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- [00:05]
A
Hi, you've reached Hell Blonde. Sorry I can't come to the phone right now. I'm recording a podcast and we're probably talking about you, so you should listen. Today's guest is the queen of messy love stories, relatable chaos, and professional glow ups. She's a TV host, producer, podcaster, and your new obsession, Nicole. Okay, maybe I should ask you how to say your name. You're so sweet.
- [00:26]
B
That's like the sweetest intro ever.
- [00:28]
A
Sir Venice.
- [00:30]
B
I say sir, and then Venus. Like the planet.
- [00:32]
A
Sir Venus. Nicole Cervenus in the building.
- [00:35]
B
Thanks for having me.
- [00:36]
A
How are you? I feel like this is a long time over.
- [00:38]
B
Dude. It is. I've literally heard, like, the most amazing things about. Really? And so, yeah, I'm so happy that this.
- [00:43]
A
Interesting. Did you say that to make me feel good or no?
- [00:46]
B
Did you? Actually, I say I'm not nice. I'm honest. So I. I just. Like, if I don't have anything nice to say, then I often just shut my mouth and say nothing. But if I mean something, then I say it.
- [00:57]
A
And I feel like we're very similar, especially in that sense, but also with the brutal honesty with being open. And of course, we're gonna dig into in a bit about your career path and stuff, but you share and you're not afraid to share your stories, I think. Is that maybe because you've been on TV for a while or. Why do you feel so open that you can, you know, share your life?
- [01:21]
B
No, I'm. I'm terrified.
- [01:23]
A
Oh, you are.
- [01:24]
B
Okay, full disclosure, I. I'm glad that I convinced people that I was, you know, very comfortable with it because, to be honest, I. It's funny because all the guys here were saying, like, I was expressing how nervous I was to. To do a podcast and be, like, open about relationships.
- [01:39]
A
I'm shocked.
- [01:39]
B
And they were like, how, Nicole, you literally talk for a living, like, all the time. And I'm like, yeah, but not about, like, personal things. I often kind of close. Like, I keep that off the grid.
- [01:50]
A
Okay.
- [01:51]
B
So it was like. It's been very interesting to kind of put myself in kind of interviews and have these different discussions through a different lens and, like, sharing. But it's been, like, very liberating at the same time. It's a little bit scary, but, like, liberating at the same time.
- [02:05]
A
I mean, being open and not knowing who's gonna see what you're posting, I think is probably the scariest part for me. Would you, like, is that kind of what you're Getting at.
- [02:14]
B
I'm like waiting for it. So let me ask you this question like, because I know you're really about sharing stories and whatnot as well. Like have you had people reach out to you being like, I wish you didn't say that or like take this down, anything like that?
- [02:28]
A
Absolutely, yeah, I'm waiting for that to happen. Well, when I, before even the podcast stuff, like I was just doing TikToks and I was talking about my dating life in New York and I didn't really know too many people because I just moved there and. But then I told an old story of how a best friend hooked up with a boyfriend that I had at the time. And it was five year relationship. I didn't find out until after we ended. And yeah, and I didn't even mention her name, but she got really mad. But then that's when I kind of was like, you know what, I'm telling the truth, I'm not making up lies.
- [03:02]
B
Right.
- [03:02]
A
So this is my life story and I'm allowed to tell it. So yeah, you're gonna get backlash a lot of times like if I say something about a guy, they'll get mad, but I won't say names.
- [03:11]
B
So like if you, you're protecting identity but still sharing an experience, which I think like someone can get mad at. And what I like to compare it to, like how like I've prepared myself. I'm like, every musician does this via song, so like why can't we do it via storytelling? Like literally very different. Right? And I think the same, but different.
- [03:29]
A
Honestly, in a song they're way more descriptive, they're way more like story through emotions. Like we're just saying it raw and authentically. So I think there's no problem with what we're doing. But you went through a few relationships in the past.
- [03:45]
B
Yes.
- [03:46]
A
And normally when people are single, I ask why do you think you're single but you are now in a relationship? So tell me, even before this relationship, when was the first time that you fell in love?
- [03:59]
B
Yeah, for sure. Like I. So I've always been like obsessed with love. I'm born on one of those day.
- [04:05]
A
Oh my God. No way.
- [04:06]
B
Yeah, so I say like I was cursed the day I was born. Literally. But. And like, yeah, I, I think. Cause I, I grew up like in like the Disney kind of culture. And as a little girl, like there was nothing more than what I wanted to be like a princess. I would like dance in my parents basement. That was like our playroom area. And I would like Ballroom dance by myself, like watching Beauty and the Beast or Cinderella. Literally, like, the dream for me was like finding a Prince Charming. Like, ever since I was, like, very little. My parents were high school sweethearts. They have been together 39 years. They just celebrated their anniversary. And they've known each other since they were 16. So I've kind of. I feel like I grew up in this really, like, sheltered, kind of like, cartoon fantasy world of love that when I had my first breakup, like, in high school, from my first, I'd say relationship, I don't know that I consider it like, first love, but first relationship. I was so heartbroken and, like, so gutted because I couldn't understand that, like, the first guy that you dated, you don't end up up with. I was like, what. What do you mean? Like, that doesn't.
- [05:14]
A
We have kids names. We know what we're gonna do when we're getting married.
- [05:16]
B
That's exactly it. It was like the whole life was, like, playing so young. And I think back now and I. And I laugh to myself of, like, kid, you had no idea what was coming your way because. Yeah, many. I'm 34.
- [05:30]
A
Okay.
- [05:31]
B
And so I've. I like. I consider myself, like, a relationship. Girly for sure. And mostly, like, long term, like three years, two years, one year, three years, like, that sort of thing. But I have dated some interesting men, that's for sure.
- [05:47]
A
Well, because you live in Toronto. No, And I live.
- [05:50]
B
And I haven't always lived in Toronto, so I live in Toronto now, but I grew up in Richmond Hill, so. But I, like, have dated people, like, all over the place. Yeah. Just outside the city and.
- [06:00]
A
First relationship. We're going back to that.
- [06:01]
B
Yeah. Sorry, that was your first question. Yes. High school. High school love. It was so. It was like puppy love. I mean, people, like, kind of paired us together before we. Even. Before I even started high school. He was a year older than me, and he had a brother who was my brother's age. And they were friends and they hung out. He was like the jock of the school. And I was very much the, like, student council. If there was a cheer squad, I would have been head of the cheerleading squad type of girl in school and all that to say is, I love.
- [06:29]
A
Attention in the best way.
- [06:32]
B
I mean, me too. So when I started high school, it was like, immediately they were like, oh, my God, you guys have to date, whatever. And then, you know, it was the meet cute at the locker and.
- [06:42]
A
Yeah.
- [06:42]
B
And the. The rest was history of, like.
- [06:44]
A
But we.
- [06:45]
B
We dated for, like, Three years. So most of my high school, because he was a year older.
- [06:49]
A
Okay.
- [06:50]
B
And then. Yeah, it.
- [06:51]
A
Was he, like, your first kiss or first kiss?
- [06:53]
B
Yeah, first kiss. First. Every first date first, like. Yeah. And it was so funny because. Well, three years. So the. The reason why it ended was because after three. So he was going to prom, and. And I was obviously a year younger, and it was the whole pressure of, like, you know, we need to have sex the prom night. Da, da, da. And I was like, I'm not ready. I don't know. Like, I was.
- [07:16]
A
So you went three years without having sex with.
- [07:18]
B
Yeah, we didn't even. Nothing. Like, nothing.
- [07:20]
A
And in high school, I feel.
- [07:22]
B
I mean, nothing. I mean, nothing.
- [07:23]
A
That's crazy.
- [07:24]
B
I was like, a pretty, like, conservative.
- [07:27]
A
Like, just kissing and making out.
