be working on his invention. Gunter's gonna be working on his sword. Natty dropped Giggy off to watch Doug and hopefully get a lesson. Is Natty gonna do anything?

[E]

We call that Dougie Daycare. Yeah, Natty actually is going to use the assistance of one of her closest friends ever tolve to help with an activity she has in mind. She needs to work on her song.

[D]

Oh, you picked the most musically inclined member Team.

[A]

I know it.

[C]

And Tolv, you're gonna assist Natty with that.

[D]

Yes, I have something else in mind that I'll do, but I also wanted to chill with Natty for sure.

[C]

Okay, Doug, we'll start with you since, you know, you said what you wanted to do first. So, you know this invention, this is from the flyer, right, that you saw in the high three that you're entering into the contest.

[A]

It was for the build you'd best contest.

[C]

Have you mentioned what the invention actually is or what it does?

[A]

I think I did in passing. But just a reminder, the contest was to make something, an invention that should embody the values of finding and rescuing endangered wildlife without using any wood in the invention.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[A]

And the invention that I came up with is a echo pulse locator, which emits a soft sound, like pulses, kind of like a bat echolocation, to detect hidden animals without causing them panic and to also draw them to the device's location so I could kind of lead them out.

[C]

Where did you get the idea for this kind of thing, Doug?

[G]

Oh, well, you know, Doug spent a lot of time kind of out in the wilderness, and he. He knows, like, a lot of really sudden noises and traps and stuff like that could really frighten a lot of animals and wildlife. And so he just wanted to make a really calming sound to kind of help draw them out and to kind of maybe rescue them from dangerous locations. So he didn't want to make anything that captured them because, you know, Doug knows what it feels like to be kind of to feel trapped, and it's not a fun feeling.

[C]

What does this look like? What is this invention, this echopulse locator? Like, what does it look like?

[A]

Broadly speaking, I would say it's kind of like a little backpack, so something he could wear on his back that has almost like a speaker looking bit to it that makes the pulsing location sound.

[C]

Okay, has Doug sketched it out or is it just like all in his mind so far, I think he one.

[A]

Of the steps of working on it, he would probably sketch it out first and then start get like collecting all the parts he needs and stuff.

[C]

Okay, what kind of parts are they? Like, what kind of materials? I know you said no wood, but, like, how would Doug kind of put this together?

[A]

I think over the course of them journeying, he's collected just scraps of metal, wire, things of that nature. I think it's more of like an electric system rather than any type of wood or any natural materials. Okay, so just in his Scavenging. He's scavenged many years, and so he knows what to look for.

[C]

Okay, well, on that note, let's make a roll on the dice pool like Gunther did, just to see what the progress is. So you're gonna roll 4d6. And in this case, the more dice you drop, the more progress you make towards completing your invention.

[G]

Okay.

[E]

You keep saying dice pool, and I keep thinking, that's just Wade Wilson playing D and D.

[A]

I got a six, a four, a two, and a one.

[C]

So you drop the two and the one. So you have two D6 left in your dice pool. So you made pretty good progress. Then you drop. If you drop two of them.

[A]

Them.

[C]

That's really good.

[E]

Wait, question.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Do you want to drop with. In this instance, is Doug trying to lose?

[C]

Yes. In this instance, you want to drop them all, because once you deplete your dice pool, then you're done with your invention. Okay, see, this is why I was like, we're gonna explain this a few times, and we're gonna work through it because it's a. It's an interesting mechanic that I think is really flexible.

[E]

I can see the look on Barb's face as well. She's like, wait, what?

[A]

Yeah, because I was like, I thought. I thought it's bad if you roll low because then you have, like, less dice to contribute to the progress.

[C]

Yeah. In this case, dropping them is progress. And, yeah, we can really dive into it a little more in. In Second Wind for this. So if you're a member of our Patreon over@stinky dragonpod.com Next week, we'll release Second Wind, and we'll talk about this episode, and we'll get a little more into the dice pool. I'm excited that we're using it. I've been looking forward to this for a little while. So you're not quite at the stage where it's done. You know, the prototype's not completely finished, but you're making good progress. And hopefully, the next time you really sit down and work on it, you might finish it. But we'll see.

