FEED DROP: Introducing The Re-Slayer’s Take! Critical Role’s new, all ages, actual play podcast

Summary

Tales from the Stinky Dragon: Episode Summary Episode Title: FEED DROP: Introducing The Re-Slayer’s Take! Critical Role’s new, all ages, actual play podcast
Release Date: October 23, 2024
Host/Author: Stinky Dragon

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Introduction and Partnership Announcement [02:00 - 03:03]

In this episode, Hera Agnihart kickstarts the adventure by announcing a new partnership with Critical Role Productions. This collaboration introduces a fresh, all-ages actual-play podcast titled "The Re-Slayer’s Take", set in the vibrant fantasy world of Exandria. Hera highlights the show's focus on six misfit mercenaries who unite to combat supernatural threats emerging in the wild continent of Isilra. She introduces the key players behind this new venture:

Hera Agnihart [02:00]: "We recently partnered up with the folks over at Critical Role to put Tales from the Stinky Dragon and our bonus show second Win on the platform Beacon TV."

The segment sets the stage for the episode's main content, blending immersive storytelling with partnership highlights.

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Market Day in Himblewood [03:03 - 16:49]

The narrative delves into the bustling town of Himblewood within the Vesper Timberland, showcasing its vibrant monthly market. The woodland setting is brought to life with detailed descriptions of colorful tents, enticing aromas, and lively street performances. Central to the story are four travelers—Frog, Farah, Idrin Shadowstep, and Hera Agnihart—each with unique personalities and backgrounds.

Character Introductions and Interactions:

• Frog is depicted as a towering, metallic humanoid with a penchant for documenting her discoveries in a cherished journal.
• Farah, a half-elven woman, exudes strength and a deep sense of duty, evident in her interactions.
• Idrin Shadowstep, a half-orc, half-elf, showcases a blend of mysticism and practicality.
• Poogs, a charismatic goblin, adds a layer of intrigue with his backstory and quirks.

A notable interaction occurs when Idrin engages with Gumgum, a local fishmonger, leading to a humorous exchange about an elusive fish named Old Bertha:

Gumgum [09:02]: "Ay, you're eying Old Bertha, is ya?"
Idrin Shadowstep [09:53]: "I must say, you are one of the strangest people I have ever met."

This dialogue not only adds humor but also deepens character development, highlighting their unique traits and relationships.

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Recruitment for the Slayer's Take [16:49 - 35:28]

As midday approaches, the protagonists discover a recruitment booth for the Slayer's Take, an elite group of monster hunters. Timpani Guff, a seasoned and somewhat overbearing member of the Slayer's Take, spearheads the recruitment drive. The scene is set with a community gathering, complete with presentations and challenges to test the courage and skills of potential recruits.

Key Moments:

• Poogs orchestrates subtle manipulations to secure spots for his allies, demonstrating his cunning nature.
• Hera and Idrin navigate the recruitment process, showcasing their motivations and combat readiness.
• Frog meticulously documents every detail, emphasizing her analytical mindset.

A significant highlight is the communal acceptance of the new members after successfully handling a crisis orchestrated during the recruitment:

Hera Agnihart [42:36]: "Let's give it up for the four newest members of the Slayer's Take."

This moment signifies the culmination of their efforts and the beginning of their journey as official members of the Slayer's Take.

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The Gelatinous Cube Incident [35:28 - 43:47]

The heart of the episode revolves around an unexpected attack by a gelatinous cube unleashed during the recruitment presentation. Timpani Guff attempts to demonstrate the dangers the Slayer's Take faces, inadvertently causing chaos when the cube breaks free from its containment.

Battle Highlights:

• Idrin employs his magical prowess, casting Scorching Ray to fend off the creature:

  Idrin Shadowstep [34:35]: "And then the sun itself starts to manifest and glow as he chants a few words in Elvish."

• Frog utilizes her combat skills, delivering a series of powerful strikes:

  Frog [35:45]: "31 damage."

• Farah exhibits agility and precision with her rapier, effectively piercing the cube:

  Farah [37:21]: "15 damage."

• Hera demonstrates tactical acumen by slicing the cube in half, neutralizing the immediate threat:

  Hera Agnihart [41:55]: "She slices this now orb-like cube in half cleanly through the middle."

Throughout the confrontation, teamwork and quick thinking enable the group to manage and ultimately defeat the gelatinous cube, earning them admiration from the townsfolk.

A pivotal moment occurs when the characters receive recognition and rewards for their bravery:

Gumgum [42:25]: "Let's give it up for the four newest members of the Slayer's Take."

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Conclusion and Setting Up Future Adventures [43:47 - 44:53]

The episode concludes with the newly recruited heroes gathering around a roaring bonfire at dusk. Timpani imparts a sense of camaraderie and purpose, presenting them with badges symbolizing their new roles. The group sits together, sharing stories and preparing for forthcoming missions.

Storytelling Element:

• Gumgum introduces a spooky tale about the Timber Blight of Dead Man's Table, setting a mysterious and adventurous tone for future episodes:

  Gumgum [45:38]: "Have you ever heard the story of the timber blight of Dead Man's Table?"

This narrative thread hints at upcoming challenges and deepens the lore of the Slayer's Take, promising engaging content for listeners.

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Notable Quotes with Attribution and Timestamps

1. Hera Agnihart [02:00]: "We recently partnered up with the folks over at Critical Role to put Tales from the Stinky Dragon and our bonus show second Win on the platform Beacon TV."

2. Gumgum [09:02]: "Ay, you're eying Old Bertha, is ya?"

3. Idrin Shadowstep [09:53]: "I must say, you are one of the strangest people I have ever met."

4. Hera Agnihart [42:36]: "Let's give it up for the four newest members of the Slayer's Take."

5. Frog [35:45]: "31 damage."

6. Hera Agnihart [41:55]: "She slices this now orb-like cube in half cleanly through the middle."

7. Gumgum [45:38]: "Have you ever heard the story of the timber blight of Dead Man's Table?"

These quotes encapsulate pivotal moments and character dynamics, enhancing the episode's engaging narrative.

