#4398 My First Meal

Summary

Podcast Summary: TBTL Episode #4398 – "My First Meal"

Introduction

In episode #4398 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live, released on February 7, 2025, hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Welsh navigate a blend of personal anecdotes, humorous exchanges, and insightful discussions. The episode, titled "My First Meal," delves into Luke's recent medical procedure, touches on Andrew's experiences, and meanders through lighthearted topics like sock maintenance before culminating in their typical sports banter.

1. Opening Banter and Setting the Scene (00:00 - 02:00)

The episode kicks off with Luke humorously asking Andrew if he has ever been in a gang, leading to a playful exchange about various gangs and the unconventional technique of resolving disputes through "fluffy fingers"—a method involving tickling to diffuse tension.

Luke Burbank [00:35]: "That's where somebody really gets in your face. You know, you just start tickling them. Really?"

Andrew Welsh [01:24]: "No, I didn't. I said I'm gonna fondue with cheddar."

This playful interaction sets a lighthearted tone, characteristic of their dynamic as longtime friends navigating daily topics with humor.

2. Luke’s Colonoscopy Experience (02:00 - 12:00)

Luke shares his recent experience undergoing a colonoscopy, providing detailed insights into the preparation, the procedure itself, and his reflections on the healthcare system.

• Preparation Challenges: Luke discusses the confusion surrounding medical forms and the thoroughness (perhaps overly so) of verifying patient identities.

  Luke Burbank [06:10]: "But we're sort of wrapped the show up yesterday... So really what I'm promoting is a story that may come up on Monday."

• Procedure Insights: He describes interactions with medical staff, highlighting both friendly and more stern encounters. Luke emphasizes the importance of following medical protocols and the personal anxiety associated with undergoing such procedures.

  Andrew Welsh [07:19]: "But by the way, flash forward, I don't know, what about maybe 20 years... you need to protect the people you love from yourself."

Luke’s candid recounting offers listeners an authentic glimpse into the oft-dreaded medical procedure, blending personal vulnerability with his signature humor.

3. Andrew’s Medical Anecdote and Shared Experiences (12:00 - 20:00)

Andrew reciprocates by sharing his own medical experience—taking his injured cat to an emergency clinic and grappling with the gravity of potentially signing away his pet’s safety.

Andrew Welsh [06:13]: "One of my earliest, most cringy moments... I stood there with the pen in my hand thinking, like, this can't be right."

This exchange deepens the hosts' camaraderie, illustrating their ability to connect over shared, albeit awkward, life experiences.

4. The Art of Sock Maintenance (20:00 - 50:00)

Transitioning from medical discussions, the hosts delve into a surprisingly extensive and humorous conversation about sock maintenance. Both Luke and Andrew explore their personal methods for managing socks, highlighting differences in their approaches and preferences.

• Luke’s Argyle Obsession: Luke details his meticulous sock-rolling technique, likening his rolled socks to delicate pastries and expressing frustration over a solitary hole in a beloved sock.

  Luke Burbank [49:29]: "Are you gonna ruin it by stumbling on the joke? The one job I had was don't stumble while you steal this joke."

• Andrew’s Practicality: Contrastingly, Andrew discusses his method of tying socks together and managing “lonely” socks—those that lose their pairs.

  Andrew Welsh [49:47]: "I have a whole bunch of pairs of socks that are like all of the same brand, various color combinations, but rolled up together and sort of stacked."

The hosts’ lively debate over sock storage not only provides comic relief but also showcases their ability to find humor in everyday tasks.

5. Transition to Sports Talk and Super Bowl Plans (50:00 - 66:00)

As the episode progresses, listeners are smoothly guided into discussions about sports, particularly focusing on the Super Bowl. The hosts analyze team performances, player accolades, and logistical challenges associated with watching the game.

• MVP Debate: Luke and Andrew engage in a spirited debate about the Most Valuable Player (MVP) awards, expressing indifference yet recognizing the broader cultural significance.

  Luke Burbank [36:30]: "That's one of those awards that even though I follow football, you know, pretty closely, I can't ever tell you who is the most valuable because I guess I don't follow whatever the high level stats are on that."

• Super Bowl Viewing Strategies: They share personal plans for watching the Super Bowl, balancing group viewings with solitary screenings to maximize their focus on the game and its commercials.

  Andrew Welsh [61:25]: "But I think it's like the medical staff going towards the things that actually fit in with their personalities and lifestyle."

6. Humorous Interjections and Ongoing Banter (66:00 - 74:00)

Throughout the episode, Luke and Andrew continue their trademark banter, interspersing humorous anecdotes and playful jabs at each other. Topics range from airline Wi-Fi struggles to absurd sock-related metaphors, maintaining an engaging and entertaining flow.

Andrew Welsh [58:15]: "You don’t want to hear about my socks, huh?"

Luke Burbank [66:19]: "But British Airways does not offer live television on its flights, but it does have an inflight entertainment system."

Their ability to weave humor into discussions about mundane topics like socks and airline amenities exemplifies the show's charm, making complex or trivial subjects equally captivating.

7. Closing Remarks and Upcoming Events (74:00 - End)

As the episode draws to a close, Luke and Andrew summarize their main discussions and tease upcoming events. They announce a Livewire speakeasy event at the Hotel Crocodile and mention Luke's impending first flight to England, hinting at future episodes filled with international adventures.

Luke Burbank [65:50]: "We are doing an event tomorrow night for Livewire at the Hotel Crocodile. Thank you."

Andrew Welsh [66:20]: "Genevieve likes to be watching the game with people so she can sort of also report on like sort of the reaction in the room."

Their final exchange underscores the show’s blend of personal storytelling, humor, and community engagement, leaving listeners eagerly anticipating the next episode.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Luke Burbank [00:35]: "That's where somebody really gets in your face. You know, you just start tickling them."

• Andrew Welsh [06:13]: "I stood there with the pen in my hand thinking, like, this can't be right."

• Luke Burbank [08:50]: "This is not nothing. This is like, I'm going to be unconscious."

• Andrew Welsh [12:00]: "I think it's just like a one security measures just to make sure that they don't mess anything up."

• Luke Burbank [49:29]: "Can you put on the poll. Can you use the word varietals when talking about socks?"

• Andrew Welsh [58:15]: "You don’t want to hear about my socks, huh?"

• Luke Burbank [66:19]: "British Airways does not offer live television on its flights, but it does have an inflight entertainment system."

Conclusion

Episode #4398 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live masterfully balances personal narratives with humor and relatable topics. Through Luke's detailed recounting of his medical procedure and their ensuing humorous discussions on socks and sports, Luke and Andrew create an engaging and entertaining listening experience. This episode exemplifies the show’s ability to transform everyday experiences into rich, conversation-worthy content, making it a must-listen for both loyal fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

Have you ever been in a gang? I have.

[Andrew Welsh]

I knew it.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, what are we talking about here? Crips? Bloods? Both. God. Yeah, them and the Latin Kings. The Warriors. Okay, newsies. Okay, so dig this. You're on the street and one of your gang disses you. Oh, my goodness.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, so what do you do to get him to make it right? Well, see, in the gang world, we use something called fluffy fingers.

[Andrew Welsh]

What is that?

[Luke Burbank]

That's where somebody really gets in your face. You know, you just start tickling them. Really? Yeah. And he starts tickling you. You know, pretty soon, you laughing and hugging. Before you know it, you've forgotten the whole thing. Y'all can just go to church together and get ice cream cone. I would have never thought that gangs.

[Andrew Welsh]

Would be tickling each other.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, it's effective. TBTM.

[Andrew Welsh]

Guess what day it is. Guess what day it is.

[Luke Burbank]

It's Friday.

[Andrew Welsh]

Friday. Gotta get down on Friday Everybody's looking forward to the weekend.

[Luke Burbank]

You said you were gonna go fondle your sweaters.

[Andrew Welsh]

No, I didn't. I said I'm gonna fondue with cheddar.

[Luke Burbank]

I was thinking about making fondue with.

[Andrew Welsh]

Cheddar cheese for dinner tonight.

[Luke Burbank]

No, Gene, that is not what you said.

[Andrew Welsh]

It is what I said. Don't watch the news.

[Luke Burbank]

Because I'm a kid, and apparently every time. Apparently Grandpa just gives me a remote after we watch the Powerball. No, you're. You're going to tell a story. I don't believe that I can bear.

[Andrew Welsh]

To listen to another one of your stories right now.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Friday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to.

[Andrew Welsh]

Live, too loud and too specific.

[Luke Burbank]

My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host. Yeah. Oh, yeah, buddy. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia, where when we were doing our sound check, it was gray and drab, and now it's sunny and beautiful. Oh, Ma.

[Andrew Welsh]

Pa.

[Luke Burbank]

It's just beautiful. Looking at the sun dappling the hills above Rainier, Oregon, across the mighty Columbia. Here we are, folks. We've made it to episode 4398 in a collector series, Let the fun begin. If I sound extra energetic this morning, it's because I've been eating food again. That's right. My colonoscopy is done. Come back, baby, and I'm going to tell you all about it. I'm going to spare absolutely no details. You're a gross person. Also, time permitting, and here's a. Here's a prediction for me. Here's a Burbank lock. A stone cold Burbank lock. Going into super bowl weekend, my friends, we probably won't have time. Time will not permit. So really what I'm promoting is a story that may come up on Monday, which is of an 11 year old cocktail reviewer who I think makes some pretty good points that would explain why we have so many drunk kids here. So we will talk about that on Monday. I know what we are gonna do today though, and that is talk to this young handsome stranger from New Hampshire. He's also a soulful rocker. He's also the longest running cobra of the show. Maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ship. Are you sure that's what they said on Ask Jeeves. He's Andrew Welsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Welsh]

Good morning, Luke. I certainly hope you are still on those drugs from your procedure because you said some pretty shocking things before we started recording today. Things that are not for air, that are deeply inappropriate and I'm assuming you don't even remember it.