- [07:28]
B
Yeah, just kissing and making out. I was conservative, number one. Number two, like, I was very young, and I also at the time, like, was very much of, like, I want this to be very special, and I want to be very selective. I don't want to just do it to do it because everybody else was doing it. And so I was just like, I have romanticized what that experience was going to be like, and I didn't feel like I was ready for all the things that also come with it, too, you know, and being responsible and whatnot. I wasn't, like, oblivious. So, yeah, I just. I really didn't feel ready. And I. And then him, like, to be honest.
- [08:02]
A
Was he, like, also asking for it.
- [08:04]
B
Like, made me not want it more? It made me more turned off? Exactly. It was like, like, if he had maybe kind of done something, like, set up something romantic and, like, special or.
- [08:16]
A
Like, approached it feel comfortable. Cause I want this to be special for you.
- [08:20]
B
Exactly.
- [08:20]
A
Had he had. Had. Had he had sex with anyone before you?
- [08:25]
B
I think so. Now that I. You say this, I actually don't remember.
- [08:27]
A
So maybe he was like, of course. Little boys, they're probably, like, so horny.
- [08:31]
B
Yeah, they're so horny, they don't know what to do themselves. Yeah, 100%. And so, yeah, like, the pressure of it all made me not want to do it even more. And then, so, yeah, he broke up with me.
- [08:42]
A
So that's why he broke up with you, because you didn't have sex with her?
- [08:44]
B
Oh, yeah.
- [08:45]
A
But it is crazy to think about it, like, putting myself back into high school. Like, that is what every guy was trying. Not that it's not what everyone. Guys trying to get out seeing a girl now, but in high school, it was so. It was the Cool thing to do. Like, you're dating someone because you guys are gonna have sex.
- [09:02]
B
Right.
- [09:02]
A
That's the. You know.
- [09:03]
B
Right.
- [09:04]
A
So for him to go three years without that.
- [09:07]
B
And that's what I say. Like, I hate diminishing the relationship. Not saying that it wasn't love, but because I think, like, when you share something physical with someone, that's like, a different kind of love. So that's why I refrain from saying that he was my first love. But at the same time, like, we were so close because, like, we did. Like, we spent so much time together. We talked all, like, morning and night. We went on vacation together, too. Like, I also can't even believe my parents.
- [09:32]
A
In high school.
- [09:33]
B
In high school, I went with his family to Barbados, and we slept in the same room again. And nothing with.
- [09:39]
A
With. With nobody else in the room.
- [09:42]
B
No. Okay. So his brother and sister were in, like, another. There were, like, multiple, like, beds. But we had time alone and, like, fully could have happened. And, like, there was no question. There was, like. Yeah.
- [09:53]
A
Was your parents. Here's a good question. Was your parents, like, open with talking about sex and stuff within the family or what was that dynamic? Like?
- [10:04]
B
Not really positive. No. My parents are very much of, like, they're, like, sheltered. Yeah.
- [10:10]
A
That's kind of where you maybe a.
- [10:11]
B
Lot it was, like, uncomfortable conversation. But it was always like, if you need to talk, though, like, we're here. Yeah. But they were never ones to, like, really, like, bring it up. And there was always, you know, be safe.
- [10:20]
A
Yeah.
- [10:20]
B
Don't be stupid. Yeah. But, like, we didn't actually, like, fully have those conversations. Yeah. Because I think I had more of those with my friends, I would say, than I did, like, with my parents, for sure.
- [10:30]
A
Me too. I think that was probably common.
- [10:32]
B
Yeah.
- [10:33]
A
Growing up.
- [10:33]
B
Yeah.
- [10:34]
A
But I think it does make a difference. Like, I think people that are raised by parents that are kind of, like, never talk about it. You think it's almost this scary. And it means a lot more when I'm sure the first time that you had sex, you were like, this is not as deep as I thought this was gonna be. So it's. It's very interesting to hear people and, like, how they were brought up and how that affected. I mean, I've been in therapy for, like, years now, so haven't really hit that subject. But it's crazy how so many things as to how you grew up in.
- [11:05]
B
As a child reflects back a hundred percent on, like, how you see yourself. Yeah, 100%. I. I grew up, like, I was Catholic. I went to a Catholic school, so I also think that had, like, a big part of it. Like, they really hone in and have pre. I mean, I went elementary school and high school, so it's like, you know, save yourself till you're. Till you're married, and that's, like, a very sacred act.
- [11:27]
A
Oh, so you were planning to save yourself when you're married?
- [11:30]
B
I. I think I had, like, when I was young, I very much had that mentality. But in high school, then it was like, no, I. That's when I kind of changed, and I was like, no, I just wanted to be with someone that, like, I know is gonna be, like, my person.
- [11:44]
A
Right.
- [11:44]
B
I don't know. And I just didn't feel it, but I didn't. Yeah, I didn't get there. I couldn't get there.
- [11:48]
A
Which is very proud of you for being able to, like, hold your own and do what you want to do and handle that situation however you wanted to handle it. And thank you guys breaking up and stuff. Some people would have just been like, okay, fine, let's do it. I don't wake up, you know, like, totally. Some people are insecure in that sense, so you being so stern in your ways and confident as to what you believe in is very rare. And it's so good for you to even share that story, because you don't hear that that often. And I think a lot of people that probably think, oh, no, like, I'm thinking the same way as that can understand that. Are you happy with how. Well, I'll ask you this. Are you happy with how you kind of dealt with that and you held your own and didn't give that up to somebody and it ended? Yes. But are you happy with how that all panned out and your decision?
- [12:31]
B
Totally. I have, like, no regrets. And at the time, I obviously felt like it was the end of the world. And I was like, you know, what's wrong with me? Like, why. Why can. Like, I should have just done it. I should have, like, maybe I should have just said, oh, yeah. I was questioning it because I was so devastated. But at the same time, I, like, very much, like, looked. I thought of, like, aftermath for me. I questioned myself, how am I. Am I going to be more upset after I do it and regret it? Or am I going to, like, mourn this now and be happy that I did it, that I didn't?
- [13:01]
A
You're a very intelligent teenager.
- [13:03]
B
Thanks. I have good parents. I have really good parents. But that's, like, kind of how I, like Framed it and why I like really stuck to my guns because I knew I would have more regrets afterwards.
- [13:15]
A
Good for you.
- [13:16]
B
Thanks.
- [13:17]
A
And if you don't mind me asking. Not at all. When was the age that you lost your identity?
- [13:21]
B
I.
- [13:22]
A
Or are you still going strong?
- [13:23]
B
No.
- [13:23]
A
Are you waiting to marriage? What is it?
- [13:26]
B
Oh, girl, no.
- [13:28]
A
I don't know. You don't know?
- [13:30]
B
I was 18.
- [13:32]
A
Okay. So that's just missed out.
- [13:36]
B
Just missed out.
- [13:37]
A
He just missed out. That's like the year after you guys did.
- [13:41]
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [13:42]
A
He's probably like, he's going to hear this for sure.
- [13:45]
B
He's like one more year.
- [13:46]
A
Did you guys get back together?
- [13:47]
B
I was just going to say so after.
- [13:49]
A
Was it him?
- [13:50]
B
No, it wasn't him. It wasn't him. And I'm also grateful. Yeah. Never, never went there. But we in university, I. We like started kind of like talking again. I'd made a couple trips out there to go like visit him but like again like nothing happened. And then, and then like I want to say like five, six, seven years later we also had started talking again. Shit.
- [14:14]
A
It's the one that you can't get away, girl.
- [14:16]
B
No, there's more, there's more of them that are like that. That are worse. Lovely. This is nothing.
- [14:23]
A
So it doesn't leave.
- [14:24]
B
And we, and we went out a couple of times and then I saw like a different. You know, people change. I think too when you think of high school, you, you remember that person and then when you see them later on in life, you kind of realize like, oh, they're not the same person. Or I also am not the same person.
- [14:40]
A
Or you grew up and maybe they didn't.
