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- [00:00]
A
I do believe that men don't communicate as well as women do. I would say that's factual. But I think the biggest problem with women is that they look everywhere except one place where all the good men are hiding. The friend zone.
- [00:11]
B
No one has ever said that to me before, but sometimes.
- [00:13]
A
Don't you want like a fast, passionate, fiery hot relationship?
- [00:16]
B
Okay, that too. But like, it can't be too fast. I still need to like have two days without seeing you and then you wanting to see me. Like, I like that kind of cat and mouse for a little bit. It keeps you intrigued. It keeps itself sexy. It keeps you wanting more. What makes a girl like you are.
- [00:31]
A
Good if you can.
- [00:46]
B
Everybody. And welcome back to Tall Blonde. Welcome, Ricky.
- [00:50]
A
Thank you.
- [00:50]
B
Who is your pal, Ricky?
- [00:53]
A
I like to define myself as a fun dude. Fun cool dude. I'm a. I'm a great uncle. I'm a good son, a good brother, a good friend, a great friend. Actually, I own a pickleball team, which is random. I do content. Which if you recognize my face, you probably see me on TikTok. I'm assuming your audience is very similar to mine.
- [01:10]
B
They probably love you. Because I was describing this to people. I was like, I think Ricky is the literal picture of lover boy. When people think of a lover boy, they think of you. You post with your mom, you post with kids, you post quotes, like sappy things that show that you're still like soft for girls and women and you're not that toxic, man. Would you say that you're a lover boy?
- [01:32]
A
Oh, yeah, 100%.
- [01:33]
B
Because that's how I see it when I look at your social.
- [01:36]
A
I love love. And I think it's. I think it's okay to be soft and it's okay to not be like super macho man, like, tough guy. I think that's a load of shit. Like, I'm okay being soft. I have no problem with it. And people like, oh, like you cry or whatever. It's like, yeah, I've cried. I got dumped. I cried. Like, no big deal. I've also ran a marathon. I've also done an ironman. I also look better than majority of men I know. So yeah, you want to call me soft? Fine, go do the things I did and then see what soft is.
- [02:01]
B
Exactly. You're like, I'll show you.
- [02:03]
A
Yeah, I'll show you. Exactly. You want to say, oh, being a macho man, you got to do all these tough things. It's like, I've done tough things. Doesn't make you tough.
- [02:09]
B
Yeah, I remember you asked me one day, you're like, do you want to do a. What was it, 10k with something? And I was like, on a Saturday? No. But then you're still out on the weekends, dude. Having fun.
- [02:21]
A
I. I've told the story recently. So one of my goals this year was to run six half marathons and one full marathon.
- [02:27]
B
Holy.
- [02:27]
A
Okay, so my full marathon, I decided to do the Toronto marathon. And I didn't really train for it, but I'm in, you know, fairly good shape and I run occasionally. So the night before, I had Canadian art and fashion award show, and I'd never been invited to it before, so I was like, okay, cool. I got invited. You know, it's a cool thing for me to do. So I went. Didn't know a single person there showed up. I felt underdressed, even though I was wearing, like, a normal nice suit. I looked nice, but everyone's like, how.
- [02:54]
B
Underdressed I was in a suit.
- [02:55]
A
But the problem is, like, everybody's in, like, cool, cool outfits. Like, everyone's looking fashion. Yeah. And I'm in, like, a generic, like, me suit.
- [03:03]
B
You're in, like, the Toronto compared to New York.
- [03:05]
A
Yeah. Yeah. Very good. Way to put it. So fast forward. I get there, I just start drinking because I'm like, I'm clearly out of place. Let me just have some drinks and that'll help. Yeah, right? So I go to the bar, make friends at the bar. I'm drinking, taking shots, and then it hits me at like 11:30. I'm like, I need to run a fucking marathon tomorrow. I am a bottle of wine deep. Like, six drinks deep. I'm like, holy fuck. So I walk home, chug like three bottles of water, take two Tylenols, realize I don't have my fucking running shoes. I'm about to run a marathon. I don't have my main running shoes. I call my mom at, like, midnight. I was like, mom, where were you?
- [03:34]
B
Where was.
- [03:34]
A
I was downtown in my condo, and my mom lives in Vaughan. And I was like, mom, are my running shoes at your house? Like, I don't remember my last run. Like, I don't remember. She's like, yeah, they're here. I was like, can you Uber package them down? She's like, I don't have to do. I'm like, are you coming downtown tomorrow to watch it? She's like, yeah, meet me at the halfway mark. So I met my mom at the halfway mark. Like, I met her at the 15k market. What did you run in before like, my gym shoes.
- [03:56]
B
Okay, so you had shoes like, I'm running, like.
- [03:58]
A
So I'm not running like jays or anything, but I was running in, like, my gym shoes, which.
- [04:02]
B
Well, the way I figured it was you're running in your suit shoes.
- [04:05]
A
No. No. Okay, come on. Yeah. No, I'm not running. I'm not running a lot.
- [04:09]
B
I heard you were at an event.
- [04:10]
A
No, no, I went home. I still slept left. Like, I live downtown.
- [04:14]
B
You were somewhat.
- [04:15]
A
Yeah, like. But anyone who runs knows that, like, you have your shoes.
- [04:18]
B
Okay.
- [04:19]
A
It's like, I don't know, going out without lipstick for you.
- [04:22]
B
It's like your. You need these shoes to do.
- [04:24]
A
So I went out, had a crazy night and ended up running a marathon the next day and, like, still went out after the marathon.
- [04:29]
B
So that is the most balanced.
- [04:31]
A
Yeah.
- [04:32]
B
Statement ever.
- [04:32]
A
Yeah.
- [04:33]
B
Even though you didn't anticipate to get, you know, tipsy or drunk.
- [04:36]
A
Yeah, I didn't. I didn't mean to. It just kind of happened.
- [04:38]
B
And you. You made it to that race.
- [04:40]
A
And I believe that everything in life is everything in moderation. Everything is about balance. I go out, I play hard, I work hard. I do the best of both worlds, and I do both of them to the absolute extreme.
- [04:51]
B
I think that is where we are very similar because I do everything to the extreme as well, I think.
- [04:59]
A
Oh, I see. I see you sometimes. I see you shaking it on Instagram late at night and the next morning on your walk to the gym. What's your gym? Common Ground, is it?
- [05:07]
B
Common Ground?
- [05:08]
A
Common Ground. I see you. We see. The only difference is you're still young.
- [05:12]
B
Yeah.
- [05:12]
A
Once you come to my age, you're going to realize that it's not as easy anymore.
- [05:16]
B
But you still do it.
- [05:17]
A
I still do it. Yeah.
- [05:18]
B
So that's a talent in itself.
- [05:19]
A
It's one of my very few talents in this world.
- [05:21]
B
And that's totally okay because you have one in this.
- [05:24]
A
I found my. That is it.
- [05:26]
B
Okay. So I want to get into social media and dating because I know that you do post a lot about dating as well, and I know that. I think that's where we separate in our thoughts, is we have, I think, a little bit of a different view on dating right now and what's going on out there and how to.
- [05:43]
A
I want to ask you this, Sarah, actually, because you. You do single dating for where you are like a. A figure for the females. The single figure for the female. Yeah. And I. Even though I'm, I guess, a single male, my audience is still female too. So.
- [05:53]
B
Oh, perfect.
- [05:53]
A
Yeah, we're aligned. What do you think the dating scene is like in Toronto?
- [05:58]
B
I think the dating scene in Toronto is horrible. I think the dating scene could use so much work. I think we should have a workshop every Monday to Thursday. And just for men, though. I think the girls are doing great, but I think the men need to take a seat. I know there's a lot of people in Toronto. I think we could have. Every Tuesday is people from Yorkville. Every Wednesday is people from King Street. King Street.
- [06:23]
A
You've thought about this?
- [06:24]
B
I've thought about it all and I'm like, let me have a bit of a study session, because I can teach, but they just have to be open to listen, you know? So horrible.