[Luke Burbank]

You're saying things you couldn't know. Things.

[Andrew Welsh]

Things I shouldn't understand. Yes, that's what he says. How did it go? One of your big concerns was being put under and then coming back out and then everybody around you seeing who you truly are inside.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, nobody was around me because they don't actually let the person picking you up into the facility physically. They're waiting outside in the parking lot like a doordash driver. So that was one of the things that was kind of unexpected for me.

[Andrew Welsh]

So you were more concerned about Becca, your ride, hearing you say something while you were on drugs than just the strangers in the hospital?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I started off being unconcerned about the strangers in the hospital until the doctor came up to me. The doctor who would be investigating the deepest caverns of my body and soul.

[Andrew Welsh]

You could say he might know you better than anybody.

[Luke Burbank]

He's been places none other have. And he said your name sounds very familiar. Are you the host of Livewire?

[Andrew Welsh]

That's what you want to hear right.

[Luke Burbank]

Before they, Right before they, they, they, they head into your basement with some sort of headlamp on. You really want them recognizing you from your media work?

[Andrew Welsh]

Was he wearing a Roto Rooter shirt?

[Luke Burbank]

He called in something called a code 7. I didn't know what that meant, but just people started collecting around the. So I, as I. We sort of wrapped the show up yesterday. I was talking about how I Was a little bit nervous about the. How the preparation had gone, because I was trying to follow the letter of the law for this thing. But I. The information was confusing, which I was. I felt validated when I got there, and I was doing the intake and checking in. And by the way, this is just how it is, and it needs to be this way. But so many people made me agree, both verbally and with signing digital forms, that I knew I might die from this. By the sixth person double checking that I knew that I could die from this. I was like, could I die from this? But, like, as I was filling out the initial round of forms telling me I might die from this, one of my.

[Andrew Welsh]

Oh, I'm sorry, Luke. I cut you off right in the middle of the story. Go ahead. But we're.

[Luke Burbank]

Please, we've got all show. We already know we're not talking about child cocktail critics.

[Andrew Welsh]

I was just going to say one of my earliest, most cringy. Well, no cringy moments. Go back to the beginning. But I must have been already 18 years old, which is embarrassing to say, because I was driving at this point. My cat Alex had an injured tail and my folks weren't around, and I had to take him to. I had to, like, find an emergency clinic and take him in. And when we got there, it's like, it's the first time I've ever had to, like, sign the paper, like, be the adult in a situation, right? And they made me sign something that said, you know, if I didn't understand what it was. And I asked her, like, they said, well, we have to put your cat under anesthetic to make this happen, and there is a chance that he could die. And I literally said to them, tearfully, you mean you might kill my cat? I was like, you might kill my cat. And I stood there with the pen in my hand thinking, like, this can't be right. I remember thinking, this can't be right. I can't sign this thing that just says they're allowed to kill my cat. But now, as an adult, I'm old enough to know that they're allowed to kill all of us.

[Luke Burbank]

But by the way, flash forward, I don't know, what about maybe 20 years, 30 years? And you'd be yelling, it's not right as you're being escorted out of a grocery store by law enforcement.

[Andrew Welsh]

Right, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

So from this can't be right to it's not right. See, you've developed more agency in your adult life.

[Andrew Welsh]

The fact that I said to the security guard, you're gonna kill my cat. It really added confusion. That is a real cringy moment for me. But it's a real.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, 18 years old is not. Is not that old, actually, to be doing a big life moment without your folks around, involving your cat that you love. I don't think that that's crazy.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah. But basically, like, kind of coming face to face with the idea that, oh, yeah, you have to sign away certain things to say. Yeah, accidents can happen in these circumstances.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. So the first round of that, I was talking to the intake person, and she said. I was like, yeah, I really tried to follow the rules, but they're very confusing. She goes, yeah, we've been trying to get that fixed because we've been trying to get it all basically, sort of, so that it's consistent. And she said, we have not yet been able to do that. So she acknowledged the fact. So I wasn't. I felt a little better going in that I wasn't crazy. This wasn't like I was. These were easy to follow instructions that no one's ever had a problem with this. This seems to be an issue because there's various agencies and then various elements of Kaiser Permanente. So, anyway, I get in there. I am now being taken to the back by a nurse, and she says, are you ready to do this? And I said, ready as I'll ever be. I said, are you ready? And she says, I was born for this. And I said, this is a weird thing to be born for, but okay.

[Andrew Welsh]

A lot of energy.

[Luke Burbank]

And then she said to me, I'm not going to be the one actually doing the surgery or doing the procedure. I was like, okay, so you were born for taking my pulse and chatting me up about the history of the town of Castle Rock, Washington. So they take you into a little kind of not even a room. It's just an area with a bed. And then it has a curtain that gets pulled. And the first thing I saw that was unnerving was a very large absorbent pad on top of the sheets of the bed I was supposed to get on, which I guess maybe would be for afterwards, depending on sort of how it went. And then they ran me through the sort of. The checklist of things. She also reminded me that I could possibly pass away from this. I said, yes, I understand. She asked me. She was one of a few people who asked me, when was your last meal? And I'm very glad that when was your last solid food? And I'm glad my last solid food was memorable because it was with you and Genevieve and television's Chris Hayes.

[Andrew Welsh]

It was with televisions Chris Hayes coming off the meds. I did.

[Luke Burbank]

And that's one of the many things I regret. But that was actually, that helped because I knew that was Tuesday night because we were at Town hall, like a very easy thing to remember. And she kept. She asked me the whole thing. And then some time went by, we're doing other stuff. And she asked me again and she said, this is how I'm making sure that you're not lying. I was like, he's the officer. Like, well, the, the suspect's story remained consistent, so we have no choice but to release him.

[Andrew Welsh]

Let's go over the story one more time. I've already told you three times. Let's just go over it one more time.

[Luke Burbank]

The other thing they kept asking me. I mean, first of all, they were. I guess this kind of makes sense because of the awful world that we live in in the US where healthcare is not a right. I guess somebody could be trying to steal a free colonoscopy because people. I kept having to show my ID to people and tell them my name and birth date back to that Andrew and what the procedure was that I was there for. I told three different people that my name was Luke Burbank. I told them my birthday, and I told them I was there for a colonoscopy. I was sort of like, I wonder why they need to keep double checking this. And I would be shocked if they were regularly doing colonoscopies on the wrong people. But maybe it's because they don't want. Let's say that someone I know doesn't have health care and I'm trying to just get them a free colonoscopy on Kaiser's dime. Is that why they're obsessed with my identity?

[Andrew Welsh]

You know, I don't think so. I'm not an expert in these things, but I just think they have to be so, so, so careful. I remember when I had my surgery for my broken fingers on one of my hands. I think I mentioned in my details of that that the, the doctor or head of time or maybe one of the nurses had to, like, take a big black marker and, like, mark which hand it was. I knew it was very obvious which hand it was. You know, like the one with the broken fingers. You know, the other hand's fine. But, like. And I think listeners said, like, yeah, they have to take every single precaution so that if you go into the procedure and anything is. There's been, like, One thing that's wrong on one piece of paperwork, and then that's how you get into some malpractice pretty quickly. So I actually. I actually think it's just like a one security measures just to make sure that they don't mess anything up.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, I understand that, but I guess other than liability, I just. I was thinking, like, to what end? And the answer is to no end. Just to the end of liability, pretty much, I think.

[Andrew Welsh]

But.

[Luke Burbank]

So then about. The doctor came in and he gave me sort of details on what's going on and what the procedure. He asked me what my name was. I said, luke Burbank. He said, are you the guy who hosts livewire? I said, yes. He says, I love it. I think it's very funny. I listen to it when I'm on call on Saturdays. And I said, you kind of have to say that probably because I'm sitting here in a hospital gown. How many minor regional celebrities come through Pacific Surgery in Longview, Washington? But. And then that was when it started to occur to me, Andrew, that this is kind of a. I don't want to say a big deal, but it was more. It was sort of more medical than I think I was expecting, if that makes any sense. Like, I'm somebody who's been very privileged in my life that I have had very, very few medical events that have needed major intervention. In fact, when they were, the. The nurse was like, how do you do with IVs? And I said, well, I. You know, considering it was 25 years ago, the last time I had one, which was when I had my wisdom teeth out, I think fine. And she goes, we have a lot of people that pass out from these. And I was like, is it because of blood loss? She goes, no, it's a vagal response. I guess it's just usually because of anxiety about it. And she said, and. And I said, I think I'm fine. And she goes, okay, but it's no problem if you do pass out. She goes, the bigger they are, the harder they fall. I was like, oh, okay. So anyway, at about this point, when I'm in now the. I'm, you know, disrobed. I'm now in the hospital gown. I'm in a medical bed. I have an IV in. There's various doctors and medical people coming in to talk to me. It's when it kind of sets in, like, oh, this is. This is not nothing. You know, this is like, I'm going to be unconscious. There's going to be a bunch of People working on me and parts of my body that are usually between me and my God. And. And then I had the two most humorless nurses come out. Like, one gave Nurse Ratchet from One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest a run for her money. Like, everyone up to this point had been very friendly, very talkative. And then these two nurses just came out of the operating room, or whatever you call it, and asked me my name, what I was there for. I confirmed it yet again, and then just said, okay, and then wordlessly wheeled me in to the room where this was going to happen. And I have to say, as they wheeled me into this room with the anesthesiologist in there and all of these, you know, lights and screens and things, I had a small moment of being like, oh, this is a lot. And I feel like, you know, because this is something that is a medical necessity for people and something that pretty much everybody should get at some point in their life. And because there's so much, I don't know, there's so many people telling you that it's not a big deal, I think just to sort of promote it as a thing. And again, I do think it's a good thing overall that I kind of felt sold out by everyone who said, ah, it's fine, whatever. You take a nap, you go in, you take a nap, and then you come out. Because I was like, oh, this is a lot. To be wheeled into this room with these strangers. And one of them, really, I'd had a parasocial relationship with. Cause he's a listener. But I was like, this is kind of intense. I had a moment of being like, okay, burbs. Just like, keep it together. It'll be fine. Thousands, if not millions of people have done this. They've all survived. Generally, you can do this. I had to give myself a pep talk because they're wheeling me in, though.

