C03 - Ep. 39 - From On Hyra - A Big Ascend-Off

Summary

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Tales from the Stinky Dragon

Episode Title: C03 - Ep. 39 – From On Hyra: A Big Ascend-Off
Release Date: March 18, 2026
Host & Dungeon Master: Gustavo Sorrol
Featured Players: Barbara Dunkelman (Doug Boone), Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther), Tolv, Natty, and others
Summary by: [Your Podcast Summarizer]

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Episode Overview

In this boisterous, lore-rich session, the Stinky Dragon crew continues their actual-play D&D campaign with a classic blend of humor, teamwork, and immersion. The party emerges (literally!) from watery danger, escapes a besieged dungeon, and is hurled directly into the chaos of a battlefield at Fort Mito. Along the way, they're drawn into arcane mysteries in the form of massive tarot megaliths, wrangle with existential and personal quests, and are entrusted with defending a blood-soaked fortress. The stakes for Hyra’s fate—both literal and metaphysical—have never been higher.

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Key Discussion Points & Story Beats

1. Opening Arrow Question: “What kind of video game would your character make?”

(03:21–11:25)

• Players respond to a listener-submitted question ("Arrow Question") about game genres:
  • Doug (Barbara Dunkelman): Would create a puzzle game for its relaxing qualities, but admits Doug could use skills from a first-person shooter. "I like puzzle games. Good for the heart, good for the brain." (04:11, Barbara)
  • Tolv: Pitches a narrative fighting game featuring himself and a small boy—an overt God of War spoof—emphasizing character growth through partnership.
  • Gunther (Kristen Merrissnapple): Would make a bug-raising farming simulator: “Hoppin Hoe Valley,” about raising bugs as livestock.
  • Natty: Imagines a graveyard-themed farming sim—“graveyard sim but with Stardew Valley vibes.”
  • Extended riffing on farming, bugs, strange sim games, and game design.

2. Escaping the Dungeon – Finding Bunlap

(11:39–15:27)

• The party discovers Bunlap, the croak folk, battered and restrained. Gunther nurses guilt for having left him, but is thanked by Bunlap:
  • Memorable quote: “Think nothing of it. It is what needed to happen... But Gunther, you need to help me escape now.” (12:50, Bunlap)
• Bunlap claims he knows the location of the Wilder Shield. The reunion is interrupted by archers attacking from an overhead hatch.
• Dexterity saves ensue; most evade, but Doug takes a volley—humorously interpreted.
• Gunther attempts to shield Bunlap; all barely escape further injury.

3. The Flooded Escape – Water, Exhaustion, and Teamwork

(15:27–24:03)

• Escape via a locked bulkhead bursts the chamber, flooding the room with icy water. Critical teamwork montage:
  • Players describe and roll for collaborative actions to get through the flood (using a magic ring, a mushroom bot propeller, shield blocks, etc.).
  • Gustavo tweaks exhaustion rules to streamline gameplay.
• Notable moment: Roleplaying around Gunther’s frozen, almost frostbitten, arm. “The water’s so cold, you feel your right hand and your right arm becoming really cold and frozen, like you’re having the effects of some kind of frostbite.” (24:01, Gustavo)

4. Breaching the Surface – Chaos at the Prison

(30:12–34:22)

• The party surfaces in a lake amidst a prison break, with prisoners escaping, some falling prey to a cryodile.
• Perception checks—Doug notices all Undarian prisoners fleeing northeast—towards the Mido Canyon frontline.
• Speculation about motives, plot foreshadowing: “If that’s the front line, then they could be potentially ambushing our friends from behind. So, like, we should stop that.” (32:00, Tolv)

5. A Night at Camp – Recovery and Introspection

(34:41–39:46)

• The party regroups at their blanket camp, each describing a quirky detail:
  • Gigi the pet is tied out.
  • DIY igloo blankets, frog jacuzzi, communal cooking.
• **Gunther and Bunlap share an emotional warrior’s handshake and reunion in the “jacuzzi.”
  • Quote: "Everyone has fear. That’s what gives us courage. Without fear, we never have the reason to rise." (38:24, Bunlap)

6. Natty’s Dream – A Dire Warning and a Gift

(40:19–44:44)

• Natty dreams she is in the mystical “coil,” meets her spectral wife (“the silent steed”), and receives a grave prophecy:
  • "Gigi must not fail. The fate of this world and more depends on it." (41:09, the Silent Steed)
• Wakes up with the mystical Auto Harp of Auto-Tune in her hands, already added to inventory.
  • Breaks to describe the magical harp, its appearance, and tease of its mysterious abilities.

7. Morning Loss – Bunlap’s Farewell

(44:45–47:15)

• Bunlap disappears, leaving Gunther a note:
  • “No, he says the Wilder Flower visited him in his dreams. And she says that I am not the devoted Croak folk I once were. She says it is up to him to retrieve the Wilder Shield. He says thank you for his freedom. And he hopes our paths cross once more.” (45:41, Gunther reading Bunlap’s note)
• Emotional support circle for Gunther, wrestling with guilt and honor.

8. March to Mido Canyon – Reconnaissance

(50:21–56:36)

• The adventurers travel northeast to Fort Mito ("Meado"), approaching twilight and signs of battle.
• Perception reveals artillery flashes; discussion on choosing stealth vs. blending in as official Mortalion soldiers.
• They witness a group of Grilps (enemies) bashing at the fort’s portcullis.
  • Doug uses strategic engineering to roll boulders and squish the attackers in a comedic “bowling for grilps” sequence.

9. Into Fort Mito – Becoming Commanders

(59:05–64:45)

• Welcomed as high-ranking officers, the party discovers they are now in charge after the previous commanding officer was killed in an artillery blast.
• Assessment: 130 defenders, 70 wounded, versus an advancing Undarian army of ~200.
• Players split responsibilities (investigating tarot megaliths, tending wounded, checking defenses).

10. The Tarot Megaliths – Arcane Mysteries

(66:01–85:19)

• Doug and Natty discover six massive tarot megaliths integrated into the fort’s structure. Each is face-down, with veiled eye symbols, and can be “activated.”
• In sequence, they reveal:
  • Wheel of Fortune (upside down): “Greater forces are at work… a downturn.” (70:14, narration)
  • The Emperor (upside down): “Something seeks to dominate, a tyrant. A power struggle is on the horizon.” (72:20, narration)
  • The World (right side up): “Completion of a long-term project. Inner and outer world uniting.” (74:07)
  • The Moon (right side up): “Proceed with caution. Watch out for liars and haters.” (82:47)
  • The Sun: “You provide inspiration and joy to others.” (84:48)
  • The Tower: “You're living in an illusion. You must expose the truth to change it.” (85:38)
• Doug draws notes, and Private Mark Book is amazed by the megaliths awakening.
• Fun segments on Tarot meanings, conspiracy jokes, and deep analysis.

11. Battlefield Preparations and Lore

(75:09–81:28)

• Gunther & Tolv take the ramparts, question Privates about casualties, the Undarian siege, the myths of the Blood Bather, and the significance of the fort and its defenses.
• Upbeat tale-sharing about the legendary Blood Bather and speculation about activating a superweapon/artifact.

12. The Vision with Maestro Pharynx

(85:41–88:53)

• Touching the final tarot, the party is transported to a spectral, starry realm.
• They meet Maestro Pharynx, an elderly Drakkin conductor:
  • Reveals: the Veiled Eye has been forced from his sanctuary and waits in the Veiled Vale. Warns of an imminent cosmic war and the need to find “the Pathfinder.” Offers cryptic guidance: “The future isn’t fixed… a war is coming, and not just the thousand year war between Undarians and Mortalion.” (88:29, Maestro Pharynx)

13. Storm on the Horizon – The Siege Begins

(90:03–94:53)

• The party is jolted back; Gunther takes an arrow bearing a dire message—Infernus, Sunslayer, leader of the Undarmi, demands their surrender.
  • “Surrender immediately or we will lay siege to your so-called fort and leave none alive. I await your reply… Infernus.” (91:38, Gustavo reading note)
• A literal rain of blood and supernatural terror sweeps through, snatching human soldiers upwards, leaving the party outnumbered and facing an oncoming army.
• Cliffhanger: The party resolves to try the Temple of the Blood Bather for hope as the undead and Undarian forces mass at the gates.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Everyone has fear. That’s what gives us courage. Without fear, we never have the reason to rise.” (38:24, Bunlap)
• “If that’s the front line, then they could be potentially ambushing our friends from behind.” (32:00, Tolv)
• "You provide others with inspiration and joy. People are drawn to you because they’re capable of seeing the warm and beautiful energy which you bring into their lives.” (84:48, Tarot Reading – The Sun)
• “A war is coming, and not just the thousand year war between Udarians and the Mortalion.” (88:29, Maestro Pharynx)
• “Surrender immediately or we will lay siege to your so-called fort and leave none alive.” (91:38, Infernus’s note)
• “Defend at all costs. Do not let them in.” (93:15, Gunther taking command)

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Important Timestamps

| Segment | Time | Description | |---------------------|-----------|-------------| | Arrow Question | 03:21 | Humorous video game pitches by characters | | Finding Bunlap | 11:39 | Prison rescue & revelation about Wilder Shield | | Water Escape | 15:27 | Flooded dungeon, collaborative saves | | Campfire at Lake | 34:41 | Emotional recovery, Gunther & Bunlap bond | | Natty’s Vision | 40:19 | Prophetic dream and mystical harp | | Bunlap’s Farewell | 44:45 | Note, honor crisis for Gunther, party support | | Fort Mito Approach | 50:21 | Artillery, enemy movement, fortification | | Bowling Grilps | 57:40 | Boulder vs. siege, sound effects banter | | Tarot Megaliths | 66:01 | Activating arcane megaliths & interpretations | | Maestro Encounter | 85:41 | Visionary guidance, looming threat | | Siege Initiated | 90:03 | Infernus delivers ultimatum, party prepares |

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Tone & Style

The episode is light-hearted and irreverently comedic, but also layered with real emotion and tension as lore and stakes escalate. The players lean into banter, meta-jokes, and D&D joke tropes, but deftly handle pathos in key moments (notably Gunther’s arc and Natty’s prophetic dream).

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Final Thoughts

Episode 39 marks a transition from dungeoneering and personal quests to grand, military-scale conflict and arcane mysteries, while maintaining the Stinky Dragon’s signature warmth and wit. The lore around the tarot megaliths deepens the campaign’s mythos, while colorful characters (from the muscular Bunlap to Maestro Pharynx) keep the world inviting and weird. The cliffhanger ensures the next episode promises an explosive defense—possibly with magical aid—against overwhelming odds.

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Listen to Tales from the Stinky Dragon every other Wednesday.
For bonus content and early access, visit stinkydragonpod.com

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Transcript

[Micah Reisinger]

The Stinky Dragon Vinyl is here for the month of March. We're dropping the first ever Stinky Dragon vinyl album. This limited edition record happens to feature all of your favorite hits like Step into the Stinky Dragon, Introducing the Infinites Sleek symphony, and even the High octane Smart is still king. It's the ultimate way to experience the saga of the Infinites in glorious analog. I'm so excited you get a physical piece of media with but don't wait. When it's gone, it's gone. Go order yours now at store.stinkydragonpod.com grab yours before the music stops.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Reggie.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

I just sold my car online.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Let's go, grandpa.

[Tolv]

Wait, you did?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yep, on Carvana. Just put in the license plate, answered

[Gustavo Sorrol]

a few questions, got an offer in minutes.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Easier than setting up that new digital picture frame. You don't say.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, they're even picking it up tomorrow.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Talk about fast.

[Tolv]

Wow.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Way to go.

[Tolv]

So, about that picture frame.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Ah, forget about it. Until Carvana makes one, I'm not interested.

[Doug Boone]

Car selling made easy on Carvana. Pick up fees may apply.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm.

[Doug Boone]

Listening to this podcast.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Smart move Being financially savvy Smart move.

[Doug Boone]

Another smart move.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Having State Farm help you create a competitive price when you choose to bundle home and auto bundling. Just another way to save with a personal price plan like a good neighbo, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state.

[Micah Reisinger]

Ashante, all you erinyes glide on into the Stinky Dragon and take a taste of our latest tea with oath Hands Tide. It's a mixture of magic mint leaf rope, a withering water sword, green tangled teabags, sulfurous sugar smoke and topped with diced honey diabolical melon. One drop of this devilish drink and you'll be sitting on cloud nine Hells. Previously, adventurers fell into a watery dungeon with the warden in waiting. They tussled with tapestries teeming with traps, were tormented with traumatic memories and and found a former Croak folk friend. Now finally freed from this frigid facility of felons, Bunlap unfurls a fun fact. The whereabouts of the wilder shield, nab some nectar and nestle in for a noxious narrative.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales on the Stinky Dragon. I'm your dungeon master, Gustavo Sorrol, and I'm gonna hit our four players with an arrow.

[Tolv]

No.

[Natty]

Don't shoot arrows at us. In this Facility.

[Tolv]

This is a no firearms facility.

[Micah Reisinger]

Did I say facility?

[Natty]

You did.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Whatever.

[Tolv]

I'll pick it up and post.

