Talking Toddlers – Ep 120 The 7 Stages of Play: Building Your Child’s Brain from Birth to Age 3
Host: Erin Hyer | September 9, 2025

Episode Overview

In this insightful episode, Erin Hyer, a licensed speech-language pathologist with 35 years of experience, breaks down the seven key stages of play from birth to age three. Erin emphasizes that understanding these stages is crucial for parents, caregivers, and educators, not only for tracking developmental milestones but for fostering essential human connection, communication, and brain growth in toddlers. She guides listeners through each play stage, connecting them to language development and practical family routines.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Importance of Play in Early Development

• Play is foundational: Erin underlines that play is not "just" for entertainment; it's a critical mechanism by which babies and toddlers build communication skills, curiosity, and cognition.
• Human connection first: Before children speak, they build nonverbal communication habits through play, which then scaffold into verbal skills.

The Seven Stages of Play (Linked to Language Growth)

1. Exploratory Play

(Birth/3-4 weeks to ~8 months) – [03:23]

• Babies adjust to the world through sensory and motor exploration (e.g., mouthing, grabbing, waving).
• Parent tip: Let babies safely explore a variety of objects and environments.
• Quote: "It’s important that this exploration is really supported in your everyday exchanges... that's their primary mode of data collection." (A, 05:08)

2. Non-Functional Play

(~8–12 months) – [06:56]

• Focus shifts from mouthing to manipulating objects: banging, throwing, turning.
• Child starts to grasp object permanence and cause-and-effect.
• Early nonverbal gestures and simple word use appear.
• Quote: "They’re really honing their human connection through verbal and nonverbal tasks. But it’s through play and it’s really beginning to understand you." (A, 09:28)

3. Functional Play

(~12–15 months) – [09:56]

• Understands functional use of objects (e.g., bowl for mixing, trains on tracks).
• Greater trial and error learning and recognition of differences (e.g., triangle vs. circle).
• Words begin to connect to actions, objects, and requests.

4. Early Symbolic Play

(~17–18 months) – [13:30]

• Begins pretending (e.g., using a block as a phone, mixing in a bowl).
• Gestures become more symbolic—waving, blowing kisses, clapping.
• Nonverbal gestures support early word production.
• Quote: “The actions and gestures in symbolic play will support the early single word production too... all those gestural play, symbolic play, help support—and then the speech comes with it, right?” (A, 00:00 & 14:50)

5. Combining Actions and Familiar Routines

(~19–22 months) – [17:41]

• Several different play actions emerge, modeled after daily routines (e.g., laundry, food prep).
• Imitates adults in household tasks and starts sequencing multiple steps.
• Reduces pressure to perform on specific "academic" tasks and focuses on learning through action.

6. Expanding Play Routines

(~24–30 months) – [19:20]

• Develops understanding of multi-step routines (e.g., bathing a baby doll, cooking pretends).
• Big leap in language: phrases and sentences emerge, vocabulary rapidly expands.
• Begins to answer and ask WH-questions (“why,” “how,” not just “what” or “where”).
• Quote: "By the time a child is 30 months, 34 months, 36 months, they're really having conversational flow. And that's important." (A, 20:35)

7. Early Role Play & Simple Rule-Based Games

(~30–36 months) – [22:22]

• Takes on roles (doctor, teacher, etc.) and starts grasping games with rules, turn-taking.
• Imagination and empathy expand. Child can discuss possible solutions or reasons (“What would you do if you were cold?”).
• Emphasizes problem-solving, not memorization.
• Quote: "Their imagination is expanding and they're thinking... Imagination and curiosity really drive their higher order thinking.” (A, 23:00)
• Parent tip: Encourage play-based learning, not just academic drills.

Practical Strategies for Parents

• Meet them where they are: Support your child’s current developmental stage, even if it doesn’t align with exact age expectations.
• Include toddlers in real life: Involve them in chores and daily tasks—they model what they experience and it drives language and social development.
• Human interaction over screens: Erin stresses real-life engagement over digital content for language and cognitive growth.
• Watch and listen: Sometimes it’s more important to observe your child’s play than quiz them on facts or vocabulary.
• Encourage pretend and role play: These nurture imagination, empathy, and higher-level thinking.
• Support with time and patience: Repetition in routines builds knowledge and confidence.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On nonverbal before verbal:
  “The first 12, 14, 16, 18 months are really building strong nonverbal communication that has to be laid down before they really start using those first words…” (A, 01:40)
• On everyday opportunities:
  “You are helping him… differentiate between a toy item that you can explore and food. That is a different satisfaction.” (A, 05:47)
• On language explosion:
  “By their third birthday, they're having full-fledged conversations and answering why questions or tell me all the steps you need to brush your teeth.” (A, 25:18)
• On screens vs. human connection:
  "A screen, a video online will never, ever, ever replace what he or she can foster by human connection and human engagement." (A, 25:40)
• On play-based learning:
  “We don’t want a 2 year old or a 3 year old just to memorize facts... We want them by three to have conversations with us.” (A, 23:35)

Time-Stamped Episode Roadmap

• [00:00] Symbolic play and connection to early words
• [01:14] Why understanding play stages matters for all caregivers
• [03:23] Stage 1: Exploratory Play
• [06:56] Stage 2: Non-Functional Play
• [09:56] Stage 3: Functional Play
• [13:30] Stage 4: Early Symbolic Play
• [17:41] Stage 5: Combining Play Actions and Routines
• [19:20] Stage 6: Expanding Play Routines & Questions
• [22:22] Stage 7: Early Role Play & Games With Rules
• [25:17] How vocabulary and conversation develop by age three
• [25:40] Human connection vs. screen time, practical encouragement

Tone and Language

Erin’s tone is warm, empowering, and practical. She reassures parents that uncertainty is normal, offers actionable steps, and grounds advice in both scientific understanding and relatable examples from daily life.

Final Thoughts from Erin

• Start early—don’t wait for challenges to emerge.
• Play is the work of children; support it intentionally at every stage.
• "Go where your child is developmentally and help them step up to the next one." (A, 25:55)

For more detailed developmental charts and tips, Erin promises a resource linked in the show description.
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