- [14:42]
B
They stayed where they were. Exactly, exactly. So it was very clear of like no, no, this is like I was a little delusional.
- [14:47]
A
You're like, thank God this isn't.
- [14:49]
B
Yeah.
- [14:49]
A
Working out.
- [14:50]
B
But wish them all the best.
- [14:51]
A
Yes.
- [14:52]
B
Yeah.
- [14:52]
A
Bye. Thank God it didn't happen. Mine was in 18. I dated someone in grade. I had like a five year, four.
- [15:02]
B
And a half year relationship in high school.
- [15:04]
A
Yeah, it was grade nine summer.
- [15:08]
B
So we got snatched up.
- [15:09]
A
Yeah, I got snatched up and he like played my favorite song and we had sex in his parents basement. I didn't wait for sure as one does like that's what happens while we're dating. I guess this is the next step. But like I was so disappointed with how I'm like this wasn't even enjoyable.
- [15:25]
B
No, it never is. I think anybody who. That was also the shock too. Anybody who says that it is the first time is, like, so lying about it and how it works.
- [15:35]
A
And you said now, like, you didn't know that it. Or you know now that he probably wasn't the.
- [15:39]
B
A love.
- [15:40]
A
It wasn't love, but, like, it was, to an extent, really caring about someone. And I feel like you don't realize that till years after. Like, I thought my first was. I thought we were gonna die together, get married, have children, like, do everything. But then years go by and you're like, how was I even in that headspace?
- [16:00]
B
Yeah, because you're in it. When you're in it, you don't see it. Yeah, that's like, in hindsight, in every relationship, especially, like, you look back and you think, like. Or, why did I stay so long? Why did I put up with this? Or, how did I see this in this person? But, like, when you're in it, you don't know what happened. Why did you break up?
- [16:19]
A
A lot of girls so he played hockey.
- [16:23]
B
My brother always said, nicole, you're allowed to date anyone but a hockey player. Anyway, the caveat. I was never allowed to date a hockey player.
- [16:29]
A
Yeah, them and basketball, I think, are probably the worst. Yeah, football's pretty bad, too. But they always, like, wife someone up really young.
- [16:35]
B
They do. I feel like footballers.
- [16:37]
A
Yeah. Or they knock someone up, really. One of the other, and then they're forced put a ring on it. And they're like, or give me all your money. Smart play. But it's fine. But. But he was a hockey player in the ohl, obviously, because we were young, and he just was, you know, always having attention from people. He was so used to that. And I just couldn't deal with him getting attention. He couldn't deal with me going away to university and getting attention from other people. And it was long distance. And then we found out just sketchy things. I found out about the whole thing of him, my best friend, and realized it wasn't just once. And I'm like, how could you? How could you? And it was like the double whammy. You know, like when your boyfriend cheats.
- [17:23]
B
On you, you go, arianatics drama.
- [17:26]
A
No, that happened last year, right?
- [17:28]
B
Last year, yeah.
- [17:29]
A
Or two years ago. And I was like, no way.
- [17:32]
B
Like, that happened to me.
- [17:34]
A
I'm like, she blew up. I'm like, if put me on reality tv, I'll tell the story again. We can.
- [17:38]
B
We can reenact this.
- [17:40]
A
But I'm like, that's got to be.
- [17:41]
B
Like, the most painful because it's double betrayal.
- [17:43]
A
You go to Your best friend, when your boyfriend cheats on you, the best friend was the one that did it. Oh. I'm like, what? Like, I told her sex stories. I told her, and she's like, what? Our children are going to be named. I told her about our, you know, marriages, the dates that we were going on. She even slept over in the same bed as us in some days of, like, you know, partying and stuff. Like, such a betrayal. But I truly think you going through something of, you know, someone feeling pressure and not wanting to do something that someone wants you to do, or me going through a cheating scandal or whatever it may be, or getting fucked over by a best friend. I would not be where I am. And I don't know if you feel the same way, but I would never be this person today, being able to sit up here or whatever and speak about it if I didn't go through that shit 100%.
- [18:35]
B
It builds, like, strength and character. And again, like, it's a lesson learned because now you approach things differently. And that's like, with every, like, breakup or, like, failed relationship. It's like, I always say, like, one of my friends is going through it right now, and I was just like, babe, like, you're. She's like, I'm so afraid to, like, put myself back out there. And that's. There's a lot of fear. Of course you don't want the same thing to happen again. Yeah. But at the same time, I'm like, no. Like, you went through it, so you know the signs now. You're gonna weed that out. You're gonna smell it, you're gonna know it, and it. Like, you're smarter for it, you know, as, like, the. The pain gives you wisdom.
- [19:09]
A
Yep. And I also think it's really important for people that get out of bad relationships to go on dates, even if they know it's not the one. Like, go like a date or two a week just to see what else is out there. Because you will never switch your brain of a different happily ever after if you don't put yourself out there with other people. And you always just think, oh, love and being wanted and being with someone is with the last person I had that me over. You need to fully immerse yourself and be like, oh, my God, like, yeah, he's not. I'm not that attracted to him, but he's so nice. Or he has values that the mind didn't have, and now I know that that exists out there. It's like, you just need to embrace it and see Even if you come home and you're like, yeah, I'm never talking to him again. But now you know that there's differences for sure.
- [19:53]
B
And you can. You can identify it, like, way more easily too. And you learn more about yourself more than anything of, like, what you're also willing to, like, put up with and not absolutely.
- [20:02]
A
And have you ever been cheated on?
- [20:04]
B
I have this. This was like such a weird story, actually. I don't know they've ever actually said that this out loud.
- [20:11]
A
Perfect. Dive into it.
- [20:12]
B
So I went away to school in Australia.
- [20:15]
A
Oh, no way.
- [20:15]
B
I didn't exchange. Okay, Ms. Adventurous and. Yeah, I love traveling and I never let anybody, like, stop me from doing anything that I wanted to do. So I dated. I was in a relationship with a guy. We were boyfriend, girlfriend for like a year, I want to say, maybe just under before I was going away and like, I was sad and all, like, that I was going, but also, like, excited for this new adventure. And in my mind I always thought, like, if he's going to cheat on me, it will always come out or something. If we break up, so be it. Like, I'll come out. Exactly. He didn't have, like the greatest reputation. He was like a bat. The. The quintessential, like, bad boy. But, like, I was like, this was like a lust thing. 100%.
- [20:56]
A
You're really.
- [20:57]
B
Because he wasn't a good attractive, like, he wasn't. Yeah.
- [20:59]
A
See how this fans out?
- [21:01]
B
He wasn't a good person at all. So anyway. But his family was lovely.
- [21:06]
A
Okay.
- [21:07]
B
So. So thank God there's something. Yeah, they. They were lovely and they were lovely to me. And so anyway, so I went away to school and we did like, we like Skyped and the back then there was no zoom. Like, every day we would talk on the phone. Like, it was like, it felt like we were together even though we weren't. And so I was shocked when I got the phone call and this was like the end of my time in Australia. And like, I'm sure you know this and people listening or watching also know this. Australia has, I think, like the hottest people in the world living there even like on that continent. This doesn't really nice. They're. They're very kind. They're like adventurous, like, outdoorsy people. And they're all beautiful. They're literally all beautiful. Even like the rugged maybe, like. But there's like something so charming and like, attractive about an Aussie. Anyway.
- [21:59]
A
Yeah.
