C03 - Ep. 47 - Under Oondar Fire - Crying Bloody Mirror-der

Summary

Podcast Summary: Tales from the Stinky Dragon

C03 - Episode 47: “Under Oondar Fire - Crying Bloody Mirror-der”

Release Date: July 8, 2026
Hosts/Cast: Gustavo (Dungeon Master), John (Natty Wonder), Barbara (Doug Boon), Chris (Gunther), Blaine (Tolv)

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Overview

In this hilarious and action-packed episode, the adventurers continue their perilous trek through Chimera Keep. After a deadly brush with a terrifying, glass-mirrored chimera and several traps—including a magical gold-transmutation waterfall—the crew attempts to solve the secrets of the keep. Along the way, they befriend strange forest-dwelling creatures, meet the whimsical Grammy Fungus, and stumble into a secret laboratory: all while flexing creative problem solving, D&D shenanigans, and their trademark banter.

The episode blends classic D&D adventure with improv comedy, heartfelt teamwork, and a flair for the absurd, as the party faces shifting environments, wild magic, and quirky NPCs, culminating in a cliffhanger reunion with the elusive Bunlap.

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Key Discussion Points & Events

1. Opening Banter & “Arrow Question” Segment

(03:25 – 13:00)

• The DM, Gustavo, kicks things off with an “arrow question” for the party: “What play would you audition for and what role would you want?” (04:35)
  • Natty: Wants to be everyone in "Hair" or just do hair on stage. (06:00)
  • Doug: Would star in "The Play That Goes Wrong"—clumsiness suits the role. (07:53)
  • Gunther: Would be in "Cats" as “Monka’s Trap” or maybe “Rum Tum Tugger.” Discusses the predatory feline–bird dynamic. (10:12)
  • Tolv: Would be the Tin Man in "The Wizard of Oz." (11:56)
• Playful, rapid-fire puns and camaraderie abound, setting the comedic tone.

2. Face-off with the Mirror Chimera

(14:06 – 17:59)

• The adventurers witness a multi-headed, glass-bodied Chimera emerge from a water slide, its form a fusion of bison, raptor, ostrich, and manta ray. (14:53)
  • "The chimera looks like a weird amalgamation... with the wings of a manta ray." — Gustavo (15:34)
• The Chimera strikes with its mirror-shard tail, dealing hefty damage; Gunther goes down but is revived by Doug. (16:13, 19:12)
• After a brief but intense encounter, the Chimera runs through a magical painting portal, which collapses and blocks access to the treasure vault. (18:18–18:50)

3. Negotiations with the Goldenrod & Turning to Gold

(21:01 – 24:43)

• The Goldenrod demigod appears, blaming the party for blocking his access to the treasure vault. (21:01)
  • "You have locked the way to the treasure." — Goldenrod (21:05)
• He turns Doug to gold with magical water (Doug receives a golden tooth as a memento), then bargains with the party: restore his access and Doug will be revived. (22:05–24:32)

4. Climbing & the Water Slide Mystery

(27:09 – 40:52)

• The team explores options for ascending Chimera Keep: up a classic staircase, the mysterious slide, or a drafty tunnel. After some playful debate and animal interaction (including calming two wolverine-like creatures), they choose the water slide, which counter-intuitively shoots them upwards. (28:24–39:39)
  • "If the water goes up, then we could potentially float up through this slide." — Tolv (38:51)
• Constitution saves protect them from water slide queasiness. (40:42)

5. Goldfish, Barrel Loot & the Forested Lake

(43:06 – 47:02)

• At the bottom of a lake, Gunther discovers gold coins that turn into goldfish and peck at him—a comedic, twisted take on D&D loot. (43:26)
  • “Clever gur fishies.” — Gunther (45:04)
• The party divides a barrel’s gold, escapes the water (with minimal loss), and emerges on the shore of a mysterious forest lake shrouded in fog. (46:39)
• Notably, singing and giggling echo from the treetops, teasing the next mystery. (47:02)

6. Beware Falling Trees & Grammy Fungus

(48:00 – 55:01)

• The group barely avoids a falling tree, suspecting pranksters in the canopy—notably, Grammy Fungus' mischievous grandchildren. (48:49)
• Gunther climbs a tree with his tongue (Spider-Man style) and spots a mysterious, singing old woman—Grammy Fungus. Natty, mistrustful, launches an Eldritch Blast and nearly blasts Gunther as well, but the crew quickly rescues the old woman from a deadly fall. (50:13–54:00)
  • “We have a saying where I come from: Natty around and find out.” — Natty (53:26)
• Grammy Fungus proves to be a whimsical if exasperated NPC, dispensing advice, gold, and a trio of magical mushrooms that “are what you make of them.” (55:01–65:10)
  • "They are mush mushrooms." — Grammy Fungus (65:07)

7. Exploration: Lab, Portals, and Trinkets

(65:27 – 78:36)

• The party debates next moves, ultimately venturing to the mysterious lab revealed by Grammy Fungus. (66:26)
• In the lab, Doug and Natty are transformed into gold by a trapped water beam, rescued by Tolv’s quick thinking. (69:14–70:45)
• Investigation uncovers a potion-like cistern and various oddities, including a floating green armor plate (linked to Bunlap), a gold toadstool, and a pouch of freeze-dried flies. (75:25–76:53)
  • "This is armor of my people." — Gunther (76:45)

8. Secret Room Discovery

(83:01 – 85:34)

• Experimenting with the golden cistern reveals a secret, cozy hideout—cushioned, with a hearth and an air of magical calm. (85:13)
  • “You feel like a sense of calm comes over you. Like you could really unwind and let your hair down.” — Gustavo (89:41)
• The room is both a possible safe haven for a long rest and a vital plot zone: they discover Bunlap’s missing pouch and, in a dramatic cliffhanger, the man himself appears—sweaty and glistening, in true romance novel fashion. (91:43)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “The chimera looks like a weird amalgamation of different creatures…with the wings of a manta ray.”
  — Gustavo, [15:34]
• “Clever gur fishies.”
  — Gunther, [45:04]
• “We have a saying where I come from: Natty around and find out.”
  — Natty, [53:26]
• “They are mush mushrooms.”
  — Grammy Fungus, [65:07]
• “You feel like a sense of calm comes over you. Like you could really unwind and let your hair down as it were here.”
  — Gustavo (on the secret room), [89:41]
• “This is armor of my people.”
  — Gunther (re: floating green plate), [76:45]
• “It's like three little kids in a trench coat pretending to be an adult.”
  — Gustavo (regarding toadstool kids), [76:00]
• “Find out how Bunlap is doing in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon!”
  — Gustavo, [92:20]

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Key Timestamps

• Arrow Question (Improv intro): [04:35 – 13:00]
• Mirror Chimera Battle: [14:06 – 17:59]
• Doug Turns to Gold: [22:00 – 24:32]
• Water Slide Ascent: [38:44 – 40:52]
• Lake/Goldfish Encounter: [43:06 – 47:02]
• Tree Climb/Grammy Fungus: [50:04 – 55:01]
• Grammy’s Mushrooms: [65:10]
• Lab Transformation/Mystery: [69:14 – 74:03]
• Secret Room (Cistern): [85:13 – 89:41]
• Cliffhanger with Bunlap: [91:43 to episode end]

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Episode Flow & Tone

• The tonality oscillates between slapstick comedy, collaborative puzzle-solving, and occasional meta-play, keeping a relaxed, improvisational D&D vibe.
• Running gags (e.g., gold teeth, character impressions, references to musicals) intersperse with crunchy game mechanics, creative roleplay, and in-character fourth wall breaks.
• The DM’s narration is both descriptive and witty, allowing the cast’s personalities to shine as they riff off each other and the unfolding story.

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For New Listeners

If you’re new to Tales from the Stinky Dragon, this episode is representative of the series’ strengths: a balance of dice-driven danger, absurd humor, heartfelt team spirit, and a loving lampoon of fantasy tropes. Whether you’re into actual-play D&D or just want a great audio comedy experience, there’s magic (and gold) to be found here.

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Listen for Next Time

What secrets does Bunlap hold? Will the party finally ascend the keep and restore access to the vault? And what unexpected mischief awaits in Chimera Keep’s halls?

Tune in for the next aromatic adventure—only on Tales from the Stinky Dragon!

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Transcript

[A]

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hi guys. John here, you've probably heard me before talk about my own journey with mental health and therapy. But did you know? BetterHelp's 2026 State of Stigma report surveyed 2,000Americans and it revealed that 85% of Americans believe getting support is wise, but 74% say society discourages people from doing so. That makes me very sad to hear that because I'm a proponent for people seeking help with their mental health. But I know there's kind of a gap there. And so let's talk about that gap between believing the mental health support and actually seeking it and what we can do as a society to close that gap. And one thing you can do is to use better help. So don't let the stigma stand in the way of the support that you need. Start therapy with better help and you guys can sign up and get 10% [e-mail] Stinky Dragon so that's better. H E L P.com Stinky Dragon this show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

[B]

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[C]

Sorry, I think there's been a mistake.

[B]

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[D]

You what?

[B]

Yeah, great price.

[C]

I even have seven days to love it or return it. So there's no, no, no buyer's remorse. More like Buyers rejoice.

[B]

I guess I'll let myself out. Congratulations. I mean it.

[C]

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[D]

Merry meetings all you molars. Quirks Crew into the Stinky Dragon and ingest our latest infusion. This little piggy digged up the market. It's a mixture of tunneling tea leaves,

[A]

well watered, ground up guava juice, a

[D]

landslide of lychee lemon juice, an avalanche of agave syrup and soy milk and

[B]

topped with a clawful of cardamom.

[D]

One engulfing of this ground up gulp and you'll be dishing the dirt Then digging beneath the surface and then dredging up the past.

[A]

Then going down rabbit holes and rethinking your life's choices.

[D]

Previous star adventurers uttered with the undead to uncover the unknowns of this underground mine. They spotted signs supplying bearings for Bunlap, unearthed another of thought provoking Thaumatek, and gabbed with the goldenrod demigod. Now they're toe to toe with the titular terror of this tiered Keep the Chimera. Draw yourself a drip and let's dive into this dank drama.

[B]

Hello everyone. Welcome to Tales on the stingy Dragon. I'm your dungeon master, Gustavo Sorola, and I'm gonna hit our four players with an arrow.

[A]

Hey guys, I just had a thought. I think we're good on no more plushes. We've got all the good ones made. You know, everyone who's got who needs a plush made? Technically 4 have been made because I've got gumbo in one hand and mud in the other hand. So I think we're good.

[C]

He is so tiny. I love him so much, the little gumbo.

[A]

What do you think, audience? You think we're good? I think we're good. You know, don't even tell me. I know we're good. No more Stu jokes on you, John.

[E]

This is audio podcast and no one can see it.

[A]

See what? See what, Chris?

[E]

I don't know nothing.

[A]

You almost fell under his trap. I rolled a one five, 17, 10.

[B]

All right, so it looks like we've got John with a 17, then Doug with a 10, Gunther with a 5, and Tove with a 1. Tove. I feel like you've had some bad rolls lately for arrows.

[A]

Yoo hoo.

[B]

Yeah, no, not yet. Not yet.

[D]

The back of the line. You don't want mine.

[B]

Get out of here. This week's arrow question is for what play would you audition and what role would you want? And that's submitted by Algae.

[C]

Oh, great question.

[B]

I feel like that's like the. The Algarok's child's fun nickname. Like Algarok junior. Algae.

