C03 - Ep. 43 - Under Oondar Fire - Rules of M’Prov

Summary

Tales from the Stinky Dragon

Campaign 3, Episode 43 – “Under Oondar Fire – Rules of M’Prov”

Release Date: May 13, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode plunges the party—Doug Boone (Barbara Dunkelman), Gunther (Chris), Tolv (Blaine Gibson), and Natty (John Risinger)—into a surreal, hazardous improv challenge devised by their Dungeon Master, Gustavo Stroll. In a nightmarish dreamscape turned twisted night market, the team must face “the Rule of M’Prov” and do battle with a pollution-spewing, improv-themed vending machine in a D&D adventure full of riddles, cartoon logic, and memorable gags.

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Key Discussion Points & Story Progression

1. Player Introductions & Icebreaker (03:01–13:12)

• The players roll for an introductory question: If you could learn a new language, what would it be?
  • Doug Boone (Barbara): Japanese, referencing Doug's (and Barbara’s) love of languages and travel.
    • “Doug Boon has always had an interest in learning Japanese. Because, you know, it’s a very, very cool language.” (05:32)
    • Voice improv bit: “Arigato. Gojaimasu.” (06:00)
  • Gunther (Chris): Draconic, to honor his people's mythical connection to water dragons and for potential dragon communication.
    • “There is some myth in my people that we once descended from a small water dragon. I do not believe it to be true, but I like the idea of it.” (07:12)
  • Tolv (Blaine): The “language of love,” jokes about ongoing struggles, with a bit of Spanish.
    • “But the one language that I struggle to learn is the language of love.” (08:29)
  • Natty Wonder (John): Undercommon, to better connect with wig-making merchants from her hometown night market.
    • Story about negotiating for wigs and not knowing Undercommon (10:10–11:00)
• Light banter about D&D language lore (drow not having Undercommon, etc.)
• Cajun culture interlude: John discusses his real-life inspiration for Mud, linking campaign themes to his own background (12:08–13:12).

2. Vile Habits & Scene Shift (13:12–14:57)

• Question: What’s a vile habit?
  • Gunther: Dumping waste in water, setting up the episode’s environmental themes.
    • “When you dump your waste and trash into the water where children are swimming...you should keep the water clean.” (13:21)
• The dreamscape transforms into a polluted night market full of trash, vending machines, and sludge.

3. The Battle with “Improv”—A Toxic Vending Machine (14:57–46:59)

• Combat Environment: Night market, oil-choked trees, machine dumping trash, “thou shall be curious” rule.
• The foe: A gigantic improvisation-themed vending machine, aggressively dispensing toxic cans (“Yes And” brand).
• First environmental effects:
  • Party rolls constitution saves; all but Gunther are poisoned and take damage from the initial sludge. (15:50–16:17)
• Improv Challenge Mechanics:
  • Improv/creativity is required to fight the vending machine; classic attacks often fail.
  • Cans are labeled “yes and,” machine itself is named “improv.”
  • The team experiments—roleplay, pantomime, gags, and cartoonish solutions are rewarded.
  • DM clarifies rage attack timing for barbarians, referencing official rules (21:34–22:26).
• Key Improv Attacks & Gags:
  • Natty pantomimes a bomb tossed to the machine, which explodes cartoon-style (38:03).
  • The group stages a “zip-zap-zop” classic improv warmup, resulting in cartoonish effects on the machine (40:03–40:50).
  • Tolv creates classic Looney Tunes “portable holes” to bounce the vending machine around (56:05–57:23).
  • Gunther puts an "out of order" sign on the machine (41:23–42:41).
  • Doug tries drinking the “yes and” can; it physically harms her (34:03–36:56).
  • Elevated slapstick: dropping anvils, conjuring kindergartners to mob the machine, pantomime machinery, Acme gags, etc.
• Quotes/Memorable Moments:
  • “Are we fighting capitalism? Like what's—like a Captain Planet villain or something?” – Barbara, 18:56
  • “Never trust a big button to smile.” – Gustavo, referencing both vending machines and 90s R&B (16:28)
  • “That girl is poison.” – Doug sings Bel Biv DeVoe (16:36)
  • “Consume. How about I open your mind with my axe?” – Tolv, hammering the machine (19:05)
  • “Act like you're going up your office elevator.” “Here I go. 28th floor.” – Doug does improv (34:46–34:54)

4. The Aftermath: Meeting the Veiled Eye (59:45–74:32)

• The market vanishes; the party is surrounded by clouds and stars.
• Doug encounters the Veiled Eye, a cloud-body entity with a starry void for a face (59:45).
  • He struggles with memory, asks if Doug has creations to present.
  • Doug presents the “Echo Pulse Locator” device, which is explained in detail.
  • Veiled Eye creates cosmic representations of the party’s inventions—favoring the party’s curiosity and creation.
• The Veiled Riddle:
  • Veiled Eye presents a riddle in a constellation:
    • “Winter, spring, summer, fall. My budding bud likes them all. Three hands up, three hands down. Wears royal robes without a crown. Sometimes bearded. Bathes in light. Armed with swords that never fight. Shares a name with what you see, like coloring fingerprints. Less than three.” (65:12)
  • The party debates the riddle; “iris” is the answer, relating it to “eye” and perhaps flowers.
• Magical Rewards:
  • Each character receives a mystical item:
    • Doug: Guiding Providence Sensor—a destiny-guiding device.
    • Gunther: Ribbit Ribbon—a sword augment for increased reach or retractible blade.
    • Tolv: Thaumatech Compact Disc Overclock Protocol—a software update for increased damage (71:06).
    • Natty: Chain Reins of Rustling—summoning relic with death-runner powers.
  • Items appear in their hands as shooting stars settle.
• The Veiled Eye cryptically warns: “It’s about time you met the Pathfinder.” (73:37)
• The episode ends with the party preparing to meet a long-sought NPC.

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Notable Quotes & Comedy Highlights

• “What’s your language, Gunther?”
  “The language of love.” – Blaine as Tolv (08:29)
• “Are we fighting capitalism?” – Barbara (18:56)
• “It’s trying to ensnare chipmunks and bluebirds.” “It’s Trubbish!” (14:57–14:59)
• “This is all very Looney Tunes/Acme, I love it.” – Blaine (50:00)
• “Nettie fake punches out for the day, takes her helmet off.” (51:21)
• On rage rules: “We are not legally responsible for any decisions you make during your campaign.” – Doug (22:34)
• “That device? Don’t put your drink there, it’s just for a CD.” – Gustavo to Tolv on Thaumatech update (72:05)
• “It's about time you met the Pathfinder.” – Veiled Eye (73:37)

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Important Timestamps

• [03:01] – Start of episode content, icebreaker question (favorite new language)
• [13:12] – Scene transitions to polluted night market, environmental hazards begin
• [14:57] – Introduction of improv vending machine foe, start of environmental effects
• [19:03–22:26] – Improv rules, DM clarifies rage mechanic
• [34:03–36:56] – Doug experiments with drinking the “yes and” can, takes poison damage
• [38:03–40:50] – Natty and Tolv use classic improv and cartoon gags for attacks
• [56:05–57:23] – Tolv’s “portable hole” gag, Looney Tunes bit
• [59:45] – Marketplace vanishes, the Veiled Eye appears
• [65:12] – Delivery of the Veiled Eye’s riddle
• [68:28] – Revelation of magical items for each party member
• [73:37] – Veiled Eye: “It's about time you met the Pathfinder” & episode cliffhanger

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Tone & Style

• Light-hearted, improvisational, with constant riffing and playful meta-humor, mixing cartoon logic and D&D mechanics.
• Frequent witty asides, puns, and references to the rules of both improv and tabletop games.
• The DM, Gus, remains patient and encouraging, rewarding creativity.
• Cast regularly breaks character for comedy and support, especially around rules discussions.

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Summary

C03 Ep.43 “Under Oondar Fire – Rules of M’Prov” is a high-spirited, meta-adventure where the Stinky Dragon adventurers must use creativity, humor, and improvisational thinking to overcome a magical, pollution-spewing vending machine. Drawing on their own storytelling skills and D&D rules knowledge, the players deploy improv and slapstick solutions precisely as the scenario demands, resulting in a comedic—and surprisingly satisfying—encounter.

The battle’s resolution leads to a surreal dream sequence, meeting the enigmatic Veiled Eye, solving a cosmic riddle, and receiving new magical artifacts tied to each character’s identity or past. The episode ends as the adventurers are about to meet the mysterious “Pathfinder”—setting up the next chapter in their ongoing, ever-improvised journey.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a fantastic jumping-on point for listeners drawn to improvisational play, D&D rule-wrangling, and podcasts with a no-holds-barred comedic heart. The cast’s chemistry and creativity shine, especially in the wild improv battle and riddle-solving segment, all while pushing their characters’ growth (and survival) to the limits.

Transcript

[John Risinger]

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[Sponsor Voice]

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[Carvana Advertiser]

Hey, sweetie. Your mother showed me this Carvana thing for selling the car. I'm gonna give it a try. Wish me luck. Me again. I put in the license plate. It gave me an offer.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Unbelievable.