- [22:00]
B
What I'm going to say is, like, I could have dated a bunch of people while I was there. But I was a very. I'm like, very trusting, loyal, faithful person. And so. So all that to say is, like, this was, like, a few weeks before I was coming home, and a guy who actually had a crush on me in high school, but we never dated, messaged me and was like, nicole, I gotta tell you something. And I know it's weird, and you might not believe it coming from me. Oh, God. But I gotta tell you something makes your stomach drop. Yeah. I was like, oh, my God. What? And he was like, I was at a party at a cottage, and I saw your boyfriend making out with another girl. And I was like, are you kidding me right now? Before I cried, honestly, I was like, why are you doing this now? I'm like, yeah, I'm coming home now, and now you decide to do this anyway. But who knows? He was maybe doing it before, but. But he had, like, creepy photos and, like. Like, I had receipts of, like, it actually happening. And the. And the guy who showed me, like, he was so sweet to also, like, feel like he needed to tell me and, like, be protective because he didn't have to. Um, but anyway, and then I confronted him, and obviously, denial, denial, denial. And I was like, I know someone who saw you who I trust, actually, more than you. And I also have pictures. Like, I know who you were with. And so, yeah, denial. We broke up, obviously. Like, I came home. We broke up. I'd, like, it was, like, over the phone. I never even, like, saw him. And then I want to say, like, a year later, he, like, texted me. Oh, they always get. And was like, listen, I just want to meet up with you face to face. And, like, I want to, like, apologize like, you. I lied to you. I was like, no, Sherlock. Like, I know you. Like, I don't need you to tell me. Yeah. So anyway, but then we did meet up, and he apologized for everything. He owned up to it. He's like, I really messed up. Like, I wasn't in a good place. But, like, you know, I. I wish you all the best. And, like. And now we're, like, cordial. Like, if I saw him down the street, I'd be like, hey, what's up? Like, he's married. And. And. But, yeah, I just think it was so funny. I was like, you did this, like, on purpose. Like, I could have been on. But again, I feel like it happened for a reason, because I think if we weren't together, I probably would have met someone in Australia and then lived there and never came back, honestly, because I loved it so much there.
- [24:10]
A
So have you been back since?
- [24:12]
B
I haven't, sadly, but I want to. I've been going other places.
- [24:16]
A
Okay.
- [24:16]
B
I'm very big on, like, trying to do other. And then I'll come back.
- [24:19]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [24:20]
B
But. But yeah, it's on my list for sure. It's beautiful. You have to go if you have.
- [24:24]
A
I have one. Oh, yeah. But I was really young. Okay. It was an exception. And if we go back to the whole cheating thing, why do you think men cheat?
- [24:35]
B
It depends at what age, honestly. Because I think.
- [24:38]
A
Why is that?
- [24:38]
B
Because I think men cheat at different points in their life for different reasons. I think men who are younger cheat is because they're curious and are bored and, you know, are like, easily fall into temptation kind of thing. And it's like, ooh, so many shiny things. I want to touch them all.
- [24:54]
A
They don't know what they.
- [24:55]
B
No, exactly. They don't have the concept or like the brain, the capacity to understand. Exactly. Whereas, like, I think if a man cheats, like, closer to. Is like 30s, 40s and so on, I think they very well know what they're doing is wrong. But I think it's more so because they're like unhappy in a current situation and don't have the courage to leave it, or they are, like, stressed and overwhelmed, and that's like an outlet for them, you know, a little bit more like complex kind of situations. Why people kind of turn their head.
- [25:25]
A
And do you think that's the same for females as to why they cheat?
- [25:29]
B
I think so. I think so. I would say the same.
- [25:33]
A
Yeah. And I think maybe for females, actually. No, I agree, because I was gonna say the whole, like, sometimes they're not getting what they want out of their.
- [25:41]
B
Relationship, which is why they look elsewhere.
- [25:42]
A
Yeah, that's could be for either way. But I mean, it is proven that men do cheat more.
- [25:48]
B
So I believe that.
- [25:49]
A
Well, we'll stick with that. But you were also talking about, which I thought was mind bog, someone you were dating was applying for the Bachelor.
- [26:01]
B
Yes.
- [26:02]
A
As you were dating them.
- [26:03]
B
Yeah, he said he was in LA for like a boys golf weekend, and he was literally doing interviews for the show. Yeah.
- [26:12]
A
So what was his plan?
- [26:14]
B
If that's a great question? I, like, I asked myself that because I was working for City TV at the time, which is the station that the Bachelor plays on, so they have like exclusive interviews for coverage for, like a bunch of the contestants and the person, whether it be like the Bachelor or Bachelorette. And it was my job at the time to interview these people. I was like the bachelor expert, so to speak. And so, like, if this guy made it on the show, I would have been like, literally, what the dude? Yeah. Yeah. What do you do?
- [26:46]
A
But able to have a say and be like, do not let this guy come on.
- [26:50]
B
Well, so it's so funny because so I fully, like. I mean, threatened without being threatening and saying that.
- [26:57]
A
Like, how do you do that? I threatened without being threatening. So you're petty, but you weren't threatening.
- [27:02]
B
A little passive aggressive is what I like to call it of, like, you know what I do. So, like, think. Think before you do something. You made a decision. Yeah. And I think he got super scared. And then his parents found out. And then his parents said, if you go on the show, we're gonna disown you. That's embarrassing. Like, how could you do that to Nic? Like, this whole thing. Yeah. So then he didn't end up going on the show just because of that. But otherwise he would have been on the show.
- [27:28]
A
He actually would have been.
- [27:29]
B
Yeah.
- [27:30]
A
How do you know?
- [27:30]
B
Because I know because, like, people told.
- [27:32]
A
You from the show.
- [27:34]
B
Shut up.
- [27:36]
A
What a, like, fuck you moment.
- [27:37]
B
Yeah, it was great.
- [27:38]
A
Wow.
- [27:39]
B
But I also, like, kind of was like, I wish you went on the show.
- [27:42]
A
I was a bitch.
- [27:43]
B
But either way, yeah, totally. And he's still, like, a sorry, single guy. It's in the city today. So, like, he just is one of those guys that, like, I don't think he'll ever be happy because. Yeah, it's like an internal thing, you know, and going on there sometimes when.
- [27:57]
A
People aren't confident in who they are and where they are in life, you. You're never gonna. You're never gonna be happy with a woman.
- [28:04]
B
Yeah, 100%. Yeah.
- [28:07]
A
But you are in a happy relationship now.
- [28:09]
B
I am.
- [28:09]
A
Did you find him through dating apps? Friends? What was that like?
- [28:12]
B
It was through friends. So my last relationship was, like, a big blow up. Like, it was really big bad. Really? I. Yeah, we were together for three years and everything, like, exploded. And I was, like, never feeling more terrible about myself or, like, turned off from dating in my entire life. Coming from the girl who's obsessed with love and. And dating. And so I was like, I'm. I don't want to do anything. And then what happened was, is a friend of mine is a makeup artist, and she has done, like, all of my friends, like, bridal makeup, baby shower, the whole nine. And she was doing one of my friends looks for her baby shower, and she was like, how's Nicole. Like, I haven't seen her in a while and one of my best friends was like, oh. She's like really devastated. Like she just went through a terrible breakup. And she was like, that's great news because I've got my. I think she should be with my brother in law. She's like, I've been waiting for her to be single because I never thought she belonged with that guy and I wanted her to be with my brother. I was like, oh. And so then, so my, my, my best friend, she was like, you can like reach out to her. Like, I don't know. She's like ready right now to like be in a relationship. But like, I'm sure she'd be open to it. And she trusts you because she knows you. And then so she messaged me like the next day and she was like, so I heard you're single. I know you're mourning a relationship right now, but like, when you're ready, I have a guy for you. Just trust me. Just go on like one day and like, I want you to go out with him. Yeah. And I was like, listen, I love you, I appreciate you and I know I like, I trust you, but I'm just like not ready right now. Like I. I was in therapy. Same thing. Like, just like taking care of myself, getting myself in a better mental place because it was really bad. And. And then like say like a few weeks went by and I like messaged her and was like, okay, I'm ready. And then she. We exchanged numbers and then the rest is kind of. Then we. We've been together since. And then we just. I like, didn't date anybody else. Like post first breakup. I only went out with him.
- [30:09]
A
Wow. And yeah, so it wasn't any rebound. It was like. No.
