#4401 Tottenham Two-Step

Summary

TBTL Episode #4401: Tottenham Two-Step Release Date: February 12, 2025

Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh
Location: London, England

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1. Navigating Medical Procedures: Colonoscopy Prep and Experiences

In this episode, Luke and Andrew delve into the often-unspoken topic of medical procedures, specifically focusing on colonoscopy preparations. Luke shares his personal experience with the procedure, highlighting both the physical and emotional aspects.

• Luke’s Experience:
  "I had an 80,000-tonne oil tanker incident off Western Australia, but my colonoscopy was a different kind of adventure." ([05:02])
  Luke discusses the rigorous standards of oil tankers as a segue into his own procedure, emphasizing the importance of compliance and preparation.

• Andrew’s Inquisition:
  Andrew probes deeper into Luke’s colonoscopy prep, questioning whether Luke received acknowledgment for following instructions properly.
  "Did you get an atta boy for your colonoscopy prep?" ([05:02])

• Shared Anecdotes:
  Luke recounts how nurses often do not comment on the cleanliness of the procedure, leaving him wondering why he didn’t receive specific compliments.
  "I did not hear any complaints about the situation, I took that to mean it was at least tolerable and maybe even good." ([05:58])

2. Responding to Listener Feedback and Criticism

The conversation shifts to the reception of their previous discussions on colonoscopies, where Andrew reveals receiving mixed feedback from listeners, including some critical emails.

• Andrew’s Dilemma:
  Andrew shares receiving an email from a doctor concerned about inaccuracies in their discussion, which he finds perplexing since their intent was to promote awareness.
  "I did not say anything about undermining the need for colonoscopies. I never did that." ([20:09])

• Addressing Misinterpretations:
  Both hosts speculate that the critical listener may have misunderstood their message, emphasizing that their experiences ultimately serve as endorsements for undergoing the procedure.
  "At the end of the day, you're like, I’m so glad I went through this." ([22:22])

3. The Intricacies of Digital Privacy: Cookie Policies in Europe vs. the US

Luke and Andrew navigate the complexities of internet privacy, particularly focusing on cookie consent dialogs in Europe compared to the US.

• Luke’s Frustration with EU Cookie Policies:
  "Every time I'm trying to do something, the Internet is blocking me and saying, 'Agree to these terms. Are you okay with these cookies?'" ([30:07])

• Andrew’s Insight:
  Andrew concurs, noting that the increasing prevalence of cookie prompts has become a common nuisance, often leading users to default to accepting all cookies for convenience.
  "I always assume I just say all cookies because it just seems like the easiest path." ([31:27])

4. Indulgences and Dietary Habits: A Deep Dive into Cookies

The hosts transition to lighter topics, sharing personal stories and preferences related to cookies and snacking habits.

• Andrew’s Cookie Cravings:
  Andrew recounts hosting gatherings where assorted cookies were consumed voraciously, leading to his current Pavlovian aversion to certain cookie aisles.
  "Now every time I walk into Sars, I have literally found myself walking by them twice and eyeing them without quite stopping." ([41:02])

• Luke’s Cookie Conundrums:
  Luke shares his struggle with hotel cookies, which are typically crumbly and unsatisfying, contrasting them with his fondness for soft, chewy varieties.
  "They're always very kind of crumbly... I just polished those off." ([35:57])

• Discussion on Frozen Treats:
  Both hosts explore the merits and drawbacks of freezing sweets like cookies and candies, debating whether this practice enhances or detracts from their enjoyment.
  "Reese's Cups right out of the freezer... I just want to raise its core temperature to the temperature it would have been if it was in the cupboard." ([51:00])

5. Culinary Adventures in London: British Pubs and Fish & Chips

Luke narrates his first experience visiting a British pub in London, juxtaposing it with the Americanized versions he's familiar with.

• Expectations vs. Reality:
  "I thought it was gonna be the best fish and chips I’d ever had, but it was pretty much an okay place." ([46:58])
  Luke expresses disappointment with the consistency and ambiance of British-themed pubs abroad, feeling they lack the unique charm of authentic establishments he's experienced in the US.

• Cultural Misalignments:
  The hosts discuss how British or Irish pubs in non-traditional locales often feel generic and fail to capture the essence that makes authentic pubs special.
  "Every Irish bar I knew followed exactly the same pattern... It was like there was a similarity to all of them that made them feel the opposite of what I liked about dive bars." ([71:06])

6. Soccer Fandom and Cultural Nuances: The Liverpool vs. Everton Match

Towards the episode's conclusion, Luke contemplates attending a high-stakes soccer match in Liverpool, grappling with the cultural and logistical challenges associated with European football fandom.

• Ticket Troubles and Fan Dynamics:
  Luke discusses the difficulty of obtaining tickets for a Liverpool vs. Everton match, noting the psychological barrier of potentially being caught in fan rivalries.
  "The tickets are very expensive, and they tell you these tickets are for Everton people or Liverpool people because the threat of real violence exists." ([85:00])

• Navigating Fan Interactions:
  Andrew empathizes with Luke’s apprehensions, sharing his own limited exposure to soccer and the fear of inadvertently offending passionate fans.
  "My ignorance on the subject and my concern about the wrong thing to say is what scares me." ([90:11])

• Cultural References and Humor:
  The duo lightens the mood by referencing pop culture and comedic strategies for defusing potentially awkward sports conversations.
  "Here's your perfect way to diffuse any kind of conversation... 'Can you believe it?'" ([95:37])

7. Listener Donations and Community Appreciation

In alignment with their daily show format, Luke and Andrew take moments to thank their listeners and donors, recognizing the support that keeps "Too Beautiful To Live" running.

• Acknowledging Supporters:
  "Thank you, Meg of Atlanta, Georgia... Thank you, Bill Sonnenberg of Boise, Idaho... Thank you, Kendall Dodd in Bellingham, Washington." ([54:22]-[58:57])
  They humorously navigate the specifics of donor contributions, blending genuine gratitude with playful banter about their relationships with donors.

Conclusion

Episode #4401 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live offers a blend of personal stories, critical discussions, and humorous exchanges. From medical procedures and digital privacy woes to indulgent snacking habits and cultural misadventures in British pubs, Luke and Andrew provide listeners with an engaging and relatable experience. Their contemplation of attending a European soccer match adds an intriguing layer, highlighting the challenges of navigating unfamiliar cultural terrains. Throughout the episode, notable quotes and candid conversations underscore the hosts' chemistry and their ability to turn everyday topics into entertaining narratives.

Notable Quotes:

• "I am a social media brand ambassador." — Andrew Walsh ([01:20])
• "Can you believe it?" — Luke Burbank ([95:01])
• "Everybody needs to let this whole anal poop thing go. Please. Education this important." — Andrew Walsh ([25:49])

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Join Luke and Andrew in their next episode as they continue to explore life's quirks, embracing both the beautiful and the absurd.

Transcript

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Thanks for coming in. It's a great pleasure. Thank you. This ship that was involved in the incident off Western Australia this week. Yeah, the one the front fell off? Yeah. Yeah. That's not very typical. I'd like to make that point. Well, how is it untypical? Well, there are a lot of these ships going around the world all the time and very seldom does anything like this happen. I just don't want people thinking that tankers aren't safe. Was this tanker safe? Well, I was thinking more about the other ones. The ones that are safe? Yeah, the ones the front doesn't fall off. Well, if this wasn't safe, why did it have 80,000 tonnes of oil on it? I'm not saying it wasn't safe, it's just perhaps not quite as safe as some of the other ones. Why? Well, some of them are built so the front doesn't fall off at all. Wasn't this built so the front wouldn't fall off? Well, obviously not. How do you know? Well, because the front fell off and 20,000 tonnes of crude oil spilled into the sea, caught fire. It's a bit of a giveaway. I'd just like to make the point that that is not normal. Well, what sort of standards are these oil tankers built to? Oh, very rigorous maritime engineering standards. What sort of thing? Well, the front's not supposed to fall off for a start. And what other things? Well, there are regulations governing the materials that they can be made of. What materials? Well, cardboard's out. And no cardboard derivatives like paper? No paper?

[Luke Burbank]

No.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

String?

[Luke Burbank]

No.

[Unknown Speaker 1]

Sellotape Rubber? No, rubber's out. They gotta have a steering wheel. There's a minimum crew requirement. What's the minimum crew? Oh, one, I suppose.

[Andrew Walsh]

Tbtl.

[Luke Burbank]

Hello. Did you say hello?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I said hello, but that's close enough. I am a social media brand ambassador.

[Luke Burbank]

For myself from my own account and.

[Andrew Walsh]

For a third party account as well, which belongs to my dog who's a.

[Luke Burbank]

Pet, who I do also brand negotiation deals for him as well.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I do DJing also for party.

[Luke Burbank]

And events and corporate and personal and.

[Andrew Walsh]

Public and I do also certified. I'm a lash tech also, but I haven't really done that in a while.

[Luke Burbank]

But I'm still certified to do it. And I also just do negotiating brand deals from my own account as well. And commercial acting as well, as well as modeling and some acting as well. I don't even know what that means.

[Andrew Walsh]

No one knows what it means, but it's provocative.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, all right. Hello, good morning, Good morning and welcome everyone. To a Wednesday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, you're gonna love the liff and tweedle out of this.

[Luke Burbank]

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, let's do it.

[Luke Burbank]

Coming to you once again from somewhere near the west end of London, England, United Kingdom. It is, as you are hearing this, a Wednesday. By the time this is getting out onto the Internet, I'm probably already on my way to Liverpool for the next leg of this adventure. But right now we need to focus on episode 4401 in a collector series, Let the fun begin, and the fact that having now finally visited an actual British pub, the first time in my life, I did not exactly have the experience that I was expecting to experience. And I think it's because of something that we can explain here. This is why we can't have nice things involving the Americanization of the idea of the British pub. We'll get into that. Also, when I get to Liverpool, there is the open question of if I should actually, my plan right now is to come back on the kind of in the early evening, 7:30 or so. But should I instead change my train ticket and stick around until the wee small hours of the morning so I can attend a Premier league soccer match where you play to win the game. I was looking up tickets. It's Liverpool and Everton and I was looking up tickets. And first of all, they're very expensive, but also they, they tell you that these tickets are for Everton people or these tickets are for Liverpool people because I think the threat of real violence exists if they put the people together. And so is that really where I want to just be rolling solo? I don't know. We'll talk about it with this guy, the longest running cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ship. It's a tough but rewarding job, one that takes years to move into. And yet he has. He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh boy. I want to jump right into that soccer conversation so badly. But really quickly, I have a question. I need an update on your life that I think we have somehow, I don't know, just sort of passed up. It was such a huge narrative last week about you prepping for your colonoscopy. You had your colonoscopy late last week. You did give us, I believe, the update of how it all went and it sounds like it went pretty well. You might have even said your results were good. Because I know you mentioned a single polyp that they had to get out of there. Having said all of that, I don't think you told us the most important part, which was did you get an atta boy from for your colonoscopy prep? That was the most important thing to you? Not that you're a healthy middle aged man, but that you followed all the instructions properly and that you were acknowledged.

[Luke Burbank]

For that in a roundabout way, in a round a hole way, Andrew. But in a way that. Listen, you're the one that brought this up. I'm allowed to answer it in whatever disgusting way I choose. What I didn't get was what the very frequent response was when I was talking about this with people, which I talked to you about, which I kept forwarding you updates like so and so. Just said that they got a real compliment from there. How is it that I still don't know what the person who does this procedure, I know they're a doctor, but I don't know if they're a proctologist technically or something else, an internist of some kind. What I didn't get was them telling me, oh my God, amazing. Like it was amazing in there. But here's why I think it was still acceptable. Because from one of the nurses, I found out that they very regularly just don't do the procedure when they get in there.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wow.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. That is a not uncommon kind of outcome, which is you get in there and you just look around and you go, we can't. This is just too, too much going on in here. And so we cannot do it. So the fact that they were able to do the procedure and I didn't hear any complaints about the situation, I took that to mean I was, at the very least, it was, it was, it was tolerable and maybe even it was good. And just. My particular doctor likes to focus more on my radio career than on how clean my colon was. I don't know, but I will, but I will say that at least four people told me that, that they were complimented as to how clean things were. And I didn't get that specific compliment.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, you just reminded me of something. When I was young, I wanna say third grade, we had a class project. We had several of these assigned to us. During my grade school years, we had a class project where we had.

