#4407 Molina On Me

Summary

Podcast Summary: TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live – Episode #4407 Molina On Me

Release Date: February 20, 2025
Hosts: Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh
Episode Title: Molina On Me

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In Episode #4407 of Too Beautiful To Live (TBTL), hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh delve into a myriad of engaging topics ranging from fast food anecdotes and healthcare system quirks to listener interactions and cinematic discussions. This detailed summary captures the essence of their lively conversation, enriched with notable quotes and structured into clear sections for ease of understanding.

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1. McDonald's Musings and the Angel Reese Special

The episode kicks off with a spirited discussion about McDonald's, particularly focusing on the newly introduced Angel Reese meal. Andrew shares his nostalgic experience with McDonald's during the pandemic:

Andrew Walsh [03:26]: "It all began, my friend, in the dark days of the pandemic that stopped the world... I got a 10 or 20 piece and an orange soda."

Luke and Andrew dissect the components of the Angel Reese meal, expressing both curiosity and skepticism about its offerings:

Luke Burbank [13:06]: "I bet those hi fi systems are going to be really expensive. Honey, I need you to draw this clock."

The hosts humorously critique the marketing strategies behind celebrity-endorsed meals and the rebranding of classic menu items like McDonald's "Hi C" to "Orange Lava Burst."

Andrew Walsh [15:44]: "So that's where we are. The question is, is this... a high C product that does not have carbonation."

2. Navigating the Healthcare System and Listener’s Medical Email

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing the complexities of modern healthcare communication, inspired by an email from Dr. Ian, a dermatologist and listener:

Luke Burbank [25:43]: "Now, if you remember the other day on the show... you might want to wait until it's also gotten to whoever the doctor is that you've been dealing with so they can kind of help decode it for you a bit."

Andrew shares his personal experience with healthcare surveys and the challenges of understanding medical jargon without professional guidance:

Andrew Walsh [60:11]: "After making a whole bunch of phone calls, I end up on the phone with somebody from my actual insurance company. She was the best... we figured out what was going on."

The hosts emphasize the importance of relying on medical professionals to interpret test results rather than attempting to self-diagnose through fragmented information.

3. Reflections on the Pope’s Health and Leadership

Luke and Andrew briefly touch upon Pope Francis's health, highlighting concerns related to his advanced age and recent health issues:

Andrew Walsh [33:12]: "That is from one of our dazzling donors Today, the wonderful Dr. Kirk Honda."

The conversation segues into a humorous yet poignant reflection on the challenges of leadership roles held by individuals in their advanced years.

4. Shoutouts to Dazzling Donors

The episode acknowledges and thanks key donors who support the show's continuity. Special mentions include Dr. Kirk Honda and Carolyn Carlin from Edina, Minnesota. Luke shares Carolyn's insightful explanation of her town's name origin, blending local history with personal appreciation.

Luke Burbank [42:21]: "Think Edinburgh. The same, eh? The poet Robert Burns gave Edinburgh the nickname Edina..."

5. Meth Busts and the Role of Drug Detection Dogs

In a brief yet impactful segment, the hosts discuss a recent methamphetamine bust in Oregon, focusing on the role of the drug dog, Mando, in the operation.

Luke Burbank [46:19]: "And I think they need to start doing this more... putting the dog that presumably found the drugs in the photo is a pretty great idea."

They express mixed feelings about law enforcement's publicizing of such operations, balancing the need for drug control with the portrayal of these efforts.

6. Customer Service Frustrations and Online Shopping Woes

Andrew vents about the frustrations of navigating customer service surveys and the inefficiencies of online shopping platforms like Etsy. He recounts his struggle with a misdelivered order and the impersonal nature of automated responses:

Andrew Walsh [68:32]: "But then I could sort of tell, oh, she's flustered. She doesn't have the answers either... It just felt like I'm gonna friggin Sally Field. Not without my daughter."

Luke empathizes with Andrew's plight, sharing his own challenges with customer service interactions, highlighting the often impersonal and repetitive nature of automated surveys.

Luke Burbank [82:11]: "There are some that are really trying to figure out how your experience was... Others only care about getting the highest ratings possible so they can market it."

7. Cinematic Chatter: Alfred Molina and Boogie Nights

The hosts transition into a lively discussion about actor Alfred Molina and his role in Paul Thomas Anderson's Boogie Nights. They explore Molina's impactful performances and the thematic elements of the film, particularly its portrayal of fame and downfall.

Luke Burbank [76:35]: "It's one of the more high-stress movie scenes I've ever seen."

Andrew adds his perspective on the narrative arcs commonly depicted in cinema, comparing them to real-life struggles with fame and addiction.

Andrew Walsh [75:22]: "The narrative arc of rising to fame and then falling apart... that's pretty much the story."

8. Blurs Day Messages and Listener Engagement

Wrapping up the episode, Luke and Andrew engage with listener-submitted "Blurs Day" messages, celebrating personal milestones and sharing heartfelt greetings.

Andrew Walsh [85:05]: "Marshall says happy blurs day to my amazing girlfriend Louisa... I'd love to hear that the northern lights gods come through for us on your birthday."

They highlight the community aspect of the podcast, fostering a sense of connection and appreciation among listeners.

Conclusion

Episode #4407 of Too Beautiful To Live offers a rich tapestry of conversations blending humor, personal anecdotes, and critical reflections on contemporary issues. From the intricacies of fast food marketing to the labyrinthine nature of healthcare systems, Luke and Andrew navigate each topic with their signature blend of wit and warmth. Engaging listeners through relatable stories and interactive segments, this episode exemplifies why TBTL continues to resonate with its audience.

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Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Walsh [03:26]: "It all began, my friend, in the dark days of the pandemic that stopped the world... I got a 10 or 20 piece and an orange soda."

• Luke Burbank [25:43]: "I leave it to the medical professionals to tell me when to take a bow."

• Andrew Walsh [60:11]: "We figured out what was going on. It is going to be a little bit more expensive, but not as cataclysmic as I thought."

• Luke Burbank [82:41]: "It's honestly sounds like a pretty low key meal. Like I could see a world in which ..."

• Andrew Walsh [85:37]: "She's an amazing mom to our two boys, Elliot and Ben. You have to say something here, Luke."

These excerpts encapsulate the dynamic rapport between the hosts and their ability to infuse humor and empathy into diverse topics.

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For listeners eager to experience the full spectrum of Luke and Andrew's conversations, Too Beautiful To Live continues to offer daily insights, laughter, and the unfiltered camaraderie of two longtime friends navigating life's complexities together.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

Cross promotional spots for a monster truck.

[Andrew Walsh]

Rally to be read during Non Stop Rock blocks.

[Luke Burbank]

No thanks, tj.

[Andrew Walsh]

Never again.

[Luke Burbank]

Look, Z man, I know you're not happy about what happened back then, but I had no choice. Those traffic updates gave us critical mainstream support and all we had to give up was one hour of Non Stop rock. We never could have held onto that power. Rush hour. People just weren't ready for that much rock with so little talk. The 9am compromise allowed us to bring back get the let out. Friday in 96, the ratio of rock to talk was 3 to 1. Today it's 5 to 1. And yes, someday, God willing, it will be infinity.

[Andrew Walsh]

TBTL I suck without the Internet, dude.

[Luke Burbank]

It's like I'm too real for it. You know, sometimes people say that my.

[Andrew Walsh]

Head is too big for my body. And then I say, compared to what?

[Luke Burbank]

If you had a favorite saying, what would it be?

[Andrew Walsh]

Life's a party.

[Luke Burbank]

Rock your body. You're so shy and small. And you're so loud.

[Andrew Walsh]

I swear, every time this guy talks, all I hear is a turkey goblin.

[Luke Burbank]

You're both little troublemakers. You're both huge in Japan. You probably have a lot to talk about.

[Andrew Walsh]

Go keep things light. Don't bring up your divorce.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Thursday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

[Andrew Walsh]

I heard about that thing on the AM radio.

[Luke Burbank]

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. I'd rather check myself before I wreck myself. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia, where we're looking at a kind of a mixed bag today. A little rain earlier, some clouds, a little bit of blue sky behind all of that. Interesting, right? It's the perfect climate to bring you episode 4407 in a collector series.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let the fun begin.

[Luke Burbank]

That was a weird ding from this bell. I feel like that was more shrill than normal. I promise that is not setting the tone for this episode of tbtl. We are going to be anything but shrill. We're gonna be warm, welcoming, approachable, relatable. Here's a relatable topic. I've apparently been doing my laundry wrong for the last, I don't know, 28 years of adulthood.

[Andrew Walsh]

Clean as your mama's forehead.

[Luke Burbank]

And I read an article about how to do it better. And then this morning I just decided not to follow any of the rules so we can talk about that. Also, speaking of huge mistakes, I decided yesterday, for whatever reason, to actually take one of Those customer service surveys and I wish I hadn't done that. Regretted it almost immediately. Also, it's a Thursday AKA blursday, so we will do some blurs day messages as well and we'll talk to this guy. Longest running cobra on the show. May be best known for his depictions of the tall ships. We don't have an on site HR team here at Too Beautiful to Biz but we do subcontract with some folks and I guess there are some new rules now that this guy is really pushing for the show.

[Andrew Walsh]

First of all, you must wear pants for this.

[Luke Burbank]

His name is Andrew Walsh and he is joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning, Luke. Can I tell you a relatively quick story that covers years of ground?

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely.

[Andrew Walsh]

It all began, my friend, in the dark days of the pandemic that stopped the world. I don't know what year it was. When was that? 2020. 2021. I was driving somewhere and decided I was hungry. And remember you couldn't sit in restaurants at the time. This would have been an afternoon when maybe I would have died. Ducked into a diner and had a bowl of soup in a and French dip sandwich or something. But that was not an option. So I went through the drive through of a McDonald's and I got myself.

[Luke Burbank]

Which is not your move generally because you are Bob Walsh's son and you the Walshes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, going through drives.

[Luke Burbank]

Do not go through drive throughs.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, it's on our crest. It shows somebody standing in a McDonald's ordering food and carrying it out.

[Luke Burbank]

It's in Latin. No frias. Under the Cetus.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. But I. So I go through this McDonald's drive thru, the one by the original Burger Master.

[Luke Burbank]

For whatever it's worth in rest in power.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's not the Ravenna. What is that neighborhood over there? Yeah, University. It's on the outskirts of University Village. It's like, don't you think?

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my friend, please come on.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, don't you think.

[Luke Burbank]

Do I tell you about Chain Link Edition? I actually do all the time and usually get it wrong. That is the University Village. I probably called it the wrong thing. That is the University Village Burgermaster if ever there was. I mean, first of all, that area, that mall is called University Village and is across from the playgrounds, the play fields of the University of Washington.

