#4365 Holla At Sheboygan

Summary

Podcast Summary: TBTL Episode #4365 "Holla At Sheboygan"

Date Released: December 24, 2024
Hosts: Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh
Guest: Nick Jarin
Location: Madrona Hill Studio, overlooking the Columbia River

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1. Opening and Holiday Banter (00:00 - 06:10)

The episode kicks off with Luke and Andrew immersed in a festive, albeit chaotic, holiday atmosphere. Luke humorously portrays a "fun old-fashioned family Christmas," emphasizing unity despite the holiday hustle.

• Luke Burbank:
  "No, no, we're all in this together." (00:00)

Andrew adds to the chaos, describing their situation as a "four-alarm holiday emergency."

• Andrew Walsh:
  "This is a full blown four alarm holiday emergency here." (00:08)

The dynamic between the hosts is playful, with interruptions and jokes setting a lighthearted tone for the episode.

---

2. Introduction to the Film List Segment (06:10 - 07:08)

After some initial light-hearted exchanges, Andrew introduces the main topic of the episode: Nick Jarin's list of five films ideal for holiday parties. These films are selected for their ability to spur conversation without overshadowing the party's vibe.

• Andrew Walsh:
  "Nick's list of five films that you can have playing kind of sort of in the background at your holiday party..." (06:10)

---

3. Deep Dive into Christmas Movies (07:08 - 45:55)

a. "A Christmas Story" (Number 5) (07:08 - 13:34)

Nick lauds the 1983 classic "A Christmas Story," highlighting its nostalgic feel and iconic elements like the leg lamp and the antagonistic neighbor.

• Nick Jarin:
  "1983, an absolute classic... I double dog dare you, I triple dog dare you to name me a better Christmas movie than A Christmas Story." (07:08)

The discussion touches on the film's vintage charm and its representation of 80s culture. However, Luke raises concerns about racist scenes, specifically a depiction in a Chinese restaurant, sparking a conversation about handling outdated racial portrayals in classic films.

• Luke Burbank:
  "there's that racist scene in the Chinese restaurant. Do you know the one I'm talking about?" (11:16)

• Nick Jarin:
  "I do think that it's important to keep that stuff around and continue to talk about it..." (13:05)

b. "Jingle All the Way" (Number 4) (19:46 - 22:05)

Nick discusses "Jingle All the Way," focusing on its portrayal of Black Friday madness and the fictional Turboman toy, drawing parallels to modern-day toy crazes like Buzz Lightyear from "Toy Story."

• Nick Jarin:
  "...the hot toy of that year as well. Nobody wanted Woody. Everybody wanted Buzz Lightyear." (20:26)

The conversation humorously examines the film's exaggeration of holiday shopping frenzy and its relevance to current consumer behaviors.

c. "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" (Number 3) (23:30 - 28:35)

Nick introduces both the 1966 animated version and the 2000 Jim Carrey live-action adaptation. He praises Carrey's performance and the film's set design while also critiquing its departure from the beloved original.

• Nick Jarin:
  "the Grinch is doing his daily schedule of all the stuff he has to do has now been kind of memeified on TikTok..." (25:35)

Luke expresses his unease with the film's visual portrayal, highlighting the lasting impact of iconic scenes.

d. "Home Alone" (Number 2) (28:35 - 35:05)

The hosts debate between the original "Home Alone" and its sequel, ultimately favoring the first film due to the sequel's intrusive Donald Trump cameo.

• Nick Jarin:
  "we could definitely do one movie equals one episode... we're going with the first one." (28:43)

They delve into the film's slapstick humor and the unrealistic resilience of characters surviving elaborate pranks.

• Andrew Walsh:
  "That's a traumatic brain injury that is manifest." (29:42)

e. "A Muppet Christmas Carol" (Number 1) (35:05 - 45:55)

Nick crowns "A Muppet Christmas Carol" as the top pick, appreciating its blend of Muppets' whimsicality with Michael Caine's heartfelt performance. The discussion explores the Muppets' unique ability to bring warmth and humor to classic narratives.

• Nick Jarin:
  "this is hands down one of my favorite Christmas movies..." (37:11)

They muse about potential Muppet adaptations of other beloved films, suggesting creative mashups like "12 Angry Muppets."

• Nick Jarin:
  "I would like to see Glengarry Glen Ross as a Muppet movie." (43:52)

The segment emphasizes the Muppets' timeless appeal and their capacity to infuse classic stories with charm and laughter.

---

4. Handling Racism in Classic Films (13:34 - 16:06)

The hosts address the presence of racist depictions in older films, advocating for open discussions rather than sanitization. Nick underscores the importance of preserving historical context to avoid erasing cultural memory.

• Nick Jarin:
  "If we remove it from our art, we remove it from our cultural memory as well." (13:34)

Luke and Andrew contribute personal anecdotes, reinforcing the need to confront and understand problematic elements in beloved classics.

---

5. Birthday Celebrations and Lighthearted Moments (14:00 - 28:35)

Nick unexpectedly celebrates his birthday during the episode, adding a personal and humorous touch to the conversation. The hosts engage in playful banter, highlighting the camaraderie and spontaneous nature of the show.

• Andrew Walsh:
  "That's my birthday! Happy birthday!" (14:01)

The segment includes humorous attempts to congratulate Nick, blending personal moments with the ongoing discussion.

---

6. Creative Ideas for Future Content (36:08 - 45:55)

Nick and the hosts brainstorm imaginative concepts for Muppet adaptations of various films, showcasing their creativity and deep appreciation for both classic movies and the Muppets' versatility.

• Nick Jarin:
  "12 angry muppets." (40:54)

This playful exploration underscores the show's focus on blending humor with thoughtful commentary on film and culture.

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7. Acknowledgments and Donors (46:08 - 51:36)

The episode transitions to recognizing and thanking the show's donors and supporters. Luke and Andrew express gratitude to individuals like Alan Jones from Los Angeles, Brian Dast from Portland, Oregon, Chris Rupp from Shoreline, Washington, Dave Bledsoe from New York City, and Rachel Potes from Kalamazoo, Michigan.

• Andrew Walsh:
  "Thank you so much to all of our donors for supporting TBTL..." (50:22)

They engage in light-hearted interactions, mentioning local references and shared experiences, further emphasizing the community-centric spirit of the podcast.

---

8. Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts (51:36 - 54:58)

The hosts wrap up the episode with final touches, including a humorous reference to a Christmas commercial parody and plans to discuss Kendrick Lamar's new record in future episodes.

• Andrew Walsh:
  "Have a great Tuesday, have a great Christmas Eve..." (54:21)

Nick signs off by promoting his presence on social media platforms, encouraging listeners to follow him for more content.

• Nick Jarin:
  "I am Slow Nick. S L O W N I C K on both Bluesky and Letterboxd." (53:46)

The episode concludes on a cheerful note, celebrating the festive season while maintaining the show's characteristic blend of humor and insightful discussion.

---

Notable Quotes:

• Luke Burbank:
  "No, no, we're all in this together." (00:00)

• Nick Jarin:
  "1983, an absolute classic... I double dog dare you, I triple dog dare you to name me a better Christmas movie than A Christmas Story." (07:08)

• Nick Jarin:
  "If we remove it from our art, we remove it from our cultural memory as well." (13:34)

• Nick Jarin:
  "12 angry muppets." (40:54)

• Andrew Walsh:
  "Happy birthday!" (14:01)

---

Conclusion:

Episode #4365 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live offers listeners a vibrant mix of holiday cheer, thoughtful film analysis, and engaging banter. With Nick Jarin's expert insights into classic Christmas movies and the hosts' playful interactions, the episode serves as both an entertaining and reflective exploration of holiday traditions in cinema. The discussion on handling outdated racial depictions in beloved films adds depth, while the creative brainstorming and heartfelt acknowledgments foster a sense of community and anticipation for future content.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun old fashioned family Christmas. No, no, we're all in this together.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is a full blown four alarm holiday emergency here.

