#4378 Rolling Down The Garage Door Of Your Heart

Summary

Podcast Summary: TBTL Episode #4378 – "Rolling Down The Garage Door Of Your Heart"

Introduction

In episode #4378 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live, hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh dive into a delightful mix of personal anecdotes, home renovation tales, quirky neighbor stories, and a candid discussion about their evolving relationship with sports. Released on January 10, 2025, this episode encapsulates the essence of the show—two longtime friends navigating life's ups and downs with humor and camaraderie.

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Opening Banter and Holiday Reflections

The episode opens with Andrew Walsh reminiscing humorously about the rapid progression of their friendship timeline:

[00:00] Andrew Walsh: "I know we've only known each other for four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days..."

Luke quickly lightens the mood by humming a Friday anthem, setting a jovial tone for the conversation.

Anya introduces the episode with her signature wit, mentioning the unpredictable Pacific Northwest weather:

[02:17] Anya: "I woke up to the pitter patter. It's really more like the splitter splatter..."

She expresses excitement about the episode number and teases upcoming topics, including her newfound fascination with eggs and an elaborate omelet creator on TikTok.

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Listener Gifts and Holiday Greetings

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to acknowledging listener contributions. Andrew shares heartfelt thanks for the creative holiday greeting cards received:

[04:25] Luke Burbank: "I spent last night opening up many, many very beautiful, Luke. So touching holiday greeting cards that we found."

He also highlights a unique gift from listener Jamie—a handcrafted TBTL wood plaque:

[07:51] Andrew Walsh: "This handcrafted, kind of carved TBTL wood plaque... it's almost like a diorama."

Luke jokes about translating Jamie’s affection for tall ships into potential card-game strategies, adding humor to the gratitude segment.

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Home Renovation and the "Casta Diva" Toilet

Anya transitions the conversation to her ongoing home renovation project, focusing on the transformation of her kitchen into a bathroom. She introduces the "Casta Diva," a high-tech toilet that automates flushing and includes a bidet:

[14:23] Anya: "It has a smart toilet in it called the Casta Diva, which I think is a weirdly borderline anthropomorphized thing."

The hosts engage in a playful debate about the toilet's features, with Luke humorously suggesting the "Casta Diva" might have an app:

[20:16] Luke Burbank: "I think it might have an app because they're like, what would be the possible use of this app be?"

Anya elaborates on the toilet's functionalities, praising its touchless operation and customizable settings:

[16:07] Anya: "It is the absolute peak of hygienic lifestyle, because I don't even have to press anything on this toilet to flush it."

The discussion touches on the potential humorous scenarios of the toilet's remote control, showcasing their trademark blend of technology talk and lightheartedness.

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Navigating Sports Fandom and Wild Card Weekend

Shifting gears, Andrew shares his evolving relationship with NFL fandom, particularly his exposure to Super Wild Card Weekend:

[25:30] Andrew Walsh: "I have some feelings about something that I've literally never had feelings about before in my life... Super Wild Card Weekend."

Anya counters by expressing her disinterest in the chaos of wildcard games, preferring more relaxed sports engagement. They discuss Mina Kimes, a respected NFL reporter, and their differing levels of enthusiasm for various teams and players.

[28:21] Anya: "You know what? It's actually, I'm really glad you brought this up because this is a feeling I've been having and it relates to our friend Mina Kimes."

The conversation delves into the challenges of maintaining sports enthusiasm amidst unpredictable outcomes, reflecting their personal experiences and opinions on team performances.

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TBTL Community and Listener Interactions

The hosts take time to acknowledge and thank their listeners who have supported the show through donations. They mention specific contributors and the impact of their support on the podcast's continued success:

[41:03] Anya: "Thanks, Rob. We really appreciate you."

Luke humorously alludes to the nature of their donations, portraying it as an exchange of content for financial support.

Anya shares a heartfelt voice message from a listener named Anya, recounting her experiences with a hypocritical neighbor who displays a homemade Statue of Liberty adorned with conservative messages. This segment highlights the show's commitment to featuring listener stories and fostering a sense of community.

[74:34] Anya (Voice Message): "Growing up, we had a couple of dogs... but his freaking turkey would get out and chase us around."

The discussion surrounding this message underscores themes of hypocrisy and community dynamics, resonating with many listeners' real-life encounters.

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Reflections on American Malls and Retail Evolution

Anya presents a commentary on the decline of American malls, referencing a CNN article about the merger of JCPenney with Forever 21 under Spark Group, soon to be rebranded as Catalyst Brands. She and Luke lament the dwindling presence of traditional retail giants and the transformation of outlet stores, highlighting a sense of nostalgic loss.

[54:36] Anya: "It was surreal to realize that Eddie Bauer was originally a Seattle homegrown brand and how it's evolved."

Luke connects this to personal memories, sharing his own experiences with mall culture and the changing landscape of retail environments.

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Philosophical Musings and Closing Thoughts

As the episode nears its end, the hosts engage in musings about human connection, particularly in mundane interactions like ride-sharing. They explore the balance between seeking conversation and maintaining personal space, offering relatable insights into everyday social dynamics.

[80:31] Anya: "I am happy to have a conversation if the person wants to have a conversation. I'm also very, very okay with just kind of zoning out."

Luke reflects on the nature of such interactions, emphasizing the value of quiet contemplation during solitary moments.

In concluding remarks, Anya and Luke offer well-wishes to their listeners, encouraging them to stay safe and embrace the weekend's opportunities.

[84:27] Luke Burbank: "Probably watch like 1/4 of 1."

[84:30] Anya: "Have a great weekend. Take care of yourselves, stay safe, and please remember, no mountain too tall."

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Notable Quotes

• Andrew Walsh at [00:00]: "I know we've only known each other for four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days."

• Anya at [02:17]: "I woke up to the pitter patter. It's really more like the splitter splatter..."

• Anya at [16:07]: "It is the absolute peak of hygienic lifestyle, because I don't even have to press anything on this toilet to flush it."

• Anya in Voice Message at [74:34]: "Growing up, we had a couple of dogs... but his freaking turkey would get out and chase us around."

• Anya at [35:39]: "I mean, it's the classic conundrum of going out to get interviews with folks..."

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Conclusion

Episode #4378 of TBTL masterfully blends personal stories, listener interactions, and thoughtful discussions on contemporary issues. Luke and Andrew's dynamic chemistry and genuine rapport make for an engaging and relatable listening experience. Whether they're dissecting high-tech toilets, reminiscing about malls, or navigating the complexities of sports fandom, TBTL continues to offer its audience a hearty dose of humor and friendship.

Transcript

[Andrew Walsh]

I know we've only known each other for four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week, and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again. And the fourth day seemed like eight days. But the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day. But then you came back. And later on the sixth day, in the evening when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days. So in the evening, it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days. So at the end of the sixth day, on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.

[Luke Burbank]

TBTL Guess what day it is. Guess what day it is It's Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday Everybody's looking forward to the weekend.

[Anya]

There are many ways to keep one's lips condition. I don't kiss, for example, 24 hours before a performance because kissing makes your lips mushy. And we cannot have mushy lips and be a champion. Actually, you know what? I can email you or you know, you can email me at splat2splitnet.net Splat1's my father. It'll be sad to see him go.

[Luke Burbank]

But it'll be nice to get my.

[Anya]

Hands on that handle, you know. Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome everyone to a Friday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

[Luke Burbank]

A beautifully wrapped, glossy, sweet smelling show.

[Anya]

My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host. Back away, banana breath. What the hell? Did you just eat a banana? Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia where. Oh God, it was just. We're getting really lucky in the weather department this week and now it's back to rain and.

[Luke Burbank]

Didn't know you like to get wet though.

[Anya]

I woke up to the pitter patter. It's really more like the splitter splatter. It's heavy, heavy duty raindrops hitting some old funky tarp that I have like. I have this like lumber that is in my side yard that is eventually going to be the decking material for part of this deck I'm putting on my house, which, yes, is still not done. And so it's all covered with this tarp which then becomes the soundtrack of the winter here in the Pacific Northwest. Rain hitting that tarp. But I think, you know, I was able to try to store up some vitamin D in my sort of emotional batteries the last few days. And I am ready, my friends, to bring you episode 4378 in a collector series.

[Luke Burbank]

Let the fun begin.

[Anya]

I'm also feeling very excited because I met someone. If I told you once, I've told.

[Luke Burbank]

You a thousand times, I love you.

[Anya]

Well, I met something. I met a something. I have a something at my house and I really love it and I want to talk about it. Also talk about eggs, my friends. I've been eating a lot of them in 2025, and now I saw an interesting article about the color of egg yolk. And if it really matters, my boy says he can eat 50 eggs. He can eat 50 eggs. Also been getting hung up weirdly. On the omelet side of TikTok, there's a guy who has been making the world's most complicated omelette. At least that's how he describes it. Like the world's hardest omelette to make. And I think it's sort of like a Japanese preparation. It's actually very elaborate. He's made it hundreds of times. I've watched almost all of the videos, even though it's the same thing happening over and over again. Anyway, we'll get into that and we are going to talk to this guy. Longest running cobra of the show may be best known for his depictions of the tall ships. When he's not making overly complicated omelets, he's doing all kinds of other things you may not know about. He started recording in the early 80s. He's known for his love songs and his political songs. He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Luke Burbank]

Good morning, Luke. I would like to start today's show by once again thanking everybody for all. Sorry about this, by the way. I just had a little bit of a coughing fit right as you introduced me, but I fought through it.

[Anya]

Sorry.

[Luke Burbank]

No, it's not.

[Anya]

I didn't have eyes on you. I'm. You know, I'm staring at the audio drops that I'm gonna play.

[Luke Burbank]

Not you. It's totally me. Bad timing on my part. And honestly, I felt like I could power through it, but I was feeling insecure. In case you thought I was crying or something. I want to let you know I'm not crying yet.

[Anya]

That is.

[Luke Burbank]

We have that for E Block, I think. Yeah. Y. But I wanted to thank everybody. I spent last night Opening up many, many very beautiful, Luke. So touching holiday greeting cards that we found. It would be okay if you were.

[Anya]

Crying about that, by the way. You don't have to be strong. You don't have to be Mr. What is here?

[Luke Burbank]

John Wayne. They're going to name an airport after me.

[Anya]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But anyway, yeah, so I did want to share a couple of things. It's not quite a what's in the box segment, but I did want to say we got a lot of very creative, very fun. I mean again, some incredibly touching and some laugh out loud funny cards from folks over the holidays. And also got a book called I Touched a Cat and I liked it.