[Andrew Welsh]

That's interesting. Yeah. I can only. It sounds very, very much like my finger surgery. Like, kind of all that prep. I. I have a question for. Not you, but. But for any, like, kind of. And I feel like we do have a lot in our audience of people who work in hospital or medical administration. Do you think that once you. As a medical professional, as a nurse or whatever the official title is, if you. If you're like, kind of assisting in something like this, I wonder how much once everybody is at the same sort of skill or training level, temperament decides what part of the process you're going to help with. You know what I mean? It feels like it's not a coincidence that the really. It sounds like I'm reading between the lines here, the very wide lines that you're drawing for us. I'm reading between the lines that the first person had a lot of energy and she was really chatty and really bubbly. And then eventually, as you're getting wheeled in, you have the people who are a little bit more taciturn or whatever, and maybe there's a reason for that. You don't want the taciturn people to be first. The first layer you go through. Right. While you're, you know, while. While you're still maybe 20 minutes away or a half hour away.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that would have been a bad start.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. So the, the anesthesiologist was. Was also very friendly and he had come out and sort of pre interviewed me and then I saw him in the room.

[Andrew Welsh]

Obviously, to figure out what jokes you're going to tell once you're in the.

[Luke Burbank]

Operating room, I wanted to kind of test Julia. Yeah, exactly. I've got like a couple of anecdotes about shitting my pants at a Mariners game. I could probably, probably get down, cut down to five. I've been work shopping them at the Comedy Cellar.

[Andrew Welsh]

I'm tapping my blue card. So, Luke, I understand your little accident in Mariners game.

[Luke Burbank]

Paul Schaefer. As Paul Schaefer looks on.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Mariners, Mariners, No, World Series. That's the worst.

[Andrew Welsh]

Where did Donald come from? Was he the previous guest?

[Luke Burbank]

I'm channeling him. It's a new side hustle where I channel Norm MacDonald for. People love it. Anyway, and so the anesthesiologist, again, literally asks me my name and what I am there for and I tell him and I forget. Exactly. Again, it's starting to get a little foggy here. But I forget exactly the thing that got us to this. But he said, oh, I think he said, like, you know, did you do all the prep or something? And I said, yeah, I really tried to, you know, follow the rules on this. And he said, that's great because we don't want to have you back in here, so we're trying to keep medical costs down. And I thought, who do you work for?

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, right. Like.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, you know, like if he wasn't about to put a mask over my mouth that was feeding in propofol, I would have been like, hold on, I want to tell a different story.

[Andrew Welsh]

It's.

[Luke Burbank]

I got a tight five on the Medicare. Have you heard of United Health Care? Have you seen the reaction? Like, we're not Feeling great about how costs are being managed. Generally speaking, that I had to pay $50 extra for the SU Tab.

[Andrew Welsh]

You don't want him to, like, reach over and turn on the Smile X Gas instead of the Propofol.

[Luke Burbank]

Right, Exactly. You know, we can't afford Propofol. Your Propofol is not covered by your insurance, but Propofar is. It's much less effective. Oh, that was another thing that. Another moment that I. Of mild. I don't want to call it panic, but of mild nerves that I felt going in, which was what I remember from getting my wisdom teeth pulled was I had some vague memories of the procedure, not of being in pain, but of the, you know, medical professionals standing over me. And what I remember was I was having a dream that I was in an airport. I was being wheeled through an airport in a hospital chair or in a hospital bed. And I think what that was was my brain minimally, consciously trying to make sense of the fact that I'm lying under this bright light and people are leaning over it. For some reason, that's where my brain thought that happens is in an airport. And so as I was kind of realizing the gravity of the situation and I was like, I almost wanted to say, hey, you know, the last time they did this, I don't think I got knocked completely out.

[Andrew Welsh]

And that's by design. Right. I think there are different drugs, I think wisdom teeth. Because they told me when I was getting my wisdom teeth taken out, like, you're not totally under, but you're on a level of gas that like, you're sort of conscious but you have no pain and no worries.

[Luke Burbank]

I guess that's true. It's been a long time. So I forgot that the thing about that, that I didn't enjoy was them saying, you won't remember it. But what I wanted to say was, but I will experience it.

[Andrew Welsh]

Exactly. It's still, to this day was my mind.

[Luke Burbank]

I would like to not experience it and not remember it.

[Andrew Welsh]

I was a young man when I had that, like, operation or that surgery that. What's the word I'm looking for? It wasn't a surgery. Yeah, procedure. And I remember I was just brand new at my job at New Hampshire Public Radio, I think. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

You had health care.

[Andrew Welsh]

I had brand new health care.

[Luke Burbank]

I got mine right upon being hired at KPI.

[Andrew Welsh]

And so, you know, I'm probably, what, 22, 21 or 22. And anyway, that was my first experience of having any kind of procedure like that done. And I remember being very concerned about that Description of it as well. I'm like, you're knocking me out, right? They're like, no, we use this other stuff. And you're. But trust me, you're like, it's a forget me shot. It's basically a forget me shot. And I'm like, I can't wrap my head around that. And I know I used this example all the time, but I say it in earnest. I just keep going back to being a little kid and watching some Charlie Brown cartoon where I think there's like not an episode but like some special where he finally kisses the little red haired girl but then he passes out from excitement and then he doesn't remember it. And Charlie Brown, believe it or not, has this existential crisis. Like, was it worth finally getting the kiss if I don't remember it, even if I was awake for it at the time? And like, honestly, to this day, I went through the procedure 24, three years ago or whatever and I'm still like, how does that work? How did I, how was I awake for it? But I don't really remember it. And I remember it was almost like being hypnotized because they were just kind of like, you're awake now. And I was like, I'm awake now.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. Becca did not have whatever that is for her wisdom teeth. We were discussing on the ride home yesterday. She just had like a local, you know, anesthesia.

[Andrew Welsh]

Oh, no.

[Luke Burbank]

She was awake for the wisdom teeth. She said she couldn't feel it didn't hurt, but she was awake for it.

[Andrew Welsh]

But it would be yanking your head around and stuff. I mean, you're pulling teeth that don't want to.

[Luke Burbank]

It's like pulling teeth, Andrew.

[Andrew Welsh]

You're pulling. They're not, they're not wiggly, those you got. Knock that, Knock that lady out.

[Luke Burbank]

So anyway, the, the, the anesthesiologist is reminding me that big healthcare is looking out for me and that they really don't want me back there because they don't want to have to pay for it again. I'm like, he puts the, the mask on over me and he's like, deep breath, deep breath. I'm lying down, I'm on my side. They're un. I've modestly tied the ribbons on my, my, you know, hospital gown. As if all of these people are not going to stare directly into the maw that is my bunghole. But for some reason I was like, I need to be modest for the period of time that I'm being wheeled into this room. And I could just feel Nurse Ratched untying the thing. And I'm. And then, Andrew, I take two breaths and they're waking me up. I'm back in the recovery area. And I remembered nothing. And I understand why Michael Jackson hired a shady possible chiropractor to apply propofol to him each night before he went to sleep. Because it was incredible. Yeah, I was out like a light. And then they woke me up and I took a picture of myself, which I later sent to you. And it was an absolute piece of cake. The procedure itself I have no memory of. As far as the having, you know, kind of a weird experience with the after effects of the drugs. It was minimal, as you said it would be. Off air. I think you told me. You were like, it's. It's actually pretty, pretty quick. Yeah, I went.

[Andrew Welsh]

It wears off pretty quickly.

[Luke Burbank]

It wore off really fast. Like, I mean, I knew how to operate my cell phone immediately. Which, by the way, I don't know if that's good.

[Andrew Welsh]

That's the.

[Luke Burbank]

That's the deepest groove in my brain. Grab the phone and take a picture.

[Andrew Welsh]

Real dawn of the Dead. They return to what they know.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. Children of the phone. That didn't really work anyway. So, yeah, I woke up. They woke me up. And then I was. I was pretty lucid, pretty quick. My body was a little. A little wiggly, which I think is also part of the don't drive yourself home thing. Although, honestly, if I would have sat in that bed for another 25 minutes, I probably could have driven myself home. But I'm sure there's a range of reactions to it.

[Andrew Welsh]

Do you know how much 25 minutes in that bed would cost you?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, the anesthesiologist had set up a meter. It was ripped out of an old New York City taxi cab. A little flag staring at the whole time. Now the bubbly nurse returned to check in on me. Oh, by the way. And she said. And I, she said to me with a straight face, Andrew. She was like, it's kind of funny, you know, they play music in the, in the room when they're doing the procedures. They play the radio. And the first song that came on as they were doing your procedure was like a virgin. And I said, do you say that to every patient? She said, no, I don't. So apparently that was some sort of a cosmic joke or whatever. But. So here's the update, though. The doctor came back by, of course, and told me that they had removed a very small and very benign looking polyp. Something that occurs often. And they Sent it out. They said this. There's nothing worrisome about it. But, you know, first they asked me my name and what I was. What I just had done. And then.