[C]

Algae. Before we get into the answers of the question, I do want to point out, I don't know how often we mention this except at the end of the episode, but where are people asking these questions?

[A]

Gus asking, oh, what a great question, Barbara.

[C]

Were they asking where are they asking these questions? I don't know why I said it like that, but you know these are

[B]

taken from members of our Patreon at sneakydragonpod.com and.

[D]

Wait, really?

[B]

As part of that, you can Join our discord and you can submit questions like this.

[D]

I thought we were just asking people on the streets. You go to our Patreon stinky dragonpod.com.

[B]

you do stinkydragonpod.com and you can, you can submit your own arrows.

[A]

When do we tell Blaine We've all been getting paid for this and he hasn't for a while.

[D]

Will you guys make money?

[C]

He's just been on the street waiting for people to ask him questions.

[D]

That's weird.

[E]

Everyone makes money. You just make funny there.

[B]

That's good. That's really good. It's a shame the episode hasn't started yet. That would have been inspiration.

[D]

Not worthy.

[B]

John, you're up.

[A]

Hi, everybody. I'm John Risinger and I play Natty Wonder, who is a drow, warlock, drag queen, mother of the bringer of the apocalypse, and generally all around good gal.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yes, yes. Yeah. Very good gal.

[A]

If I were to audition for a play, I'm going to take this a step further and I'm going to say it's going to be a musical. I know plays denote just talking, but if I'm going to be in a play, there's going to be music, whether or not it's in the script. So we might as well make it a musical. And I was thinking about this, and you know what? I was listening to an album the other day, and it just got stuck in my head. It's like, I want to be in the musical Hair, because I heard these two gentlemen singing a song from Hair.

[B]

Go on.

[A]

And it just sounded like a really fun. The way these guys performed it, this duet of theirs. It seemed really good. And so, yeah, I want to be in Hair. But like, you asked, like, what role? And I just want to do all the hair. Can I just be that role? Can I just be in charge of all the hair and not just behind the scenes? I want to come out on stage and do hair as well. So I'd just be, I'd just be constantly, you know, giving people more hairspray and body and blowouts and all that kind of stuff.

[B]

I think there's another musical Cuban called Hairspray. You could do a double feature, Natty.

[D]

Yeah, Hairspray. What a creative answer, Natty.

[A]

Like, you sound spooky.

[C]

Creative answer.

[B]

He's sulking.

[C]

He's boohoo told.

[A]

So, yeah, today, that's what I do. I want to do hair.

[B]

Oh, that's that, that's fun. That's Gustavo. I, I, I may have heard of it. I may have been Cursing that musical for a week or two a couple months ago.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

There's a mouthful of words in. In that song. Yeah.

[C]

The benefit of joining our patreon is hearing Gustavo sing that song from benefit,

[A]

making that word stretch a little bit.

[B]

Join in spite of it. All right. Thanks, Natty. Appreciate that. Next up, Doug Boone.

[E]

Hello, everyone.

[C]

It's Barbara Dunkelman playing Doug Boon, the artificer bugbear.

[F]

And so there is actually this play that I've heard of that I think Doug would be perfect for to the point where I don't think Doug even needs to audition. I think they would see me and see me interact with things and know that I'm perfect for any role in this play because Doug is a little clumsy, if you guys weren't aware. And there's a play called the play that goes wrong, where things are falling, set pieces are coming apart. There's all sorts of mischief and madness. And I think Doug just gotta show up and be Doug, and things will go wrong naturally. So I'm ready for my debut on the stage. Put me in, coach. It's, I think, a part I was born to play.

[B]

You're gonna be a dog in a china shop.

[D]

I'm so upset by this answer because we were gonna go to that play when you, me, and our significant others were out. And I was like, we should go to this play. And you're like, we should go to Wicked.

[A]

And I was like, we'll go to Wicked.

[C]

That's when we were in London. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah, it was great. Wicked.

[E]

It was great.

[A]

But, man, I still think about that play.

[D]

It's so funny.

[C]

Yeah. I've never seen it, but I've heard of it, and I heard it's very entertaining to watch. But Wicked was wicked.

[D]

Pretty wicked.

[B]

I hear they made a movie out of it. If I could sidebar about Doug for a moment here, you know, you were talking about Doug being clumsy. If I get a little meta here, I think is what I meant to say.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And so I decided to look at Doug's character sheet, and Doug's dexterity is 14. And I thought, oh, that's not that clumsy. Then I compared you to everyone else in the party, and you're the least dexterous. This is a very dexterous party that we've got going on here.

[F]

Very dexterous. Yeah. No, Doug is. I think it's because I got these big old hands.

[C]

Hands.

[F]

Big fingers. It's like, you know. You know when you're, like, trying to dial something on something and, like, you're Pressing all the wrong buttons and stuff like that. It's just little things where, you know, I'm still trying to figure it out. But if I try to work on, you know, electronics or some type of invention, then for some reason that I can really finesse that.

[B]

You can do it.

[E]

Your.

[B]

Your fongers become fingies.

[D]

Fongers.

[B]

Big old honking fongers.

[A]

I don't like that.

[C]

I love the word fongers. I've never heard someone that in my whole life.

[D]

Like, someone would call me that in rage.

[B]

All right, thanks, Doug. Next up, Gunther.

[E]

Hi, I'm Chris by Gunther, the male croak folk fighter. And for me, I would audition for the play Cats. Oh, I've never seen this play, but I imagine it would help me. It would get insight into the mind of a predator of birds. Oh, and then also, hey, I think,

[A]

Gunther, do you know how many names cats have?

[E]

I have a name of a character I was going to play, but I don't know how many names. How many names do Cats have?

[A]

Go watch the show and you'll learn. They tell you in the first song.

[E]

Oh, well, the one I would play, I think, because of the name, is Monka's Trap. It's a good name. It's also a baritone.

[B]

Oh, you feel like that's in your range.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

I don't think you're a baritone.

[C]

Sorry.

[E]

A bit of a.

[A]

Bit of a musical person over here. I don't think with that voice, I think you might be a bass.

[D]

I see you as more of a rum tum tugger.

[B]

That's what I was thinking, Tolv. I was thinking the same thing. I'm glad you said it. Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

So is it a whole, like, enemy of my enemy is my friend kind of deal with cats and birds going on here, Gunther?

[E]

Yeah, I do not particularly am friends with cats, but I'm not against them. I think you would just. It's like learning. Learning new ways to hunt lions.

[D]

Yes, yes.

[B]

I want to see Gunther learn to, like, use retractable claws in his mouth.

[E]

Yeah,

[B]

I want that as an alert on my phone. All right, thanks, Gunther. And finally. Oh, Tolv.

[D]

Oh, you hoots me. It's Tolv. I've been waiting all day to answer this question. Do the pee pee dance outside of the interview room. So, ready? Where am I? Oh, hey, it's Blaine Gibson. I play Tolve, the male thaumatech barbarian. And as far as a play that I would want to participate in, I think I would be perfect for the Tin man in the wizard of Oz. And I want to clarify, not wicked, because that guy sucks, okay? He is filled with rage.

[C]

Very really mean character.

[A]

You're a barbarian.

[D]

Well, I can still be a friendly barbarian. But anyways, I think I'm going to play the Tin Man. And, yeah, I think I could just. I could be naked on stage. Costume. I'm wardrobe ready, no makeup needed. Just shine me up with some turtle vats.

[F]

You know, it's funny. I was also considering having my intro be auditioning for wizard of Oz.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

And you could, I mean, obviously guess which character I would audition for the Oz. I mean, guys, clearly it'd be Toto.

[D]

Toto. Oh, okay.

[F]

Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.

[D]

You would be a very large Toto.

[F]

Or Dorothy. You know, there's no place like home.

[E]

Yeah, I was thinking you would be the wizard of Oz because he makes contraptions.

[C]

Oh.

[F]

But he's not a nice guy that he makes contraptions.

[B]

Wait, what is that?

[E]

Contraptions.

[B]

Oh, what a. What a fun motley collection. And maybe we could get all of you to play all your respective characters in one mega musical with hair, cats, the Tin man, all in the play that goes wrong.

[C]

Yeah, now I'm trying to think like us as the cast of wizard of Oz. You'd have Natty as Dorothy. Tolv is the Tin Man, Doug is the. The lion, and I guess Gunther is the scarecrow.

[A]

He's scared of birds.

[B]

Just like Scarecrow missing a brain.

[F]

Nice joke.

[B]

The best jokes are followed up with, that was a joke.

[D]

That was a joke.

[B]

And as you, you know, you're looking at the golden rod disappearing back into the ceiling. Everyone except Gunther. There's some motion in the water slide that catches your attention. You see, almost like a reflective image in the water, a beast of some kind looking at you in the water

[A]

at the bottom of the water slide. Or the water, like, rushing through the water slide.

[B]

The water rushing through the water slide.

[C]

Could I go up and take a closer look?

[B]

Yeah, you go up. And as you're approaching, the beast begins, like, pacing back and forth. And then it slowly steps out from the water before you. And it appears to be like a large fusion of three different beasts made up of some kind of multifaceted glass.

[D]

Oh, the chimera.

[B]

It's three headed, two winged and one tailed. And it looks at you. Doug locks eyes with you and with all of its heads, lets out a cacophonous, hideous animal roar. The chimera emerges from the reflective surface of the water slide. Bone dry. Catching you all by surprise. The chimera looks like a weird amalgamation of different creatures. Its left head and hindquarters are that of a bison. Its center head and four quarters are that of a raptor, and its right head and tail are that of an ostrich, all with the wings of a manta ray.

[F]

Oh, dear.

[B]

Gosh. As the chimera emerges from the water slide and looks around the room, the gold chasers begin running away as quickly as they can out of the room. I have a question.

[D]

When the chimera emerged, did it go wee because it was coming down a water slide, did it get detained? It's having a great time.

[B]

Tell you what, why doesn't everyone roll me a D20, okay.

[C]

Just a standard D20.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

To see if it had fun. Is that what we're doing?

[B]

Um, we'll call this luck.

[A]

5, 2, 11, 12.

[D]

Which, as you know, when tove rolls, it is a nat 12. So that's like a nat 20.

[C]

It's a nat 12.

[B]

Yes. The Chimera whips around very rapidly, lashing its tail out at the four of you. Why doesn't everyone make me a dexterity saving throw?

[A]

The tail of an ostrich, to be specific.

[F]

Right.

[B]

Yeah. It has to get real close.

[A]

I was going to say it's mostly feathers.

[D]

Oh, it feels so good on my face.

[A]

Oh, that's a good one.

[C]

A six.

[A]

Saving throw 21.

[D]

I had a nine. And then a 17.

[E]

Seven.

[B]

So to and Natty succeed as the tail whips around and lashes out at the four of you. Natty or John making your comment about the ostrich tail, Something about the light glistens off of it, and you realize that the tail is covered in mirror shards. Oh, mirror. And it slashes at all of you. Those of you who fail your saving throw, take 21 points of piercing damage.

[A]

Ooh.

[B]

Those of you who succeed, take half. So we'll round down and say 10.

[D]

Hutchi chachi.

[E]

All right. It's 21.

[B]

Yes.

[E]

Gunther.

[B]

Oh.

[E]

Go. Oh. And falls down.

[F]

Oh, no.

[E]

I'll go.

[B]

Oh.

[E]

Oh.

[C]

Is. You said there's shards of mirror in its tail?

[B]

Yeah. Like it's covered in it. Yeah.