[Anya]

Sung to the theme of Katy Perry.

[Luke Burbank]

That put that song in my head all night last night. This is from listener Anne who says, I have this book and I think you boys would enjoy it, particularly Andrew. Although it sounds like we have to share it, Luke, so we can work out sort of a weekend and holla.

[Anya]

At days planned for this co parenting.

[Luke Burbank]

Very, very cute.

[Anya]

I touched a cat and I liked it.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm telling you, Luke, it is in there for the rest of the day.

[Anya]

Love it.

[Luke Burbank]

Really quickly here. Not to dominate the beginning of the show, but I want to give some thank you outs here too. Some thank you out to Tiffany who sent us each a deck of cards with tall ships on them.

[Anya]

Oh, very cool.

[Luke Burbank]

52 different tall ships. 52 different tall ships.

[Anya]

There were that many kinds of tall ships.

[Luke Burbank]

It does make me wonder. I haven't opened these yet, by the way. These are delic. Delightful and Viv's nice. Spend the summers playing a lot of cards, so I can't wait. But if there's a different tall ship on the back of each card, couldn't I presumably memorize which card is associated with. With which.

[Anya]

Why does your brain immediately go to cheating?

[Luke Burbank]

Because I want to win.

[Anya]

Can we. I mean, to quote the mother from Everybody Loves Raymond.

[Luke Burbank]

What?

[Anya]

This is why we can't have nice things. So we sent some nice cards and you immediately start. You go into card mechanic mode to start thinking about how you're going to cheat. Hager can go straight up verbal from the movie Rounders.

[Luke Burbank]

You can we get through one show?

[Anya]

Wait, I was mixing. Sorry, I want to save everyone the hassle. Verbal is the Kevin Spacey character and the usual suspect, Teddy KGB is the John Malkovich character in Rounders. I'm sorry, I was mixing my kind of hyper masculine like 90s movies.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I was going to go after you for the Everybody Loves Raymond reference. I feel like, can we get through one GD show without you evoking that? But wait, what's. So you're saying the name of the.

[Anya]

Kevin I can't have nice things Now. Wait, that's Jessica Walter from Archer.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Anya]

Okay, but then what about this? You have nice things. See, this is the OG this is why we can't have nice things. That's Everybody Loves Raymond. This is Archer. This is why I can't have nice things.

[Luke Burbank]

I see. I didn't. I don't think I realized you actually had a drop of it from Everybody Loves Raymond. I thought that was just something that lived in your memory from the 90s. Oh, so you have two drops to say the same thing with a saying.

[Anya]

Essentially the same thing?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, exactly. Oh, and listener Jamie sent us this wonderful. And I. Spoiler alert. I believe there's one waiting for you in your stocking as well when you come visit Luke. But this. This handcrafted, kind of carved tbt, I guess. What is the machine? The laser. Laser cutter, I believe. But a really beautiful TBTL wood plaque thing that's almost like a diorama.

[Anya]

Andrew, do you see this?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. The Madrona Hill.

[Anya]

The Madrone Hill studio sign that Jamie made and spelled Madrone. I guess we're gonna say correctly, but not in the way that I've always spelled it. But I liked that because the outside of this building says Madrona Hill. The common under informed way. Jamie of course, works in the forestry industry as well, so she knows from her trees.

[Luke Burbank]

But anyway, she also, by the way. Okay, let me just say one more thing about Jamie and then one more thing about the gifts. The last one I think you're really going to get a kick out of. But before we move on too quickly here to talk about your splitter splatter, as you said before the show. And I thought, oh, what a transition. I know, but it felt like a pretty good transition into what I think you're going to be talking about here in a second. But I was going to say that. Oh, Jamie left a voicemail. Jamie also works in thermodynamics, and she said that your parents system of heating up the coffee cups before putting hot coffee in there is actually kind of a. Is actually kind of a smart move just based on the laws of thermodynamics.

[Anya]

So what they do, if you missed that episode, dear Listener, is they will microwave. They'll fill their coffee cup up with water and microwave it and then pour the water out. And then I guess the cup stays hotter for longer.

[Luke Burbank]

And apparently there's some sound scientific science, I guess. Scientific science as. As they say in the laboratory to back that up in them.

[Anya]

I wonder where they. I'm going to ask next time they're where they got that from.

[Luke Burbank]

Parade.

[Anya]

My guess is Downton Abbey.

[Luke Burbank]

Downton Abbey. Oh, okay. Not a. Not some sort of like a Reader's Digest Parade Magazine tips for your morning.

[Anya]

I love the idea that they would have even had a microwave at that. The dowager count is micro walleye.

[Luke Burbank]

Sorry I missed your joke.

[Anya]

No, but I mean, I wasn't saying it as a joke until I realized that those don't. The timing of that doesn't line up at all.

[Luke Burbank]

Although. Well, why would I. Yeah, why would I do this? People love that show. But I loved. I watched the first two seasons of Downton Abbey, but I. Maybe even three. And I know that there's a lot more to it than just that, but I was shocked by one season. It really seemed like they were playing pretty fast and loose with the. With the passage of time. It was kind of like they woke up by candlelight, but were in some sort of motocross event by the end of the series.

[Anya]

Somebody checking their email.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, exactly.

[Anya]

They were checking their email. Matthew, why haven't you returned my email?

[Luke Burbank]

I returned your email by candlelight, Mom.

[Anya]

One of them is standing outside just doing the sign thing from. Oh, shoot. This would be a funnier joke if I could remember that you're a rebel without a cause. No, I was thinking of the. No, there. There's this. There's this, like, romcom that. That is. Oh, God. I'm. I'm. I'm asking the wrong person to help clarify this. But, like, you know, it is. It's a. It's a say anything holding up, not say anything. It's the British one, though. That's why I was thinking. And it's like, I know he does that and say anything too, right?

[Luke Burbank]

But like, what's the.

[Anya]

What? Love, actually.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, okay. Yeah, I haven't seen that one. Although I do know I haven't either.

[Anya]

Clearly, I was quite. I cut all this. 3, 2, and 1. So back to splitter. Splatter.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, splatter. Right. Okay. One last thing I wanted to say is an anonymous person sent in a gift that I think you would especially appreciate. Especially coming off of our conversation about this yesterday, near the end of the show, it seemed very appropriate some listener who, like, did send a note along with it, but said, I'd prefer to remain anonymous. Here's a folding backpack to go in your. Tote bag for the SARS grocery shopping. It's a very small, like, backpack that, like, tight. That folds up really, really, really tight.

[Anya]

Really clever.

[Luke Burbank]

So that I can, like, put this in my tote bag, go in there and be like, hello, Mr. Security Guard. I'm not breaking the rules. I'm not wearing a backpack into your precious store. But then I will fill this with groceries after I pay for them, and I will walk out with a giant.

[Anya]

You could also probably put that in your pocket. It.

[Luke Burbank]

I could even put it in my pocket. Exactly.

[Anya]

You know what I mean? Like, you might. Wow. That was a. I don't like you and the listeners keeping secrets from me. Like, I don't like the listeners reaching out to you and going, don't identify me to Luke. That feels. That feels weird.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, no, no. I don't know who it is either.

[Anya]

Oh.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I thought. In fact, I thought it might be you. No, no, they were. They sent it with a note, but they didn't sign their name. It was a. No.

[Anya]

Gotcha.

[Luke Burbank]

I thought that they.

[Anya]

I thought that they said, don't tell Luke. Who?

[Luke Burbank]

The baby's dead.

[Anya]

Yeah, exactly. Also, that's, you know, honestly, something the police should know about if the babysitter is dead. We need to get to the bottom of this. But. All right, Andrew, please, if we can. If we can get to the topic that you've been dreading all week since I first referenced it, I think maybe on Monday, and I know you were hoping you're like, if we can get to Friday and if we can stall burbs with lots of, like, Christmas card content, then.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I got another Christmas card here from anonymous to. No, sorry, go ahead.

[Anya]

Yeah, right. I. Yeah. So I've been, you know, continuing the project of fixing up this little house and put this. What used to be the kitchen is now a bathroom, and very excited about this because. Well, it means that I now have before I have. So there was one bathroom when I moved into this house, and it was really pretty, like, from a sort of, like, from the paint color they chose to the actual toilet to the sink, to the whole thing. It was really not my style, and I haven't had the energy to do anything to it because eventually I think I'm gonna just, like, kind of, I don't know, basically redo that whole bathroom. But for a while, it was the only functioning bathroom here. So it's just been sitting there as this kind of time capsule of the previous owner's sense of design, and it's pretty. Pretty lame. So Anyway, finally this other bathroom is done, and it's very exciting because, among other things, it has a smart toilet in it called the Casta Diva, which I think is a weirdly borderline anthropomorphized thing. I don't. I know it's not a person's name, but even having diva in the name of the toilet is a little weird to me.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I was trying to figure out what that's supposed to be A. Is it, like, the toilet is Casta Diva, a phrase that lives outside of this commode?

[Anya]

I mean, I've never heard it, like, used. I mean, it indicates that the toilet is going to be very picky.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, there's apparently a famous aria called. So there's a disambagu. Disemb. Oh, Andrew, disambiguate. You're going to use a big word early on a Friday. Yeah. What do you call it on Wikipedia when they're like. Well, you could be looking at casted Diva, the aria from Opera Norma. Or it could be the Mandarin Oriental Lake Como Resort. I don't know what that means. There's a film called Casta Diva from 1935 and another one in 1954. So I still don't know what it means, but it's at least a phrase that lives in society in some way.

[Anya]

It's an. It is again, to integrate the word diva into the toilet. You know, it's just, I feel like, you know, the flush master 5000 or something. Let's keep it kind of sounding fairly mechanical, fairly robotic. Let's not name it, you know, Jeanette.

[Luke Burbank]

The chaste goddess is what it means.

[Anya]

Okay, so my toilet is a chaste goddess.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Anya]

Now, I don't want to. I know you've been. You've been. You've been dreading this because. Because you don't like, you know, scatological talk. And this is not really even a conversation about scatological things. In fact, Andrew, I'm here to make the case that you and Genevieve, if you ever have occasion to redo your bathroom or to change out your toilet, you might want to think about it. It is the absolute peak of hygienic lifestyle, because I don't even have to press anything on this toilet to flush it.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't even have to poop.

[Anya]

No. It takes care of everything while I'm sleeping. I don't know how it does it. It just comes in. It painlessly scours all of the waste that my body has created.

[Luke Burbank]

That might just be your body. That might just Be age.

