#4340 Going Too American With Your Gothic

Summary

TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live – Episode #4340: "Going Too American With Your Gothic"

Release Date: November 19, 2024
Hosts: Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh

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1. BMX Race Excitement

The episode kicks off with an energetic discussion about an upcoming BMX race featuring a young talent named Crew. Luke sets the stage with enthusiasm:

Luke Burbank [00:04]: "His name is Crew. Hey, good looking. BMX is his world. Rad is his way of life."

Andrew adds his admiration for Crew's determination:

Andrew Walsh [00:19]: "I've never seen such raw determination and talent."

The hosts debate whether Crew can triumph against more established competitors, injecting humor and competitive spirit into the conversation.

2. Listener Interactions and Stories

Throughout the episode, Luke and Andrew engage with listeners, sharing memorable anecdotes and humorous exchanges. A notable moment occurs when a listener recounts a bizarre interruption involving a fallen coconut:

Listener [00:37]: "He was telling me how he's the Jesse James of rock and roll... then right in the middle of a sentence, a bonf a coconut fell on his head."

This playful interaction showcases the show's lighthearted nature and the hosts' ability to navigate unexpected listener contributions.

3. Weather Concerns and Show Updates

Luke expresses his anxiety about an impending severe weather event:

Luke Burbank [02:28]: "I am nervous about what is predicted to be a bomb cyclone of wind and rain hitting the region."

Amidst these concerns, Luke hints at the possibility of this being the final episode of TBTL, urging listeners to make it memorable:

Luke Burbank [02:34]: "This might be the final episode of TBTL. So let's make it a good one."

4. Announcements: New Merch and Card Exchange

The hosts proudly announce the launch of new merchandise and the revival of the TBTL Card Exchange:

Luke Burbank [03:05]: "We do have new merch [e-mail]... The TBTL card exchange run by our good friend Melisand out there in New York is active."

Listener Melisand's dedication to the card exchange is highlighted, emphasizing the community-building aspect of the show.

5. Critique of SNL's Creative Direction

A significant portion of the episode delves into the hosts' critique of Saturday Night Live (SNL), particularly focusing on recent sketches and their perceived decline in quality. Luke discusses his disappointment with the portrayal of political figures and the shift in comedic style:

Luke Burbank [30:14]: "I didn't like their take... portraying Trump as a crazy, buff version doesn't resonate with how he actually perceives things."

Andrew supports Luke's perspective, reflecting on the show's evolution and its impact on the hosts' interest.

6. The Razzlecon Crypto Scandal

A major topic is the case of Heather Morgan, aka Razzlecon, who is implicated in a massive Bitcoin theft:

Luke Burbank [51:12]: "Heather Morgan, who fancies herself a rapper... She pled guilty to some part of this."

The hosts analyze her dual persona and the broader implications of wealth and confidence in the crypto world. Luke expresses skepticism and disdain towards individuals within the cryptocurrency sphere, questioning the ethics and social awareness of such figures.

Luke Burbank [65:13]: "It's hard for me to feel a huge amount of empathy for anyone involved at any level in any of this crypto bullshit."

7. Nostalgic Listener Memories

Listeners share nostalgic memories that resonate with the hosts, fostering a sense of camaraderie. One listener recalls an amusing coincidence related to their parent's memorization of toothpaste back-of-tube slogans:

Listener Corey [73:14]: "My mom had the dental statement memorized too... 'This crest has been shown to be an effective decay preventive dentifrist...'"

Such exchanges highlight the show's community-driven atmosphere, where personal stories enhance the listening experience.

8. NBA Team Discussions and Listener Contributions

The episode also features discussions about NBA team histories, specifically focusing on the Detroit Pistons and the Charlotte Hornets/Bobcats:

Listener Corey [83:14]: "The Detroit Pistons were started as the Zollner Pistons, named after the piston company that made car parts."

Corey provides an insightful backstory, which Luke and Andrew elaborate on, enriching the conversation with sports trivia and listener engagement.

9. Humorous Banter and Closing Remarks

As the episode nears its end, the hosts continue their trademark humor, joking about past events and preparing for future topics:

Luke Burbank [86:36]: "We'll talk about that tomorrow on the program. In the meantime, it's going to do it for today's show."

They wrap up with well-wishes and playful remarks about upcoming discussions, maintaining the show's upbeat and friendly tone.

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Notable Quotes

• Luke Burbank [02:34]: "This might be the final episode of TBTL. So let's make it a good one."

• Andrew Walsh [00:19]: "I've never seen such raw determination and talent."

• Listener Corey [83:14]: "The Detroit Pistons were started as the Zollner Pistons, named after the piston company that made car parts."

• Luke Burbank [30:14]: "I didn't like their take... portraying Trump as a crazy, buff version doesn't resonate with how he actually perceives things."

• Luke Burbank [65:13]: "It's hard for me to feel a huge amount of empathy for anyone involved at any level in any of this crypto bullshit."

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Conclusion

Episode #4340 of TBTL: "Going Too American With Your Gothic" offers a vibrant mix of sports enthusiasm, critical media commentary, community interactions, and humorous banter. Luke and Andrew navigate through diverse topics, from BMX races and SNL critiques to cryptocurrency scandals and NBA team histories, all while maintaining a personable and engaging rapport. The episode underscores the show's commitment to covering a broad spectrum of subjects with wit and genuine connection to its listeners.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

His name is Crew. Hey, good looking. BMX is his world. Rad is his way of life. This is a very important race. He's got the style. There's something about the way you rad so naturally. And he's going to prove it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I've never seen such raw determination and talent.

[Luke Burbank]

One kid against the factory hot shots. Looks like the lofa Yoko's gonna race after all. It's gonna take a miracle to beat this guy against the big money fixers. All you have do is take out that kid against impossible odds. This guy doesn't even stand a chance. Yeah, yeah, he's going for it all. RADIO when you knock us down, we're gonna get up. And on the way up, we're gonna bite a kneecap off, all right? And we're gonna stand up and then it's gonna take two more shots to knock us down. I've never felt this way about anybody before, not even Bobby Sherman, who I.

[Listener]

Completely and totally adored.

[Luke Burbank]

But now I realize that that was just puppy love and that this is the real thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

So I thought that maybe you could think about next Thursday night.

[Luke Burbank]

If that's good for you.

[Andrew Walsh]

I can get tickets to Nonsense because I really want to see that before I die. It's their nuns and they sing and there's a lot of improv.

[Listener]

What happened?

[Andrew Walsh]

He was telling me how he's the Jesse James of rock and roll.

[Luke Burbank]

And then right in the middle of.

[Listener]

A sentence, bonf a coconut fell on his head.

[Luke Burbank]

No, you're going to tell a story.

[Listener]

I don't believe that I can bear to listen to another one of your stories right now.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, hello, good morning and welcome everyone to a Tuesday edition edition of tbtl. The show just might be too beautiful to live.

[Listener]

Micro wave.

[Luke Burbank]

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. All in all, my brothers out there with Puffy Nip coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia, we are. I am nervous, folks, on this Tuesday morning. I am nervous about what is predicted to be a bomb cyclone of wind and rain hitting the region.

[Listener]

What do you got here? A thunder hurricane going on. A thunder blizzard hurricane.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know if this is just my age. I was never a person who worried about the weather. And now I'm looking around, I'm analyzing things in the yard, wondering if I should be taking down anything and everything that isn't, like, you know, nailed down and taken into the basement. We are supposed to be getting a big weather event here on the west coast, particularly up here in the Northwest. And this might be the final episode of TBTL. So let's make it a good one. It's episode 4340 in a collector series.

[Listener]

Let the fun begin.

[Luke Burbank]

Do I have some. I have some good news. Finally. Single Christians good news. You know, in these turbulent times, anytime there's any good news, I like to highlight it. And this involves a person who seems to be a pretty bad person and also a very bad rapper. I'm the president of rap music and.

[Andrew Walsh]

I need to work with you right away.

[Luke Burbank]

Getting their comeuppance. We'll tell you the latest on razzlecon, the crocodile of Wall street, and a bunch of other stuff that we've got on the list today. It's gonna be a busy, busy show. Speaking of creative types and people who really understand what art is and art isn't, let me introduce you to the longest running cobro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships and his complete comfort in the spaces between the talking here on tbtl. And artist respects the sonics.

[Andrew Walsh]

It serves as the foundation of creativity.

[Luke Burbank]

He is Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Listener]

There's a funny line from a movie. Luke, Good morning. And it's a Whit Stillman film. I can't remember the name of it, but Whit Stillman made Metropolitan. It might. I feel like it might have been disco days. Barcelona is it. He's got a movie called Barcelona. Right. And I. I say it that way because it matters.

[Luke Burbank]

Put some respect on its name where.

[Listener]

Somebody is talking there. You know, it's like these kind of.

[Luke Burbank]

Last days of disco. That's what I was trying to think of.

[Listener]

Yeah, it's not this one of the damsel in distress. Love and friendship is great.

[Luke Burbank]

That's Barcelona. Barcelona, Metropolitan. I think I'm naming a lot.

[Listener]

I think. Yeah, I think that's most of them. I think that's most of them. We play some tape from your friends and neighbors. By the way, that's a. That's a newer one that came out like in the past five, I'll say 10 years. That is based on one of Austin's unpublished works, I believe. I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

Your friends and neighbors.

[Listener]

Yeah, we play it.

[Luke Burbank]

You made that one.

[Listener]

I'm sorry, not your friend. I'm sorry. No.

[Luke Burbank]

I thought that was like Todd Haynes.

[Listener]

Not your friends and neighbors. What's the one you said about love? Yeah, it's definitely not your friends and neighbors. That is a very different vibe.

[Luke Burbank]

Love and friendship.

[Listener]

Love and Friendship is the one.

[Luke Burbank]

Love and friendship, huge difference. That's the one with Al Bundy in it, right?

[Listener]

That is the one with Al Bundy. He flushes a toilet and then sticks half of his hand down the front of his pants. Are you familiar? It's.

[Luke Burbank]

Unfortunately, I'm very familiar both with the character and the lifestyle.

[Listener]

A lot of people don't realize that's a Whit Stillman vibe, but it is. That's actually the.

[Luke Burbank]

He was the one who came up with the idea of the crowd going crazy every time Christina Applegate walks onto the. That was Whit Stillman.

[Listener]

Yes. And the Heisman pose for. Is that. What is that?