[Doug Boone]

No way. It's staying.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

It's a spicy start to this episode. So this week's arrow question is, if your character were to make a video game, what genre and what kind of game would it be? And that's submoted. All right, that's it. We're done. It's submitted by Viola Gameboy.

[Doug Boone]

I rolled a 19.

[Micah Reisinger]

So good.

[Tolv]

So good. Nine, two, six.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

All right, so what do we got? 19, nine, six, two.

[Doug Boone]

That's the way.

[Tolv]

That's my phone number. Don't call me.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

All right, well, why don't you lead us off, Mr. Boone?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Well, hello, everyone.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

My name is Doug Boone. I'm a bugbear artificial played by Barbara Dunkelman.

[Natty]

Hello.

[Doug Boone]

Welcome back to the Stinky Dragon.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

And you know, I. I think I have two answers for this, Gustavo. I think if I were to make a video game, it would be a puzzle game, obviously.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Okay.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Duh. His most obvious answer of the week. Am I right? Because I like puzzle games. I like, you know, using your noggin. I like things that are a little bit more low key, a little relaxing. You don't feel stressed. Good. Good for the heart, good for the brain.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

I think you'd like blueprints, Doug. I'm just gonna throw that out there. Put it in your queue.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Blueprints.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yeah.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Easy to say, but I think if I were to play a video game, I'd want to play some type of first person shooter. Because Doug needs a little bit of practice when it comes to his aim and his fighting skills and stuff like that and his bravery. So maybe that he could use that as some practice. But I think if we were to make one is a puzzle game, not dig dug. I'm not familiar.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

You're way too pleased with that, by the way. Okay, are you like a cod person or a battlefield person? Do you have any preference like that, Doug?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh, I love cod. I love cod. I like swordfish. I like salmon. You know, I am technically kind of like a bear type situation. So stereotype does ring true a little bit.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Okay. All right, good to know. Thanks, Doug. I believe up next we had tolve with a nine, if I remember right.

[Tolv]

Yeah, that's me. Yoo hoo. It's me, Tolv. Good to see you, everybody. Wow, you haven't taken a break. But we sure have. And I feel rusty. Okay, let's talk video games, shall we? All right, here's my pitch. I'm Thinking a big, long narrative game fighting genre, very story based. A tale of redemption. And it stars me. And I'm like an old grizzly man who's like, all on a path of, you know, he's ashamed of his past. And maybe he has like a small boy with him who he helps through this dangerous, icy world. And he encounters all these big villains. And I have an axe and maybe some two swords and a hammer.

[Doug Boone]

Trying to figure out what game this actually is that you are.

[Natty]

I know which game he's talking about, but I want him to explain why he needs a small boy with him.

[Tolv]

It's just, you know, it's a fun gameplay element. Every now and then maybe I get knocked out. And then you have to play as the small boy. And then you have like, ooh, new gameplay mechanics. And shoots a bow and arrow.

[Doug Boone]

Is this like Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Perfect. Yes.

[Tolv]

No. Yes.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

No.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

That's to big Donkey Kong fan. Got it. Okay.

[Natty]

My favorite part in Donkey Kong is when he pulls out his battle axe

[Doug Boone]

and the frigid ice where monkeys live.

[Tolv]

Well, anyway, I would call it, I don't know, Lord of Battle.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah.

[Tolv]

Yeah. That's very good.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, we can workshop that. I don't want to play that. I think you're onto something.

[Tolv]

Cory Balrog would drink it.

[Natty]

There actually was a Donkey Kong game that was set in the ice.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

So you're not far off. Barbara Jay.

[Doug Boone]

I learned.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

And they did give Mario a gun in Mario Rabbids.

[Doug Boone]

Mario's got a gun.

[Natty]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Which is bizarre.

[Natty]

Donkey Kong has guns. In Donkey Kong 64, they had guns.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

It's been a while.

[Natty]

They shot fruit.

[Tolv]

But technically they all do in Super Smash as well.

[Natty]

They can hold a gun. Yeah, they do get guns.

[Doug Boone]

That's true.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Wow. Okay. They gave that monkey a gun. Watch out. All right, next up, I believe is Gunther with a six.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Hi, I'm Kristen merrissnapple. Gunther, the male Grogvog fighter. And I would like to say that if I was to play and make a game, it would be a farming simulator. It would be you would get to raise bugs and put them in the farm and take care of them and get to know people in the village. And I would call it Hoppin Hoe Valley.

[Doug Boone]

Oh, h o e. H o e.

[Natty]

Why not Bug Rancher.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

That's a good name too. I like that too.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Pretty good.

[Natty]

Because you don't farm bugs. They're.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

They're.

[Natty]

They're livestock.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Well, there's you. You still have to farm the food. And then Such, you know, guys, I

[Barbara Dunkelman]

want to play all of these.

[Natty]

Wait, what do flies eat?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

I was, I was going to ask, what are you farming to feed a fly?

[Natty]

That's a genuine question. Because I don't know.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

So what you must do is you must. They generally prefer the feces of other animals. So we grow. We grow other. We farm other animals to then farm their poop for the flies.

[Doug Boone]

Circle a laugh. You know what I'm saying?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Your neighbors must love you. Gunther.

[Natty]

There was.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Sorry.

[Natty]

Quick little story of California living with Micah and John. There was a portion of California where we would drive through and it was like where all the cows were. I, not having a sense of smell, never experienced this, but randomly we were driving through and then everyone in the car be like, oh. And they would smell the, like the, the cow area and I'd be like, oh, what's that? And so I was missing out on life.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

There was a high density feedlot just outside of the town I grew up in. And every now and then when the wind shifted wrong, it was, yuck.

[Tolv]

That's why you smell like that.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, it's been, it's been like 30 years and I'm still trying to wash it off.

[Natty]

Steeped into his pores.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

DNA also really, really makes you wonder about the stuff you're eating when you grow up seeing stuff like that. Just going to leave that there.

[Doug Boone]

That's dark.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, okay. Anyway, on a lighter note, some Dungeons and Dragons. So in the previous episode.

[Doug Boone]

You guys, we haven't done him yet.

[Private Mark Book]

Oh.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Man, look at me trying to move things along.

[Tolv]

Recording this at 2:00am Sorry, everybody.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Oh, Natty, have you been standing there the whole time?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

You scared me.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Boo.

[Natty]

You can skip me, I don't care.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Natty]

I, if, if I were to. I never really have a lot of time to play video games. Although I mostly just shove him in Giggy's face so he occupies himself for at least a few minutes.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

IPad kid. Yep.

[Natty]

But you know, I was listening to Gunther talk and I'm like, you know, a farming simulator does sound kind of fun. But I, I would like it if it had sort of like a, a death element to it. Cause you know how much I love that. And so what if it was like graveyard themed? You know, and that's, and that's what I would work at is I'd work at like a graveyard place and I'd go get the dead and I'd be in charge of burying him and taking care of the field where all the dead are and decorating it with all my favorite accoutrements.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah. When does Diddy Kong come in, though?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

That's the question.

[Natty]

He's the yardkeeper. He's the one that just goes around.

[Tolv]

Sean, I. I actually kind of want to play it.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Sounds fun.

[Natty]

You're like, it exists. Does it? Yeah.

[Tolv]

Graveyard sim.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

It sounds almost like Roller Coaster Tycoon, except you're managing a graveyard and, you know, laying it out and, you know, working on your income and upkeep and everything.

[Natty]

Is Blaine Googling it right now?

[Tolv]

I'm on steam right now looking at it.

[Natty]

It sounds awesome, man.

[Doug Boone]

I do a graveyard sim, and, boy, business is great.

[Tolv]

Lots of people dying.

[Micah Reisinger]

What?

[Natty]

Graveyard Keeper? Is that what it's called?

[Tolv]

Graveyard Simulator?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I don't know.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

That's.

[Natty]

No, super.

[Tolv]

Looks cute.

[Natty]

Yeah. It's basically Stardew Valley plus dead people, and you harvest, like, stuff from the dead people to be used. But, yeah, it's actually really fun. It's actually a really good game.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Sounds cute. It sounds like a fun concept.

[Natty]

It is. It is. It's like Stardew cute, but death.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Ooh, Wait, which. What is it called?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Graveyard. Graveyard Keeper. Graveyard Keeper. Everyone's furiously searching Steam right now.

[Tolv]

Crypt Keeper was taken.

[Doug Boone]

I just want to play Roller Coaster Tycoon now. Personally, you guys mentioned that, and I went, oh, yeah.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

I saw a YouTube video about it the other day, so it's fresh in my mind.

[Doug Boone]

I love that game.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

So good. You move the tapestry aside, and behind the tapestry, you see a bloodied and restrained bun lap.

[Tolv]

No.

[Natty]

Natty goes to try to remove his face, see if he's a fake.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Who are you?

[Natty]

Who are you?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

You try to pull at it, but his face is actually there.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

It's a real face.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

It's a real face.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Okay, Gunter, Is that a real bun lap?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

I don't hope so. Kanto runs over and tries to restrain him. Yeah.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

He's got a gag in his mouth and restraints holding him. And you're able to free him. And it looks like he's been worked over. He's pretty bloodied and beat up.

[Doug Boone]

Can I cast cure wounds on him?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, and it seems to really help. Like, you cast cure wounds. I'll let you roll. Whatever the healing is here.

[Doug Boone]

Five points of healing.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Five points. And it seems like that kind of energizes him. He can really breathe, and he seems like.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Like his eyes clear up and he can look at you. He's taller than most croak folk. Muscular and knightly. He's got dreamy golden eyes.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Very dreamy.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

They're very fierce and they fix on you. Gunther, he says. Gunther, thank you for coming back.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

I'm sorry I left.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Think nothing of it. It is what needed to happen. But Gunther, you need to help me escape now.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Of course. I'm sorry. Let us go. Yes, Let us go.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

And Gunther, I have something I need to tell you.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

What?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

I know where the Wilder Shield is. A group of archers arrive at the metal hatch in the ceiling. Peering down and seeing you all, and seeing the Warden fallen on the ground, they begin loosing a volley of arrows from above at you all. Why doesn't everyone roll me a dexterity saving throw?

[Doug Boone]

Ooh. 5.

[Natty]

17.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

19.

[Tolv]

It's now 1. But I'm a barbarian, so I get dexterity.

[Doug Boone]

He's a Barbie butt meat bun.

[Tolv]

There he is. A natural one. Yeah.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

All right.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

And can I make try to block Bunlap? Because I don't. Did we untie him? What's his.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, he's there. He's a little woozy. Why don't you roll to assist him? And if you roll well, I'll add a two to his save.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Okay.

[Tolv]

If you roll bad, he's a pincushion.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Thirteen.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Thirteen.

[Natty]

Okay.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Now I'm gonna roll bundlaps here. All right. So 17. And you rolled a 13. Okay. Everyone does pretty good. Except for Doug, I think. Doug, you were probably looking in the wrong direction. And everyone is pointing up at the archers as they surround the hatch. And you turn and look just to see.

[Natty]

Someone yelled duck. And Doug just started looking around for ducks.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Cause he loves ducks.

[Doug Boone]

I thought they were calling me. So I just was like, yeah, Doug.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

A volley of arrows fall all around. Everyone's able to avoid the arrows, except for Doug, who takes 14 points of piercing down. Wow. We got some Doug skewers.

[Doug Boone]

I know whenever I make that noise, it's going to get a laugh from Blaine.

[Tolv]

Every time over the holidays, I show that to my nephew because I was looking. You need to know this. This is part of our history.

[Doug Boone]

All right. 14 points piercing damage. He said.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah. As you're hovering over him, trying to protect him, Gunther Bundlap looks up at you and says, I know of another door, but I am unsure where it leads.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

That is all that we have to go on. I say we go.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I like the way another door sounds right now.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

He begins hobbling over to the northern tapestry and pulls the tapestry aside, revealing a bulkhead door with a. It's called a dog, but it's like a wheel. Like a crank on it.

[Natty]

Okay.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

And he says, Here it is.

[Tolv]

Is there any signage or anything like that on it? Anything to indicate what this door's purpose is?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, it's a big sign that says teddy bear and puppy room.

[Tolv]

Let's go.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

No, there's no sign. There's nothing on it. It's just a metal door with the dog on it.

[Natty]

It just says on it septic tank.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh, hey, listen, an exit's an exit.

[Doug Boone]

Could Doug come up and try to help crank it open? It sounds like it's a crank, you said? Yeah.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

You begin working at it. Make me a strength check, Doug, just for funsies.

[Natty]

Oh, big boy. Big strength.

[Private Mark Book]

12.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

It begins slowly moving, little by little. It's kind of that thing where at first it's really stuck, and then it doesn't seem to be moving. But then as you get like a little bit of momentum, it begins, like, slowly going quicker and quicker and becomes easier and easier. Then as opening, you feel like it's pressing in. Then all of a sudden, it blasts open and icy water begins surging in, filling the room, slowly flooding the dungeon. Everyone make another dexterity saving throw.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Way to go, bun lap.

[Tolv]

I'm really liking this guy. I said I didn't know where it went.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah.

[Tolv]

All right. Sneak 2.0.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Eighteen.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

21.

[Tolv]

A seven and then a nine.

