#4385 Bar Keepers Situationship

Summary

Podcast Summary: TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live – Episode #4385 “Bar Keepers Situationship”

Release Date: January 21, 2025
Hosts: Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh
Duration: Approximately 71 minutes

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1. Introduction

In episode #4385 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live, hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh dive into a blend of personal anecdotes, societal observations, and pop culture commentary. Despite the turbulent times, the duo maintains their signature humor and camaraderie, aiming to steer clear of the predominantly political landscape.

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2. Mental Health and Coping Mechanisms

Andrew Walsh and Luke Burbank discuss their recent struggles with anxiety and information overload, particularly stemming from constant exposure to news and social media.

• Timestamp [00:25]: Andrew Walsh: “...let me take off my assistant skirt and put on my Barbara Streisand in the Prince of Tides ass masking therapist pantsuit.”

• Timestamp [04:30]: Andrew Walsh: “...like, I can literally find myself, like, kind of five minutes into something and just be like, oh, wait, how did I get here?”

• Timestamp [07:12]: Luke Burbank: Shares his method of "anxiety cleaning" as a way to manage overwhelming feelings, emphasizing the lack of structured solutions for mental well-being.

The hosts reflect on their tendencies to engage in compulsive cleaning as a distraction from distressing thoughts, highlighting the importance of finding personal coping strategies.

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3. Elon Musk's Nazi Salute and Media Response

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the controversial incident during the inauguration where Elon Musk performed a Nazi salute. The hosts analyze the implications and the media's role in amplifying such actions.

• Timestamp [10:11]: Andrew Walsh: Clarifies the incident, stating, “Two Nazi salutes.”

• Timestamp [11:38]: Luke Burbank: Discusses his early morning anxiety over the event and references an episode of The Ezra Klein Show with Chris Hayes on the attention economy, asserting that provocations like Musk’s are strategies to garner attention.

• Timestamp [14:03]: Luke Burbank: Reflects on the normalization of negative attention and expresses skepticism about whether such actions will lead to meaningful change.

The conversation underscores the complex interplay between public figures seeking attention and the media's tendency to magnify controversial actions, raising questions about societal values and the preservation of democracy.

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4. Comedy and Cancel Culture: Dave Chappelle and T.J. Miller

The hosts shift focus to the world of comedy, discussing how allegations against comedians affect their public reception and comedic value.

• Timestamp [26:10]: Luke Burbank: Shares his disappointment with T.J. Miller after allegations surfaced, stating, “I went from thinking TJ Miller is funny to now... this guy is not funny.”

• Timestamp [27:41]: Andrew Walsh: Mentions Dave Chappelle’s recent SNL monologue, highlighting Chappelle's call for empathy and responsibility.

• Timestamp [28:08]: Luke Burbank: Analyzes Chappelle’s message to Donald Trump, appreciating the nuanced plea despite doubts about its effectiveness.

The discussion delves into the challenges comedians face in maintaining their craft amidst personal controversies and the broader implications for humor and accountability in entertainment.

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5. Mariners Baseball Team Outlook

A passionate segment addresses the state of the Seattle Mariners, blending sports analysis with humor.

• Timestamp [52:03]: Andrew Walsh: Expresses hope for the Mariners, jokingly stating, “I, you know, the song. I spend so much time just wishing him out of existence...”

• Timestamp [54:19]: Luke Burbank: Discusses the Mariners' pitching strength, referencing Mike Vorel's column about the team's competitive edge due to their pitching staff.

• Timestamp [55:43]: Andrew Walsh: Critiques the Mariners' management decisions, emphasizing the misallocation of resources despite having a strong pitching roster.

The hosts combine their love for baseball with critical insight, offering listeners both entertainment and thoughtful sports commentary.

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6. Creative Pursuits and The New Yorker Column

Luke and Andrew explore their aspirations for creative projects beyond their regular roles on TBTL.

• Timestamp [40:41]: Luke Burbank: Discusses his desire to write a “Talk of the Town” piece for The New Yorker, reflecting on the creative fulfillment it could bring.

• Timestamp [43:53]: Andrew Walsh: Shares admiration for the consistent tone in vintage New Yorker articles and expresses a longing for the magazine’s engaging style.

• Timestamp [45:56]: Luke Burbank: Narrates his past creative endeavors, including screenplay writing with a friend, highlighting the joy of creativity without the pressure of professional outcomes.

This segment underscores the hosts' commitment to creative expression and their nostalgic appreciation for traditional journalistic styles.

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7. Closing Remarks and Donor Acknowledgements

In the concluding moments, Luke and Andrew extend gratitude to their listeners and donors, ensuring the continued production of TBTL.

• Timestamp [60:11]: Andrew Walsh: Thanks donors like Ryan Johnson from Arlington, Washington, emphasizing their crucial role in sustaining the show.

• Timestamp [66:03]: Andrew Walsh: Recognizes contributing listeners from various locations, reinforcing the community aspect of the podcast.

The episode wraps up with a blend of humor and heartfelt thanks, maintaining the show's engaging and personable tone.

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Notable Quotes

• Andrew Walsh [00:25]: “...let me take off my assistant skirt and put on my Barbara Streisand in the Prince of Tides ass masking therapist pantsuit.”

• Luke Burbank [04:30]: “I think bartender secret is overrated.”

• Andrew Walsh [10:11]: “I want to correct you there. Two Nazi salutes.”

• Luke Burbank [14:03]: “...when half of it is just Jamelle Bouie on TikTok saying that was bad, that's still attention.”

• Andrew Walsh [26:10]: “The accusations are violent.”

• Luke Burbank [52:03]: “What they want, you know, Andrew, is it possible that for just...is it possible baseball will be what saves us?”

• Andrew Walsh [60:11]: “Ryan, thank you for donating as always.”

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Conclusion

Episode #4385 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live offers a multifaceted discussion that intertwines personal experiences with broader societal issues. Through humor and candid conversation, Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh navigate topics ranging from mental health and media influence to comedy culture and sports, providing listeners with both entertainment and thoughtful insights.

Transcript

[Andrew Walsh]

We have an amazing relationship. We both have so much in common. We both love soup and we love the outdoors. We love snow peas. And talking and not talking.

[Luke Burbank]

We could not talk or talk forever.

[Andrew Walsh]

And still find things to to not talk about. Tbtf. This thing turns out to be half as important as I figured it just might be. I'd say that you're all in line for some important promotions and personal citations. When this thing's over with, let me take off my assistant skirt and put on my Barbara Streisand in the Prince of Tides ass masking therapist pantsuit. Do not put that on the imaginary radio show.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, I've learned a lesson here, but I hope you all have too, about the vitality of shared experience. We will all remember this moment for the rest of our lives. It was dramatic. It was visual. It was stupid.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was stupid.

[Luke Burbank]

But it was also theater. Ooh, fancy. All right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Tuesday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. These are the best Cajun chicken niblets I've ever had. My name is Luke Burbank.

[Andrew Walsh]

I AM your host, 1323 Turdy, coming.

[Luke Burbank]

To you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia, where it is another absolutely beautiful day here. Oh, Ma Pa. It's just beautiful. Maybe we're in. This is maybe a meteorological thing that I just didn't realize. Maybe there's a nice little stretch of weather that happens in January, kind of. It's getting colder, so maybe it's a little less rainy, but I'll take it. It's other than my concern about the temperature of the various stray animals in my neighborhood and the hummingbirds. Other than that, I'll take this weather. It's pretty nice. We got a pretty nice episode of the show dialed up for you on this Tuesday. It's episode 4385 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. In our continued attempts to not focus on what is the overriding dominant news of the day this week, we look to last week and a couple of stories that we didn't get to that are totally and completely unrelated to politics and the fact that this country is burning down to the ground. A woman in Tennessee is in trouble for leaving her Halloween decorations up for too long.

[Andrew Walsh]

You scare me.

[Luke Burbank]

Raising the question, what does make a Halloween decoration a Halloween decoration? Also, we'll go to France for a topic. Today. We'll go all the way to France, where there was a guy for the last 40 or 50 years. Who was the go to French person for being the voice of Sylvester Stallone in his movies. He has passed away. His family is upset at the attempt to replace him with AI we will talk about that. And we will talk to this guy. Longest running cobra of the show. Maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. I also consider him a close and personal best friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

We met on a BFF app.

[Luke Burbank]

He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, sir.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning, Luke. I know we don't. I know what we want to talk about and what we don't want to talk about. At least I know what we don't want to talk about. Maybe I don't know what we do want to talk about, but whoa, I'm.

[Luke Burbank]

Getting into real rum spelled territory there.

[Andrew Walsh]

But I am going to talk about it. I want to ask. I want to check in on my best friend that we met on an app.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

How are you doing?