[Luke Burbank]

That was an Al Bundy movie. By the way, your Friends and Neighbors was Neil LaBute.

[Listener]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

I knew it was one of those guys that likes to make movies that leave you feeling less good about the world.

[Listener]

Your Friends and Neighbors is. I haven't seen that since. I didn't see it in the theater, but I saw it when it was relatively new.

[Luke Burbank]

I'd wait four years.

[Listener]

I don't know if I could come back and watch that one. Yeah, that's about some really, really awful people doing awful things, if I recall. But all of that is to say now I've totally lost the reason I even brought this up. But you mentioned about the spaces in between spaces. And there's a line in Barcelona where one of these college age kids or post college age young people is being sort of high minded and pseudo intellectual and talking about like we're always talking about the subtext, the subtext. But nobody ever says what is above the subtext. Like, what is that? We never talk about that. And somebody just says, that's the text. And I think about that line all the time when you're being a little bit, a little bit too smart for your own good.

[Luke Burbank]

We have never been accused of that on this show.

[Listener]

Well, I think I have been accused.

[Luke Burbank]

Of not smart enough for anyone's good. I think it's more the sort of tone and tenor.

[Listener]

Although there is that thing that one slips into that I can slip into sometimes. This is a little bit different, but like going for a. Going for a. A larger word than is necessarily meant there or needed there. And it's not even. I'm not even. I can't explain it. All I want to do on the show is not stumble and not, you know, just embarrass myself beyond recognition. Like, I'm not trying to flex. I'm not trying to use big words. But sometimes like in the flow of conversation, you just start grasping for a word. You can probably hear me do it sometimes. I don't know if you're clocking it, Luke, but you'll hear me almost like. Is it fog? I almost Foghorn Leghorn sometimes. Listen for it, take a drink. Every time I do this, I'll stumble and I'll look for a word and then I'll just give up on it and say, a porky pigging. Is it a porky pigging and not a.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, because he would go like. But I'm not going to.

[Listener]

Yeah, you're right.

[Luke Burbank]

You'll know when I'm doing the impression. But he would. Yeah, he would stumble over a word and then pick an entirely different word.

[Listener]

I think I messed up the Looney Tunes reference. I can't do anything right.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you remember the I just saw this the other day? I'm not nearly as immersed in the world of Kids in the hall as you are, but do you know the kids in the hall Ascertain sketch?

[Listener]

I don't know where.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it's. Bruce McCullough has recently learned the word ascertain and he's using it so much at work that they have to call him into the office. Do you want to hear this?

[Listener]

I do. Just that note.

[Luke Burbank]

Dave Foley is the boss.

[Andrew Walsh]

I came as soon as I ascertained.

[Luke Burbank]

You needed to see me, sir.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sit down, Williams. What is it? Sir? Williams, there have been some complaints about your use of language on the docks.

[Listener]

On the docks?

[Andrew Walsh]

If this is about yesterday, sir, yes, I did use a few blue words, a few cuss words, but as soon as I ascertained that the mix up had been corrected, what I did was. No, Williams, it's not your swearing that I'm getting complaints about. It's the fact that you used the word ascertain too much. Really? Yes. Apparently you use it an average of 2 to 300 times daily. Well, I do, but. So other few words fit. Well, it's driving the men crazy. Okay, who's complaining? Sir? Is it Sanchez? No, it's not Sanchez. It's. It's the older men. The ones nearing retirement. Sir, I ascertain that these men are just jealous of my command of the English.

[Luke Burbank]

Language.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, perhaps, but I suggest that just to keep things running smoothly down in the dock. So you humor me by limiting yourself to these four work related phrases. Good morning, fellows. Hand me that thing. Boy, this works hard, guys. Breaks over, Sir, I ascertain that it's their problem. They're just jealous of me. It's my right to ascertain things. You should talk to them about their being upset about my ascertaination.

[Listener]

God, I love them. I can't explain to you what just even hearing that audio does for me. And I don't know that I've seen that one before. I mean, I feel like maybe at some point or another, I've seen them all. I don't know. That doesn't ring any bells for me. But, like, it's more than just funny to me. It's like my heart. My heart overfloweth with love for these.

[Luke Burbank]

Just watching you on Riverside while you were listening to that. But, yeah, I mean, I'm sure, because it takes you to. What part of your life does that take you to?

[Listener]

For me, high school, certainly. And, like, that sense of discovery, because I feel like. Let me. Let me see if I can rewind this a little bit. You grow up, at least for our generation, you grow up knowing about Saturday Night Live. I grew up in a household with pretty strict viewing kind of rules at home. So we knew of Saturday Night Live but weren't really allowed to watch it until we were kind of older. We watched some of the old ones, like from the 70s that my parents would sort of vet or whatever, and. But then you get to a certain age and you start discovering stuff on your own. And then the Kids in the hall was like, the first sketch comedy that was, like. It just seemed so edgy. Like, I didn't even understand some of it.

[Luke Burbank]

And there was, like, drag going on.

[Listener]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, I wasn't sure which cast members were gay, but I knew that was a pretty intense situation.

[Listener]

Oh, my God. So Kids in the hall has been streaming on one of those, like, Fubi Tubi Tubal, you know, like, streaming services lately. And so I've just been.

[Luke Burbank]

By the way, my Foobi Tubi Tubal trial period is about to run out, so I might have to borrow your password.

[Listener]

Yeah, my mind is swollen, and the doctor says I need to take some more medicine, get that under control. But, yeah, and so I bet, like, yeah, buddy, that character where he plays the really, really fake gay bartender. I mean, Genevieve has got together with a bunch of friends and watched that for her TV club one time. And some people who didn't understand the context for it, and I don't even remember who they were, I wasn't there for it. And I don't know, were pretty offended because some of the language that he uses is like, you know. But, I mean, Scott Thompson is a gay man, and I think that, you know, it's like, it was a little complicated in 2022 or whatever was to sort of explain the context because it was, like, really, really, really edgy stuff. But also, I can't explain it. Like, the reason I have the feelings I feel when you play that isn't just because of my memories of falling in love with the show, but because of the good spiritedness of that show as well. Like, they're just.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, it's deeply Canadian.

[Listener]

It's deeply Canadian.

[Luke Burbank]

And so they're so lovable as a good thing.

[Listener]

I just. I feel like I have a personal relationship with every one of them.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel kind of like my personal relationship with Saturday Night Live may have sort of ended. Yours ended a long time ago, but I was still up until pretty recently. Like, you know, if they had a guest star on who or a host, I should say, who I was kind of excited about. I'd. I'd make sure to watch, you know, how the sketches were. Like, I wouldn't. I'm not watching it on Saturday night, but I would definitely jump on the Internet on Monday and kind of see what were the best sketches and things like that. But I just think. I just think I've aged out and. Which is. You know, which I probably should have aged out a long time ago. But, like, there's this one sketch that. It's like their sensational sketch of the season so far, and it seems so. So middling to me. It's this character named Domingo. And basically the way it plays out, the first. The first iteration of this or whatever the first presentation of it was, it's a wedding. It's the reception and the kind of bridal party. So the brides, you know, friends and, you know, bridesmaids, I guess, are kind of singing like a. They're singing a song, and it's a cover, I think, of, like, a Sabrina Carpenter song. So they're kind of singing a pop song, but they've changed the lyrics to be about their friend, the bride and the wild times they've had, including the bachelorette party. And what becomes apparent is that she definitely hooked up with a guy named Domingo at the. At the bridal, you know, not the bridal shower, but the bachelorette party. And then, like, the. Her husband is sort of horrified that this is all being presented in song. And then, like, Domingo shows up at the end and it's like. I mean, I just explained to you.

[Listener]

The entire concept of only it keeps going and going.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, it just. It's had this whole Afterlife on the Internet of like. And I wish I knew the name of the performer, the Saturday Night Live cast member who plays this Domingo guy, because it's now a thing where he's, like, showing, like, it's so popular with people in their 20s. And this is, again, where I just realized I'm just not. I'm just not the right age for that show anymore, that it's just, like, popping up everywhere. Like, he's showing up at, like, the World Series as Domingo, and they're cutting to him. They already have put out another version of it. And I want to say it's like the bride's baby shower. So, you know, we're staying with these characters. And again, it's her baby shower. Friends are singing a song that's a different pop song. And of course, guess what it leads to Domingo being there. And I just. Yeah, I just didn't. I don't know. I can't. It's. It's just one of the. It's one of the first times where the most popular sketch in the world of snl, because in the previous times, it's like, whether it's Melissa McCarthy talking about that Cash can get. Really get her out of a couple of jams, and she's just, like, chugging ranch dressing. And I was like, that is the. That's the sketch everyone's talking about. And it's also very funny to me. That's generally been my experience with snl and obviously, like, it's a whole parlor game to go, like, what was the good cast? And now there's no one good left. And then, you know, new people become popular, and then it's like, now this is the good cast. I mean, so people have been doing that for a long time, but for me, the constant was usually when something became really in the sort of zeitgeist, when something really caught the updraft of pop culture. I was kind of on board with the thing. And that is just. This is the first time that something is very much in the updraft culturally. And I'm just like, I don't really. Seems like a pretty thin joke to me. I saw somebody on, like, probably TikTok putting forward a theory why SNL has really changed over the last few years. And I don't know if this is true or not. This is one person. By the way, great episode of why Is this Happening Today? With our friend, television's Chris Hayes, talking about, like, the media at large and kind of like, where does the media go from here? But what I'll say is nice about the episode is it's. It's not like a media strategy for dismantling Donald Trump's, you know, presidency. It's just a. Like, let's check in on what's just going on with how information moves around. So it's not like a super depressing conversation. Well, it is a little depressing because of how information moves around. But one of the things that they mentioned on the episode today was talking about how in the early days of the Internet, you used to. This is to the side of what I was starting to say about snl in the early days of the Internet, you used to follow people, let's say, on Twitter because you thought their tweets were interesting or funny or whatever. And you. They had maybe that a blue checkmark. You had some sort of, like, relationship with the idea of this person. You had sort of selected them. You were like, I like their content. I want to get more of their content with the algorithms. Now, so much of the content that we're getting is not content we asked for, and it is not people that we specifically follow. It's just a random person. For instance, a guy analyzing why SNL sucks. Now. Now, I don't know what this guy knows about that. He's not someone I chose to follow on TikTok. I don't know if he knows what he's talking about. But I did think his theory was interesting, which was there are sort of two, I guess, major schools of improv. One is the Groundlings, and one is Second City. And I may be getting the specifics wrong, but this guy's point was the initial sort of the SNL that we think of is largely based on, I'm going to say Groundlings, which is kind of a guess where the. What is really happening is characters is oddball. Characters show up in a situation and they act odd. So it's built around the idea of characters. But what the rise in the SNL cast now has been around the other big improv movement, which is based on games, which is based on improv games, and a certain kind of, you might say, ensemble presentation that is something that is less successful comedically in the context of snl. And when he said that, I was like, I kind of can see that because, like, when I think of the SNL stuff that I'll go Back to Melissa McCarthy, that Melissa McCarthy sketch is just. She's a real oddball who shows up in different situations and makes it weird for everyone. And by the way, I don't know which school she might have come out of Second City, she might have come out of Groundlings, I don't really know. But the point was that there's been a kind of a. Like a shift in the kind of folks that are getting hired by SNL and the kind of improv world they came up in. And we're starting to kind of see the evidence of that. I don't know if it's that, if I'm just old, but I'm just. The Domingo thing is not. It's not hidden for me.

