#4351 Flock My Life

Summary

Podcast Summary: TBTL Episode #4351 "Flock My Life"

Overview

In episode #4351 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live, released on December 4, 2024, hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh delve into a variety of topics ranging from personal anecdotes about birthdays and health issues to discussions about music, upcoming interviews, and quirky observations about neighborhood traffic signs. True to TBTL’s style, the episode blends humor with heartfelt conversations, providing listeners with both entertainment and genuine insights.

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1. Opening Banter and Bootleg Simpsons Merchandise [00:00 – 01:00]

The episode kicks off with Luke and Andrew humorously debating the mispronunciation of "Scamp," a character from The Simpsons, intertwining it with the word "ska" to create playful wordplay.

• Luke Burbank [00:00]: "Your Honor, this guy has been making bootleg Simpsons merchandise. Bart Scampson. He is quite a scam. Scompson. Ska."

• Andrew Walsh [00:16]: "And you don't know the word ska. Welcome to America, friend."

This light-hearted exchange sets the tone for the episode, showcasing the hosts' chemistry and penchant for witty dialogue.

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2. December Reflections and Show History [01:00 – 12:00]

Luke expresses surprise at how quickly December has arrived, leading into a nostalgic discussion about TBTL's early days. He reminisces about their initial run on radio, the challenges they faced with programming changes, and how their contract was unexpectedly cut short in September 2020.

• Luke Burbank [01:36]: "We've had a couple of gorgeous afternoons, which is always a welcome thing here in December."

• Andrew Walsh [11:16]: "Wait, I thought you started in 2008... So this is... Yeah, this."

The conversation highlights the perseverance required to sustain the podcast and the personal experiences that have shaped its journey.

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3. Andrew’s Thanksgiving Birthday Struggles [02:00 – 10:00]

A significant portion of the episode centers on Andrew’s personal struggle with his birthday consistently falling on Thanksgiving. He shares his discomfort with being celebrated and his preference for invisibility on his special day.

• Andrew Walsh [05:01]: "November 27th."

• Andrew Walsh [07:04]: "It's my birthday, can't I choose? Why am I..."

• Andrew Walsh [08:28]: "There's a dichotomy between people who say, it's your birthday, you can do whatever you want, but that's not true."

Andrew reflects on his childhood memories where his birthday coincided with Thanksgiving, leading to less-than-ideal celebrations, such as having his cake shaped like a turkey and sitting outside in a turkey coop. This has contributed to his current aversion to celebrating birthdays openly.

• Andrew Walsh [09:40]: "They made me sit outside in a turkey coop with a cake that was made in the shape of a turkey."

He also touches upon the irregularity of his birthday falling on Thanksgiving, discussing leap years and the randomness of calendar dates.

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4. Medical Issues and Antibiotic Struggles [12:00 – 20:00]

The hosts transition to discussing Luke’s ongoing eye infection, detailing his challenging experiences with the healthcare system and the impact of antibiotics on his daily life.

• Luke Burbank [15:33]: "I had a different doctor this time, who was a great advocate for me."

• Luke Burbank [20:24]: "I'm on an antibiotic that is supposed to potentially work on things that are antibiotic proof."

Luke narrates his interactions with the eye specialist, the difficulties in getting timely appointments, and the side effects of the new antibiotic regimen that leaves him feeling "loopy."

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5. Technical Glitches and Show Recording Insights [20:00 – 30:00]

Andrew and Luke discuss the unusual reversal of their video feed during the show recordings, pondering whether the glitch is affecting their presentation.

• Andrew Walsh [21:09]: "Do you have the video on your screen right now. Can you see me?"

• Luke Burbank [21:42]: "We look exactly normal."

They explore the technical aspects of their recording setup, including the use of video technology and issues like video orientation, blending humor with technical troubleshooting.

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6. Upcoming Interviews and Music Discussions [30:00 – 50:00]

The conversation shifts to upcoming interviews, notably with Lars Ulrich from Metallica. They discuss his band's anti-piracy efforts in the early 2000s, touching upon the broader themes of music and intellectual property.

• Andrew Walsh [25:08]: "You have managed to shore things up in the music department, when will you be expanding to the illegal football streaming?"

Additionally, Andrew shares his evolving taste in jazz music, mentioning albums like Money Jungle, Herb Ellis, and Sonny Rollins, and his desire to visit iconic jazz venues like the Village Vanguard.

• Andrew Walsh [29:15]: "I have a friend who's watching football on an illegal Internet stream. What should I do?"

Luke adds his appreciation for live jazz experiences, highlighting the differences between recorded and live performances.

• Luke Burbank [34:05]: "I love listening to jazz in the live environment and I don't care how weird ass it gets."

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7. The Rick the Cat Phlebotomist Story [50:00 – 58:00]

A humorous and imaginative story unfolds as Andrew recounts his stressful experiences with a phlebotomist named Rick, who is revealed to be a grumpy orange cat. This creative twist adds a layer of surreal humor to the episode.

• Andrew Walsh [57:35]: "Laser pointer?"

• Luke Burbank [57:38]: "I just figured it out. Rick is a cat. Is that the problem?"

The narrative details Andrew’s attempts to avoid Rick, his interactions with friendly staff who help him navigate the ordeal, and the humorous realization that Rick is, in fact, a cat.

• Andrew Walsh [58:08]: "Can I start over?"

• Luke Burbank [58:15]: "If your phlebotomist is a cat, you need to give that information to the listener early on..."

This segment exemplifies TBTL’s ability to blend real-life frustrations with whimsical storytelling.

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8. Neighborhood Traffic Signs and Puns [58:00 – 73:00]

Luke and Andrew engage in a comedic debate over the effectiveness and logic of neighborhood traffic signs, specifically those that employ puns like "Slow the flock down."

• Andrew Walsh [68:22]: "Slow down. Drive like you live here."

• Luke Burbank [69:27]: "Flock sounds a lot like the real F word."

They critique the use of puns in promoting safe driving, discussing how such signs often lack logical consistency and can be more confusing than helpful.

• Andrew Walsh [69:45]: "There's no reason, like, flock and bird. Like, other than, like you said, they just stop thinking."

This conversation highlights the hosts' shared sense of humor and their ability to find amusement in everyday observations.

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9. Listener Donations and Community Shoutouts [27:35 – 38:00]

The episode features acknowledgments of generous listeners who support TBTL financially, fostering a sense of community and appreciation.

• Andrew Walsh [27:58]: "Sarah and Phil Roylence of Seattle, Washington."

• Luke Burbank [28:02]: "Thank you, Kathy. Thanks to Nicole Spahich of Worcester, Ohio."

These segments serve to recognize and thank the listeners who enable the show’s continued production.

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10. Listener Email and Seinfeld Comedy Reflection [58:00 – 66:00]

Andrew reads an email from a listener named Kelly, connecting a discussion about childhood expressions like "wait up" to a Seinfeld comedy bit. This reflection prompts further analysis of comedy styles and influences.

• Andrew Walsh [60:45]: "Here's Jerry Seinfeld ripping off my joke."

• Luke Burbank [66:05]: "If your phlebotomist is a cat, you need to give that information to the listener early on so they can understand the contours of the story."

They delve into the mechanics of Jerry Seinfeld’s humor, comparing it to their own comedic approaches and pondering the originality of jokes.

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11. Wrap-Up and Upcoming Plans [73:00 – 74:44]

As the episode nears its end, Luke and Andrew discuss their plans for the near future, including Luke’s trip to Los Angeles and potential meet-ups at venues like the Village Vanguard.

• Luke Burbank [73:44]: "Flock my life, man."

• Andrew Walsh [74:44]: "And good luck to all. Power out."

They sign off with well wishes to their listeners, maintaining the episode’s blend of humor and personal connection.

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Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Walsh [07:04]: "It's my birthday, can't I choose? Why am I..."

• Luke Burbank [20:24]: "I'm on an antibiotic that is supposed to potentially work on things that are antibiotic proof."

• Andrew Walsh [50:32]: "He's wearing them as earrings."

• Andrew Walsh [69:19]: "Like, I've been learning the dance. And she's like trying to do the dance."

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Conclusion

Episode #4351 "Flock My Life" of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live masterfully interweaves personal stories, health anecdotes, music discussions, and humorous observations, all while maintaining the hosts' signature camaraderie. Whether tackling the discomfort of an often-overlapping birthday, navigating medical frustrations, or playfully critiquing neighborhood signs, Luke and Andrew offer listeners a relatable and entertaining experience. Their ability to pivot between serious topics and light-hearted banter ensures that both longtime fans and new listeners find value and enjoyment in every episode.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

Your Honor, this guy has been making bootleg Simpsons merchandise. Bart Scampson. He is quite a scam. Scompson.

[Andrew Walsh]

Bart.

[Luke Burbank]

Scompson. Ska.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like the music.

[Luke Burbank]

Ska. Ska.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sca. Get, get, get him.

[Luke Burbank]

Get, get, get em. Get em. You know, ska. I just thought with Scamp misspelled. You don't know ska. In all your education, you've got to go to law school and everything and judge school or whatever it is you go to.

[Andrew Walsh]

And you don't know the word ska. Welcome to America, friend.

[Luke Burbank]

I do not have a problem in general with bootleg simp merchandise, but this is the worst pun ever. It's a thinker.

[Andrew Walsh]

You gotta think about it. TBTL.

[Luke Burbank]

For the next little while, it's going to be you and me together, alone. I want you to lock the door and turn the phone off and really concentrate on what we're going to do. Who do you see when you look in the mirror?

[Andrew Walsh]

Daffy Duck. I have a picture of him taped to my mirror.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, what do you see next to Daffy Duck? Brian Gosling.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hey, Lloyd, do some delivery for the.

[Luke Burbank]

Truck to the airport. I'm sorry, but when I hear an.

[Andrew Walsh]

Undisclosed, it makes my ears want to throw up.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, your ears are always throwing up about something. We'll walk that fine line between cutting edge irreverence and trouble with the Federal Communications Commission. Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Wednesday edition of tbtl. The show just might be too beautiful to live. Gotta do it again right now. My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host. Yeah, everyone's got a podcast coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia, where absolutely spectacular today. Oh, Ma.