- [06:33]
A
Okay.
- [06:33]
B
But not as bad as New York at all, by any means.
- [06:35]
A
Do you know what? I've actually heard? New York's really bad, too.
- [06:37]
B
Okay.
- [06:38]
A
But why do you think it's so bad in Toronto?
- [06:40]
B
I think that there is just like New York in any big city. You have so much. There's more women wanting relationships than there are men. Correct. Can you agree with me on that?
- [06:50]
A
I would agree with that, yes.
- [06:52]
B
So there are more women looking for these relationships everywhere they go. At gyms, at the mall, out going to dinner or to bars or to clubs, whatever, they're all looking and they are seeking that validation from men, whereas men aren't looking for it. So they see these girls come onto them and they're like, oh, well, I could already get this girl last night and get this girl today. I don't really need it. So they're just dabbling when in reality, girls are trying to cling on to men. And it's just people aren't aligned. They aren't communicating about it. People aren't saying, you know, I, I like you, but this isn't the right time. So I don't want to ruin this. So I'm not going to toy with you.
- [07:28]
A
Yep, I believe that. Yeah. No, I agree with you in a lot, what you're saying. I do believe that men don't communicate as well as women do. That for sure is. I would say that's factual. I think one of the biggest problems with women, though, and I'm not trying to attack my own audience here, but I think the biggest problem with women is that they look everywhere except one place where all the good men are hiding.
- [07:49]
B
Where the hell are all the good men hiding?
- [07:50]
A
The friend zone.
- [07:52]
B
But, oh, wow.
- [07:54]
A
It's like, oh, okay. So here's. Here's what I think.
- [08:00]
B
No One has ever said that to me before.
- [08:01]
A
So there's no correct answer, by the way. Like, someone could say Toronto is great for dating. Some people can say it's shit. Some people could say New York is good, some people can say New York is shit. At the end of the day, it's, it's all depends on where you are and what you're doing. Like, there were times where I thought dating was really good in Toronto, and I've met so many amazing people, yet here I am, still single. So people would say, ricky, if it's so good, then why didn't, why don't you have anybody? And I'm looking for a very specific person. Even my ex wasn't from the city, she was from la. So I went elsewhere, I found those.
- [08:33]
B
You're looking elsewhere.
- [08:34]
A
See, but at the same time, I know so many good men that like women and they're stuck in the friend zone because that's where the women have placed these men.
- [08:42]
B
So why do you think they place them there?
- [08:44]
A
Do you think it's, do you know why? Because sometimes I think women want more than they're willing to give.
- [08:50]
B
Explain that.
- [08:50]
A
So I think sometimes. And men do the same. It's not just a woman thing. But because you said that, you know, women or whatever, I think sometimes women want the tall, handsome rich dude who's got no kids and has a good job and has all this, well, that's exactly what I want, which is fair enough. And maybe you bring a lot to the table, but I know a lot of women who want that, but don't bring a lot to the table.
- [09:11]
B
And what is not bringing a lot to the table? Do you mean like they don't want to work and pay the bills as well?
- [09:15]
A
It's not about paying the bills, but it's just like, yo, if you want someone that's six foot tall, good looking, got money, got car, no kids, no ex baggage, well, are you tall? Are you beautiful? Are you coming into this relationship with no previous drama? Are you driven, are you successful? Are you willing to put in the work and do all these other things?
- [09:34]
B
But even if they are, majority of the times, if any athlete, a lot of them fit that description, they won't settle for just one cheat on you regardless.
- [09:44]
A
So again, you're also. Now we're, we're, we're not talking about normal people anymore. Athletes are, and I mean this respectfully. There's no, there are a lot of good athletes out there that aren't cheaters. There are some 100% agree to disagree. There are some that are good people, but then there are a lot that are just gonna abuse the system. Okay, so I'm not hating on athletes because, you know, I know some athletes that are really good and I know some that are engaged to their wives and don't cheat or engage with their girlfriends, fiance, whatever, that don't cheat, that are good dudes. But then on the flip side, I also know some women who are maybe not athletes, but let's say social media stars, which is the equivalent, you know, Instagram models, whatever that. Yeah. That cheat on their boyfriends. So it goes both ways, you know.
- [10:26]
B
Like, I do get what you're saying.
- [10:28]
A
Neither side is, is perfect in this.
- [10:30]
B
And I. But like, why do you think that girls put guys into the friend zone? Like, why do you think they're there to begin?
- [10:37]
A
I don't know. Let's ask you this. Why'd you put certain men into the friend zone?
- [10:39]
B
Because I'm not attracted to them in that way.
- [10:41]
A
So you know, the. I don't know what the theory is called, but like the workplace relationships, like how they start, it's like when you hang out with someone so much and you realize you see past their physical appearance and you learn to develop feelings for their inner beauty and you like, kind of ignore their. The lack of physical attraction at the beginning. I don't know what that theory is called, but there's definitely a name for it. But do you think that maybe sometimes you're just looking for that physical attraction and you're, you're kind of putting that too high on the, on the hierarchy list?
- [11:10]
B
I just don't think that I could go for someone that I'm not physically attracted to, which is fair.
- [11:14]
A
I'm the same way. Physical attraction is near the top of.
- [11:17]
B
My wants, but I also don't think I could go for someone that isn't my vibe. And by vibe I mean like laughs at the same jokes as I do, has the same values as I do.
- [11:28]
A
Likes the same memes.
- [11:29]
B
Uh huh. Exactly oriented. Laugh at the things that I'm gonna send them away.
- [11:32]
A
So Sarah, let me. Are you single?
- [11:33]
B
Absolutely.
- [11:34]
A
What are you looking for in a man?
- [11:36]
B
I'm looking for. I was going to ask you your ideal.
- [11:39]
A
I can take turns.
- [11:40]
B
Okay. My ideal man. And I, I am very picky.
- [11:44]
A
So when you, when you edit this, I want to track her. How many things she says this is going to be.
- [11:48]
B
Might be a while.
- [11:49]
A
How many tics we have here.
- [11:50]
B
So essentially I'm not looking for a man because right Now I have so much going on in my life that I'm not looking. But if I were looking, my man would be over 6:1.
- [12:03]
A
But you're also tall, so that's fair. Which is very fair.
- [12:06]
B
And then they would need to be. I always go for the same type. I go for dark features. I like scruff. I like a light skin or a white boy, but they have to have a little bit of color. Okay. I also like. I like a big back. So, like, I like, like, a broad shoulder because I want to feel tiny, you know, I go to the gym. I try. I want to feel like that, you know?
- [12:27]
A
You want to feel girly. Yeah.
- [12:30]
B
And they need to be working hard. Like, they need to be working harder than me.
- [12:34]
A
Okay.
- [12:35]
B
And, like, chasing after their dreams.
- [12:37]
A
Okay.
- [12:38]
B
Because I want to be going up with someone and not someone to be holding me down, which is very fair. And they need to be okay with being in. Well, what really affects my dating life is me talking about dating online.
- [12:49]
A
Okay. Which is very fair because people ask me the same thing. They said, how do you find relationships knowing that you talk about dating online? One piece of advice for you, because I've been, I guess, talking about dating online longer than you have maybe, is when you talk about dating, give it like a month buffer. Never mention anything.
- [13:07]
B
The rage isn't there.
- [13:08]
A
Yeah, I get it. I get it. So maybe you have more rage. I have no rage when it comes to dating. I'm, like, such a happy dater.
- [13:14]
B
I'm not perfect by any means, but I kind of like my rage. People like my rage.
- [13:19]
A
I mean, it's not. As long as you like it, that's all that matters.
- [13:23]
B
Okay. Your ideal woman. Let's go. I love to hear it.
- [13:26]
A
Fuck. I was expecting yours to be a lot longer, to be honest.
- [13:29]
B
Well, like, it was pretty generic because, like.