[Listener]

So one quick thing on the media conversation that you brought up with Chris Hazen about how stuff is kind of fed to us, just for the record, like, that's exactly. That is exactly one of the. And probably the biggest reason why I didn't like threads so much. It just felt like they were just. It was constantly like, your feed always had something in there, even if you'd seen everything by the people that you follow. And if you didn't follow anybody, you just open up threads. And it was like, pretty packaged. All this stuff that, you know, Zuckerberg's people wanted you to see because they wanted it to go vi. You know what I mean?

[Luke Burbank]

It was like, so Zuckerberg's favorite tweet.

[Listener]

It was just so pre packaged. And Instagram, which is, you know, the same product essentially does the same thing, which is. Which is like, they're constantly. They make you constantly turn off the feature where it's like, I don't want to see things from strangers. And you can't just turn it off constantly. We've talked about on the show, you have to keep doing that every month. And it's like, that's what drives me crazy. And while we've been talking about Blue SK Guy, that's one of the refreshing things about it. It goes back to the early days a little bit. You're still going to see retweets and you're still going to see a lot of stuff, and you're going to have to manage your stuff. But it's not as like. And I always use the word thirsty, that threads just had this like, look at me now. Look over here. Look. Flashy, flashy. It just drove me bananas as far as SNL is concerned. I wanted to say that for the record, like, I haven't watched snl, like, you know, literally probably since, I guess, high school or maybe college on the regular. But that isn't to say that, like, I want to be like, you know, I'm the guy who doesn't like snl. One of my favorite things on this show is when you're tickled by an SNL sketch, either something that you missed from 10 years ago or something that is current right now, and you play it for me and I just giggle. Like there's some. I love it when there's something fun. I want it to be funny. And I'm going to go on a limb here and say I like to laugh. So I'm not like, trying to be, like, not liking SNL as a personality type. It just, I watched, I think maybe I thought we were going to talk about it on TBTL or something. So in the lead up to the election, I watched one of those big cold opens. And this has been the case since the very beginning. Right. Like, the cold opens, especially the politically, the ones that are based on political narratives in the mainstream culture, they're always just like, we're going to get people to do an imitation of all these things that happened. But, like, the verisimilitude is so good that they're basically just recreating events that aren't really that funny. You know what I mean? There aren't.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, the joke is in the impression, not in the writing exactly.

[Listener]

And like, there was a long one, one that I think a lot of people were talking about, I'm gonna say maybe a month ago or something that, you know, had Maya Rudolph as Kamala Harris and like, Maya Rudolph, much like the kids in the hall, like just a beloved comedian. You know what I mean? Like, I have such. Yes. I mean, she just walks on the screen and you fall in love all over again. So I have nothing bad to say about her or her impression, but there just weren't jokes. It was, I mean, there were sort of jokes, but it was mostly her just being there and everybody loving the fact that she was there and that she does a good impression of somebody. But it wasn't funny. I will say when they tossed it over to James Austin Johnson's Trump, like, there's a little bit more there there. Like him just literally mispronouncing Kamala's first name was like that, I got to admit, like, that there's just something about his particular impression that is right.

[Luke Burbank]

And we've been following him years as he just was like, wander down Sunset riffing as Trump. It was a next level impression.

[Listener]

Yeah. And I was at the. I think maybe I didn't mention this to you on the show, but I was at a record show at the Shoreline Elks Club this weekend.

[Luke Burbank]

You did not mention that.

[Listener]

Yeah, it was great. I loved it. Oh, my God. Oh, shoot. Now, what's a record show?

[Luke Burbank]

Like, they're selling records? Yeah.

[Listener]

Like, a lot of record stores or record collectors, whatever, all come and set up kind of booths in this area at this Elks Club, which I'd never been to before. It's very nice inside there. As a fellow Eagle should the Eagles.

[Luke Burbank]

Take some notes, I will tip my.

[Listener]

Hat to my fellow Elks. And. Yeah. And so I went with a few buddies, and they sat in the bar and drank while I went. And I kept on checking in. I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm looking at all the records. They're like, you're fine. We're eating our fisherman's platter. Go play with your records some more. And so anyway, I was flipping through a bin of records and there was a conversation that I overheard. Now, I'm getting really off course, but I think you're gonna like this. Between a guy who I'm gonna say was maybe around my age, although I gotta remember that I'm getting kind of old. I'm gonna put this guy maybe in his. Somewhere in his 40s, and he's, like, sitting behind a table. He's a vendor, like, and he's talking to a woman who I'm gonna describe as a young woman, because I'm old. I'm gonna put her maybe in her. I'm gonna put her maybe in her old. Maybe in the later 20s, early 30s or something, but came off as a pretty young person to me. I'm gonna put her in her 20s. And they're chatting, and first of all, one thing I overhear them talking about is some song and that how Kixie radio plays it too much. And then my ears, like a dog, my ears.

[Luke Burbank]

You're across the auditorium.

[Listener]

I was actually at the Eagles, and I heard this from the Elks. Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

And you floated up like a cartoon skunk.

[Listener]

Yeah, like John Mulaney's pig character in the Spider man across the Universe movie. I know it's not called that. I can't. What's the. What's it called? Do you remember John Mulaney's character?

[Luke Burbank]

Enter the Spider verse.

[Listener]

Enter the Spider verse. One of my favorite jokes in that is nose just, like, takes him off his feet and he follows it. John Mulaney's spider pig, I think it was. Anyway, all of that is to say I'm standing next to these people, and I really try not to insert myself into other people's conversations.

[Luke Burbank]

Is it possible you're going to places where you think there's a likelihood they'll bring up kick.

[Listener]

Well, this is a first.

[Luke Burbank]

This seems like a real hot zip. Well, maybe Elks in, like, Bothell or wherever you were.

[Listener]

Maybe going forward, I should put myself in more Kixie rich situations and the.

[Luke Burbank]

Familiar with hospice care.

[Listener]

I. Anyway, so I hear them, and I hear them talk about Kixie, and they said something else. They're like, yeah, that and this and the Donovan song. They always play these two songs on Kixie. I'm like, you're talking about Kixie and Donovan? Are you. Is this a trap? Am I being catfished here? Like, this feels like alert, alert. And I just have to. I'm just like. And I'm kind of at the next table over, but they're standing very close to me, and I just. Look, I'm just like, are you guys talking about Kixie radio? They're like, yeah. And it was an awkward conversation because I didn't really know where to take it from there. I'm like, yeah, I'm a big Kixie listener, but the truth is, I actually haven't listened in a while because the playlists have changed, and they play kind of more modern music. Like, you'll hear 70s and 80s stuff on there. And you know me, Luke, I was a Kixie purist. But anyway, then they're. I'm like, oh, you're talking about the new playlist.

[Luke Burbank]

You have no time for that.

[Listener]

Like, yeah, the playlist changed a lot, huh? They're like, yeah, but it's really the commercials. And the young woman is saying something like, yeah, you know, I'm not their demographic. I'll bet you she was probably closer to, like, maybe her 20s. And she's like, yeah, I'm just not their demographic. And I'm hearing all these commercials. I'm like, yeah. I'm thinking to myself, like, you are? Definitely, yeah. People in their 20s are not the Kixie demographic. This is, of course, a radio station on the AM dial that plays oldies or certainly used to play stuff, mostly from the 50s and 60s. And I even. And then I couldn't help but I'm like, you know, I know the person who sells all of those commercials on Kixie radio. I'm like, anything you want me to pass along? They're like, yeah, less supplement commercials. They don't really apply to me. The reason I bring all of this up is because then I disengage from the conversation. Like, I realize I'm not going anywhere with this Kixie conversation. We're not exactly on the same path. I'm flipping through my records, and these two continue to talk, and they clearly know each other, right? And the guy says to the woman, what do you. What are your plans for the Saturday night? And she said, oh, you know me. Just, I'm going home to watch snl. And. And then she even said. She's like, yeah, they're really. They have to kind of eat crow now, you know, kind of after the election. And then they get into. She's, you know, she. They start talking about their own, you know, insecure feelings after the election as well. So she wasn't like. She wasn't, like, running a victory lap.

[Luke Burbank]

Or Trump dancing, looking forward to them eating crow?

[Listener]

No, no, no. She was even, you know, so they were on the right side of history or whatever. But my point in all of this is that feeling of her saying, like, yeah, I'm going home. Like, I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna make myself some soup or whatever it is. She listens to Kixie. I'm gonna assume it's soup. She's gonna go home and make some soup, something soft, and tune in for the snl. And, like, I loved that for her, and I want that for myself. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think it's cool. I miss those days to not like snl. I love that. I love that people get enjoyment out of it. So anything crit. Critical I say is not. Is not to diminish the people who do see that as appointment viewing. And I will be sad if I am alive and SNL goes off the air, even if I haven't watched it in 20 years.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I. Speaking of their, you know, first show post election, I didn't even watch it. I saw, like, a. Some description of, like, where they went with it, their angle on it. And I have to say, I mean. I mean, first of all, to this day, but particularly in the, you know, three to four days right after the election, the nerves, my nerves, which are usually subcutaneous, were outside of my skin. I mean, that's how sensitive I was to everything. You know what I mean? Like, if a light breeze blew across my arm, it was like, ah. So I was extra sensitive. But I did not like their take, which was their joke was, oh, we actually love Trump all along. And, like, you're the best dude. And they have Austin. What's his name? James Austin Johnson.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

He is portraying a crazy, buff Trump, like a cool, idealized version of Trump. And so the whole Joke is like, haha, we were kidding. We actually really like you. You're like the coolest. My problem with that is that Trump does not possess the ability to understand irony. And so I don't think he interprets that as like, oh, this is a meta joke about how like, you know, they just don't want me to literally like pull the license from NBC and they're just sucking up to me in a way that the joke is still on me. He just sees it as like look at buff me on television. And it's just like I just don't understand how, I mean I, maybe that's not how you, that's not how you program that show. You don't think what's Trump's actual feeling going to be sitting at Mar a Lago when he watches this or sees a clip of it. But that's how I interpret it and I don't like him. He's just such a unbelievably simplistic CRO Magnon that I just him, James Austin Johnson being like the cool version of Trump, just reads to Trump as I'm the cool guy now. Yeah, I was just like, it really bothered me, honestly, it like really pissed me off. Yeah.

