#4381 Mr. Steal Your Soup

Summary

Podcast Summary: TBTL Episode #4381 - "Mr. Steal Your Soup"

Podcast Information:

• Title: TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live
• Host/Author: Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh
• Description: TBTL is a daily show hosted by two longtime friends goofing their way through the world the best they can.
• Episode: #4381 Mr. Steal Your Soup
• Release Date: January 15, 2025

---

Introduction and Opening Banter (00:00 - 01:45)

The episode kicks off with playful banter between Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh, setting a humorous tone. Luke humorously challenges Andrew to a duel, emphasizing their lighthearted chemistry.

Notable Quote:

• Luke Burbank [00:00]: "I am challenging you, sir, to a duel."
• Andrew Walsh [00:24]: "Are you serious?"

---

Luke’s Battle with Alaska Airlines (01:45 - 24:05)

Luke delves into his ongoing struggle with Alaska Airlines, primarily focusing on his quest to achieve 100,000 miles to secure elite status. He outlines the different status tiers, starting from Gold 75K to the coveted 100K level, and the perks associated with each.

Key Points:

• Status Tiers: Explains the benefits of Gold 75K and the introduction of 100K status, including free baggage, seat selection, potential first-class upgrades, and lounge access.
• Challenges: Discusses the difficulty in accumulating miles, especially the decision to buy miles versus earning them through flights.
• Carbon Offsets: Critiques the airline’s carbon offset program, questioning its effectiveness and authenticity.

Notable Quotes:

• Luke Burbank [02:25]: "I'm at like 90. I'm going to be at like 92,000 miles. I'm going to need a cool 8 miles."
• Andrew Walsh [05:15]: "If you are somebody who is... Has any reason to travel at all, if you can possibly make it happen, try to only fly on the same airline."

---

Airline Lounge Experience and “Mr. Steal Your Soup” (24:05 - 36:07)

The conversation shifts to Luke’s experiences attempting to gain lounge access through his elite status. He humorously narrates his attempts to leverage his 100K status to enjoy the airline lounge amenities, particularly focusing on the complimentary soup offered there.

Key Points:

• Lounge Access: Details the process of trying to secure lounge access, including interactions with customer service representatives.
• Soup Incident: Coining the episode title, Luke describes his humorous endeavor to "steal the soup" from the lounge when he wasn’t granted full access.
• Customer Service Frustrations: Highlights the challenges and miscommunications with airline staff, leading to his playful frustration.

Notable Quotes:

• Luke Burbank [18:15]: "Mr. Steal your soup is here now."
• Andrew Walsh [23:13]: "But the biggest one is not unlimited access to the lounge, which I really..."

---

Tangential Discussions: Social Media and Email Signatures (36:07 - 40:49)

Luke and Andrew shift gears to discuss their social media presence, specifically their activities on platforms like Blue Sky and Mastodon. They delve into the nuances of crafting effective email signatures and social media bios, highlighting the challenges of maintaining a professional yet personable online image.

Key Points:

• Email Signatures: Debate the extent to which email signatures should convey professional achievements versus keeping it simple.
• Social Media Bios: Share thoughts on how bios can sometimes overcomplicate personal branding, leading to confusion or misrepresentation.

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Walsh [38:22]: "Signatures are doing too much."
• Luke Burbank [38:45]: "It's actually less an email signature. Although I have seen those, certainly. You know, what it really can be sometimes is like Blue sky bio or before that, Twitter bio..."

---

Entertainment Segment: Anchorman Inspiration (40:49 - 45:18)

The hosts engage in a lively discussion about the inspiration behind the character Ron Burgundy from the movie Anchorman. They explore whether the character was based on Bill Curtis or Mort Crim, referencing interviews and articles to debate the true inspiration.

Key Points:

• Bill Curtis vs. Mort Crim: Examination of both news anchors' careers to determine who better fits the archetype of Ron Burgundy.
• Cultural Impact: Discuss the impact of real-life personalities on fictional characters in media.

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Walsh [44:11]: "I think it's like a composite anyway."
• Luke Burbank [45:18]: "And of course, because you rarely cross reference these things, it's totally believable."

---

Donors and Special Guests (47:24 - 49:00)

Luke takes a moment to thank the show's donors, highlighting their importance in supporting the podcast. He mentions specific contributors like Sarah Hogan from Denver, Colorado, and shares anecdotes about interactions with local news anchors, emphasizing the community aspect of the show.

Key Points:

• Donor Appreciation: Recognizes and thanks listeners who financially support the show.
• Guest Interactions: Shares experiences with guests like Kyle Clark, a Denver news anchor, and their impact on the podcast's presence.

Notable Quotes:

• Luke Burbank [47:24]: "These are the incredible, wonderful, generous people who are supporting TBTL with a donation of their dough."
• Andrew Walsh [49:00]: "But I refuse to know what they are saying now."

---

Sports and Documentaries Discussion (49:00 - 59:00)

The conversation transitions into a discussion about sports documentaries, particularly focusing on the Hard Knocks series, which examines NFL teams’ preparations for the season. They critique the reality TV aspects, debating authenticity versus entertainment value.

Additionally, they discuss a Martha Stewart documentary, exploring themes of justice, media portrayal, and personal accountability. The hosts reflect on how documentaries shape public perception and the balance between storytelling and factual representation.

Key Points:

• Hard Knocks Critique: Analyzes the blend of reality TV and genuine sports insights, expressing skepticism about the authenticity of on-camera personalities.
• Martha Stewart Documentary: Delves into Martha Stewart’s legal troubles, the portrayal by media, and the broader implications of high-profile court cases on individual reputations.
• Gender Dynamics in the Workplace: Touches upon issues of workplace behavior, especially regarding gender biases in professional settings.

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Walsh [55:04]: "No one being rude to their subordinates."
• Luke Burbank [58:12]: "And he says, you know, I know that I'm just kind of a nobody, but would you want to trade jerseys after the game?"

---

Conclusion and Closing Remarks

The episode continues beyond the provided transcript, but based on the available content, Luke and Andrew wrap up their discussions by reinforcing their camaraderie and teasing upcoming topics. They maintain the episode’s humorous and conversational tone, leaving listeners anticipating future episodes.

---

Overall Insights and Themes:

• Consumer Frustration: Luke’s experiences highlight common frustrations with airline loyalty programs and customer service.
• Authenticity vs. Entertainment: The hosts frequently explore the tension between genuine experiences and their portrayal in media and reality TV.
• Social Commentary: Through their discussions, they provide subtle critiques of corporate policies, media representations, and societal norms.
• Humor and Relatability: Despite tackling various topics, the episode maintains a lighthearted and humorous approach, making complex issues more relatable to listeners.

Useful For: Listeners who enjoy a mix of personal anecdotes, humorous banter, and insightful commentary on everyday issues and pop culture phenomena will find this episode engaging and entertaining.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

Well, well, well, well, well. If it isn't the big time hotshot lawyer man. Oh, my God. I do not have time for you. Yes, sir. We both have busy schedules, so I'll make this quick. Shat, mince words with you for long. I am challenging you, sir, to a duel. I accept.

[Andrew Walsh]

Are you serious?

[Luke Burbank]

Now? I accept your challenge. Do you want time to think it over? No, no, no. Not at all. What time were you thinking of dueling? Anytime is good. Really, I don't have. You don't have time?

[Andrew Walsh]

Cause you would have to go out.

[Luke Burbank]

And get a proper gun. No, I have a gun. I actually keep one right here in the drawer. You got one right there. I don't even see it. I like to keep it loaded because you never know who's gonna walk into a law office these days. Safety first. So let's rethink some things.

[Andrew Walsh]

TBTL.

[Luke Burbank]

Good afternoon, and welcome to Judgment City. You just had quite a little journey.