[A]

I think Doug would hold up his sketch to Giggy.

[G]

Like, what do you think? You got any notes? Is you like it?

[C]

Gigi would have to make a wisdom check.

[E]

Wisdom check. For Gigglesworth, this has to go well. He is a plus zero, and he rolled a three.

[D]

Ooh, very good.

[E]

So what's he do, Gus?

[A]

He loves it.

[C]

I'm gonna say. He doesn't really pick up what's going on. He doesn't understand the concept behind this. He can't seem to focus on what Doug is showing him. Instead, he seems to be looking away in the distance. He's just staring at Captain Grumbles and licking his chops. Yeah.

[E]

Thank you for clarifying that Captain Grumbles is still with us. I didn't do it.

[C]

I have to remind everyone there are.

[A]

Can'T escape these NPCs.

[C]

There are other people here. We've got to paint the picture. All right, good. I think we had good progress there. Doug, you happy with that?

[G]

I'm pretty happy.

[C]

Okay, so, Gunther, you're gonna try working on your sword or your weapon? What's going on here?

[F]

Yeah, so I have proficiency with smithing tools, and I got this scapegoat tooth, which is a jagged goat tooth surrounded by flickering aura of dark light. And I want to try imbue my sword with it. It says, must be crafted to an item weapon once per session. You can reroll an attack roll, but you instantly take 1d20 necrotic damage for the sin of making a bad roll. Okay, I want to work on that. And, you know, with Doug being such a crafty person, see if they have any, you know, notes or help.

[C]

Yeah. How do you want to approach that? You want to make, like, a check for your blacksmithing or. You tell me, how do you imagine you'll work on integrating this tooth?

[F]

So duct tape at the. I'm imagining, like, you hold the sword, like, on the base of it, closer to where your pinky would be when you hold it.

[C]

Hilt.

[F]

Yeah. And the hilt, like the base of the hilt?

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Kind of attaching it there so it's kind of almost like a tooth at the bottom of it or in the center. It would almost look more just like jewelry or something.

[C]

The pommel. I'm no blacksmith. I'm no blacksmith like you. I was gonna say. Yeah. It sounds like the pommel to me.

[E]

It's like Blaine just yelling out the pieces of swords.

[H]

Yeah.

[D]

You know, I'm so uniquely, like, I know these things.

[F]

Yes. Whatever Blaine said.

[C]

Yeah. I could be wrong. I'm no sword expert like Blaine, but I think that sometimes on swords, didn't they have, like, sharp objects on the pommel, like, for up close, like, melee, like, you know, hitting someone over the head with it?

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

Are you thinking, like, something like that?

[F]

Yeah, but I think this would be a thing, because if I have to roll to damage myself if I miss. So it's almost where I squeeze the hilt, and it'll bite me, and then I get to reroll the grip. The grip.

[C]

Okay.

[F]

Does that make sense?

[C]

I think so. No.

[D]

I'll tell you what, audience, why don't.

[C]

You draw us what this looks like?

[F]

Oh, man, that's gonna be.

[C]

You're.

[F]

It's gonna be worse, Gus.

[C]

Not you, Chris. I'm telling the audience. The audience can draw us. What?

[G]

How?

[C]

They picture what they think.

[E]

Put us on the audience. They're nice to us.

[F]

Does it make sense? Like, because you hurt yourself if you use it. Yeah. So I want to be able to, like, bite. It's like a bite.

[C]

Yeah, I get you. I think I know what you're going for here. Why don't you make, like, a blacksmith check or something?

[E]

What's a blacksmith check?

[C]

I don't know. That's why I'm asking him.

[F]

How about, like, is that, like, a sleight of hand?

[C]

I'm trying to think if it's more dexterity or strength based.

[E]

Yeah, it's not slight of hand.

[A]

The actual rule is D20 plus proficiency.

