
Loading summary
John Risinger
This is not a drill. Stinkers. For the first time ever, the heart of the Babayu is coming to your shelf. It's the official mud U2's plush. Available for pre order right now only at stinkydragonpod.com mud that's with two D's standing a huggable 9 inches tall, mud is made from the softest moss and soil Gumbo could find. Oh, it also comes with a little Gumbo companion doll too. He's good for cuddling big furry hugs. And if you're smart, you'll buy an extra one for your animal companion while you're at. But listen closely. Like the rare swamp bloom that I am, my plush won't be around for long. Pre orders close May 15. After that, it's gonna wild shape right out of existence. This is the only window to bring it me home. Don't let this guy wander the baby alone. Pre order Mud and gumbo now@stinkydragonpod.com mud Come on, gumbo. I could really use a coffee.
Sponsor Voice
This episode is sponsored by Hero Forge. As we oft play officers and bosses, so have the people of Earth found great joy in tabletop roleplaying? But what if the character cast in your imagination could be forged in real life? Well, shut up. Because they can. Hero Forge offers fully customizable tabletop miniatures with dozens of fantasy species and thousands of parts to choose from. Design a mini for your favorite RPG character right from your browser and have it sent to you. Or download Heroforge model files and 3D. Print your unique designs at home. You probably think they offer nothing else, but shut up again. For with their monthly subscriptions, thou art granted access to services like kitbashing, photobooth, community library, and more. They also offer 3D printed dice in a variety of sizes and shapes. So shut up and use Code glassbox to get 5% off on all orders of physical miniatures not combinable with other sales or promotions. Visit heroforged.com to start designing your custom miniature and dice today and check back often. New content is added every week.
Carvana Advertiser
Hey, sweetie. Your mother showed me this Carvana thing for selling the car. I'm gonna give it a try. Wish me luck. Me again. I put in the license plate. It gave me an offer.
Gustavo Stroll
Unbelievable.
Carvana Advertiser
Okay, I accepted the offer. They're picking it up Tuesday from the driveway. I haven't even left my chair. It's done. The car is gone. I'm holding a check anyway. Carvana, give it a whirl.
Gustavo Stroll
Love ya.
Sponsor Voice
So good you'll want to leave a voicemail about it.
Barbara Dunkelman
Sell your car today on car pickup fees may apply.
Narrator
Hail all you hexahedrus. Slough into the stinky dragon and lap up our latest libation. That ring's a gel. It's a mixture of mutate teabags, boiling brain juice, squeeze of lemon and orange ooze, a dribbling of honey ginger reactive ale and shaken with infuse ooze ice cubes. One engulfing of this glop. And you'll remember that size does matter. Previously, our adventurers dared to dance with deities, demigods and demons until they departed near death's door after a lie down. And look at the apothecarium, which is how it's meant to be pronounced. They left for a lightless luminescent labyrinth. They reluctantly resolve some riddles and randomly rift up an eyebrow raising apparatus. Round up a refreshment and let's resume this rank recollection.
Gustavo Stroll
Apothecarum. Hey, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Sticky Dragon. My name is Gustavo Stroll. I'm gonna hit our four players with an arrow.
John Risinger
I realized that when the maestro gives their name of the drink, it is extremely reminiscent of the same energy as the pun. Names of the shops that open next to Bob's Burgers. During the opening intro of Bob's Burgers.
Gustavo Stroll
Yes, absolutely. Everyone go and roll a D20 because you're gonna get ready to answer these question. This question. And this question. These question is these question. If you could learn a new language, what would it be?
John Risinger
Kick 1, 8.
Barbara Dunkelman
16.
John Risinger
16.
Gustavo Stroll
So 6. Where'd you go? 16, 8, 6, 1.
Barbara Dunkelman
Then you guys had those ready to go. My gosh.
Gustavo Stroll
All right, 16. Barbara, you're up.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Hello, everybody. It's me, Doug Boone, here for another episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon, the canon campaign. And this answer is also canon to my character. Oh, and I'm a bugbear artificer played by Barbara Dunkelman.
Barbara Dunkelman
Hello, everybody.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
And you know, as you guys already know from recording this show with me, I know a few languages, including Korean.
Gustavo Stroll
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Chris
Wow.
John Risinger
You know, the supernatural people of Korea. The fantasy race.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Well, it's funny you should say that, because Doug Boon has always had an interest in learning Japanese. Because, you know, it's a very, very cool language. A lot of really great people I've heard, you know, live there. And it's a really cool place to be and to visit. And whenever Doug gets a chance explore other realms and maybe go to Japan, he'd like to be prepared.
Gustavo Stroll
That's a. That's a. That's a good line of thinking. Be prepared for potential future travel.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Arigato. Gojaimasu.
Gustavo Stroll
I was going to ask if you. If you could bust some out there.
Barbara Dunkelman
It is funny because Barbara knows a little bit of Japanese, but I'm trying to pronounce it poorly as Doug.
John Risinger
Oh my gosh. Million dollar idea. We create our own like phone assistant that's voiced by Doug.
Barbara Dunkelman
Oh gosh.
John Risinger
Doug, set an alarm. Five o'.
Barbara Dunkelman
Clock.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Okay, but actually your appointment's at 5:30. So I suggest maybe setting it for 4:30 so you have time to shower, you know, have a nice breakfast in the morning. So set an alarm for four thirty.
Blaine Gibson
Doug. Doug, stop. Doug, stop. Duck.
John Risinger
Stop. Doug, stop.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Anyways, by the way, you know the significance of the time 4:30? Because four plus three is seven.
Blaine Gibson
It's your Doug fact of today.
Gustavo Stroll
I want this.
Blaine Gibson
Yep.
Gustavo Stroll
Okay. Thanks. Thanks, Doug. It's. It's good. Good to know.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Sumi, my son.
Blaine Gibson
Oh,
Gustavo Stroll
I believe next may have been Gunther.
Chris
Yeah, Christamas here. Gunther Croak folk fighter on board.
Blaine Gibson
You sound like a noir detective.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Me? Gunther here at night.
Chris
For me, what I would like to learn is the language of Draconic. You see, I. This is. There is some myth in my people that. That we once descended from a small water dragon. I do not believe it to be true, but I like the idea of it. It would be nice to be able to talk to dragons.
Barbara Dunkelman
Yes, I. I've heard people speak Draconic.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
It's.
Barbara Dunkelman
It's quite a beautiful language.
John Risinger
Beautiful language.
Chris
Yes, it is very pretty.
Blaine Gibson
Very exotic.
Chris
Yes.
John Risinger
So according to you, Gunther, the evolutionary tract of a dragon would be to go from there to a croak foe.
Chris
Well, that is not what me. I don't believe this. But that is what some people in my village believe.
Gustavo Stroll
We went from dinosaurs to chickens. So why would that be such a. Such a crazy idea?
Blaine Gibson
Yeah.
Gustavo Stroll
Have you ever practiced any Draconic sinks? Do you have any Draconic you could bust out for us, Gunther?
Chris
I only know. I only know one simple phrase. Which is. Thank you. I'll have another.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Oh, wow. That's beautiful.
Chris
Yes.
Blaine Gibson
Hurts the ears.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Well, I like it.
Gustavo Stroll
Well, as far as arrow answers go to.
Barbara Dunkelman
He wants another.
Blaine Gibson
Oh, hello. I'm Blaine Gibson and I play Tolv, the male Thaumatech barbarian Level eight. Yoohoo. Oh, we're talking about languages. You know, I know so many languages I can program them in. But the one language that I struggle to learn is the language of love. Oh yeah, I'm Looking for love in all of the wrong places. And, you know, maybe I can find that someday, you know? In the meantime, I will work on my Spanish over there. They called me do say.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Can we hear a little bit of that?
Blaine Gibson
Hola, mi amo doce me incontant Los Angeles.
Gustavo Stroll
What?
Blaine Gibson
What? What's osos picho? Is that.
Gustavo Stroll
Is that bugbear? Is that bugbear? I mean, you said, like, beak bear or spicy bear.
Blaine Gibson
Las ranas me gusa las ranas.
John Risinger
Gonna call Doug a spicy bear now.
Barbara Dunkelman
Oh, spicy bear.
Blaine Gibson
What is.
Barbara Dunkelman
What's yoohoo in Spanish?
Blaine Gibson
Oh, it's.
Gustavo Stroll
Hola. Hola.
Blaine Gibson
In me gusta los las drag queens. I don't know what their names are.
Gustavo Stroll
Hola. Me llamo dose. No, that's. That. That's impressive. I was. Oh, I was gonna say take an inspiration dive for your amazing translation of your name into another language.
Blaine Gibson
I already got one, but did you know it's.
Barbara Dunkelman
It's Juni in Japanese.
Gustavo Stroll
All right, Tov. Learning a lot. Learning a lot from everyone. But last up is Natty. Hello, everybody.
John Risinger
It is John Risinger here playing Natty Wonder who is a drow drag queen mother. And if I got to learn another language, I think I would just default to always. I've always wanted to understand under common, we get a lot of folk who come and sell their wares in my hometown, in our market, and they're these nice ladies who made the best wigs anywhere. And I couldn't understand. We had the hardest time making transactions work between us because they only spoke under common, and I don't know it. And so we just had to fumble through me getting the right wig that I wanted every time we sorted it. But I would love to be able to just not only be able to buy their wares with a lot more ease, but just compliment them on the beauty of these hairs.
Blaine Gibson
Now, Nadia, if they were selling their wares in undercommon, were they selling their underwears?
Barbara Dunkelman
You know, it's so funny about that. We don't record visuals for our show, but I was watching Blaine's face during John's answer, and I saw the smirk starting, and I was like, blaine has a joke queued up. It's coming here.
Blaine Gibson
Fresh off vacation. I'm full of the energy.
