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- [00:00]
Sarah Lauren
We do not need men. They are an added bonus and fun in our life. We are okay being single also, like, go to the bar and get guys to pay for your drinks. Flirt a little bit. You're single about it. To go back into that bad bitch energy, there's a few things that you need to focus on. Our mission, especially this summer, should be plans with your girlfriends, making more friends, being even more inclusive, making those fun memories with them and making your bond even stronger. Be more like, oh, my gosh, I get to go work out today. I get to go out tonight. We don't have anyone now begging us. You don't have to do what they want to do. You can do everything. You get to do it. Hello, everybody, and welcome back to Tall Belong. Hello, everybody, and welcome back to Tall Blonde. I was about to say Sarah Lauren, but this is hosted by Sarah Lauren, and this is for the tall blondes and I was gonna say the top lawns only, but it's not. It's just for people that want to give off Top Blonde energy this summer, let me tell you, okay? We are in a whole different energy. We are switching our mindset in this episode, okay? We are transforming ourselves from like, maybe it's a post breakup, maybe it's a slump, Maybe it's something that you're going through in your life, or maybe it's someone that you're talking to that you just don't think is it. We are switching our mindset to make us feel and know that we are the main character and we do not have to be in that slump. We can change the storyline, okay? I also think, because I. I guess I'm gonna call it a breakup, breakup recovery, okay? And there are so many things out there that we can look forward to and be excited about that don't have to do with boys. Yes, boys can add fun to it, but our mission, especially this summer, should be plans with your girlfriends, plans with your friends, plans with that group, making more friends, being even more inclusive, making those fun memories with them and making your bond even stronger. And then of course, if you meet guys out, when you guys go out for dinner or go out afterwards, that is an add on to the storyline, okay? That's an add on to the plot. That's something that you guys can all have a FaceTime or sit on a couch hungover and talk about. That's a story for you guys to laugh at. We do not need men. They are an added bonus and fun in our life. But we are okay being single. And I think to go back into that bad bitch energy. There's a few things that you need to focus on. One being who's your circle? How are you going to avoid being lonely? Because that's a big thing that does make you text your ex or text a past person in your life. And I've been a victim of it. I'm sure we all have. But what are those things that you can kind of distract yourself, and that is making plans with your friends, saying, okay, next weekend, I don't have any plans right now, and I'm probably going to be lonely. So let's do dinner, let's do wine and paint night. Let's do something that's fun, something that you guys would look forward to and have fun with. I think there's also, you know, things that if you don't want to drink and you don't want to go out, you can also do, like a full day of workouts, wellness, cold plunges. If you don't want to spend any money, do a walk, do a. Adopt a dog for the weekend. I don't give a. But do it and look forward to it and have things that you can look forward to that do not involve any guys. Of course. I mean, not of course, but I am talking to people in my life and guys. But, like, I'm not looking for a relationship, so I'm looking forward to making these memories with the girls. I don't think there's been a time in my life where I've never been talking to a man, like, even just a little bit, or having hope that there is going to be a relationship coming. So I think this is an even new era for me. This is different for me to not have, you know, someone reassuring me every second or saying, good morning, beautiful, or telling me I'm beautiful or giving me that physical attention or anything. Like, this is time for me to be comfortable with me, be. Be active. I always say, like, when you look good, you feel good. So I want to be more. Living that balanced lifestyle, more doing. I don't want to take myself away from, like, all the fun and boozing and drinking and partying and whatever, because I love that life. I love being social. But I think there's a way to do it with balance where we can still get to an even better place physically, mentally, you know, listening to those podcasts, reading those books, maybe watching a documentary or some. I don't know, or taking some new classes or going for more runs outside, staying active and making goals in that part of your life. And not just living for the weekends or the Fridays anymore because I feel like I kind of have been doing that. And not that I'm losing momentum in other parts of my life, but like, I'm proudly a very balanced person and I want to continue that. I don't want to lose that. So in order to do that, I need to make goals, physically working out more, making like sure that I set up, you know, book classes or even just write in my notes. Like on Monday I'm doing this, on Tuesday I'm doing this set time so that I hold myself accountable to do that and then also, you know, make sure I say I only want to. This might be a lot for some people and don't judge me, but I only want to go out three days max a week. Okay, three, I know, is a lot, but it's less than half. And if it were four and it were half, you don't have enough day days to recover. So I think three is a good number because I'm very social. I like to talk to people, I like to meet people. I'm still gonna make new opportunities and new, you know, memories that I can share with you guys and share on my socials and, you know, learn through them. But I also think that that gives me enough time to like be good and be sober for other days. So I think I'm going to for sure do the whole three to, what is it, three to four day ratio. Three days I can go and drink, but that drinking three days doesn't mean like drinking. Then you're hungover and you're right off the next day. You could be out till 3, 4am I don't give a shit. But you, if you're gonna do that and you're gonna hold yourself accountable to go out and not give a shit that night, you need to wake up and get your shit done the next morning. Like, you need to make sure that you're still doing that. Like that is balance. Balance