[Natty]

Dirty 20.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Okay. All of you manage to steel yourselves and hold your footing against the onslaught of icy water. Except for Tol, who loses his footing and falls down, becoming partially submerged below the water.

[Tolv]

Feel the rain on your skin.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

So you take a level of exhaustion from the water on your skin.

[Natty]

And being submerged, he's used to being underwater.

[Tolv]

Yeah, right. I'm level two exhaustion now.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Uh oh. What does that mean? Does it tell you?

[Tolv]

Okay, it says while you have the exhaustion condition, you experience the following effects. Exhaustion levels. This condition is cumulative. Each time you receive it, you gain one exhaustion level. You die if your exhaustion is level 6. D20 test effects. When you make a D20 test, the roll is reduced by two times your exhaustion level. Speed reduced. Let me see. Your speed is reduced by a number of feet equal to five times your exhaustion level. So I lose 10ft. And then to remove exhaustion, finishing a long rest removes one of your exhaustion levels. When your exhaustion level reaches zero as the condition ends.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Oof.

[Natty]

So truncated version of that at all.

[Doug Boone]

He's tired.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

We're gonna. Yeah, we're gonna homebrew that a bit. Just because, as we saw there, that's a mouthful and a lot. So we'll metagame wise, we'll say that it's minus two on checks. Since you have two levels of exhaustion, I'll take it. That's a lot to keep track of. On top of the exhaustion, everyone takes a little bit of cold damage from explosion experiencing the icy water flooding over them. Toll takes eight points of damage. Everyone else takes four. Four.

[Doug Boone]

Okay.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

It's cheerfully baby background.

[Tolv]

Is he gonna say it? I was like, no, I'll let that one pass me.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Take an inspiration die. That was good.

[Doug Boone]

First inspiration die of the day.

[Tolv]

This is what happens when I don't take my jokes.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

You gotta have confidence in them.

[Tolv]

All right, how about this barbecue sauce?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

That was pretty good. But no, no, no. Hat on a hat. Okay, what's the plan here? Who's team leader? What are you doing?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Is it possible to get through the thing, the hole with the water coming out, or do we have to wait for it to fill up past it?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

It would be difficult, but you think you could probably try to wade and force your way through?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

We shall push, push, push.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Okay. Should we all just get together and push together and stay kind of as like one being?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yeah, sure.

[Tolv]

And then Tolov will bring out his shield if the archers try to take pot shots to block them. So I'll hold that up.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Good. So I like what you're doing there, Blaine. So that's actually. That kind of plays into what I was going to say. It's like whoever's team leader, maybe you should like lead the charge, choose what you want to do, you know, come up with a scenario and we'll do like a roll a D20, add a skill bonus that you think is applicable to it, and then everyone else can describe how you want to collaborate like Po just did. And, you know, we can, we can make some rolls on that. See, see what shakes out.

[Tolv]

Torv did a good.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Okay, so I guess I'll. Gunther can go first with Bunlet behind him. And then like maybe we hold onto each other's foot or something and try and pull each other through while releasing each other's toes.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, yeah. So you just kind of. Kind of brute force through with Bundlap then? Yeah. That sounds like a strength based check to me. Is that correct?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Sure, yeah. Strength.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Okay. Before you roll or do anything, we're going to go ahead and go around and have everyone else get. Continue to build it out. It could also be athletics, but we'll get to that in a minute. So Tove already said how he's going to help. What kind of skill do you think that would be? Like dexterity or some kind Or I guess maybe you could use like a specific skill instead of just an attribute.

[Tolv]

They could do any number of things. I guess that's.

[Natty]

Is that athletics?

[Tolv]

I don't know as it's coming in. Or maybe perception to perceive when they're flying at us to block arrows.

[Private Mark Book]

I don't know.

[Tolv]

I'm so rusty. Gus, help.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Well, I would say athletics is more strength based, which. Which could work. I mean, I could see that working in my mind. It was more of a dexterity thing, kind of like armor class. But I mean, athletics also kind of covers that too. If you want to do that.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Let's do athletics.

[Tolv]

See, because that's the thing that I have the highest modifier on.

[Natty]

So.

[Tolv]

Yeah, fell right into my trap. That's 19 minus 2 from exhaustion. 17.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Oh, that's really good. Yeah. Who else wants to go? We know Bunlap's plan hasn't been executed yet. We know how Tove's helping. We got Doug and Maddie still.

[Doug Boone]

Maddie, I don't know if I could do this, but I have Gambot with me always, of course. So I want to hold him kind of like at his feet and have him do his force empowered rend where his head pops up. But because he's mushroom shaped and he's sideways, so his head will pop forward and pull back, which should propel me forward if I'm holding onto him.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kind of like what you see, like special forces using underwater, like one of those little things they hold onto that kind of like propels them around. Yeah, yeah. What kind of check do you think that would be? What kind of skill would you use for that?

[Doug Boone]

I would think it would be some type of. I was gonna say animal handling.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

I could see it being some kind of dexterity. Acrobatic.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah.

[Doug Boone]

Because if it's holding on to something,

[Natty]

can we work on making Gambot into like Rush from Mega Man? And he just turns into anything that Doug needs. I mean, he's already got the spring thing, like Rush. Now he can turn into the little underwater little thing that he just kind of rides on through the water.

[Tolv]

Cowabunga. And he turns into a car.

[Doug Boone]

What a genius idea.

[Tolv]

Thank you. Yeah.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Why don't you just pick a skill and let's. Let's roll it there.

[Doug Boone]

I'll do acrobatics. I think that makes sense.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, go ahead and roll that beautiful bean footage.

[Doug Boone]

That's a 16.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Oh, that's another good roll. All right, good. Great. Then. Last up is Natty. What are you going to do in

[Natty]

this scenario, I think Natty would see that removing herself from this problem would make it easier than everybody else. And so she would grab Doug's hand and would say, I liked it so much, I put a ring on it. And she put her ring on Doug and then would go in her ring with Gigi.

[Tolv]

Nice.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Well, I don't know. Oh, look, Barbara's got a ring on. Natty's in there.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah, I have her aura.

[Tolv]

Not sponsored, by the way.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Why don't you make a sleight of hand check there, Natty, just to see if you're able to slip that on there.

[Natty]

15 plus 3. 18.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Wow. Three good checks, three good rolls. All right, so behind the scenes, I'll tell you now, the reason I was having you all describe your stuff before we did Chris's is if you all rolled bad. I was gonna add negative modifiers to his roll, but you all did good. So we're gonna get a plus three to whatever Chris roll is here.

[Natty]

Did you not tell us that because you thought if you did, we would all try to roll bad to, like, make it harder on Chris?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

No, I don't want, like, it to have a bearing on your decision, if that makes sense. All right, Chris, what did we say you were rolling? Athletics.

[Natty]

Well, I had a thought.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Oh, here we go. Now,

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

survival. Avoid natural hazards.

[Tolv]

Okay.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

And find a path.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Okay, I believe it.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

That's a 14.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Then we're gonna add three, which is 17.

[Doug Boone]

You're welcome.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

You begin, like, forcing your way and pushing forward against the torrent of water. However, as you're. As you're doing so, is Gunther right handed or left handed?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Right.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Okay. You know, you're putting your right hand forward, pressing forward up against the water, but the water's so cold, you feel your right hand and your right arm becoming, like, really cold and frozen, like you're having the effects of some kind of, like, frostbite on your arm, which makes it kind of slow and difficult to move.

[Natty]

It was an icy lake outside.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yes.

[Tolv]

Chris refuses to answer if he's right handed or left handed. It's part of his backstory.

[Doug Boone]

He said right, and then he did this, like, small, little, like, gaze at Gus.

[Natty]

That was a very steep little face. It was a shifty little face to

[Tolv]

check if Gunther is lying. Yeah.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

No, it was me being Trying to remember if I've established it.

[Tolv]

18. No, he's mix handed.

[Doug Boone]

You could probably look at fan art or your character art of Gunther and see where he's going.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

We could go to store.stinkydragonpod.com and check out Gunther merchandise, like the shirts. That's true. And see what it looks like.

[Tolv]

I'm actually going to do that right now.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Oh yeah. That's what I should have said. For the video game. There's already a shirt that's like in the style of a video game.

[Tolv]

I didn't want to say anything, but I was like, missed opportunity.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yeah, gosh darn it.

[Natty]

And it was not even a farming simulator.

[Private Mark Book]

Yeah, I know.

[Natty]

It's based on like JRPGs from like the SNES era.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

It's one of those things where they bait, switch you with the art where it looks all cool and then you boot it up and it's a farming simulator. It's true.

[Natty]

Hey everybody. John here.

[Micah Reisinger]

Can we all just agree that when

[Natty]

we're banking we just all assume that at some point we're going to be surprised with like a fee that we didn't know that we signed up for in the fine print of some sort of contract or like if we have an accidental overdraft now we've also got

[Micah Reisinger]

fees attached to it.

[Natty]

Well, I'd like to talk to you about an alternative that fixes all that. It's called Chime. Chime is in fact changing the way that people like you can bank. And it's fee free. And it's smarter banking that's built just for you. So you can forget overdraft fees, you can forget minimum balance fees, you can even forget monthly fees. And they turn everyday spending into like an actual real rewards program. And they do that with their new product called the Chime Card. It's this new way that you can build credit history with your own money. You also get rewarded and it's every single day with your purchases. So this new card and unlocks safer credit building and cash back with everyday spending. And it's all together at last in one card. There's no annual fees, no interest and no strings attached. And when you get qualifying direct deposits, you get 1.5% cash back on eligible Chime Card purchases. How awesome is that? So Chime is not just smarter banking. It is in fact the most rewarding way to bank.

[Micah Reisinger]

So join the millions who are already

[Natty]

banking fee free today. It just takes a few minutes to sign up. So head on over to chime.comdragon that is chime.com dragon Chime is a financial

[Doug Boone]

technology company, not a bank. Banking services a secured Chime Visa credit card and MyPay line of credit provided by the Bancor Bank N.A. or Stride Bank N.A. myPay eligibility requirements apply and credit limit ranges $20 to $500. Optional services and products may have fees or charges. See chime.com feesinfo advertised annual percentage yield with Chime+status only. Otherwise 1.00% APY applies. No min B ChimeCard on time payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score. Results may vary. See chime.com for details and applicable terms.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Starting something new isn't just hard, it's terrifying. So much work goes into this thing that you're not entirely sure it's going to work out. And it can be hard to make that leap of faith. Trust me, I know. When you know, we started this podcast, we were. We weren't sure what we were doing. You know, well, what if the audience doesn't move with us? What if, you know, we make even bigger fools of ourselves? What if no one buys our products? Now? I know we were right in believing in ourselves and launching this podcast independently despite, you know, all those fears and hesitations. And it can also help when you have a partner like Shopify on your side. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Aviator Nation or Gymshark to brands that are just getting started. Get started with your own design studio. With hundreds of ready to use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style. Get the word out like you have a marketing team behind you. You can easily create email and social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling. And best yet, Shopify is your commerce expert with world class expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and beyond. What if people haven't heard about your brand? Well, Shopify helps you find customers with easy to run email and social media campaigns. What if you get stuck? Well, Shopify is always around to share advice with their award winning 24. 7 customer support. It's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify Today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial at shopify.comdragon go to shopify.comdragon again, that's shopify.comdragon a thoughtfully built wardrobe comes down to pieces that mix well and last. And that's where Quince shines. It's premium fabrics, considered design and everyday essentials that feel effortless to wear and dependable even as the seasons change. Quince has the everyday essentials I love with quality that lasts from lightweight cashmere sweaters, short sleeve mongolian Cashmere polos, linen bottoms and shorts, tees and 100 Pima cotton European jersey linen. These are the versatile pieces that make a wardrobe actually work season to season. Quince works directly with top factories and cuts out the middlemen. You're not paying for brand markup, fancy retail stores, just quality clothing. The cashmere, 100% Mongolian. Same stuff luxury brands use. Pima cotton's long staple, which means it stays soft. It doesn't pill. The European jersey linen is breathable and lightweight. Everything's built to hold up to regular wear and still look good. Their clothing's rated between four and a half and five stars by thousands of people wearing it every day. And they only partner with factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. I've got a couple linen pieces. I've got linen shorts I wear around the house. They're my go to. They don't wrinkle. They're super. I'm wearing them right now, actually, and I've got. I. I don't know. I mean, I'm in a linen phase right now and I feel like Quint is right up my alley. I've got stuff that I really love from them. So stop over complicating your wardrobe. Don't need a closet full of options. You just need a few pieces that actually work right now. Go to quint.comdragon for free shipping and 365 day returns. That's a full year to build your wardrobe and love it and you will now available in Canada too. Don't keep selling. For clothes that don't last, go to Quince. That's Q-U-I-N C E.com Dragon for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Dragon. You all, you know, press forward against the water, emerging submerged in the icy lake and begin swimming your way up. You pop up on the surface of the water, on the surface of the lake and look around and all of you make me perception checks.

[Natty]

I'm not gonna.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Oh, not you. You're in the ring.

[Natty]

I'm enjoying a nice little cup of tea in my little boudoir.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Natty. I'll tell you what I see, okay?

[Doug Boone]

I'm like talking into the.

