C03 - Ep. 33 - From On Hyra - Seventh Inning Dretch

Summary

Tales from the Stinky Dragon

Episode: C03 - Ep. 33 - "From On Hyra - Seventh Inning Dretch"

Release Date: December 24, 2025
Host/Dungeon Master: Gustavo "Gus" Sorola
Players: John Risinger (Natty Wonder), Blaine Gibson (Tolv), Barbara Dunkelman (Doug Boone), Chris (Gunther)

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Episode Overview

This episode picks up with the adventurers deep in the musty mines of Sora Sump hot on the trail of the pesky dretches who recently made off with the armor and body parts of Thaumatek brothers Neo and Teo. After a warmup of banter and table talk, the B Team delves into both character and player shenanigans, culminating in a wild and deadly battle at the center of a dretch ritual. Comedic mishaps abound, but the stakes are amped up with a demonic ritual threatening to bring something monstrous to life. As always, the team's chemistry, chaotic playstyle, and Gus's wry DMing deliver a fast-paced, joke-heavy, but narratively tight episode.

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Key Discussion Points & Adventuring Moments

1. Catch-Up and Question of the Week (03:00–09:00)

• Gus asks: "If you could master one skill, what would it be and why?" (from listener Doug Boone).
• The players answer in-character, seamlessly blending personal desires with character quirks:
  • Natty (John Risinger): Wishes for "magical control of time" to undo item sacrifices. Bonus goal: "To not be gaslit by the DM." (04:45)
    • Gus riffs: "Funny that Natty says the most important thing in her inventory is the autoharp and not Gigi..." (04:47)
  • Tolv (Blaine): Dreams of performance art mastery—a "barbarian bard" like "Dave Bautista or The Rock," referencing Jesse Ventura hilariously. (05:37)
  • Doug (Barbara): Wants to master a musical instrument, laments she's "all butterfingers" with music but great with tools. (07:55)
  • Gunther (Chris): Comedy answer: "Tongue rope" (jump-roping with your tongue). The group riffs, imagining the logistics and horrors. (10:11)

2. Investigation and the Dretches' Trap (11:35–14:25)

• The team investigates an overturned minecart; Doug spies tools and metal bits, but in a surprise attack, three armored dretches leap out.
• Initiative is rolled; Natty flies up to gain advantage and unleashes her "mote of hell," a devastating area spell (14:43).
• Natty’s spell ends up wiping out the dretches almost before anyone else can act.
  • "Did I one-shot these guys?" - Natty (24:49)
  • Gus affirms, "Yeah, pretty much."
• Jokes about "collection missions" and pieces of Thaumatek armor kicked off (27:00, 31:13).

3. Navigating the Dungeon & Barbarian Roleplay (31:54–36:01)

• Doug discovers more Thaumatek pieces, with Survival and Intelligence checks revealing the party is on the right trail.
• Tolv gets a chance to use the group’s unique dungeon-maze "river" mechanic, cleverly helping the party avoid a trap by choosing the path (33:16).
• Banter about how the show is essentially "getting paid for being idiots," with references to Blaine's "science as a hobby" and “my job is beach.” (34:15, 34:17)

4. Stumbling Into the Ritual Chamber (36:01–39:04)

• The party spies a shadowy figure “with a glint of metal,” approaching a fire-lit chamber with an infernal pool, where a "Druidic Dretch" conducts a resurrection ritual.
• Ominous dialogue between the Dretch druid and a voice in the fire reveals imminent plans to "storm the gates" with the help of a mysterious gemstone and hunting the "Pathfinder."
  • Notable quote:
    • "Let the ritual of resurrection begin." – Druidic Dretch/NPC (38:18)
    • Players, panicked, joke: "Sorry, wrong room—we were looking for the bathroom." (38:18)

5. Epic Combat: Interrupting the Ritual (39:04–84:03)

Room & Ritual Mechanics

• The players enter a chamber reeking of rot and sewage, containing a demonic-horned pool and many dretches (eight plus the druid).
• Gus starts a countdown mechanic for the ritual, emphasizing time pressure.

Highlights:

• Gunther uses Misty Step to bypass dretches and attack the druid, disarms him of his rod (41:00–43:00).
  • "Who taught you this lesson?" – Gus;
    "Renaissance... [long pause]" – Chris (89:02–89:55, outtake)
• Doug and Gambot face off with a mustachioed dretch; Gambot lands a crotch-level "force empowered rend."
  • "Gambot hits him in the jaw and he becomes stiff as a board and falls over backwards." (48:07)
• Druidic Dretch fires off a massive fireball, but all party members dodge, taking only half damage.
  • "You take 12 points of fire damage... It would have been 25, but I rounded down for you. I'm a kind, giving DM." – Gus (54:47)
• Tolv uses "Stormstrike" from his Gavel of Gaelstrom to knock enemies prone and enrage them, causing mayhem.
  • "Enraged creatures lose the ability to distinguish friend from foe regarding all creatures it sees as enemies." (57:06)
• Natty floats Magneto-style, blaster blazing, nearly downs the druid single-handed.
• The ritual pool and strange horn become key: Doug attempts to retrieve the demonic horn, nearly pulls a horrifying head from the stew of body parts.
  • "Doug will immediately drop it back into the water. Oh god. Never mind. Crude oil liquid." (74:21)
• The druid dies—then falls into the boiling pool, only to horror-movie-climb back out:
  • "Ready for more?" – Druidic Dretch, grinning (65:23)

6. The Final Push and Cliffhanger (83:09–86:25)

• With the druid distracted, Tolv strikes, grabs the rod just before it rolls into the pool, and survives swarming dretches thanks to good rolls.
• A hidden Thaumatek head is spotted amid rubble—a key plot item revealed for next time.
• Gus: "Find out what it is on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon!"

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On gaslighting and party banter:
  • "I'd like to master the skill of not being gaslit by our dungeon master." – Natty (05:06)
  • "And I'd like to master the skill of gaslighting." – Doug (05:14)
• Gunther's desperate attempts at backflips and tongue rope:
  • "Tongue rope. ... Where do you store it?... In my mouth. ... The world's worst Fruit Roll-Up." (10:11–11:17)
• Gambot crits:
  • "I'll shoot the mustachioed drench." – Doug
  • "Gambot hits him in the jaw and he becomes stiff as a board and falls over backwards, unmoving on the ground." (47:50)
• On collection quests:
  • "Just write 'pieces.' Then over your head the numbers '218' appear." – Gus (31:13)
  • "Oh man, we're gonna murder a lot of dretches." (31:19)
• Ritual Chamber Chaos:
  • "Let the ritual of resurrection begin." – Druidic Dretch (38:18)
  • "Sorry, wrong room. We were looking for the bathroom." – Party, frantically (38:18)
• Meta-moments:
  • "It's so good we figured out a way to make a living being idiots, because we're so good at it, we might as well get paid." – Blaine (34:09)
• Combat mechanics, and character roleplay merging:
  • "With a strike of your warhammer, a blustery gale incites a howling rage into all enemies and allies within a 10-foot radius. All creatures within range must take a DC 14 charisma saving throw..." – Tolv reading new ability (57:06)
• On the mustachioed dretch’s demise:
  • "He worked hard on that." – Barbara, defending Gambot's kill (79:44)
• Horror movie callback:
  • "A hand reaches out from the pool and grasps onto the edge of the ground... the Druidic dretch... pulls itself up out of the pool." (65:01)

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Important Timestamps & Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-------------|---------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:00–09:00 | Warmup, "If you could master any skill..." table talk | | 11:35–14:25 | Minecart investigation, dretches attack | | 14:43–24:49 | Natty wipes out dretches with spell, aftermath banter | | 31:54–34:09 | Navigating the maze, skill checks and party banter | | 36:01–39:04 | Entering the ritual chamber; ritual scene | | 39:04–83:09 | Grand combat: Gunther’s heroics, Doug’s discoveries, Natty’s blasts, Tolv’s rage | | 74:21 | Doug discovers the horn is attached to something monstrous | | 83:09–86:25 | Climax: Druid defeated, rod saved from the brink, cliffhanger | | 65:01 | Horror moment: druidic dretch crawls from the pit | | 89:02–89:55 | Outtake: Chris cannot remember his mentor's name |

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Tone & Style

The tone remains gleefully irreverent, self-aware, and full of affectionate roasting among cast and DM. Table talk often merges seamlessly into character interaction, and jokes ("neopets" for Neo's body parts, "beach is my job," tongue-rope jump roping) are interspersed with genuine tension from the combat and ticking ritual. Gus’s DMing is dry, fair, often supportive of player antics despite the chaos.

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Summary for New Listeners

In this episode, the B Team continues their quest for stolen Thaumatek armor and gets drawn into a classic D&D dungeon crawl full of comedic asides, inventive roleplay, and big, dangerous set pieces. After solving a few puzzles and skillfully dispatching minor foes, they unwittingly interrupt a demonic resurrection ritual presided over by a grotesque Druidic Dretch.

Despite waves of dretches, gnarly spell effects, and the pressure of a ticking ritual, the team's blending of genuine teamwork and pure clownery help them survive. They defeat the Druid, recover a mysterious rod—with Tolv snatching it from the brink of doom—and make a plot-relevant discovery regarding their Thaumatek friend’s missing head. The episode closes on a cliffhanger, primed for the next wild installment.

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For Next Time

• What is the meaning of the demonic horn and the head?
• Will the ritual's countdown complete, and what will happen if it does?
• Will Doug, Tolv, Natty, and Gunther keep up their lucky streak of dice rolls and creative mayhem?

Stay Stinky!

Transcript

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Afternoon, all you ancient titans stomp or swim into the stinky dragon and sip on our latest libation and nectar of the gods child. It's a mixture of a torrent of telepathy tested tap water, a brew of booming battle born tea leaves, a sprinkling of primordial powdered sugar, a lashing of painfully puckered lemonade. And finally topped with a sprig of stunning mint and a slice of reality altering orange. One sip of this celestial sipper and you'll have advantage on never being too far out of reach. Previously, our adventurers Doug and Munther dove down a dank drain. But their deliberate detour delivered a dilemma at a drainage divide. The the desired metallic musk was smelt to the left. Yet a suspicious shout sounded from the right. B team befriended the brothers of Tolve, Teo and Neo. They were attacked by dreadful dretches who thieved their Thaumatek bodies, heads and armor. So B Team braved the musty minds of Sora Sump in search of the dretches den. But have they bitten off more than they can chew? Grab a guzzler and let's get back to this gassy cause.

[A]

Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I'm your dungeon master, Gustavo Cerola, and I'm hitting our four players with an arrow.

[D]

Fair chipping. That's Natty shooting it out of the sky with her. With her Eldritch blasts.

[A]

Classic Natty. All right, this week's question is, if you could master one skill, which would you pick and why? And that's submitted by Doug Boone. All right, everyone, go ahead and roll.

[B]

That's my question.

[A]

Yeah, Doug, it is. Everyone go and roll a D. 21.

[D]

8, 6, 17.

[A]

So, 17, 8, 6, 1.

[D]

Shout out to our Patreon member, Doug Boone. Love. Love, Doug Boone.

[A]

I don't remember who the people are because I'm a big nerd. All I remember are numbers. All right, so, Mr. 17, you're up first.

