#4409 The Cruddy Kid

Summary

TBTL Episode #4409: "The Cruddy Kid" – Detailed Summary

Release Date: February 24, 2025
Hosts: Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh
Podcast: TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

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1. Introduction and Tipping Dilemma (00:01 – 05:00)

The episode opens with the hosts engaging in their characteristic playful banter. Luke introduces the main topic by recounting his recent experience with tipping at a local pizza restaurant. He shares his frustration with the tipping system, especially after ordering a substantial pizza worth $41 plus additional fees, and ultimately deciding not to tip.

Luke Burbank (03:07): "I think I'm in the right. I'm not gonna say what the company is, but let's just say..."

Andrew Walsh (03:43): "Yeah. What were we talking about tips last week? It wasn't tipping over things, was it?"

2. The Complexities of Modern Tipping and Minimum Wage (05:00 – 15:00)

Luke delves into the intricacies of the current tipping culture, particularly in Seattle. He discusses the impact of rising minimum wages, now reportedly at $19.25 per hour, and how businesses are shifting additional costs to consumers through processing fees and altered tipping prompts. The hosts debate whether tipping should continue in an environment where employees are already earning a living wage.

Luke Burbank (13:00): "And so as we are paying folks $20 an hour and that's... I do think so."

Andrew Walsh (20:31): "If we are paying people $20 an hour and we're still tipping, that doesn't seem like a bad gig."

3. Frozen Pizza Hacks and Preferences (07:00 – 09:30)

The conversation shifts to their personal preferences and methods for enhancing frozen pizzas. Andrew advocates for thin-crust frozen pizzas, believing they offer a better experience by eliminating the problematic thick crust. Meanwhile, Luke prefers a slightly buttery crust and shares his techniques for adding spices and fresh ingredients like oregano, red pepper flakes, and fresh basil to improve the flavor.

Andrew Walsh (07:28): "I feel like the crust is... the thinner the crust, the better the chances are that you'll have a good experience."

Luke Burbank (08:33): "I just want a little bit of buttery crust... some oregano, definitely some red pepper flakes."

4. Rising Cost of Groceries and Personal Spending Habits (09:30 – 18:00)

Luke shares his growing awareness and frustration with rising grocery costs, exemplified by his recent experience buying expensive sumo oranges and pasture-raised eggs. Both hosts lament the increasing prices of everyday items and discuss how this affects their shopping behaviors, with Luke opting for cheaper frozen options and Andrew taking a more strategic approach to finding deals.

Luke Burbank (29:15): "These are on some great markdown... but I just paid $20 for four oranges."

Andrew Walsh (44:40): "I did buy something, and it turned out to be exactly what it has all been about."

5. Listener Stories: Embarrassing Condom Mishaps (74:44 – 80:52)

The episode includes contributions from anonymous listeners who share humorous and embarrassing stories involving condoms. Luke narrates a listener’s tale of inadvertently dropping an open condom at Wendy’s, while Andrew reflects on his own experiences with condom distribution during his youth. These stories add a lighthearted and relatable element to the discussion.

Listener (74:44): "Valentine's Day, 1990... the condom itself was stuck to the corner of my wallet."

Luke Burbank (80:52): "I never darkened the door of that Wendy's again. Anonymous listener."

6. Reflections on Reality TV and Media Consumption (18:00 – 40:00)

The hosts transition to discussing their views on reality TV, particularly shows like "Passions" and "Lockup Louisville." They express skepticism about the portrayal of individuals in incarceration settings and the impact of reality TV on public perception. Andrew shares his admiration for a poignant episode of "Lockup Louisville," highlighting its balanced depiction of life behind bars.

Andrew Walsh (62:36): "It was a moment of real emotion that I swear to God, like, I don’t know the last time I saw an unscripted TV show where this kind of thing happened."

Luke Burbank (60:28): "We're only playing new stuff. It's complicated Boys."

7. Personal Anecdotes: Shaving and Puberty (73:22 – 85:56)

Luke and Andrew reminisce about their teenage years, specifically their awkward experiences with shaving and puberty. Luke recounts his embarrassed trip to buy shaving cream, while Andrew shares his unsuccessful attempt at growing a mustache during a Movember campaign. These personal stories add depth to their candid conversations.

Luke Burbank (84:29): "She teased me... 'it looks like you're going to be up to no good.'"

Andrew Walsh (85:38): "I eventually had to dye the blonde little baby hairs with like a Just for Men."

8. Supporter Messages and Community Appreciation (38:44 – 74:07)

The hosts acknowledge and thank their listeners and donors, notably Cinder Conlin, who shares heartfelt messages about how the podcast has impacted her life. They emphasize the importance of community support in keeping the show running and express gratitude towards their audience.

Andrew Walsh (49:03): "Continuing with Cinder's message... you guys, John and all of the tens for creating a space that makes me happy."

Luke Burbank (38:44): "And then you send it to me. I'll be like, did I talk about this on the show?"

9. Closing Thoughts and Well-Wishes (80:52 – End)

As the episode wraps up, Andrew discusses his recent health issues, specifically a bout of nausea and a lingering stomach bug, while Luke shares amusing thoughts about his own scrambled egg-making rituals influenced by a new girlfriend. They conclude with positive affirmations and well-wishes for their listeners.

Andrew Walsh (80:52): "I'm doing better today. I'm on the mend."

Luke Burbank (100:52): "Take care of yourselves and please remember, no mountain too tall."

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Key Insights and Discussions

• Tipping Culture vs. Living Wage: The hosts critically examine the sustainability of tipping in the context of rising minimum wages, questioning whether it's fair to continue tipping when employees are already earning a decent wage.

• Cost of Living Concerns: Both Luke and Andrew express their frustrations with the increasing costs of everyday items like groceries, highlighting how inflation affects personal budgets and spending habits.

• Media Consumption Habits: Their discussion on reality TV reflects a broader commentary on how media shapes perceptions and the quality of content that resonates with them personally.

• Personal Growth and Social Awkwardness: Through their anecdotes about shaving and condom mishaps, the hosts provide relatable insights into navigating adolescence and adult social norms.

• Community and Support: The episode underscores the importance of listener support, fostering a sense of community and mutual appreciation between the hosts and their audience.

Notable Quotes

• On Tipping:

  "I feel like I was in my right to do this... I couldn't put down another $10 on this pizza." — Luke Burbank (17:21)

• On Minimum Wage:

  "If we are paying people $20 an hour and we're still tipping, that doesn't seem like a bad gig." — Andrew Walsh (20:31)

• On Grocery Costs:

  "I just paid $20 for four oranges." — Luke Burbank (29:15)

• On Reality TV:

  "It was a moment of real emotion... I've been impressed with the people behind the show not making it like people in jail are awful humans who should be locked up." — Andrew Walsh (62:36)

• On Community Support:

  "Thanks, you guys, John and all of the tens for creating a space that makes me happy." — Andrew Walsh (49:03)

Conclusion

Episode #4409 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live offers a blend of humorous banter, thoughtful discussions on societal issues like tipping and living wages, personal anecdotes, and reflections on media consumption. Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh engage their audience with relatable content, insightful commentary, and genuine appreciation for their community, making it a compelling listen for both regular followers and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

You know, there are no secrets in.

[Andrew Walsh]

A town like this.

[Luke Burbank]

I know all about you, former detective Adrian Monk. Heard you were asking about me. You want to ask me something, you go right ahead.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

What's back there? Let me guess.

[Andrew Walsh]

Fields of reefer.

[Luke Burbank]

Fields of reefer? What kind of cop were you?

[Andrew Walsh]

You know what I mean, Ditchweed. Boo. The old Alibaba.

[Luke Burbank]

What makes you think that I'd actually.

[Andrew Walsh]

Magic Dragon. Bumbalachi. Yellow submarine. Black bark. Dr. Giggles. Kentucky blue. You know what I'm talking about.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm talking about Railroad weed.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. The Devil's Parsley. Skunk. Splim.

[Luke Burbank]

Splam.

[Andrew Walsh]

Mooster.

[Luke Burbank]

TBTL. Well, well, here we are. I want to congratulate you for being on time.

[Andrew Walsh]

I would just like to start by saying that I don't even care how this turns out, because I'm just gonna eat hot dogs.

[Luke Burbank]

And so that's all I really care about.

[Andrew Walsh]

56 pounds of beef. That corresponds to I don't know what five or six year old kid. For the sake of customer service, try to chill out my mom. I'm the Scatman. Skibby Dibby Dib. Yo da da da. Yo da da da.

[Luke Burbank]

What kind of disco dancing nonsense is going on here?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome everyone to a Monday edition of tb, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Here we go again. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. The word that comes to mind is ludicrous. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia, where it's still raining out here, but didn't know you like to get wet. Though we are apparently reaching the end of the atmospheric river that's sweeping through or flowing through the region maybe. And we are looking forward to some warmer weather soon. Soon, and very soon, we will be springing ahead. The sun will be setting after 7pm it's gonna be a whole new world around here. And I promise you, I am ready for it. Hope you're ready for episode 4409 in a collector series, Let the fun begin. I sound a little loopy this morning. A little more out of it than normal. I started a new weight routine this morning here at the Madrona Hill Studio. Really? I'm trying to build my beef castle. It's has me feeling very, very exhausted. Exhausted in a different kind of way than I might normally feel after some exercise. So anyway, I'm gonna push forward and tell you about my weekend. Maybe part of it is because I was under the weather this weekend, actually. It's a little feeling, kind of not. Not so great. And that allowed me to reconnect with a television practice that I hadn't done in years. I love te. I gotta have that thing on 24. 7. I love the patter, frankly. It was a really. Other than being sick, it was a really fun Saturday, which we'll talk about. And we'll talk to this guy, longest running co. Bro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships.

[Luke Burbank]

Hello.

[Andrew Walsh]

Did you say hello?

[Luke Burbank]

No, I said hello, but that's close enough.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Luke Burbank]

Good morning, Luke. I need a ruling on something on some of my behavior this weekend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

But first, I'm gonna give you about 5,000 words of, I guess, working the refs. Nice to win you over to my side, Luke. I didn't tip yesterday, and I'm feeling feelings about it, but I think I'm. I think I'm in the right. I'm not gonna say what the company is, but let's just say.

[Andrew Walsh]

So we're back to when we talk about tips. We're back to talking about tipping.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. What were we talking about tips last week? It wasn't tipping over things, was it?

[Andrew Walsh]

I think it was. I think it was tipping something over.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. I was like, finally the kind of tipping everybody wants to hear about.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Oh, it was lawnmowers.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, right. Tipping lawnmowers. Yes, exactly. Which does sound like a band from the 90s, if you didn't already remark about.

[Andrew Walsh]

They opened for Soul Asylum.

[Luke Burbank]

I saw them on First Avenue tipping lawnmowers. Oh, God, they had that one hit, like most of their stuff wasn't for me, a little too bass heavy. But they had that one hit that was so fun.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now that's what I Call Music. Two 90s editions, right. Has that industry been decimated? And by industry, I mean that one. I mean somebody made a lot of money off of. Now that's what I'm calling music. And it's just completely. It's been totally sort of, I guess. What's the word I'm looking for? Invalidated or rendered unnecessary. But the compilation CD, is it just.

[Luke Burbank]

Now that's Music 2010s. Let's just see what we get here. Now that's what I call a decade. 2010s. I think this is people drafting. I don't think this is. I don't know if you can. Oh, well, you can get something called now that's What I call a decade 2000 and tens with very similar branding. So I can get it for $12 on a CD right now if you want MP3, a cool 7.99. I don't know if you're interested.

[Andrew Walsh]

I. I mean, we've been talking about vinyl. By the way, my record player gets delivered today. Andrew, I am free and psyched. Okay, so back to your lack of tipping. Spare no detail. Where were you? What was happening?

[Luke Burbank]

So I'm going to. Like I think I said, but just in case I didn't finish my thought, I'm going to leave the name of the specific restaurant out of this because it's a restaurant that I actually. Mostly just because I'm embarrassed, frankly. I don't know. It was not Spiros, but it was.

[Andrew Walsh]

Always in a relationship with tipping. It's heroes.

[Luke Burbank]

That's why it's a situationship with me in Spiros. It's awkward. It's awkward. No, it is a pizza place, though. Kind of a nicer pizza.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, honestly, let's. I had a 50% chance of being right.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, well, I mean. Well, the funny thing is, is now, now we're getting too much detail here. I actually don't order pizz much anymore. I mean, there was a time when I was. It's not that I'm not eating pizza, but like, honestly, I'm just buying shitty frozen pizzas because I kind of got cheap in my old age. Like, the delivery apps add so much money and they're also just part of that whole. I don't know, I just have a lot of issues with the delivery apps that from a local level and some sort of legislation around them and their lobbying efforts. I feel like they're not. I don't really like them. And also they're just so expensive and a ripoff and they just keep adding fees. I was like, you know what? I'll just get out of the habit of having food delivered. I'll go pick up a pizza if I want one. Or what that really turned into was me not eating very good pizza anymore and just getting like frozen pizza and eating it at midnight.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do not, you know, look into the Red Baron's politics.

