#4353 It’s Not A Krang!

Summary

Podcast Summary: TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live - Episode #4353 "It’s Not A Krang!"

Release Date: December 6, 2024

In episode #4353 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live, hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh delve into a mix of personal anecdotes, behind-the-scenes insights from the entertainment industry, and a deep dive into a gripping real-life news story. Summer Ash complements the discussion with her sharp wit and insightful commentary. This episode masterfully balances humor with serious discourse, providing listeners with an engaging and thought-provoking experience.

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1. Luke’s Day in Los Angeles and Personal Reflections

The episode kicks off with Luke recounting a humorous yet frustrating experience involving a Cartoon Network-themed toiletry bag he left behind at a Los Angeles hotel ([00:00]). His playful interactions with hotel staff highlight his knack for storytelling and setting a light-hearted tone for the episode.

Interview with Comedian Nikki Glaser: Luke shares his day spent with Nikki Glaser, the host of the Golden Globes. Despite Nikki’s reputation for sharp, often biting humor during roasts, Luke emphasizes her genuine kindness and professionalism:

“She was so, so nice about it. She’s an incredibly kind person.” ([02:10])

They visit a writer’s room where Nikki collaborates on jokes for the Golden Globes, providing listeners with an exclusive glimpse into the creative process behind major entertainment productions.

Self-Reflection at the Comedy Club: Later, Luke discusses his visit to the Improv in Hollywood, where he experiences a moment of introspection. Amidst the laughter and darkness of the club, he contemplates the life choices that have led him to age 48, pondering:

“Every life decision that I've made up to this age of 48 has been a mistake.” ([04:25])

This moment of vulnerability adds depth to the episode, resonating with listeners who may share similar feelings about their own life paths.

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2. The Eye Swelling Saga

A significant portion of the episode revolves around Luke’s ongoing battle with a swelling beneath his eyelid. The conversation with Summer Ash delves into the medical details and emotional turmoil associated with his condition.

Medical Challenges: Luke describes the frustration of dealing with a non-pus-filled pustule, which his doctor suspects might be cellulitis:

“I think the tissue is inflamed... it’s cellulitis.” ([05:11])

The hosts humorously navigate the complexities of medical jargon and Luke’s attempts to manage his appearance, especially during high-stakes interviews like the one with Nikki Glaser.

Filming Complications: Luke recounts the challenges faced during his interview due to the swelling, including attempts by the production team to minimize its appearance on camera:

“They kept trying to low key it, but it looked like I had a black eye.” ([21:07])

This segment not only provides a personal glimpse into Luke's life but also touches on the pressures of maintaining appearances in the public eye.

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3. The Gripping NYC United Healthcare Executive Shooting

Transitioning from personal stories, Luke and Andrew delve into a chilling real-life news story that has captured widespread attention: the shooting of a United Healthcare executive in New York City.

Incident Overview: Luke paints a cinematic picture of the event, highlighting its shocking nature and the elusive suspect:

“It feels like a movie we’ve watched or something. But it’s real life.” ([02:19])

Public and Social Media Reaction: The discussion shifts to the polarized reactions on social media platforms. While some express sympathy and understanding of the perpetrator’s possible motives rooted in frustrations with the healthcare system, others celebrate the act, reflecting a deep societal divide.

“People were absolutely in full-on roast meme mode within an hour of the whole thing.” ([44:39])

Societal Implications: The hosts explore the undercurrents of anger and helplessness within society, particularly towards large corporations and the healthcare industry. They discuss the “eat the rich” sentiment and how systemic issues can lead to extreme actions by individuals feeling powerless.

“I think this is related to the kind of business that this guy’s in... people are just being like, absolutely in full-on roast meme mode.” ([52:32])

Legal and Ethical Considerations: Further analysis touches on the complexities of the Second Amendment, the legality of silencers, and how these factors play into the broader narrative of personal frustration leading to violence.

“How can you make an argument for, well, I need to shoot something in silence, but I’m not up to any good.” ([65:13])

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4. Notable Quotes and Insights

Throughout the episode, Luke and Andrew intersperse their conversation with memorable quotes that encapsulate their perspectives:

• Luke on Life’s Mistakes:

  “Every life decision that I've made up to this age of 48 has been a mistake.” ([04:25])

• Andrew on Public Reactions:

  “I love when the media... they have to report things like, you know, it’s possible...” ([45:29])

• Summer on Social Media Trends:

  “It’s like the eat the rich movement to... they are taking up this mantle.” ([52:32])

These quotes not only highlight the hosts' viewpoints but also serve as reflective moments for listeners to ponder their own societal and personal issues.

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5. Concluding Thoughts

As the episode winds down, the hosts touch upon lighter topics, including humorous references to Jeremy Renner's commercials and playful banter about everyday mishaps. They also acknowledge their listeners and donors, expressing gratitude for the community that supports TBTL.

Through a blend of personal storytelling, critical analysis of current events, and sharp humor, episode #4353 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live delivers a comprehensive and engaging listen. Whether navigating the challenges of personal health or dissecting the complexities of societal frustrations, Luke, Andrew, and Summer offer a nuanced perspective that both entertains and enlightens.

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Notable Quotes:

• Luke Burbank: “She’s so, so nice about it. She’s an incredibly kind person.” ([02:10])
• Andrew Walsh: “I think this is related to the kind of business that this guy’s in...” ([52:32])
• Summer Ash: “It’s like the eat the rich movement to... they are taking up this mantle.” ([52:32])

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Key Takeaways:

• Personal Struggles: Luke’s candid discussion about his eye condition provides an authentic look into the pressures faced by public figures.
• Industry Insights: Behind-the-scenes stories from the Golden Globes writers’ room offer valuable insights into the entertainment industry.
• Societal Commentary: The analysis of the NYC shooting and its broader implications underscores the deep-seated frustrations within society, particularly towards the healthcare system.
• Engaging Dialogue: The dynamic interplay between the hosts ensures a balanced mix of humor and serious discourse, keeping listeners both entertained and informed.

For those interested in a podcast that seamlessly weaves personal experiences with incisive commentary on pressing societal issues, TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live episode #4353 is a must-listen.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

Stay at a hotel in Los Angeles. And when I got back, I realized I left my toiletry back at the hotel in Los Angeles. And it was a really nice one sent to me by the Cartoon Network. Had cartoons all over it. I wanted it back. I called up the hotel. I got in room 318. I left my toiletry back. It's got cartoons all over it. Guy's like, oh, yeah, we found that. I was like, great. Can I get it back? He's like, can you describe the cartoons? Did you think I was calling you on the off chance that someone left behind the toiletry bag with cartoons on it? Like, I'm in the market for one, don't know where to find one. So I'm calling hotels all day long, hoping for a miracle, maybe. I got an anonymous tip. Some guy comes up to me in an alley. Todd, don't ask who I am. But if you're in the market for half a bottle of dandruff shampoo and five dusty Viag, call this hotel, tell me room 318. You left your toiletry bag. It's got cartoons all over it. What kind of cartoons? They'll never ask you that.

[Andrew Walsh]

TBTL.

[Summer Ash]

Guess what day it is Guess what day it is.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's party Friday Gonna get down on Friday Everybody's looking forward to the weekend hey, it's Adrian making another joke for you today. So I always knock on the refrigerator door before I open it. You know what? There might be salad dressing.

[Summer Ash]

All I know is this violates every.

[Andrew Walsh]

Canon of respectable broadcasting.

[Summer Ash]

I don't know, man. Have a good show, dummies. What you do is so important.

[Andrew Walsh]

All right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

[Summer Ash]

We're getting medium play on three independent radio stations in Central Europe.

[Andrew Walsh]

My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host. What the hell is even that? Coming to you from the Madrona Hills studio perched high above the mighty Columbia.

[Summer Ash]

Bring it back home, baby.

[Andrew Walsh]

Bring it back home or it is a cold day. Boy, things are getting chilly. When I walked out of the Portland International Airport this morning, flying up from Los Angeles, I noticed a real temperature shift out here. But it is beautiful. It is nice. Oh, Ma. Pa. It's just beautiful. I had the thought as I was driving back up here to Google when the rainiest months are in the Pacific Northwest. Because I'm wondering if. Feels like it's actually been pretty okay for a while. There must be some, like, colder but drier winter Months that I can kind of take as a somewhat of a positive. This is not somewhat of a positive. This is an enormous positive. Folks, we've made it to episode 4353 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. I had a really fun day in Los Angeles yesterday talking to the comedian Nikki Glaser, who's going to be hosting the Golden Globes. And she was. Is absolutely as nice and thoughtful as you could imagine for somebody who's really become famous for saying super mean things in these roasts. Her actual personality, so, so kind. And it was a fun day. We got to sit in on the writers room, them riffing, riffing on jokes for the Golden Globes and then went to a comedy club last night, the Improv in Hollywood. And that was when I started to realize that every life decision that I've made up to this age of 48 has been a mistake. So maybe we'll get into that. Also, I'm obsessed, as many of you are, with the hunt for the suspected shooter in the New York City United healthcare incident. It's something that's. It's cinematic. I mean, it's. It's obviously tragic, it's very serious, but it's also feels like a movie we've watched or something. But it's real life. Anyway, we'll talk about that too. Oh, and we're going to talk to this guy. Longest running cobro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ship. Sometimes people refer to us as kind of like work spouses. Sometimes I call him my work wife.