[Luke Burbank]

Tell me this did not involve the human colon.

[Andrew Walsh]

It involved several human colons and a big spinny wheel.

[Luke Burbank]

The 1980s were such a different time.

[Andrew Walsh]

I went to school in the country. It was just a totally different place. We had an assignment to make a diorama, and I think it was based on a book that we had read. I don't know if we all read the same book or if we had read different books, but we had to make a diorama. And the diorama that I made. Luke, you want to talk about thinking outside the box? I'm still proud of this. And I. It might have been my dad's idea, but I know that in this case, I definitely am the one who implemented this. I'm the one who created this. You know how a diorama used to take like a shoebox and you'd set it on its side, right, Kind of that be horizontally, I guess, sort of like a movie screen. And then you would build a three dimensional little scene inside of it. Well, the book that I had read. I'm going somewhere with this, if you'll allow it. I. The book that I read in.

[Luke Burbank]

Let me put on my barrister's wig.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you. Wait, no. You're a lawmaker. All right. So the book that I read involved a couple of kids. They got up into some misadventures, right? And at some point they get trapped or locked or imprisoned in some way in a little shed somewhere. I don't know why, it sounds dark. It's not that dark. But in their adventure, somehow they end up getting kind of, I believe, stuck in this shed, right? And so instead of making like a scene inside the box where you could see a little shed in the woods or whatever, we turned the box into the shed by putting it instead of horizontally, it was vertical. And I used popsicle sticks. And I put popsicle sticks all over all four sides of the box, right. Including the opening.

[Luke Burbank]

But then in the opening, real little Abner style. And then what I do is kind of Log Cabin Y vibe.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I had these little rubber hands that had come off some dolls I had. Now that I think about it, too. Oh, this is. I think they might have been hands off those dolls. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I think they were, like, still trying to figure out.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was the 80s. It might like some sort of like Native American dolls or something too, which I shuddered to think about, like, how that was depicted. But I just remember I.

[Luke Burbank]

You don't like it when I Tomahawk chop.

[Andrew Walsh]

I had some. Some toy where the hands kind of came off or something. And the toy was. Basically, we were done with it as children and because we're pretty woke and anyway, so I had like two sets of these small rubber hands and I kind of glued Those. So it looked like somebody was inside the box. Like two kids were inside the box. And you could see. I think maybe I used some googly eyes and these hands kind of looking like they were coming, you know, kind of hanging on the slat of the shed. Like they were, like, kind of peeking out from being trapped inside there. Right. So what does this have to do with your colon? Well, I was very proud of this. It was. It's now somewhere inside, they found an.

[Luke Burbank]

Entire diorama in there.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's inside you.

[Luke Burbank]

From my class project in third grade.

[Andrew Walsh]

Not unlike Gatorade. It's in you. No, I was very proud of this. I think, literally, it's thinking outside the box. I remain proud of it to this day. But here's why I'm the most proud of it, because I believe this was for a class where we had a very stern teacher. And I think this teacher specifically kind of was especially stern towards me. I don't think she liked me very much. I could be wrong about that. And she asked Luke if she could keep the diorama to show future classes, because she had a small collection of dioramas that were so good, she kept them as examples.

[Luke Burbank]

She wanted to put it in the cooperstone of these dioramas.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's exactly right. The Cooper suit. And so I remain very, very proud of that. And all of this is to say. And by the way, you sort of just unlocked that memory. I think I've told it on the show before, but I'd forgotten about it. But you wanted that of your colon prep, essentially. Right? You wanted somebody to say to you, to say, I want to.

[Luke Burbank]

Can we. Sir, can we have your colon? Can we hang your colon on the wall like a pelt?

[Andrew Walsh]

And you didn't quite get that as.

[Luke Burbank]

A message to everyone who comes in here that this is the gold standard of how one prepares. And I surely did not get that. And in fact. Well, Andrew, if we're going to expand on this, this is a little. How do I put. This is a little specific. So if you're squeamish, you know, I would say maybe turn your podcast device down for a second.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, I'm doing that right now. I'm doing that right now. Tell me when you're done. Text me when you're done.

[Luke Burbank]

Bobby, I need you to co. Andrew's turned off the line. No. Something that the nurse. Because I was afterwards. I wasn't directly asking for specific feedback about the condition that my colon was in, which I think is what the strawberry alarm clock did that Right.

[Andrew Walsh]

I just checked in.

[Luke Burbank]

Is that Jeff? It's either Jefferson Airplane or the Strawberry Alarm Clock.

[Andrew Walsh]

The original was. What was that? Rolling. It's the. Goodness gracious. That's. It's like. Basically, it sounds like Bob Dylan, but it was them doing Bob Dylan, and it wasn't the Rolling Stones. It was the. I'll look it up.

[Luke Burbank]

It's okay. It's checking what condition my condition was in or something. Is that what they said?

[Andrew Walsh]

That's the song. But what is the. Oh, you know what? I'm also confused. You know what? I'm confusing this with the song that's in Pulp Fiction, too. Just checked in to see what condition my condition was in. Is from the Big Lebowski. I was thinking of it as the Pulp Fiction song or the. No, no, not even that. What is the song where. What is the movie where they all wear ties? The first.

[Luke Burbank]

That's. That's Pulp Fiction. No, no, that. That's Reservoir Dogs.

[Andrew Walsh]

Reservoir Dogs. Remember, there's some song that is playing, I believe, during a pretty brutal scene where he sort of. He's got a guy tied up in the chair. They play a very.

[Luke Burbank]

Stuck in the middle with you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Stuck in the middle with you.

[Luke Burbank]

I get that Jerry Rafferty tune, which we know because the Steven Wright in the. In the. The soundtrack of Reservoir Dogs, it's K. Billy supersounds of the 70s that Steven Wright is the DJ of. So he's like this Beatles esque Jerry Rafferty tune, I think is how he sets up the. I could be confused.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's Steeler's Wheel. That's Steelers Wheel. That's why I was saying rolling before.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, isn't that Stuck in the middle with you?

[Andrew Walsh]

Stuck in the middle of you Stuck in the middle of the U was Steelers Wheel. And that's why I said rolling. I was confusing like Rolling Stones.

[Luke Burbank]

You said Jerry Rafferty esque tune. Or maybe. Which is if. If that's what he says. That's also hilarious. That anybody would be like, this sounds like a Jerry Rafferty song. That's a reference point.

[Andrew Walsh]

So anyway, I really messed up this. I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in. Is Kenny Rogers and the First Edition, which is a great name for a band, the First Edition.

[Luke Burbank]

But Kenny Rogers had like. I only know of Kenny Rogers as, like, you know, Kenny Rogers, country guy. I don't know of him as the. As the. Just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, he's young. It's 1967. So I, you know, he probably had some country influence. Maybe.

[Luke Burbank]

He was 45, I think.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

He would live to 170, I think so.

[Andrew Walsh]

So anyway, what were we talking about?

[Luke Burbank]

What? I was not explicitly trying to get the nurse to tell me if I had, you know, if I'd gotten the Andrew Walsh treatment, if I was, you know, selected in. If I was in the ring of honor, so to speak. But. But she did say to me, you know, I said. I said, yeah, I was really nervous about. Or I think. I think the way I actually, again, this was at the moment when I really was pretty. If there was a time when I was a bit loopy coming out of it, it would have been this moment, because I was only in this waiting area after the procedure for the maximum would be five minutes with the. With the nurses. So this one, I would have been the most kind of affected by it. But I believe what I asked was what? Like, how did I phrase it again? I was mildly drugged up, but essentially I asked, like, are you ever able to not do the procedure or is there ever an amount of stuff in there that means they can't do the procedure? And she says, oh, yeah, yeah, all the time. Actually. She goes, a small amount we can kind of wash out, but sometimes we'll find, like, corn in there. And I was like, wow, that's vivid. And also, are you trying to tell me there was corn in there?

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, that is so specific. It's relatable.

[Luke Burbank]

They find a kernel of corn and they can take it out. Apparently, that's not a game changer. That's not a. That's not a night stopper for them. Like, they can. That's not enough to stop the process. She also said that.

[Andrew Walsh]

But wait a second, though. Can we talk about the person who has corn in there, though? Like, did they read maybe they ate.

[Luke Burbank]

Corn three days out when they thought they were allowed to eat corn? Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, you. So it's a remnant. I. I thought you were talking about somebody who's kind of like, well, it doesn't matter. I'll just eat a corn on the cob before my colonoscopy.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, I don't know. I was just hoping it wasn't me. And if it was, that was explainable.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's true.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, corn is famously one of those things that you. You might consume and forget you consumed it until later on. It's pretty unpretty, unaffected by the. By the digestive tract.

[Andrew Walsh]

Really?

[Luke Burbank]

Really?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. But I was getting mad. I don't know if I'M communicating. Well, I was getting mad on your behalf there because you're kind of like, you're avoiding all this stuff. You're keeping tomatoes off of your reasonable salad three days out.

[Luke Burbank]

Loving the living tweedle out of tomatoes lately, I never didn't know what I had until it was gone.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's what they say. So I'm sorry. So my reaction might be outsized. And also, I wonder if we're miscommunicating. But my anger there is not at you, but at somebody who thought, like, they're gonna scoff the law so much that they're kind of like, yeah, I don't know. They say, no seeds or nuts. I'm just gonna have one. I'll just have one. Corn on the cob. The night before my colonoscopy. Oh, I'm so defensive about this all over. I know. We don't wanna talk about.

[Luke Burbank]

I appreciate it.

[Andrew Walsh]

We don't wanna talk about.

[Luke Burbank]

It's rare. You get my back.

[Andrew Walsh]

Super commercials. It's three days after the super bowl now, but there was one Bud Light commercial with Shane Gillis and Post Malone. I don't know if you saw that, and I didn't. It's about this. They have, like. It's like these. They're presenting as two, like, boring, like, suburban guys just hanging out in their driveway. And then they turn it into a cul de sac party eventually. It's a very, like, classic Bud Light, like, let's turn this into a party. It's actually kind. It's actually pretty funny. It's got some good lines in there. But all of that is to say it begins with one of them just being like, you want to go fishing tomorrow? And then I think it's Shane Gillis who says, I have a colonoscopy tomorrow, and they have a cooler of beer between them. I'm like, you can't. If you have a colonoscopy tomorrow, you cannot be like, get away from that cooler. And then they're smoking meat and stuff later. I'm like, either you were lying about having a colonoscopy later, or you didn't read the literature that comes with this, or you're just screwed. They're turning you away, Shane.

[Luke Burbank]

Not to mention what kind of damage to the colonoscopy preparation industrial complex is Bud Light doing with that commercial?

[Andrew Walsh]

That's a good point.

[Luke Burbank]

Letting someone even think that it would be acceptable to have even one Bud Light that's very much not recommended because you will be dehydrated. And I will tell You. I was. I didn't, of course, drink any alcohol, but, like, I was weirdly dehydrated going into the whole thing. Because you have been going to the bathroom a lot. I was drinking as much water as I could, but, like, I had chapped lips, you know, which is a sign that your body is not hanging onto enough water. And then you have to stop drinking any liquids. Two hours before the procedure, I walked in there like a California raisin. And really one of the first things I wanted to do when it was all done was A, get my plaque for colon of the year, and B, have some water. I was parched. So, yeah, the idea that they're using that I have to have a colonoscopy tomorrow as a sort of a thing that denotes I've got to keep it together tonight. Tomorrow's no fun. It's like, buddy, this started seven days ago. If you're taking it seriously, this is not a tonight problem. You're in the home stretch of this. If we're being realistic about the procedure.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, I'm gonna take a moment here also, and we should catch up on your adventures in grand old London. That's not what they call it.