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Final Thoughts

"FEED DROP: Introducing The Re-Slayer’s Take!" serves as both an exciting partnership announcement and an enthralling adventure that showcases the synergy between Tales from the Stinky Dragon and Critical Role Productions. The episode masterfully blends humor, action, and storytelling, providing listeners with a rich and immersive experience that promises more adventures to come.

Whether you're a seasoned D&D player or new to the genre, this episode offers a captivating glimpse into the whimsical and heroic world crafted by the Stinky Dragon crew.

Transcript

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[Gumgum]

Decisions, decisions.

[Narrator]

Wait a minute. Are you still looking for cars on Carvana?

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Yeah.

[Gumgum]

Decisions, decisions.

[Narrator]

When I used Carvana, I found the.

[Frog]

Exact car I was looking for in minutes.

[Narrator]

Bought it on the spot, electric or full diesel.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Decisions.

[Narrator]

Come on, you've been at it for weeks. Just buy it already.

[Gumgum]

You're right.

[Narrator]

Crossover it is decisions decided whether where you know exactly what you want or like to take your time. Buy your car the convenient way with Carvana.

[Gumgum]

Up, up. Down, down. Left, right, left, right. Ba. Start. Oh hi, it's me, Gumgum from Tales from the Sticky Dragon. Sorry, I was playing some video games. Hey, did you know that our Patreon followers have access to gameplay videos? That's right. Me and the other Infinites are playing Baldur's Gate 3. So come on over to sneakydragonpod.com to become a Patreon member and watch me, Cyborg, Bart and Bud go on more video game adventures. That's stinkydragonpod Dot. Sign up today.

[Narrator]

Peace.

[Hera Agnihart]

Hey there Stinkers. In case you missed it, we recently partnered up with the folks over at Critical Role to put Tales from the Stinky Dragon and our bonus show second Win on the platform Beacon tv. The Critical Role crew has so many stories to share, but today we specifically want to focus on their epic all ages tabletop role playing adventure. The Re Slayers take taking place in the fantasy world of Exandria. You'll be guided through the wild continent of Isilra, home to some of the most dangerous creatures. Here, the Slayer's take is the most notorious hunting group in the realm. But when this group's previously slain creatures start returning from the grave, it's up to six misfit mercenaries to band together and re slay the supernatural threats. As the Reslayers Take the Party is led by duo game masters George Primavera and Nick Williams, with the main cast including Jasmine Bjellar, Jasper, William Cartwright, Caroline Lux and Jasmine Chong. So as a special treat, I want to share with you the first episode of the Rest Slayer's Take right now on our podcast feed. We hope you enjoy the story and like what you hear. You can listen to new episodes every Monday anywhere you stream podcasts or receive early ad free access at Beacon tv. Now let's begin the first episode of the Reslayer's Take.

[Narrator]

We open on a chilly, misty morning in the Vesper Timberland as the citizens of the humble town of Himblewood begin preparing for their festive monthly market. The vibrant, lush woodland of the Vesper Timberland frames the town in a truly picturesque embrace and soon colorful tents and awnings are erected all along Himblewood's uneven cobblestone streets. The plain hodgepodge of houses and shops are quickly accented with decorative streamers, gaudy signage and flamboyant displays. And as noon rolls around, the market gets into full swing. The air is filled with a variety of dazzling aromas. The smells of fruity frosted cakes, pungent stinky cheeses and briny slimy fish mix in the air, and at the edge of a street band's captive crowd we see a tall hooded figure looking shyly on a figure we know as Frog.

[Frog]

Frog stands about 6ft 10 inches tall. Her body is humanoid in shape but metallic in nature. She's copper with gilded and ornate accents that now have taken on a greenish patina over time. To cover this up and blend in more, she wears a hooded poncho and belted high waisted corduroy trousers. When she's active her eyes glow a dull blue so she wears large round spectacles to dim them. Across her back she has a worn leather knapsack which houses her most prized possession, a beat up looking journal where she jots down all her notes and discoveries.

[Narrator]

Frog, as you listen to the music you feel a sharp tug on your clothing. From behind, a small child with a little bit of snot bubbling at his nose exclaims, excuse me, I can't see the music.

[Farah]

Oh oh. Oh my goodness. I'm so, so sorry. If you if you had me your hat, I could pull you up here and you could see from where I am.

[Narrator]

Roll a persuasion check seven as you lean down Frog, your spectacles fall down on your metallic nose and the child's eyes go wide as he sees bright blue orbs shining into his own eyes. And he backs up a little frightened, and then takes off back away through the crowd.

[Farah]

Oh. Oh no. I'll put my glasses back on. Oh, I hope no one else notices.

[Frog]

Frog looks on to the band playing with excitement. She pulls out her journal and jots down the shapes of all the instruments. She's never seen something like this before.

[Narrator]

The band's song ends. There's a polite applause from the surrounding crowd. And then the crowd begins to disperse. As you wander on, Frog, you reach a small eatery with barrels stacked up behind a small counter with a couple of chairs and tables spread out on the cobblestone main road. At a countertop, there is a hunched figure that seems to repel everyone else's presence. Even the shopkeep behind the counter mixing colorful beverages, seems to avoid her gaze. Frog. It strikes you just how lonely this must be for someone to sit all alone on such a joyful day.

[Frog]

Frog sits down next to them to offer some easy company.

[Narrator]

Turning to look at who has sat next to her, we see Farah.

[Timpani Guff]

A half elven woman with silver hair. She sits tall and proud. Her her worn studded leather armor she no longer fills out suggests a life of adventure she has long left behind. Farrah pays no mind to the person that just sat next to her. Despite their large frame. She continues to eat the food in front of her, concentrating on every bite.

[Farah]

Uh, did you hear any of the music playing earlier?

[Timpani Guff]

I don't like music.