isn't just, you know, being a write off and then like one day working out. It's if you want to have fun, you do that. But then you also hold yourself accountable. Yesterday I slept through my workout and I was so mad at myself. And some guy that I was doing work with said, if you're gonna be doing that, you gotta wake up the next morning and just go hungover. And I was like, oh my gosh, you are so right. Like, I cannot be doing that. And I never did. So it kind of like makes me mad that I allowed myself to Go down that path. It was a day, but whatever. But I'm still mad at myself because I know that I can do more, I can get there, I can do it. Maybe it's not the best workout in the world, but I'm still checking off my to do list. I'm not, not doing anything. And that's balance, baby. That's still having fun, that's still working hard. And then if you're balancing that and you're going to work out and you're having fun, not only are you mentally, you know, still stimulated in meeting new people and having fun, you're also physically feeling better. So there's no getting guilt. There's no, like, scaries. There's no. I mean, there might be scaries if you're doing crazy things, but, like, there's nothing too much to worry about. You're still balancing your life in a rate. I mean, like, if I never went and drank, I understand that I could probably have a six pack because I work out five days a week, but that's just not the life I want to live. And I don't want to be depressed for whatever, because if I hold myself inside and I don't do social things, that brings me joy, that makes me happy. If I take that away and just like 180, don't do that kind of lifestyle anymore, I will be so in a hole and so down bad that I don't even. I don't. I couldn't do it. I just want people to do it. So I'm gonna make sure that I'm making it still fun, making it still achievable, but putting myself on a good track for that. If I see any of my exes in the summer or out at any time, they're still gonna look at me and be like, oh, my God, she is still doing amazing without me. She didn't spiral, she didn't go down a dark hole. She's still doing probably even better without them. We need to start romanticizing our lives. Be more like, oh my gosh, I get to go work out today, I get to go out tonight, I get to wake up and. Or even sleep in on a Sunday by yourself and not have someone, like, pushing you or living their life, whatever. I'm talking about like a boyfriend, because they're always like, get up or whatever. I mean, that's my experience. But we don't have anyone nagging us. We don't have to do what they want to do. You can do everything. You get to do it. You don't have to. Now you get to pick and choose whatever you want to do. You're romanticizing and living the life that you wanted. You are now the main character in your own movie. How do you want this movie to play out? How. What do you want the girl in that movie that you're watching to feel, to do, to put herself out, to be? Like, chase those goals. Write them down. Put things into action. Don't just say it or think it, like, actually talk about it. Put it into existence and start making this life that you've never even known could be true. Like, we have to switch our mindset and start thinking, like, happy, go lucky, fun, entertaining, everything. Things that you want to talk about that you want to share with people. Like, start doing those things. Also, I think it's tough because if you don't live with someone, like, you might be lonely. But I think just making plans and things is so important. Or even, like, you don't. I understand. Like, even for me, like, I'm trying to budget, I'm trying to spend less. So me saying, like, going out or me saying, like, going, doing, like, workout classes and stuff, that's all costs money. But when I'm saying that, you can also do the alternatives of, like, going for a run, doing a, like, workout outside at a park, doing, you know, Pilates with your friend in a random. Maybe you guys have a gym in your apartment. I don't know, something. Okay, YouTube it and you'll find something. But you can have fun without, you know, having to spend so much money. And I'm trying to learn that myself. Also, like, go to the bar and get guys to pay for your drinks. Flirt a little bit. You're single. Have at it. And get guys to pay for you, because they probably will. Or just, like, make eyes with them. I fuck them a little bit. And they'll probably pay for your bill. So practice and you'll probably get what you want. Also, follow your goals and not your mood. I think that's what my roommate told me today. I was in a little bit of a slump, but she was like, remember, like we always say, follow your goals and not your mood. Wake up. If you don't want to do it, still do it. Because you'll be even more in a slump if you don't do it and you follow your mood. If you just do it, yeah, you won't be in the best mood. It might not be a 10 out of 10, but you still got it done. You can still redo it the next day. If you have to. But you still did it. You're not going to be mad at yourself. So because I brought up my roommate, because she's such an amazing human being, and because she's here, I'm gonna get her to join in with this one because she has high, high spirits today and we need that energy.
- [11:29]
Amy
Hello.
- [11:30]
Sarah Lauren
It's so much more comfortable when you're here.
- [11:33]
Amy
Yeah. We haven't done this in a while.
- [11:35]
Sarah Lauren
No. Everyone write in the comments why you think Amy should be on more episodes. Because I think I need convincing and I could write a novel about it. But, like, I say it every day and, like, sometimes it goes in one ear, out the other because we talk so much.
- [11:51]
Amy
Yeah. Yeah. But we also, like, were laughing the other day because we live together, we do everything together. And sometimes we go out and, like, we will be at a table and in the deepest chat, like, anyone can come up and try to talk to us. And we're like, not now.
- [12:10]
Sarah Lauren
Like.
- [12:11]
Amy
Like, you think we hadn't seen each other in years.
- [12:14]
Sarah Lauren
And like, no, it was so funny because I think this has happened like 17,000 times. But we were out one night. I don't even know we. This happened at King Tau. This happened at a brunch. This happened like seven times in the last week. But we were out and, like, eating and drinking and we were, like, talking about how we were bullied or how, you know, in grade five, someone's mom said something rude to me.