[Luke Burbank]

Thank God they started that app because we met on a BFF app.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, yesterday, it was inauguration day. It was a rough day, and it's just a really, really rough day. When you and I talked in the morning, I don't think we. Let's see. We talked about the TikTok aspect of everything on yesterday's show, so we didn't talk too much about anything beyond that aspect of politics, I think. But I think you made an illusion on the show. And when we were chatting before the show, you said that you. Operation Protect my brain was working pretty well for you or protect my. Feels like you were. You woke up on Monday morning and it sounded like you're able to sort of keep your head down, listen to some jazz. Like, scrub the hell out of your sink, I think you said.

[Luke Burbank]

And by the way, I think bartender secret is overrated.

[Andrew Walsh]

Bart, Is it secret bar keeps Secret.

[Luke Burbank]

Bar keeps best friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think it's Bart Barkeeps. BFF app. Yeah. Keepers. Friend. Barkeeper's secret friend. I think maybe, right.

[Luke Burbank]

Barkeeper's friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Barkeeper Situation. Barkeepers. It's complicated. No, it's barkeeper's friend. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. I've been hearing about that stuff. I'm not trying to change the topic. And I'm actually.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's okay if you want to.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, no. I'm happy to. I'm happy to. To discuss or try to at least take a kind of a. A temperature check on myself around all of this. But. But, but no, I got up on Monday morning and it was Odd, though, I must have been displacing something because, like, it's unusual for me at 6:30 in the morning to decide that is the point at which I should really get. After cleaning the sink sometimes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sometimes it gets after you. Seriously. Like, that's a whole thing that Ann and I talk about a lot. Like, you find yourself cleaning shit at times when you had absolutely no plan on cleaning that thing. It starts with, like, picking up a little speck of coffee grounds that you didn't notice were, like, sort of accumulating, you know, under the coffee pot. Next thing you to me this weekend, you are using a toothpick to clean out the crevices of a coffee pot that suddenly you didn't realize had been acquiring grime for three or four years.

[Luke Burbank]

As we're talking about this, and I'm kind of running the sort of rewinding the tape in my head, I do think that I've got some. And by the way, this is not my normal thing, but I'm kind of here for it. Like, I'm kind of. I think anxiety cleaning might do me right. Like, if there's something I'm going to be doing because I'm feeling overwhelmed. I guess there are worse things, and I've tried them in the past with bad outcomes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, because the other thing I did.

[Andrew Walsh]

I have been found passed out of the floor after cleaning my bathroom at midnight. Just so you know, it does happen.

[Luke Burbank]

I. I have a little cabinet in my kitchen, you know, above where the coffee machine is, where I put, you know, bags of coffee from Broadcast Coffee and the coffee filters and other little things. And sometimes there will just be loose coffee grounds up there. And I finally. This was on Sunday night. I finally said enough is enough, and I cleaned it all out. And then I cut a square. This isn't the permanent solution, but I figured this would be a stopgap. I measured with a tape measure and cut a piece of parchment paper to put in. Like, I didn't ever know I'd get to the age where I start lining drawers and cabinets with other kinds of paper so that next time there's coffee grounds on there, I'll just take the paper out and toss it or maybe, you know. So I did that on Sunday. Again, that's a level of, of. Of cleaning that I don't usually engage in. Or at least a level of kind of, I don't know, future proofing things. And then.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, and not thinking about it too. I just want to emphasize that because it sounds like, unless I mischaracterizing it. It wasn't like, when we talk about this stuff, you're not like, I need to do something with my brain or whatever.

[Luke Burbank]

You just sort of find yourself process.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. Like pulling in a little thread for a second. Right. And then suddenly you can find yourself. And maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit for you, you know, based on your experience, but for me, I can literally find myself, like, kind of five minutes into something and just be like, oh, wait, how did, how did I get here? You know, like, I did not come into this kitchen to put parchment paper down.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, I mean, some of it is. I wonder if again, some of it's literally like, I don't want to think about what's going on in the United States of America right now. And some of it might also be. I'm not looking at tick tock. Because even though I, you know, I don't follow, I don't necessarily follow overly political TikTok. It's. It gets in there and I can't. Look, I said this yesterday, I can't. Basically, I spend a huge amount of my day consuming information from a variety of sources, including the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Seattle Times, the Oregonian, TikTok, CNN, you name it. And if suddenly those places make me feel really, really upset because of what they're reporting, I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know how to fill my time. And suddenly I'm cutting parchment paper for the coffee cabinet. And then on. On Monday morning, I'm like, got the bartender's ex out and I'm throwing it down as I like, with a steel, not a steel wool, but one of those, you know, kind of metal sort of. What do you call those? Metal scrubbing devices. Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is it not steel wool?

[Luke Burbank]

I think steel wool has a different consistency.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I know you're talking about, you're talking about.

[Luke Burbank]

But anyway, whatever that thing is, I'm, I'm. I'm in this stainless steel sink, just really going to town, listening to Herb Ellis at your recommendation. And so I felt I actually, I put a. I put a post up on the ascendant social media platform and maybe the last honest social media platform at this point, Blue sky. That said, like, basically, I had a great Monday morning. I listened to some jazz music and I cleaned my sink. I would recommend this. And people were interacting with it. And then later I deleted it because I felt like I didn't want to be smug and I didn't want to be like for people that are really, really unable to look away from this and feel like maybe we don't have the luxury of looking away from this. I didn't want to seem like my. I was advocating for just checking out. Like, that's the answer, because I don't know what the answer is. Andrew. I don't think checking out is the answer. I don't think obsessively following each grim detail is the answer. I'm kind of splitting the difference now. Like, I'm aware of what the executive orders were. Like, I'm aware that Elon Musk did what appears for all the world to be a Nazi salute. These are.

[Andrew Walsh]

I want to correct you there. Two Nazi salutes.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, See? See, now that's the level of information I don't need. I was. I was able to handle one Nazi salute. Now you. Because you're. You're immersed in the information, you know, it was two, and now I'm not.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm not immersed in the information. The reason I say that is because I've been thinking about things this morning about how. And I'm sorry to steal the story from you, but I was just. The only reason I said that was because I've been thinking, you know, I haven't read, like, an actual reporter's piece or an investigation or anything that I would consider responsible journalism about what happened on that dais and then off that dais. And I will often say, like, hey, a snapshot is a quick moment in time. Like, you can almost tell any story depending on. Just, like, if somebody was talking and their mouth happens to be open in a certain way, they can look like a fool or whatever. Like, a photo can lie. I was just sort of thinking about that this morning, and I sort of thinking, like, boy, I know I saw that dude give the Nazi salute. And I was like, well, you should probably read something in, like, the New York Times about this. And I was like, he did it twice. Like, there are two photos from two different things. Like, that's a hell of a coincidence. Like, there's been a lot of photos of you and I taken on stage. You more. So I don't remember any. You ever making any kind of gesture that sort of almost looks like a Nazi salute, Roman salute. Certainly not twice in the same event on Inauguration Day. So anyway, that's. I interrupted your story and your flow. My apologies. But that's what was on my mind. Why? I just wanted to say that just, like, it's not. It's not a coincidence. It's just not.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, as much as I'm trying to maintain healthy boundaries and get clean edges off of the news of our country, I will tell you that I woke up at about 3:30 this morning with my heart racing, having a fight with anyone who would. Well, who was. Here's what I was trying to do. I was trying to handle the national media coverage of Elon Musk's Nazi salute in my mind. And this is what my brain was doing at 3:30 this morning in a very chill checked out. I'm not, this is not getting to me way. It was okay. He's of course doing this to provoke the response that he will naturally get from the so called mainstream media, certainly from social media platforms. It is an incredibly intentional. It is not because he doesn't think that it will get a bad response. I was listening to a really great episode, as always, of the Ezra Klein show where our friend television's Chris Hayes was being featured, talking about his new book the Sirens Call. And they were talking about the attention economy and also just attention as something that is really valuable. In fact, maybe the most valuable thing in our society these days is getting people to pay attention to you. And they were saying in a way something that I think I kind of knew, but they were saying it in a much clearer way than I thought about. Ezra and Chris were that the thing that Trump's lizard brain has figured out and that Elon Musk has very much jumped into is Democrats operate on this idea that if your choice is bad attention or no attention, go for no attention because bad attention is bad. Doing a Nazi salute is bad for your brand. That's bad attention. And what, what Trump has unfortunately connected with as an idea just because of his whatever, his, his deep seated brokenness has somehow aligned with this weird survival instinct or whatever you want to call it and Elon Musk has now adopted it is no, it's the volume of attention. So if half of it is just Jamelle Bouie on TikTok saying that was bad, that's still attention. It still adds into the overall amount of. And we're giving. I'm doing it right now. I guess in a way this is attention that's going towards these people. And what they've understood is that when we are in a world where everything is vying for our attention all the time, just being on people's minds is a w. Oh yeah. And so.