[C]

Is it? Does it look like those chimera? That's what I was thinking. Like, are those part of its tail? Or does it look like it collected those or, like, got hit with those?

[B]

Making nature check for me, Douglas.

[C]

12.

[D]

Not 12.

[B]

From what you can tell as it flashes by, you think it's all part of it.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And it's just the tail that has it, not the full body.

[B]

It's composed of some kind of diamond. Hard, multifaceted glass. The entire chimera.

[C]

Gotcha.

[B]

After spinning around and lashing out at your. The chimera looks around the room regarding it. Doug, with your. With your nature. Check there. You think it's got an angry look on its face. Then it walks back to the water slide.

[C]

It's gonna go again.

[B]

Shudders near the mouth of the water slide, then very quickly takes off in a run towards the western wall towards the painting of the treasure vault. And jumps through the painting.

[A]

Whoa.

[D]

Mario style.

[B]

Yeah. And as you're looking at the painting, it seems like it changes. You know, you saw that it would look like a treasure vault a second ago. Kind of wobbles a little bit. And then it's almost like from your point of view, it falls down onto the floor and is now face down, facing the floor.

[D]

Took care of that problem. It's trapped now. Can't get back out.

[A]

I need to roll a giggy. Check.

[B]

Okay.

[F]

I wonder where that went.

[A]

To see if you'll go and peek at the other side. Side of the painting.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

18. That's a positive. So I'd say he won't.

[E]

Okay.

[F]

Good boy.

[A]

But that was a thought, though, in my head is that I would want to look to see. And I was like, all right. Intrusive thoughts. I apply to Gigi.

[B]

I appreciate it.

[C]

Oh, could I go help Gunther?

[B]

Chris, Nice role playing. I like it.

[D]

Quiet down, Gunther, please. We're looking at paintings. We're admiring art.

[B]

Yeah. Doug, what do you want to do?

[C]

Could I go. Go help him up and then cast cure wounds?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I'll do it at the second level because he's very hurt.

[F]

Okay.

[C]

That'll be 13 points of healing.

[E]

Oh, yes. Thank you. That sounded weird. Sorry. Did not mean to make it weird, dog.

[A]

Yep, that did. I'm glad you said it.

[F]

I think I accidentally, like, popped something back in place, so I get it, you know? Feeling good.

[D]

Oh, me next. I'll have what he's having.

[C]

Did I just not cast the spell? But could I just go and try to, like, crack tulps back?

[E]

Oh. Oh, yes.

[D]

That felt good.

[F]

I think I broke a fuse or something like that in there.

[C]

Heart?

[F]

I don't know.

[E]

Take you. Doug, I apologize for falling down. I'm. If not, I'm only at half my strength at the moment.

[F]

That's okay. We'll get you back in ship. Ship shape. Tip top. Ship shape. What is the Phrase.

[B]

I could tell.

[A]

I could tell you, Barbara. We're so not confident with the end of that idiom.

[C]

Ship tape, chip shop, tip tape, pinky to.

[D]

Why are you only at half of your abilities? Gunther?

[E]

I have made a sacrifice.

[D]

Was it to your deity, perhaps?

[E]

Yes. Not in between us. Not you.

[D]

Note to self.

[F]

When did you do that?

[E]

Two episodes ago.

[D]

Girl, we need to go out for drinks and talk about this. You've got. You got relationship issues that we need to get to the bottom of.

[B]

Speaking of deities. With a click and a whir, the goldenrod reappears from the ceiling.

[C]

Hey, buddy.

[B]

Look what you've done.

[A]

What we do?

[E]

What do we do?

[F]

What do we do?

[E]

You have locked the way to the treasure.

[B]

I can't get there anymore.

[E]

What am I supposed to do?

[D]

Put the map back up or the painting? We can just stand back up.

[F]

Also. We had no involvement in that coming down, by the way.

[D]

Yeah, that was the Chimera.

[E]

The Chimera.

[B]

Chimera. So, just to be clear, the painting in this room is still in the same orientation, but the view you see is no longer of the vault. You see the floor through the painting.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[D]

We're playing with portals here.

[A]

Oh, it's not face down, right?

[B]

It's like the other side of the portal got put down onto the floor.

[D]

Oh.

[E]

Oh. So, like, okay, so they went on the other side, knocked down the painting on that side, and so the port.

[B]

Right.

[E]

No, you all are the cause of this.

[B]

And with that, the goldenrod begins pouring water, like, profusely. Just water starts flowing through, out from the goldenrod all over you, Doug.

[F]

Oh, gosh.

[B]

And you feel like your joints start to stiffen up a little bit.

[E]

Oh, geez.

[B]

And everyone else can see that Doug slowly from his feet to the top of his head is turning into solid gold.

[E]

Oh, no.

[B]

Oh, Phil E. Oh, my God.

[D]

You look fabulous. We have to help. Oil.

[F]

Oil.

[A]

Can Natty, go rush over. Put the painting back up.

[B]

You can't. The painting in this room is still up. It's the corresponding one on the other side that's down.

[D]

So imagine you're playing portal, right? And then the thing that the other portal is out is turned down.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Turn down for what?

[E]

Stop. Stop. What do you want? We'll give you other things other than Doug.

[D]

We'll give you gold.

[E]

Gold? How much gold? All of it. Whatever.

[B]

I don't know about all.

[E]

And where am I meant to put it?

[A]

If I can't get to my treasure

[E]

vault, will Kitchi's Back up.

[A]

Hey, where is your treasure vault? Because we could go there, and we could fix the portal.

[E]

The vault is at the top of Chimera Keep.

[B]

It's where the Chimera maketh lair.

[D]

Okay, so to recap, this is just a shortcut. It's not like across the world. It's literally in the same building. And your door just got jammed to get directly there.

[E]

There's no elevator, and gold is heavy.

[B]

I don't know what you're getting at.

[E]

As if I'm lazy here.

[A]

He's got a point there. Gold's really heavy. It actually is. It's quite a heavy metal.

[D]

How would you know? You have a gambling problem. I mean. Okay, I think that this is an easy enough issue to fix. We can just stop pouring molten gold on Doug here. He looks fantastic, but I don't want him to die.

[F]

This is kind of painful.

[B]

So just so you know, so I'm painting the picture correctly. It's water that's flowing over Doug. But Doug is turning into gold as the water is flowing over him.

[E]

Well, yes, we can fix it. We will put it back, but we need Doug to do it.

[C]

Could I try, like, moving out of the way of those?

[B]

You can't. You are. You are solid gold Doug. The golden Doug.

[D]

His catchphrase is, literally, I can figure it out. You need this guy for this job. Stop putting him into the gold fo.

[C]

And the other phrase is, I got a heart of gold.

[F]

And it's coming to fruition.

[E]

All right, fine, though. It's settled.

[D]

You will restore access to the vault,

[B]

and I will free your friend.

[E]

But you free your friend first. You drive a hard bargain.

[B]

And with that, it's almost like the golden rod reverses the direction of the water, and it comes back up out of Doug. And Doug restores the himself into his normal furry self.

[F]

Whoa. That was intense.

[A]

I think that gold had a little bit of a moisturizing effect because you look lustrous now.

[D]

You are glowing. My goodness.

[C]

Is it kind of. Do I have any, like, remains of the gold on myself? Like, you know, and you're out in the snow, and the little, like, snowflakes are just dusting you, and it looks all magical and beautiful. Is that Doug with the gold?

[B]

No, but your teeth are gold. Oh, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

[A]

I'm kidding.

[C]

Just one tooth. One tooth?

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

We'll give you one tooth. You have one remaining gold tooth. I like that.

[E]

I have a question about this Chimera. What do you know of it, and how can we Defeat it.

[B]

Make a persuasion check for me. Gunther14 oh.

[E]

The Chimera is ferocious and can take many forms. It can also move.

[D]

It can mew like a cow.

[F]

Mew.

[B]

You begin getting covered with water and toll.

[E]

The Chimera can also transport itself through reflective or translucent surfaces. Tolve your gold.

[C]

Does that mean it could come through Tolv?

[E]

Ooh, what a wise question, my furry friend.

[F]

Is it going to be like the chest burster kind of situation here?

[B]

The goldenrod reverses the water and cold is no longer gold. Do you have a gold tooth? No. You have nothing.

[D]

What?

[E]

Is there anything it is afraid of?

[D]

Oh, yeah. Like super effective attacks against it?

[E]

We don't know. As of yet, we have not been able to defeat it, though we cannot say. So.

[D]

So what is your relationship with the Chimera? Because it seems like you occupy the same space, you know, chimera keep. So you must encounter it and like a lot. Do you have any like super sweet tips or tricks? Give like a game guide or something? Cheat codes?

[E]

We have been unable to defeat it, though as of yet, we do not know what does he want besides just to knock him over fart?

[B]

It desires peace and quiet.

[F]

I feel that it was probably your

[B]

loud noises that drew it here and

[A]

angered it to begin with.

[B]

Which is why this is all your fault.

[F]

Okay, I'm starting to see your logic on this one.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now hurry.

[E]

Go restore access to my treasure.

[F]

Okay, well, you said that's at the top of the keep.

[E]

Yes.

[F]

Okay, then what's the quickest way to get there? Because you know we're trying to do this for you, so you might as well help us.

[D]

The stairs.

[F]

Well, that seems to make sense. Which stairs?

[E]

Do I have to do everything for you? Ugh.

[B]

The agreement is you figure it out.

[E]

There are many ways to get there.

[B]

Now just go and do it.

[F]

Okay. Okay. Gosh.

[D]

Seems like we got a bit of a stealth mission on our hands.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

And with that, the golden rod disappears back into the ceiling.

[D]

What a jerk.

[F]

Time to go upwards.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Do we want to attempt to walk up the water slide?

[B]

Who is team leader?

[E]

Doug, I believe.

[B]

I think it is still Doug.

[C]

I think it's time we change that.

[B]

So just before you change, then just to recap this specific room and to kind of go back into what Tolf was saying. There. There is a. This water slide to the northwest that the chimera appeared from. In addition to that, there's a corridor to the west, which is how you all entered this room to begin with. And there is A tunnel to the east, which is kind of dark and drafty.

[C]

That tunnel to the east interests me for some reason.

[F]

Anybody want to just check out that tunnel real quick? I'm curious what that draft is.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah, let's do it.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Nat. Natty walks over to the east tunnel.

[B]

Yeah. You're still team leader.

[E]

Doug, before we could. I could still use. I'm still. I. I do not want to be a liability. I might need a short rest.

[D]

Oh, I have an idea. If you want to not be a liability, start worshiping a different God. How does that sound?

[B]

Got him.

[C]

Do we have the opportunity to take a short rest here?

[B]

Yeah, that's up to you guys. That's up to you, Mr. Team Leader.

[F]

Yeah, you know, Gunther, I want you to be able to be a tip top shape ship shop. Ship, ship shop, shape shop. So let's. Let's go ahead, take a short rest here, take a couple deep breaths, maybe do some stretching. Perfect.

[C]

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[E]

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[A]

You have a good idea?

[E]

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[B]

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[D]

I have a few different pairs of

[B]

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[A]

What's the face look like?

[B]

It's hard to see because a lot of the frame fur and the hair is like hanging over the face, so you can't really see the face itself. But you do see a tongue sticking out, dripping saliva.

[D]

It's like a zigzagoon.

[C]

Can I go up to it?