[Luke Burbank]

We're gonna press on and we're gonna.

[Nick Jarin]

Have the hap hap.

[Luke Burbank]

Happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby Tap dance with Danny K. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney night, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch.

[Andrew Walsh]

Of this side of the nuthouse. You're goofy.

[Luke Burbank]

Tbtl. It's the first line of the film, man.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's gotta be on the money here.

[Nick Jarin]

I value confidentiality and paradoxically, I don't care who knows it.

[Luke Burbank]

No, it's good, you know, I mean.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sure, I'm depressed and I'm constantly sick.

[Luke Burbank]

And nothing really brings me joy, but.

[Andrew Walsh]

It just feels right. This banner has letters on it. They spell Bon and voi.

[Nick Jarin]

Well, those aren't words.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, snap.

[Nick Jarin]

This comedian was crazy in the 80s.

[Luke Burbank]

With his raw and delirious routines.

[Nick Jarin]

Jared.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, he's hilarious dog.

[Luke Burbank]

Who is Rick Moranis?

[Nick Jarin]

Everybody can laugh.

[Andrew Walsh]

It doesn't have to just be the idiots. Let's get to the jokes. Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome everyone to a Tuesday edition of TBTL show that just might be too beautiful to live. You see the reactive nature of this program? I don't mean reactive in a bad way. I mean the way that this show can just pivot. Yesterday we're talking about the movie National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, and then today the intro to the show is from the very same film. That is the kind of agility that you need in a podcast, my friends, and we are here to bring it to you. My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host at the Madrona Hill Studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia. Right over there is my agile friend, Mr. Andrew Walsh, the longest running cobra of the show. Hey there, spry.

[Luke Burbank]

They call me the world's spryest producer. Luke.

[Andrew Walsh]

Uh huh.

[Luke Burbank]

Am I using spry right there? I think spry. Agile.

[Andrew Walsh]

Nick. Jarin, is he using the term spry correctly there, do you think?

[Nick Jarin]

Oh, yeah, that definitely checks out. Yeah, yeah, Spryest guy I know. Okay, I think Andrew. I think Andrew Spry.

[Luke Burbank]

Walsh, you know what? We just asked you for a clarification on the definition. No, that was all we needed. We didn't need the sarcastic elaboration.

[Andrew Walsh]

Because here's the thing about being spry. I feel that it's only applied to people who are Maybe older, but are kind of like who are. Who are still quite active and you know what I mean? Like I feel like I don't hear about like a 7 year old being spry.

[Nick Jarin]

No, it's for people who don't grunt when they get up.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh no. Okay, well then that takes me out of that. Let's call me cat. Like. But a cat that is certainly burned through at least nine of the number of the lines. Yes, exactly. Because I'll tell you what, I have not gotten out of a car without making an audible sound in years. I don't know, I don't remember what that was like.

[Andrew Walsh]

Are you getting the targeted ads on Instagram and other places for that handle that you can put into the part of the door mechanism of your car? You know, when you open your door, depending on how your car is designed, there's a little metal kind of square that I think is where the door latch kind of attaches to in the kind of. So that the door is now attached to the opening for the door. And there's some product that's like a handle that's got a little triangle on the end of it. And the idea is you put that into that little metal welded square and then it's a handle to get out of your car.

[Luke Burbank]

I have not seen that, but every.

[Andrew Walsh]

Time I see it I think, wouldn't mind one of those.

[Luke Burbank]

Yep. Getting closer. I, and I'm not, not to make this like, not to make Nick feel bad for making fun of my inability to move, but honestly since my arthritis has like the swelling has, has gone away. Yeah, right. Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, seriously, I now feel kind of bad to actually do have a medical thing.

[Luke Burbank]

But I honestly the, the initial swelling of all of I dealt with this summer has seemed to have passed because of this medicine I'm on. But it has seemed to wreak some sort of havoc with my joints that my doctor says will probably get better over time, especially if I exercise, which I need to do more of. But right now I do this move, I do this move which I just never thought about how I got out of cars before. And our car is like low to the ground too. It's not particularly easy to get in and out of. And so I am now doing this thing where I have both of my feet swung out of the car and on the ground before I'm picking myself up out of the car. Does that make sense?

[Andrew Walsh]

Friggin need this thing.

[Nick Jarin]

I was, you're right in position to use the thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Use case for that thing.

[Nick Jarin]

You guys Put that in the ad.

[Luke Burbank]

You guys are, like, using one foot to get out of a car. And, like, it never occurred to me that I spent 48 years doing that. 47 years doing that. And it never occurred to me that that was a privilege. Now I'm just, like, swinging my legs out of the car.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's too bad because I already got you your Christmas present, which is literally Andrew as unfortunately. Who was it? Was it Megan Hatcher Maze who figured it out?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. Who's one of those?

[Andrew Walsh]

I think you should leave Christmas ornaments. That's. You're just here for the zip line.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. Have you seen those nicknames? It hangs from the tree like the tree.

[Andrew Walsh]

I did really get you that, Andrew, but. So I can't get you the special getting out of the car handle tool. But maybe next year you've will DM.

[Nick Jarin]

You the ad next time it's on his Instagram.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, it's probably on your right. If I fire this thing up, it'll be on your right.

[Luke Burbank]

You guys have already given me the best gift you can give me, which is just setting me up, making fun of me so that I can then turn around and say, well, actually, you know, I actually have a condition. And just like, look, watching your faces go from having a good time to having no fun whatsoever is the best gift you could possibly give me afterwards.

[Nick Jarin]

I'm yucking it up on this episode. I'm going to be feeling bad the rest of the day.

[Luke Burbank]

By the way.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's a common experience when. When particip. Participating in or listening to tbtl.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, real post TBTL depression. That happens to all of us.

[Andrew Walsh]

So we managed to get through all of yesterday's show without actually getting to the ostensible kind of focus or point of the show, which was Nick's list of five films that you can have playing kind of sort of in the background at your holiday party that will delight. They will spur conversation, but they won't take over the vibe of the place, and they'll just be the right kind of addition to the merriment. And again, we didn't get to any of them, but today we're gonna try to get to as many as possible. Where do we start with this, Nick.

[Luke Burbank]

Or we tried to string this across the entire week or possibly several weeks of content. Is there any chance we can get through today's show without getting to the list?

[Nick Jarin]

We'll just do number five, maybe.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, let's see. I mean, I have a feeling that we could definitely one of These could be an episode. Like one. One movie equals one episode.

[Luke Burbank]

With the three of us, probably. But anyway, sorry to get us off to a rocky start. Nick, you had the floor.

[Nick Jarin]

Yes. I guess I'll just go right into number five. 1983, an absolute classic. One that you can see on the TV on mute and you can quote it. Anyway, I double dog dare you, I triple dog dare you to name me a better Christmas movie than A Christmas Story.

[Luke Burbank]

That is a good call. And that is a great vibe. Especially you're a bit younger than us. But especially for my generation, because that was kind of new when I was a kid. I looked just like Ralphie at the time. Everybody said I look like Ralphie. What is. Is that the bully? What is that?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, that's the neighbor being. That's the dad being mad that the Bumpuses dogs are running a moke in their house.

[Nick Jarin]

Dogs.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. But yeah, that is like. You know how you mentioned on yesterday's show, Nick, the Holdovers. The Holdovers has a sort of faux nostalgia built into it, the way it's shot. But like, this is like that vibe. I mean, it's a funnier movie, but it's like that vibe only because it's really from the 80s.

[Nick Jarin]

Yeah, exactly. And I wanted to include something that had that, like that cinematic coziness, that little bit of green and like the imperfections of a movie of that age. Like, nobody wants to see A Christmas story in 4K Ultra HD. You want to see it in 360p as it would have been like on TBS for the entire day, you know.