[Andrew Walsh]

And so and troll. I mean, and there's a trolling aspect of it as well. Like, like liberal tears.

[Luke Burbank]

And so like I woke up in the middle of the night talking to no one or, you know, in my mind talking to somebody who was about to go on a social media platform and decry this and what I was trying to say to them in my mind in this moment. And I don't know if I even stand by this, but this is how I felt at 3:30 in the morning. Don't play into it, you know, don't play into it like. But then on the other hand, does that, does that normalize it? I mean, I don't know. I don't listen, call me naive. I don't think that he's actually a Nazi. I think there's a lot of problems with Elon Musk. A lot of problems. I think he's, you know, he may, he may lap Trump as like literally the worst sort of element of the worst thing that could happen to this country. I would not have seen it coming, but that could very well happen. I don't think that he's actually, I don't think he is consciously trying to promote Nazism. What I think he's trying to do is just be as provocative as possible and own the libs as much as possible and get everyone really riled up. And when we get really riled up, I think we kind of play into his hands. I guess that's how I feel on this Tuesday morning as a person who's not paying attention to any of this or engaged.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

What do you think?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I, you know, just me weighing in on the aspects of that. Like, I think you, you've said enough on that. I don't need to get into that more than I already have. But I just. Yesterday was just such an effed up day for me. Like, I don't think, I don't know if I've ever had a day like that before where I was just so, so morose all day and getting worse as the day went on. I'm back into my Minecraft, so maybe that's something. That's great. Right? I think I'm really trying to. So I woke up yesterday and I also had that little feeling that I know you sometimes have, which is. I also had a little bit of a. Oh, today was supposed to be a holiday, which doesn't matter. You know what I mean? Our schedules are pretty malleable or whatever and so there are other days that are lighter days. But I know that sometimes you have this too. It kind of doesn't matter even if you like your job. Oh, wait, everybody else is not having this.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Becca wasn't working yesterday.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And Genevieve wasn't working. And that's sort of like me getting out of bed and then being like, why isn't Genevieve getting out of bed? And then being like, oh, I'm getting out of bed, Genevieve. It's like, it's, you know, you know, it's a government holiday or whatever. I wasn't feeling bad for myself, but it just had a little bit of that. Oh, okay. So I come downstairs, I do the show with you. I told you. Honestly, at the end of the show, even though we didn't get into the muck too much said, you know, it's always, I feel better at the end of a show. We goof, we. We spoof, we laugh, we craft. Really working on something there.

[Luke Burbank]

But anyway, very few things rhyme with laugh.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know. We carafe, we Minecraft. Oof.

[Luke Burbank]

Too close to a different book that was written. Oh, good Lord.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, Elon Musk likes to. Yikes.

[Luke Burbank]

You gotta leave the tea on there, dude. That tea is doing a lot of work.

[Andrew Walsh]

Walking right up to the edge of that lava pit like we do in Minecraft.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, no, I got to get out of Minecraft. We can't let it take over my TBTL references for another two years. But anyway, all that is to say I. I got done with the show with you. I was feeling a little bit better. I had some errands to run, which I think errands are pretty good. I was just kind of out doing my own thing. I came back home. Genevieve had had to kind of swap the car. Genevieve went to Costco, and I got home. I'm like, oh, Genevieve is gonna be gone. And I don't usually. I'm not saying I don't do this, but I don't like taking naps on weekdays every now and then, especially on a Monday, if up late on Sunday, which is not unusual, maybe take a nap on a Monday. I hate myself for doing it, though. I don't. I don't like it. I don't like waking up from naps. I don't like. It's hard for me to keep the naps short, which I think is key to keep it a nap and not just a second bedtime. And so I really don't like the feel of it. But yesterday, yesterday I came back from my errands, and it's like 2:00 in the afternoon. I hadn't eaten all day, and I was like, you know, I'm just going to. I'm going to be done with my day. I'M not going to take on any more responsibilities. I'm just going to treat the rest of this afternoon like a holiday. And if that means eating, like, made myself a very late breakfast of sausage and eggs at like 1:30 in the afternoon. And then I just went downstairs. I'm just, I'm going to nap for a little bit. And I did it intentionally and with intentionality. But then that was a bad idea, man. Oh, I woke up. It was probably like a 90 minute sleep away. So let's just say it was like.

[Luke Burbank]

Can I ask a personal question?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Is this, this is on the couch, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, Downstairs. I come downstairs, I'm like, maybe I'll turn on, like Family Ties is always on for some reason on one of those free channels. I was like, maybe I'll turn on the tv. But I did and I just sat down. I started reading the Count of Monte Cristo, which will put you right out, my friend. So I get through maybe half of a virtual page of that. Next thing you know, I'm snoring away. But the thing is, I wake up and again, I think my timeline is slightly off. I sleep for like 90 minutes and let's say I wake up around 3:30 or 4, something like that. And I feel like shit. Like waking up after a nap is always tough for me. I remember, I think it's the comedian Paige Weldon who like said something like she wakes up from a nap and it's like she has to, like everybody has to tell her who her family is and like she's going to sleep for like a thousand years. Like that's what it feels like for me. And so I now I'm just like in a mood and now everything is sort of hitting. It's not just the idea of, oh, the inauguration.

[Luke Burbank]

You made the mistake of creating two wake ups in the same day.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. I told you off air yesterday that when I woke up for the first time on Monday morning, I literally sort of had that feeling of waking up, oh, it's a Monday. And then sort of remembering, oh God, Inauguration Day. And then picking up my phone and seeing all of these like, you know, push notifications from the Times and the post about like, what's going on, what, what Trump promises to do in the first couple of hours of his second administration or whatever. And like, I had that feeling that you have when something bad happens in your life and you go to sleep and you forget about it for a little bit, but then you wake up in the morning and you realize the new reality you're waking up into. And it was like that feeling like of a personal tragedy. That was what I woke up to originally on Monday we did the show. Then I take this nap. And then when I wake up from the nap, it's like, I really like, as you say, the ascendant social media site Blue Sky. But Blue sky in the past few months has basically become Twitter, not. Not as. I mean, there are still tools built in to make it better than Twitter as far as abilities to block, you know, disrespectful conversation and stuff like that. But for me, it's just like all the big power players from Twitter over on Blue sky now. So when I open up and I see any. Anybody from Jamel Hill to, you know, like, people who follow sports and politics are timeline is any of the. Jamel was Jamelle Bowie Jamel Hill. That's right. You follow your Jamel's, I'll follow my influential. Yeah, exactly. That's funny. I just happened to. I just like, started following her a couple of days ago, and she's just one, you know, I follow.

[Luke Burbank]

She really straddles the line, though, I think of kind of, you know, sports and. And sort of politics or at least social things.

[Andrew Walsh]

So I don't think I said that because you happen to mention your Jamel, but you just stay in your Jamel Lane, I'll stay in mine. But anyway, all that is to say, the reality of everything started to hit me and Luke. Like, I was like, it's just like, turn off the phone, play some darts. I hadn't played darts in a while, so I was listening to a. I listened to a movie recap podcast, played some darts, was able to forget about it for a little bit, but then I would, like, come over and, like, check my phone for something. And there were moments yesterday, like, late afternoon, maybe early evening, where I realized I. And I struck a pose. This is like me observing myself, which is kind of gross to talk about. But, like, I realized at one point that if a Genevieve had come downstairs and caught me in repose, she would have just seen me standing, not standing there, sitting on the edge of the couch with like one sock on and one sock off, staring at my phone. I was like, how long have I been. Like, how long have I been like this? And then there were moments later on where I was like, I'm not even looking at my phone. I'm just staring. And I was like, holy shit.

[Luke Burbank]

Because it's like, where do you. Where do I put my eyes?