[Natty]

And the room is like shaking

[Tolv]

dirty. 20 minus 2 from exhaustion.

[Micah Reisinger]

18.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Oh, I forgot to incorporate the. I have a level of exhaustion too.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

All right, so minus one for you.

[Doug Boone]

I am 23 on that roll.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

That would be a six then.

[Tolv]

Didn't we see a man get eaten by like a giant crocodile?

[Doug Boone]

Can do, Cody.

[Natty]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

By a cryodile.

[Tolv]

Yeah, I'm sure that was something that won't bother us.

[Doug Boone]

Voiced by our friend Andy Blanchard for about two seconds.

[Tolv]

Was it? Yeah, that was his big break. Yeah.

[Natty]

We gotta let Andy do a different voice.

[Tolv]

No, no, no, he had his shot.

[Natty]

I want that audio file of his. What? He turned in Poor Andy.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah. You look around and you see. You catch glimpses of a cryodile in the distance, grabbing someone and dragging them down to the depths, which puzzles you for a second. And then you realize that there's prisoners escaping from the tower. Some are attempting to climb down the exterior. Some are climbing across the gangplank over to the guard tower. Some are jumping into the lake, and it's just a madhouse. And one of you had, like, a 23 on your perception roll, right? Was that Doug? Doug. Furthermore, you noticed something that seems a little strange? Well, not strange, but there is something about this prison break in the neighborhood that catches your eye. You note that all of the undarian prisoners appear to be running in the same direction.

[Doug Boone]

Which direction are they running in?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Northeast.

[Doug Boone]

Northeast? Does it seem like they're running towards something?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Or like that's the direction you all were heading in? That's towards Mito Canyon.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Mito Canyon?

[Tolv]

Isn't that the battlefield or battle line or whatever?

[Natty]

Mm. Uh. Oh, front line.

[Doug Boone]

Are any of them close enough to hear us? If we were to, like, yell something

[Gustavo Sorrol]

at them from where you are in the lake? I believe I said this is about 100ft or so. And that's if they were on the very bank, like, closest to you, so minimum.

[Doug Boone]

Gotcha. Could I ask Bunlap why they might be going that direction? Because I assume we're all now out of the rushing water and stuff, Correct?

[Natty]

Need you to say it like Doug is cold.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

So, okay, Why are they all running towards that area, towards Meo Canyon?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

I don't know. Perhaps they are going into battle.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Perhaps. You're just as mysterious as Gunther, aren't you?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Well, I mean, metagame wise, he doesn't necessarily know he's been imprisoned. He's been getting tortured for a while.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah, I just.

[Doug Boone]

I guess I would assume that if all the prisoners are running a certain direction, he might, as a prisoner, know if there's been something discussed or, like, something that they'd want to get to.

[Tolv]

Well, gang, if that's the front line, then they could be potentially ambushing our friends from behind. So, like, we should stop there.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Maybe we should.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I mean, we do have to go to Mito Canyon anyways. At Least personally.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

So, yeah, they are at some distance and they're, you know, continuing. You all are still in the lake. It'll take you a little while, you know, to swim to the shore and get out.

[Tolv]

But if we ambush the ambush, then we will be promoted to whatever's after private.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Listen, General, this is like the corporate world, right? If you are proactive and fix a problem before it happens, you don't get credit. If you wait for the problem to happen and then address it, then you're the hero.

[Doug Boone]

Guess that's too real.

[Tolv]

There's a lot of old Gus coming out right now and I'm scared. I'm in business with this man.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

I worked corporate job for several years and it was garbage.

[Doug Boone]

Guys, we're the C suite now. All of us.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

So you all make your way to the shore, by which point it seems like the crowds have thinned out and the Undarians are but a memory. It would be nighttime. It might be a good time to perhaps make camp and take a rest and deal with some of this exhaustion and recover from your ordeal that you all have undertaken metagame wise. I'd encourage you all to make camp right here.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Could we go to our little blanket camp?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Oh, yeah, you all left like your blanket camp out here. Yeah, you could revisit that if you want.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

So should we take a little long rest here?

[Tolv]

Game?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yeah, wouldn't love that.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

So it's, you know, like I said, it's nighttime, it's moonlit, it's cold, there's a snow falling, and you're in a lightly wooded area with prisoners running everywhere, mountains in the distance. The prisoners have dissipated. It's not as many. Every now and then there's a random stray one. Why don't each of you take turns briefly telling me one feature about the campground.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

There's a lot of snow. This area is just a lot of snows, it seems. There's also like a weird snow angel. It looks like someone tried to make at some point. I think that might have been one of the prisoners. I don't know if that was any of us. They were just so excited about being free.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

And they're angels because they're just misunderstood.

[Doug Boone]

Exactly.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

And no trees around anywhere, it seems like, which is weird.

[Natty]

I'll go next. Okay, so as usual, when we do set up camp, I've set my Gigi stick up and that's basically just a stick I put in the ground and then attach his leash to. And then that just kind of restricts how far he can go before I have to go find him. And if I'm lucky, he just goes around in a circle and he makes that shorter and shorter and shorter.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Smart. Real smart. That's experience speaking.

[Tolv]

Imagine you have to use like a

[Natty]

fence post thing, like industrial pole. If it doesn't go three feet down, it's not worth it. That boy's got strength.

[Tolv]

I'll go next. So Torv was going to be nice, cook a nice warm meal for everybody. He happened to find a cauldron while we were escaping, you know, and things were like, floating out of the prison. And so he got some snow, boiled it, put it over the fire. But I think somewhere in the process, when I stepped away, like, Gunther and Bunlap thought it was like a Jacuzzi. So they're just like chilling in there now. I'm not going to stop them. It seems like they need to get to reunite and warm up. So I'm just gonna, you know, let it happen.

[Natty]

Frog legs.

[Tolv]

Yeah, well, no, we're not going to eat them. No death Jacuzzi.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

And I imagine for the camp, it's a bunch of. We've created like a blanket fort. Not fort. It's all on the ground so that we just crawl underneath it. And it keeps us kind of hidden, and then it's all warm. So we're using the snow as a insulation.

[Tolv]

Like a wind cover.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yeah, like, so we're just like.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

It's almost like a makeshift igloo of sorts.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yeah. But like just kind of a trench. Trench that we're just kind of getting in.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

All right, everyone. Everyone cuddle in the dug. Body heat.

[Doug Boone]

Natty's still in the ring.

[Natty]

No, we'll say Natty got out of the ring for camping.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Because I could snuggle it close.

[Natty]

Although it's nicer in the ring, I'll tell you that.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, it's like bespoke. Exactly how you want it in there.

[Natty]

Yeah.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Could I but hold it for just a moment?

[Natty]

I didn't like how you phrased that.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Nope, nope.

[Natty]

You gotta work on your emphasis on which word you did that. Okay.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I think Gunther thinks this ring is kind of precious.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

It is very precious.

[Tolv]

So can I lose all of my exhaustion or do I keep one level?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

What do the rules say?

[Tolv]

I know what the rules say. I'm asking what gun rules.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Okay.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Okay.

[Tolv]

That's my Christmas gift.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

As you all are walking around and taking in the sights, Bundlap turns to talk to you, Gunther. And you see, like, he takes in a deep breath of fresh air. He's wringing his muscular Wrists where there's manacle shaped bruises. He looks at you with a knowing look, Gunther, and says, I know where the wielder shield is. My sources in prison told me of an innkeeper that saw a flower shaped shield. It was near the ruins of Chimera Keep. We will go there together, just as we first set out as brothers. And he reaches out for like a warrior's grip. Like, you know, like that forearm handshake.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Gunther reaches out, but then look. Takes his hand, but then looks down. I'm just sorry that I've. That I left you in there for so long. I was. I escaped. And then was afraid.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

It's okay, Gunther. I understand.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

No, you do not. You have no fear. You have never had fear.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Everyone has fear. That's what gives us courage. Without fear, we never have the reason to rise.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Whoa.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

That's. Well, I'm writing that one down.

[Tolv]

Yeah, sorry to overhear. I know you don't want us to know what your secret quest is, but.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Bars.

[Doug Boone]

You guys are just.

[Natty]

Just eavesdropping into this personal moment.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Together we will reclaim the Wilder Shield. And with it our village's honor. And our honor, Gunther. We'll return to Fly Flats as heroes. But first we must rest. For my bones are wearying from that cursed prison.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yes. Yes, brother. Yes. We shall do it.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah. Do you. So, do you clasp his arm?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yes. Then I take it. And I grasp it fully.

[Doug Boone]

You guys are having a conversation in the Jacuzzi, right?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yes, in the Jacuz.

[Tolv]

Frog arms are sticking out.

[Doug Boone]

Yes, brother, yes.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

The bubbles. Your forearm is very cold, Gunther.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yes.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Tomorrow, Gunther. Tomorrow we fulfill our destinies.

[Natty]

Oh, no. When they say that in stories, that means tomorrow we are doing everything.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

But Bundlab gives you a nod and, you know, wanders over to like a makeshift bed to take a rest.

[Tolv]

He grabs a towel and wraps it around his waist and walks over to him. His little hair up in a little towel as well.

[Natty]

And then Captain Grumble, seeing the spa is available, he gets in the spa. Now,

[Tolv]

you mentioned earlier that Bunlap had muscular wrists. Is he still a croak folk, but like shredded?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

He's pretty buff. He's a very.

[Natty]

What do you do in prison?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

He's just ripped.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Red bit.

[Doug Boone]

Nice.

[Natty]

It's like a battle toad.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So everyone denoted a long rest, right?

[Tolv]

Yes, sir.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Natty.

[Natty]

What?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

You wake up and you look around and you're half buried in sand. No moon, no stars. Only blackness that gradually meets a horizon of dim purple black sand dunes, ripple with labyrinthian spirals. And at the center of the spirals are small cairns. Between dunes are shallow streams of mist that continue on past the horizon.

[Tolv]

Cool snooze button.

[Natty]

Natty just starts kind of playing with the sand and putting her hand in the sand. Cause she likes this place. She knows where she's at. And she's like, oh, yeah. And so she likes the. This is familiar territory. It's soothing to her.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah. You recognize this as being in the coil, which, like you said, is a place, you know.

[Natty]

Yeah. It's like when you play your jazz music really well and you get in that groove.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah. And you see your wife, the silent steed. My wife. My wife, she conjures an hourglass of black sand. But you notice it's not filled with very much sand. There's just a short amount of time you have to talk. I am afraid this visit will have to be short. The ending is nigh. Natty, Gigi must not fail. The fate of this world and more depends on it.

[Natty]

We're that close. I thought I had more time.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

No, show him the path.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

It may be a path filled with music.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

The hourglass empties and you begin sinking into the black once more.

[Tolv]

Right.

[Natty]

Just about that.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

About that.

[Natty]

I don't have my Idaharp anymore.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

The sand's in your mouth. You can't talk.

[Tolv]

Oh, no.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

You wake up gasping for breath, spitting out sand.

[Natty]

Natty just makes that look of just like off into the distance. Just like. I've made a huge mistake.

[Doug Boone]

Was our first mistake. Trusting a child with the future of the universe.

[Natty]

No, no, that's fine. But I gave up my auto heart.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

You wake up and you find something in your hands. Black sand.

[Natty]

Is it an autoharp?

[Micah Reisinger]

No.

[Tolv]

Dang.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Sifts through your fingertips and it reveals an autoharp.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

What?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

What? Wait, really?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah. It's the autoharp of auto tune. And Micah has already added that to your inventory. If you look, you will see it in there.

[Doug Boone]

Wow.

[Tolv]

Sleight of hand.

[Doug Boone]

Full service. D and D right here.

[Natty]

I love it.

[Tolv]

Okay. What'd you get me?

[Natty]

Auto tune. Do you want me to give a little description?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Please.

[Natty]

Let me see. Let me just see what I should read.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Hey, can I make a request? Can you. Can you describe it? And like with a rhythm that then can be auto tuned.

[Natty]

Can I make a request? You don't request. Because I'm reading through this for the first time. Here's the description. It's a wondrous atomic, crafted from shady pinewood. That's where I'm From a dark, cool gray wood with veins of bioluminescent purple and pink running through it. The frame of the harp has dark arcane symbols etched into it. And the strings are almost invisible to the human eye. Unless the light catches them just right, giving them a prismatic glimmering effect. This acclaimed auto harp never loses its. Its tune and offers mystical modulation to its musician.

[Tolv]

Best I can do is $55.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Sorry.

[Natty]

Should I tell you what it does or should I leave that for a surprise later?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Do you like surprises?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Do you like surprises?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Come with me.

[Doug Boone]

Have you guys seen that?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

No. No.

[Natty]

It has abilities. And they're gonna surprise you later.

[Tolv]

Cool.

[Natty]

But it's beautiful. I love it. And Natty starts playing a little song.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Great song.

[Natty]

Just me. Just like musical. No, no, no words, Gunther.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

You wake up, up, and instead of black sand in your hands, there's nothing.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Duh.

[Natty]

Why would you say that? Because what's the point? What about oven does?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Instead of getting something? I think Gunther lost something again.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

What?

[Natty]

What? Oh.

[Tolv]

Bun Lap's gone, isn't he?