[Luke Burbank]

Right.

[Nick Jarin]

There's something cozy about that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Absolutely. Yeah, there is. It's. It's funny that there is a look of a film that immediately puts me at ease or, you know, relaxes me in a way that won't happen if it's something that's newer or heaven forbid you're somewhere and the TV is set on some kind of a, you know, whatever. Real motion or I don't know what they call that stuff, but I mean, that's. I can't get that stuff off the TV fast enough.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that anti motion blur or whatever.

[Andrew Walsh]

That something where it looks too real, looks like a soap opera.

[Luke Burbank]

It looks like it's like.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I need there to be some sort of gauziness to it. Now here's what I'll say about A Christmas Story. I again got to that one a little bit late. It just wasn't one for whatever reason, probably because of the lamp that looks like a woman's leg. My parents probably thought it was fresh.

[Nick Jarin]

So I was gonna ask about the leg lamp.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, it wasn't part of, like the Burbank, you know, a Christmas watch. Well, first of all, we didn't have a Christmas tradition at first. My parents were in so deep in the evangelical stuff that it was like, no Christmas because it was pagan. And then when we warmed up to it, it was like this It's a Wonderful Life and stuff like that. That being said, the reason I've been fascinated with this movie of late is because I think it might have been last year or the year before the guy who was sort of responsible for the film passed away. Right. And he was a radio host and he used to. I did not realize that he told this story. My point in this is Andrew and I as sort of still quasi radio people, and you, Nick, as a prodigal son who will one day return to the fold of making local radio with us. I feel like there's a chance for all of us to create some of the most culturally important things around the holidays. It was like a nighttime radio show where this dude would tell stories. And he is. Is he the narrator? Andrew, you look like you might be looking this up.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, it's Gene Shepherd. I actually got to. I think Ross Reynolds, another radio guy, interviewed him once when I was a producer for him. And yeah, he was like this old timey storyteller. Did he have a regular show on Saturdays or something? I'm not entirely sure about that. Like, kind of how it was distributed. And I'm pretty sure that it's his voice we hear in the movie as well. This was a story that he told on the radio that was then turned into a movie. The Christmas or A Christmas Story, I should say.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. So I'm just saying if we play our cards right here today, we may create the next Christmas classic. One of us tells a compelling enough story.

[Luke Burbank]

I would turn this into a movie. Nick, I have a question for you. As somebody who. Who has an eye towards these things, is a bit sensitive towards these things as well. Although I think this might lead into another interesting conversation that you and I were having via text a while back. This is one of those movies where I completely enjoy it. It's from my youth. I love it. But when I think about it, I also think, oh, there's that scene. God damn, there's that racist scene in the Chinese restaurant. Do you know the one I'm talking about?

[Nick Jarin]

Oh, I totally forgot about that.

[Luke Burbank]

I was wondering how you. Because you had a. Nice work, Nick. Yeah, well, that's the thing. I mean, we talked about this a little bit. Like, I think the Goonies has a little bit of that as well. Again, it's kind of like Asian racism.

[Nick Jarin]

And I got to stop picking these 1980s movies. You know, the rest of them are all newer than this.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I'm not trying to put you on the spot at all because it's just one of those things where it's like this whole. This. This whole, you know, 90 minute or more movie. And it's great, but for some reason I'm always like, well, would I show that in any circumstance, the scene that I'm referring to happens in a Chinese restaurant. And let's just say the depiction of the people running the Chinese restaurant on Christmas are not exactly. Not exactly gentle or appropriate. So anyway, yeah, it's one of those things where I'm just like, I don't want that to ruin the movie for me, but I can't help but remember it. And you. I mentioned something like that to you via text. You're like, well, maybe that's a list. Everything I say to you, you turn into a list on letterbox. But, like, didn't you have a radical walking.

[Nick Jarin]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Fun having you here.

[Luke Burbank]

Did you have a radical theory about racism, casual racism and old movies that we need to like, almost not hide from it, but take it straight on?

[Nick Jarin]

Oh, yeah. So two ideas there, actually. So one. Of course, one. I do think that it's important to keep that stuff around and continue to talk about it and not like, sanitize the art in any way, because this is how you end up in situations where you have people saying, like, well, slavery was so long ago. You know, the Civil Rights act was so long ago. These are all things that are in the living memory along with all of the art that was happening by the people who were growing up with it as well. And if we remove it from our art, we remove it from our cultural memory as well. We have to see this stuff and talk about it. So you know what? I take it back. It stays on the list and you should watch that scene.

[Luke Burbank]

In fact, your number one, I believe, is just a super cut of racist scenes.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. This is. I want to be. I want to be clear, too. This is a. Andrew's role on the show a while ago was talking about the movie White Christmas. And Andrew immediately reminded me of the blackface in the movie, which, by the way, we later learned doesn't actually exist. But they do say we miss those minstrel shows, which Is not a great. Not a great thing to say in.

[Nick Jarin]

A song, but period accurate. Also, like, I'm sure they did miss those shows.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, honestly, they're telling on themselves.

[Nick Jarin]

You know what was good?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Racism.

[Luke Burbank]

Somebody recut that now. Now it sounds like they're saying we dis those minstrel shows. And it's.

[Nick Jarin]

That leads me to number two on my point. So one, I think it's important to keep them. But two, I went down this weird rabbit hole the other day about. Oh, sorry.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh my God, this is amazing.

[Luke Burbank]

What just happened?

[Andrew Walsh]

Your birthday.

[Nick Jarin]

It is my birthday, but I think it's doing that because I'm making a peace sign.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wait, literally your happy birthday.

[Luke Burbank]

Happy birthday.

[Andrew Walsh]

I have never. This is the most 2024. Unless this is airing in 2025. This is the most 2004 moment I've ever observed in my life. We are talking to our friend remotely who, because he's using his telephone to talk to us, accidentally activated some kind of birthday balloons on his phone letting us know that it's your birthday today.

[Luke Burbank]

And you think by giving a peace sign to the screen that's why.

[Nick Jarin]

I think so. Because like, you can do thumbs up too.

[Andrew Walsh]

It'll. Yeah. Here comes some bubbles.

[Luke Burbank]

Look at that. Happy birthday, brother.

[Andrew Walsh]

Happy birthday.

[Nick Jarin]

Thank you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you for spending it. I mean, my goodness, Nick.

[Nick Jarin]

Oh, I'm happy to spend.

[Luke Burbank]

What a waste of your special day.

[Nick Jarin]

Don't worry, I have a very nice dinner coming my way.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, fair. Fair enough.

[Nick Jarin]

But anyway, point point number two on the racist scenes. I went down a TikTok rabbit hole the other day about how Mormons have like this whole cottage industry around editing films so that they aren't R rated. So that they can watch them. Because they're not supposed to watch R rated movies. Right. I think that we can do a similar thing based off of this list where we can add movie. We want to. And we offer a service that's the party approved edit of the movie takes out all of the uncomfortableness party all the time. Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. Not like the. Not like the. The ruling party. We're not talking about like a Maoist. We are.

[Luke Burbank]

We will.

[Andrew Walsh]

We've released the party approved.

[Nick Jarin]

Yeah, lowercase film.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, I'm not trying to cut you guys out of this business opportunity, but here's what I'd like to call it. Whitewashing. The business will be called. The business will be called whitewashing. And I whitewash all of the racism out of old movies. How does that sound?

[Nick Jarin]

I love it.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm in all Right.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm going to see if that domain is taking it. Whitewashing dot com.

[Luke Burbank]

Let's, let's, let's not engage with white Walshing. All right. Well, I, I do love that. That is on your. Did you watch that movie growing up, by the way? Before we move on to your number four, something that has like strong childhood memories for you. A Christmas Story.