[Listener]

And you'd wish that they would. And I know, I mean it's such a. What's the word I'm looking for? It's not an irony, it's not a conundrum. This is me looking for words again, like I like to do on the show. But I don't.

[Luke Burbank]

Is it an ascertainment?

[Listener]

It's an ass. If I am ascertaining your description of.

[Luke Burbank]

This properly, I'm an ascertain man.

[Listener]

By the way, I thought you were a breast retained man. I. You just wish that they would somehow stand up for what's right or you know, like. And I, the reason I was stumbling before saying like, obviously they work for NBC. You know what I mean? Like how, how counterculture or how, you know, like how much power do they even have or how much do I expect out of like one of the three legacy network shows being able to go hard into.

[Luke Burbank]

Are they still owned by General Electric?

[Listener]

I don't think so because I think NBC is owned by like Comcast. Remember, like Comcast Cable. Cable town. Yeah, exactly. So I don't know the whole tree of it, but either way it's the big, you know, it's the most corporate y of corporate America. Right. And so how much do you expect then?

[Luke Burbank]

Outsider theater groups somewhere in the Valley?

[Listener]

Yeah. So I Don't know how much pressure is on them, but you just wish that they would speak truth to power a little bit more or not. Just like, oh, yeah, yeah, I'm with you that. And again, it's because of my leanings, but like, that sounds like weak tea to me, man.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. And I agree with you that I think the cold open has been. I don't know if I think this guy's name is Jim Downey. I don't know if Jim Downey still writes the cold open. But I know for like literally 20 to 25 years there was one guy at SNL who was kind of like the cold open guy. And those cold opens are almost always just like about whatever was in the news this week, particularly politics. And I always thought like, this guy should be writing for Bill Maher. Sure, that was the energy. The energy was like 58 year old white guy writing what he thought was sort of slightly trenchant political satire, but which is, you know, one click up from the guy on public television who would like stand up while he played the piano.

[Listener]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Mark, Whatever his name.

[Listener]

Yeah, I'm blanking on his name.

[Luke Burbank]

It just felt kind of like it just did in the, in, in SNL's best days. It always felt tonally off. It felt like, why are we, why are we having the, like the oldest people in the room write this opening thing and then it shifts into something else that's kind of funny and edgy and bizarre. But why is this the part that feels like it could have been written by the Bill Maher staff?

[Listener]

Are you talking about this?

[Luke Burbank]

Ladies and gentlemen, let us welcome Washington's fearless political satirist, the court jester on the poop deck of the ship of state.

[Listener]

Mark, that's the only Mark Russell tape that I have. I think you and I, like a decade ago, went through a mini Mark Russell phase where we're looking. Go that in the Capitol steps.

[Luke Burbank]

I remember, I remember Lord of the Fries.

[Listener]

I remember being so into public radio when I first discovered it. But it was only the Capitol steps that made me think her like, what's going on here?

[Luke Burbank]

I assumed you and I had such a similar journey. Like we didn't grow up listening to or thinking about public radio. And then right as we were starting to spread our own little kind of wings as young adults, we found ourselves in the world of public radio. And we became pretty obsessed with it, I think, or just like experiencing it in this different way, as opposed to a kid who grew up with Morning Edition and, you know, whatever and kind of had a sense of it. And so trying to make kind of make meaning out of the whole thing. And what is. I thought all of it was good, but then there were some parts I was like, I just don't understand this yet. I just don't understand the comedy of a parody CD by the Capital Step with a drawing of Bill Clinton on the COVID But he's called Lord of the Fries. I know this is funny. It's not funny for me, but that's my failing. I'm not ready for the Capitol steps.

[Listener]

I love that so much. I mean, that kind of.

[Luke Burbank]

Someday I'll get there.

[Listener]

Someday you might. It still brings me back to the. To the SNL Cold Open. Because you said that to your understanding. One person has sort of been responsible for driving those for a long time. And I almost wonder if it goes back back to the earliest days or certainly this person would have. Would have kind of picked up what they were doing in the earliest days. Like, I was so young when I was watching reruns of snl. Like I said, my family didn't let us watch like, new snls. It was too fresh then. You didn't know what was going to happen. Also, it was late at night. But, like, we would have like, you know, the best of Steve Martin or whatever. And, you know, like, Steve Martin is a beloved household name or whatever. So we would watch those and laugh. And then every now and then there would be one where my parents would make us fast forward it or what, Whatever. I remember one that. Well, I don't even want to get into it. There was one that was really gross. And I look back, I'm like, how did they ever. I'll tell you off air anyway. But if you look back at those early ones, like, they were still doing the same thing. The Cold open was like, what Chevy Chase standing out there doing. Was he doing Gerald Ford? Right? He was, yeah. So at least that was adding a little bit of something to it. But I still think that, like, chances are it's still in the tradition. It always was. I feel like I change more than snl. And like, you kind of like there's a long tradition of the cold open just mocking or representing what has happened in the political news this week. And I wasn't annoyed by the ones that happened before I was born because I was more intrigued by it. I didn't know what was going on and I was piecing it together.

[Luke Burbank]

It was like me in the Capitol step.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And I was understand the humor.

[Listener]

And also, I mean, literally this is embarrassing, but I was, was learning history from there. You know, like there was a time in my life where if you asked me to actually this is the time of my life where you were to ask me anything. Gerald Ford, I would say a clumsy guy. Right? Like that's the first thing I think of.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, yeah. I'm looking up I. The guy by the way, I want to be, I want to clarify this guy, Jim Downey, who I mentioned, who I'm sure is a absolute sweetheart of a person and again is very respected and the world of SNL writing, he did write there for like 30 years, but it looks like he stopped in like 2013. So I can't really like he's credited with coining the term strategy.

[Listener]

Oh that, that, that was, you know.

[Luke Burbank]

Which would be like a George W. Bush delivered line or whatever. So I, you know, it's been, it's been a decade since those cold opens were written by him. Just so if you haven't liked them, it's not his fault he isn't there anymore. But it's mostly still kind of checks out with my general sense of that. It's also just. And we can certainly move on because we have two exciting announcements. Andrew. In fact, I am going to move on for once. I'm going to tell you that we do have new merch [e-mail] the TBTL merch store has been refreshed just in time for the holidays. On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me an ish.

[Listener]

Water bottle 11 hoodie sweatshirt was i5tbtl5t shirts. We do need extra.

[Luke Burbank]

We were doing that stuff in there.

[Listener]

I just, I didn't know we never riffed together. I wasn't really sure what my role was there.

[Luke Burbank]

Never will again. So yeah, there's, there's new merch over there and, and we would love it if you went over and got yourself a, a cool tall ships T shirt or hoodie or got one for somebody you love who's into tbtl. As we mentioned yesterday, this is really not a big money maker for us. It's just fun for there to be weird TBTL out in the world. So we and John Scarov, TBTL employee numero uno, has worked really hard on this, as have you, Andrew, on the design side. So thank you to both of you.

[Listener]

John works through the weekend on this too by the way. Just only give him credit.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you, John. We really appreciate you, buddy. Yeah. And then also the TBTL card exchange run by our good friend Melisand out there in New York is active. It's live. There's a link. I think the plan is to put a link [e-mail] eventually. I don't know when that will be there. I'm guessing there's some stuff already circulating on the Sten's page and stuff like that, but if you've taken part in this in years past, you know what it is. But if you're new to this whole thing, it's this really. It's like, one of the things about TBTL that I kind of am the most proud of. And of course, I've had absolutely nothing to do with it, but it's just this amazing thing I want to say. Jen started it years ago, and then Mellie and a couple other people kind of picked up the torch, which is, you know, it's nice to get cards around the holidays, and not everybody does. Part of it is because we don't do that anymore. Part of it's because you don't know what someone's social kind of sort of situation is. But this is just a way that you can send a card to someone who's a TBTL listener, and you'll get a card from someone. And the stories that I hear from people about just the way that this brightens their day and their week and just how great it is to feel connected to people now more than ever. So, yeah, the TBTL card exchange is ramping up again.

[Listener]

Can I tell you a couple of things on this point? Meli. Melisande. Melisande Hnek, by the way, is how you pronounce her last name. We messed it up during the donors, and it was a bummer because.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, it's because it's the letters H.

[Listener]

N, E, K. She totally did not bust our chops on it, but did either text us or. Or called in and mentioned that. Yeah, there's. Literally. Think of the letters hnek, and I think I'm putting the right. I may be emphasizing the wrong syllable.

[Luke Burbank]

That was the. That was the. Like. I don't know if that's technically a mnemonic or not, but that was the. That was the device that we were. That we used recently, and it worked great. And then I forgot about it in the intervening.

[Listener]

Yeah, as. As did I. I'm not trying to throw you under the bus, but I did want to clear that up, because, again, Melisande has not just been a listener and friend and supporter of this show for so, so long now, but also has been organizing this TBTL card exchange, which is, honestly, and again, probably because we're not running it, one of the most kind of successful, you know, things that TBTL has done, especially as far as kind of curing global loneliness and bringing smiles to faces. And Mellie, I think, texted me, I'm sorry that I can't find the text in front of me right now, but I thought it was interesting. There was a backstory to this that I didn't realize. I think May Jen had started the card exchange a while back, as you mentioned, and then it might have gone dormant. And I think Melly told me that it was actually maybe after the 2016 election that she was feeling. It was after something that made her, you know, in the world of global politics, that made her feel, like, really low, and everybody was really bumming out, and she was just, like, watching or rewatching an episode of, I want to say, Mad Men or some TV show like that. And in the background of some scene in somebody's apartment or home was a string of holiday cards, you know, classic string of holiday cards hanging in the background. And she thought, like, sure, what a. Like what a little ray of sunshine that would be. They have a bunch of cards in my house right now. And so she had the idea, well, the tens might want to get in on this. And that's why she sort of resurrected the. And I know that's the wrong season. Resurrection is more of a spring sort of thing.