[Luke Burbank]

Jolly.

[Andrew Walsh]

The jolly I knew. Although it's around there, pretty new also.

[Luke Burbank]

That's the thing. I'm notic. Some very cool architecture, some activated outdoor spaces that are really quite intriguing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Before we get into that, let me slap back at the haters, though, because I was gonna say we'll get to that in a moment. But what I wanna say was I got two emails and they were both addressed to me. I'm being actually kind of serious here that I found somewhat off putting. Well, no, one of them I didn't find off putting. One was from a doctor who works in this field and felt like during your journey of this, that we got a lot of things wrong. I find it hard to believe that you and I got scientifically wrong. That's not usually our mo. We're like, kind of experts on everything.

[Luke Burbank]

No scientific evidence to support that.

[Andrew Walsh]

But as we go through. As we go through, you know, our life adventures and we learn things and we communicate them and we talk about our feelings and our journeys. And I think the audience usually knows that we're not getting everything right. I do think when you're talking about getting screened for colon cancer, it's something that is very, very important to people, and so people want to make sure that we're getting it right. I truly, fully understand that. And I did get a note from a doctor who said, I'd love to, like, set the record straight. I could send you a bunch of bullet points or have a colleague on the show.

[Luke Burbank]

The things that I supposedly got wrong.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know about that, but the things. Here, let me talk about. No, I don't think this person actually said what they got wrong. But that was a doctor and that was fine. But then I got an email. I'm not even gonna look it up. I'm not gonna look it up right now. Cause I don't wanna get too into the weeds on this. And I'm sure this is somebody who listens to our show. So this is a lovely person who supports us in many ways, I'm sure. But it was an email directed directly towards me. I don't even think you were copied on it. And she was very angry at me for, I guess, apparently, like, downplaying the need for colonoscopies or something. That was, like, so not anything I've ever said. Like, I have. Even during your entire journey on this, I haven't said anything about my own feelings on it, other than I plan on getting one soon. And I'm embarrassed that it's taken me this long. And the next time I see my doctor, I'm getting back on the schedule and that I'm not interested in doing any procedure. Like, I'm not going to do the cologuard thing that we talked about. I am going to do the colonoscopy. That's literally all I've ever said about it. So I don't know what I said that made this person so mad. That felt like I was, like, undermining the need for colonoscopies. But I can guarantee you I did not do that. I never did that.

[Luke Burbank]

I think we were. If anything, I was sort of talking about how leading up to it, I sort of felt like, man, did I really need to do all this? This is kind of more of a hassle than I expected, et cetera. But then if this person listened to the end of the story, I was also like, wow, I'm so glad I did that. Because they did snip something out of me that by all accounts is probably benign. But that wouldn't have shown up in the. So I feel like at the end, it was still a ringing endorsement.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was a procedure. It was a huge endorsement. I mean, that's what I thought when I read it. And I'm like, maybe this person's behind, so they haven't gotten to the end of the story. And maybe they're hearing you talking to Chris Hayes or the day before where you're starting to have regrets. But also this is our journey. This was you going into it. You were, you were, you were doing everything right. You were talking about it. I'll bet you there are people out there who have gotten also their like, you know, like kind of process started. You know what I mean? Because I know that I started thinking about this seriously when literally I heard somebody on the radio. Actually, no, I think I'm confusing that with COVID I remember getting a Covid booster shot literally when during a baseball game somebody said, you really got to get is done. And I just got my yesterday anything. Gary Hill Jr. We'll follow that guy off a hill.

[Luke Burbank]

Actually, I would as well.

[Andrew Walsh]

I would. I love that guy. But no, for real. So sometimes, like just talking about this stuff does motivate people. And I just sort of felt like you talked about this whole journey. Part of that emotional journey for you, not me, was that you started to say, am I going through all of this? Like, because it is a big pain in the ring than what you had to go through. And. But at the end of the day, you're like, I'm so glad I went through this. It was good. They found something. They took it out. Like, I feel like last week's shows while taking us on, like, you know, it had some narrative arc, but was like a PSA for people our age to get a colonoscopy. And it's motivated me to like, try to get the process moving sooner than later. And then I get an angry email from someone saying, how dare you? Like, this is an important issue. Stop, like undermining the need for colonoscopies. I'm just like, why am I receiving this email?

[Luke Burbank]

I'm guessing that it has to do with something that we were talking about last week as well, which was this idea that Hollywood is making programming that is designed to be less interesting so that it can be part of the two screen experience. And we were bragging about how we're on the vanguard of that. And a lot of people listen to our show kind of with half of an ear. They're kind of coming in and out of the room. My guess is that this person was kind of minimally tracking what we were doing, heard something that made them feel a certain kind of way, and then maybe that day or a different day, dashed off an email. But if they had sat with the sort of RCA dog style of intention that we ask of the listeners, which is to sit cross legged and Cock your head towards the Victrola. If this person had done that, they would have understood that. You're right. This was the end of this story. Was a full throated endorsement of getting this procedure if it's available to you. Because of all. I feel great about having now had it and knowing that the indications are that that part of my body's in okay shape and I can sort of rest easy. Hutch Rhymes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Listen to this. Actually, I couldn't help myself. I had to look it up because I saw it came in at night, I think, so I just saw it quickly and I just sort of deleted it. But I was just like, what? So I'm going back. And again, I know that this listener is probably listening. I'm not going to use their name, although they wrote it. They wrote into a show and signed their name. I won't read the whole thing, but it says, grow up. This is important. Everyone needs to let this whole anal poop thing go. Please. Education this important. I don't know if I'm misreading this or if it's a typo, but it says, I would contribute to you guys. But this iffy shit, it gets hard to do. This is big. I'm just like, okay, like, you don't have to threaten me with like, not, not everybody can or should contribute to the show, depending on what their situation is.

[Luke Burbank]

But, like, let's not use it as a weapon.

[Andrew Walsh]

What did I. You're not going to donate to the show. And like, and I need to grow up because what did I say? Other than I'm getting mine scheduled soon? Like, please, I would like this person.

[Luke Burbank]

To find the section of tape that. Where you said, you know, I don't want something in that part of my body or whatever. They're like. It sounds like they're also kind of framing it as like, there was a certain sort of homophobic quality to it or like.

[Andrew Walsh]

But I will say, Andrew, we said nothing of the sort.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I mean, we're one of the most fomic.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wait, that doesn't make sense. No, I'm not joking.

[Luke Burbank]

We're one of the most homo shows out there.

[Andrew Walsh]

Neither one of us said anything that. I don't even think we came close to that.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I mean, that's not how we're. That's certainly not the energy of this show. That it's like, I don't, you know, I mean, I think I may have said something like, the doctor went to a place no one else has gone before. But it's, you know, I Don't think the way we frame Star Trek jokes.

[Andrew Walsh]

It'S just like a phobia.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, it's not like, yeah, leave. Nobody's coming near that part of my body. Like, that's just not really the vibe. I would be curious if this person could actually identify, like, really identify and submit to us the section of the show, the either recording of it or the transcription of it where you were saying that. And if anything, they might have misheard something I was saying and misconstrued my point or something. But, yeah, I just don't remember us doing that, whatever that person is. And, you know, they were triggered. Maybe they've been through some stuff in their life or in the life of someone they love. So it just feels really close to the surface.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I would just say, you know, think twice before you dash off kind of slightly. And then the part that I'm a little bit, like, wondering about is the I would donate to your show. But this makes it real hard. It's like, okay, so you're not donating, which, like, you said, totally fine. Everybody needs to do whatever is right for their bank account as it relates to this show. But, like, I'm sorry, but if you're in the we're not donating category, then saying, and now. Now I'm really not gonna donate. It doesn't hit me that hard because you're already not donating. So keep doing what you're not doing and we'll be fine.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And I mean, just for the record, while we're here, like, I don't treat anybody differently or consider any kind of feedback we get differently based on whether or not you donate to this show. Some people donate, some people don't do.

[Luke Burbank]

But it's weird to bring it up in that way. Like, I was about to buy you. I was about to buy you a real pretty diamond ring, Andrew. But now, why would I. Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Anyway. But that's not part of the show.

[Luke Burbank]

I was just telling you something.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, did you get it at the gift shop outside the Supreme Court? Anyway, I did not expect that to get so, like, kind of cruel on my. Or maybe, like, emotional. I just sort of just remember this, like, four days ago, I was like, that's right. I got this. Like, why are people coming after me? I think it is also people sometimes. And I'm shocked by this. Kind of confused which one is you and which one is me. At least maybe by name or something. So I. The only way I sleep at night is thinking that that was sent to you. It.

[Luke Burbank]

I Mean, it's very. First of all, I haven't checked my Gmail since I got. Which is the program we use to get to our email account. So if you email me lukebtl.net I think I have to log in through the Gmail portal, which is famously troubling for me. And I figured, I'm abroad. I'm gonna wait till I get home. So it's very possible that they were trying to talk to me about that. I think really the takeaway from all this and the worst outcome is that I dropped a Sleep Easy Hutch Rhymes reference that you couldn't even hear because you were so triggered. I mean, how often does that happen on the show?

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm sorry, Swoozy Kurtz.

[Luke Burbank]

I could not have told you she was in that movie.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm pretty sure that's a Swoozie Kurtz vehicle. Well, it's obviously a Steven Weber Hutch Rhymes vehicle. Steven Weber. But I think Swoozie Kurtz is. I just love saying Swoozie Kurtz. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what, Andrew? This actually brings me to something I wanted to talk about with you. I'm now trying to deep dive on. You're right. Very. You're very right. It is Swoozie Kurtz. And I'll give you the classic celebratory bell.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, no, please don't. Why is. Why does your bell sound get so worse? When you crossed the ocean, what happened?

[Luke Burbank]

I was trying to look up more about Sleep Easy Hutch Rhymes, which, by the way, I called Rest Easy Hutch Rhymes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, did you? I didn't notice that.

[Luke Burbank]

I just want to note that. I want to honor that. I want to. I want to be accountable to the listeners.

[Andrew Walsh]

Grow up, Luke.

[Luke Burbank]

But as I'm trying to go find out more about this movie to see if Swoosie Kurtz is in it, I am hitting yet another wall with the way the Internet works here in the UK and I'm guessing maybe a significant portion of Europe, maybe just here, which is, am I going to accept these cookies or not? It is in constant, constant. Will you take these cookies to be your lawful wedded cookies? And it's very different than my experience in the US where maybe it's because I hit the thing that says remember this for the day, and it remembers it all day. Or maybe it's because our rules are more lax over there. But it has become kind of annoying to me where every time I'm trying to do something, the Internet is blocking me and saying, scroll to the bottom. Agree to these terms. Are you okay with these cookies? And then here's the weird part. One of the options, one option is accept all cookies and the other option is only necessary cookies.

[Andrew Walsh]

You see that in the States though, right?

[Luke Burbank]

Do you?

[Andrew Walsh]

Here's one. Because I just.

[Luke Burbank]

When you do only necessary cookies, now it's really manage cookies. And then you hit that and then now you're in some nightmare world of trying to figure out what cookies you need and don't need. Is my experience in the US Like, I don't know how to manage the cookies.

[Andrew Walsh]

I haven't even messed with that. I just always hit all. Except all.