[E]

That's from Micah.

[C]

Oh, plus just the proficiency. What do you have? I got you. Yeah, go and roll a D20 then, and add your proficiency bonus, which is plus three. Thank you, Micah, for knowing the rules.

[F]

That's 11 plus three. So 14. Oh, can I use that thing that Barb gave me?

[C]

What's it called?

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

At some point in this episode, you gotta say something.

[F]

Butt tap.

[C]

Yes, the butt tap. You can use the butt tap and add.

[G]

I didn't touch your butt.

[C]

It was guidance.

[F]

Guidance. So that's an extra one.

[C]

So the duration on that's typically only one minute, but we'll say that. That you can still use it.

[A]

A long rest.

[D]

Yeah, it's one one day.

[C]

So that takes you to a 15?

[F]

I believe so.

[C]

So you rolled an 11. Plus three is 14. Plus one is 15. That is exactly the number I was looking for was 15. You weren't gonna make it if you didn't use that guidance. So, yeah, you work and you're able to integrate the tooth into the pommel slash hilt of your rapier.

[A]

Nice.

[E]

Cool.

[F]

While I'm working on it, can I talk to Doug? Doug?

[G]

Yeah.

[F]

I'm afraid to go look for Bunlap.

[G]

But he's your friend.

[F]

I know.

[G]

Are you just afraid to go to the Sky Blue Falls prison because they're looking for you, or are you afraid to actually see a friend?

[F]

I'm afraid to see him again.

[G]

Why? What happened?

[F]

I abandoned him.

[G]

I left him, and then he got arrested and has been in prison.

[F]

No, we Were both in prison, and I left and I abandoned him.

[G]

Well, that's a little awkward. Not gonna lie.

[F]

I don't know. I just.

[G]

Well, here's the thing about friendships. You know, they kind of ebb and flow, and sometimes we do things we regret. But I think if and when we do see him again, I think all you just need to do is say, oh, sorry, and maybe, you know, give a proper explanation for why you left him. I imagine it was so that you could maybe come back and get him out.

[E]

Right.

[F]

That is what I would like to think would do, but I have not.

[G]

Well, he might forgive you.

[F]

I hope so. Anyway. I'm gonna go now. Look at this cool tooth I put on my sword.

[G]

Maybe you guys could just join yourselves at the hip and all will be forgiven after that. Because then he'll be forced to be with you, you know? No other choice.

[C]

Do you show Doug your sword that you modified?

[F]

When you say that, dad, look at the sword.

[A]

Doug holds it up almost like it's like a child's science fair project.

[D]

Wow.

[G]

Actually, this is pretty good. You want me to test it out for you?

[F]

If that involves stabbing me, then I prefer no.

[A]

Is there, like, a pillow nearby? Since we're near the bunks?

[C]

There's giggy.

[E]

Stop it.

[G]

I would never hurt a child.

[F]

Do you remember all I taught you about sword fighting?

[C]

Sure. One of the privates you talked to earlier is walking by with a stack of pillows.

[D]

I thought you were just gonna say.

[E]

One of the privates is walking by.

[D]

Stab him.

[A]

Could Doug just, like, stab the pillow, one of the pillows walking by?

[C]

Yeah. Make an attack roll. If it's a one. You're stabbing the private. I'm telling you right now.

[A]

Do I get anything since I'm using the sword that Gunther made?

[C]

Just roll the D20 and we'll see how it goes.

[A]

Okay. It's a 10.

[C]

Oh, I would say that's a miss. You could activate the scapegoat tooth if you want to. Re roll that Attack roll. But you take damage if you do that.

[G]

You know what, Gunther? I trust you. I think it works just fine.

[D]

Just win.

[A]

And then I say to the private.

[G]

Walking by, Just wanted to keep you on your toes, you know?

[D]

Gotcha.

[G]

If you will.

[C]

They kind of give you a wider berth and walk further away from you as Doug hands you back the rapier. Gunther. You hear a voice emanating from the tooth.

[E]

Hello?