[Andrew Walsh]

Pa.

[Luke Burbank]

It's just beautiful. We've had a couple of gorgeous afternoons, which is always a welcome thing here in December. I also cannot believe it is already December. I mean, we're dealing with a fixed. Oh, no. Why am I starting this this early? I was gonna say we're dealing with a fixed number of days in the year, right? It's 365 days. Although on leap year. Is it. Is it 366 on leap year, do we have. I'm 48. I should know this. Do we get. Because on leap day, we get an extra day. I mean, we're all familiar with leap Day, William. So that means sometimes it's 366 days. My point is, there is something about December 1st falling on the Sunday after Thanksgiving, which seems early to me for it to be decided, that's got me Just completely discombobulated. You can already tell here on episode 4351 in a collector series.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let the fun begin.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe my discombobulation is because of all the antibiotics that I'm on. A new course of antibiotics they put me on. That's what's so fun, as a listener of a podcast co hosted by two guys in their pretty late 40s, is that we tend to get a lot of medical issues. I get dizzy spells, nausea, cold sweats, hot sweats, involuntary trembling, dead hands, numb lips, fingernail sensitivity, pelvic discomfort. And we will be discussing all of them in excruciating detail today, me and Andrew. Plus, there is some actual news out there. We were trying to talk about it yesterday, got lots of news and we didn't get to it. I don't know if we're gonna get to it today. Can we all be honest? The news is a little overrated in this life. What you need to hear about is my eye infection. Oh, and you also need to hear from this guy, longest running cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He's here to bring one thing to.

[Andrew Walsh]

The program, intelligence for your life.

[Luke Burbank]

He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning, Luke. This. Let's talk about years, let's talk about dates, let's talk about.

[Luke Burbank]

What is the story on that. Do we have 366 every four years?

[Andrew Walsh]

I think so, yeah. I mean, we have an extra day there, February 29, so 366. But here's what I find interesting. Although in, well, I was going to say inexplicable, but that's not true. There's a way to explain this. I just didn't read the details, sir. This is highly split. Explicable. I just didn't read it, so I won't be splitting it. But I mentioned on the show last week that my birthday will fall directly on Thanksgiving next year. And I didn't say that because I want everybody to send me gifts. I just noted it and I said, you know, it seems like growing up, my birthday fell on Thanksgiving a lot more than it falls on Thanksgiving as an adult. But obviously I said that can't be true. Like, except for the leap year thing, it seems like there are seven days in a week. So it seems like every seven years or so my birthday would fall on Thanksgiving. But it is not that simple. And I don't know how much the leap years have to do with this but our friend Phyllis P. Fletch Fletcher looked this up and sent me a chart. I don't know if you were copied on this one that says all of the years that my birthday. November 27th, fall. Did you hear me stutter there? I used to not tell my birthday, and I actually, for a split second, my brain wanted to protect that date. But I will say it. November 27th.

[Luke Burbank]

I want to say that you have definitely chilled out around that a lot, or you've just kind of relaxed that policy. And I appreciate that. I think that's healthy for you, I don't think. You don't have to be obsessed with your birthday. You don't have to be like, it's my birthday month. But also, there was a period of time where you were protecting your actual birthdate the way someone would protect their password for their bank account.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I have mixed emotions about. I mean, the thing is, it got too difficult to do, and it felt like. It felt obnoxious, and it felt like an affectation.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, that's how I took it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Having said that, I don't like a million people telling me Happy birthday. I really. I was pretty grumpy this birthday, and I don't. And it's.

[Luke Burbank]

Sorry. I started the show by saying. I think I said hbd, though. Does that make it better?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh. Oh, I'm the. No, that's fine. Like. And it's such a terrible thing to do. So many. It's such a terrible thing to say. So many tens reached out and texted happy birthday. And it always comes from a very nice place, But I don't know what it is. Like, I just want that. It's like, I had my platonic idea. I always wanted that day to be, like, totally just my birthday, to be totally invisible on that date. That was always my goal. And then I got that. When I first moved to Los Angeles, I moved down there a few days before my birthday. Nobody knew me, literally. I think maybe my mom called me. And aside from that, it was like, nobody knew it was my birthday. And I kind of liked that. I just navigated the world normally. But then as we talked about my birthday more and more on the show, I started to feel guilty trying to protect the date so much. And it just seemed, like I said, somewhat obnoxious. But I kind of missed the old days when it was. When nobody knew what my birthday was. I just found myself sort of grumpy all day and not. And just like, okay, all right. Like, it's. I don't know. Here's one thing that I've noticed, and this is, this doesn't have to do with somebody just saying happy birthday to you. But generally speaking, like, I've had birthdays in the recent past where I felt like, okay, you say, this is my birthday. I can do whatever I want on my birthday. And what I want to do is avoid people. And just this one birthday, I went on a long walk and it was just kind of like. Then I found out that there were people who were disappointed that I didn't spend more time with them on my birthday.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm like, but this happened in your life?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, somewhat recently. I'm just like, if the whole thing is, it's my birthday, can't I choose? Why am I.

[Luke Burbank]

It's after 9pm we can say whatever we want.

[Andrew Walsh]

Why are people put off that I'm not spending my birthday with them so that. You know what I mean? I don't like to be celebrated. I don't like, even if it's. Even if it's like super, super to other people, what would seem subtle or it's just like, to me, I don't like awkward moments where I got to sit around and be like, yes, hi, it's my birthday. Thank you.

[Luke Burbank]

So is it the responding that was kind of my question is, if somebody fires you, a text like, hey, happy birthday, dude, is it that you then have to say, thanks and that feels forced to you? Is that the part of it that. That is kind of uncomfortable?

[Andrew Walsh]

Text message. I don't think I returned any text messages. Honestly. Yeah, I don't think I did. I don't know. Especially in person, I think it makes me uncomfortable. And I don't mean like a quick, hey, happy birthday. I just sort of mean that, like, there's this dichotomy between people who say, it's your birthday, you can do whatever you want, but that's not true. What you need to do is be the birthday monkey for other people. I sort of feel like now most people don't put that on me in like a birthday, happy birthday, monkey way. But, like, I just. There seems to be this huge disconnect between what people say they want for your birthday. But it sort of feels like my birthday is more for other people and that's not how the other people feel. And I understand that, but it's just. I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

So the idea is like, it's your birthday, you can do whatever you want. But most people assume that, and it's.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, yeah, you know what I want to do? I Want to not be here right now. But then that's not a proper answer. Because that's mean to other people.

[Luke Burbank]

Because most people assume it's going down a slide into a giant ice cream sundae pit with your friends are already bobbing in.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

That's like anything you want. But you're like, I would just like. I would just like to disappear if I can, on this day, if possible.

[Andrew Walsh]

Anyway, all of that is to say, math. How does it work? Nobody knows. Because back in when I was a youth, according to these charts that Phyllis sent, my birthday did fall on Thanksgiving both in 19. Remember, I was born in 1976. So 1980, when I was just 4 years old or whatever that is 1980. And then it happened again in 1986. Like, you know, that was the year you had.

[Luke Burbank]

They made your whole birthday cake out of turkey.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right. And that was. I think that might have been the beginning, actually.

[Luke Burbank]

And I think that kind of disappointment and confusion really started this kind of anti birthday thing for you.

[Andrew Walsh]

They made me sit outside in a turkey coop with a cake that was made in the shape of a turkey. Honestly, I think that my issues are deeper than just birthday related.

[Luke Burbank]

You'd give turkey coops about a B. I guess.

[Andrew Walsh]

I guess I give turkey coops about a bee. And then we skipped 10 years. So there it was. It was like six years past.

[Luke Burbank]

That is weird how irregular it is.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And I feel like a 10. Let's see. In 1986, was I turning 9 or 10? If I was born in 76, I guess I was turning 10. Right. I'm so bad at doing that. But anyway, that's a pretty significant birthday. That's like the prime age for like celebrating birthdays or whatever. So I could understand why that would stand out in my head as being like, my birthday is on Thanksgiving. Then we have to skip 10 years to 1997. I'm out of high school at this point. I'm in college. I'm probably starting my new tradition of not telling anybody it's my birthday. Then it was 2003, 2008. Now there's just five. Like, what is the. It seems so random.

[Luke Burbank]

Then 24 TBTL is a mere in 2008. Wait, November, I guess. TBTL is a couple months away from being canceled.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wait, I thought you. When did you start again?

[Luke Burbank]

You started in 2008.

[Andrew Walsh]

You started in January of 2008. January. Yeah. Right. So this is. Yeah, this.

[Luke Burbank]

So now we've almost got a year under our belt. We're cruising along. Nothing can hurt Us until Rod Arquette calls us into his office to explain some programming changes.

[Andrew Walsh]

And those programming changes, where they were just going to rearrange the schedule a little bit in such a way that.

[Luke Burbank]

TBTL was no longer part of.

[Andrew Walsh]

Was that spring of 2009. Like, did you make it more than a year on the radio?

[Luke Burbank]

We made it more than a year. I want to say we made it into the spring. I think.

[Andrew Walsh]

I feel that. That. That's. That's what my bones tell me.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, it was definitely not two years, which was the contract.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, you had a contract? Oh, interesting.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I had. In fact, you know what? It might have been longer than the spring, maybe cut to. I don't. I don't. You know, who can. Who can remember? It's probably on the Wikipedia page. But, like, what I know is that when they fired us, they still had to pay me for a while because I had a contract with them. And that was great because that was how I was able to keep doing TBTL in the very, very early days. Like, literally the Monday after we got fired, it was only because I still had my income. And so I figured I'll just do this for the 90 days that they have to pay me out. Actually, that was the contract. They didn't have to pay me all two years, but they had to pay me for 90 days after firing me, which I have no idea why they agreed to put that in the contract. It makes no sense.