[Anya]

I should see a doctor about that. No, it has this little. It shines a little blue light from the base of the. Where the toilet kind of rests against the tile in the bathroom. There's like a toe kick on it, except it's just a little blue light that is shining on the floor of the bathroom. And if I just pass my foot through that blue light, it flushes the toilet. It's remarkable. It also, you know, there is a button on the side of the toilet that you can use to flush it if you want to. It does have a bidet.

[Luke Burbank]

Manual override.

[Anya]

Yeah. Like it's the 1970s or something. But yeah, you can. I mean, you could. And also there's a remote control for the bidet that is now installed on the wall that also has a flush button that you can use. So there's many different ways.

[Luke Burbank]

So wait a second. I know that you don't have youngsters in your house, but if you did have youngsters in your house, could there be a scenario where, let's say you have a couple of young siblings, not siblings of yours, but you have a couple of kids? Right. Could one kid.

[Anya]

One of my siblings is about to have a kid.

[Luke Burbank]

Really? Oh, oh, yeah, of course. Oh, David, congratulations. Yes. But could you have a situation where there's like one person on the toilet and the other person has the remote control outside the room and could just give them a surprise?

[Anya]

You just.

[Luke Burbank]

You.

[Anya]

Your brain always goes to the darkest timeline, whether it's cheating at cards because of the tall ships or power bidet someone. You're absolutely right. I never thought about that implication. That could absolutely happen. And it actually be pretty funny.

[Luke Burbank]

You're on Amazon right now getting extra remote controls.

[Anya]

Well, just, I mean, I mean, here's the thing. When people come over and visit and are using the toilet, I could just be sitting in the living room with the remote, just really messing with them. I did not think about that.

[Luke Burbank]

Like one of those big evil spinny chairs, like the guy. Like the claw from Inspector Gadget. Inspector Gadget. And you could just be like sitting, lounging back, petting a cat and messing with people's tuckuses.

[Anya]

Yep, yep. That's how I'm going to spend my spring and summer. But yeah, so it has a remote for the bidet, which actually the other bathroom has like an aftermarket bidet that I installed. It sits on top of the regular toilet. That one also, they're big with the remotes for the bidets. They love this technology. And I mean, to me, it's like. It's just the way to operate the bidet. You put it against the wall, you never take it out of the little sheath. Like, you don't need to be walking around the house with the bidet remote in your hand. You don't even need to have it in your hand while sitting on the toilet. Like, it's you. You attach it to the wall and then you just push the button and that's all you need to do.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. In my experience, people are. People are manhandling that remote too much. Like. Like if it's a TV remote or something, you're gonna want to wipe that down quite exactly.

[Anya]

Like. I think you've created a new kind of hygienic hazard, if you will. But anyway, this cast a diva. You know, the chaste goddess, as we all have known for a long time.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Anya]

Is. Oh, my gosh, it's so great. It also doesn't have a tank, which is. I don't know what the up or downside of that is, other than if you need to flush it twice in rapid succession, you don't have to wait for a tank to refill, which is kind of slick.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you for being a friend. I. I wanted to ask you a.

[Anya]

Question, by the way.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, I never told you that. I mean that you. You all. Everything that you said about me dreading this.

[Anya]

You can hear the horror in your voice.

[Luke Burbank]

What the horror was when you sent me a photo of yourself on the toilets.

[Anya]

Well, that was television's Chris Hayes, and you happen to be on the chain.

[Luke Burbank]

BCC'd on that one. I mean, honestly, after that, I don't think there's. I don't think there's any conversation I can't handle.

[Anya]

We haven't mentioned that on air yet, have we?

[Luke Burbank]

That.

[Anya]

Yes. I did send you a picture. You and Chris, a picture of me using the toilet in a. You know, you can see some leg, you can see some skin, but not too much. Not too much.

[Luke Burbank]

It's tasteful. I was gonna say, I am surprised. Or maybe they do and you just haven't mentioned it, but I would think a diva like this would have an app. No joke. Like, could you operate this thing with an app? Almost everything has an app. These. My oven has an app. And it has less, like, ins and outs than this thing.

[Anya]

That's a great question. I have not looked into that. I'm wondering if. If the. If the thing about the app is if it takes your remote control shenanigans to a whole new level, like, maybe they don't have an app because they're like, what would the possible use of this app be? Except I'm somewhere in Portugal and I want to make the blow dryer start blow drying your tuchus when you're just experiencing the toilet.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe they send a code that only the person on the toilet can see.

[Anya]

Dual factor authentication.

[Luke Burbank]

The six number code, six digit code. And then only you can hack it with that. But. So the casted diva. If I were to look this up, cast a diva, since we know, we always knew that it means something in the greater pop culture. Is this a toilet device? Is that what I should look up? Cast a diva toilet or just bidet? Okay, no, it's the whole.

[Anya]

The whole toilet. See, that's what I like about it is that the bidet is built into the toilet as opposed to the thing that I have going on my other. In the other bathroom, which is like this, like, secondary thing that I've added to the toilet that makes the whole thing seem kind of medical. As I've mentioned before, this one, what's slick about it is it's all contained in the toilet. There's a few different versions. I did not go with the most expensive version of this. There's like a. There's like a thousand dollar toilet or something. I didn't do that one. I did like the base model. I just wanted it to have a bidet built in, which it does. And I have to say it is. And the fact that I don't have to even touch it to flush it. Like I now, Andrew, when I wake up in the middle of the night, well, there's two things going on. One thing is that now my bedroom is connected to this new bathroom by just like, you know, I can walk right into it from my bedroom, which is pretty slick. And so there's that convenience when I wake up in the middle of the night to pee. And then there's also just the like. Like the seat temperature. You can adjust the temperature of the seat. You can make it nice and warm, or you can make it, you know, not very warm or whatever. You can adjust the temperature of the water. You can adjust the pressure of the water. There's different programs. So like, if, like you and I were living together, Andrew, and we were both using that same toilet, you could have your settings and I could have mine based on our preference. Like, when I wake up in the middle of the night now to go use this toilet, I legitimately am kind of excited about it now. Maybe that'll wear off after A couple of months. But as far as, you know, so far, it's like, I am filled with genuine enjoyment. And, like. And, like, maybe it's just the sense of accomplishment that this bathroom is almost done. It's still. I still need to. My dad and I still need to put up the shower glass. So there's a corner shower. So there's two things. There's a shower, and then there's a freestanding bathtub. And the idea of having those not be the same thing is what I noticed was at my old place in Bellingham, when we remodeled one of the bathrooms, we ended up with a. A bathtub that was independent of the shower. And what I found was I started taking baths a lot. It was actually very pleasurable because when you don't have to stand in the bathtub that you're showering. Like, if you don't have to shower in the bathtub, then the bathtub doesn't get gross as quickly, and you don't have to, like, you don't have to scrub the bathtub before taking a bath. It's kind of like the last thing you want to do if, you know you're kind of cold and miserable or you've been like, I've been doing this thing this week where I'll go on a jog, and it'll be outside, and it's kind of crummy. But then I get home, and then I put on one of my Pushkin industry podcasts, and then I sit in the bathtub, and I get all warmed up. But anyway, we still have to put the glass around the shower that's in the corner. But other than that, the bathroom is basically done. And I think maybe part of it is I just, like, sitting on my Castadeva toilet and surveying this room that used to be a kitchen and looking around and thinking, this used to be one thing, and now it's a different thing. It's very gratifying. But also, I think the toilet is helping.

[Luke Burbank]

Looking at the space toilet, I mean, I would not be totally shocked to. To hear that this thing is on little wheels, too. That it could just. You could just be sitting there, and then it could just start, like, you know, tooling you around your house a little bit. You could be checking out, or it comes to meet you, or it comes.

[Anya]

You're watching tv. You don't want to go all the way in the bathroom.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Anya]

You pull your pants down and you sit, and by the time you've done that, it's like a Roomba. It's oriented itself under you and the.

[Luke Burbank]

One time it runs low on batteries and it.

[Anya]

That's what you really have to be careful about.

[Luke Burbank]

I picture you also kind of riding around the perimeter of your property, just, you know, doing your like, summertime perimeter check or whatever. But instead of being on a little tractor, you're on this toilet that's just like.

[Anya]

Like it is made by John Deere. It's the John Deere cast.

[Luke Burbank]

Just waving like. Like the queen at everybody. I love it.

[Anya]

That is funny that, like, over time of living out here, kind of in the rural part of Southern Washington, you could say is it just becomes more and more things that I ride around on, whether it's my electric lawnmower or my new toilet. It's just like. It's just all about riding around on things out here. That's really the lifestyle.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, I have a question for you that has absolutely nothing to do with bathrooms, toilets, anything that we've talked about this week. Anything that's interesting to the listener. Anything that's interesting to you personally? No, I don't know why this is on my mind. Maybe it's just because it's Friday, but. And. And tomorrow the fun potentially begins because I am having some feelings about something that I've literally never had feelings about before in my life, at least broadly speaking, which is, and I'm sorry to use these words, super wild card weekend. Like, I don't know, I have, like. I have some sort of weird football fever that I feel like has.

[Anya]

Whoa.

[Luke Burbank]

That has sort of kicked in now that my allegiances to the NFL teams are slightly more spread out, I guess, you know, decentralized is the word I'm looking for. I think back in the day when I was like, intensely watching every Browns game and every Seahawks game, I put all of my energy into those two things. Every Sunday I found a way to watch them both, even if they were on at the same time. And like, it was a whole thing. Then over the past couple of years, because of my issues with the Browns organization, but then also with just like, priorities in life, sort of like, I haven't been watching any Browns games and I have been only catching parts of the Seahawks here and there's. I think that it is sort of like spread out my interest in the rest of the league. And so I feel like I've better. I mean, not. Don't quiz me, for God's sakes. I'm not saying that I'm an expert on this, but I have a slightly general better picture of what's going on as we go into the playoffs here. And I just, I had a thought earlier this morning when I woke up. I'm like, oh yeah, today's Friday. Okay. And I was like, I guess. And we don't. Tomorrow's a Saturday. I don't have any recordings tomorrow. That happens about every other week. Like tomorrow. My Saturday is pretty free and I have some home projects we're working on. But I was like, I could have Wild Card Weekend on in the background. And like, who am I talking? Super Wild Card Weekend, a phrase that.

[Anya]

Was something that just should be hosted by Wink Martindale.