[Andrew Walsh]

Where do I put my eyes? That's a really good way of putting it. Like, honestly, I was just kind of like. And I found myself several times yesterday feeling like I need to. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing? What are you doing? Pull up, pull up, pull up. You know, And. And I was like, oh, okay. Day one, MFers. Day one.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. I mean, I was. I was in a kind of a similar mode here. Just at a bit of a loss for, like, kind of like the. Like, the lyrics of the song. I just don't know what to do with myself because. And in fact, Becca then sent me this. Some story. This was like, you know, maybe eight or nine at night. Eight or nine at night. And she said, oh, hey, did you hear about this crazy story? It was unrelated to politics. And it was. It was a story about, like, in fact, a. A mother in, like, somewhere, I believe in Texas or the south, who had. Basically, there was a high school. A high school student who was. She was being cyberbullied. And over time, it eventually turned out her own mother was doing the cyberbullying. It was a sort of a Munchausen by proxy of cyberbullying. And I. I said, oh, yeah, yeah. I. I go, that story's from a couple years ago, right? Or something? And she goes. And she looks it up. She goes, oh, yeah, it was. I don't know why. It just resurfaced. And she goes, something like. I go, I know. I go, the. The problem with, you know, your boyfriend is that all I do all day pretty much is just consume every single. And I'm not saying this like a brag. In fact, this is probably not good. But I'm clearly in the habit of consuming content all day long from kind of from dawn to dusk. And that's why it's very hard to bring up a story like a mom who cyberbullied her own daughter in Texas two years ago, and for me to not know about it. And I said, but if you ever want to blow my mind, tell me anything that happened in the news today that's not political. It's like my first. Like, my first, you know, detox. You know, my first information detox that I've had in the longest of times. And clearly it's. It's a. Something that I haven't fully mastered yet because I was just kind of wandering around the house last night, like, what do I watch? What do I listen to? I was listening to a ton of the Howard Stern show from, like, three weeks ago. I considered putting on coast to coast am, like, on my you know, Dreamland Radio on the Sonos. Like I just kind of like went to bed early, honestly. I watched the national championship. I regretted that I. Last night. Or sorry, yesterday on the show, I regretted that I was probably a little, A little mean to Penn State. And I keep calling it O day Penn State and Notre Dame fans about the ones that I know are sometimes, you know, less than having the greatest takes. But. So I walked around, I watched the national championship. I wrote a snarky blue sky that said, all cynicism aside, it's great to see Ohio State win their first national championship. Then I deleted it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Did you delete? I happened to see that one.

[Luke Burbank]

Then I deleted it because I was like, whatever, just no need to be negative today of all days. And then I just went to bed. And then I Woke up at 3:30. I wouldn't call it having a panic attack, but I don't wake up at 3:30 in the morning generally, unless it's my enlarged prostate trying to tell me something. I woke up at 3:30 in the morning to try to, with my mind, instruct everyone in the world of how to deal with Elon Musk. That's. That's what I did.

[Andrew Walsh]

I can't believe no marketers or advertisers have animated an enlarged prostate yet like, to sell some medicine. Like, like a guy, a guy our age waking up.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, I'm Pete the prostate.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hey, what are you doing at 3:30 in the morning?

[Luke Burbank]

Wake up.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wake up.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly.

[Andrew Walsh]

I want to say it is only.

[Luke Burbank]

A matter of time, my friend. That is definitely going to happen. And it will be for some sort of a. A drug that you can take that helps you not have to pee in the middle of the night.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right. And Jason Manzukas will do the voice if he's not still doing the mucus. Somebody pointed out to me recently.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, is he? Is he? Oh, he replaced T.J. miller. Probably.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think so. And so you have Zukas doing the mucus.

[Luke Burbank]

That's.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, honestly, I don't even know.

[Luke Burbank]

Could have been him in the first place.

[Andrew Walsh]

It should have been him in the first place.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, I don't know the T.J. miller. Let's, let's go from a serious topic, Andrew, to the MeToo movement, a less.

[Andrew Walsh]

Serious topic to relitigate the TJ Miller.

[Luke Burbank]

I just don't. I don't know. I mean, I don't know. Here's what's interesting about the T.J. miller thing. I like a lot of people and if people don't know TJ Miller is a comedian. He was in. I mean, he was a stand up, but he also was in Silicon Valley. I think maybe would be. Do you think that might be the thing he would be most known for?

[Andrew Walsh]

What I think of first, but he.

[Luke Burbank]

Was, you know, kind of really blowing up and in a lot of stuff. And then he, he was, I don't want to say canceled, because I still see him performing comedy on TikTok. He's not canceled, but he definitely lost some of his professional momentum because of allegations against him. I don't remember what the allegations were, but what I can tell you is I went from thinking TJ Miller is funny to now when I see his stand up pop up on my TikTok feed or something, I think this guy is not funny. And it's weird how that I, again, I don't, I don't even know enough about what he is alleged to have done. What the, you know, if he was caught in a moment of time, if he was genuinely being a tremendously awful, awful person.

[Andrew Walsh]

What I know is the accusations are really rough. I don't remember where it ended up, but the accusations are violent.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. Okay, good to know. But it's weird how somebody can. How that just makes, like, the jokes no longer work for me, if that makes sense. Like you would think a comedic premise or a joke would exist independent of the person saying the joke. In a way. By the way, I highly doubt that you watched it, but did you happen to catch Dave Chappelle's SNL monologue?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, but my brain just went there as well. Yeah, it was just sort of.

[Luke Burbank]

I thought it was actually very interesting. And I. Please, everyone, hold your fire. I'm not trying to weigh in on the question of if Dave Chappelle is or is not anti trans or if I'm. I'm not supporting Dave Chappelle. I'm just saying I watched his monologue and I thought it was. I thought it was very interesting. And I thought it was very interesting how he ended it. I don't know if you saw a clip of that. No, directed it at Donald Trump and he. Well, here's what he said in, in brief.

[Andrew Walsh]

He told everybody to be their best, basically. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, but, but the lead. Yes, he did, but the lead up, that feels like a cop out to me. Like, everyone be your best. It's like, no, some people be way more your best than you've been being and other people, you know, like, are doing our best. You know, like, I, I don't like that. Everyone be your best. Self. I don't necessarily like that argument because it feels like we're. We. We've all messed up in certain ways. It's not. Some of us are doing two Nazi salutes on stage, and some of us are not. Some of us have more room to be our best, in my opinion. But here's what he said that I thought was. Was a really interesting kind of phrasing and framing. He said, he went to. He said, I think he might have even himself, Dave Chappelle, have been in the Middle east somewhere. And he said he was over there. I think this was after he quit his Comedy Central show. And he said that Jimmy Carter came over and was visiting Israel and he wanted to go into the occupied territories. He wanted to go into basically the places where the Palestinians are living. And the. Because he had written a book, I forget the name of the book, but I think the book, the way Dave Chappelle described it was, the title of the book, was striking some folks in Israel as being pro Palestine. And I think what Jimmy Carter was trying to say is people in Gaza and places like that are human beings and they should be treated as human beings. And anyway, what Dave Chappell said was that Jimmy Carter wanted to go visit these occupied territories in these areas in Gaza, and the Israeli government said, it's too unsafe for you to go there. And he said, I'm going to go there anyway. And what Dave Chappelle said was that when he saw Jimmy Carter walking around in these places with minimal security and people coming out and greeting him, he said that he got emotional and he said, I don't know if that guy was a good president, but that's a great man. I was like, wow, that's a really powerful statement. Then he said, basically, we need to care for displaced people, whether they're in the Palisades or Palestine, which I also thought was. Was. Was a really good framing technique. And he said, I'm talking to you, Donald Trump, because I know you watch the show. He said, we're all counting on you. Whether we voted for you or not, we're all counting on you. And I thought, I've never heard it put that way. Do I think it will work? No, I don't think. Unfortunately, I don't think anything probably gets through to Trump, but it certainly was an interesting way to talk about it to me that I hadn't thought of it before, which is like, dude, we're counting on you. Because, I mean, I spend so much time just wishing him out of existence that I never Think of it as, like, we need you to somehow find it within yourself to not be the person that you have been for the last 78 years of your life, which, again, I think is a low probability of happening.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I was thinking about another comedian last night, and I was thinking also of you and our broadcast, Barry, because you're both huge fans of Gallagher.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm more of a Gallagher 2 guy myself.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And so. And that's. And I was listening to Gallagher 2's podcast. How you live in Gallagher 2. No, you know, I was listening to this podcast that. I think I've explained this to you on the show before, and it's so hard to explain. It's like, I don't know, loving your little brother, but then having to explain him on the school bus or something. It's just basically a movie recap podcast hosted by Scott Aukerman. Right. But it's also hosted by Sean Disston, another comedian. But Sean Disston isn't called Sean Disston. He's called Sprague the Whisper on it. And this show is like, hundreds of episodes in. It's a spin off, of course, of Comedy Bang Bang. And Sprague the Whisperer was a. Was a character in Comedy Bang Bang. They said, oh, we should watch this movie together. It's called Scott Hasn't Seen is the new podcast because basically they watch movies that Scott Aukerman hasn't seen because he's been a movie snob his whole life, and so he's just missed all of these huge blockbusters. So anyway, it's a pretty interesting premise, but it's weird because it's, like, basically just a chill. It's pretty fun chill movie recap podcast with funny people. But you have to. That. It's kind of like. Yeah, well, it's sort of hosted by a guy named Sprague the Whisperer, who has a fake British accent and is supposedly magic. That goes away pretty quickly. But their guess was Jeff Hiller of Somebody Somewhere. And I still haven't dipped into that, but. And again, I just. I mean, that show was really good, and it just set up Hiller for, like, a really. I mean, he didn't do anything. Like, you know, that. That is spectacular on the show. It's just three funny people chilling. But you just. I really like Jeff Hiller, and it was just, oh, my gosh, we're trying.