[Andrew Walsh]

You did make it well past the spring. You were pretty close to two years. Not quite. Maybe. Maybe a year and three quarters because you made it to 9-11-20, which is a pretty insensitive date to be fired.

[Luke Burbank]

Day that will live in infamy.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

Finally, a reason to remember 9, 11.

[Andrew Walsh]

Not to just, like, awkwardly quote other podcasts on this show, but I just want to give some credit for that. I was just telling some friends this weekend that one of my favorite jokes from Comedy Bang Bang wasn't even so much a joke or a riff. It was just Scott Aukerman, the host, asking some guest either when their birthday was or maybe when their kid was born. And they said September 11th. And he said, that's kind of insensitive. And the conversation just moved on. And I think about that.

[Luke Burbank]

That's pretty great.

[Andrew Walsh]

Kind of insensitive, don't you think? And then I think about that all the time. So that's pretty. Anyway, I. Apparently I have some more Thanksgiving birthdays in the future. Both. Well, now that's a problem for you.

[Luke Burbank]

Next year, though. Because if your greatest birthday wish is to be invisible and to just be basically kind of out of the. Out of the mix and out of the general population, Thanksgiving is a terrible day for that. Now, on the plus side, there's a lot going on.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, it takes a lot of attention off of you.

[Luke Burbank]

Sure. So that's the plus side. But the idea of you just kind of going out and sitting on a craggy outcropping looking at the. As the ocean, you know, breaks against how I'm in a cable knit sweater, when will my husband return from sea? That's how I imagined you would like to spend your birthday. Like that was that. What was that meme? I think it was like a dog that looked very much like a kind of wizened New England fish wife.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's the meme. That's actually not even the right description. Isn't that the meme? That's the meme that got you into a little bit of, well, trouble is too strong of a word. But remember, it was you. You posted some version of. Why am I bringing this up? What a weird way to start the show today. We have so much to talk about. But remember, I always associate that meme with the birth of the. How did you refer to somebody? And now it's a tagline for a certain section of our audience. Middle aged.

[Luke Burbank]

How's your podcast?

[Andrew Walsh]

Middle aged mom type. You had posted a version of that meme that was a joke, like whatever, you know, like whatever your iteration of that was. And then somebody posted a comment on it that was missing the point. Not getting the joke, maybe critical in some way. I don't remember. And in your description of this on the show, you describe that person based on, like, their profile as a middle aged mom type. I cannot separate those two realities out. So when I think about that meme.

[Luke Burbank]

That'S the origin of that.

[Andrew Walsh]

I pretty sure, like, sometimes I say these things and then, you know, maybe I'm getting some of the detail. Details wrong, but I'm pretty sure that was it.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, well, I mean, honestly, I'm. I'm happy for it. God bless the broken road that brought us to that terminology because even though it damaged my personal brand deeply, it. It created more lore for the show and more ways that some of our listeners can describe themselves as a shorthand. They've taken the power back on that, on that, you know, way of describing someone.

[Andrew Walsh]

And the cool thing is like, you and I still remain very young and hip and with it. So how did it with the doctors? Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Would. I mean, honestly, would an old person be on yet another course of antibiotics? Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

What's going on with your damn eye, old man?

[Luke Burbank]

I. It's. It is. Again, I want to be. I want to preface this by saying I've been very, very privileged in my life that I have had pretty good health, and I. I'm thankful for that. It's interesting to be. I can't remember the last time I went to the doctor. Two times in six days.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what I mean? I went from not going to the doctor for probably two, three years to being like, oh, I know exactly what waiting room I'm going for at the Kaiser Permanente facility that I'm now, like. I know all the ins and outs of. But I went down, and I had a different doctor this time, which was actually kind of fine because I love this doctor so much. She was very, very. She was a great advocate for me. Like, she came in, she took. She, like, came and took a look. She was like, oh, yeah, yeah, that's not getting better. All right, let me try to. Let's see what we're doing here. And she starts, like, basically DMing the eye specialist who's just down the hall. So it turns out there's, like, there's a bunch of things going on at this medical center, Right. It's not a hospital, per se, but it's like. So I'm just getting a checkup or I'm getting a whatever. But then down the hall, there is a whole eye center where it's like, the appointments are maybe a few weeks out. But she's like, I love this system, because if he sees this message, he can't pretend he didn't see the message. She's telling me all this. She's got the screen like. Like, swiveled around so that I can see it. So she's totally doing, like, he's. You know, he's got her on red receipts. She's like, I'll know if he gets on there.

[Andrew Walsh]

She's actually acknowledging that red receipt.

[Luke Burbank]

She's telling me all of this. She's like, hilarious. She goes, okay, call. So, like, basically, like, the last time that I went in, they said, take some antibiotics. We'll see what happens. And I guess that they had recommended me to go to the eye person, you know, who. If. You know, who could potentially, like, you know, cut this thing out or drain it or do something else. But it was not listed in the system as urgent, so she wanted me to call them. And then she was going to tell Them we're putting this on, like, stat. We're going to. You know. And she actually used the term stat. And I was like, I've watched er. I know exactly what that means. So she has me call the, like, 1-800-number while she's sitting there with me, and I get this person. And they were actually kind of unhelpful. I mean, eventually we got there, but they were a little suspicious, which is weird, because I have to be honest, every other interaction I've had with KP phone people has been great. Like, it's a very helpful group of folks. And when I hang up, she's like, basically, why are they so rude? I hate that. That's why I have people call with me in here, so I can tell them what to say. Like, she was so Team Burbank, and she was basically.

[Andrew Walsh]

You were calling a place that's basically in the same building. You were just calling a different.

[Luke Burbank]

I was calling, like, the 1, 800 number to try to get them to schedule me. Not I wasn't calling the same building, but I was trying to get on the schedule for an eye person to look at this thing and potentially do some kind of. More like a surgical remedy to it. I asked her if she could do that. She said, you don't want me doing that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is this a general practitioner or is this. Okay, gotcha. I didn't realize that.

[Luke Burbank]

And. And she was just like.

[Andrew Walsh]

She was a hoot, though.

[Luke Burbank]

So she was like. She's. She's like, let me take a picture. And then she's, like, sending it to the. So now the eye guy who's in the building has, like, started responding, but you can tell that he kind of doesn't really want to deal with, like, what she's trying to do is, like, slide me in. Like, just be like, hey, do you have, like, 10 minutes? You could come do a minor eye surgery or whatever. So she's like, yeah, sometimes I'll do this move where, like, there's a specialist and they're busy, but then I'll, like, take. I'll be like, I'll take your noon and your 12:30 off your hands so you can just, like, help this person out. Like, she's just. Just. She's just, like, totally playing the angles, and she's like. And she's, like, hyping it up. She's like, I'm writing in all caps. It's not getting better to this. Because he's going, does he have a fever? Does he have vision problems? Does he have mrsa?

[Andrew Walsh]

No.

[Luke Burbank]

And. And she's like. And she's kind of disappointed. She's like, you don't have a fever, do you? I was like, no. She goes, you having vision problems? I'm like, no. She goes, okay. Because basically, like, the decision and it makes sense is like, but if someone's. I'm not in medical distress over this. I'm just in. My vanity is the only thing that's really hurt by this whole thing. And so I really shouldn't be jumping the line over people that are in real medical need or having, you know, extreme vision problems. So she's trying to. But she's trying to also, like, make the case for me. And then eventually, unfortunately, the eye guy was unpersuaded. But what I was able to do is get an appointment for Friday afternoon to see the actual eye person. And I don't know what that means. I don't know if, like, they're just going to look at it and then say, come back in two weeks and if it's not better, then we'll, you know, do some kind of intervention with it. What? What? The recommendation from the other doc, the eye guy who didn't want to see me was to just put me on a different antibiotic for some. He's like. I kept trying to understand, well, what is this antibiotic? And she said, it's for things that are antibiotic proof. I was like, oh, okay. Well, then I guess they're not by definition, if this antibiotic works on them. But so anyway, that's kind of where it stands.

[Andrew Walsh]

So you're in a bit of a holding. So you're on the super antibiotic now.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm on an antibiotic that is supposed to potentially work on things that are antibiotic proof.

[Andrew Walsh]

Nice.

[Luke Burbank]

And it seems to have made kind of a no difference that I can tell. I'm still gonna have to. Tomorrow when I'm filming in la, I'm gonna have to be quite artful with my makeup job so that it's, you know, hopefully not too noticeable on. On television. And then Friday after tbtl, I'm gonna. I'm gonna go to la, and then I'm gonna come back bright and early on Friday, do the show from here again, and then head down to. It's actually a totally different clinic and get my. Get this eye thing looked at by a person who is apparently authorized to take evasive action if need be.

[Andrew Walsh]

First of all, I gotta ask you a question that is not related to your health, but are you. Do you have the video on. On Your screen right now. Can you see me?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Are we reversed? It's been driving me crazy. You and I have been using this video technology to record the show every day for over a year now. I think since we started independence. For like a year and a half, two years now. I am always on the left. And when I look at the camera, I see myself. For some reason, I am on the right today. And if I look at myself, I'm looking way off camera. Are you. Are we looking normal to you?

[Luke Burbank]

We look exactly normal.

[Andrew Walsh]

And you can't move these around. It's not like something I can move around.

[Luke Burbank]

My view is always from here is that I'm on the left, you're on the right. And that's not just Riverside. That's politically.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. No, that's how we make. That's how we make the magic. I found it. I found the little grabber button. I don't know how it got reversed, but I just found the little grabber button at the top. You can move these things around. I always thought it was the. The dumbest thing.

[Luke Burbank]

I. By the way, I have the cartoon rights for Mr. Grabber Button.

[Andrew Walsh]

You have the. I should have kept the cartoon. The animation rights for Mr. Grab. That's another thing that views. And I say all the. I don't think we can. I mean, well, we have a cat named Bananas, so maybe not every time we say Bananas, but we always say, oh, should have kept the animation rights to Mr. Banana Grabber. Okay, so I'm glad to hear about your. We did not talk about this yesterday. As far as you being in front of the cameras, you've talked about, like, how you might, you know, try to use some more makeup. Talk to your camera person. Can you, like, sort of favor the other side of my face? We didn't talk about you creating a secondary or tertiary disaster on your face that takes all the attention away from the eye. You know what I mean? What about using makeup to make it.