[Andrew Walsh]

So for now, relax and enjoy the ride. I swear, every time this guy talks, all I hear is a turkey goblin.

[Luke Burbank]

You look like Matlock. No, I look like a young Paul Newman dressed as Matlock. It's not great. It's fantastic. You totally undersold it. The pageantry, the costumes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wow.

[Luke Burbank]

That is obviously what. It's clear that our view is. We don't support that view. It stinks. All right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Wednesday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

[Andrew Walsh]

This song goes out to all the.

[Luke Burbank]

Coffee lovers of the world. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host, coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio where we got both of the heaters running. But it is cold in here. I'm trying to keep my hands in operation here so I can play these little audio drops. It's like a fridge freeze your fridge freeziator in here. And it's also super foggy everywhere. Cloud, fog. Like we're just socked in by the fuck. I like saying socked in. It feels like that's some kind of a nautical term. Maybe. Anyway, here we are. It's episode 4381 in a collector series.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let the fun begin.

[Luke Burbank]

I was in San Diego yesterday. Very different weather situation down there, I'm not going to lie to you. And of course, had to fly back on my beloved Alaska Airlines back up here to the Madrona Hill studio. And it's really hard when an institution, a company that I've loved so deeply, is doing me so dirty right now. I'm talking about my pitched battle with my favorite airline. I'm as mad as hell and I'm.

[Andrew Walsh]

Not going to take this anymore.

[Luke Burbank]

Also, I've been trying to get to this story for the last two days about a guy who has been like sort of a professional Bob Dylan criticizer.

[Andrew Walsh]

So explain that.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, there's this dude who's probably about Bob Dylan's age and for a significant portion of his life and career, which is encompasses the same amount of time of Bob Dylan's life and career. They've been in this bizarre sort of enemies. But it's almost, I know, it's like what was that movie, that Best of Enemies that was about like Gore Vidal and William F. Buckley. They're sort of best of enemies. They seem to be on each other's nerves all the time, but also have a familiarity. Anyway, we'll talk about this and we'll play you some tape of these two guys talking on the phone from back in the like 1960s or something. Also, we're going to talk to this guy. Longest running cobra of the show. Please welcome the wickedly talented. He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning, Luke. I was a little distracted during your intro. I don't know if you saw this, we don't have time to get into it here at the top of the show, but maybe later on or maybe even tomorrow, got a very long email from a listener about some sky jinx that her husband was directly involved with. And I got to be honest with you, it's a very, very long story, all in text. And when I see a very long email like this, I'm like, this is probably a good story, but maybe a little bit too long for tbtl. But I was on the edge of my seat during your intro reading this thing. In fact, the audio levels are all jacked up at the beginning of the show. I got to fix that later because I was so sucked into these skyjinks. So more on that maybe later today or later in the week.

[Luke Burbank]

I, I mentioned this the other day just in passing at the top of the show. I said something like, you know, Alaska Airlines is on my list or whatever. And then our, our friend Lynn, long, long time supporter of and contributor to the show, was on the ascendant social media platform Blue sky yesterday. He was cutting and pasting or he was maybe reposting something. Said, is this what you're mad at Alaska Airlines about? And I was, I said yes, but for more selfish reasons, per usual. And Then a listener said something like, I'm shocked. And then I was like, really? Okay, you're going a little hard. Okay. I get to make the jokes about how I'm selfish. Nobody else does. That's how this works.

[Andrew Walsh]

Trying to figure out because. Okay. Can I tell you my emotional journey with the story that, I don't know, you mentioned? I think the first time you introduced it on the show, maybe in Monday's intro, you said that, like, you're mad at the airline, but then you said, but it also, like, sort of. Well, Luke, I believe. I believe you said it underscores your unrelatability because you love using that word. I believe it emphasizes that. And then I. You said, if you thought I was unrelatable before, would you hear this story then, like, ooh, I don't know. I don't know if we want to hear this story. And so right now, where I am is. I can't tell where the kayfabe is. I know that Alaska. You truly love Alaska Airlines. I truly love them. I also know that you have a financial relationship with them.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't anymore, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, you don't? Oh, okay. So everything.

[Luke Burbank]

It's after 9pm Andrew. We can say whatever we want.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's why I was like, okay, so. Whoa. What. What happened? What just happened?

[Luke Burbank]

I don't want to ruin your day, Andrew. I don't want to make anyone have the worst day of their life at their job. Do you have any idea what I'm doing here?

[Andrew Walsh]

No. Okay. I wondered why that just came out of your mouth. Okay, you're doing something that I am not doing.

[Luke Burbank]

Tim Robinson on a ghost tour.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, the ghost tour.

[Luke Burbank]

And the guy says, this is the last tour, so we can. Things can get a little racy. We can say whatever we want, and Tim Robinson becomes obsessed.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sure, I am familiar with that sketch, but when that just flew out of your mouth a second ago, which I am beeping, I was shocked. But all of this is to say when you mentioned that this. That this conversation got moved to social media, where companies and people can be tagged in things, I got a little bit nervous because I wasn't sure if you were being outed speaking. But again, the hand doesn't feed you anymore, so bite away.

[Luke Burbank]

I suppose the hand hasn't fed me for a long time, other than just, I do genuinely like the product, and I. You know, I've got friends that work there, and. Well, we've got friends that work there for Captain Will. I mean, you know, so it's like, I'M not trying to. I'm not trying to be overly critical of a Northwest treasure, but I will tell you that I'm also trying to see if I can find this message that Lynn sent to me because I. Some of the specifics were kind of lost on me, but here's. I'll just try to break it down. This is the unrelatable piece of it. Andrew. I was very obsessed with getting to a certain level of airline status with this airline this year.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

It used to be that the, the, the highest level of. Of airline status was called Gold 75K. And that meant you had to fly 75,000 miles in a year to get to. To get that status. And what that just generally means is a lot of little perks, like, you know, you don't have to pay for your bags and you can pick your seat in coach. Usually be in one of the better parts of coach. And it means that on certain flights, you might get bumped up to first class. Then they rolled out something called 100k, which I know you're not supposed to do math on the radio, but that's 25k more than 75.

[Andrew Walsh]

Slow down, Einstein.

[Luke Burbank]

And suddenly e equals 100k squared. So then all of a sudden, now there's this. Now there's a group of folks that are actually in front of me in the line. And for all. Not for all of those things, but for the getting to be in first class part, which. Well, I'll. I want to preface all this by saying there. I know this is unrelatable because it's like, you know, you know, flying in first class is a. Is a lucky thing when it ever happens to anyone. And the idea that I'm. Part of my anger would be related to something about first class or whatever, which actually, it's. Weirdly, it's not. I mean, this all sounds very, very kind of unrelatable, except if you are flying constantly, thus, like, getting to, you know, get your luggage onto the airplane overhead because you got to get on the plane first, let's say, or not having to wait in certain lines, it actually really does accrete to a different kind of experience over the course of a year. So that's my defense of why I even care about this stuff.

[Andrew Walsh]

Did you say accrete?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, it solidifies into something.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't. I don't know that word. Add it to the list of words for 2025 that we'll be reviewing 12 months from now.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe it's all these little experiences that harden into a Big block of experience. That is a better experience. So at least that's what I think. Let's look it up.

[Andrew Walsh]

Does it start with an E, do you think? I was actually wondering if there was any wordle implications here. Is it a 5?

[Luke Burbank]

It's an A word. It's an A. It's a crete. It's a crete. To grow by accumulations or coalescence.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, interesting. Okay. Yeah, I was totally unfamiliar with that word and it looks like it's six letters. So it does me no good in a wordle. So I'm going to forget it. No point, no point saving that in there.

[Luke Burbank]

There's absolutely no utility to you using any brain, any of your storage space for. So anyway, all that is to say I know that that's the reason that I'm saying this is unrelatable is because everything that I'm talking about is. Is bougie ness at a certain level or being very cosseted or whatever. But it's just like cosseted. That's the kind of.