[Nick Jarin]

Yes. Yeah, that's one that like, by the time I was a kid, that was one where the generation above me wanted to see it. Anyway, so there was constantly cable marathons of A Christmas Story. I think some channels still doing it probably like TNT or something Nice.

[Andrew Walsh]

Which is a footnote for. So a good number of the like, you know, classic holiday movies. Right. Is underappreciated in their time, but then put on cable probably because they were cheap and then rerun a million times and then they become part of like the DNA of the holiday for us.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Nick Jarin]

Yes. So actually this one that didn't make my list, but I think is a good candidate for this because people don't have cable anymore. They have Netflix. There's a Netflix Christmas movie called Noel starring Anna Kendrick that's. She's like the, she's the sister of Santa. Santa's played by Bill Hader. He doesn't want to do the Santa thing anymore, so he flees to Phoenix, Arizona. This is the only Christmas movie I know of set in Phoenix, Arizona, because then Anna Kendrick, sister of Santa Claus, goes to try to find him and, you know, hijinks ensues. I think that this is a candidate for a new classic because it's gonna be at the top of Netflix. People recognize Anna Kendrick. She's in a ton of stuff. Bill Hader, funny guy. You throw it on and it can have a similar, like background cable ubiquity that the old movies used to have.

[Luke Burbank]

I know that we need to get going with the rest of your list, but let me just say this quickly and we don't have to respond to it if we're tight on time, but I don't go in for those Hallmark style movies. I guess, you know, it's a whole industry now, as you guys well know. Luke, I know you did a TV story on this and you know, kind of Netflix creating a scene with Lacey.

[Andrew Walsh]

Chabert that is Hot Frosty.

[Luke Burbank]

That's exactly what I want to say. I was at a holiday party recently and I don't really follow these things, but people were like, let's put on Hot Frosty. Which Luke, I don't know, are you Familiar with Hot Hot Frosty?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, it must be. Is that a new. A new one out this year?

[Luke Burbank]

I think it's new this year and.

[Nick Jarin]

It'S exactly what it sounds like.

[Luke Burbank]

It's frosty.

[Andrew Walsh]

The snowman is hot.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. And it's like there's this hot snowman that somebody made right in the village square. Although nobody questions who carved or chiseled this. Super hot. And I would say overly vascular.

[Nick Jarin]

Chiseled is right.

[Luke Burbank]

Have you seen this movie, Nick? Lacey?

[Andrew Walsh]

It's a lacy one.

[Nick Jarin]

Yeah, she's in it.

[Luke Burbank]

Have you seen this movie, Nick, or just the trailer?

[Nick Jarin]

No, I've only seen parts of it. Just part.

[Luke Burbank]

So now I've only seen one Hallmark style movie and it's that movie. And it's like, as people in the room were saying, it's kind of like Sharknado now. Like the. The genre has bent so far that they lean into the campiness. And this. Of course, yes. I'm forgetting. Oh, shoot. I'm forgetting his name. But great comedian who plays Darryl on the Office. I should know his name. It's Craig Robinson. Robinson. You know, he plays a very over the top. He plays a straight up comedy role in it. But yeah, it, it, it didn't do a lot. I'm hoping it's not number one.

[Andrew Walsh]

I saw Craig Robinson the other day. We were filming at the Hollywood Improv and somebody was. The show was going on. And then it was also a night where there was a football game. I guess it was Thursday night. Football was like the packers were playing. Somebody was yelling from inside the bar. There was two people in the bar. And I was like, wow, who's this? Into the game. And it was Craig Robinson. No, I mean, they all, like, hang out there at that comedy club. It was just Craig Robinson with, like, one friend. Way too into Thursday Night Football.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, great. That's great. All right, what do you got next on your list? Number four. As we count these down.

[Nick Jarin]

All right, number four. I think that it's important to have something that is almost a little inexplicable when you look at it. You're like, when did they make this? Why is this person in it? It's an Arnold Schwarzenegger holiday movie. Back when he was like that run of like Kindergarten Cop. He was doing different things. It was more family oriented. Although he does have a fight scene with a bunch of Santas in this 1996 jingle all the way.

[Luke Burbank]

Right, of course. How do I forget about that one?

[Andrew Walsh]

That is where. Wait. The premise is he is trying to get the last of one of these. Like cabbage. Not a Cabbage Patch Kid, but some sort of the must have toy for Christmas, right?

[Nick Jarin]

Yes. It's kind of a throwback concept. And I put this one on the list because I saw a lot of nostalgia on social media this year for back when Black Friday used to be aggressive, borderline violent. And like, getting the hot toy, the Tickle Me Elmo, the whatever of the year was something that. Having nostalgia for Jingle all the Way taps into that. There's scenes here where he's near fighting people in the store to get his Turboman figure for his son. And I also put this on here because Turboman is nobody. This is a nothing superhero that they made up for the movie. You could redo this maybe with a Chris Evans type. You put Captain America as the doll instead, you redo the entire thing. You could remake this tomorrow.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm just. What I'm wondering is, were they trying to sell Turbomen at the time? Because what a missed opportunity otherwise, right. For it to not be something like a product.

[Nick Jarin]

Tie in to my recollection, it was not a real toy.

[Andrew Walsh]

How interesting.

[Nick Jarin]

But it was very, like. It was very like Buzz Lightyear coated. Because that was around the same time that, like, Toy Story came out. And that was the hot toy of that year as well. Nobody wanted Woody. Everybody wanted Buzz Lightyear.

[Luke Burbank]

Spoiler alert. I now realizing, I think the only part of this movie I've ever seen is the. It takes place at a parade somewhere. And I believe Turboman is there. Right. Like the real actor who plays Turboman in the movie, there's some sort of action scene, I believe, at the end.

[Nick Jarin]

Major spoiler alert. He doesn't end up delivering the toy for his son, but what he does do is become Turboman himself in the parade.

[Luke Burbank]

Right.

[Nick Jarin]

The Turboman we wanted was at home the whole time.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Now I get it.

[Andrew Walsh]

And also, it is like, there's a side reference to this from 30 Rock that we love. Andrew. Which is like. And now something with Greg Kinnear. Jingle all the Doors.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. Actually, you know what? That's Kimmy Schmidt. I believe that drop is from Kimmy Schmidt. Yeah. And now he's in Jingle all the Doors. This is a waste of our time because it's such an inside joke. But one time I mistakenly referred to the movie Catch Me if youf can as Chase Me all the Way. This was just a private conversation between me and Genevieve. And I said, you know, know that movie Chase Me all the Way or whatever she's Like, I think you mean Catch Me if youf Can. And one of us tweeted it out and a friend responded, oh, you're gonna love Jingle if you Can. And so whenever I think of Jingle all the Way, I think of it in my head as Jingle if you can.

[Nick Jarin]

Always remember.

[Luke Burbank]

Uh oh.

[Nick Jarin]

TBTL Breaking news.

[Andrew Walsh]

Just want to let you guys know that whitewashing.com.net.org info. Biz and co are all available.

[Luke Burbank]

They're all going to say they're all now registered to not by the Time llc.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm a hundred air.

[Luke Burbank]

It is.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's there for the taking if we do decide to go forward. If you decide to go forward with this business. Yeah. You've got all the URL real estate you could ever need.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely shocking that nobody has hoovered them up yet.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Okay, next. Next film number three.

[Nick Jarin]

I did cheat a little bit. This is a bit of a twofer, but one of them is very short. We're doing both the 1966 animated version and the 2000 Jim Carrey Live Action. How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. So the original one was only a. It was only like an episode. It was like 28 minutes. Did you say 26 minutes? That was like television.

[Nick Jarin]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

And isn't it. Who. Who's the. Is it Boris Karloff? Yeah. Who plays or characters?