[D]

Hello, I'm Mr. 17. No, I'm 17. Mr. 17's my father. Hi, I'm John Risinger, and I play Natty Wonder, who is a drow, warlock, mother, drag queen, and saint. Just a nice gal. If I was able to master one skill, I would say, I mean, there's a lot of skills that I'd like to master. I love getting better at stuff. But top of my mind right now, as far as importance is, I would master the skill of the magical control of time so that I can cast a spell to go back in time to move my auto harp into a different slot in my inventory so that when that dadgum, you know, group of folks who I'm part of their cult now asked me to sacrifice something, it wouldn't have been maybe the most important thing in my inventory. You could also write a song about it and, you know.

[C]

No, but they can't write a song because they don't have their auto.

[D]

Autoharp. Oh.

[A]

So, yeah, it's funny that. That Natty says the most important thing in her inventory is the autoharp and not Gigi. Interesting.

[D]

He's not in my inventory.

[A]

What are you talking about, not in your inventory?

[D]

What would he be in my inventory?

[A]

You lost Gigi.

[C]

He's in my heart.

[D]

Where's Gigi? In my inventory. Well, then don't be making up lies and then gaslighting me like I. Like I'm saying something crazy.

[A]

All right. It's part of.

[D]

All right. I want to change My answer? I'd like to master the skill of not being gaslit by our dungeon master.

[B]

And I'd like to master the skill of gaslighting.

[A]

All right, thank you, Natty. I promise I'll stop gaslighting you.

[B]

Yeah, you never said that.

[A]

What? All right, I believe we had eight. Next.

[D]

That's me. Hey, it's your good friend, Blaine Gibson. Yoo hoo.

[A]

It's me. To. What?

[D]

No. Someone doesn't agree with that. No.

[B]

No.

[D]

Well, no. And yoohoo. I play Tove, the male thaumaTech Barbarian, Level 6 Gustago Vago. If I had to master a skill, it would be the. The craft of performance art. You know, like acting. You know, I want to be like a bard. Like a barbarian bard. A barbarian Similar to, like a Dave Bautista or John Cena or Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

[A]

You know, I just.

[D]

I just want to act, you know, and unfortunately, I have this huge hulking body that makes me good for killing, so that makes me a barbarian.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

What's the name of the guy that. That played the President in Running Man? Wasn't that also, like a wrestler? The President and Running Man? Yeah, he had to then go and fight and be a gladiator in the Running man to fight. You're talking about Jesse Ventura. He wasn't the President, but he was a wrestler. Past. He was a past performer on the Running Man. Okay.

[A]

Yeah, he's the governor of Minnesota.

[D]

The baj. Dude, I love Jesse Ventura. Don't even get me started on Jesse Ventura. That guy's a nut. I'm just asking if I actually got that correct. Did I name the right muscle man? Yeah. Well, yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah, Good. I got one to bleed. I got one great example of a Bardbarian. Yeah, see, I'm interested in your culture, Blaine. Yeah. Do I multiclass? Is that what I got to do now?

[A]

Yeah, absolutely. Let's do it. Finally, one of you. I dare you.

[D]

All right, well, level us up, coward.

[B]

Watch him do it.

[A]

This episode brought to you by Coffee.

[D]

No, don't give us more levels, Gus. No, Chase me.

[A]

All right, thanks, Blaine. Next up, I believe, was Barbara with a six.

[B]

It was correct. Very good job, Gus. Inspiration die to you.

[D]

Gaslight him more.

[A]

I've already got one.

[B]

No, you don't.

[D]

He does.

[B]

No, you don't.

[A]

All right, get out of here.

[B]

Well, hello, everyone. I'm Barbara Dunkelman, professional gaslighter and also player of Doug Boone, the Artificer Bugbear. And you know, I actually have mastered quite a few skills. Not to brag or anything like that, but spent a lot of time, like, learning and building and doing a lot of things with my hands. But the one thing I don't know how to do, and I really. I just.

[C]

I'm all.

[B]

I just like butterfingers when I try to do it, is play a musical instrument. And I feel like, you know, if Doug maybe learned the guitar or the piano or something like that, he really impressed people around him. People aren't really as impressed with my intellectual abilities as much as, you know, they are with the arts. So I would like to maybe learn a musical instrument. Maybe Natty could help me with the her auto harp or something like that.

[D]

It's a bit of a sore spot, but. Oh, yeah. I mean, music is essentially like really fancy math with cool sounds.

[B]

You put it that way, I want to learn even more.

[D]

There you go. We can. We can make this happen. Absolutely. We could be a little duet. Can you give us a little diddy right now, bard Doug? Can you give us a little diddy right now, Doug? Sorry. That was my music.

[A]

That sounded like a song.

[D]

Yeah, that's. That's when someone's playing Mario Kart and gets off the track, but just keeps going and then gets on the track eventually.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

That's all, folks.

[C]

No, I love.

[B]

I love that. I'm Barbara, and I had a character named Bart who was a bard, and that was, like, designed on purpose to confuse people, and it did its job. Just now, after three campaigns, like, three.

[D]

Years later, it got me.

[C]

We just filmed Baldur's Gate 3 as the infinites. Yeah.

[D]

An hour ago.

[B]

Don't do Bart's voice. Give you a little ditty right now. Ding ding ding ding ding dong ding ding. See, I can't play it.

[D]

That sounded like Depeche Mode. Was that Don't Let Me Down Again or what's that song?

[A]

Never Let Me Down Again?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, no, I just. I just played some random tunes there.

[D]

Sounded like the little piano that they play at the Rugrats theme song. What is that, like a calliope or something?

[A]

So talented. No, that's. That's definitely some new wave action going on. I'm into it. I'll buy the record.

[B]

For sale now at store.stinkydragonpod.com as soon.

[A]

As we get the 12 beard back in stock, we're gonna have Doug's album on there. All right, thanks.

[B]

That's a promise.

[D]

That's a promise.

[A]

100% promise. All right. Thanks, Barbara. Next up with a one, I believe it's Christopher Yeah.

[C]

Hey, I'm Chris. I play Gunther, the level six male fighter. And a skill that I wish I could try. Tried so hard when I was younger. It's very challenging, is very impressive. When you do it, it is called tongue rope. And it is where you. You use your tongue and you spit it out and then you jump, jump, jump, jump, jump. And I always trip.

[D]

For the first time I imagined what it would be like to have like a eight foot long tongue. And the idea hurts to think about. Like imagine your tongue just like ah.

[B]

Where would it roll up into?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

What do you mean it. It's like a jump rope but with your tongue?

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Where do you store it?

[C]

In my mouth. It. Use it now to speak.

[B]

How do you have any room for anything else in your mouth when you got an eight foot long tongue rolled up in you?

[C]

Well, I can sometimes feed food.

[A]

Eat food.

[D]

Do you ever choke on your tongue?

[C]

Eat food. Fit food in my. In my mouth with the tongue.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Yeah. So I could try the jump. Listen, I'll show you how bad I am.

[D]

It's just licking everything in the room.

[B]

You also have teeth marks all over your tongue. Bite it a lot.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. It is a challenging skill. I wish I could do it because it is so impressive.

[D]

World's worst fruit. Roll up.

[B]

Oh. We'll see who masters their skill first.

[A]

Ready? Go. To be or not to be. All right. Thanks Gunther. Appreciate that.

[B]

Go take a look at the overturned minecart.

[A]

Yeah. What do you want to do? Like you want to look under it, see what it's covering or you want.

[B]

To, I assume without having to lift it. If it's something that's made of a few pieces, there's probably, probably cracks I could peek into to see if there's anything under it.

[A]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[B]

Without actually like releasing anything that might be under there.

[A]

Yeah. Make me an investigation check.

[B]

I have a plus four. That is a nine. So that's a 13.

[A]

13. Yeah. You go up and. Yeah, there's a, you know, a small hole punched in the side of the mine car, probably from years of use. And you know, you put your eye up to it and take a look inside and you see some tools. You see a hand drill and a pickaxe in there and what appear to be some various chunks of metal.

[B]

Oh, actually this stuff might be kind of useful.

[A]

And as you're looking at it and you turn to convey that to your party, the minecart gets overturned and three armored dredges jump out from under the.

[D]

Minecart farce monster card.

[A]

Yeah, holding up weapons and menacing you all. Everyone go and roll Initiative. Oh God. The dretches burst out from under the minecart. So everyone go ahead and roll initiative.

[B]

17.

[A]

8.

[D]

Dirty 2011.

[C]

My last one was like 18 was.

[D]

It was rest in peace.

[C]

18 is at the end of the last episode I rolled.

[D]

Yeah, well it's last episode. This is the. Now get with it, Gunther.

[A]

The dretches rolled a four, so they are last in Initiative.

[B]

Suckers. Suckers. They're down in the dredges.

[A]

All right, Natty, you see these three hideous creatures threatening your friend Doug. What do you want to do?

[D]

All right, so there's three of them and they are gathered up together because they were under that minecart.

[A]

Yeah, they were huddled under that minecart. So they're all pretty clustered together.

[D]

Okay, well first a little panache. Natty's gonna use her elemental gift of flight. Ooh, and what's so funny about that, Blaine Gibson? Because we're in a cave, you're just gonna go, yeah. I was gonna ask, how tall is the room we're in right now?

[A]

That is a great question. I'll reread the room description, which I probably should have done when we started. Here you are in a round cavern with an overturned minecart and there's child sized burrows dug throughout the room. And a giant centipede corpse that was blocking your path when you first came into the cavern here. So it's pretty big. It's a pretty big round cavernous room. Ballpark on height, let's say 20ft.

[D]

Yeah. So natty goes up to maximum height now. She has overwatch. And let's bring out Natty online. Natty online. Let's bring out oldie Goldie and cast a moat of hail.

[A]

Woo hoo.

[B]

Yee haw. We're then pirates when we need them.

[A]

Yar, let's not be doing that again. Oh man.

[B]

Literally.

[D]

As a reminder, I manifest a pocket of hell that is 15ft. It's a sphere. I imagine I could do that with getting all three of them in there and not Douglas. And they get blinded.

[A]

Yeah, okay.

[D]

Yeah, they do get blinded. And are blinded while they're still in it. And they also take some damage. A creature who starts their turn in this area takes 3D6 fire damage. A creature who ends their turn in that area must succeed in a wisdom saving throw. And then if they fail that they take more damage. And since they're blinded last time we did it, I think Gus, they had to like do A little roll to see if they could get out.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. But let's deal with this damage first, I think. Right?

[D]

Yeah. 3D6 is far.

[A]

Do they get a save or anything on that?

[D]

No, sir, sorry. Oh, they do it when they start their turn. You want to do it then? Yeah, since I could just do it now. Since we're talking to me, I'm gonna do it now. 5, 5, 3. 13. Have you considered a mote of heaven?

[B]

No.

[A]

So they only. It looks like they only save if they end their turn in there.

[D]

If they end their turn there, they do that wisdom saving throw. And then if they fail that, they take psych damage.

[A]

Right, but they don't get a save on the start of their turn.

[D]

No, they do not. They just take damage.

[A]

All right, well, that's yet another broken spell for Natty Wonder. All right, so, yeah, hold on to that for now. And at the start of their turn, they're gonna have a bad time.

[D]

Okay. And once again, Mr. Gigglesworth is going to approach the edge of hell and stand there waiting to try to nick somebody in the ankles if they come out.