[Luke Burbank]

The Red Baron, I mean, it's right.

[Andrew Walsh]

There in the name.

[Luke Burbank]

Problematic. Problematic. But. Oh, shoot, I'm forgetting what is friend of the show pizza company, Mike.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, Wild Mike.

[Luke Burbank]

Wild Mike's.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wild Mike's is great.

[Luke Burbank]

I wanted to say Mad. Mad Mike's, but no, no, wildly. He had his W. And I'm wishing.

[Andrew Walsh]

The best for him, he's been 5150 and but I think he's getting the help he needs.

[Luke Burbank]

What if him and the Red Baron.

[Andrew Walsh]

Ever, Red Barrett, are being held somewhere?

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. So I do get a lot of frozen pizza and pizza these days.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'd like to talk about that at some point as well. I know you're trying to get to the story about tipping, but I'm curious if you have developed some hacks for zhuzhing up your frozen pizzas a little bit, doing anything to. Or the kind that you buy. Because there is certainly like you can have a pretty decent frozen pizza experience and you can have a kind of especially not great one. And it comes down to. I have some theories on this.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, let's talk about that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I go thin crust personally because I think the crust is the most difficult problem to be solved with a pizza that is frozen. But then I cook it at my house, but then it tastes pretty good. I feel like the crust is. And I haven't had. I haven't been buying regular crust frozen pizza for a long time. Maybe they've greatly improved the technology, but I just, I've always felt like the thinner the crust, the better the chances are that you'll have a good experience because you're mostly eliminating one of the main pain points.

[Luke Burbank]

That's interesting. I think you and I are a little different there. I don't. I'm with you that a bad super thick crust is no good. But I'm not usually going for super thin crust because I like a little bit of a buttery crust. And so I'm looking up the brands now because I can picture it, but I can't think of it as freshetta is what I think I get. They have the square pizzas too, which is a big appeal to me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Detroit style, right?

[Luke Burbank]

It can be. Although I do think Detroit style does have a much thicker crust. I think I could be totally wrong about this.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, it does. It has a thick crust.

[Luke Burbank]

This is not like I wouldn't. I wouldn't get that. I would not trust a freezer. Never trust a freezer feast thick crust pizza.

[Andrew Walsh]

Never trust her big crust and smile.

[Luke Burbank]

There you go.

[Andrew Walsh]

That girl is poison.

[Luke Burbank]

Appreciate that. I'm just going to stall and throw things up.

[Andrew Walsh]

I pray to God somebody out there who, who remembers that. That Bell Biv Devo song about that joke because I was pretty proud of that.

[Luke Burbank]

But anyway, yeah, it's. It's like a. It's not a super thin CR on a super Thick crust, but it is a square edged pizza. It's a square pizza with square slices.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you do any aftermarket modding to it?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, usually a little bit of oregano, definitely some, you know, red pepper flakes or whatever. And then sometimes trying to think I might put a little bit of thyme on there. There's like a couple of brown dry spices that I'll hit a little bit on there. But what about you? You're actually putting ingredients on like olives and stuff, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, my big black olive adder. Now that I have a Costco membership, I'm. I'm the owner of about 40 cans of large extra ripe black olives because that's the amount that you can buy them in. So I will usually throw on a little more cheese and some black olives. Maybe if I've got some basil around, I'll do a little zhuzh there with.

[Luke Burbank]

You mean fresh basil, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, fresh basil.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Or even if, even if I just had some kind of dry stuff, I might throw that on. But mostly fresh basil.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, no, that sounds good.

[Andrew Walsh]

But yeah, but so anyway. Okay, so you're. Generally speaking, here's where we are in the story. You've not been going or ordering pizza to be delivered a whole lot, but you did find yourself at a pizza place.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, well, here, actually, I'll back up for a second here. So again, I don't want to say the name of this place, and this is already probably too much information, but let me just say that there is a pizza shop that is a little bit more of a higher end pizza shop that specializes in New York style and Chicago style pizzas. And I've been there a couple of times and I really like it. And I went to this gathering on Saturday that I mentioned to you on the show last week. A group of friends got together to play some games at the college club. And somebody had brought a couple of pizzas from this place. And it'd been a while since I had it. A couple of New York style pizzas. And I was like, damn, this is good. It's been a while. And I had one piece of pizza, but then I thought about it all day. And so on Sunday, Genevieve and I had plans to watch the newest episode of Succession on Sunday night. And I'm like, severance. I knew I was going to get that wrong. Thank you, Severance. And so I was like, you know what I have my pop up to do is a really rainy day yesterday. And so like I spent my, you know, morning or early afternoon kind of prepping for my pop up volunteer thing and then went and I did that for a couple of hours. It was actually kind of a. It was kind of a weird day. There's kind of ran into some issues. Almost couldn't open up the shed. The lock was broken, so almost didn't have pop up. I was panicking. Carried that panic with me throughout the rest of the day.

[Andrew Walsh]

The body keeps the score.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. And so anyway, the point is, like I had this idea for a really cozy night. I had to go to the grocery store, but I was like, what I'm going to do is when I'm done with pop up, we get everything put away. I'm going to hit the grocery store and then while I'm at the grocery store, I'm going to order a pizza from this place, get a big ass pizza, and I'll get home with my, with my groceries and this pizza and we'll be cozy at home and I'll take a shower and wash the rain off me and then we'll sit down and have a good old fashioned pizza and TV night. Love it. I haven't. Yeah, just. Just the ultimate coziness. And again, really looking forward to this pizza. And so I order the pizza exactly as planned in my car in the parking lot of the grocery store. Before I go grocery shopping. I have this thing planned out, timed out, right? And so I order the pizza. And it's one of their specialty pizzas. Like, I don't know, you know, it's a decent amount of toppings. It's a large pizza, you know, so it's pretty big. And again, it's a quality pizza. It's a good place. I love this place. I want to support them. Pizza ends up being $41 after tax, right. And so I'm kind of.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's what it costs, I guess.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Things are expensive. And again, this isn't, no offense to my old favorite, you know, was it chunkies that I used to go to on the Tub brother? No, not Tub Brothers. Chubb Brothers, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, not Chubb Brothers.

[Luke Burbank]

No, that sounds wrong.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's something like that. It's Chunky brothers on motorcycles riding next to each other. Guinness. No, it's.

[Luke Burbank]

It is all the time.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is it Chubb Brothers? It might be Chubb Brothers. It's a, it's a name that is, is, is if, you know, depending on how you're mentally inclined, it might not be an encouragement to order the people. Pudge brother.

[Luke Burbank]

I knew it wasn't. I'm looking it up Online, I'm getting results that we do not want. I'm like, no, not that kind of Chubb brother.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Anyway, no offense to my old favorite Pudge Brothers, but this isn't Pudge Brothers. Although the thing is, things are just expensive these days. And you keep on hearing about restaurants, you know, going out of business because things expensive, including the minimum wage, which is, you know, very, I think, generous, if not generous. I think it's fair here in Seattle because of the. Because of all the legislation that has passed, and I voted for all of those wage increases.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think the problem, Andrew, is that we have to pay people $15 an hour, not that 1% of American population has 80% of the wealth.

[Luke Burbank]

Right.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think it's definitely door number one.

[Luke Burbank]

And I do think so. Something just passed, and it was kind of close to. I really shouldn't go in this direction, but, like, you know, on the occasions that I was on, like, KUOW or, I would advocate vociferously for everybody having to follow this new law. There was some sort of a piece of legislation that small business owners were trying in restaurants, in particular, were trying to stonewall from going into effect. It was sort of a delayed piece of legislation for these small businesses. They had a year to get ready for it, and then the year came, and they're like, we don't want to do this anymore. And they have a more friendly city council and all this stuff. So, point is, it's pretty dialed in, as a casual observer, to the minimum wage conversation. I believe it is now up to, like, $19.25 in Seattle, and I believe everybody is paying that to their employees. And so that's just sort of background about that, because, again, we're going to be talking about tipping here. So I order this pizza, it's $41. And then right before the tip screen is kind of like, oh, and then we're going to add. And this is so cheap on my part. I realize how this sounds. But then they say, we're going to add the $50 processing fee for your credit card. And I was just kind of like, come on. Like, you know, like, that's one thing we're just seeing more and more. Maybe it's a Seattle thing. I'm not sure. But as. As there are more and more sort of business costs, they're itemizing everything so they can say, like, don't blame us. This is the credit card company. Don't blame us. This is the city council. Don't blame us. And so you're like, as you're ordering food these days, you kind of keep on going down this list of this fee and this charge. And this isn't even using the doordashes of the world, you know? So anyway, I order the pizza, 41. Then it's like, OK, up to 44 bucks or something with this little extra fee. And then it's like, okay, it's time to tip. And I noticed that they had it so that the most expensive was all the way to the left. And then it was like the opposite of how it's usually laid out. And it was like, you want to tip 35% or something like that. It wasn't quite 35, but it might have been 30 or something like that. And then it was like, you know, 25%. 20 and 15 or whatever. And as I was sitting there in my car, just soaking wet and just thinking, okay, I gotta get down there. I gotta stop. I gotta get gas on the way there. Cause I. The yellow light was on. I've been outside in the rain. I'm driving down there. I'm paying for the credit card fee. They've passed that along to me like we're paying a living wage. Like, I'm not tipping. Nobody's delivering it to me. Nobody's serving me. Nobody's bringing me a cup. I'm going in the rain to park, put on my hazards outside their store for two seconds. You know, I don't like parking illegally, Luke, but I do. I ran in, I grabbed the peach, and I was gone. I was like, I don't think. I don't think that's a 30 or even 15 tipping situation. So I didn't tip, but Luke did. I have problems making eye contact when.

[Andrew Walsh]

I went in there to pick up that pizza, because. I see. So you did all of this kind of payment beforehand?

[Luke Burbank]

I did all the payments.

[Andrew Walsh]

You weren't standing at the iPad.

[Luke Burbank]

No.

[Andrew Walsh]

There. Because that's the other one where I have a point. That's a tough one, too. Yeah. To go zero and then just, like, spin it around. Thankfully, I was a poker player for many years, so I've developed the internal fortitude to just absolutely bluff someone. Just like zero and then just turn it around. Your move.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. And so anyway, I assume that maybe this. I just. Here's the deal. I feel like I was in my right to do this. Bought a $45 pizza or whatever. Ended up being after. After. It was a great pizza. And again, I love this place. That's good. And I will continue to support them. And I have nothing bad to say about them, but I was just like.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't want you to give away where it is, but have they ever been out pizza'd?

[Luke Burbank]

They have.

[Andrew Walsh]

This place has been out pizza, though.

[Luke Burbank]

This place has been out pizza. So it is not the. It's not the small pizza concern that you are thinking of.

[Andrew Walsh]

All right.

[Luke Burbank]

However, you do get a free small pizza when you read 20 books. Oh, that dials it in a tiny book for you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Absolutely.

[Luke Burbank]

Here's the deal, though. Let me just say one more thing about this is. I feel, like, totally justified. When I came home, I told Genevieve this story. I said, forgive me, sister, for I have sinned.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm sure she was like, this is legit. Also. That's half a fubo.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my God. Yeah. You know, you and Kevin have made me. Have made me a jerk because Genevieve went to get her hair done this weekend, and she's like, that ended up being a lot more than I thought. And I said, how many months of fubo did your hair cost?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I told you I was working on her that one night when you were out with your other friend, and it was she and Camaro, Kevin and I out at. And Neil out at the shorties. I. It is my goal in life. If I have to start donating $80 a month to you, it's my goal to get you on fubo.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I mean, here's the deal. Like, I don't.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know you don't.

[Luke Burbank]

The truth of the matter is, I.

[Andrew Walsh]

As much as I do.

[Luke Burbank]

You had told me that you were kind of teasing Genevieve about not letting me get fubo or whatever, which is an $80 a month cable package or whatever. And I was joking because she. I had originally told her I was interested in doing that, and she was so sanguine about it, and I was just like, oh, my God. And then it turns out she wasn't listening closely. She thought it was $80 a year or something like that. Because. Because we are both living in 1990, apparently.

[Andrew Walsh]

But anyway, did she back you on your decision to forego the tip based on the.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I will say, though, when you were giving me a hard time about that, you did not tell me kind of your specific tactics. And I ran into Kamaro Kev last weekend. He was like, oh, yeah. We were sort of asking Genevieve, well, how many fubos is this in your life? How many fubos is that?