[Luke Burbank]

The Grinch? Yes, I think. I think it is Boris Karloff. Right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Which is crazy that, like, he was still alive and doing things and I probably wasn't even that old, and I guess I was I born yet. When did that movie come out? Where did the television come out?

[Nick Jarin]

1966.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. I was not born yet. I don't want to be alive at the time when Boris Karloff was in his prime. But he's feeling old.

[Luke Burbank]

Boris Karloff never young. Right. Like, literally with the name Boris Karloff, never a child.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, definitely. Yeah. One of the few cases that they verified of being born 70 years old.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, exactly. Exactly.

[Nick Jarin]

I included both of them because number one, the animated one, nice and short. Iconic animation style. Nobody has a bad time watching that one. But the Jim Carrey one, I remember when this came out, I was a kid, and even back then I was like, well, how could it possibly live up to the animated one that we all love and it's three times as long? What are they even going to do for the rest of that time? I'll tell you what. Incredible set design.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Nick Jarin]

And they added way more who characters, including, like, one hot who in Whoville, played by Christine Baranski.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love it. Like, I feel also like this that some of the particular monologue where Jim Carrey as the Grinch is talking about how booked he is, like he's going through his daily schedule of all the stuff he has to do has now been kind of memeified on TikTok where people are just like, like walking around their house like, you know, lip dubbing it like perfectly. And it's only upon seeing other people like kind of lip sync to it that I realize what a genius monologue it is. Right.

[Nick Jarin]

It's low key. One of my favorite Jim Carrey roles because not only is the voice great, but him acting through the costume is incredible. This is gonna sound maybe weird and oddly specific, but the stuff he does with his hands and his fingers, in.

[Andrew Walsh]

Particular, the fur going off of the.

[Nick Jarin]

Ends of the fingers, it's weird. And the way that he utilizes them, including like sometimes straight up waving them at the camera.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, incredibly perfect. It's like the, it's like the perfect offense for Jim Carrey to be operating with it.

[Nick Jarin]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what I mean?

[Nick Jarin]

Like, exactly.

[Andrew Walsh]

Because I was thinking about Jim Carrey the other day when I was in la and Jim Carrey is actually like a very deeply thoughtful person in terms of how he thinks about life and fame and what matters and doesn't matter. And depending on the interview you see him in, I mean, he's like, like, he's like Ram Dass or some shit. And then I look up on and it's like, none of this matters. And you know, he's like, again, he's, he's like super like Zen and whatever. And then I look up and he's like playing the bad guy in sonic the hedgehog 3.

[Luke Burbank]

3.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, how does this square with your, like, deep meditation on what it is to be human, but also low key. Let me be the bad guy in Sonic the Hedgehog.

[Nick Jarin]

Free and wearing a cartoonish fake mustache while doing it.

[Andrew Walsh]

And it's like he doesn't need the money obviously. Like it's, it's. He finds some value in and hey, great. But yeah, I think the Grinch is like. I think that's just like he's the perfect person to play the Grinch and really elevates the whole thing.

[Luke Burbank]

I've literally never seen the movie. I'm looking at the posters and stuff now and I'm remembering how unsettling I find his makeup to be as somebody who hasn't seen it and also is squeamish. Like, it seems very every visual I've ever seen from this movie is very upsetting to me. I think I found the scene that you're talking about, Luke. And again, I'm not setting you up for anything here. I've never heard this before. It's 30 seconds long. It's listed on YouTube as Grinch's schedule. 4:00, wallow in self pity. 4:30, stare into the abyss. 5:00, solve world hunger. Tell no one. 5:30, jazzercise. 6:30, dinner with me. I can't cancel that again.

[Nick Jarin]

7:00, wrestle with my self loathing. I'm booked.

[Luke Burbank]

Of course, if I bumped the loathing to nine, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stared at the ceiling and slips slowly into madness. Is that his voice in the whole thing? I'm booked.

[Nick Jarin]

It pretty much is. Funny enough, those are also my birthday plans.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. Happy birthday. Once again.

[Andrew Walsh]

Once again.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, so that was my birthday. So that was your number three on your list. Do I have that right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Good one, dude.

[Nick Jarin]

That's a really good one. Number three. I'm surprised.

[Luke Burbank]

So. Well, Luke, but that's great.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, again, mostly because of the. The. It's. It's resurfaced through TikTok and it's kind of back. It's back at the front of mind for me.

[Luke Burbank]

Nice.

[Nick Jarin]

All right, headed into number two. This one. This is one of the few cases where I'm. I'm an advocate for sequels and I genuinely think that the sequel to this movie is the better one. However, the sequel has a very intrusive Donald Trump cameo and therefore we will be going with the original.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel a wet bandit coming on Home Alone. Home Alone. Home Alone or Home Alone 2. Which one are you?

[Nick Jarin]

Home Alone 1. We're going with the first one because.

[Andrew Walsh]

Of the presence of Trump.

[Luke Burbank]

Trump.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think Nick's argument is that Home Alone 2 is actually escaped to New York. Escape from New York.

[Nick Jarin]

I think it's Lost in New York.

[Andrew Walsh]

Lost in New York. You think it's a better film, but it features too much Donald Trump.

[Nick Jarin]

Absolutely.

[Andrew Walsh]

So we're gonna go with. Yeah, with numero uno.

[Nick Jarin]

We're going with the first one. It's a lot of the same gags anyway. You know, you get the booby traps, people falling in them, people being hurt in ways that you think would probably kill them, at least concuss them. But they're fine.

[Luke Burbank]

Basically the paint can to the head. You think that on a huge pendulum coming from the top of the attic stairs. I think about that all the time. Like, that person is, if alive, not living the life that they did before they got hit in the head with that can. Like, that is.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's a traumatic brain injury that is manifest.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely. Can I ask you. Are we. Can I ask you a question about the sequel? Are we allowed to do that? Okay, because this came up for a minute. I forgot about.

[Nick Jarin]

I'm a guest.

[Luke Burbank]

I forgot about. Well, I know that we want to avoid the Trump talk, but I was thinking about this, the sequel recently, for some reason, I really don't know why I've never seen it. Honestly, I've seen the poster for it before. I think I've seen, like, it's like a fake newspaper. I think, like, Wet Band are, like, loose in New York or something. Why? How? Why? And how did the Wet Bandits find themselves in the Big Apple? Because the first one takes place in, like, a suburb of Chicago, right?

[Nick Jarin]

Yeah, the first one is in Chicago island park, probably.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that a Christopher Columbus film?

[Nick Jarin]

I can't remember if he directed it, but I think he did write that.

[Andrew Walsh]

One because I feel like all of those Chris Columbus movies were always set in Highland Park, Illinois, which is wealthy Chicago suburb, I think.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, Hughes, too, right? Like, good. Good grief. I believe we were talking about him yesterday on the show. Who did? Ferris Bueller.

[Nick Jarin]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, John Hughes.

[Luke Burbank]

John Hughes. Don't, don't. His movies also always take place in sort of the Chicagoland area, Like, wealthy white suburbs of Chicago.

[Nick Jarin]

Yeah. Uncle Buck.

[Luke Burbank]

Uncle Buck.

[Andrew Walsh]

Another. Another Macaulay Culkin tour de force.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. So do.

[Nick Jarin]

We cannot remember why they're in New York. But I remember, like. Like it's some contrivance because they wanted to set it there. And then the.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, you know what?

[Nick Jarin]

And then the family is again, like, there's no way we left him again.

[Luke Burbank]

Right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Let me just. I'll quickly. I'll try to be efficient with this, but this is. According to Wikipedia.org the McAllister family is preparing to spend Christmas in Miami and gathers at Kate and Peter's Chicago home. Their youngest son, Kevin, views Florida as contradictory to Christmas due to its tropical climate and lack of Christmas trees. See? The next morning, family once again oversleeps and rushes to the airport. What? I mean, fool me once, won't get fooled again. The next morning, the family once again oversleeps and they rush to the airport. Kevin goes with them, but he becomes separated while carrying Peter's bag. Accidentally boards a flight to New York City. So that's how he gets there. Now, let's see. It doesn't seem to mention how the.