- [30:15]
B
Yeah, it was very clear. You know, I think the. And this. I would recommend a friend set up. Recommend a friend set up any day because you kind of get a sense of like who the person is in terms of like their morals and values.
- [30:28]
A
You know, if they're a good person, they mean.
- [30:29]
B
Yeah. It was so different, Sarah.
- [30:32]
A
Like a background check.
- [30:33]
B
Like, yeah, 100. And there's like a deeper level of understanding. Like, because we both kind of came from the same place of like the way we were raised and things like that, that like, it was instant. Like, if I, as someone who was very guarded and very scared, he made it so easy to like let down those walls because. Yeah. Because of who he was.
- [30:55]
A
Wow. So if you had to say like one thing that you didn't have in a past relationship that you found that you have now? What would it be?
- [31:05]
B
I'd say I feel like I could completely rely on him. I'm very much like an independent person.
- [31:11]
A
Trust.
- [31:12]
B
Yeah. But, like. But also, like, if I needed something or like, maybe it's more of, like, a safety thing.
- [31:18]
A
Okay.
- [31:18]
B
Actually, maybe I'm using the wrong word. Maybe it's more of a safe thing. I have always kind of operated as an independent silo, and I've, like, always been that way growing up and even in relationships, like, I'm not, like, a needy person. I don't need to see you every day. I don't need to talk to you all the time. Like, I kind of. I like doing my own thing. That's why I, like, I travel by myself still. Like, I don't need to be with a person all the time. And it's like, it takes a lot for me to ask for, like, help with things. Right where. With him, like, and because I don't want to. It comes from a fear of being, like, let down or disappointed because I would rather, like, struggle myself than be disappointed by somebody else. Yeah. So I. So. But with him, like, he's made it really easy to, like, he's, like, caught me kind of thing, like, you know, when I was, like, falling or having a hard day or. Or I need support. He kind of does it without saying, in small and big ways.
- [32:14]
A
Examples.
- [32:15]
B
Yeah, for sure. Like, little. This may seem like a stupid thing, but, like, little thing. For example, like, a light bulb is, like, not working. I would kind of just kind of leave it there until all of the lights burned out and, like, not say anything.
- [32:28]
A
It's not that big. Yeah.
- [32:29]
B
It's like, I can still see it's fine. But, like, he takes it upon himself to, like, find out what the light bulb is and then go and do it. Like, I don't have to ask him to do it or, like, little things. If I had a really rough day, like, he'll check in on me a million and one times. If whenever I'm, like, driving or, like, I get somewhere, he's always making sure. Text me when you get there. Let me when you know when you get there. And it's not in a control way. It's in, like, a real caring, like, I want to make sure you're safe and okay way.
- [32:59]
A
Like, he's only good if you're good.
- [33:01]
B
Yeah, you know? Exactly, exactly. Little things. Like, if I had. I remember, like, I had just moved into my new place and I Was still kind of going through, like, the divorce. Let's just say we weren't married, but it felt like a divorce. And I had, like, had, like, a really rough day, like, moving and stuff. And I went over his place, and I was, like, just in shambles, like, crying of, like, I just want this to be over. Like, it's still deal with it. And he just, like, just, like, hugged me, poured me a glass of wine. He just hugged me, and we were. He put, like, some, like, music on, and he just started, like, dancing with me in his living room. It was so sweet. And I'm, like, getting emotional, talking. Oh, really? Yeah. Because it just, like, feels, like, different, and I feel really lucky. Yeah.
- [33:44]
A
And I think it says a lot about a character, too, to be seeing you in a, like, dark place, coming through a different breakup and not saying, oh, she's with somebody, or she was with somebody else and she cares about him still. Yeah. And say, no, let me help. Let's go through it together and let me work with you to get you to the other side.
- [34:02]
B
Totally. It was like, two things can be true. Like, you can be, like, mourning something and going through a really hard time, but also, like, falling in love with someone at the same time.
- [34:10]
A
And is that kind of when you knew, you know, this could be the person?
- [34:15]
B
For sure. In that moment, I think is when I thought to myself, like, I love this guy. Like, for sure.
- [34:18]
A
I love that you have so much emotion with even speaking about this, because it truly shows that, like, even. I mean, how long have you been dating?
- [34:27]
B
Like, a year and a half.
- [34:28]
A
A year and a half. So a year and a half later, and the story still feels as compassionate and compelling to you as it probably did that day.
- [34:36]
B
Yeah, for sure it does. I, like, you know, nothing. No relationship is perfect. Don't get me wrong.
- [34:41]
A
Absolutely.
- [34:41]
B
I, like, want to wrap my hands around his neck and kill him every night, of course. And he drives me insane. But at the same time.
- [34:48]
A
Yeah.
- [34:49]
B
Because of all the. That I've been through, I, like, know what's in front of me, and I, like, want to love and nurture it as much as I can.
- [34:57]
A
And I don't know if you even felt this way, too, but with the divorce or the.
- [35:01]
B
Yeah, yeah, we'll call it that. Yeah.
- [35:03]
A
With the divorce, you probably were like, what? There's. I can't. I'm never gonna find someone. Like, it's not gonna be. There's nobody else. Like, that was my shot. Like, what? What now? Totally finding someone. You're like, oh, My God. Thank God. But it's also, like, for the people that are listening that feel like they're at the rock bottom, there are people out there, and you might not feel it yet. You might be in that dark place, but, like, just give yourself a bit of time and some grace, and there will be someone out there for you for sure.
- [35:32]
B
It's. I really didn't think that I was capable of, like, trusting someone again or, like, feeling like that again. And I can say, like, I feel even more of, like, a deeper love for him than I didn't know that I was, like, capable of.
- [35:45]
A
Really?
- [35:46]
B
Yeah. So it's like. Yeah, like you're saying if you're in a place of feeling like, I can't believe I have to start again sometimes. There's, like, real. A lot of beauty in that, in being able to kind of find someone who really is everything that you want. I actually, like, before I even went out with him, I'm like, a bit of, like, a hippie, dippy girl. I like, made a whole list of qualities of things that I wanted in someone, and I made a list of qualities that I didn't want. And I really. I still have that list. And I think to myself, like, wow. Like, I feel like I, like, manifested this, like, coming to me because I felt ready to receive it, too. Like, I was in a place where I could receive that sort of person, and I knew that I wanted that. So. Yeah.
- [36:31]
A
And I think, obviously I mentioned the whole thing of not being a rebound, because everyone says after, like, the first person you get with, but I mentioned this before, and I was talking to a friend about it, and I'm like. She's like, I feel like I'm ready. Like, I just got out of a breakup, but I feel like I'm ready to date again. Like, I don't think I was the problem. Like, I've worked on myself enough. And I truly think, yes, it's this whole thing that a lot of people have agreed on, that there's rebounds after a relationship. But it's also a huge thing when you get to a certain age and you understand who you are and what you want and what a relationship should look like, and you've done the work on yourself personally. You don't have to just, you know.
- [37:07]
B
I don't believe it's a time thing. No. I don't think you need to go out with so many people to, like, be over someone or it has to be so many months or the. I know there's some sort of, like, Ratio, like, of like, if you were in a relationship for this long, you need to be broken up for this long and on your own. Like, I, I don't believe in that because. Yeah, I think it's like a personal, very individual thing of like, if you know who you are and what you want, then you don't need time. Like go after it.
- [37:29]
A
Yeah. And are you mentally ready to move on or are you still holding on?
- [37:33]
B
Exactly.
- [37:34]
A
Or you think you're gonna get back together? Like it's. Where are you at what other people say or what they're telling me. It's like, where are you at in that? So we have a success story. We're still waiting on mine, but I'm sure it'll go.
- [37:45]
B
It's coming. You're so young. I've. Okay. In between 25 and 34, girl.
- [37:50]
A
There's like how many relationships?