John Risinger
Yeah. The vin and vigor.
Barbara Dunkelman
I could see everyone's tells.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah, it's weird that drought don't get under common as a starting language. I had to verify that as you were talking, John.
Chris
Yes.
John Risinger
Because it is. It is Elvish in like nature. Yeah, but it Is not a. It's not a drought dialect.
Gustavo Stroll
It's. Yeah, I guess from what I can see, Jiragar get it. But not drow, even though it's a language supposedly written in elvish script.
John Risinger
Yeah.
Gustavo Stroll
This makes no sense. Well, that's what.
John Risinger
That's why they were there. You know, it made sense for them to be in the night market with us, but we just, you know, it's just kind of like, you know, just someone in the. In the next town over speaks a little different than you, and you just don't know exactly how they. They use their language.
Chris
Yeah.
John Risinger
It's coming from someone who's dating a Cajun. They got a whole world over there in Louisiana that's separate from the United States.
Barbara Dunkelman
Did you. Were you dating your. Your girlfriend during campaign one at all? Or did that start happening after? Because you were essentially like a Cajun character almost. Right? Like inspiration.
John Risinger
I know for a fact that, yeah, we were. We were just pre Covid is when we started. So, yeah, all the way. That's why mud is from the bayou.
Barbara Dunkelman
The bay bayou. Okay, got it.
John Risinger
Micah wanted to incorporate that part of John's life.
Gustavo Stroll
Stinky dragon lore.
John Risinger
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Barbara Dunkelman
I was like, if you did that before you were dating, it was meant to be.
John Risinger
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I have. I have. I have adopted my girlfriend's culture of eating just fried brown stuff all day long.
Gustavo Stroll
I know it's delicious, but that sounds gross.
John Risinger
That's. The Cajun cuisine is delicious and all brown. There's no other colors in there in their spectrum.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Healthy, just like America.
John Risinger
Yeah.
Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)
What would be a vile habit?
Chris
A vile habit is. Oh, I. Yes, it is quite clear. It is. When you.
Gustavo Stroll
It.
Chris
You dump your waste and trash into the water where people are. The children are swimming, and that is just a vile thing. You should keep the water clean.
Gustavo Stroll
As you all are thinking about the answers to these questions in your head, the scenery around you changes. What once was an empty room transforms and becomes a bustling night market. The floor, however, does remain blank and white. And in the night market, you see a giant dream drink vending machine that is smashing its way towards you, dumping trash into all the fresh water that lies around. And the rule of law for this arena is, thou shall be curious. You're surrounded by a moonlit forest of deciduous trees. Market stalls line a thoroughfare between tree trunks. But none of us how Natty remembers the outskirts of. Of her town. The trees are choked by black oil and slimy vines. And instead of technicolored leaves, goopy phlegm dribbles from the branches. The market stalls are stained with sewage and littered with spoiled atreus. Nailed to one of the choke trees is a plastic wrap that reads in aggressive, all caps, thou shall be curious. Bursting through the trees above the canopy is a towering rectangular apparatus of glass and metal. The machines door swinging mouth spits out metal cans that spew toxic gases, tacky tar, and one time, use plastics that ensnare chipmunks and bluebirds.
Barbara Dunkelman
It's Trubbish.
Gustavo Stroll
What is what? What?
John Risinger
What assistance does Trubbish lend to Apopia Land?
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
He could recycle your wastes and things for you.
John Risinger
Okay, I was wondering, because I know that they all do something.
Chris
Yeah, you look lost, little consumers. Perhaps you need a break and a beverage to slake your thirst.
Gustavo Stroll
It cracks open one of its cans, holds it high, and showers the forest and you in a slurry of sludge.
Chris
It is gross.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah, it's pretty gross. Everyone make a constitution saving throw.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Oh.
John Risinger
Ooh.
Barbara Dunkelman
Oh, my God. What did I roll?
Chris
N. I rolled a nat 20.
John Risinger
Ooh. 9.
Barbara Dunkelman
16.
Chris
That has 26.
Gustavo Stroll
All right, so it's a 10, 26, 16, and 9.
Blaine Gibson
I'm gonna use my inspiration.
Gustavo Stroll
Die. All right.
John Risinger
Heck it.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah.
John Risinger
He's that confident, it'll be worth it.
Blaine Gibson
16.
Gustavo Stroll
Oh, you got a good modifier on that. All right, so, okay, the only one who fails is Natty. As this slurry lands all around you. It just makes you all feel really sick, like you're rotting from the inside. All right, so based on that, the saving throw was 18. So everyone except for Gunther fails. So the three of you who failed, please take 13 points of damage, and you have the poisoned condition.
Barbara Dunkelman
Yikes.
Gustavo Stroll
Whoa.
John Risinger
Tove's got a virus.
Blaine Gibson
And what type of sodas are in this machine? Is it like retired drinks like Shasta and Surge?
Gustavo Stroll
Never trust a big button to smile.
Blaine Gibson
Fruitopia, Crystal, Pepsi.
Gustavo Stroll
Shasta. It's poison by Bilby of DeVoe.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Okay. Never trusted people Smile. That girl is poison.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah.
John Risinger
See?
Barbara Dunkelman
One of my favorites.
Gustavo Stroll
Barbara, take an inspiration. Die.
Barbara Dunkelman
I already have one.
Gustavo Stroll
You asked about the can. Was it you, Tolf? Yeah, Blaine, who had. I always thought it was Shasta. You said Shasta. That kind of blew my mind a little bit. Yeah, you take a look at the can, and it does not say Shasta. Instead, it reads yes and.
Barbara Dunkelman
Oh, is this an improv fight?
Gustavo Stroll
Orbit Gunther. Real foul. I want to circle back on something. Since you made the save, you take half damage, so you take six points of poison damage. Everyone go Ahead and roll. Initiative.
John Risinger
Okay, okay.
Blaine Gibson
22.
Chris
19.
Gustavo Stroll
10.
John Risinger
5.
Gustavo Stroll
All right, there you go, Gus.
Blaine Gibson
It was an order. Inspiration dies all around.
Gustavo Stroll
It's pretty good. And I got a 14, so. No, it was not in order. All right. This huge being is towering, menacingly over you and your friends. Tol, what do you think you want to do here?
Blaine Gibson
Let's talk, eh, about it. You know, you, You're a machine. I rip off my Bjorn mask. Me, I'm a machine. We got a lot in common, right? We don't have to fight. What's the dealio, huh? Yeah.
Chris
Why would rage with the machine?
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah.
Blaine Gibson
Oh, that's good. That's good.
Barbara Dunkelman
Nice.
Chris
Dang it.
John Risinger
Dang it.
Blaine Gibson
That's really good. I should have raged instead.
Gustavo Stroll
Shoot. But you're trying to. You're not trying to go against the machine here. That's.
Barbara Dunkelman
Yeah, rage against the machine.
John Risinger
Yeah, you're right.
Blaine Gibson
I've tried to rage with the machine.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You like pull out. Yeah. You pull out a chair from nowhere. Who set it backwards and sit on it. Put your arms on the top. All right, so you're trying to de. Escalate the situation here.
Blaine Gibson
Yeah. So one of my brothers and sisters are in there, huh? Big old angry machine, Big grumper machine.
Gustavo Stroll
Why don't you, I guess, make me a. Let's call it a persuasion check. Yeah, persuasion.
John Risinger
All right.
Blaine Gibson
Nine.
Gustavo Stroll
Okay. You try to de escalate and chat with the large metallic creature in front of you, but it seems to just tower there, unmoving and unmoved by your words. It replies.
Blaine Gibson
You need to open your minds to
Chris
the possibilities of pollution, my little spenders.
Barbara Dunkelman
Are we. Are we fighting capitalism? Like what's
Blaine Gibson
like a cap and planet villain or something?
Barbara Dunkelman
Consume.
Blaine Gibson
How about I. Okay, that's fine. How about I open your mind with my axe?
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Hammer.
Blaine Gibson
I don't know. I'm gonna hit it with my hammer.
Gustavo Stroll
It's.
Blaine Gibson
It's gotta give me glass face. Yeah, I'm gonna try to shatter that glass.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah, go for it.
Blaine Gibson
Okay, I'm gonna. It is one handed. Well, let's see if I actually make
John Risinger
the hit or not.
Gustavo Stroll
13. No, that does not hit.
Blaine Gibson
Okay.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Dang.
Blaine Gibson
That's all right. I'm swinging a miss. I'm gonna swing it back around because I have two actions. So we're gonna do that again. And that's a. Oh, how about this, Gus? A 13.
Gustavo Stroll
That hits. Just kidding. It does not. That's. That. That is a miss.
Barbara Dunkelman
That should be it though, because I feel like you weaken someone's Defenses. When you're trying to, like, open a pickle jar and you, like, can't do it, and then you hand it to someone else and they open it, you're like, I loosened it for you. That should be with, like, hitting something.
John Risinger
But he just hit air. He didn't weaken it in any way.
Gustavo Stroll
What I was going to say is that his hammer comes through and smashes right into the middle of the glass face of the machine. However, it turns out that it's plexiglass, so your hammer just bounces off. Ineffective curses. Yeah, the whole thing vibrates. And in your hands, the hammer vibrates a little bit and shakes.
Blaine Gibson
All right, well, that's my turn.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
That's embarrassing for you.
Blaine Gibson
I guess I could. I rage. Let's rage.
Gustavo Stroll
It's a bonus action.
John Risinger
You sounded like the little dude that pops out at Crash Bandicoot. The little.
Barbara Dunkelman
You might want to wait until your next turn because it would have to hit you, I think, for you to keep your rage.
Blaine Gibson
Okay, yeah, that's a good point.
Chris
You really did that in the wrong order, Blaine.