- [13:33]
A
Mine'S fairly easy. Like, I don't have a specific type in terms of physical appearance. As long as they're, like, beautiful inside and out, I believe, like, oh, yeah. Anyone who says. Anyone who says physical attraction doesn't matter. It does for me. At least. It does if I don't want to fuck my partner at 34 years old. Imagine what happens when we're 60.
- [13:49]
B
Oh, my gosh.
- [13:50]
A
And, like, I believe sexual chemistry is a huge part of a relationship, so I agree. Beautiful inside, in, out. I want someone who's caring, someone who's loving, someone who's sincere and genuine, someone who's confident in not only themselves, but in me and our relationship. There's nothing Worse than having someone who's. Who doesn't believe in your relationship. Like, that's so.
- [14:06]
B
Confidence is so. I didn't. But it's so true.
- [14:09]
A
Someone like you said, who's driven. Someone who wants to metaphorically take over the world every single day. Like, when I wake up, I want to know that you are ready to rock and roll with me. And we can go to the coffee shop and brainstorm ideas on how to metaphorically take over.
- [14:21]
B
I want to be able to bounce things off of you. Yeah.
- [14:22]
A
Like my. And one thing I loved about my ex and I still love my Exist day. She's an amazing. Was the ex earlier this year.
- [14:28]
B
Okay.
- [14:28]
A
And we didn't date for a long time, but she had such a meaningful impact on my life because she wanted to metaphorically take over the world. It's like, wake up and say, what are we doing? Okay, let's go to the gym. Let's do this. Okay. I got this idea. I got this. And we were always just talking about ideas. We never talked about. We never spoke about people or gossip or drama or. It was always ideas. What are we doing next? Okay, let's plan our next vacation. Where are we going? What are we doing? Let's plan. Okay. Hey, I'm doing this. Content.
- [14:52]
B
This lady. Yeah, call her. Okay, we'll call her. That's fine.
- [14:55]
A
So it was always like, how do we. How do we move forward and take. Metaphorically take over the world? So I love that. Family oriented for me is huge. Is huge. And I know some people don't come from full families like I do, which is completely fine. But I want someone who wants a family, wants traditions, wants to spend holidays.
- [15:11]
B
Together, incorporate that into their lives.
- [15:13]
A
And if. If your family's not. Not whole, don't worry. Mine is. Come join mine. I got no problem. We will bring you into mine and treat you like one of our own. Someone who loves. I have a brother. Yeah. My nephew. Hello.
- [15:23]
B
Oh, yeah, sorry. Carry on.
- [15:24]
A
So someone who loves to travel. Someone who's like, okay with going crazy, but also okay with chilling. Someone who, like, literally is. I want someone who's like me, who.
- [15:34]
B
Literally can go down a bottle of wine and still wake up and run. Run.
- [15:38]
A
There's one thing I hate about my actually hated running.
- [15:39]
B
I was like, oh, that's.
- [15:40]
A
Even though I hate running too. I hate running. Everyone hates, but I will do it.
- [15:43]
B
Exactly.
- [15:43]
A
Yeah. So that's mine. I think my. My ticker list is bigger than hers.
- [15:47]
B
Your ticker list is bigger, but, like, you named some things that I didn't really think about because I thought this was me asking you all these questions.
- [15:52]
A
But you said, yeah, I put you on the spot.
- [15:53]
B
Which I love, though. It's great.
- [15:55]
A
I put you on the spot.
- [15:56]
B
I'm like, well, we're really getting into it. I got too long. I think I have, like, a note in my thing that's like, no, you.
- [16:02]
A
Don'T have a note of what you want. You have a note of the ick.
- [16:05]
B
Yes, that's what I have. I have a huge. I believe in the icks. But, like.
- [16:09]
A
So give me your number one biggest ick for a man.
- [16:11]
B
My number one biggest before I just.
- [16:13]
A
Make sure you don't insult me right here.
- [16:14]
B
No, it's someone that can't. Okay, but, like, dating icks. Or just in boys in general.
- [16:20]
A
Let's say date. We'll do.
- [16:23]
B
I don't know, because I'm thinking so many in my head.
- [16:26]
A
She's going through the listener notes. She got the ones for men, the one for K. Give me your biggest. Give me your biggest dating ick. So you're on a date with a man that you like. What shuts the date off right away.
- [16:37]
B
If, like, they can't order or, like, they're just. It's like you're insecure a bit. Like you. You're not. I want a manly man. I want someone that's like. I like. If you're just like, oh, like, whatever's sitting there and you don't really. You can't really speak or even make eye contact. Waiter. I'm like, you're the man. Hello. You know.
- [16:55]
A
Okay.
- [16:56]
B
Put me in my feminine energy.
- [16:57]
A
I agree with that. That's a. That is. That's a fair one. Yeah, I agree with that.
- [17:01]
B
You thought I was gonna say something whack.
- [17:03]
A
To be honest, I didn't know what to expect from this answer. Yeah, I was expecting something ridiculous. That answer wasn't ridiculous. I kind of agree.
- [17:10]
B
I have some that are ridiculous.
- [17:11]
A
I think you would. And I was on. I was on the Girls Next Door podcast, and one of the girls said, when a man runs with a knapsack on that too.
- [17:19]
B
Oh, my God.
- [17:19]
A
I was just like, what the fuck?
- [17:20]
B
I saw it and I can't see it.
- [17:22]
A
I know. She told me when she goes. When a man signals but doesn't get into the lake, like, you know, when people don't let him in, and I'm just like, what? Like, you ever drive in Toronto traffic? Sometimes.
- [17:33]
B
When, like, when I was younger, I made this tick tock, and it like, blew up.
- [17:36]
A
When you were younger, you made the sale. TikTok's been around for like two or three years.
- [17:39]
B
I was like, when I was like 21, I was like, three years ago.
- [17:42]
A
Okay, okay.
- [17:43]
B
Three years ago, I made this TikTok and I was talking about some of my biggest icks and it just happened that a guy was running after a ping pong ball from beer pong and it went up and I was like, so clearly the world agrees. You know, it's like when men are doing things that are supposed to be done dainty, like putting away cutlery from the dishwasher, like you putting it in, like, all trying to get each and every single one into the right thing. It's kind of like, okay, let me come in there and do.
- [18:08]
A
These are the ridiculous ones we're talking about.
- [18:10]
B
Exactly. I didn't want to give you a ridiculous.
- [18:12]
A
Okay, so the one you gave us is fair. Because I, I do believe men, especially on a day, if you're not confident, it's going to be tough. If you want a confident, like, high value woman, you have to be a high value man. I, I 100 agree with that. So you're not wrong. And if people disagree with that, like, I'd love to hear the other side of that because I know a lot of shy men. There's nothing wrong with being a shy man. Just don't expect to get an outgoing, strong female if you're quite shy man.
- [18:36]
B
Because what I've learned from stories of me and other people is men that aren't secure with themselves feel inferior from women that are stronger and more confident than them. If, let's say there.
- [18:51]
A
And that would never work. I would never.
- [18:52]
B
It would never work. And I had a relationship where he hated when I was online and hated when I was posting, getting attention or anyone noticed me because I could tell it made him feel inferior. So then he'd look for, you know, tough.
- [19:06]
A
Yeah.
- [19:06]
B
And he'd have, that's a tough one.
- [19:08]
A
Wait, have to hook up with someone. What the. What kind of relationship are you in?
- [19:11]
B
This was an article.
- [19:13]
A
No, but I, I would agree with that because I believe if you want someone who's outgoing, someone who's, you know, high energy, confident, you have to have those same attributes. I do believe opposites attract in a lot of sense, but not in that one.
- [19:27]
B
Like, opposites attract in a sense of like, one can be the loudest person in the room, the other one can be like, kind of quiet and reserved. That's the opposites can attract. You can't align on. Like, if you don't even know who you are or where you are in life, you can't be with someone that knows that. You can't be searching and discovering the world and whatever. If the other person is like, no, I'm having a 9 to 5 where I want to be and I want to make it at the top of this rank and do this, it's just never going to line.