[Andrew Walsh]

Maybe I'm talking, you know, maybe I shouldn't have said the original Burgermaster. Maybe I'm confused as to where it is I'm talking about. It is sort of near. Okay. Hey, Everybody, welcome to. You might want to.

[Luke Burbank]

This is a short story about a long period of time with multiple interruptions.

[Andrew Walsh]

You might want to fast forward a little bit because we're going to get some micro.

[Luke Burbank]

I, on the other hand, I'm geographically invested in this conversation.

[Andrew Walsh]

So if you're driving down, what would it be?

[Luke Burbank]

45Th?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, no, see, this is way more north than that. This is like.

[Luke Burbank]

Are you thinking of the Kid Valley?

[Andrew Walsh]

I think I'm thinking of the Kid Valley.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, that's what it is.

[Andrew Walsh]

So do you know the McDonald's that's sort of in that area?

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely.

[Andrew Walsh]

And that's not University Village. Right. So I did misspeak. But I just want to make sure that I wasn't. It seems like that's too far north for.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I wouldn't call that University.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. So. Okay, good. I was just concerned about the University Village creep. If it's like. Anyway, I think it's Ravenna because it's. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

They arrested him years ago. I'm almost sure they got the right guy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Show title. No, but anyway, yeah, this is right by Ravenna Park. Anyway, I go. It doesn't really matter. I go in and I order what I used to order as a kid, which was like a grip of chicken nuggets and an orange soda. Right. And I don't need fries. And it's like for me, whatever room I have in my belly that fries could take up. I would rather just fill that up with chicken nuggets. So I probably got a 10 or 20 piece and an orange soda. And this is what I kind of. This was a traditional order for me at McDonald's when I would go there throughout my whole life. And I don't know if you recall me going into great detail around this time, but when I would have to eat in my car during the pandemic, I would try to drive around and look for something. I didn't want to be just looking at a parking lot or something. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

I do remember drive just places.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'd be on top of a hill overlooking a lake or whatever I was trying to find. And so I remember driving around this neighborhood, finding it wasn't there no great vistas. But I found something, I think maybe near the park or in a residential area. I pull over and I crack open this meal that I have not had in probably years. And maybe I have a nugget or two and then I take a big. Would you call? I always see it in writing. I don't know. I took a big draft off of my Soda. You know, my orange soda. And I was shocked when it hit my tongue. And I learned that McDonald's had started carbonating their orange sodas. Now, this was again, this is like four years ago now, growing up. Oh, sorry.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Please respect the drop.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hamburglar.

[Luke Burbank]

Did you just throw an Amber Alert?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I said Hamburglar. Geez Louise, that'd be amazing if you were Silver Alert.

[Luke Burbank]

If somebody in the way back was saying silver Alert.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I said Hamburglar. Okay. But all of that is to say I did not realize that, you know, I grew up with a McDonald's orange soda that was non carbonated. And I believe it was high C. But we just ordered an orange. We just ordered orange. Orange drink, I think.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I ordered orange drink this time, and I was shocked. I remember reaching out to Camaro Kev, and I was like, do you know about this? He's like, yeah, it's been this way, man. Like, welcome. Welcome to the modern world. And I was like, good Lord. And I think I maybe even fell for that a second time. Sometime around then. I think I'd forgotten about it or something. And there was just something offensive about the carbonation when I took this big drag of my orange soda. But then skip ahead, Luke, to last weekend. I'm driving in my car and I hear a commercial. I'm listening to some sort of sports programming, and I hear a commercial with basketball star Angel Reese. Right. And she's talking about how she's got this. I think a lot of fast food chains are doing this now. You can, like, order a custom Angel Reese meal. You know, at McDonald's now, these celebrities will have, like, special meals. I think Burger King started this. And then you can order, like, the Angel Reese meal or whatever.

[Luke Burbank]

And it's like some menu items that maybe aren't typically on the menu. Is that the idea? It's like a special. What makes it. What. Why would I want the special meal from the celebrity versus the.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think it's like the combination of food. Like, I know, like, how many different combinations can you really do? I mean, we could look up right now what is the Angel Reese meal while you look that up. But I know, like, there were some that were a little bit wacky. Like, I think, like, Burger King started this, I think, because there was some celebrity who always went for onion rings. And I think a lot of people go for fries there. So it was just like how you mix and match your order or whatever. It's just a. So. But here's the thing. Before you reveal what is on the Angel Reese menu. I just want to say that in her, you know, a read from her and she's talking about her meal. I don't remember what was in it obviously. But then she says, and then you can order any drink of your choice. For me that. That's a hi C. And I was like, what is going on? And with a little bit of googling, it looks like hi C. The original orange might be back at McDonald's, Luke. Now they're calling it orange lava burst. I don't know. Yeah, that's got me worried. It got me a little bit worried. But I think that's just a branding thing. I'm looking at it. It just looks like orange non carbonated drink back at McDonald's brought to me potentially through Angel Reese.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm worried about that orange lava burst. When I hear bursting, I don't think of something that is, you know, kind.

[Andrew Walsh]

Of still as it were.

[Luke Burbank]

I worry that these high seas do not in fact run deep. That they are lava bursted with. Exactly. It's almost the color of what Jimmy Butler was dealing with in a recent NBA game. When I think it bursts. Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sorry.

[Luke Burbank]

When I google The Angel Reese McDonald's meal, Jimmy Butler pants crap is the second result.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, so what do we know?

[Luke Burbank]

The Angel Reese special. And Andrew, it is a limited time only. You're gonna get a barbecue bacon quarter pounder with cheese.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, barbecue bacon. Okay. That is a special meal.

[Luke Burbank]

Is that okay? I've never heard of you on that. I haven't heard of it either. But I'm also not as frequent of a flyer with McDonald's as as I might be world famous fries, which is trademarked for the record, I don't think. Andrew, I know when you. When you have some get togethers this summer and you're gonna make your world famous fries, you are not allowed to refer to them as your world famous fries.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can I call them county wide celebrated fries?

[Luke Burbank]

You can call them the big fries.

[Andrew Walsh]

The big.

[Luke Burbank]

Everyone's getting together this weekend for the big fries.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh man, those video only commercials are getting so pathetic. They had like a sale over. It wasn't President's day because that was the. This one. It was maybe labored one of the late summer holidays. And then there was a commercial that aired after that was like everybody. A lot of people had great deals during the. During the big holiday weekend. But I guess a lot of people were out of town. So the good news for those losers is we're extending the deal now. It's like the most pathetic like nobody came to our holiday sale commercial. But. But it was like spun as like good news for you idiots who left town when you could have bought a flat screen tv.

[Luke Burbank]

Are they still running? Is it still that sort of man and woman having the world's least sort of naturalistic conversation that is written to try to seem like they're just casually chatting about 74 inch LG TVs.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. And I want to be careful joking about this, but it gets. When you hear these two people re recording various conversations for years and years and years now, it's hard to not think about dementia because like one of them is always kind of like surprised to hear that the best deals aren't at the factory Club.

[Luke Burbank]

Right? We've been over this.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're the one who was telling him that last week. You've been, you've been spending decades telling people this. Like, how do you not. How are you shocked at this?

[Luke Burbank]

But are all of the good deals at the big box store? No, you ignorant slut. I feel empowered to say that because of the Saturday Night Live 50th anniversary. That is not how I speak to people in the world.

[Andrew Walsh]

Obvious.

[Luke Burbank]

For the record.

[Andrew Walsh]

Obvious.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a really good point. Like what is not getting through at this point?

[Andrew Walsh]

It's like when they switch roles, it's not like one person is always the one in the dark. It's like no, last. Sweetie, last week you were the one telling me about this. Let's just go look at some TVs.

[Luke Burbank]

I bet those hi fi systems are going to be really expensive. Honey, I need you to draw this clock.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay? What are we going to do?

[Luke Burbank]

Back to the Angel Reese Special. We've got the famous fries again. The. The trademarking of this knows almost no bounds. Just to refresh. Barbecue bacon, Quarter pounder. Trademarked World famous fries. Trademarked High C. Trademarked Orange Lava Burst Trademark. All of these things have a trademark on them. Icon meet icon in the Angel Reese Special for a limited time at McDonald's. Let's break it down. This five star meal is going to change the game with the new barbecue. Oh, so that is new.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, we've established that.

[Luke Burbank]

Let's see. The Quarter Pounder Patty seasoned. We get it. Okay. Smoky barbecue sauce. Let's see. Let's get down to the. The Angel Reese special. Medium World famous fries and hi C or other soft drink. So now that it says hi C and then parenthetically or other soft drink.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now she said in her like read something like. And the drink of your choice for me it's A high C. Which also.

[Luke Burbank]

It's like, let her live, McDonald's. Just make it the high C. Like, that's such a. I don't know why this is. This is the thing that bothers me. But it's like, so she likes high C. Great. But they're like, but what if people don't like hi C? Well, they think that the Angel Reese meal is not for them. Can you also just mention that they're allowed to get the drink of their choice? Like, no shit, Sherlock.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can. Can I swap out that orange high sea.

[Luke Burbank]

No.

[Andrew Walsh]

For a Diet Coke, please? I clearly.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you misunderstand, fundamentally, the Angel Reese special.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, I don't. I don't want the Angel Re special. Just give me a barbecue bacon burger. Sorry, that sounds terrible.

[Luke Burbank]

Two pieces of bread. Okay. And then the chicken. You. Five easy pieces. It.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's so bad. I'm so sorry.

[Luke Burbank]

Carbon. My impression was, does McDonald's high C have carbonation? Andrew?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, no. No.

[Luke Burbank]

McDonald's high C. Orange lava burst is not carbonated. I repeat, this is not a drill. It is not carbonated.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't. I didn't. Yeah. So you were worried it was gonna be carbonated. I was worried they were gonna change the flavor of it with the lava burst thing. But I'll bet you that's just a marketing thing because kids these days can't just drink orange. Like, just calling it orange. Like orange. No, it's orange lava burst.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, of course.

[Andrew Walsh]

So that's where we are.

[Luke Burbank]

The question is, is this. Does this make it more likely that you will once again visit a McDonald's? Because you can get a hi C product that does not have carbonation.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, at some point, I don't think I'm gonna make a special trip, but the next time I do roll through. Cause I'm trying to think that last time I went to a McDonald's was when. So sometimes when my friends are out of town and I'm watching their cat, I gotta go feed the cat in the morning and. I know. So this must have been like, late September. I think there's this McDonald's I pass. You know, the McDonald. Oh, and you might get it from. You have a little one of those.

[Luke Burbank]

There was.

[Andrew Walsh]

You have a brass plate at the drive.

[Luke Burbank]

I asked them to migrate it from the Baronoff over to that McDonald's on, like, 105th or whatever that is, if that's the one you're talking about. Right by the freeway there. I used to.