[Luke Burbank]

It really does. No whammy. But anyway, I wasn't sure how you feel about that. And I also, if we could just gently, while we're on the talk topic of sports, mention that there's a. You and I have talked about the HBO show Hard Knocks and how I have not been interested in that in a long, long time. But did you know that the new one, the kind of in season Hard Knocks isn't about a team. It focuses on the entire AFC north, which is, you know, the Browns, Bengals, Ravens, Steelers, which is kind of like even though I don't root for the Browns anymore, I'm still like kind of interested in that. And I, I think I'm going to watch Hard Knocks tonight. Like none of this. I feel like I've changed a lot in the past 12 hours, honestly.

[Anya]

We get you a cast of diva. You're essentially, we're freaky. We're Freaky Friday.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Anya]

Or Freak A Friday, the adult version of the movie Freaky Friday. I like that we're absolutely switching places because guess what, Andrew, I don't give two flips about Super Wild Card Weekend.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, you're telling me you don't care about the Chargers at the Texans at 1:30 local time here.

[Anya]

You're the first I'm hearing about either of these teams even existing. No, you know what? It's actually, I'm really glad, glad you brought this up because this is a feeling I've been having and it relates to our friend. And by, by when I say our friend, I mean a person neither of us have ever met but who we hold in high esteem. Mina Kimes.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh yeah.

[Anya]

I follow Mina Kimes on Blue sky on the ascendant social media platform. Blue sky, and I mean is from Seattle. Mina's a, you know, Seahawks fan. But, but of course a an NFL like a reporter who covers every aspect of the NFL. Her job is to know about and have thoughts about everything that happens in the NFL. And yet, Andrew, when the Seahawks have gotten blown out or when they've been eliminated from the playoffs or whatever. And like within hours I see Mina Kimes just posting about Lamar Jackson. I'm like, you feel, are you even a Seahawks fan?

[Luke Burbank]

Right, dude?

[Anya]

Like, oh, we have Justin Herbert thoughts.

[Luke Burbank]

What?

[Anya]

Like, I find it personally an affront when she's not in mourning the way that I am, which is totally ridiculous. Like would I. And the same thing with college football. Like, not that the Huskies are, you know, the UW Huskies are some great program right now in college football. And in fact I had a very. My relationship with Husky football this year was much like your relationship with Seahawks football. Mild curiosity. If I'm in a room and it's playing, I'll watch it.

[Luke Burbank]

We're both rooting for these teams. I don't make sure.

[Anya]

Absolutely. But like not going to rearrange my day, not going to do anything different around this other than, you know, be vaguely aware that it's happening. That was kind of my relationship with the Huskies this year because again, they weren't a particularly dynamic team or whatever. They do have this good, this quarterback that it's like at least like a Kyler Murray Jr. I think he's going to be really good next year. But anyway, all that is to say what I have learned this year is that I am not a fan of the sport of football writ large like you are. You're becoming a fan of maybe individual players and maybe the, the beauty of the game. If there's, if you can, if you can describe it. I mean the, obviously the, the sort of. What's the word I'm looking for. The brutality of the game is the real issue. But you know, can I tell you something about the beauty of the game that is finally back, which I have been advocating this for years. And you know, I like to a lot of times when we're talking about football say this isn't an X's and O's conversation. This is 100% an ex's. I want to salute NFL teams for finally bringing back the hook and ladder play this year. It is the smartest play and I do not understand how it has been underutilized all these years. It is, it is so effective, I feel, which is where one guy runs out and catches the ball and by design another dude from his team is running near him and then he flips that guy the ball. Now it will become less effective over time because now defenses will start to practice for it. But I salute the teams that this year have brought back the hook. And first of all, it's the most fun play to watch. And second of all, defenses are not ready for it. So all I was going to say is you. It seems Andrew, are moving into, like, being an appreciator again with all the caveats and all the things that we acknowledge on this show about how bad football is for humanity. But that being said, you're like, hey, it's a good game between two well matched teams and maybe there's a player here or there who I'm personally interested in. I have the exact opposite experience. The second, literally the second that the Rams prevailed and therefore this. The second that the Rams beat the Cardinals a couple weeks ago and then statistically eliminated the Seahawks from the playoffs. I believe that was the game that did it, right?

[Luke Burbank]

No, the game mostly did it, but there was still some, like, strength of schedule. Weird. Crazy. Yeah.

[Anya]

And I think it had to do maybe with the Falcons or something.

[Luke Burbank]

I do.

[Anya]

I think there was like a Monday night game. All I can say is the moment that whatever thing happened to eliminate the Seahawks from whatever teeny statistical chance they had, something inside of me just shut down just to like a, you know, like a rolling door at a storage unit, just. And then you just locked it. And then I was like, I know. I mean, like, I'll watch the super bowl if there's like a, you know, if there's a game that pits the. The Chiefs and the Ravens, you know, and the. The AFC Championship or something, I'll watch that. Those are good teams. Like, I'll catch a game here or there, but super wild Card weekend where you've got like. Like you said, I had no idea that the Chargers or Texans were in the playoffs.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm just looking at that now. Yeah, I mean, that's. I picked the one that is like the. The least interesting to. I think almost anybody outside of Chargers fans and Texans fans, you know. No. No offense, but, you know, one thing that I would sort of say is. And this is just me about not misrepresenting myself or my passions. I think I'm trying to live up to it. I. I don't know that I even like you. You said, like, I appreciate the game more in a certain way. It's more superficial than that. It's more like the storylines, I would say. And maybe this is just a reflect. Listening to, like, I don't know. Have I listened to more sports radio this year than previous years? I don't. I don't think so. But Maybe I'm just hearing more, paying attention more to like, oh, well, what's going to happen when, you know, I just think that the, the Minnesota Detroit situation is really interesting. You know, those two teams being in the same division and being so good, but only, obviously only one can actually make it to the Super Bowl. Like, I don't know, it's just sort of like even maybe hearing people talk about, I don't know, like, I never care about, like, mvp, like quarterback conversations, but, like, could it be Josh Allen's year or whatever? I don't know. There's just like, stuff like that that I'm finding myself a little bit more interested in. And especially again, now that I'm kind of your description of like, roll shutting down the roller garage door, like a, like a Seattle beer hall after last call speaks to me, like, and that's where I am certainly as a baseball fan. And I'm trying to make. I'm trying to change that a little bit. My, I guess love quote, unquote, love of baseball is kind of. That's a fraudulent statement. I have a love of the Mariners. I would say I have a pretty thin grasp on baseball, to be honest with you. You know, and I will say. And then. And I'm also a bitter MFer that stands for Motor Fruits. Motor Fruits. And anyways, so, like, by the time the World Series comes around, especially this last one, but by the time the World Series comes around, I'm so angry and bitter and EMP and just a husk of a fan at that point that I have no desire in the postseason. I feel like football again. Maybe it's because my passion isn't as intensified on two specific teams. It sort of has dissipated, but spread across the league more. And it's kind of fun.

[Anya]

I mean, it makes more sense in a way, because what it does is it gives you more. And again, I have to keep saying this. All of this is against the backdrop of the fact that football is manifestly bad for people. Like, so it's weird to say. Well, the good news, Andrew, is you have more ways to love this evil.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, after this, by the way, if we have time, I want to give an endorsement for cigarettes and children drinking. If that's you no longer a Marlboro.

[Anya]

Man, you'll smoke anything.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. You want to get Camel wide? Sure.

[Anya]

If you, if you want to go purely from the standpoint of, like, what gives you the most different things in football, NFL football, to be interested in so that you don't have to Roll down the garage door of your heart when your team is eliminated. Because think about it. Every single year, every team except the team that wins the super bowl, so in other words, the Kansas City Chiefs, every single year, everyone at some level is a loser and has to deal with their team not succeeding in the ultimate way. And, and so that means every fan base except one is going to feel kind of dejected at the end of the year. And yet we do it. Whereas if you kind of like you said, said decentralize and just become kind of like a random fan of plot lines, like how is Detroit's defense going to recover from the loss of Aiden Hutchinson? You know, like if you just become a fan of plot lines. There are a lot of plot lines out there all the time. You know, C.J. stroud, overrated. Like, did he get too high on his own supply or you know, what do. We don't even, we're not even talking about Bryce Young right now. Had a pretty decent last game of the season. Is he not a bus.

[Luke Burbank]

Bryce Young? Is that the, that's not Patriots.

[Anya]

He's the Panthers Panthers guy. He's the guy who was, he was, he was. I think he was the number on overall pick of his year. And then he's in that. Oh boy. I'm going, I'm going out on a limb here. But like my. Because Carolina Panthers, other than being the preferred team of Ked Woodley. I have a very, I have a very, very. Oh, of course I've got my, my computer muted when I, I, I think the story with Bryce Young was he, he kind of, you know, this happens a lot. You draft a quarterback super high, you put them on a team that's not particularly good and then you run them out there and they, they don't have very good protection. They don't have very good people to throw to and then they like have trouble and then you write them off as bust. And now the, the, the here's a plot line that's fun. Then they go to another team some years later and you're like, well, I guess Sam Darnold can kind of play.

[Luke Burbank]

Wow.

[Anya]

I guess you know who else is in that category this for a long time now. But like there are these quarterbacks that are doing pretty well that were sort of thought to be bus. Anyway.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, the very interesting example of that I think and I may be oversimplifying this, but I think of. And actually we should move on because I really didn't mean to get like too detailed into the league here, but just More about how I find myself thinking like, ooh, because by the way, I am rooting number one for Baker Mayfield and he's still in it. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers. He has thrown more touchdowns this season than any Browns touchdown has. Has thrown since I think the 1960s or something. I think he's up in the 40 plus category and the Browns just let him go. So anyway, I got a huge chip on my shoulder regarding that, but I cut you off and I can't remember what I was going to. Oh, I was going to say the Stafford golf thing I think was interesting because there were two teams where these, you know, like, you know, quarterbacks with a lot of potential were living. We're playing way below their potential. They do a one on one switch. The two teams just trade quarterbacks and they both become much, much like Stafford won a. No, it was Goff who won the. No, no. Stafford who won the super bowl the next year.

[Anya]

Yeah, you know what? It's like this happened in my high school when I was a kid. There were these two families. I will hold the names because there's probably a small chance that somebody from my high school days might tune into this. But there were these two families and these people were very involved in the church and the Christian lifestyle. And it turned out out that, that the husband from one of the families and they had, of course, kids that I was in high school with, the husband of one of the families was having an affair with the wife of one of the other families, which was, you know, pretty big deal in that world. And then I'll be damned if then the two kind of jilted spouses didn't get together.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, wow. Family swap.