[C]

I know what you did. Gunther, that scapegoat.

[A]

Do I hear that, too, or just Gunther?

[C]

Just Gunther.

[F]

What do you know what you did last summer. Who told you?

[C]

You did.

[F]

Oh, shoot.

[C]

All right, on that spooky note, we'll move on to Natty. I believe you said you were gonna work on your song with Toll's assistance.

[F]

Yes.

[A]

Sing. Writing duo of the century.

[D]

Are we, like, mid practice? Like, that's not my tempo.

[C]

Oh, I love that.

[E]

So, yeah, if we could go do this, like, maybe in the. In the bunk, like, we could do it, like, at the beds. I feel like that's a fun little place to be, like, writing music.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

So tell. You heard my fantastic, wonderful beginning of my song that I shared with you guys previously about the the Troop troupe. But as glorious of a song that was going to be, I'm sure you are going to say, I feel like my heart wasn't in it. And I was thinking, like, I got. I gotta really write this song about something that matters to me because their. Their little thing that they sent. Yeah, I just said, you can write a song as long as they need a songwriter. So I'm gonna show them what I got, and I'm gonna write a song about my wife.

[F]

Oh.

[D]

Oh, you're going to dedicate this to me, right? No, no, not at all.

[E]

Not even a lick.

[D]

Understood.

[E]

Yeah. This is about the most important person that I could ever think of, and that's my bride. But I'm having a difficult time with my lyrics. I've got. I've got kind of, like. I'm working on these choruses and. Could you help me with some rhyming?

[D]

Yeah, you know it.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

Throw some words at me. Let's do some wordplay.

[E]

Okay. Okay. I'm obviously gonna use the word bride in there somewhere. So what's a word that can. That can rhyme with bride that I can put into my song?

[D]

Oh, so many.

[G]

You could be a bride or die.

[A]

No, I.

[E]

This is rhyming game. Get out of here, Doug.

[C]

Tied.

[D]

Cried, Lied, Abide. Died. Oh, died. That's very, you know, thematic, you know, because they are the, like, Lord of death.

[E]

Okay, I like that.

[F]

And with you being red now.

[E]

You're not here. You're not here. You all got your moment. You all got your moment.

[G]

Me?

[E]

Back off.

[D]

Maybe if you're talking about, like, their hips don't lie. Oh, boy, they're wide. You know, that's going to be fun. Okay, so we got.

[E]

We got Died with Bride. I like that one. That's a good one. You. You made a good choice.

[D]

Okay, great.

[C]

It's like Mad Libs. I love it.

[D]

Give me another one. Go on, go. Let's. I'm feeling the juices flowing. Let's go.

[E]

And then another word I'm obviously going to use is, like, death in there, you know?

[F]

Oh, yes.

[E]

So what's. What's a word I could rhyme with death?

[D]

This might be a bit of a stretch, but your wife. The name is not Beth, is it?

[E]

No, it is not. And I prefer not to put the name of another woman in the song I'm writing about my betrothed.

[D]

Yeah. Meth might not have the right sort of vibe.

[F]

What is it?

[A]

I was thinking, not in the back of my head, I was like, no one's going to say that.

[D]

Surely, if they're a Family Guy fan, you might talk about Seth MacFarlane.

[E]

It's a harder one. I feel like I'm challenging you with this.

[D]

Yeah. I mean, I think you're going to have to go into double syllables at that point. So it'll be like, what's that?

[A]

Clef.

[E]

Cleth.

[D]

My practice is I go through the Alphabet.

[E]

Yeah. So like beth, cath.

[D]

Death.

[C]

Oh.

[E]

Like, you know, so on and so forth. Replace the first letter kind of a thing.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Go beyond that. There's other words.

[D]

Summoning a rhyme from. From somewhere. From somewhere deep down inside. Breath.

[E]

Breath.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

Oh, I like that.

[F]

If Doug was singing it, then. Caress.

[E]

Oh, okay.

[F]

Oh, could it become caress?

[E]

Okay, I got two more words that I need rhymes for. Okay.