[Luke Burbank]

Look like you have a little bit.

[Andrew Walsh]

Of direction, a little bit of blood coming right. Just a little bit coming down your nose like one of those Stephen King books when somebody used telekinesis.

[Luke Burbank]

That's. I didn't even think about that. Just a. Some sort of oozing wound.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, yes.

[Luke Burbank]

On my opposite cheek.

[Andrew Walsh]

The opposite cheek. Yes. A little worm.

[Luke Burbank]

Draw the eye away. Away.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's what I'm saying. I'm just saying throw. Try it. I don't know how good you are with. With the makeup brushes.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm getting better by the day. As I continue to have to do my. I mean, this is. The other thing is like tomorrow when I'm in, when I'm in la, it is going to be like. Like for instance, I was out in the Finger Lakes region of New York a while ago and kind of wandering around the like, you know, maple SAP groves with a hardworking salt of the earth. And I do mean that I use that advisedly, Andrew. Salt of the earth kind of guy who distills maple SAP into liquor. That's one where I could have had a little, kind of, a little weird thing on my eye and maybe put some concealer on it and no one's going to know tomorrow. It's like I'm talking to somebody who is noted for their physical attractiveness, who will have a glam team, a glam squad.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, it's Nikki Glazier.

[Luke Burbank]

Nikki Glaze, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

You know who else I'm interviewing next week? That's kind of funny. This is another one where I could have a wound and no one would care. I guess I'm interviewing Metallica.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, Lars.

[Luke Burbank]

A week. A week from tomorrow is the plan or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is it Ulrich or Ulrich?

[Luke Burbank]

I'll ask him.

[Andrew Walsh]

Ask him. Yeah, that's the.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, weirdly I've met him because he was. There was a summer where they did. Wait, wait from. In San Francisco for the whole summer because the Chase bank auditorium was being renovated and. And I did it there and you know, those guys are from the Bay Area or at least that's where they lived. And Lars came and was like an in person, not my job guest. And he was a complete delight, as you've probably heard.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh yeah. Lars is the charismatic drummer, right? Yes, that's right. I'm sorry. James Hetfield is the lead singer. Lead singer? Yes, yes. Are you going to ask them about their anti piracy crusade of the early 2000s?

[Luke Burbank]

Could start with a long conversation about LimeWire.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that sounds good because that is.

[Luke Burbank]

Now that you've taken down Napster, have you considered rooting out other services such as Kazaa?

[Andrew Walsh]

Say, listen, I shouldn't tell you this, but I got a friend who watches football games on the Dark Web.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, now that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Now that you've. Now that you've managed to shore things up in the music department, when will you be expanding to the illegal football streaming? That's right. Because I've got a friend who's getting away with absolute murder.

[Andrew Walsh]

Dear Lars, I have a friend who's watching football on an illegal Internet stream. What should I do Signed problematic in Portland.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, you're not.

[Luke Burbank]

And that's how I'm often described. Here's my question to you, Andrew. Yesterday at the end of the program, you said, oh, hey, you had troubled.

[Andrew Walsh]

In the Tri Cities. Are you in the Tri Cities?

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, I could be, to make the name work.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know we don't say the actual. I don't think we say the name of the town you're in, but what.

[Luke Burbank]

Are we deviled in Bellingham? Getting back to the bees. Getting back to yesterday's killer bee segment.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sorry, go ahead.

[Luke Burbank]

My question to you is, should we. We're about 25 minutes into the show. Should we thank some donors and then you can tell me about standing up for yourself, I guess. Or do you want to.

[Andrew Walsh]

We could also skip that. You know, I saw that up.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, I have a whole segment called Health Talk.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, well, I. Health Talk.

[Luke Burbank]

Look at the show sheet sometimes.

[Andrew Walsh]

I did. I saw that on the show sheet this morning. I was like, oh, I don't know if we really need to get into my thing. It's probably not that. It's honestly not. There's not a lot there, honestly. So we could also last. Why don't you just move on?

[Luke Burbank]

Throw it at. Throw it at me. Let's see.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, now are we going to do. Are we going to do it after the. After the.

[Luke Burbank]

Throw it out on the porch, See if the cat licks it up, Throw.

[Andrew Walsh]

It over the fence, Let Arby's take care of it.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. You know, I love my Arby's. You know I love my big beef and cheddar. Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Arby's. Genevieve quotes that from the Simpsons.

[Luke Burbank]

Let's. Let's do that. Let's thank some donors. And then. And the good news, Andrew, is we have a shitload of stuff we didn't get to from yesterday in terms of sort of quasi news events. So no pressure on you to, like, you know, spin this doctor's thing up into too big of a thing. But I do want to hear about how you advocated for yourself, because that was literally one of the things the doctor kept saying to me yesterday, which I appreciate it. She kept saying, you know, you really got to, like, stick up for yourself. Yeah. You know, not that I wasn't, but that is a real thing, and I'm glad to hear you're doing it. So let's talk about that in a sec.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you for being a tale.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, today's donors. These are the people who are supporting TBTL with a financial donation. And that's how this can be a thing. That's how we can do this sometimes up to 366 days.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. We never take. We don't take the Skip day. We don't take the. No, we don't.

[Luke Burbank]

We don't. No, we don't. We're working hard for folks like Sarah and Phil Roylence of Seattle, Washington.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hey, beautiful Seattle. I hope you don't.

[Luke Burbank]

Thanks. Royal Lenses.

[Andrew Walsh]

I wonder where you live on the. On the parody map that I was looking at yesterday.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, God, I hope it's not in. Nope.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was about to say I hope you don't live in. Nope. But you know what? No. I hope we are neighbors.

[Luke Burbank]

Nope.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is a lovely place. I love my neighborhood. I love my nobody.

[Luke Burbank]

The irony, Andrew, is on your birthday, you do want to live in. Nope. You want to just completely disappear. Also, Kathy Walquist is in Rockland, California. I don't know if I've heard of Rockland, California.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know. That's. You said I could. Might want to find myself a craggy rock to look out into the sea. If it was the Pacific, that would be that. Maybe Rockland.

[Luke Burbank]

Rockland. I think of Rockland County. That's Maryland, I think.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

But Kathy's out there in California. Thank you, Kathy. Thanks to Nicole Spahich of Worcester, Ohio.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right. Nicole is in the original Worcester. It's not the original, I don't think.

[Luke Burbank]

Is that close to. Relatively close to where you grew up.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. I always say the same thing here, but this is where sometimes we'd go out and do recordings for the Ohio Light Opera there in Worcester, Ohio.

[Luke Burbank]

My favorite kind of opera.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

I can't handle the heavy stuff. I know at this age I'll feel it for days afterwards.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can I say something? I made a point of not saying this to you, but I'm going to say this to you. I have been listening to Money Jungle a lot lately. You know, one of my favorite jazz.

[Luke Burbank]

Records, I was listening to Herb Ellis this morning, thanks to you, by the way. You've made a major impact on the culture around here.

[Andrew Walsh]

But something has. And I've been listening to a lot of jazz because I've been getting records and I enjoy my record player. I listen to it when Genevieve's gone. She doesn't like it. She calls it Brainer, Burnham Brainer. But I was listening to Money Jungle. And maybe it's because I've been listening to more jazz and more different types of jazz. I'm like, now I hear why People like, the first time I played Money Jungle for you, I remember we were at the undisclosed location, I think, raising money, and you were like, so this is relaxing to you, or you said something. I was like, yeah, no, this is just like, normal. This is, like, down the center jazz. And I were like, oh, no, no. This is. You know, it's pretty hard. That first track, which I absolutely love. I'm not denouncing it. I absolutely love it. But I understand why that's not maybe what you lead with for somebody who's not, like, fully into that era of jazz, because it is a little. It's a. It's a little caco. Because the reason I was thinking about it was because I got it. I was at this record show at the. At the Elks Club, don't tell the Eagles, a few weeks ago, and I got this Sonny Rollins.

[Luke Burbank]

Hot zip.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. And I got this Sonny Rollins record that I absolutely loved. And I remember I used to listen to it in New Hampshire, and I remember my buddy who was really into jazz being like, yeah, a lot of people don't. That's not, like, one of their favorite Sonny Rollins records. I'm like, are you kidding me? I love this. And I remember playing that for you, too, I think, when we were in Australia. And, like, the side one is one track that is, like, 25 minutes long.

[Luke Burbank]

That's the one that has David Berman on a lot of the tracks.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, it was probably that. Yeah, it was that same road trip, and it's like burner, burner, burp, burp. And then it's just like that, like, about a million times over. Like, just variations on that theme. At one point, I think he takes his mouthpiece off of his saxophone. And I was listening to that, and I'm like, yeah, this is, like, one of my favorite jazz, and I still love that. It's called East. What is it called? East Broadway Rundown, but it's called How.

[Luke Burbank]

Far Can We Push It?

[Andrew Walsh]

I do understand. Like, to me, I was just like, yeah, this is jazz. Why wouldn't you like this? And now I hear that. I'm like, oh, yeah, I was pushing on you and Genevieve some of the more like, kind of, let's say, just like, less relaxing sort of flavors of bop, I would say. So anyway, I was listening to Money Jungle yesterday, thinking of you and thinking, oh, yeah, now I understand how this would have hit your ears as we were trying to relax and, like, out on the porch in that undisclosed location.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I mean, first of all, here's the thing you've learned from your mistakes. And you're recommending her Bellis? Yes. No, no, no. I'm saying, like, this is all we can do. We can't be perfect, Andrew, but we can take in an information and then we can kind of adjust our behaviors going forward. And you've done that with your recommendations. Because that Herb Ellis thing is hitting for me. I listen to like a playlist or I should say kind of an algorithm or whatever you call it. On like Pandora. Yes. I am the last known Pandora subscription.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, you and my dad. My dad subscribes still too.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, listen, Bob is not crazy. I love me that. I mean, honestly, here's what it is. When before Spotify had like a algorithm that I knew of. Anyway, before Spotify was kind of doing the same thing, I had all these Pandora stations that I had made. And like, I didn't want to. I didn't want to have to create them. And they're literally. It's like putting in a song. It's like walking on a dream. Empire of the sun radio. That's it. That's all I have.