[Summer Ash]

That's my wife.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Summer Ash]

Good morning, Luke. Are you ready to go under the knife today?

[Andrew Walsh]

I am hoping. I've never wanted an extremely painful procedure committed against my eyelid like I do right now.

[Summer Ash]

Can I just give a quick background for listeners who don't know the backstory here?

[Andrew Walsh]

Sorry, if you didn't listen to the old episodes, you missed it.

[Summer Ash]

Luke met somebody named Jigsaw who promises.

[Andrew Walsh]

If Luke comes visiting. Checked to this sewer pipe right now. And I gotta get out of here.

[Summer Ash]

No, actually, let's start with yesterday. You know, you went into this interview with Nikki, very concerned about this swelling you have underneath your eye. This. What would you call, pustule? What would you call it? A sty. Whatever.

[Andrew Walsh]

Pustule. Gross.

[Summer Ash]

I don't know.

[Andrew Walsh]

Please don't pick the. It's a Pete. Postal weight. The noted British accent.

[Summer Ash]

Oh, that's what. That's what I said, you listening closely?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I'm very. It's very important to me that people know it's not filled with pus.

[Summer Ash]

Okay, sorry, wrong word.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I only know that because my doctor, Dr. Svabodka, the other day, she poked it and she goes. And I won't do the accent, but she said, no, that's solid.

[Summer Ash]

That's good. I guess that's what you want to hear from your doctor.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I actually wish it was full. No, I wish it was full of fluid because that's the kind of thing you could easily drain out. I think it has.

[Summer Ash]

You think it's a bb?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, it's. I think it's that the tissue is inflamed. And like I said, one of the doctors who was being texted with over, hopefully a secure HIPAA network was saying, well, we got to make sure it's not mrsa. And she was like, it's not mrsa. And then he used another one. Oh, cellulitis.

[Summer Ash]

You don't like the sound of that, do you?

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't at all.

[Summer Ash]

I can just tell you don't like the sound of it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think that's a. Just because I think that's a much. My guess would be that's a much more involved situation than just, I had a duct in my eyelid that got blocked up, I think, from Visine, and then it. Instead of fixing itself, which is what typically would happen, it got infected and now I have mrsa.

[Summer Ash]

I think where we're at, can I. I actually have more practical questions for you. We need to actually get some real answers. But first, all I've been thinking about.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is this eye for five days. I'm more than happy to discuss it. I have so many thoughts.

[Summer Ash]

Before we get into that, though, let's talk about protocol here. You mentioned that these doctors are sort of texting with each other and you're hoping that it was on some sort of a secure network.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Summer Ash]

How shocked would you be if they were using Jeremy Renner's social media Renner Verse website to talk about your eye?

[Andrew Walsh]

They had basically bought it at auction and had resurrected the Renterverse. I'm just going to see if I still have it, if I still have the icon. Oh, baby, look at this. Yeah, I've still got the Jeremy. Oh, unable to install Jeremy Renner.

[Summer Ash]

Oh, no, the app. You still had the app on there?

[Andrew Walsh]

I still had the tile and it's got a very smoldering Jeremy Renner on it. But when you try to redownload it, it says that it's not able to. It's unable to download the Jeremy Renner.

[Summer Ash]

Actually, that would be funny. You know how sometimes like an. Well, this happens in all kinds of, I think sciences. But like, I think sometimes somebody might be working on a project, like some sort of software, you know, app style project, and they think it's gonna be one thing, but it turns out that, well, our original plan isn't exactly working out. But the byproduct of it is this thing is like super secure. Or it could be used for anti malware or something. Like, what if that's what had been the story with the Jeremy Renner verse that like, okay, a social media site based around one celebrity personality that didn't work out so well. But it turns out he accidentally invented the most secure way for doctors to talk to each other.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's so genius. That is so genius. That's Jeremy Renner finding out that he's accidentally designed the world's most secure app.

[Summer Ash]

I forgot he was in a band or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that his ice track?

[Summer Ash]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think that was. And then I believe that the band was featured in. And you know, by the way, we wish Jeremy Renner. Well, I know he went through a whole thing.

[Summer Ash]

Sure, he's a great guy.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, but he was grievously injured.

[Summer Ash]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, no, of course.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know he's been okay from that.

[Summer Ash]

But you remember that he like, he had a big comeback on a commercial. Do you remember this commercial? He doesn't.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, that's the thing where. Well, I think it was a car commercial. But it involved his band, right?

[Summer Ash]

No, no, the one I'm thinking of is after this accident, you know, obviously. And it was a very, very serious accident. And he went away, you know, kind of went out of the spotlight for a long time. But then I think his kind of grand return was for some, he's in. I know that he's in his kitchen, like, you know, on tv, he's in a kitchen in a robe, in a very comfy looking, like terry cloth robe, as if he's been like kind of sleeping or recuperating. And then I believe his daughter or a child or maybe an adult child comes into the kitchen and says, dad, you know, are you okay? And then I think he like flips a pancake onto a plate and then.

[Andrew Walsh]

Backflips silk almond milk.

[Summer Ash]

Yes. And it's kind of like a back.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Summer Ash]

Super Bowl. Of course, Renner would not do this anywhere else but the Super Bowl. Do you have it there?

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly how Right.

[Summer Ash]

Am I, by the way?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, let's watch it together. There's probably. I mean, the height of irony is I probably have to click through an ad before I can play this ad for you. But.

[Summer Ash]

Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, actually, we're. Listen, this. We're right here. It is Silk.

[Summer Ash]

Okay. Yep.

[Andrew Walsh]

Featuring Jeremy Renner.

[Summer Ash]

Yep.

[Andrew Walsh]

From Super Bowl 58. So it's from last year. And he's walking into the kitchen, and you're right, he's in his bathroom and he's kind of holding his lower back like.

[Summer Ash]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

The way that a lot of us feel early in the morning as we're just starting to get moving. Here we go. Goes to the refrigerator, pulls out a thing of silk, takes a drink, takes a swig.

[Summer Ash]

I feel good.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's making like a sort of a protein shake with silk and veggie or. And fruits. But he's being real cool. Like he's. He's doing like, it's almost a Tarantino style 360 spin with the knife, and he's chopping the strawberries up. And he is absolutely in his glory right now. I feel good. Kicks the carton of silk into his coffee cup, but in a real cool kind of Rube Goldbergy way where it just kind of like lands on it and starts pouring. Jumps on the kitchen island. He's firing pancakes like he's a disc golf champion, and they're landing right on the plate. So good. I got you. Hello, dad. Yeah, you know, just getting back in my routine. Ah, I can't believe that. Totally missed my radar at the time. So. Yeah, you're right. There's a man I. There's the.

[Summer Ash]

I nailed a lot of that is a kid.

[Andrew Walsh]

You were spot on.

[Summer Ash]

Yeah. He doesn't do a flip, but he's sort of like.

[Andrew Walsh]

He jumps up on the kitchen island in a real acrobatic way.

[Summer Ash]

And it's. I mean, this. I mean, Silk offered him the opportunity to have a comeback commercial because it begins with him creaky from the accident, but by the end, he's singing James Brown's I Feel Good, which. That's one of those songs when I hear it, you know, I was gonna say, no offense to James Brown, but, you know, whatever. I think he's got some reputational repairs he needs to do anyway, I believe. But when I hear some. And I know that Jeremy Renner is not a boomer, and I'm not trying to go after boomers. Some of my favorite listeners and donors are boomers. But there are certain songs that are sort of Like I've been hearing them since the 80s that represent a certain vibe. Like Bad to the. I don't know if Bad to the Bone is a good example, but there's another one from the 70s that I feel like you anytime in the. Yes, right. Sort of like that vibe. But what's the one? Oh man. There's not the song by war from the 70s. There's another song that is like Constant Wild Thing by the Trogs was always a stand in, you know, the sort of like that generation stand in for like this is not your dad's Oldsmobile.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's the frogs. What is the least, what is absolute least amount of work we could do as an ad agency. Right. Right now. To indicate something in this commercial. Oh, wild thing. Sure.

