Podcast Summary: "How To Outsmart A Cheater" Episode of Tall Blonde by Sarah Lauren
Introduction
In the episode titled "How To Outsmart A Cheater," hosts Sarah Lauren and her friend Joelle delve deep into the complexities of relationships, particularly focusing on dealing with betrayal and personal growth post-infidelity. Presented by MBHTV and released on November 15, 2024, this episode offers unfiltered conversations, personal anecdotes, and actionable insights to help listeners navigate the challenging terrain of toxic relationships and self-improvement.
How the Hosts Met
The conversation begins with Sarah and Joelle reminiscing about their university days in Toronto. Sarah recounts how, despite not initially being close friends, shared experiences during the COVID-19 pandemic brought their core group closer, effectively turning them into a sisterhood over two years.
- Sarah (00:20): “Sometimes that comes back to you and you want that good feeling and those good things that are happening.”
- Joelle (02:09): “We're both from London... like an average size city compared to other cities.”
Experiences in Toronto and New York
Sarah shares her experiences of moving back to Toronto after a stint in New York, highlighting the stark differences between the two cities. She expresses nostalgia for Toronto's vibrant yet familiar environment and contrasts it with the overwhelming and less genuine vibe she felt in New York.
- Sarah (01:10): “So today we're going to be talking about we. How we met... but we'll talk about nightlife and everything before, like, literally three years ago.”
- Joelle (48:07): “Your overall vibe just wasn't there. I feel like when you lived in Toronto... you are like a social butterfly.”
Navigating Friendships Post-University
The hosts discuss the evolution of friendships after university, emphasizing the concept of "ambivalent relationships" as described by motivational speaker Mel Robbins. They explore the emotional fatigue that comes with maintaining superficial friendships and the importance of prioritizing meaningful connections.
- Sarah (17:56): “So that was a season where I would fall everywhere.”
- Joelle (18:19): “I feel like your true friends... I have some people that I do feel like it's an obligation or a chore.”
Understanding Toxic Relationships
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to dissecting toxic relationships and the psychological impact of being cheated on. Sarah introduces the concept of an "ick list"—a personal tool she developed to remind herself of the negative aspects of past relationships to prevent returning to harmful dynamics.
- Sarah (33:40): “I was like, A, B, C, D, E, F, G. Like everything that.”
- Joelle (35:21): “Just be happy without them. Create, like, a completely different life where they wouldn't even know how to fit into it.”
Strategies to Outsmart a Cheater
The hosts share practical strategies and mindset shifts to empower individuals dealing with cheating. Central to this discussion is the idea of distancing oneself both physically and emotionally from toxic environments and individuals. They advocate for embracing personal happiness as the ultimate form of "revenge."
- Joelle (34:37): “But the biggest revenge is just being happy.”
- Sarah (35:34): “You can't recover from that.”
Personal Growth and Life Coaching
Transitioning from past relationships, Sarah discusses her journey into life coaching and therapy. She highlights how these practices have enhanced her ability to understand and support others, as well as fostered her personal growth. This segment underscores the importance of self-awareness and continuous learning in overcoming relationship challenges.
- Sarah (23:46): “I'm still doing classes every Tuesday and Thursday for my life coaching, which has actually made me think of a lot of things in a different way.”
- Joelle (24:06): “What type of clients are you hoping to get? Like life coaching wise...”
Insights from Media: "Tell Me Lies"
The hosts discuss the TV show "Tell Me Lies," using it as a springboard to explore the intricacies of toxic relationships. They reflect on how media representations can mirror personal experiences, offering both validation and triggers for those who have been cheated on.
- Sarah (28:42): “Anyone that has ever been cheated on needs to watch this movie because it gives you such a different show.”
- Joelle (30:21): “It's very triggering because it's like, you have been that person before.”
Conclusion
As the episode wraps up, Sarah and Joelle reiterate the importance of self-care, setting boundaries, and prioritizing genuine relationships. They encourage listeners to seek personal happiness and growth as the most effective ways to move past the pain of cheating and build a fulfilling life.
- Sarah (35:36): “That's boys for you. And girls. Sometimes girls can be shitty.”
- Joelle (52:03): “But thank you guys for listening. Please subscribe...”
Key Takeaways
- "Ick List" as a Tool: Maintaining a list of negative experiences in past relationships can help prevent falling back into unhealthy dynamics.
- Prioritize Meaningful Connections: Focusing on a smaller circle of true friends is more fulfilling than maintaining a large, superficial network.
- Embrace Personal Growth: Engaging in life coaching and therapy can significantly enhance self-awareness and resilience.
- Distance Equals Healing: Physically and emotionally distancing oneself from toxic individuals and environments is crucial for healing.
- Media Reflection: TV shows and movies like "Tell Me Lies" can provide valuable insights and validation for personal experiences with toxic relationships.
Notable Quotes
- Joelle (00:20): “Time heals everything. But also, don't put yourself in crappy situations.”
- Sarah (33:40): “I was like, A, B, C, D, E, F, G. Like everything that.”
- Joelle (35:21): “Just be happy without them. Create, like, a completely different life where they wouldn't even know how to fit into it.”
This episode of Tall Blonde offers a candid exploration of overcoming betrayal and fostering personal development. Through relatable stories and thoughtful discussions, Sarah and Joelle equip listeners with the knowledge and motivation to outsmart cheaters and cultivate healthier, more rewarding relationships.