[Farah]

Oh, that's cool. Um, I had never actually heard anything like that before. Can you tell me what this instrument is?

[Frog]

And Frog holds up her journal, showing a quick sketch that she had done of a guitar. She doesn't know what a guitar is.

[Timpani Guff]

Farrah looks at Frog skeptically. That's a guitar.

[Farah]

A guitar. Wow. That's amazing. Thank you so, so much. That's so nice of you to share that information with me. I can't believe it. Guitars.

[Timpani Guff]

Farah pushes the unknown patriot sitting to her right off their seat and sidles away from Frog.

[Narrator]

Farah moves over, leaving a seat between her and Frog. Both of you make a perception check. 22 Botch Frog as you stare joyfully ahead, Farrah scrutinizes your person. Farrah, you notice sticking out of the pocket of this enormous figure's corduroys is a familiar red hued piece of parchment. One that you happen to have in your own pocket.

[Timpani Guff]

You're a hunter.

[Farah]

Are you talking to me? I just thought because you scooched away from me, so I thought maybe you didn't want to Talk to me. And I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry.

[Timpani Guff]

I just want to know what the red slip in your pocket is.

[Farah]

Oh. Oh, this. This is an invitation to join the Slayer's take. And you see, I'm trying to learn as much as I can about the world around me and around all of us. And I thought that this might be a good chance for me to get out there and see new things so I can write them down and I can learn them and I can spread more information to the other people that might need it. How did you know?

[Timpani Guff]

I know things, Farah.

[Narrator]

Make an investigation. Check.

[Timpani Guff]

Nat 20.

[Narrator]

As you peer at this figure, you see a faint blue glow emanating from behind dark spectacles and a very shiny, shiny looking face. It would seem this person is in a full suit of armor, which you also deduce from the tinny nature of their voice, as if it's reverberating off of metallic walls.

[Timpani Guff]

You're looking a little clammy.

[Farah]

Clammy? Whoa. I'm gonna write that down.

[Narrator]

At the fishmonger's on the other side of the market, standing in front of an enormous and bizarrely colored swordfish on a bed of ice, we see Shadowstep.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

A young half orc, half elf reaches forward with his left hand, on the back of which is a tattoo of the moon. On the back of his right hand there is a corresponding tattoo of the sun. He wears matching gold earrings in both ears. He's wearing flowing robes in tones of reds, browns and golds, with a pattern that looks like fragments of a starry sky. Then he brushes his hand to a satchel that sits its left hip next to a dagger. He reaches in and finds a silver coin that rests between his claytoned fingers and painted black nails, staring at this strange fish in front of him.

[Gumgum]

Ay, you're eying Old Bertha, is ya?

[Idrin Shadowstep]

I am.

[Gumgum]

Well, Old Mickey Horse Laughed Tallis in Cod. Old Bertha just nigh on two days ago. I been chasing that fish my entire life. Only two gold pieces per pound.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

So you're saying that fish is as old as you are?

[Gumgum]

Oh yes. Even older than Old Horse Laugh. And for a hundred gold, I'll give you the whole fish.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

What can I get for a silver piece?

[Narrator]

Pfft.

[Gumgum]

A silver piece? Don't make me Horse Laugh. Let me show you over to the bargain section. I'll give you three or four for silver.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

That would be perfect if you dry it and prepare it properly. And then add a little bit of magic. Anything can be delicious, friend.

[Gumgum]

With fish like this, a little bit of magic is all you need. So back to old Bertha. I was there out on the lake in my old tugboat, Christine, and I've been fishing that hole for quite some time. Years in fact. Anyway, Bertha finally grabbed onto my hook and my old Christine was dragged clear across the lake. So I hung on for dear life. But then Christine hit a rock and I was flung into the briny lake itself.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Idrin takes a good long look at this fish, wondering how this thing ended up in a lake.

[Narrator]

Idrin, make a nature check.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

7.

[Narrator]

This is an unfamiliar fish to you, but one thing that catches your eye is the iridescent green stripe that extends from snout to tail. It gleams like an opal.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Idrin is listening to this strange, potentially delirious old man, but cannot take his eyes off that beautiful stripe short.

[Gumgum]

After a prolonged boxing match at the surface, I was victorious and arrived in town with my prize catch. Old Bertha.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

I must say, you are one of the strangest people I have ever met. But you actually remind me of my mother a little bit.

[Gumgum]

Oh, thank you, young man.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

She has done things that made no sense to me. I. I once saw her lift a boulder with her mind. It was astounding. So if a man can fight a fish and bring it to glory and I guess a market, anything is possible.

[Gumgum]

Anything is possible. Now please buy some old fish or get the heck out of here because there's paying customers waiting behind you.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Yes, of course. Idrin reaches into his satchel and pulls out the silver piece and hands it over and then picks up his three fish excitedly, grinning more from having been able to get a free story along with his dinner.

[Gumgum]

Kid, take a crab on the house.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

As the crab is flying through the air, Idrin looks back and then lets out a whistling sound and a hawk comes and snatches the crab midair as it comes to land on Idrin's shoulder. There you are. That was a very good catch. You're getting better at this, Idrin.

[Narrator]

You continue to gaze at the vast array of goods being hawked at the market today and a conversation being had by an old woman behind a table. Table full of jewelry catches your ear and you see arguing with the elderly shopkeep a tiefling woman. Tieflings look very much like humans, but their infernal bloodlines bestow upon them thick tails, horns, and a mouthful of sharp canine teeth.

[Poogs]

Hira Agnihart is a tiefling with an ochre complexion. She wears leather armor embossed with henna designs strapped over Emerald green and Prussian blue silks. She has water buffalo style horns that she ties with ribbons and peacock feathers.

[Narrator]

But I don't understand. Why would I pay you to steal my precious jewels?

[Poogs]

Because if you pay me to steal your jewels, then you'll know the deficiencies in your security system, thereby preventing further theft. Also, half of these jewels are fake.