[B]

I'm just standing by it going.

[A]

Yeah, I feel like it's like. It's like a dog at your front door when he hears someone outside who's coming home and, like, oh, it's like, all excited. Ready?

[D]

100%.

[B]

Tail wagging.

[D]

A hyperactive Pomeranian holding an axe.

[B]

What a cute baby.

[D]

Mm.

[A]

All right, you got anything else for us, Natty? Or is that it for you and Gigi?

[D]

Ah, that'll be it.

[B]

All right.

[D]

And he won't do any action, but Captain Grumbles will yell some stuff at those guys.

[A]

Make me a. Let's call it a wisdom check for Captain Grumbles.

[D]

Oh, no. This is the Wiz where we lose him. 4.

[A]

You don't know this, but a cold shiver runs down Captain Grumbles spine as he sees the motive hell manifest in front of him.

[D]

Cause he's a zombie. He's got.

[A]

Yeah, he doesn't know why, but something's not right with that thing.

[D]

Something in his past life.

[B]

Yeah, it sounds like he experienced it before.

[D]

Oh, yeah, I forgot. He was literally in it. I was thinking because he was dead. Oh, yeah.

[A]

He's born from this. Yeah, in a way.

[B]

Molded by it.

[A]

Douglas or Doug. Sorry, you're up.

[B]

Calling me by my government name.

[A]

Douglas Firboon.

[B]

So, Natty, cast Mode of hell around the three.

[D]

Yeah, probably not the thing I should have done at the top of combat so no one can see them wondering about that.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

So if y' all just want to, like, maybe take a. Like a little breather or, like, ready something. Well, you can. You can. You can take your time, decide where you want to stand in the room. You got it all the time.

[B]

What happens if you like if I wanted to cast fire bolt into the mote of hell because I could see where the moat is, I assume.

[A]

All right, it's not area of effect, so it says you hurl a moat of fire at a creature or object within range, and the range is 120ft, so that's not a problem. Make a range spell attack against the target. On a hit, the character takes damage. So I think in this case, the way I would work this is you would make your range spell attack, but you would do so at disadvantage because you can't actually see them. So that's. That's the way it would probably work.

[B]

Okay, well, I'm going to hold off on that then. And instead I'm going to cast guidance on. Am I close enough to touch Gunther?

[A]

Yeah, you make that happen.

[B]

Okay, I'm going to cast guidance on.

[D]

Gunther, which means D4.

[B]

Add a D4. Oh, it's ability checks, though. I always forget.

[D]

It's still good if they get attacked.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you never know, Gunther might want to do a backflip or something cool. Something groundbreaking that we've never seen in our campaign before.

[D]

That sounds sick. That sounds dope. That sounds cool. Okay, Barrel roll.

[A]

There it is.

[B]

And then I'll also bring out Gambot and just, like, pop out in front of me as some additional protection.

[A]

All right, that's it for Doug. Next up, we got Gunther.

[C]

Gunther wants to do a defensive backflip.

[A]

Oh, he was ready.

[B]

Defensive backflip.

[A]

Yeah, I have in mind what that is. Can you describe that for us, though, just to see. See if we're on the same page?

[C]

Yeah. Okay. Defensive backflip, obviously. It's where pulls out a sword and shield, does a backflip and so that he lands shield facing the enemy, and then readies an attack for whenever they come out. Okay, can we roll for.

[A]

Yeah, why don't you go ahead and make. What would you call that? Acrobatics. Yeah, make that an acrobatics. Check for be gunther.

[C]

Putata.

[A]

A1.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

But add your D4.

[C]

So it's A1 plus 8 plus A9. 11 with everything.

[A]

Yeah. The spirit of Kyborg must be here somehow with that one. But yeah, with an 11.

[D]

Feel him.

[A]

Yeah, with an 11. You don't manage. You manage to at least land on your feet. It's not the most graceful thing. I think it's like the thing you do when you're a little kid and you do something like you jump and you think it's really far and really cool, but from an outside perspective, it's like whatever. It's like you just kind of jump and do a backflip and land unsteadily on your feet.

[D]

He thought he did a backflip, but all he did was twirl around in place.

[A]

I love it.

[D]

Like that kind of thing, right? He kind of like leaned to the right and thought he did it, but all he did was like just kind of turn himself around.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[C]

I'm ready.

[B]

Sounds about right.

[A]

Defense.

[C]

And that's it.

[A]

Oh, that's it.

[C]

Yeah. Waiting for them. I'm readying to attack as they emerge.

[A]

Okay. Okay, Tolf, what do you want to do? Gunther is showing off some serious skills over there.

[D]

Yoo hoo. Yeah, I mean, I feel like we got this thoroughly covered, so why not play around a little, you know, let's play in this space. So I want to walk up to the edge of the mode of hell. And you know, earlier I said I wanted to become an actor. Okay, so I'm going to try that now. I'm going to lay prone on the ground, close my eyes, stick my tongue up, and then I'm going to make them believe through acting that I am dead. And when they come out, I'll kill them. Thoughts? Thoughts, everybody? No, I love it. It's a faint. Yes, Like F, E, I, N, T. Oh, I thought like, like a. Good heavens, what a great performance.

[A]

Tolv, you deserve the Oscar.

[D]

Okay, well, anyways, that's what I do.

[A]

And then I hold my attack.

[D]

Were you expecting applause or something? Yes. This is my acceptance speech. I'd like to thank Z Academy.

[A]

What's your motivation, Cole?

[D]

Oh, oh, oh, let me see. I'm wearing the dead skin of my. I'm bearing a corpse. Now I must, I must embrace the corpse. Okay. I must, I must believe that I am dead man.

[A]

Wake up, dead man.

[B]

Beautiful.

[D]

But for like a little show for my friends, you know, based on the faint thing, I will go.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

I love it.

[A]

All right. Is that it for you to. Yeah, Tolve, give me a performance check to see how effective this is and whether or not you'll be considered for your performance by the Academy. My first break.

[D]

That is a. That's not bad. That is a six. I think I nailed it, guys.

[B]

Not Good, though.

[D]

No.

[A]

Benedict Cumberbatch doesn't have anything to worry about next year at the. At the Academy Awards. He'll be fine, thanks to. You're welcome. And now with that, I believe it's time for some hell yeah.

[D]

Now they take 13 points of fire damage.

[B]

If only there was a fire bolt in there, too.

[A]

Everyone's been kind of waiting and staying at the edge of this mode of hell. But the moat finally manifests itself with a blast of brimstone and heat radiating out, incinerating everything, everything inside for 13 points of damage. And what happens? It doesn't just go off, right? Like, the moat stays there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. The moat activates and nothing steps out of it.

[B]

Are they immediately just dead?

[A]

I don't know.

[D]

Well, I can ask. Should I be rolling for a. For a wisdom check and psychic damage?

[A]

Let's roll it.

[D]

You have to roll for a wisdom check.

[A]

I said let's.

[D]

Then roll. A creature ends their turn in that error and must succeed on a wisdom saving throw.

[A]

I rolled a one.

[D]

Rolled a one.

[B]

Is that a success?

[D]

Or to opens one eye and says, are they. Are they still in there? Are they coming out?

[B]

They're still trying to do his backflip.

[D]

Hold on.

[B]

Hold on.

[A]

They failed.

[D]

That was a roll for all of them.

[A]

Yeah, let's do them all as a group. There's only three.

[D]

Okay. 3D6. Psychic damage. As the voices of the damned crowd their minds.

[A]

Kiki behavior.

[D]

You know, sometimes I listen to this podcast and something scary happens in my ear and it freaks me out. Irl. That's gonna be that moment for everybody. Way to go, Chris. You did it.

[C]

All right.

[D]

That's good.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

14 points. Psychic damage.

[A]

Yeah. Still no motion. Nothing emerges from hell.

[C]

Shall I go ahead and look for them?

[D]

Nadi, how long until the moat wears off? Is it like an hour or two? I can stay still. I'm a good actor.

[C]

Watch.

[D]

It's all dependent upon my concentration. I could drop it if you think there might be a mystery afoot. If we take Natty out of her concentration, I can just end my concentration. Y' all just need to talk to each other. Concentrate on my performance.

[B]

I know how you could concentrate on anything while Tolva's talking to you.

[D]

To be honest, acting Natty will drop her concentration. Mode of hell's gone.

[A]

Right. As you drop your concentration, a foot steps out of the mode of hell. Not attached to anything. Just a foot.

[D]

Oh, no. Is it a hairy green dredge foot?

[A]

It's a. Yeah, A disgusting hairy green pustule. Filled foot and you drop your MO to hell and you see what used to be three armored dretches lying in a pile in the middle.

[D]

Did I one shot these guys?

[A]

Yeah, pretty much.

[D]

Tolst admires them. Oh, they're good.

[C]

They're.

[B]

I think they were just too scared of Giggy.

[C]

They're better than you do. They beat. Wow. My. I'm sorry. I have to vote for them for the best performance.

[D]

Speaking of Giggy. Giggy does start chewing on that one piece of foot. He needed something. He needed something like, you know, like. Like a little dachshund who's got a toy and just like, just like, shakes it around.

[B]

They're like a squeak in there.

[C]

Yeah. Look around and see if there's anything remains of them worthwhile.

[D]

It's in Kiki's mouth.

[A]

Yeah. Make an investigation check.

[C]

I do an investigative backflip.

[B]

Let us eat.

[D]

My God. Gunther. How'd that go? What was that?

[C]

Roll is a two.

[D]

Cool. I feel right on fire. Oh, I feel him in this room.

[C]

Well, that was just for the investigation, but the backflip I didn't do.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Do you want me to do a backflip?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's do it.

[B]

Here it comes.

[C]

12.

[D]

Not bad.

[C]

Oh, I rolled a four. I have an eight. To acrobatics.

[B]

Yeah, that's real bad.

[A]

Yeah, Once again, it's like, it's. It's a little better, but you're still just doing that thing where you close your eyes, jump in place, and spin around as opposed to actually doing a flip. You're turning on the wrong axis, but you think you're doing great. And you. You do your investigative backflip and turn to face the remains of the armored dretches. And there's not much left other than those bluish gray metallic pieces that they had covering them.

[D]

Oh, that be pieces of like the thaumatech.

[C]

Yeah. Is that similar to the. The metal that we found in the natty's new church?

[A]

Yes. It looks nearly identical.

[D]

Can we.

[C]

Can.

[D]

I mean, I'm sure that this is going to be a mystery that unravels throughout the episode, but. Yeah. Is this Neo's parts? Because he was missing his armor. It's the same color, right? He's missing his body.

[A]

Yeah, he.

[D]

Oh, wait, no, one of them. He. Yeah, okay. Yeah, he was missing, like, his outer missing body.

[B]

Neo's missing body.

[A]

Yeah, in the last episode, one of you. Whoever had the piece offered it to Tio, who And then Neo grabbed it and started, like, trying to reattach it to his body. Okay.

[B]

Could Doug go pick up all the pieces?

[A]

Absolutely.

[D]

We can call them neopets.

[B]

How long have you been waiting to make that joke? Your whole life.

[D]

Oh, inspiration die. Just hang out.

[A]

No, no, no.