Blaine Gibson
The Council of Barbarians has been heard. I. Wait until.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Okay, so when you want to take your turn, usually you rage first, because then if you hit, you know, you'll get a little bit of an extra damage. Some benefits there.
Blaine Gibson
Gum? Gum, Anything to say?
Chris
That's true. That's true. Yeah. You want to do it that way? Unless you want to cast a spell, then don't rage. Do you cast spells?
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
I don't know if he has spells. I know I didn't have many spells.
Chris
It's very hard.
Blaine Gibson
Do you guys want to, like, tag in? You know, why not tag?
Chris
Let's play tag.
Blaine Gibson
Okay. All right, Gus, I'm going to tag in. Gum. Gum. For told.
Gustavo Stroll
No, no, no. All right, you two get out of here.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
This is in your place, just in your imagination.
Chris
You're insane.
Gustavo Stroll
You have the Council of Barbarians, I have The Council of DMs on my side here. And I have a point of order from dungeon master Ben Ernst. So rage ends early if you're knocked unconscious or if your turn ends and you haven't attacked a hostile creature since your last turn or taken damage since then. You can also end your rage on your turn as a bonus action. So I was of the same opinion as Barbara, that once you rage, you need to attack. But the way that that's written, you attacked this turn so your rage would stand is my interpretation of the rule as written in the book.
Barbara Dunkelman
You don't have to do it first and then Whatever happens after that.
Gustavo Stroll
Right. Because the way it's benefits for you
John Risinger
to do it first because you get the bonus damage.
Barbara Dunkelman
Got it.
Gustavo Stroll
Right. Yeah. So it is beneficial to do it first. But if you rage at the end of your turn and you attacked in that turn, the rage still would persist. So if you want to rage, you can tolt. And it would continue. It would not drop.
Blaine Gibson
Elga, Come, come. You lied to me.
John Risinger
Yeah.
Blaine Gibson
Rage.
Chris
You still made the wrong decision.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
We are not legally responsible for any decisions you make during your campaign.
Chris
All right?
Gustavo Stroll
They've been swallowed back into the vortex. Then we'll never see them again.
Blaine Gibson
What?
Barbara Dunkelman
Nope.
Gustavo Stroll
All right, that's it for Tolve. Which means next up, we've got Gunther.
Chris
All right, so this guy is shooting trash at us. And is there a bunch of trash on the ground right now?
Gustavo Stroll
There's, like, cans. Empty cans that have been spewing everywhere.
Chris
All right, can I pick some up and try and shove him into his coals?
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah, absolutely.
Chris
Sorry, wrong voice.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah, that was the wrong voice. I told you to leave.
Chris
You will not dirty this nice place.
Gustavo Stroll
All right. Yeah. So you gather up a couple, and I guess just try to make like a. Like a unarmed strike.
Chris
Yeah. Okay.
Gustavo Stroll
Yes. So it's a D20, plus your proficiency, plus dexterity.
Chris
Yeah. All right, here we go. Unarmed strike. Yeah.
Gustavo Stroll
I'll tell you what. Make me an intelligent saving throw.
Chris
Oh, okay. Intelligence saving throw. Not my strong suit.
Gustavo Stroll
Not bad.
Chris
All right, that's a 13.
Gustavo Stroll
Okay, you gather up all the cans and begin walking over to the creature to try to stuff them into the various receptacles. What would you call it, anyway? The various holes as you put it on the machine. And as you take your first step in that direction, you forget what you were doing.
Chris
What was I doing? Oh, I was drinking the soda.
Gustavo Stroll
Oh, that's what you start doing. You start drinking the soda.
Chris
Yeah. Oh, yes.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah.
Chris
It's delicious. Yeah.
Gustavo Stroll
You just. In a moment, occasionally confusion. You. You forget what you were doing and look at the cans in your hand and begin drinking it. You take a drink and then you immediately spit it out because it tastes gross. It's like. Oh, it's Surge. Oh, just kidding. I like Surge.
Blaine Gibson
Surge was amazing. All right.
Gustavo Stroll
I knew that was gonna make Blaine mad. That's why I picked it.
Chris
Oh, I was dying.
Gustavo Stroll
There you go.
Chris
Gross.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah. So, yeah, you. You got distracted there.
Chris
Do not drink the soda.
Gustavo Stroll
It is poisoned.
Chris
Is that my turn?
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah, that was your action. You can move, I guess. Or if you have any. Well, I guess you picked up cans. Yeah. If you want to move, you can move around.
Chris
All right, what about this?
Barbara Dunkelman
What about this?
Gustavo Stroll
What about that?
Chris
As a bonus action, you can expend one superiority die and make a ranged attack with a weapon that has the throne property. I'll just say my turn.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah. And I think we said, like, your bonus action would have been gathering up the cans and whatnot.
Blaine Gibson
Yeah, it's fine.
Gustavo Stroll
Oh, it's. It's that creature's turn.
Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)
Yay.
Gustavo Stroll
I get to play. Okay. It sees tolve in front of it. Gunther taking a sip out of the can and consuming. Natty and Doug have not gone yet. Okay. It opens up its vending machine door like the. Where you that where you grab your goodies out of and tries to bonk tove on the top of the head with it. Such a very.
Blaine Gibson
Machines not being nice to other machines.
John Risinger
Machine on machine violence.
Blaine Gibson
Yes. Yeah.
Barbara Dunkelman
Rage against the machine.
Gustavo Stroll
It bonks a 23.
Blaine Gibson
Oh, my God. Yes. That hits. All right, I just need to unequip my shield, because at this point, it's just gonna happen, you know? What are we doing here?
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
How much does it add to your ac? The shield?
Gustavo Stroll
One.
Blaine Gibson
Two.
Gustavo Stroll
One. It's plus two.
Chris
Yeah, just get rid of the shield. I'm the shield guy.
Blaine Gibson
It's true, you are, but my shield tells me when there's my brothers and sisters around.
John Risinger
You could just give it to Captain Grumbles. He's got one already. He could use two.
Blaine Gibson
Grumbles thoughts?
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
I mean, he could just carry the shields for us, you know?
Gustavo Stroll
All right, so it bonks you for 26 points of damage. Okay, well.
Blaine Gibson
Ah.
John Risinger
Ooh.
Blaine Gibson
13, because I'm raging.
Gustavo Stroll
Oh, there you go. Look, it worked.
Blaine Gibson
Do you hear that? Scum gum?
Barbara Dunkelman
Do you hear that silence on the other end?
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah, they're gone.
Blaine Gibson
They're taking lunch. Okay, I understand.
Gustavo Stroll
Then after it bonks, you tolve, you hear that loud, booming voice. Once again, give me your coin and
Chris
I'll give you contamination.
Blaine Gibson
Is that like a.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
That seems like a pretty bad trade.
Blaine Gibson
Is that a. Yeah. Is that a new soda? Contamination. Is it going for that extreme hardcore,
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
you know, like, prepare for total contamination. Contamination.
Blaine Gibson
It's got, like, taurine in it.
Gustavo Stroll
It's taurine and, like, aspartame. It's just terrible.
Blaine Gibson
Oh, red dye.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
40.
Gustavo Stroll
Oh, yeah.
Carvana Advertiser
Lately, I've been more intentional about what I wear day to day. Leaning into pieces that feel easy, comfortable, and still put together. It just makes getting dressed simpler. And quince is my go to. The fabrics feel elevated. The fits are clean and everything just works without needing to overthink it. Quince has all the wardrobe staples for spring. Think 100% European linen shorts and shirts from $34 lightweight, breathable and comfortable, but still put together and clean. 100% Pima cotton tees with a softness that just has to be felt. Their pants also hit that same balance of relaxed and comfortable but still polished enough to wear pretty much anywhere. Everything is priced 50 to 80% less than what you'd find at similar brands. Quint works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middleman so you're getting premium materials without the markup. My go to on pretty much any spring day is their European linen drawstring shorts and relaxed short sleeve shirt. Grab a pair of the Walker Polarized acetate sunglasses and I'm comfortable but still look put together. Ready for adventure. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to Quince.comDragon for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.comDragon for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.comDragon this episode of Tales from Stinky
Gustavo Stroll
Dragon is brought to you by Chime. Chime is changing the way people bank. They offer the most rewarding fee free banking built for you. It's not like traditional old banks that charge you overdraft and monthly fees. They have thousands of fee free ATMs. I mean, why pay to get your own money? It's built for you. Not the 1%. Chime members can benefit from up to $1,150 in annual rewards fee. Free direct deposits unlock the most rewarding way to bank at Chime, which is by the way rated five stars by USA Today for customer service. It's real humans 24 7. It's not just about switching banks. You're upgrading to America's number one choice for banking. With a Chime checking account, you get 5% cash back on Chime card in the category of your choice like gas or groceries, you get savings that grow faster with a 3.75% APY. That's nine times higher than the national average. Seriously, that's like such a good rate. Plus you get premium travel perks like airport lounge access, the 247 travel concierge included with your Chime card. You can even get up to $500 pay when you say with MyPay. They also have Spotme which lets you overdraft up to $200 fee free. I know I mentioned it quickly before, but that 3.75%, that's such a good rate. I think plenty of people could benefit from something like this. Especially when you're getting started trying to build credit. I think this, in my opinion go a long way for you. Chime is not just smarter banking, it is the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who are already banking fee free today. Head to chime.comdragon that's chime.com/dragon. Only takes a few minutes to sign up.
Sponsor Voice
Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services for MyPay and ChimeCard provided by Chime's bank partners. Optional products and services may have fees or charges, stated annual percentage yield and cash back for Chime prime only. No minimum balance required. Checking account ranking based on the J.D. power survey published October 20, 2025. For more information on APY rates, my pay spot me and travel perks, go to chime.com disclosures hey it's me, Blaine.