[Summer Ash]

Yeah. To indicate that this grandma isn't your usual grandma. This grandma has a radical dude wild side.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Summer Ash]

So.

[Andrew Walsh]

And you feel like. I feel good is a little bit on the line with that. Here's the thing. You're right though. You were very right about the commercial. You've got the sort of subtext of like everybody knows Jeremy Renner got injured in this accident and he's letting everyone, including Hollywood know that he is doing well. I'm just wondering what is above the subtext.

[Summer Ash]

That's what I mean. I guess you would say the text.

[Andrew Walsh]

Did you see that coming?

[Summer Ash]

No, I didn't. But great callback. I recommend movie. I think you'd like it. I think you'd like it as a full ass adult. You certainly would have loved it in your 20s, I think Barcelona.

[Andrew Walsh]

So they may have been using the Renner app to communicate. But anyway, the point was the one doctor was who I never actually was able to visit was mainly what was happening was the eye doctor. The eye specialist is who is apparently the only person who's allowed to like do more than prescribe me an antibiotic. Like they might be able to drain whatever's going on. Although I've already established it is not pus filled. It is decidedly not pus filled. At least I hope not. And, or maybe I don't know, I don't know what's going to happen in a couple hours when I go down there. But. But the point is my doctor was being such a champ and she was trying so hard to basically like. And we've all been in this work situation where you need a favor from someone who's like harried and you're, and you're trying to figure out how to like, you know, whether it's like we're at Cairo, and it's an engineer. I need Paul Carvalho to literally gonna.

[Summer Ash]

Say when you need an engineer's help at a radio station. Exactly.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like. And they're busy, and you're trying to, like, get kind of move to the front of the line. You're trying to be really, like, cool, fun guy, not. And not be a jerk, but kind of get slightly preferential treatment. My doctor, who I was seeing in that moment, was really trying to get the eye guy to do that. And the eye guy was. He was kind of. He was being a real Dane. He was like. He kept coming up with reasons. He kept coming up with reasons over the Renner app that I was. Not that he didn't want to see me. 1. Maybe I have MRSA, which is, like, not his department. Maybe I have cellulitis. He kept just going like. I think it's a lot of things that don't involve me looking at this eye.

[Summer Ash]

Yeah, right.

[Andrew Walsh]

And so that. What ended up happening was I was able to get an appointment, but not for that day. That would have been on Tuesday. So it's for this afternoon. So my initial plan had been to have a slightly less hectic time in L. A and maybe do the today's episode from down there and then come home, etc. But no, I came home bright and early this morning so I could get here, do the show with you, check in with Walt B. Who's working away in the house this week, and then head down to the doctors to get this, hopefully. I mean, really what I want them to do. And I'm already worried I'm going to be disappointed, Andrew, which is. I know we were gonna talk about yesterday and Nikki Glaser and my eye thing here, I'll give you the short version.

[Summer Ash]

Just give me a quickie on that.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was mortifying. She was so nice about it. She's an.

[Summer Ash]

Did you lie?

[Andrew Walsh]

I did not lie. In fact, I went around and around with either, like, don't say anything about it or say something. Either address it immediately or just pretend like it's not there. But I just thought pretending was going to be more awkward and take up too much brain space for both of us. So I strolled into the glam room. We were at the Beverly Hilton Hotel. They had loaned us a suite to film in. And I. There was a room where Nikki was getting her makeup done. And I went in and I introduced myself. She was so, so nice. She said, I love your work. I saw Your piece on Taylor Tomlinson. And she'd clearly, like, watched a number of my pieces.

[Summer Ash]

Oh, you did a piece on Taylor Tomlinson? Yeah, I started following her about, I don't know, a few months ago because, you know, one of her standup clips crossed my transom, and I loved it. And the name rang a bell, but I didn't really know why. And maybe it's because you mentioned you were interviewing her. I've become quite the fan.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Taylor Thompson. Very, very funny. And. And so it was clear that. That Nikki Glaser had done, you know, a certain amount of kind of research on, like, I guess, me and the show. And, like, you know, knew what she was getting into, which I always sort of appreciate, like, somebody taking it seriously. And. And so I said, well, I told her two things. The first Way I Built a Bridge was mentioned, a weird footnote of her career, which was she used to host a show on mtv. She co hosted it with another comedian named Sarah Schaefer. Oh, yeah, And Sarah Schaefer is a friend of mine, by the way. Sarah Schaeffer will be on Livewire this Thursday, Revolution Hall, December 12th. Come see us. Also, Bruce Campbell will be there from Evil Dead and Blitzentrapper. It's a hell of a night. So Sarah Schaefer and her husband, Scott Moran were at my house in. In fact, you might have even shown up.

[Summer Ash]

Oh, I was there. You know, I was there for the interview. And you know who else was there silently in the room? My old boss, Mike Arnold. Remember that? Remember that was like a Friday. It was a Friday recording. I'm pretty sure we were, like, kind of like getting ready to.

[Andrew Walsh]

We went bowling.

[Summer Ash]

We might have. Yeah, we went bowling.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I know.

[Summer Ash]

Yeah, yeah. But Glazer wasn't there, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, no, Glazer was wherever she lived.

[Summer Ash]

Schaefer.

[Andrew Walsh]

Schaefer, Moran. Arnold.

[Summer Ash]

I thought there was another guest on the show, but maybe I'm just gonna. Maybe it was just those two when they were married. Because they're not married anymore.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, no, they're very married, I think. They weren't married the time.

[Summer Ash]

Oh, nice. Okay, cool. Anyway. Well, yeah, yeah, that's kind of a obviously somewhat vague but fond memory of mine.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, it's a very fond memory of mine. Because what happened was Sarah stepped out on, like, the porch or something, it's my memory of it. And said, I gotta take a call. And then came back in and said, you guys are the first person to hear this. I got an MTV show.

[Summer Ash]

Right, right, right.

[Andrew Walsh]

And that MTV show was the show she and Nikki Glaser hosted together. And so I figured, you know, but I also was like, I was trying to Wikipedia things to figure out, like, is everybody, is everybody cool? Does everybody like each other? Is everybody. You know what I mean? Not because I'd heard anything, but you just never know. You know, after 10 or 12 years, if you, if the first thing you say to someone is, hey, I'm good friends with, you know, fill in the blank. And the, there's, you know, it'd be like somebody saying to me, hey, I'm really good friends with Andrew. I'd be like, well, you're on the wrong foot.

[Summer Ash]

Yes, that's right. Out. Ouch.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. So I was like, I was like, I'm going to go with. I'm going to assume that everything is cool. Which by the way, it is. And was. And she was like, oh my gosh, that's amazing. Super nice, super friendly. And then the second thing I said was, I just want to let you know about a, something I did for you, honestly, because I didn't want there to be any speculation afterwards about who the most attractive person in this interview is. So I was nice enough to develop an infected tear duct in this eye which I will be having hopefully surgically removed tomorrow. But that's what's going on. And she said, this is the thing everyone has said. When I addressed this eye bump, she said, oh, I didn't even notice it. Oh, but now I can see it.

[Summer Ash]

Honestly, that is the truth. Like, I didn't notice. Well, I have now. It's all I see.

[Andrew Walsh]

I have makeup on and I again, I have, I'm. This is the most flat look. What you're seeing is the least noticeable this thing is in, in real life.

[Summer Ash]

If I look like waving at me.

[Andrew Walsh]

If it's, it has an area code. But if this is. If what you're seeing right now, Andrew, is what I just look what I look like, I wouldn't be so hung up on. It's different in real life. It's three dimensional. That's a problem. Like if you catch it. Here's what happened. So when I got to the hotel for the shoot, I got there early, which is rare for me. But that tells you how seriously I was taking all this. And I went to our great scammer guy, our great camera guy, Scott, and I said, hey, I had this thing on my eye and I'm trying, Can you try to low key it? I was like, can you try to like, I don't know, just shoot me from far away or only do this side or whatever. And he was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, we got it. And so then I'm sitting in. So they have these two chairs in this elaborate lighting setup that's taken hours to set up. And I'm sitting, and then the producer just gets Scott and goes, can you come here? And then they go over to a monitor and he's like, well, what about. Because can you put a. And they start using camera terms I don't understand lens. Like filter terms. And they're both just. I can't see the monitor, but they're both looking at the monitor and they're diagnosing a very serious problem, which is my eye bump.