[Andrew Walsh]

Go ahead. Sorry.

[Luke Burbank]

Carefully cosseted. I think. Let's just keep doing it. This is good for me actually, because I use. I think cosseted is to be carefully handled. To be cosseted, cared for and protected in an overindulgent way.

[Andrew Walsh]

Two for two, my friend.

[Luke Burbank]

I better quit. Quit while I'm ahead. I'm. I'm batting a th. But that is not going to L. I. That's like, that's like somebody gets. Somebody goes, you know, three for four in their first game of the season. And then they're, they're batting, you know,750 or something. They're leading the, the. They're leading the, the batting race for the Whatever. Okay, so all that is to say I, I know that. That a lot of this is just like really. I mean first world problem doesn't begin to describe it, but basically once there was this thing that was the 100,000 mile people. It's like our friend broadcast Barry is. Although he cheated by marrying a man from Australia. I think that's. I think that's cheating. I think that's dirty pool Barry because he now and buying a house in Hawaii because there will always be an.

[Andrew Walsh]

Asterisk next to his name.

[Luke Burbank]

That's all I'm saying. You are the Sammy Sosa of getting to 100k. No, I mean Barry just flies like every time I'm texting with Barry, he's like I'm somewhere over Guam.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

What? But so, so this 100k thing and I actually, I didn't. I didn't make it to that level the last couple of years since they rolled it out. But I asked Barry. I was like, hey, man, what's. Is this worth it? Because this is another 25, 000 miles that you got to go out and, like, just spend time on airplanes or whatever. And he said, well, these are the things that you can get. If you do that one, you will probably, you know, hopefully if there's some empty seats up in first class, you might get moved up there. Also, you get a free membership to the lounge, which is like 500 bucks a year or something, and is the kind of thing that, like, most of the time, you know, I'm not at the airport early enough to. In fact, it wouldn't probably net out for you, Andrew, because you don't fly a ton. A ton. But if you did, you should. You would definitely be a person who should join that lounge because you do get to the airport a couple hours early. You've actually got some time to kill, and it's a very nice place to relax. And they've got soup.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was gonna say. And they have soup. Oh, dude. Soup.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, man, I'm not kidding you.

[Andrew Walsh]

I go.

[Luke Burbank]

I go. I go hard in the paint on that soup when I do use the lounge.

[Andrew Walsh]

Why do you think the lounges are so soup centric of all? Like, kind of. Because you would think, okay, yeah, grazing, you know, kind of an hors d'oeuvre situation. Soup does not usually fit into, like, a grazing situation. Yet my experience, in my very, very limited experience, which I think are always been with you in these lounges, is soup is really the main feature. The soup is the gem of the experience, which is there are not a lot of pho restaurants, and lounges are the only places that super center stage.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a really good point. And super crackers that never. That never left the dream state.

[Andrew Walsh]

If I remember, I opened my own franchise.

[Luke Burbank]

But that's a great question. I wonder if some of it is. Because it's just. It's cozy. And also you can put it out and you can leave it as long as you have it on a low heat, you can kind of set it and forget it and then just keep refilling it and it gives people something to do. And. But I. I'll tell you some of the only time that I'll eat soup outside of the home is if I happen to be in one of those Alaska Airlines lounges. So anyway, that's like. I think that's like 500 bucks a year or something. That's a significant cost. And then also this. I think I actually said this to you on the show, but like the other or you could. And I actually didn't realize this was an either or. I thought this was all part of the. All part of the swag bag of making it to this thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Was you could bestow not the status that you have of 100k, but you could bestow MVP gold upon one person. You know, you get the golden ticket.

[Andrew Walsh]

And MVP gold is below the 75. Whatever.

[Luke Burbank]

But it's just better. It's like you don't have to pay for your bags. You can pick your seat, which is a pretty big improvement. I mean, my advice in all this, even though I'm kind of grumping about this airline, is if you are somebody who is. Has any reason to travel at all, if you can possibly make it happen, try to only fly on the same airline. Like, because you might save a little bit of money here and there by by jumping on a different carrier because it's a little cheaper. But like, the big. The big difference for the people that have a. For the people who are having a less horrible travel experience, it's usually because they're only flying on the same airline and they have a little bit of status such that they can again, like, pick their seat before the flight or something. Okay, so. So we're getting to the end of the year, getting to the end of 2024, and I realize that I am at like 90. I'm going to be at like 92,000 miles. I'm going to need a cool 8 miles. 8,000 miles to get to this little number that I've now decided is the goal.

[Andrew Walsh]

What if it's just eight, let's say taxi around a little bit. Can you stay tax.

[Luke Burbank]

Can I just ride on the wing, sir, for a moment?

[Andrew Walsh]

Can you just take me.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, Will, can you hook it up.

[Andrew Walsh]

From Sea Tac up to, let's just say the U District? Okay, go ahead.

[Luke Burbank]

Right. Can I take it over to a different part of Tukwila?

[Andrew Walsh]

Right, exactly. So, like, I'm thinking, like, maybe we stop off at Lovers very briefly. We get the Denny's, and then we're back.

[Luke Burbank]

Perfect.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

So anyway, so I'm. I'm like. Okay, I'm pretty close to this silly thing, so I might as well go ahead and just. I was going to, like, book a flight somewhere like I did two years ago that was to get to the 75k. Like, I'm going to book a flight to Germany or something or whatever. Or you know what I'll do. Becca and I will go to, like, Miami because that's a really far flight. And if we go there and back, it'll get me to 8,000 miles because of certain. It's not literally 4,000 miles away, but because of how the. How they basically calculate the miles, it would have gotten me there. And in fact, I booked these tickets. I booked us a roundtrip trip to Miami before New Year's because it has to be in calendar year 2024. And I had booked this whole thing and I called in and I was talking to somebody about it. I was asking something about the mileage, and the woman on the phone who was very nice, said, oh, you know what? Actually, if you're only doing this flight pretty much to get to this number of miles, you know, you can just buy the miles. And there are some special category. It's called like, E. It's. I always want to say eqc, but it's not. It's like ECH or something. They're like, is. You can just buy these miles and it will be cheaper than the plane tickets. But it. And then you don't have to actually sit on the airplane. And they also have this other thing, which are these carbon offset things where you can. If you're trying to get. Now, I don't think that's exactly what I did, believe it or not. I think I did it through this other program. But one of the other things they offer is if you are trying to get to a certain mileage number and you don't want to actually sit on the airplane, you can just buy it. And it's. It's. The Alaska Airlines promotes it as a carbon offset, which is. Does not stand up to any kind of scrutiny as a concept like this idea that you bought a seat on a plane but then you didn't go on the plane. I mean, you're not really buying a seat. But the idea that you gave Alaska Airlines money and they gave you miles, but then you didn't fly, so somehow the environment wins is a really, really thin premise.

[Andrew Walsh]

They didn't ground the plane.

[Luke Burbank]

That's what I'm saying. The plane is still going wherever it was going to go. No planes were grounded in the creation of this film. I'm sorry. Like, so. But whatever. If we want to. If we're trying, we're talking about it some. At least if we're talking about it, something's happening. So this was the this was the, the blue sky that Lynn shared with me. Somebody was basically talking about how this carbon offset thing is kind of is pretty sus.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

But this is where this relates to me and my selfishness, which is I go ahead and I, I pay the money, I cancel the trip. I. Which was a hassle because some of the tickets were non refundable. So now I have all this like credit like with all this money in this Alaska account that I don't really want or need because, because most of my travel is paid for by work. But it's because I couldn't get my money back on the Miami trip, all of it. And I go ahead and I buy the last 8,000 miles and I get, I'm a hundred thousand mile boy and I'm all excited. And on Sunday when I'm on my way to fly to San Diego, I go into the lounge and you know me, Andrew, there's nothing I like more than strolling into somewhere thinking I'm king of the castle. I'm like, all right everybody. Everybody just calm down. Yes, I'm here.