Blaine Gibson
And if you're anything like me, you like efficiency. All right, I don't want to hunt down my wallet Whenever I'm making an online purchase. I want to press like three buttons max before I second guess my spending habits, okay? That's why I laugh boisterously whenever I see Shopify's Purple Pay button whenever I'm checking out online. I literally go tee hee hee when I see Shopify's purple Pay button. I love it so much because I know that they got my payment info ready to go and I don't have to go searching for my wallet. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and a whopping 10% of all E commerce in the US from household names like Cotopaxi, Gymshark and Mattel to businesses just getting started. If you're starting a business online, you want an online store. Shopify is here to help. They've got a design store studio with hundreds of ready to use templates so you can have a beautiful online store that matches your brand style even better. Shopify is your commerce expert with world class expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and beyond. Isn't that great? And what if you get stuck? You're a small business owner. You're going to get overwhelmed. Well, Shopify is always around to share advice with their award winning 24. 7 customer support. So see less carts go abandoned and more sales go with Shopify and their Shop Pay button. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.comdragon. go to shopify.comdragon. once again, that's shopify.comdragon.
Gustavo Stroll
All right, that's it for the machine for now. So, Doug, you're up.
Barbara Dunkelman
Okay. I have a theory. So that place that we had to, like, give up something we created, and I gave over my invention of the thing that's supposed to detect wildlife. It seems like this thing is the antithesis of that because it's polluting and it's spewing out garbage and it's trapping animals. Would I.
John Risinger
Is it trapping animals?
Barbara Dunkelman
It's trying to ensnare chipmunks and bluebirds.
Narrator
Oh.
John Risinger
With its trash.
Blaine Gibson
Oh, my.
Barbara Dunkelman
So am I on any sort of right track in thinking that this might be related, or is it just happenstance?
Gustavo Stroll
Make me a. Why don't we call it just make me an intelligence check, Doug?
Barbara Dunkelman
Well, that's an A teen.
Gustavo Stroll
You know, Doug stands there and, you know, ponders this hypothesis and runs through some inquiries in his mind, and he comes to the conclusion that it is probably not connected, that this probably has a more direct connection to each of your individual answers to the question you were posed when you first came into the room.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Okay, well, for the sake of being
Barbara Dunkelman
curious, could Doug maybe try to circle this thing and see what it looks like from all angles just to kind of see what this thing is? And maybe if he could detect if it's, I don't know, an illusion.
Blaine Gibson
Got a cord?
Barbara Dunkelman
Yeah, cord.
Chris
A cord.
Blaine Gibson
Power cord. Off button.
Gustavo Stroll
Why don't you make me a. I'm sorry, an investigation check. But I want you to have it with advantage because you're being curious.
John Risinger
Okay, quick tove. Where's your off button? Maybe it has the same one.
Blaine Gibson
Oh, it's right. You tried again.
John Risinger
Almost got you that time.
Blaine Gibson
Oh, you're gonna kill me someday.
Barbara Dunkelman
22 for investigation.
Gustavo Stroll
You know, you look around, and there is no power cord. However, you do see that the cans, as Tolv already discovered, all have yes and written on them. And you see that at the top of the vending machine? There's a label on it as well.
Barbara Dunkelman
Could I read it?
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah. The label on the vending machine reads improv. M, P, R, O, V. Improv. Improv. Improv.
Barbara Dunkelman
Tilt my hat then. Okay, so could I get a can somehow?
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah, absolutely. There's. They're everywhere. I mean, they're just all on the ground.
Barbara Dunkelman
Okay, let me pick up a can.
Gustavo Stroll
Okay, you hold one. It's. Yeah, it's nice.
Barbara Dunkelman
What did it say?
Gustavo Stroll
It says yes and.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Ugh, I'm super parched right now let me just take a delicious sip of this. Yes.
Gustavo Stroll
And careful.
Chris
Diet.
Blaine Gibson
Oh, that's a great sound.
Gustavo Stroll
All right, so you. You begin trying to drink the. Yes. And. And as soon as it hits your tongue, it just feels, you know, like the most foul sludge that is flavored with artificial sweetener. Why would they put that in there? It doesn't make any sense.
John Risinger
Listen, not everybody hates diet beverages in this group right now, okay? So I don't need all this besmirging of my preferred drink.
Chris
It is disgusting.
Gustavo Stroll
Yuck. What's wrong with you?
Barbara Dunkelman
Wow me.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
On my way to my office job, I happen to pick up a can of this, and, boy, is it delicious.
Barbara Dunkelman
That's me. That's Doug doing improv, by the way.
John Risinger
Quick, Doug, act like you're going up your office elevator.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Here I go. 28th floor.
Gustavo Stroll
Make me a performance check, Doug.
John Risinger
Yay. Natty's applauding to help.
Barbara Dunkelman
How about a zero on that?
Blaine Gibson
Oh, no.
John Risinger
I'm hold a critical failure.
Barbara Dunkelman
I'm gonna use my inspiration, though.
John Risinger
That's a good use of an inspo.
Barbara Dunkelman
Not much better. 9.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah, you do that. And out from the ground, an elevator appears. And with a ding, the doors open.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Guys, I figured it out.
Barbara Dunkelman
Oh, wow.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Elevator's here. But, you know, it'd be really cool to all of a sudden find a giant axe that could destroy a building in one swing right here.
Gustavo Stroll
Then with a ding, the elevator doors close, and then it continues rising and disappears into the distance.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Okay, well, I guess I could just do one at a time.
Barbara Dunkelman
I don't know how far I could keep going on this since I probably have taken an action at this point.
Gustavo Stroll
Let's see. You drink, you move. It's a lot. But if you want to take an action, you probably could because you didn't really attack or do anything.
Barbara Dunkelman
Could I take another drink?
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
I have a theory.
Gustavo Stroll
All right. Yeah. Yeah. Do you, like, hold it, or you mean you, like when you say you take a drink or drink like a
Barbara Dunkelman
drink, it drink another soda.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah. You somehow stomach it. That disgusting diet beverage and. Yeah.
Barbara Dunkelman
Okay, and now could I say, oh, wow.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
What is this giant power cable doing over here attached to this giant building that powers it from moving?
John Risinger
Bending machine. Vending machine.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Vending machine.
Gustavo Stroll
Why don't you make me?
Barbara Dunkelman
I don't know why I keep thinking it's building.
John Risinger
You kept saying building.
Barbara Dunkelman
I'm just imagining it being really big. And so, like, a skyscraper style.
Gustavo Stroll
It's pretty big. Why don't you make me a constitution saving throw 22 okay, you take the drink and, you know, you. You try to get these words out, but just the disgustingness of the drink overcomes you. And you take some. Some poison damage.
Sponsor Voice
Takes with a.22.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah. You're able to contain it, but you still do take a little bit of poison damage. You take six points.
Barbara Dunkelman
Gosh dang it.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Okay.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah. It's just disgusting. You can't bear it.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Okay.
Barbara Dunkelman
And then nothing happens.
Chris
And you're a bugbear.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah. And then nothing happened. Oh, nice.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
It's true. I can't bugbear it.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah. But nothing seems to happen. Barbara slash Doug.
Barbara Dunkelman
Okay, I had a theory that, you know, drinking these cans and we improv something. It could. It comes to fruition, but maybe not.
Blaine Gibson
Yeah, I was going to ask it if it can make me, like, spells or, like, healing potions instead of. Yes, and soda. Yes and soda. Available at store.seokydragon.pod.com all right, is that
Gustavo Stroll
it for you, Doug? You did a couple things there, Natty.
John Risinger
Okay, Natty turns to Gigi and starts, like, huh? And starts pantomiming, like throwing a ball between her and Gigi, like, passing the ball back and forth, like, playing catch. Like a round ball that could fit in both hands. And then as Gigi throws the ball back to Natty, Natty then throws the ball to the vending machine.
Barbara Dunkelman
Zip, zap, Zop.
John Risinger
Okay, and what's the vending machine do?
Gustavo Stroll
It seemingly tries to pantomime catching the ball as well.
John Risinger
Yeah. And then Nettie goes, oh, no, it wasn't a ball. It was a bomb.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah, with that, you know, the. The top of the vending machine looks down into its own arms and a bomb explodes. And it has, like, that cartoon effect where the top of the vending machine's all black and blown backwards now. Yeah. With a loud, like, cartoonish puff of smoke and flash of light. And it takes a little bit of damage.
Blaine Gibson
Okay, okay, okay.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
See? See, See, See?
Blaine Gibson
Here we go.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Doug, I guess you didn't have to
Barbara Dunkelman
drink the soda, but, you know.
Blaine Gibson
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. You know, we're learning.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
I would not recommend.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah, Good. Good thing in there, Natty. Anything else you want to do?
John Risinger
And then Natty just goes and starts, like, browsing the night market stands just because they're there. And she's Mrs. Shopping.
Gustavo Stroll
Okay.
John Risinger
So she's just kind of seeing who's got some good tchotchkes to maybe. Maybe get something, you know, she misses home.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah, it's. It's kind of like home, but kind of not at the Same time. It's weird.
John Risinger
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but she's. I mean, shopping. Chopping.
Blaine Gibson
Yeah, you did mention it was covered in sewage. I will say that much.
Gustavo Stroll
Maybe you get a discount.
John Risinger
Yeah, listen, Natty's, you know, she's done some thrift store, you know, diving, and you have to get through some garbage where you find your gold. Okay, you're right.
Gustavo Stroll
That is words to live by, Natty.
John Risinger
Yeah. And so she starts. She finds a. She finds, like, a nice new, like, blouse and holds it up to Cap' n Grumbles and sees if it's Captain Grumbles size because he's. He hasn't had anything new to wear since his death in life.
Chris
Great.
Gustavo Stroll
That. I presume that is it for Natty, which would take a spectacle to the top. To. To.