[Andrew Walsh]

It's a unit of measure. Now everything. It's half a fubo.

[Luke Burbank]

And so I was. After our little get together on Saturday, Genevieve And I went to get some drinks together, and she was like, mentioned her hair. And again, I don't. I don't care. I don't police any kind of spending. It's fine. But she said, oh, it's more than I thought. I was like, how many fubos? And I don't. I don't know if this is okay for me to say.

[Andrew Walsh]

In the words of Coolio, it's working.

[Luke Burbank]

She said, it was seven months of fubo. You can get Fubo. And I was like, that's okay. I was like, I just wanted you to say it.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's all you needed.

[Luke Burbank]

I just wanted you to say it. Anyway, all of that is to say Genevieve was on board with this thing. But here's the deal. Like, this place where I get pizza, I know that, like, kind of a mutual friend of ours kind of knows the people who are. Who run this place. We have people who are in the industry and, you know.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sure. My sister and her husband own a restaurant here in Portland. It's tough out there.

[Luke Burbank]

It's really tough out there. I know that the struggle is real. And I also just think about the really generous people in our lives. I'm talking about the listeners of this show who could easily not pay, you know, easily not, quote, unquote, tip us, or people who've gone just so over and above even what we asked for during thons. And I think about the generosity in the world out there, and I was like, oh, I couldn't put down another $10 on this pizza. Like, I could also just argue for, like, not being. Not being cheap. Like, if I have the money, just spend it on people. Like, that's a good argument, and I can see that. But I was also kind of like, I don't know, there was something about going through the ordering process and sort of seeing, oh, and by the way, we're adding this fee and this fee. And by the way, we've rearranged the tipping buttons.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Like a bit like on the gas station pump, where they kind of pop up.

[Andrew Walsh]

Where it's, like, timed to pop up right when you're trying to click something else. And it's like. I don't know if you've ever seen those, but, like, they get real shifty sometimes where, like, my theory is that they. They know roughly how much time it takes you to become aware of something that's now populating your screen, and that the natural human reaction would be to go over to a certain point of the screen and do something. Yeah. And. And conveniently the pop up ad, which is one giant button, has now populated that part of the screen and then suddenly you're at like a Nutrafol hair ad or some. Anyway, yeah, so it's. I, I think, here's. I, I agree, I tend to agree with you on this one thing. It has to do with that you went and got the pizza. Obviously, if you ordered the pizza to be delivered and somebody comes up to your porch in the rain with this pizza maybe in the warming bag, I mean that's a, that's a no brainer. But I, I do think that if we are paying folks, and by the way, even at $20 an hour, it's like, see how far that goes, you know, at the end of the month in Seattle. But that's a, that's a macro issue. If we are paying people. Again, I don't even necessarily agree that $19 an hour is a living wage, but let's just say for the sake of argument it is. Somebody is able to support themselves with that. If we as a society, if we as a city of Seattle or a county of King or whatever it is, say we people need to be paid a living wage and then we enforce a minimum wage and those people are being paid that and the cost is being passed on to us as the consumer. I then, I don't think then that we are also obligated to continue with the kind of tipping strategy that's popped up in so many places where owners of businesses were basically offloading some of the wages pressure onto us in the form of a tip as the customer. If we're going to pay folks $20 an hour, I don't think that we have to then tip on every little thing. I mean, I think we know food service as far as like the restaurant experience is still going to generally tip, etc. But I don't, I don't think you're wildly out of line considering that that pizza was $40 because presumably those folks are all making more money as well they should.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that was my thought process on it. So like I said, is there any.

[Andrew Walsh]

Kind of a, for people that are working in the restaurant industry, like servers, is there, is there any kind of a, you know, in the olden days they didn't have to pay even the minimum wage to those folks. It used to be the case that you would get less than the minimum wage because you were getting all these tips.

[Luke Burbank]

That was what was sort of forestalled that. Now I believe everybody is making the minimum wage and so therefore that's A.

[Andrew Walsh]

Pretty significant change if everyone's still tipping 20%. If I go into a restaurant and I. Because my standard tip would be 20% anywhere I go, and all of the folks working in the restaurant are making that $20 an hour and getting those 20. Because, you know, I also my, you know, first ex wife. And yes, I have to specify which ex wife I'm talking about was a server for many worked in the restaurant industry. And I mean, it was all the tips. I used to walk with, like significant tips every night, which is great. I think people should make money for working hard. But it's interesting because if you're getting 20 bucks an hour and you're still getting all those tips, that is not a bad. Does not seem like a bad gig.

[Luke Burbank]

I had some of the numbers wrong, actually. So yeah, and this is what I was talking about before. Some of smaller restaurants pushed back to not have this implemented, but it was implemented with the expiration of the tip credit. Restaurants now must pay their employees at least $20.76 per hour. So in other words, they're getting rid of that tip credit thing where you can like pay them less because they're making tips. So therefore the minimum wage of $20.76 is guaranteed. Which is again, one of the reasons why that's, that's where I got into that argument before when it was like, oh, well, we have this tip credit. We can pay our. We can pay our employ employees less in our small restaurant, but we need your tips to subsidize their pay. And then I got into, wait, who are we tipping? The. The restaurant owners so that they can pay their employees less. Like, who are we? It just became very, very complicated. I prefer this system. Let's keep on voting for fair wages and increasing because I still think minimum wage when this is bananas to think about. But when I first entered the workforce as a kid, like as a teenager, something $5 an hour. My minimum wage that I think I made from my dad and I believe at KOW. So actually I would have been maybe 18 or 19, I believe not KOW, sorry, WKSU, the public radio station in Kent, I believe it was $4.25.

[Andrew Walsh]

Because you made nothing at Kuow.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. Years later, after having been in the.

[Andrew Walsh]

Major pay cut for wku, being an.

[Luke Burbank]

Executive producer in New Hampshire, KOW offered me the really handsome offer of nothing. And also suddenly looked at me like, do we know you?

[Andrew Walsh]

But you did get tips. That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

I sold a books to have price books.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that was My move.

[Luke Burbank]

No, but anyway, yeah, so it was $4.25 when I was in college. The minimum wage is $4.25. Having said that, I don't think this 2076 actually even keeps up with inflation on that. I can do the math right here. So I'm not, I am not arguing at all that like, oh, these restaurant workers have it so good.

[Andrew Walsh]

But I mean, just here's the thing though. The whole, the whole subject of tipping is so fraught. I really would be fine with a system where everything costs more and there was no tipping. Like, it's just you pay. And that is a little bit more how I think it is in Europe. Certainly there is some tipping, but it doesn't seem to be as prevalent. I would, I would just, it's, it's such a gray area. It's such a weird thing to have a system where it's like you can legally pay zero or you could legally pay 30%. It's totally up to you. It is 100% voluntary. And then you can just leave the restaurant, you know, and that's going to be some part of how this person's, you know, salary or the, the money that they get is going to be generated. Like, it's such a strange system and I just feel like it's, it's rife with problems. It would just be better if we paid everybody enough money at their jobs that they could support themselves and then we paid for, you know, one of the things I like about Home Depot, the zero expectation of tipping.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, right.

[Andrew Walsh]

I just go in there, I buy some plywood and I walk out. I'm never like, well, was the person nice to me? Were they, Do I, you know, how, like, are they down on their luck? Am I, did we, were they rude? Was the plywood cold when it got to the table? Like, I just, it's just the fact that you have to factor so much of that in when you go out for an experience. And again, because back in the day, folks in the food service industry were making, you know, less than minimum wage. So obviously those tips were necessary. And again, I want to be very clear. My, my sister and her husband own a restaurant in Portland, Pollo Bravo. Which is, you know, it is challenging as a small business owner. They could tell you to make payroll and to sell your, your, your stuff at, you know, with obviously the cost of everything going up. I mean, it is really, really tough out there. So I don't want to, I don't want to low key that, but I just, the Fact that now we've got this minimum wage enforced, which is good, but then we also still have tipping. But then it's like I. The whole thing is complicated to me. I'd rather just know what I'm paying going in and just pay it.

[Luke Burbank]

I would like to correct myself. I'm a little embarrassed on my math. I guess $4.25 in $1995 would be the equivalent of about $9 in 20, $25. So I had that as being up to $20, which is way, way off. But nonetheless, minimum wage is not what it used to be. Even. Even in cities like Seattle that have a pretty high minimum.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Because if you're making 20 bucks an hour and that's 160 a day times five is. It's like what's like 800 a week? Roughly 1632, 3200amonth. Like, that's very back of a napkin math. I could be wrong on that. Let's just say you're making three grand a month and then taxes come out of that. Let's say you're walking with 2300. I mean, rent in Seattle anywhere is going to be a couple grand at a minimum, you know, like, so there's all the money you made. It's just. Now that was just rent.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you know, I bought. I was so mad at myself. See, I've said on the show a lot, in fact, I was texting with your brother the other day about those little cookies that I said I like. They're like little cream sandwich cookies that are like really cheap. They're like chocolate on one side and vanilla on the other. I hadn't had them in years. And then I had them at a little get together and they reminded me of having like little pizza parties when I was a kid or whatever. And I loved them. And I was texting with your brother about them. He likes them too. And he's like also. And he said, I know you don't usually look at the prices of things in the grocery store, but for the rest of us, these are a great deal. They're like $2 a pack or something like that. A buck 99. And him saying he's got a growing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Family to think of now. David Burbank.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I mean, honestly though, it really.

[Andrew Walsh]

They're only feeding Gemma cookies too.

[Luke Burbank]

Worst things.

[Andrew Walsh]

That baby is so unbelievably cute, I have to tell you. My niece Gemma, adorable.

[Luke Burbank]

But I gotta say, David's words sort of stuck in my of like, I know you don't Think about these things. And the thing is, as I get. First of all, that really makes me sound like a. What A dilettante or something. Like, I don't like that idea of me just like throwing money around without.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like the George H.W. bush.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, at the grocery store, not famously.

[Andrew Walsh]

Getting dinged for that.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I think his thing was he didn't recognize the robot scanner, the robots that were scanning his groceries. Right. But anyway, so I think I am paying a little bit more attention because it's in the news, the price of eggs, whatever. Like, I just like pay a little bit more attention to things now. But I wish I didn't because it' making me mad. Like, kind of mad. I mean, in the mental health way mad. Because, like, it is what it is. I mean, you can, you can look for bargains. I know we have friends who are like big bargain hunters. And like, the thing is, I don't go around making an effort to save money. All it's done for me is like kind of taking the scales off of my eyes about how expensive things are. And I was telling you that I. My favorite kind of orange is the one that are called sumos. And I like the big nice ones and they have the little lump on one side of them.

[Andrew Walsh]

Makes them easy to peel.

[Luke Burbank]

Make them easy to peel. And they're really, really sweet. And sometimes you can buy little bags of those that are kind of smaller in size and they're a less regal orange. But if you buy them sort of loose and you buy the really nice kinds, I guess they're. Yeah, I've always known that they're more expensive, but I saw them in my Safeway the other day and it said something like, oh, these are on some great. These are on some, like, great markdown. When you use your digital coupon, if you download this app or whatever.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm big on that.

[Luke Burbank]

That. Are you. Well, maybe I need to get. No. Well, here's the deal. Here's the deal. So I buy, I think, four of these things. I'm like, oh, I'll buy four of these things. I'm like, I don't have this. I'm not going to download an app right now. Like, I'm sure that whatever. I don't know why I thought this. It was just like in the back of my mind, I'm just like, whatever. Like, I'm sure when I get up to the register, if I type in my phone number, it'll give me the same discount. I just figure it's the same thing. Thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'VE been on the same journey and.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, what a folly. And I did exactly the same thing, my dude. I go up and I buy these oranges and again, I wouldn't even usually pay attention to the price of oranges because I'm a dilettante. But I'm like, I don't know if I'm using that word right. But anyway, I, I, I, I order or I buy the oranges, I scan them or whatever, and then I look at like, what is taken off and I get no discount at all from typing in my phone number and I realize I just paid $20 for four oranges. Four.

[Andrew Walsh]

Were they actual sumo wrestling oranges?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. They peeled themselves.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. That's in a very human being sexy way.

[Luke Burbank]

Wow. And then I went home.

[Andrew Walsh]

Did you ask, like, was, were you at self checkout later?

[Luke Burbank]

Did you know I was in self checkout?

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, monitor? Hey, could you, like, run this for me?

[Luke Burbank]

No, I just, I was a self checkout and I was like, oh, my God, I've made a terrible mistake.

[Andrew Walsh]

You don't want to delay anyone behind you. I know. That's what number one fears at self checkout.

