Tales from the Stinky Dragon

"Tavern Tales – Infantnights: Part One – The Quarter-Pint Quest"

Release Date: September 24, 2025
Host/DM: John Reisinger (and the Stinky Dragon crew)
Setting: The town of Boulderay, a suburban fantasy neighborhood seen through the eyes of "toddler" versions of the regular Stinky Dragon heroes (an affectionate send-up reminiscent of 'Muppet Babies').

Episode Overview

The Stinky Dragon team throws a charming, laugh-out-loud Dungeons & Dragons live-play adventure, reimagining their seasoned fantasy characters as rambunctious, barely-potty-trained toddlers. This "Tavern Tale"—performed for their YouTube anniversary live stream—delivers goofy play, pun-filled riddles, light puzzles, and plenty of improvisational antics. The core quest: help the so-called “Infant Knights” find the perfect birthday present for their friend Mud, which leads them from a backyard treehouse across the neighborhood and down into mysterious, squishy-catacombed, candy-littered dungeons.

This episode is part one of a two-part story, with the adventure’s resolution reserved for Patreon supporters.

Table of Contents

• Opening & Introduction [02:09]
• Meet the Infant Knights [06:41]
• Party Formation: Birthday Quest [11:20]
• Visit to Lady Siltmeyer & The Riddle Challenge [21:58]
• Journey to Boulderay Park [40:07]
• First Encounter: Brink Tussler and The Playground Hatch [48:53]
• Down the Hatch: The Sandbox Catacombs [60:05]
• The Color Tile Puzzle Room [66:53]
• Tunnel of Choices: Whispers & Hums [93:36]
• Jelly Bean Riddle & Bridge to the Burrow Box [105:04]
• The Burrow Box Battle: Stuffy Drun Appears! [119:40]
• Cliffhanger Ending & Next Time on Infantnights [169:02]
• Notable Quotes & Highlights

Opening & Introduction [02:09]

John Reisinger opens with gratitude and pride—celebrating the Stinky Dragon's one-year anniversary as an independent business. The team hypes up their Patreon, new merch, and gets ready for "the most people we've ever had play at once!" (Expect chaos.)

"It's insane that we were able to all lose our jobs in one fell swoop, and then... hit the ground running with our own company." — John Reisinger [02:09]

Meet the Infant Knights [06:41]

Scene-setting: the classic suburban backyard in Boulderay, crowned with a makeshift, rule-laden treehouse fort ("HEROES only. NO baddies. Aloud."). Inside, the party squabbles over who's in charge:

• Bart (halfling toddler): Stout, orange-haired, bossy.
• Elf boy: Lanky, acrobatic, "leader" complex.
• Gum Gum (half-orc): Youngest, wears a newspaper hat and patchwork diaper, loves delegating.
• Sleek (dwarven child): Arrives with a wooden lute, sweaty from searching for a lost arrow as part of a pointless quest sent by the others.

Classic D&D party banter—but with more giggling, bumbling, and poorly executed "backflips."

"I am the boss of this place." — Bart [06:41]

Party Formation: Birthday Quest [11:20]

The players decide it's Mud's birthday—surprise!—and realize they need a gift. Sleek marked his return by presenting the aforementioned arrow as a gift, to little fanfare. The gang observes uninvited “partygoers” arriving—a tiny kobold and a lizardfolk (Hairless Hutch, "Dr. Ahem"). Hilarity ensues.

Physical comedy (jumping from the treehouse: "Gum Gum jumps down off the treehouse and starts grabbing Mud from the dirt." — Gum Gum [12:09]) and a running motif of making mischief as clueless toddlers punctuate this section.

Visit to Lady Siltmeyer & The Riddle Challenge [21:58]

The party (now six strong) sets out to Mud's aunt, Lady Siltmeyer—a venerable firbolg with a magical garden. She promises to help, but only if they solve "plant-based riddles" (think: pun-laden, dad-joke central).