[Luke Burbank]

What?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, sorry, I'm trying to kind of speed through this. This does not answer the question of how the Wet Bandits end up there.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Maybe they're just on the lamb.

[Andrew Walsh]

Maybe. So. In Central Park, Kevin encounters and eventually befriends a pigeon lady. That's not the person we're looking for. Oh, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

She's the fill in for. Because in the first movie there's like a neighbor.

[Andrew Walsh]

Neighbor who we are scared of. Yeah, yeah. I don't know how the bad guys get there, but as Nick said. So I think wisely a contrivance.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, right. I just think it's quite a coincidence. But it's also. A family has left the same child behind twice, essentially. So I guess they got closer to.

[Nick Jarin]

The plane the second time.

[Luke Burbank]

It is true. I think that's actually why it came up. I was having a conversation, I think with Genevieve and I don't know if we were talking about airline rules these days or what, but just like the idea that that couldn't happen again. Like you couldn't just like. I think there's a scene where somebody says to the kid as he gets on the plane, oh, just sit anywhere. He's like, somebody's in my seat. And they're like, oh, just grab another seat anywhere. Can you imagine being on an airplane and a flight attendant saying, oh, just grab seat anywhere.

[Andrew Walsh]

By the way, I found Ryanair. I found the totally not illuminating section from Wikipedia. The Wet bandits have also reached the city after escaping from prison.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, okay. Maybe they put them on Rikers. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

I would also just mention that this is yet another film where Catherine O'Hara is like another iconic thing for Catherine O'Hara. Like, if you think she's in Beetlejuice, she's in Home Alone. She was on sctv. She's in all of the good Christopher Guest films. She was in Schitt's Creek. Like, this is. She's had a sort of Zelig like career where I swear to God, every time you turn around, Catherine O'Hara is in something that's like. Like her. Like remembering that they figure out they left Kevin behind is like an iconic moment of that film.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Nick Jarin]

Also 35 years of iconic mom roles.

[Andrew Walsh]

Seriously. Also great cameo from John Candy. What's the name of the bowling. The bowling league that he's the boy they get the airport, you know, like you like, right? He's like the. Isn't he like the. He's like the Milwaukee Bowling King or something.

[Luke Burbank]

And is an accordion involved or am I confusing? My John Candy cameos. My Candyers.

[Nick Jarin]

He does do a lot of travel in his movies.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, he is. He's always on the go. By the way, Andrew, you're totally right. That the. The movie poster for Home Alone 2 Lost in New York is Macaulay Culkin reading a newspaper that says the Wet Bandits Escape on it while the two of them sort of leer at him from behind the Empire State Building.

[Luke Burbank]

You guys are going to love this.

[Nick Jarin]

New York.

[Andrew Walsh]

The tagline. He's up past his bedtime in the city that never sleeps.

[Luke Burbank]

You guys are going to love this.

[Nick Jarin]

Oh, that's good.

[Luke Burbank]

Not only did I find the John Candy cameo, but it's literally recorded off of VHS tape. Because I can see like the word play here.

[Andrew Walsh]

And it's got tracking.

[Luke Burbank]

It's got that tracking. Let's take a listen. They're in the airport. Allow me to introduce myself. Gus Polinsky. All right. Polka king of the Midwest. The Kenosha Kickers. Hi there. No, that's okay. I thought you might have recognized. Anyways, I had a few hits a few years ago. That's why I. You know, just Polka, Polka. Polka. Polka. Polka, Polka. No, Twin Lakes Polka. Dama Vooji Polka. AKA Kiss Me Polka, Polka Twist.

[Nick Jarin]

These are songs? Yeah, yeah, we.

[Luke Burbank]

Some fairly big hits for us, you know, in the early 70s, you know. Yeah, we sold about 623 copies of that.

[Andrew Walsh]

In Chicago.

[Luke Burbank]

No, Sheboygan. Very big at Sheboygan.

[Andrew Walsh]

So good.

[Luke Burbank]

So good. I think we probably play that about once a year, Luke. But we have goldfish brains and so it's new to us.

[Andrew Walsh]

Honestly. That's one of the nice things about having no medium term memory is it delights me every time we replay it.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly.

[Nick Jarin]

Also, how about John Candy? Just making a meal of Midwest city names like Kenosha and Sheboygan. Ever been funnier?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yep, absolutely. Like my first ex was from Iowa. My first ex wife. And we would go to Iowa a lot. And the big thing was you gotta get these sausages from Sheboygan. The whole family would talk about it. And these were not particularly sausagey people if you saw them. They were pretty clean eaters generally. But man, they got these rolls from Usberg and then these sausages from Sheboygan. And you would butter up the bread and put this Sheboygan sausage on it. People would talk about it all year until it was time to have one of these.

[Luke Burbank]

Wow. Sounds heart smart.

[Nick Jarin]

Sheboygan.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was. It was really holler at Sheboygan.

[Luke Burbank]

That is very good. I've lost track. Is that number one or number we're.

[Andrew Walsh]

In the home stretch.

[Nick Jarin]

Oh, no, no, no. My number one is. Should I go into it now?

[Andrew Walsh]

Sure.

[Nick Jarin]

All right, number one on the list. Everybody's been waiting two whole days for this one.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, they have.

[Nick Jarin]

And I think it's going to be worth it because this is hands down one of my favorite Christmas movies, but also one of my favorite Christmas movies to think about. Because while it is a Muppet movie, the magic thing about the Muppets is that everybody plays it straight. You can't be looking at the camera and hamming it up saying, isn't it funny that I'm talking to a Muppet? No. Michael Caine plays Scrooge in this and there is a scene where he receives after, like having the life changing things. Towards the end of the movie, he receives a gift from Beaker, one of the Muppets, and he's saying meep, meep, meep while handing him a scarf. Michael Caine looks like he's going to cry in this scene. Acting against a Muppet. It's the future that we didn't know we needed because eventually people would be doing this with tennis balls and green screens. Of course, I'm talking about 1992's A Muppet Christmas Carol.

[Andrew Walsh]

I have never seen this film, Nick, but you have convinced me that I will watch it tonight.

[Nick Jarin]

You should. And also, hot tip, if you have Disney, there's actually two versions of it on there. There's the regular one that if you just go to the title and click Play, it'll play. But there is a song cut out of it for some reason that is in the extras menu if you click on the movie. So if you click on the extras, you get an extra song. Or you can watch the extra song separately. It's not a particularly good one, but I'm a completist when it comes to stuff like this. Weirdly so I watched the longer version.

[Luke Burbank]

Were they whitewashing it? Was it like a dot org? I don't know if I've seen that or not. But I will say this. There is something about the Muppets. Even if it's not a specifically Muppet Christmas movie, there is something because of that cozy feeling I get from both, like, me growing up in that era and the fact that they're like, literally fuzzy. Like, I get such a fuzzy, warm feeling watching any Muppets. Like, I'd watch the Muppets Take Manhattan during the holiday season and that would still feel like Kind of appropriate to me.

[Nick Jarin]

Might even give you a Fozzie feeling.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hey, old fo. You know, I'll tell you, I'm reading Timeout New York's description of the film, Nick, and what I'm realizing is the Muppets are very well positioned to play the characters in this, you know, movie, you know, obviously play originally. Because, like, I definitely think you. I get powerful Bob Cratchit vibes off of Kermit the frog.