[Narrator]

Okay, I want to come back to that. But first, to address your first point. Security system. What is that?

[Poogs]

Well, a security system essentially keeps your valuables from people who want them.

[Narrator]

Oh, Isme squawks if he sees somebody snatch something. Don't you? Is don't you good bird. Yes, a very ancient looking parakeet. Sheds several feathers as the old woman pats the wing.

[Poogs]

I think Isme's eyes may be going because they didn't catch me. Pocket these four gems and Hira holds aloft four gems between her fingers.

[Narrator]

You are losing your touch, you old thing. Hira, make a deception check to try to pass off your own jewels as this old woman's 19. Well, clearly I am in dire need of your services, young lady. Just show me where I sign. Coming up on Hera's side, lost in the shining of the gems is Idrin.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

What? What is happening here?

[Poogs]

Uh, just a business transaction between two parties.

[Narrator]

Yes, she stole my gems and now I'm paying her.

[Poogs]

Precisely.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

So, are you hungry? And Ejun pulls out a fish that is raw.

[Poogs]

Me? Hira hasn't eaten in days and is no longer in a position to turn her nose up at this food. She takes the slimy fish holding it between two fingers and says, thank you. You're very kind.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

My pleasure. And you. Would you like a fish?

[Narrator]

Oh, no. I'm on a grain only diet.

[Poogs]

I bet that's why you are preserved so well. Now, if you just sign here with your quill, we can get you locked in for a five year plan.

[Narrator]

Done and done. What is your name?

[Poogs]

Hera.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

You'll be stealing her gems for five years and she pays you for it?

[Poogs]

Ah, not quite like that. No. I steal her gems so that other thieves fail at stealing them. It's really quite beneficial to both parties.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Well, I mean, of course they'll fail at stealing them if there's no gems to steal.

[Narrator]

Exactly. Idrin and Hira continue to mosey curiously through the market.

[Poogs]

Do you think we could maybe find a place where we could pay them to cook the fish? I would like a snack before I go audition for the Slayer's tape.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Oh, you're going to the Slayers take.

[Poogs]

Out of sheer Desperation? Yes. It's come to this, unfortunately.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Oh, so am I. But less out of desperation, more out of excitement.

[Poogs]

I'm sorry. I know what it's like.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Which part exactly?

[Poogs]

Taking anything you can get to just get by. Oh, I understand.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

No, that's not why.

[Poogs]

We are brothers together in this. We will get together. Yes.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Idrin pauses to look at this figure and has a moment where he just thinks, your father told you how to do this. Sometimes people will say things and if it's not harmful, you agree because they're happy. Yes. Thank you. Thank you for understanding me.

[Poogs]

Together we'll build our fortunes again.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

We will. And then we will have cooked fish.

[Poogs]

Her nostrils flail a little bit with disgust at the smell and the slime of the fish. But she's also very hungry.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

You know, I. I could probably cook it very quickly. Idrin looks around for an empty spot.

[Narrator]

Roll a perception check.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

14.

[Narrator]

There is not quite an alleyway, but a small narrow path between two buildings where several barrels are stacked up, allowing a completely obscured corner.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Hira, right?

[Poogs]

Yes. I don't think I caught your name.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Idrin bows. My name is Idrin. Idrin Shadow Step. Come. Follow me.

[Poogs]

I would be very obliged. I've never cooked a day in my life. And she hands her fish back to him.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Idrin takes it and then takes two of the barrels, puts them down and pulls out his dagger and lays it across. He gently puts the two fish on top of it. He speaks a few words in Elvish and he casts create bonfire as a small fire appears underneath to gently heat the metal and cook these fish.

[Narrator]

The fish sizzle on the metallic surface of the knife. Soon a pleasant aroma fills the air.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

I think they're ready, sir.

[Poogs]

You are a gentleman and a scholar and a cook. She grabs one and takes a bite.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Idrin does the same.

[Poogs]

This is the best meal I've had in days. And within moments Hera devours the entire fish bones and all.

[Narrator]

Midday rolls around the time denoted on the red hued parchment for the beginning of the Slayer's Take Recruit presentation. And all four of our travelers find a surprisingly modest booth with the symbol of the Slayer's Take hastily scrawled on an oversized piece of parchment and nailed to the front of it. A goblin sits behind the table atop a tall stool, drawing several looks from passersby, which the little goblin returns with a cheery, oblivious wave.

[Timpani Guff]

As Farrah walks over, she lectures Frog finding the ego boost she desperately needed with this person who wants to hear all she has to say. All right, so you're here to learn things. Let me teach you something.

[Farah]

Uh huh.

[Timpani Guff]

These people are ruthless. These people are tough. They're monster hunters. All they want is money. So you just gotta prove that you're better.

[Farah]

Okay.

[Timpani Guff]

You're tall. Push people over.

[Farah]

Oh, like push them over without like asking them or anything?

[Timpani Guff]

Yeah. Do what you gotta do to stand out. Well, you already stand out.

[Farah]

Oh, I was gonna say something about you. You've got those two swords.

[Timpani Guff]

Yeah. Don't take them.

[Farah]

I would never. You were telling me about how you have powers that make you stronger.

[Timpani Guff]

Yeah, but don't focus on that. I'm not your competition. These guys are your competition. Okay? I'm gonna. I'm getting this contract either way. Look at me. I'm. I'm the best. You want number two, you gotta prove you're number two amongst these people.

[Narrator]

Farah gestures to a line of folks that are scribbling down their names on a long list as the goblin reads from a piece of paper, speaking to them in a very formal fashion, but you can't quite hear what's being said. Farah and Frog end up directly behind Idrin and Hera, sucking the last of the fish meat off of very little brittle bones.

[Poogs]

I think we should thin out the competition, Idrin.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Okay.

[Poogs]

Maybe a diversion would be awful if someone wandered off just as their name was called.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

How would we do that exactly?