[D]

I stand by the lack of inspiration. Die for that one. I stand by that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Thanks John. John here. And I think that 2026 should be the year that you make your dream business a reality. And you can let Shopify help you make it happen. Because Shopify gives you everything you need to sell online and in person. Millions of entrepreneurs have already made this leap from household names to first time business owners just getting started. And Shopify gives you all the tools to easily build your dream store. You choose from hundreds of beautiful templates that you can customize to match your brand setup is fast. With Shopify's built in tools that write product descriptions and headlines and help you edit product photos. Marketing is built into create email and social campaigns that reach customers wherever they scroll. As you grow, Shopify grows with you. Handle more orders, expand to new markets and do it all from the same dashboard. In 2023. Stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com dragon go to shopify.com dragon I'm going to say it one more time. That's shopify.com dragon hear your first this new year with Shopify by your side.

[C]

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[C]

Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan are.

[D]

Back in Disney's Freakier Friday, now streaming on Disney.

[B]

We switched bodies.

[A]

I am freaking out right now.

[D]

I think I just peed a little.

[A]

It's an absolute riot. And the only movie that can be.

[D]

Described as so much weirder than the last time.

[A]

What last time? It's the Frequel. You ready? We've been waiting for.

[D]

That absolutely slays Disney's Freakier Friday, now streaming on Disney.

[C]

Rated pg.

[B]

Doug also determined by picking up all these pieces, if, like, he could cohesively make it into what he perceives as missing from one or both of the siblings.

[A]

Oh, you made this COD piece make an intelligence check.

[B]

18.

[A]

Yeah. You think you're missing a significant amount of pieces. It's like trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle with only a fraction of the pieces. You find parts that fit together, but other parts that don't seem to fit anywhere. But you can make some decent progress with how these all are supposed to go together. Okay. Yeah.

[B]

Could I then just put it in my inventory and collect them?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I hate collection missions in video games. The worst.

[B]

Does it matter? I don't know if I need to write down a number of how many pieces I have or is it just pieces?

[A]

Just write pieces. Then over your head the numbers 218 appear.

[B]

That's it. Oh, man. We're going to murder a lot of dredges.

[A]

Time to go farming.

[B]

Yeah. All right. Well, I guess just be careful if you lift any minecarts up in here. But the question is, how do we get around this giant caterpillar thing?

[A]

Centipede.

[B]

Centipede thing.

[D]

It's dead, right? Or is it dead?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, we Just go over it? Yeah, you can just kind of shove it and get around it.

[D]

Tolv would stand up and dust himself off and then bow. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Yeah. He pulls his hand in front of his face. See, my flight lasts for 10 minutes, and I can just hover. Can I just keep that going for 10 minutes?

[A]

Yeah, sure.

[D]

Okay. Someday we need to attach some string to Natty's foot and pretend like they're a balloon. It's like a disguise, you know?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Is that how Gigi is traveling? Just, like, holding onto his harness?

[D]

Giggy's just walking on the ground, holding on to mama with his mom.

[A]

Balloon. Love it.

[B]

That's adorable.

[A]

Okay, we're going back to our dungeon maze mechanic, and correct me if I'm wrong, Doug, I believe you were the one who drew this monster card and triggered this.

[B]

I believe so, yeah.

[A]

Okay, well, since. Since you made an intelligence check to put this stuff back together, Doug, I want you also to make me a survival check as well.

[B]

Okay. Can do. 19.

[A]

Oh, that's really good. Okay, as you're collecting and putting together these pieces of blue gray metal, you find a few other smaller pieces that lead off down one of the. One of the tunnels in front of you, which is. You feel like it's kind of leading you in the correct path.

[B]

You need to go, guys, I have a feeling that this is the correct path we need to go. And I found more pieces down this way.

[A]

Follow the leader. Good job, Doug. All right, so that means next up would be Toll.

[D]

Yes. I will pursue pitfalls. Wisdom. That would be peruse, but sure, peruse pitfalls.

[A]

Which you reveal two cards in the river. You choose one to discard and shuffle the two remaining cards and place them face down in the river.

[D]

Yes, that's the one. All right, Wisdom check.

[A]

Yeah, make me a wisdom check. Ooh, that's a nat 20, baby. Yeah. What is that, like an 18?

[D]

No, no, I have a plus zero, thank you very much. Zesty Gust is here. I will pursue this path.

[A]

All right, you pursue the path. Which two cards you want to reveal?

[D]

It's not. It's not mean when I embrace the insults. Yes, it's so. It's so good that we figured out a way to make a living being idiots, because we're so good at that, we might as well get paid. I'm actually a scientist on the side.

[C]

Yeah, his. Blaine's hobby is science.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

All right, which cards do you want to reveal here?

[B]

My job is beach.

[D]

I mean, that energy is us. Barbara, that energy is us.

[B]

We are all Kens.

[D]

Yes. There's three cards to choose from, correct for the different paths. Okay. What did the left and the right cards reveal?

[A]

Oh, you sure about that? Okay.

[D]

Left and center. Left and center.

[A]

Left and center or left and right?

[D]

Left and right.

[A]

Okay. Left and right. You evaluate the. The dangers ahead and do a little bit of reconnaissance and scouting. And you feel. You ascertain that going either to the left or the right would both lead you on the correct path.

[D]

Ah, that makes no sense, geographically speaking. What are we talking about?

[A]

It's like fork.

[D]

What's in the center?

[A]

You didn't peruse that one.

[D]

A Dairy Queen.

[A]

You can still go in the center if you want.

[D]

So, basically, Blaine, you can just pick one of those, put it back down, and just take that path. Mmm.

[A]

Mmm.

[B]

You.

[D]

Left it. Sounds like Mario every time.

[A]

Left, left, left.

[D]

Let's. Yeah, I'll put one down and I guess. Yeah. Wait. So what happens is you pick one and then shuffle the other two.

[A]

You choose one to discard.

[D]

Yeah, that's what I do.

[A]

So you're just. You're discarding left.

[D]

I discard center. Is that possible?

[A]

No.

[D]

But you know that there now is a correct path in the river.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, but we're just discarding one of those and then shuffling the other ones. All right, sure. So you still have to pick left, center, or right?

[B]

Left.

[C]

So he just made our chances worse.

[D]

Yeah, I guess so. That's not true. That's not true. I'm a scientist.

[A]

Go left. Is that your final answer?

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Regis. Lock it in.

[A]

All right. Locking in. Left.

[D]

It's the first that can happen.

[B]

Quite a lot, actually.

[A]

You pursue the left path, and you see a shadowy figure with a glint of metal quickly shuffling past the tunnel, glowing with firelight. Hey. Come.

[D]

Come back.

[A]

Where are you going? You turn a corner, down a dark set of stairs, the stench of rotting flesh and moldy sewage filling your lungs. The sounds of thick, bubbling fluid echoes all around as you're in a wide and deep cavern. And without warning, a blazing fire illuminates the far side of this den. A pool of pure fire burns as a short, cloaked silhouette stands over it. They address the pool. My overlord. We have procured the gemstone. It was right where the fire eater said it would be. With your permission, I shall start the ritual immediately.

[B]

Do it.

[A]

I will need all of my underlords.

[B]

For the next move. You are sure this will be an improvement?

[A]

I have no doubt. So is it true, then? Have you indeed found The Pathfinder.

[B]

They are all but within my grasp. We storm the gates in one week.

[A]

Then there is no time to lose.

[D]

Indeed.

[A]

Oh, and one more thing.

[B]

Make sure our guests burn.

[A]

With pleasure. A silhouette turns around, revealing them to be a greenish gorilla like Undarian. Covered infested pustules and boils with some kind of Druidic dretch. Wearing a cloak of rags, their gnarly curled claws hold up a rod set with a pulsing fiery opal. A fanged smile comes across their face and they pound the rod on the ground and the pool of fire transforms into floating flames, lighting the entire den. A horde of dretches surrounds you, snarling, clad in blue gray armor. The pool behind the dretch druid now bubbles with black oil. And a single demonic horn is curiously poking out from the crew. Let the ritual of resurrection begin. Everyone go ahead and.

[D]

Sorry, wrong room. We were looking for the bathroom.

[B]

Yeah, is that.

[D]

That's down the hallway, isn't it?

[B]

Actually meant to take the other path?

[A]

That is our bath.

[D]

So sorry to interrupt.

[A]

Yeah, we'll just. We'll be going. Bye.

[D]

See you later.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Why don't you roll me? What do we call it? Initiative. And we'll see if you're able to say that before they're able to act.

[D]

While we're all Initiative. Since we don't have the pleasure of listening to our voice actors we're playing. Did that voice in the pool sound like what's her face in Furnace?

[A]

Furnace indeed. Yes.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Oh, I rolled a 24.

[A]

11.

[B]

21.

[D]

That would be a 4.

[A]

So before we really get into any decision making combat or whatever it is, you guys decide, I'm to going to read a little bit of description of the room and let you know about what's going on.

[D]

Thank you.

[A]

Okay, so this room reeks of rotting flesh and moldy sewage. There's a large ceremonial pool that overflows with boiling crude oil. There's a demonic horn sticking out from the large pool and two small pools in the corners with a drain gate on the far side. There's rotting support beams that crack menacingly in piles of rocks and piles of bone.

[C]

Okay, this ceremonial pool, is it like elevated, like a birdhouse or bird bath? Or is it in the ground?

[A]

No, it's in the ground. And that's where that druidic. I'm gonna refer to it as a Druidic dretch. Like that one that was talking to the pool. That's where that one is situated. And it appears to be performing some kind of ritual metagame wise. I've started a timer. And as time progresses, that Druid is, like, trying to. It appears they're trying to. To do something at that pool.

[D]

Sounds like you're just describing Six Flags Fiesta Texas.

[A]

Oh, where's the Iron Rattler?

[D]

I went there.

[C]

I went there.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Sorry.

[B]

As our timer's going, our timer's going.

[D]

San Antonio sucks ass.

[C]

And. And the other two pools are just, like, chilling off to the side.

[A]

Yeah. On the. I mean, I don't know if I'd say chilling, but they are to the side, to the left and the right when you enter.

[D]

And do you. Did you give us a number of how many there are dretches there are. That are not the Druid ones?

[A]

Oh, I did not. But there are eight.

[C]

Cool.

[D]

It's manageable.

[C]

Jeez, how far am I from the one summoning Gunther?

[A]

From the bottom of the stairs where you enter to that pool is probably about 40ft, more or less.

[C]

Okay. Gunther is going to run forward, jump, and then mid air cast Misty Step. Whoa. So that he lands with his sword onto the guy Cast Misty or summoning.

[D]

That's pretty sick.

[A]

Okay, FYI, there are those other eight dredges as well that are between you and that Druidic dredge. So I'm assuming you want to, like, just run a little bit, avoid any attacks of opportunity, and then try to jump in Misty Step.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Past around them, avoiding the attacks of opportunity to get to the Druidic dredge. I just want to make sure.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

I'm understanding correctly. Okay. Yeah. What's the range on Misty Step? Is it like 30ft or something?

[C]

It is. Misty Step, briefly surrounded by silvery mist. You teleport up to 30ft to an unoccupied space. You can see.