[B]

Yeah. It seems like startled, almost like it didn't realize you were there at first. And it backs, it backs off. The two of them back off. Begin growling.

[F]

It's okay. We're not predators. We're just passing through. Don't want to cause any problems. Don't want to fight you. Everything is okay.

[B]

Make a animal handling check for me, Douglas.

[C]

I'm going to use my inspiration die. Inspiration die.

[B]

That was a three. So here comes the inspiration die to save the day.

[F]

20.

[A]

Nice.

[E]

All right.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, they were like all the muscles in their body were super tense, but as you kind of talk to them in a calming, soothing voice, it seems like their muscles relax a little bit and they begin slowly backing away from you back towards the eastern corridor.

[A]

Hey, Doug, you seem to have a good rapport with them. Why don't you see if they could, they could guide us a little bit to our destination.

[F]

I'll give it a shot. I don't know if they speak our languages though, but.

[A]

Well, they, they seem to be calmed by your voice and presence.

[D]

We could always use more familiars, dog.

[F]

That's true. Never full enough of people. We gotta keep track of here. Well, gentlemen, do you happen to know how to get to the closest staircase going upwards?

[D]

Other beatboxing. My God. Beautiful.

[F]

If I'm understanding Morse code, always. Dot, dash, dot, dot, dot, dash, dash, dot, dash.

[B]

No, no, Hesitation. I love it.

[D]

Did the chimera, when they, like, swiped at any of us, did they leave, like, a shard of glass or, like,

[A]

hair or a feather?

[D]

Just any sort of remnant of the Chimera era?

[A]

There's a pile of poop. I mean, I'll take it. Yeah, if they got that.

[B]

We're trying to incorporate some new mechanics and doing things a little differently. Roll me a D20. Let's call it a luck check.

[D]

D 2014.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

You see a small shard of glass, like a little bit of mirror that must have broken off of the tail as it swiped at you.

[F]

Nice.

[D]

Okay, so I grab the mirror, and I pull out a bit of ration kit. And kind of going along with. With, like, what Doug is going after, I'd be like, you know, I hold it in front of them, you know, kind of like, where did it go? Where's the chimera?

[B]

This is what you look like.

[C]

Could Doug maybe also try to imitate the animal that was. Or the chimera, as well as Tolva's doing that to, like, try to get them to piece the puzzles together.

[A]

Now, you guys playing charades with these things? Is that what you're doing?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Okay, Doug, why don't you remind me? What did the chimera look like?

[C]

Well, I'm very happy you asked that, Gustavo, because it looks like different creatures. A bison, a raptor, ostrich, wings of a manta ray. And then the tail, of course, has shards of mirror in it. It's crazy.

[B]

That's really good. Why don't you make me an animal handling check then for your performance there, Doug?

[C]

1313.

[B]

They get a. Obviously they get a whiff of the piece of mirror that you're waving in front of them. Totally. And they see Doug doing an excellent pantomime of the chimera. And Gunther. It makes you a little scared. Based on what happened last time, you deserve to be on Broadway. The two creatures seem to get excited and make a beeline for the painting. And they start excitedly pawing at it.

[E]

They might be babies.

[F]

Oh, okay.

[C]

Could we try to pick up the painting?

[F]

Or, like, do you guys want to try to go through here or something like that? Maybe that's what they're telling us.

[D]

Yeah, I mean, if my understanding is correct, like, the painting's on the wal, but the view is of the ground where the next painting portal is correct. So, like, I can only imagine that, at best, we could try to pry the edges and see if we could, like, lift the very portal that we are Trying to go through open, but I don't feel like that's gonna work.

[B]

Yeah. Then the two animals then take off running towards the water slide excitedly.

[F]

They're gonna go have fun.

[E]

I think they might be babies of it.

[D]

Like Chimera babies.

[E]

Yes, they are. They're different things mixed together, and they seem to get excited.

[D]

Oh, such a shame we had to kill its mama.

[F]

Not necessarily.

[E]

Or maybe I think it would kill us, if I'm being honest.

[F]

That's very true.

[E]

Is the water slide go up usually

[C]

a slide would like. I mean, if you wanted to climb a slide, you'd be able to because it would be somewhere that's elevated. Right.

[B]

The slide comes down. It's an ascending water slide tube, but the water goes up.

[D]

I have an idea for this slide.

[E]

The water flows up?

[B]

Yeah. It doesn't make any sense.

[F]

What's your idea, Tolf?

[D]

If the water goes up, then we could potentially float up through this slide. But if not, I have a backup plan for how we can climb this.

[E]

We all float down here.

[B]

The animals run away out towards the western corridor that you all came from.

[E]

Okay. Oh, okay.

[D]

I throw my rations at them.

[B]

They seem to ignore it, and they just run past.

[D]

Great waste of rations.

[A]

Cool.

[D]

We wanted to go through that. I did want to say we wanted to go through that one corridor where the kind of air was coming out, but also, like, this seems like an upward direction if that one doesn't pan out. So maybe that could be plan B.

[F]

Team leader, you know, I want to do what Tov wants to do.

[D]

Okay, well, then, I mean, we can go up the slide then, if that's what we want to do.

[F]

I think we should give it a shot. I mean, the water's going up. To me, it makes sense.

[D]

Okay. Gunther, are you recovered?

[E]

Yes, I'm good. Let's go.

[B]

All right, let's go.

[E]

Gunther runs and jumps into the slide.

[B]

Gunther's very excited. The water slide, you know, it's an ascending water slide tube that has rushing fresh water. It seems impossible for the water to be ascending like this. Gunther, you jump in. So the other three of you see Gunther dive in and then disappear up the water slide tube as it spirals up.

[D]

Now that we got rid of that guy, I'll follow.

[B]

Cole dives in. What does that sound like to.

[D]

It'll be more pneumatic, like when you

[A]

go to the bank and they have the tube.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

I guess. I guess we're all going if we're going to stay together.

[F]

Shall we?

[A]

Bugbears first.

[B]

Doug, and then, Natty, what does it sound like when you dive in? Doug,

[A]

he doesn't quite get pulled in, and Natty has to push him in a little bit.

[B]

And Natty, what does that sound like when you dive in?

[A]

Natty jumps in. You just hear it go, yee haw.

[B]

Yee haw. All right, everyone. Go ahead and make me constitution saving throws.

[E]

Oh, no. Are we gonna be turned to gold.

[A]

21. Rolling hot today.

[C]

20, 24.

[E]

17.

[B]

Everyone rolled really well there. You dive into the water slide, and it's very violent. It's, you know, it spins you around. Up is down, down is up. You tumble through it, and it makes you really queasy. But you manage to maintain your composure. All four of you, in pretty quick succession, one after another, emerge on the other end of the water. Well, from your perspective, you're just in water. You're in a big body of water. Gunther, you went in first. What do you do?

[E]

Well, does it in somewhere like.

[B]

Yeah, like the. The water slide has spit you out into, like, a pool. But you're at the bottom of the pool, essentially. Think of it that way.

[E]

I'll look around because I can see and move around pretty well in water. Do I see anything stick out? If not, I'm gonna swim up.

[D]

Got any lily pads?

[B]

Make me a perception check. Gunther.

[E]

11.

[B]

It appears to you, looking around, you know, you have some experience in doing this kind of thing. Like you're at the bottom of a lake of some kind.

[E]

Oh.

[B]

And you look around and you see a couple of barrels on the bottom of the lake with something glistening in them.

[E]

I swim into the barrel and see what's up.

[B]

Yeah. Do you have any special ability to, like, hold your breath or to operate underwater?

[E]

It's not listed in my character sheet.

[B]

Okay. I just wanted to share if she had anything. So you swim over and you see four barrels that appear to be cracked. Like they've been down here and they've been worn for a bit. And like I said, there is glistening almost like the glistening of gold in them.

[E]

Oh, can I try and swim it up to the top one of them?

[B]

You mean like, carry one up to the top?

[E]

Yeah. Or is it too heavy?

[B]

The barrel make me a strength check.

[E]

5.

[B]

You try to lift it up, and it's just between the fact that it's partially embedded in the ground and all the weight of the water and whatever's in it, it just really doesn't budge.

[E]

I'll take my wafting warpick and smash the barrel.

[B]

Yeah. You take your pick out and you swing. You know, it's a little difficult to swing underwater, but you manage to swing your war pick and strike at the barrel, and it splinters open, revealing 61 gold pieces.

[E]

I guess I'll take them if I can.

[B]

Yeah. You reach out and start collecting the gold pieces. And this is when everyone else kind of enters the bottom of the lake as well, one after the other. You jumped in first with a little bit of lead.

[E]

Time.

[B]

So give you a little bit of time there, Gunther. The other three of you also emerge. All of you. When you emerge, you feel a little queasy. You're kind of turned around, and you're at the bottom of this body of water. You look around, and you see Gunther smashing open a barrel, starting to pick up gold pieces. But Gunther, as you're collecting, collecting these gold pieces, something's weird about them. They change.

[E]

Oh.

[B]

All of a sudden, you're surrounded by a school of fish. Like, you thought they were gold pieces, but it's actually they're goldfish, small fish. And they begin swimming around you very quickly, pecking at you.

[E]

I'm going to try and swim up and get out. Yeah.

[B]

You swim up to the surface. Yeah. From the other perspective of you other three, you see Gunther being followed by a school of. Of fish that are, like, swimming around him. And he's swimming up to the surface.

[D]

Oh, Gunther's making friends. Making fritters.

[A]

Yeah. Natty would start swimming up to the surface. Same with Doug. And taking Gigi with her.

[F]

And Doug. Right. Well, my name is.

[A]

And taking Doug. And Gigi would grab Doug.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

Thank you.

[D]

Could to take the barrel, not smash it open and take it to the top. He can breathe underwater because I have stormsall.

[A]

I wonder if the gold.

[D]

I wouldn't know that the goldfish turned

[A]

from gold to goldfish.

[B]

Yeah. You want to go over and try to pick one up? May I make a strength check?

[E]

Sure.

[B]

Ooh.

[D]

19.

[B]

And make me a perception check as well.

[A]

6.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

It's really heavy, but you manage to heave up and pull one of the barrels out from the floor of this lake and carry it up to the straight line. You reconvene. Everyone will say is on the shore there. Gunther, you manage to eventually escape your newfound friends.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Hey, gang, I found some loot.

[B]

Gunther, make me a perception check.

[E]

Okay. Thirteen.

[B]

You think you're missing some gold.

[E]

Oh.

[B]

You're missing 61 pieces of gold.

[A]

Oh.

[E]

Clever gur fishies.

[F]

Clever gur fishies.

[B]

Tolf. You managed to pull your barrel out to the surface, and it's it's filled

[E]

with gold to be careful. That is not gold. It is goldfish, and they will steal from you.

[D]

Okay, can I take one piece of gold out? I mean, it's in a barrel, so they're kind of, you know, fish in a barrel. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah. You take a piece of gold out.

[D]

Okay. Put it in my pocket.

[B]

Yep. You got add one piece of gold to your inventory.

[D]

Seems fine to me. I don't know what you're freaking out about, little guy.

[E]

Well, be careful in the water.

[D]

Oh, so maybe when I go back into the water, that's when. Okay. Then I wade out back into the water with my new gold piece.

[B]

Yeah, there's gold.

[D]

Okay, great. Nothing wrong here. Everybody load up on gold. How much? How much gold is it? 40 something.

[B]

46.

[D]

46 divided by 4. It's me scrambling for a calculator.

[A]

You don't need a calculator for that.