[Summer Ash]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Because it's making a shadow. Because how the light is. So it's looking like I have a black eye now, which I don't. But it's just because it's protruding in a way that even though, like, it's all about the angles. And so they did everything they could to try to low key it. Anybody? Everybody watch this piece whenever it comes out and see if you can spot my eye.

[Summer Ash]

I like the fact that it's so big. It's like CenturyLink Field about halfway through a game in the winter where like half the field is covered in shadow and the other half of the field is blown out in light. You can barely.

[Andrew Walsh]

Jerry Jones refuses to put up any kind of curtains.

[Summer Ash]

Nikki Glaser looks like she's in some sort of a noir film because she's half shadow because of this protrusion on your face.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, she was. This is the thing. She was so well put together, you know, just a physically quite flawless person. And. And we're in this, like, very well lit, like, there's no hiding from this. That's the problem. There are these giant. There's a number of giant network television cameras pointed at our faces and there's just like. So I was kind of like asking a lot of questions. Kind of like, you know, I don't know, like leaning in, like. So what do you think about that? Try to, like, somehow I don't want.

[Summer Ash]

Half of your mouth for some reason.

[Andrew Walsh]

Just trying to favor. So anyway, Glazer, like, I bet you anything when the poor editor has to look at what we call the cutaway shots, you know, so that's like the person I'm interviewing is talking about something, and then we need to make an edit point because maybe they kind of go off topic or whatever. And then you come back, you finish that statement with something they said. A little later on. And then what you need. Because the person is. There's an edit on. The person who's talking is. You need something else to show. And usually that's just my face kind of nodding like.

[Summer Ash]

Or if you're William Hurton network news, it's you crying. A fake.

[Andrew Walsh]

Precisely.

[Summer Ash]

Do you remember that plot point? It's a big thing. They cut. They do a cutaway of him, but he's fake crying in it. And they punched it in later. And Minnie drop. No, I'm sorry. Who's the other person? Whoever has ethics in that movie is very, very upset with that. It's a big turning point in the movie.

[Andrew Walsh]

If you're Keith Morrison, famously of Dateline NBC fame, it's a lot of, like, kind of odd. I feel like Keith Morrison is leaning into it now. Like, when I. When I see a finished story on cbs, I don't. I've never asked the editor, could you use a different cutaway of me? I just deal with it, and it never makes me feel good, but it is what it is. But the Keith Morrison, literally, the cutaways of Keith Morrison are their own ugly sweater on TikTok you can currently purchase.

[Summer Ash]

Oh, really? You can get a sweater with his visage on it, you mean?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, and he's like. Like he's. You know, Bill Hader kind of made. Made on snl. Did these, like, pretty funny impressions of him. Basically, the way that. What. The way it reads is that Keith Morrison is talking to somebody about a terrible event, but he's kind of titillated by it or something because of the cutaways that they tend to use.

[Summer Ash]

I see.

[Andrew Walsh]

Which I don't think is really how he feels. All that is to say we got through the interview, she's incredibly nice, and didn't say anything. And then we. And then we went to this writer's room, which was great. But again, I'm just like, every new scenario, I have to just kind of, like, psych myself up to be like a guy with a. With. With a sort of a, you know, unattractive thing on his eyeball. And then finally, the best part was we went to the comedy club. And the thing about comedy clubs is they dark. So as soon as we got into the Hollywood improv, I was like, now this is my light level. This is great. I'll grow another one on the other eye. I don't. I dig gaff. I don't give a frick because no one can see me. I literally felt my anxiety level drop by, like, 30 basis points because I was in this comedy club where the light was low. That was all I needed.

[Summer Ash]

Did I already say this to you when we were having the conversation earlier this week that maybe you could have just done your best impression of a Milford man or a Milford boy from.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't even know what that is.

[Summer Ash]

From Arrested Development, remember? Geez Louise. Not. Not Job. Tony Hale's character. Why am I blanking?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah, sure, Tobias.

[Summer Ash]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sorry. Buster.

[Summer Ash]

Buster. Good Lord, my brain. Oh, my brain. I need. I need to take those things that you give somebody who's having a heart attack with the. Yeah, I need to put those right off my temples and just give it a Brain fibrillators.

[Andrew Walsh]

Just give it a. I believe that's a plot point they explore in One Flew over the Cuckoo's Bus.

[Summer Ash]

Oh, shoot. You're right.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think you're describing essentially shock treatment.

[Summer Ash]

I think that has a happy ending. Pretty. If I. If I remember correctly, and I think I do. No, but anyway, he went to Buster. Buster went to Milford, like a school where boys were not supposed to be seen or heard. And like, he ended up staying there an extra four years or something because he was so good at not being seen or heard. They forgot he was there. And they'll just show, like, images of him just, like, peeking around a corner. Like you just barely see him peeking around a corner. That could have been you just hiding half of your face. Anyway, I'm glad I brought all.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you think Milford is a MILF joke?

[Summer Ash]

Now that you say it, I wonder if that's not a coincidence. I mean, that that show, like, the central tenet of that show is like, incest, essentially like that. They.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, the fact that Buster in particular has a really weird relationship with his mom and his kind, you know, mother boy and all that. I just want to.

[Summer Ash]

Part of it, but that's not. I mean, there's so. I mean, it's about the cousins who are attracted to each other. They bring the actual. I mean, by season. Is it season three? They actually bring the actor's sister on. I can't talk today. I cannot reference famous people. Jason.

[Andrew Walsh]

Jason Bateman.

[Summer Ash]

Jason Bateman's sister. They cast Justine Bateman as his love.

[Andrew Walsh]

Interest on the show.

[Summer Ash]

Everything ends up being a joke about accidental incest on that show. That is like sort of the central theme of it that runs through the entire. Throughout the entire series.

[Andrew Walsh]

I believe I just saw this. I was trying to find it on the fly. Like it was a tick tock that this is Going to be so unsatisfying because I can't remember all the details, but basically there was somebody on earthing just an insane amount of kind of like funny, not self referential, but just like layers of jokes that just go right past you in arrest development. And one of them was basically like there's three different. So there was a plot point where something happens with George Michael where they make a reference to the singer George Michael, who at the time I think had gotten in trouble for maybe like hooking up with a dude in a bathroom somewhere, like in a public bathroom. You know, George Michael from Wham.

[Summer Ash]

Yeah, I remember that happening. That happened a long time prior to the show though, right? Wasn't that more of a 90s thing or am I wrong about that?

[Andrew Walsh]

Maybe so. But they, but they. The point is that they're referencing it again. This is why this is so unsatisfying. I was googling Arrested Development bathroom recurring joke and it was. It wasn't even giving me the TV show. It was like some whole other dark web. But basically this person was going through like these other names that are randomly thrown in and there other celebrities who had been busted in a bathroom with whoever. And it was just like, I don't remember all.

[Summer Ash]

That's incredible.

[Andrew Walsh]

I hadn't. This was like I saw this three weeks ago or something and I was like, oh my gosh. Like those are jokes that nobody would ever in a million years get. But they just, you know, they just decided to throw it in, just have fun. There was another one that I saw the other day that was being highlighted that was a character on a character in a movie that was named for a Cleveland Browns punter. It was a bully from a movie that's named for like he was a Browns. And then I want to say maybe like if he was a Browns and Steeler punter, it was Gardaki.

[Summer Ash]

It was a real. From real life. You mean a real.

[Andrew Walsh]

The punter's name, Chris Garden. And then there's a bully. There's a bully in a. In a movie and they named the bully Chris Gardaki, which is an actual Browns punter. And the reason Chris Gardaki is kind of famous is because one time he flipped off. I want to say it was like the New York Giants. He flipped off the whole team because he punted it. And then after eight seconds went by, somebody just leveled him. Like it was like Lawrence Taylor. And it wasn't even a penalty at the time. So there's like a famous picture of Chris Gardaki just throwing up like the bird to an entire. Which, as a punter, you never want to do. Are you finding anything on the Internet about.

[Summer Ash]

No, I'm sorry. I wasn't Googling around. I was just enjoying your story. So it's like standing there like a cartoon. Somebody just levels them off his feet.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Late hit. I'm going. I'm going to try to get the details of this. Chris Gardaki flips off the Steelers sideline. This is.

[Summer Ash]

What year are we talking?

[Andrew Walsh]

It doesn't say the exact year. I'm just going to play the audio. I'm going to hope that this is real football audio and not somebody chopping and screwing it. So I'm going to take you, Andrew, this is really just for you, my friend. You put in a good week.

[Summer Ash]

I'm in.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is your. We're doing a half day today. This is Pittsburgh against Cleveland. Cleveland's leading 14 to 10. It's the second quarter.