- [12:39]
Amy
Elementary trauma.
- [12:40]
Sarah Lauren
How do we get that deep?
- [12:43]
Amy
I don't know how it took that turn.
- [12:44]
Sarah Lauren
And I swear I've heard every story that you've experienced twice.
- [12:48]
Amy
Yeah.
- [12:48]
Sarah Lauren
And I'd love to hear it a third time. Like, you probably will. Yeah. I would love to go out again and be like, so that one time, like, tell me it again. I would. I would love to hear how your sneaker fell off during the race in grade two. You know what I mean? Yeah, that happened to me. I'll explain that in a different time, but.
- [13:05]
Amy
Okay, we'll come back to that later.
- [13:09]
Sarah Lauren
So what we kind of had envisioned for this was because I'm single and, I mean, we don't need to talk about dating every single time. But it's kind of funny how even if you don't want to have a full blown relationship, you can still be talking to men in different areas just for, like, fun and, you know, you know it's not serious. And if anyone were to ask, obviously you can be open and honest, but you can also flirt with people and not think it or not expect anything out of it.
- [13:39]
Amy
Yeah.
- [13:40]
Sarah Lauren
So that's exactly what I'm doing. And Amy has seen it all, heard it all. Everything that I'm even thinking in my head comes out to her. Like, I was staring out the window, and she's like, are we good? Is everything. Yeah. Wellness check. How's it going? So I told her to ask me a few questions. You guys could dig a little bit deeper into my life, because I'm hitting the blank right now, guys. I'm hitting a wall.
- [14:06]
Amy
You're doing great.
- [14:07]
Sarah Lauren
Please enlighten them about me.
- [14:10]
Amy
Okay.
- [14:11]
Sarah Lauren
Ask anything. Promise I'll answer.
- [14:14]
Amy
Okay. The. Some of these we've, like, discussed recently, but I just thought that your response was so great that we should share it with the larger audience. Okay. This one is just like, a icebreaker.
- [14:26]
Sarah Lauren
Okay.
- [14:27]
Amy
What do you think your future husband is doing tonight?
- [14:30]
Sarah Lauren
Oh, my God. My future husband's not going out? Actually, no. My future husband is going out to grab dinner at somewhere that I haven't even heard of yet. He's working. He is an entrepreneur, and he's doing. Did you ask me this because, you know, I'm going so in detail.
- [14:48]
Amy
No.
- [14:49]
Sarah Lauren
Okay. He is an entrepreneur, but he also works a. Or he did work a 9 to 5 and, like, started his, like, entrepreneurship.
- [14:58]
Amy
Humble beginnings.
- [14:59]
Sarah Lauren
Yeah, humble beginnings. And then he did so well in the entrepreneur thing that he, like, took the money that he made, invested it into it. He's doing so well. He's now managing, like, a team of, like, 50 people. And he still works on the weekend, but he still has time. Like, if he's talking to someone right now, which is fine. Like, it's fine if you're talking to someone. You can learn your lessons because the champ is coming here. But, like, get all that out of here.
- [15:25]
Amy
Have your fun now.
- [15:26]
Sarah Lauren
Have your fun now. But also. And I want you to be experienced. Like, I want you to know what being in a relationship is like and everything. Like, people are like, oh, I wish there was nobody in your past. No, I'm so okay for you to have a hoe phase for you to be in relationships. I don't want you to have cheated ever. But, like, I'm okay for you to have lived a life before me so that you understand now what you have with me. But went off on a little tangent, but he is actually going out for dinner tonight with some friends, and he goes out after with them. But, like, it's just, like, to, like, a bar in, like, the restaurant, and then he's like, guys, I Have a busy day tomorrow he goes home because he probably gonna go to the gym early morning and then meet someone that is maybe gonna invest in his company for coffee at like 11.
- [16:15]
Amy
Wow, that was like exactly the answer I expected. Really?
- [16:19]
Sarah Lauren
Yeah. Is it you that he doesn't have a dog, but he will.
- [16:22]
Amy
Oh, he doesn't have a dog.
- [16:23]
Sarah Lauren
No.
- [16:23]
Amy
He'll get a dog.
- [16:24]
Sarah Lauren
He'll get a dog.
- [16:24]
Amy
You're in his life.
- [16:25]
Sarah Lauren
Yeah.
- [16:26]
Amy
That was a great answer.
- [16:27]
Sarah Lauren
Thank you. Did you expect anything less?
- [16:29]
Amy
No. And if you are listening and you are doing that on a Saturday night, you know where to find Sarah.
- [16:36]
Sarah Lauren
Like maybe do a code. Do code four. Say no. Code four to us means something so different.
- [16:44]
Amy
They can't do a code for yet.
- [16:47]
Sarah Lauren
Code for to us. One time, my ex lives in the city, so I was. We just moved in together.
- [16:54]
Amy
Yeah, this was early days.