[E]

What?

[D]

11.5. So everybody gets 11 gold pieces.

[F]

They'll round it up to 12 if you want. For some of us.

[D]

I was gonna give the rest to Giggy.

[A]

You know, I'll take 11.

[F]

I'll take 11, too.

[E]

Thank you very, very much.

[C]

Well, Natty needs more than most of us.

[A]

No, now he doesn't need any. Y' all keep misconstruing Natty's lack of need of monetary wealth, as Natty has a gambling problem.

[D]

Listen, you haven't been. You haven't been to the clubs in a while. You haven't done your circuit. You haven't been in any shows recently. I know work is hard right now.

[A]

So we're on the shores of Chimera Lake.

[B]

You find yourselves on the shore of a forested lake with the scent of cedar in the air. You hear distant singing. And this lake appears to be a pristine lake of freshwater fish. There's fog that lingers at the top of tall evergreen trees on either side of the lake to the west and the east, and a rocky, rushing river mouth to the north that feeds into this lake.

[A]

Where's the keep?

[B]

I don't know. Maybe you're still in the keep. Maybe not.

[A]

Ceiling. Tell me about a ceiling. Is there a ceiling or is there a sky?

[B]

Yeah, there's a sky. Well, you look up, actually, and you see fog at the top of the tall evergreen trees.

[C]

Okay, so we're outside.

[A]

So which would it be accurate in saying? That fog is kind of limiting our.

[B]

Your line of sight?

[C]

Visibility.

[A]

Visibility, yeah, but is that what it is? Like, we can't quite see the edge

[B]

it's hard to see. The fog is lingering at the tops of the trees.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It appears like it down to the southeast. You see descending stone steps.

[A]

Descending as in the steps go down?

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Into the ground?

[B]

It's hard to say. Well, like they descended to the distance. Yeah. Like they don't go underground.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's like descending off into the distance.

[A]

Yeah, the perspective goes off and you can't see where they're going.

[B]

Correct. Yeah. I didn't realize you meant like underground. It's just a communication. People talk different.

[A]

Last question. Really quick. Singing. What direction?

[B]

Make a investigation.

[A]

Check plus one. So that's nine.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

It seems like it's coming somewhere from the treetops. It's really hard to make out. It's almost like a kind of echoing around.

[E]

I say we climb the tree, see where we are.

[A]

What if there's birds up there?

[E]

Then we are better in their house.

[A]

You know, I don't know what that sentence meant.

[D]

Like, I don't know what that means. Could you break that down for me?

[E]

Google where we are better, where we're in their territory and they have to defend themselves. We could push eggs.

[D]

I mean, they have home field advantage though, wouldn't you say?

[E]

No, they have home field advantage where they can dive from trees.

[B]

With a loud crack, one of the trees starts falling near you guys. Everyone make a dexterity saving throw. Oh, my God, it's gonna crush you.

[D]

Dirty.

[A]

20.

[E]

15.

[F]

11.

[E]

I'm glad we didn't climb that one.

[D]

18.

[B]

Yeah, you all managed to dive out of the way as a tree falls where the four of you were standing just moments before. And all four of you hear giggling in the distance.

[A]

Okay, Natty is gonna send Gigi after the giggling. Gigi, get those gigglers.

[B]

Make a giggy check. See if he listens to you.

[D]

Charlie's in the trees.

[E]

11.

[B]

That's good, right?

[A]

That's enough.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

It's over. 10.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Is that the giggy check?

[B]

Okay. Yeah. Giggy begins running into the distance.

[D]

You guys, there's something in those trees and it ain't no man.

[B]

The trees are, you know, pretty tall. They're like 60 foot tall cedar trees with bluish green leaves and reddish brown bark.

[E]

Do we see the end of them and what's. Or do they like kind of.

[B]

They have bluish gray droops and the fog that seems to linger at the top of the trees. And again, it sounds like singing or giggling. Gigi reaches the base of one of the trees and begins looking around, almost like sniffing the ground, trying to Find the source.

[E]

Okay. Gunther Climatry. The one that Gigi's looking at?

[B]

Yeah. You run up to the tree and begin trying to climb it. What is that an athletics check?

[E]

Athletics or acrobatics? I don't know.

[B]

Yeah, I'm kind of split. I feel like it could go either way. We'll do. I know it's better for you. So we'll do acrobatics.

[E]

Yes, thanks to your trap 13. And the way Gunther climbs, he uses his tongue as both a thing. He spits it out, laps the thing and uses it to help him climb. And also as a support so he can't fall.

[B]

That's pretty cool.

[E]

Wow.

[D]

Off brand Spider Man.

[B]

You begin climbing the tree without too much difficulty. And you make good progress going up to the top. And as you're climbing up in the tree, the singing seems to get louder and louder as the. Make me an Investigation check, Gunther.

[E]

13.

[B]

You get near the top and you think you see someone up there. You see what appears to be an old woman hiding behind the other side of the tree with her. Just her eyes peeking out, looking at you.

[C]

Humanoid.

[B]

Yeah, a humanoid looking woman.

[F]

Not.

[C]

Not so looking.

[E]

No.

[D]

Get down from that tree. Get down from that tree.

[E]

Can I gesture for the guys to follow?

[B]

Yeah. Describe the gesture to me.

[E]

Well, I'm holding on with one hand in my tongue. And then he goes. Oh, okay. So I'm going to. I'm going to point them and wave towards me. And then point up and then do make a little humanoid person with my fingers. Like two fingers down, two fingers up. Like.

[D]

Oh, he's playing charades. He's playing shreds. How many syllables?

[B]

You all see Gunther gesticulating bizarrely up in the tree.

[A]

Hey, Gunther, we can hear each other from this distance. If you wanted to tell us.

[F]

Yeah, Gunther, you could just tell us. Yeah.

[B]

His tongue. He's using his tongue.

[D]

We can still hear you with the tongue. Yeah, go ahead, go ahead.

[A]

He does also, Gus, he doesn't have to use his tongue. He has arms and legs.

[B]

Well, you described it that way.

[C]

He's just going like this.

[E]

There is a thinging woman.

[D]

There's a thinging woman, he says.

[F]

A singing woman.

[D]

What is she singing about?

[F]

Yeah, what does she look like?

[E]

Old.

[F]

Old.

[B]

She's got a checkered face and a toadstool body. Green with yellow polka dots. And she's wearing a jerkin made of felt.

[A]

How far is she from you, Gunther?

[B]

Pretty close, Gunther. 10ft, maybe.

[E]

Gunther. And gestures.

[B]

Five.

[E]

Five.

[A]

Okay. And point. Point the direction she is 55.

[D]

She's 55. 55 is not that old.

[E]

Gunther points up.

[D]

He says he's number one.

[A]

Natty shoots an eldritch blast that direction based off of his triangulation.

[E]

Oh.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Yeah, go ahead.

[A]

And this woman dropped a tree on us. Okay, shots fired.

[B]

Do you have to make a roll for that?

[A]

Yeah, an attack roll. 16 plus. Where's eldritch blasts? Plus seven. That's a 23.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, that hit.

[A]

Hey.

[D]

Out of kindness, because it is an old lady tolve will run to the

[A]

base of the tree to try to catch. Roll for damage.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Six force damage.

[B]

Gunther, to your horror, you see Natty pull out her finger pistols and shoot an eldritch blast. It sizzles through the air, flying really close to your face, impacting this frail old woman in the treetop, knocking her out of the tree.

[D]

I got it, I got it, I got it.

[B]

Cool. Make a. Make a dexterity saving throw.

[A]

Okay, we have a saying back where I come from. It goes Natty around and find out.

[D]

Rolled a one, but I saved it because I have advantage. So I rolled a 16.

[A]

The one would have been funnier.

[B]

That would have been really funny.

[D]

It would have been pretty funny. I wish I was just stuck to the one.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. She falls very rapidly towards the ground. Told you run to try to catch her. You stumble a little bit kicking a rock. But you quickly regain your composure and with a dive, you catch her before she's able to hit the ground. Oh, thank you, deary.

[D]

Of course, of course. Let me give you a hug, guys. I've got her.

[C]

I also hope we do not recast this character.

[D]

Why would you say that, Barbara?

[F]

Oh, you got essential beautiful voice. Even the way you speak is beautiful and very sing songy.

[D]

Melodic. Is that a word?

[F]

Melodic?

[B]

Yeah, Anything can be a word if you want it to.

[D]

Svizzle, drizzle, svizzle. Hey, yeah. Swizzle, drizzle.

[A]

Why'd you throw a tree at us?

[B]

That was my grandchildren.

[A]

The ones who. Who made the tree. Following us.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Oh, okay. Where are they at?

[B]

Somewhere safe.

[F]

Somewhere over the rainbow.

[A]

You jumpy. What's your name?

[B]

You can call me Grammy Fungus.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[A]

There's a cream for that.

[D]

Guys, I can't come into work today. I got the Grammy fungus.

[A]

Can I do something I've never done before?

[B]

Yeah, what do you want to do, John?

[A]

I'm going to use my auto harp.

[C]

Heck yeah.

[A]

I have. I've had this new autoharp for so long and I've not Used the abilities, and it makes me sad every time I read through it. Instead of just straight up intimidation, Natty's gonna play use the action. Famous fable, which basically allows me to kind of do, like, a bardic thing, and I can invent something that an NPC has heard about us or me.

[D]

This is an interesting ability.

[A]

Okay, you might have to confer with Micah on the exact mechanics of how this succeeds or fails, because that's the end of it. Other than it gives an example of what this can be. But Natty plays a song that tells the tale of the four, the five, the six travelers.

[F]

Eight.

[E]

Six.

[D]

No, no, no, no. Gambak. Seven travelers and Rosalberry.

[E]

Who.

[A]

Those who treat them with kindness find fortune in their future. And those who treat them with malice, especially with trees, are cursed forever.

[B]

Okay, so, yeah, go ahead and invent the. The scenario. Yeah. I mean, just what would that be?

[A]

You mean you want me to make up a song right now like, I'm Wayne Brady?

[D]

Yeah. Sing the song.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

What's that like to come up with the song on the fly? While playing D and D, there was

[A]

a tale of seven chaps. They never needed any naps. Treat them fair or you'll get woe. They always fight and win their foe. That's it. That's all I'm giving you.

[B]

I like the incorporation of woe from augury into your famous fable.

[A]

No, it was more just John said a sentence and then made later. John figure out how to rhyme that sentence.

[C]

That's all I did with Bart.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

Start with one, and then you'll see where it goes.

[A]

Yeah, you'll know where the next railroad track goes if you just put down one.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I kind of want to play a bard next campaign because this is. This sounds terrible.

[E]

I love it.

[C]

Me nodding frantically. It's so fun. Bard's a great character.

[B]

Ooh, I have heard to treat you fairly fair travelers.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

Yeah, because of the song that he just sang.

[D]

Shut up.

[A]

So why don't you get your grandchildrens down here so we can talk to them and see what's going on here?

[F]

Grandchildrens?

[B]

From the treetops. You hear a chorus of voices saying, no, we don't think so.

[A]

You gonna get cursed. You gonna get cursed. Don't make me play the song again.

[B]

You can't find us.

[D]

I've got a very strong grip on Grammy fungus. Oh, my muscles are tensing and it's getting tired.

[A]

Sounds like the grease up deaf guy from Family Guy right now.

[D]

Do it.

[B]

You won't.

[D]

Are you beckoning Me to kill your Grammy Fungus. You need to have a talk with these grandchildren of yours.