[Luke Burbank]

To get him on Livewire for spring and. Because he wrote a book.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. That must be why they got him for this, too, probably.

[Luke Burbank]

Although the book is not coming out until the summer, which I think is part of the negotiation. We're trying to. Basically, we're. Let's just. Why not? Let's have an editorial meeting here on the air. Anything that's not talking about Nazi salutes is probably an improvement. Yeah, we're trying to get his people to agree to let have him on our show because. And then we will hold the interview until the book is at maximum. It needs maximum promotional velocity, I was gonna say.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, they did.

[Luke Burbank]

Livewire provides that. If you get that Livewire bump, you're set.

[Andrew Walsh]

They did not mention any books. Now that I'm thinking about it. They definitely didn't.

[Luke Burbank]

He's probably just a pal of theirs from, you know, the comedy. I mean, he has such an interesting story, I think, too, getting to on that show Somebody Somewhere with Bridget Everett, which is like. And I'm envious of people. I'm envious of people who are sort of like this. And by that I mean people who are just doing creative stuff for the sake of being creative. I think there was a period in my life where I was a little bit more that way. And now it's all job. It's been jobified for me. I still enjoy it. I still feel very lucky to do it. But like, this guy Jeff Hiller, who's kind of the breakout star of Somebody somewhere, I would say was just a person in New York, you know, like waiting tables or working kind of temp jobs, who would occasionally be part of these. Bridget Everett would put these. These kind of over the top burlesque shows and like, you know, vocal performance shows and stuff on. I think maybe. I don't know if it was at the Public Theater or Joe's Pub or one of these places where a lot of just kind of like downtown art stuff goes on. And he was telling the story on, I think maybe Seth Meyers or something that, like, when Bridget Everett got this Somebody Somewhere show, she just reached out to him, was like, would you consider, like, auditioning to be on this HBO show? And he was like, I won't do my Jeff Hiller impression because I'm not gonna do. I won't do gay face here. But he was just basically like. He had the funniest reaction on Seth Meyer's show of describing like, of fucking course, like, what are you talking about? Like, I'm waiting tables right now. Do you think I want to be on an HBO show with my friend Bridget Everett? But it was like, it's the sense I got him watching the interview was he was just a person who liked to be part of these things that were happening inside a certain art making community, creative community in New York. And nobody is. People are not necessarily doing it to get HBO shows or to become the next Nikki Glaser. And I don't say that to be mean to Nikki Glaser, who I actually really enjoyed getting to spend some time with. But like she by her own admission is a very ambitious person. She's a person who has said I would have hosted the Golden Globes for free because it's such a good career building move. I just love the idea of people just doing shit because it's fun for them and they like being creative and there is not an outcome associated with it. I am. I admire that. I don't have that in. If I ever had it, I don't have it anymore.

[Andrew Walsh]

He was in UCB though. Did you mention that? So that like way back in early 2000s. Oh, good.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what? I don't think I knew that. But I'm not shocked to hear that he went through ucb. But did he have other things before this that made. There's possible he was in other things I wasn't aware of. I might have the story off a little bit, but like it looks like he was in.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, because it's. I'm just looking at his stuff here. He was in UCB and then he had. It looks like he had just had made appearances on shows like 30 Rock and Ugly Betty and Kimmy Schmidt and all of that. And that. That would have all been before. Well, actually no, maybe this. Maybe this is at the same time that he was doing some of these things.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I mean, I think the list of people who've been through UCB or Second City is probably shockingly long. Like I guess I don't think of that. I still think of that as for the love of the game. Personally, maybe that's just my opinion on the matter because actually this is related, but not related. This other thing yesterday as I was trying. How do you say it? Sometimes you say like watching through your hands or something. You being kind of like covering your eyes but still looking a little bit. As I was trying to do that to the Internet, this I was looking at a little bit of TikTok and what seems to be popping up a bunch now are. And maybe this is associated with. I think there's like a 50th anniversary or something coming up of SNL or did it just happen? Maybe I'm seeing this. They're doing a Thing where they have, like, Kenan Thompson watch his own audition? No, for snl. I'm always fascinated with the auditions for snl, you know, with, like, you know, what the people did that impressed the producers enough that they got on the show. But what's really interesting is they have the people now in the modern era watching the clip of what they did to try out for the show. And like, Bobby Moynihan, who I really love. It was brutal because his. One of his characters he does is clearly a sort of like a white guy who's sort of taking on what we might think of as a quote unquote black affectation. And he's wearing, like, a kind of a do rag and stuff. And, like, Bobby Moynihan's going, no, Bobby, no. As he's watching it. I was like, nobody thought through if the characters are actually kind of casually racist or bad. But it's very interesting to watch somebody see what they did for their audition. But this is what really struck me. The number of really talented, huge stars who tried out for SNL and didn't get on, including Colbert. They have Colbert watching his audition. They have to remember who. They have Jordan Peele watching his. Like, can you imagine? Jordan Peele tries out for snl and they're like, I just don't see this guy having it when it comes to sketch.

[Andrew Walsh]

That might be a wonderful thing that ended up happening to him, though.

[Luke Burbank]

I can only. I mean, I guess. Although here's one thing. I guess I would say the live sketch environment of SNL is different than the taped sketch environment of Key and Peel. I don't know that that means that Jordan Peele, I still feel like the person. He's just so smart and funny. I can't see him not. Not, you know, thriving wherever they put him. But it's just wild to see this list of people. I guess my takeaway from it. And again, I'm. I'm staring down the barrel of 50 in a year and a few months. So I think my days of trying out for SNL are probably behind me. But I guess I found it. I don't know, I found it kind of shocking and also weirdly comforting that, like, there was a point where Stephen Colbert was told, no, you're not good enough for this. There was a point Jordan Peele was told, now, this is sketch comedy is not really your forte, bro.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, you know, and there's a lot of other examples that are eluding me right now, but I just kind of was like, all right, like, I guess that means that you can see something. Could you could be, you know, fired from something or told or not admitted to something or told that you're not good at something or this isn't for you. And it might not actually mean that that's the case. And I think we know that intellectually. But it was nice to see it in practice to give me a little more. I don't know what just kind of self belief or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

I've never been turned down before, so I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, well, that's. As long as you can't get turned down if you don't leave your basement.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's true. And that's. I leave in my basement. I did.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's. I think Hiller might have been being a little like he worked a lot. Like, it looks like he never had any like recurring roles, but he like between 2004 and 2022, between, you know, eventually getting on somebody somewhere. Like he has. It looks like he's been trying to break in for a long time. It's like a lot of, you know, and a lot of shows you've heard of, like the ones I've already mentioned, like a lot of those NBC shows commute. Yeah, I think I already mentioned Community and those types of things and, and then a bunch of stuff I haven't heard of. But it looks like he was. He's been hacking away. I mean that. Not like a hack, but I mean he's been working away, it looks like.

[Luke Burbank]

Well then let me maybe reframe it. I guess my point wasn't that I didn't think that Jeff Hiller had ambition or like he, he wasn't interested in having a career and wasn't working hard at it. I guess what I mean is I just. The way that I don't have the interview right in front of me, but the way he described it to Seth Meyers, it sounded like like the stuff that he was making with his friend Bridget Everett was because he liked making with his friend Bridget Everett, you know.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And like I just admire that. Like I wouldn't do anything with you if we weren't getting paid. I, I wouldn't, I wouldn't even be talking.

[Andrew Walsh]

Telethon is coming up this summer. It's a mere exact 7 or 8.

[Luke Burbank]

If you want this collab to continue. No, but like, I just, I like what I would probably at my, at my age and my life progression and my whatever if somebody called me up and said, hey, I want to write this screenplay. Like me and my Buddy Cotter, AKA the Colonel. When we were in, when we were both unemployed, I had been laid off from kuow and he had been laid off, I think from the Lakeside School. We spent a whole summer just writing a screenplay together because it was like, why don't we try. We were kind of interested in this and I literally never even read it. Like we've hit like the end and then I seriously have not ever re engaged with it. And I don't think we thought this is, we're gonna get this on Steven Spielberg's desk because we didn't even try and we literally.

[Andrew Walsh]

Steven Spielberg famously has no desk. Standing meetings only.

[Luke Burbank]

And that was the catch.

[Andrew Walsh]

That was the catch.