[Andrew Welsh]

What's the polyp's name?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, what's the polyps birth date. And. And then he said, yeah, it's. It's nothing suspicious. But, you know, this is what we do. We were in there, we got it, we sent it off. And you know, you'll hear from Kaiser if there's anything that needs, you know, more attention from this, but it's probably just fine. And in that moment, Andrew, I realized, oh, this is exactly why I got this process.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yes. This procedure.

[Luke Burbank]

Because if I had just sent in a sample of my stool, it doesn't show that kind of stuff. It's just a. I think it's a blood marker or something. You know, just indicates if some sort of levels of something are not great. But it's not going to find that little polyp which seems like it was nothing, but could have become something, could have become a problem. And this was the whole reason, like right up until basically the moment that I woke up in that bed, I was really starting to doubt my decision to do this. I was like, why? Because they. People. I talked to somebody this week who said that, oh yeah, they've just been, you know, sending in the sample and it seems fine. And I was like, yeah, why am I not eating red dye number whatever. And you know, why am I doing this to myself? This is so dumb. And then when he was like, yeah, we saw something, it didn't look like anything, but we snipped it, now it's gone. And we'll tell you if it's a problem or whatever. I was like, oh, I'm so stoked. That's not in there now.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, yeah, no, that you and I talked about that when we were first learning about the different options. Like, what was it like? Probably a year and a half or so now. This journey began because both of our doctors were encouraged.

[Luke Burbank]

Gonna miss it. Andrew.

[Andrew Welsh]

I'm still on the horizon for me, I gotta say, I'm. I. And so a couple of days ago, when we're talking to Chris and we heard that on yesterday's episode, and you clearly were having some regrets over your decisions. I was still in my head, still steadfast that I was gonna go this route or that I will eventually go this route. I would highly recommend that reason. Now I will say I am more. I am dreading it more now after your experience of prep than I was before. I did not realize. I thought it was like, well, you stop eating the day before. It's a 24 hour fast and you gotta be careful and you drink this stuff and you go to the bathroom a lot. I didn't realize it's like a full week of leading up to this and that you fasted for closer to 48 hours than 24 hours. As far as the last solid food, like that sounds. The prep sounds way more intense than I thought. But I mean, whatever, I'll get through it. Like we said, I like broth. I can. I can drink broth. I can drink you under the table with broth. So maybe I'll get three. I will say the lead up though, sounds much less easy than I thought it was going to be.

[Luke Burbank]

Here's the good news for you. It's. There are many more foods that you eat that are on the approved list. I mean, you could just eat a cheeseburger, you know, as long as you didn't have sesame seeds on the bun. Yeah, there's no rules. Or you could eat a steak every night. You could eat. Problem for me was a lot of the stuff that I eat is either high fiber. This sounds like I'm bragging. It's either high fiber or it's a seed or a nut. So like, if you wanted to just like, you know, if you wanted to just make yourself like a big old lasagna, I don't think there would be anything in there that would actually be prohibited. You know what I mean? Or if you wanted to just eat white rice. And rice is okay. White rice, not brown rice. Low fiber diet, oddly enough.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true.

[Luke Burbank]

You can, there's. You could eat french fries and I mean, like, there's a ton of stuff. There is the, you know, the day. And also what I would say is you should get the procedure earlier than I did. I. Because Andrew Podcaster, I scheduled mine in the afternoon intentionally so I could be on the show with you almost crapping my pants on Thursday, which didn't really pay off. But although I did almost crap my pants yesterday, driving to town to do some errands later in the day because the after effects were still the after.

[Andrew Welsh]

Effects after your procedure.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, because I still had a lot of Sutab in my system.

[Andrew Welsh]

Well, this is what. This is the.

[Luke Burbank]

And not a lot of solid food even at that point.

[Andrew Welsh]

Well, this is the real question that I've been dying to ask is tell us about your first meal afterwards, like how long after the procedure Was it.

[Luke Burbank]

Starting a podcast called My First Meal?

[Andrew Welsh]

What do you think? It's actually not the worst idea, the first meals after something happens to you.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Welsh]

But for real, how long did you have to wait? Was there guidance on this about what it was.

[Luke Burbank]

There was no guidance. And Becca, my beloved girlfriend, had made me a bunch of food. It was super duper sweet and it was so delicious. She's the best cook out there. And so the first thing I ate was some like a. Like a cucumber salad that she'd made me that just had all these diced up cucumbers and like little crunchy things in it and stuff. And it was like, honestly the best thing I've ever eaten. And then she had made me a big thing of rice and veggies and some tofu and some different garnishes and sauces to put on it, and. And so I just tore through that. It was without a doubt some of the best food I've ever eaten in my life.

[Andrew Welsh]

You went back to her place to have it or.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, she brought it up here in a. In a container.

[Andrew Welsh]

Oh, okay. Oh, that's right.

[Luke Burbank]

Glass. You know, it's all about PFAs, Andrew. We don't. We don't mess with the plastics here.

[Andrew Welsh]

I kind of got confused as kind of where this place was in relation to where she lives and where you live. So. I see, I see. Did she pack up here big picnic basket?

[Luke Burbank]

Kind of. It was in like a. It was in like a Trader Joe's kind of bag that you would, you know, reusable bag. And then it was in a big glass again because we. We'd sooner die than put PFAS in our body in this family, Andrew. A big glass container and then a small glass container with the other one. And I'm. When I tell you, I opened it and I just started shoveling the tofu, which sounds, you know, for people that don't eat tofu, that kind of sounds like a little bit like, really? But it was like fried perfectly and like coated in some delicious kind of sauce. It was so savory. It was so satisfying based compared to what I'd been eating previously. And so I was just shoveling that in and it was absolutely delicious and. And that's what I had for my first meal.

[Andrew Welsh]

Nice. That sounds good. You didn't have to wait. It was like immediate. You got back to your house.

[Luke Burbank]

No, there were no. They didn't. They didn't say anything about, you know, wait to eat. Yeah, like as if it would shoot through you or something.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, I was wondering about that. Or just because you hadn't eaten in so long, like maybe you have to be careful about how much you eat at once. Did you find yourself thinking, oh, I'm going to plow through this whole thing. But actually your stomach had shrunk in a bit. Like did you.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I don't. I mean for me, like you said. Because I don't think a day and a half. I don't think two days is enough to do that. But what I was going to say to you is definitely schedule a procedure for earlier in the morning so that you don't. Because that was what was kind of dumb. I wasn't even done with the whole thing until like 3:30 or something. So that added an extra half a day if not more of not getting to eat any food, which was kind of unnecessary. But again, me suffering for my art. Andrew.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah. I'm probably taking the day off whenever it happens for me. So I'll tell you.

[Luke Burbank]

You're not going to do the show from the bathroom.

[Andrew Welsh]

I might do the show from the hospital. How does that sound? From Sweden.

[Luke Burbank]

Will you make me your emergency contact?

[Andrew Welsh]

I will. Swedish emergency care.

[Luke Burbank]

Because I need to warn you, I will not resuscitate.

[Andrew Welsh]

That's good. That's what I have in my plans. What if I wear one of those. One of those headsets with a microphone that you and I hate so much that everything. You get every breath of me as their. As their.

[Luke Burbank]

I'll call you up on the Dr. Tom Terwilliger Roccino party line. I feel like. Select some like a rock and roll colon. Doctor who's sponsoring who's bought ads on sports radio?

[Andrew Welsh]

Actually Cologuard, I guess would be working against their interest. Right. Is Cologuard the stuff that. That's the altern. Is Cologuard the alternative or is that a supplement that you take?

[Luke Burbank]

No, Cologuard is the cartoon box you. Yeah, it's got powerful Clucky the Chicken.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah. Because why. Why personifies why? Personify. You're gonna do that too?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. I'm a freak human toilet.

[Andrew Welsh]

Here. I'll meet you.

[Luke Burbank]

I'll meet you by the baseball fields.

[Andrew Welsh]

I can't get enough.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know if we want this on socials. John.

[Andrew Welsh]

Thank you for being a tam.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, let's thank some donors. These are the generous folks keeping TBTL in business with their 100% voluntary donations. They don't have to do this. They have chosen to do it. And it's how this show exists without these people. No show.

[Andrew Welsh]

No show.

[Luke Burbank]

So no show. So we are so grateful for Matthew Peven of Franklin, Michigan.

[Andrew Welsh]

How you. Levin? Frank? Matthew. Heaven.

[Luke Burbank]

Sorry.

[Andrew Welsh]

I tried to start the whole. There is an internal joke there where Luke made that joke off air. I was going to try to steal it. The only thing I couldn't do to ruin it was stumble on the joke. The one job I had was don't stumble while you steal this joke.

[Luke Burbank]

Karma's a, Andrew.

[Andrew Welsh]

It really certainly is. But you know who isn't? Matthew Peven.

[Luke Burbank]

No. Matthew Pevin is an amazing human being. Everyone in Franklin, Michigan knows it. And now the. Now the world knows it. Thank you, Matthew. Thanks to Maurice Higgins of Lincoln, Nebraska.

[Andrew Welsh]

Cool.

[Luke Burbank]

I wonder if Maurice and Matthew have a bit of a rivalry between the Cornhuskers and the Wolverines.

[Andrew Welsh]

Are they both Nebraska, Michigan? Oh, oh, right. Sure. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

You just coded in the most obvious and boring way. You know, let me just. Let me just go with the most. I'm guilty of that a lot, Andrew. In real life, it's the. If I meet someone from somewhere and generally that's a place that has a team, I will go, oh, Nebraska fan. But I'll use my Norm MacDonald voice. Now it's. Who's that becoming? David, Like David Letterman?

[Andrew Welsh]

No, that was pretty good.

[Luke Burbank]

It's some. It's a. It's a gap tooth person.

[Andrew Welsh]

That was normcore.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Andrew Welsh]

That's the show title.