[Luke Burbank]

Two in three days after watching Mad Men. And then the stone was rolled away.

[Listener]

I understand that she rolled a stone away and all the holiday cards were in there. But anyway, I did not know, or maybe I just didn't remember that backstory, and it was really touching to me, and the fact that Mellie's been running this for so long, ever since, really, I just appreciate it so much. And I appreciate it maybe even more now, knowing that backstory. And so I will. By the time this podcast posts today, there will be a link right at the top of tbtl.net and then you click on that, and you can fill out form, and you can take part in the TBTL card exchange. And just one more time, from the bottom of my heart, thanks, Mellie, for setting this up for reals.

[D]

Thank you for being a 10.

[Luke Burbank]

And I'll tell you, Andrew, when these tens, when they're not sending each other cards and lifting each other spirits, they're sending TBTL donations and lifting our payroll up to a place where it can exist.

[Listener]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

Keep the TBTL payroll. We exist.

[Listener]

That's right. Oh, that could be our next TBTLathon. Help us exist, please.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what? Actually, that's pretty good. That's pretty good. It's simple, it's pathetic.

[Listener]

It's somewhat existential.

[Luke Burbank]

Literally, it's motivating. It's got a lot going for it. TBTL help us exist. TBTLathon. Whatever. Help us exist. Lindsay Slaker of Madison, Wisconsin, has been helping us exist.

[Listener]

Thank you. With.

[Luke Burbank]

With Lindsay's donation. Thank you so much. Thanks also to Abigail Sherlock, who's in Los Angeles, California.

[Listener]

Nice. I used to live there.

[Luke Burbank]

I need to get back to that place. I need to get to a place where the. I mean, I know we're just. We're just getting started with this whole dark stuff, but, boy, it's. It's weighing heavy on my heart this year. Again, the sort of external circumstances of politics, I think just makes everything that's not great a little less great. But I've got. I think it's December 21st circle. That is, I believe, the shortest day of the year. The least sunlight, the least daylight day of the year. But you got to get there. But in the meantime, Abigail, can we come stay with you in Los Angeles, California? We'll just stay in the basement. You won't even know where there.

[Listener]

I mean, I'm gonna probably need three squares. Probably. Probably coffee in the morning, too.

[Luke Burbank]

You won't know I'm there. If you are up at about 11pm Andrew will be puttering in your kitchen listening to Lert on his Bluetooth headphones, oblivious to the world.

[Listener]

I told you, my friend, when we were in Croatia, that's literally how a friend who found me. Like, I had my headphones and she startled the hell out of me. And she's probably the friend that I knew the least going into the trip. And she was not expecting to find a puttering Andrew, like, totally blocking out the world with his. With his headphones, listening to Lebatard just like, just, I don't know, polishing cups in the kitchen in the middle of the night.

[Luke Burbank]

I love that kind of move for you. Like when we've done the TBTLathon weeks at a kind of a, you know, single location where we've been staying in a house together. That's like. It's comforting to me. It's like the ice maker in the refrigerator late at night after the dishes are done, like. Like I'm, you know, I'm getting ready to turn in, and there you are just kind of like doing your thing in the kitchen. You Got your headphones on. I feel like you're kind of. Kind of decompressing from the day everything feels right in the world.

[Listener]

Do you know, I have this memory that I don't think you would have been privy to because you were still out, but when we rented that Airbnb in Denver and we did our TB telethon in Denver, and then we capped it off with a trivia night there in Denver with a bunch of tens, and then I headed back to the Airbnb, and I think you and John. I don't know where John was, but, yeah, I think you and John maybe together went out with a bunch of tens, went drinking, because we were all staying in that place together. I think either way, we did.

[Luke Burbank]

I think you mean the final. After trivia.

[Listener]

After trivia, you and John went off somewhere and I came back with all the equipment. No, you know what? I think I dropped off John with. He had a relative in town or something. He was catching a flight the next morning.

[Luke Burbank]

I think I was the one that was out carousing.

[Listener]

You went carousing. And so I had the place to myself and I came back and I packed my bags or whatever, and then I think I went to, you know, like, do all the dishes in the. In the kitchen. And what I put on. I don't know. This is such a comforting memory for me. I just put on the Mariners game that I missed while we were doing trivia, like, on the app. You can go back and listen to it and keep in mind, when this was. This is. It was like, what, early July, right? Or late June? Like, sure. I can guarantee you it was what they call a meaningless game.

[Luke Burbank]

Are there any meaningless games?

[Listener]

But I just read. Have this feeling of just being like, we just did the TBTLathon. We just did the, you know, the live event or whatever. There's all that. And then, like, I just came back and was able just to again, just sort of polish the mugs and re. Listen. I can meaninglessly picture that for you.

[Luke Burbank]

Just the relief of being like. It went okay. People decided to support the show again. We had the event. It was great turnout, really awesome to see everyone. And now it's like, it's pretty much all done. And now you can just kind of like, finally, like, you know, relax.

[Listener]

I know that thing.

[Luke Burbank]

Although you also still had to drive a rental car with a cracked windshield across the country.

[Listener]

Yes, well, I think it started. I think it ended up being cracked on that trip. Although that is. Right. Because we did have to record. I think you and I had to also record another podcast the next morning from the road as I took you to the airport and returned a bunch of rental equipment. Anyway, it's funny how those times that feel so stressful, you know, once you get through them. And now I'm looking back on it as such a kind of a special time that week. Was it. What was that, three fundraisers ago? Maybe three TB tail.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, we were still with apm.

[Listener]

Yeah. And I remember having almost a panic attack when you showed up at the Airbnb because I couldn't get my computer to work and I was having other technical issues. And it's like, it's a good reminder that, like, this stuff, this stuff works out. I don't have to panic attack before every one of them.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, it's, it's. I mean, first of all, like, anxiety is what it is. Right. It's not logical. And it's just, unfortunately, it has a life of its own. But also there is this other element, which is the fact that you take it all very seriously is why it all works. Like, I don't. I'm not saying I want you to have to have a panic attack every time we do something technical. Like, even our show at the Quaker center in. In Philly, like, there was, you know, some technical, like, kind of hoops to jump through and you were there, you know, the day before and just like, really, really, like, you know, working an incredibly long, tiring day to get everything so that it would work. So we'd end up with a really good, you know, product and a good recording of the show, which was, by the way, the reviews were that it was actually a really good live show from, you know, from the folks who were there and the folks who got to hear it later. So you again, I don't want you to have to have a panic attack every time, but don't get too comfortable now.

[Listener]

All right?

[Luke Burbank]

That's all I'm saying.

[Listener]

Understood? Understood.

[Luke Burbank]

That's all Rachel Johnson is saying of Auburn, Washington.

[Listener]

Thank you, Rachel.

[Luke Burbank]

Just saying, saying, don't get too. I'm going to keep donating as long as you promise not to get too comfortable.

[Listener]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know what Linda Doyle in Baronia, Victoria, Australia's rules are about your level of comfort, Andrew. But I know that this is. This donation is coming from about as far away as it can on the planet Earth.

[Listener]

Power out. That's your Linda right there. Famous.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. S. As if being the voice of the end of every episode of the show isn't enough. Linda's also donating her hard earned. What do they use over there?

[Listener]

Loonies? I think they're called balloonies.

[Luke Burbank]

I said loonies. They're called skeets.

[Listener]

Here's one thing that listeners. I don't think we've talked about this before. A lot of listeners probably don't realize that we do play Linda's voice at the end of every single show saying power out. And have since power out.

[Luke Burbank]

People don't call the Australian dollar. Andrew. They really went for.

[Listener]

She charges us residuals every single time we play that. And they are not.

[Luke Burbank]

Fair's fair.

[Listener]

Yeah, I mean, it's a. It's a, you know, it's a recognizable part of the show now. It's branding. I understand that we are tied to it, but it is expensive. It is very expensive.

[Luke Burbank]

We screwed up because basically, like Linda was ready to accept basically a flat fee, which I think was going to be $80 for us to have unlimited use of it.

[Listener]

But I said, no, we want to pay you 80 every time.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, we just didn't think we were going to use it as much as we've ended up doing it. And so that was, you know, that was a lesson learned for us. And that's actually what took down the APM podcasting network. It wasn't mismanagement. It wasn't the fact that they stopped making podcasts except for ours. It was that we got into a really tough financial arrangement with Linda Doyle of Victoria, Australia.

[Listener]

It wasn't. It wasn't somebody standing on the banks of the Mississippi in the winter in St. Paul talking to the vibrations of the universe. That was just an inside joke for you, Luke. We can move up.

[Luke Burbank]

It was less that and more our business relationship with Linda. Our business relationship with Emily Mann of Tucson, Arizona remains uncomplicated. Here's how it works. Emily donates money to the show, and then we keep doing the show.

[Listener]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

And we very much appreciate you, Emily. And then Ann Vu is in Portland, Oregon. What a town, what a place, what an Ann. Thank you to all of our donors for making TBTL happen today. We could not do this with voucher.

[Listener]

Hello and welcome to Top Story.

[Luke Burbank]

A little update, Andrew, on a story that we talked about a while ago, maybe even a year or two ago, about a. A woman named Heather Morgan who was under suspicion, along with her husband, a guy named Ill Julia Lichtenstein, that they had stolen a bunch of bitcoin. They had stolen 120,000 bitcoin worth $71 million at the time, by the way. That's up to 11 billion right now as of this writing. But the reason that Heather Morgan kind of landed on our radar was because along with allegedly helping her husband with various parts of this scheme, she also fancies herself a rapper. She goes by the name Razzlecon.

[Listener]

Luke, would you believe me if I told you I totally blanked the story out? I don't feel like that happens to me usually. I usually have some, like, oh, yeah, really?

[Luke Burbank]

So this is not ringing any bells for you?

[Listener]

Like, literally zero. As I read this this morning, I had questions for you. And I'm just learning now that we've already talked about this. I could probably go back.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't think we got deep into the details of the case back in the day. I think what jumped out at us was. And the way this kind of landed on. On my radar was like, basically like, person suspected of dirty dealings revolving involving crypto also has a very, very regrettable rap career going.