[Anya]

That's. And I think, I don't know if any of them long term stayed together, but I know there was a period for like a. Probably a year or two where it was like just. Yeah. Full on swapped.

[Luke Burbank]

Wow, Weird holiday season. I am gonna say something absolutely ridiculous here that sounds unbelievable, but I promise you, as you were building up to this story, which I don't think I was familiar with, I thought you were leading up to them somehow swapping kids. And I was like, how in the world is this?

[Anya]

If my parents could have swapped kids, they would act when I was.

[Luke Burbank]

Because you were talking about like, well, I went to school with these kids and this other family had kids, I thought. And they were just like, you know what, let's just swap kids for a while. That seems wrong.

[Anya]

That would be. I'm telling you. Thank God that wasn't an option because my parents would have definitely taken it. Can we get rid of this absolute burr under the saddle that is our family called Luke?

[Luke Burbank]

They do like to a salary dump on you and Sarah.

[Anya]

We're going to take a cap hit on this, but it's worth it. Honestly. How much dead money do we have if we. If we try to ship Luke.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you for being a.

[Anya]

Talking about a cap hit. Talking about dead money. This is some live money we're talking about, Andrew. This is. This is honestly in as in the way that NFL teams when they make a bad decision and they overpay someone and then they're kind of on the hook for it. It. This is the opposite. What I'm about to describe to you is some of the best use of money that you can possibly make, which is supporting tbtl.

[Luke Burbank]

This is with a gift. This is cash considerations. This is what it is. We're trading content for cash.

[Anya]

This is for a podcast to be named later.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly.

[Anya]

And this is coming from Christine Durgan, who's in Awasso, Michigan. I wonder who Christine is going to be rooting for in this playoff series. I have a feeling it might be the Detroit Lions.

[Luke Burbank]

And I think you're going to have a lot of people around the country behind you on that one one.

[Anya]

Absolutely.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you, Christine.

[Anya]

John Smith is in Tacoma, Washington. I don't know John Smith's football allegiance, if any, but we know that John is. Is allied with TBTL and is supporting the program. I had somebody, I had a friend from my real life reach out and say, hey, I want to donate to the show. What do I need to donate to get mentioned on the air? And then Andrew, because I'm a detail guy. I then texted TBTL employee numero uno, John Scarf said, how much does somebody need to donate to get mentioned on the air?

[Luke Burbank]

Is that g to say here while we're thinking, I believe this is.

[Anya]

I believe $15 a month.

[Luke Burbank]

That's my understanding of it as well.

[Anya]

Is the. Is. Is the going rate for one of these mentions. So just know all of these people have donated at a minimum that amount.

[Luke Burbank]

Per month to this show, which ain't nothing, man.

[Anya]

It's not nothing. It's like an HBO Max. It's probably. That's like a. That's like a ad free Netflix.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. We're an ad free.

[Anya]

You know, butt flicks.

[Luke Burbank]

Sorry, I was just trying to think of the toilet talk. That wasn't good. We'll beep it.

[Anya]

It's so funny how you. You Push back on these things and then you just dive headlong. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

I never pushed back.

[Anya]

Cindy Petzka. No, Pestka, but not Pestka. I'm looking in. Hold on, let me. Andrew.

[Luke Burbank]

No, you're right. Are you putting on your glasses?

[Anya]

Reading glasses, Pestca.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Anya]

Now that's confusing. Cause we've got a friend, Mike Pesca.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Anya]

Without the T. The. The gist. And that's a P, E, S, C, A Pesca, which I believe means fish related.

[Luke Burbank]

Peach.

[Anya]

I think it's peach.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, it is. Oh, why did. I think it was. That's why.

[Anya]

That's why his. Well, it's a common misconception. That's why it's called his. His company is called Peach Fish Productions because it turns out that it both has a fish sort of ramification. Or not ramification, but definition. And also peach.

[Luke Burbank]

Go.

[Anya]

This is Cindy Pestka, P E S T K A in Seattle, Washington.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you very much, Cindy. And I'm sorry that. I'm sorry that your beloved Seahawks aren't in the. Aren't in. Super.

[Anya]

Cindy is also recently divested from specific Seahawk allegiance.

[Luke Burbank]

She's.

[Anya]

She's got all kinds of different, you know, irons and different fires. Rob Rundblad is in Charlevo, Michigan. I think I know what Rob's going to be doing. Not this weekend, because the Lions, I assume, have a buy.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, they do.

[Anya]

But. But, but we love to see Rob's name on here. Thanks, Rob. We really appreciate you. Jesse Finarelli is in. I should have made a left at Albuquerque.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right.

[Anya]

New Mexico.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you, Jesse. Appreciate it.

[Anya]

I think I've asked you this before. In fact, I know I have. We have.

[Luke Burbank]

Have.

[Anya]

We stayed in. We. We camped near that casino in. Outside of Albuquerque, right?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Anya]

When we were road tripping to Texas.

[Luke Burbank]

Wait a second.

[Anya]

You and I.

[Luke Burbank]

This wasn't Miracle on Dirt Night, was it? Was that Arizona?

[Anya]

I think that was Miracle on Dirt Night. Mike. Mike Zannino. Hero Night. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Right. Exactly. Oh, yeah. But you know what? I see that. That was just a reminder. That trip we took in the RV was part of a. Was part of a tbtl. A thon. Right. And you know, asking for donations. This was way back in 2017. And just to fact check you there, Luke, for a second, I typed Albuquerque. I say that wrong even when I'm trying to say it wrong the right way. But you sent out an email. Greetings from the road to Albuquerque. Luke Burbank sent this out in June of 2017. And it was just a little Note out to our listeners and donors letting us know what we've been doing on the road trip so far. So that does sort of put this in a time and place.

[Anya]

But then for some reason I've stayed in a hotel in Albuquerque across the street from where the Isotopes played.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, okay. For a different. For a different game.

[Anya]

Must have been a CBS trip or something because that's what I was trying to clarify was like we weren't staying. You and I didn't stay at a hotel in Albuquerque across the street from where the Isotopes plane. That was a different trip that I can't remember the exact reason for. I wonder if I was filming there or something.

[Luke Burbank]

You and I were. Well, this isn't really helping the show at all to do this.

[Anya]

Jesse loves this kind of.

[Luke Burbank]

You and I were at that prpd. That was in Arizona though. Right. Didn't you and I stay. And I stayed in a haunted. Did I say in a haunted hotel or. I considered.

[Anya]

Well, I considered staying ghosts would have been an improvement from the clientele, I think.

[Luke Burbank]

Wait, no, no. Remember, it wasn't. It wasn't a bad hotel. It was just a really old, like a really, really old classic hotel. Right. Although the elevators did break, remember I stayed in some sort of like hundred year old hotel or something like that.

[Anya]

Did you change your mind? Were you initially going to stay somewhere a little bit, let's just say, on the seedy side of life and somebody talked you out of it?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, I think maybe I was looking to really save cash or something because I think. Was I on the ap? Did I get APM to send me out there?

[Anya]

I think you might have been maybe even on your own dime or something.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what? I think I was on my own dime because yeah, I don't think they would send me to prpd. But you were doing a live wire.

[Anya]

Yeah, we were doing livewire at prpd.

[Luke Burbank]

And you did a live wire. Yeah. Or you also did a live wire, like kind of right outside, right in that little theater. That's when you had Penn Jillette on and you had the hot pepper eater. Anyway, all of that is to say I know that we were in that kind of part of the country then as well. But that is not get us any closer to thanking our donors.

[Anya]

Nor does it bring us any closer to Puyallup, Washington, which is where Laura Case Nagai is checking in.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you, Laura.

[Anya]

Laura, thank you so much. Appreciate you supporting us from all the way down there in Puyallup or up there in Puyallup if we're talking about. From my perspective, I don't know why that kind of thing really is important to me. But, you know, when. Well, we've.

[Luke Burbank]

You.

[Anya]

And I reference it often with the Mud Crutch song that you turned me on to up in Mississippi Tonight.

[Luke Burbank]

I think about it because of, I.

[Anya]

Guess, Tom Petty being, what, in Jacksonville at that time?

[Luke Burbank]

Was that where he was in Jacksonville? Yeah. And I just think it's so interesting that, like, no matter. Any other songwriter anywhere else in the country would say down in Mississippi, but for Tom Petty there in Florida, it's up in Mississippi tonight.

[Anya]

I love that I was having. I've been having recurring Tom Petty thoughts of late because there is this Traveling Wilbury song, end of the Line that.

[Luke Burbank]

I really like that end of the line. I think they're all on that one too, right? Don't they kind of all switch off or verses?

[Anya]

Yes, exactly. And. And Tom Petty has a line where he's like, I'm just happy to be here, happy to be alive. And I'm like, oh, yeah. Oh, man. Like, I love that guy. I love that guy's music. And there's something about hearing him say, I'm just happy to be alive to know that he isn't alive anymore. It was really kind of a sort of a bittersweet moment.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, yeah, I agree. I'm a huge fan of Tom Petty. The funny thing is, is Tom Petty music reminds me a little bit of like, well, what would be Bob's Burgers in this way? Very filled with puns and some of Kristen Schall's best work? No, just that, like, I love Bob's Burgers and I feel like I've watched so much Bob's Burgers, yet there's always a new Bob's Burgers that I haven't seen somehow. Like, there's just so much. And I feel the same way about Tom Petty music, whether it's with the Heartbreakers, without the Heartbreakers, whether it's the Traveling Wilbury's or his other Mud Crutch because he kind of reconvened Mud Crutch. Like, there's so much Tom Petty. And so when I say I love Tom Petty, I could see somebody coming up and saying, okay, well, then name all of his albums in order. And I would be exposed.

[Anya]

Oh, as would I. I mean, here's what I can give you. Chapter and verse on Full Moon Fever. Why Columbia House CD company got that bad boy on Columbia House. And. And that one I've got down cold. I Know one mud crutch song. Thanks to you.

[Luke Burbank]

Up Mississippi tonight.

[Anya]

Hey, that's not bad, dude. Actually pretty good.

[Luke Burbank]

Been working on it.

[Anya]

So anyway, thanks to all of our donors. We're just happy to be here.

[Luke Burbank]

Happy to be alive, indeed. Hello and welcome to Top Story.

[Anya]

All right, it's the end of the week. Or as the Wilberries put it, end of the line, Andrew. So I'll try to get through these without too much delay. But I've been. I've been weirdly going to the mall semi frequently with Becca. Becca is what I would call a return girly. She does not like trying clothes on at the store.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't blame her.