[Andrew Walsh]

Where's the soup, Mr. What?

[Luke Burbank]

Clear a path to the soup.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, Mr. Steal your soup is here now that.

[Luke Burbank]

Is the show title. I am like, I mean, and this is the thing, Andrew. I had 10 minutes before my flight was boarding. I didn't have enough time. Like, because you can, if you go to this lounge, you can just pay money, straight up pay. I don't know, it's like 40 or 50 bucks to like hang out in there or if you have guest passes. Like I, they give me a certain number of these guest passes every year, but they're, you know, you only get so many of them. You can use them. But in my mind it's like to use that on something less than like a two hour layover is such a waste. I need to be able to absolutely drain their soup supplies.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now that's interesting. It is limited. It is. You have to think about the. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Limits if you're not, like if you don't have the membership. If you have the membership, it doesn't matter. You go in there for 30 seconds because it's, you know, you code as much as you want. I haven't had the membership for the last few years because I've been too cheap to pay for it. So I am going in there and the people are so nice. The person at the front is. I'm like, yeah, I'm 100k. And so how do I sign up for the. How do I, you know, Am I, am I on the list now or something? And she's like looking, oh, I don't see you. She goes, sometimes you have to call them and select it or something. And I'm, I'm, I'm being nice to this person. I really am, but I'm inside, I'm being like, oh, you poor fool. You have no idea who you're talking to. You have no idea the level of importance of a person who has flown 92,000 miles and then purchased 8,000 miles of EQC points or whatever. And I'm like, well, how about this? And then she brings over her supervisor and they're looking and they can't find it. And again, I'm being totally honest. I was totally nice. I was not chippy. I was like, it was all fine. And they're like, well, do you want to use one of your guest passes? I was like, I've only got like 10 minutes. That would be kind of a waste. I want to save those for if I'm ever traveling with pores like Andrew. I want to be able to share this. Literally my thought. I was like, well, if Andrew and I are flying for work, sweet. And we need to go to one of these, I need to have these. Like, I have a. I'm a member. I'm not only a. I'm not only the client, I'm also the owner, whatever the hell. So this is, this is the part that in retrospect is really funny, Andrew. I'm just operating with the confidence of a guy who knows he's holding the best pair of cards, you know, like I'm holding the nuts, as they say. But I'm just humoring everyone by, by pretending to think about my bet, even though I know, like, I'm like, I'm 100k, baby. Like, I own this place. And so I go, well, how about this? I really said this. I go, how about this, guys? How about I just sneak over there and I grab a Coke Zero and I'm out of your hair? And they both laughing like, of course.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right.

[Luke Burbank]

And I go, and I go, and I get my Coke Zero and I like, get my bag. And they're like, well, thanks for being 100k. They're being so, like, so nice to me. I was going to say solicitous, but I'm kind of medium on that word.

[Andrew Walsh]

Where we want.

[Luke Burbank]

I think I might. Yeah, I'm like the Seahawks on the two yard line next year. I mean, kicking a 60 yard field goal anyway, so I get, you know, I'm on my way. And then, like, I think, like, I was in San Diego and I decided, okay, I'm going to take a minute, I'm going to call Ask Airlines. I'm going to tell them that, yes, I will take possession now of my. Of my benefits. And I call them and I get a person, you know, nice enough, but not. Not overly solicitous, but. But pretty nice, who is like, oh, were these organic miles? And I go, organic miles? And she's like, yeah. Did you fly all 100,000 miles? I was like, well, no, I. I flew 92,000 miles. And then I. Which is also, I think, not actually true. More on that in a moment because I think I'm getting these miles on my credit card, right. I have one of those Alaska credit cards. And I think that feeds into my overall tally. So the term organic is itself, I think, very, very questionable.

[Andrew Walsh]

So that. That number 92. Well, you said, we'll get into it more in a minute, but it could have been like you bought something from Ikea and that added some miles, and you probably didn't even fly those full 92.

[Luke Burbank]

I believe that's. Yes, I think that's part of it. Um, according to Barry, too, because he. And I. Listen, he was the first person I called.

[Andrew Walsh]

He should be on this call right now. He should be here. I should be gone.

[Luke Burbank]

Honestly. Live from Manhattan, Kansas.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

So I'm like. She goes, what were they, organic miles? And I go, well, no, I mean, I flew 92,000 of them, which is what I thought at the time, and I bought 8,000. And she goes, yeah, these. These extra benefits only apply to an organic 100,000 miles. And I was like, organic? And I was like, do you have a supervisor? And then she puts me on the phone with her supervisor and I'm like, so hold on.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, maybe you. Maybe you'll get to this. But just so you know what my question is now, whether you want to answer, Answer it now. Or if it's coming up, is then what are the benefits of buying these extra 8,000 miles or whatever it was? It just knocks you the 70k or that, that third tier one.

[Luke Burbank]

What it means is I still will have. If there is a waiting list of people to be upgraded into first class, I would be above somebody who has, let's say, 75,000.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, so that applies. Status as far as upgrade.

[Luke Burbank]

The upgrade thing applies. Oh, I got free food on the fly. I was not in first class flying home, but they gave me like a tapas box for Free.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, so little things like that, but not. But the big one is not unlimited access to the lounge, which I really.

[Luke Burbank]

Was calculating because, like, the amount that I had to pay for the extra miles was, you know, was. Was not nothing. And I was like, well, but it's minus $500 because you're getting this free lounge thing. I'm like, you know, I'm going to make. I'm going to make Becca MVP gold. And then she's really going to finally love me. Like, I was like, this is. You know, I'm. I. I had a whole thing going in my mind. And again, I was wrong about that because you basically get to pick. There's this list of these, like, weird, crazy benefits that you can pick. Either free lounge, bestow MVP gold upon someone, free WI fi for the year. And there's one other one that's, like, just, like, no direct eye contact from.

[Andrew Walsh]

The staff, I think.

[Luke Burbank]

So. Okay, so I am now I get transferred to Heidi, the supervisor. And I already know this is not going to go well because it's not her fault. She was trying to be helpful. But the person who I initially talked to puts me on hold and then says after a pretty long time says, thank you. Sorry for the long hold. I've explained to Heidi what's going on. Here's Heidi. And I was like, already, like, no, no, no, no. I don't want you explaining to Heidi what's going on. I need to be the tip of that spear. I need to be the first person because I have a whole tone of voice I'm using here. I have a whole way. There's. This is a. Listen, this. This is a whole system. And it can't be messed up by you explaining to Heidi. This guy's mad because he bought 8,000 miles. He's not getting his free stuff. That is not the narrative we're pitching here. This starts months ago with a boy named Luke who had a dream of being 100k.

[Andrew Walsh]

Once in 1990, in Astoria, a young man and his Koosh ball had a dream.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you. They had driven to Astoria in a very, very problematic Ford Econoline van. They had to stop often to refill it with water because it was overheating.

[Andrew Walsh]

There were no seatbelts for the seat. They might have dragged a piano back home. Home, hard to see.