- [37:51]
B
There's probably. I don't even have like a number, but that means there's too many. But probably at least five or six.
- [38:00]
A
Okay.
- [38:00]
B
Like serious relationships. So. I'm so sorry. There's probably more to come. I never story times, but more stories and like, again, it's gonna bring you to like who you're meant to be with, you know?
- [38:11]
A
And you're 34. How old is he?
- [38:13]
B
He's 34 as well. 34.
- [38:15]
A
Okay. Same age.
- [38:15]
B
Yeah.
- [38:16]
A
You don't hear that very often.
- [38:17]
B
No, no. It's very funny the way that that worked out.
- [38:20]
A
Did you always go for like the same age or were you.
- [38:22]
B
No, I always dated a little bit older. Not too old because then I was always afraid of like, he wants to wife me up and like have kids.
- [38:29]
A
It's like, I'm not ready.
- [38:30]
B
No, I don't want it. Yeah, I'm not ready. So like I always did like, I'd say like two, two years, three years. Like the age difference that I have dated.
- [38:40]
A
And we love that you're in a good, healthy relationship. You kind of touched on during the whole pod. Obviously some stuff of work and what you did and being, you know, in the limelight of TV and everything. Let's dig into that kind of career path because I think you don't hear that every day either. You don't know the behind the scenes as to how you get to be a face of television. You've talked a lot about on. I forget what I think it was like your website producer.
- [39:12]
B
You are a producer of lifestyle content. So I, I, so I report and I say like the host, whatever TV personality, forward facing is like part of my job, but actually, like, the. The meat and potatoes and like, the origins of me being in television was as a producer, which is like, you write a bunch of scripts, you, like, organize talent, you select locations, and then you kind of work with the editor to put it all together. The producer is the person who sees a piece from the very beginning to the very end of production. The only person an EP traditionally will see something at the very beginning. In the very end, cameraman just shows up to shoot everything and that's it. The editor only sees, like, the edit he doesn't see, like, when you're on set. So as my job, it's kind of to piece everything together. Yeah. So I love to. Like, I started in this. In this field because I love that part of my job where I could, like, creatively be a part of something from beginning to end in, like, a really unique way. And so. Yeah, and then I kind of started getting into. In front of camera because, like, yourself, like, I loved talking to people and you're very. I love writing questions, but I like talking to people, like, and developing, like, a relationship with people.
- [40:23]
A
So do you think that that made you more socialable?
- [40:27]
B
Because I feel like that's yes, but no, because I've always been like, a pretty. It's funny. Like, I'm an outgoing person, but I'm an introvert, which means, like, I recharge being alone rather than being around so many people. But I'm a pretty. Like, I've always been. I used to be a dancer when I was a kid, and I was. Grew up a competitive dancer and figure skater. And so I was always performing. I was like, putting on shows for my parents, like, in the kitchen. Like, that's what we. That's what we did. So I was like, I feel like that was always the moment put me on the screen. Yeah, I was like, that was like, the easier part of things, for sure.
- [41:04]
A
And first job when you got into, like, take me through a bit of the path in the history short form as to. Yes, starting and doing producing, but for what company? And then how you kind of got on to being the face.
- [41:16]
B
Yeah, for sure. So I was a. I was an intern first at Entertainment Tonight Canada, RIP So sad. But I was there for my, like, last semester of school.
- [41:28]
A
Okay.
- [41:30]
B
I was at Ryerson tmu and. And we were. So it was like half semester you work from Masthead, which is like the newspaper TV of, like, the school. Okay. And then half a semester you do an internship. And so I did an internship and I worked My butt off. I did all the things of getting coffee, vacuuming, being the first one at the office, the last one to leave. Like, I, like, did everything and everything. I literally took the clothes off my body once to give to a model because the producer liked my outfit better than her. Like, I'm not even kidding. Yeah, I was so.
- [42:00]
A
You're like, subtle flag.
- [42:03]
B
And so it was like I. Yeah, I worked my butt off. And then there was an opportunity that came up and I had to make a sacrifice. And I did. And then. And then, yeah, I was so glad that I made the sacrifice because then, like a week later they called me with a job offer and. And then I had worked there for about five years as a producer and Entertainment Tonight. Yeah. And then I did some, like, on camera stuff here and there for, like, social media and stuff like that. And. And I figured out, like, oh, like, I think that's, like, where my next kind of step is. I feel like I've, like, done a lot here and I don't feel like I'm going to grow anymore. There was a bit of, like, a ceiling where the EP kind of didn't want me to grow more. And so I was, like, thinking about. I, like, I pitched, like, new positions, new, new things all the time. And it's so funny how I like that feeling. I was like, so, like, I wasn't happy, like, being there anymore. I needed an out, but I didn't quite know how. Where the out was.
- [43:03]
A
Right.
- [43:04]
B
And then the stars kind of aligned. And then I got an offer. I got an email from the executive producer at Breakfast Television, and she was like, I'd love to meet with you. I know, like, you work with E2E at full time, but I'd love to, like, put you in front of the camera for live. I.
- [43:18]
A
Were you reaching out to.
- [43:20]
B
No. Or she came to you? She came to me. I didn't reach out at all.
- [43:23]
A
Okay.
- [43:24]
B
And. And we sat and had lunch together and I said, like, I've never done live TV before. Like, ET is all, like, heavily produced, you know. And she was like, no, I think you'd be great. I think you can do it. Like, we'll support you and give you everything that you need. And I was like, okay. She, like, wrote the contract. And then two weeks later, it was. I signed my papers, I said my goodbyes, and then I. And then, like, three weeks from that date, I was on air every morning. So then I was. I did BT for about two and a half years and it was like 3am call times. And I worked because I produced myself a bunch as well. So I would like go on air in the morning. So I'd be up at 3am, we'd have our morning meeting. Then I would drive to the location, do my own hair and makeup, drive to the location that we were at. I was like all over the GTA because I was in the field. Rain or shine, doesn't matter.
- [44:13]
A
Holy.
- [44:14]
B
And then we would do the show. We'd be live from 6:45 was my first hit. And then I would be wrapped by 10, like on air. And then we'd have our post mortem meetings from like say 10:30 to 11:30. Then I'd have another meeting after that to decide what's for the next day. 11:30 to 12:30. Then it was my job to chase a story for the next day. So I was doing cold calls and emails for an outreach to be like, oh, this is trending today in the news, so I gotta be there on location tomorrow. So then I wouldn't finish my day traditionally till like maybe five, six o' clock.
- [44:47]
A
Then you're starting at three.
- [44:49]
B
It gets better. And then I would do. I wanted to do extra stuff, so I would cover like entertainment stuff sometimes like the Bachelor or Dancing with the Stars.
- [44:57]
A
Jesus Christ.
- [44:58]
B
So I would do interviews after those shows or have to watch them live to do interviews the next day. So I was like. When I. It was like the most unhealthy I've ever been in my life. I think. So many energy drinks. Yeah, it was like coffee. I was like, I'd only take like, I take like 3 hour naps kind of thing. Like, that was how I survived. It was awful. And then Covid happened and. And it shifted everything. It was like the strangest thing. The. The girl who was supposed to be out in the field talking to people could not do that.
- [45:27]
A
Yeah.
- [45:28]
B
So like, we had to find other ways around it. And it was like one day you could do one thing, the next day you couldn't. Then you're being yelled at because on TV perspective is different and you're too close and la la la la la. Just hot mess. And shortly after, anyway, we got through it. And then shortly after all of that, it was so funny. It was like I made it through the hardest time and then they let me go. I was like, are you kidding me? Like, I wish you just let me go earlier. And so I was like, devastated and so surprised because it's like we already gotten through everything. Like now we're back to normal and everything's great. It was like there's no reason.
- [46:00]
A
That's crazy.
- [46:01]
B
Budgets, changes, all the things. And so yeah, that was really hard.
- [46:05]
A
Out of your control?