[Natty]

What happened?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Bunlap is gone.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

What you find?

[Natty]

He couldn't deal with the outside world. He went back to the prison. He's been. What is that called? Naturalized or something? Institutionalized.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Institutionalized. That's. You Find a note pinned to your tunic.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Get busy living or get busy dying.

[Tolv]

And eat Frog Frayne.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Do you remember the name of the place? Zuataneo.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

I sent you the. The what? The note says if you want to read it. Gunther.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Do you like surprises?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Okay. Yeah. I think Gunther would get really sad.

[Natty]

You want to share with us? Why?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Are the others awake?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah.

[Natty]

Natty starts playing an alarm sound.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Bun Lap is gone.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

When did you notice he left?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

I just. Now he has left me a note.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

What did it say? And did he say anything last night before, you know, that would indicate that he might leave today?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

No. He says the Wilder Flower visited him in his dreams. And she says that I am not the devoted Crow folk I once were. She says it is up to him to retrieve the Wilder Shield.

[Natty]

That's one less thing we gotta do.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I was gonna say that makes our job a little easier.

[Natty]

Sorry, sorry, sorry. That totally got the moment.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

He says thank you for his freedom. And he hopes our paths cross once more.

[Tolv]

Can tolve approach, Gunther? You know, Gunther, I know that things are really tricky right now with your deity. But ultimately, you did do a good thing by letting Bunlap go. And you should take comfort in the fact that you redeemed yourself in that way. And I know that it's hard.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

I have not redeemed myself.

[Tolv]

Well, you freed your friend, you know, you felt like you had betrayed him for so long, so you fixed that. You've done better. You've done good by your friend.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

But I have no honor.

[Tolv]

You have plenty of honor in my eyes, Gunther.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I think you could also work to gain back your honor, you know. Yeah, that's something that. You know. It might.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

You're right.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Go away temporarily to some people. But no, if you know deep down that you're honorable, you get it back.

[Tolv]

Yeah.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

No, you're correct. I must prove. I must prove that I am worthy.

[Tolv]

Yes.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

I will not let Bunlap to face this on his own.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Perfect.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Right.

[Tolv]

And we won't let you face that on your own either.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Right?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Right, gang friends?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Right, Tov.

[Tolv]

Right, Daddy.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

All right.

[Natty]

And Captain Grumbles gives a big group hug for everybody.

[Tolv]

He feels bitching. My ear, Captain Grumbles.

[Natty]

He's just nibbling on you.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

But I must go to Chimera Keep. It's the only place I know to go.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Do you know if. If that's in Mino Canyon? Because then two birds, one stone.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yeah. Do I know if?

[Tolv]

Was it Chimera Keep?

[Natty]

While we're trying to figure out how to say this place, I don't want to alarm anybody, but I did get a little bit of message that we might need to hurry up from my wife.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah, I think we should take that kind of order maybe a little seriously.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Then do we know where Chimera Keep is?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Please hold. Your question is very important to us here at Tales from the Stinky Dragon. All of our DMs are currently busy. We'll get to you as soon as we can.

[Tolv]

I love this song. Oh, wow. Take your time. I love that. Yeah. Can't believe they got the rights to this.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Thank you for holding. We're working hard to assist other players. And we'll get with you as well, soon as we possible.

[Tolv]

Thought they had us back. I thought they were back. No, the MIDI version is quite good.

[Natty]

Remember when Gus said we had a lot to get through? Hello.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Thank you for calling Tales of a Stinky Dragon. I'm your dungeon master, Gustavus Arolla. How can I assist you today?

[Tolv]

No arrows, thanks. We've been through that. We're looking for where Chimera is.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Oh, that's just beyond Mito Canyon. So if you continue heading to the northeast, past Mido Canyon, you'll find Chimera Can.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Thank you so much.

[Tolv]

Great, thanks. Do I do the customer review? Now or after you hang up on me?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, after we disconnect the call. Don't hang up. You'll be prompted with a quick three question survey. If you give me all fives, I'd appreciate it. Thanks for having. Thanks for calling Tails with stinky dragon. You have a great day.

[Tolv]

Yeah, you too.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Dance? I mean, I used to work at a call center and I'm having flashbacks and I hate it.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

True.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Team leader, what's the plan?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

All right. Meadow Canyon is first on the way. We shall go past there. We must push past the battles.

[Natty]

That should be easy.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Personally need to go to Nido Canyon as well. The veil die said to go there,

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

so yes, all our past life to there.

[Natty]

Didn't really know where that sentence was gonna go, did you?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

I'm not as good as Bono. He is much more eloquent. He was always the better talker.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

All right, so you all begin breaking camp and heading to the northeast towards Meadow Canyon.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

I was gonna see if there were any footprints to follow from when Bunlap left or if they had been covered in the snow.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Make a survival check.

[Tolv]

Surely he'd be more stealthy than that.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

17.

[Natty]

There were two footprints in the sand, but now there's only one.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

This is where Bunlop carries me.

[Tolv]

Oh, wait a second. It has six toes.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

You find a set of prints and begin following them. But then they circle back onto the camp and then head back towards the prison and then come back to the camp. And then buried beneath the snow, you find a note that says,

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Sneaky little guy. It's a good. Too bad they let him go out of prison. They'll never get him again.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

He's not going back. Okay, you begin heading northeast towards Meado Canyon. And the mountains grow closer and closer. On the horizon, the sky grows dim with a dark redness. And in the distance, the rumbling of thunderous booms and the flashing of light can be seen at the canyon's edge amidst a structure, perhaps a set of ruins. Everyone make a perception check.

[Doug Boone]

Perception 6, 14, 23.

[Natty]

Perception for Doug, 23 for Natty as well.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

So everyone except the silver notices that the booms and the flashes appear to be artillery explosions.

[Tolv]

Oh, I was hoping it was a concert. Dang it.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Are there any preparations you all need to make or are you ready to press on?

[Doug Boone]

Should we maybe, like, go in stealthily?

[Natty]

Probably, yeah.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

So do we know that layout of where they're fighting? Like, is the army closest to us or as far as the front line? Where's.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, you are in mortalion territory so you are approaching the front. So you are. This is friendly territory for you that you are in.

[Natty]

Well, maybe we could do stealthy. But an alternative idea is maybe we could find like someone in charge on our side who could assist.

[Doug Boone]

Do we have any sort of, like, are we wearing Mortalion uniform of any sort? Like, what are we actually wearing?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

I'm wearing nothing now. I've got my hot. I got out of the hot tub and it was so hot.

[Doug Boone]

You just never put your clothes back on.

[Tolv]

All right, so take your armor off then.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

It's your own individual armor and whatever it is you're wearing. But you do have insignias denoting your affiliation with the Mortalion and your rank within the Mortalion.

[Doug Boone]

Okay, so that probably helps to be like, clearly we're part of this thing.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

You also aren't Undarian.

[Natty]

We also don't look like Undarian.

[Doug Boone]

That's very true.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Except for one of our children, but he's on a. He's on a leash.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Well, we could chuck him away. We captured him.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Wait, he looks like an Undarian.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Kind of demonic.

[Doug Boone]

He's like a little demon boy. Yeah.

[Tolv]

So, I mean, I guess we should be armed because we don't know if. I mean, I know we're on our side, but we did see a bunch of Undarian prisoners head this way. So we should probably keep an eye out for those guys because they could be, you know, this could be like a flanking maneuver on our team.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yes. Yes.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Okay, so you ready to lead the team in, Gunther?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yes.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Okay. You begin descending into the canyon. And as you get closer, you realize that the set of ruins you saw before is actually Fort Mito. And it's currently under attack by an artillery barrage and a handful of Undarians. Twilight sun barely illuminates crimson sky that's blanketed in snowy clouds. Darkness envelops the canyon and the valley beyond. The ground is carpeted with snowfall. Blood and corpse. The windswept and war torn fortress is made of ancient ruins and patchwork walls. Inside, there's a bronze temple of the Blood Bather. Bronze.

[Doug Boone]

Bronze temple of the Blood Bather.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Correct.

[Natty]

He's like a really. He's like that really important soldier dude, isn't it?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

You're right. Yeah.

[Tolv]

Who?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

John.

[Natty]

We learned about him at the Fort Endridge, didn't we?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yes. And they were building a temple to him.

[Natty]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

It was under construction when you all were there last.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Is this it?

[Natty]

I'm gonna need everybody to remember this time that I remembered something without even looking at my notes.

[Doug Boone]

I'll remember you remembered because.

[Natty]

Ain't gonna happen again.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

So, yeah, this is.

[Doug Boone]

This must be what they were building.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Well, no, that.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

The.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

The temple they were building was at Fort Entridge.

[Natty]

Oh.

[Doug Boone]

So just building a different temple there.

[Tolv]

Got it.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Okay. Does it seem like. How does it look like the Mortalion is doing? Are they.

[Tolv]

What's the score on the game, Coach?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Natty]

What's the score?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

It seems like right now things are at a stalemate. There are quite a few people who appear to be injured on the Mortalion side, but they are currently repelling the small forces of the Undarians who are attacking.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Is there anyone that we can approach to ask for where the commanding officer is?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah.

[Tolv]

Where's the concession stand?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

In my head, you haven't fully approached, like, you're still seeing it. You haven't walked into it yet.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

And we could also just go help the battle.

[Natty]

Just start shooting.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I mean.

[Tolv]

Yeah, that'd be kind of a cool entrance, and it would really impress our superiors, I guess.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Is there any way from where we are that we could circle and attack? Xandarian surprise.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

As you're approaching, you see five grilps at the portcullis, a Fort Medo, who appear to be banging against it trying to gain entrance.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Okay. Oh, so they're inside the fort and we're outside it, Correct?

[Natty]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah. That's why I said, like you had in my mind, you hadn't entered it yet.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Okay.

[Tolv]

But our dudes are on the inside.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

I was imagining it more like a.

[Doug Boone]

Like a big battlefield too.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yeah, like there was like a. A war, you know, trench kind of thing, and the. So there.

[Doug Boone]

That's how I pictured it too, so I'm glad you clarified.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, yeah. Think more like Helms Deep, but not like covering the entire valley. Just like a fortified position.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Gotcha. Okay.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Wow.

[Tolv]

Terrible place for a fort right in the middle of a canyon.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

What's.

[Tolv]

Master Strategist came up with this one?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Since we're on a canyon, are there, like, anything we could roll into them or something like rocks or something that we could roll towards the. To squish the bad guys or.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, you can tell from recent artillery barrages have loosened up boulders and large rocks in the area. And in fact, it looks like the strategy may have been used in the past because there are also boulders up against the edges of Fort Meadow, along. Along with bits of the fort itself that have fallen down and created rubble all around the edge of the fort.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Doug, what do you think? With your beautiful mind, can we somehow leverage these builders and not destroy the fort, but also destroy them.

[Doug Boone]

Cut to Doug, and he's that gif of that woman with all the math equations passing by him. I guess, yeah. Could Doug. Doug basically, like, I guess, like, guesstimate the heaviness of one of these boulders, like, see the angle that it would roll down, be able to calculate where to push it and how hard to push it to, like, hit one of them?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

This is like simple math to Doug. This is like one plus one equals two kind of stuff. Yeah, this is Doug's bread and butter. So, yeah, absolutely. You can. You can totally do that. And before you do that, there was one more bit of texture going to read to you guys to kind of set the scene. So the fort itself is a windswept fortress that leans to and fro at the edge of a snowy canyon. It's built atop and amongst ancient ruins, which is kind of what you saw before. And there are what appear to be stone tarot card megaliths around the fort and a sanctive iron portcullis, which is where the grill bar currently congregated. And there's a constant bombardment of artillery and skirmishes happening all around the area.

[Tolv]

Area. There's giant tarot card, like megaliths, like big stone.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Big stone structures.

[Tolv]

So it's like a monolith. So it's like, like, like Easter or Stonehenge, but with tarot cards.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah.

[Natty]

Cool.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Bombardments. Where are those coming from?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

It appears to be coming from some distance away. You can see a gathering of the Undarian army and they're using siege weapons from quite a bit of distance. Distance to throw or to launch artillery at the fort.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Gotcha.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

If it matters for your layout, the front line or the Undarians are east of the fort.

[Natty]

Well, we should probably take care of these grubs that are trying to get inside, right?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah.

[Tolv]

Oh, yeah.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah.

[Doug Boone]

So would I be able to push one of the boulders down?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

It's pretty heavy, but you're able to put your back into it and get the boulder rolling. And it rolls down and it accelerates and gains speed as it goes down the incline. And at the last second, the grill turn around and see it and they get smashed up against the portcullis.

[Doug Boone]

I cannot wait to hear the sound design for this moment.

[Tolv]

I want it to be bowling pins and then it to be like a video where it goes, like, strike and it's like some stupid bowling video.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

I was thinking more like the Play DOH factory where you put Play DOH through, like little stencils. And it's just like squishiness coming out through.

[Doug Boone]

Gross. I can't wait.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

But yeah, the way does appear to be clear now. Up to the portcullis.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

That.

[Tolv]

Way to go.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

It's lethal. Yes.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I mean, it was. It was Gunther's idea. I just executed on it.

[Tolv]

You just executed those gropes. You're all dead.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Quickly, before more reinforcements arrive. Can we run?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah.