[Luke Burbank]

And that boy holding that Koosh ball that he had recently caught off of the Astoria Column, he said, someday I will. I will fly. And I won't just. I won't just fly. I'll fly. At the very front of the plane. So anyway, I re, I, I, I, I'm, I'm undeterred by the fact that this first person has already completely salted my game by telling my story, but in a non, like a non professional way. I'm a professional storyteller. So I, I decide to still give it my best shot with Heidi. I tell her the whole thing and I'm like, hey, you know, I was, I had these tickets booked for Miami. I was like, you can look at my, you know, you can look at my history or whatever. And I talked to somebody. They were very nice. What they explained I didn't actually have to do the flight if I didn't want to. I could just buy the miles. So I did that instead. And, and they didn't mention anything about how, you know, the whole. And so I'm just wondering if you could make a one time exception and just, you know, if I could just get the lounge membership because this was just some miscommunication and I really would have just done the flight, you know, and I get done and they're just like that, you know, that kind of pause where it's like the person is actually not considering that maybe they're just thinking about how to best bring you back to earth. But like, it was like this little pause and I'm thinking, well, maybe I've, you know, broken through to her. And she's like, well, it is, it is on the website when you're buying the Whatever. Eqc. When you're buying the EQC miles, it is on the website. So we cannot offer that to, we cannot offer that to you. I'm sorry, I was just like, oh. I was like, and this is Andrew. This is, I'm not, I'm not proud of this. But I said, okay, Heidi, I understand. I go, I just want to be clear. This is probably the not. This is not the last you've heard of this, which I don't. Where does that come down on the scale of like, Yelp review of a lifetime or you're effing with the wrong mother effer or it's not right as I believe you yelled at. Like, I don't know. How do we feel about that? This isn't the last you've heard of this? Not the last you've heard from me? Like, I didn't want, I didn't want it to seem threatening. I just wanted it to be like this. Listen, I understand why you're. And I never, I didn't get mad. I Didn't raise my voice. I didn't get. I didn't get testy other than to say, I just want to let you know that this is not the end of this story.

[Andrew Walsh]

I feel like. I mean, as the king, you are merely the heir to the throne. As the king of the guy who says awkward things when he's upset or feels wronged, I can totally associate with the words coming out of your mouth and not exactly as you meant them. Having said that, I don't like that phrase because I know what you mean, which is you're going to keep on working on this, but Heidi doesn't have to be involved. You know what I mean? You might be going over Heidi's head. You might be talking to.

[Luke Burbank]

Believe me, but like, Heidi, the right email address.

[Andrew Walsh]

Heidi might have heard the last of this because maybe her shift is. And then. Yeah, you know, like, so the. The thing that's off about that is it sort of puts it. It. It sounds like it puts Heidi in. In the crosshairs a little bit in a way that I don't think any. Anybody you, me or the listeners want.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, no, I definitely didn't want her to feel like I was coming for her specifically. Although, by the way, be better at your job, Heidi. Like, there's a. There's a way to let people down. You know, there's a way to let people down. I think with. And this is the same thing happens in a lot of different professions where if you do it long enough, I think you just keep seeing people on their worst day and it can become very corrosive.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

And I. I can understand that intellectually, and I think it would. The same thing would happen to me probably. But it's like if you're the person whose job it is to tell a lot of people who are having a bad day that their day just got slightly worse, I think that there's. I don't know, I think that there is a. There's a tact that can be brought to that. That was not being brought to this conversation, in my experience.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, interesting. I thought you were saying something else. I thought you were justifying Heidi's detachment by saying when you get better at your job, when you're meeting people on their worst day, maybe at first you. You bring a lot more empathy to the job, but after a while you become somewhat calloused because no matter how much you kind of coddle people, they're still just going to sort of dump their emotions on you. So you might. You might just start to Like I say, kind of build a callus up and just be straightforward with people. Not unlike letting a player go in Moneyball.

[Luke Burbank]

Have you seen the book? Movie or the book?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I guess it's in both, but I'm referring to. It's like there's a couple of iconic scenes in Moneyball where they're teaching. Oh, Lord, I can't.

[Luke Burbank]

Jonah Hill.

[Andrew Walsh]

Jonah Hill's character just to be completely detached. Like, you don't. When it's time to trade somebody or say you're not taking the field today because we're shipping you off to. To St. Louis, to Seattle, because you're.

[Luke Burbank]

42 and you had a. You had one good season in the Venezuelan League when you were 31, when you may have been using PEDs.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. So anyway, I could. I think what. I was defending that as sort of.

[Luke Burbank]

I wasn't.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was saying too.

[Luke Burbank]

I was saying that it's. It's a hazard of a lot of jobs, but the people that are really good at their jobs manage to avoid it. They manage to somehow maintain their humanity. And when they're letting people down, they do it in a way that the people still feel kind of seen and heard. This didn't feel like that to me. Okay, so this is so. So my annoyance is really just kind of. Is kind of petty and whatever. I wanted to get to go to this lounge for free and I didn't read the fine print. Okay, that's my annoyance. But then this carbon offset thing, this is what Barry brought up with me. And I don't want to get Barry put on any no fly list. But sorry, this is. You're absolute. Barry's thing was like, you know, you can buy these. Like these. There's just whatever the sort of special kind of miles are that are the things that. That determine what your status is. Those. You can buy those with the carbon offset, but if they're not considered, quote unquote, organic, then what you are doing is you are really, really lowering to the degree that there was any even slight benefit to the environment, which there wasn't. But let's just say even from just a pure window dressing standpoint, to the degree that these carbon. Like you use carbon offset by your miles and then get your status or whatever, but you actually don't get the benefits. You are really, really like de. Incentivizing or disincentivizing people from even doing this kabuki environmental thing. Like, it should just be the case that if you get to the number, you got to the number. And again, the part about it that's actually really pernicious is this carbon thing. Like again, that's premise on the idea that the carbon thing actually does anything. So maybe my argument is kind of like all over the place. But it's like don't roll out this like bullshit pretend environmental policy and then also make it so that people are not incentivized to use the bullshit environmental policy because they won't get their free lounge access.

[Andrew Walsh]

I honestly think from listening to this story, the most pernicious thing is that you had a plan, right? Based on the words of somebody who represents that company. You changed your plan. Now, I do have one question here. And this doesn't totally let that representative off the. You were ready to make this flight to Miami, which nothing at all suspicious about a flight to Miami and then turning around and just coming right back too. And you're just like, huh? For some reason my suitcase is 100 pounds lighter.

[Luke Burbank]

No, it's heavier when I come back.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wait, no, no. Yeah, that's not right. Why would you fly to Miami?

[Luke Burbank]

You know anything about the drug trade, sir?

[Andrew Walsh]

You know what? I'm going to pack up my suitcase full of drugs in Seattle.

[Luke Burbank]

Andrew, I have lie down to Miami beach for your new business model that you're launching of smuggling cocaine into miam.

[Andrew Walsh]

I will say that Vivian and I quasi recent trip to Mexico. I remember I had some edibles on me somewhere and we were talking, we kept on joking around as we were in line to go through customs in Mexico. I'm just like, we're doing it, veebs. We're the ones who are smuggling drugs into Mexico. Can we make it work? By the way, did I tell you this also while we were waiting in that line like in Mexico, but ready to go through customs where you push the button and you find out if they're gonna do like a random search. And I don't even know what happens if they catch you with some gummies. I assume they take them and you go on your way. But I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

But I saw what eat them in front of you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. And they tell you what colors taste like. We saw the, the telltale sign of an empty gummy wrapper on the ground as we were shuffling through.

[Luke Burbank]

And I was like, hide it in my stomach.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I'm pretty sure there was only one. Well, I think there was only one, but I was like, veeb, somebody got nervous. But anyway, all of that is to say, yeah, I find my question for clarification is you were ready to make this plan to fly to Miami.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

This person said, you know, you can just buy the miles, same difference. Whatever. This person led you astray, did you buy them from that person or did you take that person's advice then go to the website where Heidi is saying all the rules are laid out? Because I guess that could be an argument for Heidi if I'm representing.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely. Listen though, by the letter I did, I had to go to the website. I mean it gets. Andrew, are you ready? It gets more complicated.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh good. I'm glad I led it to here.