[Listener]

Maybe if I.

[Luke Burbank]

So we were mostly focusing on the Razzlecon part of it. Unless on the con.

[Listener]

Well, here you might say, yeah, it was right there the whole time. I guess my question for you is, and it sounds like maybe. Maybe this will start to, like, kind of dawn on me more as we talk about it. And I don't know if you have clips of tape of the wrapping, because maybe I'll remember that I had a. You did. I know you. But I guess the thing in this article that I had immediate question about this morning was it said that, like, she was, you know, a blogger for, like, four. Like, she was, like, living a somewhat respectable life in the, you know, kind of crypto finance world. But then somebody, quote, unquote, discovered that she was also rapping as Razzle Khan. Like, which. Was she rapping as Razzlecon, like, thinking that she was pulling something off that nobody knew it was her. Was she wearing masks? Asks.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't. I. I miss that part of the story. If. If there. If there was a. A secretive element of it, I guess I didn't really pick that part up. I just thought my read on the situation was, like, too many of these folks who find themselves in this kind of world of. Of sort of crypto and, like, these vast sums of money, but they're maybe not the most socially adjusted person going in. I don't know. There's a couple guys come to mind. It's sort of like you apply a bunch of money to a situation with a person who's already not really, let's just say great at reading the room. And you can find them doing some things that are pretty cringe. And like that's the sense that I had of the Razzlecon thing was not that she was trying to be like secretively this rapper. She's somebody who just is so disconnected from reality that she thought she was also a good rapper. Like she was somebody who was kind of involved in the world of crypto. So. And again, I just think something happens where because we value money so much in this society and because we think that like, well, if you can make money, you're some kind of special person. You've. You've got a gift, you've earned this money. And then therefore you also are probably good at things like running the elections or the department of efficiency, et cetera. Like, I feel like to me this. And again, I started off talking about how my nerves are on the outside of my body less week. I feel like to some degree this woman, Heather Morgan, both. And she's going to do 18 months in prison, by the way. So I think we can say she pled guilty to some part of this. So I think we can say it's not allegations anymore. It's now been proved or agreed to. But something about her both being like sketchy in the world of crypto and thinking she's a good rapper. It feels like part of an overall mind virus that's going on with a certain kind of crypto person. And it feels like it's. It's. It's part of what's really wrong with this place that we live in right now.

[Listener]

Although could you make the argument I'm going to cast a pretty wide net here and it's going to. It's going to group in some people that some might feel it's unfair to group them in with the crypto crazies, but which is actually the name of my band. It's kind of in the spirit of.

[Luke Burbank]

Both Crypto and crazes are spelled with a K. Exactly.

[Listener]

It's not. It's kind of a side project of the icp. But you know, there's something about wealth. Generally speaking, you know, it doesn't even have to be the crypto stuff. I think of like Paul Allen shredding a guitar because he could pay like classic rock legends.

[Luke Burbank]

I hosted many of those events.

[Listener]

Right, Exactly. And it's. Here's the. Here is. And we haven't even heard the rap yet. But reading this article today, my takeaway was not about cryptocurrency. And it wasn't about the art of hip hop. It was about. And I wasn't even. Even tying it to the. To the confidence that wealth brings, but just confidence, generally speaking. Because in the article was a photo of her dressed up as her rap Persona. Yeah, Razzlecon.

[Luke Burbank]

And you going to Razzlecon this year?

[Listener]

I was, you know, skipped last year.

[Luke Burbank]

Right on the.

[Listener]

Well, last year I went to Dazzlecon. Why would they. Why would they hold them on the same day?

[Luke Burbank]

That's terrible. Counter programming same weekend.

[Listener]

It's so becoming. Because, yeah, when they split apart, like, clearly there's still bad feelings between the two camps. But anyway, I was just sort of thinking, like, even just leaving the wealth side out of it. I admire musicians so much. Right. And anybody who gets on stage and performs and to varying levels of talent and varying levels of success. It's something that I don't really do, with the exception of doing TBTLS with you.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you sang One of the Days of Christmas.

[Listener]

I did almost sing One of the Days of Christmas, sort of. And I didn't even fully commit to that. That's what I mean. And I think one of the reasons why. I mean, aside from the fact that I'm not musically talented or necessarily comedically talented, it's also a lack of confidence. And when I see people who are totally blind to their lack of talent, but can still dress up like an absolute fool and open up a microphone and do something that. Unless I'm missing the joke. And she was doing it because she knows it was bad, which I don't think is the case here, it's like, that is my worst nightmare. And that is what has always kept me from trying certain things. You know what I mean?

[Luke Burbank]

Like, this is the point. The wrong people get confident, right?

[Listener]

Well, maybe I'm the wrong person.

[Luke Burbank]

Wasted on the wrong.

[Listener]

Well, and maybe. Maybe I'm one of the rare people who's kind of like, yeah, I can't rap, and so therefore I'm not going to dress up like Razzlecon or Dazzlecon.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I mean, I want to say this. If. If this person, Heather Morgan, if she just was simply a person who, like, had a dream in her heart of rapping and wasn't particularly great at it, I don't think we'd be taking time out of our busy, busy day to point out how bad she is. I would say that when you throw in the sort of the theft of over $1 billion, that's where I think she becomes sort of fair game. Because I don't you know, like, like you said, I don't want us to be the show where it's like, so we kind of were the show that did that a long time ago. And I regret that, like, of just basically dunking on things because they aren't good. Like if somebody's not hurting anyone and they're just trying their thing, I don't really know what the point of dunking on them is. If someone is like, I'm the baddest bee out there and they're also stealing $1 billion and they're dressing like Razzlecon and they're putting out music like this that I'm about to play for you. I do feel like they move into the category of I think fair game for TBTL to do some gentle roasting of here is from, I believe this song is Versace Bedouin. And the video for this song from Razzle Khan. I also, I just weep for her friends who get roped into this shit because it's all shot on Wall street because she's the self styled crocodile of Wall Street. And here's some of Razzle. I think there are some swears in here, so just be muted. Others cover your children's ears.

[D]

Spirit of a revolutionary power of a dictator Love to be contrary but I'm fly like a gator I've got pilot blood I'm a real risk taker Pirate riding the flood Badass money maker Grandmother crocodile Weirder than an X File brief Fire ship silver so sexy when I slither Sparkle on my little finger Hell of arousal ear to ear Poised to throw a dinger Playing on their worst fear Russell Khan the Versace Better wind Come real far but don't know where I'm heading Crocodile of Wall Street Silver on my fingers and boots on my feet Always be a goat, not a goddamn sheep. Email me your message at the beep. Beep beep beep.

[Luke Burbank]

Just as a case that went by too fast, Always be a goat, not a mother effing sheep. Email me. Leave a message at the beep.

[Listener]

Yeah, does she say fm? F your message at the beep.

[Luke Burbank]

F your message at the beep. I think it's not good.

[Listener]

It's not.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not great.

[Listener]

It's not good. Lyrics that are performed poorly and it's not bad lyrics that are performed well. You know, there's no bad on both. And that's just nothing good.

[Luke Burbank]

Which led me to the next thing, which was I thought, I'm kind of surprised it's this bad in 2024. Because of the technology, because of the production. Yes, because of like all of the things we can do now to the human voice between autotune and stretching out, the pacing and all of it like. And this is a person who is familiar with tech and money and money and people who like, who understand software. Like, it's remarkable that after everything that this went through, it remains this bad. Like, there are so many things that could have fixed this. Which made me wonder, Andrew, what would AI do if I threw in female rapper who calls herself the crocodile of Wall Street? And within five tenths of a second, I had two versions of a song called Crocodile of Wall street that are both. I'm not going to say that they're going to win any Grammys, but they are vastly better than what razzlecon did. This is literally took AI a second to make.

[D]

High heels click. Cold blooded swagger Polio fat or crocodile dagger street in my vein fine N no bragger swim with sharks but they call me master holding size ain't no sweeter markets my swamp I'm the queen City Rita Stocks in my clutch Stronger than cheetah Call me cartwh street repeater here.

[Luke Burbank]

Like I said, not the tightest, like, not the best bars, but better than Razle Khan. And it took one second. I actually think this song number two is actually semide decent.

[D]

Snapping jaws Wall street terror Green scales ghosting under city glare castle thicker teeth in the ledger Brooker boy shiver in my lair higher quick cold blooded flagger portfolio fatter crocodile dagger shooting my veins finance no brag Swimming with sharks but they call me master Cold as ice ain't a sweeter marketer I mean like.

[Luke Burbank]

It'S insane to me. Again, I would not be bumping that song voluntarily in the world, but like the fact that the program wrote that that fast and it's like the market's my swamp. Like it very much figured out the idea of this person being the crocodile of Walmart Street. Also, Andrew, maybe most importantly, I really like the thumbnail that the computer came up with for the Crocodile of Wall Street.

[Listener]

What? It comes up with art too.

[Luke Burbank]

It comes up with art, my dude. I'm going to send this to you if I can get back to. I emailed it to myself. It's actually a pretty cool looking crocodile of Wall street, which I'll.

[Listener]

Yeah, make sure you email that to me and I'll make it the show.

[Luke Burbank]

That's what I thought. I know you're always on lookout for a show picnic, but anyway, point is, Razzle Khan is going to get 18 months in prison over this, and her husband is getting five years. I guess they got light sentences, relatively light sentences, because they cooperated immediately with authorities. I don't know if that means that the bitcoins have been returned or not. I mean, look, I don't want to be. How do I say this? Because I'm just so incredibly not knowledgeable about the world, World of, Of. Of crypto. Still to this day, despite all the conversation around it, I don't really understand it still that, like, it's easy for me and because you really only hear about crypto as it relates to, like, people like this, so it's easy for me to just kind of be like, if I'm being honest, I hate everyone involved. Like, I kind of don't care who they stole a thousand crypto coins from, because I bet you those were also bad people.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But on the other hand, it's like we have friends who do crypto and there are normal people doing it. And, you know, like, there are probably some hardworking, you know, salt of the earth folks who identify crypto as a growing thing and they've put their hard earned money into it. So I don't want to just like, write the whole thing off, but I have to be honest with you, it is hard for me to feel a huge amount of empathy for anyone involved at any level in any of this crypto bullshit.