[Poogs]

Hera is going to take an appraising look at the people in line in front of her and using her eye for detail, try to see if she can find something on their person or something about them that would denote another responsibility she can pull on.

[Narrator]

Roll an investigation.

[Poogs]

Check 24.

[Narrator]

In front of Hera, there is a woman standing with a very palpable anticipation, seemingly very excited to get her name down on this list. Hera looks down her figure down to a belt on which is a burlap pouch with the outline symbol of an apple. And gazing around the market, she finds the exact same symbol on a shop sign some couple of hundred feet down the street.

[Poogs]

Hera taps on her shoulder.

[Timpani Guff]

Yes?

[Poogs]

I believe someone from your shop is looking for you. You work at the grocer's? Yes.

[Narrator]

How did you know that?

[Poogs]

Well, I heard the shopkeep there throwing a large ruckus, saying the count was off and gold is missing.

[Narrator]

The count was off. And she sprints out of line back to the grocers.

[Poogs]

Well, that's one down.

[Timpani Guff]

See? Ruthless.

[Farah]

Wow. You're right. You're very wise.

[Timpani Guff]

Thank you. I think so too.

[Narrator]

As soon as the four of you approach. The little goblin pulls out a little notecard and begins to read. Welcome, friend. If you are here to be considered to join the take, look no further, for you have arrived at your destination. My name is Poogs and I will be checking you in today. May I have your name, please? The first thing you notice about this goblin are his perfectly straight white teeth.

[Poogs]

Hira looks utterly taken aback. You have a very charming smile.

[Narrator]

Thank you. Do you want to hear the story of my smile?

[Timpani Guff]

No.

[Farah]

Yes, please.

[Narrator]

Well, when I was a goblin influenced by the curse of strife and was relieved of that burden, the first thing I did was take out all of my teeth and then found a wizard to replace them. And he gave me these. And Poogs. The goblin reaches into his mouth and pulls out his full set of dentures. That's why I thought they're a little big, but I like the way they look.

[Farah]

Could you do that again? Thank you so much.

[Narrator]

You're welcome.

[Poogs]

Maybe you can grow into them.

[Narrator]

You think so?

[Poogs]

I mean, who knows? Anything is possible.

[Narrator]

The problem is you're made for people. And you're a little big for my little goblin mouth. So we make do with what we got. And he slides the parchment forward, places the quill down. Go ahead and write your names. And then go ahead and tell me what your inspiration was for joining the cake.

[Poogs]

Kira takes the pen and in a very flourishy cursive handwriting writes down her name and says pointedly, hunger.

[Narrator]

That's a great reason. And you?

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Um. I would like to defend others from danger. Strange question. May I. May I see your teeth? Idrin grabs the teeth and looks at the goblin's face and then tries to resize them a little bit. And there's probably breaks and cracks, but after Idrin does that, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out two lodestones and then says a few words over the dentures and is going to cast mending trying to shape them to be a more fitting size. After breaking them a bit, Idren make.

[Narrator]

An Arcana check 10. The mending spell does indeed alter the shape of these a little bit. But as the spell takes effect, some of the alterations that Idren was attempting to make come slightly undone.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

When this happens, Idren looks at it and sees that it's not the way he wants. And in that moment, there's a surge in his eyes as he uses a.

[Narrator]

Chronal shift just to Idrin's eyes. The world seems to rewind a few seconds and Idren feels himself gain another chance to alter the teeth. Correct make another arcana.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Check 17.

[Narrator]

And this time, the teeth reduce in size appropriately for a goblin.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Here you go.

[Narrator]

What are you do.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

They might fit a little bit more comfortably now.

[Narrator]

Let me. Oh, those went in really easy. Easy.

[Gumgum]

Wow.

[Narrator]

Is this permanent?

[Idrin Shadowstep]

It is.

[Narrator]

This is great.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

You're great. Idrin signs his name very quickly.

[Narrator]

Who's next?

[Farah]

Uh, congratulations on the new teeth.

[Narrator]

Yeah, it's huge. I'm still kind of processing it. What's your name?

[Farah]

I was just about to write it down.

[Frog]

Frog picks up the pen and scribbles her name in just barely legible writing.

[Narrator]

Your penmanship is beautiful.

[Farah]

Thank you so much. It's been a slow learning process, but I get better with each day. Oh, speaking of, my purpose of for wanting to join here today. It's. It's learning and knowledge.

[Narrator]

That's great. I learned a lot in the Slayer's take.

[Farah]

Really? Like what?

[Narrator]

Um, who's next?

[Timpani Guff]

Farah writes down her name. I'm a monster hunter. I hunt monsters.

[Narrator]

Yeah, well, that's what we do, so that works great. Uh, if you guys will take a seat over there. The presentation should be starting pretty soon. And our four travelers go about trying to find a seat amidst several wooden chairs set before a clumsily constructed stage.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

As they're coming in, Idrin actually turns to the two behind him. Idrin, nice to meet you.

[Farah]

Oh, I'm Frog.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Like a frog?

[Farah]

Yes, like a frog. Like the amphibious creature that lives both on land and in water and has a very good ability of leaping. Sometimes they contain a poison in their skin.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Do you. Do you have poison under your.

[Farah]

Oh, no. Okay. Oh, no, not at all. I just thought that was a very interesting fact about frogs. It's not something I share with them.

[Narrator]

Idrin, roll an investigation check 19. As you stare up into Frog's big round spectacles, you see that blue glow emanating from behind them. And also notice that metallic sheen around her face, implying that perhaps Frog is wearing a full, very tight fitting suit of armor.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

You're very interesting.

[Narrator]

As everybody begins to take their seats and the crowd settles while the market continues full blast around them, the goblin hops up onto the stage and addresses the audience. Okay, everybody, introducing our representative from the Slayers Take. Slayers take, please welcome Timpani Guff. There's a hesitant applause, and bounding up onto the stage is a shorter than.