[Andrew Walsh]

University Village area. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

My rotation used to be roll up to Cairo radio at about 6:00pm this is, by the way, what I left a burgeoning career in New York City to do. Right. I'm in New York, I'm hosting this show. I'm living the life. There's a town car that is driving me to work every morning very early. I leave all that behind so that my life can become. Go to Cairo radio at 6pm start prepping for TBTL with Jen and Sean. Do the show from 7 to 10. Go to either the Hideaway on Aurora or Goldies or a combination of both until about 2 in the morning. And then on my way home, swang as Camaro. Kev would say, swangle into that very McDonald's.

[Andrew Walsh]

Not into. No, no, no.

[Luke Burbank]

Into the drive through of. And. And then head on home and you know, just cap the night off with a cool, I don't know, 6 to 8,000 calories.

[Andrew Walsh]

And what was your order?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you know, I think I was really in one of those chicken sandwich phases. They've got a breaded chicken sandwich kind of thing with like iceberg lettuce on it and some kind of a mayo, which I know you would not be a fan of. I feel like I was really big on that for a while. I remember one time. Were you in on this? We ordered. This was when I lived now down in Mount Baker. Some group of us. I know Camaro, Kev was there and I know Roden was there and I think we literally bought. Was it $50 worth of nugs?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, just nugs.

[Luke Burbank]

We bought your nug boys. We weren't though. I mean not, you know, self identified, but I just remember. I'll text Roden later and see if he could sort this out. I remember us. You remember that. That kitchen that I had at that place had that huge green island that was like a dyed sort of concrete. That thing was Mostly covered in McNuggets.

[Andrew Walsh]

Just a pile of it.

[Luke Burbank]

And I'm. I'm not going to, I'm not going to beat around the bush. It was late at night and we were big drunk.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And I don't know why that was the move. But anyway, all that is to say I know the McDonald's that you speak of my.

[Andrew Walsh]

So let's see. Oh, anyway, I was just like, I don't think I'm in the middle of a story. Of course I am. I always am. Anyway, the last time I went to McDonald's is going after.

[Luke Burbank]

You were checking in on the cat.

[Andrew Walsh]

But for a breakfast. No, like on the way to checking on the cat for breakfast food. Like I say, I Rarely go to McDonald's but I guess I did go in like I say in like September, September. And I got a. And this is what I'm learning. I'm finally learning. So I've done this like, maybe I've done this move like three times since I've been living here near that McDonald's is. I go through and I get excited and this might be a little much for you and I would understand why. But I like the McGriddle sandwiches. I like the little, you know, they infuse the little biscuit with. It's not really a business.

[Luke Burbank]

Crystals of. A little bit of syrup, a little.

[Andrew Walsh]

Bit of sweet syrup. And I like that. I get a sausage one and I always am so scared they're going to put cheese on it that I say, could I get a sausage McGriddle, no cheese. And what I forget is that means no egg. You have to say egg and sausage McGriddle. I always thought that the McGriddle comes with egg and then either bacon or sausage. So anyway, I think I did this like twice. And I was like, I pull it out of the bag and it's just. It's just sausage with the. And I was just like, eh, it lacks something. Specifically egg. Yeah. But I remember the last time I did this last fall. I went through and I nailed the order, Luke. I just nailed it. The sausage McGriddle with egg and no cheese. And took that over, fed the cat, sat down, watched the cat eat while I just wharf that thing down. But the thing is, I don't think I've been to McDonald's for a post morning meal in possibly. Possibly since this time during the pandemic. I'm not sure. But if I am getting a lunch thing, I think I'm almost always nugs. I haven't gotten a burger there in four forever.

[Luke Burbank]

I also thought that the airport was a place where you would occasionally, you know, darken the door of a McDonald's because you have, you have rules at the airport which are. There are no rules.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, sort of. Except the rule is like first of all, most airports don't have like. Well, at least the ones that I go to. I think maybe like the one in. Is it O'Hare?

[Luke Burbank]

It's not prominent at SeaTac.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

The way it is at some other place.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. I think maybe the midwestern ones like I think O'Hare has a McDonald's or a Wendy's I got excited about once. But a lot of the airports I go to, they're all like, you know, whoever the local famous chef is, some version of that thing or whatever. And also like my move at the airport now is almost always pretzels at the gate. Like, especially if it's a morning flight. Like, I am. Like, I'll get a bottle of water and a thing of pretzels and I'll just eat those at the gate. And I call pretzels nature's breakfast.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know why that honestly sounds like a pretty low key meal. Like I could see a world in which, I mean, I guess it depends on what you've got to do on the other side of the flight. But I could see it being Bloody Mary time. Just because again, airport, no rules, a lot of people do that. I could see it being, yeah, grab a, some kind of a croissant with, you know, breakfast fixins in it. But that's something that's actually pretty. Again, I don't want to get into defining certain kinds of eating as, you know, good or bad per se, but that's something. A pretty low key meal. Some pretzels and some water.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. I mean, if I'm in an air.

[Luke Burbank]

Almost communion, if it's at any point is the water transubstantiated?

[Andrew Walsh]

It's like when I say water, I mean it was water, it's now wine.

[Luke Burbank]

It's been. I got you. Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

And when I say pretzels, I mean.

[Luke Burbank]

You mean the body and the blood.

[Andrew Walsh]

Of Big Mac, the character. Yes, body of Big Mac. Amen. But also with you, if I'm, if I have like a layover or something and I'm spending a decent amount of time at a, at an airport, I enjoy. And I know it's, you know, you overpay for it, but you go into it knowing it. I enjoy sitting at a bar, maybe having like some sort of pub food and like an IPA that when you're traveling and like that, that's kind of a good feeling, but I don't always like to do that. Also, like sitting on the plane with a big belly of greasy food isn't always the best feeling either, you know, like pretzels are. I do like pretzels in the morning. I feel like they're, they're handy toast, you know, like, I know that we don't put salt on toast, but they're like little toasted little airy things that you can. Sometimes I'll have some orange juice with it or something. But that's, that's my move. I'm Not. I can't remember the last time I got fast food at a, at an airport.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, what I tend to go in for at the airport particularly. And because of how much I travel, I literally know the places in the various airports. I love to get soup. And you know what? I think it's a holdover from my days of much, much heavier alcohol consumption. I think it would be not atypical for me to be wickedly hungover in like O'Hare, like, and because my speaking of routines, speaking of regrettable routines, it would definitely be a get done with wait, wait, don't tell me. Maybe go out with the wait wait crew for like a drink and then beat a path to Rossi's and then really get things rolling. And so then the next morning I'm just like, I'm just. It's just brutal trying to get through O'Hare. And soup is, you know, sometimes can be comforting. So I think I've developed the habit of eating soup at the airport. And another thing about it is that, you know, a lot of those places, particularly, I want to say this is more of a post 911 thing, I guess. But also, I think with the pandemic maybe this was also impacted. There became a point in time where you couldn't get a lot of decent ingredients even into the airport for the restaurants. So you'd be. You'd order something off the menu and it'd be very clear that it had shown up pre assembled and they had just maybe microwaved it. And then they also would give you like disposable, you know, single use plastic utensils. You're just like sitting there with this like very mid Caesar salad and you're eating with a plastic fork and you're like, why am I in tjo? Pooter shooters and Sky Harbor. I could have gotten this out of a machine, right? What am I doing here? So all that is to say, the soup always seemed to be pretty reliable because I think it's pretty straightforward. You kind of. And as we've talked about the Alaska Air Lounge, which I've still not gained access to.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I was going to say. That's what I thought. You're going to say the reason you had soup at the airport is because you kind of. They indoctrinated you or they may have also social engineered you because I got to say, you'll be shocked to hear this. I've been hungover before once or twice too. Going to. I mean, I know that the classic thing is tomato soup and a grilled Cheese sandwich. Social engineering, maybe putting. What is it exactly, man? How does it work? But for me, if I'm ever hungover, the last thing I would think about in the morning or afternoon or whatever is I'm dragging ass is a big steaming hot.

[Luke Burbank]

It like warms you from the inside. It calms down, it balances out your humors.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, good.

[Luke Burbank]

It goes in there. It.

[Andrew Walsh]

So you did go to medical school.

[Luke Burbank]

It tamps down the. It tamps down the fires that are still burning in Mordor, AKA various parts of your body where there's alcohol still operating. I think it's sort of the perfect internal lubricant. The next day, after some questionable decisions have been made. Speaking of doctors, can I. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

What's going on?

[Luke Burbank]

Can I share a little email? I know this isn't the time we typically do it, but it's from a listener who is in fact a medical doctor. It's our friend listener Ian, who is a dermatologist and said, now if you remember the other day on the show, I was attempting to co host with you, but I was also kind of spiraling because I had gotten an email or a message from my healthcare provider with a very medical description of what the results of my recent little colonoscopy were. And it was unclear to me what the results meant. So I started Googling some of the words in the results and then I became kind of nervous about what the implications were. And then when I got done with the show, I got a different message that was like explaining it and I was calmed way down. Dr. Ian says, hey there, Luke. I listened with absolute chagrin to your description of Googling your colonoscopy pathology results yesterday, not because you necessarily did anything wrong, but because it is a scene I have had play out myself so many times. I am a dermatologist, so we frequently deal with biopsy results for patients which arrived to us from the pathologist in a very similar manner, full of medical jargon and not intended for the patient to interpret themselves. Five years ago, that result would have been hidden from you until we had a chance to look at it and release it to you along with an explanation of its significance. However, enter the 21st Century Cures Act, a piece of legislation that was designed to increase medical transparency and presumably had some well meaning goal that I still don't quite understand. However, one of the stipulations of this act was that the test results now have to be released to the patient as soon as they are available, which means that you now always see them before the doctor that ordered them does these results come out whenever the pathologist is finished with them. So it is not on any sort of predictable schedule, and you get an alert about it, but we don't because we get so many per week. This has, as you can imagine, caused the scene that you've described to play out thousands and thousands of times over the last few years. People do exactly what you do. They find the scariest word in the pathology report, they Google it, and they work themselves into a panic before we have the opportunity to talk to them about it. So, again, not saying you did anything wrong, but know that you fell into the same trap that many before you have. Everyone in healthcare and most patients wish that Congress would amend this law to fix this problem, but let's be honest, that is not really top of the priority list right now. So there you go. I guess the point in all that is to say if you do. If you're going through something similar to what I went through and you get that ping from your medical provider, you might want to wait until it's also gotten to whoever the doctor is that you've been dealing with so they can kind of help decode it for you a bit.