Highlighted riddles and responses:

• "What is a frog's favorite flower?" "Crocus!" — Lady Siltmeyer [26:03]
• "What kind of flower grows on your face?" "Tulips!" — Lady Siltmeyer [27:46]
• "What kind of tree can fit into your hand?" "A palm tree." — Bart [28:21]
• "What vegetable rings when you shake it?" "Bell pepper!" — Lady Siltmeyer [34:02]

Each successful riddle edges Siltmeyer closer to recalling "the perfect gift": the legendary Burrow Box, hidden beneath the Boulderay Park playground.

She gifts the party three "dirty canvases" that "will help you when you need them." (Cue Chekhov’s gun.)

Journey to Boulderay Park [40:07]

The party navigates the streets—facing travel mishaps/hijinks:

• Hutch eats a hairy old gumdrop, gaining disadvantage from a sugar rush.
• Sleek steps in fresh pavement and is stuck at half speed (cement boots!).
• Gum Gum is distracted by a butterfly; rescued by Bart, who uses a reflective foil “butterfly” to lure him onward.

Neighborhood lore pops up (warnings about "Hugh Manor" the local delinquent), a classic suburban D&D flavor.

First Encounter: Brink Tussler and The Playground Hatch [48:53]

At the playground, they find the "burrow": a hatch in the sandbox with "Do not open. Seriously." scribbled on it. As Sleek attempts to cast “finger guns” on the hatch, the schoolyard tyrant Brink Tussler appears, slinging sand, mockery, and his classic goblin goon posse.

Teamwork and hilarity ensue as:

• Hairless Hutch tries to help using a canvas square (it does nothing).
• Sleek casts the "rumor" bard spell, spreading: "Brink pooped his pants in math class last semester" across the playground. ("You want to try that description again?" — John, as Sleek bumbles the reading [55:54]: crowd whispers and giggles about "Brink the pants-pooper".)

The party uses distraction, animal handling, and stealth to escape Brink and his gang—and slip into the sandbox hatch.

Down the Hatch: The Sandbox Catacombs [60:05]

They descend through a hidden tunnel into the dark, candy-encrusted, and block-fortified world beneath the sandbox: “the under sandbox.” Illuminated by a glowing mushroom, they face a refrigerator box door adorned with a stylized “cool S”—confirming the adventure’s nostalgia-core for listeners of a certain age.

The Color Tile Puzzle Room [66:53]

Inside, they're stymied by a grid of magical, color-coded tiles; an ominous voice warns them:
"Step with care and mind your stride. The wrongest step will make you slide..."

They blunder through, with trial-and-error and a magical dirty canvas providing a cryptic riddle:
"Begin where blush and bashful meet, step where sunshine warms your feet..."
Through a bit of deduction (and some failed launches via "catapult" spell), Sleek and others realize the correct tile sequence: Red > Yellow > Blue > Green > Purple.

Tunnel of Choices: Whispers & Hums [93:36]

Next, six tunnels, each with different ambient sounds (whistling, giggling, water drips, scurrying, wind chimes, bees). Another dirty canvas yields a riddle:
"Step with stillness, calm and true, our shadows come to swallow you. Echoes lie and giggles roam, but hums will guide the soul back home."

Guessing, the party heads into the tunnel “with the bees”—“hums”—and is instantly teleported to the next chamber.

Jelly Bean Riddle & Bridge to the Burrow Box [105:04]

In a room saturated with the scent of stale, sugary candy, the party faces a table with four massive jelly beans (red, yellow, green, black). A canvas clue reveals:

• "One is spicy but makes you freeze. Another so sweet it sparks a sneeze. One tastes burnt, but makes you sore. The best is sour; it opens the door."

Gum Gum correctly picks yellow (sour lemon), and a magic door appears.

The Burrow Box Battle: Stuffy Drun Appears! [119:40]

The final chamber: the Burrow Box (shaped like a badger head) is perched atop a throne of squishmallow “pillows." As Gum Gum lifts it, the pile coalesces into the monstrous STUFFY DRUN: a four-armed, dragon-headed, squeaky-bellowing beast.