[Gumgum]

Average, more portly than average Furbolg, with a shock of red hair on top of his head, coming out of his ears, and in the form of a large bristly mustache on his face Furbolgs.

[Narrator]

Are tall, hairy, with pointed ears and blue tinged skin as well as broad cow like noses. They stand much taller than most humans.

[Gumgum]

He wears canvassy pants that have been patched over many times, a simple tunic and a barn coat that is in similarly bad repair. He addresses the crowd excitedly. How's it going there? My name is Timpani Guff. Timpani like the beautiful ins. Instrument. And Guff like I don't take none from nobody. I'm from the Slayer's take over there in Vasselheim. And we're here today looking for some new recruits. And hey, that could be one of you. We're looking for normal people who just want to do the right thing. But be warned, it's not for the faint of heart or for anyone looking to make a fast coin. That's not what the Slayer's take is all about. The Slayer's take is about honor and glory and protecting the innocent. But also, I have made a pretty penny taking down some of the spookiest monsters in them. There.

[Frog]

Vesper Timberlands Frog pulls out her journal hastily and writes down everything that timpani guff is saying.

[Poogs]

Hera just murmurs to Idrin, you can do good things and get paid. Not mutually exclusive. I have found.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Idrin looks at the moon on the back of his left hand and then looks to Hera. Sometimes payment from good things is more than just money. Like friendship.

[Gumgum]

Okay, let's see who we got here today. Oh, I see a tall lady in the audience. Hey, tall lady. Are you coming out for the Slayer's take? You would do a good job hunting down them spooky monsters.

[Farah]

Do you really think I would do a good job?

[Gumgum]

Of course. You're so tall.

[Timpani Guff]

Under her breath, Farrah whispers to Frog. Exude confidence.

[Farah]

Exude confidence. Yes, sir. I can can do it.

[Gumgum]

Ah, yeah. That's exactly the kind of confidence we admire in the Slayer's dig. Why don't you come up here on stage with me?

[Farah]

Okay.

[Gumgum]

Oh boy. You're even taller than I thought when you were sitting down. Why didn't you just wait for me on stage? I'll get a couple more volunteers.

[Farah]

You got it.

[Gumgum]

And you. You look like you seen a couple battles in your day.

[Timpani Guff]

More than a couple.

[Gumgum]

I like the cut of your jib and the cut of those two short swords on your back. Why don't you come join your tall friend?

[Timpani Guff]

Farrah works hard to exude confidence. But after hearing this speech, it suddenly dawns on her how long it's been since she last did this.

[Gumgum]

Okay. Let's see who else we got here.

[Narrator]

Pick me, pick me, pick me.

[Gumgum]

Wait. Yes. You way in the back there, Derek.

[Narrator]

My name's Derek.

[Gumgum]

Derek. What's your deal, Derek?

[Idrin Shadowstep]

I was an accountant for the Don Marshall of the Quadros.

[Narrator]

Looking for a change.

[Gumgum]

Well, thanks for coming, Derek. Who else we got in the crowd?

[Narrator]

Derek disappointedly lowers his hand and sits back in his.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Idrin raises his hand.

[Gumgum]

Oh, and Mr. Fancy Robes.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Yes, because sometimes when you have to do good, you want to look nice doing it.

[Gumgum]

Oh, that is exactly right. That's. That's my motto. Get up here and stand on stage.

[Poogs]

Kira sees that her friend is gone, the only person she knew here, and she starts to feel a little bit of social anxiety. So the next person she thinks that Timpani is going to point to, she rapidly trips them and stands up in their place and says, how about yes? Me as well. Right? I knew it.

[Gumgum]

Timpani checks the signup sheet. All right, everybody, let's give it up for the volunteers. Adrian, Shadow, Step, Farah. No last name given. Kira, Agniheart, and Frog. Okay, now that we have our volunteers, our four brave heroes, I will unveil the kind of beast you might be facing when you join the tank. But don't be afeard. Everything is under control.

[Narrator]

Poogs wheels. An enormous box atop a dolly covered with a red tarp up onto the stage.

[Gumgum]

Now, again, please do not worry, but all of the laymen out there take one step back, for the beast inside of this container is not to be trifled with, unless you're a verified member of the Slayer's Take, like me. Timpani, guff. And with a grand flourish, Timpani removes the red curtain.

[Narrator]

Everybody make a perception check.

[Timpani Guff]

10.

[Poogs]

16.

[Frog]

16.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

18.

[Narrator]

Farah, you see in this glass box several objects suspended in the air. A score of arrows at all different angles, a silvery helmet with a thick bridge of the nose, a rusted, decrepit shield, and a perfectly preserved fish skeleton. But the other three look a little closer at the box and notice that there is something jiggling and waving from within. A gelatinous cube contained within this glass box with no apparent opening. Only about half of the crowd seems to realize what's inside.

[Gumgum]

Ladies and gentlemen, steal your hearts, for you have nothing to be afraid of. I am a trained and venerated member of the Slayer's Take. And that means.

[Narrator]

And Timpani accidentally catches his boot between the slats of the stage and takes a header directly into the glass. There's a resounding crash, and he drops to the ground.

[Gumgum]

Oh. Oh, that's okay. That ain't. That's all part of the job. There's dangers and hurdles around every turn, but nothing to be afraid of here. I am still very much in control.

[Narrator]

And behind Timpani, the glass begins to spiderweb crack very gently from the point of impact. Uh, timpani. And then there is a bursting of glass. As all of the glass shatters and drops onto the stage, several people gasp and begin to back up.

[Gumgum]

Timpani's eyes go wide and he slowly turns around towards the gelatinous cube. Okay, folks, just take a big step back and.

[Narrator]

And then all at once, the cube schlorps through the slats in the wooden stage below.

[Gumgum]

Heckin geez a loo. The cube is loose. Everybody run. It's loose.