[Carvana Advertiser]

Okay, I accepted the offer. They're picking it up Tuesday from the driveway. I haven't even left my chair. It's done. The car is gone. I'm holding a check anyway. Carvana, give it a whirl.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Love ya.

[Sponsor Voice]

So good you'll want to leave a voicemail about it.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Sell your car today on car pickup fees may apply.

[Narrator]

Hail all you hexahedrus. Slough into the stinky dragon and lap up our latest libation. That ring's a gel. It's a mixture of mutate teabags, boiling brain juice, squeeze of lemon and orange ooze, a dribbling of honey ginger reactive ale and shaken with infuse ooze ice cubes. One engulfing of this glop. And you'll remember that size does matter. Previously, our adventurers dared to dance with deities, demigods and demons until they departed near death's door after a lie down. And look at the apothecarium, which is how it's meant to be pronounced. They left for a lightless luminescent labyrinth. They reluctantly resolve some riddles and randomly rift up an eyebrow raising apparatus. Round up a refreshment and let's resume this rank recollection.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Apothecarum. Hey, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Sticky Dragon. My name is Gustavo Stroll. I'm gonna hit our four players with an arrow.

[John Risinger]

I realized that when the maestro gives their name of the drink, it is extremely reminiscent of the same energy as the pun. Names of the shops that open next to Bob's Burgers. During the opening intro of Bob's Burgers.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yes, absolutely. Everyone go and roll a D20 because you're gonna get ready to answer these question. This question. And this question. These question is these question. If you could learn a new language, what would it be?

[John Risinger]

Kick 1, 8.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

16.

[John Risinger]

16.

[Gustavo Stroll]

So 6. Where'd you go? 16, 8, 6, 1.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Then you guys had those ready to go. My gosh.

[Gustavo Stroll]

All right, 16. Barbara, you're up.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Hello, everybody. It's me, Doug Boone, here for another episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon, the canon campaign. And this answer is also canon to my character. Oh, and I'm a bugbear artificer played by Barbara Dunkelman.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Hello, everybody.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

And you know, as you guys already know from recording this show with me, I know a few languages, including Korean.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Chris]

Wow.

[John Risinger]

You know, the supernatural people of Korea. The fantasy race.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Well, it's funny you should say that, because Doug Boon has always had an interest in learning Japanese. Because, you know, it's a very, very cool language. A lot of really great people I've heard, you know, live there. And it's a really cool place to be and to visit. And whenever Doug gets a chance explore other realms and maybe go to Japan, he'd like to be prepared.

[Gustavo Stroll]

That's a. That's a. That's a good line of thinking. Be prepared for potential future travel.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Arigato. Gojaimasu.

[Gustavo Stroll]

I was going to ask if you. If you could bust some out there.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

It is funny because Barbara knows a little bit of Japanese, but I'm trying to pronounce it poorly as Doug.

[John Risinger]

Oh my gosh. Million dollar idea. We create our own like phone assistant that's voiced by Doug.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh gosh.

[John Risinger]

Doug, set an alarm. Five o'.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Clock.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Okay, but actually your appointment's at 5:30. So I suggest maybe setting it for 4:30 so you have time to shower, you know, have a nice breakfast in the morning. So set an alarm for four thirty.

[Blaine Gibson]

Doug. Doug, stop. Doug, stop. Duck.

[John Risinger]

Stop. Doug, stop.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Anyways, by the way, you know the significance of the time 4:30? Because four plus three is seven.

[Blaine Gibson]

It's your Doug fact of today.

[Gustavo Stroll]

I want this.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yep.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Okay. Thanks. Thanks, Doug. It's. It's good. Good to know.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Sumi, my son.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh,

[Gustavo Stroll]

I believe next may have been Gunther.

[Chris]

Yeah, Christamas here. Gunther Croak folk fighter on board.

[Blaine Gibson]

You sound like a noir detective.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Me? Gunther here at night.

[Chris]

For me, what I would like to learn is the language of Draconic. You see, I. This is. There is some myth in my people that. That we once descended from a small water dragon. I do not believe it to be true, but I like the idea of it. It would be nice to be able to talk to dragons.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yes, I. I've heard people speak Draconic.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

It's.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

It's quite a beautiful language.

[John Risinger]

Beautiful language.

[Chris]

Yes, it is very pretty.

[Blaine Gibson]

Very exotic.

[Chris]

Yes.

[John Risinger]

So according to you, Gunther, the evolutionary tract of a dragon would be to go from there to a croak foe.

[Chris]

Well, that is not what me. I don't believe this. But that is what some people in my village believe.

[Gustavo Stroll]

We went from dinosaurs to chickens. So why would that be such a. Such a crazy idea?

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Have you ever practiced any Draconic sinks? Do you have any Draconic you could bust out for us, Gunther?

[Chris]

I only know. I only know one simple phrase. Which is. Thank you. I'll have another.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Oh, wow. That's beautiful.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Blaine Gibson]

Hurts the ears.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Well, I like it.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Well, as far as arrow answers go to.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

He wants another.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, hello. I'm Blaine Gibson and I play Tolv, the male Thaumatech barbarian Level eight. Yoohoo. Oh, we're talking about languages. You know, I know so many languages I can program them in. But the one language that I struggle to learn is the language of love. Oh yeah, I'm Looking for love in all of the wrong places. And, you know, maybe I can find that someday, you know? In the meantime, I will work on my Spanish over there. They called me do say.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Can we hear a little bit of that?

[Blaine Gibson]

Hola, mi amo doce me incontant Los Angeles.

[Gustavo Stroll]

What?

[Blaine Gibson]

What? What's osos picho? Is that.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Is that bugbear? Is that bugbear? I mean, you said, like, beak bear or spicy bear.

[Blaine Gibson]

Las ranas me gusa las ranas.

[John Risinger]

Gonna call Doug a spicy bear now.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh, spicy bear.

[Blaine Gibson]

What is.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

What's yoohoo in Spanish?

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, it's.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Hola. Hola.

[Blaine Gibson]

In me gusta los las drag queens. I don't know what their names are.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Hola. Me llamo dose. No, that's. That. That's impressive. I was. Oh, I was gonna say take an inspiration dive for your amazing translation of your name into another language.

[Blaine Gibson]

I already got one, but did you know it's.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

It's Juni in Japanese.

[Gustavo Stroll]

All right, Tov. Learning a lot. Learning a lot from everyone. But last up is Natty. Hello, everybody.

[John Risinger]

It is John Risinger here playing Natty Wonder who is a drow drag queen mother. And if I got to learn another language, I think I would just default to always. I've always wanted to understand under common, we get a lot of folk who come and sell their wares in my hometown, in our market, and they're these nice ladies who made the best wigs anywhere. And I couldn't understand. We had the hardest time making transactions work between us because they only spoke under common, and I don't know it. And so we just had to fumble through me getting the right wig that I wanted every time we sorted it. But I would love to be able to just not only be able to buy their wares with a lot more ease, but just compliment them on the beauty of these hairs.

[Blaine Gibson]

Now, Nadia, if they were selling their wares in undercommon, were they selling their underwears?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

You know, it's so funny about that. We don't record visuals for our show, but I was watching Blaine's face during John's answer, and I saw the smirk starting, and I was like, blaine has a joke queued up. It's coming here.

[Blaine Gibson]

Fresh off vacation. I'm full of the energy.

[John Risinger]

Yeah. The vin and vigor.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I could see everyone's tells.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah, it's weird that drought don't get under common as a starting language. I had to verify that as you were talking, John.

[Chris]

Yes.

[John Risinger]

Because it is. It is Elvish in like nature. Yeah, but it Is not a. It's not a drought dialect.

[Gustavo Stroll]

It's. Yeah, I guess from what I can see, Jiragar get it. But not drow, even though it's a language supposedly written in elvish script.

[John Risinger]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Stroll]

This makes no sense. Well, that's what.

[John Risinger]

That's why they were there. You know, it made sense for them to be in the night market with us, but we just, you know, it's just kind of like, you know, just someone in the. In the next town over speaks a little different than you, and you just don't know exactly how they. They use their language.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[John Risinger]

It's coming from someone who's dating a Cajun. They got a whole world over there in Louisiana that's separate from the United States.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Did you. Were you dating your. Your girlfriend during campaign one at all? Or did that start happening after? Because you were essentially like a Cajun character almost. Right? Like inspiration.

[John Risinger]

I know for a fact that, yeah, we were. We were just pre Covid is when we started. So, yeah, all the way. That's why mud is from the bayou.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

The bay bayou. Okay, got it.

[John Risinger]

Micah wanted to incorporate that part of John's life.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Stinky dragon lore.

[John Risinger]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I was like, if you did that before you were dating, it was meant to be.

[John Risinger]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I have. I have. I have adopted my girlfriend's culture of eating just fried brown stuff all day long.

[Gustavo Stroll]

I know it's delicious, but that sounds gross.

[John Risinger]

That's. The Cajun cuisine is delicious and all brown. There's no other colors in there in their spectrum.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Healthy, just like America.

[John Risinger]

Yeah.

[Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)]

What would be a vile habit?

[Chris]

A vile habit is. Oh, I. Yes, it is quite clear. It is. When you.

[Gustavo Stroll]

It.

[Chris]

You dump your waste and trash into the water where people are. The children are swimming, and that is just a vile thing. You should keep the water clean.