- [19:52]
A
No. 100% agree. Because even me, like, I want to, again, metaphorically take over the world. And for those of you who don't get it, it's just like, I want to do things. I want to be doing the absolute most. I couldn't date someone who doesn't want to do that. Like, I need someone who's going to wake up and be like, what are we doing today? Yeah, okay, we're going to run a marathon to be active. Like, it's. I just want to be doing things. I can't sit at home. Okay. If I have a day off or sitting at home with, like, the love of my life. Cool. Great. I can binge watch every Harry Potter that known to man.
- [20:20]
B
Yeah.
- [20:20]
A
But like, one or two days, but that's it.
- [20:22]
B
Okay.
- [20:23]
A
Then it's like, after that, I'm ready to rock and roll. Let's take over the world.
- [20:25]
B
Okay, so you can have your. Like.
- [20:27]
A
Yeah, I can have my times. Yeah. I can have my calm again. Balance everything in moderation.
- [20:30]
B
Yeah.
- [20:31]
A
But my biggest dick, and I've said this so many times, is when women are rude to people they deem socially beneath them. So you're this. You're, you know, you're a social media sensation. You've got all these followers. If you're rude to some random girl because she's not as pretty as you and doesn't have as many followers as you, I'm, like, instantly, like, the most turned off. Or like, I went on a date.
- [20:53]
B
With a lawyer once.
- [20:54]
A
I went on a date with a lawyer once. Stunning, gorgeous, makes a ton of money. And a lawyer, too. Like, holy.
- [21:01]
B
Yeah.
- [21:02]
A
And she talked down to the waitress at the restaurant, and I was just like, it's a.
- [21:08]
B
No. No.
- [21:09]
A
Well, it's just like she. We were getting bad service. I get it.
- [21:12]
B
Cool.
- [21:12]
A
Great. Not the end of the world. We have decent company. And this was not like a first date. It was like a second or a third. It's like, we vibe, we get along.
- [21:18]
B
And then she's like, how was she being rude? Was she being.
- [21:20]
A
She got all snarky. Like, all those services so she. I was like, oh, I get that. But she's like, hey, can you come over here? I'm like, no. Please? No. Like, excuse me, do you mind? Like, it was just like, it's a little rude. Yeah. But then it's not even that. When, like, the server walked away, she was talking down about the server. To me, it's like, not about the service, about the person. At one point, I was like, do you know this girl? She's like, no. I was like, why do you hate her so much?
- [21:42]
B
Whoa.
- [21:42]
A
I was just like, what did she.
- [21:43]
B
Say when you said that?
- [21:44]
A
She said, oh, I don't hate her. But she's like, just like, come on. Like, it's such an easy job. You can't do this. I'm like, you don't know what's going on in this girl's life. They're like, chill the out.
- [21:52]
B
So you just don't like mean people, Yo.
- [21:54]
A
I hate mean people. But especially when people think they're better than someone else because they have a better education or they go. Especially the followers and money now. Like, followers and money. I have followers now, so I can talk as someone who has followers. Followers don't mean. Followers literally mean nothing.
- [22:10]
B
Well, they do help to make money online.
- [22:13]
A
They help to make money online, great. And if that's the business, and I'm in that business, too, I get it. But it literally means nothing at the end of the day. Like, when I go around. Yeah. When I go around telling people what I do or who I am, I'll never refer to the amount of followers I have.
- [22:26]
B
Yeah.
- [22:26]
A
I might be like, oh, I do social media. I got 800,000 followers. Like, barf.
- [22:30]
B
Yeah, I agree.
- [22:31]
A
So.
- [22:31]
B
And I also think that. I mean, making money off of it is great, but there's so many people that are trying to be. Do you wanna get that?
- [22:38]
A
No, no, I'm good.
- [22:39]
B
There's so many people that are trying to be famous on social media, so they're creating controversy or making themselves look bad and embarrassing themselves just to get this. I'm like, we're being a bit too real online now. Like, we're stepping boundaries of, like, you didn't need to literally show a picture of the girl that your ex cheated on you with so that we can. Your followers can all bash her. Like, we didn't need to be that explicit online. It can just be. Let's try to find your niche, whether it's fashion, lifestyle advice, whatever it is. And let's stick to that. We don't need to Try to blow up because we're bashing some girl online and social media.
- [23:16]
A
For anybody listening or want to know, social media is not hard. Like I've always. It's not hard, it's time consuming.
- [23:22]
B
It's.
- [23:23]
A
If you put in the time and you make three TikToks a day, every single day in the same niche for an entire year, you will grow a following. Whether that's 20,000, 50,000, 100,200, I'm 100% sure because I did it. What talent did I have? Absolutely none.
- [23:39]
B
What. What was your content when you started making it?
- [23:42]
A
Literally random shit at the beginning.
- [23:43]
B
Would you say your niche is now?
- [23:44]
A
Now Dating. Dating. And. Sorry, now my niches love dating. Relationships. I don't even know anymore. I come to my class.
- [23:55]
B
If I taught a dating class, I.
- [23:57]
A
Would come to support a friend.
- [23:59]
B
You don't think you need lessons?
- [24:00]
A
I don't think I need.
- [24:01]
B
Are you seeing anyone right now?
- [24:02]
A
No. I'm so fucking talking to anyone right now. No.
- [24:06]
B
Do you have a roster going?
- [24:07]
A
Zero roster. It's embarrassing.
- [24:09]
B
Zero. Like, not even Snapchatting people.
- [24:11]
A
I'm 34 years old. I don't Snapchat. I'm 34 years old. I don't Snapchat. People do it that I open Snapchat now because you want to see your.
- [24:20]
B
Four years ago memories?
- [24:21]
A
No, not even that. Because I'm trying to be a snapstar. Someone pitched me the idea that Snapchat.
- [24:26]
B
Influencers a lot of money.
- [24:28]
A
Everyone's been so every day I go on, I post my TikTok three.
- [24:30]
B
Three a week, three days.
- [24:31]
A
I'm trying to do it, but I hate Snapchat again. Instagram is my thing. I love Instagram. I'm like, I'm so. I have so many friends that I've never met that I've connected with on Instagram that I'm just like, yo, like, I love this. Like. And every time I go to new cities, I make new friends because of Instagram.
- [24:45]
B
So what, do you make more money on Instagram or Tick Tock?
- [24:49]
A
I think my split this year was. I think it was pretty much 50. 50. I was fairly fortunate. A lot of brands took both.
- [24:56]
B
Oh, really? That's great.
- [24:57]
A
But in the last couple months, I think, yeah, I'm almost 50. 50 actually.
- [25:01]
B
And you have a management.
- [25:02]
A
Yeah. So I'm with Wasserman. Shout out to Megan and Claire. Love you guys. And Delaney. Love you guys. And shout out to Jess, my girl. Jess, you're great. Love you.
- [25:08]
B
Give them all credit.
- [25:09]
A
Just my content Coordinator. It's.
- [25:11]
B
Oh my God.
- [25:12]
A
She does everything.
- [25:13]
B
Production.
- [25:13]
A
I have a full staff now. It's the best thing I've ever done in my entire life and I wish I did it sooner.
- [25:17]
B
And you should think about.
- [25:19]
A
Yeah, so I have a day job of normal. Full day job.
- [25:21]
B
That's great. Like nine to five.
- [25:22]
A
Yeah. Give or take.
- [25:24]
B
How much did you make, if you don't mind me asking? Ballpark. On social media in 2024.
- [25:29]
A
I had a really good year. I had a very good year. I made. I. The goal was to make 104 round numbers. Let's just say I doubled it.
- [25:39]
B
Wow.
- [25:40]
A
Yeah.
- [25:41]
B
Good for you.
- [25:42]
A
I did very fucking.
- [25:43]
B
And that's on top of your 9 to 5?
- [25:45]
A
Yes.
- [25:46]
B
How much time does it take you a day for social media?