[Luke Burbank]

Here's the funniest thing of I saw. I'm like, oh, that's too much money. But whatever. I already scanned. I'm not going to make a big deal of this. I'm going to go home and eat my $20 of four oranges. Then Genevieve used one to make orange juice. And I didn't say anything, but I was like, my God, that's an expensive glass of orange juice because you squeeze one orange like you do not.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's a tenth of a fubo.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a tenth of a fubo you're drinking right there, my sweetie.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I had a similar. This is probably why I have that silly app now on my phone. Because, you know, here's my. My basic relationship with getting a deal in places is I don't, I don't want it to run my life. I don't want it to be the main thing that's animating all my behaviors. Or, like, I don't buy something, you know, a grocery item that I really want to have because it's too much money or something. I grew up in a family where we would drive to a specific gas station to buy milk because it was 20 cents cheaper, raising the question, how much gas did we spend to go to that gas station on Lake City Way or whatever. But that being said, so I've kind of the pendulum of My life has swung much farther in the Andrew and his 20 oranges direction. But that being said, if I am presented with a deal, I'm not mad at that. Like for instance, I was in the local Safeway the other day and they had once again one of these crazy things where you can buy like an 18 pack of soda and it's like buy two get two free. It's like, how are you even. I think previously around Thanksgiving, the deal was buy one get three free. I mean some, I mean it was. Had made no sense from.

[Luke Burbank]

I won and you're the chairman of the board, Soda Incorporated.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. But you know what they had there? It was a Coca Cola products, which I guess includes Fresca. And you know, I've been on a real Fresca kick.

[Luke Burbank]

So.

[Andrew Walsh]

So anyway, so like that's the kind of thing where I didn't go into that store being like, I need, I need. What is that seven? How about what is 18 times four? You think that would be easier to do? 72.

[Luke Burbank]

Two.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yep, 70. I didn't need 72 cans of soda. But like I'm also like, well, two of these are free. But. But all that is to say, did.

[Luke Burbank]

You buy all Fresco though? Did you get seven?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I did one Coke Zero. I'm kind of. Here's the thing, I. And probably even Fresca is not great for me. I'm trying to not consume as much of like the Diet Coke and the Coke Zero and the stuff like that. That's like, you know, it has. Allegedly it has sort of zero calories, but I think it's got a lot of other just chemically stuff in there that I can't imagine is like does a body good. So I'm trying to. Now I don't know if Fresca's. It just seems better because it's vaguely citrus flavored. So I got three frescoes and one Coke Zero. Is was the actual breakdown.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you know that I'm going the opposite direction of you when it comes to these sodas? Now, I'm still not overboard, but like, I just like soda in my life was just like, oh, if I'm out at a diner, yeah, I'll get a Coke or something along those lines. But like I never have it like at home. It's just not a big thing for me. And so because of that I never drink diet soda because on the occasion I'm going to drink it, then I might as well just drink a regular Coke. I don't really like the taste of diet soda and so, you know, whatever. Of all the things in my life, like drinking too much soda has not really been a huge issue for me, I don't think. But I've always liked Fresca. And I told you this on the show recently, that I never realized that Fresca was in any way supposed to be like, no sugar or a healthy. Healthier is the wrong word there, but let's just say healthier alternative. I never thought about it in that way. I always confused Fresca and Squirt. A mistake that I would never make now because now I'm sure if I drink a Squirt, it would seem so sweet to me. But in my head, I was like, oh, I just like those. What are they? Grapefruit flavored sodas or whatever. And so I was drinking Fresca, and I even bought like a 12 pack maybe sometime this summer. And I was kind of going through them, and Genevieve was like, yeah, you know, the zero sugar. Or somebody pointed out to me that they're like a diet. They were early diet alternative to soda. I'm like, I had no idea. Then I started saying to Genevieve, I'm just like, wait, zero sugar? And she's like, yeah. And I don't know how she framed it, but I was like, you mean it's basically like drinking water? Which is not true, by the way. But somehow I got it in my head that, like, I don't know, I could drink some water. I could drink some Fresca. I had a morning Fresca the other day. A morning Fresca. I've never had soda. I've not made a habit of that, but I was just kind of like, oh, whatever. Like, there's no sugar in this. And I'm like, I cannot become somebody who's drinking diet soda. I mean, I'm sure people do it, but, like, that's just. I don't need to add that to my list of things that are not super healthy in my life, you know?

[Andrew Walsh]

Here are the ingredients in a Fresca. Carbonated water. Okay, good. It's mostly water. That's a start.

[Luke Burbank]

Great.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's good that that's the number one ingredient, because if it wasn't, we'd have a real situation on our hands. Carbonated water. Citric acid. Natural flavors. Potassium citrate. Concentrated grapefruit juice. Aspartame. Potassium Sorbate to protect taste. They say a sulfame potassium. Acacia gum. Potassium Benzoate to protect taste. Wow. They've got two different things in there to protect the taste that's why the taste is so protected. When you have a Fresca, I always.

[Luke Burbank]

I take a big slug around my goo.

[Andrew Walsh]

That takes some protected flavor. Glycerol ester of Rosen calcium and Andrew. Wait for it. Calcium disodium edta. What do you think that's for? To protect taste. And then carob bean guide. Just like mom used to make it.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, right. Hey, you know, I'm gonna start making my own Fresca.

[Andrew Walsh]

We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle. On your mark. On your mark. Get set, get set now. Ready, ready, go. Everybody, razzle dazzle. Let's thank some dazzling donors. These generous, wonderful people are donating a dazzling amount of dough. Every month they're donating. I don't even want to know how many sumo oranges. But it's very, very much appreciated. After all this talk today of living wages and tipping and people trying to make a living in this world, we appreciate that these folks are being so generous with our show and allowing this to be our job. Talking, of course, about Cinder Conlin out there in Traverse City, Michigan.

[Luke Burbank]

Now, did you find yourself in Traverse City recently, Luke, or in that general area?

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm going out that way, though. In June, Becca and I are going to somewhere called the Milkweed Inn.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe that's what I'm thinking of, which.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is in, like, I don't know where it is related to Traverse City. What I do know is it is out there. I was, I was emailing with Lane Regan, who's the chef who owns this operation, and they were explaining the process of getting there. And it's like, oh, my God, like, it's like, fly to Detroit, fly to this other place. Rent a Wells Fargo wagon train. Take a river to the Forge, Two rivers, and then stop at the trailhead. And then Lane is going to show up in some kind of four wheel drive vehicle that we get in and then we drive out to the place.

[Luke Burbank]

Nice.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. But anyway, Cinder is a longtime supporter of the show and friend of the program. And Cinder says, howdy, friendos. I can't believe it's that time of year again. And I think I said that last year at this time this year, I'd like to use my platform to tell Luke and my mom to tell Luke that my mom was a huge fan of Bruce Williams while I was growing up. Oh, Cinder. This makes so much sense. This probably Cinder was getting a healthy dose of Bruce Williams, you know, because of Cinder's mom. Listening to talk Net with Bruce Williams. So every time Bruce is discussed on the show, it brings back great memories of my mom and her love of late night radio.

[Luke Burbank]

Radio.

[Andrew Walsh]

I do think that's kind of a. I think if you're the kind of person who enjoys TBTL or at least tolerates it, you either had a connection to AM radio or like, you know, that kind of radio as a kid or maybe just, I don't know, it's the kind of thing that speaks to you. But I feel like we are somehow a weird outgrowth of things like talk.

[Luke Burbank]

Net.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was watching to listening on Friday night, Andrew, to my Art Bell Radio. I'm all on that now because of that Art Bell movie they're making with Paul Giamatti.

[Luke Burbank]

It's called I Could Really Use a Winner here.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is. It is. And, and it's called I Could Really Use a Remote Viewing Here. So I was listening to Art Bell RIP and I was making some, some scrambled eggs. Oh, that's my new thing. Andrew, I. Low and slow. Are you a, Are you a scrambled egg head? Do you, do you make the scrambled eggs?

[Luke Burbank]

I am. And I will tell you this. I met a friend's relatively new girlfriend, but they're in a serious relationship. It was just. I met her for the first time this summer and she talked about how she likes to make her scrambled eggs. And it is completely opposite of the way I make my scrambled eggs. And now every time I think of scrambled eggs, I think of her and I think about how wrong she is about liking eggs her way through it. And it worries me that this could put a schism in our relationship. If you and I like our eggs differently, I like them. Them. I like them fluffier if they're. I like them to not be like overly cooked so that they're kind of flat like a, like an omelette. You know how you can make them. They're like kind of a little bit brown or whatever. It sounded like this woman prefers them that way. I like the opposite, unless it's an omelette itself. I want them to be very fluffy. I want them to be like yellow clouds.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. And I have.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. I, I grew up in a, A, in a fairly unsophisticated scrambled egg environment, which was just dump a bunch of eggs in there. And when they're by the. Once they're brown and like kind of incurreds, then we, Then we. And, and by the way, I grew up loving those kinds of eggs. But I. On Friday night, as I was listening to Dreamland, Radio. I thought, there has to be a better way. Actually, Friday afternoon, I thought, there has to be a better way. And so I did a little sleuthing. And I mean, this is not anything particularly crazy, but I mean, you just. If you cook, cook it at the. If you basically have the pan on the lowest of the stove, on like, the lowest setting or one of the lower settings as far as heat, and the pan is cold when you put the eggs in. And then you just very, very carefully watch them, and then. And you move them off the heat. Sometimes you just really want to make sure that they're, like, setting up, but they're not getting overly hard. And then at the end, you throw in some. Like, they didn't. The grocery store by my house is not fancy enough to have creme fraiche, so I just use a little ricotta. But you throw in a little bit of ricotta and you stir that in and then some little diced up some chives on that. Oh, my gosh. I did that with fondant potatoes on Friday night. It was delicious.

[Luke Burbank]

I have a question, though. You mentioned the pan is cold. You mean relatively. You've still melted butter down there, right? You're not putting them in a cold pan with no butter.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're putting them in a cold pan with. I must have sprayed it with maybe a little bit of, like, canola oil or something. I actually don't even remember because. Because I gotta look at the recipe again. I definitely know that there was. I don't think there was melted butter in the pan. Maybe So. I mean, you know what? Maybe. Yeah, I did. I think I started with a little bit of butter, but it wasn't like, typically, you know, usually my. How I cook everything is like, I get this pan really hot, I throw some butter, and it's like immediately melting. This was a different thing because it was like, not warm enough. I think the key. And they said this in the instructions, like, make sure you're also taking it off of the burner sometimes because the pan is going to stay hot. And you're just really working to make sure that it doesn't heat up to the point where these turn into sort of rubber or whatever. But, like, it was so good. Speaking of the cost of things, though, Andrew, I went into the grocery store. This shows you. You want. You think you're out of touch with your oranges. I. I don't buy that many eggs. Like, a. A dozen eggs will last me for a decent amount of time. Generally speaking, because I live alone, I don't have little kids. It's like, it's not a big part of what I'm cooking with everybody day. But I was like, I'm going to make these scrambled as I'm going to make sure I have enough eggs. And I literally walked in going like, are they going to even have eggs? Is there a run on eggs? Do we. And then I got like, you know, pasture raised. I don't know what all that terminology really means, honestly. Vital farm, pasture raised eggs. I'm always trying to go, if I can, with the like, most. Whatever seems like it might be the most humane and. And it was $7. I thought it was going to be.

[Luke Burbank]

$30 the way everybody's been talking about it. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like the price of eggs. We got to put a Nazi in the presidential whatever. Because the price of eggs was like, I don't know, $7. I called Becca. I was like, is this what eggs cost? She goes, well, they used to be like four. I was like, okay, but I don't know, $7 for a dozen eggs.

[Luke Burbank]

It just.

[Andrew Walsh]

I didn't know what to expect walking in, but I was pleasantly surprised that that's what this has all been about.

[Luke Burbank]

Interestingly, I bought eggs yesterday. The. The cheapest ones I could find, which were also like, you know, cage free and what have you, 7.99. So there's $8, which is like Becca says, like, it is a more pretty significant increase over than probably even what, six months ago or something like that. But, yeah, affordable. It's weird that you and I are really going through our egg phases. I said this to these too, because.

[Andrew Walsh]

I got 40 eggs.

[Luke Burbank]

My boy says he can buy 40 eggs. My boy can buy 40 eggs. We've been making a lot of hard boiled, eg, whatnot. Can I just tell you, and I think that Cinder would appreciate this before we get back to her.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is part of Cinder's dazzling donor request was that we talk a lot about eggs.

[Luke Burbank]

This is not going to be for everybody. And it might not even be for you, Luke, but I'm just. I need to tell the world about my. My Andrew Walsh, soon to be world famous egg sandwich. You ready for this?

[Andrew Walsh]

Hey, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Brioche bun.

[Andrew Walsh]

Love it.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, Love a brioche bun.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sure. This is egg salad, right?