[Andrew Walsh]

One thing that I do appreciate about at least my experience in the modern healthcare system, which has been. It's had its ups and its downs as far as, you know, just my medical care is concerned and how much I feel like people are, you know, the doctors or whatever are looking out for me. One thing I do like, though, is I get a lot of tests done now. You know, like, they draw my blood and they test there because mostly, I think at this point because of the medications I'm on. What's that? Yeah, it's mostly root beer. So there's like, a root beer level that you gotta watch. Yeah, but I was gonna say the. So I get a bunch of, like, results back, and a lot of them are kind of like, hey, is this. Is this drug you're taking affecting your liver too much? You know what I mean? Or whatever. So I think that's the main reason. But also, there's some inflammatory stuff that they're checking. But I go. I get blood drawn. And I will say it's a pretty quick turnaround. Usually if I have an afternoon appointment, I will have my results, usually that evening from the blood lab people. But it's all through that. People who are familiar with the medical system are probably familiar with my chart or some version of that. The portal into your healthcare system, your results are in there. Keeps a record of your appointments, that type of thing. And what I like is they now, instead of just giving you a bunch of results that you don't know what they mean, they show you on a little spectrum from, like, you know, green to red to yellow. I can't remember exactly how it works out, but you want the arrow basically in the middle of these and not too high and not too low. And so before. So I do get that before my doctor weighs in. And then the doctor has done a really good job of weighing in, like, within. You know, usually I wake up the next morning and I already have the doctor weighing in. But, like, at least it gives you some sort of a visual representation of, like, where things are. Like, am I, you know, pinning up into the red? You know, like, if so, then I definitely. Like, even I can tell that. And so I gotta say, like, that whole thing has been working out pretty well. This law that Dr. Ian is talking about sounds like good intentions, badly executed.

[Luke Burbank]

I guess maybe in this one way, you know, it's. They hadn't really thought through what the result was going to be, because I can absolutely see the logic behind saying, well, patients should be receiving all of the information, and they should be receiving it in an unedited form so that it's not the doctor. As I'm saying this out loud, though, I'm also hearing how RFK Jr. I sound like. We don't. Like, we're gonna leave it to the doctors to interpret. Yeah, that's what this information, as opposed to the. As opposed to the podcasters of the world. Like, as I'm saying it out loud, I'm like, yeah, that is kind of a dumb idea.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. There are all kinds of results that end up in my doctor's hands that he, you know, or in some cases, she would have to.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, no, no, no. Hold on. Back up, lady doctors.

[Andrew Walsh]

I've had some.

[Luke Burbank]

We'll put an end to that.

[Andrew Walsh]

But, you know, like, of course. No, that is literally what I'm paying them for. It's like, if I don't go to get my car repaired and they just, like, give me a bunch of. Maybe this is a bad example. They just, like, dump a bunch of data on me from, like, what they got when they connected my car's computer up to their system. That doesn't mean anything to me. I need them to interpret it. That is their expertise. And with HealthC, more so, like, I don't want to be doing this myself. I want to ask the doctor, what does this mean? That is literally their job.

[Luke Burbank]

Right. And I think what you have pointed out. And I'm. I'm, you know, I'm with you on this, which is that I don't think I know better than doctors, generally speaking. I mean, you know, there's examples and. Please don't. This has been a. Been a busy week of me saying things on the show. And then people reaching out to somebody said the other day, please stop. Please stop saying that everyone over the. A certain age, over the age of 70, is a conservative. I said, I don't remember saying that. I think it was because I had said that it was surprising to me that my dad's politics and my politics have aligned at this point. And I clarified this in an email to this person. My point in that was not about my dad's age. It was about my dad's kind of religious persuasion and the way that I grew up and the principles that I grew up believing about the world and about the Bible and God and stuff. And so I'm very pleased and relieved that I'm not, you know, every day when my dad and I are talking about politics. It's not a battle. It's like we're on the same page. But anyway, all that is to say I've been. I've been stepping on some toes accidentally here, but so there are probably some people out there that will say I had a bad experience with a doctor who would not give me the kind of care that I deserved or required. I'm sure that does happen. I'm not trying to say that doctors are infallible other than Dr. Ian. Dr. Ian is infallible. And I will be seeing him for all of my colonoscopy needs.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, he works out of the Vatican, right?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, he does. What color is that smoke boy again? Let's just keep doing it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let's just keep.

[Luke Burbank]

Let's just keep jumping from lily pad to lily pad. I was thinking yesterday as I was listening to the updates about the Pope, who is 88 and has bilateral pneumonia, maybe we should stop picking the Pope's when they're already at a pretty advanced age. Like, if we're, you know, like, do. Is it that you could not have possibly built up the information base by age 40 to be the Pope? Like, it seems like this is a recurring issue in order to have the gravitas to be the Pope, you have to be at an age where you are likely to experience some medical difficulties.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. You know, I gotta say, I like this Pope as far as popes are concerned. Sure.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm not trying to.

[Andrew Walsh]

So, yeah, like, he's not as hot.

[Luke Burbank]

As Ray folk fines, but, but also.

[Andrew Walsh]

I will say that like, well, at least they didn't, they, they didn't elect somebody or choose somebody who served in the Hitler Youth program. Like, yeah, like, sort of like that one was always mind boggling to me. They were like, well, he was a kid and I was always like, yeah, but there are a lot of Catholics in the world. Like, can we just find one whose resume doesn't include literal, literally the Nazi party. Like that they were ahead of the.

[Luke Burbank]

Curve on that as far as rehabilitating the image of that entire movement.

[Andrew Walsh]

Not trying to paint with too broad a brush here, but like, is that too much to ask for? And now you have this Pope who's like one of the first, like people with a very large platform who has actually been standing back on, pushing back on what's going on in America. So like, yeah, I mean, I wish.

[Luke Burbank]

Him good health, but I just, I didn't realize he was 88. And, and that's just, you know, that's just a point in life where there is oftentimes some sort of medical stuff starts going on. Anyway, all that is to say, I'm with you, Andrew, that I am just, I would, I would leave it to the doctors to explain it to me what's going on, and I'm fine with that. And in fact, going forward, I'll probably just ignore the medical ease and just wait till, till one of the doctors can say, well, this is what this means to us.

[Andrew Walsh]

I would like to quickly throw in a email that I got here as well, because I meant to do this at the very top of the show. Our friend Gather is as you and Camaro Kev say, as you say, as Camaro Kev says, they're swinging through Phoenix for the Quilt Con. Okay, be Quilted Con. No, just Quilt Con. But anyway, so they want to have a little meetup. So you got, you got Gather from Chicago, you got Michell from Leavenworth. They're visiting Phoenix for Quilt Con and they're putting together a little TBTL 10s get together there in Phoenix, 7pm this Friday. That is tomorrow, 7pm tomorrow at Huss Brewing. That's Huss Brewing downtown convention center area. So there you go, everybody. That is a Little Tens meetup tomorrow at 7pm in Phoenix.

[Luke Burbank]

Nice. If you are in Phoenix or if you are a quilter who's at the conference and you have no idea what TBT is, you should still show up. I Think these are good people? Yes, we was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle. On your mark.

[Andrew Walsh]

On your mark.

[Luke Burbank]

Get set, get set now. Ready, ready, go, everybody. Razzle dazzle. Speaking of good people, we've got some amazing people to thank right now. Our dazzling donors of the day. These folks are donating a dazzling amount of dough that keeps a TBTL happening. And we have arrived at Dr. Kirk Honda. Oh, our buddy, the pronouncer, Andrew, is you say clerk and then you drop.

[Andrew Walsh]

The L. So it's Kirk.

[Luke Burbank]

Kirk.

[Andrew Walsh]

Or wait, that's the first.

[Luke Burbank]

It's Kirk Klerk Honda, Esquire. Dr. Kirk says. Hey, Luke. And Andrew, as a fellow podcaster, by the way, this is. Dr. Kirk has been a guest on the show multiple times. We've talked about it a lot, but he has a very, like a crazy popular podcast on YouTube. It's Seattle Psychology Today.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's what I want to say. You feel like I would have looked that up before.

[Luke Burbank]

Millions and millions of views on there. So, you know, he says, fellow podcaster, it's like, yeah, but also, you're getting a lot of views.

[Andrew Walsh]

Psychology in Seattle is what you want.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. Psychology in Seattle. As a fellow podcaster, I know the ups and downs of putting yourself out there, but no matter what, you two always show up with energy, laughs, and that TBTL magic. Huge kudos for that. I do have a few hopes. One, I hope you really let these dazzling donor messages sink in. Seriously, bask in the love and appreciation. It's well deserved. None of us would donate if we didn't absolutely love what you do. Hey, thank you, Dr. Kirk. That's a very like. That's a really nice thing to hear. And also, I will be honest, just we're saying before the break that the break that nobody heard just like a blip, but that, you know, I leave it to the medical professionals, I leave it to the psychological professionals to tell me when to take a bow. And Dr. Kirk is telling us to take a bow, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. Unless he's being sarcastic. Now, I'm all in my head about this.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, no. Hope more people step up to donate or increase their contributions. Since you guys rarely ask, I'll do it for you. Hey, moochers, chip in already.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, it's not very tone.

[Luke Burbank]

Not very doctorly, sir. Number three, I hope you hope you keep talking about all the same things, because I'm here for it. Middle aged health woes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, doctor.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is the show for You.

[Luke Burbank]

You have been loving today's show more than you even realize. Sports talk. Well, we were doing that during the break that nobody heard, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's true. Yep.

[Luke Burbank]

Garbage adventures. We need to circle back to that, because there was a point, Andrew, a week or two ago where you said, we can either talk about this or my latest garbage thing. And we didn't ever go to your latest garbage thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Everything turned out okay. It was. There was a lot of chaos around the app when the snow came. And, like, there's a specific app for residents like me that tells you when to take your garbage out. And usually it's very, very simple because every other week is recycling and everything else goes out all the time. But you would think when there are holidays and then snow events or whatever, the app, it's like the whole point of having this app would be to alert you to these things, but they don't know how to maintain it. Sometimes they just don't update it for the holidays. So you take it out and it's not picked up. And then during the snow, the app was literally telling me to different things. I take it out tonight or it's going out the next night or whatever. But, like, two different places on the app was. So I was just very frustrated. A couple of weeks ago, everything worked out okay. My garbage was picked up. I'm glad I put it out the day early because the app was actually wrong, but everything is okay. And in all seriousness, I appreciate those drivers out there in the not so great road conditions hauling my garbage around.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't even open the updates from my garbage provider. I wait for the garbage man to interpret them for me. There's a ton of stuff in there I don't get, and I don't want to get it.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's how you do it.

[Luke Burbank]

Professional to let me know. Dr. Kirk also says he'd enjoy hearing about the Greenwood QFC. Getting shirty with people in public.

[Andrew Walsh]

I noticed you skipped over political woes and toilet stuff.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I did. That was not intentional political woes. Toilet stuff.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know. With the Jimmy Butler stuff. We got both sports talk and toilet stuff.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, we did. Getting shirty with people in public, which I don't think I feel like we haven't done that in a while.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I need to get rough. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Can you get back on that? Can you. Can you wander back into SARS Superstore with all kinds of personal luggage they don't like? And, of course, never getting to the news stories? Once again, way ahead of you, Dr. Kirk. Here's to another year. Love you guys. That is from one of our dazzling donors Today, the wonderful Dr. Kirk Honda. Thank you, Dr. Kirk. We appreciate it. Maestro, on your mark.