[Luke Burbank]

That is the show title, my friend. And we have Maurice Higgins to thank us for. To thank for it. And also Cammy Suzuki in Pasadena, California.

[Andrew Welsh]

Hey now, what did you call. I haven't heard this story in a while. What's your nickname for Pasadena?

[Luke Burbank]

Pass the Donuts.

[Andrew Welsh]

Pass the Donuts.

[Luke Burbank]

God, I love Pasadena. What a wonderful place. I would absolutely live in Pasadena, right down the street from Cami if I could. Thank you so much. Thanks also to Georgia Milward in Baltimore, Maryland.

[Andrew Welsh]

All right, Georgia. Go O's.

[Luke Burbank]

I want you. I want you to. To. To hold space for. Is it Mark Andrews who's the tight end who dropped the two point conversion?

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Hold. Hold space for him. Okay. He's going through it and he can't show his face in Baltimore right now.

[Andrew Welsh]

Lamar got passed over for the MVP yesterday, although I will say he's won it two times before. So I don't feel as bad like I feel like Lamar doesn't get a lot of the maybe praise that he. He should. And that's something that comes up on this show and other Shows a lot. But when talk, when you're talking about MVP stuff, he's been celebrated as an mvp. They gave it to Josh this time.

[Luke Burbank]

Josh Allen. That's one of those awards that even though I follow football, you know, pretty closely, I can't ever tell you who is the most valuable because I guess I don't follow whatever the high level stats are on that. You know what I mean? Like, I know Josh Allen is a good quarterback for the Buffalo Bills. I know that Lamar Jackson is a good quarterback for the Baltimore Ravens. I know that Patrick Mahomes is a good quarterback for the Kansas City Chiefs. This is the part of the show where I just name NFL quarterbacks. I know that Russell Wilson is a good quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers anyway, but I don't understand like if you would have, if you'd have woken me up out of a propofol sleep and said, who are the, who are the leading. Who's the likely person to win the mvp? I would have been like, I don't, like maybe, I guess Mahomes. I don't even know. Yeah, and obviously it wasn't here.

[Andrew Welsh]

You know, that's the thing too. I really don't care about MVP awards across the board.

[Luke Burbank]

Uh huh.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I think I kind of feel the same way, I guess also because I haven't had a team that's ever had a player. Did you hear about the, like, I don't know who this is but like there was, I think one person didn't vote Ichiro into the hall of Fame.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, yeah, that was a huge thing around.

[Luke Burbank]

They figured out who it was. Is this, is this on the record? Are these anonymous?

[Andrew Welsh]

No, it's anonymous. You can come forward if you want to. In fact, that was like kind of the, that was both a local and national story. So I was getting a lot of coverage of that and it led to a lot of people writing, you know, like pieces or commentaries talking about how like it shouldn't be anonymous or if you are the one person you should write and essay explaining it because it really does sort of seem like a bit of a. Well, I just want, I want to be the one person who didn't vote for him.

[Luke Burbank]

But I almost think that the fact that it's anonymous makes it a more pure process because I could see friggin Skip Bayless or somebody, somebody trying to have a hot take. Right. But you can't. You don't even get to have.

[Andrew Welsh]

I mean you can identify yourself. Yeah, yeah, you can identify yourself. You can, you can tell you There's. Right. There's no code of secrecy, but you can remain anonymous if you don't tell people what you.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I still, I guess I still think that there's. Believe it or not, I think there's, you would think, less honor to. To making a vote for a Hall of Fame candidate and anonymizing it. But I guess I feel like it's almost more pure to me still because it's not an attention grab. You're not trying to get attention for doing. You're not trying to. You're not trying to troll in a way that gets back to you. Now you could also say that that's like leaving a shitty comment on the Internet and using a burner account. So there's two ways to look at it. But I guess it's like the way that I choose to look at it is this person wasn't just trying to get their name in the paper by being the one holdout on each.

[Andrew Welsh]

Because they could have, they could have. They could have said, I am the. I am that person.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, exactly. I am Spartacus.

[Andrew Welsh]

I am Scott.

[Luke Burbank]

I am. I am. That was my joke, Andrew. I did that joke when we were stopped down and you stole it from me.

[Andrew Welsh]

We knew we were going to get on this MVP conversation.

[Luke Burbank]

You and me and Scott Rosen are of Seattle, Washington are owed an apology right now.

[Andrew Welsh]

I apologize to both of you. Scott Rosen of Seattle, Washington, thank you for being a donor. I apologize. I also apologize for openly speculating as to whether or not you are related to Josh Rosen who was also a quarterback in the draft class of Baker.

[Luke Burbank]

I did not you notice I didn't name him when I was naming QBs.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, he's the one. Because it was like it was Baker and Lamar and another big name all in the same draft class. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Was that maybe Goff might have been.

[Andrew Welsh]

Golf Darnold, one of those.

[Luke Burbank]

Was Jared Goof in that? Was Sam Darnold out for mono? Boy, that was a crazy thing. I mean that was a cra. That the, the crash out of Sam Darnold. Just wild, you know, wild to see like. Anyway, this is. We have a problem. See, see your doctor if you have the medical condition called recurring sports talk. If you're, if you're mild to moderate recurring. If you're having flare ups of recurring sports talk, just like Kevin Fisher in Alexandria, Virginia is just patiently waiting to be thanked for donating to the show. Thank you, Kevin. And then we have. We just had a major flare up of sports talk. I was about to start going into how Luka Doncic lost $100 million by the Mavs trading him.

[Andrew Welsh]

What? Really? Just. Well, we probably don't have to get in the details just because of his.

[Luke Burbank]

Contract and because of the tax structure of California, which for some reason, that's the part that like, really would like. I mean, the guy's, the guy's wealth, wealthy beyond belief. He'll be fine. But the idea that a team could just be like, yeah, we don't, we don't see this in our future, or we want Anthony Davis or whatever it is the Mavs are thinking. And they're just like, so anyway, that's going to be about 100 million less. Part of it's because he can't sign a supermax with the Lakers for some reason, and I don't know if they already have somebody under that particular title or whatever. So literally, he's going to make less money at the Lakers than he would have if Dallas resigned him. But also the tax structure of California.

[Andrew Welsh]

See, that bodes well for a NBA team coming to Seattle. No income tax here. You'd think you'd be able to attract a lot of good talent that way.

[Luke Burbank]

It's sort of the opposite of somebody coming to play at, at the Mariners Stadium, where you know that you're, you're going to have your worst offensive year. Like, you have to build that in. Pay me more. Because where they put lead in the.

[Andrew Welsh]

Middle of the ball. Yeah, that's just something we do here in Seattle.

[Luke Burbank]

We've woven an elaborate sort of hammock style thing about 50ft above the field. So if you hit a fly ball that goes over 50ft, it just bounces right back down.

[Andrew Welsh]

We have Giant fans. We have just Giant fans up in the sky that blow down during games.

[Luke Burbank]

We thought the hammock would be fun for the kids, for the junior Mariners, and so just try to hit around it. Oh, and by the way, no second baseman. If you hit it to second base, it's an out. You know, there's a ghost runner on second. There's no second basement and Mrs. Vandenberg's yard is an out. I know it looks like left field, but if you hit it over that fence, it's out. Because we don't want to go get the ball out of her yard. Okay.

[Andrew Welsh]

Depot is right now honestly signing a ghost. That's the sad thing about that. He's actually in a graveyard trying to summon up ghost players because they're really affordable.

[Luke Burbank]

But not any of the good players.

[Andrew Welsh]

No, not even players who we're not getting DiMaggio.

[Luke Burbank]

We're not getting. We're not getting Roberto Clemente. Kidding. We're getting. I'm trying to think.

[Andrew Welsh]

I didn't want to refund this because I wouldn't know any non.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I didn't want to off. I didn't want to off. I was going to say Ryan Court, but he's still with us.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, I think, hopefully. We hope you're doing well. Also, thank you to Ryan Court for not listening to the show today for.

[Luke Burbank]

All the free mentions. Hello and welcome to Top Story. Well, Andrew, this is why you play the game. Because you do not know who is going to win the game or what stories we're going to actually get to. Because I said at the beginning of the show quite confidently we are not getting to this Shirley Temple King story. And yet here we are.

[Andrew Welsh]

So you don't want to hear about my socks, huh?

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, wait a minute, Andrew.

[Andrew Welsh]

That's fine. Just do your. Do your.

[Luke Burbank]

I want you all to know, I sense that Andrew was going to try to steal a joke for me today is why I was very rude to him in the pre show meeting and I cut you off so rudely. Let's go back to. Let's.

[Andrew Welsh]

No, let's.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you have the heart music? Get the heart music. No, no, Honestly, I. I'm more interested in this than cocktail kid. Get. Can you get the harp music?

[Andrew Welsh]

Heart music? We can get heart music, but we.

[Luke Burbank]

Need to get you a harp music with nail polish.

[Andrew Welsh]

See here. Come on.

[Luke Burbank]

It was about, I don't know, 40 or so minutes ago in a studio just like this one when I dialed up on the Riverside program and found out that our account had been deactivated because of Andrew's mean, mean feedback. No, I looked into the Riverside camera and I saw Andrew's studio, but no, Andrew. And I assumed it was because, as you've mentioned before, sometimes just dialing up, it's like you mentally entering a bookstore. Sometimes it.

[Andrew Welsh]

Sometimes you just. You feel like you're in a room by yourself which prompts you to need to use the restroom. Even if that is a virtual room.

[Luke Burbank]

Sometimes nature calls you. And I assumed that that's what had happened and I was here primping and getting pretty for the broadcast. And then you came back and sat down and then mentioned in passing that the reason you had been absent from your post was because you were changing a sock, which I thought was hilarious because, like, a, we can't see your socks and B, it seemed like the kind of thing that you might not get to at all in the whole day. You might just at night when you take the sock off, think, okay, I'm gonna toss this one or something. But it was so uncomfortable that you decided I can't have this sock on for doing this podcast.