[Anya]

Her policy, it's a remarkable one to observe, is to just buy things things, try them on at home, and then take them back. Like there is. There has never been a time when she didn't have at least three items in the queue being like, oh, hey, can we hit Washington Square? I've got to take these back to Zara. Like. And so we, you know, we go to the mall. We kind of got this little ritual going on the weekends now. Oftentimes we'll go hit Costco. Are we using her mom's card, Pop? Possibly.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, illegal.

[Anya]

I mean, I think maybe it's. She's on her mom's card or something. What I know is I am not paying for any Costco membership.

[Luke Burbank]

Look into it. I love running errands with. With my partner. I think it's a great way to spend you grab some lunch somewhere. Maybe you find yourself in a part of the city that you're not usually in because you had to reach this just. I'm sorry to cut off your story, but just last weekend, Veeves and I, I had to return some shoes. I'm really bummed. You know how you always ask me if my slip on shoes are toms from that company? Toms I actually know.

[Anya]

I think I asked you if they. I think I asked you if they're.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, dudes, you do ask me that. I thought you asked me one time if they were Tom's. Maybe I might have never had those classic Toms slip ons. I actually bought a pair recently. Bought them online. I'm a size 13. Have been a size 13 my whole life. Luke, sorry, I'm really stealing your story here, but I think because of this arthritis stuff, I can't fit into slip on 13s anymore. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm now looking at, at like, by the way, big and tall Men's shoe stores have never seen a bad font they don't like. I know I've been talking about fonts a lot, but like, there's something diametrically opposed to running a store that sells shoes that are size 14 and bigger and having any kind of a font that is not like just absolutely aggressively bad. Aggressively bad. Having said all that, I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do about my slip on situation, but I bought these shoes online. I was really dismayed to know that they don't fit, but I had to return them and I just kind of didn't feel like it's dsw, for whatever it's worth. So it's a relatively easy design shoe warehouse. Yes. What is it actually? Is it design shoe? Yeah. Yeah. But you think, didn't you grow up thinking it was something else?

[Anya]

Like, yeah, I thought it was. I confused it with. I saw the W as being wide. Oh yeah, you thought it was something wide. These shoes, wide.

[Luke Burbank]

All of that is to say I had to return these. I didn't feel like returning them via mail. I just like, like, let's just drive up to Linwood and return them with the DSW up there. And then Veeves was like, well, I got to buy this stuff for my vanilla making project and we can grab some lunch. And then we had like seven different errands. It's just such a wonderful way to spend a day with somebody you love.

[Anya]

It is. You know what? And I think I have, you know, for a long time I kind of saw errands as like a, you know, like a hassle or something that'd be kind of, I don't dreaded is overstating it. But just being like, now I'm with you. It's like a fun little ritual and it usually involves a Costco stop and maybe like Trader Joe's. And also part of it is I now live in a place where like, most of the good stuff we don't have here, I. E. Like a Trader Joe's. I know you're not a big Trader Joe's guy, but like, there's just, it's very, very basic, the stuff that exists out here where I live. So if I'm in the big city, I want to try to like hit all of the places that we don't have out here and in Cowlitz County. But anyway, all that is to say we go out to the mall on a semi regular basis and it always seems kind of packed to me and I can't figure out how to what I think about the sort of reports that the, you know, the malls of America, as it were, are dying or something, because here's an article from Jordan valinsky writing for CNN. A zombie mall store king is born. JCPenney merges with Forever 21. What's basically happened is you got all of these failing retailers that are just now slowly kind of digesting each other in some sort of as they circle the bowl or something. JCPenney is merging with a company that owns a number of other once bankrupt clothing stores, including Forever 21 and Brooks Brothers. This new company is called Spark Group Group. These are the companies they own the Lucky Brand, Eddie Bauer, Nautica, Aeropostale. And now they're going to acquire JCPenney. And this is all going to be bundled together in a new company called, wait for it, Catalyst Brands. What I mean, if nothing, nothing indicates just how dynamic this company is going to be. Andrew, like the name Catalyst Brands.

[Luke Burbank]

I, you know, I'm curious to hear a little bit more about this mall, though, because what mall are you going to like, honestly? And I just haven't been to a mall. I mean, I talk about going up to like the Alderwood Mall area here and that's in Linwood. But I guess is there actually still a mall associated with that? Because I haven't set, I don't think I've set foot in a mall since the Northgate Mall existed. And that's been a long time now.

[Anya]

Rest in power. Well, I was in the Alderwood Mall a while ago because I bought a watch for Addie for Christmas, like a vintage watch, and I wanted to have it inscribed.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Anya]

So I, and the only place I could find was at Alderwood Mall. For some reason I didn't, I don't.

[Luke Burbank]

Think I realized it was in the mall. So what was the condition? That was about two years ago. I think it was a jewel.

[Anya]

It was a watch and a jewelry store. I think maybe primarily focus on the watch that happened to be in the Alderwood Mall. They did a really nice job.

[Luke Burbank]

And how was the state of the mall?

[Anya]

It. Well, it was like three days before Christmas or something. So I think. Was it before Christmas or before.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it was her birthday. I remember that watch.

[Anya]

It seemed busy to me. And that, that's the thing. So the mall that we tend to go to, there's, there's a mall called Bridgeport Village, which is like a kind of a fancy mall. It has a Crate and Barrel in it, and it's one of those Kind of malls. That's sort of an indoor outdoor mix, you know, which is. Seems to be where a lot of these upscale malls have gone. And then you've got the Washington Square Mall, which is just kind of your standard. I mean, it's much like Northgate or Alderwood if you're in the Seattle area. Just your kind of standard mall. You know, enter through a. Like a door adjacent to a Cheesecake Factory and, you know, you'll pass a couple of sunglass huts.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Video game store.

[Anya]

Sees candy and some kind of weird massage chair.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my God, I can smell it. I'm not even joking. As you just. I can smell the Auntie M's pretzels.

[Anya]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm not even joking. The. And feeling very nostalgic as you say this, because, like, I. I grew up very much in mall culture. You know, being a kid going. Being dragged to the mall with my mom and then being old enough to go to the mall. Mall so I could smoke cigarettes with my friends in the. In the. In the food area. The food court area.

[Anya]

Yeah, right. Like, and. And again, maybe I just happened to be going to malls at the absolute peak of. Of. Of sort of attendance. But they seem like they're all kind of like the way they were when I was a kid. There's people in them. What's going on, apparently, with this whole merger is that. That this group, Spark Group, about to become Catalyst, their financial. Their biggest backer is the. Is Simon, and I believe Simon, this company are the. They're the real estate developers that develop most of the big malls now, or at least they're one of the biggies. So what you basically have are the guys or the people who own the malls, the physical malls, malls who need to have stores in them, but all the stores are failing. So they're just basically like, propping up these stores so that they can have stores in their malls, which they're building new malls. Not building new malls, but trying to keep.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh. Maintain their tenants. I see. Yeah.

[Anya]

So if you have a JC Pennies that's like, you know, about to go out of business and you don't want your mall to lose its JC Pennies, well, what do you do?

[Luke Burbank]

You.

[Anya]

You do some kind of a merger deal where you basically are kind of like underwriting the JC Penney so that they'll stay in your mall so people come to your mall.

[Luke Burbank]

I was reading you. You had this story on the show sheet yesterday, I think, and so I'd read it there, but then today, another version of this appeared in the Seattle Times with more of a focus on the Eddie Bauerness of it all. I don't think I realized that Eddie Bauer was originally a Seattle, like kind of a homegrown brand. And was that a point of pride when you were growing up here in the 90s?

[Anya]

Well, hugely. And the way that that entered my consciousness was there was this, like, somebody out there will remember this better than I can and they'll clarify in the emails, but, like, there was something where it was like, Eddie Bauer. I don't think it was employee day, but it was like Eddie Bauer warehouse sale day or something. And I don't know if it was stuff that had been returned or if it was stuff that was discontinued. I don't remember. I don't know. The rules were I never went to it, but this was legendary. When I was a kid, people would line up outside of an Eddie Bauer. Again, I don't know if it was the headquarters or a warehouse somewhere. People would wait in line for hours to get access to a bunch of Eddie. This would be like one weekend out of the year where everything was like half off or 80 off, some crazy deal. I remember, like, this was like a thing people in the church would be going to. They'd be like, we've got all this Eddie Bauer stuff, and it was pennies on the dollar. I think my dad literally, to this day wears a hat that's an Eddie Bauer. Kind of like not a fedora, but what, like, what do you call a hat that's like bigger than a fedora but kind of a wide brim? He's got a cowboy hat, but like.

[Luke Burbank]

Not a 1940s, like, gangster hat.

[Anya]

No, it's more like you would wear it for like, fishing or outdoor stuff, but not.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, like, not a bucket hat, though.

[Anya]

No, not a bucket hat. I would. Honestly, I would. We start talking about having him institutionalized if he showed up in a bucket hat at his age.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, really? Oh, I mean, what do you think.

[Anya]

Of as a bucket hat?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, yeah, maybe I'm using that sort of wrong. Elegant wears well, sort of a little bit longer. Like. Like listener Bill, who. Who works for the Canadian Post. Right. Like, sent me. I don't know if I'm supposed to say this because I think.

[Anya]

See that I don't think of as a bucket hat because name bucket hat indicates it's shaped like a bucket.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, like all the way down.

[Anya]

It doesn't have upside down. That's why it's called a bucket hat.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, then. Oh, are you talking about the kind of hat I'm talking about. And we don't know the name of it then, because I call those bucket hats the kind that, like, have a brim that goes all the way around, maybe even a string that potentially drops down.

[Anya]

I don't think that's a bucket hat because it doesn't look like a bucket. I think a bucket hat is like. Is basically like a hat that is like an inverted bucket, hence the name. And I associate that with a certain era of the band Oasis. And if my dad showed up looking like Noel Gallagher, I would be really deeply upset by that.

[Luke Burbank]

I could be wrong about this, but it does seem that bucket hat might encompass both of the kinds of hats we're talking about. I'm seeing one here early in a search result being sold by Zara. That is called a utility bucket hat. There's a handsome man. He's wearing the exact kind of hat that you and I are talking about. Again, kind of wide brim that sticks out a little bit in a string that comes down potentially around. But then there are all. Also plenty of photos of the kind that you're talking about with a much smaller brim that, like, kind of hangs down. So I understand why it would be funny to see your dad in one of those, but maybe a listener can tell us specifically the name of the kind of hat we're talking about.