- [25:50]
A
I spend about probably an hour and a half a day.
- [25:53]
B
An hour and a half. Does that include your podcast or. No?
- [25:56]
A
No, not including podcasts.
- [25:57]
B
And do you edit your own podcasts?
- [25:58]
A
Sometimes.
- [25:59]
B
Do you edit your own content?
- [26:01]
A
Very rarely. Now. Now my content is, if it's in the car, anything that's made in the car. Any like cheap, Any quick edits.
- [26:09]
B
I'll do a couple of your last ones.
- [26:11]
A
Anything that's like overly edited is just now.
- [26:13]
B
Okay.
- [26:13]
A
But before I used to do everything on my own.
- [26:15]
B
For how long?
- [26:16]
A
About two years.
- [26:17]
B
Wow.
- [26:17]
A
But my first year doing content full time, I literally. I've told the story before too. I had an app, the app shut down and I was. I maybe had. It was called Cast. Did I know you back then? Maybe I didn't. Anyways, it was a social voting app, essentially meant where you.
- [26:30]
B
Yes, you did. I know this. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So it was like years ago.
- [26:34]
A
Yeah, yeah. Four years ago. Three. Four years ago. So I brought maybe 10,000 on Instagram at the time and 40,000 on TikTok. And I was like, hey, I got this far. Let me see what I can do with this. I read an ebook, a 10 page ebook, how to be an influencer 101 or something that's. Read this. I'm like, this job seems too fucking easy. It's time consuming. But I spent an entire year, I think I made a thousand TikToks in 2022. Like literally every Saturday I would go to my family house because they have really good lighting and my condo is terrible lighting. I'd go to my family house and I'd make like 20 to 30 TikToks. And there'd be some days where like a new trend would come up. I'm like that trend's really good. I would drive after work to my family home just because I get the lighting dedication and I would make the trend. And I made at least a thousand tick tocks in one year. And I went from I know 40, 000 to like 150 that year. And then, then slowly started growing a little bit by little bit. Then this year obviously like six months ago, eight months ago, whenever it was like just got like. I think I grew like I don't know. 400000 followers this year.
- [27:31]
B
Wow. On Tick Tock.
- [27:32]
A
I mean between inside and Tick tock probably give or take. Give or take. 350000 followers. Probably.
- [27:36]
B
Good for you. That's amazing.
- [27:38]
A
I was very fortunate. I got lucky. You know, my niche is very decided and it's something that everybody can relate.
- [27:43]
B
You were clearly working on it every single again.
- [27:45]
A
For any not talent. I have no talent. My talent is that I can all the secrets. I can work harder than anybody when I set my mind to it. I set my mind that I wanted to do X, Y and Z this year on social media and I did X, Y and Z on social media and I put the everyone sees now the followers. But if people forget the like the crappy lip singing trends I did like two years ago. All my friends used to make fun of me. All my friends used to make fun of me. They're like Rick, you're 30 years old making tik toks like okay, you work for your family business. Like you work for your family business. I'm like my family business does well.
- [28:15]
B
Yeah.
- [28:15]
A
And I'm like senior management. So my 9 to 5, you're working.
- [28:18]
B
For your family business too. That's the construction.
- [28:20]
A
Yeah. My 9 to 5, I'm like a 45 year old man at work. Like senior management. I deal with like you know, fairly older men on a consistent basis. I'm again senior management and then on the weekends I'm some like 25 year old punk. So again I balance it. I work really hard. Whenever I'm working on at that time I work really hard. And that's what social media is. It's just about consistency and putting in the work. You don't need to have a ton.
- [28:44]
B
Of your content on the weekends.
- [28:45]
A
I used to. Not anymore. Now it's just us majority that just I love you.
- [28:48]
B
Yeah.
- [28:49]
A
But yeah, now it's like I see something I like. I'm like oh that's cool.
- [28:51]
B
I'm gonna make you take it when you want to.
- [28:53]
A
Yeah. And then sometimes I'LL just text Jess, like, hey, can you make this for me?
- [28:56]
B
Did you get. So you kind of talked about the backlash of people saying things. What is, like, the worst, like, of it? Like, do you get hate? Do you get anything?
- [29:03]
A
I get very little hate. My audience is so nice. Yeah. And, like, again, I talk about love, and I talk about, like, being open and I'm vulnerable. So sometimes you get the odd dude that's like, oh, you're a. And I'm like, like, respectfully, let me see you run a marathon. Let me see. Let me see you do high rocks. Go do high rocks. Let me see how long it takes.
- [29:21]
B
You to do it or put your mind to something or, like, go write.
- [29:24]
A
A book or, like, just do anything. Like, let me see you do. If you're doing better than me, there's a very rare chance you're going to chirp me.
- [29:30]
B
I would love to see it. Yeah.
- [29:31]
A
Like, if you're doing better than me, trust me, you. You're not. You don't have time to make fun of a stranger on the Internet.
- [29:35]
B
No. So have you ever, like, written back to any of those trolls?
- [29:38]
A
Oh, yeah. I get in trouble now because now I got to be careful because I work with so many brands, and when.
- [29:44]
B
Yeah, they don't like it.
- [29:45]
A
Yeah, they don't like it. So I. I really, really try and stop doing it, but sometimes you just. I got in some beef with some dude the other day because he's like, you're such a cringy. Like, you're a loser or something. I'm just like, sorry, like, who are you like? And he's just like, oh, like, you're such a. Like a blah, blah. I'm like, in the last 48 hours, I ran a marathon. I published a book. And, like, I've done, like, X, Y, and Z. Like, what have you done? He's like, I own three businesses and I, like, I go to the gym four hours a day, and I let him like, bro, if you go to gym four hours a day and you still look like that, bro, fire your personal trainer. Yeah, because, like, I go to the gym for an hour a day, and I look a lot better than you. So I figured it the fuck out.
- [30:21]
B
Yeah.
- [30:21]
A
So I stopped. Some days it gets the best of me, but.
- [30:24]
B
But, like, just. You just coming back a little thing. But you don't, like, rage.
- [30:27]
A
Yeah, no, I've stopped myself now.
- [30:29]
B
Okay, good. Okay, so I have.
- [30:31]
A
Wait, what about you? Do you. I feel like you go off.
- [30:33]
B
Like, fuck, I go off, but, like.
- [30:35]
A
I feel like you're like, you. You go off on like, the. The burner accounts.
- [30:38]
B
I go off a lot less. But I know that, like, there are some people that I just. I feel like it's gotta be. There was one comment that I got that it said something about, like, what I did on the weekend. And I'm like, you're watching me. Like, who are you? So I kind of was like, I.
- [30:55]
A
Feel like you would probably get a lot of, like, jealous hate.
- [30:58]
B
I get a lot of girls, yes. But then I also get, like, older men being like, daddy issues because I post about dating life and being single. So, like, realistically, it's just. But, like, also maybe don't bring my family into it. Like, fuck you. You know what I mean? You don't need to. I don't want my parents going on and laugh. Like, everything that I make. If it's a joke, it's seriously meant to be a funny joke. It's not. Whatever. But if I'm making advice, I'm telling. Telling you the truth as to how.
- [31:24]
A
But also, some people don't understand the fact it's a joke.
- [31:27]
B
Sometimes no one understands.
- [31:28]
A
I've made jokes before, and people are like, it's obviously a fucking joke. And people will say something. I'm like, you must also believe the Onion is true. Like, you must read that every morning and think that's the news or something, you fucking moron.
- [31:39]
B
Well, I posted one about how, like, I've only slept with. I say I only slept with three people.
- [31:45]
A
That was a good one. I saw it. I laughed at.
- [31:47]
B
But like, okay, also, first of all, seven isn't a bad number at 24. And second of all, fuck, like, shut up. Like, clearly, like, what do you have to say? You probably, what, you're either mad because you haven't had sex in a while or you are just trying to rip on a girl.