[Luke Burbank]

See, I was not hitting all for a long time because I thought I want fewer cookies, I want things to be tracked, I want to be tracked less. But in the US after it was like manage cookies. If you hit manage cookies, they know that you don't understand how to manage your cookies because it's a bunch of weird stuff. And also a lot of the websites in the US are set up so that if you try to manage your cookies and go, I don't want your ads, they will then just not let you look at the page over here. There is legitimately a only necessary cookies button that works. So I'm just smashing that all the time. But I just, I don't. Yeah. Which is kind of, I guess overall it's an improvement because I do have to click on two things. But at the end of the second click, allegedly, I am only getting cookies from these websites that are necessary to me, whereas it's not a realistic option in the US in my experience.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. I don't know. I haven't played around with it. I'm just always like all. I just, I'm just trying to get in and out of that site as quickly as possible. But there is an increase in US sites now doing that. Right. I feel like it's like one out of two sites I go to. I have to like first go through some like pop up about cookies.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm surprised to hear that you were an all cookies guy or are an all cookies guy because that feels just like to me, that feels like you're just handing over the keys to the kingdom. I don't even know what that looks like. But it's like again, maybe I was just fooled by the illusion of managing cookies, but like all cookies feels just like a real one night stand with this website that, you know, we don't know where this website's been before. We don't know its life. And so over here, again, the annoyance is that it's constantly asking me. But the upside is I can say only necessary cookies. I can't believe they give you all cookies and only necessary cookies as two side by side options when only necessary cookies works.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I guess that's get rid of.

[Luke Burbank]

All cookies at that point because nobody's choosing it.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's a really good point. And I just always assume I just say all cookies because it just seems like the easiest path.

[Luke Burbank]

It seems like the most cookies.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Well, first of all, it seems like the most cookies.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a noted cookie enthusiast.

[Andrew Walsh]

I have been eating cookies lately. Here's the deal with me.

[Luke Burbank]

Really?

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you want to know the deal with me? I'll tell you what I'm eating. I am eating Janice, I don't think.

[Luke Burbank]

Of you as a cookie guy.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I'm not. When I go to the store, I don't ever buy cookies or really sweets, really. It's just not. I mean, trust me, it's not because I'm living some virtuous life. I'm just buying other terrible food and I'm putting it in my body. But usually more savory stuff, right? I'm not a huge sweets person, but when it's in the house, like, I just can't stop myself. And it's always late at night too, which is what they ask me, are you eating a lot of sugar before you go to bed? And I say, of course I am, to quote Tim Heidecker, or said Eric Wareheim. But anyway, when this in the house, I lose all self control. And Genevieve had some people over a few nights ago for like a clothing swap thing. She'll do that or a closet swap or something. She has all of her friends over. Everybody brings clothes that they don't want or wear anymore, but it's in good shape or whatever. And then everybody kind of goes home with everybody else's clothes. When I put it that way, it sounds sexier than it is. I don't know. I'm allowed to be here for it because there's a lot of people changing clothes and stuff, and they don't want me creeping around, which is fair enough. So anyway, all of that is to say she had some people over, but it was on a real snowy night, so I think, like, fewer people came than she was expecting, which means fewer cookies were eaten than expected. And now those are my cookies. And one of them is, I think I like low quality cookies too, because one of them is just like a plastic tub of chocolate chip cookies. And if you ask me what kind of chocolate chip cookies I like. I'm glad we're here. If you were to ask me what kind of chocolate chip cookies I like, I would say I like something that is more chewy, that if you bend the. If you kind of bend, the cookie will bend before breaking. Like, I want a soft chocolate chip cookie. These are not like that. These are the kind that are really kind of crumbly. And they're still hitting right though. They're like the way you can mitigate the crumb situation is you put the whole thing in your mouth at once. They're like mouth sized. And I am cookie monster. I am just like shaking my head. Crumbs are going all over the place and I can't contain myself.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, when I get into that situation sometimes is at the. In a hotel like I'm in now where it's late at night. This might have been more. More towards the times when I was having more adult beverages. But, like, they never have any good, like, soft batch cookies in the hotel room. It's always gonna be what you're describing. Like, they're generally gonna be a little smaller than like the typical size cookie. And they're gonna be mostly the dust of mummies.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, there's something you might find at the bottom of a pyramid. But when you're in the mood for that and when you just kind of like surrender to the process and you realize these are, are, you know, we don't go into the war with the cookies we want. We go into war with the cookies we have. And. And you kind of get into a mode with them. They can be really good.

[Andrew Walsh]

So here's one other cookie anecdote I have for you. And this is becoming dangerous because I had. I think I told you I had some people over a couple of weeks ago. We're playing darts and just hanging out, and I wanted to get some snacks. And so by the way, quick update on my local grocery store that I had a sort of contentious relationship when it first opened, because I was very excited that it was opening. But then I learned that I can't take my backpack in there, which was a problem for me because it's. So I like to walk there, grab some groceries, put in my backpack, and walk home. Well, a kind listener who signed their name anonymous sent me a very small backpack that I can. That I. It's like, actually it holds a lot, but it's very thin, compact backpack that I can literally put in my coat pocket, walk in there, and then buy my groceries. And then you Know, load up the backpack and head out. And everybody's happy with that scenario. The thing is, that's not even necessary anymore because they don't have a daytime security guard. I haven't seen the guy who is all up my ass. Sorry, I guess we'll have to mark this one as explicit. Who is all up my ass about.

[Luke Burbank]

Get over it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Grow up, grow up.

[Luke Burbank]

Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

About wearing a backpack into the store. Like, now that I don't have that sort of even mental block of going there because I'm scared I'm going to see my arch nemesis, the security guy. Now that it's just like, just freedom is free to me now. No matter what Harrison Ford said during the super bowl, freedom is free. I just go in there and I love this grocery store. It is so huge. It has a section for all of the American brands that I would want. You know, I told you when they were first opening, I'm like, if this is going to be like a discount store, I don't want to be getting like, I don't know, Scott's cat litter or something. Actually, Scott's might be a real name.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, it would work great on your lawn.

[Andrew Walsh]

Doug's cat litters, maybe. But no, they have like all the brand names I want. But also because the store is like three times the size of a normal grocery store, they have huge international sections. Like, I could buy a like, like 30 pound sack of rice. Luke. Throw it over my shoulder and take it down to you when you get home.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you know that I have at my house, not 30 pounds, but it was probably like a maybe a 10 to 15 to 20 pound sack of rice. And I am working my way through it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Why did you. Was it like a Costco thing?

[Luke Burbank]

I think it might have been Costco. And I was like, I want to start making rice. And. And to the surprise of everyone, chiefly myself, I've been making rice and I've been working. It's so shelf stable. And like, there's the satisfaction that I get from pulling this ridiculously large basmati rice, like, sack that came through the Strait of Gibraltar or whatever to get to me. And then every time I make more rice with it, I'm like, you're not. You didn't just throw out this 20 pound bag of rice. It's very satisfying.

[Andrew Walsh]

The ones I'm talking about, like, like the whole store isn't like this, but there are sections you can go to for various things. And like, they have this one section where it's literally like this size Speaking of Scotts, it's like this rice is like literally the size of a bag of fertilizer. Like that you would like, kind of heft up at Home Depot and then get in your card. Right? And it's like those.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that's the kind I have.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that the kind you have? It's amazing.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, I mean, this kind of woven, like the material, it feels a little bit like an IKEA bag.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, yes, yes, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

It's kind of nylonish.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yep, yep. And they have like, even for like just freezer food, you know, like just quick air fryer food or whatever. Like, it's expanded my boundaries. I buy like these kebabs now, these spicy kebabs of chicken and lamb and stuff. I know you don't go in for meat, but I'm just saying that, like, it's like, it's the best of all the worlds I wanted, which is like, for the most part, the prices are fine. They're not. I would not call it a super saver situation. Despite their name. Ironic, but they do have almost everything I need for like a really good.

[Luke Burbank]

They do have a communicable disease though, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

SARS. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Focusing on the SARS.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, yes. And they put H1N1 out of business. That they were next door. But anyway, anyway, so I want to give you an update on that. But here's where it's a dangerous game and where cookies, accepting cookies comes in is when I had a few folks over here, I went over there to buy a bunch of snacks and stuff, which is kind of fun because I can go into the regular aisle, like the American aisle and get regular Fritos. Or I can go to the Mexican aisle and get like Mexican flavored Fritos, which were good flavor wise, but they're a different consistency, which I didn't like.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, wow.

[Andrew Walsh]

They're a little bit foamier, sort of, if that makes sense. Just a little bit. You know how a Frito is like.

[Luke Burbank]

Really crisp, dense and oily?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. These are not as dense. They're a little bit.

[Luke Burbank]

It's like an event horizon of extruded corn. And that's how it should be.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's what it says on the back of the bag. But also in this aisle with like kind of the Mexican chips and stuff are cookies. And I don't know that this is a Mexican brand necessarily, but they're just like the classic cookies that we grew up with, where it's like they're little cream sandwiches and one of the cookies is white and one of the cookies is black, but they're the size of an Oreo and It comes like 30 in a box or something, or like a little plastic tray or something like that. I bought those for this little get together we had. And then I'm sure people ate five of them. And then I probably polished them off in the next few days. And now every. I am Pavlovian about this. Every time I walk into SARS now, Luke, I have literally found myself walking by them twice and eyeing them without quite stopping, like cartoonishly. And I'm not joking because I want to buy another bag, but I just know that if I just continue to keep them in the house, they will continue to disappear. I have no willpower. Like, the only willpower I have is in the grocery store, not in the home.

[Luke Burbank]

Is it because they actually are really tasty and good or because, like, once you're eating them and once you've just kind of like changed your personal standards for the cookie? Because, like, for instance, my dad brings over all manner of weird treats to my house when he's working at my house, you know, and they're all. It's, you know, there's nothing consistent about his snacking other than it's always sugary and it's whatever grocery outlet was had thrown behind the building. And so there are some of these. Are these. These crackers or these, I should say cookies, but they're very kind of only lightly sweet. And I think they are also maybe from Mexico. I think they. That the packaging looks like it's in Spanish or something. And the first time I ate one of them, I was like, I don't even know if this is a cookie. It's sweeter than a cracker, but it's not as sweet as a super sweetened cookie. But then there was one night where I was really hankering for something like this, and I just took these and I started dipping them in peanut butter. And it was the perfect thing to dip in peanut butter. It was a great peanut butter delivery system. Them. And then somehow the sweetness of the peanut butter and the kind of mediumness of the cookie, anyway, it made a whole thing. So I just polished those off. But I also have not purchased more of those. I guess my, my question though really is, is it the fact that you've reframed your expectations of these cookies and that's why they're so good to you, or they did legit just, like better than if you bought some like Pepperidge Farm Sausalitos or something?

[Andrew Walsh]

No. Whatever cookie you're talking about is not what I am talking about at all. And I. I have found what's the best way to reach you over there in England. Should I text this to you?

[Luke Burbank]

Sure.

[Andrew Walsh]

I haven't found the exact brand, but I found the exact kind of cookie I'm talking about. And I think I confuse things by saying that these are Mexican. I don't. I just think that coincidentally this particular brand happens to be in the Mexican aisle and might originate from there. I could be wrong, but these are.

[Luke Burbank]

Just like bimbos or anything.

[Andrew Walsh]

These are just the classic kind of cookies that you and I probably had at school parties when we were a kid. They're the size of an Oreo. They're like one cookie is beige, one cookie is dark like an Oreo with that same Oreo cream. But they're not Oreos. They're just like kind of off brand. But they're not non sweet or odd in any way. They're just like delicious. You can just pop them and like for me, I don't.

[Luke Burbank]

It's taking forever to cross the Atlantic.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sorry. You know, it's the problem.

[Luke Burbank]

The problem has got across. It's got across the continental United States and then the Atlantic.