[Luke Burbank]

That was like, like they were like, yeah. But anyway, I, I just remember just doing it because it was fun to be engaged in a creative process without any big plan for it. And, you know, or like, you know, I made that documentary about the Trachtenberg family slideshow Players. And yeah, I did. I submitted it to film festivals. But mostly I just wanted to see if I could do it. I thought it was a fun learning experience. I, I, I don't know what the, I don't know what the age limit is for re engaging with that, but I would, I'll give you an example. I was the other day, I was talking to Becca, like, I want to figure out how and if I could write a Talk of the Town for the New Yorker. Like, I love that if you're unfamiliar, it's the kind of beginning of the magazine and they're just little vignettes. It's just kind of like, you know, there's a new rat czar in New York and somebody, tad friend from the New Yorker goes to the press conference where the new rat czar is explaining how she's gonna like, stop the rat problem in New York. Or there's the, the who's the person who, you know, like replaces the life jackets on the Staten Island Ferry or something. It's just these little moments or, you know, Baryshnikov has got a new thing happening in New York and now we're going to go to a, you know, I don't know, a diner with him and talk about it. Just moments. And I love that they're just these little snapshots and they're all.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can I interrupt for one second to say one thing that I find fascinating is when I go to like a thrift store or like a flea market or something, sometimes you'll find old New Yorkers. It not, not, not the people the magazine. And what I like about it is you find like they've really held steady with the tone. It's always third person. It's always a little bit removed, but like it's always wryly removed. Right. Like it's all the tone of voice is always I am here, but I'm not using first person. And we'll just say, you know, a reporter was observer. Yeah. An observer might notice that the, the pigeons are pooping on her while she's speaking as the new. That that's a little bit broad. But anyway, yeah, I just love the tone and style of it and I love that you can pick one up from 1920 and it still basically that tone, you know.

[Luke Burbank]

And I was like, I was. I think what I actually this is how this conversation started. And again maybe this we're about to launch onto a couple weeks of either the most or least interesting TBTLs because I can't talk about anything real happening because it's too depressing. So then I just have to go into the memory banks. What was happening was Becca and I were on a walk and I was saying how when I started off doing stuff for CBS Sunday Morning, my dream was that they would be like talk of the towns that they would just be weird little, you know, like what we just described. But on tv. And what I learned over time was that's not really what they do. Like if I lived in New York and I went into the broadcast center, it's called Every Day, and I was like, it was my number one job and I was there to. I could kind of like push the bosses there to let me do more edgy stuff or more whatever. I could probably get some stuff on more like that. But at some point I just learned that's not really what is done here. And so I, I got in line with more like what is done here. And I was saying, but I've always just loved that kind of format or that kind of idea of just taking something pretty low key or banal and then just like exploring it for a short duration of time. And I was like, I really want to figure out who do I know anyone at the New Yorker? Or like what's the submission process? Or like, you know, and I would like to try to get back to. And not because I don't. They probably pay you 200 bucks to do one. It's not like I don't think I'm going to become a writer at the New Yorker. I don't even know if I can again. I don't Even know if I can do this. But, like, I want to try to re. I want to try to get back into a mode where I just do stuff creatively because it's interesting to me, not because I'm getting paid by a major software concern or because, like, it's my job at Livewire or even tbtl. Although this, to me, believe it or not, this actually feels the most pure because it's just you and me talking. But, like, I want to. I don't know. I want to. I want to. I want to. I hope, anyway, that my days of doing stuff creatively because it's interesting are not totally over, because there was a big part of my life in my 20s and my 30s, and it sort of stopped being part of my life when my jobs became the creative stuff. And I kind of miss it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't want to make any promises, but I could see. I could reach out and see if we could maybe get you a column in the Horse's Ass. Do you know Goldie?

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, sure.

[Andrew Walsh]

In Seattle. Maybe we start there. I don't know, man. Somebody brought him up the other day. I don't think I realized that he used to write for the Stranger back in the day. That was the generation of the Stranger, right before I got here. I think when I moved here as like, the Lindy west era, sort of that. Or at least that's how I sort of think. Think about it. So anyway, so I. And I always. For people who don't know, Goldie is like a. Just a local writer who's been around for David Goldstein, and he's been. He basically writes under a. Like, I hate even saying the name of the blog the Horse's Ass. Like, I did that start as a column in the Strange. You know.

[Luke Burbank]

You know that he had a weekend show on Cairo.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yes. That was also before my time, but I've heard of that. Yeah, I've heard of that. But is that what he's mostly known for, though? I always thought he was mostly known as being a writer. Was he mostly known as being a radio.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I think that. I think that the column has gone on for longer than the radio show. I'm looking at Wikipedia now. He's an American blogger and former talk radio host in Seattle, Washington. From 2006 to 2008, he hosted the David Goldstein show on Saturdays and Sundays on 710 Cairo. Oh, and he first gained notoriety by basically calling Tim Eyman a horse's ass.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that's where the name came from. Right, right, right. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

But, like, and he was part of Publicola and stuff. Boy, I miss those days of. I miss those days in Seattle of, Of, of there being. And maybe it's. You know what? I don't live in Seattle, so I don't know. Is it still happening that there are there. I guess you've got Erica C. Barnett, but, like, are there people.

[Andrew Walsh]

She's still writing under Publicola too. In fact, there's a big fight going on right now between Erica's reporting on some internal strife at the Stranger and now the Lex, the person who runs the needling, is getting involved on Twitter. So I got self help. I did a.

[Luke Burbank]

That we can review with Lex.

[Andrew Walsh]

I did too. Yeah, I had to. Yeah, go ahead.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm clicking on this web archive and this. Boy, this is an extremely niche thing. I'm about to say. Maybe there's 10 listeners who even would get why this is so perfect to me. But it's like David Postman writing in the Seattle Times. Dave Postman was a great columnist in the Seattle Times and wrote about politics and wrote down in Olympia a lot and stuff. And was just. This was when, like, the Seattle Times really mattered. Like, you could buy it every day and people read it and it was a thing. And this is Postman on Politics. And the headline is Lefty Blogger gets Radio Gig. David Goldstein of horsesass.org has gotten a regular talk show on 710 Cairo. Blather Watch has the details. And congratulations to the Cairo staff for giving Goldstein a weekly spot. Just like a time when Cairo was like, hiring people for the weekend and Blather Watch was writing about it and Dave Postman was linking to it. That was just a halcyon time in the Seattle. At least it was a time when I was there and I was kind of, you know. Well, at that literal moment, I was not there. I was in New York City. But, you know, I. This was the stuff that I really enjoyed.

[Andrew Walsh]

I just love the way that Seattle Times headline actually says what the article is about. I'm looking. It's a little bit less egregious.

[Luke Burbank]

That's what you missed.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is getting so. I know I've brought this up before, and it's just really old man yells at clouds. But like, it is getting so ridiculous with the Seattle Times web headlines. Like, none of them say, hey, this is what this story is about. And then you click on it for more details. It's all a tease, right? Like, this person may be coming into town.

[Luke Burbank]

Elon Musk may have moved his arm.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, yeah, but.

[Luke Burbank]

Or like get details on Elon Musk's arm movement.

[Andrew Walsh]

This person may be coming into town to interview for the, you know, often defensive coordinator job or whatever. It doesn't say that. It's just like, oh my God, Bears OC visits, you know, Seahawks. It's. Everything is just kind of like you have to click to figure out like what was the one that. I think it even came up on the show. It was driving me bananas. Like something like they extended the light rail. But there's still one problem. It's like, yeah, the problem should be, yeah, parking or something. And that's the way they all are now. And I think it's, I think it's such bs, man. It is. It is so anti journalistic to do that and it's so zerg.

[Luke Burbank]

But do you think this is a good headline? Andrew, currently on the Seattle Times. Elon Musk's raised hand gesture draws clashing interpretations.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that really it?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, literally from my lips to God's ears. Like, what a, what a headline. Is it drawing clashing interpretations or is it, I mean, that sort of both sidesism or whatever. I mean, that's going to be. That might be what kills me in the next four years, honestly. Although, here's the thing. I was watching a clip of Colbert and he had the Pod Save America people on kind of being like, how did we get here? And boy, I'll tell you, I was talking about TJ Miller and how all of a sudden it's like TJ Miller went from someone who I thought was funny to being like, nothing this person says can cause me mirth. Like I was, I mean, I was a power user of the Pod Save America as you were leading up to the election. And boy, to see like, you know, Jon Favreau on there. And Colbert's like, well, what do we do? And Favreau's like, well, we try to get the house back in 2026. It's like, are you shitting me? That's. That's it. We can look forward to hopefully getting the house back in two years. Like, oh God, that feels like that's like the Mariners signing a 36 year old utility player. Like, like, and, and while the Dodgers are getting roky, it's like.

[Andrew Walsh]

Or it's like the Mariner signing like an 18 year old or, you know, drafting an 18 year old.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, maybe that's a better, but not.