[Doug Boone]

I'll follow Gunther.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

You begin leading the party down up to the portcullis.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

And we do the signature army whistle, which is.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

That's Christmas.

[Doug Boone]

Christmas.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

That's just what came to mind because

[Tolv]

we're going into a canyon. You know that thing where they chase the cheese wheel down, like, a giant steep hill? I'm just imagining us running, but also tripping and falling and trying to get up and running.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah.

[Doug Boone]

With all the sand.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, yeah, totally. But you do manage to keep your feet under you long enough to approach the fort. And the portcullis. It's a scarred metal that softly glows with a holy radiance.

[Doug Boone]

Scarred metal? What do you mean by holy radiance? Like, it's like charmed or like there's like a. Some type of.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Right. There's some kind of enchanted arcane energy on it.

[Natty]

Okay, lad of sand, stop with the kissing.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

You see some soldiers inside the fort who notice you all and recognize you as being part of the mortalion. And they begin raising the portcullis to let you in.

[Natty]

Thank you.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

All right, Doug will go in.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

And then you four enter. And as soon as you enter, the portcullis slams shut behind you. Once again, securing the fort.

[Natty]

Oh, dang it. I left my heart. I left my auto harp on the other side.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Could you open it?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Wait, did anyone grab Captain Grumbles or is he still in? The.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Spring starts at the Home Depot and

[Gustavo Sorrol]

we are bringing the heat to your backyard this season.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Fire up the flavor with our wide variety of grills for under $300. Like the next grill 4 burner gas grill that's perfect for hosting your spring cookout.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Then set the scene and turn your

[Tolv]

outdoor space into the go to spot

[Gustavo Sorrol]

with patio sets for every budget. Bring it this season with grills that

[Tolv]

deliver flavor and patios that set the

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

vibe from the Home Depot.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Start your spring with low prices guaranteed at the Home Depot exclusion supplies. See home depot.com pricematch for details.

[Doug Boone]

Score more with the college branded Venmo debit card and earn up to 5% cash back with Venmo stash. Got paid back with the Venmo debit card. You can instantly Access your balance and spend on what you want. Like game day, snacks, gear, tickets and more. The more you do, the more cash back back you can earn. Plus there's no monthly fee or minimum balance. Sign up [e-mail] collegecard the Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank. NA Select Schools available. Venmo stash terms and exclusions apply at Venmo me stash terms max 100 cash back per month.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Zootopia 2 has come home to Disney Plus. Let's go get ready for a new case.

[Doug Boone]

We're the greatest partners of all time.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

New friends Gary the Snake and your last name the Snake Dream team.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Pick new habitats.

[Private Mark Book]

Zootopia has a secret reptile population.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

You can watch the record for phenomenon at home. Zootopia 2 now available on Disney Plus. Rated PG. And right now you can get Disney plus and Hulu for just 4.99amonth for three months with a special limited time offer. Ends March 24th. After three months, Plan Auto renews at $12.99 a month. Terms apply.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Where's your commanding officer?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

The soldier who let you in looks at you and goes stiff at attention and salutes, sir.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

It would appear you're the highest ranking officer here, sir.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

O.

[Tolv]

Open the port. Colas back up. We gotta go.

[Natty]

We have made the situation worse.

[Tolv]

Well, first and foremost, this little guy right here. This is Giggy. He is not a Undarian. Can we get like, I don't know, like a practice jersey that's like a bright color to put on him so that everybody knows do not shoot this child.

[Natty]

A reflector vest.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tolv]

Just interesting.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

That's funny.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Who has been leading the defense so far? We must speak.

[Natty]

They point to a charred corpse.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Quick, tell us everything you owe.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Well, I mean, it's not too far from the truth.

[Natty]

Oh no.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Our last remaining officer died in battle earlier today, sir.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

What did he do to die?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, so we can avoid that.

[Natty]

Wait, what's that mean?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Was he like out there on the field shooting at him? Was he up here? Like, where was he when he died?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

He was giving orders up on the ramparts when an artillery barrage came down and destroyed his position.

[Tolv]

So what were his final words? What were like the last things he was about to say?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

I think he was about to tell us we can go home and the war's over.

[Natty]

We're winning.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Oh my God.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

So don't go to the ramparts. Okay, Got it.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

We must go to the ramparts because that's where the. The commander must have Been.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Well, he got killed up there though.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

He got blown up. Yeah. But if that's where the commander must go, that's the only way we can see what's going on.

[Tolv]

Okay, well, how many soldiers do we have at our disposal? What's the current state of this battle?

[Natty]

Don't say it that way.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

How many soldiers can.

[Natty]

You starting to sound like me loving this death stuff.

[Tolv]

How many able bodied men and women do we have for this fight?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Currently our army consists of about 130 soldiers, of which approximately 70 are currently wounded and in recovery.

[Tolv]

Okay, that'll do. I imagine this is the part where we're gonna take different parts of the fort, maybe. So we could all decide who wants to do what, right?

[Natty]

Is that what's happening?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

My thought would be to go to the top and take stock of where the defense is and where the enemy is.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

So you can do all of that. There is of course also the megaliths which I discussed. And there is also the temple for the bloodbather, which the soldier would have told you is for the people who are recovering currently.

[Natty]

We could, maybe a couple of us could go check out the tarot cards because that sounds interesting to me. But then maybe a couple of us could go and try to the temple thing. Maybe you could pray to the blood bather and that would help or maybe

[Barbara Dunkelman]

just check out what's going on in there and maybe help some of the warriors.

[Tolv]

So we need someone to tend to the wounded and then some other people to lead the, I guess, counter attack.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yeah. The tarot cards, are they like, where are they in relation to the tower that we're in?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

They are scattered around the various parts of the fort. There is one close to the portcullis, three along the eastern wall, and two that appear to be along the northern wall.

[Tolv]

That guy that met us, I was gonna ask him.

[Natty]

What's your name, soldier? What's your name?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

My name is Private Book, sir. Private Mark Book.

[Natty]

Okay, bookmark. What do those things, those big old cards do those.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

That's just part of the fort, I guess. They're giant pieces of stone. We use them to support the walls,

[Natty]

but they got designs on them. They don't do nothing like magical or cool.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Now what's the significance?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

No, that's egghead talk. Maybe because there's a magical glow around protecting it, perhaps. That could be it.

[Natty]

Oh, glow around what?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

The fort? Yeah.

[Natty]

Oh, you meant the holy glow on the portcullis.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

The holy radiance.

[Natty]

Okay. I wanna. I think, I feel with my connection to the arcane powers. I'd be a good person to go check out these. These possibly magical stones.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

I would think the team leader should divvy up what's going on here.

[Natty]

That's a smarter move.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yes, that makes sense. Maybe perhaps you go check out the stones and me and Tolv.

[Doug Boone]

My name is Torv.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

To.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yep.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Almost called you. And me and Tolv with our experience fighting and should check out the top of the rampart.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

So Doug and Natty are going to investigate the tarot cards, and Gunther and Tolv are going to go up to the ramparts.

[Tolv]

Did we have anybody going to the wound?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I'll do whatever you need me to do. Leader, console.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Maybe after the inspection of the tarot, you go check out the. The wounded.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

That sounds good.

[Natty]

Yeah, yeah, I know. I know how to talk to people that are about to die.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Oh, no, no, no. You.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Natty, why don't you stay outside the

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

temple and maybe you keep a close eye on Natty.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I'll put it back in a ring for the time being.

[Tolv]

There was 70 before what happened.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

So that means we're going to do Taro first.

[Natty]

Okay.

[Doug Boone]

Yes.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

I would assume you had this discussion with this with Private Mark Book here by the portcullis. So the closest megalith would be the one that I said was right by the portcullis there on the south. I assume that's the one you would want to go to first. Or is there a different one you'd want to go to?

[Natty]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Doug Boone]

Might as well. Yeah. Start closest and go outwards.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Okay. So, you know, you approach it and it's big. It's. You know, now that you see one up close, you can tell that all of them, all six of them, are seemingly untouched. Giant tarot cards of stone that stand amidst the crumbling walls of the fort. The card artwork appears to be. You're looking at the backside at the moment as if it's face down, waiting to be revealed. The backside depicts a symbol you're very familiar with, Doug. It has the symbol of a starry eye.

[Doug Boone]

Would that be the veiled eye?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, the starry eye is the symbol of the veiled eye.

[Doug Boone]

Okay. I just wanted to confirm.

[Natty]

So you said these things are just kind of like sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall face down?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Right. The backside is exposed currently.

[Natty]

Are they a size that we could maneuver?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

They're big.

[Natty]

Yeah.

[Doug Boone]

Like, basically, they're not being lifted by, like, people. They got, like, machinery has to be involved kind of situation or like.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

You would think so, based on the size, they're pretty massive.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

If.

[Natty]

If they're leaning. Can we, like, scoot underneath and see what's the. On the. The face side?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, you can give it a try.

[Doug Boone]

Doug could get into small places.

[Natty]

Doug, find out what these cards are.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I. I think I'm going to burrow like I've seen our friend Gunther do.

[Natty]

I. I don't. I don't like when you do that.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

But that's how he says burrow.

[Natty]

Yeah, you be you.

[Tolv]

You be you. You guys talking about burrowing over here?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

You approach it and begin trying to shimmy your way around to take a look at it. And as you touch it, the entire mo. Doug. And it seemingly rises up and then flips around, revealing itself to you.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh, my goodness.

[Natty]

Hey, Doug, you figured it out?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I could figure it out, I guess.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

You see, it reveals the Wheel of Fortune. That's upside down. Wheel?

[Natty]

Stop.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

It's a giant wheel with flutes for spokes, and it's held by a figure with wings and amber eyes.

[Doug Boone]

Do I recognize that creature?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

No, you do not.

[Tolv]

But his name is Pat Sajak.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Hmm.

[Doug Boone]

And you said this is on the reverse side of where we saw the symbol of the Starry Eyed?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah.

[Doug Boone]

Okay. Interesting.

[Natty]

Hey, Doug, stop touching it for a second, okay?

[Doug Boone]

Doug, hands off.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, you stop touching it, and it remains revealed.

[Natty]

Okay, you've activated.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I wonder if any of us could do that.

[Doug Boone]

Or if it's just me to let

[Natty]

you know the scientific method says we should try.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

That's true.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Just for reference, I don't remember if I said it or not, but the appearance of the card is upside down. I don't remember if I said that one at first.

[Doug Boone]

The. Yeah, the Wheel of Fortune is upside down.

[Natty]

Yeah, well, that matters in tarot.

[Doug Boone]

What about the Starry Eyed?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Like, it could be viewed either way. You can't tell.

[Doug Boone]

Okay, gotcha.

[Natty]

Like a bicycle car.

[Doug Boone]

I'm gonna have to look up symbology of Tarot cards after this.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Why don't you make me an intelligence check?

[Natty]

Oh, okay. I roll. High roll.

[Tolv]

Are there any Vanna White Walkers?

[Doug Boone]

21.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

21. What goes up must come down a downturn. Greater forces that are outside of human control are at work here.

[Natty]

Are we giving this fort a reading? Is that what we're involved with right now?

[Doug Boone]

I'd say human control, yes. Well, not. Also says you will have good luck in a new relationship and money coming your way.

[Natty]

He's 24.

[Doug Boone]

When someone very close to you will betray you.

[Tolv]

Ooh.

[Natty]

Okay, Natty will walk over to the nearest next one. And see if touching it does the same thing. Or maybe it's gotta be a bugbear.

[Doug Boone]

I also would say that Doug would, I think, do a rough drawing and take notes in, like, a little. In his little notepad.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Sure. The next closest one is on the eastern wall. And as you turn to walk in that direction, you both turn and look and see Private Mark Book is standing there, slack jawed, kind of staring at the megalith and says, I've never seen

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

it do that before.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Have you guys ever tried touching it?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yeah, I took a nap up there earlier.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Interesting place to take a nap.

[Natty]

It's like a little lean tent.

[Tolv]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Okay, well, let's see. Let's see if it works on the next one. Natty, give. Give it a shot.

[Natty]

I do it, but I think it must be you at this point.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

So there are three along the eastern wall, but one of them is further south. That would be the one closest to you guys. So it's. It's kind of like in the south, close to the southeast corner of the fort. I touch it, you walk up and, like, the other one, you know, at the back, has the starry eye. You walk up to it and touch it, and it begins to glow and turns around to you.

[Natty]

I've got the touch.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Whoa.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

You've got the power.

[Natty]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

It reveals the emperor, also upside down. It's a figure dripping with blood. He's eating an apple that looks like the world.

[Natty]

Oh, hey, Doug, do you do your intelligence check again?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah.

[Doug Boone]

Could I try to figure out what this one means?

[Natty]

You're the smart one.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah. Make me another intelligence check. Check. Oh.

[Doug Boone]

19.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Doing the grape lady again.

[Doug Boone]

It, like the die hit the edge of my screen on D and D beyond and, like, started rolling one way and then flipped.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

This one represents the overreach of control. Something seeks to dominate, like a tyrant. And a power struggle is on the horizon.

[Natty]

Yeah, we already know that we're in a war.