[Andrew Welsh]

Well, I mean, I can gut it out and I have. It was just that, like, I was there. I'm put. So here's the deal. This is a lot of detail, but I come in here, I dial up, and then I put on my socks while I was waiting for you to dial up. And I have these, like as we've. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Luke Burbank]

You come in barefoot?

[Andrew Welsh]

I walk into my studio, I'm carrying a pair of slip on shoes and a pair of argyle socks. And I sit down.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, now this.

[Andrew Welsh]

I was running a little bit late.

[Luke Burbank]

This is big news. But is it because your clothing is downstairs?

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, I'm very close to like where all of my clothes are. They're right outside this door. And where your shower is and where my shower is. And I have lockers in my bathroom where I keep all of my, like, clothes like that. I have a closet around the corner where I keep my pants and shirts that I hang up and everything. So it's all right down here. This is like. And today I was running very late. It was so hard to get out of bed this morning. And so I took a shower and I wanted to make a new intro for today's show. And so I was. I was mad at myself for not allowing enough time to do that. And I raced in here thinking maybe I could still. I had like four minutes before 10. I was like, maybe I can.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe Luke's still unconscious.

[Andrew Welsh]

Maybe Luke is still just saying hateful, hateful things under the influence of medical drugs. Anyway, so, yeah, so anyway, so I came in here carrying drunk.

[Luke Burbank]

Tongues are sober thoughts, Andrew. That's all I'm saying.

[Andrew Welsh]

I've never heard that before. I heard an expression the other day that I really wanted to remember and I already forgot it anyway, so, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't have a Camaro.

[Andrew Welsh]

Look it up. Google it, folks. It's a good Google.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't have a Camaro.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, see that?

[Luke Burbank]

Google, David Sedaris. I don't have a Camaro.

[Andrew Welsh]

So anyway, yes, I come in here at like, what, two minutes before 10 or something? We dial up at 10. So I'm carrying my shoes and socks like you said. You can't see it if there's any. If you and I were doing this in person, I'm not Walking in here barefoot, but, like, you can't see that I'm. I like to keep these guys undercover as much as possible. So anyway, yeah, that was what I was doing today, but then I put on my. My socks and I realized one of them has a hole in the heel. Now, here's some. Here's something about me is I wear exclusively argyle socks. I mean, except for at the gym. I guess I'm going to wear, like, white socks or something. But, like, I wear. For years and years and years now, I wear argyle socks.

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't know that about you.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, it's funny, you don't look at my feet enough.

[Luke Burbank]

Probably you've asked me not to, and I've offered you vast sums of money.

[Andrew Welsh]

To see them meet me at the baseball diamond. So. And now I'm Colegard.

[Luke Burbank]

You can look at my feet.

[Andrew Welsh]

I. I like it nasty. Anyway, for years and years now. And so I. Now, unfortunately, I buy it at the big online store that I shouldn't be using, but I've sort of locked in to these packs of argyle socks that do me well. And I just kind of. When the socks eventually start to wear down a little bit, I'll buy a new pack of these things, right? So I have a bunch of argyle socks that are like, maybe, let's say. Can you put on the poll. Can you use the word varietals when talking about socks? I was gonna say, like, maybe I have, like, I buy a pack and maybe there's, like, I don't know, between four to six different.

[Luke Burbank]

I need to know more about the terroir of these socks.

[Andrew Welsh]

So they're all argyle, but different color combinations or whatever, and they come in these bags. And of course, yes, I have my favorites, but when I just buy a new bag to replace the old one, I'm always buying the same brand. So I actually have kind of a system now. First of all, sock storage. Let's start here. This is a new thing for me. Back in the day when I was holding my socks, I would do that thing where you just, you. You line them up together and then you fold the neck of the socks down. Right. The top of the socks down over each other, and that's how you keep them together. At a certain point in recent years, I stopped doing that because I felt like it was stretching the elastic too much. So I started doing these things where I was just taking the two socks and then tying them in a knot to keep them together.

[Luke Burbank]

Really?

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah. Very. Not satisfying, though. And keep in mind, I keep my Socks, not in a drawer, but in a little square locker that opens up. And then I would open up my locker and I'd have all these just socks tied together, just kind of shoved in there. I didn't like that. So now, Luke, as Genevieve says, it's like a men's boutique in there. I now take my two socks.

[Luke Burbank]

Pins.

[Andrew Welsh]

Nope. I roll them. I roll them up. I take two socks. I lay them down, you know, so that they match up. And then I take from the toes and I roll them tightly so they're like little. I don't know, they're like little rolled up little appetizers. Profiteroles. Exactly. They're like those Swiss cakes, the thing.

[Luke Burbank]

That they put me down with yesterday.

[Andrew Welsh]

Right, right. But you. Can you picture it, though? So, like in a men's store, by.

[Luke Burbank]

The way, I don't think that's what a profiterole looks like.

[Andrew Welsh]

No profiterole is like, that's any kind of a sweet treat. Right? Like a little afternoon.

[Luke Burbank]

But I was trying to think of those like. Like a Danish butterhorn at Starbucks.

[Andrew Welsh]

I don't know. I've never seen one of those before. But the fact that you're using the word horn makes me think that we're not talking about the same thing here. I look up Danish butterhorn.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, the one from Starbucks, though, you can't look up a general one because they don't look like Danish butterhorn. Starbucks not. I've also never had.

[Andrew Welsh]

No, no, that's not right. I mean, a little bit like. I mean, a little bit like.

[Luke Burbank]

Have you looked up Swiss butterhorn?

[Andrew Welsh]

I think maybe it looks like that. If it's a roll. It is, but it's like the. Well, the pictures I'm seeing, it's more like. It's pointy on one end and it's more like a. I'm hungry again, you're. Eat my socks.

[Luke Burbank]

Calm down. Eat my socks.

[Andrew Welsh]

Calm down. Poop box. But yeah, so I roll them up, and because they're equally wide, they don't end up being like one of these federals, but like, they're TGI them up.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't think we have about 20 minutes more of content in this week.

[Andrew Welsh]

But, you know, like at a men's store, if you're buying a socks. In fact, I think I got the idea because they come rolled up in the package with little cardboard bands around them to keep them in place. Right. Well, I don't keep the bands, but I do just roll them up and then set them carefully into my locker. So when you open up my locker, I have a whole bunch of pairs of socks that are like all of the same brand, various color combinations, but rolled up together and sort of stacked. And it's very neat. I've started doing this, I don't know, in the past few months or so and it's improved my life. Like literally opening up that locker and not just having a bunch of tied up socks together, but instead a nice looking, like, display of rolled up argyles is very nice. It pleases the eye. But the reason I'm going into so much detail about this is because of the system I have for when one of my socks gets a hole in it. As you might know, Luke, usually one sock gets a hole, not both at the exact same time. Now the other one, if you're wearing them together, the other one is probably not long for this world either. But you can still get some more life out of it. Because I'm constantly buying the same brand socks. When a hole is in one, I throw that one away, but I take the other one and I launder it, of course. And then it's like a single guy again. It's a lonely guy, as we say. But I tie that with the other lonely guys. And so like today I had a gray on gray argyle sock that was a new lonely guy. So I went in, I grabbed a new pair of socks to put on. But then I wanted to see what are the other lonely guys I have right now? Do I have a gray on gray lonely guy I can match this guy up with? The answer, sadly, was not yes. I had a red and black one and I believe a blue and gray one. So I was.

[Luke Burbank]

Ever worked. Have you ever had.

[Andrew Welsh]

Hell yeah. I've been buying these socks for years.

[Luke Burbank]

So sometimes a lonely guy will be matched up with its partner.

[Andrew Welsh]

Like I said, there's only like, like maybe five or six tops. But I think, let's just say five. There's only like five different kind of styles of these socks. And. And I've been buying them for so long that one wears out. Okay, I'll keep this other guy and then eventually another one of that kind will wear out. And then it's like, hey, go to the lonely guys pile. And there they are. We have a match again. So right now I have three satisfying. Oh, it's great. But today it wasn't satisfying because I added a new lonely guy to the pile.

[Luke Burbank]

But the hole was in the heel of your sock.

[Andrew Welsh]

True.

[Luke Burbank]

So it would have been uncomfortable to walk around. Like you wouldn't let's say I have this one Adidas sock that has a hole in it, but it's like, it's kind of midway up my ankle. It's right. It's below where the Adidas logo is on these socks. And I don't enjoy when I pull it on. I feel like I'm gonna have a bad day. But I have yet to throw this sock out for some weird reason.

[Andrew Welsh]

You got a hole that is a. Above your heel. So it's not on the bottom of the sock?

[Luke Burbank]

No.

[Andrew Welsh]

How did it get worn out from running? It must be from running. Does your shoe hit you?

[Luke Burbank]

These aren't ones that I wear for running. And, and also my. This would be. I'd have to be wearing like a lace up Converse and running or something. It's. It's further up than I think. It's just poor. It's probably poor craftsmanship. It's just probably a cheap sock. It's weird. For all the money that I sort of, you know, profligately spend on all manner of things, socks are a weird one for me that I just don't buy new socks that often. And part of it is because I do the exact opposite of you. Most of the socks that I wear every day for, like, you know, just my normal daily life are all black and featureless so that they're totally interchangeable. The only socks I have that have any specificity to them are the ones that I wear for jogging. They're made by Nike. And for some reason, Nike decided to create a left sock and a right sock, which was so dumb. I don't think that there's any difference. I mean, they would tell you there's some performance aspect. Like we've, you know, we stitched this together in a way to make your right foot work really well with this sock on. I think it's probably marketing bs. But the socks, one of them says L and one of them says R. And I am too lazy to match the L's and the R's. When I'm like, you know, doing my laundry and rolling my socks up, I'm just doing that thing that you described in your earlier days where I just grab these two socks that I know are both the same Nike running socks, and then I roll them together and I make a big pile of them. I, by the way, keep all my running socks in a separate drawer from my regular socks. Like, I have the drawer for the socks that I wear to go out in my life, and then I have the, the drawer that's like, athletic stuff.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, because they'll talk. You want to keep those separated.