[Andrew Walsh]

Even that hot, you know. Right. But we'll see how it plays out in, in 2030, you know.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, we're hoping that by 20, 26, he can ably back. You know, I mean, who even are. Who. Who's even left for as a utility player for the Mariners? Who do we even have anymore?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, it's demo. I mean, it's Dylan Moore demo.

[Luke Burbank]

There you go.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's going to play. I mean, that's the whole. That's what this is.

[Luke Burbank]

He could help back demo against left handers.

[Andrew Walsh]

What My. My situation. And I think that they might go with this because I don't see how what else they have. The Mariners, I think, are going to have Dylan Moore play both first and second base this season at the same time. It's the only thing that really makes sense. And then I said, you know, maybe get Taylor Motter back to hold down third, start charging more for Beers. Whammo, bam, O. Pocket the savings and give the fans.

[Luke Burbank]

What they want, you know, Andrew, is it possible that for just. I'm only speaking for. For you and me, is it possible baseball will be what saves us? And I don't even mean like the Mariners or.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, this is a question I've.

[Luke Burbank]

Been asking about what Jack Donaghy says about. It's what Donaghy says about Kenneth.

[Andrew Walsh]

He says he'll either.

[Luke Burbank]

He'll either run this company or we'll all die by his hand.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's how. That's how I feel about the Mariners.

[Luke Burbank]

The Mariners.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm looking forward to the bas fall season so much. But then I'm like, why? I mean, and again, a distraction because it's a bit of a.

[Luke Burbank]

Guess what, it happens 162 times.

[Andrew Walsh]

And, you know, we all. I always look forward to the baseball season, the changing of the seasons that goes along with it. The listening to spring training while you're doing some sort of home project because the weather is like, there's just all kinds of stuff tied up. But this is the first year like. And I am. I've always been a gleefully naive, optimistic Mariners fan. In the off season, like, when much more knowledgeable people are in friends of Ours and, and you know, Mariners reporters and podcasters are wringing their hands about lack of action in the off season, I'm always like, whatever, it's all going to work out because luck plays a huge role in the game. And this time I'm just like, looking like they're doing nothing. Like the. The Mariners are literally like. When you talk about ghost runners, I think they're actually thinking about getting ghosts to run the bases. Like, I don't know where to actually, but not even good ghosts no, no, like small.

[Luke Burbank]

You want Lou Gehrig. No, we want Rich Amaral.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know who Rich Amaral is.

[Luke Burbank]

But I was a very forgettable Mariner utility player. I hope he was just some bully.

[Andrew Walsh]

You went to school with. I don't know, like they're doing. And so this is the first year, too, that I'm like, Mariners, I need this more than ever.

[Luke Burbank]

But did you read Mike Vorel's column on why, despite the ownership just actively flipping us off, the Mariners are still going to be competitive because we're still going to have the best pitching staff in baseball?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, if they.

[Luke Burbank]

Only Castillo is. Castillo is getting old because Steel was actually kind of bunk last year anyway, half the time.

[Andrew Walsh]

Steel is also a pro. What do you think the chance we should just move on. Castillo probably also won't be here next year. They need something at third base, and they will probably end up, you know, trading him off to. They got to do something. They. They have too many pitchers and. And not enough people playing, you know.

[Luke Burbank]

But, like, if they. We have. What we do have, though, are a bunch of pitchers who are entering their prime who are still there. Like, our staff had, I think, the best era and the best. The. The lowest ERA as a staff and the highest number of quality starts, maybe in the American League or maybe in mlb. And as long as you have that, maddeningly, you're always going to be kind of hanging around because you're just going to, like, you're going to shut enough other teams down. So, like, as long as that's intact, it will just torture us more because they.

[Andrew Walsh]

Because we're wasting it. We're absolutely wasting the peak. And with the exception of Castillo, these guys are on really cheap contracts right now because of their age. And that ends after this season, I believe. And we're absolutely king felixing this entire staff, this entire pitching staff. It's ridiculous. Anyway, so. Yeah, even.

[Luke Burbank]

But Andrew, even having this conversation, guess what I haven't thought about for the last 40 seconds? Nazi salutes. Also, it just so happens that on this day, as I mentioned at the top of the show, it is absolutely gorgeous. It's blue sky, the grass is green because it's not summertime. I'm watching boats make their way up and down the Columbia. I just had a delivery of this big kind of trellis that I'm gonna install this big metal square trellis on the side of my house. I have star Jasmine starts showing me that.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was literally gonna ask you, are you gonna star Jasmine? That's Literally my favorite smell in the world.

[Luke Burbank]

I. Mine as well. And I just ordered from a company called Fast Growing Trees Dot com. I don't know. Slow Growing Trees just wasn't able to compete in the marketplace.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's so funny. I was. When you said, you got those trellises, I said, are you gonna grow star? I was going to ask if you're gonna grow star, Jasmine. Literally, do you. Did I ever tell you about how we used to go to the same place in Florida, like, I think for vacation when I was a kid?

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, three years in a row. We would, like, load up the van in Ohio, and the family of four would drive all the way. I think we'd stop at some friends in Alabama, which is mostly to Florida, of course, but wherever this. I think it was Siesta Key. And you would start to smell that you were getting close to Siesta Key because you'd start to smell the star Jasmine. And I believe wherever we stayed, there was like an archway made of it, and we would drive under it, and we would roll down the windows. And, like, nobody in my family remembers that except for me. So it might have just been a dream, but I'm pretty sure that, like, no, that's a. That's a pretty solid memory. And I did not know that it grew in the Pacific Northwest until, like, some neighborhood in my old neighborhood had it. And I was blown away. I was, like, rolling around like a cat and catnip.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, me too. Every time Becca and I are on a walk down in Portland, if we walk by Star, Jasmine, or Daphne.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know. Daphne.

[Luke Burbank]

Daphne just, like, also kind of stops you in your tracks. So, like, I just got these two big metal kind of. They're not great. You know what they're actually made for? They're made for blocking off industrial equipment in a factory environment. In other words, if you worked on a factory floor, but there was something that had a big spinning gear or wheel, and they wanted to make sure nobody got too close to it. This would be the gates that you would build around it, but they come in panels, and then there's, you know, like, an opening so you can go work on it, but nobody's gonna, like, drive their forklift into it or, like, fall down and tumble into the. Like, the moving machinery. That's what these things are made for. But I am going to screw them onto the side of my house in a grid pattern and then put big, like, commercial planters beneath and fill that with good soil and fertilizer and These Star Jasmine I have, I have four 30 pound buckets of star Jasmine showing up here from fast growingtrees.com that I'm going to let live here in the Madrona Hill studio until we get past the freezing temperatures and then I'm going to put it out there, there. My point is I, I, I, I, I look towards a day, Andrew, where it's a nice Saturday and the star jasmine is blooming and the Mariners are maybe having a unusual. The Mariners are actually putting up more than four runs and we're texting about it and I'm like, you know, the, my, my life doesn't feel the way my life feels right now because when I last night I had a moment you were talking about kind of just sitting with like one sock in your hand. I really had a moment where I was like, you know, great societies fall all the time. You just never think you're gonna be in it when it happens. And I thought maybe this is it. Maybe this is the society falling. And like it's so what is it? I think Hemingway famously said like, you know, going bankrupt happens very slowly and then all at once, like it's like the end of democracy maybe happens very slowly and then all at once, like, like the fact that you just have these executive orders going out and that you have Nazi salutes happening at an inauguration and that you have, it's like, holy shit, am I seeing what I think I'm seeing, which is the end of American democracy? Like, am I really gonna be the guy who, and one of the people, I should say, who lives through that? Like, I did not see that for my life. So that was sort of a low moment for me last night. But then when I think about Star Jasmine and the Mariners, I, you know, and I feel a little better.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, sure. I mean we might not have freedom, but we'll always have JP Crawford. Thank you for being a tail.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, let's thank some donors who are making TBTL happen five days a week. Come rain, come shine, come Mariners, come political events that make us feel sad. We're here every day talking to you because of fine folks like Ryan Johnson who's in Arlington, Washington.

[Andrew Walsh]

Ryan, thank you for donating as always. Now, Ryan Johnson is also the name of a famous director, right? I believe so as watching. You know how stand up comedians, we're just derail this right away. You know how stand up comedians, when they put their stuff on TikTok and Instagram often are doing their crowd work because they don't want to just like put Their jokes out there. You must have noticed that as you're scrolling, a lot of crowd work stuff from the comedians. Well, I was watching one guy sort of doing some crowd work and not realizing he was talking to a very famous director. Like he called somebody and said, what's your name, sir? And this is a director who's famous for directing huge, big budget action movies, I want to say.

[Luke Burbank]

But you're not talking about the director, Rian Johnson.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now I am not Ryan. This name just reminded me of it. But anyway, and then he's like halfway through, he's kind of making fun of this audience member for being reticent until he realizes, oh, this audience member is being reticent because he's super, super famous. And then it kind of comes out in the bit anyway, that didn't really have a great power out.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, Rian Johnson, by the way, direct that movie, Brick and yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

And some of the Star wars movies later.