[F]

All right.

[D]

Throw them at me. Yes, yes, yes.

[E]

I love this word.

[F]

Gail. Gal.

[D]

Oh, okay, let me see.

[C]

Foul.

[D]

No, no. You want to say nice things about them. Okay.

[C]

Growl.

[D]

You know, maybe some sort of, like, you know.

[I]

Howl.

[D]

Oh, you make. They bring up such, you know, howl.

[E]

Is a good one.

[D]

Primal instincts.

[C]

Howl.

[E]

I like that one.

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

That's got a lot of potential with that one.

[D]

Okay. Your best friend, you know, they're your pal.

[E]

Yeah, yeah. Okay, so last one.

[F]

Okay.

[E]

It's not my favorite color, but it's obviously her favorite color. Black. Yes.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[F]

Attack.

[D]

That's vac. You know, who's the brother? His name is Zach. We've got you. You want to go to the sack, you know, like, for the sexy times.

[E]

I don't want to get crass with this one.

[D]

I. I am racking my brain. You know, you want to shoot some fools, you pull out the Mac, you know? Oh, they have hooves. You know, their. Their hooves go click clack.

[G]

And your wife has hooves, doesn't she?

[E]

She does have hooves.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

You know, baby got back, you know? I don't know. Don't. Don't cut her him some slack, you know?

[E]

I like back. Yeah, I like that one. That one's black. That one's got. We should write a song about that.

[D]

Yeah.

[G]

Oh.

[D]

Track.

[E]

Oh, track's another.

[F]

Good one's a good one.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Okay. Okay, I got my words. I'm gonna go finish. I'm working on these choruses and I got a little bit of melody. But I need. I need to come up with the use these words that you gave me. So let's come back to me and I'm gonna show you tov what I come up with. Okay?

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Okay. I think while now he does that Tov, you may have said you wanted to do something else as well. Was there something else on your mind?

[D]

You know, I wanted to just go check in on the privates who were all setting up the officers and maybe, you know, sit by the sleeping Steel Eye and just give him a visit, you know?

[C]

Okay.

[D]

I just, I. I've grown so fond of Steel Eyes. Is he so slumbering? Yes.

[C]

Yeah. You walk back into HQ and they're all still asleep on the shag with nice fluffy pillows now. And DLI is laying there asleep on the pillow, smiling. You've never seen him smile before. It's weird that when he's asleep now he's smiling.

[A]

It's very off putting.

[D]

Oh, look at the little baby slumbering away with his organic body. Body parts needing rest and restoration. How sweet.

[A]

What an interesting way to say that.

[D]

I hold his hand and I say, sergeant Steel Eye, you have such nice skin.

[C]

Wow.

[D]

How have you been? I just wanted to tell you, regale you about all of the fun adventures I've been on in the name of the mortalion. And you know, I. I also just. I. I have a confession to make. I told the rest of the team, but I consider you part of the team. But I. Wait, I am actually a thaumotech. And you just seem so receptive to things right now. You're not screaming at me like usual. But yes, I. I do have a robot body under this visage. And I just wanted to tell you.

[A]

Steel Eye pops open.

[C]

You ever watch Rushmore? I think when you think of when Max Fisher goes to the hospital to see like the headmaster of the school, he had a stroke. It's like he hasn't spoken for days and. And then Max Fisher walks in. He just like opens his eyes like. What do you want?

[F]

I love that movie.

[C]

Yeah, he's a very quietly a yell, mumbling in his sleep.

[D]

Oh, what's that? What's that, Sergeant?

[E]

Still life.

[D]

What do you have to say to me?

[G]

Oh, he's dreaming.

[C]

Captain grumbles like a loud. Captain grumbles. Yeah.

[D]

Oh, that's nice. Sergeant Steel Eye. Yes, yes. Yeah. I don't know. I just wanted to, I just wanted to keep certain. Sergeant Steel, I busy. I just wanted to visit my old friend.

[C]

If he was awake, he would say thank you. Oh, he would scream thank you.