- [32:02]
A
Wait, so let me ask you this then. Is it fair to ask someone what their number is? And do you ask me?
- [32:08]
B
But it's not fair to ask a girl.
- [32:09]
A
So you think it's a fair question?
- [32:10]
B
Ask a girl. But a girl can say whatever they want.
- [32:12]
A
Like a guy can say whatever they want.
- [32:14]
B
Yeah, but it's rude if you guys lie. But it's normal.
- [32:18]
A
All right, noted. Men don't lie. Just whatever your number is divided by three.
- [32:23]
B
Well, like, okay, I'm going to be honest with you. A lot of women lie about their.
- [32:27]
A
Their kill A lot. I think every woman will always.
- [32:31]
B
I'm just going to say a lot Because I don't want to throw us all under the bus.
- [32:33]
A
Yeah, I think basically they all, but.
- [32:35]
B
Respectfully, in a way of like, it's just, you don't need to know as a guy, like, you guys are a bit dirtier than us. We, like, we need to make sure that it's all good girls. We were like, we will make sure, but we got to worry about you now. You know what I mean?
- [32:51]
A
Agree to disagree.
- [32:53]
B
Okay, I have some questions that are rapid fire questions, so we can do it, but I mean, answer how you would like, but try to keep it short and sweet. Okay, first of all, is, this is a highly asked question on my social media. So this is what I want to ask you because I always want a guy's perspective. How do you get a guy back after he broke up with you?
- [33:14]
A
So how to get a girl back after they broke up with you?
- [33:16]
B
How to get a guy. Oh.
- [33:17]
A
How to get a man's perspective?
- [33:18]
B
Oh, man. From the other side.
- [33:20]
A
Be patient and be supportive.
- [33:23]
B
How would you do that?
- [33:24]
A
I thought this was rapid fire.
- [33:26]
B
Okay, give me a little.
- [33:27]
A
How would you do it? Just like, find out why they broke up with you. If it's because you were breaking balls and try not to break balls. But be supportive in their life. Cheer them on, root for them in the background. Know that like, hey, I'm still here. I know you're like, need to figure your out, but I got you. I'm here, I'm ready, I'm waiting.
- [33:41]
B
But if they broke up with you, wouldn't you just be like, I think it depends why?
- [33:44]
A
Like some. If they broke up with you because you're not enough, then be like, okay, I'm not enough. Cool. I'm moving on to someone that I.
- [33:49]
B
Will be enough for.
- [33:50]
A
Sometimes breakups are meant to be permanent. Sometimes they're meant to be breaks, but sometimes they're meant to be permanent. So move the on.
- [33:57]
B
Have you ever gotten back with an ex?
- [33:58]
A
Like almost all of them.
- [33:59]
B
Really? How many? How many times? For the longest one, like the highest number of times you've got.
- [34:04]
A
I got back with the next three times. Once. Yeah. And that was a four year relationship. So on and off, four years.
- [34:09]
B
I've gotten back with the next like seven, eight times.
- [34:12]
A
Okay. That's where we might draw the line.
- [34:13]
B
That's what we draw the line.
- [34:14]
A
Even the third time for me, I was like, three is a little bit. That's a little bit debatable.
- [34:18]
B
I saw eight and I was like, my lucky number seven. And we gotta draw it Here. All right, so that's where I draw the line. Okay, top green flags. What makes a girl like you are good?
- [34:33]
A
If you can bring them into a room of strangers and they can hold their own. That's the.
- [34:37]
B
I love that.
- [34:38]
A
Oh, Hottest thing ever.
- [34:39]
B
Yeah.
- [34:40]
A
Oh, my God.
- [34:40]
B
You have to hold their hand.
- [34:42]
A
I remember I brought my ex to, like, a bar in Toronto, and we weren't even date. We had just met, and I went to the bathroom, she came back, and everyone's like, you need to date this girl. You need to marry this girl. And I'm like, the. What happened while I was gone? It's the, oh, my God, Chef's kids. That's the hardest thing a girl can do.
- [34:58]
B
Second.
- [34:59]
A
Second is supportive. Like a woman who supports their man in whatever it is that they're doing.
- [35:07]
B
Like, it has to go both ways, though.
- [35:08]
A
Yeah. Oh, 100%. But like, I remember if I did something little, like, let's say I'm running a half marathon, it's that little, like, good morning text. Hey, you ready? Like, you got this? You're going to fudgeing crush. This is like, this isn't really that meaningful. But, like, I love you so hot.
- [35:22]
B
They're supporting whatever you do. What are your dating non negotiables? Like, you will not have it.
- [35:29]
A
I want kids. I want kids. I believe that one parent should stay home and take care of the home and the kids.
- [35:36]
B
For how long?
- [35:37]
A
Permanently? If somebody wants some random job, cool. And again, if my partner makes more money than me, I'll stay home. This isn't a sexist thing. This isn't a. You have to stay home. I will stay home.
- [35:48]
B
So it's the person that makes more money. It's not the person that wants to or wants to.
- [35:51]
A
Cool. No problem. I'll stay home as long as these other person can. I will make a lot of money in my life. I know I will. Between everything I do, I know I'm going to be successful. If you. Yeah, I'm not going to lie. If you want to work, I will gladly put my life on hold and I will take care of these kids and I will take care of the home. Because I think that's the greatest, most important job in the world.
- [36:07]
B
I also think it's a nick if guys can't. Yeah, like, can't do that.
- [36:11]
A
I can go either way. I can say I. This is the sexist thing. I went on a date once, and I know this isn't rapid fire anymore, but I went on a date once and I mentioned that and the girl's like, that's so sexist. I'm like, how's that? She's like, you expect me to stay home because you make more money than me? I'm like, I mean, respectfully, you like, you're a bartender. I do like eight different things. Like I would expect. Yeah. Me to go to work because I'm just going to make more money.
- [36:32]
B
Like I think that a lot of people, I think still majority of people's view is that the woman stays home and takes care of them.
- [36:37]
A
And I'm not saying that, I'm not saying I would. My dream job is to be a stay at home dad. You can wake up, make breakfast, go, go to golf, pick up the kids, make dinner, hang out with my boys. Like what a. And then at wife. Make sure at home, make sure my wife has everything she needs.
- [36:50]
B
But I don't think you'd have time to golf and hang out with the boys. You're gonna be chasing around a toddler. Oh.
- [36:54]
A
Cause I'd have a nanny too.
- [36:55]
B
Okay.
- [36:56]
A
I'm the stay at home.
- [36:56]
B
So if you get to stay home, you get the nanny.
- [36:58]
A
But if she could, she can have a nanny too. Fuck, no problem. I'll pay for it too. Okay, no problem.
- [37:01]
B
Okay, fine, whatever. So that's just your only number.
- [37:05]
A
They have to love to travel. Like I know women.
- [37:07]
B
When's an appropriate time to tell a guy that? Or ask a guy like, do you want kids?
- [37:12]
A
Oh, right away.
- [37:13]
B
Okay. Because I asked him the first.
- [37:14]
A
Yeah. That's a. Not like again. That's a very big deal.
- [37:17]
B
It's never scared people off.
- [37:18]
A
Oh my God. Why would it.
- [37:19]
B
I don't think, I don't think that was what did it.
- [37:21]
A
Yeah, they were like, oh, by the way, do you follow me on Tick Tock?
- [37:24]
B
Yeah. I'm like, have you seen any of the.
- [37:27]
A
Wait. Do you think it's hot if someone doesn't know who you are?
- [37:29]
B
I love it.
- [37:30]
A
Same.
- [37:31]
B
But unfortunately in Toronto it's very small.
- [37:34]
A
You think so?
- [37:35]
B
Yeah.
- [37:35]
A
You think all the street is very small. Maybe kings. You're also tall like that. You're tall and blonde and good looking.
- [37:41]
B
So I go out every.
- [37:42]
A
Yeah, I get. That's tough. Yeah, that's fair.
- [37:44]
B
Why do you think it's hot if they don't know you?