[Andrew Walsh]

The problem is I. It's stuck with your bags at sea Tac. Unfortunately, it looks like I'm sat in this. Now hold on.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm going to have British Airways issue a tracking number for it. Got it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Once you see this, you're going to probably have another name for these that may be more. Listen, because I just sent you some generic Amazon brand of these cookies, but I don't know what you would call these growing up. Maybe that'll help listeners understand better. But they're just like school party cookies.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. They're calling them duplex sandwich cookies by way of Amazon. Hand baked by Jeff Bezos, by the way. Yes. And they just. Yeah, they're just Oreos.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's pulling out an oven, he's wearing a little.

[Luke Burbank]

They're just Oreos, except instead of being all of the like kind of typical outside of an Oreo, they alternate between like a more vanilla, I guess flavoring. So it's like each one, as you've already said, is like one side is what we think of as Oreo Ish. Or chocolate and then vanilla.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

And then with some cream and vanilla.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's what I'm guessing. Yeah. Now this is not what you're talking about when you're talking about dipping things in peanut butter. These don't need to be dipped in.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I Don't even know what those things were. And I guess. I guess what I mean is I went on a journey with it where like, the first time I ate one, I was like, how are they even legally, how are they even allowed to call these cookies? Because they're so lightly sweetened. They're almost like a communion wafer or something. And then because there was no other cookies in the house, I revisited the topic at some other point and was like, okay, I can kind of hang with this. And then every time I'd go have another one over the course of a week, I'd be like, I'd get more into it. And then eventually when I was hitting it with that peanut butter, I was like, oh, this is actually really good. So I was wondering if. Because again, you could be buying. What are those? Actually, these are not soft, but there's those British sounding ones that are very popular. People like them, starts with a T. Something. Da da, da. You'd think I would know.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's a chocolate, not Toblerone.

[Luke Burbank]

Like there's a. There's a. Listeners are throwing their phones right now. There's a particular kind of like British cookie that's a chocolate chip cookie, but it's actually known for being crispy. But it's in the part of the aisle where the Pepperidge fried. I think of the fancy cookies as being anything that is stacked, like, instead of being side by side along a horizontal plane, they're stacked on top of each other on a vertical plane. And there's possibly a little like Elizabethan neck collar in between the two tiers of the cookies.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, yes, I know what you're talking about. Yep.

[Luke Burbank]

I was raised to believe that like the Pepperidge Farm cookie was roughly $1,000. Like we would never have those. But I was like, that's the highest form of cookie in the store.

[Andrew Walsh]

I did buy some of those around the holidays. I think we were going to somebody's house maybe on New Year's or something. And again, here's the thing. It was one of those things where I was walking up and down the aisles looking for snacks. People don't. I'm always sort of at. I don't know if my friends look at it this way, but I'm sort of at odds, I feel like, with my friends and the snacks or whatever, because our friend group is really into various flavor blasted things and they like to kind of try new flavors of things, but usually that's like kind of some sort of fake cheese flavor or whatever. Like my friends just like a Bunch of, like, kind of snack foods that I am not into, or they're just like, bringing cheese dips and all this stuff over. And I'm just like, well, if I'm going to want something, that I'm going to have to bring my own snacks. So then. But I'm not good at shopping for snacks and I'm not good at planning things out. So I'm like a child in there. And I just walk up and down the aisle being like, I guess I like ruffles. I guess I like these kinds of.

[Luke Burbank]

I know what you mean.

[Andrew Walsh]

I like these meat sticks. And then I come over with just like, a bunch of weird, random stuff. And I bought some of those Pets Pet Pepperidge Farm Oval cookies that have, like, just a kiss of mint to them or whatever I had. You know what I'm talking about. They're like the little, tiny, tiny sandwiches, but there's the chocolate ones, and I think mine maybe had chocolate with just a hint of mint. Oh, my goodness. They hold up. I don't know. Have you been able to afford them yet? Have you only seen them, like, by pressing your nose up to the window at Mr. Potter's store?

[Luke Burbank]

It depends on how the donors. The thinking of the donors goes today, Andrew. But I'm. I've been saving and I've been planning and I've been cutting a lot of costs, and I think I'm almost ready to get to a. What do they even call those ones? Milano's, maybe.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, that's it. Milano's, yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, by the way, the other. The cookie I was trying to remember. This is too late for everyone. They're Tate's. T, A, T E, S. Tates. And they're in a similar packaging to, like, a Pepperidge Farm in that it's kind of like a white bag that's kind of. Of slightly elongated and it closes at the top. And I always saw those and thought those are. But those are like. Those are the opposite in terms of their texture or whatever you want to call it. Those things are, like, crisp as anything, but. But, yeah. No, those Milanos. Ooh, those. I think there may have been literally one time in my childhood that there was one bag of Milanos in our house. And I think it was a whole situation. They may have been being hid from us children. I think my mom and dad do mess with Milanos now, but this is their move. They put them in the freezer. I don't know what your parents do around this kind of stuff. I feel like there Is an age where people just want everything to be more frozen. Like, that's the. That's the key. Like, you know, you ever had this. You ever had these Reese's Cups right out of the freezer? You ever had these cookies right out of the freezer? I'm like, no, I don't want everything to be frozen.

[Andrew Walsh]

I probably lean a little bit more towards that than you do. Not everything, but, like, I don't like opening up. Maybe it's part of a messiness thing too. But, like, I think it was maybe around Halloween time, Genevieve bought a bunch of candy for trick or treaters. We didn't get many trick or treaters. I believe it was, like, pretty rainy night, and so we had a bunch of those, you know, what they call fun size candy bars. Let's not. Let's not litigate whether or not they're more fun or not. But, like, I remember taking a handful of those, just, like, putting them in the freezer and then pulling them out of the freezer. Like, you know, having a couple at night or whatever. And so I think maybe I do might be my poor.

[Luke Burbank]

My poor dental health. Because what happens to me is, like, let's imagine I'm pulling a quote unquote, fun size Snickers bar. Snicker bar or Snickers bar Snickers.

[Andrew Walsh]

It satisfies.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm pulling a fun size Snickers bar out of the freezer, and it's not more fun for me to bite through it when it's totally frozen in the middle. I guess I could maybe suck on it. Really what I'm wanting to do is I want to raise its core temperature to the temperature it would have been if it was in the cupboard. Then I can eat it. It's like, why did I introduce this step to the process?

[Andrew Walsh]

You know? I mean, I know that what I told you is a true fact. Now I don't go in for Snickers. So, like, I feel like, oh, yeah, that sounds terrible to me right now because the Snickers has all that caramel in it, right? And that's gonna. That's gonna freeze up, and that's gonna be a real toothbuster. So that doesn't sound good to me. Although I don't usually go for Snickers. I wonder if that's why, like, I'm thinking of, like, a three musketeers, which is pretty soft nougat anyway. So I sort of feel like maybe out of the freezer. That's good.

[Luke Burbank]

That would be a better product for the job. I just feel like my parents. My mom is just, you know, my mom is quirky as everybody on this show knows. Everybody who listens to this show knows. And one of her quirks is that she just. I think whether or not she's even really interrogated if it's better or not, she has internalized this idea that freezing a lot of, like, sweet things improves them. And I would just push back on that and say most of them, in my experience, are not improved by being frozen.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, the one that I really zig while everybody else zags on this, though, is the Charleston shoes. I don't know if you recall, but, like, I had never had a Charleston shoe until a couple of years ago. And then it became, for some reason here on tbtl, a big part of the narrative. Charleston shoes for a while. And so I. But then I couldn't find any in stores. It was like. It was hard to find. But then our boy Rodin told me about a Citgo. No, we don't have Citgos out here. Do we have Citgo stations out here? I feel like it's a Citgo station in, like.

[Luke Burbank]

I think there are a few, but I don't think they're as common as in other places in the US there's.

[Andrew Walsh]

Some gas station, and I can't. It's like 148th or something in Greenwood or something like that.

[Luke Burbank]

Right across the line. Right when it stops being the city of Seattle.

[Andrew Walsh]

Maybe that's why. That's probably why you have to go up to Shoreline. No, I think I got those cross streets messed up. But anyway, anyway, he's like, you gotta go to this particular gas station. They have. They have all three flavors of Charleston shoes. So I went and I got all three flavors. And a lot of people, including the Stubbot, said, like, you're supposed to, you know, you should really try freezing those things. And they even said on the package, like, try freezing us.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, it says on there. I remember that from Charleston Chew when I was a kid. They were already encouraging you to freeze it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't see. I liked those much better non frozen. Those things were just too hard and unenjoyable. I felt like out of the freezer. So I don't know where I stand on this.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm all over it again. You would be, in my opinion, just trying to raise whatever chunk of Charleston Chew is now in your mouth. You're just trying to get it up to the temperature where it's soft again so you can chew it and eat it. It's like, guess what? That's how God made it. God didn't make no junk. Thank you for being a tail. All right, let's thank some of our daily donors today who are making TBTL possible. They're giving us Charleston Chew money, and we are so grateful. And, you know, what you said on the show yesterday, Andrew, really resonated with me about just the kind of the world at large and also the circumstance for so many people, whether they're in the federal government or just in a particular industry or a kind of space, a workspace that is under attack needlessly right now. Like, we're very, very lucky that talking about Charleston Chew is, at least for now, our job. And it's thanks to folks like Steven Waterman in San Luis Obispo, California.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you. Steven, do you have a slo. You have a connection, the San Luis Obispo?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, not a big one. When I was covering the Michael Jackson trial, I remember that we went up to a place called the. Or at some point in my life, I went up to this place called the Cold Springs Tavern. That's in San Luis Obispo, because the big thing around there is Santa Maria Tri Tip. And that was back when I did eat me some meat, and, boy, that was maybe one of the best meals I've ever had in my life. And I kind of slo. Kind of got filed away in my mind as a. As a very, very cool and desirable place. And that was before I knew Steven Waterman lived.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you know, and this is the truth of the matter, and you might have even heard me hesitate. I'm scared of that name. Not Stephen or even Waterman. I'm good with those. Or even California Abispo. Like, I always. Like, I see it coming, and I freeze up, and then I'm.

[Luke Burbank]

Is it Louis or Louis you say Slo.

[Andrew Walsh]

Slo. I didn't know I could do that.

[Luke Burbank]

That they do it. That's a thing. You just go like slo. Then you don't even have to get into the abyss. Bonus of it. You don't have to stare. It doesn't make sense. You don't have to stare into the Abispo.

[Andrew Walsh]

It stares back. That's actually. It does make sense. I'm with you on that joke. I don't. I don't know exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Spiritually makes sense. More than. More than, like, factually or logically.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know the strict outline of that joke. But I'm here for it in some way or other.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank You. Thank you very much. Thanks also to Meg has of Atlanta, Georgia. I'm seeing this last name. I'm seeing this city, and I'm seeing a lot of indications that you made. Do you know this person?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, this is Genevieve's mom. This is a very interesting development. I noticed my bell. Sorry, Meg. This. This is bananas. I'm pretty sure we, like a quarter of our income now comes from Genevieve's family. I believe this is. I knew that Meg was listening from time to time.

[Luke Burbank]

Did you take it down to like a tenth of your income? And can I have a tenth of it? Could it become a tenth of my income? I wouldn't mind that. Give me a couple of jams called tithing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Meg, look into it. No, this. I mean, thank you so much. I mean, this is. I saw this coming up at the end of yesterday's show, and I was pretty shocked by that.

[Luke Burbank]

I can't believe that you forward promoted it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm, like, literally blushing right now. So. Thank you, Meg, for. For supporting tbtl.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, thank you. We've now really, really locked in the. Now, does Meg go? Is she part of the hass or has?

[Andrew Walsh]

I believe has. I think that. I think the difference is haas or has. I think it's always pronounced with kind of a Z. I could be messing that up, too, and this would be a bad time to mess that up. So I'm just going to let it go.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you, Meg. Appreciate you. Thanks also to Bill Sonnenberg of Boise, Idaho. This is Becca's stepfather. I almost believe they're not on good.