[Andrew Walsh]

You could recreate that. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

On Spotify, but I fear that I won't be able to remember the songs.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

So there's something that's just kind of reassuring about Pandora. Like, I go over their old friend. I think it's also like $5 a year or something. I think it's quite. Quite affordable. But. But yeah, so I've been enjoying that stuff. And you know what else? Like, when I was in New York last time, I went to Birdland now, which is like. I mean, now listen, the thing about Birdland is that it's become. It's so iconic as a place that it's kind of like. How do I put this? It's there. I've been to other jazz events. I went to. I went to like a two in the morning, like, jazz set. This would have been like maybe three or four times ago. When I went to New York, I was out with some friends and they were like, oh, you want to go to this thing? And it's like totally like a. Just a door. It's like in Chinatown. You go down, you sit in this little room with these chairs, and then it's just like a kind of a free for all people are going up. It's almost like an open mic, but with this like running soundtrack. It was so cool. It's so fun. And even Birdland, which is, you know, kind of like dinner theater jazz at this point. Because it's proximity to Broadway and because most people, even if they don't know jazz, they've heard of Birdland.

[Andrew Walsh]

I always thought that was a studio. I remember you saying you went to Birdland, and for some reason I was thinking that. Was this a studio? It's a then.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I also went to Electric Lady.

[Andrew Walsh]

That. Okay, that's what I'm conflating, I think.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, but. But I just. I love listening to jazz in the live environment and I don't care how weird ass it gets. You know what I mean? Like, there's something about the live experience where I'm just so totally kind of like I'm bought in and I've signed off and I'm ready for this. I think some of that probably doesn't translate as well to the recorded experience for me. But if you put me in a. In a. In a smokey jazz club in Berlin and why I places in Berlin, I'm totally down for you money. Jungle it up for all I care.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, would, you know. Okay, we got to get back to the donors, but let's just talk.

[Luke Burbank]

McKenna Jones of Portland, Oregon has been waiting all morning for their appreciation. Thank you, McKenna.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, McKenna can maybe be in on this with us if you want. Because you know me, Luke. Like, I'm just really leaning into all of my Andrew quirks that make me generally unlikable, unlikable, and unrelatable. But, like, I'm not a bucket list person. Like, I'm always like, I want to do this before I die. And I'm like, I don't know, probably throw some more darts. I don't know my expectations in life or. It's not even expectations. It's like I'm not super motivated to like, kind of do anything crazy. What, going up in a hot air balloon. You can have it. But I was listening again. I'm just. I guess I'm just hitting that age, that white man.

[Luke Burbank]

Speak for yourself. I'm young and cool. I wear funny sweatshirts that say Gulls. Just want to have fun.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I want to talk. I want to talk to you about that too. In a second. He is wearing a cute little sweater that says gulls. Just want to have fun. I want to. That reminds me of something I need to talk to you about. Get off my chest. But I'm just hitting that sort of like white, middle aged man jazz age, I guess, which is just like so annoying. When I was a younger person, I knew men like this and they were pretty, you know, not super fun to be Around. But Genevieve was gone one day this weekend. You know, it was a long weekend, and I was like down in the basement, like, blasting music that she wouldn't otherwise like. And I was listening to Bill Evans famous recording at the Village Vanguard. And then I started looking up, like, the Village Vanguard. I'm like, I've always known of this place where all this stuff has been recorded, but, like, is it still around? Like, what. What's going on with it? And I started watching, like, YouTube videos of it. And it's like, you know what? That's one thing. I should go to the Village Vanguard before I die. See whoever's playing. It doesn't even matter. Let's go to the Village Vanguard. If you want in on this, Luke, it could be you, me, McKenzie, McKenna, rather. Sorry, I didn't mean McKenzie McKenna. And maybe even Jordan Mobley of Chicago, Illinois. Maybe we all.

[Luke Burbank]

What about Cheryl Axel, though, of Bellevue, Washington? McKenna, Jordan and Cheryl there. Actually, let's get everybody on today's list. Sarah, Phil, Kathy, Nicole, McKenna, Jordan, and then Cheryl. You're all invited to the Village Vanguard or Village Vanguard with us, which.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, am I not supposed to say the Village Vanguard? I thought.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, no, I don't think you were. I think I misstated it. And I'm. This is. First of all, the first. I'm learning there's something called Village Vanguard. You speaks to New York.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm being serious about this, Luke. Right up your alley, Bill.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm looking at pictures.

[Andrew Walsh]

Bill Evans, Sunday at the Village Vanguard. That's.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm looking at pictures, my friend, of the Village of. Excuse me, Village Vanguard.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is it not the Village. What is the name of Bill Evans's record? Is it.

[Luke Burbank]

It's the Eagles. No way. The Eagles.

[Andrew Walsh]

Eagles, okay. Yeah. It's Sunday at the Village Vanguard, so you can say the. I guess that's why I'm getting. Putting the article there. But you would love that record, by the way.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, and I also. I'm thinking I might love this physical space.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right. See, I was taking YouTube tours of it, some of which were recorded during the pandemic, which was a weird vibe.

[Luke Burbank]

This is crazy, though. It's on 7th Avenue in Greenwich Village. I lived off of 7th Avenue. I live between 6th and 7th on Carmine. And I didn't know this was. That this would have been, like, around the corner from where I was living for a while when I was in New York. And I think it speaks to my cultural illiteracy and also how much shit is going on in New York Times.

[Andrew Walsh]

And what you were into in your age. I mean, I don't think that's. I don't think that's a shameful. I don't think that's a shameful admission.

[Luke Burbank]

That looks very fun though, Andrew. And I would absolutely. I would be honored to go visit Village Vanguard with you and listen to some. Listen to some atonal beboping.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm going to get a. I could already taste the gin and tonic. I believe I will be drinking a gin and tonic, by the way.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, I'll allow. It's your birthday. I'll allow it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you, everybody. Better remember it.

[Luke Burbank]

Hello and welcome.

[Andrew Walsh]

Top story.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, quick update on you at the doctor, advocating for yourself.

[Andrew Walsh]

The doctor said I shouldn't be drinking so many gin and tonics. And I said, no, I'm standing up for my right.

[Luke Burbank]

You said, get real, daddy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that's exactly what I said.

[Luke Burbank]

All the hep cats are draining the g ts.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, so that's my story. No, the problem with this story is I feel like it's. It's actually a less interesting story of one that I've already told. It's sort of maybe a quick follow up to something that happened that I already gave in a lot of detail.

[Luke Burbank]

Can I ask a question in advance of this, which is, did you get the physician's assistant you had a couple times ago? You had a real battle ax. You had a real grump. And I know you were not really a fan of.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, their way of taking this was in the blood lab. Yes. Not a PA but like a blood technician down in the blood. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Phlebotomist. Potentially, yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

And so, yeah, that is where. So basically what happens is now that I'm on various medications for my rheumatoid arthritis, I guess I'm on a schedule where I go in and I check in with my doctor, my rheumatologist every three months or so so he can check in with me. Like kind of how am I doing, how am I progressing? And part of that also is to take a blood test. And that's sort of. It's not interesting or maybe not even important, but it's like kind of a. It's a different part of the medical establishment. Like you, I go to a big building that is in Ballard, but it's attached to the hospital. My doctor is not in the hospital. But then after your appointment, he's like, you gotta go down one floor, take the skybridge to the hospital, then go up another floor, then down another floor. Then you meet a Troll, the troll's gonna ask you some questions, be nice to the troll. Then eventually you get to the blood lab. I had the same thought you did the other day, Luke. I'm like, now I'm at that age where I know where I'm going in this labyrinth. I'm kinda like, these are my people now. But anyway, so you go to this blood lab. And so I went to see my doctor. He's like, okay. And by the way, for the record, feeling great. I'm about like, I think I'm getting like, I'm taking two different medications now, and they're all, it's all coming together, it's all working.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm a little bit pharma.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I'm a little creakier than I was when all this started. And my doc thinks that some of that will still come back. Like, it's not even what I'm feeling right now as far as like, little bit of like, you know, inflexibility or whatever is actually probably still just my joints and stuff healing from the rheumatoid arthritis. Like, I'm sort of past the first big flare up or whatever. And so anyway, he was happy to hear that. But they need to keep on checking my blood both for rheumatoid indicators, but also I think possibly even more importantly to know that these medications are not destroying my gutty works essentially, you know. And so, and so ever since this began, which began back in May, like, so it's been going on for a while now. Every time I go to see a doctor, I have to go get my blood test. And I don't love needles. I'm always a little, you know, I'm trying to be better about it, get out of my head a little bit. But if I, if I get, you know, if they poke me too many times or if I think about it too much, I will definitely get lightheaded. And one time I went down to get my blood taken and I was feeling like a real big boy because they had done this several times, times in, you know, in a row. And I was, you know, proud of myself for keeping my shit together. But then I went in and like you said, I got this phlebotomist who was like, kind of grumpy and just like, you could just tell he's not great with people, which not everybody's great with people. I mean, look at.