[Luke Burbank]

Those are very different. I don't like my athletic socks. Bullying my regular socks.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, no, that's fair.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, and so the. And so when I pull, like, one of these, you know, pairs of these running socks out, I have done. And now it's actually intentional. I intentionally do not give any mind to their pairing because I love it when the left and right come up. And what happens is we get on a pattern. We can have a bad week or a good week, because if the first time, like, on Monday, I pull it out, and it's two rights now, I know they've made a wrong. There's some lefts out there. I mean, think about the math of it, right?

[Andrew Welsh]

So these are not paired up at all. It's just a bunch of Lucy's.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, they're. They are paired with other socks, but I have not taken the time to look. If they say L or R, I have not gone, like, I have a left sock here. Where's the right sock? Let me pair them. I just. It's a big pile of Nike socks, and I just grab one of them, and I grab another one, and I. I roll them together, and I toss it down. I roll another one. I roll another one. There's, like, maybe five or six pairs. But what happens is, if I get lucky, and, like, if in. You know, if. If early on, I'm getting a left and right, like, if I just accidentally pair them up properly, then it sets them all in order, and they're good. But if I get off track, if I accidentally grabbed a left and a left the first time, like, on Monday, I'll go, okay, I take the first sock. I go. I sit on my little chair in my living room, take the first sock, and I pull it on. It's either right or left. And then it's like an internal drum roll, and I look at the. I turn the other sock over, and if it's the other foot, I'm just like, dude, this week is gonna be sweet.

[Andrew Welsh]

But if it's the same foot, you just power through, and you wake up. I power through.

[Luke Burbank]

I tell myself it doesn't matter. I tell myself that there's not any actual important difference between these two socks. Like, in other words, there's nothing wrong with me wearing a left. A sock mark left on my right foot. I tell myself that it doesn't matter.

[Andrew Welsh]

But I. I'm actually slightly more. I mean, that's interesting, but I'm also more interested in this black sock situation, because you said you're the opposite of me. If you get a hole in one of your black socks, but all of your black socks are identical. You're not throwing away two socks when you get a hole in one. You must have a weird.

[Luke Burbank]

I also don't get that many holes in my socks. Like, I think it's. I think there's something about. Argyle socks are probably a little more delicate, don't you think? I mean, they're a dress sock, basically, right?

[Andrew Welsh]

They are, yeah. You think that? Yeah, I guess they are probably a little. I didn't think about that.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, because you've got a whole system, and I can't tell you other than this weird, random thing in one of these Adidas socks, which. The story on that is just every time I pull it on, I think, what am I doing with this sock? I got to toss this. And then I never do. I wear it all day because you can't see it. It's under, like, you know, where my jeans come down or whatever. So. And it's not, like. It's not huge. It's not like a quarter size. It's. It's. It's. It's smaller than a dime. So it's not really. It's not really doing anything other than. It just makes me feel like I'm a cartoon.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, right.

[Luke Burbank]

Like a cartoon vagabond from the. Whatever is the hole.

[Andrew Welsh]

And I'm sorry about this, but is the hole on the inside of the ankle?

[Luke Burbank]

It's on the inside. So imagine just like, a black athletic sock, but it's not. Here's the thing. It's not like a sweatsock. It's not the kind of sweat socks that we grew up wearing for, like, gym or whatever. It's because of the athleisure. Ization of everything in our life. Everything, you know, I just wear. They're a black sock, but they are made by Adidas. And there is a little, tiny Adidas logo kind of stamped on them. They're black. The Adidas logo is white. And that's at the top of the sock. And these come up, like, midway up my. Above my ankle, midway up my shin. Okay. And the hole is near the top underneath the Adidas logo. It's not doing anything other than it's kind of unsightly. But it's just weird that I don't throw this sock out. That I've just been. I've been putting up with this for probably a year now.

[Andrew Welsh]

I am on Amazon right now. Because I was going to order some more socks. While we're talking about it, I'm like, you know what? I actually need a new bag of these things anyway. And this is sort of. Well, I don't know. I find this interesting, but maybe this should have just been an internal thought. But you know how Amazon bought Whole Foods a long time ago? Like, what has it been, five years now or something along that.

[Luke Burbank]

I bet it's been 10. Andrew.

[Andrew Welsh]

Whoa. Yeah, I know that.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know, it's probably been a.

[Andrew Welsh]

While because I'm not usually a whole food shopper, but when I lived in Roosevelt, there happened to be one almost directly across the street from me, like three blocks down or something.

[Luke Burbank]

And so 2017, I was going there.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, about five years. Oh, no, no, no. More than. More than that. So anyway, I. And so when it was very close, I would go there from time to time, grab lunch, grab. Grab a six pack of beer or something. I didn't. I never did my, like actual grocery shopping there. But all of that is to say I just went on Amazon and I wanted to look at my previous orders. That's something I will do when I'm re. Stocking something like these socks we're talking about. And they've introduced something new, which is now they're showing me my previous orders at Whole Foods. The other day I was at Guitar center buying a new little recording device. That's pretty sweet. And that's in the Whole Foods parking lot. The same parking lot where a handsome young man once yelled a construction worker. Real polite car.

[Luke Burbank]

We know it. That is the stuff of legend.

[Andrew Welsh]

Stuff of legend. And now it is. Including your whole food. There's. Here it is. A six pack of Bodhisattva IPA is now part of my Amazon history. Boy, I need to. With this.

[Luke Burbank]

Articles that you read in the Washington Post or articles you didn't finish. Would you like to. Hey, would you like to finish reading this article in the Washington Post or.

[Andrew Welsh]

Editorials that were spiked by Jeff Bezos? Articles that I would have. Editorials that I would have read in the Washington Post if the publisher weren't a bootlicker. Happy Friday.

[Luke Burbank]

Big weekend plans, Andrew?

[Andrew Welsh]

Oh, you can't. You gotta tell me when. Yes, there's big weekend plans. Of course there are, but I gotta. I had that ready at the beginning of the show. Big weekend.

[Luke Burbank]

Socks.

[Andrew Welsh]

The biggest one I've ever.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you've just done your big weekend plan. You bought the socks. Now what else?

[Andrew Welsh]

I'm buying socks.

[Luke Burbank]

That's.

[Andrew Welsh]

No, that's on there. Well, I mean, I might. I might go see a show with my buddy tomorrow, but I got to say, I'm really looking forward to the Super Bowl. We should talk about our super bowl plans now. Actually, I think I am. Now that I don't have to. Now that I'm not allowed to buy the $80 Fubo package, and I'm just watching it for free. I've rescinded my.

[Luke Burbank]

Now you're gonna spend $80 in food and drinks at an establishment somewhere?

[Andrew Welsh]

No, I'm going to. The thing is, when Genevieve was being so gracious about me potentially signing up for Fubo, I was like, oh, great. Well, maybe we could even have. I was feeling. I was feeling, like, generous myself. I was like, well, maybe we can have people over. Well, we'll buy this thing, and we'll make it worth your while by having people over. But now that. But we've put the kibosh on that, and I'm just watching a free feed via Tubie of the Super Bowl. I'm like, well, then I don't have to have people over. I can watch the super bowl the way it was intended by myself.

[Luke Burbank]

It's famously not an event that brings people together.

[Andrew Welsh]

I don't know. Now that I say that, I do realize it sounds crazy. But the thing is, it's a very short turnaround before Avivs, and I have to talk about the commercials. And so I really like to, like, not just catch as catch can. And the last time that I went to watch the super bowl with a bunch of people, it was fun, but it was really frustrating, too. Like, I was sitting as close to the TV as possible, like, trying to will the sound of other people out, because people are just talking. I mean, it's a social event, but I'm trying to pay attention both to the game. I think I care about the game probably more than most super bowl watchers in my circle, and I care about the commercials way more. Even though people are like, oh, this is a good one, they'll laugh, but then they'll talk over the avocado one, and I'm like, dude, you gotta understand. I gotta talk about the avocado one. Like, even if we don't love it, like, I want to watch it, because I'm not, like, tivo ing this whole thing. It's kind of a pain. So, like, I. My plan is probably to sit home the ideal thing. And this sounds so unfun, I realize, but, like, for the podcast, Genevieve likes to be watching the game with People So she can sort of also report on like sort of the reaction in the room. Whereas I can be a little bit more like kind of tuned into what was actually happening and like being taking even like maybe even more specific notes on the commercial. So I think it's like the medical.

[Luke Burbank]

Staff going towards the things that actually fit in with their personalities and lifestyle.

[Andrew Welsh]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Genevieve is the party correspondent and Andrew is the I'm going to study these commercials correspondent. Yeah.

[Andrew Welsh]

And you know, I mean. Yeah, well, I don't want to be rude about like, I gotta say, like, if you were in town and you're like, hey, do you want to watch the Super Bowl? I'd be like, yeah, because I think that you and I would be tuned into the same thing. You know what I mean? I feel like we'd be locked in on it the same and like, whatever. And I don't think that that is an intensity of watching. Not that you're like super intense, but I just think that you'd have more interested in the game. You would understand. Like I just, I give up too much control if I'm trying to actually pay attention to something. If I'm in a big group of people where the super bowl is the excuse but you know, but more of a casual experience.