[Luke Burbank]

The first. Because the first person who I was talking to who was really nice was like, I think you can buy these miles. And then I kept going to the website and it kept crashing and there was all the things. And then she had to talk to a supervisor. And it turns out you had to be at this, at that moment when I was talking to her. I was not within 10,000 miles of the goal. I was in like let's say 89,000 miles. And you can't even get in. The website won't even let you in there unless you're within 10,000. So I had to literally finish my trip and then get the credit for the miles and then I was, I was within, within shooting distance of it or whatever. But all that is to say I did go to the website. I did. I mean I should have read the fine print. I mean that's where it's on me ultimately. Like I don't think I was, I don't think that, you know, this is, this, this was on me for not reading the fine print. That being said, I just think it's a very weird way to parse this. And also again, back to the sort of. The carbon credit thing is the thing that I think is really BS like you make this thing that you're to kind of greenwash your stuff a little bit but then you, but then you're still so committed to getting that $500 for the lounge membership that you're not going to let those people who are buying these carbon offsets actually get the same kind of perks and benefits because you have, you've decided that that's not organic or something. I just thought that was a really, really.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's a bad look and I'm totally freestyling here. I have no idea if there's any truth in this, but I would not be shocked to know that these so called carbon offsets also tally up in some way that look good in some sort of government filings or well they.

[Luke Burbank]

Look bad in front of the Trump administration. Well, but they're actually going to hide that.

[Andrew Walsh]

They're like, can you roll coal on.

[Luke Burbank]

These, Corey Ten Boom. In the hiding place. Yeah, they're exactly like you roll.

[Andrew Walsh]

Cool.

[Luke Burbank]

We laugh so we don't cry.

[Andrew Walsh]

But yeah, you know what I mean, I'm sure in some sort of filings or certainly in some sort of corporate brag rag or you know what I mean, like presentations, they talk about everything they're doing for the environment.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. And so what I am going to do, by the way, is I am going to write, I'm going to write an email to somebody there, I'm going to send it into the void, I'm going to try to figure out who and I'm going to state my case and I am going to include my auto signature that says I work in the media.

[Andrew Walsh]

Daytime Emmy signature.

[Luke Burbank]

For the record, I took that off. Is, I mean I've already said this about my, I have an auto signature that I actually don't use very much unless I'm trying to indicate to the person that there is some reason that they might want to prioritize a response to me and that it just says like media stuff I tend to do and it just like lists the places that I do stories for or whatever. And I don't use that. I mean, honestly, I just don't know, believe it or not, I don't know how to make it happen automatically on my email. And so the only it's, I have to opt into it. And so generally if I'm emailing with you and John, I don't opt into it. I just like send it my regular email. But sometimes if I'm emailing an airline and I'm hoping that they'll kind of be like, well maybe we don't want to mess with this guy. I will absolutely opt into it. That being said, I do find it, I don't know, whatever, I don't need to get it. I don't need to, I don't need to yuck any yums. There are some autos, there are some auto signatures that doth protest too much that I've seen sometimes. Like for instance, if I had put, if I had Daytime Emmy award winning, you know, broadcaster as my auto signature, I mean that would be pretty brutal. It's brutal enough that I even have one listing my, my, my work jobs, but which is different than my volunteer jobs.

[Andrew Walsh]

My work jobs I don't think I've seen. Maybe because we dance in different circles, but I Don't think I've seen a signature as you describe it. Now, I'm getting close to pushing you into an area that you so clearly just made it. You made it obvious that you don't want to talk about. But I'm trying to think of examples of signatures that seem like they go. Signatures that go too hard. I've heard signatures that go.

[Luke Burbank]

Signatures are doing too much.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right, exactly. So.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you know what it. You know what it really is? It's not even an. It's. It's actually. It's actually less an email signature. Although I have seen those certainly. You know, what it really can be sometimes is like Blue sky bio or before that, Twitter bio, where it's like just like, I don't know. I don't know.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's a little bit more relatable. I know you're talking about everybody gets to live there.

[Luke Burbank]

Everybody should just live their life and do whatever they want, honestly. But it's like sometimes it'll be like, you know, somebody who has fewer followers than me online, which is not very many, by the way. I'm not. I'm not particularly noted social media person, but it'll be a person who's. And then it'll be like, you look at their bio and it'll just be like, who's. Who reps them for speaking inquiries, this person for. For fiction, this person for non fiction, this person. I'm like, wow, you got a lot of people handling this career that appears to be kind of in neutral.

[Andrew Walsh]

I see. I was like, what is Luke's Blue sky bio? Also, I realized that when I started Blue Sky, I was also on Mastodon. We were throwing a bunch of stuff up there, and I never thought that. I didn't know that Blue sky would be the one that would stick. And I realized I need to change my banner photo. It's a photo of some. It was at a UPS store, I think. And you know how the UPS store, sometimes they'll put down. They'll tape down a little piece of paper so you can sign the receipts and you don't have to like run the pen across the hard countertop. You know what I mean? You need a little cushion sometimes. So it's just like somebody put down a piece of paper. But then of course, a million customers doodled all over it. And it's got scribbles. And at the time, it seemed like kind of a nice little photo to make my banner. But I look at it now and it just looks like garbage. And it looks like scribbles and I'm embarrassed as my social media presence continues to narrow down to just be Blue sky and Flicker. I need to make sure that those are pretty polished images out there. But having said that, I wanted to see what your. What your bio is on Blue sky and I see that you have. Somebody's been watching the Detroiters. A. The more crim of podcasting is not.

[Luke Burbank]

The more crim just.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. He was a real guy though, right? He was a real Detroit broadcaster. Or is. Is. I said was.

[Luke Burbank]

I think was.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, but.

[Luke Burbank]

But this was what I found out is. Oh, okay. Is he like on the nightly news there? I thought he was retired.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I'm sorry. He is alive. That's what I meant. Okay. Of course. Because he's still on the. He was still on the Detroiters a couple of years ago. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

But this is what I found out about Mort Cram that I was surprised by is I have always. Excuse me. I've always told people that the Mort. I've always people told people that the Bill Curtis, who's the announcer on. On. Wait, wait, don't tell me. And a pal of mine, wonderful, wonderful.

[Andrew Walsh]

Man put that in the email signature.

[Luke Burbank]

That he Daytime Emmy award winning journalist and real buddy Bill Curtis Knower person who receives a Christmas card from Bill and Donna Curtis every year. I have gone around telling people that Bill Curtis was the inspiration for the character Anchorman because that's what I had heard from somewhere and because Bill was kind of in a way, like as far as the local. You know, he was a Chicago, you know, he was a Chicago news anchor for years and years. And then he hosted all these shows that he also his company produces which were like, you know, like there was. I forget what the, the crime ones were. It was kind of before. It was before the true crime wave really sort of had reached its. Its apex. But you know, there was this one show that Bill did, American Justice, I think it was called, where he was always walking down the steps of like the New York District Court down there at 1 Center street and he would get to the bottom step and he would say, like, but sometimes dead men do tell tales.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, whatever.

[Luke Burbank]

And like, anyway, I love Bill Curtis. I love all of his stuff. I still, by the way, I still watch American Greed. American Greed is great. It's narrated by Stacy Keach. It's produced by Bill Curtis. Well, by his company. And it's nice because whereas sometimes the true crime shows, the events are too troubling. Like people really lost their lives, families really lost a Loved one. It's a really harrowing thing, and I do feel bad about getting entertained by that. But American greed is just like, they invested their money with a cocaine cowboy, you know, and it's just like lots of shots of a guy driving like a cigar boat in Biscayne Bay. Like, it's like, okay, I'm sorry some people lost their money, but nobody lost their life over this. But anyway, all that is to say I was under the impression that Bill Curtis was the. Was sort of the character or the real person that the character of Anchorman was based on. But that's. Mort Crim is claiming that. And Mort Crim may have. He wrote a whole book. I think it's called, like, Anchorman or the Anchorman or whatever. So I might have been. I might have. I mean, Bill Curtis has gotten plenty of flowers in his life, but I might have been adding one to his. One to his accolades. That he wasn't necessarily actually the. He was not maybe the inspiration for Ankerman.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I have some questions. First of all, do you have any recollection why you were attaching that to Bill Curtis? Was it like, do you remember somebody telling you that or is it just something.

