Unfiltered Girl Talk: Breakups, Burnout & Becoming THAT Girl Anyway w/ Izzy Santulli

Summary

Podcast Summary: Tall Blonde

Episode: Unfiltered Girl Talk: Breakups, Burnout & Becoming THAT Girl Anyway w/ Izzy Santulli
Release Date: May 16, 2025
Presented by: MBHTV

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Guests:

• Sarah Lauren: Host of Tall Blonde, focusing on dating, city life, and achieving 'it girl' status.
• Izzy Santulli: Beauty and lifestyle content creator with over 500,000 TikTok followers and host of the podcast Not So Silent.

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1. Welcome and Introduction (00:00 - 03:11)

Sarah Lauren opens the episode with an energetic introduction of Izzy Santulli, highlighting Izzy's significant TikTok following and her podcast Not So Silent. Izzy reciprocates the warm welcome, expressing admiration for Sarah's intro.

Notable Quote:

• Sarah Lauren (00:36): "Any press is good press. Some people were on me, but it’s more views, that’s more whatever."

2. Authenticity in Social Media and Personal Branding (03:12 - 06:00)

The conversation shifts to the importance of being genuine online. Both hosts emphasize the frustration with influencers who project a different persona in real life compared to their online presence.

Notable Quotes:

• Izzy Santulli (03:24): "I swear I've seen you personally."
• Sarah Lauren (04:12): "The whole point of having a platform, isn't it to be your fucking self?"

3. Building and Maintaining a Personal Brand (06:01 - 14:04)

Izzy shares her journey into content creation, detailing her transition from being a lash technician and part-time office worker to embracing affiliate marketing and eventually building her own brand. Sarah echoes similar sentiments, discussing her path from dance studies to becoming a social media influencer.

Notable Quotes:

• Izzy Santulli (06:31): "Affiliate marketing led me to the love of social media and what I do now."
• Sarah Lauren (08:45): "I wanted to be a teacher... I majored in dance just because I was like, it's an easy degree."

4. Navigating Personal Relationships and Breakups (14:05 - 32:34)

Both Sarah and Izzy delve into their personal experiences with long-term relationships and breakups. Sarah recounts her seven-year relationship with her high school sweetheart, highlighting the challenges of personal growth within a prolonged partnership. Izzy discusses her own breakup and the emotional turmoil that followed, including navigating work environments post-breakup.

Notable Quotes:

• Sarah Lauren (20:27): "I think it's impossible almost to learn who you are individually when you are with someone for that long."
• Izzy Santulli (25:27): "I had to run to the washroom real quickly and wipe my tears."

5. Overcoming Breakup Challenges and Therapy (32:35 - 39:16)

The hosts discuss the aftermath of breakups, emphasizing the importance of self-love and personal growth. They share how therapy played a crucial role in their healing processes and advocate for focusing on personal progress rather than dwelling on past relationships.

Notable Quotes:

• Sarah Lauren (24:15): "I went to therapy. It helped a lot."
• Izzy Santulli (38:00): "Especially when I can't bring a plus one where I don't know any friends that are going."

6. Social Anxiety and Brand Events (39:17 - 43:25)

Izzy and Sarah express their apprehensions about attending brand events, citing experiences where their authentic selves felt out of place. They discuss the superficial nature of such events and the anxiety that comes with being recognized by online personas.

Notable Quotes:

• Izzy Santulli (38:43): "I'm so authentic, genuine... I'm just so crazy and loud and everyone's so not."
• Sarah Lauren (42:15): "It's scary to make friends... because you don't know people's intentions."

7. Audience Q&A: Navigating Modern Dating Challenges (43:26 - 54:54)

In an interactive segment, Sarah and Izzy tackle audience-submitted questions ranging from cosmetic surgery dilemmas to the complexities of maintaining friendships with ex-partners. They offer candid advice on self-improvement, setting boundaries, and the importance of prioritizing personal well-being over toxic relationships.

Notable Quotes:

• Sarah Lauren (49:03): "You cannot be friends with an ex."
• Izzy Santulli (50:11): "Work on you. Because if you're also still in that friendship, you think very poorly of yourself."

8. Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts (54:55 - 62:48)

The episode wraps up with light-hearted banter and reflections on the discussions. Sarah thanks Izzy for her insights and encourages listeners to connect with Izzy on Instagram and her podcast. They reiterate the importance of authenticity, self-love, and personal growth.

Notable Quote:

• Sarah Lauren (62:20): "Glow up. Always glow up."

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Key Takeaways:

1. Authenticity is Crucial: Both hosts stress the importance of being genuine online and in real life, rejecting the facade often presented by influencers.
2. Self-Love and Personal Growth: Emphasizing healing post-breakup, the importance of therapy, and prioritizing one's own development over toxic relationships.
3. Navigating Social Settings: Discussing the challenges of brand events and the anxiety of maintaining online personas in real-world interactions.
4. Building a Personal Brand: Sharing journeys from various career paths to content creation, highlighting the significance of embracing one's true self in building a successful brand.
5. Advice on Modern Dating: Offering practical advice on handling cosmetic surgery regrets, ending friendships with exes, and overcoming self-consciousness.

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Connect with Izzy Santulli:

• Instagram: @izzysantuli
• Podcast: Not So Silent (available on all major podcast platforms)

Subscribe and Review:
If you enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review wherever you listen to podcasts!

Transcript

[A]

It's not the end and I'm ready to fudgeing. Just flourish now.

[B]

This summer has no fucking clue what's coming their way. Men will fear us.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I do not understand how you stay with your high school sweetheart and don't experience life.

[A]

I think it's impossible to, like, learn who you are individually when you are with someone for that long.

[B]

I walked into a bar Sunday night and I saw the hottest man I've ever seen in my entire life. Pulled him into a photo booth and started making it with him. That is female fear in that man's eyes that I saw.

[A]

What, like, makes you go viral? I feel like you have to also, like, say things that are controversial and you also have to get people mad.

[B]

The I talk about, I'm like, so last weekend I had a guy over. Did we? I don't know. Hello, beautiful people and welcome back to Tall Blonde. Hello, beautiful people and welcome back to Tall Blonde. We have someone you've probably seen before on TikTok with over. Not even. I was gonna say almost over 500,000 followers. This is Izzy Santuli. Did I say it right? Yes. Okay. Who is a beauty and lifestyle content creator and a podcast host of not so Silent.

[A]

Wait, I love this intro.

[B]

Did you like it? It's so cute. I wrote this myself.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

I'm not great at words, but I did it.

[A]

No, I loved it. That was really good.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Hi, guys.

[B]

Do you do an intro for your guests?

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay. So she also recently started a podcast.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

We have a lot in common right now and we're both living the Toronto girl life.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

We've both been in relationships. We both share way too much online.

[A]

Yes, yes, over sharing is an issue.

[B]

But what I need to know is why not so silent?

[A]

Like the, like, why.

[B]

Why the name? Why did you come up with that?

[A]

I went viral. I'm gonna put my like up. Like, do whatever for silent reviews. Like beauty silent reviews. So I honestly didn't come up with a title.

[B]

Let's do what you do.

[A]

Yes. Well, I've honestly stopped doing it for a bit cuz I'm like, are people still, like, eating it up? Like, do people still want to see this? And I posted one recently and I'm like, oh, people are still eating it up. So I'm like, okay. Like, I'll continue to do it. But I went viral for that and I'm like, okay. Like a podcast is so different than that. I'm going to be talking. I'm going to be oversharing. I'm going to be saying so much shit. And I was going through titles. I was like, oh, like tea time. No, it's basic. Like, I feel like everyone does that. And then my manager's like, wait, what about not so silent Shout Out Shawna? And I was like, hold on, because that is it.

[B]

And that's what you started with. That's what you like. It made so much sense.

[A]

Yeah. I was like, this is perfect. Such so on brand for me. And I'm like, I feel like my OGs will also understand because I'll be like, oh my God, this is like amazing.

[B]

And this is. I mean, I think I've seen you at one event before.

[A]

Really?