[Andrew Walsh]

On your mark.

[Luke Burbank]

Get set, get set now. Ready? Ready. No, I'm scrolling down in the message and I'm seeing the. The insignia of the city of Edina.

[Andrew Walsh]

Minnesota, but did you say it correctly?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, let's find out. The second dazzling donor we have to thank today is Carolyn Carlin of Edina, Minnesota. Carolyn says it's pronounced Carolyn, not Caroline. Yeah, but I'm not fussy about it. I'm glad to know that, though, because to be honest with you, I would have probably said I would have mispronounced it because of the spelling.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, this is spelled because somebody just recently, like, set me straight on this. If it's spelled this way, it's Carolyn. If it spells this. If it's spelled this way, it's Caroline. No, but I'm saying that it looks like this one. Maybe bucks that. Rule of thumb. That's what I was saying. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, yes. So every time I or Michelle write in from Edina, there's a question about how to pronounce the town's name. So this year I'll teach you. Here's your mnemonic. Think Edinburgh. The same, eh? The poet Robert Burns gave Edinburgh the nickname Edina, which is where the founders of our town took the name. Okay, so. Well, first of all, the problem with Edinburgh is it is itself a confusing name because it looks like Edinburgh. So if it didn't have that big fringe festival, I would never know how to say the Scottish city of Edinburgh.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I think that this explanation, I gotta say, I read this quickly yesterday.

[Luke Burbank]

And I know closer to knowing how.

[Andrew Walsh]

To pronounce the name did this on purpose. But I think this gets me further away from ever properly saying the name of this town. I could be missing the point.

[Luke Burbank]

Everyone get out a pen and pencil.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

It starts off in Scotland, in Edinburgh, Scotland, which they pronounce Edinburgh, where the poet, the great Scottish poet Robert Burns nicknamed the city of Edinburgh Edina, which I didn't know that is where the founders of the place in Minnesota where Carolyn is. That's where they got the nickname. The Scottish and Irish history of the community is seen in our town logo shaped like a four leaf clover with the four leaves representing the four quadrants of the town made by highways 162. There's a thistle and a shamrock in two of the leaves. The other leaves have an e. And then Carolyn says boring. And an Image of the mill around which the town was founded. Enough with the obscure history lesson. Oh, also, Carolyn wrote that in the message. I also want to shout out to the Crafty Tens Facebook community. This year we're having a great time sharing our various arts, not all of which involve yarn. You folks are fabulous. I do actually really like this town. What are we calling it? The. The logo. I like this town logo. I'm also very worried that Robert Burns is actually not Scottish. I assumed he was because of the Edinburgh connection and because in my mind, I think he's Scottish coded. But he could have also been Irish. I doubt he was British. Can we get. Anytime I try to say something with authority, I immediately regret the decision.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's Scottish. Oh, look at that.

[Luke Burbank]

Love it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Again, I'm also way too much headroom in his official portrait on Wikipedia. I will say they were even doing that when they were painting it. Why do we need that? Much I love.

[Luke Burbank]

I love that this. This bugaboo of yours predates photography.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let's make that landscape. And let's look at line of sight and headroom here, folks.

[Luke Burbank]

Speaking of photographs, by the way, thank you so much, Carolyn. And also thank you very much to Dr. Kirk. Thanks for making TBTL possible today with your dazzling donations.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hello, and welcome to Top Story.

[Luke Burbank]

Speaking of photographs with a lot of headroom, I saw this picture, I think, in the. My local paper here. The Colombian, I believe. No, you know, it might have been in the Oregonian, but it was a story about a drug bust. A. Apparently a huge. Yeah, it definitely was in the Oregonian. And it was about what they think might be the largest, like, meth bust they've had, or at least maybe in terms of something that was in a car. The headline is astronomical. Bust shows Meth trafficking's stubborn grip on Oregon. But what I was struck by was the photo of the meth, which has Mando, the drug dog, sitting in front of the meth. And I think they need to start doing this more.

[Andrew Walsh]

So, Mando, is this something that I'm supposed to recognize from previous conversations or you just discovered.

[Luke Burbank]

Noticed it this morning and I just thought, this is. I have. I have very complicated feelings about law enforcement trotting out their trophies of things, because I think it feeds into a certain narrative. I don't think it would be good for this amount of meth to be in circulation. Don't get me wrong, but I just don't. I just don't. I don't love the kind of victory lap that law enforcement tends to make when they, it feels to me like a justification of a lot of other stuff that is, is not great. But I do think putting the dog that presumably found the drugs in the photo is a pretty great idea.

[Andrew Walsh]

How's that dog look? What kind of dog are we talking about here?

[Luke Burbank]

I thought you could go to the Oregon Oregonian website and look for yourself. Or I can take a picture.

[Andrew Walsh]

You can do that. But also, this is an audio medium. I thought maybe you could tell the listeners as well.

[Luke Burbank]

I. It's. Well, it's got a lot of head space, which is why I thought of.

[Andrew Walsh]

This, which is why I don't want to look it up.

[Luke Burbank]

Although the headspace is actually. That's not quite tr. There's a folding table that is literally buckling under the weight of the bags of drugs. And then there is a cinder block, a white painted cinder block wall at the sheriff's department in it looks like Washington County, Oregon. And then sitting like the goodest boy is Mando the drug dog.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, okay. Kind of a German shepherdy looking.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, very much German shepherdy. You know, one of those kind of working dogs. And did you get there?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I'm there now. I'm looking at it.

[Luke Burbank]

What do you think of this photo?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, it's pretty cute, I guess. I don't know if the table's buckling. Is it buckling?

[Luke Burbank]

I think it's like the side to the left.

[Andrew Walsh]

Maybe there's a piece of cardboard sticking off of it.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, maybe that's creating an optical illusion. But like I said, I, generally speaking, am not a fan of this kind of publicity again. Which is weird because I'm not saying I wish that these life destroying drugs were in readier supply for people. That's also not what I'm what I'm thinking here. But I do think putting Mando in the photo is helping me. I really like Mando.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm trying to figure out what the funniest dog would be if it wasn't. Because of course it's a German shepherd. Right. I was gonna say literally gonna say.

[Luke Burbank]

A plug, limited nasal function.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. Have smashed face. Just making that. Oh man, I was. And I don't know, you show up.

[Luke Burbank]

With the drug sniffing dog and it's a pug and he's just like, I don't know, man. Your guess is as good as mine.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now I want to be careful because I will say I don't know anything about dogs. I've never had a dog. And so I don't know what's going on. I think some People can, who know more about dogs can be kind of judgmental about breeding practices and whatever. I want to be careful of that because I might be describing a kind of dog that some of our listeners have and love.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't see dog owners as being in any way sensitive. Sensitive about anything you might say about their dog or other dogs.

[Andrew Walsh]

But. But Genevieve and I, when we were leaving Croatia, we took a one hour, no, it was like a 90 minute ferry ride just to get off the little island we were at to get to the airport that morning. It was a long day of travel that started by. Well, started by land, then by sea, then by air and when we were on this kind of large ferry. But it was very early. It was like 5:00am or something, maybe 6:00am but you know that feeling when you're around a bunch of other people and it's kind of like very. Everybody's sort of sleepy and on their own little. Some people, people were going into work, some people were obviously traveling like us. But every. There's sort of a stillness, a quietness on the ferry. But then there's this area you can go to where there's a. We were in like sort of the front of the boat and then there was this area you could go to to get some snacks or coffee or something like that. And the restrooms were there. And the few times I passed through this area, there's a little hallway and there's this couple with a dog. And I don't know what kind of dog it was, but it was a dog with one of those smashed faces. And I think it maybe also is maybe older or something, but it just constantly seemed like it was in crisis mode and I don't know what was going on with it, but these two folks, like they were in this stairway hallway thing. Like they were not, they weren't like sitting at a table in one of these loungey areas. I think they were there because of the dog and keeping an eye on it and it was breathing so loud. I could hear it from so, so far away. And it just. I don't know what was going on with it, but it just, it was starting to really affect my mood, I felt so. I didn't know what I wanted to do, but I just wanted to like, just love this do. Because he just sounded like he was in so much discomfort.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. It's also a topic that is probably very charged for people and that I don't know a lot about. So I don't want to. Yeah, I don't want to say Something that, that, that ticks off yet another listener. But I definitely.

[Andrew Walsh]

This dog definitely voted for Trump.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel anxious when I think about a dog not having an easy time breathing because of design.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. In a way.

[Luke Burbank]

And I don't know if the design. When I say that, I don't mean that the dog was designed to have poor breathing, but because of other characteristics that were being bred for, it might make it really hard for them to breathe. That, like, makes me feel like I'm having an asthma attack.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, exactly. I also think a dachshund would be funny in this photo.

[Luke Burbank]

That would be pretty great.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But like an extra one that's bred to be very, very long.

[Andrew Walsh]

Very long, rapidly.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe with an extra. With an extra set of feet in the middle of its long, long, long body. I like that. That's what I'm into. I'm like, yes, like pugs. I don't know, guys. Let's double. Let's think about that. Dachshunds with a extra, like, set of two feet in the middle. I'm all for that.

[Andrew Walsh]

And a horn.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, why not? While you're down there. I. I mentioned this at the top of the show, so I guess I'll. I'll try to close the loop on it. And it. I don't. It's not a particularly fascinating story, but I guess it was a reminder as to why I don't participate more in this world of kind of answering surveys about how the service was like. I don't think I'm saying anything particularly novel when I say it is out of control, the surveyification of modern life. It's, you buy whatever it is you buy or you interact with whomever it is you interact with. And then you've only begun the journey now of swatting away. How did it go? Emails and messages and it's. I guess it's one of those things that you only notice. I was going to say, why have companies not figured out that you don't want this in your life? But then you're not noticing the companies that don't do it, I guess is part of it. So there probably are some companies that realize there's a limited utility to this. And also people don't like it, so let's not do it. And those ones, I'm just not noticing that they're leaving me alone. It's the. And it's always the most random one. I'll tell you who won't leave me alone right now. Fast growing trees. Dot com. Oh, you was that I bought Star Jasmine. Oh, fast growing trees. Dot com. In fact, Andrew, you want to see my star?

[Andrew Walsh]

Jasmine. Where is it?

[Luke Burbank]

Look at. There it is.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, it's inside right now.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I brought it in when it was really, really cold, but it's getting some light. I'm trying to not over water it. I'm trying to.

[Andrew Walsh]

How's it smelling there?