John Risinger
Okay.
Gustavo Stroll
Improv.
Narrator
Improv.
Gustavo Stroll
What can you. What do you.
Blaine Gibson
What do you got? What do you got?
John Risinger
Okay, what you want to do to. Is you want to overthink it.
Gustavo Stroll
Zip, zap, Zop.
Barbara Dunkelman
No.
Chris
Zip, zap, Zop. Zip, zap.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Zip, zap, zap.
John Risinger
Zip, zap, zap.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Let your mind be free.
Blaine Gibson
Okay, okay, okay. I go point at myself and I go, zip. I act like I'm, like, being electrocuted. And then I look at Gunther and I'm like, play along. And I say, zap.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Oh.
Blaine Gibson
Oh, he's electrocuted. And then I, like, Kamehameha, point at the vending machine and say, zaaa.
Gustavo Stroll
As you do that, it looks down and realizes it's standing in a puddle of sewage. And it holds up a little sign that says yikes. And oh yeah, huge bolts of electricity surround it all, going up and down throughout the entirety of the machine. Then it's left smoldering with a little bit of smoke coming off the top.
John Risinger
Perfect. And how much damage did Gunther take from that attack?
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah, Gunther, did you. How much did you commit to this?
Chris
I commited 100%.
Gustavo Stroll
Gunther takes no damage because he's. He's playing.
Blaine Gibson
That might be my turn. I mean, I have two attacks, but I don't know if, like, these are attacks or just kind of turns. You know what I mean?
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah. This is not really like, I think the. The spirit of the two attacks is like a weapon attack. Sure.
John Risinger
Got it.
Blaine Gibson
Yeah, I'm good.
John Risinger
All right.
Gustavo Stroll
That was. That was good. To Gunther, what do you have for us?
Chris
Oh, yes. I here am in charge of the vending machine. I. Oh, look, it's not working. Out of order. And put a sign. I like, put a sign on it. It's like the Imaginary sign that says out of order. Not functioning.
Blaine Gibson
Spelled completely wrong.
John Risinger
Yeah.
Gustavo Stroll
In draconic.
Barbara Dunkelman
Out of orders.
Gustavo Stroll
Out of order. All right, let's see if you can make a. Well, no, let's just end this. You go out and put the sign on the machine and yeah, I guess, like, the light inside of the machine turns off and it seems to, like, settle down and power down.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Down.
Chris
Oh, you sleepy? Okay. And I guess. Is that it? I'll do that. That is it.
Gustavo Stroll
Okay. Metagame wise, just so you're clued and you don't feel like it. It. It's. It's pointless. I'm going to let that do damage to it, but it's going to.
Chris
Okay.
Gustavo Stroll
It's going to continue.
John Risinger
Necrotic damage.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah, I like when I start doing something in a second. I don't want you to think like, oh, well, my thing did nothing.
Chris
Okay.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah, it settles down and seems to be in a power off state. And then, you know, after about six seconds of that, it, like, stands back up and, you know, shakes and the sign goes flying off. Aw.
Chris
I fixed it.
Gustavo Stroll
As it does that, you know, it powers up and it seems like it may be almost, you know, you say you fixed it, but it's almost like malfunctioning a bit and it begins shuddering. And when it starts shuddering, a mixture of both cans and coins begin flying out of it.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Collect the coins.
Blaine Gibson
It's pooping.
Chris
It's vomiting.
Gustavo Stroll
That too. All right. Yeah. As the cans begin flying around everywhere, everyone make a. Another constitution saving throw.
Chris
Okay.
Barbara Dunkelman
24, 23.
John Risinger
12.
Blaine Gibson
12. Which is like a nat 20 because it's my name, so, you know, I
Barbara Dunkelman
feel like we should add that rule into this campaign.
Blaine Gibson
I'm pretty sure that's a rule now.
Gustavo Stroll
Yes.
Blaine Gibson
And zip.
Chris
Zip.
Blaine Gibson
Zomba. Boom.
John Risinger
Nine.
Gustavo Stroll
Nine. Okay, so once. Or I should say Natty and Toll have the poisoned condition. I'm not sure if you all had it.
John Risinger
I already had it.
Gustavo Stroll
What is it?
John Risinger
What should that have done on my turn?
Gustavo Stroll
You have double poison disadvantage on attack
Barbara Dunkelman
rolls and ability checks.
Blaine Gibson
Yeah.
Gustavo Stroll
Thank you, Barbara. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. So. But you didn't really do an attack or an ability, so it's fine. But yeah, Natty and Tolv are poisoned and take 13 points of poison damage. And Doug and Gunther, you made the save, so you're not poisoned, but you do take six points of poison damage.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Gosh, it's just eating away at my health.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah. So the. The machine powers back up, you know, spews all these coins and pans out and I'm gonna roll a D4 to see who it does this to.
John Risinger
Barbara.
Gustavo Stroll
One John to Chris. Three tollfor three. Chris or Gunther? Yeah, you put the out of order sign on it so this makes sense. Above you, an anvil appears and falls out of the sky right where you are standing.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Where's the coyote?
Gustavo Stroll
Make me a dexterity saving throw.
Chris
Okay, Dexterity saving throw. Here I go. 12.
Gustavo Stroll
Almost had it. Yeah. The anvil falls and hits you directly on the head. Oh, geez. Call it 13 points of psychic damage. And after it bounces off of your head, the anvil grows forward legs, a tail, and a pair of horns.
John Risinger
Oh.
Gustavo Stroll
It bellows a snorty, paws its leg like a raging bull.
Chris
Oh, let's fight.
Gustavo Stroll
It charges straight for you.
Chris
I. I'm green, not red. I'm green.
Gustavo Stroll
Let's see if it hits. Oh, that hits. I'm pretty sure that's gonna be a miss. That hits. What? AC 13.
Chris
That misses?
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah, it, like, very quickly. Like, it surprises you, but you manage to dodge out of the way, and it does not hit.
Chris
I conjure a red cape, bait the anvil, then leap out of the way at the last second.
Gustavo Stroll
Doug, you are up.
Barbara Dunkelman
Gosh.
Chris
Okay,
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
you know what? See, people do this before. I'm gonna try to light this guy on fire, because I hear that could work. I'm curious which guy.
John Risinger
Which guy?
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
The. The vending machine.
John Risinger
Oh, the vending machine.
Gustavo Stroll
Okay.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
I. I'm curious to see what fire does to this vending machine, Gus.
Gustavo Stroll
Okay.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
So curious.
Gustavo Stroll
That's. That. That's. That's what you have to do. Yeah. That is one of the rules. How are you gonna do that?
Barbara Dunkelman
Just use my firebolt.
Gustavo Stroll
Okay.
Barbara Dunkelman
And that's a 25 to hit.
Gustavo Stroll
I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure that hits. Yeah, that hits.
Barbara Dunkelman
And that will do 11 points of fire damage.
Gustavo Stroll
Ooh, that's pretty good. Yeah, the. The machine begins smoldering and burning, and little bits start melting and little pieces of plastic start falling off.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Okay, that's pretty good. Now, fire resistant. Excellent. That's my turn.
Gustavo Stroll
Okay. Yeah.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Keep it in simple.
Gustavo Stroll
That's good. Yeah. You know what? Simple does just as much damage. Do you have two attacks?
Barbara Dunkelman
I do have two attacks. I always forget that.
Gustavo Stroll
Thank you, Micah.
Barbara Dunkelman
Wow.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
You know, that was really good. I'm gonna do it again. This time, 20 to hit.
Gustavo Stroll
Oh, yeah, that hits.
Barbara Dunkelman
Cool. And that will do 10 points of fire damage.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah. Even more melting and destruction on improv. Yeah, it's, you know, seen better days for sure.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
How do you feel now? Big guy, I forgot that I can talk.
Chris
Consumption is eternal.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Okay, that's weird.
Blaine Gibson
It's not actually talking. It's just the little ticker LED screen on his. Above the coin slot.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Pepsi half off.
John Risinger
Like a spell and speak.
Blaine Gibson
Yeah, eternal.
Barbara Dunkelman
That was good.
Gustavo Stroll
That was really good to have.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
You're really good at doing like a robotic voice.
Blaine Gibson
Tomorigato.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Where did you learn that skill?
Gustavo Stroll
You know, around. All right, that's it for Doug. Which means it is.
John Risinger
Natty, how far was there any distance between the anvil and the vending machine?
Gustavo Stroll
It's all really close to each other because Gunther had gone up and put the sign. Okay. And the anvil would have fallen on it. So they're all like within 5ft of each other. Okay.
John Risinger
Nettie, I'm worried about taking a step forward because Gunther had a weird reaction when he moved forward, but Tol did it when he moved forward to attack with the hammer.
Gustavo Stroll
Am I remembering that all correctly?
Chris
Well, I moved forward to pick up the trash and then had to make an intellect saving throw.
John Risinger
Yeah.
Chris
Before I could throw it or something. It was kind of weird.
Gustavo Stroll
It's almost like. Yeah, his. His mind got muddled.
John Risinger
Okay.
Chris
But that dealt with the trash. I don't know if the trash had something to do with it.
John Risinger
Okay, then I need to do. Do something to do something brilliant. Yeah. Because Gunther and Tove are also up against the anvil and the vending machine. Right. In like melee range.
Gustavo Stroll
Correct. But the anvil has. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The anvil has only attacked Gunther, but that's only because it's gone once.
John Risinger
Okay, Natty's. Natty's got a plan. Natty, Mime's putting on like a big helmet on Natty's head and she kind of. Mime's putting on like her coveralls and puts them up and she starts pantomime walking to her made up job. And then she gets in this piece of machinery and starts pulling levers and she starts moving her fake giant garbage. What do you call the place where all the garbage goes? The dump. Like those, Those, those magnetic cranes. And starts moving it over to where the. Sorry.