- [16:56]
Sarah Lauren
Early days. And we were walking to, like, pick up something from like a busy street. But like, we had to walk past. We didn't have to. We went. We went on the side of the street because we knew, yeah, an ex was inside. So we went. But I was wearing low rise jeans and they were a size too big. So I go, amy, I can't pull them up because that's embarrassing. But my pants might drop to the floor and they're gonna scream, we have a coat for. And close the blinds. And now he's really gonna see me.
- [17:24]
Amy
No, you were telling me, oh, my God. I think your hands were like, full. Like you were carrying something and your pants were falling and you were like, oh, my God, my pants are falling off. You're like, what if they just fall right down? And I'm just walking in my underwear in front of. When she's trying to be seen by her ex. And as we're saying this, the security comes outside and he's like, taking around.
- [17:45]
Sarah Lauren
I'm like, we have a code 4.
- [17:46]
Amy
We have a code for. And so now anytime we're walking around in the nude.
- [17:50]
Sarah Lauren
In the nude.
- [17:51]
Amy
I'm like, oh, we got a code four.
- [17:53]
Sarah Lauren
Literally. And that's like, often for us.
- [17:55]
Amy
Pretty often.
- [17:56]
Sarah Lauren
I'm like, who's code fouring today?
- [17:58]
Amy
The neighbors. All they see is code Fours.
- [18:00]
Sarah Lauren
No, thank God. Some of the buildings that we live around, like, are still empty. So, like, thank Jesus for that one.
- [18:07]
Amy
Yeah.
- [18:08]
Sarah Lauren
But we are pretty big nudists.
- [18:10]
Amy
Yeah, I would say so. Do you watch Friends?
- [18:14]
Sarah Lauren
I've seen it. Yeah.
- [18:15]
Amy
Do you know the Ugly Naked Guy?
- [18:16]
Sarah Lauren
No. Oh, from across the thing.
- [18:19]
Amy
We're. We're basically.
- [18:20]
Sarah Lauren
We Are the Ugly Naked Guy.
- [18:21]
Amy
We're the Ugly Naked Guy.
- [18:22]
Sarah Lauren
Tall girls. Tall.
- [18:24]
Amy
We're the Pretty Naked Girls.
- [18:28]
Sarah Lauren
Thank you for specifying that.
- [18:30]
Amy
I can't do us like that.
- [18:31]
Sarah Lauren
Okay, but write into my dm, say code blue.
- [18:35]
Amy
Code blue.
- [18:37]
Sarah Lauren
If you're spending your Saturdays like that, and I will answer and we will get married and live a happily ever after.
- [18:42]
Amy
That's good.
- [18:43]
Sarah Lauren
And then we can buy a dog.
- [18:45]
Amy
Okay, are you ready for question number two?
- [18:47]
Sarah Lauren
Yeah, hit me.
- [18:48]
Amy
What's something that makes a man instantly more attractive?
- [18:52]
Sarah Lauren
Height.
- [18:53]
Amy
Okay.
- [18:54]
Sarah Lauren
And, like, good style, good hygiene, good teeth. I love a good outfit. Height.
- [19:02]
Amy
Okay. What about, like, final answer? I love where you were going with that. But, like, okay. I feel like you give them a good look. Like, okay, maybe it's not like a 10 out of 10 man, but, like, what's something that he can do to become more attractive?
- [19:18]
Sarah Lauren
Like, beyond looks. Polite. Polite, like good manners and, like, soft spoken. Like, I know it's opposite of me, but, like, very, like, timid. Like, listening. And you know, they're listening. Like, they're. That's what I like. Like, I like someone that's gonna chill me out. I might be spiraling, but if they're listening to me being like, huh, okay, then, like, it calms me down and I'm like, you have worked on yourself. You clearly know how to deal with situations. You're mature, and they can give a compliment. Like, they're not, you know, trying to be the funniest person in the room. The last person in the room. They are okay with who they are. So confidence.
- [19:59]
Amy
Yeah, that's confidence for sure. Okay. Love that.
- [20:04]
Sarah Lauren
Is that what you thought I'd say?
- [20:05]
Amy
No, not really. But, like, that's a great answer.
- [20:08]
Sarah Lauren
What did you. What would you have said if I asked you that?
- [20:12]
Amy
Like, probably very similar. Like, someone who is, like, mature, like, same thing, isn't, like, dying to, like, give their 2 cents or, like, be the loudest one in the room or be the center of attention. Can just, like, sit and, like, be comfortable and, like.
- [20:29]
Sarah Lauren
Yeah.
- [20:29]
Amy
And, like, listens. Good manners. For sure that I thought you were gonna say that. Polite, funny.
- [20:36]
Sarah Lauren
Mm.
- [20:37]
Amy
Like, if you can make us genuinely laugh or, like, understand the same sense of humor, you're in.
- [20:43]
Sarah Lauren
We are so weird. Like, so weird. Like, so, so weird.
- [20:49]
Amy
Should we.
- [20:51]
Sarah Lauren
You. Are we this, like, same amount of weird? Or would you say one of us is weirder than the other? I'm probably weirder.
- [21:02]
Amy
I would say you're a little weirder, but, like, in a great way.
- [21:05]
Sarah Lauren
Like, I just Speak about it more. You definitely think the same things that I'm thinking. But I'll do it.