[Luke Burbank]

It hasn't bloomed yet and hopefully it won't till I move it outside this spring. But boy, it seems like the companies. I don't know how many fast growing trees I'm gonna buy in my life, but these. This company has really been hitting me up multiple times a day to see how it went and to try to sell me other stuff, etc. All that is to say, I went down to the bank the other day in town and I love this bank. I'll shout them out. It's US Bank. I have. I have an account there. I also have an account at a couple of other banks. Not to brag, it's just because, you know, I'm living a secret identity and I need to have money spread out to different places in case I have to go on the run again. Anyway, I went down to the US bank and I just love the folks that work there. They're really friendly. I also don't have. This is getting weirdly into the details of my life, but I don't actually have a checking account at this U.S. bank. I just have a savings account, which means I don't have a debit card from this place and I don't have a checkbook. So if I need to interact with them, I kind of have to go into the branch. And I kind of love that because I wouldn't say I'm, you know, tight with the employees there, but they're just. Again, I really enjoy this little. It's one of the elements of living in, I guess you could say, sort of small town America that I really do enjoy. There's a lot that I don't love about being out here, but the idea that I kind of go into my local bank and I wait in line and I chat with the teller and I do my little banking at. And it's a kind of a nice little moment. And so when I.

[Andrew Walsh]

You pass a fire station with a Dalmatian on the way.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly, yeah. You know, and then there's a couple kids. Firefighters are talking to a kid who's got a slingshot in his back pocket and they're pointing at a broken window, but it's in an old building. That nobody really uses. So the kid learned their lesson.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's a learning opportunity for sure.

[Luke Burbank]

So I get home and I get a, you know, a ping, of course, from US Bank. Like. Like, how was your time at the bank? And I thought, you know, why not tell them that I enjoy the folks that work at this bank and that they're helpful and that, you know, this is. I mean, what I was doing was I was withdrawing money so I could buy some. So I could put a down payment on some cushions for these bench seats that I just had my dad build. And they said, if you pay with cash, we won't charge you the processing fee on your card. So I had to go to the bank. Bank to get cash money, and then I had to go down to the upholstery district, which is surprisingly robust in Longview, Washington, and then give them cash money so that they can order the fabric so they can make these cushions. That's the long, boring version of this story. But anyway, I was like, yeah, I. I like these people. I want to tell a US bank that they have good folks working at that branch. And so I. I said yes. I never say yes to this stuff. And I said yes. And, Andrew, when I tell you that there was maybe 40 questions.

[Andrew Walsh]

Whoa.

[Luke Burbank]

It was so, so long and in depth. It wasn't just like, how was your experience? Which I gave it a 10. It was like, how was your experience? 10. How was the person who helped you? 10. Were they friendly? Yeah. 10. Did they seem to know what they were doing? Yes. Yeah. 10. Did you have all of your needs met? Yeah. 10. Like, it just kept asking me versions. I kept thinking, this has to be the end of this. I've now done. I've said yes to, like, nine things. And it just kept going and kept going and kept going. And then finally it said, like, you know, thank you for your participation. Would you. Would you agree to answer more questions, yes or no? And I was like, hard no. Absolute no. Now, here was the. Here was the thing, Andrew, and you tell me if I did the right thing or not. The person who helped me. And I don't know if they can. They probably can specifically tell which teller actually helped me. Right. Like, I'm sure there's some record of which. Which window I was at and which person was at that window at that time or which, you know, area of the front of the bank or whatever they asked if the person offered me. Basically, what they want this person to do is constantly try to get me into more digital products.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, they want to sell you and something.

[Luke Burbank]

And this person didn't try to sell me on anything, which I appreciated. But then it was like, I want.

[Andrew Walsh]

To get them in trouble.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't want to get them in trouble for not a BSing. Always be selling.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But on the other hand, they didn't, which I liked. So I said, like, did this person encourage you or did this person inform you about CDs and floppy disks and. No. Did this person basically try to, like, upsell you into some other financial instrument? And I was like, no, they didn't. And I was like, well, should I just lied? Should I just said they did?

[Andrew Walsh]

That's a really good question. Unless they've had too many tellers who are like, been freelancing that stuff, and they're like, we're trying to clamp down on people trying to upsell our customers all the time.

[Luke Burbank]

I wish that were the case. I have a feeling. I have a feeling it's the opposite.

[Andrew Walsh]

When Mr. Us, when you, period S Period bank comes down to check on his bank. By the way, how much do you tip a teller in this situation?

[Luke Burbank]

I go, like, 50%. 50% of the withdrawal.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

No, that's taking out 400. So that's like 200.

[Andrew Walsh]

Here's where I am on these customer service surveys. I'm happy to do them. I've talked.

[Luke Burbank]

You actually do them sometimes.

[Andrew Walsh]

I've done, yeah. And the thing is, on this show, because if I'm a little bit peaked about something or felt like I got bad customer service, I will then fill it out and then I will read it on the show and sort of make fun of myself because it's always so cringy when I leave negative feedback. One thing that you should know, though, is I am usually not on this show sharing the nice ones that I think because there are times when I get really great customer service or just great service or really enjoy a product or something. There are plenty of times if they hit me up afterwards, I'll be like, absolutely. That was great. In fact, I. A couple of weeks ago, I told you immediately after the show, I got a pretty not unlike the email you got regarding polyps. I got a email from my healthcare.

[Luke Burbank]

System involving, I feel like polyps Poundstone was a missed opportunity or an opportunity.

[Andrew Walsh]

Properly missed so as we can maintain our friendship. But I had a real scare, kind of a financial scare, because it turns out, like, some of the support I was getting to pay for some of these drugs I take had dried up. And I didn't know that it was finite. And all of a sudden it like. Like I was looking at what my bills were going to be for the year and literally saying to myself, oh, I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep taking this medication. And also just being so pissed at the system and the calling. And it's. There's always, like, there's the. Your healthcare provider, there's the pharmacy that I use to get these drugs, and then there's your insurance, and then there's this, like, fourth party that handles some sort of a.

[Luke Burbank]

A.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's actually the. The drug company itself has some sort of a program to offset costs of the drug. It's a very strange system. And everybody just wants to bounce you around between the four of them. And some people, clearly, it occurred to me, when I'm asking for clarification on things, I'm always saying I'm really dumb on this stuff. Please slow down. I realized one of these people didn't know what she was talking about. Like, she just didn't know. She was just barreling through dangerous to call them. I'm like, call who? Like, there's. I'm talking to the pharmacy right now. Who is them? I had to keep saying, wait, you keep saying call them. And I could sort of tell, oh, she's flustered. She doesn't have the answers either, but she's the person who's supposed to have them because the system is so complicated. After making a whole bunch of phone calls, I end up on the phone with somebody from my actual insurance company. She was the best. Now it. She helped me figure this out. She's totally took all the time that I needed. I never felt rushed. She never felt flustered. She was invested in helping me. We figured out what was going on. It is going to be a little bit more expensive, but not as cataclysmic as I thought. Like, in that situation, I am happy. I am. I was so happy to have such great customer service from, you know, a sector that you don't expect to always get great customer service from. So there's plenty of that in my life as well. There is something about these surveys, though, that drive me a little bananas. There are some that are really trying to figure out how your experience was. Even though the one you took yesterday sounds a little annoying. It sounds like they're really trying to dig into your customer experience and truly maybe care about it. Other companies only care about getting the highest ratings possible so they can market it. You know what I mean? That's why I don't want to get into too much detail here, but when a rideshare service was sponsoring the show years and years and years and years ago and I had mentioned during an ad read like, kind of like, oh, sometimes I give four stars, sometimes I give five stars. We were told, no, no, you always give five stars. I don't, don't talk about that. I'm like, why does this company not want to get realistic feedback on their drivers? And I realized, oh, because they just want to say our, our drivers have this five star rating. You know what I mean? So that's really annoying when the company is only using that for marketing and doesn't truly care about what your experience was. And then there are. And I've only had this once and it was with my beloved question mark, Seattle Mariners, who I have very. My beloved Toni Morrison. I have, obviously I have a lot of emotions wrapped up in the Mariners from both their on field performance, but also the cheapness of the team and the millionaires who own them and also the politics and policies that go around, some of the decisions that are made in that part of the city and the fact that like the Mariners and these very, very deep pocketed organizations and individual are constantly trying to sway the city council on various things. And I took a poll, I don't think we talked about it on the show, but I think I talked about in kuow I went to a baseball game, I think this was two years ago. And afterwards I got an email from the Mariners, hey, would you like to take a poll about your experience at the ballpark? I'm like, I would because I have a lot of feelings about like I love the ballpark itself. There's literally not a bad seat. I love that. Do I love $20 beers? No, I could talk about that. There's plenty to talk about.

[Luke Burbank]

The whole, I've heard you love them.

[Andrew Walsh]

What's that?

[Luke Burbank]

I've heard you love them.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe not the price.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, no, I like the beers. Anyway, point is there'd be plenty good and bad to weigh in on, right? Like, oh, and the ice machines are always out by like this six inning, like the ice. There's no ice in the stadium. Like that would be helpful feedback. Yeah, the whole poll was about did you feel safe? How did you get there? Did you take the bus? Did you feel safe on the bus? Did you feel safe getting off? That the whole thing was clearly them trying to make it sound like I'm scared of homeless people or some of the, some of the grittier areas around there so that they could use these poll findings and say, oh, well, we need to, like, kind of sweep this area. Like, you could feel what they were going for in this very specific poll. Never once did they ask me about concessions or anything.

[Luke Burbank]

It was all Edgar has fixed Julio Rodriguez's swing in the first half of the season, as was posited by Ryan Divisch.

[Andrew Walsh]

This was still the Scott Service era. But anyway. But you see what I mean? Like, when I felt like I was being manipulated, I took screencaps of it and I sent it into a local journalist and said, like, this isn't a story, but for background, when you eventually are writing about how there's a new push from the people who have stadium interests to, like, you know, and this wasn't too long, I think, after they had kind of swept that whole area. And there's some sketching about the legality of what they did before the. Before the All Star Game that was here a couple of years ago. And it's just like it was wrapped up in a bunch of stuff I feel pretty passionately about. And it felt real scummy to me. It was like a push pull, a pitch push, pull.

[Luke Burbank]

So, okay, see, I think that. Well, first of all, that I hear what you're saying, and that sounds pretty shady. I guess part of my thing is I have always assumed that all of these things just. Just fall into just a complete chasm after you do them anyway. Like, in other words, maybe not so much that Mariners one, which again, you're right, is a manipulative thing to get a certain outcome. But I mean, just like, how Is your fast growingtrees.com user experience? I just always assume that if I were to take the time to do it, it actually makes no difference. But maybe that's an incorrect assumption on my part because maybe so few people actually do take these things that maybe it does matter and maybe I can try to use it more so as a tool for good. In other words, when I do have a good experience, like I was on, I was in a whole situation with Etsy. Do you ever buy anything from Etsy? Is that where you got your record player case from?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I got that from Downtone Records. But I. I have bought things from Etsy, but it's been a really long time. Really long time.