[Nick Jarin]

100%.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Nick Jarin]

You know, 100%. Which leads me to one of my favorite things to think about while I was watching this movie was there's a bit of an Internet meme that, you know, we don't need another live action adaptation of an animated thing or an animated adaptation of a live action thing. We need more Muppet adaptations of things. So I started thinking, I started spinning out another list of films for myself where I was thinking, what movies would I want to see the Muppets play? Because I completely agree with you that, like, Kermit is good as Bob Cratchit in that. They didn't even really need a tiny tin. They just did a smaller version of Kermit, basically. And he's adorable. And I gotta tell you, one of my favorite movies that came out this year, Conclave, would be perfect. Perfect as a Muppet movie. You keep Stanley Tucci and the cardinal who vapes in it, and then everybody else can be a Muppet.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's Ralph Fiennes, Stanley Tucci and who's the other one?

[Nick Jarin]

Oh, Isabella Rossellini's in there. She might get some award stuff, but it's basically an all male cast. And one of the bummers about doing Muppet versions of movies is that the Muppets are mostly male. So this works best with male dominated cast. Because another one, I thought of 12 angry men, I would watch the Muppet version of that.

[Luke Burbank]

Goodness. That's like. Yeah, because you have the whole cast in there.

[Andrew Walsh]

Absolutely.

[Nick Jarin]

12 angry muppets.

[Luke Burbank]

12 angry muppets. I'm thinking about the holdovers because it came up on the show yesterday. Am I right that Fozzie Bear would play the Paul Giamatti character? Like, kind of a sad. Kind of a sad.

[Andrew Walsh]

He looks the most like Paul Giamatti.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I guess I'm maybe body typing here. Yeah, he does.

[Nick Jarin]

You know, the main thing you have to do with the Muppet adaptation is think about who Kermit is going to play and who Miss Piggy is going to play.

[Andrew Walsh]

Ah.

[Luke Burbank]

Start from there.

[Andrew Walsh]

You build it around that. That's a really good point.

[Luke Burbank]

In that case, I have Kermit being probably the kid that he's trying to help. Help? During the holdovers, the kid who does not get picked up from his bike.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think it's animal.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, you think the kid is animal?

[Andrew Walsh]

Only because the kid is completely on his own wavelength. He's. He's just like. He's doing bad.

[Luke Burbank]

He's.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's lost, he's adrift. He's. And I feel like that's not Kermit to me. I mean, what if the kid is.

[Nick Jarin]

The only human you keep? Dominic Sessa and everybody else is a Muppet.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, very interesting. Maybe. Yeah, maybe we. Maybe Paul Giamatti's character is played by the Swedish Chef. There's layers.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

There's layers there that we've never explored.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I'm trying to. I don't feel like there's a good one.

[Nick Jarin]

Kid is definitely animal. The one who's like, come pick him up.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah, he steals a joint or something, I think, possibly.

[Andrew Walsh]

Or.

[Luke Burbank]

Or maybe a nudie mag or something from the other kid. But, yeah, that is a fun exercise. So it Came Upon a Midnight Clear. Not on your list. The made for TV movie that came out in, like, 1983.

[Andrew Walsh]

Never. How are you, Chef? Sorry, there was a Del laying the line there. I really had to get that one off.

[Nick Jarin]

No, that one was worth it. That one was worth it.

[Luke Burbank]

Bork, Chef. And everybody claps their hands like that. Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

Then after that, we remake the bear.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, we should remake the bear with Muppets.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now that.

[Nick Jarin]

That's so good.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my God.

[Luke Burbank]

I was sort of thinking the menu there. Actually, I haven't seen the bear, but I understand.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, the menu.

[Luke Burbank]

Right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Also. Yes, Chef. Energy.

[Nick Jarin]

Another Ray finds join.

[Luke Burbank]

All right.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's also. Boy, it's Ralph Fiennes world, and we're just living in it. He's in this other movie that I think is an adaptation of, like, the Odyssey, the Iliad or the Odyssey. And he is so ridiculously fit. My guy is, like, in his 60s, and he is just. I mean, he doesn't have an ounce of fat on him. And it's, like, really torpedoing my. I was. I had just gotten to the point where I was like, Look, I'm 48 years old. This is what it looks like to be 48. And I had settled into it and I had made peace with it, and I saw Ralph Fiennes in this new movie.

[Nick Jarin]

I hope he's doing it in a healthy way. Man, you never know.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, is there any other way for Rafe finds to do things? He just seems like a deeply centered, I don't know, with it guy. He's also in, like, four movies this year or something.

[Nick Jarin]

Yeah. You spend too much time in Hollywood, you start doing weird stuff to your body. A couple other Muppet movies I would like to see Glengarry Glen Ross.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's so perfect. Oh, my God.

[Luke Burbank]

Who's Alex Baldwin?

[Nick Jarin]

I think you recast Alec Baldwin, but keep him human in everybody else's Muppets.

[Luke Burbank]

Really?

[Nick Jarin]

Miles Teller for that. What do you think about Miles Teller for that role?

[Luke Burbank]

I can't picture Miles Teller.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's from the drumming movie. And also.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, sure.

[Andrew Walsh]

I. I definitely feel like I could see Kermit would be a perfect Shell Levine.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Just kind of. Just broken down by life.

[Nick Jarin]

It's a sad sack. Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Basically. Gill from the Simpsons.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I only had one payment left on that hot plate. That's bait. That's like kind of kerm to me.

[Nick Jarin]

Oh, man. I had. I had a couple more as well. Too Fast, Too Furious. Specifically because I think we should keep Tyrese and Devin Aoki and then everybody else's Muppets.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. I have never seen that movie.

[Andrew Walsh]

So who's the Vin Diesel? Who's our Muppet? Vin Diesel.

[Nick Jarin]

Oh, that's. I think it's got to be Gonzo.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like a kind of a more taciturn version of Gonzo.

[Nick Jarin]

Exactly. And then I had one more Ocean's Alert. You keep, like, half the 11 around, and then the rest are Muppets. Miss Piggy is Julia Roberts.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that's great. I would watch that. I really would. That sounds like. And now here's the question, though. Do. Are the Muppets being Muppety or are they. Is it played? Because you're talking about Michael Caine playing it straight in the Christmas Carol version, which I think is genius. Are the Muppets. Are they still being kind of their normal kooky cells, or are they playing it pretty much straight? They just happen to.

[Nick Jarin]

So that's one of the things that works about the structure of A Christmas Carol. Because since it's a play, Gonzo and Rizzo the rat are the narrators, and they're the only ones who get to do, like, zany Muppety stuff and talk directly to the camera. With these other adaptations, I think everybody just has to do it straight. And then maybe you have, like, for ones where there is a comic Relief character, you let that one be Kind of zany. Like whoever does the Don Cheadle part in Ocean's Eleven. A, you gotta keep the accent. B. Ham it up, man.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Nick, this has been so much fun. I really appreciate you reprising your role as, I guess, our movie correspondent and our chief thinker on envirologist. Yeah, yeah.

[Nick Jarin]

Happy to do it. It's always a pleasure coming on the show. I know that obviously, most of the time I do it with Andrew while Luke is gone, so it's a pleasure to have both of you here for it.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I'm probably honor good though.

[Nick Jarin]

No, definitely not as good. Thank you for being a tail.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, in the olden days of tbtl, when Andrew and I were working, even when it was very cold, sometimes he would want to put one more piece of coal into the stove and I would yell at him from across the room. And I would only give him half of Christmas Day off. But now that we have these amazing donors that support the show, I let him put a piece of coal into the fire and I don't even yell at him.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you know that I have a very sickly nick at home?

[Nick Jarin]

Please, sir, I was said, yes, say that boy. What?

[Andrew Walsh]

Is it still Christmas Eve?

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, there's a commercial out now, and I can't remember what it's for, but it's a parody of a Christmas Carol. Boy, am I going to mess this up. And we should have just thanked the donors. It's a parody of a Christmas I did this to us Carol. And you have the Scrooge character. He's yelling out to a little boy. Oh, boy. You know the butcher shop where the fatted goose hangs in the window? And the boy's like, yes. He's like, there's a donut shop next door. And I can't remember what the commercial is for, but it makes me laugh so much.