[A]

Yeah, I don't see why not. That should absolutely work. So, yeah, you take, you know, 5 or 10ft of movement up ahead. Then I think the dretches, the armored dretches, they think they're going to be able to attack you. They look at you menacingly and then you jump up and disappear, reappearing behind them all by the giant boiling pit where the Druidic dretch is. And you attempt to strike at him.

[C]

Is he holding anything, this. This creature?

[A]

He's holding a rod set with a pulsing fiery opal.

[C]

Okay, well, first I will attack. Does an 18 hit?

[A]

Yes, an 18 does hit.

[C]

As I stab down, I want to use a superiority dice to use a disarming attack. When you hit a creature with an attack roll, I can attempt to disarm the target, add the superiority die roll to the attack's damage roll. And the target move must succeed on a strength saving throw or drop one object of your choice that it's holding.

[A]

Oh, Gunther's learned his lessons. Okay. Yeah, go ahead and get that roll. You use your superiority die, you said, right?

[C]

Yeah. That's 13 damage.

[A]

Okay. And I have to make a strength saving throw, you said. What's the DC on it?

[C]

It doesn't say a number.

[A]

Okay, we'll roll and see what it is.

[C]

Is it a counter roll?

[D]

Against me, it's an inferiority die.

[A]

No, it's just a saving throw. It's not an opposing roll. It doesn't matter. I rolled a three, which is probably not enough for whatever your check is. So what item? I have no idea what item you're going to choose. What item do you choose for this Druidic dress to drop?

[C]

Whatever that thing that. That you said it was holding, something kind of glowing or whatever.

[A]

A rod with a fiery opal.

[C]

That would be it. Yeah. That one.

[A]

Using the. Who. Who taught you this lesson? Do you remember?

[C]

Yeah, it was Thoad Rhaenys, Renaissance.

[A]

You. You remember Renaissance teaching you this lesson? And you focus your weapon on the hand of this Druidic dretch and use the leverage to force the rod with the fiery opal out of its hand. And it clatters to the ground at the Druidic dress's feet.

[C]

I do have a second attack. For my second attack, can I try and kick the thing towards my party? Is that an option?

[A]

You can. I will warn you, those eight dretches are between you and the party. So even if you kick it in the direction of your party, there's no guarantee it's going to get to them.

[C]

Then I guess. I guess picking up an item is a free action, right?

[A]

Well, in this case, we'll say it's an action, because this is kind of important here. Oh, wait. So you attacked, which is an action. You can attack again as part of that action, but you can't take another action? I'm gonna say you're. You. You don't have another action. I'm inclined to give it to you. I'm looking for a way to make it happen. But I don't think. I think you're out of action.

[C]

Okay, then can I just use my action to kick the thing as.

[A]

No, but you're out of actions.

[C]

Well, I guess like an attack against the.

[A]

Yeah, we could. We could call it an attack on the item, but we'll say, like, an unarmed attack on the item.

[C]

Yeah, I've tried to push it away.

[A]

You know, in what direction?

[C]

I'll kick it west.

[A]

Let's say you're gonna kick it east to the west. There's like, a little pile of rocks. It's not. It's probably not that important, but we'll say you're kicking it to the east just because it's a little more clear in that direction. Yeah. Make a, like, an unarmed attack on it just to see if you're able to hit it.

[C]

A 13.

[A]

Yeah, we'll say you're able to make contact with it at that point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So make it roll a D6 just to see, like, how strong you're able to hit it.

[C]

Okay. That's a one.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. It's that thing, like, where you wind up a really mighty kick, but most of the force goes over the rod, and you barely get a little glancing blow on it, and it skitters a little bit. It moves about five feet to the.

[D]

It's basically Charlie Brown.

[A]

You duck in the rod.

[C]

I have made it very easy to get.

[A]

Yeah. It's like Lucy was holding the football and pulled it. And Gunther takes a big swinging kick and misses it.

[B]

Oh, man. Man.

[C]

All right, and that is my turn.

[A]

All right, that's it for Gunther. After Gunther is dug, then some enemies, then toll.

[B]

Is that. Is anyone really hurt right now? How's everyone doing?

[D]

He trying to just do some support.

[B]

I want support.

[A]

Good.

[D]

Now, meta wise, I'm. I barely got any damage taken from you guys.

[B]

Dragon.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Do you have mage Hand?

[B]

Do I have Mage Hand? That's a negative.

[D]

Speaking of mages, that one took a damage. You can heal them.

[C]

Oh, wait. There's one of us who is flying.

[B]

That's very true. It's not me. Could I just cast that firebolt that I wanted to cast last time?

[A]

Absolutely.

[D]

Can I just cast.

[B]

Can I just cast this fireball?

[D]

You touch that dog?

[B]

Can I touch that dog?

[D]

Can I pet that dog?

[B]

Which I guess is the. The trick dredge closest to me.

[A]

It would be one of the armored dredges. They look very similar to the ones you fought that were in the minecart previously.

[B]

Okay, I will shoot the one closest to me then.

[A]

All right, go ahead.

[D]

And let's say he has a mustache. So he's a little different from the other ones.

[B]

Okay, I'll shoot the mustachioed drench.

[A]

Secretly in dredge society, all the others are very jealous of this mustache.

[B]

You can grow facial hair. They can't. Does a 16 hit.

[A]

Yes, a 16 hit.

[C]

Excellent.

[B]

And then that will do 2d10 fire damage. Yuck.

[D]

Four total.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I rolled a one and a three on my two d10s. But Gambot's here.

[A]

Show me the gamble.

[D]

This classic entrance catchphrase.

[B]

And he is at, I guess, gonna go after me. Cuz I'm done. My turn.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Did he do roll up to the same guy, the mustachioed fella, and do a force empowered rend.

[D]

Do it.

[A]

Ooh, that sounds ouchy.

[B]

A 19. That hits.

[A]

Yeah, that hits.

[B]

And then 1D8 plus three force damage.

[D]

Come on. Come on, Gambot.

[B]

Six points of damage.

[D]

Dang, it's Cambodia.

[B]

Right up in the jaw.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, is it in the jaw? Gambop, for some reason, I think a lot. Because of the size, I think a lot. Like, he goes up and hits people in the shins and they're just like, ow.

[D]

I like that crotch. Yeah, he crits. It's the crotch. He definitely is crotch height at full extension.

[A]

Gambot extends. What kind of rend was that?

[B]

It's a force empowered rend.

[A]

Force empowered rend. Right into the nether regions of the Mustachio dretch.

[B]

Although I will say, I imagine these dretches are kind of like a little hunched over, kind of gremlin.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I think it would hit him in the chin.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

No, no, no, no, no.

[D]

Let's go for the.

[A]

Okay. No, no, no.

[D]

Yeah, for sure, for sure.

[A]

It's Barbara's character. She gets to make the call. Right into the chin.

[B]

Although hitting him in the crotch and going mamma mia. Would also be a very funny moment.

[A]

Gambot hits him in the jaw and he becomes stiff as a board and falls over backwards, unmoving on the ground.

[B]

And then Gambot celebrates by going.

[A]

Like.

[C]

Bouncing when you're moving.

[A]

All right, so that's one of them. Is there anything else you can do there, Doug?

[B]

I think that will be it for me. All right, guys, just one down.

[A]

It is the armored dredge's turn. But before they're able to to act, the druidic dretch that's close to you, Gunther closes his eyes and stretches his arms out and begins panting under his breath in a language you don't understand. And behind him, a fiery rune ignites at the edge of the pool.

[C]

A rune ignites at the pool.

[A]

At the edge of the pool, a rune. Yeah. Okay, it is. Is the armored dretch's turn. But they've got a target rich environment. They've got a frog behind them, three people and a giggy and a gambot in front of them.

[D]

Trying to get them fight gambling.

[B]

I'm just imagining his head extended and stayed extended and it's just like.

[A]

Yeah, okay, we're going to. They're going to split up. I guess some of them are going to go after Gunther and the rest are going to go after the party we'll deal with. Three of them are going to peel off and go after Gunther first.

[D]

Smart.

[A]

Okay. I'm going to have fun with this.

[C]

Oh no.

[A]

Two of them begin very like, almost like an animal. A very. What would you say? Like a very feral like state. Begin slashing and grabbing at you, Gunther wildly. Let's see if either of them hit.

[D]

That's going to hit.

[A]

Yeah. One of them's a nat. 20. That one hits Gunther.

[D]

Huh? Bummer.

[A]

It was that one. Gunther hits you for six points of slashing damage. And this dretch, you know, grapples you and drags you to the ground with it.

[B]

Cool.

[A]

The other dretch that went up there begins like hopping up and down in place. And an incredible stink begins emanating from its body.

[D]

What?

[B]

What's with all the sting?

[A]

Being a constitution saving throw, Gunther.

[C]

Okay, 14.

[A]

You try to hold your breath, but a little bit gets in your lungs and you begin coughing uncontrollably as you're being grappled by this other stretch.

[C]

And I think as Gunther is scratched, he looks down at that gash on his hand that had halved his max HP a while back. And then like. And just feels. Feels the. The scratch even more.

[A]

It's even worse now. Okay, the other four go in the direction of the party down to the south. I'm gonna roll a D20. If it's 1 through 10, they'll go after Gambot. If it's above, they're gonna go after the rest of the party.

[D]

What did Gambot do? Yeah, just goofing off.

[B]

What did Gambot do?

[A]

Gambot down to the mustachioed dread. Cool one. This is a high crime. Yeah, they rolled a one. So they're gonna go after Gambot.

[D]

Alpha Dredge. He's just smiling because it's painted on.

[B]

He has no other face.

[D]

Yeah, it's just a decal.

[A]

They're going to all do one shared attack just because they're all attacking the same way.

[D]

Merit, how many spare parts you got for Gamba?

[B]

So much.

[D]

Enough to build a new one.

[B]

I could Build Infinite.

[D]

What was that?

[A]

I rolled a one. I rolled a one. Oh my God.

[B]

You can't hurt him. He's just so happy.

[D]

He's the mascot of the show. Gus Scambot.

[A]

Squeaky, squeaky, squeaky. All right. I think they're so enraged at the mustachioed dress falling that they don't know what they're doing. They close their eyes and begin slashing and grabbing blindly, but they're just like attacking the air directly in front of them. Missing gambot entirely.

[B]

Blind rage.

[C]

I like that they gambot's like bouncing, but like just kind of casually left to right, but just keep swiping.

[D]

My God, he's skilled.

[A]

It's like at the end of the Matrix when Neo just kind of like steps to the left calmly and steps to the right calmly. Yeah. And then like kind of just bats the agent away like nothing.

[D]

He's starting to believe.

[A]

Give yourself an inspiration.

[D]

Die.

[A]

That's really good.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

There is no spoon.

[A]

All right, next up is the Druidic dretch. It's gonna walk over and pick up its rod because it was only five feet away.

[C]

No, wait, no. Attack him. Oh, wait, no.

[A]

I'm Gunther. Yeah, you're grappled and on the ground now. That's why I'm making this move. It reclaims its rod and walks back over to the pit once again. Again it begins chanting and points the rod at the pit of boiling crude oil. And another fiery rune ignites.

[B]

What happens if all the. How many ruins are there?

[A]

There are four more remaining.

[D]

Summon a Little Caesar's five dollar. Hot and ready.

[B]

Light them. Light them. Light them.

[C]

Light the torches.