[D]

Oh, that's nice.

[C]

Okay, make me a medicine check toll.

[D]

Okay, it's a 14. Is this where I find out he is medically dead now?

[C]

You, you know, as you're, you're, you're stroking his cheek and tell confessing your thaumatech origins to him, do you think that he and the rest of the officers who were unconscious here will probably wake up tomorrow in the morning?

[A]

Okay, that's a good sleep for them.

[D]

Yes, that's a very good sleep. You. Oh, well, you wake up and you yell at all of those privates and you have a good time. Keep that blood pressure down though. Okay, now give him a little kiss on the forehead.

[C]

There it is.

[D]

Originally I wanted to train and I wanted to use like my, my spider silk leggings that I got in the cave, but I really just wanted to visit with Steel Eye, you know.

[C]

No, I think it's good. It's a, it's a nice bonding moment.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

As you're stroking Steel Eyes cheek now, the privates are still coming in and out of the, the war Room here. Now they've moved beyond giving the pillows to the officers. They're now redoing the wallpaper. I believe was one of the other instructions then. Yeah, they're tearing the old wallpaper off and plastering up the wallpaper with glue.

[F]

Good.

[D]

Yes. Don't forget it's tie dye. Make sure it's, it's, it's perfect to match the shag carpets and the lava lamps and the disco ball balls.

[C]

Oh, yes, sir. You have impeccable taste.

[E]

Yes.

[C]

In, in wallpaper, sir.

[D]

And the water bed goes over there. Yes.

[C]

It's funny how those went away.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay. Yes. Yes, sir. Waterbed, Got it. We'll, we'll requisition that right away.

[F]

Good.

[D]

Okay. And then, you know those busts from past generals and things like that? I want to paint them. Yes.

[C]

Okay, you want to paint them or you want us to paint them, sir?

[D]

I want you to paint them. This has become art class. I want you to express yourselves, okay?

[C]

Yes, sir.

[D]

So use all sorts of colors and different palettes, you know, I want you to think of the song Party man from the Batman film, you know, by Prince?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Have fun with it. Express yourself.

[A]

Express yourself.

[C]

Okay. And this was officially sanctioned by the higher ups, too, sir.

[D]

Yeah, sure, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Okay. Right away on it.

[D]

Now, if you excuse me, I think my friend Natty has a fire song to sing. Sing to me.

[C]

Okay, the privates run out of the war room to go look for pink.

[E]

Okay, hold on. I just need to get my key.

[D]

What are you unlocking music?

[E]

I'm actually playing a note on piano.

[F]

Just a second.

[H]

Oh.

[D]

Oh, Micah.

[A]

John's coming for your job.

[C]

Oh, watch out.

[D]

Big brothers on the hunt for your job.

[E]

I'm taking this assignment seriously, okay.

[C]

Yeah, apparently.

[F]

Okay.

[E]

So nervous. So nervous.

[H]

Breathe.

[D]

Just breathe with your organic lungs. Yes. Just in and out with the air.

[E]

Okay, the title of the song. You wanna know the title?

[C]

Of course.

[F]

Yes.

[E]

Is Dancing with Death.

[D]

Ooh, that's a very lovely title.

[E]

Here's how it goes. Dancing with death. She's my sugar sweet bride. She fills me with love I feel like I've died. When the reaper comes a calling Honey, don't hold your breath. It's a party in the graveyard when you're dancing with dad and then there's one more and then a little bit more and then we go. Oh, my silent lady Steed, she's a beautiful gal. Clippity clop, clippity clop. Her sight makes me howl when the midnight bell rings Darling, don't you look back. You'll be laughing in the afterlife with my lady in black.

[G]

Wow.

[D]

I don't know how this is happening, because this is not my real skin, but I have these goosebumps now. What is this feeling?

[C]

That's amazing. That was really good.

[F]

There you go.

[D]

Genuinely goosebumps.

[A]

Yeah. Doug is a standing ovation.

[C]

If you don't have one.

[E]

Good. I'll. I'll take one.