[Nick Jarin]

That's great. There's no way that's dunkin'that's. Too good.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't think it's actually for the donut shop. I think that's the weird thing. But yeah, keep an eye out.

[Nick Jarin]

It's probably for a phone.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, you do an entire podcast about commercials. Andrew. But this is the eternal tension, right? Is like, do you make a dead ass funny commercial that we have no idea what the product is or do you just show a car driving on a winding road is unavoidably about the vehicle? Today we unavoidably have to thank. And even if it was avoidable, we wouldn't we would run right out to thank Elaine Olson of Buckley, Washington.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, Buckley.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, man. Buckley. That's kind of. I feel like Buckley is. I'm going to be guessing now. Near North Bend. I feel like where Buckley is. Nick, you grew up in the Pacific Northwest.

[Nick Jarin]

I have no idea. I was going to guess like, near, like Gold Bar.

[Andrew Walsh]

Huh. I could. Oh, you know, yeah, that could. That would kind of make sense in your startup near index, Enum Claws.

[Luke Burbank]

It's.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sure. I bought a car once in Enumclaw. I bought a hundred sell with about.

[Nick Jarin]

Just east of Bonnie Lake. That's true.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's the gateway to Bonnie Lake. That's where Elaine Olson is. Thanks. Alan Jones is checking in from Los Angeles, California. Gateway to Anaheim.

[Luke Burbank]

That's what they always say. Alan, thank you so much for donating to the show. We appreciate it. I mean, we did this show today extra long for you because you're in Tinseltown and we know that you love.

[Andrew Walsh]

Pictures and that you could use any good idea for like, you know, reimagination of existing ip because you're in the biz and probably you'll be pitching these ideas before the day is over.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right.

[Nick Jarin]

I need to see those Muppet movies tomorrow.

[Andrew Walsh]

We're gonna get. We need some points on the back end. Al, Brian Dast is in Portland, Oregon. This is our friend Brian, the pedal steel master, the music production person, the all around wonderful guy who's made lots of things for the show.

[Luke Burbank]

The office blursed Ryan Dast. Brian asked. Sorry about that. I left the bee off there for a second.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let's see here. I'm trying to spell. I wanted to find a couple of the things that Brian made. Well, he made this. Remember when we used to advertise Bing on the show Angel? That was back when I wouldn't let you have any coal.

[Nick Jarin]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

How little Bing was paying. That's Brian.

[Luke Burbank]

That'S incredible. Do we have the right thing called.

[Andrew Walsh]

Tbtl Podcast intro This is made by Brian live from a room next to Luke's bathroom. This is tbtl. These are all Brian dastards.

[Nick Jarin]

That's incredible.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Anyway, thanks, Brian. We really do appreciate you. Thank you for the support. Thanks to Chris Rupp in Shoreline, Washington.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you, Chris. Just right. Just right north of me. Right.

[Andrew Walsh]

I started. You know, it's funny because I grew up in north Seattle mostly and spent a lot of time in Shoreline. And now, Andrew, you're the mayor of Shoreline.

[Luke Burbank]

I officially. No, no, officially. No, officially, I'm the mayor of Shoreline.

[Andrew Walsh]

I spend no Time in Shoreline. And you, we can't get you out of there. Despite the police best efforts.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hey, it's Dave Bledsoe in New York City.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, Dave.

[Nick Jarin]

That's where Home Alone 2 is.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, listen, I don't want to say this loudly, but I think Dave is one of the wet Bandits, like, in real life. I think the one Keep an ey she is based on. In fact, I think Dave.

[Andrew Walsh]

Dave and I are, like, following each other on the ascendant social media platform Blue sky. And I think. And Dave does a podcast, I believe.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, he does.

[Andrew Walsh]

And, like, they've done a lot of episodes, like, hundred. Like, hundreds of episodes. So, Dave, thanks, man. We really appreciate the support and keep it. Keep your head up in that podcast game. Thanks also to Rachel Potes of Kalamazoo, Michigan.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, that is a great name. Thank you. Rachel. I love the name Rachel.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, yes, it's a name so eccentric it almost seems impossible, but it's real. It's the name Rachel.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I was obviously there. I was thinking of Kalamazoo. Although Rachel is one who donated, not Kalamazoo. So I need to keep it. I need to keep this straight. But Kalamazoo seems like another name of a town, a good Midwestern town like Sheboygan that could have been thrown into that John Candy mint mix.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't. And also, Andrew, I don't want to. I don't want to, like, I don't know, nitpick or micromanage you, but I did notice. I just wanted to let you know that the way that you spelled Sheboygan in the show sheet in the Google Doc is not how the city of Sheboygan is spelled.

[Luke Burbank]

C H, E, I, C H, B, O, Y, G, A, N is how I spelled it. How do you actually spell it?

[Andrew Walsh]

I believe it's an Sh. It's a Shabboy.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, it's she Boygood in Michigan. Is it Michigan or there are two places?

[Andrew Walsh]

Because Sheboygan is in. Is in Wisconsin, I believe.

[Luke Burbank]

I see. There's a Sheboygan Michigan that is spelled the way I spell it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let's spell it that way.

[Luke Burbank]

Wait, hold on. I see. And then Wisconsin. No, I think we should go for the original Sheboygan.

[Andrew Walsh]

I am actually way funnier Michigan.

[Nick Jarin]

I want to know how the other Kalamazoo is spelled.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Right. So you didn't know that there were two Sheboygans?

[Andrew Walsh]

Obviously, I had no idea. I'm sorry, but now I apologize.

[Luke Burbank]

No, well, I mean, I think what I did and I'M going to whisper this part too. I just typed in just like as we were talking and I'm trying to type that at the same time. I just mashed in a bunch of keys that were so far from the proper way of spelling Sheboygan. I was shocked that the. That the Google Docs understood what I was even trying to do and then they auto corrected it to that Sheboygan. But honestly, this one is respectful compared to what I threw up there originally.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, thank you so much to all of our donors for supporting TBTL and making this a thing all these years later. And again, Nick, thanks man, for coming on the show. We. We gotta make a thing if you'll. If you'll have us.

[Nick Jarin]

Yeah, absolutely. And I'm also flying the friendly skies on blue sky nowadays.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I will start following you even right now.

[Luke Burbank]

In fact, Nick, why don't you tell everybody? I know last time we did this, you got a lot of followers on letterbox. People were joining letterboxd so they could join the fun. How can people find you there?

[Nick Jarin]

Oh, thank you. I totally forget to plug stuff. I am Slow Nick. S L O W N I C K on both Bluesky and letterboxd.

[Luke Burbank]

Nice. Okay, fantastic.

[Andrew Walsh]

Slow Nick on bluesky.

[Nick Jarin]

No longer Nick the Quick. I'm Slow Nick.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. And then at some point. We are not getting into this now. We do not have time. But you and I and maybe along with the audience or just ourselves. Ourselves. We need to talk about the new Kendrick record. I have not gotten your reaction to that yet. And obviously I know you will have many and strong feelings, but we're not getting into it now.

[Andrew Walsh]

None of them right now.

[Luke Burbank]

None of them right now. You're being a very good guest, right? Don't let the fuse. Don't like the fuse. Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

All right. Thanks everybody for listening. We'll be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you. In the meantime, have a great Tuesday, have a great Christmas Eve, and please remember, no chimney too tall.

[Luke Burbank]

And good luck to Santa Claus. You set me up in the end.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love it. You do have a harness.

[Nick Jarin]

Power out.

[Luke Burbank]

That was like a full hour. But that was a lot of fun.

[Andrew Walsh]

That was really, really fun.

[Luke Burbank]

Thanks, Nick.