[Luke Burbank]

But that was his. I think, I think he might have even gone to college with. With an ex of mine.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, really?

[Luke Burbank]

And so he was kind of on my radar because at that point I think he had mostly done Brick. But yeah, then he did Looper and the Star wars and movie one of them. And then Knives out. And he happens to be married, Andrew, to Karina Longworth, one time colleague of ours. That Infinite Guest.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, really? They're married? Oh, I had no idea.

[Luke Burbank]

Remember, that was like the 1 hit show on Infinite Guest when we joined. It was like a Hollywood kind of history show or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

And so many people told me how great it was. And I don't want to yuck anybody's yums. I'm glad. I mean, it was a very successful show and people loved it and I'm glad of it. I had such trouble getting breaking into the sort of rhythm of her presentation.

[Luke Burbank]

There was almost zero discussion of Mariners off season.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's very true. Like we offer little sticky points like that in the show.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right.

[Andrew Walsh]

People in. Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. That's kind of the, you know, that's the sweet treat. And then we, we dole out the vegetables too. But mostly treats like, you know, Ryan Court references. That's what Megan Yoho loves. Megan Yoho in Charlotte, North Carolina. Just cannot get enough of our Ryan Court antics. Although, thank you, Megan. Thanks to Elena R. Flores in Los Angeles, California.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's our friend Elena. Thank you, Elena, for donating and being part of the famous.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't hold it against you that the Dodgers picked up yet another international star. We don't hold that against you, even though you're in Los Angeles, California?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I. I sort of do a little. I. I don't. I don't know Elena's feelings. I like to think that deep, deep down, Elena is a Mariners fan.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, I. I think. I think that's a safe bet. If Elena's listening to this. She likes things that are punishing to the listener, to the viewer, which is. Which is really the experience of being a Mariners fan.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Julie Higgins knows all about it because she's in Portland, Oregon, and also loves tbtl. Thanks, Julie, for supporting the show. Maybe I'll see Julie tonight at the legendary Sports Bra sports bar. Actually, it's sold out, so if you don't have tickets, don't actually come. But we're doing a live wire speakeasy down there tonight. It'll be very fun, see some folks there. Josh Doolin, probably not coming in from Dayton, Ohio. That's a. It's a bit of a trek.

[Andrew Walsh]

Maybe.

[Luke Burbank]

Wonder if Josh is amped about the Ohio State Buckeyes winning. I wonder if Josh appreciated me taking down my Blue sky post about snarkily, you know, congratulating Ohio State for winning yet another national championship.

[Andrew Walsh]

He might root for the University of Dayton. What is their master Flyer? Is it fly? How do you know all of those? That's like your super gutsy thing. He's the flyer.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, did the Dayton Flyers actually often have a really competitive college basketball team?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, interesting.

[Luke Burbank]

So that would. That would be the way that I would know about them. Josh probably knows all about the Dayton Flyers. And then Max Lance, also in Los Angeles, California, also not responsible personally for the Dodgers cementing their status as probably the World Series victor for the next, I don't know, 15 seasons now? Is that what we're looking at?

[Andrew Walsh]

I think so. But again, yeah, all the payments are deferred.

[Luke Burbank]

So Max, instead of going to Dodgers games, Max is donating his money to tbtl. And we are so, so thankful. Thank you to all of our donors for making the show possible. We couldn't do this without.

[Andrew Walsh]

Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. Oh, man. It's not from a female.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, Andrew, if we keep moving the top stories that are from last week and France to tomorrow and then tomorrow and then tomorrow, we will manage to avoid talking about the grim realities of this country maybe for the next four years. What are the chances that four years from now, we're still promoting Halloween decorations in Tennessee? I love it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I Hope they're still up four years from now too. I'm rooting for that woman. We'll talk about that tomorrow. By the way, I was just getting some tape ready. I was going to play a voicemail here from Angela, but I realized I don't know why this is just standing out to me now. I still have our bees bead drop. Bees.

[Luke Burbank]

Bees.

[Andrew Walsh]

Bees.

[Luke Burbank]

Beads.

[Andrew Walsh]

Bees.

[Luke Burbank]

Beads.

[Andrew Walsh]

Beads, beads.

[Luke Burbank]

That was a really fun time.

[Andrew Walsh]

Really. I also have this for some reason. All right. Sorry about that. I just happened to see that. That audio in my folder and I thought I should play it for you. That was fun. And I feel like we broke our listeners brains because I don't think they can hear the words bees or anything that even sounds close to those words anymore without just like barking it out like job.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't. And that wasn't like part of the my personal sort of Arrested Development canon until we did that segment. And you were talking about how you and Genevieve, I think, would always say that to each other. And now of course it is, but I. But I'm. Yeah, I almost a late adopter to that, but I love it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you know that that was one of. I find it so funny because I don't even remember that. I didn't originally remember that moment from the show, but years and years and years ago, that was one of the first like animated gifs that I saw. Aside from like a dancing banana or something like that. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

And it was just dancing baby.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I just remember like having that gif. I saw it somewhere and I downloaded it to my desktop and I would just open it and I swear this was maybe at. Was that show on when I was at New Hampshire Public Radio, Maybe not quite that long ago, but I remember like people would come by and I would just make them watch them. And I don't think even. I don't. Yeah, it did have audio. So it was like, I love it like this.

[Luke Burbank]

I love it like this is the town gif. Everyone gather around and enjoy the town. The town gif.

[Andrew Walsh]

I do sort of miss. I feel like there was a lot more like when I was at New Hampshire Public Radio. I mean, everything was different. The world was different. I was different. I was younger. I mean, I worked in a building, but there really was such a community. I remember like people coming over to my cubicle because, like, we'd all watch this together. I had like, you know how like in an office place you collect weird things and then people come over. Like we had these two huge books or maybe it was just one huge book of, like, astrology, like, that would drill down specifically on the day you were born orange, some huge book, and that ends up on my desk. So people would come over and be like, all right, let's. Let's see what Laura Colbert's astrological signs are telling her about her life or whatever. And just like it was. I do sort of miss. I miss the vibes. I mean, it will never go back for a whole bunch of different reasons. I'm not allowed to go into workplaces anymore because I eat all the cake. But anyway, okay, a couple of days ago on the show, we were talking about Echo. Professional athletes, specifically football players, I think, who found themselves in TV sitcoms. We're talking about Euchre, of course. And you had mentioned Dick Butkus, and I think you were trying to figure out.

[Luke Burbank]

I thought I was grouping him in with ex pro athletes who had sitcoms. And in fact, he didn't, weirdly enough. Or at least that's what it seemed like from a cursory stand.

[Andrew Walsh]

Because I think at one point you suggested, oh, maybe he was in Webster, but it was somebody else who was in Webster.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, no, I knew that Webster was. Was a guy named Alex Karras.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, so that was that. I remember Webster coming up. And then Angela sent in this. Hi, this is Angela from Ohio. I just wanted to call and say Luke was right. You guys were talking about different sports figures featuring in late 80s sitcoms, and he thought Dick Butkus was in one, but couldn't remember which one. It's my two dads that did run in the late 80s. He wasn't the dad. He was the cafe owner, but still integral part of that cast. So Dick, Buckus, and My Two Dads. So Luke was right. Thanks so much. Appreciate all you guys, too. It was a Dick Butkus vehicle, you might say. So there you go. Thank you.

[Luke Burbank]

I appreciate that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Those are three solid examples right there from. From that general era of former professional players.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I mean, I have to say, too. And I don't want to. I don't. I don't like to make fun of people's names, but I always just thought if your last name is Butkiss and you go with Dick instead of Richard or Rick, it is gonna toughen you up. You are gonna become an all pro. Like, I think linebacker is what I think Dick Butkus was. I mean, even when I was a kid, I was like, there's no way this guy's name is Dick Butkiss. Like, this is. This is too much for one person to bear, but he bore it and was a very, very successful football player. And then the maybe the third wheel on My two Dads.

[Andrew Walsh]

And then there was that famous song, a boy Named Butt Kiss. And that was all about getting toughened up. How do you do?

[Luke Burbank]

I'm the third guy from My Two Dads. All right, thanks, Angela. I appreciate you getting. That was 100. Not the show I was thinking of, but I'll take any kind of moderate. He was like.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, yeah, it was.

[Luke Burbank]

He was kind of in the mix. All right, everybody, thank you for listening today. We will be right back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you. We already know what the top stories are we're not going to get to, so join us for that. In the meantime, have as. Have as good of a Tuesday as can be had in these turbulent times. Take care of yourselves and each other. And please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to you all. Power out.