[B]

I think. Were you at one of the. Oh, shoot, what's that? Pilates? Soless? No, no, no. I swear you were there.

[A]

Probably another.

[B]

But I swear I've seen you. Maybe it was in Soless. But I swear I've seen you at one.

[A]

Maybe. Honestly, I look, I was stalking you and you looked familiar. So. So, like, maybe we have.

[B]

We're not just the bitches that we see online. Everyone's like, oh, so I've seen you on TikTok. We're like, no, I swear I've seen you personally.

[A]

I swear I've seen you.

[B]

I've seen each other so much online that we probably think we've seen each other.

[A]

Yes, that's true.

[B]

But even like your merch, the shh kind of face is so cute. It's so fitting. But I do feel like even though I don't know you because you're so authentic and it's hard to come by because I'm not gonna lie.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A lot of people, how they are online are not how they are personal.

[A]

No.

[B]

It pisses me off.

[A]

I could talk about that for hours. I'm not. Because this is gonna be so long.

[B]

And I'm trying, like, I. I can't be fake. I'm a one hit wonder. I'm whatever. And I'm like. When I see someone being like, I haven't gotten anything done to my face and then they're doing like a video about these, I'm like, shut the.

[A]

I actually can't stand that.

[B]

It's crazy.

[A]

I can't.

[B]

Is that like your biggest pet peeve or you have like a, like something else to a bone to pick with?

[A]

No, I would say that's like my number one pet peeve. Like when I meet someone, I'm like, I. I can also tell, like if you're being like genuine, like, I Have that weird, like. Yeah. I have that weird sense where I'm like, no, no, no. Like, you're being weird.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm like, I will never speak to you again. Fine. That's fine. But, yeah, I hate when people are, like, so different online. And then in person I meet them and they're, like, so different. That's why I always say. I've said this multiple times. I'm like, I never want people to be like, you are so different.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When I, like, met you in person.

[B]

Well, because won't they just unvole you and be like, fudge this fake?

[A]

Yeah, I never want. And I'm like, the whole point of having a platform, isn't it to be your fucking self? So I'm like, yeah, no, I. Fudgeing.

[B]

Hate the best compliment, I think ever. And you may or may not agree with this is, oh, my God. Like, you made a brand just being yourself.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And I'm like, that, to me, is bliss. Because not a lot of people can do that or they just don't feel comfortable to do that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So the fact that we are doing well, do you think I feel like. Do you sense a. Yeah. Not the same for me.

[A]

No. I feel like you're, like, on my vibe, too. We're the same. Like, I feel like also, like, when people go viral, they think they have to be someone that they're not.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I feel like they. They're like, okay, like, this is the influencers. Like, this is what they do. So I have to do what they're doing to get their success. So I'm like, no, no. Like, you can literally do. Be you. That's the best thing you can do.

[B]

And people are gonna relate to you more if you are yourself and you share your insecurities, you share your tough times, whatever it is. The amount of times that it's pained me to show or share a video that I don't think I looked good in or my. I had a pimple in or whatever it is, but I just did it. That people actually liked it more than I thought they would is crazy.

[A]

And you always think that no one's going to understand and no one's going to relate and because it's such a unique story of yours, but then you say it, and then everyone's like in the comments, oh, my God. Like, I'm going through the exact same thing.

[B]

Yeah. And I'm like, oh, wait, thank you for posting this and talking about this.

[A]

That's like, what matters. I feel like the most.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And we skipped over all of this. But tell me about how you even got into content. When did you start? Because you posted something very recently about your. Maybe it was a 9 to 5. You were at a desk.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And you were like, how did I know that my life was going to be so changed? Yeah. So I saw that, and I was like, wait, what the Were you doing before?

[A]

Yeah, so. Oh, my God. I feel like I lived seven different lives. I used to be a lash tech.

[B]

No way.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

No way.

[A]

I was one of those Toronto girls.

[B]

You were people's favorite lash tech because you were, like, speaking real people are telling you stories about how they're like, their friend's boyfriend, and you're like, shut the fuck up, bitch. I'm fucking up your lashes right now.

[A]

But I was a lash tech. I worked. I didn't work a 9 to 5. I worked at an office, though. I had an office job, but I never worked there full time. It was always part time. And I did, like, always something on the side, whether it was like, lashes. I also did affiliate marketing for a while, and I feel like affiliate marketing led me to the love of social media and, like, what I do now.

[B]

Why?

[A]

I feel like, because affiliate marketing is, like, posting on social media, like, kind of being like. And you're influencing people to, you know, do whatever it is. So I feel like that was like, wait. I kind of love this. Not promoting a platform, but promoting myself as a brand. I'm like, I love it. I love also going on my stories and just talking, like, randomly. Like, I love connecting with people that way. What else was I doing? I was doing school for a bit.

[B]

Well, where'd you go?

[A]

I went to York University for dance.

[B]

Shut the up. This girl can dance.

[A]

I. I grew up dancing. Like, I danced competitive.

[B]

Okay. We're doing another podcast and we're doing. We're gonna make drinks with Devin. It was in the building, and we're gonna see a dance off as to who is the best dancer here.

[A]

Perfect.

[B]

I'm gonna practice my salsa.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Cha ja slides. And you guys can pick a different genre.

[A]

Perfect.

[B]

But I chose that.

[A]

Yeah, I'll do ballet.

[B]

Perfect. Oh, is that what you said?

[A]

Well, I studied, like, a bunch. Like, I studied dance as, like, a whole.

[B]

Ballet just makes my toes curl.

[A]

It's. I did ballet. I did acro, I did hip hop. I did jazz. I did lyrical. Like, I did everything. Like, I grew up doing that and. But my thing was, like, an athlete, I guess.

[B]

Really.

[A]

I guess I am. But I grew up Doing everything. So I was like, I honestly want. It's not my passion, though. It's never my passion. I'm like, I want to go to school to be a teacher. Actually, I wanted to be a teacher.

[B]

No way.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was like, was your aspiration like a high school teacher, a gym teacher, a dance teacher?

[A]

My aspiration was just to get a job. Like, I did not give a fuck.

[B]

I just want to make fucking money.

[A]

Yeah. I was just like, I don't even, like, know what else I would do because nothing drew me in. Like, I'm like, I hate, like, every fucking subject in the world. I'm like, I feel like a teacher is the easiest thing to do. So I majored in dance just because I was like, it's an easy degree. I can graduate and then I can go into teaching, whatever it is. I dropped out of my third year because I was like, I can't stand this third year. You were so close. Yes.

[B]

Did your parents fucking kill you?

[A]

Okay. So crazy. I didn't tell my parents that I dropped out for, like, maybe a year and a half. I was telling them that I was doing it online because it was.

[B]

Fuck. Did you hide? Okay.

[A]

It was during COVID So they. They were like, okay, like, that's fine. And then I remember my dad asked.

[B]

Me for, were you living at home or living.

[A]

Living at home. Oh, I still live at home.

[B]

So you have to pretend you were Zoom calls.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. So I was just. It was actually insane. But I eventually told them, and they're like, they were just mad at me because I lied about it. They're like, you know what? We don't care.

[B]

Did you feel like you couldn't tell us the truth?

[A]

Yes. They're very, like, by the book parents. My dad's old school Italian. Like, that's how they were grown up. You know what I mean? So, like, I don't blame them for. I don't blame any of the parents that grew up in that generation, but I'm like, guys, just trust me. Like, give me a few years. Trust me. And then now they don't say, yeah.

[B]

They're like, okay, we get it now.

[A]

Like, we get it.

[B]

And it's crazy because I do relate to you on that in a sense of, like, I did fashion as my undergrad, so obviously different than dance, but, like, in a still creative atmosphere, which didn't all the time come out as that much money unless you're really good in it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So my parents kind of gave me, like, a weird look when I was going into that. And then when I started social media and taking pictures of everything, my parents were like, what the fuck are you doing? And then it's like, now. No, it's a whole it's fucked career path that has more money than a lot of different other places or avenues. So it's crazy in a sense of look at me now or just give me a minute was exactly my mentality too, for so long, like, years.