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, this is egg. I don't do egg salad. This is just egg sandwich. Sandwich. This is a breakfast sandwich. Okay. Okay. It's very, very simple. But it's just like I fry two eggs and I make them solidly over medium, almost cook them through so that they're over hard, but I don't break the yolks. And I thought of this because you were talking about like sort of turning the heat off of the pan. Like, I'll even let these eggs, once they're getting very close to the right consistency, I'll just turn the heat off of the pan and let them cook the rest of the way. So the yolks are almost solid all the way through. Not too runny, but you have some flexibility there. I put two eggs on a brioche bun and then if I have it, some kielbasa that I fried in the same pan, but I split it open, you know, so it'll fit on a sandwich or I've also been using Morningstar grillers, which I don't think you really go for that like kind of process that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Those are veggie.

[Luke Burbank]

Those are veggie, yeah, yeah. So if I have a griller, I'll grill one griller. And this is for people who don't know. It's like a Morningstar like kind of burger replacement, but very gener. Perfect little circle. They're all just like very kind of processed, non meat little burgers.

[Andrew Walsh]

There's a lot of things in there. Protecting for flavor.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly.

[Andrew Walsh]

Mostly protected for flavor.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. I think they spray it with hairspray to protect it for flavor. But I like them. But anyway, one of those, or like I say the sausage, two eggs. I put one egg on the bottom, one egg on the top, and then whatever the other protein is in the middle. And then I adorn it with. And this is where people are probably going to shake their heads or wag their fingers at me. A little bit of hoisin sauce and sriracha to add a little bit of sweetness. And then, you know, especially if you have like the kielbasa or something on there, which also has a little bit of sweetness. Anyway, that is the sandwich. Pretty simple. Just a couple of eggs sandwiching a piece of meat. But it's really the hoisin and sriracha combination that I think really pulls the room together.

[Andrew Walsh]

That sounds delicious. That sounds very, very good. Do you. Would you like, you say that's a breakfast sandwich. Would you get up on like, like a today, like a Monday and make that in the morning before we do the show? Or would that be more like. You might do it for lunch, but it's kind of breakfast inspired.

[Luke Burbank]

That would be a weekend breakfast sandwich. So when we're talking weekend breakfast, we're talking noonish, probably, you know, like wake up late and let's kind of like put one of those things together as like kind of a poor man's brunch.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I'll tell you, I Now that I have unlocked the secret on really, really good scrambled eggs, I'm. This is practically all I'm going to eat going forward. That and something called Huel, which is this protein thing I bought that I. I can't. It's supposed to be. They. They call it a complete food. It's supposed to be really, you know, a lot of protein and not a lot of stuff that's bad for you. But to the fact that when you buy a bag of this stuff, it says they have a note in there that says, you're now a hu. Again. Has been a real barrier to entry for me. I can't bring myself to become a hooligan.

[Luke Burbank]

And the fact that it's people is probably the other people.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. Continuing with cinder's message, I get a lot of warm fuzzies from tbtl, which is one of the myriad reasons why I keep listening to it and supporting the show. So thanks, you guys, John and all of the tens for creating a space that makes me happy. The next four years promise to be pretty harrowing, and I'm glad we all have each other. Have a great show, dummies. What you do is so important. Cinder, right back at you. What you've been doing is so important. Being a part of the show and helping support it in the various ways that you have, that's huge. That's how this thing can keep going. So thank you. And yes, importantly, we all have each other for the next. I'm going to focus on the positive and say three years and eight months. The countdown begins, my friends.

[Luke Burbank]

Maestro, Exactly.

[Andrew Walsh]

On your mark, on your mark. Get set, get set.

[Luke Burbank]

Now.

[Andrew Walsh]

Ready, ready, ready. Go. Everybody rattle. Well, look who it is. I mean, speak of the sun and you see its rays. We were talking about my actual brother, David from the basement, and he is our second dazzling. My actual brother, my actual kin, AKA the last Burbank. He's dazzling us.

[Luke Burbank]

He's got a kid now.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can he do this honestly? Listen, we'll talk about it offline. David, if this makes sense for you.

[Luke Burbank]

Or not, this seems like the donation of a man who donated before he realized his family was growing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, we can find out the exact timing on that, but let's just say, David, I want you to do what makes sense for you and your family. This is my beloved brother David says day one. Listen, listener, first time dazzler it's been quite the year for me, my wife and I. My wife has been pregnant for the majority of 2024, and to begin 2025, we welcomed our five Gemma Rose Burbank to the world. I mean, come on. She is perfect and precious, and I can't wait for her to be old enough to ask what the heck TBTL is.

[Luke Burbank]

She'll never have to ask that because she'll just. It'll have always been there.

[Andrew Walsh]

It'll be instinctive. She's part of a long line from her uncle to her father, a long line of Seattle radio producers and broadcasters. It'll be totally inherent.

[Luke Burbank]

The question you'll have to answer is, why did they replace Jen? Which I mean, that.

[Andrew Walsh]

That would be an innate piece of knowledge that Gemma has been born with. She's never even heard Jen on the show, but she'll go, what happened to Jen? Are you guys still doing Cooking with Shonda Torre?

[Luke Burbank]

I liked it better when Jen was there.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love it. What a flex. This show has been the soundtrack of my life for the last 17 years, and I look forward to having it for the next 17. Thanks, Luke and Andrew and John, for humoring my voicemails and intro tapes and general notes on the show. Makes my day to feel like a tiny part of the crew. Could you please direct people towards the radio show that I produce, Seattle's Morning News on Cairo News Radio, 97.3 FM, weekdays from 6 to 9. I can't vouch for every other show on the station, but I am working my tail off to make my show something special. Hear me out. Hear me and my host, Charlie Harger, bring you the news of the day along with Chris Sullivan every morning. Pow.

[Luke Burbank]

Wow.

[Andrew Walsh]

Out.

[Luke Burbank]

Listen.

[Andrew Walsh]

I can't attest that the other day when I was in Portland, or excuse me, when I. When I was in Seattle, we'd gone up to Seattle, do that thing with Chris Hayes, and the next morning I got up in Seattle and it was snowy. And I was going to be driving back down here to the Portland area to do the show, our show. And I popped on Seattle's morning news on 97.3 FM. And it was amazing. It was exactly what I love in local news radio. First of all, they had actually a pretty robust set of reporters out reporting on the snow. They had someone at the Tom Thumb Market in Lake Stevens, Washington, reporting in on the snow up there. They had folks kind of all over the Puget Sound. Charlie Harger was doing a really nice job of kind of running things. Chris Sullivan Handling the traffic. It was just like it. It exactly scratched the itch that I like to get from morning commercial news radio. So good job, David. And good job, everybody over there. Like, I wish we had a version of that. Maybe there is a version of that in Portland I just haven't tapped into. But. But I love that kind of radio, and I'm glad that it's still happening on Cairo.

[Luke Burbank]

And I'll just say I can't remember the details of it, but just so that David knows you're not just saying that because you feel compelled to, based on the dazzling donor message he's paying.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right now for this to happen. It was off the paid message.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. Here's an unpaid message. It was off air the other day that you and I were just talking about listening to the radio, and I'm pretty sure you mentioned very specifically, because. Talking about. Of course, we worked with Charlie's predecessor, Dave Ross, and I think you maybe were sampling the wares recently, and you were saying to me privately that Charlie had just done some. Something kind of like just a small little thing on the radio.

[Andrew Walsh]

But it just.

[Luke Burbank]

It pleased you so much just to hear that sort of. Just like, sort of.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Distinctive little. Little bit of radio hosting.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, absolutely. As the snow was falling, I think he was checking with his family down in the kind of maybe like Auburn Federal Way area, and he was noting that the school district. District where his kids go is still in session. I think he said something like, we're just built different down in Ottawa.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, that's right.

[Andrew Walsh]

I like this. This is a bit of humanity injected into this whole thing, you know, Like. Yeah, it was. Again, it was a. It really made me happy. And look, I don't want to. I don't want to besmirch my beloved public radio because, you know, I do love it, and I even kind of work there in a way. But, like, it's been. It's been tough. I've been reintegrating with Oregon opb, which is kind of my station down here. I've been reintegrating. But it is. It is difficult at times because I think that public radio feels the responsibility to report on each and every thing that the current administration does. And that can be a really tough listen, as everybody knows. And so there was something nice about just hearing a guy at Tom Thumb Market being like, it's really coming down.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I was like, no mention of Pete Hegseth during this snow report. Bundle up, you know, pack your patience. Yeah, I'm. Sometimes I Just need a good pack. Your patience.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Anyway, thanks, David. Love you, brother. And thank you also to Cinder for supporting TBTL today. Hello and welcome to Top Story. The other thing I wanted to tell you about my weekend, Andrew, which I don't know if this is really has ever. Was ever your move, would ever be your move move. Probably wouldn't be your move going forward because you've. You're self described as an ANSI TV watcher now.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Kind of get up and down a lot and do different things. I am probably also that way now. Like mostly what I watch on TV is just live sports and msnbc and other than that I don't, I don't like sit down and watch long stretches of television. But it was kind of a little bit sick this weekend. I had a rolling series of.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh.

[Andrew Walsh]

Of symptoms of some nausea, some other things going on. What that. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what's been happening. I'm a little better today, thankfully.

[Luke Burbank]

Just a little bit though. You're still, you're powering through a little bit.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm. No, I think I'm, I think, I think Saturday was the worst of it. Sunday was coming out of it and I think I'm, I'm fairly.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I'm 80% today. I haven't had, I haven't had a lot of like, like serious stomach bug related things in my life. They sound terrible. You do think this was a bug, not something that you ate?

[Andrew Walsh]

It was weird on, on Thursday I was, I thought the eggs were going to heal me. I thought it might be something kind of soft and, and like you're not too challenging for my stomach on Friday. So on Thursday night, right before we started Livewire, I was upstairs at the Alberto theater getting ready and I had kind of some waves of nausea and I was like, oh, like. And I was, I was okay once the show was going. You're kind of locked in on that. But then I went for a run on Friday and at the end of my jog I was doing it down at the lake. I literally thought I was going to throw up at the end of the jog. It was weird. That's not a. I'm not saying I'm loving the experience of exercising, but I don't usually feel like I might vomit from it.

[Luke Burbank]

And that was before we recorded on Friday, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, that was after.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, okay. I thought you jogged before the show.

[Andrew Walsh]

So. But I, but then Saturday I was, was kind of was a little. Not feeling great. And then Sunday, like I said I was coming out of it, but this is what happened on Saturday because I was just home kind of hanging out, just kind of nursing. Nursing my. Nursing my wounds, nursing my not feeling great. And I don't usually, like, I don't like, lock in on a marathon TV session on a Saturday. Like that used to be a thing that I would do years and years ago. There would be the occasional Saturday. This is like when maybe I first had cable tv. So, like, I'm out of college, but I like, you know, I probably married at this point because I did that pretty young, but I'm probably, like, living with someone. I'm married, married. We've got cable tv and occasionally it would just be fun on a Saturday to like, veg out for like a Top Chef marathon. Like, I'm talking about, you're changing the channels. There's no DVRing at this point. And you just get. Or like a real world, some kind of a thing where it's a Saturday and this, this particular station has decided to just play 20 hours of some kind of show and you just get into it and just becomes your whole day. Which on the one hand sounds like a total waste of an afternoon. But I. That's exactly what happened to me on Saturday. And I felt like I had an excuse for it because I was sick. So I was like, under the blanket being cozy.

[Luke Burbank]

This can't be a coincidence.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah, definitely. Like, but. But it. Yeah, it's the kind of thing that I probably wouldn't have engaged with outside of feeling under the weather. But I started watching this show on, I guess, you know, it's weird because I have all these apps. I don't have have a regular cable anymore. But I did find something actually that's very helpful now, which is there is a channel guide on FuboTV just to bring this back to a Fubo ad so you can kind of check the channels. I didn't know you could do that, if that makes any sense, because it's such a weird world of this streaming stuff. I didn't know if that there was literally like you go to channel guide and you're like, it's like, it's kind of like a traditional tv. Like, I can see all the local Portland stations. I can see so in the scrolling of these channels because otherwise I've interacted with everything as an on demand kind of product. Like, oh, I want to watch this foot game. I want to whatever. So I found myself feeling kind of sick under a blanket, like flipping through the channels effectively and one of the things I saw was this show. I guess it's on what used to be MSNBC but isn't called that anymore. And I don't even know what the network is called now, but it's Lockup, which is just basically people who are incarcerated being interviewed, their lives being observed. And I have to say it was a really compelling show. Like, it's the kind of thing that could go really sideways really fast. If it was some sort of apology for like in the way that the show Cops is probably kind of an apology for the behavior of Cops. You know, they're not going to show Cops overstepping or treating people poorly. They're going to show it when the criminals are acting up and they.