[Narrator]

And now for a brief intermission. Now back to the show. The crowd explodes into a feverish panic, and everybody begins to fall over themselves to get out of the cube's path. As it begins to slowly reform at.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

The base of the stage, Idrin sees the people around him in danger and then puts his right hand and arm forward with the sun lit on his hand. And then the sun itself starts to manifest and glow as he chants a few words in elven. And then four of his fingertips light up and he casts scorching ray at third level towards this gelatinous cube.

[Narrator]

Roll your attacks.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

13, 16, 25.

[Narrator]

13, 4 hits. Roll your damage.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

30 points of fire. Damage.

[Narrator]

As it is engulfed in fire, the still reforming gelatinous cube seems to shrivel and shrink away from the blistering heat.

[Gumgum]

Timpani dashes towards the wooden chairs and dives behind one, attempting to hide.

[Narrator]

Roll a stealth check 20. Timpani disappears behind a barrel, hiding effectively.

[Frog]

Frog rushes towards this gelatinous cube, eyes open and analyzing. She strikes at the creature with a deft punch and kick, and she channels her ki into a third punch.

[Narrator]

Roll three attacks.

[Frog]

12, 15. Nat.

[Narrator]

23 hits. Roll your damage.

[Frog]

31 damage. After unleashing a flurry of blows, Frog uses what she has picked up from her hits to discern information about this creature that she has never experienced before.

[Narrator]

As Frog strikes this massive cube, she searches for a vulnerability and finds none interesting. The cube suddenly heads towards a massive stand full of ornate cheeses, rich oranges and yellows, and begins to suck them into itself. The cheeses begin to dissolve as soon as they enter within the cube, and you see that this cube is heading directly through the market at the far end of this Cube's trajectory, about 45ft away, you see Captain Horslaff with a trident in both hands, standing stalwart in front of his surprise catch.

[Gumgum]

You're not gonna take Old Bertha from Mickey Horselaff Tolleson, that's for sure.

[Narrator]

The Cube clearly has other intentions, as at this, two little peaks form within the cube, as if arms are outstretching towards the pungent fish.

[Poogs]

First, Hera draws her rapier from her belt. The golden hilt glistens in the sun. But before she attacks, she's going to scan behind her.

[Narrator]

She.

[Poogs]

She darts one devilish eye towards the barrels and says, do something. People are going to die. And then she thrusts forward in a quick motion, striking out with her rapier.

[Narrator]

Roll an attack.

[Poogs]

25 hit.

[Narrator]

Roll damage.

[Poogs]

12.

[Narrator]

The rapier pierces this massive cube of jelly and as it schlorps on out, some loose liquid with an acrid stench spills over the cobblestone.

[Timpani Guff]

Farah pulls out two short. Feeling the familiar grip, she gains the confidence to run forward. The veins in her arms glow bright red and her blades catch fire as she swings three times with her shortsword. 23. 9. 20.

[Narrator]

Even a nine hits as the cube makes no move to avoid the slashing swords.

[Timpani Guff]

14P piercing damage.

[Narrator]

12 fire damage for a total of 26 damage. The cube is now glowing in iridescent yellow and orange. As the cheeses melted within begin to color the entire cube, it still trundles forward, leaving a thick slimy trail behind it.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Idrin gazes at the moving cube and looks down to the sun on the back of his hand and he aims his four fingertips towards the cube to cast sun scorching ray yet again at third level. Will your attacks, Nat, 2011. 18.

[Hera Agnihart]

14.

[Narrator]

4 hits. Roll your damage.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

41 points of fire damage.

[Narrator]

Another massive blast of fire engulfs the cube from the back and it seems to reduce slightly in size as jelly burns away into the air, increasing that acrid ammonia stench.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

People have worked very hard on that cheese.

[Frog]

Seeing that the cube has not slowed down its trajectory towards the fish man, Frog decides to strike the creature in a way that might stun it.

[Narrator]

Roll an attack.

[Frog]

16. 8 damage.

[Narrator]

Frog throws a vicious punch at the gelatinous cube, attempting to stun it. But the gelatinous cube resists the stunning effect of her. And then it tries to engulf Frog, who stands adjacent. Make a dexterity saving throw.

[Frog]

12.

[Narrator]

Just barely escaping the grasping jelly, Frog backs up, avoiding the engulfing effect.

[Farah]

Whoa. Be careful everybody. It has the ability to suck you in, just like the cheese.

[Narrator]

The cube moves forward, plowing through the street at a diagonal angle, moving into the statue of the founder of Ol Hick Himblewood, adorned with fruity cakes and pastries around the statue as an offering. The statue is consumed and it begins to float inside the gelatinous cube as all of the cakes dissolve and the air fills with that nasty smell once again. The inside of the cube is now a swirling array of pinks, reds, yellows and oranges. And a very enthusiastic halfling man giving two thumbs up.

[Poogs]

With a little bit more grace in her step now, Hera charges forward and says, what a waste of cake.

[Narrator]

12 hit.

[Poogs]

15.

[Narrator]

Another vicious slash and more liquid pours out over the cobblestone. The cube continues forward, sword's still alight.

[Timpani Guff]

Farah rushes forward and strikes it three times. 20. 16.

[Narrator]

10 three hits.

[Timpani Guff]

13 piercing damage. 16 fire damage.

[Narrator]

Farah cuts corners off of the massive cube, turning it more into a misshapen sphere. And it continues to much more weakly now lunge toward the fish market, almost rolling like an enormous jelly filled ball.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Idrin throws a punch forward to uniquely cast Firebolt.

[Narrator]

18 hit. Roll damage.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

13 fire.

[Frog]

Frog looks over to Idrin and she feels inspired to continue with her own punches. She's gonna give it her all. 14. 12. 19.

[Narrator]

21. 4 hits. Roll your damage.

[Frog]

24 damage. In her mind, Frog's fists are surrounded in fire like Idrin's as she makes a quick jab with the right, a quick uppercut with the left, and two windmill kicks. With her flurry of blows, she attempts to stun the creature once more and.