[Luke Burbank]

But maybe not a job where you're sticking a sharp implement into their bodies, a thing that a lot of people kind of have a little bit Of a discomfort around. That's not maybe the job for you. Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

So anyway, so this one time he couldn't find a vein, and then he calls in his colleague, and then she couldn't find a vein or something, and I left and. Oh, that's right, I left. I literally almost passed out. Like, the thing where my whole face went cold, cold sweat. Had to put my face down. And then the next time I went in there and I told you this story on the show, I went in and I got him again. I think it was the next time. It doesn't really matter. And then it was the same thing. He's like, huh, do they always do this arm? Let me see your other arm. And just like, he starts the second they start telling me that they're having issues. Like, the second my head starts swimming, you know, And I'm just like, you know what? You couldn't find it last time. I'll just come back tomorrow. And I got up and this is a while back, and I got up and I walked out of the blood lab. And then I remember I walked all the way outside towards my car, and I remember thinking, I can't come back tomorrow. I got other shit to do. And he should be better at his job. I'm going to go back in there. And I went back in there and I had said. And I said to them at the front desk, I'm like, listen, I said, I'm going to come back. Because he couldn't find a vein. But honestly, like, you can. I don't think I said, you can always find a vein. But I said, because the woman at the front desk also has taken my blood before and is a really chill person. And I like her, very chatty. She was the first person to diagnose me with rheumatoid arthritis. When my doctor kept telling me, like.

[Luke Burbank]

Within five seconds of talking to you.

[Andrew Walsh]

She'S like, oh, it looks like you got arthritis, too. I have that, too. I'm just like, yeah, my doctor still thinks I just have a carpal tunnel. I'm still mad at my original doctor.

[Luke Burbank]

As well you should be, sir.

[Andrew Walsh]

So anyway, so I marched back in there that time and told her, I'm like, I can't come back tomorrow. This guy can never find a vein in me. I can't remember how I put it. I didn't put it rudely. She's like, oh. She's like, I can. I can do that. She was like, it's simple. It was like she knew that this guy is not great. At his job.

[Luke Burbank]

So it sounds like he's not a people person. And he's also not good at vein finding.

[Andrew Walsh]

Vein finding, Right.

[Luke Burbank]

And so which is the main core competency of being someone who draws? Oh, that's just. That's Rick. He can never find a vein. Why don't we.

[Andrew Walsh]

But he makes up for it with a rotten personality.

[Luke Burbank]

Can we put Rick onto some sort of performance. Performance improvement plan?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, we might. I might have seen that happen recently. So that day this woman took my blood. And she said, by the way, you can always ask. She said, you can always just ask for somebody with more experience, you know. And I thought that that was sort of a code to get around Rick. We're calling him Rick now. And that was the last time I had blood drawn, maybe four months ago or something. And then I went back in there today and my pal wasn't there. The woman that I usually see who usually takes my blood, who's like, it was another person at the front desk. Desk. And she, she looked really busy. And you're not even really. The process isn't to say, hi, I'm here for my appointment. You're really supposed to just take a slip of paper right in front of her, fill it out and put it in this little thing, and then she takes it.

[Luke Burbank]

I still go talk to a person because I'm worried that the system won't work. So when you go into the my place, I could theoretically just go down to the waiting area and wait for them to say my name. But I somehow still think it won't work. So I go to the check in and I go, hi, I'm here for. To see someone. And then they like go date of birth. And then I put it in there. Like you're in whatever waiting area. It's like the system is designed for me just to walk in, sit down and get my name hollered. But I don't trust the system.

[Andrew Walsh]

I saw a comic, like, I should say like more of a cartoon, a New Yorker style cartoon, like years ago. Or. No, no, it wasn't years ago. Cause it was right. While I was going through all this stuff, it was very relevant to my interest. It showed like some sort of medical professional just said, I went through six years of school so I could ask people what their birthday is. Is like when you're in the system, you have to say your birthday like what, 17 times per visit. Now I.

[Luke Burbank]

This is my thing. What I think about now is the combinatorics of birth dates. In other words, how many different Combinations. Can there be. It must be the. I mean, they usually ask a follow up question, but it seems like date of birth is the first. That's the starting point.

[Andrew Walsh]

Before name. I always think it's name and date of birth.

[Luke Burbank]

And I swear with Kaiser, my experience is it starts with date of birth. And I always think, well, how many people might have been born on May 8th?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, maybe if they have two people in their system with the same one, they'd then clarify, are you right?

[Luke Burbank]

But I mean of the whole system, which is thousands and thousands of people, what are the chances that somebody else in that system is 48 years old and was born on like my college. Not my actual roommate, but the guy like one room over, Dan Gatean. He and I had the exact same birth date and year and we're both born in Northern California. Now I don't know if he's in the Kaiser system now, but I just.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think you and Barry too say you're born on the same exact very day.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. Don't steal my eye medicine, Barry. That's for me?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Don't go down there misusing your birthday to get my new course of antibiotics.

[Andrew Walsh]

Weird how greedy you are with your eye medicine, by the way.

[Luke Burbank]

I just realized something too. I know we're hearing your story, but just interstitially so. Speaking of feeling a little lightheaded and whatnot, I think this antibiotic makes me feel a little loopy. Like the doctor said, take it with food if you want to, but you know, I don't. I'm not a big breakfast person and, and I. So I apologize if I seem a little spacey today. But then I also just realized, oh, I gotta finish. Even though on Friday I'm gonna go in and maybe they'll do something, you know, kind of surgical to my eye. I guess I still have to take the antibiotic because of the thing that we had talked about, like you gotta finish that course. So in other words like next into next week, even if they've, you know, even if this has been solved in some way, I'm still going to be taking this stupid antibiotic that kind of makes me feel a little weird and loopy.

[Andrew Walsh]

But anyway, you might get used to it or you might just like love to learn.

[Luke Burbank]

I might start. I might start crushing them up and doing lines of this antibiotic.

[Andrew Walsh]

Learn to love the high is what I meant to say there. But okay, so you.

[Luke Burbank]

So it's a new front desk person.

[Andrew Walsh]

That was all last time. Yeah. And then this time I'M coming in and I'm like, I'm sort of like practicing in my head. I'm going to say, hey, by the way, I been told that I could ask for somebody with more experience. I'm like, how am I going to. What is this coded language I'm going to use? And I'm just expecting that it's going to be the same woman at the front desk who often will take my blood too. But I go in and it's a different person. And I say hi. And she doesn't really look up. She looks pretty intent on her screen. I'm like, oh, should I just fill out a slip? She's like, yeah. So I'm filling out the slip. I'm like, this isn't how the plan was supposed to go. I had lines I had to deliver. I can't write it on the slip. But then I said to her, so I fill out the slip, my name, date of birth, time. I came into the office, put it in her little slip basket. And then I said, hey, can I interrupt you for just a second? She's like, yeah. And she looks up and she's like, not rude, but also not like, you know, she's just like down the middle doing her job, whatever. And. But I'm just like a little sheepishly. I'm like, hey, can I interrupt you? She's like, yeah. And I'm like, hey, I. And I soto voce here. I'm kind of like, you know, sometimes I get a fella who. And so I specifically wanted to sort of identify that. I'm like, sometimes I get a fella who has problems finding my veins. And then I get a little passy Audi, if you know what I mean. I actually said, I love. I'm like, I get a little passy.

[Luke Burbank]

Not coded, the language is, but how. Sort of like it's fella. Yeah, it's passy Audi. It's all these kind of things. It's like me back in my steak eating days trying to order a medium well steak without saying medium well. Could you do medium plus? But then just like maybe scooch it up a bit and then leave it.

[Andrew Walsh]

In there a little bit longer.

[Luke Burbank]

Ask the fella back there to just kind of, I don't know, nudge it up.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's doing great. Hey, just tell him to nudge it up a bit. So yeah, I did definitely say that. I'm like, hey, there's a fellow. Can't find my veins. Sometimes I get a little passy outie. So I was told That I should maybe ask for somebody with more experience. She's like, oh, yeah, no problem. And I'm like, great. And then I sit down in my seat and it's a very quiet day. It's a very. I should have started this way. It was a very quiet day at the blood lab. There's very few people in the waiting area. And then a door opens from one of the labs and an elderly woman comes out, and she's sort of joking around with our guy, the fella.

[Luke Burbank]

Rick.

[Andrew Walsh]

Rick. And I'm also thinking, like, well, she seemed to have done fine. I can see he's holding two vials of her blood in his hands. By the way, he's a vampire. Did I mention that? Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

What a weird. He's wearing them as earrings.

[Andrew Walsh]

He was wearing her skin. It was very strange. Ew. No, but I did for a. It wasn't until later, I think that I was thinking, like, huh, he does fine with her. Like, what is it with me? Oh, God, Andrew.

[Luke Burbank]

There is no situation in which you can't make yourself somehow to blame.

[Andrew Walsh]

But I was, you know, I spent that morning trying to drink as much water as possible. I made sure I didn't go in on an empty stomach. Like, kind of things that I had learned from the time that I did get pasioti. And so. But I'm like, oh, shit, he is the tech on duty today. But I know that I had mentioned to the woman at the front desk that I. I think she understood. I think she picked up what I was laying down. Daddy O. And so he comes out and he comes into the main area, and I hear her say something to him. And I didn't hear what it was, but I hear him say, oh, yeah, yeah, I can take care of that for you. And then I'm like, I don't know what that means. And I'm like, am I it? Am I what he's going to take care of? And then I see him go, like, back into his lab or whatever, his little room. And then he starts, like, wiping. He starts wiping things down or something.

[Luke Burbank]

Sterilizing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And then she comes. She's like, okay, Andrew. I'm like, yeah. And she takes me into the room across the way, and there's a very small little area. But I think what she did was she said, hey, Rick, could you sterilize lab B and I'll take care of this guy. I think that she gave him an assignment so that he would not be available to not take my blood.

[Luke Burbank]

That's actually very cagey of her.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think these people have.