[Listener]

Put it on the poll, Guillermo. Sure do Salt of the earth people own crypto, because I don't know, I honestly would argue you can.

[Luke Burbank]

We have a friend who I love very much, who's very big in.

[Listener]

I love her to death. Salt of the earth. What does salt of the earth mean? I. Maybe I. Maybe I'm going to rural. Maybe I'm going to literal with my salt.

[Luke Burbank]

You're going to American with your gothic.

[Listener]

Maybe I'm going to American with my gothic. I mean, I don't. I wouldn't even call myself salt of the earth. So maybe, maybe.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, you're right. I wouldn't call either of us salt of. Yeah, I used salt of the earth there, I guess as a way of just saying not a bad person. But you're right. That has a kind of a specific connotation, I guess.

[Listener]

Honestly, though, I say this somewhat, you know, I'm busting your chops a little bit, but I actually don't know. I'm trying to figure out if I'm right because maybe I'm being too literal. I think of when you say salt of the earth, I Think about, Luke, the earth, right? Like, literally, like you're spending. You're spending your day with soil. Sort of like you're picking up soil to test it at least once a day or. Right. But that might not be. What it means is a phrase used by. Oh, well, first of all, salt of the earth is a phrase used by Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount. Did you know that? That's the origin of it? No, but it doesn't really. It's not giving me kind of a literal definition of it, but yeah, so.

[Luke Burbank]

That'S a great question. So are there any people who would both be described as salt of the earth, which, again, we're going with a very rural connotation. Is there anyone out there who's also trading crypto? I would say probably not. Although there are probably a couple of, like, crypto. There are probably a couple of bros, like, who both work in agriculture or rural America, but are also like. For instance, I actually interviewed this guy once for a TV story who runs this, inherited his family operation of a huge, like, agriculture production. Like, they grow onions and asparagus over on the border in Ontario, Oregon, on the border of Oregon, Oregon and Idaho. And so he's a farmer, but he also flies his own plane and has a tick tock feed. So does that mean you're not salt of the earth? I'm sure that guy's dabbling in crypto. He also was the guy who said to me with a straight face, this is during the first Trump administration. I'm with you, Andrew. It hurts to say that first Trump administration. But it was very funny to me that the whole story we went in was like, about how basically Trump had stopped so many people at the border that there was no one to come and pick this, you know, produce of this guy's. In fact, he had gotten on, he had become kind of well known because he had all this asparagus. There was no one to pick it. He just went online and said, if you want free asparagus, come have it because it's going to go bad. And when I talked to him about what the issue was, he thought it wasn't Donald Trump's fault. He thought it had nothing to do with Donald Trump stopping people from crossing the border, the people who would eventually be coming to his farm to pick his asparagus. He did not see the connection between that event and no one there to pick his asparagus. And I didn't realize that was his take until the middle of the interview. I have never been more caught off guard in one of those interviews than that it was such an obvious causality, if you will. There was a cause and an effect, and you could look at the cause and you could see the effect. And this guy chose not to connect those two concepts.

[Listener]

So in that moment, how much do you push back? Because I know you're not really. I mean, this is, I mean, it sounds, some of the stories like, like if you're interviewing a celebrity or something, like I was thinking earlier, like, you better be careful what you say about the guy who writes the SNL cold opens, because I know you're going to get an email like, this afternoon saying you got to go to is Palomino a place? Because I feel like he lives in Palomino.

[Luke Burbank]

He probably lives in palomino. There's roughly 80% chance of that happening before the day is over.

[Listener]

So I know that you want to, I know that you want to be. You don't want everything to be totally fluffy. You want to have, you know, earnest conversations with some, maybe some substance there. But I know also that you're not like 60 minutes in these folks, like, when he's saying something. And this is an important story, you know, this is about, again, literally, you know, kind of global trade and politics and, you know, the person in power who made these decisions. How do you push back there?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I mean, I kind of didn't. And that's sort of, that's, that's my failing because I just, I honestly thought this is a guy who doesn't have anyone to pick his crops at the border right now. There's literally a, an intense stoppage of anyone getting across the border. I foolishly assumed that that was the math he was doing, but because he's a Trump guy, his brain would not let him do that very obvious math. And I again, foolish, foolishly just didn't even think that he. I just didn't even think that there was a world in which he wouldn't see this for obviously what it was. And so I don't think I pushed back as hard as I should have because, for one, this wasn't really a story about his thoughts on immigration. It was a story about, I guess, but, but on the other hand, let me put it this way. If I had it to do over again, I would have handled it differently. If I went in knowing that this was his perspective, I would have, I would have been more ready for that. And I think I would have tried to try to understand how it could be that this is both negatively impacting his Entire business. And yet he's not attributing it to what is very likely the real reason for it and how that's affecting him. I would have pushed back harder and tried to get him to reconcile these two ideas because that would have been maybe an interesting part of the piece. I just was literally caught flat footed.

[Listener]

Yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I couldn't. It's like. It's like you go to do an interview with a guy who makes kites, and then you're like, doesn't that look good against that blue sky? And he goes, I think you mean that polka dot sky. And you're just like, I was not. I didn't even. I didn't even plan on that being part of this conversation, you know? So Anyway, Razzlecon doing 18 months couldn't be happening to a nicer rapper is what I'm saying.

[Andrew Walsh]

Here I go once again with the email.

[Listener]

Every week. I hope that it's from a female.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, man, it's not from a female. All right. Emails and V mail.

[Listener]

Yeah. Actually had a couple of things I want to share with you. I'm going to do a quick little roundup here, if possible. Do you remember? And it's okay if you don't. It went by pretty quickly on the show. Somewhat recently, I mentioned that my father, for some reason that I don't fully understand, when he was a kid, he memorized the words that were in the back of toothpaste. And he always did. And I think they were standard words for any toothpaste. But his always started with Colgate is a decay preventative dentifris or something like that. And I remember him. And it would rattle on from there, all this sort of like kind of jargony language. And he would impress me as a kid. He would, like, rattle that off. He said, yeah, I don't know. I memorized that as a kid. I picture him. This is maybe unfair to my dad. Maybe he doesn't want me describing himself this way. I picture him as a kid on the toilet, probably just looking for something to read and flipping over the tube of toothpaste and just like deciding he was going to memorize it. I have no idea if there's any truth to that at all, but I got a note from Ivy, who's also in Cleveland, and says, another weird Cleveland coincidence. My mom had the dental statement memorized, too. She grew up primarily in Lakewood and is 70 years old around my dad's. It must have been a thing. Maybe they did it for school. Okay, so she says she grew up primarily in Lakewood, and that's where my dad lived there for a while. I lived there with my folks there for a While and is 70, guessing around your dad's age. I asked her if there was any reason she memorized it, and she said no. And then she told me, this crest has been shown to be an effective decay preventive dentifrist that can be of significant value when using a conscientiously applied program of oral hygiene and regular professional care. And that is exactly. That's exactly what my dad had memorized. In fact, I should send that to him and ask him if he remembers why he had it memorized.

[Luke Burbank]

But that had to be a thing going around that region of the country in that era, because that's just too weird of a coincidence.

[Listener]

It is a very, very interesting coincidence. Also, I wanted to. I'm not trying to take a victory lap here, but honestly, after the. After the face plant I did yesterday when our friend Stubborn joined the show, maybe I could. Maybe I could use a little bit of a. Some wind beneath my wings here.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel like this is going to come at my expense. But that's.

[Listener]

No, no, no, no. Certainly not. No, no. This is from Hollywood Mike, who says, actually, the stu bot did hang out with the real Norm Charles. No, Hollywood Hollywood Hollywood Mike says Andrew did indeed remember correctly the scene from Rad with the mattresses on the jump being removed. I don't know if you recall, Luke, but I said, I think in that movie there's a scene where the main character is trying to land a hard jump off of a ramp, and then he meets a girl who's really good at. Again, I never know the word. Is it for, I guess, freestyle biking?

[Luke Burbank]

BMXing.

[Listener]

BMXing. Quite.

[Luke Burbank]

BMX. I don't know what it is.

[Listener]

She's like, you're never going to land the jump if you always have these mattresses down here to protect you. I got a mirable advice. No, it worked. You haven't seen the documentary.

[Luke Burbank]

I just tell people out there who might be training for their own BMX career. I would, I would. I would. I would keep the foam pit for a little bit longer.

[Listener]

At some point, you got to remove the foam because you're never going to land it. And if you want to land it, you got to just land on the asphalt. Anyway. Mike says, I did rem that correctly. And Mike goes on to say, that was one of my favorite movies as a kid because I was very into BMX and freestyle biking, even though I had no skill whatsoever. Oh, Shades of Razzlecon, I would say there just like just going for.

[Luke Burbank]

We're going to play a video of Mike's BMX skills tomorrow and roast it.

[Listener]

Roast it. But here's what I thought was interesting. Mike says, fun fact, the woman who tells the biker to remove the mattresses was played by Lori Loughlin, who would go on to star in Full House Rude but also go on to star in her own drama, scandal. Yeah, right.

[Luke Burbank]

Called. Called going to jail.

[Listener]

Called going to jail for falsifying documents to get her kids into a school.

[Luke Burbank]

Olivia Jade, her daughter with the designer of Mossimo jeans. I believe that's her husband. Okay, that was that look. That whole thing was. That whole thing was ridiculous. It was ridiculous that these wealthy people would go to these lengths to try to get their wealthy kids into these institutions. But also interesting that it was all moms that took the fall. It seems it was Lori Loughlin. It was. It was Felicity Huffman and not William H. Macy.

[Listener]

I was gonna say. Yeah, because I knew that William H. Macy was married to somebody. So he's married to Felicity.

[Luke Burbank]

Felicity Huffman.

[Listener]

Yeah. And he didn't. Yeah. How did he come out on.

[Luke Burbank]

I think the key, I think the takeaway is be less engaged with your children's futures. Parents of both gender, of any gender. Because when the shit goes down, you want to plead ignorance and the only way to do that is to not know much about your kids lives.

[Listener]

Now I be. I have one more voicemail I'm going to play for you here, Luke, but before I do, I want to ask you what was the best thing to come out of that higher ed academic scandal though?

[Luke Burbank]

Do you know the best thing? Was it.

[Listener]

Oh, I'm really putting you on the spot here. This is very much. This is very much like it. A spouse putting another spouse. Because it's personal, it's very personal. What was the best thing? Personal.

[Luke Burbank]

So in other words, this is personal to you.