[Luke Burbank]

Etsy is really complicated because it's so folksy, but I think it's probably one of the largest. Just, it's a. It's a behemoth of online retail now, and it's not Just somebody made a thing at their house. It is a little bit, but mostly it's somebody made a thing at a place in India. You know, as my experience having bought things through Etsy, I think that the, the idea behind Etsy was, you know, small, you know, small businesses and people who are crafting and making things by hand would have a way to sell their stuff. And I'm sure that is still a section of Etsy, but I think it's kind of grown well beyond that into just being a place where pretty large operations, oftentimes overseas can, you know, sell you something that's not particularly expensive. But all that is to say, I ordered a rug like a runner. And for some reason, because of the vagaries of the. I don't know if it's the Shopify app or the shop, somehow it wanted to send this to my old apartment in Brooklyn. We're going way back here.

[Andrew Walsh]

You must have ordered something. And I don't even know, way back.

[Luke Burbank]

In the day, I must have ordered something from etsy, you know, 20 years ago in Brooklyn. And I've certainly ordered stuff since then. But this is what's weird about all these, like, frictionless purchasing things. You know, I'm trying to buy this rug and it is. But the way that I, whatever I clicked on to pay is associated with this old address of mine for whatever reason. And so I click, you know, whatever, and then it's like, all right, thanks for your order. And I immediately go, oh, no, wait, it's going to Brooklyn. That's not gonna work. So I, I, I email them. I email the seller like, hey, this is not my address of my, my other. Here's my real address. I don't hear back from them. And then I'm just getting these updates. I try to go to Etsy and I'm like, hey, it's going to go to the wrong address. And they're like, take it up with the seller. And I'm like. And by when I say they say that, I don't even mean a human is chatting with me. I mean, the bots are, you know, the bots are outmaneuvering me so I can't get to a human just to click on this link for my orders. But this thing I ordered is not in my orders because it hasn't been delivered yet. You know, I mean, it's just like that kind of run around, like once it's been delivered, then you can file a report. And I'm like, I don't want to file a Report. I just want this to come to my house, where I live, instead of going to a brownstone in Brooklyn with like nine people living in different sections. We're gonna be like, free rug.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right?

[Luke Burbank]

And then just to. Just to sort of ice the cake. Like, I'm just. I keep getting these updates from, you know, FedEx. Your. Your rug is almost there, Luke. I'm like, yeah, enjoy it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, Brooklyn.

[Luke Burbank]

And so I end up. But I can't get anyone to. So finally, I guess it gets delivered. And then the other morning I just, I was up pretty early and I was just like, this ends now. And I was like, I just went from, like, I had all this pent up frustration that was like feeling like I wasn't being heard, feeling like these systems don't actually allow you as the customer, any sort of relief. And so, like, I'm chatting with some. I finally get a human I'm chatting with on Etsy and I'm like, I need to. This is delivered to the wrong address. And I tried to stop it and I want my money back. Back. And then. And they're like, okay, well, here's how you, you know, log in. And I'm like, that's not working. And then I'm also, at the same time, I'm. I found a way to message the seller. And I'm like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna challenge this on my credit card if you won't. You know, I'm just like, I've gone from a zero to hot. I'm coming in super hot. And then all of a sudden it's like, ping, ping. And it's like, in my email, I'm getting a thing from Etsy, which is a notification that the seller who's in literally like, like Pakistan or something is like, hello, we've refunded your money. Apologies for the confused. And then ping. The person I'm chatting with on Etsy is like, etsy has officially refunded your money. And it's like all of a sudden I just have my money back. And now I just don't even know what to do with my emotions.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, Etsy has, you know, this is a thing. This is a little bit. Yeah, I think this is the same thing. Like, I am somebody who has a really hard time with confrontation and standing up for myself. And then there are, There are times when I do that and I get what I want and then I feel awful. And I mean, this goes. I feel like. I wish I could give you an example. I'm not Trying to be cagey here, but I feel like there were things at work way back at New Hampshire Public Radio 20 years ago where I would like kind of like, like kind of make a. But you know me, when I get frustrated, I don't think I'm at my most articulate. When am I? When am I? Is really the question there. But like I think I can get in my head because I'm not great with confrontation or standing up for myself, that my wires get a little bit scrambled in those situations so that I'm not really proud of how I. I maybe came off. And I don't know how I come off in all of them. But then when somebody's like okay, yeah, we can go your way, then I'm like, oh shit, why was such a jerk? God damn.

[Luke Burbank]

That's where I felt. And again I had to remind myself the person responding to me from literally across the globe is not taking this personally. When I say if I. If I cannot get a hold of someone, I will be. By the way, I don't even know how to challenge it. On my credit card it was like a hundred dollars. Probably the credit card would side with them. They'd probably say, I don't know. We sent it to the address that was listed in the purchase order. Like that was an empty threat. But it was like, I was just so like, I was like, I'm gonna friggin Sally Field. Not without my daughter.

[Andrew Walsh]

This shit.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm go. I will go to Lahore, Pakistan and rattle some cages if I have to. And then they're like yeah, the money's back in your account. I was like oh, okay, well it's 7:20am what do I do next?

[Andrew Walsh]

What do I do with the rest of my time? I am looking this up. I have a quiz question for you. Who plays? And I had to, I had to look it up because I couldn't. I could picture his face, but I couldn't quite remember his name. Who plays the abusive husband in Not Without My Daughter? It is a name that you would know.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, now here is where, here's where I'm wondering if this gets ethnically complicated because is the idea that Sally Field's daughter has married someone who is in a different country.

[Andrew Walsh]

I believe family fields. I feel the whole thing. I've never seen the whole thing my understand but I've seen parts of it which is why I want to ask you this. If you knew who the devil. But I believe she is an American who married in somebody American I want to say. But then Went over there for a while to live, but then kind of she and her daughter get caught under is a custody battle because she has no rights over there as a woman. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

So, but I guess my. I guess what I'm worried about is it is a non Iranian person playing an Iranian.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that's a good point.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, is it Craig T. Nelson?

[Andrew Walsh]

It is Craig T. Nelson. It is Alfred Molina.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, okay. I'll allow it, Andrew. I am the arbiter of these things. Alfred Molina. I mean, Alfred Molina's greatest role, of course, without a doubt, is.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, wait, hold on. Alfred Molina's greatest role. I picture him as sort of like he just pops up in a line of things. He was in that weird Trump parody movie from Comedy Central that was Spiked. Remember that?

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't know about that on the show.

[Andrew Walsh]

I. This is years and years of years ago, before he was ever even president. But he was about to become president. I think anyway, that that's a whole thing about that. But I had to download it illegally because it was spiked from everywhere. Like, wow, this is like 20, 2014.

[Luke Burbank]

Or was that an outgrowth of that, of that show that they started doing where the guy was being Trump?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, it was Johnny Depp playing Trump. Whoa, you don't remember this? We talked about not remember Trump movie. Hold on, I'm still wondering. Donald Trump's the Art of the Deal. So they remade like they called it the Art of the Deal the movie, but it was a parody and it made fun of him. Is it, oh, 2016. I'm sorry, 2016American parody film by Funny or Die. So I got a lot of things wrong here. I said 2014 and I said it was Comedy Central. It was Funny or Die, the satire of Trump, loosely based on this book, but obviously it was a send up and it had a hell of a cast. Johnny Depp, Jack McBrayer, Pat Oswalt, Alfred Molina, Henry Winkler, Ron Funches, Andy Richter. Like, the list goes on and on and on. But I'm pretty sure it was spiked and scrubbed because of the fear of lawsuits.

[Luke Burbank]

That's wild. Because like you would think back then it was a simpler time, Andrew. And you would think that like, you know, even Funny or Die would be like, what are you gonna do? You know, what are you gonna sue us? Like, like sue me for what? Like that I would absolutely, unfortunately see this happening now. In other words, the, the such a. Paul has been cast over content and it is so obvious that this administration has zero respect for any sort of norms that I definitely would See, a network now not airing something that they thought was going to be, you know, getting them in the crosshairs of this administration. I would not have thought so all the way back then, because we foolishly would have thought, well, what can he really do?

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, it is weird though, that when you said, what's hell for Molina's most.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, you mean the unreleased Spiked project, that you might be the only person who saw it.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's how I am with. And we will get back to Molina. But that's how I am with Michael Shannon too. You know the actor Michael Shannon?

[Luke Burbank]

Of course. You might be REM enthusiast.

[Andrew Walsh]

You might know. That's right. He covers some REM songs. Yeah, but I know him. This is like kind of an ongoing joke in our house. I know him from a movie called Pottersville, which is like.

[Luke Burbank]

Is that like a counterfactual history of its wonderful life?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, but it is a holiday. At least holiday time movie. It's got him. It's got actually somewhat stacked cast. And it's about a guy who, I believe his wife leaves him and then he gets drunk. It's like a very small town, and he gets drunk in the back room of the small store in the small town, accidentally puts on a Sasquatch costume, wanders around the woods drunk. Somebody sees him and then it becomes this whole rumor that there's a Sasquatch. So he continues to dress up like a Sasquatch. I love this. And wander around the town and I always think, oh, Michael Shannon. Who's that guy? Genevieve? What's his name? He's from the Sasquatch movie. She's like, he's from Boardwalk Empire.

[Luke Burbank]

He's from Agent Van Alden.

[Andrew Walsh]

So many more popular things than Pottersville. Have you looked up Pottersville, by the way?

[Luke Burbank]

No, but I haven't because I'm still in Molina Town. But I have to guess that that is a sly reference to the fact that in It's a Wonderful Life, when Jimmy Stewart was not born, Bedford Falls is called Potter's.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I mean, that's got to be.

[Luke Burbank]

Just like a very subtle.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm sure Judy Greer is the per. And Thomas Lennon, Ron Coleman, Christina Hendricks.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I mean, what a cast. I'm gonna watch that. I'm gonna watch that movie Huddersville.

[Andrew Walsh]

And the Art of the Deal parody. That was spiked. That's weird. Things to review. So what is Alfred Molina's best role?

[Luke Burbank]

I have, in my opinion, stalling.

[Andrew Walsh]

I've been stalling. He's not in Lebowski, is he? Although I could see.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you're in your. It's a different auteur.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, but it's.

[Luke Burbank]

But it's, it's. It's a. It's one of the, like, I would say like four main auteurs of our time. And it's. I'll narrow it down for you. It's not Quentin Tarantino and it's not the Coen brothers. Okay, who's that leaving?

[Andrew Walsh]

So that. Is it us and. Nope. Is it.