[Summer Ash]

And sense of era, though, because that name doesn't even ring a bell to me. So I'm wondering.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's maybe the late 80s.

[Summer Ash]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, it's definitely, definitely like a long time ago. Wobbly kick. Shaw, a couple of steps to his left, picks it up at the 10, and Gardaki is down. No flags on the play. Bobby Shaw gets it over the 15.

[Luke Burbank]

Of the 17 yard.

[Andrew Walsh]

So Chris Gardaki is writhing on the turf, and as you heard the announcer say kind of fuzzily, Chris Gardaki is down. No penalty flag. By the way, Andrew, I mean, the. That people got away with in the NFL even like seven, eight years ago, is just unreal.

[Summer Ash]

Not even. Just got away with getting leveled as he got that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, you know who I think it was? I think it was Joey Porter.

[Summer Ash]

Okay. Yeah, that name.

[Andrew Walsh]

The infamous Joey. Andrew. This is how old I am. So. Joey Porter was a very legendary Pittsburgh Steeler, as you probably know.

[Summer Ash]

No, I didn't.

[Andrew Walsh]

He. I was watching a game and the Pittsburgh Steelers were playing and they were like, joey Porter comes out of the game. I was like, that guy is what he is ageless. It was his son.

[Summer Ash]

I was. Son or grandson? I was hoping for his grandson.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was like. I was like, what is. What sort of workout plan is this dude on? Joey Porter is still in the golly. Ageless. Nope. A whole other human being who. Who, who. Who gestated and then was born and then learned to walk and talk.

[Summer Ash]

Had his first solid food, went to school, went to.

[Andrew Walsh]

Got a bike at some point, like, went through life Went to college, by the way. You know, stayed, you know, delivered on the promise of. Because a lot of people that, you know, go play college sports, it's like, you know, they don't make it to the pros, even if they're good at high school. Like. Like, did all of it and is now playing in this game. And I thought it was his dad. Like, that amount of life went by since I last thought about Joey Porter.

[Summer Ash]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

But anyway, I'll. It's not super. What would be kind of funny. Let me see if I can find. Okay. Okay. This is Gardaki getting up. Now, I wonder how the announcer. The announcers, right. And again, there's no cart, Andrew. There's no blue tent. There's a guy who looks like, you know, your high school shop teacher in khakis and a Cleveland Browns windbreaker who's just kind of, like, leaning over. Gardaki. And some, like, new. Like, New Balance, sensible sneakers, but this is before they had cycled back into being. A cool statement, but in his defense.

[Summer Ash]

As he's smoking, he's trying not to blow the smoke directly in his face.

[Andrew Walsh]

Try not to ash into Gardaki's mouth. Okay. And that is, you know, that's something at least. I bet you that this is of that era where they won't even. They won't even reference it. But let's just see what they say. One guy, get ready. The next inning, when that pitcher comes out into the mound.

[Luke Burbank]

Look at that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Look at that is what you got. So. So Gardaki gets right up off the ground. He looks over. He's pointing at Joey Porter, and then he throws him a middle finger. And what we get from the announcers are a. Look at that. I'll play it one more time. You throw at one guy, get ready. The next inning, when that pitcher comes.

[Luke Burbank]

Out into the mound, look at.

[Summer Ash]

So they're predicting a little retribution there.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think that's where they were going with it. But anyway, interesting. So all that is to say, I have a doctor's appointment later today, and I am already getting what's. Did we ever invent a word for this, like, where you're. You're disappointed? I mean, I guess the word is anxiety, really. But, like, I'm already feeling anxious about this doctor saying to me, let's give it another week and see how the antibiotic does or something. Or, like, not like. Like, oh, no, this isn't. This is optometry. I'm just here to show you a series of letter E's and You need to see somebody else for, you know, any kind of actual, like, you know, incision. Like, I'm just worried that I'm going in thinking I'll have this thing off of my eyelid and I'm going to leave with it very much on my eyelid and something, you know, kind of like what you were going through in the early days of the stuff you were dealing with this summer. So I don't, you know, I don't know how it's going to go. But again, it's a very weird feeling to think I want them to inject or inject and also subject me to a lot of probably discomfort today because it feels like it might move me closer to not having this embarrassment that I feel pretty much 2, 4, 7, cut me.

[Summer Ash]

Isn't that they say in the boxing ring, just say that?

[Andrew Walsh]

I think. I think Sylvester Stallone says that.

[Summer Ash]

Yeah. Yeah. So there you go. That's. That. Those are your marks.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's what I'm thinking. I'm going to be begging the doctor, like, sir, could you please. Could you please do. Or, ma'am, whomever, do you know for.

[Summer Ash]

Sure that this might. Well, it sounds like not because you just said that you don't know if this doctor that you're going to see is the person who's definitely on the other end of the renter verse chats.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's not. It's a different doctor, but who is an eye specialist. So that's the whole thing. Is that like they are not none of the gps. I think the gps, actually, I think a GP maybe. Would they take something off your skin? Maybe that's for dermatologists. I. I'm getting the sense. We have doctors in the audience. They could probably tell me. I get the sense that the gps, they don't do no cutting. They don't. That's not their thing. If you're getting something hacked off of your body, you're going to a specialist, whether it's a dermatologist, if it's a molecule, or in this case an ayatologist, because it's my eyelid. But the person I'm going to is allegedly a person who can try to do something about this. So I'm really hoping that they will, that they will somehow reduce it down through draining out what is definitely not pus or, you know, or literally just take the whole thing off or something. I hope they don't just send me out with another bunch of pills.

[Summer Ash]

Then you can leave the doctor's office, put your sunglasses on to the Sound of Darner.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. My dad was like, do you need a ride home from the doctor? I was like, I'll be fine. I didn't even realize, like, oh, yeah, they. They might be sawing away on one of my eyes. It's like, I'll just. Oh, I've won. Unfortunately, I have one eyed at home a couple of times, so we're going to see what happens. But I'm. I'm hoping I'll have. The other thing I'll say just quickly, and then we can thank the donors and move on, is I was thinking about this on the plane today. Like, it's going to go from being something right now that's a little unsightly, but it's not, like, overly pronounced to something that's unmissable. Like, I'm actually going to a get together tonight with Becca at her brother and his wife's house. And if things go well today, I'll actually have probably a fairly nasty.

[Summer Ash]

You might literally need a patch.

[Andrew Walsh]

I might, yeah. Or just bandages. You know, like, it'll. It'll be worse than it is now. But what I was thinking was, I'm more okay with that. I think part of why I told Nikki Glaser I was having a procedure today is because I think we have a context for procedures. If somebody says to you, hey, I'm sorry. I just had a little. Sorry about my eye. I had a little minor eye surgery. That's like. Your brain's like, okay, we have. We. That's a thing we can comprehend. If I go, hey, I'm sorry. I have this bump on my eye, which is most likely not filled with pus, but otherwise kind of slightly indeterminate. Then we're like, all right, well, what is going on with that? Is that Master Krang from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? So I'm actually fine with telling people at the party tonight as my. As my. You know, my. My slight incision is weeping, and I look like an extra from Clockwork Orange or whatever. I'm fine telling people, oh, hey, I had a little minor eye surgery. That for some reason, doesn't make me feel embarrassed. This makes me feel deeply embarrassed as.

[Summer Ash]

Much as you just like wandering around this party muttering, it's not a crane.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's not a crank. It's not a crangle.

[Summer Ash]

Not a crager.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you for being a tale. All right, let's thank our donors today who are supporting TBTL with their financial help. We are incredibly grateful for folks like Kara Tillman of Austin, Texas.

[Summer Ash]

Thank you, Kara.

[Andrew Walsh]

Lovely.

[Summer Ash]

Austin, Texas. Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Head on down. See our pal Schaefer at the front page. Let's make it a whole thing. Let's do a whole tbtl. Austin. Fun times.

[Summer Ash]

We should maybe do that again.

[Andrew Walsh]

That was really great. So the last time we were there doing TBTL stuff is we. We drove that RV out there. We ended up at, like, Stubbs. Yeah, that was a.

[Summer Ash]

That was good barbecue. You were eating meat at the time.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'll go back to eating meat if we go back to Stubbs. I mean, for one day. For one day only. Thanks to Lisa Belonger of Neenah, Wisconsin.

[Summer Ash]

Nice. I don't know where it is, but I like it. Thank you.

[Andrew Walsh]

I do, too. Great sound to it. We love Wisconsin. We also love Lindsay Swanson, who's in Portland, Oregon.

[Summer Ash]

Hey. Hey.

[Andrew Walsh]

What a town. I'll be in Portland, Oregon, tonight with or without an eye patch. Lindsay. I'll tell you when I know. Rebecca Pappas is in Seattle, Washington. Nice.