Narrator
Tolve.
John Risinger
Moves it over to where the machines are and turns it on at full blast to suck them up into the sky to her giant magnet.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Take that, Gus.
John Risinger
What happens, Gus?
Gustavo Stroll
Well, no, it's like the first question is Tolv magnetic?
Blaine Gibson
I think so. And to add to the Looney Tunes nature of it, I feel like he would be ripped out with such force, he would leave his Bjorn skin on the ground. And in the form of standing tolve and then he would go and then fall to the ground.
Barbara Dunkelman
This is all very Looney Tunes acme. I love it.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah, I love it. All right, so, yeah. Tolls, the anvil and improv are all ripped up from the ground into the magnet.
John Risinger
And then Natty pushes another button that changes the polarity of the magnet so. So that thaumatech is not grabbed anymore. Oh. And then proceeds to swing the crane around with the anvil and the vending machine attached.
Blaine Gibson
And while all this stuff is happening, that dun dun, dun, dun,
Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)
dun, dun,
Blaine Gibson
dun, dun, dun dun.
Gustavo Stroll
That's such a great tune.
John Risinger
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Gustavo Stroll
So first of all, we'll do a dexterity save for Tol just to make sure he hits the ground safely.
Blaine Gibson
Perfect. I have advantage on deck saving throws. So that's a 15 and a 6. 15.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah. You're able to break the fall. You roll into it like a well practiced parkour expert. And you don't take any damage from the fall. Cool. However, you look up and you see that the anvil and improv are spinning around faster and faster.
John Risinger
And Natty then at like, high velocity, pushes the button to turn off the magnet.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah. Then the magnet is demagnetized and improv and the anvil go flying into the distance.
John Risinger
And Natty fake punches out for the day, takes her helmet off.
Blaine Gibson
Punch card.
Barbara Dunkelman
I like a good glass of wine at the end of the day, but I never really knew what to buy. I'd grab something and just hope for the best. But then I found First Leaf. And honestly, it just makes the whole thing easy. They match wines to your taste and send them right to your door. First Leaf delivers premium wines straight to my door every month. I answered a quick quiz about my preferences, and now they send personalized selections I'm guaranteed to love. No more guesswork, no more settling. And here's what really makes it click. Every box comes with easy to follow tasting notes and pairing suggestions right in the box. So whether I'm making a pasta on a Tuesday or putting together a cheese board for my friends, I always know exactly what to pour. It's like having a cheat sheet that actually makes me look like I know what I'm doing. I also control my delivery schedule completely. If I need wine by Friday, I could adjust the timing. Going on vacation, I skip a shipment. It fits my life perfectly. And if a bottle doesn't hit the mark, First Leaf has a 100% satisfaction guarantee they'll make it right. You definitely don't get that buying wine at the store, that's for sure. I love that I always have a great bottle ready, whether I'm relaxing at home or pairing something with dinner and first Leaf just makes it easy. Stop settling for wines that don't quite hit the mark. Head to try firstleaf.com stinky to sign up and you'll get 50% off your first box plus free shipping for an entire year. That's T R Y F I R-S-T L E A F.com stinky try first
Sponsor Voice
all
Barbara Dunkelman
stinky
Sponsor Voice
ready to soundtrack your summer with Red Bull Summer All Day Play? You choose a playlist that fits your summer vibe the best. Are you a festival fanatic, a deep end dj, a road dog, or a trail mixer? Just add a song to your chosen playlist and put your summer on track. Red Bull Summer All Day Play Red Bull gives you wings. Visit redbull.com bright summer ahead to learn more. See you this summer. Chronic migraine 15 or more headache days a month, each lasting four hours or more, can make me feel like a
Barbara Dunkelman
spectator in my own life.
Sponsor Voice
Botox Onobotulinum Toxin A prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraine. It's not for those with 14 or fewer headache days a month. It's the number one prescribed branded chronic migraine preventive treatment.
L
Prescription Botox is injected by your doctor. Effects of Botox may spread hours to weeks after injection, causing serious symptoms. Alert your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems or muscle weakness can be signs of a life threatening condition. Patients with these conditions before injection are at highest risk. Side effects may include allergic reactions, neck and injection site pain, fatigue and headache. Allergic reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms and dizziness. Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection. Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions including als, Lou Gehrig's disease, Myos Thenia Gravis or Lambert Eaton Syndrome and medications including Botulinum toxins as these may increase the risk of serious side effects.
Gustavo Stroll
Why wait?
Barbara Dunkelman
Ask your doctor. Visit botoxchronicmigraine.com or call 1-844botox to learn more.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah, they go flying into the distance and suddenly another elevator rises from the ground with a ding lat out steps improv with stars circling above where its head would be. It grabs the stars and tries to bonk you with them.
John Risinger
Well, Natty didn't take her helmet off yet, so
Gustavo Stroll
my roll for Bonk is 23.
John Risinger
That's. Yeah, that hits. Yeah, yeah, I saw you roll a 13. And I knew you had a modifier, so I was like, you've got this. You got this, my dude.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah. So you get bonked for 26 points of bludgeon damage.
John Risinger
Yikes.
Gustavo Stroll
Exactly. That's the spirit.
Barbara Dunkelman
That's quite the bonk.
John Risinger
Natty is low.
Chris
That's bonkers.
Gustavo Stroll
Hey.
John Risinger
Natty has taken a lot of poison
Gustavo Stroll
damage, but that was Natty's turn. So 12.
Blaine Gibson
All right, bear with me here. This is. This is a lengthy one, but I think it's gonna be fun. Is there a ceiling, or are we in an outdoor space?
Gustavo Stroll
It's like an outdoor space.
John Risinger
Liminal, dark space.
Blaine Gibson
Is there. Are there any roofed things? You know, you mentioned before that they have, like, vending areas and stuff like that. Do any of them have, like, awnings of any sort?
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah, there's little awnings and, you know, little, like, cloth roofs on these stalls. Okay. And there are trees as well.
Blaine Gibson
So I try to get the attention of improv and the anvil. And I pull out, but the anvil's gone.
Gustavo Stroll
The anvil did fly away. Oh. So now it's just improv friendly.
Blaine Gibson
So I get the attention of improv and then I.
Gustavo Stroll
How?
Blaine Gibson
I tap him. Ding, ding, ding, ding.
Gustavo Stroll
Okay.
Blaine Gibson
And I pull out a piece of black chalk, and then I go under one of the awnings of the stalls, and I draw a big black circle on the ground, and then I draw a big black circle on the awning. And then I put the marker away, I walk over to the circle, and I start jumping on it, and nothing happens. And then I. I scratch my head, and then I welcome improv to come take a look at this.
John Risinger
Jesus.
Gustavo Stroll
Uh huh huh. Yeah. Do they come? Improv wanders over and, like, leans down and looks. Okay.
Blaine Gibson
And then I push them into. It is now a hole. The. The one on the ground speaking with portals. So then they're just going, like, between the two circles. They're flying.
Chris
Yeah.
Blaine Gibson
Of course, then in classic Looney Tunes nature, I pull one of the holes and put it on a wall of the stall, forcing them to just shoot out with all that velocity that they've gotten.
Gustavo Stroll
Sure.
John Risinger
Oh, no, Tov, you place that other hole in a direction that's facing towards Gunther.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah. Improv goes through, accelerating through the holes, and then shoots out and hits a nearby tree. And. Yeah. Sparks seem to fly everywhere.
John Risinger
And.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah. Very, very George of the Jungle coded.
John Risinger
Yeah, it is.
Blaine Gibson
Their limbs are, like, stretched across this tree.
Gustavo Stroll
Right. Just the body is blocked by the tree, and the arms and legs on either side of it.
Blaine Gibson
Now every visual gag from a Looney Tunes cartoon is hitting me, and I'm just like, okay, next turn. Next turn.
Gustavo Stroll
I want to ruin it. Yeah. The improv seems rather beaten and not moving so well at this point. Gunther.
Chris
Yes. Right this way, children. The snacks are over here. Come along. All of the. All children. And then.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Yeah, don't make them drink that soda.
Blaine Gibson
It's a bunch of little giggies, though.
Chris
Oh, yeah. And then like, gestures and. And there's like, snack machine. Go get all the snacks and be rough.
Gustavo Stroll
And be rough. Yeah, you. You do that. And seemingly out of nowhere, a. Like a field trip, like a class of. A couple of kindergartners appear and begin running and mobbing improv, all banging on it, trying to get snacks and drinks.
Chris
Oh, look, giant baby.
Gustavo Stroll
Oh, giant baby. Yeah. And they begin.
Barbara Dunkelman
I love this scene from Weapons.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah, exactly what I was thinking. They begin beating at it. And after several seconds of that, improv disappears. And once improv disappears, the children disappear too. And all the surroundings, the stalls and the marketplace you were in, disappears as well. The ground turns into a glossy reflective floor, almost like glass. Yellow mist softens into small puffs of clouds slowly circling you. Cloudy skies directly above sunder, revealing constellations of shifting stars. Doug. In the glass floor, you recognize a reflection not of yourself, but a familiar face that is half metal mask and half obscured with a void of stars. His body made of clouds. The veiled eye looks up at you.
Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)
I know your face, but I'm sorry, I don't recall your name. My memory comes and goes. The further I am from familiarity, the more difficult it becomes. Why are you here again? Are you one of my patrons? Here to present one of your creations?
Barbara Dunkelman
The further he is from his.
Gustavo Stroll
From Familiarity.
Barbara Dunkelman
Familiarity. The further he is from like. Or the worse his memory gets, the
Gustavo Stroll
more difficult it becomes.
Chris
Familiarity?
Barbara Dunkelman
Well, he was probably moved for his safety or if he. Okay.