[Gustavo Stroll]

As you all are thinking about the answers to these questions in your head, the scenery around you changes. What once was an empty room transforms and becomes a bustling night market. The floor, however, does remain blank and white. And in the night market, you see a giant dream drink vending machine that is smashing its way towards you, dumping trash into all the fresh water that lies around. And the rule of law for this arena is, thou shall be curious. You're surrounded by a moonlit forest of deciduous trees. Market stalls line a thoroughfare between tree trunks. But none of us how Natty remembers the outskirts of. Of her town. The trees are choked by black oil and slimy vines. And instead of technicolored leaves, goopy phlegm dribbles from the branches. The market stalls are stained with sewage and littered with spoiled atreus. Nailed to one of the choke trees is a plastic wrap that reads in aggressive, all caps, thou shall be curious. Bursting through the trees above the canopy is a towering rectangular apparatus of glass and metal. The machines door swinging mouth spits out metal cans that spew toxic gases, tacky tar, and one time, use plastics that ensnare chipmunks and bluebirds.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

It's Trubbish.

[Gustavo Stroll]

What is what? What?

[John Risinger]

What assistance does Trubbish lend to Apopia Land?

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

He could recycle your wastes and things for you.

[John Risinger]

Okay, I was wondering, because I know that they all do something.

[Chris]

Yeah, you look lost, little consumers. Perhaps you need a break and a beverage to slake your thirst.

[Gustavo Stroll]

It cracks open one of its cans, holds it high, and showers the forest and you in a slurry of sludge.

[Chris]

It is gross.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah, it's pretty gross. Everyone make a constitution saving throw.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Oh.

[John Risinger]

Ooh.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh, my God. What did I roll?

[Chris]

N. I rolled a nat 20.

[John Risinger]

Ooh. 9.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

16.

[Chris]

That has 26.

[Gustavo Stroll]

All right, so it's a 10, 26, 16, and 9.

[Blaine Gibson]

I'm gonna use my inspiration.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Die. All right.

[John Risinger]

Heck it.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah.

[John Risinger]

He's that confident, it'll be worth it.

[Blaine Gibson]

16.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Oh, you got a good modifier on that. All right, so, okay, the only one who fails is Natty. As this slurry lands all around you. It just makes you all feel really sick, like you're rotting from the inside. All right, so based on that, the saving throw was 18. So everyone except for Gunther fails. So the three of you who failed, please take 13 points of damage, and you have the poisoned condition.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yikes.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Whoa.

[John Risinger]

Tove's got a virus.

[Blaine Gibson]

And what type of sodas are in this machine? Is it like retired drinks like Shasta and Surge?

[Gustavo Stroll]

Never trust a big button to smile.

[Blaine Gibson]

Fruitopia, Crystal, Pepsi.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Shasta. It's poison by Bilby of DeVoe.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Okay. Never trusted people Smile. That girl is poison.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah.

[John Risinger]

See?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

One of my favorites.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Barbara, take an inspiration. Die.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I already have one.

[Gustavo Stroll]

You asked about the can. Was it you, Tolf? Yeah, Blaine, who had. I always thought it was Shasta. You said Shasta. That kind of blew my mind a little bit. Yeah, you take a look at the can, and it does not say Shasta. Instead, it reads yes and.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh, is this an improv fight?

[Gustavo Stroll]

Orbit Gunther. Real foul. I want to circle back on something. Since you made the save, you take half damage, so you take six points of poison damage. Everyone go Ahead and roll. Initiative.

[John Risinger]

Okay, okay.

[Blaine Gibson]

22.

[Chris]

19.

[Gustavo Stroll]

10.

[John Risinger]

5.

[Gustavo Stroll]

All right, there you go, Gus.

[Blaine Gibson]

It was an order. Inspiration dies all around.

[Gustavo Stroll]

It's pretty good. And I got a 14, so. No, it was not in order. All right. This huge being is towering, menacingly over you and your friends. Tol, what do you think you want to do here?

[Blaine Gibson]

Let's talk, eh, about it. You know, you, You're a machine. I rip off my Bjorn mask. Me, I'm a machine. We got a lot in common, right? We don't have to fight. What's the dealio, huh? Yeah.

[Chris]

Why would rage with the machine?

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, that's good. That's good.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Nice.

[Chris]

Dang it.

[John Risinger]

Dang it.

[Blaine Gibson]

That's really good. I should have raged instead.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Shoot. But you're trying to. You're not trying to go against the machine here. That's.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah, rage against the machine.

[John Risinger]

Yeah, you're right.

[Blaine Gibson]

I've tried to rage with the machine.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You like pull out. Yeah. You pull out a chair from nowhere. Who set it backwards and sit on it. Put your arms on the top. All right, so you're trying to de. Escalate the situation here.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah. So one of my brothers and sisters are in there, huh? Big old angry machine, Big grumper machine.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Why don't you, I guess, make me a. Let's call it a persuasion check. Yeah, persuasion.

[John Risinger]

All right.

[Blaine Gibson]

Nine.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Okay. You try to de escalate and chat with the large metallic creature in front of you, but it seems to just tower there, unmoving and unmoved by your words. It replies.

[Blaine Gibson]

You need to open your minds to

[Chris]

the possibilities of pollution, my little spenders.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Are we. Are we fighting capitalism? Like what's

[Blaine Gibson]

like a cap and planet villain or something?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Consume.

[Blaine Gibson]

How about I. Okay, that's fine. How about I open your mind with my axe?

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Hammer.

[Blaine Gibson]

I don't know. I'm gonna hit it with my hammer.

[Gustavo Stroll]

It's.

[Blaine Gibson]

It's gotta give me glass face. Yeah, I'm gonna try to shatter that glass.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah, go for it.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay, I'm gonna. It is one handed. Well, let's see if I actually make

[John Risinger]

the hit or not.

[Gustavo Stroll]

13. No, that does not hit.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Dang.

[Blaine Gibson]

That's all right. I'm swinging a miss. I'm gonna swing it back around because I have two actions. So we're gonna do that again. And that's a. Oh, how about this, Gus? A 13.

[Gustavo Stroll]

That hits. Just kidding. It does not. That's. That. That is a miss.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

That should be it though, because I feel like you weaken someone's Defenses. When you're trying to, like, open a pickle jar and you, like, can't do it, and then you hand it to someone else and they open it, you're like, I loosened it for you. That should be with, like, hitting something.

[John Risinger]

But he just hit air. He didn't weaken it in any way.

[Gustavo Stroll]

What I was going to say is that his hammer comes through and smashes right into the middle of the glass face of the machine. However, it turns out that it's plexiglass, so your hammer just bounces off. Ineffective curses. Yeah, the whole thing vibrates. And in your hands, the hammer vibrates a little bit and shakes.

[Blaine Gibson]

All right, well, that's my turn.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

That's embarrassing for you.

[Blaine Gibson]

I guess I could. I rage. Let's rage.

[Gustavo Stroll]

It's a bonus action.

[John Risinger]

You sounded like the little dude that pops out at Crash Bandicoot. The little.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

You might want to wait until your next turn because it would have to hit you, I think, for you to keep your rage.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay, yeah, that's a good point.

[Chris]

You really did that in the wrong order, Blaine.

[Blaine Gibson]

The Council of Barbarians has been heard. I. Wait until.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Okay, so when you want to take your turn, usually you rage first, because then if you hit, you know, you'll get a little bit of an extra damage. Some benefits there.

[Blaine Gibson]

Gum? Gum, Anything to say?

[Chris]

That's true. That's true. Yeah. You want to do it that way? Unless you want to cast a spell, then don't rage. Do you cast spells?

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

I don't know if he has spells. I know I didn't have many spells.

[Chris]

It's very hard.

[Blaine Gibson]

Do you guys want to, like, tag in? You know, why not tag?

[Chris]

Let's play tag.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay. All right, Gus, I'm going to tag in. Gum. Gum. For told.

[Gustavo Stroll]

No, no, no. All right, you two get out of here.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

This is in your place, just in your imagination.

[Chris]

You're insane.

[Gustavo Stroll]

You have the Council of Barbarians, I have The Council of DMs on my side here. And I have a point of order from dungeon master Ben Ernst. So rage ends early if you're knocked unconscious or if your turn ends and you haven't attacked a hostile creature since your last turn or taken damage since then. You can also end your rage on your turn as a bonus action. So I was of the same opinion as Barbara, that once you rage, you need to attack. But the way that that's written, you attacked this turn so your rage would stand is my interpretation of the rule as written in the book.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

You don't have to do it first and then Whatever happens after that.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Right. Because the way it's benefits for you

[John Risinger]

to do it first because you get the bonus damage.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Got it.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Right. Yeah. So it is beneficial to do it first. But if you rage at the end of your turn and you attacked in that turn, the rage still would persist. So if you want to rage, you can tolt. And it would continue. It would not drop.

[Blaine Gibson]

Elga, Come, come. You lied to me.

[John Risinger]

Yeah.

[Blaine Gibson]

Rage.

[Chris]

You still made the wrong decision.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

We are not legally responsible for any decisions you make during your campaign.

[Chris]

All right?

[Gustavo Stroll]

They've been swallowed back into the vortex. Then we'll never see them again.