[Luke Burbank]

And it really reinforces this idea of like, of criminals just being, you know.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like these wild and out. I think that the song Bad Boys, Bad boys, what you gonna do Sets A to right.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly.

[Andrew Walsh]

Listen, the guys from Inner Circle gotta eat, so good for them on that. That's really. Can you imagine seeing Inner Circle play at the Emerald Queen Casino? And they don't play Bad Boys, Bad Boys.

[Luke Burbank]

We're just playing our new stuff.

[Andrew Walsh]

We're only playing new stuff. We're playing. It's complicated Boys. And there's a lot of structural racism that plays into this boys. So anyway, this show Lockup, it could have been. It could be an apology for the carceral system, but it somehow wasn't or isn't. It was a. I thought a pretty even handed sort of view into what life is like for people who are incarcerated. This was at a Louisville like excuse. Yeah. Basically the downtown jail in Louisville, Kentucky. So it's people who are being. Either they, they've been accused of crimes but. But they haven't had their trial yet or they have been convicted and they are soon to be transferred out to a prison, like a state prison or something. But I have to say it was pretty compelling. And I was, I was impressed with the people behind the show not making it like people in jail are awful humans who should be locked up and the key should be thrown away. It was re. I honestly, I don't know exactly why the people in charge of the Louisville jail agreed to it because it's not an expose. Don't get me wrong. It's not like they're blowing the lid off the thing thing. But they're also not sugarcoating it. They're showing the actual lives of incarcerated people in a way that I found very compelling. There was a scene, there's a Guy who was about to. He was there, but he was about to. He had been convicted of a crime that. The sentence was 30 years in the state prison. And he was. Let's say this guy's in his. Maybe mid, late for 30s. And his son was also incarcerated in that jail and was about to have a trial for a murder charge. Charge. And they had had a very, very, very estranged relationship because the father had been in and out of prison, as is often the case. And they had this moment where before the father was shipped off to do his time at the state prison, he and the son were sitting down talking. And it was some of the most compelling television I've ever seen. Because you had these two men who had had a very complicated relationship who were not. Maybe had not been equipped with all the language to express their emotions.

[Luke Burbank]

Can you give me a vague, like, age range? Here is the.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, the dad was probably mid, late 30s.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

And the son was probably 20.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

So, very. So, you know, and they were. You could tell the son going in, said to the people interviewing him, basically, like, this guy has never apologized over the fact that he was an absent father. And that really, really haunts me. And I don't want anything to do. Do with him. And the father had said to the, you know, cameras, like, you know, I. This is when they weren't together. He was like, you know, I know he kind of blames me for the fact that he's in here as well, and, you know, I should have been a better father to him. And, like, through the grapevine of either the prison or the TV show, the son hears that the father is willing to apologize to him. And the change in the. The. The son says. I've never heard him say anything like that. And that immediately changes my thoughts around our relationship. So they get them. They're sitting down and they're talking. It starts off kind of tough because the father's, like, in a little bit of a sort of defensive mode about things that he thought he did try to do right during his son's life. But they eventually sort of get down to where the father does. He said, you know, he's basically admitting, like, I was a pretty lousy father and I resented your mother because she entered a relationship with someone else, and I took that out on you. And I was distant. And like, these two guys, like, it was a moment of real emotion that I swear to God, like, I don't know the last time I saw an unscripted TV show where this kind of thing happened. And the dad said, like, I know you think I'm saying this because these cameras are here. That's not why I'm doing this. And I totally bought it as a viewer. Like, it was. It was really kind of an emotional thing to watch. And I was like. So I spent, I want to say, six to seven hours watching Lock Up Louisville Extended Stay on Saturday, as I was like. And then I was just kind of puttering around my house and trying to figure out stuff that I could eat that would make me feel more sick. And I landed on some, like, I. I cooked up some rice in the instapot that also seemed kind of gentle on my stomach. And then I, like, went through my veggie drawer and just like took out everything that could be stir fried and kind of like cooked that up and threw some peanuts in at the end. And it was so good. You know what? It was reminiscent enough the kung pao chicken we used to get at Goldie's, like, minus the chicken, obviously, but, like, I just had this Saturday of just like hanging out in my house and, and, and kind of just basically nesting, just cozying up and watching way too much television that I had not set out to watch on that day. And it was, again, it was kind of a delight. It reminded me of being 24 again and just getting locked into a Top Chef marathon and watching that for six or seven hours on a Saturday.

[Luke Burbank]

I've never been drawn towards the more like, kind of reality style TV show, whether it's like the documentary style of the prison show, which, by the way, my connection to that, I don't have a connection to it. But the one, like, sort of touch point I have is you mentioned that show. I don't know if it originated on msnbc, but it was aired on msnbc. Right? And I remember, like, I never. I don't think I've heard a word of dialogue from that show, but it used to be on, I think, for the last hour of the radio show that I hosted at Cairo Radio, like from. Maybe it was on maybe from 9 to 10 on MSNBC and the ideas in the studio would all switch over. And it was such. I know I've said this to you before, like, also parts unknown. Isn't that the. The Bourdain show? I think that was on on Friday nights, maybe from the 9 to 10 hour or something like that. And so I had this weird relationship with those shows where I can't possibly explain with words the relationship you have to a show that is kind of constantly on. And while you're talking. You can see me right now, Luke. When I'm telling a story or talking, I'm usually not even looking right at you on the screen here. I'm sort of like, my eyes are wandering around as I'm looking for the next word or whatever. And your eyes just sort of are gravit. Your eyes gravitate towards the TVs. And then like, at the end of, like, a year of doing that, you're like, I have seen so much Anthony Bourdain. I have seen so much Locker. I can't tell you one thing about that show, but, like, certain parts of it just seeping.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, Anthony Bourdain Lockup was a. That was an amazing crossover episode that.

[Luke Burbank]

Actually was probably early in his career. He got into some trouble.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think he had. Yeah, he had a slightly checkered past. I know what you mean. I had. When I worked at KUOW, we had all these TVs running that were muted. And there was a show back then called Passions, which was a soap opera opera. I don't.

[Luke Burbank]

I believe I stayed at Passions when I was on vacation one time.

[Andrew Walsh]

You sure did. And the premise of Passions, if I understand right, because I've still never heard it with the sound, was it was a. It was a. It was a. It was a soap opera, but the. One of the main characters was a witch who had a doll that would come to life. And the doll, when the doll was. Had come to life, it would be played by, like, a. An actor, a person, maybe. I think the term we might use is person. Person of short stature or little person. And it was. If you just, like, Google Passions.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I am.

[Andrew Walsh]

Just imagine for like, two years of your professional life, you're trying to book guests for the conversation hosted by Ross Reynolds, or you're a producer on the show. Rewind. But every day, Monday through Friday, for an hour without any audio, you're watching this witch and her doll come to life. Life do all manner of crazy because it was just on King 5, right? Or whatever.

[Luke Burbank]

The channel was looking at clips of it. Now it is so low budget. I mean, it really does feel like an. It says 1999, but it feels like an 80s soap opera kind of quality, maybe even less production value than that.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's the cr. And we used to just be like. We'd be working, and then we'd look up and we'd be like, what in the hell? And again, it was on that station because it was played on a local Seattle station where they also would have the News at the top of the hour or if there was breaking. The idea was you want to have some of the TVs on local stations because there might be local news we need to know about. And then their. CNN was on one of the TVs, you know. But like, I have watched so much Passions, considering I've never heard any of.

[Luke Burbank]

The dialogue, I have a new obsession. Ask your dad if he can download these for me. I want to watch them in order. This is probably a terrible idea, but I see a woman, she's in the woods on a bicycle. Is there any chance this was locally produced? Because it looks. I believe.

[Andrew Walsh]

I believe this was a network. A network production. Let's see here. Passions.

[Luke Burbank]

It just sort of looks like the sound behind her a little bit, but.

[Andrew Walsh]

It looks like it was an American television soap opera. Originally aired on NBC from 1999 to 2007. Had a good run.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

The storyline center on the interactions among members of this multiracial core family, the African American Russells. I don't know why they need to describe this in the Wikipedia page. What everyone's race is. Let's see. I was just trying to find what's actually going on in the show. In the early days of the show, Passions heroine is Sheridan Crane and identified as a. Blah, blah, blah. Anyway, I was trying to find what's going on with the witch and the. And the. The doll come to life.

[Luke Burbank]

This ran exactly concurrently with the Sopranos, which is just amazing to me. 99 to 2000.

[Andrew Walsh]

Woke up this morning, got myself a doll.

[Luke Burbank]

So this woman is on a bicycle. She's got a bunch of. It looks like she's trying to carry like a kitchen chair on this bicycle. Actually, it's a tricycle. It's like an adult tricycle. And she's in the woods somewhere. There's a big fake rock and it looks like this doll is now actually alive and trying to hide from her. I can't tell what's going on here. We're going to give this a shot. This is going to be a terrible idea, but let's just try.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that the doll?

[Luke Burbank]

Terrible. The doll was making noise. I'm sorry. The doll was making some sort of grunting noise. To the woman. It looked like she just discovered him. I couldn't tell if they knew each other or not. And then the woman is whispering, look, look, somebody's coming or something. She's gesturing off camera. Oh, there's another woman here, a blonde woman.

[Andrew Walsh]

What do you mean?

[Luke Burbank]

Don't for do. Go get her. So the woman on the bike said, go get her. And now the little kid attacks this woman in the woods, and now it's a doll again. And the blonde woman is just whipping this doll all over. This is the craziest shit I've ever seen in my life. This woman is beating the hell out of a dollar.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hang on to our Timmy. Don't let her go. Timmy? That's the doll's name?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. Who'd have thought such a wispy girl.

[Andrew Walsh]

Was such a spitfire?

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my God. She's slamming him into the rock.

[Andrew Walsh]

But he's still a doll, right? He's not.

[Luke Burbank]

He's a doll. She's kicking him on the ground.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm beating up a doll. Are you all right? Yes. It's so weird.

[Luke Burbank]

I. I thought I was.

[Andrew Walsh]

Was being attacked by the Karate Kid or something, but she says the cruddy kid.

[Luke Burbank]

It sounded like cruddy. I was just going a tad too fast on my tricycle and I stopped and it flew out of the basket.

[Andrew Walsh]

Are you sure you're all right?

[Luke Burbank]

I'm fine. So, yeah, I don't know what led up to this, but this was a setup. The. The. The witch. I guess that's the witch. She was Tabitha.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

She was telling the doll to go attack this young blonde woman in the woods. I believe this is the.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is the Passion's theme song opening. It's a song called Breathe. I'm just imagining if this was like. Now imagine Tony Soprano is driving in New Jersey to this music.

[Luke Burbank]

Big stogie, highest breathing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I'm happy that buff witches escape my radar.

[Luke Burbank]

I have no idea.

[Andrew Walsh]

I can't believe this hasn't come up. Because it was a. I mean, ask anybody from that era of Kuow whether it's Rad Key or probably Jeannie Yandel. Like, maybe even. I don't know if P. Fletch was in on this. Maybe she was, but, like, I. We had so many conversations about what the hell was going on with Passions. So great. I actually would think it would be a fun project for you to embark on watching some of it. I mean, it might be, too. You and I both aren't into watching bad stuff for the sake of it.

[Luke Burbank]

It might, but I don't know.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, it probably comes down to how many gummies you've had. There might be. There might be a right amount of gummies and then too many gummies.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, maybe. I'm not sure. Yeah, that's not usually. That's not quite my move either.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I don't Know what? I don't know what would help. What would predispose.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm a little distracted here. Is there. Does anyone of this take part on. Does any of this take place on a beach as well? Because I'm getting some, some like Baywatchi vibes from another episode that I'm scanning through. But it's episode one, which means they might not have found their footing yet. Or Passion. Is it Passions?

[Andrew Walsh]

It's Passions, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

So it might just be that there's two. Are there two shows called Passions? Potentially.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, it seems like it sounds like a name of a soap opera. You know what I mean? Like, like. But I'm Googling.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. You know, we were in a good closing place on that conversation. I opened it. I'm just. I'm like trying to figure out if I can watch episode one of this thing. But it seems like a very, very different vibe. I think I'm. They've got it on Fubo.

[Andrew Walsh]

Got everything on Tel Aviv's. Here I go once again with the email.

[Luke Burbank]

Every week. I hope that it's from a female.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh man, it's not from a female. All right. Emails or V mails.

[Luke Burbank]

I have a. A very interesting story I want to share with you from a listener who would like to remain anonymous that is just slightly adult in nature because it involves prophylactics. Now, this was inspired by. I want to make this very clear. This was inspired by a story I was telling you where I was tripping on some over the counter drugs in college and I was out of my mind.

[Andrew Walsh]

You don't do gummies?