- [21:10]
Amy
Yeah, sometimes you have just like, little bursts of, like, craziness.
- [21:14]
Sarah Lauren
Sing a tune.
- [21:15]
Amy
Yeah.
- [21:15]
Sarah Lauren
And she'll be like, that's from like, 1830. And I'm like, how do you know.
- [21:19]
Amy
If that song exists? Like, where does that come from?
- [21:22]
Sarah Lauren
I also don't know words to song, so I just, like, belt out with a beat.
- [21:28]
Amy
Yeah. Or you don't know anyone's name.
- [21:31]
Sarah Lauren
I never know people's names.
- [21:33]
Amy
No, she'll be like, oh, my God, how was dinner with Alyssa? I'm like, girl, Alyssa doesn't even live here. Like, what are you talking about?
- [21:40]
Sarah Lauren
Yeah, but like, you know my intention.
- [21:43]
Amy
Yeah, yeah, your intentions are always just only the best.
- [21:47]
Sarah Lauren
And, like, I'm genuinely wondering, like, it's not like, I'm just saying that to, like, say it cuz, like, you came home from it. I'm like, no, like, I didn't ask you, like, how was dinner? Like, did you, like, enjoyable? Like, I genuinely give a fuck.
- [22:00]
Amy
Yeah, no, I know.
- [22:01]
Sarah Lauren
I'm a very curious person.
- [22:02]
Amy
But I was gonna say, because we're on the topic of men that understand a good sense of humor and how important that is, I was gonna lead into how funny it was when you brought a few men on the pod on a. We were having a pre, and Sarah had like, lights, cameras, everything going on.
- [22:22]
Sarah Lauren
I've never met these people in my life.
- [22:24]
Amy
And she's like, come sit down and take a selfie with me.
- [22:27]
Sarah Lauren
I said, yeah. I go, come take a selfie. It's great lighting.
- [22:30]
Amy
And then she's like, ann, we're rolling. Welcome back to Tall Blonde. And they're like, whoa.
- [22:35]
Sarah Lauren
What? They were so good, though. And like, this is what I like. Like, I am. I talk a lot and I'm totally okay for people to tell me, like, listen, like, you're talking a lot. Or like, you. You're going, I was talking about an ex because someone knew one of my exes. And I was like, yeah, blah, blah. And I was explaining the story in depth. I was giving a good explanation. And one of them goes, you're talking a little bit too much about the ex. And I was like, you know what? Respectfully, you are allowed to come over whenever you want. I think you said it in such a nice way. And like, you didn't just go back to your boys and be like, she's hung up on this X. Blah, blah. Because you could have said that. I'm sure people are like, immature and do that, but, like, you were just telling me. And of course, I'm gonna try to give you the biggest detail ever. I was half in the bag. So, like, I'm gonna give you every detail that ever happened with him. Every text message you sent. But, like, you saying that to me, I'm like, no. Acknowledged. Noted. Let's switch to the conversation.
- [23:36]
Amy
Yeah.
- [23:37]
Sarah Lauren
Who are your exes? You know what I mean? Like, it, like, I love people.
- [23:42]
Amy
Or that he checked you in, like, the best way, and then you were like, wow, I appreciate that. And now I. I'll just bury that story.
- [23:48]
Sarah Lauren
No. And I was like, I forget who we were even talking about at this point. So nice. I love that. I love a man that can be a man and say what he wants to say in a genuine way. It's not, like, off. It's like, you've been talking about them a lot. Let's switch it up, you know, in a genuine way.
- [24:03]
Amy
Yeah. They were great, great company, but unfortunately, the pod will be locked away in the vault because these are corporate men, and they don't want it out there.
- [24:13]
Sarah Lauren
Yeah. Apparently. They were so funny and so weird. They matched our weird energy.
- [24:18]
Amy
They brought the weird energy. Like, we were playing it cool for a little bit.
- [24:22]
Sarah Lauren
Oh, no, I definitely had it.
- [24:24]
Amy
Yeah.
- [24:24]
Sarah Lauren
I came in and I was like, vodka.
- [24:26]
Amy
They did come over after bottomless mimosas. So.
- [24:29]
Sarah Lauren
Yeah. And that's another explanatory grade five. I was like, you know. You know, it's a best friend when you, like, never run out of things to say.
- [24:41]
Amy
No.
- [24:42]
Sarah Lauren
Because, like, sometimes, you know, you have your very close friends. Like, you could even call them a best friend, but you kind of find it a burden to hang out with them a little bit because you're like, oh, we have to catch up, and blah, blah. And of course, like, living with someone is so different, too, because you're, like, living life with them. But it's also, like, you have to trust someone so much to share all of that information with. Like, the things that I shared with you, genuinely. I've only told to, like, people that I've known for, like, 25 years.
- [25:14]
Amy
Yeah.
- [25:14]
Sarah Lauren
I'm 24.
- [25:16]
Amy
And I don't know how that works, but it's an honor.
- [25:21]
Sarah Lauren
It's an honor.
- [25:22]
Amy
And same with me. Like, sometimes I say things to you, and I'm just like, I don't know how she feels.