[Andrew Walsh]

Terms, but love.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, the way that these things come together sometimes, it's just remarkable. Thank you, Bill, so much. Thanks for checking in. From Boise, Idaho. Is Bill. Wait, Bill's. We have not established if he is, in fact on the bench or not.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

The bench or the shelf.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let's see here. Is he the mensch on the bench or the elf on the shelf or.

[Luke Burbank]

Elf on the shelf? Mensch on the bench. Because elf on the shelf is the.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is the.

[Luke Burbank]

Is the one that everybody does. So elf or mensch on the bench is the other one. It's also. And you don't believe in a God as we're talking about this? Andrew, I'm not kidding. My dad is literally texting me pictures of these shelves that he's building.

[Andrew Walsh]

Are you sure they're not benches?

[Luke Burbank]

That's the thing. I'm unclear on the difference between elf or a mention. Some of them are. Some of them Are benches. Some of them are shelves that have a bench you can sit on top of. That is a true story.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, oh, oh, that sounds nice.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, dude. Like a built in whole built in situation. What I am trying to do is I see things in high design magazines and then I ask my father if he can try to build some version of that for my house. And so far, so good. So thanks again, Bill. Thanks to Jennifer Evanoff of Chicago, Illinois.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you, Jennifer. Appreciate that.

[Luke Burbank]

I'll be in Chicago, Illinois three times in the next three months doing. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Which is funny because I wasn't sure if I worked on that show anymore. And then they were like, oh, but could you actually do it way more than normal for a while? So I guess I am. I guess I passed my personnel review.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, congratulations, whatever the holdup was. And congratulations for Jennifer for me being in the same city as her three times in the next three months.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm so sorry. Jennifer, thank you for your donation.

[Luke Burbank]

Thanks. Denny Goulet. Wait a minute.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wait a.

[Luke Burbank]

Cotton picking. Hold on. Actually, do we say that. Wait a cotton pick a minute.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

Sounds. It didn't sound right when I was saying. Do you understand that yesterday we thanked Denny and Denny's partner of Edmonds, Washington, and today we're thanking Denny of Edmonds, Washington. Are we triple goulet out in Edmonds, Washington, or is Denny donating twice? What's going on here?

[Andrew Walsh]

We thanked. I'm looking at the record here. Yesterday we thanked three people from Edmonds. One was Carmen Marshall. That is not.

[Luke Burbank]

Not.

[Andrew Walsh]

That doesn't enter this equation at all. Then we thanked Dave and Aaron Goulet of Edmonds, Washington. Now we're thinking got to be part.

[Luke Burbank]

Of the goulets of Edmonds.

[Andrew Walsh]

These are the. These are the Edmonds goulets.

[Luke Burbank]

Famous. The famous trapeze artists, the goulets of Edmonds.

[Andrew Walsh]

So I don't know what the relationship.

[Luke Burbank]

All over the west in the 70s. Yeah, they've got to know each other. I mean, how many goulets could we go have? Thank you, Daniel. Thanks also to Kendall Dodd in Bellingham, Washington. What a city, what a town, what a place. We had a. Like on Livewire, we do this thing called station identification location thing where I have to see if Elena can guess a place in the country. And without giving too much away, it was Bellingham. And I felt very like invested in her getting it right and sticking up for Bellingham because I'm always going to have fond thoughts about the city. Of subdued expectations. Bellingham, Washington thank you, Kendall. Thank you to all of our donors today for making TBTL Possa the Bay City. How quickly I turned my back on my own social movement. I did not accept that it was the city of subdued expectations. I was trying to make it the Bay City, and now I've forgotten. Anyway, thanks to our donors for making TBTL possible today.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hello and welcome. Welcome to Top Story.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, Andrew, if I can just rip through a couple of these things that I sort of mentioned in passing at the top of the show that I wanted to give you some updates on, including basically, this was more yesterday's show, but I said that I've been having some issues walking around London. I have noticed that London walkers, people walking in London are not in a rush. Like, I don't think of myself as a go go guy. But I mean, when you're walking in New York City, particularly if you're in Manhattan, it's like, you know, everybody is really getting a move on. And I have found myself.

[Andrew Walsh]

What do you usually say if you're walking? Like, just if you're walking in New York City kind of quickly and if somebody kind of gets in your way, what do you. What would you say to them?

[Luke Burbank]

I would say, I'd like to be walking here, but you're making it hard on me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's what I thought. Classic nature.

[Luke Burbank]

Sometimes I'll kind of whisper it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I can feel it in my bones. I need to visit that city.

[Luke Burbank]

But like, again, I don't think of myself as a. Well, I might be a bit of a nudge, which is different than being pushy. I feel like pushy is one thing. I'm more like a. I will be walking in a place and I'll be walking kind of quickly and I'll be weaving around people, but I won't be saying anything to them and I won't be bumping them. Certainly, I'll be trying to. If I want to get somewhere fast and people in front of me are going slow, I try to solve it myself. Not like say to them, hey, you know, could you hustle up or anything? Or I don't know. I try to make it my problem, not theirs.

[Andrew Walsh]

You jump off the curb for a second if you need to.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely. In fact, I was thinking about that yesterday when I was at St. James park, which is kind of this mall that kind of connects up Buckingham palace and other kind of important things, sort of like the National Mall in Washington, how you've got all this big stuff ringing it. It's a little bit like that, and families are coming my way, and they're taking up the entire palace and whatever. I just. I'm gonna. There's one of me, there's eight of them. I'm going around. I'm just going into the grass. It's fine. That's kind of my move. Sometimes I feel like I should stand up for myself more when it comes to walk in here, because my default is really to always be the person stepping, you know, out of the path that somebody else is on. So. But I have been surprised. I just figured London was going to be very much like New York, that it's just going to be kind of every person for themselves, and you're just. You know, I. I would say that the being on the phone has been less pronounced here in my experience. But the difference is, for the last few times I've stayed in New York, I have, weirdly enough, voluntarily stayed in Times Square, which is really the epicenter of people, mostly from out of town, who are very. On their phones. They're excited. They're in New York, everyone's on their phone in Times Square, and it's a total night nightmare. I'm not seeing that as much here. So that's at least kind of nice.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sort of. You mean on their phones meaning, like, taking photos and.

[Luke Burbank]

Meaning, like, staring down at their phone and. Or taking photos, doing things that are making it harder for them to kind of, like, be a participant in this sidewalk that we all exist on, you know, that we're trying to all kind of do our thing on.

[Andrew Walsh]

I guess because you said they were tourists, I wasn't sure if there was something specific about that, but you maybe meant tourists just because they're, like. Just, like, not paying attention to the flow around them and just sort of are, like, kind of, like, checked out and doddering along?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, no, if they're tourists in Times Square, my experience is they have their phone out for, like, one of three reasons. One, they are about to take a picture of something which would include a selfie of themselves and whoever they're with. Two, they are FaceTiming with someone from somewhere else, and they're like, I'm in Times Square. And the third one is because they want to ruin my day.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's the third reason. One of those three reasons are ruining my day. Stop remembering that. Yeah, well, that's why I asked you on yesterday's show. I was like, what is the. Because I almost specifically asked about this. What is the situational awareness? I always just assume that Europeans are better than us at everything. And so I just figured the description.

[Luke Burbank]

Of people's lives, they are better than us. I feel like there's more situational awareness.

[Andrew Walsh]

There is, yeah. Although I will say that sort of like. And this is, again, this is just a me problem. And I really try not to complain about it too much, just, you know, just in my head or whatever. But, like, it really kind of bothers me when I'm walking on the sidewalk. And, you know, like, let's even just say it's like, maybe it's like baseball season. It's kind of like in downtown. And so you're starting to get some groups of people, like, kind of coming together and, like, walking down the street together. But I'm not talking about being in, like, a really congested line outside the stadium. I just mean, like, walking down the sidewalk and there's, like, three people, and they're all just going to walk shoulder to shoulder, even though it's, like, pretty busy. And they're not going to worry about anybody else's pace. They're just going to walk shoulder to shoulder to shoulder and take up the entire sidewalk. And then if anybody's walking. And because I'm usually walking alone, because I. People do not like to be around me, and so I'm usually walking alone. And when I'm walking, they've heard about.

[Luke Burbank]

The incident with you and the staircase.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, staircase, too. Famous line coming. But, you know, like, I don't even. I'm not even that fast of a walker. If I go on a walk with Genevieve, like, she's always. She has to, like, slow herself down. I'm not, like, super speedy out there, but when I'm walking by myself, you just tend to walk faster than you do if you're in a group of people. And I don't understand, like, when I'm walking with Genevieve, I am constantly kind of not looking over my shoulder, but trying to be aware if somebody is coming up behind us. And then I will, like, get behind her and kind of go single file for a moment. Like, we were just doing this walking around Fremont, which has some pretty narrow sidewalks a couple of weekends ago. And I remember a jogger was coming by, so I could hear them behind us. So I quickly kind of got over. Like, people should share the sidewalk. This just sort of meandering. Just like. Well, I don't care. I'm. It's just like, whatever. It's. It's me and my friends. We're just going to all just, like, take up the sidewalk. As much as we want to. I feel like it's kind of rude.

[Luke Burbank]

I agree with you that it is. It is thoughtless. And thoughtless is kind of an extreme statement, but it is. You're not giving thought to other people's experience. I would also say that you are exceptionally aware of other people and also of not trying to take up space in a way that is, like, probably sort of the other extreme. Well, I'm not saying problematic. I'm just saying, like, I think if everybody was the way that you are, everything would flow smoother and everyone would be more thoughtful. But I also don't think that's a realistic standard for people. But there's something south of what you're doing and north of what people. I mean, the way this really manifests for me is when I'm jogging, because usually I'm just physically tired and kind of, like, don't want to have to do any extra movement of, like, changing my kind of trajectory. And then when people are just, like, you know, blissfully unaware that anyone else is in the world, and they're just, like, chatting with their friends, or they've got, like, four dogs, but they're somehow just taking up all of the space and not trying to make themselves a little smaller to help with me getting through, I get really annoyed in my head. So definitely yesterday when I was out and about, plenty of people were doing exactly what you're describing. They were just out. They were chatting it up. They were chopping it up. They were looking at Westminster Abbey, and they were not asking themselves, how much sidewalk am I taking up? But also because I was by myself, I think I just feel like I'm alone wolf. I'm just here. I'm a wolf pack of one, and I'm here just to kind of, like, sneak around everyone and possibly steal any free eggs that I see. I'm sorry, that's more foxes. That's more of a fox behavior, I think.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, don't you feel like.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't feel like that's like, a. Like a tendency, like, where foxes will, like, sneak into the hen house. Maybe they just kill the hens or they'd steal the eggs or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was just so confused. I thought maybe that was, like, some sort of a joke about current events and the price of eggs. And then when you said fox, I thought you're talking about f. Like, is fox reporting people. I know. I'm so sorry. That's.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I'm just.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm sorry.

[Luke Burbank]

None of us have recovered from them using that font in the game.

[Andrew Walsh]

What do you call it? The score bug or whatever it's called. I don't think that's quite right either. But that was weird, wasn't it?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Why was it so big? It was very, very. I like a minimalist look, and so I like that it wasn't, like, super complicated. Yes. Score bug, I think is what you call it. Right. But it was also very, very big. And I don't understand why it had to be so big if it had so little information. In was weird.