[Blaine Gibson]

What?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Nope.

[Gustavo Stroll]

All right, that's it for Tolve. Which means next up, we've got Gunther.

[Chris]

All right, so this guy is shooting trash at us. And is there a bunch of trash on the ground right now?

[Gustavo Stroll]

There's, like, cans. Empty cans that have been spewing everywhere.

[Chris]

All right, can I pick some up and try and shove him into his coals?

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Chris]

Sorry, wrong voice.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah, that was the wrong voice. I told you to leave.

[Chris]

You will not dirty this nice place.

[Gustavo Stroll]

All right. Yeah. So you gather up a couple, and I guess just try to make like a. Like a unarmed strike.

[Chris]

Yeah. Okay.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yes. So it's a D20, plus your proficiency, plus dexterity.

[Chris]

Yeah. All right, here we go. Unarmed strike. Yeah.

[Gustavo Stroll]

I'll tell you what. Make me an intelligent saving throw.

[Chris]

Oh, okay. Intelligence saving throw. Not my strong suit.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Not bad.

[Chris]

All right, that's a 13.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Okay, you gather up all the cans and begin walking over to the creature to try to stuff them into the various receptacles. What would you call it, anyway? The various holes as you put it on the machine. And as you take your first step in that direction, you forget what you were doing.

[Chris]

What was I doing? Oh, I was drinking the soda.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Oh, that's what you start doing. You start drinking the soda.

[Chris]

Yeah. Oh, yes.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah.

[Chris]

It's delicious. Yeah.

[Gustavo Stroll]

You just. In a moment, occasionally confusion. You. You forget what you were doing and look at the cans in your hand and begin drinking it. You take a drink and then you immediately spit it out because it tastes gross. It's like. Oh, it's Surge. Oh, just kidding. I like Surge.

[Blaine Gibson]

Surge was amazing. All right.

[Gustavo Stroll]

I knew that was gonna make Blaine mad. That's why I picked it.

[Chris]

Oh, I was dying.

[Gustavo Stroll]

There you go.

[Chris]

Gross.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah. So, yeah, you. You got distracted there.

[Chris]

Do not drink the soda.

[Gustavo Stroll]

It is poisoned.

[Chris]

Is that my turn?

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah, that was your action. You can move, I guess. Or if you have any. Well, I guess you picked up cans. Yeah. If you want to move, you can move around.

[Chris]

All right, what about this?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

What about this?

[Gustavo Stroll]

What about that?

[Chris]

As a bonus action, you can expend one superiority die and make a ranged attack with a weapon that has the throne property. I'll just say my turn.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah. And I think we said, like, your bonus action would have been gathering up the cans and whatnot.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah, it's fine.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Oh, it's. It's that creature's turn.

[Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)]

Yay.

[Gustavo Stroll]

I get to play. Okay. It sees tolve in front of it. Gunther taking a sip out of the can and consuming. Natty and Doug have not gone yet. Okay. It opens up its vending machine door like the. Where you that where you grab your goodies out of and tries to bonk tove on the top of the head with it. Such a very.

[Blaine Gibson]

Machines not being nice to other machines.

[John Risinger]

Machine on machine violence.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yes. Yeah.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Rage against the machine.

[Gustavo Stroll]

It bonks a 23.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, my God. Yes. That hits. All right, I just need to unequip my shield, because at this point, it's just gonna happen, you know? What are we doing here?

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

How much does it add to your ac? The shield?

[Gustavo Stroll]

One.

[Blaine Gibson]

Two.

[Gustavo Stroll]

One. It's plus two.

[Chris]

Yeah, just get rid of the shield. I'm the shield guy.

[Blaine Gibson]

It's true, you are, but my shield tells me when there's my brothers and sisters around.

[John Risinger]

You could just give it to Captain Grumbles. He's got one already. He could use two.

[Blaine Gibson]

Grumbles thoughts?

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

I mean, he could just carry the shields for us, you know?

[Gustavo Stroll]

All right, so it bonks you for 26 points of damage. Okay, well.

[Blaine Gibson]

Ah.

[John Risinger]

Ooh.

[Blaine Gibson]

13, because I'm raging.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Oh, there you go. Look, it worked.

[Blaine Gibson]

Do you hear that? Scum gum?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Do you hear that silence on the other end?

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah, they're gone.

[Blaine Gibson]

They're taking lunch. Okay, I understand.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Then after it bonks, you tolve, you hear that loud, booming voice. Once again, give me your coin and

[Chris]

I'll give you contamination.

[Blaine Gibson]

Is that like a.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

That seems like a pretty bad trade.

[Blaine Gibson]

Is that a. Yeah. Is that a new soda? Contamination. Is it going for that extreme hardcore,

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

you know, like, prepare for total contamination. Contamination.

[Blaine Gibson]

It's got, like, taurine in it.

[Gustavo Stroll]

It's taurine and, like, aspartame. It's just terrible.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, red dye.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

40.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Oh, yeah.

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[Gustavo Stroll]

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[Blaine Gibson]

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[Gustavo Stroll]

All right, that's it for the machine for now. So, Doug, you're up.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Okay. I have a theory. So that place that we had to, like, give up something we created, and I gave over my invention of the thing that's supposed to detect wildlife. It seems like this thing is the antithesis of that because it's polluting and it's spewing out garbage and it's trapping animals. Would I.

[John Risinger]

Is it trapping animals?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

It's trying to ensnare chipmunks and bluebirds.

[Narrator]

Oh.

[John Risinger]

With its trash.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, my.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

So am I on any sort of right track in thinking that this might be related, or is it just happenstance?

[Gustavo Stroll]

Make me a. Why don't we call it just make me an intelligence check, Doug?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Well, that's an A teen.

[Gustavo Stroll]

You know, Doug stands there and, you know, ponders this hypothesis and runs through some inquiries in his mind, and he comes to the conclusion that it is probably not connected, that this probably has a more direct connection to each of your individual answers to the question you were posed when you first came into the room.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Okay, well, for the sake of being

[Barbara Dunkelman]

curious, could Doug maybe try to circle this thing and see what it looks like from all angles just to kind of see what this thing is? And maybe if he could detect if it's, I don't know, an illusion.

[Blaine Gibson]

Got a cord?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yeah, cord.

[Chris]

A cord.

[Blaine Gibson]

Power cord. Off button.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Why don't you make me a. I'm sorry, an investigation check. But I want you to have it with advantage because you're being curious.

[John Risinger]

Okay, quick tove. Where's your off button? Maybe it has the same one.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, it's right. You tried again.

[John Risinger]

Almost got you that time.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, you're gonna kill me someday.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

22 for investigation.

[Gustavo Stroll]

You know, you look around, and there is no power cord. However, you do see that the cans, as Tolv already discovered, all have yes and written on them. And you see that at the top of the vending machine? There's a label on it as well.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Could I read it?

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah. The label on the vending machine reads improv. M, P, R, O, V. Improv. Improv. Improv.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Tilt my hat then. Okay, so could I get a can somehow?

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah, absolutely. There's. They're everywhere. I mean, they're just all on the ground.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Okay, let me pick up a can.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Okay, you hold one. It's. Yeah, it's nice.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

What did it say?

[Gustavo Stroll]

It says yes and.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Ugh, I'm super parched right now let me just take a delicious sip of this. Yes.

[Gustavo Stroll]

And careful.

[Chris]

Diet.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, that's a great sound.

[Gustavo Stroll]

All right, so you. You begin trying to drink the. Yes. And. And as soon as it hits your tongue, it just feels, you know, like the most foul sludge that is flavored with artificial sweetener. Why would they put that in there? It doesn't make any sense.

[John Risinger]

Listen, not everybody hates diet beverages in this group right now, okay? So I don't need all this besmirging of my preferred drink.

[Chris]

It is disgusting.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yuck. What's wrong with you?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Wow me.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

On my way to my office job, I happen to pick up a can of this, and, boy, is it delicious.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

That's me. That's Doug doing improv, by the way.

[John Risinger]

Quick, Doug, act like you're going up your office elevator.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Here I go. 28th floor.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Make me a performance check, Doug.

[John Risinger]

Yay. Natty's applauding to help.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

How about a zero on that?

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, no.

[John Risinger]

I'm hold a critical failure.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I'm gonna use my inspiration, though.

[John Risinger]

That's a good use of an inspo.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Not much better. 9.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah, you do that. And out from the ground, an elevator appears. And with a ding, the doors open.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Guys, I figured it out.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Oh, wow.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Elevator's here. But, you know, it'd be really cool to all of a sudden find a giant axe that could destroy a building in one swing right here.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Then with a ding, the elevator doors close, and then it continues rising and disappears into the distance.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Okay, well, I guess I could just do one at a time.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I don't know how far I could keep going on this since I probably have taken an action at this point.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Let's see. You drink, you move. It's a lot. But if you want to take an action, you probably could because you didn't really attack or do anything.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Could I take another drink?

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

I have a theory.

[Gustavo Stroll]

All right. Yeah. Yeah. Do you, like, hold it, or you mean you, like when you say you take a drink or drink like a

[Barbara Dunkelman]

drink, it drink another soda.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah. You somehow stomach it. That disgusting diet beverage and. Yeah.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Okay, and now could I say, oh, wow.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

What is this giant power cable doing over here attached to this giant building that powers it from moving?