- [25:27]
Sarah Lauren
No. Yeah. We both look at each other and I'm like, you're not gonna tell anyone, right?
- [25:32]
Amy
Like, I'm like, I don't even know if I would say that to myself in the mirror.
- [25:36]
Sarah Lauren
No, literally, I'm like, how is she reacting? She. Look, is she on her phone now? Is she texting this to somebody else? Is she.
- [25:43]
Amy
I would never.
- [25:44]
Sarah Lauren
Calling 911 for help. Blink twice if you need help. No, I'm kidding. But I agree. I'm the. I feel the same way. Also, like, so as you know, or as you should know, our siblings are, like, in a very committed relationship.
- [26:00]
Amy
Yeah.
- [26:01]
Sarah Lauren
And we're like, don't it up for us. Like, we. You can't. They're. They first said, like, I remember. I don't think I've told you this, but we, like, weren't that close to friends before we moved in together. But, like, we were still friends. Like, we knew each other and, like, both follow each other and everything. And I, like, you were great, but, like, I just never knew you as well as I do now. But my mom was like, if you live with her, you cannot fuck this up for your brother. I was like, whoa, first of all, like, who do you think I am? Like, if anyone's gonna fuck it up, going to be Amy. Like, it's not going to be me. I'm fine. I was like, oh, God, here goes nothing. But now it's, like, so funny to look back and be like, don't. Both of them are probably. They better be watching Maddie and Peter. Don't this up for us now.
- [26:56]
Amy
Okay?
- [26:56]
Sarah Lauren
We're in it for the long haul.
- [27:00]
Amy
We are in it. We're in a committed relationship.
- [27:03]
Sarah Lauren
Because yesterday we were talking to, like, someone, and we were literally like, I've never dated so much someone as much as I've dated you. But, like, in a different way. Obviously, like, emotionally, we are aligned, always aligned.
- [27:20]
Amy
And even if we're not aligned, you're like, okay, let's do this, then let's, like, adjust and become aligned again.
- [27:25]
Sarah Lauren
And that's, like, what friendship should be, especially when you're getting older. It's like, if you're not comfortable with something, like, like, even, like, I'm so open with my life on social media. You are a little bit less than me. But, like, I'm okay with pivoting my idea that I wanted to include you in, to still have you in, because I want you to be a part of my, like, you know, life and stuff.
- [27:48]
Amy
Yeah.
- [27:48]
Sarah Lauren
But, like, I don't take offense to it. I'm like, no, no. I. I might not understand it because I've never been where you were in those shoes, but I'm like, no, totally, absolutely. Like, let's. If you're telling me this and you're like, being open and honest, I will switch whatever. Because I care more about us than I do about this one little thing that needs to happen, you know, of course.
- [28:13]
Amy
Which I feel like is a big thing. Like when you're living publicly and like doing social media, like, a lot of people have boundaries around that. And I feel like you're good at being very respectful of, like, if someone doesn't want to share something, you're like, okay, we won't talk about that. I won't go there. We'll delete that. Like, we didn't put the guys last weekend.
- [28:32]
Sarah Lauren
Yeah. On the podcast, even though I really wanted to.
- [28:35]
Amy
It was great footage.
- [28:36]
Sarah Lauren
It was so funny. Maybe one day they'll, like, when they're not that drunk, they'll come on and just like shoot the. But like, not, you know, give their story. Maybe they'll, like, ask me questions or something because they're funny. You would love them.
- [28:49]
Amy
But we did meet a man that was just such a stand up guy. He's gonna be on the podcast. We love him.
- [28:56]
Sarah Lauren
His perspective is unmatched. He gave me hope that good men are out there.
- [29:05]
Amy
Me too. Me too. Like, I was really losing faith.
- [29:08]
Sarah Lauren
Yeah, I. I lost faith. Like, faith was not with me and he was just sharing something that happened and his perspective on it. And I was like, I might be falling for you. I might have feelings for you now.
- [29:27]
Amy
Yeah. This is an example of something that makes a man more attractive.
- [29:31]
Sarah Lauren
There you go.
- [29:31]
Amy
It's like the maturity, emotional maturity. He just understood it. He was listening.
- [29:36]
Sarah Lauren
And he doesn't even have sisters. Craziest thing, normally men are not emotionally intelligent if they do not have a sister in the family. You can have a mom and be mama's boy. I kind of think that's unattractive because like, like, yes, love and respect your mom. Like, you don't need to be a mama's boy, whatever. Like, that's a whole different episode. But if you have a sister, you see them go through their period, you see them, you know, get treated differently by men and like, you know, getting broken up with, cheated on, things like that. You see how vulnerable a woman is and insecure in some situations or how her self confidence grows and plummets and does whatever. It's so different when they don't have a sister and see that or grow up with that.
- [30:17]
Amy
So different. And I think both of us grew up with brothers and it gives you such a Different perspective and, like, such high expectations. Like, I know anything I'm doing. If I, like, have a crisis, call my brother and he will drop everything he's doing and help me. He's done it a million times, and he would do it a million times again. Same with your brother.