[Summer Ash]

I'll be in Seattle tonight.

[Andrew Walsh]

Great. Yes, you will. With two eye patches, which you'll be at Bad Alberts. I went by Bad Alberts this weekend with Becca. We. We went to Ballard to go shopping. I can't recommend that highly enough, by the way. If you're just looking to kill a Sunday afternoon, go just. Those stores on Ballard Avenue are just beyond, beyond charming. I love the whole thing so much. But we went by Bad Alberts, and I was like, that's Andrew's favorite bar to go to after the doctor, sort of. I was like. I was like, baseball season. If he's got an appointment, he has to go to his happy place. Is Bad Alberts watching the Mariners after the appointment is over?

[Summer Ash]

Would that be like talking fisherman there? Yeah, it's. I wouldn't say.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, that wasn't a judgment.

[Summer Ash]

No. I mean, the thing is, favorite place. I think I would take the. Maybe I would take the Smokehouse over that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Summer Ash]

But. But yeah, I do. I do. There's a lot of good things going on for Bad Alberts especially, of course, as off discussion.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, you want to talk about.

[Summer Ash]

Bad to the bone, the logo of the fat cat with sunglasses.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, internal dialogue, if you will. The internal soundtrack of that cat could be nothing less than bad to the.

[Summer Ash]

I can't see that sign without thinking they're nervous.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is like, from a sort of. What is that? Is the study semiotics, like the study of, like, what images represent or something. Concepts that are represented by images. If an image could represent a song in a way that Was almost our role.

[Summer Ash]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

The bad Albert cat is bad to the boat Is the music of bad.

[Summer Ash]

Absolutely.

[Andrew Walsh]

Absolutely. Stacy Moliette is in Spanaway, Washington. Stacy is good to the bone.

[Summer Ash]

Yes. I know. I don't put it that way because.

[Andrew Walsh]

Because her husband asked you to stop.

[Summer Ash]

Slightly awkward. But, yeah, true story.

[Andrew Walsh]

I have permission and I am saying that. Stacy, thank you so much for supporting tbtl. And then Joe Fulcher is in Redmond, Washington.

[Summer Ash]

Hey, now, I. I haven't been to Redmond in a long, long time.

[Andrew Walsh]

I found out I may actually be going back to Redmond. Remember how I said I was so relieved I probably was not going to be?

[Summer Ash]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Voice and face of the software concern. Literally, by saying that, I manifested an email from the software concern.

[Summer Ash]

Oh, really?

[Andrew Walsh]

Later that day, going, hey, we're just so, you know, we're. We're running things through the process of whatever to get this going. And I was like, boy, thank goodness that they were not ready to do this whole filming right now, because this would literally be the. Probably the week that I would be. I'd be, like, coming over to your house at 11, just like. Like, maybe not 11, but like 7pm Just completely fried.

[Summer Ash]

Oh, right.

[Andrew Walsh]

All right, dude. I don't know, man. Let's just talk about Jeremy Renner. Let's just get through this. Because then I'd be, like, reporting for duty on the east side like, at, like, O Dark thirty with my eye situation. I mean, honestly, I think they'd have to postpone the shoot or something.

[Summer Ash]

Yeah, or definitely. Or somehow work it into the script. Like, somehow hackers got to your eyes because of social engineering.

[Andrew Walsh]

I wasn't using. Good. I wasn't using a strong password on my island.

[Summer Ash]

Right, Exactly.

[Andrew Walsh]

I have logged onto an unsecure network at a coffee shop using a retinal scan. Actually, you know what? Hey, that's part of it.

[Summer Ash]

It's right here.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hey, David, are you listening? Free content. Kurt, can you hear me now?

[Summer Ash]

I get my beak wet in that, too, now that I've contributed.

[Andrew Walsh]

Absolutely. You kidding me?

[Summer Ash]

Hello and welcome to Top Story.

[Andrew Walsh]

All right, I know that we're kind of jumping on this a little bit late. Well, in the moment of time we live in right now, you and I are recording this on Friday the 6th. I don't know. By the time you hear this, probably definitely late. And we probably know so much more about this story. But I have to say that this shooting that happened in New York and this killing of the executive from United Health Care and then the. But kind of everything that's happened after that has been really consuming kind of my mind and my media interest. I can't think of another time in my lifetime something like this has happened that feels so. Again, I use this at the open, but kind of cinematic in that you have somebody doing a very targeted killing, obviously, but then at least as of recording time has somehow kind of of evaded full detection. Like the sort of using a silencer and running down an alley and getting on a bike and getting into Central Park. I mean it's, it's. Somebody is dead and that. I don't want to lose sight of that. I don't want to, I don't want to kind of elide that. But like the. Every other part of this, it feels like a Matt Damon movie or something. I mean, it's just totally crazy.

[Summer Ash]

Yeah. And the fact that again, as we record this, they still haven't found the person, which means, I mean, clearly it was very, very specifically planned and to send a specific message. You know, people who are following the story know that there were like message words written on these, on these shells, on these bullet things.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love when the media, the you know, self styled kind of real media, which by the way, that sounds like I don't believe that they're the real media and I actually do. But what I mean is the kind of serious media that doesn't want to say something that sounds kind of like they're putting their thumb on the scale or whatever, they have to report things like, you know, it's possible that when someone wrote delay and deny on bullets that were used to kill someone who runs a health care company, it's possible it was related to some sort of a coverage issue.

[Summer Ash]

Yeah, they keep saying that the police have not meant. The police have no motive, but there were these things written. It's like, yeah, but I mean, I guess they got to be careful. You don't want to, you don't want to I guess jump to conclusions both as, I guess the investigators and, and the gray lady, as it were.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right. And then also just the other thing that kind of I found a little bit, a little bit silly was these a few kind of like pieces I saw maybe in the Times and other places where it was just like, you know, the New York officials are desperately trying to make tourists because, you know, it's Christmas in New York. It's a big tourism time trying to make tourists, like make sure tourists know they're safe in New York. I was like, I would say you're as safe today as you were two weeks ago. As long as you're not running a healthcare company that denies people coverage, I think. I think those specific people should probably be really careful right now. I think anyone else is probably just fine.

[Summer Ash]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, the idea that they have to treat it, though, like, there's a mad. There's a. There's a mad killer loose in New York. It's like, that is not how I am reading this situation.

[Summer Ash]

I have not been obsessed with this story like, it sounds like you have been. Although I've been, you know, keeping up to date with it. I did think, and maybe somebody's already written about this, but I did sort of wonder, like, our other CEOs, like, last night, did they, like, really, like. Like, you know, get a security team around them? Like, I. I assume that a lot of people are surrounding themselves with security guards going in and out of buildings now.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think that there has been, at a corporate level, a bunch of new security that's been hired and details, you know, that have been put into place, like security details. That is of, you know, the people at the top. And again, I'm sure that it's like the Ford Motor Company is doing it. I don't have that on any specific authority, but I just mean. And I'm sure there's a lot of companies that have, like, somebody have guards sleeping outside their CEO's house who probably don't really need to do that just realistically. But you're not going to be the Fortune 500 company that didn't take action proactively here and then, you know, had some other tragedy go on. I mean, just this. I just know as much as everybody else knows about this, which is. It very much seems like a person who was looking to send a message and also who, my guess would be, had personally experienced something that had radicalized them deeply, like, in the most. In the most intense way you can be radicalized. Now, what I was really. And I want to again, please don't come at me listeners like, I'm not. I don't want to be glib, and I don't want to treat this like it's a Seahawks game because somebody lost their life and a family lost their father and their husband. And, like, that's whatever you think about the way that United Healthcare operates as a company. And I think we all think bad. That doesn't change the fact that somebody was killed. And that is not the way to deal with any of this stuff. And I just want to be like, I just can't be Clear enough about that. But also when I saw the story, you know, first it was, man, like, I was doing something for some reason. I was up really early when the story was kind of like cycling into the news cycle, and the first thing I saw was somebody shot in Manhattan. I thought, honestly, I was like a. I'm surprised that made a headline, you know, in the New York Times or whatever, because, like, that's a thing that might happen on. On an occasion, but it was midtown. And then not very long after, it was CEO of United Healthcare. And then I was like, I bet you that when the first one went out, they knew it was him, but they needed to verify. And they. They already had a sense of like, okay, this is not an. Your average crime. This is something that is. Represents a lot more. And then right after, you know, it was confirmed, it was the United Healthcare guy. The first place my brain went and probably everybody else's was, oh, somebody who got. Who was denied coverage or had their loved one denied coverage, did a thing that I'm sure many, many people have fantasized about, of how when you feel so wronged and impotent and life and death is on the line and you feel like somebody that you. That you love is having their life go away unnecessarily because of a business decision, I think that's the kind of thing that can really radicalize people. So I think I had the thought that a lot of people had, which was, I bet this is related to the kind of business that this guy's in. And then the response on Tick Tock went from, well, you know, I can see a universe in which, like, to me, a very. To me, a very. I don't know if this is a responsible take, but a kind of moderated. A moderate take would be nobody should ever hurt someone else. We should never use violence towards each other. And I really believe that. And also, you can understand to some degree a world in which someone felt so powerless that they. That they, you know, took this bad choice, which was to. Which was to end someone's life because it felt to them like the only recourse you could. And you can say, I'm not saying I understand them, but I understand a world in which this could be a motivation. Then you have what was going on on TikTok, which is people doing victory laps. Like, the tone. And Maybe this is TikTok versus a more mature social media platform. I couldn't believe it, Andrew. People were, like, celebrating this, which felt, I have to be honest with you, felt extreme to me, like, that felt kind of also not a good look.