[Luke Burbank]

I think Bill told me that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, okay. Well, that's like the most interesting answer.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I mean, I don't think he told me. I don't think he told me that he was.

[Andrew Walsh]

He put in the Christmas card.

[Luke Burbank]

You would know if you got Bill and Donna's Christmas card, Andrew, which you clearly don't.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm looking here. And now somebody named Harold Green. The Internet is giving the credit to the physical appearance of Rod and Burgundy. Character may have been modeled after real life news anchorman Harold Green. So, I mean, you know, I mean, I'm sure it's a composite anyway.

[Luke Burbank]

The Mark Crim one is confusing to me because I don't think that Will Ferrell or Adam McKay spent any significant time in Detroit.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now here is. Okay, I gotta allow ads here. I'm allowing ads. I just use that. I'll allow it. Anchorman. Now, this is from wrkr Rock and roll, I'm assuming in Detroit, although I don't know where W R K R is. Anchorman inspiration was a Detroit News anchor from the 1980s, and they're associating with Mort Crim. Now, I will say I did not Google Mort Crim. You know, Anchorman. I just wrote who is the basis or who is anchorman based on. And I'm getting Harold Green and some articles saying it was more Crim. But I don't know what they're. You know, I don't know what they're basing this on other than maybe Mort Crim. I mean, I love this idea of, like, Bill and Mort and this Harold guy just all going around like, sort of telling their own versions of I am Anchorman.

[Luke Burbank]

And of course, because you rarely cross reference these things, it's totally believable. It's like a white guy with a sort of baritone wearing a suit, and you can kind of make the leap. Like, immediately when I thought it was Bill Critters, I was like, well, that makes perfect sense, you know, but now with it being potentially Mort Crim, that also makes perfect sense.

[Andrew Walsh]

So here, let me. Just let me. Okay, I'm still. I. It's very important that you and everybody understand what I am quoting here. And I'm quoting 107.7 FM wrkr rock and roll dot com. But according to this article, it says in an interview I clearly overlooked from 2013. By the way, this is written in the first person of the. You know what? Whoever was both running the board for the morning show, writing this blog post, and probably also cleaning out the coffee pots in the lunchroom, says in an interview I clearly overlooked from 2013, Will Ferrell said he loosely based his Ron Burgundy character on Mort Crim, news anchor at WDIV in Detroit. Though the initial inspiration for the movie came from Crim's time in Philadelphia, the character traits were those of the man who took Detroit News by storm for 19 years. So whatever is it.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't. Why do we. Why is this important now? Is anchorman set? I always thought it was set in California, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Isn't it? Is it Sacramento? I mean, it's. I've only seen that movie once, but people are obsessed with it. Isn't it like. I think it's like, kind of iconically in, I want to say Sacramento.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Because I just. For some reason, I feel like that character would have been written by somebody. Sorry, San Diego.

[Andrew Walsh]

Damn it. Sorry to cut you off. I knew I was getting that wrong.

[Luke Burbank]

You were in this right state. Yeah, but like, the. Well, I didn't even know. I didn't know where it was. I knew it was in the state of California, but, like, I feel like that's the kind of character that you write because you grew up in a town and you had your local newscaster that you watched every night, like, with your parents. And so for me, somehow the question of, like, did Will Ferrell and Adam McKay and I don't Even know actually who's credited with writing Anchorman. I kind of associate them with it. But it could be somebody that grew up in Philly and just was watching Mort Criminal, you know, when they were a kid, and it kind of went into their. Went into their memory banks or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

That wasn't your most unrelatable story. Thank you for being a tail.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, let's thank some donors. These are the incredible, wonderful, generous people who are supporting TBTL with a donation of their dough. And it's how this can be my job and your job and TBTL employee numero uno John Sklaroff's job. Thanks to folks like Sarah Hogan in Denver, Colorado.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you, Sarah.

[Luke Burbank]

Interesting thing has happened since our time in Denver, Andrew, since our brief, wonderful week there where we then did that live hangout, was that somebody brought along their friend, this Denver news anchor. Speaking of TV news people, Kyle Clark, who was really a fun guy to hang out with and, and. And was like, you know, was ride or Die, was like. Was like, you know, in it to win it for the whole time. And like, we were going to third locations and stuff with him, and people were noticing. People were like, oh, are you the guy from tv? But the thing, I have to be honest with you, I wasn't before that night particularly familiar with Kyle. But since then, he's become a phenomenon.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Because he hosted that debate, right? Is it. Is it Klobuchar? I get. I get some of my.

[Luke Burbank]

No, Klobuchar's Minnesota.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's Minnesota. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

But he. He just. He's been like. He's just basically been, as you might say, speaking truth to power in various, you know, like, just through his show and through these debates that he's moderated and just through, like, interviews he's done where he's really just like, you know, sort of not let politicians who are prone to lying get out of, you know, get out of things and stuff. Like, it's just funny because once we hung out with that guy, then I swear to God, every time I would look on my phone, on Tick Tock or something, that'd be like, news anchor owns, you know, like, owns politician. I'd be like, that was a guy from tbtl, Denver.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know why I said Klobuchar. I know. I. We're talking about Bami. I'm not talking about Bami. I meant Boebert. Sorry about that. I think the O sounds in their names got me confused. I'm embarrassed about that. I don't. Oh, yeah. Lauren Robert Yeah, that's the wrong side of the aisle. I. I knew. I knew it wasn't Bami. I call her baby.

[Luke Burbank]

You do?

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you remember what everybody. When she was running for president, people called her Bay. Me, Klobuchar. B, A, E. Like bae. Oh, no, that really stuck with me for some reason. That and Joe Mentum really stuck with me, but not enough to. That's a really embarrassing confusion. Klobuchar and Boebert. Sorry about that.

[Luke Burbank]

Klobuchar has not at any time been accused of being overly amorous at a performance of Beetlejuice.

[Andrew Walsh]

There was something about a salad on an airplane that I think was overblown.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that was probably over. I don't. You know, we don't have to litigate that right now. I was thinking about something like that the other day. What was I. Oh, you know, I watched the Martha Stewart. This is what it was. I watched the Martha Stewart doc on Netflix, by the way, would recommend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Really?

[Luke Burbank]

It's made by. It's made by R.J. cutler. You know, he made the War Room. Remember that doc? Talking about, like, it's. This is a good documentary, this Martha Stewart one. It's not like, I don't think she signed off. I don't think she had, like. Like, you know, final cut on it. I don't. I didn't watch the credits, but I'm guessing she wasn't the executive producer because I think she was kind of mad about it.

[Andrew Walsh]

She also said, huge difference in this day and age.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. And that's. And. And we have to clarify that now. Right. Because so many of these documentaries that come out are actually just a. Even like, you know, that Michael Jordan won the Last Dance and stuff there. If the person who is the subject of the documentary has the final say on it, it is then a hagiography.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right, Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

So I don't think this was.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right. The Tom Brady one.

[Luke Burbank]

God have mercy. So, yeah, so this one is not that. It's actually really well done and a really interesting. I mean, first of all, I didn't realize this. She was done extremely dirty on that stock thing with the prison time. Like, that was a really, really. And guess who. Guess who decided to make an example of Martha Stewart? Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hmm.

[Luke Burbank]

James Comey. A young Jim Comey.

[Andrew Walsh]

Not that young, probably.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, he was.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's looked young.