[Listener]

This is personal to you and me and the world of tbtl. What was the amazing thing that essentially came out of the higher ed scandal of what would that have been? 2018?

[Luke Burbank]

Something like that. Let's see. I'm trying to think of some of the. Did it have anything to do with. So it's. Is it audio that we play on the show?

[Listener]

Nope.

[Luke Burbank]

Is it some kind of imagery where they superimposed a kid's head onto a somebody rowing crew or whatever? Wasn't that part of it? Was these like deeply falsified but not particularly well made, like fakes like you're Very close.

[Listener]

You're very, very close.

[Luke Burbank]

This kid did j. Did you know fencing in high school? But they didn't really.

[Listener]

Okay, so that was. Yes, that was the. That. That was what spurred us to do. Do what?

[Luke Burbank]

To start fencing. You don't remember, by which I mean selling stolen merchandise.

[Listener]

During the show, as you were telling me that dazzling detail of pasting people's heads onto other crew members bodies, I went into Photoshop and I took your high school photo and my high school photo and I posted them.

[Luke Burbank]

Made us tennis players.

[Listener]

Old school black and white tennis players.

[Luke Burbank]

Which then became bobbleheads, then became the.

[Listener]

TV teal bobbleheads that are behind you right now. Which, by the way, last time I was at your place, I put those next to the toilet and had them staring at you while you were going to the bathroom. I see that. You look at that. Move them. Yes, they're right there. The bobbleheads. Love it. Yes. Those were the result of me during this show.

[Luke Burbank]

We have Lori Laughlin of the movie Rad to thank for this.

[Listener]

We Laughlin'd it. All right. So anyway, one more thing here on a totally different topic. I just thought this was really, really interesting. This is from listener Dennis. You mentioned the Detroit Pistons, the NBA team out of that area, the bad BO And I'm somebody who, like, I don't follow the NBA. So every now and then when you mention a team, I'm like, oh, yeah, that's such a cool name for a team. Like the Pelicans you mentioned the other day. I forgot that they exist.

[Luke Burbank]

They were formerly the Jazz, and then they moved to Utah, home of Jazz.

[Listener]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

And they remain the Utah Jazz.

[Listener]

I see. Wait, so the Pelicans don't exist anymore?

[Luke Burbank]

The Peloton. The Pelicans do. Oh, okay, I'm going to. This is now, unfortunately, we've now stumbled into a hobby horse of mine, which is cities that have had multiple failed NBA teams. And then a city called Seattle that just had one failed NBA team. So, for instance, the New Orleans Jazz left New Orleans years ago and became the Utah Jazz. And then New Orleans got another team.

[Listener]

Oh, okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Pelicans.

[Listener]

That makes sense. Okay, I didn't know they got a new team.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, well, they got this team called the Hornets. They got the Charlotte Hornets. The Charlotte Hornets left and became New Orleans. Oh, if I. If I believe I have that right. And then the Charlotte got the Bobcats. So Charlotte got two teams that they couldn't handle. New Orleans got two teams. Seattle only got one team.

[Listener]

Wait, Charlotte Hornets. Don't exist anymore.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't believe or I think they're the Charlotte Bobcats now. Are they back? Are they back to being the Hornets?

[Listener]

There's something called the Charlotte Hornets who are playing the Brooklyn Nets today. But I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

That would be the Hornets.

[Listener]

Is that they.

[Luke Burbank]

When were they the Charlotte. Okay, so did they change their name back to the Hornets?

[Listener]

Maybe I'm Charlotte Hornets as we speak because they were.

[Luke Burbank]

There was a Bobcats team there for a minute. I know because like Adam Morrison was on that team for a minute. I think, I think they lost the Bobcats and then they. They. Yeah. So let's see what is the history? Sorry, I can hear.

[Listener]

I found a graph here. I'll.

[Luke Burbank]

Who's in Charlotte?

[Listener]

I'll read it and you jump in. But it just says here because I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. But it says as part of an agreement with the NBA, a new team known as the Charlotte Bobcats began competing in the 20 in the 2004 NBA season. In 20 in 2006, Michael Jordan acquired a minority stake in the franchise.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, here's, here's the Bobcats era from Wikipedia. Shortly after the relocation of the team to New Orleans. So the Hornets left to New Orleans as part of a deal with the city of Charlotte as well as to avoid a Cleveland Browns like lawsuit. The NBA open itself up to the possibility of adding a replacement team in Charlotte for the 2004, 2005 season so that an arena deal could be reached. That team was the Bobcats. So they lost the Hornets Hornets go to New Orleans, they become the Bobcats. And then the Bobcats had their expansion draft 2004, blah blah blah, the Bobcats da da da front office. And then the Bobcats reached an agreement to. Sorry, I'm going very quickly here.

[Listener]

I'm trying to figure out because I'm trying to read along.

[Luke Burbank]

2014 is the final years of the Bobcats. Okay, The Bobcats, like there was a lockout season in 2011. 2012. Let's see. The Bobcats. God, somebody wrote way too much about the history of the. Of the Bobcats. On May 2013, Michael Jordan announced the organization had submitted an application to change the name of the franchise to the Charlotte Horn Hornets. So that was a really boring way of saying what I kind of suspected, which was the Hornets left, they went to New Orleans, they then the Charlotte got another team pretty much right away called the Bobcats. And then after a decade they decided they wanted to be called the Hornets again. So now they're back to being called the Horn.

[Listener]

Okay. Yeah, that. Because I always hear. I mean, I feel like I've heard the Charlotte Hornets as a name and that. I think that's a good name too. And again, these all good name. They all seem fresh and fun to me because I don't really like, kind of hear about basketball all that much. I mean, a little bit from just listening to sports radio, it trickles in, but I don't have a lot of context for all that stuff. All of that is to say we're going to get more into talk about teams changing their names and moving around a little bit. Here we were talking about the Detroit Pistons. I was like, what a great name, especially for Detroit. The Detroit Pistons. It's such a, such a good, like auto industry rust belt y kind of name. And, and Dennis swoops in with these dazzling deeds.

[E]

Hey, dummies, this is listener Corey from Cambridge. I was just listening to you talking.

[Listener]

Why do you think I called that Dennis if his name is Corey?

[Luke Burbank]

I'm not sure. That was surprising to me.

[Listener]

Does he sound like a dentist? I have literally no idea why I would have slugged this as Dennis other.

[Luke Burbank]

Than maybe one time Boston Celtic Dennis Johnson.

[Listener]

That's exactly it. Thank you. Anyway, take it away, Dennis.

[E]

Hey, dummies, this is listener Corey from Cambridge. I was just listening to you talking about the Detroit Pistons and how their name is so fitting given that they're in Detroit. They actually were started in Fort Wayne, Indiana, and they were first like a company basketball team from this company called the Zollner Piston Company. They were called the Zollner Pistons for while. Or maybe the company was called Zollner Foundry. Anyway, they were called the Zollner Pistons for a while and the company made pistons for cars and trucks and stuff. And then when the original leagues that became the NBA started, they played as the Fort Wayne Indiana Pistons and then eventually realized Fort Wayne was too small and they moved to Detroit and they decided to keep the name because a set in Detroit.

[Listener]

So there you go.

[E]

Power out.

[Listener]

I like it even more now. Absolutely. Like, I love that it was a company team, but also just the, the thing is, there's a lot of different car parts that you could name a team after. Right. Like the, the. The. Whether you want to go with CV joints. The CV joints. The, the carburetors. You know, like there's.

[Luke Burbank]

It's so lucky this company made pistons.

[Listener]

Yeah, but pistons, like, there's so much action there, you know, you're jumping up and down.

[Luke Burbank]

It Literally drives the ent.

[Listener]

Drive the entire situation and what. You know, I don't know a lot about basketball, but here's what I think basketball players do. They jump up and down and up and down, and they're just. They alternate explosively, and they alternate and they set off.

[Luke Burbank]

They have small bursts of mystified gasoline under their feet.

[Listener]

They sort of have little explosions, which is why they were banned from Seattle, because they were causing too much damage. But anyway, I just love the name the Detroit Pistons, and I love that backstory on how they came to be. So thank you, Dennis. And I don't know why you're going with the nom de plume Corey, but I'll call you Corey for the sake of.

[Luke Burbank]

It could have been like the Fort Wayne. The Fort Wayne visor. What do you call the thing that, like.

[Listener]

Yeah, right.

[Luke Burbank]

I think try to keep the sun out of your eyes.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, I'm trying to think of the least. What's the least cool thing on a car that you could make?

[Listener]

Floor mats.

[Luke Burbank]

The Fort Wayne floor mat.

[Listener]

There is a little bit of quasi alliteration there. That isn't too bad.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that'd be great. They would not see you coming, too. I mean, that's an interesting kind of. You might really get in their head because.

[Listener]

Yeah, right.

[Luke Burbank]

You just, like, go in and they're like, well, we don't have to. They're all getting drunk the night before. Yeah. You're just like, oh, what are we doing tomorrow? Oh, we're playing the floor mat.

[Listener]

Well, you know, this might get a trap game, guys. The more I think about it, this could be a trap game.

[Luke Burbank]

All right. Well, that was a fun show. He said with some surprise. I don't know what's going on with that, but, hey, tomorrow, Andrew, can I tell you the story of Keith Lee and the bewormed Sushi in Seattle? Do any of those words I just said to you mean anything?

[Listener]

I mean, bewormed is a new one for me.

[Luke Burbank]

I believe it's new one to the English language, but I.

[Listener]

No, I'm not familiar with that joint. And this is not a story I know about, but ew.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a very wild story that involves.

[Listener]

Yikes.

[Luke Burbank]

The world we live in. It's not political. That's the good news. But it involves, like, the Internet and food reviews and Seattle and a whole lot of other stuff. So we'll talk about that tomorrow on the program. In the meantime, it's going to do it for today's show. Thank you very much for listening. We'll be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you. In the meantime, have a great Tuesday. Take care of yourself. Watch out for bomb Cyclones.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And please remember, no mountain. Too tall.

[Listener]

Angulux. All.

[D]

You know, you're letting your body turn your head.

[Luke Burbank]

See, if you let your head lead, your body will just follow naturally. Really? And besides, if you do make it and those mattresses are there, they're just going to cause you to wipe out.

[Listener]

What are you nuts?

[Luke Burbank]

No guts, no glory. Luke, take the mattresses out.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's your butt, pal.

[Listener]

What's left of it. Power out.