- [30:37]
Sarah Lauren
If I even had a weird feeling and I called him, he'd be like, okay, like, what do you need? Like, how can I help? Even if he wasn't in the same country, like, he would help me, he would come. Like, he would do whatever was needed to be done. But I also think we would do the same for them.
- [30:50]
Amy
Yeah, of course. I mean, has my brother ever called me for help? I don't think so. I think I'm his first call. But, like, I would love to be.
- [31:00]
Sarah Lauren
If anybody's called me for help.
- [31:03]
Amy
Well, maybe not like, oh, how do I, like, hang a shelf? But, like, probably, like, for advice.
- [31:09]
Sarah Lauren
Yeah, maybe for advice.
- [31:11]
Amy
Should we talk about the little social experiment that we did?
- [31:14]
Sarah Lauren
I already talked about it. Oh, last pod. Perfect. The week before this.
- [31:19]
Amy
Great.
- [31:20]
Sarah Lauren
What were your other questions that you had for me? There's so many things that, like, we could talk about because.
- [31:30]
Amy
I have a good one, because we kind of spoke about this yesterday, but it's a great conversation.
- [31:37]
Sarah Lauren
Okay, go.
- [31:38]
Amy
Can girls and guys ever just be friends?
- [31:41]
Sarah Lauren
Okay, so my answer has always been no, because one of them. Okay, but my answer has always been no. But then, like, once people explain, like, the. Well, like, if you don't hang out with them, then, like, you can still be friends. Okay, yes, you can still be friends, but you cannot be best friends. Hanging out every day, one on one, FaceTiming, wanting their attention and, like, telling them all of your secrets and this and that with the sex that you're attracted to because someone is liking that attention enough to, like, keeping it coming. And they would have sex with you if you were intoxicated or something or, like, it came to that and they were lonely or something.
- [32:29]
Amy
Especially if you're in a relationship. I think it's, like, so inappropriate to have. And you know what? I'm not that type of, like, controlling person.
- [32:37]
Sarah Lauren
I am. I for sure am.
- [32:39]
Amy
But I think if I am dating someone and he's like, oh, this is like a girl best friend. Like my ex boyfriend used to have. Like, this is so embarrassing. But, like, he would Snapchat girls from his hometown while we were dating, and he's like, oh, it's a friend. It's a friend. I'm like, that's so fucking weird.
- [32:56]
Sarah Lauren
Weird.
- [32:56]
Amy
Like, what are you talking about? And like, and you, why would you.
- [32:59]
Sarah Lauren
Need attention or a picture from another girl on a day to day basis when you have me like you, when you should be grown enough and your older 20s to understand that your time should be spent on you and your life and whatever and giving to your girlfriend the attention that you have or just like building up the attention. You do not need to send other girls pictures. Every single picture that you take to send to someone, it should be going to me. But also, like, I'm very. I just don't see the need. I don't see the need of having girlfriends. I am also very sensitive, I think also like going through being cheated on and stuff that makes you see it in a different perspective. Obviously. Now I would never date someone that I don't fully trust. But like, I'm gonna have to set limits with someone saying like, listen, because I've been cheated on. I. Now if we're in it for the long run, I'd say I need to know if you're staying late somewhere and you're not home the time that you told me you're gonna be home. I need to know that people showed up when you. When I asked you who was going and you didn't tell me them because you didn't know that they showed up. I need to know that this person texted you even though it didn't mean anything and you didn't answer. I want to know. I don't want to hear things from other people because I've heard things from other people. And you saying it wasn't true and it was true from different relationships that now, now it matters. It was nothing before, but because it came to something and I didn't know about it and I was embarrassed about it and it caught me by surprise. Now I care.
- [34:37]
Amy
Yeah.
- [34:37]
Sarah Lauren
Now I'm more sensitive.
- [34:39]
Amy
Totally. And like, your partner should understand your history and like everything that makes you the way you are. And if you have insecurities or you need more from them, like, they should just be so willing to give that to you. But like, I just don't. I don't know. I think of course you can have like male friends in your life, but there's always, always gonna be a little bit of like someone's gonna eventually cross the line.
- [35:05]
Sarah Lauren
Yeah. It's never like you're drunk at a party or you're both lonely or you're both whatever. Like it's always gonna happen. You do not need that. The only guy friends that I have in my life Like I said yesterday are my cousins, my cousins, my male cousins. They're not even related to me, but, like, I've been friends with them since I was little. Little, little, little, little. So I called my cousins and for all I know, we're related.
- [35:28]
Amy
Yeah.
- [35:29]
Sarah Lauren
And if you're dating me, that's the only guy friends I have. Yeah.
- [35:34]
Amy
I would just feel so uncomfortable, like, texting a guy or like Snapchatting DMing. Like I feel like.
- [35:41]
Sarah Lauren
And breaking a line.
- [35:42]
Amy
Yeah.
- [35:43]
Sarah Lauren
Like I'm like, crossing a line or like something like disrespecting someone in some, in some sort of way.
- [35:49]
Amy
Yeah. And I think, like, in future relationships, like, that's how I would know if I'm like, being dramatic about something. I'm like, okay, if I was doing this, would I feel guilty about it?