[Luke Burbank]

No, I do gummies, but I'm usually not going to sit there and watch bad tv. But anyway, I. Anyway, at this time I was like just out of my gourd. A young woman who apparently maybe had some interest in me, who was a friend of mine at the time, gave me a condom. But because I was so out of my brain I didn't know what it was. I think I thought it was a sticker or something. I'm just giving this detail and I cringe. I don't want this story to come up anymore. But there seems to be some confusion about whether or not I didn't realize it was a condom because. Because of my inexperience in romance or what. But I promise you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Or your complete refusal to use protection.

[Luke Burbank]

Or because I was the swordsman of Kent State. No, I was just like. I was on some pretty heavy drugs and I just was out of my mind. And then the next day I realized that this young woman had given it to me and was probably an invitation of sorts that was lost on me because I was a druggie. Anyway, this is another condom related story from a listener who would like to remain anonymous. Who says, hello, fellows. I listened to the episode with Andrew Story. It reminded me of my own tale of long ago. Valentine's Day, 1990. My college safe sex club is selling condom grams as a fundraiser. A friend sends me a condom gram. It's a cute Valentine's themed card with a gold circle. Condom.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, now let me just. You only know what's in the email, but it's an interesting. First of all, that was an interest. Maybe this is still the case in college. I feel like you and I came up in the. And this is gonna maybe be a little adult. I feel like you and I came up in the absolute peak of the safe sex movement. Like, I feel like everywhere on the college campus it was like, you know, condoms, dental dams, like, we're gonna be like, there was just. It seemed like it was a real thing. I don't. Maybe that's still what happens on colleges. Maybe there's a, like a. A lot of, you know, groups and things that are all dedicated to trying to promote safe sex. Some part of me feels like the messaging has kind of ebbed a little bit in the. Again, I'm not in college. I don't know what they're telling the kids, but the idea of sending a condom gram to someone, I guess as long as there's a. It's pretty forward. Let me tell you this. If somebody sends you a condom, it just seems like a pretty clear indication, I guess, that they're interested in you in that way, right?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I think so. Although in this case, it does seem like I'm just going for the context of this one. It seems like a platonic sort of thing, maybe a way of doing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Platonic condom?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, platonic condom. It said, only because the listener here says that it was sent by a friend specifically. I'm not sure if this friend was interested or not. But anyway, the listener goes on to say, like Andrew, I didn't have a use for a condom then. And also like Andrew, reflecting on all these years later, I wonder if the condom gram was meant as an invitation. I guess we'll never know. Okay, there you go. Here's the good part of the story.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

And this is. This is what the listener says, the good part that wasn't me editorializing at the end of the semester. I hadn't used the condom, so I tossed it in my big purse and headed to Oregon, where I spent the summer with my parents. I worked at a pizza parlor in Corvallis, and one day, after eating a bajillion pizzas with my employee discount, I decided to mix things up and drove to Wendy's on my lunch break. Standing at the counter and Wendy's, I placed my order and I reached into my purse for my wallet. The foil wrapping on the gold circle condom. Think of it as like two pieces of foil packaging on a chocolate coin. They had come apart after being smushed in the bottom of my purse for several months, and the condom itself was stuck to the corner of my wallet. As I removed my wallet from my purse, the open condom flew into the air and landed on the stack of Wendy's signature red trays next to the register. The teen who took my order and I were both very surprised at the the sight of an open condom sitting in the middle of the bright red tray on top of the stack. I quickly stuffed the condom into my purse, paid for my food, and sat to wait for my to go order. A different person would have fled Wendy's immediately, but not me. I really wanted that frosty. After several minutes, I approached the counter and received my bag of food from the same teen who had witnessed the flight of my condom. I drove off and ate my food in the car. I didn't grow up.

[Andrew Walsh]

Cough, right?

[Luke Burbank]

What's that?

[Andrew Walsh]

The flight of the condom.

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't grow up in Oregon, so I wasn't worried about any peers hearing about my most embarrassing Wendy's encounter. But that didn't stop me from being truly mortified. Needless to say, I never darkened the door of that Wendy's again. Power out. Anonymous listener.

[Andrew Walsh]

That reminds me of one of my favorite Simon Rich pieces, which I guess they adapted as a shouts and murmur. It's also in one of his books, I forget which which one. It's called Unprotected and it's all written from the perspective of a condom that's in his wallet that's never getting used. I born in factory. They put me in wrapper. They seal me in box. Three of us in box. In early days, they move us around from factory to warehouse, from warehouse to truck, from truck to store. One day in store, boy human sees us on shelf. He grabs us, hides under shirt. He rushes out outside. Anyway, if you're. I would highly recommend. I'd highly recommend anything that Simon Rich writes, but that one in particular was pretty funny. Unprotected. I I thought that that story was go. I thought that story was going to be even racier, Andrew.

[Luke Burbank]

Like it was you writing in your head and don't rush through it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I thought maybe that the listener was going to say that they found themselves after seeing I. So they said after eating like a million pizzas. What they meant was they were tired of eating pizza, so they were changing up there. I thought the story was going to be after eating a million pizzas in one day, they then. They then had a moment, they had a tryst with someone and they were very grateful that they had this condom with them because it was allowed for them to have a safe experience. But it was just that they were tired of eating pizza and they went to the Wendy's and it fell out of there. Also. At that point you can probably throw in the garbage.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Probably back into the wallet, back into the purse or where.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it was probably the quickest thing to do.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. To disappear it from view.

[Luke Burbank]

Disappear it. Exactly. Anyway, thank you, Anonymous for sending that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thanks, Anonymous. I remember because, you know, we went to like, the public health type of folks when I was a little kid and even a teenager. Like, we didn't ever have a, like a regular family physician or anything. And of course, because it was public health, they were very keen on, on a very, very judgment, free distribution of any kind of, you know, condom type of thing that you could imagine. Like there was just jars of it everywhere. And ironically, I did have a kid when I was 17, so it didn't sink in. But I just remember, like, one time I think I was there for like.

[Luke Burbank]

Imagine how many kids you'd have if they didn't exactly this message.

[Andrew Walsh]

I just, I just remember. I think I was maybe there getting a physical for like football or something, but, like, there was nobody in the waiting room with me or in the examination room and there was just like a candy jar of condoms. I remember just like taking two, three of them and putting in my pocket, no use for them. Nobody was. Nobody was interested in me in that way. But I. I identified them with sexual activity. Like, I don't even, like, I mean, I understood what. I kind of understood what they were, but they appealed to me, was these are sex adjacent. Like, I'm fascinated with these because I know that they're in the neighborhood of something called sex. And that's something I want to really find out more about and maybe do more. More of. And these are getting me one step closer. I remember just like stealing them and having absolutely no use for them ever.

[Luke Burbank]

And then Dr. Left Eye Lopez came out and said, we're ready for you now. Yeah, I mean, I was so embarrassed. I don't. What age do you think that was?

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, oh, I must have been probably like 13, 14 or something.

[Luke Burbank]

I remember how embarrassed I was buying my first can of shaving cream just to shave. Like, I remember being mortified.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, you shave down there. So I was also. Sex.

[Luke Burbank]

Manscaping? No, like manscape. I was like, you know, it's the 90s. Like, I was as nervous buying my first can of shaving cream almost as if I were buying a Playboy magazine.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wow.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, I just remember being. Because, like, I. I don't know why. I'm just, I was just so uptight and I grew up in a pretty, you know, I don't know repressive is the right word or not, but a repressed or whatever. But like, I just, I didn't, like, I didn't have the conversation with like my dad or anything. He didn't show me how to shave. I just remember getting to a point where it's like, well, other kids are shaving. Other guy. My, my other guys in my class are shaving and maybe I feel a tiny bit of peach fuzz. But then also people say, well, once you start shaving, it kind of encourages growth. You're like, well, at what point am I going to start doing this? And so I went and I believe I was. I think this was around the time that my dad got remarried. And I think maybe he and my stepmom were like out of town, maybe on a honeymoon type of situation. So I was staying with my grandparents. I remember I was staying with my grandparents for a short period of time. And so maybe, maybe that offered me more of a sense of anonymity or something. And so I walked in Fairview Park, Ohio, for you Cleveland heads out there. I remember walking to like a really old school style small drugstore because it sort of sounds like the kind that you worked in Luke, when you were, when you were a kid. Although it sounds like years old, which.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is now the Purple Store on Aurora, if you're curious.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, actually. Is that Purple Store still.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, no, it's a church now, isn't it? I think it's kind of one of those cool church where they play electric guitar.

[Luke Burbank]

Cool. No, that sounds so cool. But anyway, I remember. And then I was so nervous. And then you talk yourself into it like you're just going to. And for some reason I didn't buy razors. I think maybe I was just going to use My dad's or something. But then I buy it and then the woman of course does call me out. She's probably a middle aged woman. And now I look back, she's probably younger than me now, but like a middle aged woman. And she teased me when I was buying it and she said, oh, it looks like you're going to be up to no good.

[Andrew Walsh]

And she insisted that I. Shaving cream. Some windows.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. Or a locker or something like that. I'm like, no, no, it's for me. And I just remember I would, well, no, I would not like to revisit that. But part of me is interested in knowing what that whole exchange looked like. I remember just wanting to get out of there so quickly. Why was I embarrassed about shaving cream? There's just something about puberty and like I was just mortified of everything.

[Andrew Walsh]

I never, I did not need shaving cream. To this day I probably don't need shaving cream, sadly. But I do remember, I don't think it was in a store, but I think that it's. I think adults love joking around. Well, I guess the nature of this joke from that adult was that you were going to go do something nefarious with it. I was going to say, I think adults also like joking with men going through puberty about shaving. Because I remember somebody, some adult saying to me like, you know, when I was, you know, I don't know, probably 15, 16, something about shaving and saying, oh, you don't need a razor, just put some milk on your face and let the cat lick it off like. And that, that would take it. I think that was just like a statement of saying like you don't have very much facial hair. Which by the way would prove to be a permanent condition for me. This is me, Andrew. This is two days of no shaving.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh yeah. I'm looking in the, in the camera here. I don't see, I mean any evidence of anything.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's weird. If you were to, if you got a really close look, there's a little bit of hair on my neck but you know, it's snow white.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh yeah. I get a. You can probably see I'm getting a lot more white in my beard these days. Especially if I grow it out a little. Little bit.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. It's like I don't think of myself. I have gray hair on the sides. The top of my hair is pretty dark. I don't think of myself as. I mean, I guess I do have gray hair. So I don't know why it's shocking, but there's something about when. If I were to, like, leave, if I were to not shave for like, two weeks, you would start to see the tiniest bit of evidence, and it would all be gray and white neck hair, which is. I don't identify with that part of myself yet.

[Luke Burbank]

It only. Yeah, the. The. The whitening of it. Yeah. And it would only grow sort of like below your chin, sort of.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, a tiny bit. And then. I mean, I haven't tried a mustache since we did the whatever that was contest in the early days. Not contest, but like, it wasn't like a fundraiser.

[Luke Burbank]

Was it that Movember thing way back?

[Andrew Walsh]

Maybe it might have been Movember. It was one of those, like. Yeah, it was one of those things that was big at the time of like, don't shave for a month. I don't remember us actually raising money for anything. But it was just. I think it was just as an experiment and it was so, so disappointing. My body's inability to grow even the most scant of mustachios. I eventually had to dye. After a month of not shaving my upper lip. I had to dye the blonde little baby hairs with like a Just for men, just for it to even be slightly visible.

[Luke Burbank]

Noticeable.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I've told this story on the show many times, but leading up to that, I just had this, like, little tiny fuzz on my lip. And I used to go to this place, the Hideaway, and play cards off. I was just. The other week on the show, I was just saying how my routine would be finish TBT all at Cairo, go up to the Hideaway, play cards till way too late at night, and then hit the McDonald's on the way home. So I was living my best life. And I remember. And these are some real. There were some normal people there, but there were also some real degens at this card room. Like, you know, and this is poker. So you're sitting around a circular table or an oval table with other people, and many of of them are, you know, have been through it in life. And I remember this was about the time I started playing. There was the same time I'm trying to grow this mustache out, and I wasn't talking about it with anyone. But then finally when we finished it and I shaved it and I went into this place, the Hideaway, which I think I've described on the show as Ma Eisley space court esque. Some guy looked at me, goes, oh, I'm really glad you shaved that mustache. That was really upsetting.

[Luke Burbank]

That was really Upsetting.

[Andrew Walsh]

That was upsetting.

[Luke Burbank]

That was.