Chris
Or because they put them in the opposite places of where they're supposed to be.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Maybe. Yes, devildai, I am one of your patrons. But where are you right now? Do you know?
Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)
It's not familiar to me. It's someplace new.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Can you describe it at all?
Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)
It's difficult to ascertain. But perhaps paying some homage can further clarify my vision.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Okay, well, I. I did create something, but it's not with me anymore.
Barbara Dunkelman
Cuz I didn't. I give it to you.
Gustavo Stroll
Just presented it. But then you got it back. It's just like you. You showed it it was, and then. Yeah, you took it Back my misunderstanding. It. It. Yeah, it. It. You. You. You think that it disappeared, or you think you had given it up, but then, you know, as you're. As you're talking about it and thinking about it, it's just. It's just in your hand.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Okay. Yes, I have created something. It's one of my newest inventions that I'm really proud of. I'm. I'm holding it now. I don't know if you could sense it, but it's here with me.
Chris
Oh.
Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)
Why don't you tell me what it does?
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Oh, you got it. Let me remember. Exact phrase.
John Risinger
I think it makes Julian Fries.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Yeah. So it's called the echo Pulse Locator. It emits a soft sound and pulses kind of like a bat echolocation to detect hidden animals without causing them to panic or anything. And it also draws them into the device's location. So it's done in a really safe and gentle manner.
Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)
Oh, that's amazing. That's wonderful. What a fantastic invention. And you came up with this all on your own?
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
I did, yeah. I come up with all my inventions on my own, actually. Just typically work alone, you know, These guys here with me are my friends, and they're my, you know, party members. But the inventions are just. Doug.
Chris
Yeah, we like to party.
Blaine Gibson
Yeah. Also, I'm a robot, but I'm not his invention. But, like, I don't know, you might like this. Just show him, like, the robot. I just do the robot dance.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
I don't know if you could hear or see my fellow party members right now, but whatever they're saying, we just went through, like, a pretty crazy battle, so they might be a little bit tired and, you know, just not thinking straight. So this is a, you know, no reflection on Doug.
Chris
Gunther dances, too.
Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)
I sense perhaps you have many ideas. Are there any others you're working on as well, Doug?
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Well, Doug is always thinking of ideas, but, you know, sometimes it's I have a need or someone I care about has a need, and I fix things up for them or I create something for them. You know, like I. I fixed up To's axe the other day, and he's been using that bad boy pretty well.
John Risinger
And.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah, as you say that a cloud appears of that ax, that axe.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Yeah.
Gustavo Stroll
Then, as you know, as you're looking at it, you know, it's the axe, it's Tove's axe that you repaired, and it begins morphing. You know how clouds, like, shift and move and they're never quite the same, like, little bits of it Fly away from the main part. Other parts come in and add onto the cloud body itself, and it begins to look like a different axe, Almost like some kind of mechanized hand axe.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Oh, I know that one. I think that's the axe I created for my brother.
Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)
I see so many inventions. Many, many things created by your hand.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Well, that. That one. That one. I. I have a. I'm not really proud of that one.
Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)
Well, the important thing is that every invention leads to innovation.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
That's a really wise thing to say to no surprise, of course. The veiled eye. You know, you know a lot. A whole lot.
Gustavo Stroll
The body of clouds that kind of make up the veiled eye begin swirling and reveal a void of stars. They form into a constellation before your eyes, but not shapes. Instead, it forms words.
Barbara Dunkelman
Could I. Am I able to read it? Is it in a language that I understand?
John Risinger
Yeah, actually, now you can read it right now. It says the stars at night are
Barbara Dunkelman
big and bright right deep in the heart of Texas.
Gustavo Stroll
That was one of my favorite scenes in that. Pee Wee's Big Adventure, you know.
Blaine Gibson
Oh, really?
Chris
Quick.
John Risinger
They have.
Barbara Dunkelman
All of our international fans have no idea what we're talking about.
Blaine Gibson
Dewey's bike is on display at the Alamo. Really?
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah. They make a basement for it.
John Risinger
They have a little area.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah. Doug, you absolutely can read the. The words that the constellation makes.
Barbara Dunkelman
And is everyone else seeing this, too, or is it just Doug?
Gustavo Stroll
Just you see it, Doug?
Barbara Dunkelman
Just me. Okay.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah.
John Risinger
Natty's changing Giggy's diaper, and that takes her whole focus.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah. Everyone else sees the. The room, you know, the. The change in the floor, everything else disappearing. But only you see the veiled eye.
Barbara Dunkelman
Okay.
Gustavo Stroll
And only you see the words that the constellation forms.
Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)
Winter, spring, summer, fall. My budding bud likes them all. Three hands up, three hands down. Wears royal robes without a crown. Sometimes bearded. Bathes in light. Armed with swords that never fight. Shares a name with what you see, like coloring fingerprints. Less than three.
Gustavo Stroll
And this is chat, if you want to see.
Barbara Dunkelman
Yes. I was literally furiously writing it down, and then I saw that Micah put it in the chat.
Blaine Gibson
Budding butt.
Gustavo Stroll
My budding, budding buds.
Blaine Gibson
It's budding buds, bud.
Gustavo Stroll
It's in the chat, Buddy Bud.
Barbara Dunkelman
Is there, like, a kind of a reality check?
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
No.
Barbara Dunkelman
Okay.
Gustavo Stroll
No. You can maybe confer with your party, maybe share. Maybe they have some kind of insight.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Okay. Hey, guys. Natty, you could just listen. You could keep focusing on what you're doing over there. I'm getting a vision from the veiled eye, and I could See some words in the sky.
Barbara Dunkelman
And then I think I would recite them back. I don't know if you want me to say the whole thing to them.
Gustavo Stroll
It's up to you.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Winter, spring, summer, fall. My budding bud likes them all. Three hands up, three hands down. Wears royal robes without a crown. Sometimes bearded. Bathes in light. Armed with swords that never fight. Shares a name with what you see. Like colory fingerprints. Less than three.
Chris
Are they. Is it a cactus?
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Lesson three. Doesn't that make, like a heart?
Gustavo Stroll
Doug's very in touch with modern symbology. Modern runes.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
What do I like?
Barbara Dunkelman
It says, shares a name with what I see. But is there anything in particular that I'm seeing that stands out other than, of course, the words in the sky?
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah. I mean, there's that room. That's the shimmering. Excuse me. The glossy reflective floor. There's yellow mists that softened into puffs of clouds circling around you. Cloudy skies.
John Risinger
It seems like it's. I think you're on the right track. That it's something with, like a plant with thorns is what he's talking about.
Chris
Thorns? Yes.
Blaine Gibson
Something to thorns, sometimes. Bearded.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Bearded.
John Risinger
Non Bearded.
Blaine Gibson
Dragon.
Chris
Catfish.
Gustavo Stroll
You say catfish, but they have, like, whiskers.
John Risinger
If it's. If it lacks all the. All the seasons, it must be something that's like an evergreen kind of thing. Yeah.
Blaine Gibson
Budding bud.
Chris
Oh.
Blaine Gibson
Oh.
Barbara Dunkelman
Three hands up. Three hands down.
Blaine Gibson
It's not a clock.
John Risinger
Well, if you looked at, like, a tree, it looks like, I don't know, this might be stretching, but it looks like if you put like, three hands up, it's like all the branches and leaves, and then three hands down is all the roots and stuff.
Chris
Like a pine tree.
Blaine Gibson
Something that. Or a spider.
Chris
Swords that never fight.
John Risinger
Okay, we give up. Veiled Eye. What is it
Gustavo Stroll
you don't see? The Veiled Eye.
John Risinger
But I know that's why I'm just speaking out into this void.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Is it maybe referring to an eye?
John Risinger
Is it the Wilderflower?
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Is it referring to an eye, like an actual eyeball or like an iris?
Gustavo Stroll
Shooting stars are from the Veiled Eyes Body, and each of them settle into your respective hands. The starlight slowly dims, revealing magical relics. Doug, in your hand, you see a wrinkled blueprint with schematics for a new device called the Guiding Providence Sensor. The Guiding Providence Sensor. It's a blue brick shaped device with antenna and dials. It contains windows with an animated map, and it allows you to receive divine guidance to your destiny.
Barbara Dunkelman
Like a dowsing machine.
Gustavo Stroll
Dousing rod, some kind. Yeah, dowsing I'll just. So it was an iris and you did save it.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
I figured it out. I can figure it out.
Gustavo Stroll
You did and you did, Gunther. Seemingly it kind of shocks you that this shooting star seems to come out of nowhere and lands in your hand. And in it you. In your hand, you find a croak. Folk crafted wrapping known as the Ribbit ribbon.
Chris
The ribbon.
John Risinger
What's that do? Gunther?
Chris
I don't. Do I know what this does.
Blaine Gibson
He puts it in his luscious hair.
Gustavo Stroll
Of course.
Chris
Yes. This he puts on his Doug Fur wig.
Gustavo Stroll
You can wrap it around the hilt of your sword to augment it and give you additional abilities.
Chris
Oh, this is good stuff. I like this.
Blaine Gibson
That's cool.
Gustavo Stroll
And you can wrap it around the hilt of a sword to lash out at your enemies or keep your tongue tied.
Barbara Dunkelman
What?
Gustavo Stroll
As a bonus action, you squeeze the hilt twice and you gain additional reach on it. Oh. So. But you don't have to get as close to your enemies to. To attack them. Alternatively, you can tap the hilt on any hard surface and the blade collapses into the hilt. And then you can tap it again to extend it. Like a lightsaber.
Chris
Yeah, that's cool.
John Risinger
Or a switchblade.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
It's very cool.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah. Or switchblade. Tolv. Yes, Tolv. The shooting star lands in your hand and you see a shimmering Thaumatek crystal.
John Risinger
Ooh.