- [36:00]
Sarah Lauren
Yeah.
- [36:01]
Amy
Like, if he's like, doing something and I'm like, am I. Am I just blowing this out of proportion? I would, like, put it in my perspective and be like, hey, if I was doing this to him, would I feel bad about it?
- [36:11]
Sarah Lauren
And you asked me, like, when I was like, thinking of, like, the what happened with my last, like, situationship thing that I just ended with, I said to you, I was like, even if he didn't cheat, which he probably did because it's happened like seven times before. Even if he didn't cheat, is this still something that I could put up with? Like, am I overreacting here? And you said to me, and I will not forget this, you were like, well, would you have ever done that? Would you have ever said that you're gonna do this, bail on it, nazi someone for a week, and then like, bail on everything and, like, choose a friend that you just said before that you didn't have fun with and you didn't have a good time. And like, I was like, never, never in my life would I do that. So first of all, it's sketchy. Second of all, there's a bad history. So, like, there's 99%, there's a more likely chance that you did something shady than you didn't. But third of all, what you should always ask yourself is, would I have done that to you? And I wouldn't, so why am I in a relationship with someone that it's more one sided? The respect at least is one sided.
- [37:18]
Amy
Yeah. Not aligned.
- [37:21]
Sarah Lauren
And we're all happy that that one, that chapter's closed.
- [37:25]
Amy
I was just waiting for that chapter to end.
- [37:28]
Sarah Lauren
You know, it was coming. But you had to let me figure it out myself. And that's also what we talked about yesterday. We're like, sometimes like you can tell somebody the best advice in the world, but you just have to share a different perspective or ask a good question to make them realize it themselves or else they'll never understand or they'll never like you could it just going to go in through one ear out the other.
- [37:51]
Amy
And you can never make someone's decision for them. It's like you have to just let people come to their own conclusions. You can give the best advice. At the end of the day, they're going to do what they want to do. So I mean, obviously as a friend, like give your opinion, give your support, but like people are gonna do what they're gonna do anyways.
- [38:11]
Sarah Lauren
Yeah, you told me not to entertain that and I entertained it and look how it turned out. But also we did say this. We've both been cheated on and what are we better for it.
- [38:22]
Amy
Better for it.
- [38:22]
Sarah Lauren
We have grown so much. And honestly, like, I'm happy I went through that because if I have a kid or like my kids kid's friend that like went through something like that, I can say, trust me, you think it's the end of the world. It's not like you are gonna be so much better for this.
- [38:37]
Amy
And I think it's like a canon event that really changes your perspective on like who you want in your life and like what you would look for in a partner going forward. Like, there's so many things that I just was like, oh, he would never like do that to me. So I just like overlooked so many things. Now I'm like, no, I'm never putting up with that again in a partner. I'm never like letting those things slide.
- [38:59]
Sarah Lauren
Like dissect other things that happen that you're like, how did I let that go? Like, that was so wrong. And at the time I just believed him saying that he had to answer because she's crazy. I'm like, like, hello. Anything in there?
- [39:16]
Amy
Like, no, but I always look at it and I'm like, how did I even let someone like pull the blinds. Yeah, Pull one over on me like that. Where I was like believing it and I put up with it and I accepted that in my life.
- [39:31]
Sarah Lauren
And it's so. It's not funny, but like, I think it's funny because it's like, it's so funny now because people can literally make you like everyone else that's gonna be in my life. You have a fine line if you cross that. I'm being like, go yourself, don't even look at me again. Like, I, like people can ruin it for the rest of them. What's one thing that you're looking forward to this summer?
- [40:00]
Amy
Oh, my God.
- [40:01]
Sarah Lauren
One thing specific.
- [40:04]
Amy
There's so many things, but definitely sitting on a patio with a cold drink. The sun is beaming on you. You're tanned, you're not wearing a lot of makeup. You're just. Just, like, chilling, not worried about anything. That is, like, peak life for me.
- [40:24]
Sarah Lauren
And, like, having so many opportunities coming your way, being like, oh, people are doing this, people are doing that. Should I do this tomorrow? Oh, my gosh, this person's doing this. Like, people are just so different in the summer that it's like, there's so much going on that it's like, you, we were just talking about this today. You want a break. Whereas right now, where I'm like, oh, I'm kind of bored. I, like, there's not much going on. No. Like, I want to feel so overwhelmed with so much good coming my way that, like, I don't even have time to second guess myself.
- [40:52]
Amy
You also haven't had a Toronto summer in a while. Three years, let me tell you. Toronto literally comes to life in summer. Like, you haven't. You think you've experienced Toronto. We've been having so much fun. But you don't even know. Toronto really, like, blooms in the summer.
- [41:09]
Sarah Lauren
Okay, I believe it. So.
- [41:11]
Amy
So buckle up.
- [41:12]
Sarah Lauren
So if anyone wants to come visit, let us know. But please, if you enjoyed this podcast, subscribe. Like comment. Tell us why we want Amy on again. Because I do. And if I do, then you should, too. I love you guys. I will see you next Thursday. Bring the good vibes and maybe a drink and I'll see you there.