[Luke Burbank]

It was a design choice, and I don't know if most of America agreed with it. One other thing real quickly. British pubs I finally went to for the first time. Obviously, because I've never been here before. I decided, okay, I'm gonna go do, like, the full, like, fish and chips. I'm probably not gonna do a full English breakfast because it's so much stuff that I don't eat. It's like, how many preparations of blood sausage do I want to be either paying for and not eating or choking down in some weird way? Also, I did a kind of a version of it when Becca and I were flying to Europe this summer because we had a layover in Dublin, and the restaurant had basically like an Irish breakfast, which I think is pretty similar in that it was eggs and, like, beans. They love those beans on toast and everything. So I've had a little bit of that. It was fine, actually, but. But I did want to try to do fish and chips. That's a classic thing. So I went into a pub and got the fish and chips and sat there and it was okay. But as I was looking around and as they were bringing the stuff out, as I was sitting there, I thought, have I been here before? And it's like, no, I haven't been here before. But what I have been in is in roughly 1 million either. Either Irish themed bars in America or British themed pubs. I guess they're both called pubs technically. But, like, the fact that the default setting in so many kind of, you know, towns in America where you wouldn't think there's a particularly strong British or Irish history, like, the fact that Irish pub. And I'm going to blend these together. I know they're probably slightly different. Don't come at me. But like, the idea that this is just also. So the thing you go with, if you can't think of a better pub idea, kind of ruined me for the real thing because it just felt like a million pubs I've been in in Scottsdale that are like this.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. I don't know how to respond to that because I don't relate. Now, I'm not somebody who's necessarily drawn specifically to an Irish pub or an English pub, but I know since I've known you, I know that you have. You just don't like that scene. You've. You've always.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't like it in places where it has no, no right to be. Andrew. No, I don't like it in a place where it seems like it. There isn't any particular backstory of it being there other than they were like, well, what do we think will get people in here? We'll have this Irish pub in this airport in, you know, some place. It doesn't seem to have a particularly strong Irish community or whatever.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I don't know. Like. Well, first of all, I guess maybe, like, I was a young drinking person in Boston, and so Boston obviously has a huge. That's got a lot of culture, pub, you know, connection. So when I was younger and going to bars, I don't think I was like, kind of distinguishing all that much. And like, I could understand, like, you know, if you go to a generic. If you go to some generic place and it's almost like, like we were kind of joking around, but you're going to go to America Land while you're over there and it's going to be.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, oh, by the way, I saw America Land. I took a picture of it. I meant to send it to you. Okay, I'm not kidding. There's really a place that's like American style food. I wanted to send it to you and say, I found it now.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think I said that too. As a bit of. You remember in season three of Arrested Development, there is a part of town. Where do they live again, other than Sudden Valley, where do the Bluths live?

[Luke Burbank]

It's in Arizona, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Is it Arizona?

[Luke Burbank]

No, it's in California.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's Newport Beach. I thought it was California. I couldn't remember what community.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it's like Newport beach.

[Andrew Walsh]

But then in their community there's a Little Britain. And he falls in love with a girl in Little Britain, but then she takes him to an American style restaurant that's in Little Britain. So it's just, ah, it's so funny. But all, all of that is to say, yeah, like, I know that. I don't know. I just don't distinguish it that much. Like, for example. And again, I'm not, I'm not trying to debate this. I don't, I don't have any. I don't have a dug on this flight in any way because it's not like a scene that I'm looking for necessarily. But, like, remember, I think six months ago or so, maybe a year ago, you and I got into like such a micro conversation of about a place I was trying to think of on Finney Ridge. Remember we were on Google Maps together. And we go through the S curve there.

[Luke Burbank]

It's about to be the courthouse. Or was it the goose? The snow goose.

[Andrew Walsh]

The thing was, it was the 74th Street Ale House I was thinking of, and you had never been in there. And then I go in there and I'm like, this is sort of like, it's very, very cozy. And they were serving some sort of like a. Like a stew or something that I think I got. It might have been a cold day and whatever. And I'm just sort of looking around, I'm like, oh, I see. This is an English pub. Like, specifically, it was Eng. I think even in the bathroom they had a mind the gap. Of course they did. But this place has been around for, I think, a while. I think this place, I looked it up at the time and it felt like it was maybe established in the 90s. And it was because. That's right. I looked it up and it said the founder had spent a year abroad and came back and wanted to recreate that experience in Seattle because he liked it so much in England. And I'm just kind of like, I don't know. That doesn't seem. I don't take umbrage to that. It doesn't seem so fake to me. We do that for all kinds of style of places and. And there are some style of places that you might not be in the mood for, you might not want. So you don't go into it, but I don't feel like, oh, you've been betrayed and you've been conditioned to not like it in England because you dislike them in the U.S. well, I think.

[Luke Burbank]

To go to the American version of the Irish pub and why I think I found it so kind of like the last place I generally want to go, it's because there was a good portion of my adult life where I just loved dive bars, like, sought them out. They were my, as they say, happy place. And a lot of times people would think an Irish pub was a dive bar. And, like, the difference in terms of the specificity of the culture and the pop culture. Like, every dive bar that I liked had actual weird shit that was unique. It was Endemic to that bar. Whether it was Roger handing out free drink tokens and telling dirty jokes or whatever, whatever. And like, pickled eggs, something. And then every Irish bar I knew followed exactly the same pattern. It was like there was an actual Irish guy that worked there who was kind of rude. It was like the food was very forgettable. It was coded as a dive bar, but really had a lot of, like, finance bros that had just gotten off their shift and that were coming in. Like, it did. Not for me. I'm just talking about myself. Myself deliver on what I loved about, quote, unquote, dive bars. It was. It was way too kind of like corporate and consistent. Even though it's not all the same corporation. There was just a. There was a similarity to all of them that made them feel to me like the opposite of what I liked about dive bars. So. But clearly I developed my opinion on it. Whether it's accurate or not, I don't know. I got locked into a feeling. The thing about this bar that I went to was, I think the problem was it was the time of day. It was like one in the afternoon. Like, I had this idea of the real British pub. And I bet you if I would have gone back to that place at 9:00 at night, it would have been a very different vibe. Having never been to one, like a real one. My sense was you go in and it's just full of hospital when you're there. Your family, your, oh, family. Like, just. I expected to walk in and to have like four of the 11 cast members from Lord of the Rings greet me, take me up upon their shoulders and dance me around in a jig as, as. As warm mead flows. I don't think you drink it warm. Like, I just thought it was gonna. And then I thought that was gonna be the best fish and chips I'd ever had in my life. And it was gonna be on a newspaper or a print of a newspaper paper. And instead I like, walk in and this was like a pretty decent place around here. Like, I did some googling. I didn't want to go in a especially bad one. This one had great reviews. I went in again. I think a lot of this had to do with time of day, but I sat down and I ordered my stuff and a couple of not overly sort of, you know, expressive bartenders that were working there, like, set me up with my fish and chips. And. And it was. I got the haddock, which, you know, was just the style, I do think. Also, I think. I'm guessing this is the way they do it over here, I'm used to, like, the fish and chips you get in the US it's like pieces of fish that are, you know, a few different pieces of fish that are then breaded and fried. This was like an entire fish. I mean, it had been deboned and stuff, but it was like I went for the south end of this northbound fish, fish that was all breaded and broke it off and realized I was holding the tail, the literal tail.

[Andrew Walsh]

And do most people eat the tail, do you think?

[Luke Burbank]

Over here they do keep calm and eat the tail. It's one of the main things they're into.

[Andrew Walsh]

I said that as. I don't know if you're joking or not, but, yeah, I guess I don't know because I don't know what the rule is because I'm still somebody who doesn't eat the tails of shrimp. And I know that that is like. I think it's a bit of a cultural thing because I think a lot of people just. Just eat the. Because, like, if I even get like, you know, like a Vietnamese bun salad or something, you know, it's like that vermicelli rice and like, some greens or whatever. I love that stuff. And sometimes it'll come with a skewer of shrimp or something and the tails are on there. And I think most people just eat the tails in that context. But I'm there with my chopsticks, sort of like removing the tail. And I always feel a little bit like a fraud doing that. So anyway, I don't know if it was a ridiculous question, but I was sort of curious if people to just eat the fishtail if it's breaded, you.

[Luke Burbank]

Know, I don't know. I was the only person getting the fish and chips, so I don't know what the move is here, but I wasn't. But also, I wasn't even grossed out by it. My point in that was just that it was pretty much the entire fish. Like, mine is the head. Like, the other end wasn't a breaded head of fish, but the southbound end was a breaded tail. So it was like the whole way of consuming it was more difficult for me because had that bend chunks of like, the breast of, you know, like a haddock or a halibut that were. You could kind of pick it up like a chicken finger and do a thing with it. In this case, I kind of had to cut it with the fork, which then it all kind of disintegrated. Then, like the. Oh, the napkin. They Gave me the tiniest napkin, the tiniest paper napkin. I was like, you just served me like a three pound breaded fish and handed me a tuba mayo, a thing of ketchup and a thing of vinegar. And you know, I'm gonna throw that vinegar on there, you know, that's the whole. The move. And the world's smallest napkin. Like, how do you expect me to. And you, you know this because you and I are the same way with this. Andrew. I do not like food stuffs on my face and my hands. So I swear this whole experience could have been different if three hobbits picked me up and celebrated my victory.

[Andrew Walsh]

I want.

[Luke Burbank]

And also if they just gave me like a large cloth napkin. Like, if that's just what they rolled the fork and knife in, I might be telling you a totally different story. What I know is I spent the whole time trying to take a bite of this thing in this more or less dead quiet pub while getting covered in vinegar, deep fried business, and holding fish in my bare hands and then trying to clean it all up each time with not enough napkin.

[Andrew Walsh]

So you didn't just opt for the fork and knife then. You were still kind of. I did.

[Luke Burbank]

But the problem is when you would cut it with the fork and knife, it would separate. Then you would just have like unbreaded fish and then just like breading that was separate from the fish. Neither of which is an enjoyable experience for me in that context. Like the bite is. Could be the move. To quote my guy Rusty, the move is, you know, you have this piece of fish that's manageable enough to where you can get a bite of the breading and the fish. That's a great. I know you're not a tartar guy, but like, you know, so the funny thing is I'm sure this was a nice pub for this kind of thing and everything was technically fine in a way. Like I would. There wasn't. It wasn't like it seemed, you know, unsanitary or the people were being rude or there was nothing wrong with it. It just I've, you know, spent my whole life hearing about the pub experience and that it's also, it could have to do with where we were in London versus if we were like in a small town somewhere. Like, like I've had lots of friends who have gone and visited the uk, be it Ireland or England or Scotland, and they'll be staying in a small town. And where everyone goes in that town is this one pub. It's like the main thing you can go do. And that energy might be really different than the thing that I went into, but I'll just say it wasn't. It was not. It did not rise to the level of whatever my thoughts were about it. And I wonder if some of that isn't because of already having weird thoughts about British Irish pubs because of the ones I've experienced in America.

[Andrew Walsh]

And also, I'm not trying to put this on you if it's inaccurate, but like, me personally, like, I eat, I obviously I eat a lot of meat. I'm not a huge fish person, but I'm fine with fish. If it's like you're kind of describing a white fish, a breaded white fish, and kind of a fish and chip situation, I'm not usually opting for that if it's the, if there are other options on the menu, but, you know, I'll, you know, I'll eat it and I'm fine with it. I usually go for the cocktail sauce, which I think is sort of a, probably a noob move because I don't like tartar that much. I like, I like the red cocktail sauce.

[Luke Burbank]

But anyway, I would love that, by the way. I love that, like, just drink that straight.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. But anyway, all of that is to say I think I would be turned off a little bit by the tail. I don't know, like, and as somebody who has been eating less and less animals, or I guess I should say fewer and fewer animals, that couldn't have been your favorite thing either.