[John Risinger]

Bending machine. Vending machine.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Vending machine.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Why don't you make me?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I don't know why I keep thinking it's building.

[John Risinger]

You kept saying building.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I'm just imagining it being really big. And so, like, a skyscraper style.

[Gustavo Stroll]

It's pretty big. Why don't you make me a constitution saving throw 22 okay, you take the drink and, you know, you. You try to get these words out, but just the disgustingness of the drink overcomes you. And you take some. Some poison damage.

[Sponsor Voice]

Takes with a.22.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah. You're able to contain it, but you still do take a little bit of poison damage. You take six points.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Gosh dang it.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Okay.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah. It's just disgusting. You can't bear it.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Okay.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

And then nothing happens.

[Chris]

And you're a bugbear.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah. And then nothing happened. Oh, nice.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

It's true. I can't bugbear it.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah. But nothing seems to happen. Barbara slash Doug.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Okay, I had a theory that, you know, drinking these cans and we improv something. It could. It comes to fruition, but maybe not.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah, I was going to ask it if it can make me, like, spells or, like, healing potions instead of. Yes, and soda. Yes and soda. Available at store.seokydragon.pod.com all right, is that

[Gustavo Stroll]

it for you, Doug? You did a couple things there, Natty.

[John Risinger]

Okay, Natty turns to Gigi and starts, like, huh? And starts pantomiming, like throwing a ball between her and Gigi, like, passing the ball back and forth, like, playing catch. Like a round ball that could fit in both hands. And then as Gigi throws the ball back to Natty, Natty then throws the ball to the vending machine.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Zip, zap, Zop.

[John Risinger]

Okay, and what's the vending machine do?

[Gustavo Stroll]

It seemingly tries to pantomime catching the ball as well.

[John Risinger]

Yeah. And then Nettie goes, oh, no, it wasn't a ball. It was a bomb.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah, with that, you know, the. The top of the vending machine looks down into its own arms and a bomb explodes. And it has, like, that cartoon effect where the top of the vending machine's all black and blown backwards now. Yeah. With a loud, like, cartoonish puff of smoke and flash of light. And it takes a little bit of damage.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

See? See, See, See?

[Blaine Gibson]

Here we go.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Doug, I guess you didn't have to

[Barbara Dunkelman]

drink the soda, but, you know.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. You know, we're learning.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

I would not recommend.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah, Good. Good thing in there, Natty. Anything else you want to do?

[John Risinger]

And then Natty just goes and starts, like, browsing the night market stands just because they're there. And she's Mrs. Shopping.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Okay.

[John Risinger]

So she's just kind of seeing who's got some good tchotchkes to maybe. Maybe get something, you know, she misses home.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah, it's. It's kind of like home, but kind of not at the Same time. It's weird.

[John Risinger]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but she's. I mean, shopping. Chopping.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah, you did mention it was covered in sewage. I will say that much.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Maybe you get a discount.

[John Risinger]

Yeah, listen, Natty's, you know, she's done some thrift store, you know, diving, and you have to get through some garbage where you find your gold. Okay, you're right.

[Gustavo Stroll]

That is words to live by, Natty.

[John Risinger]

Yeah. And so she starts. She finds a. She finds, like, a nice new, like, blouse and holds it up to Cap' n Grumbles and sees if it's Captain Grumbles size because he's. He hasn't had anything new to wear since his death in life.

[Chris]

Great.

[Gustavo Stroll]

That. I presume that is it for Natty, which would take a spectacle to the top. To. To.

[John Risinger]

Okay.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Improv.

[Narrator]

Improv.

[Gustavo Stroll]

What can you. What do you.

[Blaine Gibson]

What do you got? What do you got?

[John Risinger]

Okay, what you want to do to. Is you want to overthink it.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Zip, zap, Zop.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

No.

[Chris]

Zip, zap, Zop. Zip, zap.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Zip, zap, zap.

[John Risinger]

Zip, zap, zap.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Let your mind be free.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay, okay, okay. I go point at myself and I go, zip. I act like I'm, like, being electrocuted. And then I look at Gunther and I'm like, play along. And I say, zap.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Oh.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, he's electrocuted. And then I, like, Kamehameha, point at the vending machine and say, zaaa.

[Gustavo Stroll]

As you do that, it looks down and realizes it's standing in a puddle of sewage. And it holds up a little sign that says yikes. And oh yeah, huge bolts of electricity surround it all, going up and down throughout the entirety of the machine. Then it's left smoldering with a little bit of smoke coming off the top.

[John Risinger]

Perfect. And how much damage did Gunther take from that attack?

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah, Gunther, did you. How much did you commit to this?

[Chris]

I commited 100%.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Gunther takes no damage because he's. He's playing.

[Blaine Gibson]

That might be my turn. I mean, I have two attacks, but I don't know if, like, these are attacks or just kind of turns. You know what I mean?

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah. This is not really like, I think the. The spirit of the two attacks is like a weapon attack. Sure.

[John Risinger]

Got it.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah, I'm good.

[John Risinger]

All right.

[Gustavo Stroll]

That was. That was good. To Gunther, what do you have for us?

[Chris]

Oh, yes. I here am in charge of the vending machine. I. Oh, look, it's not working. Out of order. And put a sign. I like, put a sign on it. It's like the Imaginary sign that says out of order. Not functioning.

[Blaine Gibson]

Spelled completely wrong.

[John Risinger]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Stroll]

In draconic.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Out of orders.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Out of order. All right, let's see if you can make a. Well, no, let's just end this. You go out and put the sign on the machine and yeah, I guess, like, the light inside of the machine turns off and it seems to, like, settle down and power down.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Down.

[Chris]

Oh, you sleepy? Okay. And I guess. Is that it? I'll do that. That is it.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Okay. Metagame wise, just so you're clued and you don't feel like it. It. It's. It's pointless. I'm going to let that do damage to it, but it's going to.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Gustavo Stroll]

It's going to continue.

[John Risinger]

Necrotic damage.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah, I like when I start doing something in a second. I don't want you to think like, oh, well, my thing did nothing.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah, it settles down and seems to be in a power off state. And then, you know, after about six seconds of that, it, like, stands back up and, you know, shakes and the sign goes flying off. Aw.

[Chris]

I fixed it.

[Gustavo Stroll]

As it does that, you know, it powers up and it seems like it may be almost, you know, you say you fixed it, but it's almost like malfunctioning a bit and it begins shuddering. And when it starts shuddering, a mixture of both cans and coins begin flying out of it.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Collect the coins.

[Blaine Gibson]

It's pooping.

[Chris]

It's vomiting.

[Gustavo Stroll]

That too. All right. Yeah. As the cans begin flying around everywhere, everyone make a. Another constitution saving throw.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

24, 23.

[John Risinger]

12.

[Blaine Gibson]

12. Which is like a nat 20 because it's my name, so, you know, I

[Barbara Dunkelman]

feel like we should add that rule into this campaign.

[Blaine Gibson]

I'm pretty sure that's a rule now.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yes.

[Blaine Gibson]

And zip.

[Chris]

Zip.

[Blaine Gibson]

Zomba. Boom.

[John Risinger]

Nine.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Nine. Okay, so once. Or I should say Natty and Toll have the poisoned condition. I'm not sure if you all had it.

[John Risinger]

I already had it.

[Gustavo Stroll]

What is it?

[John Risinger]

What should that have done on my turn?

[Gustavo Stroll]

You have double poison disadvantage on attack

[Barbara Dunkelman]

rolls and ability checks.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Thank you, Barbara. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. So. But you didn't really do an attack or an ability, so it's fine. But yeah, Natty and Tolv are poisoned and take 13 points of poison damage. And Doug and Gunther, you made the save, so you're not poisoned, but you do take six points of poison damage.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Gosh, it's just eating away at my health.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah. So the. The machine powers back up, you know, spews all these coins and pans out and I'm gonna roll a D4 to see who it does this to.

[John Risinger]

Barbara.

[Gustavo Stroll]

One John to Chris. Three tollfor three. Chris or Gunther? Yeah, you put the out of order sign on it so this makes sense. Above you, an anvil appears and falls out of the sky right where you are standing.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Where's the coyote?

[Gustavo Stroll]

Make me a dexterity saving throw.

[Chris]

Okay, Dexterity saving throw. Here I go. 12.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Almost had it. Yeah. The anvil falls and hits you directly on the head. Oh, geez. Call it 13 points of psychic damage. And after it bounces off of your head, the anvil grows forward legs, a tail, and a pair of horns.

[John Risinger]

Oh.

[Gustavo Stroll]

It bellows a snorty, paws its leg like a raging bull.

[Chris]

Oh, let's fight.

[Gustavo Stroll]

It charges straight for you.

[Chris]

I. I'm green, not red. I'm green.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Let's see if it hits. Oh, that hits. I'm pretty sure that's gonna be a miss. That hits. What? AC 13.

[Chris]

That misses?

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah, it, like, very quickly. Like, it surprises you, but you manage to dodge out of the way, and it does not hit.