[F]

That was good.

[D]

That was. It's very good, Micah.

[E]

That's a. That's a gcdc. No G, C, D, G progression. There you go.

[G]

I mean, it's no. Gum, gum, gum, gum. Here comes the sunshine.

[C]

I don't know what you're talking about, Doug.

[D]

That was deeply moving, Doug.

[C]

You know, you're working on your invention, you know, really focusing on it, looking at it, trying to piece together all of these spare parts that you found. And as you're doing that, you have to blink a couple times because you see a face slowly materializing and appearing on top of your invention. Looking back at you, the face appears to be half metal mask and half obscured with a void of stars and a body of clouds. And then, as you're looking at it, the face begins to almost, like, emerge from the invention and begins standing up. And then there's a person standing before you. You look around, and you're no longer in the workshop. You're in a room with a reflective floor almost like glass. The ceiling made of starry constellations constantly shifting. Small puffs of clouds slowly circle the room. It's almost like the clouds are granting you visions of future technologies. Whoa. What kind of future technology do you think Doug might see in those clouds?

[A]

I don't even know if he'd be able to, like, grasp the concept of future technologies, because if it hasn't been invented yet, I imagine it. It's maybe ways to communicate with the gods or even, like, people who have passed or, like, see through different, like, dimensions or realms or anything like that. I think that's something he envisions being something he would like to have.

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

You know that's what they say about technology, right? Like, advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And it's, you know, it's just, like, really eye opening for you. And the figure before you speaks.

[J]

Hello, you. How are you doing? What's this you're working on?

[G]

It's just an invention for a contest. Who are you?

[J]

Oh, I'm the Veiled Eye. I love inventions. Why don't you tell me more about it?

[G]

First of all, it's a pleasure to meet you, oh, great and powerful Veiled Eye.

[H]

Oh.

[J]

What's your name?

[G]

I'm Doug Boone.

[J]

Doug Boon. Nice to meet you, Doug.

[G]

Nice to meet you. I'm just working on a little adventure for a contest, but it's still, you know, it's a work in progress, so I'm kind of a little embarrassed if you're looking at it right now.

[J]

Oh, it seems impressive. Does this help locate creatures?

[G]

It does, I guess. You are the Veiled Eye, so you would know.

[J]

Oh, yes. It seems like fine quality craftsmanship. You should be very proud of. Of this progress, Doug.

[G]

No, I don't say this lightly, but I think I could die happy right now.

[J]

It's not your time, Doug. You have to bring me your invention in person.

[G]

This one?

[J]

Yes. I need you to finish it and present it to me.

[G]

Are you judging the contest? That's a little weird.

[J]

I don't know about any contest, but I think this invention has great potential. Why don't you come to Mido? Canyon and bring me this device so I can ascertain its capabilities.

[G]

Meo Canyon. But we're gonna make our way to the Boiling bluffs. Are you still gonna be there for a hot second?

[J]

I think I'm always there.

[G]

Oh, wow. That's beautiful.

[J]

Are there any other inventions you're working on that you could show me?

[G]

I mean, I. I'd be glad to start on something for you. What do you need?

[J]

Oh, I love all inventions.

[G]

Oh. I mean, yeah, he is my prized possession, but I do have a. A little steel defender named Gambot. He helps protect me and my friends.

[J]

Oh, isn't he adorable?

[C]

The villi reaches out and, like, pats Gambot on the top of the head.

[A]

Does anything happen to Gambot?

[C]

Doesn't seem like it. Gambot's head spins around.

[E]

Gambot is ev.

[A]

Nerds.

[J]

I sense you have something in your heart waiting to be made, Doug.

[G]

I guess I just don't feel as inspired lately. Some of my inventions in the past have. Have caused so much pain, and I guess I'm just afraid.

[J]

Well, the past is just that. It's time to move forward and learn and grow. I have faith in you, Doug Boone, that you'll be able to do whatever.

[D]

You set your mind to.

[G]

You want to get me, like, a little clue or a little hint, maybe?

[E]

Map? Yeah.