[Anya]

Yeah. Do we have any listeners that work in the haberdashery space? I'm now googling this just to try to find if there's an example of it from, like, the Eddie Bauer website. I'm not finding it right now, but.

[Luke Burbank]

All that is to say REI Co op Sahara bucket hat. I think that's what we're talking about here. Maybe.

[Anya]

R E I Co op Sahara bucket hat.

[Luke Burbank]

Now, I could have just sent this to you, but this way, the list.

[Anya]

No, it's more fun to hear. That's my process. That's how, you know, I'll tell you what, this is made out of a different material. His is like felt.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, wow.

[Anya]

Yeah, I knew. I knew that would get your attention. All that is to say.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Anya]

All of that is to say, Andrew, I believe my dad is still rocking something from Ed. Eddie Bauer from the Eddie Bauer sale. Like, Paul Lavanway may have waited in line all day to get into this thing and then got this hat. And then my dad, you know, paid him whatever he paid for the hat. Like this all. My long winded point is, Eddie Bauer loomed very large in my mind as a kid, as something that was very fancy. And that there was a once a year, like, super discount on. That was, that was my conception of Eddie Bauer. And it makes me sad to see it's sort of, you know, its current state where it's more like, it's more like something now where there's just like, if you're driving and you're seeing, you know, the, the shops at Creek in the Cave or whatever, you're like the outlet stores. You'll just see like an Eddie Bauer outlet store, which is. Did you know this about the outlet brands? That they are not actually the same stuff from the regular version of the store. So if you were to go to like, the, the outlet mall and you, there's a J. Crew there, you're not buying. I always thought for years that what it was was like J. Crew. They then, when, when they can't sell something or whatever, they then send their stuff to the J. Crew outlet store. So if you go in the J. Crew outlet store, maybe you can get something that would normally retail for a hundred dollars. It's 20 bucks. What a deal. Yeah, no, it's totally different stuff. It's just their outlet version. It's just lower quality.

[Luke Burbank]

Wait, what? What, What?

[Anya]

You didn't know this?

[Luke Burbank]

No, I, and again, I thought you were going somewhere else with that. I thought you were going to tell me that a store can kind of like, that's not officially associated with J. Crew. If that's the example that you use. You can like kind of run your own business and maybe franchise with J. Crew and just like kind of take all their oversupply and sell it. But it doesn't go back in the J. Crew coffers, you're saying. No, it is an extension. It is run by the J. Crew company. But they're making specific products to sell in that style of store that does. It must have evolved to be that, right? Like back in the day, it must have been just overstepped stock. Well, you don't know. Yeah, I know.

[Anya]

I, I, I don't even know what we call my dad's hat. Andrew. I've got more questions and answers on this Friday, but here's what the Internet is saying. Outlet brands are not always exactly as the same, the same as regular brands. As many outlet stores sell a separate line of products specifically made for the outlet, which may have slightly lower quality materials or design variations compared to the items in the regular or retail stores, which, that blew my mind when I figured that out, because the whole appeal of the outlet store to me was we're getting a screaming deal on the stuff from the regular store, but now it's here and I'm going to pay less for it. It's like, no, they're in a lot of cases just making a lower quality version of it and they're selling it here.

[Luke Burbank]

I wonder if that's true for like, Filene's Basement, which is that. No, that's not the one that's here. I think here it'd be like Nordstrom Rack. Filene's thing. Yeah, same. So you're familiar with that model of both. Right? Like. So I wonder if, like, Nordstrom Rack Rack is similar, because I always thought Nordstrom Drac was a stuff that couldn't be sold in Nordstrom. And so it's discounted and sold.

[Anya]

I think. I think Nordstrom Rack is its own thing.

[Luke Burbank]

Good lord.

[Anya]

I know, right?

[Luke Burbank]

The world is moving too quickly, Luke.

[Anya]

I'm sorry, Andrew, that I had to blow your mind like that on this Friday, but I think Nordstrom Rack is. Yeah, it's kind of the same thing. There's stuff that gets made for Nordstrom Rack and sold at Nordstrom Rack. It's not just the stuff from regular Nordstrom that they couldn't sell. Maybe that's the case sometimes. But all that is to say. Yeah, I. I feel like we keep hearing about the demise of the American Mall. And it would seem, according to this article, that it is happening. Because these, like J.C. penney's is. I mean, they're having trouble. Macy's. They just announced today that, like two Macy's in Portland are closing. I think Macy's is kind of not long for this world. We've talked about this before, but it's like part of the death spiral of these companies seems to be. See that if you go into a pennies and yes, we did call it pennies.

[Luke Burbank]

I was gonna say you keep on calling it JC Pennies. It's actually JC Penny, but my family called it pennies. Like, you just.

[Anya]

We called it pennies too.

[Luke Burbank]

Pennies. Hey, I'm going to pennies. Yeah.

[Anya]

Yes. Always pennies. Like, and we wouldn't. We didn't buy clothes there, but we did get our, like, photos, like family photos there. Because, you know, they would, like, they would trick my mom into like, you know, $5 set of 20 family photos. And then we'd go there and somehow, you know, it'd be kind of a bait and switch or whatever. But like, we would go to the pennies, as we called it. Yeah. At Northgate Mall. A lot and just wander around. But like the death spiral of these places seems to be that like every time you go in and by the way there's a mall right by where you and John stayed last year for the thon that you're just within like spitting distance of a Pennies.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. You know that mall was weird. Like I was basically. Our hotel was kind of in the parking lot of part of and I would walk through that parking lot quite a bit to go to the grocery store that was sort of around the corner. But it seemed like I thought it was a zombie mall. I didn't know.

[Anya]

It looks pretty zombied out. I'll be honest. I've been. But I've been in the pennies there. Andrew.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Anya]

Like to buy stuff when I, I think I needed like a belt or something there was and it was dead and everything's like 100% off. It's a tough business model when the way. And remember we talked about, about this when some guy who used to be kind of credited with a lot of the Apple Store branding, I believe he was hired by Pennies or Macy's, one of the two to come in and like judge it up and use that same kind of like design element that you know the Apple Store is famous for. And then it was a complete failure because people were like we're only going to this store because everything's 100% off.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I want some. We're Musky jeans.

[Anya]

We're not coming here because it's a glass cube full of people, you know, in, in blue shirts who know more about computers than we do or whatever the vibe of an Apple Store is. That's not why you're going to, to Macy's or Penny's. That was a short lived experiment that did not end well at all. And that seems to be the problem is these places have to constantly try to undercut their prices and undercut themselves to get people in there. But in doing that there's no profit to be made.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah and I, I could, I see the conundrum for these types of stores, these legacy like you and I can sort of wax nostalgic about it a little bit and even like even some of the negative things about it but I just have so many memories associated with it. But obviously we're getting up there and there are plenty of generations younger than us that don't have that personal connection to the old timeiness of these things. And what would be the appeal to them? You know what I mean? Like why wouldn't you just Buy it online or.

[Anya]

Well, the walking around, the smell of the Auntie Anne's.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you don't have to tell me that, but are they leaving? Listening. Do they know it's Christmas?

[Anya]

What a great question, Andrew.

[Luke Burbank]

It really is. Thanks for. Great question. Thanks for asking.

[Anya]

Thanks for coming. I understand.

[D]

Here I go once again with the email.

[Luke Burbank]

Every week I hope that it's from a female. Oh man, it's not from a female.

[Anya]

All right, emails or vmails. Before we officially slide into super wildcard weekend.

[Luke Burbank]

You mind if I slip into something more wild? Let me play this voicemail from listener Anya for you, Luke. But I'm going to ask you maybe to set this up a tiny bit. I think Anya does a pretty good job with it. But this is in reference to a somewhat, let's say quirky person sort of in your broader neighborhood who's like a conservative person who has a small Statue of Liberty.

[Anya]

Quirky is generous.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, right. And has like, you can see it from the highway. And has a bunch of like conservative signs saying take my guns from my cold dead hands type of vibes. Right?

[Anya]

Yeah, it's a lot of like I think kind of homemade. I say homemade signs because I don't think that they sell these in the store. But like you went to like a, you know, like a quick signs or something. You went and you had these made and they're like it's anti Nancy Pelosi stuff. It's. It's just, it's like one it says like political correctness is. And then it's just got a picture of like a cat cow pooping because. Trying to say it's bullshit. It's. It's just they're weird. They're. They're all kind of like. You can understand why these, how these never took off as I as signs because they're not catchy. One is like a picture of Biden and Pelosi saying like is this something we're proud of? I think is one of them anyway, a bunch of stuff like that. But then also this kind of like you know, maybe 15 foot tall statue of Liberty that is, you know, installed in this kind of. This looks like a, like it's a commercial almost like a commercial space where maybe somebody's, you know, running some kind of a. I don't know what kind of company. But like anyway, that Statue of Liberty. The irony of it of course is my guess would be this person has a pretty anti immigration leanings. And in fact the Statue of Liberty, if you read the inscription on the base. It is a very welcoming thing. It's saying, you know, bring me your. Your huddled masses yearning to be free. And that irony was not. Is not lost on me almost every day when I drive past the Statue of Liberty.

[Luke Burbank]

And this gets to Anya's point as well. You had ment some other hypocrisy tied to this individual as well, because you had heard stories from other people who sort of live in your general area, like kind of trading stories about like some real shady, like, kind of like tool theft related stuff.

[Anya]

I mean, that's very much in the category of hearsay.

[Luke Burbank]

I just want to be clearly very clear about that.

[Anya]

Yes, well, but I. Yeah, just, I'm not. I did not hear the best reports about the possible morality of the person who may or may not be responsible for the Statue of Liberty, but is.

[Luke Burbank]

Screaming about other people's morality. So anyway, Anya turns out, grew up in this part of the country very specifically and has some personal tales to tell.

[Anya]

Shout out to the Rose Valley.