[Chris]

I conjure a red cape, bait the anvil, then leap out of the way at the last second.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Doug, you are up.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Gosh.

[Chris]

Okay,

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

you know what? See, people do this before. I'm gonna try to light this guy on fire, because I hear that could work. I'm curious which guy.

[John Risinger]

Which guy?

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

The. The vending machine.

[John Risinger]

Oh, the vending machine.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Okay.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

I. I'm curious to see what fire does to this vending machine, Gus.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Okay.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

So curious.

[Gustavo Stroll]

That's. That. That's. That's what you have to do. Yeah. That is one of the rules. How are you gonna do that?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Just use my firebolt.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Okay.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

And that's a 25 to hit.

[Gustavo Stroll]

I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure that hits. Yeah, that hits.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

And that will do 11 points of fire damage.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Ooh, that's pretty good. Yeah, the. The machine begins smoldering and burning, and little bits start melting and little pieces of plastic start falling off.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Okay, that's pretty good. Now, fire resistant. Excellent. That's my turn.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Okay. Yeah.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Keep it in simple.

[Gustavo Stroll]

That's good. Yeah. You know what? Simple does just as much damage. Do you have two attacks?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I do have two attacks. I always forget that.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Thank you, Micah.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Wow.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

You know, that was really good. I'm gonna do it again. This time, 20 to hit.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Oh, yeah, that hits.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Cool. And that will do 10 points of fire damage.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah. Even more melting and destruction on improv. Yeah, it's, you know, seen better days for sure.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

How do you feel now? Big guy, I forgot that I can talk.

[Chris]

Consumption is eternal.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Okay, that's weird.

[Blaine Gibson]

It's not actually talking. It's just the little ticker LED screen on his. Above the coin slot.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Pepsi half off.

[John Risinger]

Like a spell and speak.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah, eternal.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

That was good.

[Gustavo Stroll]

That was really good to have.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

You're really good at doing like a robotic voice.

[Blaine Gibson]

Tomorigato.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Where did you learn that skill?

[Gustavo Stroll]

You know, around. All right, that's it for Doug. Which means it is.

[John Risinger]

Natty, how far was there any distance between the anvil and the vending machine?

[Gustavo Stroll]

It's all really close to each other because Gunther had gone up and put the sign. Okay. And the anvil would have fallen on it. So they're all like within 5ft of each other. Okay.

[John Risinger]

Nettie, I'm worried about taking a step forward because Gunther had a weird reaction when he moved forward, but Tol did it when he moved forward to attack with the hammer.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Am I remembering that all correctly?

[Chris]

Well, I moved forward to pick up the trash and then had to make an intellect saving throw.

[John Risinger]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Before I could throw it or something. It was kind of weird.

[Gustavo Stroll]

It's almost like. Yeah, his. His mind got muddled.

[John Risinger]

Okay.

[Chris]

But that dealt with the trash. I don't know if the trash had something to do with it.

[John Risinger]

Okay, then I need to do. Do something to do something brilliant. Yeah. Because Gunther and Tove are also up against the anvil and the vending machine. Right. In like melee range.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Correct. But the anvil has. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The anvil has only attacked Gunther, but that's only because it's gone once.

[John Risinger]

Okay, Natty's. Natty's got a plan. Natty, Mime's putting on like a big helmet on Natty's head and she kind of. Mime's putting on like her coveralls and puts them up and she starts pantomime walking to her made up job. And then she gets in this piece of machinery and starts pulling levers and she starts moving her fake giant garbage. What do you call the place where all the garbage goes? The dump. Like those, Those, those magnetic cranes. And starts moving it over to where the. Sorry.

[Narrator]

Tolve.

[John Risinger]

Moves it over to where the machines are and turns it on at full blast to suck them up into the sky to her giant magnet.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Take that, Gus.

[John Risinger]

What happens, Gus?

[Gustavo Stroll]

Well, no, it's like the first question is Tolv magnetic?

[Blaine Gibson]

I think so. And to add to the Looney Tunes nature of it, I feel like he would be ripped out with such force, he would leave his Bjorn skin on the ground. And in the form of standing tolve and then he would go and then fall to the ground.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

This is all very Looney Tunes acme. I love it.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah, I love it. All right, so, yeah. Tolls, the anvil and improv are all ripped up from the ground into the magnet.

[John Risinger]

And then Natty pushes another button that changes the polarity of the magnet so. So that thaumatech is not grabbed anymore. Oh. And then proceeds to swing the crane around with the anvil and the vending machine attached.

[Blaine Gibson]

And while all this stuff is happening, that dun dun, dun, dun,

[Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)]

dun, dun,

[Blaine Gibson]

dun, dun, dun dun.

[Gustavo Stroll]

That's such a great tune.

[John Risinger]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gustavo Stroll]

So first of all, we'll do a dexterity save for Tol just to make sure he hits the ground safely.

[Blaine Gibson]

Perfect. I have advantage on deck saving throws. So that's a 15 and a 6. 15.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah. You're able to break the fall. You roll into it like a well practiced parkour expert. And you don't take any damage from the fall. Cool. However, you look up and you see that the anvil and improv are spinning around faster and faster.

[John Risinger]

And Natty then at like, high velocity, pushes the button to turn off the magnet.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah. Then the magnet is demagnetized and improv and the anvil go flying into the distance.

[John Risinger]

And Natty fake punches out for the day, takes her helmet off.

[Blaine Gibson]

Punch card.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

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[Barbara Dunkelman]

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[Barbara Dunkelman]

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[Gustavo Stroll]

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[Barbara Dunkelman]

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[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah, they go flying into the distance and suddenly another elevator rises from the ground with a ding lat out steps improv with stars circling above where its head would be. It grabs the stars and tries to bonk you with them.

[John Risinger]

Well, Natty didn't take her helmet off yet, so

[Gustavo Stroll]

my roll for Bonk is 23.

[John Risinger]

That's. Yeah, that hits. Yeah, yeah, I saw you roll a 13. And I knew you had a modifier, so I was like, you've got this. You got this, my dude.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah. So you get bonked for 26 points of bludgeon damage.

[John Risinger]

Yikes.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Exactly. That's the spirit.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

That's quite the bonk.

[John Risinger]

Natty is low.

[Chris]

That's bonkers.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Hey.

[John Risinger]

Natty has taken a lot of poison

[Gustavo Stroll]

damage, but that was Natty's turn. So 12.

[Blaine Gibson]

All right, bear with me here. This is. This is a lengthy one, but I think it's gonna be fun. Is there a ceiling, or are we in an outdoor space?

[Gustavo Stroll]

It's like an outdoor space.

[John Risinger]

Liminal, dark space.

[Blaine Gibson]

Is there. Are there any roofed things? You know, you mentioned before that they have, like, vending areas and stuff like that. Do any of them have, like, awnings of any sort?

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah, there's little awnings and, you know, little, like, cloth roofs on these stalls. Okay. And there are trees as well.

[Blaine Gibson]

So I try to get the attention of improv and the anvil. And I pull out, but the anvil's gone.

[Gustavo Stroll]

The anvil did fly away. Oh. So now it's just improv friendly.

[Blaine Gibson]

So I get the attention of improv and then I.

[Gustavo Stroll]

How?

[Blaine Gibson]

I tap him. Ding, ding, ding, ding.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Okay.

[Blaine Gibson]

And I pull out a piece of black chalk, and then I go under one of the awnings of the stalls, and I draw a big black circle on the ground, and then I draw a big black circle on the awning. And then I put the marker away, I walk over to the circle, and I start jumping on it, and nothing happens. And then I. I scratch my head, and then I welcome improv to come take a look at this.

[John Risinger]

Jesus.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Uh huh huh. Yeah. Do they come? Improv wanders over and, like, leans down and looks. Okay.

[Blaine Gibson]

And then I push them into. It is now a hole. The. The one on the ground speaking with portals. So then they're just going, like, between the two circles. They're flying.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Blaine Gibson]

Of course, then in classic Looney Tunes nature, I pull one of the holes and put it on a wall of the stall, forcing them to just shoot out with all that velocity that they've gotten.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Sure.

[John Risinger]

Oh, no, Tov, you place that other hole in a direction that's facing towards Gunther.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah. Improv goes through, accelerating through the holes, and then shoots out and hits a nearby tree. And. Yeah. Sparks seem to fly everywhere.

[John Risinger]

And.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah. Very, very George of the Jungle coded.

[John Risinger]

Yeah, it is.

[Blaine Gibson]

Their limbs are, like, stretched across this tree.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Right. Just the body is blocked by the tree, and the arms and legs on either side of it.

[Blaine Gibson]

Now every visual gag from a Looney Tunes cartoon is hitting me, and I'm just like, okay, next turn. Next turn.

[Gustavo Stroll]

I want to ruin it. Yeah. The improv seems rather beaten and not moving so well at this point. Gunther.

[Chris]

Yes. Right this way, children. The snacks are over here. Come along. All of the. All children. And then.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Yeah, don't make them drink that soda.

[Blaine Gibson]

It's a bunch of little giggies, though.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah. And then like, gestures and. And there's like, snack machine. Go get all the snacks and be rough.