[Luke Burbank]

The game is really slowed down for her.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think they know about Rick now. Rick can clearly get it done with other patients. So, like, I don't know what's going on. I don't. I'm not trying to beat myself up, but I'm also. I don't want to throw Rick totally under the bus. I mean, Rick, clearly, he's. It's working for others. I don't know what's going on with me, but. Because he just starts talking and he starts grumbling too soon about not being able to find veins. Then I start thinking about my veins, Then I start thinking about blood. Then I start feeling things, poking around and hearing, nope. And I'm like, that's my neighborhood. And anyway, so I. So anyway, I. Again, I extended this too much. Mostly just retelling the story I told from three months ago. But now I guess I just have to go in and say, like, I don't know how long I can keep this up if I'm a regular customer. They're going in there four times a year, how many tasks they can give Rick to keep him occupied. But it did work. But I also feel. I feel like I. Eventually, I'm gonna have to face my demons in there. Maybe. I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, they've. We got to come up first with some things. Other things for Rick to do in the environment. I was actually surprised yesterday after I got my. My, like, had my time with the doctor. She was like, okay, I'm gonna print out your, you know, paperwork of kind of, like. Because I also got, like, a. Every time I go in now, I'm getting a. Not a full checkup, but they'll, like, take my, you know, blood pressure and stuff or whatever ever. So she was like, okay, I have your, you know, like, instructions for taking the antibiotics and also, like, blood pressure numbers and all this stuff. So she goes to the printer. She's right in the middle of the, like, office. And I'm like, do I just follow you? She's like, yeah, come on over here. So I'm, like, standing at the printer, but it's like, everyone's desks.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, I'm kind of in their world. I'm like, am I, like, allowed back here? What's going on? And then it turns out that she's apparently a big, wicked fan, and as is another, like, medical tech or some guy rolls in who clearly works there, and she's like, hey, what's up? And he's like, hey. She's like, can you do the Wicked dance? And she starts like, remember I played that tape of the guy for the Rams? I think it's Kobe Turner doing this like, dance. Well, anyway, she like breaks into the dance and. Well, first of all, she goes, have you seen Wicked? And the guy goes, I've seen it twice.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love this woman, by the way.

[Luke Burbank]

And then she's like, okay, I've been learning the dance. And she's like trying to do the dance. And then he's laughing, he's like, I don't do choreography feet. And I look in the back of the room and there's this other, you know, person who works there who's probably more of like an admin person. And she's just like cracking up at these two people talking about their wicked dance.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right.

[Luke Burbank]

And I was like, I'm. I feel. I'm liking the vibes. I'm liking the vibes here. Like, you know, this seems like a. So maybe we can get Rick transferred down there. Maybe that would be a change of, change of scenery. And also they could kind of coach him up.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm willing to bring your doctor on the Village Vanguard Express too.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, she'd love it. Dr. Svoboda.

[Andrew Walsh]

Ye. Yeah. Is she. By the way, I picture her, when you were describing her, I was picturing her as maybe a bit of a younger. At least younger than us. Because I was thinking about it in regards to her relationship with communication via computers, like using this system that seems like a text based system and sometimes using all caps. You said to say that the problem persists or whatever she used or keeping her on read and her navigating that. I was thinking like, oh, this is probably somebody who's like, you know, grew up more comfortable with this kind of communication than maybe us or a doctor 10 years older than us.

[Luke Burbank]

She's actually older than me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Really. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Grew up in Taiwan and was explaining to me that she looks. She had a mask on, so I couldn't verify any of this, but she was, I was talking about my eye and I said, you know, I go, I actually do a job where, you know, I get filmed sometimes. And so this is a particular really kind of not great thing for me to have. And then she goes, well, don't. Then she goes, you're on tv. And I go, yeah. She goes, don't have any plastic surgery. I was like, okay, a point taken, note taken.

[Andrew Walsh]

Just because she doesn't like plastic surgery.

[Luke Burbank]

Or she, she doesn't like plastic surgery. She thinks that people get too much plastic surgery.

[Andrew Walsh]

I agree.

[Luke Burbank]

And she was like. She was like, you look fine. And I was like, okay, thanks. I go. And she goes. And she goes, I look so much younger than my age. Again, I couldn't verify any of this. She goes, goes, that's being Asian. She was like, I hated it when I was a kid, or I hate it when I was in my 20s because everyone thought I looked like a little kid, but now, thanks to my ancestors.

[Andrew Walsh]

So she was.

[Luke Burbank]

She was very, very.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh.

[Luke Burbank]

And the other thing she was telling me was she used to be a doctor, I think, on Maui, and was the only doctor. She was. I was the only doctor on the volcano. I was like, well, that seems unlikely. It's a pretty substantial island. But she was like. It was so crazy, like, the workload. And she was a doctor in rural Kansas also, where, again, there were not many doctors. And so she was like. Eventually, I was just like, I cannot deal with this. So she's like, we moved here where the cost of living is much lower. Me and my husband and my daughter, and now I just work, like, two days a week here. That's all I do. And that gives me more time to really try to help people like you. And I love it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that's.

[Luke Burbank]

Hell, yeah, dude. Yeah, I'm. I'm here for it. So. So anyway, I don't know how any of that relates to Rick other than to say I'm.

[Andrew Walsh]

We gotta keep him busy. I gotta bring, like, maybe like a. Like some sort of a. I don't know, like, I can give him my key ring to play with or something. I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

Laser pointer?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I can bring. Bingo.

[Luke Burbank]

I just figured it out. Rick is a cat. Is that the problem?

[Andrew Walsh]

Did I not say that?

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, he's like a grumpy orange cat.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's especially grumpy on Mondays.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah. Okay. This is making so much more sense.

[Andrew Walsh]

Did I seriously not mention that? I'm so sorry. No, that's critical. Can I start over?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, Can I? I mean, I'm teaching a storytelling workshop online later this week.

[Andrew Walsh]

Masterclass.

[Luke Burbank]

And step one is, if your phlebotomist is a cat, you need to give that information to the listener early on so they can understand the contours of the story.

[Andrew Walsh]

It just seemed obvious. Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. Oh, man.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not from a female. All right, as. As suspected, we didn't get to any of the top stories But I find our medical stories to be top of the pops. Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

So, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Any emails or females before we wrap things up today?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, this is from our friend Kelly, who sent this in. And I don't know exactly what I'm going to play for you here, but I've been wanting to play it for you since I saw this. Do you remember, Luke? This would have been sometime last week because I see this email is already six days old. I just very. I don't know why. One of us was telling a story and we said, hey, wait up or something and we're like, we don't ever say that anymore as adults. Hey, wait up. As a kid, we spent so much time saying, hey, wait up. Now if anything, we're just like, slow down. You know, and it seemed, and it was an observation that I believe I made. And then you were on board with. And then I got this email from Kelly that says, hey, dear friendos, when I was in college, my friends and I listened to a particular Seinfeld comedy album. A lot like totally normal and cool 18 year olds. You're my kind. These are my people. Comedy Records at 18. You better believe it. I had like two Steve Martin records memorized by that age. Anyway, Kelly says your brief conversation about, about up, about up, down, kid, adult talk, I missed that. Loosened this bit from the back of my brain. I don't understand what that sentence means, so I'm going to move it.

[Luke Burbank]

Up, down, kid, adult talk.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, slow down. Maybe. Is that like weighed up? Slow down. I'm assuming that up, down means weighed up. Slow down, kid versus how kids and adults got you.

[Luke Burbank]

Got you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sorry I didn't pre read this, but anyway, it loosened this bit from the back of my brain. I loved this comedy record so much back then. I'm not sure it's all that fun. Funny when viewed from a 2024 perspective, but in 2004, it sure made us giggle. Anyway, here's Jerry Seinfeld realizing the same thing 25 years ago. So this makes me nervous because I'm wondering, like, I don't think I've ever heard of Jerry Seinfeld like full special before. But that observation I made, I'm a little bit mortified to think that I was just like doing a Jerry Seinfeld bit and like, is there a chance that at some point in my mind, in my life, life, this has come across, you know, my eyeballs or ear holes and I just internalized it and then regurgitated this? I have not listened to this yet. It's 42 seconds long.

[Luke Burbank]

You're. I will. I will tell you one thing. And I say this with peace and love, but you're. What's the deal with the airline food riff that you do? That one's definitely lifted from.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you know, when you started that sentence, my heart started beating a pitter patter because I thought you were going to raise the fact that I did yesterday on the show, think I was riffing. But I said, daddy's house. Do you remember that? And I'm like, oh, that didn't. I was trying to come up with, like, a fake.

[Luke Burbank]

A fake, like Fox thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

That would be football. But then I was all, that is.

[Luke Burbank]

A movie with Mark Wahlberg and Adam Sandler. No, I think it's. It's Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I see.

[Luke Burbank]

Daddy's home.

[Andrew Walsh]

But the thing is, we play tape where the punchline is daddy's home, too. And so me trying to riff was me just realizing five minutes later that I had just kind of said something that lives in my mind because it was somebody else's joke. But anyway, here's Jerry Seinfeld ripping off my joke.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

20 years ago.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, wait up. Wait up. That's what kids say. They don't say, wait. They say, wait up. Hey, wait up. Because when you're little, your life is up, the future is up, everything you want is up. Wait up. Hold up.

[Andrew Walsh]

Shut up. Mom.

[Luke Burbank]

I'll clean up. Let me stay up. Parents, of course, it's just the opposite. Everything is down. Just calm down. Slow down. Come down here. Sit down. Put that down. I see applause break.

[Andrew Walsh]

Applause, break.

[Luke Burbank]

Applause break. This is the thing that I think about when I hear Seinfeld's comedy. And by the way, I really like the comedians in Cars Getting Coffee just as a show. I thought it's really entertaining. I hope they make more seasons of it. I think Jerry Seinfeld has kind of walked back his statement about, like, woke culture and comedy, which I actually really kind of respect.

[Andrew Walsh]

Very thoughtful about the whole thing. Yeah. You can tell I'm just kind of processing.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, yeah, right. And so kind of like your thoughts on jazz and recommending terrible things to me that permanently scarred my mind.

[Andrew Walsh]

We're going out with East Broadway Rundown today.