[A]

I feel like we know inside that we're like, I'm just not a school person. Like, I was going to classes and I was like, what am I learning? Like, what is this?

[B]

You're entertaining. And that's what it is. It's like you have a way in which that, like, has people told you?

[A]

Oops.

[B]

Has people. Have people told you. I'm clearly all over it. Have people told you that you could be like me? I work on it every day.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Have people told you that you could have like a reality TV show?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. People tell you that too?

[B]

Yeah. I'm like, I'm waiting.

[A]

I'm like, should we start one together?

[B]

I'm like, so are you gonna ask me?

[A]

Wait, that's so fun.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But, yeah, I feel like I can't. I can't sit in a lecture hall and. And what am I learning?

[B]

No.

[A]

Doing what? I also can't sit in one spot.

[B]

Would you do a TV show? Yeah, what TV show would you do?

[A]

Okay. I was thinking of applying for Love island.

[B]

So I did. Well, they asked me. They reached out.

[A]

Stop.

[B]

I would have with Leah. So hard.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

I would have probably left with Leah. Yeah, I would have won with Leah. Like, I don't even know.

[A]

Crazy.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. When did you start? Tick tock.

[A]

Okay, sorry.

[B]

I'm just like going back because these are the questions I have. And like, some people, I also go off, like, topic.

[A]

Like, I don't even remember the last question you asked me. I feel like I talked about something totally different.

[B]

Same.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I started TikTok because you're at 500,000.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So was it like a quick jump, fast jump, quick jump, fast jump, slow jump?

[A]

I would say it was definitely a quick jump. Like, I started the silent reviews and it was kind of just like an insane amount of followers per day and to the point where I actually got banned. Like, I think TikTok thought like, it was like, bots. Cause it was going up so quickly. I got banned and I was so upset.

[B]

Was it banned or was it not? It's not called Ghost Shadow.

[A]

Banned? No, no, I was like, banned. Like, my account was not there.

[B]

How did you get it back?

[A]

I literally, like, I report, I think every single day. I reported a. What's it called? But no, I reported, like, not a referral, bro. What's the referral?

[B]

This is not right, like, that.

[A]

I like, basically emailed them every day saying, hi, hello. Like, they banned me for being underage, even. I'm like, what are you talking about? No, no. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You fucking killed it.

[A]

It was. It was insane.

[B]

No, and, like, I so jumped.

[A]

For sure.

[B]

I followed you on TikTok for a bit before for the silent reviews, like, on my main page.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then so, like, I saw when you posted your podcast.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I was listening. Like, I've. I say, like, I've watched like, seven. No, like, I think I've watched them all except for one. Because I looked at it yesterday to creep you again, just to get like, you know when, like, you do, like, your little quick before you have a gu on.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So, like, refresh my memory, but I think there was one with a girl, a mom style, hard. Something like that. Yeah. That I haven't watched yet. But you grew so fast since you.

[A]

Posted it on there, too. Yeah.

[B]

Amazing.

[A]

Insane. Like, that's crazy.

[B]

That's what I dreamed. And I, like, I've been a lot slower. But you, like. And then I, like, creeped your thing and you know how you kind of analyze. I'm like, no. Like, she's doing exactly what she needs to do. Like, you are speaking the same way, the same style, everything as you are. And you're clearly just that type of person. But, like, it's perfect. Segue into it so you've really killed it. Is there any tips and tricks if anyone was, like, wanting to start a podcast. Yeah. Or like, wanting to start anything and, like, have a brand for themselves and have a name that they can carry on, whether it's merch, whether it's podcast, whether it's.

[A]

You know, I feel like people ask me this. Like, people. My audience asks me this all the time. Like, how did you do this? Like, how did you build a brand for yourself? How did you start social media? And I'm like, just start.

[B]

Period. Just start.

[A]

But, like, my thing is it's not that complicated.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's not that. Like, just start and be yourself. Like, stop trying to be like, oh, like, okay, she's doing this. Like, I was talking about in the beginning. Stop trying to act like every person you see and be yourself, but also.

[B]

Be A little bit more dramatic. Like be a bit more like, bring the energy.

[A]

I feel like you kind of have to like people. People ask me sometimes in my videos, they're like, why are you screaming? I'm like, I gotta scream a little.

[B]

Literally. Are you that mean? I'm like, kinda shut the up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Like you kind of have to.

[B]

Yeah. You hate men. I'm like, I do. But I do even more when I'm speaking to you guys.

[A]

Ye. Yeah. And I remember my recent episode I made was about me talking about men. Like what I look for in a man. And like my relationship. And the clips went viral, which great. But it was all old mad men in my comments.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Saying like, oh, you're not any better. I'm like, I know any press is good press.

[B]

Any press. Like I blew up when I was living in New York, which was not a year ago, half a year ago now.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And I was just talking about dating because like I was dating in New York and I didn't live with anyone. I didn't have any friends because I just moved there. And that's when I blew up. And like my manager at the time, who is my manager now, but she was like, any press is good press. Like some people were on me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I was on it. And it's like, that's more views, that's more whatever. So just like what you're saying is, yes, some will come with negative comments, but at the same time, if they're not butt hurt, offended by what you're saying because they don't have it the way that you do, they're probably going to give some hate.

[A]

And I feel like back to like what you asked. Like what, like makes you go viral or like how, how can you, how.

[B]

Do you get started?

[A]

I feel like you have to also, like say things that are controversial. Like everything that I've said that's controversial has blown up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm like, period.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's what you have to do.

[B]

That's what you think.

[A]

And you also have to get people mad. I'm sorry. Like, you have to get people mad.

[B]

Say how you feel.

[A]

Say, say, yeah, say what you feel without being disrespectful. Yeah, obviously. But like say how you feel. And that's what I'm saying. Be yourself. And like, that's how you are. Like you hate men. I hate men too. So this is our brand.

[B]

Sorry, there's a man here.

[A]

There's a man.

[B]

We don't, we don't hate boys. We Hate men.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

There's no men here. There's only boys. Do you hate women, would you say? Or is.

[A]

No.

[B]

You're a feminist. Perfect.

[A]

Oh, that's so good.

[B]

So now that we're kind of talking about men or boys, like, that's so good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You see that obviously a lot of my content is dating.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And it could be because I was just obsessed with men for my entire life.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But it stuck. It just stuck. Would you be okay with digging into your five year relationship? Because we do have some questions from people asking about dating. Questions. But I have a few questions just in a sense of. We've both been in relationships, we've both gotten over breakups, been through breakups, tough times, all this. What is like, even if you don't want to explain the story time of it, can you give us a spark note as to like, maybe this is when you knew it was done. This is where you knew that you had to get over it. This is how you got over it. Or whatever kind of comes to mind when you're thinking of it.

[A]

Okay, so where do I even start? It feels like so long ago, but it wasn't how it was. Like, was that, I think almost two years now.

[B]

Well, that's pretty long.

[A]

That is pretty long.

[B]

But the shit I talk about, I'm like, so last weekend I had a guy over. Did we fuck? I don't know.

[A]

But yeah, I guess two years is a fucking long time.

[B]

Two years is a long time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm a different person. But true.

[A]

But honestly, like, we're high school sweethearts. We met in high school.

[B]

No way.

[A]

And I was 15, he was 16. So we were very young. Very, very, very young. We were kids. I had no boyfriend before him. Like, he was my first. Everything.

[B]

Okay. So everything.

[A]

Everything. Yeah. So I feel like, how do I say this while being.

[B]

Okay, you want to say it?

[A]

It was really good. It was a good relationship.

[B]

Well, you stayed for seven years.

[A]

Right. It was, it was a good relationship. I feel like until it wasn't. Like it started when the bad times overweighed the good times. And I'm like, we were both just kind of like, what is happening here? There was a lot of arguments, lots of arguments from me. Like I would start some, he would start some. Like it was.

[B]

I would have energy.

[A]

Yeah. I wouldn't say it was like one sided at all. Like there wasn't one person in the wrong. I feel like we were both just kind of fed up with each other. We had resentment, we would go on breaks all the time.