Gustavo Stroll
It's known as the Thaumatech Compact Disc Overclock Protocol Software.
Barbara Dunkelman
Say that five times fast.
John Risinger
Compact disc tcd.
Blaine Gibson
Okay, what was it again?
Gustavo Stroll
The Thaumatech Compact Disc Overclock Protocol Software.
John Risinger
Overclock Protocol software. TCD Ops tc.
Gustavo Stroll
You can ingest the data, you can stick it. Stick it in your mouth, and you can perform. Perform a software update. Oh.
Blaine Gibson
Ooh. Is this Big sur? What is it? It's one of the Apple names.
Gustavo Stroll
It's a snow leopard.
Blaine Gibson
Oh, I love this one.
Gustavo Stroll
It's a. Yeah. It's a thin circular disc of glass, and there's an inscription on one side that reads DPS Amplification Final Version 2.1. And it shimmers with rainbow colors on the other side.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Are these gifts from you, veiled eye?
Blaine Gibson
Yes.
Gustavo Stroll
Wow.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
I didn't get you anything.
Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)
You presented your invention.
Barbara Dunkelman
That's very true.
Gustavo Stroll
Tolf this. Basically, it's an overclock protocol, and it increases your damage output to 1d20.
Blaine Gibson
Good Lord.
Chris
Whoa.
Blaine Gibson
So attacks just now have an additional D20. Oh. It has three charges. I see.
Gustavo Stroll
That's a lot. Oh, do you see it?
Blaine Gibson
Yeah, I just added a two.
Gustavo Stroll
My thing oh, you got it. Okay. Yeah, yours is in there. Okay, great.
Blaine Gibson
Insert new mount to download software update. Tolv opens his mouth really wide and then a disc tray comes out.
Gustavo Stroll
It's not a coaster. You don't put your drink there. It's just for a cd. So yeah, there are, it is a little unstable. There may be, there may be some, some bugs that still are to be worked out. This is after all version 2.11. Of course.
John Risinger
Of course. Well, and if you're going to overclock your system, it's going to come with its own, you know, problems.
Gustavo Stroll
Yep, yep.
Blaine Gibson
To sticks it in his mouth. It goes back in. He kind of shut downs for a minute and then you hear like a, to like a, like a startup thing and then a bunch of like, like, like electronic kind of dial upy downloading sounds.
Gustavo Stroll
Love it. Natty, as you're changing Diggy's diaper, one of the shooters stars lands in your hand.
John Risinger
Oh, but it misses Natty's hand and lands in the diaper.
Gustavo Stroll
No, now you gotta retrieve it.
Chris
It's a dark star, black star.
Gustavo Stroll
It's a coiled relic known as the chain reigns of rustling.
Blaine Gibson
And you have to stick it in the mouth.
Gustavo Stroll
It's horse reins made of black chains and it feels like sand to the touch. The chains don't make much noise and you can. It allows you to summon those who seek runaways of death.
John Risinger
Oh, I like that.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
You rustling.
John Risinger
Yee haw.
Gustavo Stroll
Cool.
John Risinger
Natty, I guess, I don't know, puts it around her neck as like a necklace. I don't know how to carry this, but I'm going to put it that way.
Gustavo Stroll
You'll figure it out. Yeah. And you know, as you all look over these shooting stars and these items that have landed in your hand, you look down and you realize you can see the veiled eye as well. And the veiled eye is looking up at the four of you.
John Risinger
I.
Andre Ouelette (Veiled Eye)
And remember it's about time you met the Pathfinder.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
Like right now.
John Risinger
Yeah. Where we've been looking, man, I didn't even dress up.
Blaine Gibson
I'm still, you know, wearing the not good suit.
Gustavo Stroll
I feel like I need to just
Blaine Gibson
spruce myself up a bit.
John Risinger
Do you have other pairs of like sets of skin that you put on?
Blaine Gibson
I'm working on it. I measure Maddie up.
John Risinger
It's like Terminator looking for someone who's got clothes that fit him.
Gustavo Stroll
Your clothes. Give them to me. But to find out what happens, you have to tune in next time to the next episode of Tales from the Stinky dragon.
John Risinger
We're never finding this stupid God who's supposed to help us find stuff. They're just gonna be.
Gustavo Stroll
He's not supposed to help you find stuff. Just in general helps find stuff. Yeah, that's a. They get a lot of very highly yourself there.
Barbara Dunkelman (as Doug Boone)
I am.
John Risinger
I am main character energy. Thank you very much.
Blaine Gibson
Toll's gonna spray a little bit of mouth freshener in and like kind of slick back his hair. Okay, let's.
Gustavo Stroll
Let's meet this fella.
Blaine Gibson
Let's do this.
Gustavo Stroll
You got to get the compact disc out of your breath. We've released a Diagem die set@store.stinkydragonpod.com Tis right. Thy prayers hath been answered, all ye faithful followers of Dia. The sacred Diagems have been unearthed and can now be yours in the form of dice. Unlock the celestial and magical mysteries of Dia with all six colorful gemstone Diagem dice and the pearlescent white Diadem of Diagems D20. Fair warning to all followers of DIA. These premium glass and stone dice have been known to make you roll like gods. In honor of our five years of magic, get your Diagem dice set at store.stinkydragonpod.com don't miss the extra content on our Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Not only do we share grand tales of our podcast, but also post action packed gameplay videos in our side splitting animation and puppet shorts that shall bring a chuckle to even the grimmest of adventurers. Subscribe today and never miss a thing@YouTube.com inkydragonpod. New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday, wherever your streams of podcasts flow and on The Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Tired of waiting for the next adventure and looking for a quest? Join the ranks of the Stinky Dragon patrons@stinkydragonpod.com to get early access to episodes and unlock a horde of exclusive treasures and powerful artifacts. Like every one of our patrons gets access to access to our member only discord. That's like entering an adventuring guild hall where you instantly gain thousands of allies, fierce fellowship and incredible insights. Say goodbye to TPKs. You can also receive a coveted shout out on the show. Just like Soren, Jakerem, Marinosaurus, Rex, and Nuffle, these putrid patrons directly support the show and get access to all of these perks and more on our Patreon. Stop missing out on the adventure. Become a patron today@stinky.dragonpod.com Some NPCs were named after patrons from our Sneaky Dragon Discord and some of our friends provided voices in this tale, including Improv voiced by Bill Sunderland at Escape this podcast with guests playing on audio Escape rooms, including a recent episode featuring Chris and Blaine. Other shows featuring Bill and partner Danny. Solving original murder mysteries is called Solve this Murder. The Veiled Eye, voiced by Andre Ouelette. Andre Krat. This week's hour question was submitted by Alfred Unlund. One of those this episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst and Michael Reisinger, written, composed by Michael Risinger and edited by Alina Lecorchek. Join us in the tavern next time for another aromatic adventure of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Just make me an intelligence check, Doug.
Barbara Dunkelman
Not Barbara.
Gustavo Stroll
Barbara's not there. Doug's there.
Barbara Dunkelman
Well, that's an A18.
Gustavo Stroll
Yeah, and Doug's a pretty smart dude, unlike Barbara. No, I'm just saying, like, have faith in Doug.
Barbara Dunkelman
I'm a smart woman, not a smart dude.
Gustavo Stroll
Have faith in Doug. Doug is. You're trying to make me out. Like I said something I did or I had some intention that I did not.
Barbara Dunkelman
Don't worry, Gus. I know you think I'm smart. Otherwise you wouldn't have had me work on RTX with you.
John Risinger
Or maybe it's because you were dumb
Blaine Gibson
enough to join us to work on
John Risinger
that hell of a project.
Sponsor Voice
Your next chapter in healthcare starts at Carrington College's School of Nursing in Portland. Join us for our open house on Tuesday, January 13th from 4 to 7pm you'll tour our campus, see live demos, meet instructors, and learn about our associate degree in nursing program that prepares you to become a registered nurse. Take the first step toward your nursing career. Save your spot now at Carrington. Edu Events. For information on program outcomes, visit carrington. Edu Sci
Gustavo Stroll
and Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if. If it means sitting front row at a comedy show.
Blaine Gibson
Hey, everyone.
Barbara Dunkelman
Check out this guy and his bird.
Gustavo Stroll
What is this, your first date? Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.
John Risinger
Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.
Gustavo Stroll
Anyways, get a quote@libertymutual.com or with your local agent. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.
This episode plunges the party—Doug Boone (Barbara Dunkelman), Gunther (Chris), Tolv (Blaine Gibson), and Natty (John Risinger)—into a surreal, hazardous improv challenge devised by their Dungeon Master, Gustavo Stroll. In a nightmarish dreamscape turned twisted night market, the team must face “the Rule of M’Prov” and do battle with a pollution-spewing, improv-themed vending machine in a D&D adventure full of riddles, cartoon logic, and memorable gags.
C03 Ep.43 “Under Oondar Fire – Rules of M’Prov” is a high-spirited, meta-adventure where the Stinky Dragon adventurers must use creativity, humor, and improvisational thinking to overcome a magical, pollution-spewing vending machine. Drawing on their own storytelling skills and D&D rules knowledge, the players deploy improv and slapstick solutions precisely as the scenario demands, resulting in a comedic—and surprisingly satisfying—encounter.
The battle’s resolution leads to a surreal dream sequence, meeting the enigmatic Veiled Eye, solving a cosmic riddle, and receiving new magical artifacts tied to each character’s identity or past. The episode ends as the adventurers are about to meet the mysterious “Pathfinder”—setting up the next chapter in their ongoing, ever-improvised journey.
This episode is a fantastic jumping-on point for listeners drawn to improvisational play, D&D rule-wrangling, and podcasts with a no-holds-barred comedic heart. The cast’s chemistry and creativity shine, especially in the wild improv battle and riddle-solving segment, all while pushing their characters’ growth (and survival) to the limits.