[Gustavo Stroll]

And be rough. Yeah, you. You do that. And seemingly out of nowhere, a. Like a field trip, like a class of. A couple of kindergartners appear and begin running and mobbing improv, all banging on it, trying to get snacks and drinks.

[Chris]

Oh, look, giant baby.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Oh, giant baby. Yeah. And they begin.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I love this scene from Weapons.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah, exactly what I was thinking. They begin beating at it. And after several seconds of that, improv disappears. And once improv disappears, the children disappear too. And all the surroundings, the stalls and the marketplace you were in, disappears as well. The ground turns into a glossy reflective floor, almost like glass. Yellow mist softens into small puffs of clouds slowly circling you. Cloudy skies directly above sunder, revealing constellations of shifting stars. Doug. In the glass floor, you recognize a reflection not of yourself, but a familiar face that is half metal mask and half obscured with a void of stars. His body made of clouds. The veiled eye looks up at you.

[Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)]

I know your face, but I'm sorry, I don't recall your name. My memory comes and goes. The further I am from familiarity, the more difficult it becomes. Why are you here again? Are you one of my patrons? Here to present one of your creations?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

The further he is from his.

[Gustavo Stroll]

From Familiarity.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Familiarity. The further he is from like. Or the worse his memory gets, the

[Gustavo Stroll]

more difficult it becomes.

[Chris]

Familiarity?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Well, he was probably moved for his safety or if he. Okay.

[Chris]

Or because they put them in the opposite places of where they're supposed to be.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Maybe. Yes, devildai, I am one of your patrons. But where are you right now? Do you know?

[Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)]

It's not familiar to me. It's someplace new.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Can you describe it at all?

[Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)]

It's difficult to ascertain. But perhaps paying some homage can further clarify my vision.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Okay, well, I. I did create something, but it's not with me anymore.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Cuz I didn't. I give it to you.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Just presented it. But then you got it back. It's just like you. You showed it it was, and then. Yeah, you took it Back my misunderstanding. It. It. Yeah, it. It. You. You. You think that it disappeared, or you think you had given it up, but then, you know, as you're. As you're talking about it and thinking about it, it's just. It's just in your hand.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Okay. Yes, I have created something. It's one of my newest inventions that I'm really proud of. I'm. I'm holding it now. I don't know if you could sense it, but it's here with me.

[Chris]

Oh.

[Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)]

Why don't you tell me what it does?

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Oh, you got it. Let me remember. Exact phrase.

[John Risinger]

I think it makes Julian Fries.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Yeah. So it's called the echo Pulse Locator. It emits a soft sound and pulses kind of like a bat echolocation to detect hidden animals without causing them to panic or anything. And it also draws them into the device's location. So it's done in a really safe and gentle manner.

[Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)]

Oh, that's amazing. That's wonderful. What a fantastic invention. And you came up with this all on your own?

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

I did, yeah. I come up with all my inventions on my own, actually. Just typically work alone, you know, These guys here with me are my friends, and they're my, you know, party members. But the inventions are just. Doug.

[Chris]

Yeah, we like to party.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah. Also, I'm a robot, but I'm not his invention. But, like, I don't know, you might like this. Just show him, like, the robot. I just do the robot dance.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

I don't know if you could hear or see my fellow party members right now, but whatever they're saying, we just went through, like, a pretty crazy battle, so they might be a little bit tired and, you know, just not thinking straight. So this is a, you know, no reflection on Doug.

[Chris]

Gunther dances, too.

[Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)]

I sense perhaps you have many ideas. Are there any others you're working on as well, Doug?

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Well, Doug is always thinking of ideas, but, you know, sometimes it's I have a need or someone I care about has a need, and I fix things up for them or I create something for them. You know, like I. I fixed up To's axe the other day, and he's been using that bad boy pretty well.

[John Risinger]

And.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah, as you say that a cloud appears of that ax, that axe.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Then, as you know, as you're looking at it, you know, it's the axe, it's Tove's axe that you repaired, and it begins morphing. You know how clouds, like, shift and move and they're never quite the same, like, little bits of it Fly away from the main part. Other parts come in and add onto the cloud body itself, and it begins to look like a different axe, Almost like some kind of mechanized hand axe.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Oh, I know that one. I think that's the axe I created for my brother.

[Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)]

I see so many inventions. Many, many things created by your hand.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Well, that. That one. That one. I. I have a. I'm not really proud of that one.

[Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)]

Well, the important thing is that every invention leads to innovation.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

That's a really wise thing to say to no surprise, of course. The veiled eye. You know, you know a lot. A whole lot.

[Gustavo Stroll]

The body of clouds that kind of make up the veiled eye begin swirling and reveal a void of stars. They form into a constellation before your eyes, but not shapes. Instead, it forms words.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Could I. Am I able to read it? Is it in a language that I understand?

[John Risinger]

Yeah, actually, now you can read it right now. It says the stars at night are

[Barbara Dunkelman]

big and bright right deep in the heart of Texas.

[Gustavo Stroll]

That was one of my favorite scenes in that. Pee Wee's Big Adventure, you know.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, really?

[Chris]

Quick.

[John Risinger]

They have.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

All of our international fans have no idea what we're talking about.

[Blaine Gibson]

Dewey's bike is on display at the Alamo. Really?

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah. They make a basement for it.

[John Risinger]

They have a little area.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah. Doug, you absolutely can read the. The words that the constellation makes.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

And is everyone else seeing this, too, or is it just Doug?

[Gustavo Stroll]

Just you see it, Doug?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Just me. Okay.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah.

[John Risinger]

Natty's changing Giggy's diaper, and that takes her whole focus.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah. Everyone else sees the. The room, you know, the. The change in the floor, everything else disappearing. But only you see the veiled eye.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Okay.

[Gustavo Stroll]

And only you see the words that the constellation forms.

[Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)]

Winter, spring, summer, fall. My budding bud likes them all. Three hands up, three hands down. Wears royal robes without a crown. Sometimes bearded. Bathes in light. Armed with swords that never fight. Shares a name with what you see, like coloring fingerprints. Less than three.

[Gustavo Stroll]

And this is chat, if you want to see.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Yes. I was literally furiously writing it down, and then I saw that Micah put it in the chat.

[Blaine Gibson]

Budding butt.

[Gustavo Stroll]

My budding, budding buds.

[Blaine Gibson]

It's budding buds, bud.

[Gustavo Stroll]

It's in the chat, Buddy Bud.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Is there, like, a kind of a reality check?

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

No.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Okay.

[Gustavo Stroll]

No. You can maybe confer with your party, maybe share. Maybe they have some kind of insight.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Okay. Hey, guys. Natty, you could just listen. You could keep focusing on what you're doing over there. I'm getting a vision from the veiled eye, and I could See some words in the sky.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

And then I think I would recite them back. I don't know if you want me to say the whole thing to them.

[Gustavo Stroll]

It's up to you.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Winter, spring, summer, fall. My budding bud likes them all. Three hands up, three hands down. Wears royal robes without a crown. Sometimes bearded. Bathes in light. Armed with swords that never fight. Shares a name with what you see. Like colory fingerprints. Less than three.

[Chris]

Are they. Is it a cactus?

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Lesson three. Doesn't that make, like a heart?

[Gustavo Stroll]

Doug's very in touch with modern symbology. Modern runes.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

What do I like?

[Barbara Dunkelman]

It says, shares a name with what I see. But is there anything in particular that I'm seeing that stands out other than, of course, the words in the sky?

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah. I mean, there's that room. That's the shimmering. Excuse me. The glossy reflective floor. There's yellow mists that softened into puffs of clouds circling around you. Cloudy skies.

[John Risinger]

It seems like it's. I think you're on the right track. That it's something with, like a plant with thorns is what he's talking about.

[Chris]

Thorns? Yes.

[Blaine Gibson]

Something to thorns, sometimes. Bearded.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Bearded.

[John Risinger]

Non Bearded.

[Blaine Gibson]

Dragon.

[Chris]

Catfish.

[Gustavo Stroll]

You say catfish, but they have, like, whiskers.

[John Risinger]

If it's. If it lacks all the. All the seasons, it must be something that's like an evergreen kind of thing. Yeah.

[Blaine Gibson]

Budding bud.

[Chris]

Oh.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Three hands up. Three hands down.

[Blaine Gibson]

It's not a clock.

[John Risinger]

Well, if you looked at, like, a tree, it looks like, I don't know, this might be stretching, but it looks like if you put like, three hands up, it's like all the branches and leaves, and then three hands down is all the roots and stuff.

[Chris]

Like a pine tree.

[Blaine Gibson]

Something that. Or a spider.

[Chris]

Swords that never fight.

[John Risinger]

Okay, we give up. Veiled Eye. What is it

[Gustavo Stroll]

you don't see? The Veiled Eye.

[John Risinger]

But I know that's why I'm just speaking out into this void.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Is it maybe referring to an eye?

[John Risinger]

Is it the Wilderflower?

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Is it referring to an eye, like an actual eyeball or like an iris?

[Gustavo Stroll]

Shooting stars are from the Veiled Eyes Body, and each of them settle into your respective hands. The starlight slowly dims, revealing magical relics. Doug, in your hand, you see a wrinkled blueprint with schematics for a new device called the Guiding Providence Sensor. The Guiding Providence Sensor. It's a blue brick shaped device with antenna and dials. It contains windows with an animated map, and it allows you to receive divine guidance to your destiny.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Like a dowsing machine.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Dousing rod, some kind. Yeah, dowsing I'll just. So it was an iris and you did save it.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

I figured it out. I can figure it out.