[B]

Which you were also so young. So, like.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You're learn. You're learning who you both are individually.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think also to, like, respond to that. I think it's impossible almost to, like, learn who you are individually when you are with someone for that long period. Like, it's. I don't. I don't think it's possible.

[B]

I don't understand, like, seriously. And this. People could disagree. I do not understand how you stay with your high school sweetheart and don't experience life. Like, I've never been so comfortable in myself since I've been single for two years. Like, that's when I realized who I was. It wasn't when I was with people because I was seeking for their love, their attention, and trying to please them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is that what you kind of men.

[A]

I feel like 100%. Like, you can't. Even though you think you might be, like, focusing on yourself, like, you're not because you're in this, like, entanglement, you're in this relationship you don't even know.

[B]

And as a woman, you think more about the man. Like, how would he feel? Yeah. When they're not fucking doing that.

[A]

Yeah. And I just feel like we would go on breaks, whatever. Like, to kind of make the long story short, went on a few breaks. I feel like when relationships start going on breaks, it's like, why? Like, there's no point. I don't believe in breaks.

[B]

No breaks are stupid. I've done it. But, like, I learned from it.

[A]

Exactly. I'm like, we. We did the breaks. And then honestly, like, we kind of both were, like, single for a while before the initial or before the actual breakup. So, like, so messy it was. But I feel like, yeah, a lot of was going down. We were fighting a lot. And then just like one day, like, he kind of texted me and he was like, oh, by the way. No, I think I texted him and I was like, hey. Oh, no. He was being very, like, distant for.

[B]

Like, I hate that. And like, anxiety.

[A]

But weird distance. Like, we were technically not together. We were on our break.

[B]

Of course. Yeah.

[A]

But he was being very distant to the point where, like, he'd be like, hi. Oh, like, one word responses. He's never done that to me, like, ever. So I was just like, this is weird, weird vibes.

[B]

You're uncomfortable, I'm uncomfortable.

[A]

And when I was getting that energy, I feel like I'm very attack, like, anxious attachment. So when someone's giving me that energy, I'm chasing you. So I Was chasing him, and I was like, oh. Like, what are you doing now? Like, can I come here with you? Like, blah, blah. Like, can I come drop this off at your house? I just kept.

[B]

You're trying to make up for it, right?

[A]

And there got to a point where he was like, no, because we're done. And I'm like, what do you mean, we're done? And he's like, we're not together anymore. And I'm like, wait, what the.

[B]

That would have me up.

[A]

It was very crazy. Like, I was sitting. I remember I was sitting in my bed and I was just, like, looking at my phone, and I was like, I was reading the messages and I was in that moment, I was in flight or fight mode. Like, I was fighting for the relationship. And I was like, don't leave. Like, I love you. This isn't that. Because what else am I supposed to do? Fighting at that.

[B]

That was the end.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he was just like, no, I'm still here if you ever need anything. Deuces, basically.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was just like, wait a minute, is this real? I started, like, spiraling also.

[B]

How are you doing that? If I felt so much for you, how are you walking away? Like, it doesn't make any sense. Like, as a woman with so much emotion, every time a man has ever walked away from a situation, even if I ended it, but, like, wanted them to fight for me, I'm like, how are you leaving when we had so much between us? Like, it made no sense to me.

[A]

That was the part that, like, destroyed you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Fucking me up. Can I swear on here, you can.

[B]

Fucking do whatever the fuck you want.

[A]

But that's the part that really fucked me up because I'm like, we were. Again, we both went our own ways. Like, we were single for a while. During the break, we did things with other people. Okay. But I was just like, we also have been together for so long. How can you just. Yeah, that was my mindset.

[B]

How can you write that off again?

[A]

Maybe that was a wrong mindset to have at the time, but I was just like, how are you just also leaving without an explanation and even a phone call or, like, even an in person type of breakup. So that really blew my mind a little bit. And I was like, holy. Like, I need to go to therapy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, this is actually up. And I remember. Yeah, I went to therapy. It helped a lot. Love therapy.

[B]

Same.

[A]

But I remember I wrote him. Oh, my God, I wrote him. Okay. So a little bit of a backstory. We used to work at the same place. So my office job. He worked there as well.

[B]

Oh. Oh, my God. This is messy.

[A]

Want to know something else? That's so crazy. His mom was my manager.

[B]

Dude. So you were the managers then?

[A]

The way I, you know, the way I got that job was from him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, so.

[B]

No, no. Take everything you could get.

[A]

Oh, I love that. Honestly, I love that job. It was so easy. I worked at a real estate brokerage. It was easy. Appointments.

[B]

Put that on your.

[A]

Yeah. Like, it was great. I worked there for five years. But then after the breakup, I was like, how am I supposed to walk into this building, say hello to his mother, that is now not, you know, a friend or whatever. It's now just a manager.

[B]

Like, that's anxiety provoking, right? Itching. It was bad. It would make me want to fall out of my skin.

[A]

It was. And like, it was just like. So I remember even you're also heartbroken. Yeah. So honestly, if I can say that, is that. Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes. I was going into work, whenever it was quiet in that building, I would just cry. I would just cry my entire shift. I would, like, run to. If someone was walking into the building. I would, like, run to the washroom real quickly and, like, wipe my tears and, like, make sure I looked like.

[B]

Okay, try to come back.

[A]

And not high. Like, I didn't want people to think I was high because my eyes were so red from crying.

[B]

So you're like, I'm not high.

[A]

I'm not high. I'm just heartbroken. But, yeah, it was crazy. I had to. The only reason I quit that job is because I couldn't walk into that building.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Anymore.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I couldn't. And I didn't have a backup. I didn't have nothing. And then that's when. Tick tock. Just went insane for me.

[B]

See, some people don't believe that everything happens for a reason.

[A]

Crazy timing.

[B]

But everything happens for a reason.

[A]

Insane timing. Yeah, I agree.

[B]

He doesn't believe in fate.

[A]

Let me tell you a story that will change your mind.

[B]

Here goes.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Speak.

[A]

I was. Okay. So I had. When I was doing affiliate marketing, I had this desk that he built for me. It was.

[B]

Can you explain what exactly affiliate marketing is? Because I feel like I'm like, thinking all.

[A]

So it's basically your marketing for a company or a platform.

[B]

Like, are you doing ugc User generated content?

[A]

So the affiliate marketing I was doing was for an online platform. It was like, for like, trading, crypto and like, that stuff.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Yeah. So there's different Types like, I think there's a hair brand that does affiliate marketing as well. I don't remember what the name is.

[B]

Don't you dare say the one that I'm thinking of. Because they scammed me. I was scammed by a hair care company.

[A]

Okay, we'll talk it.

[B]

But for, like, seven years, I was paying monthly to them, and I was just like, what the. Because I was on their thing, and then they made me. Like, yeah.

[A]

Oh, no, we're.

[B]

That's a story.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Tell me after. But, yes, but, yeah. So anyways, I was doing that. I had this really huge, obnoxious desk that he built for me, and it was so big, like, I couldn't even walk.

[B]

I love when a man builds it.

[A]

Yeah, he. Honestly, he was great. Like, he. He used to build things. Like, he was. He was.

[B]

Or makes you a dirty martini.

[A]

But yeah. And I was just like, honestly, after we broke up, I'm like, I need to get rid of everything in my room that reminds me of him. I'm like, I need to get rid of this that I can't even maneuver. I had to, like, squish myself to go around it.

[B]

It was honestly that. You might not say it. I'll say it. You. For building too big of a desk. Okay. Like, if we have to shimmy around it, that's your bad. You should know the measurements. You know what I mean? Like, nothing. You. You were.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You had to get rid of it.

[A]

It was. I was like, I can't do this anymore.

[B]

You're forced.

[A]

So much room. Yeah, I was like, get rid of it. Change. Like, I changed, like, my entire room around, too. And that's when I was like, wow, I have room for a vanity.

[B]

Oh, perfect.

[A]

And then I got that vanity, and then I started.