[Summer Ash]

Well, over on Mastodon. No, just joking.

[Andrew Walsh]

What was going on on Blue Sky?

[Summer Ash]

I, you know, I was following the story mostly in the news yesterday and just like kind of reading references to this. And then whenever I, like, I had lunch with Genevieve and our pal Ders yesterday, and we were kind of talking about it at lunch and like, I. So I'm kind of like getting. I'm hearing from other people just like, the response to this has been bananas because, like you say it's either like victory laps or like a lot, you know. And what I have seen on Blue sky or Instagram have been sort of like, well, you know, the cheeky responses being like, well, unfortunately, my plan doesn't cover enough sympathy for you or whatever.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's a terrible work or something.

[Summer Ash]

Yeah, terrible bastardization of those style of jokes. But basically not just not having sympathy, but also saying like, well, you are responsible in your role in this company for not just making families poor, but for also lives that were lost as well. And so people feel. And for me, you know, again, I kind of mentioning this in casual conversation when there isn't a microphone in front of me, and I feel like you gotta be a little bit more careful when you're broadcasting even to just 10 people. Like, we are. But I don't wanna come off as like somebody who's like, trying to put everything into a pattern or. But it does feel like the eat the rich movement to. However you wanna define that. And I'm not saying about, like, that we're seeing more and more instances of people assassinating people. But generally speaking, whether you're talking about the celebration of orcas knocking over yachts, or the tragic story of that submarine that had a bunch of rich people in it, that basically they all died at the bottom of the ocean, but people were just kind of like, yeah, like, you know, I follow some, you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Know, pretty rapid look around and find out.

[Summer Ash]

Yeah, exactly. And I just feel like there is. And when you hear about this particular one, which again, was. I mean, I'll be very interested to hear if this was something that this person just planned by themselves, it sounds like that's kind of what you're assum. Or if the fact that he can't be found right now actually indicates maybe having a little bit more support in this whole thing. But clearly, again, sending a message, doing this. I mean, literally, the person who did this, I'm. I mean, I think that they are getting what they want, at least right now, in the story, which is like everybody is talking about it. They have a lot of sympathy from sort of the populace sort of in a really weird, sick, dark, like batmany way. Like. And it's kind of, it's chilling to think about, but I also sort of think that like, okay, so this company, United Healthcare has been the target of a DOJ investigation. Right. I mean, I'll just assume what I'm saying is right and you stop me if I'm wrong. But. And like there is a sort of, there's a. Beyond disheartenment, but a. Don't correct me on that one. I know it's not a word, but this feeling of, of futileness. I think futileness, especially despair. Futility is the word I'm looking for. Thank you. Coming in. Especially when you think like, well, there's no checks and balances anymore. Like, do we really think this new administration is going to really crack down on the insurance industry to make sure that they're not like harming people's lives anymore? Of course not. And so I just wonder. And again, I'm not calling for an uprising or even celebrating in any way, but I think you can see a pattern of people just being like, again, sort of just eat the rich. Taking up this mantle of just kind of saying like, we don't have recourse anymore and the world is an effed up place and we're out here dying in a certain way.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I didn't have a sense. I mean, I think generally speaking, most people feel like the American healthcare system is messed up and too much stuff is not covered by insurance. And insurance companies famously are usually. In fact, I even got like a text from Kaiser yesterday. I wish, I think I might have deleted it. I wish I wouldn't have. It was basically saying like, let's get you ahead of the curve on talking about payment options for your next procedure. In other words, they were like trying to get me to go into the app to figure out how much it's going to cost me if this doctor does decide to cut this thing off my eyelid. And basically they were already getting to the money part of things. They were first of all letting me know it's probably not all covered. I'm probably gonna have, I'll have a copay. And maybe, maybe this procedure is not. Maybe it's elective. I don't know. You know, maybe I could just walk around with a cranberry on my eyelid for the rest of my life. Point being, most people have problems with their health care providers. And I kind of knew that, but I didn't understand how deep it ran and how aggrieved people are until this guy got shot. And within an hour, I just saw post after post after post after post. That was just like, basically good. You had it coming. And I was like. It was like a temperature check on how people are feeling. And you're totally right. I hadn't thought about this either, Andrew. I completely, I think, has to do with the results of the election and the feeling that we are going into a really, really tough four years where, you know, it's like Trump announces Fox as new head of the department of hen houses. Yeah, it's just like every single. Every single department is going to be headed by somebody who spent their time in private industry trying to disassemble and deregulate everything, and now they're running all of it. And I think that that feeling, having that general feeling of kind of anxiety and impotence, it's like the third, the third time we've said impotent on this show. Is that. Does that mean anything?

[Summer Ash]

Well, we're getting older.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that a speaker yourself, dude? But anyway, yeah, I think you're right. I think that the. I think that there is a feeling of, like you said, eat the rich that is. That is rippling through the culture right now. And this, it surprised me how. No, there wasn't. I expected more people to do more disclaimers. I expected more people to say what I had just said, which was, you should never kill anyone. But also, it's bad to deny people coverage. That's what I was expecting. And it was just like, people were just like, absolutely in full on roast meme mode within an hour of the whole thing. Now, this is the other thing that I've been really debating about talking about because maybe this kind of belies what I've been saying, but. And Andrew, I hope you'll. I hope you won't think less of me when I say this, but it's like, I will admit, and I'm sorry to say this, that I am intrigued by the fact that this guy has not been caught yet and that I am. I don't want to say I'm rooting for him because if it was my dad who was. Who had been shot, I would not want the person who did it to get away way, but because of all of the catch me if you cans and the oceans 11 and all the look lore around doing something, or, you know, the, I don't know, the French connection, the whatever you Know, maybe pick a more relevant film. But, like, there is part of me, I. I don't want to say I'm rooting for him to get away, but I'm certainly intrigued about his whereabouts and the fact that they haven't caught him yet. I can't help but kind of follow it breathlessly in that way, which I feel kind of shitty about. But I'm just being honest. That's how I feel.

[Summer Ash]

Well, we've talked about this kind of reaction before, which I think is a very human reaction, even in, like, I'm gonna say, like, prison break scenarios. Remember the famous one from a while back where, like, a couple guys broke out of prison and were, like, on the lam in upstate New York. Yeah. In, like, very rural areas up in New England and then upstate New York. I think maybe they were never in New England, but either way, like, you know, that was. That was an intriguing story. I think we're just drawn to these stories, and even in those cases where there was. And again, I want to be careful here, but, like, this story we're talking about today, there are sort of, like, kind of political and social implications of the story, which makes it even more sort of intriguing and interesting. And, like, is this person, like, even though murder is a bad thing, is this sort of like a man of the people? You know? But with, like. Like a prison break, I think the dudes were just, like, gross murderers. Right. Like, I mean, like, again, like, now I'm doing moral relative.

[Andrew Walsh]

The fact that someone is.

[Summer Ash]

You just root for the person who's on the lamb. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, yeah, it's like an imp. Whether it's. Whether it's bank robbing or escaping from prison or in the case of some. Although I will tell you this. If this. If this person who lost their life, if this person who was murdered, if they had just been, like, working on a. You know, they were. They were a roofer.