[A]

Metagame wise. I guess I should tell you I have a ten sided die. I'm moving for a countdown. If you all interfere with the ritual, the count goes up. If the ritual's uninterrupted, the count goes down. And when the countdown hits zero, the ritual is complete.

[D]

Very dagger heart of you.

[A]

There's a. Yeah, we got mechanics we're working with back here. A little, little peek behind the curtain for everyone. It then turns around pointing the rod in the direction of the three of you down south by the entrance. It's ignoring Gunther begins chanting and waving the rod around. And a fiery mass erupts from the end of the rod, Traveling towards you 3. All of you except for Gunther. Make me dexterity saving throw.

[D]

I've got advantage on that form of a gambot. Squeaking, squeaking, squeaking.

[B]

I rolled a net. 20.

[D]

Very nice.

[B]

22.

[D]

7 and an 11. Oh, thank Kevin. I'm going to die. 18. Actually, I'm gonna use my inspiration knife. There you go. I just earned. I burn them. Oh. 19.

[A]

19. Okay.

[C]

All right.

[A]

A fiery mass which you recognize as a fireball erupts in your midst. But you all are able to dive behind piles of rocks. And you know you're able, you take some damage, but not all of it. You're able to mitigate the effects of some of the damage. So instead of being fully affected by it, you all succeeded on your saving throw. So you take half damage. So each of you take 12 points of fire damage.

[B]

Even with the nat. 20.

[A]

Yep, that's half damage damage.

[D]

So that's 12. Glad we dodged that.

[B]

So it would have been 24.

[A]

It would have been 25. But I rounded down for you.

[B]

Wow. What a generous card.

[A]

I'm a kind giving dm. The Druidic dredge cackles with glee. Next up is Tolv. And after Toll vis Natty.

[C]

All right.

[D]

Shield holstered. Gavel of Galestrom. Two handed activated. Glutes engaged. I rage. Ooh, I'm raging.

[C]

Ow.

[D]

And how far away is the mage from me again? Was it 30ft? The full.

[A]

The druidic dredge is about 40ft away.

[D]

40Ft.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

I want to walk into the bulk of the enemies. The dretchers that are in front of us. You said there was eight there. And I know that some went over to Gunther.

[A]

Like three went to Gunther. Four are in front of you.

[D]

I want to get away from Natty and Doug, but be within the center mass of those guys because I want to use this power that the gavel gives me. Is that possible?

[A]

Yeah, absolutely. So you want to walk into the middle of them.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

That will provoke some attacks of opportunity. You're moving in, you're not moving through it once you're moving into to it. So we'll see. You can do this? Yeah.

[B]

Okay, cool.

[D]

Yeah, I'm gonna use the gavel of Gelstrom. Two handed attack. Let's actually just see if this hits first and foremost. I guess I'll aim for like if this is like a quadrant quadrant, top left guy. So I'll take a swing at him.

[A]

Sure.

[D]

21.

[A]

That hits.

[D]

Okay. And then I'll do one D10 plus three bludgeoning damage.

[C]

Very nice.

[D]

That's a 12. And then I have this thing that I can use once per long rest called Stormstrike. It might be misspelling. It could be storm strike. I don't know. With a strike of your warhammer A blustery gale incites a howling rage into all enemies and allies within a 10 foot radius. All creatures within range must take a DC14 charisma saving throw. On a failed save, the creature is knocked prone by the blustery gale and becomes enraged for up to one minute. On a successful save, the creature is just knocked prone by the blustery gale. The creature can repeat the saving throw at the end of its turn. The creature automatically succeeds if it is immune to being charmed. And then it has this thing called blinded by rage. Enraged creatures lose the ability to distinguish friend from foe regarding all creatures it sees as enemies.

[A]

Okay, so I got to start off with charisma saving throws.

[D]

Okay, what have I done? Additionally, a protective gale surrounds the creature, granting them resistance to bludgeon, piercing, and slashing damage. What have I done? What did I do that for? That's too late. Now.

[A]

Let's.

[D]

Let's see how it goes.

[B]

What's wrong with it? What's wrong with it?

[D]

I don't want to give them resistance.

[C]

Wait, you gave them resistance?

[D]

That's why it says, additionally, a protective gale surrounds the creature. Is that the creature being me?

[A]

It's the enraged creature. Enraged creature. Yep, yep, yep. It's them.

[D]

That's fine. At the very least, it's going to make them the enemies of each other, so it'll like, distract them from us. So I, I, yeah, it still does the job.

[A]

All right, so I'm doing a charisma saving throw. What was the DC on it?

[D]

You're doing a DC14 charisma saving throw for the four.

[A]

I'm going to roll them all. One roll for all of them.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

They have a plus zero, so I need a 14 or better.

[D]

Don't roll that. Or do, actually do 11.

[A]

Sorry, it was my decision, not yours. I did not roll it. They failed.

[D]

So once again, on a failed save, the creature is knocked prone by the blustery gale and becomes enraged for up to one minute.

[A]

Okay, so they're. Now it's just that one creature that got hit is prone, Right?

[D]

All four of them, because they're within a ten foot range.

[C]

Nice.

[A]

Wow. Okay, so all four of them are now prone and enraged.

[C]

So now you can keep running past them, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You opened up a lane.

[D]

Oh, I also have plus two melee damage.

[A]

I'm raging.

[D]

So I guess on that first guy. So that was like what, a 12? So plus two. So 14 on that top left guy.

[A]

Got it. All right. Writing it down. Yeah. So to spins around enraging all the Enemies and forcing them to the ground. They're just kind of rolling around now at this point.

[D]

At your feet, Tol, that one guy didn't die. He's still up and he's fine.

[A]

He is still up for the moment. Okay, well, he's down, but you know what I mean. You knocked him down. You knocked him prone for sure.

[D]

And then I am going to use my second attack. I'm going to avoid these guys. These guys are knocked down. Time is of the essence. I need to make it to the mage. So I think Druid. Druid. That's totally what I said. And instead of attacking anybody, I guess I'm just going to. Can I double speed to get to them? Actually, no. I have walking speed of 40ft. So I'm just going to go up and knock that guy.

[A]

Power walk.

[B]

Yeah, do it.

[D]

Yeah. Chip Haney. Here he comes.

[B]

Channel the chip.

[D]

Okay, cool.

[A]

Yeah. So you do this, then continue your walk and do your second attack over there on the druidic dread.

[D]

I would like to, if that is possible, your honor.

[A]

Yeah, I'm just clarifying that that's what you're doing. Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Then I'm roll. That is a 11.

[A]

That does not hit.

[D]

You sure about that?

[A]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Yeah. You.

[C]

I give you my inspiration. Die.

[D]

Chris gives me his inspiration. Die.

[A]

Gunther, what do you say to Tolve to inspire him?

[D]

I don't want to die.

[B]

Wow. Inspiring.

[D]

It wasn't inspiring enough. That's an eight.

[A]

Oh, no, that's even worse. That's still a miss.

[B]

Gus, do you want to give him your. Your inspiration?

[D]

Gus, come on, please.

[A]

I forgot. Maybe. Maybe I'll use mine. This. This combat. No, I'm not sharing mine.

[B]

This message may be shocking to many millennials. If you are one, you might want.

[D]

To sit down right now.

[B]

Loads of people are searching the following on Depop.

[D]

Low rise jeans, halter top, velour tracksuit.

[B]

Puka shell necklace, disc belt. You likely placed these in the dark of your closet in 2004, never to be seen again.

[D]

But if you can find it in.

[B]

Yourself to dust them off, there are a lot of people who will give you money for them. Sell on Depop, where taste recognizes taste.

[D]

So good, so good, so good.

[A]

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[D]

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[D]

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[D]

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[B]

The best stuff goes fast.

[A]

So bring your gift list and your wish list to your nearest Nordstrom rack today. Welcome to our ugly home. Reddit is back for a historically hideous season.

[D]

It's our 100th ugly house.

[A]

This place is mayhem.

[D]

That is impressive.

[A]

And if these walls could talk.

[D]

Do you cry a lot? I do. They'd have a lot to say.

[A]

What in God's name is this pit?

[D]

Don't get too close if you've seen the show.

[A]

I'm scared of that. Ugliest house in America. Season premiere, Wednesday, January 7th at 8 on HGTV. That's it for Tove. Next up is Natty. And then we go back to Gunther.

[D]

At the top of the initiative, Natty puts out her palms out to the side, upwards, and like magneto, lifts up off the ground and just floats towards the druid. Out of reach, I would assume, of any of the other dredges that are standing.

[A]

Yeah, well, the four closest to you are all on the ground prone.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

One of the other ones by the druid is currently grappled with Gunther on the ground, which leaves the two of them when you're able to float over them out of range of attack of opportunity.

[D]

Cool. Nady's going to square her hands, then straight towards the druid and do some Eldritch blast in hope of breaking his concentration.

[A]

All right, roll that beautiful beam footage.

[D]

First One is a nat 20. Beautiful. Beautiful.

[A]

That is a hit.

[D]

So that'll be a D10 plus four. And then what do I get? Another D10. Like, I get 10. You get a full, like, crit dice, like, so that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[D]

So 3 plus 4 is 7, plus 10 is 17.

[A]

17. Ouch. Yeah. It strikes the druidic dretch, who winces and kind of nurses his arm where he's hit, but he is still standing and glares at you.

[D]

Well, Natty glares back and goes, don't glare. Add a lady. And does another eldritch blast at him. Thirteen plus seven. So dirty 20.

[A]

Yes. That hits.

[D]

Plus four is 11. Oh, wait, I did forget that I have agonizing blast, which means when you cast eldritch blast, you add plus four to the damage. It deals on hit. So it's 11 force damage. And then add another eight total to him for that agonizing blast that I did twice. Okay.

[A]

The Druidic dretch doubles over in pain, but is still standing. Now he's kind of propping himself up with that rod. He's struggling to stand, but he is still there.

[D]

Well, from behind Natty's wig, you see a pair of eyes peek out. And Gigi lunges down towards the druid and tries to rend. And that's a 13 plus 5. 18.

[A]

Whip. Whip. Yeah, that does hit.

[D]

Gigi's rend is a D4. That's 2 plus 3. So 5 slashing damage. And the target has the poison condition. So the start of Gigi's next turn.

[A]

All right. Yeah. The Druidic dredge clutches at its chest and stumbles, seemingly unable to keep its feet. Stumbles forward a step and then stumbles backwards and falls into the pool of boiling crude oil. Whoa.

[D]

Oh. And then another face peeks out from behind Natty's wig. And it's a pirate. And he's sad that he didn't get to hell. It's the carrying capacity of Natty's wig.

[A]

Hey, it's industrial strength. Natty, make me a perception check.

[D]

Love 2. My perception is plus 3. So 14.

[A]

You see a hand reach out from the pool and grasp onto the edge of the ground and you recognize it as the Druidic dretch's hand. And it pulls itself up out of the pool.

[B]

Is that what the horn also was?

[A]

Yeah, the horn is in that pool. Glares at you and smiles a disgusting, jagged, toothy smile.

[D]

Natty just tries to kick him down under the water more.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

She's just taking her boot and she's like, no, you're done. You're done.

[A]

The Druidic dretch pulls itself out of the pool. Ready for more?

[C]

I can do this all day.

[D]

Okay, well, that's the end of my turn. It's a good turn.