[B]

Who needs a desk?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, I like. And I also had so much makeup and skincare from brands. I had so much makeup and skincare. No, this is before I started even getting pr.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Just in general.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So you're a makeup girl.

[A]

I was a makeup. Yeah. And skincare. I had a lot of it. All of my paychecks went to Sephora. I would buy so much makeup, skin care. And then I was like, let me get a vanity. I put all my stuff in it. I started making videos at that vanity. I started doing silent reviews there. And then that's when I blew up. And I was just like, okay, this is crazy to think about, but if I didn't break up with him, there was no reason to get rid of the Desk, then there's no reason to get the vanity. And then I wouldn't have made videos at the vanity.

[B]

And then look right at and scene. This is the end of the podcast. Enough has been said. If you don't take. I'm kidding.

[A]

I tell that story to everyone.

[B]

But if you don't believe in fate after that, do you switch your mind? No.

[A]

I think you took advantage of something.

[B]

Bullshit.

[A]

I don't.

[B]

I fucking think everything happens for a damn reason. And I mean, like, I. I didn't hate New York, but I Like, it was a love hate relationship and if I didn't leave, I wouldn't be where I am today.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I think that that is also.

[A]

That situation happened to someone else that.

[B]

Wasn'T motivated with what you're saying in a sense of like, fate isn't it is what you make it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I guess we're two different people using a situation that's shitty and putting it. Making it into a good situation. But like, like, if we don't do that, what's gonna happen? We're gonna mope around and not make any money and be miserable for the rest of our lives. Like, you kinda gotta pick.

[A]

You gotta do something.

[B]

Yeah. So we did good. We all did good. And it's a way of life. But it's also like, holy shit, that's a big thing that you have to pick yourself up from. Shake yourself off. Turn your. Like, people are pro still being like, oh, like, are you okay? How are you doing? You're like, I don't even wanna hear that right now. I'm trying to change my life. Which is like, crazy because not even the desk, like, I'm sure so many other things reminded you of it too. And seven years, regardless if it's a full seven years or if it's seven years on and off every five weeks, it's still a long time being with someone and spending your life and having them like family to you.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Why are we both like, knock?

[A]

I'm like, is it close enough? Can people hear me? I'm like, screaming. I'm like, I think people can hear.

[B]

Like, we are the loudest people who are out here. But no, I agree. And I think you're killing it. And I'm proud of you. I don't know you that well, but I'm proud of you.

[A]

Yes. We're both killing it.

[B]

We, like, we need to leverage each other, guys.

[A]

Yes. Yes.

[B]

But I'm happy that you explained that because I think a lot of people also, regardless if it Was that long, short or whatever. People go through that. And your first relationship and your first heartbreak, I think is so hard. I'm only one year older than you, but I've been through two long distance. Not long distance, but long relationships. 1 5, 1 4. And the second one was easier because in the sense of, you know that it's not all over for you, you understand that you can go through that really low in your life and you can still live without them in the future. So I think that it's all a learning lesson. But also, like, you might have kids some days and that might say, oh, my gosh, he broke my heart. And you're gonna say, he's not gonna be the last one that's gonna break your heart, baby. Like, keep going.

[A]

Honestly, like, the first. Like, when it happened to me, I was like, this is the end. Like, I'm about to die.

[B]

There was nothing else.

[A]

I thought I was going to die.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, genuinely, like, now I'm sitting here, I'm like, like, saying, that is so ridiculous.

[B]

No, Like, I. We were. I was 19 years old and I was like, so when we get married, like, when we have children, like, I didn't think that there was anything else. I was gonna. I was gonna go to Guelph University for a man.

[A]

Yeah. No. See.

[B]

Who didn't even make it to the NHL. Sorry.

[A]

No, no, no, no.

[B]

That wouldn't have worked.

[A]

Yeah. No.

[B]

So everything happens first.

[A]

No, I agree. 100. I. I'm glad that. I'm glad that it happened because, like, again, it's made us who we are today.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You know, like, if it didn't happen again, I wouldn't have. I probably wouldn't be sitting here and.

[B]

You don't have to be everyone's cup of tea.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You are your own person. If people break up with you, end with you, leave you, don't want to be with you. Whatever it is, you should not be everyone's cup of tea. You should be your original person. And if someone doesn't vibe with you, that's a good thing because that means that you're not just the girl next door.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And, like, so nonchalant can just do whatever for you. Like, you are your own person.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Dating icks and things that now you've been dating for a little bit. It's been two years.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Can I ask you what you do and don't. Like, like, what are some of the icks that you're like, you know what?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So not.

[A]

I honestly am scared to date. Like, I, Okay, I've went on, like, scared.

[B]

Yeah. Why?

[A]

Because I don't know, I feel like I don't know how to talk to men.

[B]

See, it's not you have to talk to them. It's like your friends, like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think honestly, you are so vocal, open. Whatever. What's the worst that's going to happen? You have a story for the fucking podcast. I know you have a story for your friend. You have a story for your tick tocks. Like, nothing bad.

[A]

I need to, I need to just get out and do it a little bit and then I'll be, I'll be like, what the was I scared of? Because that's how everything works. But I've dated a bit. I had a situationship that ended recently, which is again, now that that ended. I was like, first of all, why is that low key harder than my relationship. And then, and then I was like, but I was prepared. Like, now I'm like, it's not like you were saying, it's not the end. And I'm ready to just flourish now.

[B]

You've been through hardships.

[A]

Just watch me.

[B]

Yeah. Like, actually, no, this summer has no clue what's coming.

[A]

Like, no idea. No, I.

[B]

Men will fear us.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Yep. I walked into a bar on Sunday night.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I pulled, I walked straight in. I saw the hottest man I've ever seen in my entire life, pulled him into a photo booth and started making out with him. That is fear in that man's eyes that I saw. But it worked out great.

[A]

I mean, I don't have that confidence yet.

[B]

A few more of those and you'll have to go. I know.

[A]

Should we go to the club after this?

[B]

No, we should. Well, there's a Leafs game tonight.

[A]

Oh, my God. Are you going?

[B]

Well, we should all go. Well, like, I have to drive home at 6am to fucking London, Ontario.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

As long as someone wakes me up, call me a few times.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, God. And then I'll be asleep as well.

[B]

No, literally, like I told my roommate, I was like, if you want me to come out. Yeah, you better wake me up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So that's it. I haven't even looked at these cards.

[A]

Really? I, I, you haven't?

[B]

I planned three for you and I haven't even looked, but okay. I said some spilling tea of the content creators. So these are some things that I've just thought of because, like, I feel like we're living a similar life in the whole content world. Brand events and brand trips. So I don't even like, brand events. Like, I love brand events because I love the brands, but the way people at them are really irks me.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Am I allowed to say irks still? Or is that, like, so 20 pisses me off.

[A]

Yeah, I agree. I haven't been well, no, not that I haven't been, but I. When I first started getting invited to events, I was like, oh, my God. Events, events, events. It's a big deal. Yeah, I went to all of them. I started learning a little bit about how this industry works and how people are fake and, like, how people are just weird. Like, I feel like I go to events sometimes and I'm like, why am I here? Because I'm just so different. And I don't want to say that in, like, a weird ego, confident, but, like, I'm just. Like, I'm so crazy and loud and everyone's so not.

[B]

And you're so authentic, genuine that, like, people are coming there dressed to the nine sometimes. I'm wearing their prom dress.

[A]

Yeah. Insane, dude. Yeah.

[B]

Like, is this the best night of your life? Because, like, if it is, we need to rethink what we're doing on the other days.

[A]

Yeah, I was like, I went to a restaurant opening and I honestly thought.

[B]

Events and things and, like, find each other because once you find people that you actually with, like. Because I started and, like, blew up in New York. I met these. A few friends that I liked in New York that were, like, so genuine, so nice, so raw, so down to earth that I genuinely would text them and be like, hey, like, are you going to this event? And I was so excited when they were going, or we'd get ready together, we'd go for dinner after, you know, and we'd have these things. But I don't have that in Toronto because I haven't had many good experiences. And I don't know if it's just because I haven't found that yet. And I'm a bit newer to this, but, like, I'm going there. And I'm like, you've commented on, like, so many of my things. You follow me and you're acting like I don't exist. Like, I'm coming. I'm being like, hi. And they're like, turn. Turning around. I'm like, what?