[Doug Boone]

Okay, and do all of these have the veiled eye symbol?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Mm. Well, so far, these two have had the starry eye on them.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Okay.

[Tolv]

Okay.

[Natty]

Well, let's just keep this going. Does that sound good?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Absolutely.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah. Just a little north of here, along the same wall, there's another one.

[Natty]

Natty holds up Gigi and lets him touch this one.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Bickel roll.

[Doug Boone]

Have you ever seen, by the way, the test people do with their dogs?

[Natty]

That's exactly what I was imagining.

[Doug Boone]

Or they hold them up against the wall, and if they put their paws out, they're supposed to be.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Be smarter yeah, My dog does not do that.

[Tolv]

My dog does not do that.

[Doug Boone]

Kras is about to do it with Booker right now.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Booger, where are you?

[Doug Boone]

He might be too big.

[Natty]

I rolled a five.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Diggy doesn't want to be picked up. He begins, like, nipping at your hands, demanding to be put back down on the ground.

[Natty]

Okay, then let's Captain Grumbles do it.

[Doug Boone]

Oh, is he with us?

[Tolv]

Yes.

[Natty]

He goes where I go. I'm rolling deep.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Captain Grumbles goes up to it and touches it, but nothing seems to happen.

[Doug Boone]

Doug goes and pushes Captain Grumble out of the way and touches it.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Doug, you touch it, and once again, just like the other two, it begins to glow. I don't know if I said it. This also has the starry eye on the back.

[Doug Boone]

Okay.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

It begins to glow and turns around and you see the world. It's three stained glass circles that are red, blue, and green, and they're overlapping each other. A triangle holds them together.

[Natty]

That's some Illuminati looking stuff.

[Doug Boone]

And you said they were red, blue, and green?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Correct.

[Doug Boone]

Is this upside down? No, this one's right side up.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Correct.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Okay, well, this one.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

You had good rolls. I'm gonna go ahead and give it to you.

[Natty]

Thank you.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

You know, this symbolizes the moment when the inner and the outer world, the self and the other, become a single entity. It indicates the completion of a long term project.

[Natty]

Okay, that makes sense.

[Doug Boone]

One long term project.

[Natty]

Maybe the next one will tell us. Secret button that turns off the Andarian army.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Natty, do you think we're in the puzzle game that Doug wants to create? I don't see the code quite yet.

[Natty]

Yeah, I think you called it the Witness. Is that what you call.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Oh, man, that game.

[Natty]

I watched somebody speedrun that game. That's insane.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

That's a tough game that. That is, man. I wanted to break my controller a few times. We'll do a quick smash cut now that you've done three to the other guys who are going up on the ramparts. Gunther and Tol, you go up on the ramparts and from here you get a view of the battlefield in the front line off to the east, and the Undarians in the. In the distance.

[Tolv]

Is bookmark with us or. Oh, no, he's with the others.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

He's walking around, like, in the inner courtyard currently.

[Natty]

Okay. He was talking to with the tarot.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, yeah.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Who, who.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Who's in charge besides us?

[Tolv]

We are, but.

[Micah Reisinger]

Yeah.

[Tolv]

Anybody else? Anybody? Any other bookmarks?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

There's two privates who are sitting there looking Very weary. And as you approach and ask that question, they stand up and snap to attention and salute.

[Private Mark Book]

No, sir. You are in charge.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Debrief us on everything that has happened.

[Private Mark Book]

The Undarians continue to initiate skirmishes without us to the east. We've encountered a number of dredges, grills, demongles, and even Artorias.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Oh, I hear those are very notorious.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Very good.

[Private Mark Book]

There's also a pretty consistent artillery barrage that comes in every so often here.

[Tolv]

Do we have any, like, ranged weapons at our disposal? Or any, like, plans that were in progress but got stopped because your commanding officer exploded?

[Private Mark Book]

The Lieutenant was about to inform us on that before his incident, sir.

[Tolv]

Bummer.

[Private Mark Book]

We have bows and arrows at our disposal.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

The artillery. How bad is it? And have you made any progress in stopping it?

[Private Mark Book]

It's primarily catapults and trebuchets. They are keeping those weapons out of our range currently. So there's no way to stop them at the moment. It seems the Undarian force grows stronger every day.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

And do you know the numbers in which we face.

[Private Mark Book]

If I had to guess, I would estimate There are approximately 200 undarians currently masked out there.

[Natty]

Whoa.

[Tolv]

That's a lot of dudes. Okay, is there anything that this fort outside of, like, you know, a foothold on the grand battlefield? Is there anything that this fort is, like, protecting? What was, like, the original purpose of Mido Canyons? I know you got the cool tarot cards over there. Those are fun.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, as you say that, you turn and look and one of them's glowing and raising in the air and revealing itself to Doug.

[Tolv]

Oh, they look like they're having a great time.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

It looks like an upside down Wheel of Fortune.

[Tolv]

Is that a Wheel of Fortune over there? Love that show.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Give me an A.

[Tolv]

Buying a vow.

[Private Mark Book]

The fort itself surrounds the Basilica of the Blood Bather. Of course, some say that perhaps there are even older ruins below that.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Uh.

[Tolv]

Oh. Oh, is there any, like, ancient myths or stories about, like. Like some, like, magical force from the Blood Bather or something? Because, like, you know, Gunther, maybe we could, like, activate some, I don't know, super weapon that's in the temple?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Super weapon?

[Private Mark Book]

There are legends of the Blood Bather carved in the temple. I've read a few. If you want me to share them with you.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yeah, go ahead, please.

[Tolv]

Yeah, go nuts. Please share. Also, don't, don't, you know, like, this whole rank thing, it's a little silly with, really, you know, just. We're casual around here. Yeah, Just, you know, unbutton a couple, you know, just. Just call Me to.

[Doug Boone]

Okay, you spin the chair around and sit on it backwards.

[Tolv]

I'm a bit of a cool general, you know. I'm one of the cool generals.

[Private Mark Book]

I heard that the Blood Bather oiled himself up in poison and jumped down a kraken's throat to kill it.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

All right.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Okay.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yikes. Cool.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

That's. Keep that as an option.

[Private Mark Book]

Legend also says that he was running around and cutting enemies left and right, but he ran so fast that he cut a hole into the center of the world and fell through.

[Tolv]

That's pretty sick.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Okay. Must have been going real fast.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

The other private interrupts and, like, eager to tell his own story. As the story goes, he was atop a wagon whilst facing a horde of enemies. Fortunately, he had recently come into a large trap trove of explosives and went down in a wagon bomb. Blaze of glory.

[Tolv]

Okay, now we're talking explodey things.

[Private Mark Book]

I don't believe that one, though, because my great grandmother witnessed the whole thing. She said the warrior spun in circles whilst wielding his sword, mowing enemies down like a cyclone of karmic. And someone managed to land a fatal blow on him. But he kept his momentum, killing dozens more after his death.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Hell, yeah.

[Tolv]

That's. That's super sick. That's rad.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Super cool. Yes.

[Tolv]

Anyways, what do we do to.

[Private Mark Book]

And I heard they killed so many enemies that the ground turned into a marsh and the victor drowned in the blood of his enemies.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Oh, gross.

[Natty]

Whoa.

[Tolv]

Sick. That's like an album cover.

[Natty]

Cool.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

How are you able to. How are you able to continue the defense for the time being?

[Private Mark Book]

Well, we seem to be holding up. The fort's in rough shape, but we're doing the best we can. We've managed to hold them off so far.

[Tolv]

Okay, so, Gunther, it looks like Natty and Doug are doing some, like, magical things. You know, there's a floating rock over there. So, like, that might be our best bet is, you know, some sort of, like, magic weapon.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yes, for magic weapon. Sounds cool. Because, you know, right now we just have bows and arrows and swords and nothing. And we, you know, no wagon of explosives. So maybe we go and check out the blood bather with the others and reconvene there. You'll chill here. Take it easy. But also, you know.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, Chill.

[Tolv]

You know.

[Natty]

Yeah.

[Tolv]

Well, don't let him take the fort.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tolv]

What he said.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yes, yes.

[Private Mark Book]

Yes, sir.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

He begins, like, going to salute and remembers it was casual and, like. Yeah, yeah. Like, reaches out his hand for a handshake and then stops and just, like, looks at his feet.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

And turns around.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Just. Yeah. Here, here. Fist pump here. Boom. Let it blow up.

[Tolv]

Pat you on the back.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Go get him. Yeah, yeah.

[Tolv]

Butt tap.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yep, yep. Yeah. All right. See you later.

[Tolv]

All right. Catch you later, dude.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

And Gunther does finger guns.

[Tolv]

Boom. Boom.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

No, except for I would not shoot at you or shoot at them.

[Tolv]

Okay.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

All right, bye. So you guys are leaving the ramparts and heading down. And what's your plan?

[Tolv]

I guess we're gonna. We're gonna meet back up with.

[Natty]

Wait, Gus, you didn't figure out their plan from all of that?

[Tolv]

We're gonna meet with Doug and Natty to as they're. They're gonna, I'm assuming, wrap up the tarot cards, but there's probably something else in the bloodbather temple, so maybe we can uncover a magical weapon together.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yeah. So we're gonna meet them there now that we've got a sense of the top.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

When you say meet them there, you mean, like. And the tarot cards, as they're continuing this?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Oh, I. I would say we go to the bloodbather area.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Okay, so you're.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

That's where they were gonna go after the tarot cards?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Yeah, they're about halfway done. I figure, like, when you're done at this point now you all are at the same time. They're. They're about to do the fourth tarot card here on the eastern wall.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yeah. What was that guy's name?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

His name was Private. Dog Ear.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Take it easy, Dog Ear.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Woof, woof.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

That guy was cool.

[Tolv]

Yeah, I like that guy. That was a chill, dude.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Hey, hey, hey, hey, Dog here. You're the man now, dog.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Okay, back to Doug and Natty. The next closest megalith was also on the eastern wall, but it's kind of in the northeast corner.

[Doug Boone]

Okay, let's touch it.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I mean, why stop at 3 when we could do all of them, you know?

[Natty]

Let's do it together this time.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh, I like that. Should we hold hands and then touch it?

[Natty]

Yes.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Okay.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

One, two.

[Doug Boone]

Doug grabs Natty's hands.

[Natty]

It's very moist.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

It's like my hands.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah, it's pretty normal for me.

[Natty]

Yeah. We touch it.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

You touch it, and it glows and turns around, revealing the moon. It's a shadowy moon that eclipses the sun turning red. The world below is split in two,

[Doug Boone]

and it's upside down or right.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Way up, Right side up.

[Doug Boone]

And the world below to split in two. And you said it's red moon.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

A shadowy moon eclipses the sun turning red. You know how when there's an eclipse, the sun changes colors or appears to be a different color.

[Doug Boone]

So it's not a blood moon.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Correct.

[Doug Boone]

Okay.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Things may not be what they seem. Therefore, you need to proceed with caution. Watch out for liars and haters.

[Natty]

Don't read the comments.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah, screw the haters.

[Tolv]

Everybody tweet from some,

[Natty]

except for our Patreon commenters. We like those.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah, of course.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

They're not haters.

[Doug Boone]

They're communicators.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Hey.

[Doug Boone]

It's the only thing I could think of.

[Natty]

It worked. It worked. It worked.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Okay, the next one is on the northern wall, kind of close to the center. It's a little west from here where you all are. You want to head over to that one?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yes.

[Natty]

Yes, sir.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

All right, who's touching it?

[Doug Boone]

I'll do it this time.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

All right, Doug, you reach out an arm, and you know. As you prepare to touch, it begins glowing, and it reveals itself to you. It reveals the sun,

[Doug Boone]

but before we saw the moon.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Radiant sunbeams cascading over, four children holding hands.

[Natty]

And their names is Doug and Tove and Natty.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Or we don't know. It could be Bookmark and Dog Ear.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah, they chiseled these pictures themselves. Question about these imagery. The imagery we've been seeing on these. And this just made me think of it. But have we seen any of these before, or is this the first time we're seeing this type of imagery? Because we've seen a lot of, like, tapestries and a lot of, like. Yeah, things with, like, pictures and things depicting people holding their hands up and stuff like that is like. Does it seem to be of the same, like, artist?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Why don't you make me a history mystery chick 17. You don't think you've seen any like this before? This is new to you?

[Doug Boone]

Okay, and the four children that the sun is beaming over, do those just seem like kind of, like, generic little humans type thing? Like, it's. They don't have, like, a face or, like, identifiable features?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Correct. And I'm gonna read the meaning right now. You provide others with inspiration and joy. People are drawn. Drawn to you because they're capable of seeing the warm and beautiful energy which you bring into their lives.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Well, I want to take this one home with me. Natty, you got any questions about this one?

[Natty]

This one's a bit different from the other ones.

[Doug Boone]

Very.

[Natty]

Yeah, the other ones just felt like they were, like, almost, like, stating the obvious a little bit.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

This one is more about, like. Like, you, you know, rather than just, like, a situation.

[Natty]

Yeah. And there's four People, people. And we're the ones who can activate it.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Oh, spooky.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh, my gosh. Okay, well, I guess there's only one more to check out.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Okay, the final one is in the northwest corner, not too far from where you are. You head over there and. Who's touching this one?