[Andrew Walsh]

That looked really weird or something. Like, I was like, listen, buddy, you know, like, I don't know. I don't want to say anything too stereotypical, but I was like, I can't believe this is what was upsetting the people at the hideaway card room was my bad mustache.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, it'd be interesting if that was actually an advantage for you if you're playing poker with these folks. Like, they're so disgusting. I saw something. Can I tell you something about.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

There are certain things I see on TV that just kind of give me the bad feeling is the wrong word. But this, like, really turned me off. And that's one of the reasons I don't like reality TV and stuff is like, even the good reality tv, Like, I hear such good things about the great British Bake off and all. You know, Genevieve watches one that is related, I believe, to crafting. I think that is also British. You know, I know that these things. And also put the Kardashians in there. Any kind of reality tv, whatever you think of it, high quality, low quality, it's all like sort of this brightly lit. It all feels like daytime television to me. I just don't like that. And like, I'm somebody who likes to have like, maybe TV or some sort of video thing going on in the background if I'm just hanging out in the rumpus room. But. But that means I'll put on something more vintage or some weird animation or whatever. I just don't like in the background a TV playing something that has that kind of look to it. And one of the main ones is those poker shows, you know, the live poker contest, whatever. And now there are so many of them. And, you know, there was one that I was watching. I wasn't trying to watch it the other day. I told you on Friday that I went to this, our friends, like little boat club called the college club to have a game night. And I wasn't participating in one of the games they were playing. I was just playing shuffleboard by myself and keeping score, by the way, Shufflebot. There was a. And there was a big TV on, and there was one employee there who was just sort of keeping an eye on things. And I remember there was some sort of sports programming. I think basketball was on. And I was like, oh, that's kind of a bummer. I'm not really into basketball, but I wish there was some better visual spackle going on in the background. Basketball game ends and she picks up the remote. I'm like, put on something good. Let's go, Matlock. Let's go Matlock. Let's go, Matlock. No whammies, no whammies, no ma'am. Murder she Wrote, anything that's cozy. And she ends up landing on some sort of. It's not the World Series of Poker.

[Andrew Walsh]

Something called Poker After Dark or some shit.

[Luke Burbank]

Party Poker, I think is what it was called, like, spun. And you know, I'm look, you know, and everybody's like, the one guy's got on the wraparound mirror glasses. I just look at everybody on there and I'm just like, I'm making some pretty major judgments about all of them. I'm not even paying that much of attention.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's a lot of hooligans.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm sure they.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sure, it's very red pilled bro culture coded.

[Luke Burbank]

Now, a lot of guys who probably get their coffee from that place that sells coffee and guns, black stickers of, I don't know, just like kind of got that. But one of the dudes, I don't even know why I'm bringing this up, because he wants me to talk about one of the dudes. I was like, oh, that's interesting. Is he sitting backwards in his chair or something? And then I realized, no, no, he's full on. Playing poker while getting a massage.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Like he. And that's. Is that a common thing even in person? That's something that you've played with people who are getting full.

[Andrew Walsh]

I've gotten a massage.

[Luke Burbank]

Really?

[Andrew Walsh]

It's a thing in poker rooms, particularly bigger poker rooms, where there will be massage therapists who are just kind of walking around and they're like, hey, does anybody want a massage? I think I did it one time because, like, let's be honest.

[Luke Burbank]

But then the chair started beeping, the quarters in it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, that's right. I. I think I thought, well, who doesn't want a massage? But then I was so. I was so mortified.

[Luke Burbank]

Like to be. You're the only one at the table getting a massage.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, no other people do it, but they just look dumb. And I, and I like, basically, I think I said, okay. I think I felt a little bad because someone's walking around, a human being is walking around going, massage, massage, massage. And let's say it's like a dollar a minute or $5aminute. I can't remember what it is. But then, yeah, they'll turn you turn the chair around and they just like give you like a shoulder and kind of arm massage. Back massage, massage while you're sitting there playing. I think it seemed like something that was going to be relaxing probably. Also I was many drinks in. But then I remember while it was happening, being like, I don't want to share this experience.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

With a brightly lit room of like a hundred other people. Like, I was like, this is embarrassing. I feel weird about this.

[Luke Burbank]

Did it take you out of the game too? A little bit, I would think.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was probably never in the game mentally. I was probably in my cups, but. But that's a, that's a very common thing actually. And yeah, it's a whole part of the ecosystem of a. Like, if you were to go to like, like Hollywood park in Inglewood or the bike in Commerce or any of those places, like, or the Commerce Casino, I should say, in Commerce, like any of those big places will have massage therapists kind of wandering around playing the room.

[Luke Burbank]

This person. At first I thought their chair was just turned around, but it did look like they were in a special massage chair. I, I realized that like, it was like one of those things where it had.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, really? I've never had that.

[Luke Burbank]

And I feel like he might have been laying down. I never got a great.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh my God, that's crazy.

[Luke Burbank]

It was definitely one of those black cushiony things with a cutout in like, you know, half a hole in it, wild for his face. And he was leaning it on that. He's probably wearing sunglasses too. And somebody's like working on him. And I think he might have been laying face down or at least partially.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, that's next level. I've never seen that. And that is like, that's such a weird flex. I mean the whole thing is weird, but it's extra weird if you're fully in like a full on massage chair with your face poking through that weird hemorrhoid donut.

[Luke Burbank]

It was pretty strange. I'd also just like I say like, do you know what I mean? Like, I even thought like, well, I know the very basics of how to play this. Like, maybe I could get into it. And then I was just like, I don't like looking at these people. I don't like looking at this lighting.

[Andrew Walsh]

Imagine one of them had a real sad mustache.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, right. It'd be very, very distracting.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sparse, little sad mustache.

[Luke Burbank]

Can you imagine if I were in charge of the lighting at a poker game? Oh, man. I don't know how much you and Todd Glass. I was going to say me and Todd Glass. Never. Never. Are we allowed? Sexier? Certainly would be. We'd put a little Red kerchiefs over.

[Andrew Walsh]

The lamps, opening all the refrigerators, and undoing the light inside the refrigerator, which is his famous move. It's really strange because for somebody who was very, very obsessed with poker, for 10 years of my life, I couldn't watch enough of it on television. I couldn't play enough of it in real life. It was a huge part of my personality. I guess you could. You could not pay me enough to watch people playing poker on TV anymore. I just don't care. It's really weird. I don't know why. That's just whiffed out of my brain. I would maybe play a little bit of poker for fun. Like, if there was a home game, that might be kind of fun, but for considering how big of a deal it was in my mind. Like, I would play it every single week. My friend Kevin Arnovitz had a home game that was, like, a really big deal. We would all like. It was. That was every Wednesday night, and then it was, like, on the weekends, I'm at Hollywood Park. Like, it was significant part of my life. And now there's nothing I find less interesting than watching poker on Passions.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Watching it on tv, Like, I don't care that somebody got their aces cracked anymore. I don't care that, like. Like there was. I just don't care about it. Like, what's happening to any of these people. Probably some of it, too, has to do with. Yeah. Who the next generation of poker players are. Like, when I got into watching it on tv, first of all, it had only recently been televised because that was the big breakthrough. Right. Was that they had these little cameras they used to try to show the World Series of Poker, but nobody knew what was going on.

[Luke Burbank]

They didn't show the cards.

[Andrew Walsh]

They didn't show the cards.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, wow.

[Andrew Walsh]

Because the. So the breakthrough was this executive, I think maybe at espn, this TV executive, had this idea, like, here's what we're gonna do. We're going to have cameras that are going to be in the. You know, embedded in the. The table. This. The feed of this is not going to go anywhere other than back to one trailer where you have Vince Van Patten and. I forget his name, Mike something. Basically, the announcers. Where you're going to have the announcers. They will see this on a. On a feed, a closed circuit feed, but no one else will ever see this until we edit it and put it out, like, months later. So the idea was because they were.

[Luke Burbank]

Always to not spook the players.

[Andrew Walsh]

To not spook the players. To not stream it live. Like, they were like, how do we make this a more televisable thing? Well, people need to know what the cards are in real time so they can figure out what the strategy is. And the only way to do that was this, this complex system of tape delaying it and making it so. Because a lot of the players initially were like, camera on my card. Right. That's seems like a recipe for disaster. But they convinced them. And of course it was a breakthrough because all of a sudden the popularity of this thing exploded. There's more money in the tournaments. People are winning. But like the guys that were winning when I was watching it were like Greg the Fossil Man Ramer, or like a guy literally named Chris Moneymaker. Like, it really was this kind of like fun, weird thing where people that had normal lives which just liked poker would show up and sometimes win this tournament. And it's become so hyper specialized. It's all these, it's so many people now who got their start playing like high frequency poker where they're like watching four different. They're playing four or 10 games at all times on their computer screen at home. Like, and they're like, they've become the. They're like, they're like a. More of a computer program than a human. And they know every single, like, you know, the original guys on this were like Doyle Brunson, known as Texas Dolly, used to sell school office furniture around Texas. And then he would play in these poker games on the weekends to make a little extra dough. And you know what, whatever. It's like this nostalgia around the past is a dangerous. It's a dangerous road, generally speaking. But I don't know, there was something about it that I found kind of fun. And there's a great book by a writer named M. Ives called the Biggest Game in Town about the World or the, the, the World Series of Poker in like the 1980s in, I want to say, the Binion's Horseshoe in old Vegas. And these were just characters that were in there playing, you know, and they would just play for days and days and days. It'd be like seven or eight guys. I have, I have a lot of nostalgia for those days. Nowadays it's just like you said, it's just a bunch of people in wraparound glasses who are all like absolutely beyond up on the, on the, on the data of this thing. It just doesn't feel quite as fun as it used to.

[Luke Burbank]

I thought I had seen something online over the weekend that I just fact checked and I see it's not quite what I thought it was. But if I were to find a quiz is about the nicknames of professional athletes, how well do you think you would do?

[Andrew Walsh]

Is this worst depend on the era.

[Luke Burbank]

It would depend on the era. So I'd have to find like you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Could get it in the 90s. I, I would, I think I would do okay, 90s.

[Luke Burbank]

I might do a little bit less. I want to see if we can maybe do a little mid win, I guess maybe like end of winter game or something this week. I'd love to see how we could find a 90s sports nature nickname quiz. Oh, every time you say so and so the something so and so, it just delights me so much.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. The fossil man. Greg Ramer was the fossil man. Why he wore. I think he might. I don't know if he was actually into like archaeology or fossils, but what he. His thing was he wore these glasses and like imagine like the kind of wire rim glasses that John La Lenin kind of made famous. But now imagine that each one of those lenses has holographic dinosaur eyes in it. Remember when they were selling those glasses that had like hologram eyes in them?

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, a little bit. You mean like if you moved your head. I mean the very, very basic, like stickers on them. No, I think I'm thinking of something.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm gonna send you a picture of these right now. They're so great. They were basically like, yeah, Greg Fosselman Ramer. These were these holographic lizard eyes. And what he would do is when he was thinking about a hand, in order to sort of like make it harder on his opponent to read him, he would put on these holographic lizard.

[Luke Burbank]

Eyeglasses and grow the world. Sad, saddest mustache. And that's how he would distract them.

[Andrew Walsh]

That was my move. Maybe we have a show pick. It'll be Greg Fossil Man Raymer today. I'll send it to you.

[Luke Burbank]

Email me that and I'll take a look at that. I'm now distracted because I'm looking for. For quizzes here. I see I do have. Yeah, this would not be good for the air. But I gotta find this. Or maybe a listener can make it for us. I don't. Or find one for us. I don't know.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. Our version of making something which would be, could you do that for us?

[Luke Burbank]

And then you send it to me. I'll be like, did I talk about this on the show? I have no recollection of what we did on Monday.

[Andrew Walsh]

All right, I'M sending you this Raymer picture which means we have the. We have the show recorded today. We have the show pick. It's. You know, we're 90% of way there.

[Luke Burbank]

I hope you feel better. I did not so on.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm doing better today. I'm on the mend.

[Luke Burbank]

When we were doing the show on Friday where you start you. Because you said you started to feel bad on Thursday. I don't remember you mentioning this to me on Friday. So good for you for being very stoic.

[Andrew Walsh]

I guess I'm the strong silent type, as you know.

[Luke Burbank]

I know. Never a wasted word between the two of us.

[Andrew Walsh]

A real John Wayne type over here. All right, well, thanks for listening, everybody. That, that's going to do it for today's show. But we will be back here tomorrow, Lord willing. And the creeks don't rise. Boy, it's. It's windy and rainy here at the Madrona Hill studio, so hopefully we'll won't be underwater tomorrow. In the meantime, have a great Monday. Take care of yourselves and please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Luke Burbank]

And good luck to all.

[Andrew Walsh]

Here he comes. Here comes John Wayne. I'm not gonna cry about my pa. I'm gonna build an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? You can keep them bottled up, but they will come out, Michael. Sometimes in the most unexpected. Hey, where the are my hard boiled eggs? Power out.