[A]

Yeah, I've heard also, like, well, I've been in scenarios where, like, people run away from someone, and I'm like, bro, what is happening right now?

[B]

Like, can we. Not just all of a good time and no offense, but, like, that's what's Making it bad. Like, yeah. The. The brands are putting on these free booze, great setup for their merchandise. Every event that we're going to. Yeah.

[A]

Food, food.

[B]

Love the food. It's always like these hors d' oeuvres, fancy as or restaurant openings that it's a full like 40 ounce steak in the middle.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But also, like, they're doing everything right. Can we not get it right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, take it upon ourselves to just have fun.

[A]

Agreed.

[B]

And like, meet people and. But it's. Yeah. It's so hard because people just aren't the same.

[A]

No.

[B]

So spark notes of brand events. It's not what you see online.

[A]

It's not what you see online. It's. And that's why I'm very picky and choosy with which brand, like, which events I go to now. Because I'm like, like, also I kind of have anxiety going.

[B]

So much anxiety alone.

[A]

Especially when I can't bring a plus one where I don't know any friends that are going. I have anxiety because of the experiences I've had at prior events. Like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

People just being standoffish and people just like looking at you, knowing you, recognizing you. Like we know each other again, like you were saying. And then turn the other way. I'm like, I feel awkward and I don't want to put myself in that environment. So why would I go?

[B]

Especially at something that you're getting. There's pictures around, there's this, there's that. There's people like, you know, thinking that you're someone. So, like, it's. You're under so much pressure initially.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

To have even more of an uncomfortable feeling on top of that pressure is just not needed.

[A]

It's not worth it.

[B]

Like, not needed. So you don't go to many events anymore.

[A]

I don't go to many events anymore. I was the yes girl for a very long time.

[B]

Me too. I'm in that phase.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I moved here, so I'm like trying.

[A]

Yeah. You're gonna get out of there real soon.

[B]

Yeah, I'm out of it.

[A]

You're out of it already.

[B]

Let's do our own event, bro.

[A]

Let's do it right.

[B]

No, like a literal, like. Okay. So we're hosting a live event.

[A]

That's so fun. I feel like that's so fun.

[B]

Devin only cocktails.

[A]

Oh, my God. Behind the bar. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God. The girls would go crazy for Devin.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, they would literally. Did you used to be a bird hunter? Oh, my God. Imagine Devin behind the bar. This little cutie being like, Blue Eyed Bandit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Everyone would eat behind the thing. And then we're just. Just joking, talking.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

About Devin by the bar. Like, that could be a fun event. We should keep that in our pocket.

[A]

There's so many plans we're coming up with right now. We need to write them down.

[B]

No. We're friends. No. So y' all. All the ones that happens at. I do. Us at events. We're coming in strong, all three of us. You don't even know who's behind.

[A]

Yeah, I know. We're gonna just show up one day.

[B]

And then they'll be like. But I have some good ones that I think you'll like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like some influencers that, like, I vibed with that I think you'll really like.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like, really like.

[A]

Okay, Perfect.

[B]

So I think we need to have a chat after this. I don't want to name drop. I get it.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Have you ever, like, talked about someone online and given the name?

[A]

No. Oh, have you?

[B]

Unfortunately.

[A]

Wow. That's crazy.

[B]

But he cheated on me, so.

[A]

Oh, okay. Air that out.

[B]

Air that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. But I don't do it anymore.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, no, I feel like that's. I'm not gonna do that.

[B]

Have you ever been in situations? Obviously you just had a situationship, but in situations where people didn't want to, like, get close to you, friendships, boyfriends. Because you do social media and talk.

[A]

About so much of your life, I feel like. Not really. That I've, like, experienced. I feel like with my last situationship, he was very iffy about me sharing things. Certain things really. He.

[B]

What? Holds you back? Which holds you back.

[A]

Yes. And I was just like, listen, I was like, this is my life. This is what I do.

[B]

This is what I'm choosing.

[A]

This is what I'm choosing. And I'm like, people come to me because I'm real. I'm not switching that up. And I'm. Again, I'm not saying anything bad about you, babe. I would never shit on your name because, again, I. So much stuff has happened about my ex. Never once have I talked about his name. And I've not. I haven't ever been mean to him or disrespected him.

[B]

You could have posted a picture.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Shown it on a voice vlog. You're not doing that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you are very much respecting other people's peace that you don't have to.

[A]

Right. And I'm like, I would never. You know, me as a person. I'm not like that. If went down, I applaud you for that, you know? Thank you. But I feel like he was just still like. But, like, people are sending me this and asking me questions. I'm like, but you're the one that told these, your friends about what's happening between us. This is not me, baby. So I'm like, I have to do what I have to do. This is my job. I do this for people. I'm helping people.

[B]

And you're not sharing lies. You're telling what happened to you, and that's your business.

[A]

I'm not even saying anything bad.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Realistically. But, yeah, that was the only thing. Everyone else has been super, like, supportive. But also, can we talk about how it's, like, scary to make friends?

[B]

In what way?

[A]

Like, doing what we do. Like, you don't know people's intentions. Can we talk men?

[B]

Can we talk about jealousy?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Cause like, some people and I. I feel I don't know you that well, but I feel as though you're very much similar to me in a sense of like, I love that I'm getting noticed in things, going around and going out at night. I love that. But, like, that's not what makes me. I don't feel superior than anybody that I'm with that don't get noticed. You know what I mean? Like, I love it and I want to create this community and whatever. But also, like, I'm not pushing somebody down because I'm getting. No. So I'm not being like, yeah, yeah, this is my moment. This is. It's me.

[A]

No, like, no, no, no, no, no.

[B]

I'm not doing that. But like, some people feel as though.

[A]

They have that entitlement.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah, I agree with you.

[B]

Or they're like, jealous because you're getting noticed and not them.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Or you have more followers and whatever. And it's like, babe, like, I'm genuinely just being me and I'm. I'm working so hard. Just like, this is a clothing brand or this is a shoe brand or makeup brand, whatever it is, on myself and on this. So, like, let me thrive and be happy for me. But some people aren't like that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is that what you kind of were referring to when you said that?

[A]

And I feel like also I've had certain. Well, I'm thinking of one person when I say this.

[B]

Yeah. It's okay.

[A]

But I've had, like, a scenario where, like, people or this person, they're trying to one up me, so that kind of goes.

[B]

Or use what you're doing and, like, try to, like, use it and be you, but do it a different way. I'm like.

[A]

And I'm like. I'm like. And it's not even like they're doing, like, okay. It's not even like they're doing anything for it to be like, whoa. Like, you're literally doing nothing, and you're just being egotistical. And, like, you know, it's just, like, things like that where I'm like, why? Like, it's not even. I'm. It's not. We're not competing here. No, there's no competition.

[B]

The competition should be with yourself. Like, how do I be better tomorrow, the next week, the next month, the next year than I was before, rather than, how do I beat Izzy? Like, how do I do that? Like, it shouldn't be a competition between me and you. We should be just like we're doing right now on a podcast. You have a fucking podcast? I have a fucking podcast. We're doing this together because we're vibing. If we hated each other, we wouldn't do it. But, like, we're not using each other by any means. Like, that's. That should be it. And I'm not trying to take from you. It's just the fact of, like, I think you are so funny, so fun, so outgoing, that I'm like, I want to speak with you on my podcast. It's not that I'm like, oh, like, she has more followers than me on her podcast. That's. I aspire to be it. That's amazing. And I love what you're doing, but I'm not you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm not gonna copy what you're doing, because that's just not me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm gonna continue doing what I'm doing and hope that it gets to people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Here he is.