[A]

Okay. Hey, Grammy, are we inside the keep right now still? Because if you couldn't tell by the fact that we're all drenched and dodging trees, we're a little lost, and we're on our way to complete a quest for a God.

[B]

Of course you are in Chimera Key.

[A]

Perfect. That's perfect. You got great pitch.

[B]

Wow.

[F]

Have you seen this guy?

[C]

And Doug does his impression of the Chimera again.

[B]

Yeah. Doug good at this. So, yeah, it's. It's a really. It's a really solid impression.

[C]

Once.

[B]

Oh, yes.

[A]

We have, like, a. We have, like, a shape shifter performer on the team. But I like. I like Doug being the Chimera. I like it.

[D]

He's doing interpretive dancing. It makes him feel good.

[A]

Yeah, it's great. He's got to express himself. It helps. It's healthy.

[F]

Exactly. To be the wings. Be the wings.

[A]

It's a manta. It's a manta ray.

[B]

The Santa. The sound of a manta ray.

[E]

Gunther's taking notes because he was so bad at it.

[C]

When you did the gnoll.

[E]

No, no. When I did the. Just trying to gesture with my hands in the tree.

[C]

Ah, yes.

[B]

Find the chimera. Continue climbing the key.

[A]

Y' all got stairs over there that seem to go down. Is there anywhere in this. We'll call it a room. That goes up.

[B]

Take the ridges to the north, west or east, either is fine.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

You mentioned earlier that they had, like, a toad body or something.

[B]

They were like, checkered body, checkered face, toadstool body. Green with yellow polka dots. Where's a jerkin made of felt? And speaking of our patrons [e-mail] this is an NPC that the community helped come up with. Micah over on our Discord. If that sounds like something fun or something you'd want to do, head over to steamdragonpod.com. one of the many features, one of the many benefits.

[A]

Okay. Well, how about you? How about you? You know, from one parental figure to another, you're doing a good job. Okay. I know it's hard. I know it's difficult, and it's just like you're just wrangling monsters. But you're doing a good job. I want to make sure you know that.

[D]

They told me I could kill her. They said nothing. They have no care for. For this woman whatsoever. She's better off coming with us.

[A]

Listen, you ever had a kid? No. You haven't? I'll answer for you, okay? And it's hard enough without people judging you because kids are gonna be kids. You know, you can't control them.

[E]

None of my kids have ever tried to kill me.

[D]

He has hundreds of them.

[A]

All kids are different, okay?

[B]

They don't mean that. They're just playing.

[D]

Hey, little kids, I'm going to break your Grammy fungus's neck. What are you saying say about that? We're not playing kill Grammy Fungus. I mean, this is an issue here.

[A]

All right, you know what? I've come full circle. I like those kids. Those are some good kids. Okay, you're doing a good. You're. I'm doubling down. You're doing a good job, Grammy Fungus.

[B]

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[D]

Crabby Fungus, I'm going to let you go. Best of luck. Cause I don't think you're good. I don't think you're long for this world.

[A]

Natty takes the 11 gold she just got and puts it in Grammy Fungus's hand and says, here, you need help?

[C]

Go buy herself something pretty.

[A]

Yeah, you need help.

[B]

Ooh, thank you. She takes the 11 gold pieces from you with her left hand. Then with her right hand she outstretches it in your direction. Natty and mushrooms begin growing out of her hand for you.

[F]

Psychedelic.

[A]

Like out of her hand. So I gotta pick them off her hand?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh yeah, that's cool. Oh, are these. What are these for? Decorative? Edible.

[E]

Are these children?

[A]

Are they like grenades?

[B]

They are what you make of them?

[A]

Oh good Lord woman.

[E]

Just tell her she's making you adopt her babies.

[B]

They are mush mushrooms.

[A]

I could. I could tell. Okay, Natty, how many do I get? Guys, how many mushrooms? Three. Okay, I got three. I'm pocketing the three mushrooms and I'm going to. I'm going to wait to use these mushrooms at the most opportune time possible.

[D]

Natty I have something like that too. When I hold out my mitten of

[B]

mushrooms, mushrooms begin sprouting from it. Their trumpet shaped mushrooms. They're green with yellow polka dots. They smell like your grandma Natty.

[A]

You don't know what my grandma smells like.

[B]

Well, these mushrooms do, apparently.

[A]

Are you my grammy?

[B]

No.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

All right, team. Well, we've got at least a destination or a direction or at least options to go west or east. She said just go up the ridge.

[B]

Let's go.

[F]

Okay. Up the ridge?

[D]

Yeah, let's get.

[A]

Oh, last question. Where did those stairs go?

[F]

Yeah, that's a good question.

[B]

Those stairs go to the lab.

[F]

Lab, Doug?

[A]

What kind of lab? My friend's a bit of a scientist here.

[E]

I'm a bit of a scientist.

[D]

My friend.

[B]

I don't know. Not mushrooms.

[A]

Boring. Well, team leader, where are we going?

[F]

I don't know if I could decide in this case. Maybe it's time for me to give up team leadership. I feel like I'm having decision paralysis. Too many decisions in too short of a period of time. Gunther.

[E]

What?

[F]

This seems like a job for you.

[A]

You're giving it back to Gunther. It's just going back and forth.

[D]

Wait, is.

[A]

You had it before?

[D]

No.

[F]

Never mind. Not Gunther.

[B]

Let's get into

[D]

me. Oh, I'm so unworthy of this position. Okay, let's go with that.

[B]

Grammy Fungus curtsies. And she goes back to the tree, and instead of climbing it back up with her head facing the sky, she. She almost, like, gets on the tree upside down with her head facing the ground and her feet towards the air. And she climbs up the tree backwards.

[E]

Weird.

[D]

Her kids start throwing pine cones and rocks at her.

[E]

Good luck.

[D]

I know you have decision paralysis, Doug, but do you need, like, restocking or anything for, like, lab equipment? Would you like to stop by? Because otherwise we could just keep going up. Chimera Key. But I do want to give you this opportunity.

[F]

I do feel just kind of guilty going, you know, to a place where just, you know, I. I'm interested in going. But if you guys are okay making a little pit stop in the lab,

[D]

I mean, I could.

[A]

I like a lab.

[F]

Okay.

[D]

We could find use in a lab. There could be, like, thermotech things.

[F]

Okay.

[D]

Gunther, is that cool with you?

[E]

Sure.

[D]

I. I am just as bad of a leader because I like to think democratically.

[E]

All right.

[D]

We're going to the lab. Bill.

[E]

Bill.

[D]

Bill.

[B]

The sign of a terrible leader. Listening to people.

[A]

It was more of a Bateman's world house, but, yeah, Bill Nye's good.

[F]

Doug. Doug.

[D]

Doug.

[F]

Doug. Doug. Doug Boone, the science guy.

[B]

You all descend the stone steps to the in the southeastern portion of the room. And they slowly continue descending. And eventually you find yourselves back in what appears to be what you would traditionally think of like, as a kid. Keep going back to your earlier questions, Natty. You find yourself in some kind of laboratory or workshop. It feels really humid in here. There's a cistern and a shelf with objects. Well, there's actually two shelves. There's a shelf of objects and a shelf of glass cylinders that seems to contain some kind of specimen.

[D]

Tolchex's shield. Is there any sign of Thaumatech technology?

[B]

You take a look at your shield, and it does not appear to be glowing.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

Oh, and the exits are of course, to the northwest where you just came from. And there appears to be a door to the south as well.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Hey, Doug, you wanna go check out that specimen?

[F]

I really do.

[A]

Okay, let's go over there.

[F]

Okay.

[C]

I'll go over there with Nadia. And in the process, Doug is already taking out his tools as if he's, like, gonna do science.

[A]

He's salivating a little bit.

[F]

You guys could just go on Ed without me, and I'll just be back

[B]

here with you, Doug and Natty, as you, you know, you step out through the archway that leads into this room. And as soon as you do, I want both of you two to make me dexterity. Saving throws.

[A]

Oh, 11 plus 3. 14.

[C]

12.

[B]

Seemingly out of nowhere, water rushes down from the archway, dousing the two of you, instantly turning you both into solid gold.

[C]

The golden rod in here not wanting us to do science. Is that what's on?

[D]

Going.

[C]

Going on?

[D]

Would Tolve be able to without touching them? Maybe using some sort of rope or something like that, pull them out of the water flow?

[B]

Let me read you a little bit of this description, and then I'll let you act on that, Tolv. So this archway, it's a gothic pointed archway that's bathed in a beam of light from above, and it's ornately carved stonework. And at the top, there's gilded glyphs that drip with condensation at the foot of these ascending stone stairs. So, yeah, you want to try to reach in and kind of pull him out of the water there, Tolf. Yeah.

[D]

Using some sort of instrument that I could easily drop. That way I don't myself get turned into gold.

[B]

Yeah. Gunther, make me a perception check.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

Oh, sorry, Gus. Five.

[B]

Five. Okay, Tol, you reach out and you begin trying to knock Natty and Doug out from the water and make me aim. Just make like a. Like an Unarmed strike, like a attack roll. Plus strength plus proficiency bonus.

[D]

Unarmed strike was a 16.

[B]

Okay, 16. Yeah. You're able to knock them out of the water. Which direction do you want to push them into the room or pull them back to. Towards you guys.

[D]

Pull them towards me.

[A]

Which is safety.

[B]

Yeah, you pull them back towards you. And once they're out of the water, the gold wears off and they reanimate gold. Where did your clothes go?

[D]

Oh, you guys are seeing Bjorn's birthday.

[C]

I was gonna ask, what are we seeing? Are we seeing Bjorn or are we seeing actual, like, full stomatic tolve?

[B]

You're seeing thaumatech tolve.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Sounds like his skin might constitute his.

[B]

Yeah. Clothes. It's gone.

[D]

My circuits. My motherboard. Look away.

[A]

Where'd they go?

[D]

Are those little frog toadstool people following us?

[A]

Not frogs.

[B]

You hear the voices come from behind you, from the room you just left.

[D]

Natty, shoot them with your Eldritch blast.

[A]

Quickly.

[D]

Murder. Kill on sight.

[E]

Death.

[B]

It's too big for us, but we're wearing it anyway.

[A]

Natty casts mage hand to go try to pull the clothes back.

[D]

So let me get this straight. There's someone, children, running around in Bjorn's skin?

[E]

No, they're all stacked up on top of each other like a trench coat, making a body.

[B]

Yeah, you don't see them right now. You just hear the voices, but presumably it could be either of those.

[A]

Okay, yeah, they're.

[E]

They're.

[B]

The voices are just coming from somewhere in that other room. Up. Up the stairs.

[A]

Listen, we gotta go back that way. Well, maybe we don't, but we do. Let's. We'll go get the skin later, okay? Okay. Okay. Promise. We're not gonna leave this keeper without that skin.

[D]

Hey, my eyes are up here. Okay.

[A]

Hey, I have to ask a question. Did you shave his butt? Is that what you did? You have to shave the whole area?

[D]

Who? Bjorns?

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

I mean, yeah, it's for part of the preservation. You know, keep moisturized. Yeah, he often got complimented for his booty, so I want to honor him.

[B]

Doug, make me a perception check.

[C]

15.

[B]

You think that there's something about that beam of light in the archway that triggered the trap? You think if you avoid the beam of light that it would not trigger the water to fall on you?

[C]

Am I close enough where everyone could hear me if I told them that

[B]

you're right next to them? Pulled you back on that side.