[Luke Burbank]

I just decided I may. I'm a. But so, you know, I like Jerry Seinfeld. And one thing is for me, like, when I catch an old episode of Seinfeld or when I have caught it, it doesn't quite hit for me anymore. Like, it was just a Real moment in time. And by the way, when that moment was happening, I was all in on it. Like, I was, you know, it was must see TV for me, as. As you might imagine. But all that is to say, I feel like Jerry Seinfeld is fascinating to me, and he might even. He might even like, say this himself. It's like, it's less that he is a funny person, more that he is a person who has analyzed the principles of comedy and created a sort of a theorem for what equals a joke. And it's this plus this, you know, plus this minus this. And then you get this output. Like, he has figured it out because, like, he did the jokes. Like. Like there's a. Like a joke that, like a Ron Funches will tell. That's just. Or I'll give you a better example. I was just, like, reading this article about Cat Williams, the comedian. Cat Williams had a joke at some point. He was like, this was during the Iraq war, I think he was like. He said, can any of you describe the Iraqi military uniform? He goes, I'll give you a minute. And he's like, you can't, because they don't have them. They're out there in flip flops and a T shirt and a cowboy hat fighting us. And his larger point was we're not fighting an army, we're fighting a group of people. And maybe that's. Obviously, that's also very political. But, like, that has stuck with me as, like, a devastatingly funny statement. Something about cowboy hat made me laugh really hard. And no one will ever, ever talk about anything that Seinfeld. Does any of Seinfeld stand up comedy as being meaningful or. To me, there are people who just say things that are funny, and then are there people who say funny things and then people who say things funny? And Seinfeld is almost like in a different category where he. I mean, up and down. He just noticed that people say, wait up. And then he sort of says. Then he does this logical leap to, like, because when you're a kid, you know, you have a lot of potential. And then he just finds other examples of where you say up. And then he's like, well, what's the opposite of that? It's so kind of. It's so logical. It's such a. It's such a math problem of a joke as opposed to just a feeling, you know, a vibe or something that I think it's interesting because I guess my question is, is Seinfeld actually a funny person or not? I don't know.

[Andrew Walsh]

And in what contexts? As well. Right. Like we're talking about stand up here and that particular joke. Honestly, that kind of makes me feel better because I don't think I have ever heard that before. And also where he was taking it. I thought it was going to be 45 seconds of him saying exactly what you and I said, which is, why don't we essentially. Why don't we say wait up anymore? You know? But I see he did. He did make that what I would describe as a somewhat dubious leap to the idea. That's because your whole life is ahead of you. Everything is up. Like, I don't.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, by the way, he's not wrong about that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, he's wrong about.

[Luke Burbank]

If anything, that language, though, that bit makes me wistful.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. But anyway, it does make me feel more confident that my whatever I said was not influenced by possibly seeing that or hearing that in the past. But.

[Luke Burbank]

But when you tell me to calm down on the show, Luke, what I usually say is that is when I know you're ripping off Jerry.

[Andrew Walsh]

I usually say much. I say calm your. Some things, but I say it a much more sort of. That's. I don't say up or down. In that case.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, Luke.

[Andrew Walsh]

Calm up, Luke.

[Luke Burbank]

All I can tell you is gulls just want to have fun.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah. Okay. Let me just get this off my chest, and then we can wrap up the show, if you don't mind. You're wearing that cute shirt says, gulls just want to have fun. And that is a. Is that a Bellinghamster shirt? No, a Ballard shirt. Ballard. And it shows a gull. I like that because, sure, there are seagulls in Ballard, but maybe. You know what? Maybe that's the answer to this question that's been bothering me lately. We talked recently, as we creep ever further into middle age, how you and I are very drivers now, especially around, like, neighborhoods. Like, I drive through this specific neighborhood several times a week to get from where I live to, like, the Roosevelt area. And it's like, you know, all residential little traffic circles to slow you down and everything. And I just. I drive very, very slowly because there are a lot of kids, There are a lot of pets. There are things that could dart out in front of you, and I'm happy to do so. They have little signs reminding people that they should go slow in these areas. I've always been a fan of 20 is plenty. 20 is plenty. And these are, like, signs that are, like, professionally made. And I think neighborhoods are just like, People can apply to the city to probably get one and put. Put it in their traffic circle or put it outside their yard or something. And so 20 is plenty is kind of a classic one. And that one speaks to me. Ones I don't like are the ones that say, slow down. Because I'm like, you don't know how fast I'm going. Going. Like, you can advise me to drive slowly.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, if you were going 10 miles an hour, it might be unsafe for you to slow down. Because I'm practically blocking the road.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. I'm practically going 10 miles an hour anyway. I don't need a sign telling me to slow down. That sign doesn't know how fast I'm going. I'm a little irritated by those. But then there are these cutesy ones that will just have a bird on it, like a cartoon bird. Not unlike the illustration on your shirt, but even more basic than that. Just like a bird standing on the ground. And it just says, says, slow the flock down.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. I've seen these.

[Andrew Walsh]

You've seen these. And this gets really into the territory of pun. Like bad almost puns on salons, on salon signs or whatever.

[Luke Burbank]

Main attraction.

[Andrew Walsh]

Main attraction. Slow the flock down. First of all, we're not in a particularly birdy area. It would be one thing if you were visiting a nature preserve and there were a bunch of. You were in the bird section, and so they made these special signs. It'd be like, that's cute. But you're just, like, in some random neighborhood of Seattle. There's, by the way, one bird depicted on the sign.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not a flock. Quail.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, and it's probably a quail. It's not even a flock of birds. It's a single bird. The pun. Why am I slowing the flock down? That's not a pun.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, it's because flock is standing in for the F word.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know, but why that? Why not? I just don't understand it. Like, somebody just said, I don't know. Flock. I like birds. Like, right.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, I agree with you.

[Andrew Walsh]

To this neighborhood. It doesn't make any sense.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I mean, I think.

[Andrew Walsh]

Fudge.

[Luke Burbank]

I think that the. I think that they were so excited about the. I mean, flock sounds a lot like the real F word. And I think that that's. That that was as far as they got with the sort of, like, the conceptual consistency of the idea. So, like, they basically.

[Andrew Walsh]

It does offend you, though. Like, we're just, like, constructing, like, Seinfeld. Like, this is just. It makes no sense. And it's not funny and it's not cute and it makes me want to speed up.

[Luke Burbank]

I have a different reaction to it. 1. I remember seeing that and going, ooh, that's kind of edgy. Slow the flock down. And then I thought, you know, after I have seen that sign, I am thinking about the word slow the flock down. Like, a lot. Like, it's not. It is not. It's not background visual, like background noise to me. Like, it causes me to. I don't know if it causes me to slow down, but it causes me to think about the concept of slowing down down. So in that way, I feel like it's kind of effective. I'd never thought about the. How kind of not logical it is, which you're totally right about. Like, it doesn't. It doesn't actually, it's. The entire joke is that they're saying something that sounds like the F word, but they're not. But not saying the F word. That's it. That's the whole joke. That's the joke. But you're right after that. It doesn't make any sense.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, there's a. There's a place I sometimes go to on the Ave. And I actually really dislike punny, fun names, but it's called Fussel P H. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And I'm not a big fizzle fan.

[Andrew Walsh]

No either, you know, but at least it makes logical sense. It's like it's a phrase. Ph is something that you're serving there. Like, there's just no reason, like flock and bird. Like, other than, like you said, they just stop thinking. They're like, I don't know what sounds like the F word. Flock. Flock. Fudge. Flock. Let's go with flock and we'll make it bird themed. Oh, should we show a flock? No, just show one bird. That'll be good enough. What are you doing?

[Luke Burbank]

You know what's funny is that I've definitely. This has Mandela to me, though, because I would say that I think there is a small flock of birds on the sign. That's what my imagination of it is. But by the way, I can't confirm that. But because of the word flock. Like, my. My thought on it is it's like it's a mama quail and then there's little smaller birds with it. But I could have very well totally hallucinated that just because it has the word flock.

[Andrew Walsh]

I might be wrong about this. Let's see here. Well.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, these.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, here it is. Okay. Okay, here it is. Here it is. Show pick there's going to be. We can order some of these. By the way. There's plenty of.

[Luke Burbank]

I'll get you some.

[Andrew Walsh]

20 is plenty. Look out for each other. Slow down. Drive like you live here. I like. Drive like you live here. I like that. But I don't like the slow down Dr. Like you live here. You don't know how fast I'm going sign. There are various versions of slow the flock down. Some have multiple birds and some have. Well, actually this one has a single bird standing on a speed limit sign and there are shadows of other birds behind it like in the way background. And if you count that, I would say there's one with two birds. I don't know if two birds make a flock. There's one with four birds that does make a flock. And there's one with a duck and a duckling crossing the road. Oh, and so maybe I. Maybe I'm a little bit wrong. I do. I swear I've seen another one with a quailish looking like birds.

[Luke Burbank]

That's the one that I'm familiar with. I think they've got him down in town, like kind of where I'll go down for my little jog. And I swear to God, I'm not even saying this is on the sign, but what my brain has done is created a version of the sign where there's like a mama quail and then her little, her little quail babies are behind her. And it says slow the flock down. But the problem with that too is the issue is not flocks of people driving too fast. So the flock does not need to be slowed down. It's not, you know, it's not, you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Know what I mean?

[Luke Burbank]

Like, it's not a car, it's not a minivan with like multiple children in it that's tearing through the neighborhood. So again, the inconsistency intellectually continues.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I will say that I can't find one as I was picturing it with just one single bird on it. And none of these look like the ones I see in this little neighborhood. So. Flock my life, man.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't even know now that's a show title. Flock my life. Love it.

[Andrew Walsh]

All right, let's.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, what do you say? Oh man, I just blowing through nap time blown. It's weird, man. I got so much sleep last night. I swear to God, these antibiotics, stretching and be like, guess we're. It's weird. I slept so. I got so much sleep last night and actually was. I was not bedeviled by midnight mictration oh, too much. I mean, maybe one. Maybe not even one. I woke up this morning and felt quite rested, but apparently a hard day of podcasting has now got me back into sleep mode. So just tuck your. I'll rest up before tomorrow. I'm going to be in Los Angeles, checking in from down there from Hollyweird. Actually, you know what? I'm staying close to where I was last time. We'll see if that Jesus is still roaming Hollywood Boulevard.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, now you need a photo with him this time.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, maybe so. So, anyway, we'll see you for that. In the meantime, have a great Wednesday, everyone. Take care of yourselves, and please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to all. Power out.