[Gustavo Stroll]

You did and you did, Gunther. Seemingly it kind of shocks you that this shooting star seems to come out of nowhere and lands in your hand. And in it you. In your hand, you find a croak. Folk crafted wrapping known as the Ribbit ribbon.

[Chris]

The ribbon.

[John Risinger]

What's that do? Gunther?

[Chris]

I don't. Do I know what this does.

[Blaine Gibson]

He puts it in his luscious hair.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Of course.

[Chris]

Yes. This he puts on his Doug Fur wig.

[Gustavo Stroll]

You can wrap it around the hilt of your sword to augment it and give you additional abilities.

[Chris]

Oh, this is good stuff. I like this.

[Blaine Gibson]

That's cool.

[Gustavo Stroll]

And you can wrap it around the hilt of a sword to lash out at your enemies or keep your tongue tied.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

What?

[Gustavo Stroll]

As a bonus action, you squeeze the hilt twice and you gain additional reach on it. Oh. So. But you don't have to get as close to your enemies to. To attack them. Alternatively, you can tap the hilt on any hard surface and the blade collapses into the hilt. And then you can tap it again to extend it. Like a lightsaber.

[Chris]

Yeah, that's cool.

[John Risinger]

Or a switchblade.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

It's very cool.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah. Or switchblade. Tolv. Yes, Tolv. The shooting star lands in your hand and you see a shimmering Thaumatek crystal.

[John Risinger]

Ooh.

[Gustavo Stroll]

It's known as the Thaumatech Compact Disc Overclock Protocol Software.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Say that five times fast.

[John Risinger]

Compact disc tcd.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay, what was it again?

[Gustavo Stroll]

The Thaumatech Compact Disc Overclock Protocol Software.

[John Risinger]

Overclock Protocol software. TCD Ops tc.

[Gustavo Stroll]

You can ingest the data, you can stick it. Stick it in your mouth, and you can perform. Perform a software update. Oh.

[Blaine Gibson]

Ooh. Is this Big sur? What is it? It's one of the Apple names.

[Gustavo Stroll]

It's a snow leopard.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, I love this one.

[Gustavo Stroll]

It's a. Yeah. It's a thin circular disc of glass, and there's an inscription on one side that reads DPS Amplification Final Version 2.1. And it shimmers with rainbow colors on the other side.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Are these gifts from you, veiled eye?

[Blaine Gibson]

Yes.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Wow.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

I didn't get you anything.

[Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)]

You presented your invention.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

That's very true.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Tolf this. Basically, it's an overclock protocol, and it increases your damage output to 1d20.

[Blaine Gibson]

Good Lord.

[Chris]

Whoa.

[Blaine Gibson]

So attacks just now have an additional D20. Oh. It has three charges. I see.

[Gustavo Stroll]

That's a lot. Oh, do you see it?

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah, I just added a two.

[Gustavo Stroll]

My thing oh, you got it. Okay. Yeah, yours is in there. Okay, great.

[Blaine Gibson]

Insert new mount to download software update. Tolv opens his mouth really wide and then a disc tray comes out.

[Gustavo Stroll]

It's not a coaster. You don't put your drink there. It's just for a cd. So yeah, there are, it is a little unstable. There may be, there may be some, some bugs that still are to be worked out. This is after all version 2.11. Of course.

[John Risinger]

Of course. Well, and if you're going to overclock your system, it's going to come with its own, you know, problems.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yep, yep.

[Blaine Gibson]

To sticks it in his mouth. It goes back in. He kind of shut downs for a minute and then you hear like a, to like a, like a startup thing and then a bunch of like, like, like electronic kind of dial upy downloading sounds.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Love it. Natty, as you're changing Diggy's diaper, one of the shooters stars lands in your hand.

[John Risinger]

Oh, but it misses Natty's hand and lands in the diaper.

[Gustavo Stroll]

No, now you gotta retrieve it.

[Chris]

It's a dark star, black star.

[Gustavo Stroll]

It's a coiled relic known as the chain reigns of rustling.

[Blaine Gibson]

And you have to stick it in the mouth.

[Gustavo Stroll]

It's horse reins made of black chains and it feels like sand to the touch. The chains don't make much noise and you can. It allows you to summon those who seek runaways of death.

[John Risinger]

Oh, I like that.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

You rustling.

[John Risinger]

Yee haw.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Cool.

[John Risinger]

Natty, I guess, I don't know, puts it around her neck as like a necklace. I don't know how to carry this, but I'm going to put it that way.

[Gustavo Stroll]

You'll figure it out. Yeah. And you know, as you all look over these shooting stars and these items that have landed in your hand, you look down and you realize you can see the veiled eye as well. And the veiled eye is looking up at the four of you.

[John Risinger]

I.

[Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)]

And remember it's about time you met the Pathfinder.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

Like right now.

[John Risinger]

Yeah. Where we've been looking, man, I didn't even dress up.

[Blaine Gibson]

I'm still, you know, wearing the not good suit.

[Gustavo Stroll]

I feel like I need to just

[Blaine Gibson]

spruce myself up a bit.

[John Risinger]

Do you have other pairs of like sets of skin that you put on?

[Blaine Gibson]

I'm working on it. I measure Maddie up.

[John Risinger]

It's like Terminator looking for someone who's got clothes that fit him.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Your clothes. Give them to me. But to find out what happens, you have to tune in next time to the next episode of Tales from the Stinky dragon.

[John Risinger]

We're never finding this stupid God who's supposed to help us find stuff. They're just gonna be.

[Gustavo Stroll]

He's not supposed to help you find stuff. Just in general helps find stuff. Yeah, that's a. They get a lot of very highly yourself there.

[Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)]

I am.

[John Risinger]

I am main character energy. Thank you very much.

[Blaine Gibson]

Toll's gonna spray a little bit of mouth freshener in and like kind of slick back his hair. Okay, let's.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Let's meet this fella.

[Blaine Gibson]

Let's do this.

[Gustavo Stroll]

You got to get the compact disc out of your breath. We've released a Diagem die [e-mail] Tis right. Thy prayers hath been answered, all ye faithful followers of Dia. The sacred Diagems have been unearthed and can now be yours in the form of dice. Unlock the celestial and magical mysteries of Dia with all six colorful gemstone Diagem dice and the pearlescent white Diadem of Diagems D20. Fair warning to all followers of DIA. These premium glass and stone dice have been known to make you roll like gods. In honor of our five years of magic, get your Diagem dice set at store.stinkydragonpod.com don't miss the extra content on our Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Not only do we share grand tales of our podcast, but also post action packed gameplay videos in our side splitting animation and puppet shorts that shall bring a chuckle to even the grimmest of adventurers. Subscribe today and never miss a [e-mail] inkydragonpod. New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday, wherever your streams of podcasts flow and on The Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Tired of waiting for the next adventure and looking for a quest? Join the ranks of the Stinky Dragon [e-mail] to get early access to episodes and unlock a horde of exclusive treasures and powerful artifacts. Like every one of our patrons gets access to access to our member only discord. That's like entering an adventuring guild hall where you instantly gain thousands of allies, fierce fellowship and incredible insights. Say goodbye to TPKs. You can also receive a coveted shout out on the show. Just like Soren, Jakerem, Marinosaurus, Rex, and Nuffle, these putrid patrons directly support the show and get access to all of these perks and more on our Patreon. Stop missing out on the adventure. Become a patron [e-mail] Some NPCs were named after patrons from our Sneaky Dragon Discord and some of our friends provided voices in this tale, including Improv voiced by Bill Sunderland at Escape this podcast with guests playing on audio Escape rooms, including a recent episode featuring Chris and Blaine. Other shows featuring Bill and partner Danny. Solving original murder mysteries is called Solve this Murder. The Veiled Eye, voiced by Andre Ouelette. Andre Krat. This week's hour question was submitted by Alfred Unlund. One of those this episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst and Michael Reisinger, written, composed by Michael Risinger and edited by Alina Lecorchek. Join us in the tavern next time for another aromatic adventure of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Just make me an intelligence check, Doug.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Not Barbara.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Barbara's not there. Doug's there.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Well, that's an A18.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Yeah, and Doug's a pretty smart dude, unlike Barbara. No, I'm just saying, like, have faith in Doug.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

I'm a smart woman, not a smart dude.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Have faith in Doug. Doug is. You're trying to make me out. Like I said something I did or I had some intention that I did not.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Don't worry, Gus. I know you think I'm smart. Otherwise you wouldn't have had me work on RTX with you.

[John Risinger]

Or maybe it's because you were dumb

[Blaine Gibson]

enough to join us to work on

[John Risinger]

that hell of a project.

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[Gustavo Stroll]

and Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if. If it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[Blaine Gibson]

Hey, everyone.

[Barbara Dunkelman]

Check out this guy and his bird.

[Gustavo Stroll]

What is this, your first date? Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[John Risinger]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.

[Gustavo Stroll]

Anyways, get a [e-mail] or with your local agent. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.