[Natty]

I kiss it.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

You give it a kiss. As you lean in to pucker up and kiss it, it reveals itself to you, showing the tower. A lightning bolt strikes a concealed tower and the facade crumbles.

[Tolv]

Hope that's not foreshadowing.

[Micah Reisinger]

Hey, guys.

[Doug Boone]

While they're up in the tower, it

[Gustavo Sorrol]

means that you're living in an illusion. You must remove the mask and expose the truth of the situation in order to change it. Let go and let the ego fall away. Gunther, as you are looking at it, it seems almost like this tarot card begins to swirl with some kind of arcane energy. And it begins drawing you to it. And it, almost like with a gravity of its own, pulls you in. Doug and Natty to and Gunther, as you're walking across the courtyard, leaving the ramparts to head to the the Temple of the Blood Bather, the nearest one to you, also begins to swirl and pull you into it as well. Your surroundings transform. The first thing you see is yourselves in a reflective floor, almost like glass. The ceiling is made of starry constellations constantly shifting, and small puffs of clouds slowly circle the room. Doug, you recognize this. This is where you had your vision of the Veiled Eye. But where is he? The clouds in the room come to a standstill as if frozen in time. A gem like glint appears among the stars and reveals itself to be a floating crystal flute. Following the flute out steps an elderly Drakin that pove you recognize. His amber eyes gleam behind full moon spectacles as he conducts the flute. The Drakkin has shimmering burnt orange scales and constellation patterned robes. Curved horns poke through the brim of his hat, and he flashes a sharp toothed smirk sweeping his tail and wings as he guides the flute's bittersweet melody with virtuous grace.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Will you please tell the class it's

[Natty]

the person that you saw?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

I moved.

[Doug Boone]

It's also, if You've seen the YouTube video of our podcast, there's someone narrating at the beginning.

[Tolv]

And he sounds like Micah, right?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Maybe.

[Micah Reisinger]

Felicitations, my faithful friends.

[Tolv]

Sorry, that's happening live. That scared me.

[Micah Reisinger]

I am Maestro Pharynx.

[Natty]

We gotta put a bell around this guy.

[Micah Reisinger]

We've met before, but in another life. The Veiled Eye is not here. Anymore. He was forced from this sacred space when word of his whereabouts were leaked by the sea drinker. But fear not, Doug. He is nearby. Just beyond the canyon in the Veiled Vale.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Got it.

[Natty]

Hey.

[Micah Reisinger]

He is waiting for you there.

[Natty]

What are you?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah. Yeah what? And who are you?

[Natty]

Yeah. Pardon the rudeness of my phrasing, but I can't think of another way to say it. It.

[Micah Reisinger]

I wish you had time for me to explain in exact detail all that is happening. But alas, the future is nearly upon us. But the good news is the future isn't fixed. The bad news.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

The future is always up nearly upon us. That's how future works.

[Micah Reisinger]

Very insightful, Gunther. But the bad news is a war is coming. And not just the thousand year war between Udarians and the Mortalion.

[Tolv]

No.

[Micah Reisinger]

I speak of a war with within and well beyond this world. Being waged by a monster who was once a man. He takes a different shape in each realm. But you can be sure he is in this world.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Does his name start with an H?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yeah.

[Tolv]

You got a name?

[Natty]

You don't know that.

[Doug Boone]

I know, I know. That's Barbara. Not.

[Micah Reisinger]

I can tell you. The first step is finding the Pathfinder.

[Natty]

We never did that, did we?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

No, we didn't.

[Tolv]

That was on our to do list. We told.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Is he the Pathfinder?

[Doug Boone]

It's.

[Micah Reisinger]

It's not totally at your fault. I've taken great lengths to hide the Pathfinder from misguided militants like Infernus. But you must be quick about finding them. The Veiled Eye can guide you. But he will need help remembering. So be patient.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Is there anything we could do to the Veiled Eye to help him remember?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

As you're saying that the crystal flute squeaks at the drakin.

[Micah Reisinger]

I'm afraid that's all the time you have. I can say Trust your instincts, Doug. The fate of Inuverse falls on your shoulders. All your shoulders. But you're not alone. Remember, you have an abundance of friends. Friends you will meet very soon.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

The Maestro smirks with a wink. And the four of you find yourselves back in Fort Medo. Standing in front of that sixth megalith that was revealed.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Wait, did.

[Tolv]

But do you have like a recipe for a nice tea drink or coffee or something? Maestro. Maestro.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

You all hear a whistling in the distance that appears to grow louder. All four of you.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Is it the song?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

No, it's artillery. All four of you make a dexterity saving throw.

[Tolv]

Yeah.

[Doug Boone]

Let the lore happen.

[Tolv]

16, 13, 9 and 7.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

1 1. I rolled a 1 NAT one for a plus 5. For 6.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

A single arrow comes flying out of the sky and hits you. Gunther.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

I imagine it hits me and goes through me and then also sticks to it.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Just hits you in the shoulder, doing eight points of damage. And it's sticking out of your shoulder. And there's a note attached to it.

[Tolv]

Is it a question?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

How bad does it look?

[Natty]

It looks like an improv warmup.

[Tolv]

It's some sort of an ice breaking arrow.

[Doug Boone]

If you could only have one meal for the rest.

[Tolv]

What does the arrow say?

[Doug Boone]

Yeah, could we pluck the note off the arrow and read it?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Well, I assume Gunther has it. It's in his arm.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yes.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Let me just

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

pull read the note while the arrow is still in there.

[Natty]

Hey, Gunther, Tell me what you had for breakfast today. Tell me what you have for breakfast.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Did I have. What did I have?

[Natty]

While he's doing that, Natty pulls the arrow out.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Brilliant.

[Tolv]

So what is. What. What does the arrow say?

[Natty]

Yeah, what's it say?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Let me read it now. There's a lot of blood. Hold up.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

It is surrender immediately or we will

[Gustavo Sorrol]

lay siege to your so called fort and leave none alive. I await your reply, Odarion, Overlord and Sunslayer Infernus. You see in the distance, the Undarmi marching into the snowy canyon from the east below the fort, led by Infernus riding a flying fire frog. Oh, cool. So you know, based off what you all have learned so far, that there's probably about 130 soldiers, about 70 wounded, and probably about 200 members of the Undarmi marching.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

71 wounded.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

What do y' all want to do?

[Natty]

Lock the doors.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

We heard a tale from our good friend, Dog eater, Dog Ear. Dog Ear.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Dog Ear.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Dog Ear. That the Blood Bather. There's tales of a great warrior in the Blood Bather. Perhaps. We shall see if there's anything we could gain from there.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah, I mean, that guy, Maestro Pharyngeal, and he did say that friends will help and that we should find them soon. So maybe that could be a friend who will help us.

[Natty]

Natty takes the arrow and a piece of paper and writes a note on it and says, give us a sec. And shoots it over the wall.

[Doug Boone]

I also like the idea of Infernus just writing the note and signing it with a little heart.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Love, Infernus.

[Tolv]

He puts their lips on the paper.

[Natty]

So I guess our plan is to ignore the note and go find the Bloodbather.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Yes.

[Tolv]

Let's go to the temple and see if there's anything there.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Private Mark Book runs up to you. Gunther salutes and asks, what do you order, sir?

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Defend at all costs. Do not let them in. Defend at all costs. Understood. We'll take care of it, sir. They are coming.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

And as he turns to scramble away to defend the walls, the sky cracks. The lightning and thunder. A downpour of rain begins to fall, but not of water, of blood. You turn back to look for Mark Book, but he's gone. One after another, the soldiers are being snatched into the sky as if by invisible streams, screaming as they disappear behind blood soaked clouds, A realization falls on all of you. Every soldier now snatched into the sky was human. You find yourselves hilariously outmatched. And the indarmi is nearly on your doorstep.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I don't think they trained us well enough for this moment, guys.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Find out if their training was sufficient or not. On the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

[Natty]

This is bad.

[Tolv]

Okay, so Gus, you go ahead and roll for 200 dice.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Initiative should be done just in time for our next episode. I'll get started on that now. We'll be back next time with more adventures from Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Bye forever.

[Doug Boone]

Remember us.

[Micah Reisinger]

We interrupt this program with an important announcement. Stinky Dragon has finally released a Stinky Dragon soundtrack vinyl. That's right, folks. We're taking pre orders for a Stinky Dragon soundtrack vinyl called Best of the Score. That means all of your favorite tracks from Infinite Infinite campaign, step into the Stinky Dragon. Introducing the Infinites. Smarts is still king. There's so many. There's 20 tracks in this thing. It's the vinyl itself is a Stinky Dragon Infinite Green. Oh, you got to go to store.stinkydragonpod.com right now and look at it because it's custom cover art of the Infinites themselves. And I'm so excited for you to see it. I'll wait right here you go.

[Natty]

Look, look, I'm just kidding.

[Micah Reisinger]

But seriously, go pre order it right now. Pre orders are only available through the month of March, so you want to do it quick. And if it does well, we might release the other albums, you know, different soundtracks of Sticky Dragon variety. Who knows? I don't know. Maybe we'll find out. Anyway, I'm really excited that you guys finally get to have a physical piece of media with music in your hands. And hopefully you don't scratch it like I did. All right. Store.stinkydragonpod.com here at Stinky Dragon, we like doing something I think might surprise you. It's playing D and D. That's right. We have two Tavern tales that are being released in this month and they're only available for patrons. You can check out the Stinky Tavern tale, Infinite in Turns and the Rules of Chaos Part 2 available right now. To listen to our other tavern tale is sea squad season two premiering on March 18 again for patrons only. Learn more about this@stinky dragonpod.com New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever you stream podcasts and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want to listen to the show 48 hours early and ad free? You can support us by becoming a [e-mail] or join as a member on Beacon TV. Both give you early ad free access to and a members only Discord for their respective platforms. Looking for even more stinky content and community perks? Our Patreon offers exclusive bonus shows behind the scenes Content Content Content access to the Stinky Dragon Discord Discord Discord member Only livestreams stinky community events and a shout out on the show. Just like Leo Jo fish Rebecca Mosby Messmaker109 Good Morning from Hell Podcast Hey, I know those guys. These patrons directly support the show. Get ad free episodes, access to our Patreon only Discord server bonus content like Second Wind and Behind the Screen and other stinky perks. Once again, that's stinky dragonpod.com we are incredibly grateful for your support which makes this show possible. Some of Our friends voiced NPCs in this episode like Bun Light voiced by Devin Finn EvanCurothers the silent steed voiced by Jessica Fasami at Jessica Vasami. That's three 4A 5A's. Yeah, Jessica Vasami Private Mark Book voiced by Mike Pearl at Pertle Tronic one Private Dog Ear voiced by Mort Burke Mort Burke from the podcast Rebrand rebrandthepod. Chris and Blaine were guests on a recent episode where they attempted to rework the Quaker Oats brand. Mort also has a stand up special coming out on February 22nd called There's Beauty in It all and is publishing a book called Treehouse on Substack Infernus voiced by Laurel Rothamel at LaurelRothamel. Some of our Stinky Dragon patrons provided the legends of the Bloodbather heard in this episode, like Circe Solar Flare 10 useless ceiling fan Rat Shaker, Abby Mcp this week's Arrow question was submitted by Viola Gameboy. Viola Gameboy Time will tell. I'm a musician so I kind of go with Viola. But you know, Viola is a name. So anyway, hope that makes sense. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst and Micah Reisinger. Written and composed by Micah Reisinger. Just like the vinyl soundtrack coming on right now and edited by Alina Lakorczyk. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Seriously, go check out the vinyl.

[Doug Boone]

Can I ask a quick question? I don't remember us doing this, but we mentioned it before that now we have our personal inventory and our party inventory and somebody in this group put farts in our party inventory.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Wait, we have a party inventory?

[Tolv]

Where did this happen?

[Doug Boone]

I don't know, but somebody put farts.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Who would do that? That.

[Tolv]

That I don't know about.

[Doug Boone]

It's funny, I can't tell if. If it was Gus because his camera was off for a second. So I can.

[Natty]

It was also frozen, like with his hand, like at his chin looking. You know, I'm just.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

That sounds like someone else in this group. That does not sound like me.

[Tolv]

The good news is there are four of them. So each of us gets one.

[Natty]

They were very thoughtful, whoever they were.

[Doug Boone]

We could use them underwater to propel us.

[Kristen Merrissnapple (Gunther)]

Good.

[Tolv]

Oxygen engine bubbles like in Sonic. Quick breathe.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

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[Micah Reisinger]

Lifelock. How can I help?

[Doug Boone]

The IRS said I filed my return, but I haven't.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

One in four tax paying Americans has paid the price of identity fraud.

[Doug Boone]

What do I do?

[Gustavo Sorrol]

My refund though.

[Micah Reisinger]

I'm freaking out. Don't worry, I can fix this.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

Lifelock fixes identity theft guaranteed and gets your money back with up to $3 million in coverage.

[Doug Boone]

I'm so relieved.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

No problem.

[Micah Reisinger]

I'll be with you every step of the way.

[Gustavo Sorrol]

One in four was a fraud paying American. Not anymore. Save up to 40% your first year. Visit lifelock.com podcast terms apply.