[A]

Yeah, you did a lot, Natty. But we are back up to the top of the initiative. And it's Gunther's turn.

[C]

Okay, so I got the one that's got me grappled. Can I try to attack that one?

[A]

Oh, I think you can. Yeah.

[C]

You have disadvantage on attack rolls against any target other than the grappler.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, you are correct. Yeah. So you can.

[C]

Then I shall. Nat. 20 for 28.

[D]

Beautiful. Wow.

[A]

Yeah. You're able to, you know, in close in, I don't know how, manage to get your rapier around and poke the grappler.

[C]

So how does that work with Roland?

[A]

Oh, and then I'll take a look. That's right. It's critical. Let me take a look at it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because D and D beyond automatically adds a second one, but we home brewed it so that one of the die is maximum. So it'll be it's actually 18 points of damage.

[C]

And then is it still up?

[A]

Yes. Yeah. You're able to stab it with the rapier, and it's significantly hurt, but it is still holding on to you.

[C]

And it's still holding. Okay, then I want to make it a use of superiority dice to make it a menacing attack, which I add my superiority die to the damage roll, and they have to make a wisdom saving throw. DC 16 on a failure. It's frightened of me.

[A]

Okay, let me. Let me roll that first of all, just to get that out of the way. The DC16 Wisdom.

[C]

And it'll be an additional. I rolled the two of my damage, but I have that. I can reroll one dice damage dice per attack puncture.

[A]

So, yeah, puncture once per turn. When you hit a creature with an attack that deals piercing damage, you can re roll one of the attacks damage dice. And you must use the new roll.

[C]

It's a two, and it's a two either way, so it doesn't matter. So it does two extra damage.

[A]

Okay. And I rolled a 17 on the Wisdom saving to which succeeds. But that's irrelevant because with your additional damage, the armor dredge loses its grip on you and falls unmoving.

[C]

Now is the whatever emperor, whatever guy summoning thing. Is he still around? Is he within reach of me?

[A]

Yeah, he's probably like five feet away.

[C]

Okay. I want to use my second attack to attack him from the ground. Oh, I was grappled, right? Yes, on the ground.

[A]

Yeah. So I'll tell you this. I didn't say it explicitly because I thought it was understood with the grapple, when he started coughing as well, when that.

[C]

Oh, oh, that.

[A]

That smell got in your lungs, that would have put. That would have made you prone. I didn't say it because I assumed you were prone already because of the grapple. I probably should have explicitly said it so that the prone wasn't understood, but that. That did put you on the ground, if nothing else.

[C]

Okay, so.

[D]

And in your badge, Gus.

[C]

So then can I stand up and attack within that reach?

[A]

Yeah. So you're able to use half and then half your movement, and then you're able. You're able to stand up and you can make that attack because within five feet, I mean, that's pretty much there. Okay.

[C]

And then I'm gonna run and attack the.

[A]

No, no need to run. I'm just right next to you. Then it's very crisp to run everywhere, but this person is only five feet away.

[C]

All right, 15.

[A]

That is a miss.

[C]

All right, I'M using another superiority die to can use multiples like that precision attack. When you make a weapon attack roll, you can spend one superiority die to add to the roll before or after the roll. Okay, so I'm gonna add another eight. Does a 19 hit?

[A]

A 19 does hit.

[C]

All right, so now it's gonna be 16 damage.

[B]

Nice. That's a lot of damage.

[A]

You run the five feet forward and attack the druidic dredge, doing 19 points of damage. It is still standing, but he winces in pain.

[C]

All right, I use my final superiority die to do disarming attack once again. And I add the 8 damage as well.

[A]

Okay, and I gotta make a. Was it a strength save?

[C]

Strength saving throw. And I rolled an 8, so it's another 8 damage.

[A]

And just for reference, the DC on that is 16. Michael told me.

[B]

No, Gus, you knew that off by heart.

[D]

Always say you just knew it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I've got. I don't have an incredibly helpful team helping me out every step of the way that we're doing this.

[B]

No, no, no, no. It's all you.

[A]

No, it's all me. I rolled a 17. So I think this time the Druidic dretch knows your your game, Gunther. And puts two hands on the rod and holds onto it firmly and is able to hold on to the rod despite your best effort to disarm him.

[C]

Clever. But he still takes an extra 8 damage.

[A]

Yes, I have written that down. All right, anything else? Any more superiority die you want to throw at me, Gunther?

[C]

No. I'm out.

[A]

That was impressive. That was a great turn. You and Natty back to back returns.

[C]

There.

[D]

That's it.

[A]

All right, next up should be Doug. But once again the Druidic dretch grasps onto the rod, pulls it close to his body and then raises it in the air. Chanting. And another rune illuminates around the pool. Cool.

[D]

So that's three.

[B]

That much closer to our hot and fresh ready pizza.

[A]

Oh my gosh, Doug, you are up.

[D]

It is. It's like the little domino tracker preparing your into quality.

[A]

Yeah, Dret, just cooking your pizza.

[B]

And our bug, that might be one.

[D]

Of the best features ever. Was just that little thing. Cuz he's like, yep, it's on its way. It's. It's all a lie though. Cuz if totally. Someone ordered like a 2 liter Coca Cola and it was like cooking your thing. And he was like, better not be.

[A]

I don't. I don't mean to interrupt you, Barbara, but years ago when we were doing RT podcast Down at the studio down south. We were in the area we called the annex, and we would order pizza sometimes from delivery places before the podcast. And we thought it would be fun to, like, have a celebration for the driver when he showed up. So we put up, like, party. Celebration stuff.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, when he got there, he walked in the door. We're like, yay, the pizza's here. Like, we, like, everyone was, like, super excited. Confetti. Yeah. And then the driver was like, how did you know it was my birthday? We were like, we didn't. It's just a happy coincidence.

[B]

Meant to be. Some things in life happen as they're meant to be. To happen. Just like that. Yeah.

[C]

All right.

[A]

I'm sorry, Barbara. It is. It is Doug's turn then. After Doug is some armor dredges.

[B]

I think Doug would want to see what's up with this horn that's in this pool. Is there any way that he could go over there to, like, try to pull it up?

[A]

Yeah, you could go over in that direction. The armored dretches that were. That would have had an attack opportunity on you are currently prone in front of you, so you're able to walk around them.

[B]

Oh, excuse me. Sorry. Oh, pardon me.

[A]

You walk up to the pool of bubbling, boiling crude oil, Texas tea, and you try to take a look at that horn. What do you want to do, like, an investigation check or something?

[B]

Yeah, I'll take an investigative look at this thing. Look. Well, that's a seven. I don't have any inspiration to.

[A]

Yeah, you take a look at it, and you see that there's other stuff floating. Floating in the pool besides the horn. Like, you can't really tell anything about the horn specifically, but you see maybe, like, rocks and pieces of wood also in that boiling oil.

[B]

So it seems like maybe this is just, like, debris. Like, maybe nothing special.

[A]

Maybe.

[D]

Maybe a really bad soup or stew of some sort.

[B]

Could I try to reach in and grab it out? Like, not actually put my hand in the. In the water, but just, like, grab the tip that's hanging, like, coming out.

[A]

Yeah. I'm going to make you make a dexterity check, though, just to see. Like, I picture it to, like, when you're. You're boiling pasta, like boiling spaghetti, and you want to get, like, one piece out to test it, and you're like, don't touch the boiling hot water. Like, so let's see if. If you. If you burn your hand, I probably will.

[B]

Oh, 18.

[A]

Oh, okay. Yeah. You're able to latch onto the. The tip of the Horn and yank on it and pull it free and whatever. You want to try to take a look at it again, you said.

[B]

Yeah, I just want to see, like, what it is.

[A]

Okay. Yeah.

[D]

You.

[A]

You start pulling on it, and it ends up being way heavier than you expect. Make me a strength check now that you've made that dexterity check.

[B]

Also, just want to confirm, is this, like, helmet horn or, like, playing horn? Like, instrument horn?

[D]

Ah. Like rhinoceros horn. Important distinction. Or trumpet.

[C]

Oh, please be trumpet.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a animal horn. Animal horn. Like, it's. It's not. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Curved kind of.

[C]

Okay, so an animal playing a trumpet.

[B]

Exactly.

[D]

It's just a trombone that's been sticking out of this pool the whole time.

[B]

And he said a strength check.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

At 20.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I have no modifiers on my strength.

[D]

But you're still strong.

[B]

Yay.

[A]

You gingerly reach out and grab the tip of the horn and pull, and it's much heavier than you expect. And as you begin pulling on it, you start to see the little. The top of a. Like a demonic head that is attached.

[D]

To that was coming.

[A]

That's in the pool.

[B]

Doug will immediately drop it back into the water. Oh, God. Never mind. Crude oil liquid.

[A]

It's attached to a head of some kind.

[B]

That's gross. I'm scarred for life.

[D]

When Mushu is looking for Mulan in the avalanche and pulls up, and it's just an end, he's like, nope. And he puts it back down.

[B]

I remember that, I guess. Then could I finish up my turn by casting detect thoughts on this druid?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I want to read thoughts, and I can read that for you if you.

[A]

Want me to, but, yeah, why don't you read it out loud just to be safe for any listeners as well.

[B]

On target, one creature you can see within 30ft of yourself. To do the sense thoughts option, you. You learn what is most on the target's mind. Right. Now, if the target doesn't know any languages and isn't telepathic, you learn nothing. Oh, so maybe I have to sense thoughts then? Because I doubt he's telepathic.

[D]

Eggs, 2% milk, toilet paper. No. He's like, I hope my pizza's coming soon.

[A]

Yeah, you can. You can do this. It's if the target doesn't know language and isn't telepathic. Okay. So if both of those conditions are met, it's not a matter of either or. Yeah, either or.

[B]

Okay, cool. Then I will try to read thoughts.

[A]

And what's most on its mind. You you reach out and try to read the thoughts of the Druidic dress. And you hear chanting in a language you don't understand. But you also hear the. The thought must complete the ritual. Must complete the ritual.

[B]

And I don't understand. Could I at least tell what language the other thoughts are in?

[A]

It's some kind of demonic language that you're not familiar with. It's. It sounds abyssal, but maybe not abyssal. Exactly.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

You hear one word, Pazuzu.

[B]

That will be it.

[D]

I have had that Michael Jackson song stuck in my head ever since you made that joke. I just want to say, like I said, you, like, ear wormed it right in.

[A]

Is an earworm. Definition of an earworm.

[D]

And it's just that. That. That it's not even the chorus of the song. It's like, whatever, a refrain at the end or something.

[B]

That's it for my turn.

[A]

All right, that is it for Doug. It is the armored dretch's turn. Man, those four down south, we're gonna deal with them first, because that's the funniest to me. They're rolling around enraged, and they're immune to, like, slashing and. And piercing damage.

[D]

Resistant. They are protective. Gale surrounds the creature, granting them resistance to bludging, piercing, and slashing damage.

[B]

All right, anybody got some lightning or fire or thunder?

[A]

Well, they're all enraged, and they're all closest to each other, so I figured they're just, like, all splashing at each other, rolling around on the ground.

[D]

Natty throws them a bunch of pillows.

[A]

It's like the most disturbed. It's just a mess of claws and teeth down there, to put it mild.

[D]

Call that a mosh pit.

[A]

Giggy, get in there.