[F]

Okay, guys, just avoid that beam of light. I think that's what's causing this horizontal,

[A]

vertical beam of light.

[B]

Vertical.

[A]

Vertical. Okay, so we seem to, like, kind of shimmy past it.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, then we shimmy past it, I

[B]

assume, Doug, you resume your walking over to the shelf, you and Natty.

[C]

Yes, please. Avoiding that beam of light, Natty has

[A]

also changed her visage to have a lab coat on.

[B]

Ooh, nice. You'd look around the shelf, and it appears to be a wooden shelf of plants and animals kept in glass cylinders. There's some gold idols, some living. You take a look at a few.

[A]

You think they've been testing, turning living things into gold in here?

[F]

Well, I mean, if you look at the. I feel like they'll be testing a lot of stuff. I mean, the chimera is definitely a culmination of a bunch of different animals and potentially even objects with the way its tail looked with all the mirror pieces. So I don't know. There's. There's got to be some experimentation happening here, guys.

[D]

You think they dissect frogs in here?

[E]

Oh, goodness. No. Hope. Hope not.

[B]

Gunther starts throwing.

[C]

But, yeah, I definitely would like to take a look.

[B]

Yeah, you take a look at one of the specimens, and it's a miniature sunflower in a glass vial.

[C]

Oh, hey, Gunther, could Doug pick it up and show it to Gunther and

[F]

say, by any chance, does this look like the Wilder flower?

[E]

Does it. No. No.

[F]

Okay, never mind.

[D]

I just.

[F]

Maybe it's a little insensitive of me to assume flowers look like other flowers and, you know, the wilderflower.

[A]

Doug has flower blindness.

[D]

It's a rare and in serious condition.

[B]

Everybody, you take a look at another one. And in another specimen jar, you see what appears to be a solid gold Toadstool.

[A]

Toadstool. Blaine. Toadstool.

[D]

It's one of Gunther's family. It's in the name Toadstool.

[E]

It's a stool sample. We should not touch it.

[C]

I knew someone was gonna make a poop joke. I just wanted to quickly ask if the. I don't know if I'd be able to tell this, but is it like the. The way the toadstool looks Gold? Does it look like the same type of liquid gold that was pouring on us? Like, can I tell if it's the same kind of consistency?

[B]

Well, it was water that poured on you that turned you into gold, so.

[C]

Right. I guess that's.

[B]

Yeah. This just appears to be, from what you can tell, solid gold.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Do you think they're trying to synthesize the Wilderflower, like, make a fake one or something?

[A]

Well, there's also toads There's a mushroom. There's willow flowers. Not a mushroom. Yeah, well, the sunflower and they said. And there's also animals.

[F]

I think it's just a bunch of stuff maybe from that they found in nature and outside and stuff like that.

[A]

I see.

[B]

Make it an investigation check, Doug.

[A]

Yes, please, Mr. Investigation. Oh, come on.

[F]

Oh, six.

[A]

Hey, Natty's there, too. Can Natty investigate?

[E]

Sure.

[A]

Okay. It's not gonna be much better. It's a seven,

[C]

but combined. That's all right.

[A]

Rolling for Gigi. Let's see. Gigi rolled an 18. So what did Gigi see?

[B]

Gigi sees some grandchildren wearing tolve skin. They're all still standing on top of each other. There's like three tall. It's like three little kids in a trench coat pretending to be an adult.

[A]

No, I think you're wrong there, Gus. Nanny looks and Gigi's on top of them and has made them four people.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. Gigi has joined into the conga line. Now, as you're putting the gold toadstool back on the shelf, Doug, your hand bumps into something else on the shelf and knocks it over. And it falls to the ground. And you see that it was a bent piece of green armor plate. It seemed like it was floating in the air when your hand hit it. And then as soon as your hand bumped into it, it fell to the ground with a loud clatter.

[E]

Does this look recognizable to any of us, Doug?

[B]

You gonna share it with the group? Yeah, Doug, you find it and you turn around with it and you show it to everyone. And, Gunther, you recognize it? It's a green plate armor that's only crafted in fly flats.

[C]

Is that. That's where he's from?

[E]

Yeah. This is armor of my people.

[D]

Does it belong to Bun Lab? Maybe he left it behind.

[E]

It very well could be.

[F]

So can you tell if there was, like, room enough room, like, for his muscles and stuff like that? Like, if this is the actual piece?

[D]

I smell it. Does it still smell like him?

[F]

I'll check.

[C]

I'll check.

[B]

You made me do an actual spit take, Barbara.

[C]

Sorry.

[E]

Could be that he outgrew it because of muscle and that's why it's discarded.

[D]

Oh, no. What a problem.

[A]

It was floating.

[B]

Yeah, it was just, like, floating above the shelf and then clattered to the ground once it was bumped into.

[A]

Is there other pieces floating?

[B]

Not that.

[E]

You see, I put something right where that was to see if there was something making it floating or if the armor is, you know, like. If it's like a little Floating pad.

[B]

Yeah. You put something there and it just sits on the shelf unmoving.

[D]

Maybe if you try equipping it, you can figure out, like it gives you some sort of benefit or something. You won't fit in it, you won't play. Won't look as good as you. As it will on Bundlap.

[E]

Is it a full thing of armor or like just a little piece.

[B]

Just a piece of. Of plate. A platelet, to be specific.

[D]

Could.

[A]

Natty, when we came in here and saw that stuff, the thought in my head is, look for notes to see if there's signs of whose lab this is. Because we have thus far not. I think we've met somebody that strikes me as a lab tech.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, you look around and, you know, you re. Examine the room and you can. You see, you know, the cistern, the shelf of objects and the shelf of the glass cylinders, the specimens which you are at, but nothing that seems to really denote who owns it or who it belongs to. Weird.

[A]

But there's a door to the south.

[B]

Yes. And then there's the archway to the northwest which you all came through. And then a door to the south.

[A]

Open or close?

[B]

It's currently closed.

[A]

Door handle?

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Phew.

[A]

Just to see if it's a closet. Natty opens the door, you open it up.

[B]

And on the other side, you see a dark and drafty corridor with a collapsed floor. It's about a sheer drop into maybe some kind of tunnel. Then across the collapsed corridor on the other side. You kind of get the faint smell of wine from the other side.

[E]

Is that where we fell through from the beginning?

[B]

No, that was outside.

[A]

Okay. Okay, that's us.

[F]

Okay.

[A]

Because we've now actually gone up.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And so then you came back down.

[A]

And then we came down.

[D]

So do we want to leave the lab and then go up the staircase that Grammy fungus told us to go to?

[A]

Yeah, we can go either way. We can either venture further or retrace and go up the thingies.

[C]

Have we quite figured out what they're actually trying to do here?

[D]

I don't know if all of the pieces to the puzzle are here.

[A]

It's your job.

[F]

Oh, God. I need to spend much more time in here researching. I mean, I need a proper sample size and I need evidence, you know,

[D]

Is there anything that we missed? Bjorn takes a passive look around the lab. Is there anything else that we missed? Sorry, I'm thinking about. They're playing weekend at Bjorny's over there with my father's skin.

[B]

Nice. Take an inspiration.

[C]

Diaplane we can have bjornies.

[A]

I think that feels like you might have been holding on to that one for a while.

[D]

No, man. Improv. Just like.

[A]

Good.

[C]

Good job of the noggin.

[A]

That's what you get when you listen to Tales from sneaky dragon. Top notch improv quality.

[B]

Just as a reminder, you all, at one point, did open a door to a corridor from a room that smelled like wine.

[D]

I was going to say we. And there was. It was we described or it was like, described as, like, a dark, kind of musty.

[B]

Correct. Right. When you all were in the banquet hall, you opened the door, you didn't end up going through, but there was a collapsed floor there. And that room, the banquet hall, did smell of wine.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So the logical leap would be that this eventually connects back to the banquet hall somewhere, maybe.

[D]

Which is good because this was, I think, the place that Doug originally was going to say before we decided to go up the water slide. So, like, that loop is closed. I feel comfortable to move on.

[A]

No, it's not. No, no, because he's talking about when we were down with Claudia.

[C]

Claudia.

[A]

And then went into that room with, like, the turnstile and the. The bridge with the frozen water. And then we went into the room with the banquet hall with. I drew things with horns. I think they had, like. They had, like, little pincers.

[B]

Undarians in there.

[E]

Yeah. This is where the undarians went up, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They. They went through that door.

[A]

Correct. To go and follow Natty's persuasion. So we've closed that loop, but we can still go back out through the archway and go up the ridge the way that granny fungus told us to go.

[D]

Well, now you presented another thing, though. We could go get Claudia. I mean.

[F]

No.

[D]

All right, let's. Okay. All right. Kangaroo, first and foremost, I'm taking that skin back. Very offensive. Imagine that. I, like, paraded your grammy fungus around and was like, ooh, you wouldn't like that.

[A]

They wouldn't care to. They told you to kill their granny.

[B]

They might be into that.

[D]

Okay, bad example, But I'm taking that back.

[E]

Shoo.

[D]

So we're gonna take the Bjorn skin back. We're gonna go back outside. We're gonna go up the stairs that grammy fungus recommended.

[B]

Okay. You turn around to leave the room, and all four of you make me a. Hmm. Let's call it a perception check.

[A]

Ooh. 19 plus 3, 22.

[F]

A natch.

[D]

12, 7, 5.

[A]

We're gonna be releasing dice, and we want to release a 12 set. And all the dice are 12.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

It's just seven dice of 12.

[B]

As you're walking out of the room, say Doug and Natty, you take a look at the cistern, which is a three by three foot underground kind of container of water. It's filled with steaming water, and you see a golden mosaic tiled interior.

[C]

Do you think, is this the place where the goldenrod probably resides?

[A]

Well, I betcha it's a. I betcha the water is the same kind of water that turns things gold.

[C]

Mm, potentially.

[B]

Potentially.

[A]

Maybe.

[F]

Let's test it out.

[A]

Natty grabs, like, a. Like a. One of those gold vials that you said are, like, somewhere and, like, dips it in the water.

[B]

Do you pick the sunflower or something else? Or the whole vial?

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Give me that sunflower.

[B]

Okay, so you take the sunflower out of the vial and dip it in the water.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You dip the sunflower in the water, and the sunflower transmutes and turns into solid gold.

[A]

Okay, so this is the lab where they make this water that has magical Midas abilities.

[D]

So I. What I want. I wonder what the point of this is. I wonder if it's supposed to be for the goldenrod to get more gold. I don't know.

[A]

I mean. Yeah. I mean, it probably is just part of their shtick a little bit, because they just used it to dump on.

[B]

On Doug, as you're looking, you know, in the. In the cistern and dipping the sunflower, you. You know, you take. Your eyes are invariably drawn towards that mosaic. And you see the mosaic depicts a Venn diagram of symbolic. An empty circle overlapping with a golden circle and with a water droplet in the middle. And you see a solid gold plug at the bottom of the cistern connected to a chain.

[A]

Yeah. Natty pulls that chain.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

Nothing could go wrong, right?

[A]

Yeah. He said there's a chain attached to some. So I'm gonna pull it. But watch is where the water's gonna pull out. Like, it ain't gonna be landing on my feet or anything.

[B]

You reach into the water to pull on the drain.

[D]

Oh, yes.

[A]

The chain was inside the thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is there something I could do to not have my hand in the water?

[B]

You tell me.

[A]

Is there a glove around?