- [37:46]
A
Yeah, I love it.
- [37:47]
B
Yeah, it's like you're not really using.
- [37:48]
A
It when you don't know, like you don't know what I do online. I think that's so fucking amazing.
- [37:52]
B
I also like don't want them to ever know. Like I contemplated like blocking me off of his thing because like I have, I talk about it. I know you said the two month thing like or give it a month, I should be doing that but I can't.
- [38:03]
A
Yeah, I said if I met my person and she was like let's just delete social media, I would have no problem. I could, if my person didn't like social media, I'd say, you know, give me a couple years, let me get this bag and then I'll stop and we could just move to Costa Rica, live on the beach in a hot like a two bedroom hut with our kids and eat fresh food and fresh like fish. I'm so fucking dead.
- [38:22]
B
You seem like you're very good with adapting to like different things. Like if someone doesn't like what you're doing or being the stay at home mom, you're very good to adapt again.
- [38:33]
A
For the right people. When I care about somebody, I will, I will do certain things but other than that, I'm arguably one of the most selfish people you'll ever meet. I believe, I believe everybody should be selfish because when you are the best version of yourself and you put yourself first, everybody else around you will benefit. I'm going to give you the best example. This year I've donated more than $10,000 to different charities to different things. When I did my 300,000 steps in one week, I donated 3k. Nick Regina had a charity, I donate 250. Someone else DM me the other day this great story about her daughter at Sick Kids and how what the struggles the family go. I gave a couple hundred bucks. I've donated all this extra money this year because mentally I put myself first this year and I crushed it on social media and I had the extra money to donate.
- [39:16]
B
That's amazing.
- [39:16]
A
When I help out others and I do other things for others, it's because I'm in the best place ever mentally and I've got that extra capacity to help others. When my cup is full, I can share. When my cup's not full, I'm not sharing with fucking nobody because I'm just trying to get more in my cup. So I believe that everybody is the best version of themselves. Everybody around you will benefit. When I'm me and I'm the best version of me and I think right now I'm close to it. Everybody around me will just benefit from one the opportunities or the fun or the excitement or whatever it is that I'm sharing. When I was depressed, like I'VE been depressed in my life before and I'm the worst version of myself and nobody's getting anything from me. Yeah, you are. It's. It's like I'm sucking the life out of you. Depressed. And it's so hard. And I had friends who were depressed that it felt like they were sucking the life out of me. But I was in a good place mentally, so I can help them. Yeah, but it's. You got to take care of yourself first. Like, there's a reason. There is a reason why when the plane is going down, they say, put your mask, put your mask on first. Because you can't help others if you're not whole.
- [40:13]
B
So it's true and it's sad to think of it in a way, but at the end of the day, you have to have to be okay with yourself. And the only person that can make you happy at the end of the day is you.
- [40:25]
A
Bingo.
- [40:26]
B
Okay, the things that. Okay. Three things not to do in 2025 if you want a relationship.
- [40:36]
A
Three things you. If you want a relationship to not do.
- [40:39]
B
Okay, so you're looking for a relationship in 20.
- [40:42]
A
Don't have a roster.
- [40:45]
B
It's going to be tough for a lot of us.
- [40:47]
A
Yeah, that's what I'm looking at. You, Sarah, don't have a roster.
- [40:50]
B
You definitely have a few people that you talk to. I heard your phone ringing over there.
- [40:54]
A
That's my work. That's my work phone.
- [40:55]
B
Yeah.
- [40:56]
A
I'm willing to bet those are 40 to 50 year old men. I'm 100% no. Do I casually flirt with people? Yes. But I'm also the busiest person ever that like, I don't have a Saturday available to go on a real date.
- [41:08]
B
Not just dating, but like, would you call girls to like come meet you out or do this or do that?
- [41:12]
A
There's not one single person right now that like to stay in tonight. I'm staying in tonight. I would call but, hey, you want to come over and have a movie night? My. I've had Rossa, but again, I'm 34. I'm older now. Like when I was your age. A right. I had a roster and I was so good at juggling it. And I love juggling it. Maybe not 24.
- [41:30]
B
We wouldn't have.
- [41:31]
A
I'd have like four good ones.
- [41:32]
B
Okay.
- [41:33]
A
And I worked at clubs too. Like, and they never would show up on this on the same I. And I was respectful to all of them. Like, it's not like, hey, I'm gonna date you. We're Gonna, like, blah, blah. It's like, hey, as long. As long as commun. You'll be friends with people and that's what you want. Like, I'm friends with majority.
- [41:47]
B
All your exes.
- [41:49]
A
Majority of them, yeah. There's maybe like one that I'm not friends with.
- [41:52]
B
Have you ever cheated?
- [41:53]
A
Not really, but emotionally, kind of. Yeah, I did. I kind of dated two people. In the same time.
- [41:59]
B
Huh. Like, actually dated, like, girlfriend?
- [42:02]
A
Like, no, but I was talking to both them at the same time. It's. It was definitely an emotion.
- [42:05]
B
Were you figuring it out or were you like. I actually like these two people.
- [42:08]
A
I don't know. I was. I liked them both. I was. It was a complicated. I was maybe, like, know, 26 at the time. 27. It was ugly. And I hurt two, you know, innocent people. But it's. Again, I was also hurt myself. I was a shell of a man. I was depressed, and I wasn't the best version of myself. And I hurt these two poor girls for no good reason. And, like, I've. I've apologized. One of them I'm cool with now, obviously. The other one, I think still hates my guts. And it's been like almost a decade, probably.
- [42:35]
B
We'll give her that, though.
- [42:36]
A
Yeah. Again, she is. She's allowed to hate me. I was. I did. She wasn't a saint by any means.
- [42:42]
B
I know her.
- [42:43]
A
No, she's closer to my age than yours. She was a nice girl, but, you know, she had her problems too, but she did not deserve what I did to her emotionally.
- [42:51]
B
It's good that you can admit that.
- [42:53]
A
Yeah. Hurt people. Hurt people. So true. And it's a shame. And it's so shitty. I've apologized, I've tried to make things better, but again, I'm not perfect.
- [43:01]
B
People can cheat it on.
- [43:02]
A
Oh, yeah, I got you on. When I was, like, 15, I saw it. Heartbreaking.
- [43:05]
B
You saw it? Them hooking up or them, like, making out?
- [43:08]
A
Making out. Mind you, when you're 15, making out is everything.
- [43:11]
B
It's equivalent.
- [43:12]
A
Like, it's equivalent of sex. Yeah, no, I got, you know, as a kid, it sucked.
- [43:16]
B
What about you?
- [43:17]
A
Have you ever been cheated on?
- [43:17]
B
Oh, my God. Every boyfriend, but.
- [43:19]
A
So maybe this tells you something. This tells you something about the men you're attracting.
- [43:23]
B
Absolutely. I. I used to attract, as long as, you know, the loudest men in the room.
- [43:27]
A
What's your therapist say about this?
- [43:28]
B
We've talked about it. We're still talking about it, and we're working on it.
- [43:32]
A
Okay.
- [43:33]
B
But I think right now I'M in the chapter of Evolving in My Own.
- [43:37]
A
Are you happy?
- [43:38]
B
I'm ecstatic.
- [43:39]
A
Out of. On a scale of 0 to 100.
- [43:41]
B
I don't think anybody can be 100 happy because I have my bad days, too.
- [43:45]
A
You don't think anybody can be 100 happy?
- [43:46]
B
No.
- [43:47]
A
Okay.
- [43:48]
B
Because I think that.
- [43:48]
A
So what are you on 0 to.
- [43:49]
B
100 or you see a sad puppy or something and you get.
- [43:52]
A
I mean, that's just a bad moment.
- [43:53]
B
No, but it's. You're not 100 happy.
- [43:55]
A
Okay, so 0 to 100.
- [43:56]
B
What are you, 85.
- [43:59]
A
Okay, that's not bad.