[B]

And that's what. So I go to therapy every Monday, period. Listen, I'm a fucking loose cannon. I have a lot wrong with me, but I go to therapy. So I'm working on it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But, like, that's what I talk about sometimes, is because recently I've had falling outs with one. I'm speaking about someone, too. But, like, people that. They almost use you for a brand event or a podcast or the context that you have now because people want you to come places, because you have a following, and it's like, that's so uncool because, like, I was friends with you because I thought that you believed in me, and you, like, whatever. Whereas when I tell you something, you're almost like, mad at me for doing well.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you're just using it to your benefit. And I'm like, fuck you. And it. It pains me. And I want to know why it.

[A]

Bothers us, because we could never. We don't understand that.

[B]

I could never in my life put myself into their shoes. Like, I just don't understand. Like, I'm trying to help people. Like, if someone's like, oh, like, I want to do this, I want to do that, I'll give them an idea as to what I think will go viral for them or what I think would help or work for them.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And it's like, I just don't understand how you could possibly say that you're my best friend and then talk about me to try to, like, lose followers and things. And I'm just like, that mind boggles me.

[A]

No, I could not. Like, just. Why? You know what? You are so unhappy with who you are that you have to put other people down. It's just simple.

[B]

It's jealousy. Jealous people say stupid things. Jealous people do stupid things. Jealous people try to take. And the only reason why they have hatred or hate or anything bad to say about somebody else might sometimes comes from you disrespected them, but a lot of times comes from you're doing something that they really want or they wish that they could achieve or that they wish they could have followed their dreams like you did, that they almost hate you for it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you haven't even done anything wrong. It's just in them that they can't let out.

[A]

They can't. They're too scared to actually do it.

[B]

They have something that's. They. They gave up, so.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they need to work on that themselves.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's around therapy.

[A]

That's. That was a really good conversation. That was a good. That was a good segment.

[B]

We hit that. Okay. We're already 52 minutes in, so I need to ask you some of the questions that people wrote in. It's like, we can't skip those.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I need to make sure I'm not.

[A]

Oh, goodness gracious.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm sweating really everywhere.

[B]

I'm gonna quickly ask you a few questions, and you're gonna give me your take on it, and I'll. We'll bounce back. I'm trying not to show this card because it's. It's the only one that's. I couldn't print, and I don't even know where I am.

[A]

I'm scared.

[B]

Okay, here we go. Okay, question one.

[A]

Oh, no. Why are you doing that face?

[B]

No, no, no. I had to slide in the other guy.

[A]

Okay, okay, okay.

[B]

Question one. I have a nose job. Do I get it redone and potentially make it worse? Someone wrote this in.

[A]

Can you look to the side?

[B]

No, I didn't. This isn't me, bitch.

[A]

Not me.

[B]

Fuck off. Wait for this. This isn't you, bitch. This is someone writing it in.

[A]

Oh, about me?

[B]

No, about them.

[A]

Oh, about them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I thought you were determined aside.

[B]

I'm like, you. My nose is about you. No, let's say Chantel.

[A]

Okay. So they want advice.

[B]

Chantel said, oh, okay. I hate my nose job. She hates me.

[A]

Okay, okay, okay.

[B]

Do I get it redone and potentially make it worse? Now? I do have a friend, though, that got a nose job done and she. It wasn't perfect, so she got it redone and it was great.

[A]

Yeah, I would say get it redone. I feel like.

[B]

Fuck it. If you're already halfway, if it already.

[A]

Sucks and you already hate it, what it's gonna.

[B]

And I don't know, try again and maybe this could be the best fucking thing of your life. If not, sue.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, I agree. You have to do it. What, are you gonna sit there unhappy.

[B]

Pictures, talk about it? Record everything?

[A]

Yeah. Research a good place. Research a good place.

[B]

I hate my nose job. So definitely don't go back.

[A]

No. No. Not the same place.

[B]

No.

[A]

Like hell no.

[B]

Hell no. Go to Turkey Dr. Whomever needs to not touch your nose or see it again.

[A]

Yeah. No.

[B]

Being friends with the ex who dumped me. And breadcrumbing. So this was just all they put.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Being friends with the ex. So with an ex.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Who dumped me. And breadcrumbs. So I looked up the finish of Brenco.

[A]

Yeah. What does that mean?

[B]

You're so welcome that I did that because I didn't know either. When you. So breadcrumbing is described as when you give an individual just enough. What does morsels mean?

[A]

Morsels.

[B]

When you give an individual just enough morsels of attention. Okay.

[A]

I'm just giving this. Of attention.

[B]

Breadcrumbing. When you give an individual just enough attention, I'm just gonna skip all of that attention to keep them interested or hooked into the relationship or situationship without any intentions of really being together.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You're giving them enough attention to make them think that you're down, but you're never gonna date them. That's what I'm getting.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So the question was. Yeah, being friends with my ex who dumped me.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And he's breadcrumbing me. I think we just. No. Why the. You can't be friends with an ex.

[A]

You cannot be friends with an ex.

[B]

Run.

[A]

You know what?

[B]

It's almost go on some dates because you need to see what else is out there. Because clearly this ain't it.

[A]

Yeah. No, even situations you can't. You can't be friends.

[B]

There are billions of men in this world.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If there's one thing as to why you're breaking up with someone, whether it's cheating, shitty person, doesn't understand your values, doesn't think you're hot enough, then they're just not it. Because there's a million other people that will think you are it.

[A]

Yeah. And like, you also very important. Work on yourself.

[B]

Work on you.

[A]

Because if you're also still in that friendship, you think very poorly of yourself, that you're still in that. You know what I mean?

[B]

So can you explain that? Because some people don't get it. It's like. Yeah, I think what you're saying is like self love, like understand that you don't want to devalue yourself to bring yourself to keep talking to someone to make them feel comfortable and yourself feel worse.

[A]

Yes, exactly. That's exactly it. Like, listen to podcasts, journal, like, go on a self love journey because you will.

[B]

Like, I hate journaling.

[A]

Journaling sucks. It's so healing.

[B]

I started just writing my podcast notes down.

[A]

But you know what? That's. That's perfect.

[B]

Perfect. That is journaling.

[A]

That's fine.

[B]

I'm like, so what are we gonna talk about today? Yeah, what event are me and Izzy gonna do? What should I do?

[A]

What event are we going to start?

[B]

Yeah, how drunk can we get?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, so we're saying spark. No version of that.

[A]

Just leave.

[B]

Just leave.

[A]

Work on yourself.

[B]

You don't need to be friends with an ex. You can't be friends with an ex unless you quite literally would look at him and say, I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

[B]

Don't be friends with them until that happens.

[A]

Agreed.

[B]

How do I break from being so self? How do I. How do I.

[A]

How do I. How do I.

[B]

Drop the bean? Okay. How do I break from being so self conscious?

[A]

Honestly, we're still working on it, girl. I'm still working on it too. Like, that's why I was like. But like, I feel like it goes back to like, you know, going on a journey of self love, like experimenting, like going outside.

[B]

What is this journey? How do we get on it? Like, honestly, I feel like there's a bus and we just all need to.

[A]

Hop on and be like, it's the fucking scariest journey ever. Because you have to. But go out alone, wake up alone, experiment. See what you like, see what you dislike. See the type of go to the gym, like, alone. Yeah, bro, it sucks.

[B]

It sucks.

[A]

But you need to do it. What was the question?

[B]

How do I break from being so self conscious?

[A]

Where was I even going with that?

[B]

You need to do it. Your journey.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Your journey is your journey, not mine. Figure it out.

[A]

Figure it out, girlfriend.

[B]

I don't know what to say.

[A]

What do you think?

[B]

No, what I think is get self love tattooed on your hand. Look at it every day. Because that's what helped me also, like, find love in yourself. Like, I love who I am. I love who I am. I know that I could work on some things. I want to be my hair blonder. I want to be taller, I want to be skinnier, I want to be better, perfectly.

[A]

You're tall.