[Summer Ash]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Working at the hotel. We're totally not rooting for this guy to get away, of course. Not at all. It's like. So I can't. I can't separate those two things out. I have to be honest when I say the sort of political and economic backdrop to this does affect how I think about it. Because if somebody I saw as completely innocent was gunned down, my first thought would be like, I really hope they get the guy. I wouldn't be intrigued by the guy getting away. But in this case, I'm deeply intrigued by the guy getting away. And I'm also deeply intrigued by what I think may be his undoing, which is that he was very, very savvy, it would appear about keeping his face covered and his hood up in almost every, you know, like security camera and photo. And there is, but there are two faces of his, two pictures of his entire face and they are because he was flirting with the front desk person allegedly at the hostel that he stayed in. And as I wrote on the ascendant social media platform Blue Sky, Andrew, if this guy is caught because he was trying to smash, that is an all timer, like for all of. And I know that sounds like a joke, but I mean that, I really mean that, like if that's the thing, because they say, well, we're going to run all these DNA tests and this. And you know, I'm kind of of the opinion that if he would have kept his mask up at all times, including when he was checking into this hostel, I think it would be difficult to catch him because you don't really have a good picture of his face. They have his full complete face. Somebody knows who this guy is. Like that to me. Maybe we'll find out later that he did leave some DNA at the hostel and then they found him in CODIS or something. Maybe they'll get him through more sort of uninteresting means. But as far as what I've been able to read right now, probably the worst piece of evidence against him as far as like what might actually help them catch him is this picture of his face, which allegedly was because he was flirting with the front desk person at the hostel and pulled his mask down.

[Summer Ash]

I, I hadn't heard the term flirting, but I'd seen the photos and I gotta say my initial reaction was like, oh man, this guy's handsome. And, and now that you say that, I look at this photo and he's definitely like striking a pose. You could see now that, you know.

[Andrew Walsh]

You say that CNN is describing it as fl, but by the way, the.

[Summer Ash]

DNA that they collected, which I think happened sometime during the show today, was actually from a Starbucks cup because he had gone to Starbucks and apparently they found his discarded Starbucks cup near the scene of the crime.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was gonna say, yeah, dig through a garbage can in Manhattan. It's like, which Starbucks cup do you start with?

[Summer Ash]

That's my understanding. I saw something kind of come, come through while we were talking earlier. And so that's why I want to kind of throw that in there. So it might be a combination of things at least in identifying the person. Although I don't know if like, did you have to be in it? You must have to already be in a database for the DNA to match you, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

That's my. Yes. That's my sense of things, is that if this person is. If they actually get some of his DNA and he's already in the system for something else, then he's kind of sunk. I think that will match up pretty quickly. But if he's not in the system, it doesn't really help them at all unless they catch someone who. And they don't know if it's the suspect. And then they match that. They, you know, compare the DNA. But, like, it's. It's. There's. Well, there's one other thing that I don't totally understand about this story, which is they keep describing him as running through an alley and then getting on a city bike, which is like an E bike, which is run by, I think it's, you know, city of New York or whatever, and then riding into Central Park. But I don't think you can start up an E bike without some kind of a interaction, a payment interaction. Right.

[Summer Ash]

I thought they. I thought they retracted that yesterday. I thought they were going to. Said that they think it was an E bike, but probably not a city.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like his E bike.

[Summer Ash]

Like. Yeah, yeah. One that he had access to. I think I saw them retra. I think, you know, I could be wrong. I think I saw them retract that pretty early yesterday, though.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, good. Thank you. That solves one of my questions, because I was like, you gotta. You. And like, let's say that he uses a, you know, a burner card to start the E bike. Well, like, that burner card came from somewhere. Like, anywhere you can trace something back, you're kind of. If you're this guy, you're gonna probably get caught. So that makes more sense if it was just a bike that he had stashed probably, and jumped on. But, like. So that was one thing that I didn't understand. But then, yeah, like, just the. The fact that he was clearly like, did everything in his power to avoid detection with this and had what was a weirdly effective plan of how to do this and that the thing, the petard that may hoist him, at least as far as getting caught, is that he was flirting and pulled his mask down. It's just. I kind of almost can't wrap my mind around it because, like, if that's his undoing, that's just such a. Such a basic human kind of thing, I guess, that, like, I mean, did he forget he was there to do a crime that if he's caught for it, he will literally never see the light of day again. Like, I just, I can't believe he even had the thought in his mind. I'm feeling flirtatious. Like, again, if this is the person who did it, like, I feel like my brain would be so over occupied with dread and tension and anxiety about this thing that was about to happen. Like, that's the other part of it that I can't quite square with the photo. He looks totally at ease. I'm like, I don't know. Did. Was he, was he not for sure what he was about to try to do? I don't, I don't understand how a person can look that at ease when they're about to do something that is so life changing for someone else. And for yourself. Yourself.

[Summer Ash]

It's like the equivalent of Ferris Bueller running for his life to get home. Running through a bunch of backyards and then jumping over a bikini lady suntanning in her backyard and then him stopping to flirt with her because he just. I mean, it's all Ferris Bueller.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right. It, it, yeah, it's, it's a crazy story. And, and you know, like I said, I.

[Summer Ash]

Where'd you get a silencer, by the way? Now I shouldn't even bring this.

[Andrew Walsh]

There's apparently 5,000 or 5 million. There's stories about silencers and there's a lot of them that have been sold lately.

[Summer Ash]

I don't understand why. I mean, and you and I are the wrong people to talk about it because we'll just bounce off each other and drive each other crazy because we have similar views on this stuff. But like, how does that fit into the Second Amendment? Like your, your well regulated militia needs to be able to like sneak into a place and shoot somebody silently in the night. Like, how in the world, like, is it hunting? Like, how do they. How does anybody justify the need to sell, to legally sell silencers? Are they legally sold? Huh?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, they're registered.

[Summer Ash]

You can make a, you can make an argument for, well, I need to shoot something in silence, but I'm not up to any. No good. I promise.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know. I mean, that's such. I had never thought of it that way. By the way, New York Times headline, Manhattan shooter use silencer. Nearly 5 million are registered in the U.S. great.

[Summer Ash]

And those are the registered ones. Great, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

I'd never, I had never even thought of that. Andrew, you're absolutely right. Like, how can you. I mean, look, are silencers cool? As shit in movies. Yes. If I ever imagine myself wielding a gun and doing any kind of gun stuff. Is there a silencer on there? Yes, there is because that's what happens in the movie. But like from a second amendment or from a. From a. Like this is necessary. What. What is the law abiding explanation for why you need a silencer on a gun?

[Summer Ash]

They do call me the silent Assassin, but it has more to do with my flatulence.

[Andrew Walsh]

Unfortunately, they call you the silencer sometimes on somebody's segments.

[Summer Ash]

Hey, here I go once again with the email. Every week I hope that it's from a female.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh man, it's not from a female. All right, here we are in the just absolute last moments of the week. Any emails or V mails?

[Summer Ash]

Yeah, I thought this was a fun one. This is from our friend Summer. I don't think I have to set it up.

[D]

Hoi. Hi, this is Summer Ash, your in house astrophysicist. Self proclaimed, of course, maybe a week behind. And I wanted to give props to Andrew for his prologue to Romeo and Juliet. That's exactly the same passage that I had to memorize. But then Luke's mentioning of some of the Shel Silverstein poems reminded me that there's one that I've always loved and I think of almost daily and it's the one called. Well, actually I don't know what it's called, but it goes. There's a polar bear in our Frigidaire. He likes it because it's cold in there with his feet and the meat and his face and the fish and his big hairy paws in the butter dish. He's nibbling the noodles and munching the rice. He's slurping the soda and licking the rice and he lets out a roar if you open the door. And it gives me a scare to know he's in there, that polar bear in our fidgety dare.

[Summer Ash]

So I love it.

[D]

Almost daily when I open the refrigerator, I'm like in our fidgety dare. That's it.

[Summer Ash]

Power out. Nice. I want to now. I want to.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's a great.

[Summer Ash]

I want to memorize that too, honestly.

[Andrew Walsh]

And is that. Is that. That's a shell a Silverstein too, Ash.

[Summer Ash]

Yeah, yeah, that's. Or Summer, rather. I just called Summer. According to Summer, one will do.

[Andrew Walsh]

She knows. Yeah, she answers to both. By the way, Summer, you do have the job and I don't want to take any of the shine off of it, but I think you're also the only astrophysicist who has. Has applied for the job.

[Summer Ash]

Would you call her an astrophysicist?

[Andrew Walsh]

I would. I absolutely would.

[Summer Ash]

Silencer, maybe that's how you earn the nickname.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's how we. That's how we get to the weekend, my friends. All right, that will bring us to the end of our broadcast week. Thank you so much for spending this time with us. We appreciate you all. We're gonna be back here on Monday with more imaginary radio for you, so please, please do join us for that. In the meantime, have a great weekend. Take care of yourselves. Go Seahawks. And please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Summer Ash]

And good luck to all.

[Andrew Walsh]

Power out.