Notable rounds:

• Bart insults Stuffy Drun to psychic effect:

  "You're not as soft as you look!" — Bart (using Dissonant Whispers, sending Stuffy Drun fleeing) [129:49]

• Kyborg circles behind and (with a motivational Independence Day-style speech from Sleek) discovers an “X” of Velcro on Stuffy Drun’s butt, slashing it open and releasing a flood of stuffing in the climactic finish:

  “Go fluff yourself.” — Kyborg (attacking the Velcro) [166:05]

• The teamwork (bardic inspirations, healing with "the power of hair," and gripping improvisations) is top-notch.

Cliffhanger Ending & Next Time on Infantnights [169:02]

As Gum Gum picks up the newly acquired Burrow Box, the chamber shakes and a wall cracks, pouring in sand until all are up to their shins—

"That's a good question to be answered in Part Two of this adventure, just only available for our patrons. All tiers will have access…" — John Reisinger [169:09]

The story cuts off on a literal rising tide, urging listeners to catch “Part Two” via Patreon.

Notable Quotes & Highlights

• On the non-canonical, toddler setting:

  "This is not a canonical story of these characters when they're babies... This is the alternate reality version of the Infinites. Like Muppet Babies." — John [16:03]

• On the ‘dirty canvases’:

  "These will help you when you need them." — Lady Siltmeyer [35:19]

• Metagaming with gusto:

  "Did you know that Velcro, I think, was invented in Canada?" — Gum Gum (in the heat of battle...) [163:34]

• Riddle madness:

  "A human bean." — Hutch, earning Lady Siltmeyer's praise [33:37]

• Character moments:

  "I don't know if I've ever had a hug before." — Doctor Ahem [115:56]

• Goofiest spell use:

  "Finger guns" — Sleek (heroically… and then accidentally shooting at a party member) [134:12 & 135:15]

• Teamwork and camp:

  "We're the last line of defense. We're not gonna go quietly into the night..." — Sleek, quoting and riffing on Independence Day [164:18]

Standout Moments & Highlights

• Hysterical baby logic: “As my first order of being in charge, I want to put Bart in charge.” — Gum Gum [07:43]
• Sleek’s disastrous “elf shot” spell: “If I get rid of him now, I can become him.” [134:03]
• Real-life nostalgic references: Lincoln Logs, cool S, playground lore.
• Inspired teamwork: Multiple bardic inspirations, roleplaying injury (Hutch gets “sugar rush” disadvantage), "catapult" spell launching gum gum (who slams into an invisible barrier with cartoonish consequences).
• Wholesome chaos and actual D&D puzzle-solving, through the lens of creative, improvisational roleplaying.

Timestamped Key Segments

• Intro & Community Thanks: 02:09–04:42
• Treehouse Scene & Party Debate: 06:41–11:20
• Birthday Gift Realization: 12:09–17:37
• Lady Siltmeyer’s Riddles: 21:58–35:10
• Travel Mishaps: 37:28–40:07
• Brink Tussler’s Antagonism: 48:53–55:04
• Color Tile Puzzle: 66:53–85:18
• Jelly Bean Riddle Room: 105:04–111:22
• Stuffy Drun Boss Battle: 119:40–166:45
• Cliffhanger Ending / Patreon Plug: 169:02-end

Final Thoughts

This episode is a showcase of expert improvisation, clever D&D adaptations for a kid-themed one-shot, and whip-smart comedic banter, all wrapped up in a friendly, inviting package. Even without having heard the original, listeners will get a sense of the Stinky Dragon team's unique warmth, their affection for each other, and their commitment to delivering both genuine fantasy adventure and outright silliness.

To get the conclusion of this miniature, nostalgia-fueled epic, fans must tune into Part Two via the Stinky Dragon Patreon.

Want more?

• Stinky Dragon Patreon & Merch
• Stay tuned for future Tavern Tales and more actual-play hilarity!