- [44:00]
B
It's pretty good. It's not bad, but I was in a really rough place when I was living in New York. So moving back, getting comfortable, going through all the firsts of, like, finding a new apartment, finding my coffee shop, finding my gym, finding this, finding that was hard. And I still think back on New York, but you know how, like, after you break up with someone, it's like you miss them because you're distanced from them and you miss some of the good things. That's how I kind of feel about New York. Because I'm not there. I'm like, oh, I missed it a little.
- [44:28]
A
You romanticize certain situations.
- [44:29]
B
You romanticize certain situations.
- [44:31]
A
I think that then you forget about the shitty ones.
- [44:33]
B
Yes.
- [44:33]
A
Yeah, that's fair.
- [44:34]
B
So I think that's the stage I'm in.
- [44:36]
A
What can make your life from 85 to 99?
- [44:40]
B
More money. Because I just want to be fully supporting myself and not have to rely on any help. Okay, last few questions. Blondes or brunettes?
- [44:50]
A
Brunettes.
- [44:51]
B
Respectfully, have you ever dated a blonde?
- [44:52]
A
Yeah, I have dated a blonde, but brunettes, I just a tan brunette with pretty eyes and a cute smile. Oh, my God. Marry me.
- [45:00]
B
Okay, so not me.
- [45:02]
A
Respectfully.
- [45:02]
B
It's totally fine. Butter boob guy.
- [45:05]
A
Anyone who knows me. And if you saw all my exes, it's very evident I'm a boob guy.
- [45:10]
B
Okay, That's a rare answer nowadays.
- [45:11]
A
You know what?
- [45:12]
B
Apparently it is, which is crazy, because I have nothing going on. I love titties, which is great.
- [45:17]
A
Love. Love to hear love titties. Because I just like. It's fun, it's great. But, like, titties, like, make me smile. Like I'm a little.
- [45:25]
B
But do they need anything on the butt? Like, do they need anything? Like, it. Can it be kind of like a board?
- [45:32]
A
I don't know. Like, butts are like, whatever. They're fun, they're great, cool. But, like, titties make me smile like I'm six. Like my exes, like if I was mad at them, they just show me the titties. I'm like, I love you.
- [45:41]
B
It's your weakness.
- [45:42]
A
I love a good day.
- [45:43]
B
Good. Good to know. Who lies more, men or women?
- [45:47]
A
Women.
- [45:48]
B
What has social media what has social media made you most self conscious about?
- [45:53]
A
My wrinkles.
- [45:54]
B
Oh, really?
- [45:55]
A
I didn't know what crow's feet was until like, tick tock.
- [45:58]
B
Do people comment?
- [45:59]
A
Yeah, they're like, yo, man, your crow's feet are showing. I'm like, google chat GPT. What are crow's feet?
- [46:03]
B
Well, that's age.
- [46:04]
A
That's just age. It is what it is.
- [46:06]
B
I'm not really, but I mean, I feel you with the self conscious thing. Like, with like cuz you, you, you see it in yourself.
- [46:11]
A
But you know what? Tik Tok is actually so I didn't usually like my grays. I have a lot of grays. I just got a haircut. So Tik Tok has made me love my grays. Cuz so, so many women in my like, yo, Sal the salt and girls. And like sometimes I'm like, what the. Like, I don't have that much salt and pepper. But then I'm like, yo, salt and pepper looks fire, man. You look hot. I'm like, all right.
- [46:31]
B
No, girls love a salt and pepper.
- [46:33]
A
They.
- [46:34]
B
It shows that you're still young, but like, you're grown.
- [46:36]
A
I'm getting old. I'm maturing.
- [46:38]
B
Okay. Do you have any last questions for me?
- [46:42]
A
No, actually, I feel like I asked you a lot that I wanted to kind of get out.
- [46:45]
B
I liked it because we do have different opinions, but we agree on.
- [46:48]
A
Okay, so here actually, no, I got a couple. So what do you think? What are your thoughts on first date? Should, should they be short or long? And then follow up. What's your ideal first date?
- [46:56]
B
Dinner. Short. And then if it goes well, I would want to go for drinks with you after.
- [47:01]
A
So you think a dinner date's a good date?
- [47:03]
B
I think it's an amazing date.
- [47:05]
A
Okay.
- [47:05]
B
I don't want to go for coffee.
- [47:07]
A
No, coffee dates are agreed upon. The worst dates.
- [47:09]
B
Yeah, the whole Internet.
- [47:11]
A
So I said this on one and somebody like, was just like, that's the most wild take. I believe that first dates should be long and should have the possibility to be the best first date ever. And the reason is because, one, if it does work out and you had the best first date ever. One, that's an amazing story. Two, the longer the date, the more you get to figure out about the person.
- [47:30]
B
You gotta give a little, you gotta leave a little for them to figure out why.
- [47:33]
A
No. Do you want a fast relationship or a slow one? Fast.
- [47:37]
B
Not fast.
- [47:38]
A
You don't want a fast one. You don't want it where you just meet someone and you instantly know that that's my person.
- [47:42]
B
Love bombing. And that's.
- [47:43]
A
No, it's not. No wood. That's not love bombing. Love bombing is saying you love someone right away and you're showing that you.
- [47:48]
B
Love someone right away because you don't even know who it is.
- [47:50]
A
But sometimes don't you want like a fast, passionate, fiery hot relationship?
- [47:54]
B
Okay, that too. But like, it can't be too fast. I still need to like have two days without seeing you and then you wanting to see me. Like, I like that kind of cat and mouse for a little bit. It keeps you, like, intrigued. It keeps it sexy. It keeps you wanting more.
- [48:08]
A
Fair enough. Teach their own.
- [48:10]
B
Teach their own.
- [48:11]
A
Yeah, I just, I wholehearted. I believe that. My, my actually great example. We were long distance. She came here. Yeah, la. She came here. And we literally spent the weekend together and had the best first date ever. It was like a three day long first date. And we did everything. Went to a leaf game, went to a concert, went to the gym, went to a boxing class, went for a bike ride through the city, tried a bunch of different pizza spots, went to my favorite bars, met my friends. Like, we did everything in those 72 hours. And it was technically like three dates, I guess, but it was the best first date ever.
- [48:41]
B
That's so cute.
- [48:42]
A
And I believe my next.
- [48:43]
B
Did you stay with you?
- [48:43]
A
Yeah. Yeah.
- [48:44]
B
Did you sleep in the same bed as you the first night?
- [48:46]
A
Yeah. Another hot take is I disagree with women who have that I can't sleep on the first date rule.
- [48:52]
B
I think it's for different men.
- [48:53]
A
Different if the vibe and the vibe and everything is right and is aligned. I think it's weird when you don't because of a rule. You know the rule, oh, we can't because it's a rule. It's like, okay, well I have a rule that, you know, I can't do X, Y and Z. But sometimes you break it for the right person or the right situation for sure.
- [49:08]
B
But I also think a lot of men in their younger 20s don't even, like, if they get it right away, they won't continue to pursue.
- [49:16]
A
That's right. Again, I think it's situational.
- [49:18]
B
Yeah.
- [49:19]
A
You know, I get. Women have rules and they should because some men are. Yeah, but I believe if you have the best first date and it's like this long, amazing, passionate, romantic, amazing, I would love that.
- [49:31]
B
But I just think that it, that's very rare. So the odds of us.
- [49:36]
A
Well, I mean you're also okay with dinner dates. Maybe set, set the bar higher. So you want to do dinner and you want to do a sporting event and then you want to go to karaoke and then you want to have a late night Chinese food in Chinatown or something.
- [49:47]
B
I am a handful. So if that was their first date, they'd be like, whoa.
- [49:52]
A
So maybe you're the problem.
- [49:53]
B
Maybe. I mean, maybe we need to talk about me.
- [49:57]
A
Yeah, that's it. You come online, we'll talk. We'll talk about you on mine.
- [50:01]
B
Oh, God. Okay, well, thank you guys for watching. I will see you next week on tall blonde.