[B]

There's a mitten of mushrooms.

[A]

Well, Natty wears gloves and a full clothes, like a full sleeve shirt. So could I just do that? Sure.

[B]

You try to protect your hand, and you reach in and pull down the chain that's connected to the plug, and it pops out, and the water begins very rapidly draining out of the cistern,

[D]

and the toilet is flushed. The Poopy goes down the stool sample.

[B]

The tiles shift, revealing something in the water. It reveals something that's in there. It seems almost like a secret room that was not visible before. What?

[F]

What secret room?

[E]

Like a painting?

[C]

Like maybe a portal type thing? Because it seems like those act as portals.

[A]

Maybe.

[F]

Should we.

[A]

Okay.

[F]

Go in there?

[A]

Cistern's big enough for bodies to pass through.

[B]

Yeah, it's like three by three. Okay, three feet by three feet.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Nanny floats down.

[B]

Yeah, well, you don't have. Oh, you do. I was confused because of the liquid.

[C]

Yeah, we all float down here.

[B]

You hop in there, entering this previously unseen room. And as soon as you enter, you have a soothing feeling of calm and safety. There's plush floor cushions around a harsh with a fire with metal drainage pipes and a lever connected to a chain.

[A]

Metal drainage pipes and a lever connected to a chain.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Getting a lot of plumbing in this episode.

[C]

Do we see where the chain is going to? Like the lever with the chain?

[B]

You. You're cut. You're mechanically minded, Doug, so you would probably be able to ascertain this. You suspect, you hypothesize as it were that pulling.

[A]

Theorize.

[B]

You theorize that pulling the lever will most, most likely close the ceiling up again, making this room secret and hidden once more.

[F]

Okay, well, now that we're all in here, should we close this back up just in case, you know, Snow could get to jump on us?

[A]

Sure, sure, sure. Yeah. I mean, what could go wrong? Us not be able to open it again and be stuck in this room forever.

[D]

We get trapped forever. You guys are organics. You run out of oxygen, die. I live on for forever, surrounded by the corpses of my friends. What's the worst that could happen?

[F]

Well, we'll figure it out.

[A]

I feel like this is a fear you've been holding on to.

[D]

Oh, no, that's crazy. You know, you're trapped underwater and you think about these thoughts all the time. Every day, just walking, no oxygen, death everywhere, death all the time.

[F]

Well, then what if I just left it cracked a little bit?

[D]

I think that's a good idea.

[C]

Could I like pull it and so it's like it doesn't katunk all the way closed, but like lose a little or is it all or nothing kind of thing.

[B]

It seems like it's an all or nothing thing. Like pulling it is going to activate it. And that's not like it activates something that proceeds. It's not like you're one to one pulling the lever and activating the tiles.

[A]

Well, let's all right, everybody in search the room mode. Olly, Ollie, Oxenfree, if you see something,

[F]

I'll leave it open for now, but if we want to close it at any point, I'll run over and. And crank the lever.

[B]

Okay, so you leave it. Leaving it open for now.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

I'll do my things. That I did. That looks for secret stuff.

[B]

The whatchamacallit things.

[C]

What's it called?

[D]

So what is listed in ddb?

[C]

I. I. Whatchamacallit thing. Yeah. You don't have that on your character sheet.

[B]

Everyone should have that.

[E]

It's the.

[B]

Where is it? Whatchamacallit.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

Octopot of obscura.

[B]

There it is. Ooh, yeah. You pour out a little bit of the octopot. You got to make, like, a roll on that, right?

[D]

Oh, we have that rule thing where it kind of governs how what our inventory is three.

[E]

Do I keep it?

[B]

I think it was 2D6. You roll at this point, isn't it?

[E]

Oh, that's right.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Does that recharge per rest, or is it, like, once it's out is out.

[E]

Yeah, for like, a long rest.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

And then a two.

[B]

Yeah. Both of those drop. So you have no die left until your next long rest.

[D]

Hopefully you find something really cool.

[B]

Yeah. You pour out the octopot, and it flows towards something secret or hidden. I mean, you're in a secret room. It flows around, and it goes to the border of the room and flows all around the corners of the border of the room.

[D]

You found it, Gunther.

[E]

I have the worst attorneys.

[A]

Natty would go over to the hearth.

[C]

Oh, good idea.

[B]

You go over.

[A]

Ooh.

[B]

Nice and warm.

[A]

And would sit down and enjoy it.

[E]

Ah.

[B]

Feels really invigorating, really relaxing.

[C]

Could Doug look around the room and see if there's any, like, mirrors or paintings or, like, anything shiny? I know that's, like, three different things, but it's.

[B]

I'll give it to you, like, same. Same general vibe.

[C]

Yeah. In the decor section.

[B]

Yeah. You. You look around, and there is nothing like that. Even the drainage. The closest would be the drainage pipes, which are metal, but they're not lustrous. They don't shine, I guess. Same thing with the chain, but it's, like, a dull metal.

[F]

Well, at least we're safe from the chimera rod here. That's, you know, point one for this room.

[A]

That's the thing we're trying to find, though.

[F]

It's true. But it can't get the jump on us, you know?

[A]

Okay. Okay. Unless it comes down into this hole and we're trapped in here with the Chimera.

[F]

Yeah, but then it can't escape, so at least we get to jump on it.

[A]

You know, you are a glass half full gentleman and I cheer you on for it. Does anything happen to Natty as Natty is enjoying the hearth like I don't know, levels up or something.

[B]

Levels up.

[C]

All my health is back. All my soul.

[A]

I mean I have all my health. I only dropped 10 points. And then we short rested.

[B]

Yeah, no, it just feels good. You feel like a sense of calm comes over you. Like you could really unwind and let your hair down as it were here.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

And then an infernus pops up out

[A]

of the fire of the heart.

[E]

Is there anything else we could.

[D]

We could get into a pillow fight that he mentioned there was pillows.

[A]

Natty throws a pillow at Tolv.

[D]

Oh hehe. Now you Captain grumbles.

[B]

So like meta wise, it's like a. Since it's like a secret room. It's a room you could take a short rest or a long rest if you wanted to without risk being discovered since you're kind of hidden here.

[D]

So we just found kind of a safe spot then.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Well, I mean, does it seem like someone has been in this room recently? Yeah.

[B]

You take a look around and you see like a sticky pouch in one of the corners of the room under a cushion.

[F]

Let me pick it up, see what it is.

[A]

What's a sticky pouch?

[B]

It's like a pouch, but it's like sticky on it. Think of it like a pouch that an adventurer would carry. But it's sticky.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

You open it up, take a look and inside you see freeze dried flies.

[F]

Wait, could I hold it up and

[C]

show Gunther and ask if he recognizes this or if he knows Bunlap has had this before.

[E]

Oh, it looks delicious.

[F]

Well, like. Okay. I don't know how long these have been sitting here, but is this bun laps? Have you seen him wear this before?

[E]

Yes, and freeze dried is a way to preserve them and take them on long trips.

[F]

Well, if he wouldn't mind you eating the rest of his snackies, then I think you could go.

[B]

I would mind him eating the rest of my snackies.

[A]

What?

[D]

Oh, is that.

[E]

Boys.

[B]

You look up and see a very handsome. His muscles glistening with sweat. Looking down from the still propped open door. Need to fan myself off.

[A]

Nanny got startled too much and shoots him with an eldritch flask.

[C]

No, no, no.

[B]

Save some of those for me.

[D]

Mr. Mr. Bunlap. Mr. Bunlap. Sir, it's so good to see you. I thought we would.

[E]

Wow.

[D]

How are you doing?

[B]

Find out how Bunlap is doing in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

[A]

Oh, the worst cliffhanger ever. We need to to know.

[C]

I like the the imagery of him coming in shirtless, glistening with sweat while we're in this like luxurious room with a fireplace going and to just be

[B]

like let's, let's see some fan art in Discord over@stinky dragonpod.com of the romance novel.

[E]

Somehow he has long hair.

[D]

Froggio. Frog. It's a frog.

[B]

Fabio.

[C]

That's great.

[B]

Summer is hot, but what's even hotter is our Patreon and we what's even hotter than that is our Patreon. With memberships at 20% off, get all our content ad free, tons of bonus shows and podcasts and access to our Discord by becoming a member of our party. All memberships, both monthly and annual, are available for 20% off using code Summer Stink. All one word, all uppercase. That's S u M M E R S T I n k@stinky dragonpod.com Join our Patreon for 20% off. Any and all member steps is only available for the month of July, so join our party and kick off your summer with us. New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever your streams the podcast flow and on The Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Tired of waiting for the next adventure and looking for a quest? Join the ranks of our Stinky Dragon [e-mail] Get early access to episodes and unlock a horde of exclusive treasures and powerful artifacts. For example, every one of our patrons gets all our shows ad free and they even get the main podcast to hold hole two days earlier than everyone else, which is like shield and Chronomancy spells at the same time without burning any spell slots. Now that's value. You can also receive a coveted shout out on the show, just like Melissa Raymond Little Foliage Patch. Took me a while to parse that one, but I got there. Dirty Thief with a three for an E and Dirted Lay or Dirturdly Dirt dir. Dirted Dirted Lay. That's what I'm going with. These pungent patrons directly support the show and get access to all of these perks and more on our Patreon. Stop missing out on the adventure. Become a patron [e-mail] Some NPCs were named after patrons from our Stinky Dragon Discord and some of Our friends provided voices in this tale, including the Goldenrod, voiced by Christian Young. Grammy Fungus created with the help of Stinky Dragon patrons, voiced by me, Gus and Bunlap, voiced by Devin Finn. Devin Carotherothers. This week's our question was submitted by Algae or algae, One of those two. This episode of Tales from Stinky Dragon is produced by Ben Ernst and Micah Risinger. Written and composed by Micah Reisinger. Edited by Elena lkorchic. Join us in the tavern next time for another aromatic adventure of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. It's a room. You could take a short rest or a long rest if you wanted to without risk being discovered since you're kind of hidden here.

[E]

Oh, oh.

[A]

So is there like a table with med packs and with ammo?

[B]

Bandages, Syringes? Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Bandages. Yeah. Pills here? Pills here. Thank you.

[B]

You got the green plant, you got the red plant.

[D]

So we just found kind of a safe spot.

[C]

I guess so.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Does it seem like someone has, like been in this room recently? Like it? Like, is there a hot cup of tea or a lit cigarette?

[A]

A lot of cigarettes.

[D]

In our story, Grammy Fungus was taking a smoke break from the.

[A]

Yeah. How to get away from them kids.

[C]

She goes in there, immediately is like, I'm so sick of this singing. The grill is shot. The chairs are held together by optimism. And what happened to the rug? Sounds like your outdoor setup is not ready for patio season. Fix it all with Wayfair. Shop Wayfair for grills, rugs, furniture and more. With 20 million 5 star reviews, room of choice delivery and expert setup on qualifying orders, it's never been easier to do more for less. Get 10% off your first eligible purchase. Hurry to Wayfair.com or download the app now. Wayfair Every style Every home.

[B]

Athletic Brewing Co. Crafts Award winning non alcoholic beers for those who want to be part of every round. With over 185 flavor awards, they're exceptional NA beers that fit your lifestyle and any social occasion. Summer's full of good times and athletic fits right in.

[E]

Go to athleticbrewing.com to have brews delivered

[B]

to your door or find them at

[D]

a bar, restaurant or store near you.

[B]

Near Beer Athletic Brewing Co.

[E]

Fit for all times.