[Luke Burbank]

I have told Becca that if the Seahawks make the Super Bowl, I cannot watch it with her brother and sister in law. Do this really fun super bowl party every year and make all this great food and it's a big family event. It's really fun. And I've said I can do this as long as the Seahawks are not involved. If the Seahawks are involved. I'm not watching the super bowl in a group environment with people that are moderately interested in it. I'm getting together a ragtag group of misfits from the Los Angeles underground and of fellow obsessives. And we're watching it, you know, somewhere where nobody is at the end of the game, as once happened after we threw that interception in the New England game. Why is everyone so sad? Like, I cannot. But more than that, it's just I. It needs my complete and total attention.

[Andrew Welsh]

And you need to protect the people you love from yourself. Precisely.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, really, it's.

[Andrew Welsh]

Honestly, there's a lot going on.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't. They can't see me like that. It's not going to be good.

[Andrew Welsh]

I do want to ask you about your situation though, because are you literally going to be in an airplane heading to jolly old England during.

[Luke Burbank]

And not just any. Yeah, I'm not Even going to be in the good old US Of A. Any longer. That's the part where it gets really dicey. So my big weekend plans are. We are doing an event tomorrow night for Livewire at the Hotel Crocodile. Thank you.

[Andrew Welsh]

The biggest one I've ever had.

[Luke Burbank]

Be the biggest one I've ever had. We're doing a Livewire speak Easy tomorrow night, the Hotel Crocodile. You can get [e-mail] Please come. Food, drinks. It's gonna be really fun. Emmy Pop. Then I get up at the crack of dawn on Sunday and go get on an airplane and fly first to New York and then change planes and then get on a British Airways flight and fly to England. And that's going to be like basically my first flight's going to be landing when the super bowl starts.

[Andrew Welsh]

Because it starts.

[Luke Burbank]

Wait, wait, no, it starts at 6:30. Right. Usually east Coast.

[Andrew Welsh]

I have to double check that, but that sounds about right. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

It's usually about 3:30 on the west Coast. So I think actually literally the British Airways flight will be taxiing and it will be taking off. And I'm very curious if I can because, you know, I have this FUBO thing on my phone. And my dream scenario would be that the WI fi on the airplane is even though they tell you this is not for streaming, sometimes it does work. And it would be amazing if the WI fi was powerful enough that I could just watch it while flying. That really make the flight go by quickly.

[Andrew Welsh]

Do you know that I bootlegged a Browns Ravens game on a plane one time? Because usually that the strength of the signal is not streaming. But I remember it was during or.

[Luke Burbank]

Illegal streaming for that matter. Yeah.

[Andrew Welsh]

And it was during one of those. I must, I think I was flying for work, which is probably why I had the laptop. Maybe we were flying into like St. Paul or something and I. Because I remember taking a photo of my. It was great. I had a cocktail and I had the Browns Ravens game on. And it was when the Browns were sort of like, I think it was Baker Mayfield years and they were starting to get good before getting bad again. And so anyway, I remember like I think they won this game or something. It was pretty. It was pretty great. And boy, yeah, that makes the time go by quickly.

[Luke Burbank]

No, British Airways does not offer live television on its flights, but it does have an inflight entertainment system. That's what the Internet is telling me. This would be the one time where actually being on JetBlue would kind of of rule because JetBlue has live television. I Don't understand why this is not more the case. By the way, there's a family of deer walking past the door of the Madrona Hill studio.

[Andrew Welsh]

How many?

[Luke Burbank]

I'll give you one. And I think there's a baby. Well, baby like a juvenile. So it's just like a mom and mom and her kid. JetBlue has live television, at least the last time I flew them, which was kind of a long time ago now because I'm such an Alaska boy. And it's amazing. It's live television. Apparently it is so much better than their entertainment package, in my opinion. There's something about, like, I've flown cross country on JetBlue and just like watched a basketball game and there's something. It just. It's just like your cable TV you would have at your house. And for some reason that to me is. Makes the time fly so much more than. I'm gonna go through a selection of movies and things. I don't know why it matters, but it's like, again, I don't want to watch the news now, of course, because it's a rolling nightmare. But the idea that you could just be like watching MSNBC and, you know, doing normal life TV watching while you're hurtling through space, it really, really makes the time go by. I'm surprised every airline doesn't do this at the gym.

[Andrew Welsh]

Like, basketball is a tough one for me because I've never watched any basketball. So, like, I don't. It just doesn't look like anything to me. You know what I mean? Like, literally the only thing I understand is like points accumulating and balls going through the hoops. And I understand there's a two shot and a two point shot and a three point shot and foul.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, there's, that's basically, there's slam dunk.

[Andrew Welsh]

Three pointers, there's slam dunk three pointers and you get noodle arms, like some of those players.

[Luke Burbank]

Real noodle arms.

[Andrew Welsh]

Real noodle arms. Like, that's all I know. And so, like, obviously you can watch. You can maybe get a little bit of buy in. It's kind of like. Well, I like the team with the red jerseys. I mean, now with all the talk of, of, of, you know, the, the Lakers, and I was gonna say the Nuggets, but it's not the Nugget. The Mavericks. The Mavericks. Like, I got to say, yesterday, I think in passing, I saw that there was a Mavs game on followed by a Lakers game, and I was like, oh, okay. Well, at least when I'm looking up, I know the names to look for and a couple of the faces that I recognize. But having said all of that, basketball is a tough nut for me to crack, but almost any. Did I say baseball? I meant basketball. Any other sport at the gym, I can get into it. Softball, like anything that I understand the rules of. Even if it's like the. If it's like the Little League games or whatever, I can find myself invested in one of the teams and it just. Nothing makes time go by quicker than watching other people compete.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I remember, like I said, watching, I think it would have been basketball. But imagine this. Yeah. Just you're just watching a football game that you already wanted to watch and you happen to be getting to your destination. It's like the perfect crime because. And again, I've. Now I've said it three different ways so I can just shut up about it. But I think we get on that airlines, there should be more airplanes where you can just watch live tv. So I don't know what the status is going to be when we take off. It would involve the WI fi being strong enough that my phone, the FUBU on my phone. But I am going to record it. This is the other thing that's great about this system, Andrew, is I can on my phone just go into my little. You know, I have the app. I can go into the app and I can just tell it to record anything that I want. So I'll record it and then when I land in England, which will be like seven in the morning England time, then I've got all day because you and I aren't actually dialing up until like 6pm where I am. I'll just. I can watch it on my laptop in the hotel room in England if I need to. So I will watch it one way or the other. But. But it's unclear if I'll be able to enjoy it in real time, which was kind of a weird thing. I. I didn't even realize that, that I was scheduling it like this, but I guess it is what it is.

[Andrew Welsh]

It is kind of weird. I. I watched half a Super bowl in Costa Rica one time. It's funny, I don't remember Super Bowls that well, but I remember this one because it was that Patriots Atlanta game where Atlanta was up like by I think a thousand points or something like that. And then. Oh yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And then they came back. I think it was 28 to 3.

[Andrew Welsh]

I think that's what I said. But anyway, and then. So I remember that. But it was very strange because we had just arrived in Costa Rica. But. But. Oh, and you know what we were doing? We had our friends Nick and Rosen actually do the super bowl podcast for us that year. I think it was before we introduced the idea of the Boli Awards. But Veeves and I were like, we can't not do our podcast. But we had accidentally scheduled our big international trip on super bowl weekend. And so I think we landed and got to the resort on time to go watch the Super Bowl. And they were having at Secrets, the resort, and we watched it communally, but.

[Luke Burbank]

We went, hey, is that Colegard?

[Andrew Welsh]

We went into this place. He's always here. He's always on the outside of the.

[Luke Burbank]

Fence looking around a corner at Secrets.

[Andrew Welsh]

Hey, get out of the hot tub. Get out of the hot tub. But we went into the. I don't know if I don't have any equivalency for this in my life other than I saw a commercial for some casino, like angel of the Winds Casino or something. Is like having a Super bowl watching party. I'm sorry, a big game watching party or something. And they showed a shot in a commercial. And it's like this sort of stadium seating. And this is what it was like in this resort. We walked in this room and it was like this stadium seating that was maybe half filled with people. And, like, servers would come out and, like, take your order, but there was just a big screen TV in the front. And that's how we watched the Super Bowl. It was very surreal. Like we had just landed in this country and then we just decided to do the most American, like, just basic thing in the world.

[Luke Burbank]

Is there a McDonald's around here?

[Andrew Welsh]

That's why I'm picturing, like, you going to, like, England and landing and then just hightailing it to, like, Little America or whatever part of town is in London. London's Little America, where you go in and they just have, like, burgers that are served on donut buns or something like that in the super bowl and whatever they call the super bowl there.

[Luke Burbank]

The bathroom is called the bathroom and not the loo.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, right, exactly. They call trunks trunks. It's amazing. Amazing.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm. You know what, Andrew? We need to wrap things up. Because if I say there's an American bar in London, it's. It's everything America is. I immediately start spiraling. I start wanting to go dark and talk about all the. I almost made a joke about, like, the horrible things about this bar, because it's how I process things.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah. Yep, yep. Let's get out of here.

[Luke Burbank]

So let's just. Yeah. On this Friday, let's spare everyone that and. And just slide down that dinosaur, my friends. All right, that's gonna do it for this today's show and also this week of broadcasting. Thank you for spending the time with us. We'll be back here on Monday with more imaginary radio. I will be in Little America. I'll be phoning in from Little America, AKA England. And I'm excited about that. So we'll have a big, big show on Monday. Please join us for that. In the meantime, have a great weekend. Take care of yourselves. Go, Eagles. And please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew Welsh]

And good luck to all. Power out.