[J]

Wait, what was your name again?

[E]

Oh, no.

[C]

Ooh. Find out what happens and what's going on with the veiled eye in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

[D]

You're not threatening our lives at the end of this episode.

[A]

This is great. On the edge of a cliff about to fall.

[G]

Or anything.

[I]

Everywhere.

[C]

New episodes of Tales from the Stingy Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever you stream podcasts and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want to listen to the show 48 hours early and ad free? You can support us by becoming a patron@stinky dragonpod.com or join as a member on Beacon TV. Both give you early ad free access and a member only discord for each platform. Looking for even more stinky content and community perks, Our Patreon offers exclusive bonus shows, behind the scenes content access to the Sticky Dragon Discord members only, live streams, stinky community events and potentially a shout out on the show. Just like Nova. Brett Lemonbeetle0321 Jasperwood121 Ghost toast. I like that Ghost toast. And Stowess would like to give a birthday shout out to Dahlia Bober. November 12th became a big stinker welcome. Dahlia these patrons directly support the show. Get ad free episodes access to our Patron only Discord Server bonus content like Second Wind and Behind the Screen and other stinky perks works Some of our friends voiced NPCs in this episode, and listeners who interacted with us on the Steam dragon. Discord had NPCs named after them, like the Recruit voiced by Ben Ernst at HalcyonBan. The veiled eye voiced by Andre Ouelette Andre Krat Renesus named after Renee de Jesus voiced by James Willems and Zach Anner Ames Willems and Zack Anner from Answer for it podcast. You can actually follow them at Answer for It show and here's a little clip from Answer for It is a freewheeling trivia podcast with an emphasis on the trivial.

[A]

It's hosted by me, Funhouse's Elise Willems.

[C]

I ask the questions and we answer them.

[D]

And when we don't have the answers.

[F]

We just make one up.

[C]

When you're as dumb as we are, it has to be an improv podcast.

[D]

I'm James Willems.

[C]

You may know me from YouTube or the shirtless photos I post online, which.

[E]

By default makes me the most qualified.

[F]

To answer any health science questions you may have.

[C]

I'm AJ Locasio.

[D]

I'm a voice actor with roles in.

[E]

X Men 97, Voltron, Legendary Defender, and.

[C]

Most of my contributions to the podcast are funny voices. And I'm Zach Anner. And while I may be both a high school and college dropout, I do.

[I]

Have something called a doctorate from Walt Disney World.

[C]

Basically, we riff on Elise's questions, going.

[F]

On tangents and tumbling down weird comedic rabbit holes. Kind of like this trailer.

[E]

New episodes of the Answer for it.

[D]

Podcast are available every Tuesday.

[C]

Come for the questions, leave for the answers. We love those guys and their show. They've been longtime friends to us. So please check out Answer for It Show. Can't recommend them enough. This week's error question was submitted by RPG Freaky and Pisky Business and Hub. This episode of Tales when the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst. Written, edited, composed by Michael Reisinger with additional editing with work by Katherine Arnold. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Sticky Dragons.

[D]

As a Raider scavenging a derelict world.

[C]

You settle into an underground settlement.

[D]

But now you must return to the surface where arc machines roam. If you're brave enough, who knows what you might find. Arc Raiders, a multiplayer extraction adventure video game.

[C]

Buy now for PlayStation 5, Xbox Series.

[D]

X and S and PC rated T.

[C]

For Teen Mint is still $15 a.

[F]

Month for premium wireless. And if you haven't made the switch yet, here are 15 reasons why you should 1.

[C]

It's $15 a month. 2.

[F]

Seriously, it's $15 a month month.

[I]

3.

[C]

No big contract.

[G]

4.

[C]

I use it. 5. My mom uses it.

[D]

Are you playing me off?

[F]

That's what's happening, right?

[C]

Okay, give it a try at Mintmobile.

[A]

Com Switch Upfront payment of $45 per three month plan $15 per month equivalent required. New customer offer first three months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. Cmintmobile.

[C]

Com.