[Luke Burbank]

Nope. It's not Jordan Peele.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's not Jordan Peele. So that. It's not the Coen brothers. Oh, and is it. Is it Bat? Is it Batman?

[Luke Burbank]

No, it's not Christopher Nolan.

[Andrew Walsh]

I wasn't thinking. I think 89 Batman.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not Tim Burton.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's not Burton. Okay. I'm trying to think of the other auteurs. I don't know. I'm. I'm out.

[Luke Burbank]

Give me the direct Paul Thomas Anderson film.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, okay.

[Luke Burbank]

It is Boogie Nights where he plays a coked up weirdo who's got this other guy just lighting firecrackers in the room the whole scene.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's so coked up in it. Now that's not the same scene or that's near the time where they're screaming on the phone. There are tapes. What's on the tapes is ours, right?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Well, that's later, I think. I don't. You know what? I'm. I'm forgetting the exact timeline. I think it's around. It's when it's as. Things are really falling apart for our boy, you know, Eddie Adams from Torrance. Dirk, AKA Dirk Diggler, AKA John C. Riley, AKA Chest Rockwell, I think might be his name. Yes, but like it's. It's definitely at that part of the movie where things are going off the rails. They're trying to. He's trying to release the. You got the touch. And then I think it's Michael Penn is playing the record guy who's not going to give them the tapes and all of that. But this is where they're just. For some reason, they're at Alfred Molina's. I don't know if they're trying to get drugs or do something. But the thing. And I'm going to play a little bit of. Oh, there's probably so much music in here that we don't have the rights to. I'll just. We'll just see where this goes. But it's. By the way, it starts with a close up, a push in on a cassette player. And it Says my awesome mixtape number six is playing in Alfred Molina's house. Oh, whoops. Okay, there's a firecracker. Cosmo Chinese.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's why life's letting out firecrackers, huh?

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, Jesse's girl.

[Andrew Walsh]

Jesse is a friend.

[Luke Burbank]

Just. He's smoking some sort of. Some sort of terrible drug and the kid is just lighting off firecrackers and he's just dancing around to Rick Springfield. It is one of the more high stress movie scenes I've ever seen. I believe at some point he's just kind of like got a gun in his hand that he's just like. It's very weird with. It is just the.

[Andrew Walsh]

The.

[Luke Burbank]

The overtones are just so intense.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, basically it's. That movie does follow the kind of narrative. I mean, I like that movie better than the types of movies it sort of mirrors. If not mirror, but you know, that narrative arc of rise to fame. But then like, basically at the peak of that arc, cocaine is introduced, or at least massive amounts of cocaine are introduced. And then that's when things really start falling apart.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, you're right. It is like. And I think probably Paul Thomas Anderson is so smart that he understands that he's engaging in a very sort of tropey way to tell the story, but he's doing it intentionally. But you're right. I mean, that's like the arc of Boogie Nights is an arc that many a character has followed in many a movie of obscurity to achieving higher heights than they ever expected, to finding themselves in situations they never intended to finding themselves at the sort of absolute rock bottom of life.

[Andrew Walsh]

If you find. If you can find VH1 behind the music that focuses on Motley Crue, and you take the narrative arc of that and you line it up like a sine wave over the narrative arc of.

[Luke Burbank]

That movie, they're going to line up perfectly. Map onto that. But anyway, that's a little Alfred Molina talk for you. All that is to say, as we wrap things up here. And by the way, oh, I got to do.

[Andrew Walsh]

I forgot about blurs days.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, we got to do blurs days.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think I got to do blurs days directly from my email because I don't think I. Crap.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my. This is gonna be a messy blur. Hold on, let me light off some firecrackers.

[Andrew Walsh]

Where's the cocaine?

[Luke Burbank]

This is whatever it takes, buddy. Whatever it takes. So let me just. I'll set this up for the listeners. Now, generally speaking, when we do the blurses you have gone through, you know, and by the way, you do have a blurs day message you'd like to wish somebody or yourself or Alfred Molina. You can send andrewbtl.net a message and put blurs days in the subject line.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. And usually I compile them all.

[Luke Burbank]

You compile them. You edit them for length and clarity. Not unlike a New York Times sit down.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

And usually it's a bit of a process. And it sounds like today folks are going to get the. I'm going to use a word that I don't actually. It's not the word. But are they getting the unexpurgated version of what is. Let's just find out what I'm buying you some time too.

[Andrew Walsh]

I thought you were just going to say. Well, never mind.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I not. I was not going to make a drug.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, no. I was gonna. I was gonna sing an old dirty bastard lyric that occurred to me. If I say that in a microphone, it's out there forever. I'm not singing that.

[Luke Burbank]

God made dirt and dirt bust your ass.

[Andrew Walsh]

Expurgated. What does that mean?

[Luke Burbank]

It's of a text or account having an objectionable or unsuitable matter removed. Well, in a kind of expurgated. It's the unexpurgated version. So like. No, this would be the expurgated version.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, well, if you.

[Luke Burbank]

Because if you were. If you were. If you had unexpurgated. That you had taken out. I don't know. Did I buy you enough time to.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, I. I was trying. Well, I was also. Yeah, I got my email open. I'm going to fire the sounder here and we're just going to do this. Love it right from the email. There's a right way to rock, a wrong way to roll. You can't just listen into your soul. Just remember that life is number one. You can be having so much fun. Just remember that life is much fun. You can be nothing but. Okay, I'm going to start here with. With my spam folder because sometimes blurs days end up in the spam folder accidentally. I see there is a legit email in here from a listener that did get caught in the spam folder. It's not a blurs day message. We also explain that. Got an email. Phone addiction is real and it's impacting young people. There's a chance we could get a guest on the show too.

[Luke Burbank]

That's from me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's right. Wait, why are you pitching yourself on tbtl? That's very strange.

[Luke Burbank]

The only way I can get my stories in. Andrew, we could all.

[Andrew Walsh]

There's also a pitch for faster, smarter podcasting. Oh, buddy, that's not the brand. That is not the brand. Okay, so now back to the. It looks like the good news is there aren't too many blurs days today or I'm missing them. We're gonna start with this one from Toby. This is. Again, I apologize, I have not put eyes on any of these yet. But this is from Toby in tenver who says if you get a chance, I would be so thankful for you guys to recognize. Recognize my BFF Corbin on his blurs day, which is actually today the 20th. Corbin is one of the best humans I've ever encountered. Smartest, funniest, cleverest, best dad to Oliver, husband to Hannah, friend to many, and most importantly, introduce me to tbtl, for which I will be eternally grateful. Heck yeah. I thought he was gonna say eternally peeved. I love you so. And happiest blursey to you. Love, Tobe and Dave. All right, sweet happy blurs day to Corbin. All right, I gotta swell the music.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

Marshall says happy birthday to my amazing girlfriend Louisa. If all goes according to plan, will be hearing this whilst road tripping around Iceland. Whoa, Iceland. Having spent last night. Got it in an igloo dome hotel under the stars. I'm praying that the northern lights gods come through for us on your birthday. That's from Marshall in Amsterdam.

[Luke Burbank]

I remember. I remember Marshall. I've met Marshall before. And clearly Marshall did not take my advice about Iceland, which I said, avoid it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that's right.

[Luke Burbank]

That was a avoid it like an icy, icy plague. But Marshall took your advice. You love Iceland. At least that one part of the airport. With shadows. With the shadow play.

[Andrew Walsh]

How'd you like ice?

[Luke Burbank]

Shadows by the Sbarro were incredible.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wow, look at this. From Michelle says happy blurs day to my partner and husband, Mike. You are my favorite person in life and I'm always amazed at how much you do for me and our son Cal. As we await our second baby arriving in two weeks. I know there's my wife I would rather take this journey with again. Love, Michelle. Congratulations. Sweet and happy blurs to day to month with the baby.

[Luke Burbank]

That's the sound they make.

[Andrew Walsh]

I will say. So far I have been blessed with some messages here. Fairly straightforward messages. Not. Yeah, not too long. All right, here we go. Yeah. Here's a last minute one coming in from Josh, Elliott, Ben and Earl, Happy 40th Blurs Day to my amazing wife Karen. We celebrated 20 years together in the fall, which means we've officially. Whoa. Officially.

[Luke Burbank]

20 years together.

[Andrew Walsh]

At 40 years together, when you know, you know. Yeah, it says, which means we've officially spent more of our lives together than apart. Genevieve and I just crossed that Rubicon ourselves. Or at least I did, because we've been together. We did the math. We've been together for 24 years. And I'm 48 years old, which means I've officially spent half of my life with Genevieve, which is actually lovely to think about. And I'm glad that you guys are thinking about that too. Let's see here. This is about Karen, though. She is so smart, fierce, and beautiful and the person that makes me feel whole in the world.

[Luke Burbank]

Come on, now you're making us look bad.

[Andrew Walsh]

She's an amazing mom to our two boys, Elliot and Ben. You have to say something here, Luke. Cause I have to cough.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, I'm playing Elliot's favorite sound effect, which is this one.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's perfect timing. Thank you, Kat. She was an amazing mom to our two boys, Elliot and Ben. And the chief movement officer keeping this family circus going every day. Day. Here's to a fun and flirty 40s. We love you endlessly from Josh, Elliott, Ben, and had an email here from somebody who says, santa has died. That's not a blurs day. That's an anti blurs day. Oh, wow.

[Luke Burbank]

Breaking news.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, that's. That's Biff Whiff. That's Biff Whiff.

[Luke Burbank]

Sure.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Lieutenant Crashmore.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, exactly. Rip. I think that's it. We got a podcast sponsorship opportunity here that I think I'll ignore. Happy Blurs Day, everybody.

[Luke Burbank]

Happy blurs.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, Daniel. Daniel Koontz wants to know that wintergreen is my favorite mint, and it's green, so.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

All right. That's just kind of fun.

[Luke Burbank]

I like. I like the dynamism of it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Again, it's.

[Luke Burbank]

I'd said that that Boogie Night scene was one of the more ominous scenes in film, but that was one of the more ominous scenes in podcast.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm over here. I'm sweating.

[Luke Burbank]

Just diving. Diving headfirst into various Blurs Day messages without any getting eyes on them before. So that went pretty well.

[Andrew Walsh]

Very exciting.

[Luke Burbank]

We should do that every week.

[Andrew Walsh]

Tightrope walking there. Yeah. All right. Is that where we leave the dates?

[Luke Burbank]

That's it. We do still have one more show we talk about. What didn't we talk about? You know, we didn't talk about is that tonight I'm doing a whole other radio show between now and tomorrow's TBTL Livewire tonight at the Alberta Rose Theater. Maybe I'll see you there. In the meantime, for the rest of yous, we will be right back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you. So please do join us for that. Let's. Let's celebrate that Friday together tomorrow here on tbtl. In the meantime, have a great Thursday, take care of yourselves, and please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to all. Power out.