[D]

Yeah, he's like, come on, come on. Nanny's, like, holding him back with her leash. No.

[A]

Making some rolls for fun. Okay. After they're done rolling around, slashing and attacking each other, a couple of them are left unmoving. But a couple of them are still rolling around, so. And they'll stand at that point. There are two of them so are standing now, and two of them that are unmoving.

[D]

Winner tryouts.

[A]

Okay, and then now we're left with the ones up here. Gunther, you killed the one that was grappling you. Oh, and they have to repeat their saving throw at the end of their turn. Let me do that again. What's that?

[D]

Saving throw to AC14. Charisma.

[A]

Oh, I rolled a 14. Yeah. So they break free. They have zero. So they got a 14. They are no longer affected by that of effect.

[D]

But now they're stunned because they killed their comrades. Oh, they look at their hands in the blood.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And Mr. Mustache is gone. It's the worst day of their lives.

[D]

I'm so glad you ran with that.

[A]

So we're left with the two up here by Gunther. And to one of them begins emitting a foul stench from all of its pores in its mouth. Gunther. And to make me constitution saving throws.

[D]

You got it, dude. 1611.

[A]

Okay, it's a DC11. So you barely got it. Yeah. The two of you try to hold your breath. But you're just in surrounded by these fumes. And eventually you have to take a breath and the smell enters your lungs, which makes you start coughing. And both of you fall to the ground prone.

[B]

Eek.

[D]

I mean, technically Tolst can hold his breath, unfortunately. But I get to roll with it. You're right. I'm old prone.

[A]

Look at me go. Thanks for being a good sport there, Toll. Give yourself an inspiration now.

[C]

Use it to reroll.

[A]

It's after the fact we're going along with the dm. I I. I'm gonna reward that.

[D]

Wait, so what would have happened if we'd failed?

[A]

You fall to the ground and you're poisoned.

[D]

I'll take that. I'll take a prone.

[A]

Okay, that's one of them. The other one is going to attack Gunther just slashing wildly with his claws.

[B]

These things are no joke.

[D]

We got four down.

[A]

Three. Three. And you rolls a 12, which I assume is Ms. Gunther. You've got good AC.

[C]

That is a miss.

[A]

You're prone. So it cast advantage.

[D]

Gambot killed one and then Gunther killed one. Oh, four down then. Yeah, and then the two killed each other.

[A]

Oh, you're right. I forgot to mark the gambot one. So there's only one down to the south in that.

[B]

How dare you. He worked hard on that. Yeah.

[D]

You trying to take away Gambot's murder?

[B]

He does the thing like the mayor in Nightmare Before Christmas where his head turns around and it's a sad face.

[D]

Yeah, your favorite character from Nightmare for Christmas.

[B]

Creepy.

[A]

So that's an 11. Which is also a miss. It. So there's only one down to the south and two up here. And even though you're prone to. And this one misses Hugh Gunther.

[D]

Ha ha ha.

[C]

Leapfrog.

[D]

And then falls in the boiling oil pool.

[A]

It worked out well for the druid. Yeah, speaking of the druid. It's its turn. It once again turns to look at the pool.

[D]

He's poisoned.

[A]

Metagame wise. He's immune to poison.

[D]

Oh well, so is Kiki. So you know.

[A]

He turns to look at the pool and points the rod at the pool. Chants something in abyssal and another rune illuminates.

[D]

2, 2 left. He stop for delivery.

[B]

Is it approaching my neighborhood yet?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Then he turns to face you all, aims his rod down low and then raises it from the ground up to the sky. And you hear a gut. In a guttural voice he just says.

[C]

Rise.

[A]

Rise from your grave. Love that game. Gus gets it day I held beast. Love that game. That's what I was thinking of. And two of those armored dretches that were out of commission near him rise from the ground and rejoin the fight.

[D]

Oh, necromancy.

[A]

So there are now four up by him and then one down to the south. Wait, I take it back. There was not or there was only one by him to begin with. One there and then one to the south.

[B]

Right.

[A]

There's three by him and two to the south.

[B]

There's so many of these guys.

[A]

Okay, that's it for the Druid's turn. Which means it's toll and then Natty.

[D]

Yoohoo. Okay, I don't like this druid. So I'm gonna make an attack on them with the gavel of Gaelstrom. Smart move. So that is a 19 plus 625.

[C]

25.

[A]

That connects.

[D]

Big damage, two handed attack, no whammies. Three plus three. Six plus the two. Cause I'm raging.

[B]

Eight. Eight.

[A]

All right. You bring your gavel around striking the Druidic dredge for eight points of damage. Ouch.

[D]

Woo woo. And then I have a bonus action that I'd like to use. It's the storm aura. You gain a 10 foot aura effect when you start your rage and is a bonus action on each of your turns. When activated, one creature of your choice and your aura takes lightning damage. It's a dexterity DC 14, half damage on success. Full sage.

[A]

Believe they said it was a 14.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

I rolled an 11 and I have a plus two, so that's a 13, so that's a failure.

[C]

So sorry sir.

[D]

And then let me see, that's a third level. 1D6. All right, so I'm gonna roll my 1D6, see how much damage it takes. Four points of lightning damage or lightning.

[A]

I don't think I'm immune to that. Let me double check.

[D]

I'm pretty sure you're not. I don't think so. Yeah, I talked to Micah earlier about it.

[A]

He said no. Yeah, I'm not. Okay. Yeah. Four points of lightning. Got it.

[B]

That's legit.

[D]

Cool. And then I'm gonna. I'm gonna keep attacking because he needs to stop those runes. Another swipe with the gavel of Gailstrom.

[A]

All right, make that attack roll.

[D]

That's a 16.

[A]

That's exactly what you need. 16 is a hit.

[D]

I'll take it.

[A]

All right.

[D]

And then that's a 1. D10. We're all in that. Not my best 7 plus 2 from rage. 9.

[A]

Distracted druidic Drex, who drops to one knee near the edge of the pool, supporting himself with the rod. He looks at you, tries to mouth something Toll, but is unable to get it out and falls face down on the edge of the pool, releasing the rod, which begins rolling over towards the edge of the pool. About to fall in, he whispered, will you bury me?

[B]

I'm gonna go and grab it.

[C]

Yeah. Can we try and grab it?

[D]

I got some distance that I can travel, so I'll go for it.

[A]

Yeah. Why don't you make me a toll? Since you're right there, why don't you make me a dexterity check to see if you're able to grab it before it falls in?

[D]

That is a 15.

[A]

You reach out and grab it. And just as the rod is about to roll into the pool, you get your fingers on it and roll it away from the edge and get it into your hand.

[D]

And to celebrate, tolve spikes it into the oil pool.

[B]

I'll get it.

[A]

You. You go to spike it and celebrate. And you're immediately surrounded by dredges who begin trying to grapple you with me. Three grapple checks.

[B]

Wait. Actually.

[D]

Yeah, they're alive still. Oh, is this ac?

[A]

Yeah. You can oppose. You can oppose the strength or dexterity.

[D]

I'm gonna do dexterity because I have advantage.

[A]

Okay, roll me three.

[D]

Okay. It's a nat. 20 for one.

[B]

Check, not save, no advantage.

[D]

So take your first three rolls. Check, not save. Got it. All right, so save, though.

[C]

Come on.

[A]

I rolled a seven, a three, and a four, so I think you're probably. Okay, So I got it.

[D]

I got a 21. I got. What was this? 12. I might reroll that with my inspo. I got an 18. You're good. He just said his numbers. You be all his numbers. Okay.

[A]

Sorry.

[D]

I can't do math like Gus can. I'm not that good.

[A]

Seven, three.

[D]

Four.

[A]

Yeah. You. The Gretches begin trying to swarm you and grapple you, but you use your might to push them away and shove them to the ground and make me a Perception checkpole.

[D]

Okay. Sorry it took me that long to find where the perception is. It's always the one that's hidden.

[C]

White.

[D]

That's a 17 hidden in that alphabetical order of your text. That's alphabetical? Yes. Guys, did you know? When were you gonna tell me?

[A]

Oh, my God. That's incredible. This is our job.

[D]

Incredible.

[A]

As you shove the dredges to the ground, something catches your eye in the western pile of rocks by the by the pool. A glinting blue gray metal. It's not just a piece of of metal, though. It looks like a head.

[D]

Neo's head.

[B]

I thought Tio was the head.

[A]

Well, find out what it is on the next episode of Tales from the Sneaky Dragon.

[D]

He sat there the whole time, not saying nothing, brother.

[A]

Maybe we'll find out why. All right, well, thanks for listening, everybody. We had. We had a very productive episode. Lots of combat, lots going on, everyone getting to use their abilities. I look forward to talking all about this in our next episode of Second Wind, which is available for patrons over@stinky dragonpod.com until next time, stay Stinky.

[D]

Salutations, Stinkers. It's me, Micah Risinger, and I'm here to tell you about a tavern tale. That's right, meal Walker's the One IGM'd is all out now. All episodes are available at stinkydragonpod.com don't fret if you haven't checked it out yet. Episode 0 is still available for free to the public. So if you want to listen to that and you want to listen to more episodes one and two, you got to go to stinky dragonpod.com become a patreon. Get access to all all our tavern tales. Not just mine, all the other ones too. Like C Squad. All that's good stuff. Anyways, new episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever you stream podcasts and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want to listen to the show 48 hours early and ad free. No commercials. You can support us by becoming a [e-mail] or join us as a member on Beacon TV. Both give you early ad free access and a members only discord for their respective platforms. Looking for even more stinky content and community perks? Our Patreon offers exclusive bonus shows, behind the scenes content, access to the Stinky Dragon, Discord members only, livestreams, stinky community events and a shout out on the show. Just like Roman Sage. This one's gonna be fun. Gleich Gewict. I Totally got that right. Gleich Gevicht. Maybe.

[A]

I don't know.

[D]

Cody Williams Ash Ben Battelle, Nicholas Newton Kayaking Chef Aliascan Gold Caboose 45 these patrons directly support the show. Get ad free episodes, access to our Patron Only Discord Server bonus content like Second Wind and Behind the Screen and other stinky perks. Once again, that's stinky. Dragonpod.com we are incredibly grateful for your support, which makes this show possibly. Some of our friends voiced NPCs in this episode, like Dretch Druid, voiced by Quentin Smith. Find them at Twitch TV. Quix18 that's Quix1 8 Infernus voiced by Laurel Rothamel. LaurelRothamel this episode of Tales from the Sneaky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst and Micah Risinger, written and composed by Micah Reisinger and edited by Alina Licorczyk. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

[A]

Using the Who. Who taught you this lesson? Do you remember?

[C]

Yeah, it was.

[D]

Hold.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh yeah. Must have been an important lesson, huh?

[A]

Hold.

[B]

Holding my breath. Hold.

[D]

We're holding. We're holding.

[A]

No, Chris is holding.

[C]

Don't hold too long.

[A]

Don't do that.

[D]

Hold.

[C]

I got is. It is. Where's my.

[A]

Huh?

[C]

Shoot. Renesis.

[B]

Renesis Renaissance.

[A]

Yeah. I want the the outtake at the end of this episode to be that. Searching in real time, unedited, just waiting.

[D]

Well, Gus, we that would make our podcast a four hour run time. So.

[A]

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