[B]

I am. I just came up with random things. But like I want to. Physically there's things you could change, but emotionally and something that you're going to be with for your whole entire life is you. Your values, the way you treat people, the way you come across, the energy that you give off and you leave in a room when you leave a get together, even with family. So it's like, how do you want that to be? Genuinely, how do you want to feel when you leave a situation? So it's like once you're comfortable with that and once you work on that enough to be like, no, I left exactly how I wanted to be and I am who I am and I'm not fooling anyone. I'm not lying, I'm not disrespecting. Like, I am who I am, then that's at a point where you're just like, no. Even if a relationship fails, I don't need to work on myself. I can keep looking because I'm not the problem. That's when you know I am who I. You just couldn't either handle it. You weren't enough for me, I wasn't enough for you. And that's just what it is. And that's when you can walk away with your head held high. It's shitty, but you're not moping over it as if you could change something.

[A]

I agree. That was a bit of a second. That was good.

[B]

That was kind of crazy.

[A]

I'm not good at like putting my thoughts into words. You're very good at that.

[B]

Me either.

[A]

No, but that was really good.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's the martinis.

[A]

It's the five martini. I'm kidding.

[B]

It's three. How many was it that we had? Three. Three.

[A]

Okay. Period.

[B]

Three or four.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

Do you think I look drunk?

[A]

No.

[B]

Good.

[A]

No.

[B]

Last question. Spark notes version. Okay. Someone didn't like me doing the spark note version. They said I lost them. So I got ChatGPT to do a spark note of this long voice note. Oh, so this is what sparks. This is what? ChatGPT. Ready? Yeah, they said. Background. You're 23. X is nearly 23. You dated for one year. Broke out. Okay. I'm starting over. Background.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

You're 23. He's 23. Okay, we're just gonna say you do.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

You're 23. He's almost 23. You guys dated each other for one year. You broke up two months ago.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

After a year of a relationship, he keeps reaching the fuck out. Annoying, right? His requests. He moved two hours away to London, Ontario, and he's now asking you to visit his Easter and stay at his family's house for three to five days. And to see if you guys can live together.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

She thinks it's way too soon. Shady M. I don't know where this is. I'm losing it. His friend's.

[A]

Oh, there's more.

[B]

This is the Shady M. So his friend's ex girlfriend. We'll call it Paul's ex girlfriend from your hometown.

[A]

You lost me.

[B]

Okay, you go.

[A]

Okay. Which one? Shady M. No.

[B]

Start from the whole spark now. And that's not even. That's a lot. There's more.

[A]

Okay. You're 23. X is nearly 23. Dated. Am I the host now? Hey, guys. Welcome to Tom. Dated one year, broke up two months ago. But he keeps reaching out.

[B]

Okay, noted.

[A]

His requests were there. Move two hours away now. Asking you to visit for Easter and to stay three to five days to see if we can live together. Way too soon. Okay. Shady M. Okay. His friend's ex. His. Okay. His friend's ex. Who the fuck is Shady Eminem? His friend's ex girlfriend from your hometown. Wait, sorry. This doesn't make sense. His friend's ex girlfriend from your hometown.

[B]

Chat GPT has never let me down. Don't you dare talk about. About Chad.

[A]

You never fully trusted her. She's rumored to have dated nearly the entire friend group. She seems like a cheated repeatedly and now obsessively watches your social stories he brings.

[B]

She. This ex Friend from your hometown?

[A]

Yes. Yes.

[B]

Okay, so. So we're getting a fucking homewrecker coming.

[A]

Oh, and he brings her up constantly. Okay, hold on. We gotta put the drink. This is getting intense.

[B]

Wait, the rest of it is on where?

[A]

The next slide? Jesus. Wait, which one, bitch?

[B]

Red flag.

[A]

Oh, wait, this whole thing. Oh, my God.

[B]

Okay, Chatgpt went off.

[A]

He brings her up constantly, clearly knowing it bothers you. Okay, Red flag.

[B]

Wanna come in to answer this one or. No?

[A]

No idea. Special guest of yours joked about bringing girls home on a Mexico trip. FaceTime. Okay. Made catty comments about where did Mexico come. Made catty comments about your outfit and your best friend's skirt. What's going on? What scene?

[B]

I need a visual.

[A]

Yeah, I know. I need someone to draw. Kid, is there a whiteboard in here also? Hootie.

[B]

Yeah, we do. Okay. Okay, wait, no, I'm gonna. No. Okay, camera, follow me. Okay, Camera's following me. Okay, you come here. I need you to sit right here. We're being the two characters, okay? And I'm gonna. I'm gonna draw with my hand.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

Okay, start over.

[A]

And I'm reading correct. Okay. So come sit.

[B]

So seven Michaels are ready.

[A]

So you're 23.

[B]

So am I.

[A]

10 years ago.

[B]

Oh, no, no, I'm 23. He's nearly 23.

[A]

Okay, yes. Dated one year. Broke up two months ago. But he keeps reaching out. Okay, He. His requests are that he move two hours away, and he's asking you to visit for Easter and stay three to five days to see if we can live together.

[B]

So he know we broke up, but he wants to see if we can live together, make this work.

[A]

And she thinks it's way too soon.

[B]

And I'm like, holy fuck. Again, we just broke. Yeah.

[A]

Shady M. I hate Shady M. Me too. His friend's ex girlfriend from your hometown, period. You never fully trusted. Wait, wait.

[B]

Whose ex best friend? Mine are His.

[A]

His friend's ex girlfriend from your hometown. So his friends probably grew up together or something. Okay, this is a crazy story.

[B]

His friend's ex girlfriend. So it's you now. Okay, you're the ex girlfriend.

[A]

I'm the ex girlfriend from your hometown. You never fully trusted her. She's rumored to have dated nearly the entire Shady as M. I'm Shady M. I cheated repeatedly. And now, oh, I obsessively watch your stories. Oh, he brings me up knowing that it bothers you. Okay, now, I got this. I got this now. Okay.

[B]

Right. This works.

[A]

Yes. Red Flags from X joked about bringing. Okay, so to you he joked about bringing girls home on a Mexico trip. FaceTime. Got it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. He made catty comments about your outfit and your best friend's skirt. Okay.

[B]

Crazy.

[A]

Use his expensive perks.

[B]

So you're talking about my best friend's amex perks.

[A]

Fancy dance to lure you back. Okay, so he's trying to make his, like, honestly, every time someone t unfortunately has let you down in this.

[B]

Anytime someone has ever tried to woo me with amec perks, it's worked.

[A]

Yeah. Fancy dinners to lure you back. The current dilemma is texting you again about the long weekend to see if we can live together.

[B]

You must choose.

[A]

Continue your glow up and leave him in the past. Okay, number one is go for the plot by seeing him this weekend and adding another chapter to this chaotic story. Number two is key question. Move on and protect your progress or indulge the drama for one more episode. No, Go for the glow up. Yeah.

[B]

Glow up. Say that in the mic because they won't hear you.

[A]

Glow up. Glow up. Always glow up. Up. Yes. Keep glowing.

[B]

And also, like, why would you go back? Would you go back?

[A]

Why would you go back?

[B]

There's so much potential for you. The friend. Sorry, jdm the friend.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You have so much better going for you.

[A]

Yes. I think again, it just goes back.

[B]

Also, guys, she's asking us what to do, and it's before Easter. Yeah. So this is so relevant.

[A]

Girl, tell us what you did. Tell us what you did. If they broke up up, why are they thinking about living together? Yeah, he's weird. You're weird. For that you're a. I'm also a. I'm.

[B]

I need self love of my hand. Okay. Like, there's a lot going wrong in this.

[A]

Yeah, but okay, so basically, moral of the story leaves.

[B]

Did you read your oer or no? Oh, no, I read the outer. What? You have to say it in here.

[A]

Who, me?

[B]

Yeah. No, but say close.

[A]

I will. Thank you, Izzy, for coming on Tall Blonde. I love your energy and perspective. You are so mature. Thanks for everyone listening, you can find Izzy on Instagram @izzysantuli and check out the not so silent podcast. Wherever you listen, don't forget to, like, subscribe and leave us a review if you enjoyed today's episode. Thank you. Thank you, Izzy. Yay. Thank you for having me on.

[B]

Who's gonna stop clapping first?