[Narrator]

The wiggling jelly goes still. The cube is inches from the fish market and just seems to freeze in place.

[Poogs]

Don't worry, we'll save your fish. Kira rushes out again with an 18 hit roll damage. 21.

[Narrator]

How do you want to do this?

[Poogs]

She moves forward very fluidly, the rapier coming out almost like it's an extension of her arm, and slices this now orb like cube in half cleanly through the middle.

[Narrator]

It freezes for a moment and then separates from itself and then drops to the cobblestone, immediately losing shape and becoming a formless, still slightly smoking jelly.

[Gumgum]

Timpani stands up slowly from the chairs, clapping slowly as he does.

[Narrator]

And very slowly, the rest of the town joins him. And suddenly all four look around and see scores of admirers and cheering townsfolk.

[Gumgum]

Let's give it up for the four newest members of the Slayer's tank.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

Idrin looks around excitedly and isn't sure how to process it, so he takes the crab on his shoulder and breaks open a claw and starts to eat it nervously.

[Gumgum]

That's right. Feast on all the crab you have. Because today we have seen victory.

[Poogs]

You fool. How dare you talk about glory and doing good, you coward.

[Gumgum]

What you perceived as cowardice was actually me giving you the test of a lifetime. And you passed. Welcome to the Slayer's take. Timpani poses in a tableau, shaking Hera's hand, facing the crowd, and leans in to whisper conspiratorially to all four.

[Poogs]

As he leans in, Hera definitely attempts to run.

[Narrator]

His pockets roll a sleight of hand.

[Poogs]

Check 16.

[Narrator]

And comes away with Timpani's coin purse, unbeknownst to him.

[Gumgum]

Meet me at the outset of the town at dusk. I have your first mission in hand. Let's give one more big round of applause to the heroes of the Himblewood Fair.

[Narrator]

Before the group can gather their belongings and disperse, Captain Horselaff comes up and shoves neatly wrapped packages of fish into each of their hands.

[Gumgum]

You protected me and my interest all day long, and you deserve a of old Bertha herself.

[Idrin Shadowstep]

There's an amazing story that goes with this, I promise.

[Farah]

Well, I can't wait to hear it. And also, I can't wait to eat this, because I definitely eat.

[Gumgum]

That's a crazy thing to say. Anyway, I was out on the lake.

[Narrator]

After a 20 minute story with altered and much more embellished details, our four travelers realized that dusk is much nearer than they had originally thought. And they move towards the edge of Himblewood, crossing the treeline a little ways up the valley, journeying to a bright firelight at the base of one of the further mountains. As you all approach in almost pitch darkness. Now, Timpani and Poogs sit around a roaring bonfire. Timpani immediately stands up with something in his hands that he reaches out to hand to each of you.

[Gumgum]

When I walked into Himblewood today, I said to myself, timpani, who knows if you're gonna find anybody who's worthy here? But then I did. And how. Take these badges with pride and welcome to the Slayer's take.

[Narrator]

After a hearty dinner is eaten and the firelight burns low, Timpani sparks the conversation once again.

[Gumgum]

Do you guys like spooky stories around the campfire? Cause I got a real spooky one that I like to tell to all the new recruits.

[Poogs]

Yes, yes, lay it on me, Fur boy.

[Gumgum]

Fur boy. I like that. See, we're already giving each other fun names. Timpani hurriedly adjusts his seating and drapes a cloak over his head to intensify the spookiness. Now, have you ever heard the story of the timber blight of Dead Man's Table.

[Farah]

No.

[Gumgum]

Well, you're in for a treat. A spooky treat. You see, long ago in the Slayer's take, there was a powerful druid named Putridius Festerkin, in tune with all the powers of nature. But as powerful as he was, he abhorred the rushing rivers with their deep eddies, the tall stalwart trees with their sturdy roots, and the unbreakable beasts of the Vesper Timberlands, for they were more powerful than he. The Druid tried to barter with the spirits of the forest, but he was denied. Full of rage, he turned to the forbidden magics. And he became obsessed with bringing nature itself to its knees before him.

[Narrator]

Clouds begin to roil in covering the.

[Gumgum]

Moonlight On a night not unlike the knight. The other members of the Slayer's take got word through whispers that the now unhinged Putridius ad absconded to the Dead Man's Table, an abnormally flat boulder in a clearing high within the Vesper Timberlands with a forbidden text in the Druid's possession, he attempted to enact a ritual to imbue himself with the power of decay itself. There was a horrible battle. Many of the take fell. But just as he was about to speak the final words of the ritual, the spirits of the forest lashed out against him, interrupting the magic and turning the blight back on the Druid. He was eaten away and disappeared, never to be seen again. Since that fateful night, nothing living can thrive or grow at the base of Dead Man's Table. And they say you can still hear the timber blight's horrible screams on the north wind. That was so good. Poops. How'd you make that noise?

[Narrator]

Poop. Poogs is not there and comes out from behind a tree at the far end of the meadow. Why is everybody looking at me?

[Gumgum]

Poogs, if that wasn't you that made the noise. Timpani turns and looks up the mountain.

[Narrator]

Everybody make a perception check.

[Timpani Guff]

2018.

[Frog]

Six, seven.

[Narrator]

Through the trees there is a loud booming sound and the forest is suddenly illuminated with a soft violet light. And then Farah and Idrin look behind them and notice trees coming down in the wake of an enormous avalanche.

[Gumgum]

Everybody run.

[Narrator]

The re Slayer's take is a meta Pigeon production in partnership with and distributed by Critical Role Productions Developed in association with Hero Club Game Mastered and produced by George Primavera and Nick Williams Featuring Nick Williams as Timpani Guff George Primavera as Poogs Jasmine Bular as Hera Agnihart Jasmine Xiong as Farah, Gabriel Hicks as Edrin Shadowstep and Caroline Luxembourg as Frog. Also featuring Hannah Feigerbachi as the grocer and Matthew McCollum as Derek the accountant. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time.