[D]

Hey, Luke and Andrew. I have a little story about the guy who owns that property with the Statue of Liberty next to i5. My name is Anya and I actually grew up in that Carol's area. So I realized pretty quickly when Luke started describing where houses and stuff, that he was essentially moving into the neighborhood that I grew up in. And my direct next door neighbor growing up is the guy who owns that property along i5 with the statue of Liberty and all the weird Christian signs. And he is a hypocrite. And I have maybe 8 less illegal or salacious story about him being a hypocrite in the way he treated me and my sister and our animals. So growing up, we had a couple of dogs, a golden retriever and a lab. And they were very friendly dogs. And this was a rural area. So we would let our dogs out and they would just like run around in the afternoon after school and then come back and they wouldn't go very far. But occasionally they'd chase like a rack rabbit over off of our property onto our neighbor's property. And he would get really upset about this and, you know, would come out and yell at us for having. For letting the dogs, you know, dare to pass from our field over into his field. Yeah, you know, that's not like, great. We shouldn't be allowing our dogs to trespass. But one year he raised a turkey and this thing got huge, absolutely enormous. And it would always get out of its pen. And that thing was mean. So it would chase me and my sister and it Would chase my dogs on our own property. It would get out and chase us around. That thing was mean. And I don't know. That just always really ignored. Annoyed me that he was always so upset that our dogs, who are friendly to people, he would get all upset about if they, you know, ran over onto his property and then came back when we called them, but his freaking turkey would get out and would, like, try to attack us anyways. Just that you might think I was funny. I don't know. This guy is so weird. I love hearing all about Luke's stories and stuff about renovating his house and just kind of the area that's my own home. Stomping ground. Yeah. Well, that's it. Talk to you guys later.

[Luke Burbank]

Thanks.

[Anya]

It's almost like, Andrew, it's almost like this guy would have wished that the government would have intervened in some way to tell Anya's family to keep their animals on their property. It's almost like he believes in some sort of a regulation that would. That would stop their dogs from entering his private property.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe he should have built a wall and had Anya pay for it. I don't know, man. I don't know. All right. But anyway, thanks for.

[Anya]

Yeah, it's almost like a lot of these folks that are the most sort of outwardly demonstrative about these concepts of personal liberty and freedom and personal responsibility, et cetera, it's almost like they don't live up to that in their own life. That would seem an emergent theme. I was in a lift a while ago and the guy driving the Lyft said just the magic words that you just know. Know this was post election. Just the magic words that you know exactly what it actually means. And it was said something to the effect of, well, I just don't like to get into politics. And I was like, yep, I 100% know that you are somebody who voted for Trump. Like, I don't like to get into politics means I don't. You know, that means you voted for Trump. And then, of course, amidst, like, throughout the conversation, what became very clear was 100% voted for. For Trump. 100%, like, thinks that, you know, Kamala Harris was some sort of secret age, etc. Like, every bad take you can have, but it started with like, I don't really trust any of them, you know, kind of a thing. You don't trust any of them. Well, then I know exactly what you did.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I know exactly who you do trust then. Exactly. The most untrustworthy people on the Big.

[Anya]

Elon Musk fan, as you might imagine, like, every. Just every bad take you can have. But it started with the, like. I. Yeah, I just don't really. I don't, you know, like, they're all lumped together as I don't. I don't. I don't really have any strong feelings one way or the other on any of them. I was like, yeah, well, I know you do. And. And it turned out to be exactly what I suspect.

[Luke Burbank]

Real question, do you tip in a scenario like that?

[Anya]

No.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely. I wouldn't either. Yeah.

[Anya]

Sorry.

[Luke Burbank]

Because first of all, I know you well enough to know that you are not getting in. You're. You're not going to be rude. We've talked about this before. You have concerns about maybe just like, if you're minding your own business too much in the back of a ride share situation and the person wants to be chatty. I know that you feel like a little bit of a social obligation, I think, to maybe not be rude. But ideally you would say, hello. It would be like, friendly and not cold. But also, now let's just go on our own mental journeys for the rest of the ride. Right. You're not looking to make conversation, especially if somebody early on is volunteering. Oh, I don't want to talk about politics. You can usually tell that that person is like, they have the politics is dripp ripping out of them. They want to talk about it so much, they're trying to restrain themselves. I don't feel like you were somebody who is, like, leading this conversation or inviting it.

[Anya]

No, I mean, as I've mentioned to various exes, to their delight, I'm a professional conversationalist. That's what I do for my job. I would just as soon become a amateur guy who stares out the window.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Anya]

Of the ride share. Oh, we're not calling it rideshare anymore.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, I know. I just called it a ride share, too. I don't.

[Anya]

I would love nothing more. I mean, honestly, this sounds so snooty, but I'm happy to have a conversation if the person wants to have a conversation. I'm also very, very okay with just kind of zoning out. Like, it feels relaxing and nice to me to just do that. So I am by no means am I trying to prop up or prompt a conversation that the other person is not trying to have. You know what I mean?

[Luke Burbank]

Yep. I know. I'm the same way. I actually, you know what? Like, a lot is. On the occasion that I'm taking a car like that, it probably means that I'M going somewhere where I'm going to be drinking and don't want to have the responsibility of a car to bring home or whatever to drive. And I actually love sitting in the back of. I don't have a better word than rideshare. So I'm going to keep on going with rideshare, although I really do think it's just a masterclass in marketing.

[Anya]

Enviro scrub.

[Luke Burbank]

I love sitting in the back of a Lyft or an Uber Uber by myself. Like, again, friendly. I don't. I don't want to be, like, cold or, you know, like, kind of rude to the person, but, like, get in there and just, like, not even look at my phone. Just be driven around and like, look out the windows. It's just so rare that I'm just sort of. I can just sort of quietly. You mentioned, like, staring out the window. And it's true. Like, I, especially on the way home, like, I don't need to, like, bury my nose in my phone. There's just something I really like about, I think, being driven around in a scenario like that, possibly even after a few beers or maybe possibly especially after a few beers, just like to see the city at night look out the window. It's something very, very calming about that.

[Anya]

I will tell you the one thing that happens to me a fair amount, or has happened to me a fair amount, like in Los Angeles, is I'll get picked up. I'm typically down there for work. I'll get picked up and taken to maybe where we're filming, or maybe it'll be from where we're filming to the airport or something. And a lot of the folks that are driving Uber, in fact, the vast majority that I've lift in LA are people that maybe came to the US from somewhere, somewhere else. And there's different levels of proficiency with English. And sometimes I'll get in the car and the person might be playing, you know, music or listening to something on the stereo that's like, in another language. And, you know, outsider, say hi when I get in the car or whatever. And we'll go this whole epic, like, I've had like hour and a half long rides in the city of Los Angeles from where we were filming to, like, LAX because traffic is so bad. And we won't have. We won't be chatting at all. Because I'll just be figuring, well, maybe it's a bit of a lift, as it were, for this person to converse in English. Maybe they're not, you know, super comfortable or whatever. And I'm like, happy to take it. I'm like, cool. I'll kind of pull an Andrew here and just stare out the window, and then we'll get to the destination and I'll say, well, thank you so much. And they'll say in almost unaccented English, absolutely, yes, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm deeply lonely, and I'm just looking for human connection.

[Anya]

I was looking to make a connection, but you wanted to look at TikTok on your phone between here and Burbank. Thank you. Like, I, Like I want to write it off as like, I'm doing them the favor because I'm not forcing them to. To. To. To speak in a second language that's maybe not familiar to them. And then that's. That little bit of. Of rationalization is right out the window.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, see, like, sometimes I get a. You know, I find myself sometimes in conversations with drivers, and I guess maybe, maybe sometimes I initiate it a little bit. Sometimes I'm just kind of curious about, like, how their night is going, how the. How they. How their job is going, or whatever. I'm not usually peppering with questions, but, like, I'll just sort of get in, usually be quiet, and then maybe if they say one little thing, we can have a conversation. I. That. That happens. But I also feel like we sort of live in the extremes in these situations, because I feel like either I can get in, and it's mostly just some young person listening to whatever they're listening to. They don't want to talk to me, and I'm fine just sitting there quietly in their backseat and looking. Looking out the window like, that' totally fine with me. But then the people who really want to talk are the last people I want to talk to. You know what I mean? It's like the people who really, really want to talk, I'm like, oh, they just want to hear themselves talk. They're just rattling, rattling. You can't get a word in edgewise. They want to tell you they talk at you in this way. And that is what I really don't like.

[Anya]

I mean, it's the classic conundrum of going out to get interviews with folks, you know, whether it's for TV or radio. And it is, in my experience, about 100% the case that the people who really want to talk to you are the last people you want to talk to. And the people who are a little more reticent usually have an interesting story or something like, it's Groucho Marx. I wouldn't want to be part of a club that would have me. I wouldn't want to be part of an interview that is bursting at the seams to be interviewed by me because it's probably a bad side.

[Luke Burbank]

I did not see this. And then we'll wrap up for the day. I'm sorry, I'm not trying to keep you. Did we hit overtime yet? Are we over the river?

[Anya]

No.

[Luke Burbank]

Are we making time and a half yet? No, but I was going to. It's Friday and I just keep on extending this further than it needs to be. But this, I don't know what made me think of this that you just said, but Genevieve said that there was something going around social media yesterday related to the fires in Los Angeles. And again, thinking of everybody down there, it's just so mind boggling. But apparently there was somebody who was being interviewed who was helping people in some area of Los Angeles. Like just a random person on the street. And then at the end the interviewer said, what's your name? He said, my name's Steve Guttenberg. Oh, did you see this Genovese?

[Anya]

I did, I did.

[Luke Burbank]

Steve Guttenberg site.

[Anya]

It was legit. Steve Guttenberg. And I think he might have. I don't know if he lost his home or not. I mean, he lived right in that area that was decimated. So unfortunately the chances seem pretty, pretty high. But he was, I watched some of the interview and he was running around, around, you know, trying to help other people basically. Like he was running around, like trying to, I don't know if it was actually like literally spray water on people's houses or warn people or something. He was just out there as a citizen of Pacific Palisades, I believe it was, or maybe Malibu. And the person interviewing him asked him for his name and he's like, it's Steve Gutenberg or something. Like. So, yeah, I, I did see that clip and yeah, I think, you know, I think he probably was just out there trying to do what he could do to save that area.

[Luke Burbank]

Stars, they're just like us.

[Anya]

But they, they are just like us sometimes unfortunately bad circumstances for him to have to be just like, yes, but yeah, anyway, yeah, seriously thinking about everybody down there in, in Southern California, particularly in those affected neighborhoods. Hope you're doing okay. All right, that is going to do it for this week of tbtl. That really flew by. We are going to be back here on Monday with more imaginary radio for you. Andrew will have a full super wild card weekend report.

[Luke Burbank]

Probably watch like 1/4 of 1.

[Anya]

I'll tell you guys what was going down at the Cheesecake Factory at the. At the Washington Square Mall out there on the outskirts of Portland. It's going to be a. It's going to be a hell of a show. So please do turn you have more intel on people who are my neighbors. It's just going to be an incredible thing on Monday, so don't miss it. In the meantime, though, have a great weekend. Take care of yourselves, stay safe, and please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Luke Burbank]

And good luck to all. Power out.