[Luke Burbank]

It didn't bother me. I mean, honestly, part of the whole calculation I had, I was actually super excited about it's cold here. I was walking around and I was literally just going through my list of like, what are the most like English things I can do? And I was like, oh, the pub. Fish and chips. And then I was like, and guess what? I eat fish now. So it was like, it felt, felt like, oh, this is so perfect. I would love a cozy, delicious, deep fried experience of a thing that is generally speaking on my approved list. So I sort of thought, you know, the, the elements were coming together for me. The stars were aligning and it was fine. It just was kind of like, I mean, the, the night before I had door dashed like Lebanese food. And it was so good.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was so good. You mentioned that on yesterday's show. And I'm like, oh, yeah, that's a cool thing about English culture. Probably like a lot of like, good, like maybe if not street food, little like little stands and little shops and stuff that sell kebab and stuff. That sounds amazing.

[Luke Burbank]

The variety of food options from different parts of the world here is really stunning. So I think the good news is I did my bit. I went with my pub food thing, but I did not walk out of that pub feeling like, oh, I need to have much more of this on this trip. But what I am going to do is continue to explore all of the, you might say, ethnic options because those look, I mean again, the stuff from the place, it was called Beirut Cafe or something. Anyway, you doordash a salad from a place and I got a bunch of other stuff too, but it was just kind of a. I was like, well, I should try to have something green. It's rare that that thing that shows up in a plastic container. You open it and it's fragrant. It had all this mint in it. And I was eating and I was like, this is a really good salad. So. So anyway, that's, I think the direction that I'll be going for the, for the rest of my time here. Last thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. If this is really the last thing, I really hope it involves soccer because I want to talk to you.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, it is.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, good.

[Luke Burbank]

So I was talking to a person who works on Livewire. His name is Hazik and he is a Liverpool fan. He's one of our recording engineers. And this was the other. I was checking in from here, doing a recording and I said, do you like, do you know anything about this part of the world? I think he might actually have spent some time here. Like he might be from here. And he was like, oh yeah. Oh, and by the way, there's a Liverpool match the night you're going to be there. I was like, huh? So then I looked it up and I was like, oh, first of all, Liverpool is good. They're leading their particular division, I think of the Premier League. They're playing Everton tomorrow night. It's in Liverpool. I'll be done with my shoot. Shoot. It's like, would I be a fool to not go to watch an English Premier League match? I mean it also is like the 250 maybe pounds which is even worse than $250, which is, I mean, that's a lot of a lot of money to pay for a ticket for a game involving two teams that I have no prior knowledge of. Also, as I was saying at the top of the show, it seems like the tickets that are available, this is in Liverpool. It seems like the tickets that are available are in the Everton section. So either I'm now an Everton fan or I guess I just assumed I wanted to root for the home team, but I literally don't think I. Well, I could also just sit in the Everton section and think my thoughts. I never. That never occurred to me either. But like there was something weird about the fact that I don't think I can buy a ticket in the area of the stadium where the Liverpool people are. But again then the fact that they have to separate them, in the words of the offspring, that they got to keep them separate, that's also like a whole energy. Like I'm both intrigued by this, like this might be a once in a lifetime opportunity and also like this is where I want to be by myself with no rooting interest, just in the scrum of a bunch of hooligans, you know, what do you think?

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, the world of soccer, especially European soccer, is just so foreign, literally, and somewhat scary to me. I. My only exposure to it is I'm still going to that barber shop that is like very near my house and my bar. I don't know. I mean, I believe that he's. I don't know what his origins are, but I believe he comes probably from Africa somewhere. And you know, and you go in there and him and his. And the other, his colleagues, the other barbers are always like watching soccer. It's very. It's very kind of old school in that way. Like, I very much have an outsider. Another guy came in, was getting his haircut and he was talking to them about Liverpool. Liverpool just ended a match. I do call him matches. So that's pretty good. Good. But like, I just. I wanted so badly to bro down, but I had nothing, like nothing on that. I was like, I don't know. Do. Do you like the Mariners? I think he thought I was talking about the people down in Ballard who were on the fishing boat.

[Luke Burbank]

I have nothing on it either. That's the thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

But I will tell you this yesterday. So I ended up titling the show yesterday. What was the thing? I'm sorry, where were you? You were looking for Tottenham Circle. Right. But we were sort of spoofing on that and I called the show Tottenham Quadrangle and I posted the show and literally within moments of me hitting post on that thing. First of all, good job on Libsyn for getting these, these shows shot out of the tube very, very quickly because moments after hitting that get them right.

[Luke Burbank]

To the people so that they can turn right around and neg you.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, no, this wasn't a neg at all. Oh no, no, this isn't A nagging. That's right. I forgot.

[Luke Burbank]

People are yelling at you.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm not doing. Yeah, I'm not doing that again on this show. But I just saw that our friend Max, who lives here in Seattle. Seattle Max, Other Max is his name on the. On the Slack page, I got a push notification and he just wrote, speaking as an Arsenal fan, seeing the word Tottenham. Only he didn't say. He used an asterisk for the O, as if it's a bad word. He said, speaking as an Arsenal fan, seeing the word Tottenham edited just pop up in my pod feed gave me capitalized the bad feeling. And then a picture of a skull. And I am so scared of European soccer that I almost changed the show title. I'm like, did I do something racist? Like, I was so scared. Like, I'm like, I don't understand what goes on over there, but I know.

[Luke Burbank]

That there's the hot spurs. Isn't that really what the tot. Sorry, Max. The Tottenham Hotspurs. Right.

[Andrew Walsh]

That actually rings a bell. And I don't know exactly what I'm talking about now, but I just know that I have seen, like, things about the history of like, hooliganism and some of the, you know, some of the ties to, you know, like, anti and anti immigrant sentiments. And like, there's like. And I don't think I'm tying any of that to Tottenham. I don't know what's going on. All I'm saying is, like, me not knowing anything about this, but seeing that Max couldn't even write the word Tottenham chilled me. I was like, what did I do? Oh, no. Should I not? Are we not even allowed to say, like, what's going on here? So my point is, when you mentioned in the intro of today's show that you're thinking about going to see a soccer match, I'm like, oh, God, be careful. And I don't even know why.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I feel like, when am I going to be back in a place in Europe where there is a Premier League game happening that I could conceivably buy a ticket for and go. It feels like the kind of thing that you should see, one should see once in the their life.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Such a big thing. But it's so much money. I so don't care. I have to move my train ticket. I think my current train ticket. 7:30. This match starts. I also called a match now. This match starts at 7:30. So it's like, you know, am I going to be running to the train at the last, you know, I have to figure out what the latest train is and see if I can change it for that. And am I going to just be, like, surrounded by, like, you know, either jubilant or depressed. I don't know where the Everton people, what direction they're going, towards London or away from London. But, like, I don't know, it seems. It seems like something that I could see a world in which I do all this and then it's kind of a bust. Or in which I do all this. That is to say, buy the ticket. Figure out, by the way, if I'm even buying the ticket from a reputable. There's no StubHub here. Yeah, there's like, you know, make sure I'm buying this crazy expensive ticket that I'm actually getting a real one and then go to it and then, like, finally find some hobbits to carry me around. This could be what I've been missing on this trip. It could be like the night of my life, or it could just be like a huge hassle where I'm extra tired and full of surrounded by drunk people on the train, going home, being like, well, that sucked.

[Andrew Walsh]

I would say. Yeah, I'm not trying to talk you in or out of it, but it's just like, my ignorance on the subject and my concern about, like, the wrong thing to the wrong person is what scares me. Like, oh, did I just cheer for the wrong thing? And am I now Persona non grata in this part of town? Like, do I have to get out of here quickly? Does somebody have to throw their coat over me and usher me out of here before the mob gets me? Obviously, I am exaggerating. I don't know what goes on over there, but I'm telling you, that is my, like, sort of, like, ignorant fear of things.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, it brings together one thing that you tend to talk about, which is, like, you don't like wearing a hat for a baseball team if you feel like you don't know enough about them. Like, this idea of just, like, looking sports illiterate is a really. It sounds like a kind of a real pain point for you, the idea of it. And then just the threat of physical violence.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, you throw that in there, it.

[Luke Burbank]

Really makes it like, that's a real Texas two step. I'm sorry? That's a real Tottenham two step. And do we name the show that? And do we just blame it? Lose listener Max permanently.

[Andrew Walsh]

What if we have Tottenham in the. Tottenham in the title twice? I love it. That's a lot of tease, dude.

[Luke Burbank]

Sorry, man.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know what I'm going to do this year because I love my Orioles cap and I love the idea of the Orioles. Unless their success is at complete odds with the Mariners. I am going to learn enough about the about the Orioles this off season and the beginning of the baseball season. I'm going to follow them enough that I can wear my Orioles cap with pride around town. Let's see. Can I.

[Luke Burbank]

Will you follow them enough for both of us? Because I would like to get an Orioles cap. I agree. I think it's a great looking so good. But can I call you if someone says, what do you think about our relievers this season? Can I call you and can you tell me so I can give an informed answer?

[Andrew Walsh]

You mean Marky the Arm Johnson? He's looking good, man.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, they got Marky the Arm Johnson back.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know what? I'm pretty good at riffing. I hope you're still comfortable around me that you can still be relaxed, matching your wits with my talent.

[Luke Burbank]

There's a comedian named Alex Edelman who's very funny and actually was on Livewire years ago.

[Andrew Walsh]

He had that huge special right. About him going undercover into a KKK rally. Or am I confusing it with somebody else?

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, maybe I didn't watch his latest special, but that would be really something.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's him. I'm looking at his. I watched the beginning of the special. He had a special.

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't know that was part of it.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's called. I think it was called Just for Us and I'm looking at this now. But anyway, I'm not trying to steal your story, but it might because it's more of a mon. I mean, it's a standup comedy, but it's like a monologue about this one specific thing that he did. It's called Alex Edelman Just for Us.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, one of the things he says, I think it's in that special, but I've only seen obviously a clip of it, is he basically says, like, here's all you need to say. Or here's, here's the perfect way to diffuse any kind of conversation about anything, politics, sports, whatever it is you don't know about. Like. Andrew, ask me a question about the. The Liverpool team. Say, like, what about that Liverpool game last night or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

What about that Liverpool match last night, Luke?

[Luke Burbank]

Can you believe it?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah, I think you've mentioned this before. Can you believe it?

[Luke Burbank]

That's his whole thing is like, just say, can you believe it? It's so neutral. It totally puts it back on the other person, it's non committal, which is the same as saying neutral. It's just like, can you believe it? Like, that could be taken. That is a beautiful blank canvas for the person to take it any way they want. And it gets you immediately out of trouble. So I want you to proudly wear your Baltimore Orioles hat everywhere this summer. And I want you just to keep answering with can you believe it? If anyone comes up to you.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm trying to think if you told me this on the show before or if I just saw that part of the special, because I know I watched about half of it and I think I put it down and didn't and meant to go back and didn't. It started on Broadway, by the way. His just.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, that would make sense.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Because again, it's kind of more of a. More of a monologue type of situation. But I will say that you've kind of been doing the can you believe it? For a while because it started. No, it started in earnest. You told me that, like, you responded to some like, I think maybe critical TBTL email or something with just like, what a world. And then we started talking about that.

[Luke Burbank]

Worlding there for a while joke, and.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now it's sort of just become something. I act like I started saying it sort of as a joke to people, especially people who had heard our conversation. But now I'll just, what a world. People all the time now like, well, what a world.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, it is. It's. It's. It again. It's. You're not. You're not sticking your neck too far out in any direction at that moment, really agreeing that the world is a complicated place.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Well. Well, on tomorrow's episode, I guess we will get an update on if I decided to become a soccer hooligan or not.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. And if your luggage ever showed up just in time for you to turn around and head back to the States.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. So lots to listen to tomorrow. Please do join us for that. In the meantime, everybody, have a great Wednesday. Take care of yourselves. Go Liverpool.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't even know.

[Luke Burbank]

And please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to all. Smack me wowzers in me trousers. It's a home run. Power out.