[Luke Burbank]

He was younger than us now when he's, you know, all six foot seven of him is in there. Because basically what happened was they were trying to get Martha Stewart on some sort of insider trading and the fact of the matter was she didn't do insider trading, so they couldn't prove that they didn't have a case. So then they went back and got her on. When they had called her in to question her about the insider trading, she had said some things to them that they deemed to be untrue. So it wasn't even that she had done a crime. It's that they accused her of lying to them about the crime she didn't do. And that's what they were able to get. That's what they were able to get her. Like, I don't know what it was three months in jail on, or is.

[Andrew Walsh]

That what it was, three months? It wasn't even a year.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, I don't think, I don't think it was a year, but maybe it was longer than that, but it wasn't. It wasn't longer than a year. But the thing, the reason I was thinking about this as it relates to Klobuchar, and I really was thinking about this thing with Klobuchar in the salad on the airplane or whatever that was because that was a story where Amy Klobuchar was, was, was seen as being less than kind to one of her staffers. And it blew up. And then the next wave of the story was we would never say that if it was a man, because if men are rude to their underlings, they're just being, you know, decisive and assertive. And I, I, I both agree that that is the case, but I also don't necessarily like that the argument goes so. Because we're okay with men being rude to people that are their subordinates, therefore equality is women being rude to their subordinates. I, I like no one being rude to their subordinates. And the reason I was thinking about that was because of the Martha Stewart thing. It is very much the case that Martha Stewart was a rough boss. And they have footage of her just being so mean to these people that are just helping her with this. She's doing a TV shoot. This is after she's been sentenced to jail, but she hasn't reported yet. And she's trying to do this big, I think it's like a Thanksgiving Day thing at her house or Easter or whatever. And she's like, has a crew out there to film her doing this. And these women are like, I guess, working for, I don't even think that they're like TV producers. I think they might be like, domestic help in her house that she's has cutting something with. And this one woman is apparently Using the wrong size knife. And Martha Stewart is, she says to herself, like, how can you be so stupid?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh my God. I mean, it's so much, it's, dude, it's so me.

[Luke Burbank]

It's so mean. And so I, I, I, I, I emerge from this documentary viewing experience with like a lot of complicated feelings because it's like, I do think that the she shouldn't have gone to jail over the stock thing. That was because James Comey is a bad person who I think might literally have like a psychological problem with women where he thinks it's his job to bring them low or something. That's all I can take from the fact that he did a, he did this to Martha Stewart for no reason. I mean, there's people there going, 99 out of 100 prosecutors would never bring this case. Like, it makes no sense. And then he does that to Hillary. With the releasing of various things at the worst possible times, Comey's got problems. But anyway, Comey do play that, unfortunately. But, and so anyway, in watching it, I'm kind of like, she definitely was a woman who was underestimated at a lot of times in her life and was mistreated because of being a woman and also was a real bad person to some people.

[Andrew Walsh]

Real and like, oh, I hate that. I hate.

[Luke Burbank]

Dude, I didn't know how to, I literally didn't know how to feel. At the end of the documentary, which I guess maybe says it was actually a nuanced piece, I was like, I don't, this is not the Martha Stewart redemption story I was maybe looking for. And it's also not the Martha Stewart is the Queen of means.

[Andrew Walsh]

I appreciate that. That's good. I mean, any documentary has a voice and has some point, obviously, but the fact that it wasn't just kind of like, this is the story that we are here to tell. Martha Stewart got wronged, or Martha Stewart is terrible. Like what you just described is way better. And honestly, like, I'm not really into modern documentaries. I mean, there was a time in my life when I would have said, oh yeah, I love docs. But since our world has become sort of like inundated with various kinds of.

[Luke Burbank]

Documents, the non fictionalization of all content.

[Andrew Walsh]

Which makes it more fictionalized. What was I even just choosing? The other day there was something, oh, well, I told you before. Can we bring it up three days in a row, four days in a row? You bet your sweet ass we can. Leading up to Super Wildcard weekend. I told you I was interested in that in the Latest in season. Series of Hard Knocks. Or in season, I guess. Season of Hard Knocks. That looks at the AFC North. And last night I found myself, like, kind of in between things. I think I was making a fried bologna sandwich last night. I got some. Some sort of halal baloney from the sars. Super saver. This weekend actually comes. Like, you have to cut it yourself. It comes in, like, a little, like a bologna.

[Luke Burbank]

You actually have to be there when the head of household slaughters the bologna.

[Andrew Walsh]

That is true, yes. Anyway, all that is to say I bought this little. I bought this, like, bologna. You slice yourself a type of bologna that I've never bought myself. Never sliced my own bologna before, you'd be surprised to hear. And then last night, I'm like, looking at it, I'm like, do I want this? What am I going to do with this loaf of bologna? I'm like, I'm going to fry this baby up with some eggs. And so anyway, yesterday I fried up some bologna and eggs, made myself a little sandwich on white bread. It was quite good. And I sat down behind my laptop in the kitchen. I said, what am I going to watch? I got about 20 minutes or something. I get into one of these things that I always threatened to watch instead of rewatching an episode of the Sopranos. And I paused for quite some time on the Hard Knocks and I almost hit play. And I was like, no. Like, I just know it's not going to be good. Like, I know what it's going to be. It's immediately going to be so cheesy because the reality tv, which seems already like an archaic term, but the reality TV ification of our culture over the past, like, 30 years now has really destroyed anything that isn't, like, the best documentary. You know what I mean? Like, I know what it's going to be. It's going to be Michael.

[Luke Burbank]

It's going to be.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's going to be classically Michael Garrett speaking to the tv and just say, no, but Miles Garrett or just. It's just going to be. I just. I knew. I'm like, you know what? This is going to piss me off within five minutes of watching it. Because everybody knows how to. How to present themselves into a camera. These.

[Luke Burbank]

We have Shriver.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. Over.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, over Stentorian.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I did see something with Miles Garrett the other day that legitimately warmed my freaking heart. Okay, so it was a guy who I think maybe plays for the Ravens, named, like, Rose. He's a lineman, offensive lineman named, like, Rosenkamp or something. Rosen penis. And he was.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's joke.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a Fletch joke. It is Rosen. It's Rosen something. And he was walking off the field. Actually, it might have been, it might have been kind of in between plays, but he goes up to Miles Garrett and he says something like. Because there's this thing where a lot of these guys will trade jerseys at the end of the game.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's why I think at the end of the game, I'm pretty sure they were trading.

[Luke Burbank]

So you know this clip?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, actually, I've only heard a paraphrase. I don't know if I heard the actual audio, but go ahead.

[Luke Burbank]

It's really sweet. The guy, Rosen, whatever, says, you know, I know that I'm just kind of a nobody, but would you want to trade jerseys after the game? And Miles Garrett says, hey, man, you're playing in this league, you're contributing, you're on a winning team. You're not a nobody. I got you. It was just like this quick little moment. But it, you know, was not for public consumption.

[Andrew Walsh]

It just, I believe, was miked up for that game, which is why it was, it was.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, maybe it will. Well, then maybe that's the guy. I mean, I, I, Obviously that's the only way it could have been recorded. But does that mean. Was. Is Miles Garrett, is he playing three dimensional chess? No. Did he know because he was miked up? Was he giving a speech there because he knew that there was ears on him? So he's gonna be the best Miles Garrett he could be.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, listen, if you have a microphone on you, you're going to present in a certain way. Like even us on the show, as transparent as we are, you and I would have conversations if the microphones were turned off. Maybe that we wouldn't otherwise. Not that we're lying or being disingenuous, but you should be conscientious of or you should be conscious of when there's a microphone on you. So to a degree, he probably knew. But I also think that Miles Garrett is legitimately a good man, and I like to think he would also. And I don't know how this pertains to a lineman's work, but maybe somebody was just exaggerating on sports radio. But I swear I heard the following week, which might have been a playoff game, that lineman for the. Was it the Ravens? He really bald out in some way. Or at least somebody was claiming that he had a really.