- [46:06]
B
Out of my control and accepting that it's really hard as a control freak.
- [46:10]
A
So I can't even imagine.
- [46:12]
B
But then it was so interesting because my former mentor at ET had a different position and he had started like another division working for chorus and they worked with like, like specialty channels. So that's like wtv, Food Network, which is now Flavor hgtv, which is now Home Showcase Global, all those channels. And he was working on a specific division and said like, I need a producer, like will you come and like work? It's like freelance so it's like project based. I was like, no problem. That gives me time to like I still make money and I can figure out like what I want to do next. So that happened and then I got like another job on camera. Then I got another job on camera and then I got my job with CP24. And in doing all of this I really made sure that I was signing non competes which meant because that's what screwed me with bt that when I finished there, there was. I had to get like lawyers because they. In the initial contract that I had, they had me exactly that. I couldn't work with another station for like months and months where I was like, you can't take away my livelihood after. You're the one that let. Yeah. I didn't even choose this. So it was like selfish. It was a lot of back and forth and the whole working for like.
- [47:29]
A
The like that's how you made your money.
- [47:31]
B
Yeah.
- [47:32]
A
That's crazy. They basically like you over.
- [47:34]
B
Yeah. Wow. So. So then the aftermath of all of that, I like was very, you know, careful about like moving forward again. Like a hard lesson learned and like having to fight for that lesson learned. But yeah, I was. I'm able to create this like freelance life where I have a show on CP24 that I co host with Teddy Wilson who is like the loveliest human. I'm like, I feel so blessed to work with him and their crew there is amazing. I love the team. And then I still produce on the side which is really great. I'm able to coast and I work part time for different places and then I get to now do podcasting as well.
- [48:11]
A
So let's talk about that. Why mismatched?
- [48:14]
B
Because. So miss Because I'm not married.
- [48:18]
A
So is it going to change if you get married?
- [48:20]
B
Maybe. Maybe like have a little fun like X through it, you know, you're envisioning the logo, but. But yeah. And it's kind of like a play on words. Like, because it's. I have never been paired with the right person, so it's like a mismatch. But it's miss because it. I'm not married and I'm a miss, not a misses and.
- [48:44]
A
What ha. What are you talking about? I know your chaotic files of love, whether that's stories of dating or just love in different ways. And can you kind of explain what exactly they can find when they watch your pod?
- [48:57]
B
Yeah, for sure. I say, like, to find love in all its forms. And I. And what I've grown to understand is that, like, romantic love isn't the only kind of love that we experience that makes up the importance of your life. I've learned, like, self love is. Has been like a huge exploration for me and kind of figuring out what that looks like romantic love as well, because that is complicated. And I think as you get older, it gets more complicated and people don't, like, prep you for that. It's like, so what happens after you're married or what happens. You know what I mean? Or divorce. Like, I have friends who are like, separated or divorced in their mid-30s. You know, like, these are like organic.
- [49:40]
A
Relationship relationships from a job.
- [49:42]
B
Right?
- [49:42]
A
That was your. Even, like your relationship. It was like what you were doing for every single day. 100% all you knew.
- [49:49]
B
100. So all these kind of layers and facets and even like parenthood and how that changes relationships, whether it be like friendships as well. Like, I just, I think it's so interesting how all of these kind of layers evolve as we get older. And so, yeah, it's talking to different people about all those things.
- [50:07]
A
And you're now after kind of explaining and getting deep into your personal life, do you feel like it's going to be. Be difficult to be open on your own pod, or do you think it's going to be almost like, refreshing, resilient, like exhilarating? What's the word?
- [50:23]
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [50:24]
A
To be kind of talking about all those things and kind of having to share your opinion? Because on a podcast, even if you have a guest, you're still giving your side of the story too, in your opinion.
- [50:34]
B
Totally.
- [50:35]
A
How do you think that's going to be with, you know, all the situations that you're going to cover or all the topics you're going to cover?
- [50:39]
B
It's interesting because, like, so I've already, like, done a few of them that are like, as you know, you kind of bank and release. Yeah. And I, like, found myself, like, getting emotional, like, re. Like talking about certain things or kind of talking about also situations and the past from a different perspective, reliving it. So it's. It's kind of been like, again, like, also, like, very healing and also, like, there's a new self confidence and self assurance that I have in kind of saying it all out loud, which you don't always get the chance to do.
- [51:10]
A
Yeah.
- [51:11]
B
Yeah. You know, so it's been like, I've really enjoyed it.
- [51:14]
A
Yeah.
- [51:14]
B
It's a different kind of conversation that I'm not used to. That feels good.
- [51:18]
A
Yeah.
- [51:19]
B
Yeah.
- [51:19]
A
And I mean, I totally can relate to that because I felt the same way. But I also think sometimes you're scared shitless. I'm like, I, yes, that happened to me, but I don't want to put that on the Internet, you know, you're really brave.
- [51:36]
B
I look to you and I'm like, wow, if she can do it, then I have to do it. I can do it.
- [51:40]
A
Some people are like. Like, I've. Because I say so much about dating and I'm single, it's like, fuck. Some people are like, okay, if I'm dating this girl or let it be.
- [51:52]
B
Known that I'm gonna be on the Internet.
- [51:54]
A
So I think that that's what holds some people back. But at the end of the day, that's the life that I chose. So I think that that's kind of the only negative, but also that's my life.
- [52:01]
B
So it's just like, you want someone who's confident enough to handle it, and if they can't, then that's an immediate.
- [52:06]
A
And that's on the flag 100%. Since you said red flags.
- [52:10]
B
Talk about a transition, really talk.
- [52:13]
A
And we've not even planned. See, now we know that you're a podcast. So I came up with this little game because I thought it would be fun, because you being, you know, 34 and having all these relationships and the stories that I just watched when. Or the stories that I heard when I was watching your first episode, I'm like, okay, you've been through some shit too.
- [52:32]
B
Yes.
- [52:33]
A
So I came up with these. Red flags are fixable.
- [52:35]
B
Okay.
- [52:36]
A
And these are some situations that people have written in or just some that I thought were. That we could kind of dig into. I'm going to give you a situation. You're going to say if it's a red flag too much so. Or if it's fixable to stay with the person okay, got it. He's still friends with his exes, but he swears it's chill.
- [52:56]
B
That's so tough.
- [52:58]
A
Would you be like, red flag, we're not going on another date. Or would you be like, okay, fixable, we can, we can talk this out.
- [53:04]
B
Fixable. I say that because I would. If that was happening to me, I would make it my life's mission to befriend these things girls. I'd be like, I need to know who he's spending, how he's having these conversations with and who he's like talking to. And I feel like if I trusted them, then if I got to know the girls and I, I'm pretty good with like, I can tell if you're like, full of shit or not.
- [53:26]
A
Yeah.
- [53:27]
B
Or like, if you're like, I know that you're into him, I feel like I'd be able to like, weed that out. And then I would say to him, hey, I know she has a crush on you. Like, I need you to make some distance. Or like, I don't feel comfortable with this.
- [53:38]
A
And I think that's the thing. It's like, like, how long has it been?
- [53:41]
B
Yeah.
- [53:42]
A
Because if it was recent, that sexual attraction can't just go away overnight.
- [53:46]
B
Yeah.
- [53:46]
A
I don't want to have to envision that and think about it. So for my own sanity. Absolutely not.
- [53:51]
B
Yeah.
- [53:52]
A
Like, no, thank you. I mean, self growth needed on my end, but at this point, not at all. Not there.
- [53:57]
B
So.
- [53:58]
A
Yeah. No. So you said fixable. I say red flag because you kind of had like a. You're like, this is gonna be a learning experience for all of us.
- [54:06]
B
Yeah.
- [54:07]
A
Like you were ready to and it doesn't.
- [54:09]
B
Maybe that's the wrong way to look at it.
- [54:11]
A
No, that is brilliant. I'm just like petty. Like, fuck you.
- [54:15]
B
No.
- [54:15]
A
If you've hooked up within the last three years, you're out. Next thing is. So he says he's emotionally intelligent, but you've never seen him cry within three years of dating him.
- [54:28]
B
Oh, I think that's a red flag. A red flag for sure. I think if you're emotionally intelligent, you're in tune with like, like, like tears or sadness. And like, but actually tears can be symbolic of something really happy, like I just experienced earlier or something really sad. So I think like, that should come out within three years for sure.
- [54:51]
A
Have you seen your one and a half year?
- [54:55]
B
Yes. Oh my God. He's like, he'll hate me for saying this, but he is like the biggest. But it's very sweet. Like, he. Oh, when he cries, it makes me cry. I like. And I actually saw him cry probably sooner than he would have liked to. He was talking about his grandmother and, like, getting emotional as she. Like, he was telling me how she passed away and talking about their relationship. And that was the first time I saw him cry. And he was getting, like, really choked up, and he was embarrassed, and I was like, no, it's, like, really beautiful that you can, like, talk about her and express them, you know, I want to do more. No, Sweet.
- [55:27]
A
I agree. And I think. Yeah. Like, not even a red flag at all. I think it's honestly a green flag because. Or this is a red flag. But I think it's a green flag for men to cry and share their emotions. Because, I mean, yes, I know the whole thing of, like, guys don't want to show their emotions in front of, like, other men and stuff, but if it's your significant other.
- [55:43]
B
Yeah.
- [55:43]
A
And you're dating for a while, like, you should be able to understand what's triggering. What have you gone through that, like, you needed me for, you know, or like, what. What was the state that we were both in that. That made, you know that you were secure and protected by each other?
- [55:59]
B
There's a safety thing. If you feel truly safe and trust the person that you're with, then you can be vulnerable and show emotion like that. So that's really important.
- [56:07]
A
If he has a podcast, is it a red flag?
- [56:09]
B
No, I don't think so. I don't think so. I think that's interesting. And it brings, like, a different dynamic of, like, talking shop when you come home from work.
- [56:18]
A
I don't know. I don't think I could. No, I can't be with someone that's, like, the same.
- [56:22]
B
Does the same thing. You know what, Kay? I'm talking out of my ass, though, honestly, because I always said I wouldn't date someone in tv.
- [56:28]
A
Well, okay. Yeah.
- [56:30]
B
So, like, I'm not putting it the same way that you are, because I say. But the reason why I say that is because there's a lot of ego and, like, a lot of TV personalities have, like, big egos.
- [56:43]
A
But when I hate that kind of had.
- [56:45]
B
Totally.
- [56:45]
A
It's on an Ah. Kind of is.
- [56:47]
B
And I hate that. So I was like, that's like an immediate.
- [56:50]
A
Like, have a vodka best.
- [56:51]
B
Yeah, you have to. You have to have confidence. But there's confidence and then there's, like, egotistical. There's, like, a big difference. And I think. And maybe this is, like, a sexist Thing to say. But more guys that do it are, like, egotistical.
- [57:03]
A
Yeah.
- [57:03]
B
Than confident.
- [57:05]
A
Yeah. They're trying to be, like, macho man. Like.
- [57:06]
B
Yeah.
- [57:07]
A
Like, oh, my God. People are gonna need to listen to this.
- [57:09]
B
Yeah.
- [57:10]
A
Unless they're doing it for a genre of, like.
- [57:14]
B
Yeah. Like education. Or like.
- [57:16]
A
Yeah.
- [57:16]
B
Yeah.
- [57:16]
A
Like, if they're just starting a podcast for their own life and, like, telling stories, I feel like that's probably egotistical me. But I think that we're talking about.
- [57:26]
B
The guys, not YouTube.
- [57:27]
A
If they're doing it for a certain genre to fill people in, educate people, that's different.
- [57:32]
B
Yes. Agreed.
- [57:34]
A
I also couldn't, like. No, you do something else. I chose this one. I picked this. You go do something else.
- [57:39]
B
He can't start it after he's already have to have it before you date. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [57:44]
A
Last but not least, texts you every three weeks. Like you're on a payment plan.
- [57:51]
B
Like, not just three.
- [57:52]
A
So, like, it takes you every three weeks, obviously.
- [57:54]
B
No, absolutely not. If you're not obsessed with me and messaging me all the time and, like, thinking of me, then go away.
- [58:02]
A
No. And, like, who is gonna wait three weeks to. For someone.
- [58:06]
B
Oh, I forgot. I. I forgotten about you.
- [58:08]
A
Forgot about you. If it's three weeks, you forgot about him. Yeah. No. Absolutely not.
- [58:12]
B
No. Red flag.
- [58:13]
A
Okay.
- [58:13]
B
Okay.
- [58:14]
A
One more thing, because this was a very funny question, and I put different kind of games here, but I'm gonna ask you one question from. It's called Juicy Scenarios.
- [58:22]
B
Okay. So this is.
- [58:23]
A
You get a text. What do you do?
- [58:25]
B
Okay.
- [58:25]
A
Okay.
- [58:26]
B
Love it.
- [58:27]
A
Your friend wants to date your ex. Oh, your last ex. Do you let her, like, do you respond to her and say that that's okay, or do you, like, ghost it? What's the.
- [58:40]
B
Oh, no. I would pick up the phone and say, are you. Can I swear on here you can.
- [58:45]
A
Say what I'm talking about.
- [58:45]
B
Are you fucking insane? Number one, that your mind went there. We're not friends anymore. And number two, I can't believe you had the balls to even say that to me. Goodbye.
- [58:55]
A
So after my. Thank you for saying that, because after. When I found out about it, I put them in a group chat and said, how. How was the fuck? Or something when I found out that they had sex.
- [59:07]
B
Yeah.
- [59:07]
A
My best friend and my ex boyfriend. And she said, I've liked him the whole time you've been dating him. So it was kind of like a text as to being like, oh, my God. Like, if it was. If it went her way, they'd be.
- [59:22]
B
Yeah, which is crazy. Together.
- [59:23]
A
No, no, they never did it after. So, like. No, you both are just pathetic.
- [59:27]
B
You dodged a bullet.
- [59:28]
A
Dodged a bullet.
- [59:30]
B
Seriously.
- [59:31]
A
Also, haven't seen him in, like, seven years.
- [59:35]
B
Wow.
- [59:35]
A
You know, people.
- [59:36]
B
Totally. It's weird.
- [59:38]
A
People just don't put people in your life.
- [59:39]
B
I live in the same neighborhood as my freaking ex, and we have not run into each other yet. And I'm like. I also feel. I'm like, there's a reason. Yeah, we were never meant to cross. And I'm like.
- [59:48]
A
And it's just. It's not even worth your breath. Like, it's not worth your energy to even have some weird feeling of seeing them again.
- [59:55]
B
The universe is protecting you and not allowing that to come in. We need to be in your circle. Yes.
- [60:00]
A
Yeah. Exact. Exactly. Well, thank you so much for coming on.
- [60:03]
B
Thank you. This was so fun.
- [60:04]
A
This went by so fast.
- [60:05]
B
I know. We have to do this again.
- [60:07]
A
And if you want to find Nicole, watch her podcast. They can also find you on any of your personal socials. And what's your app?
- [60:15]
B
Ms. Match Pod on Instagram and Mismatch Podcast on Spotify, Apple, and then on. On Instagram and social media as well. My name is Nicole Cervenus. So, yeah, it's just my name. That's it.
- [60:28]
A
She's great.
- [60:28]
B
You can find me on all the.
- [60:29]
A
Things and you might find me on hers.
- [60:31]
B
Yeah.
- [60:31]
A
Who knows?
- [60:31]
B
You will.
- [60:33]
A
Thank you guys for listening. Like, comment, subscribe, and I will see you next Thursday.