#4420 You’ll Never Believe What These Local Podcasters Just Said!

Summary

Summary of TBTL Episode #4420: "You’ll Never Believe What These Local Podcasters Just Said!"

Release Date: March 11, 2025

TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live is a daily podcast hosted by longtime friends Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh. In Episode #4420, titled "You’ll Never Believe What These Local Podcasters Just Said!", Luke and Andrew dive into a variety of engaging topics, blending personal anecdotes with sharp social commentary. Below is a detailed summary of the episode, structured into clear sections for ease of reading.

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I. Megan's High School Story

The episode begins with a personal and poignant story shared by Megan.

• Megan ([00:00]): Describes her tumultuous high school experience, stating, "They threw firecrackers at my head. Firecrackers. I mean literally. I'm not saying that figuratively." She recounts being bullied and labeled a "freak," but emphasizes her resilience by saying, "I pulled myself up. I studied really hard. I read every book in the library. And now I work for the government."

• Andrew ([00:19]) and Luke ([00:46]) respond humorously but respectfully to Megan's revelations, highlighting the show's blend of humor and heartfelt moments.

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II. Discussion on Comedy and Entertainment

The hosts briefly discuss a comedian from the '80s, referencing Rick Moranis and his comedic style.

• Andrew ([01:05]): Explains his admiration, saying, "Anytime you can do something that's fun you like to do and make money doing it, hey, it's a win, win, win."

• Luke ([01:04]) adds, "Oh, he's hilarious dog," showcasing their friendly banter.

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III. Show Opening and Updates

Luke and Andrew officially kick off the episode with their signature humor.

• Luke ([01:30] - [03:22]): Greets listeners with, "Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Tuesday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live." He shares updates about his attempts to create a viral TikTok dish, humorously noting, "That, and it didn't turn out that great."

• Andrew ([03:22]): Joins from the studio, mentioning a minor mishap, "I just spilled coffee all over there. It's not that bad, but it's not that great either."

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IV. Critique of Seattle Times' Headlines

A significant portion of the episode focuses on the hosts' frustration with the Seattle Times' clickbait headlines.

• Luke ([02:28] - [03:22]): Criticizes the newspaper, stating, "They love to write these headlines that are... I pay these folks, I don't know what it is, $20 a month... I just want them to let me know in the headline what they're."

• Andrew ([22:00] - [26:41]): Echoes Luke's sentiments, expressing, "I am so mad at these click-baity headlines from the Seattle Times... Another one: Southwest Airlines ditches a beloved policy."

• Notable Quote ([22:42] - [26:10]):

  • Andrew: "Wow, you think the Seattle Times could be."
  • Luke: "But Beaches... Hook into it like Cheesecake Factory."

The hosts engage in a playful yet critical exercise of rewriting sensational headlines to be more straightforward and informative.

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V. Listener Interactions: 'Yays and Nays' and Seed Donations

Engaging with their audience, Luke and Andrew highlight listener contributions and feedback.

• Andrew ([29:00] - [35:57]): Introduces their "Yays and Nays" segment from the Friday newsletter, sharing a heartfelt "yay":

  • Listener Praise ([29:21] - [29:44]):
    • Andrew shares: "Yay to the complete stranger who found my phone after it slipped out of my pocket... Thanks for your kindness and providing that this big bad city is only big, not bad."

• Luke ([31:42] - [35:57]): Acknowledges donations, specifically thanking Laura Gerkin from St. Petersburg, Florida, who contributes seeds for listeners:

  • Seed List Highlights ([43:37] - [45:35]):
    • Bachelor buttons, Polka dot basil, Rutger's devotion, Beardtongue Pristine Lila, Calendula Pacific mix, Chamomile Chives, Cosmos Pink shell Daisy, Shasta Echinacea Sweet Sandia Lettuce, Little gem Loofah, and more.

The exchange showcases the community aspect of the podcast, fostering a sense of belonging among listeners.

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VI. Cooking Experiment: Healthy Onion Rings

Luke attempts a viral TikTok recipe for healthy onion rings, leading to a humorous and relatable discussion.

• Luke ([48:10] - [55:03]): Describes his cooking process:

  • "You put shredded Parmesan on parchment paper, slice the onion, season with paprika, garlic powder, salt, and pepper, then bake. It didn't turn out as expected."

• Andrew ([51:11] - [55:03]): Joins in discussing the failure, saying, "It was almost overly cooked because I really wanted the cheese to be crispy. But the onions were still kind of undercooked."

• Notable Quote ([54:43] - [55:03]):

  • Luke: "I would say if you were like me, have been getting assaulted on TikTok with images of people cooking up... beware. It may not be as good as they're making it look."

The segment highlights the challenges of home cooking and the often misleading nature of viral recipes.

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VII. Grocery Store Security Measures

The hosts delve into their experiences with grocery store security, sharing personal anecdotes and observations.

• Andrew ([56:05] - [62:54]): Narrates a story about an anti-theft measure at his favorite grocery store, recounting how a miscommunication led to him leaving without his groceries but ultimately retrieving them.

• Luke ([60:44] - [62:54]): Adds his perspective on store security, noting the pervasive presence of cameras and loss prevention strategies:

  • "These stores have the right to not be stolen from... it's robust."

• Notable Quote ([61:01] - [62:54]):

  • Andrew: "Companies like the major corporation that is trying to cut corners like crazy... I am not messing with that."

This discussion underscores the tension between customer convenience and store security measures.

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VIII. TV Show Discussions: Severance and Paradise

Luke and Andrew review and analyze TV shows, primarily focusing on Severance and briefly touching upon Paradise.

• Severance Discussion ([66:13] - [84:36]):

  • Andrew ([66:13] - [82:56]): Shares his thoughts on Severance, expressing appreciation for its depth despite some confusion:
    • "She was huffing aether and says, I haven't done this since I was eight... Such a bleak episode."
  • Luke ([66:13] - [84:36]): Offers his take, emphasizing the show's ongoing plot intricacies and character developments:
    • "They are setting up... I really hope that they have a plan for tying this all up to some degree at the end."

• Paradise Mention ([81:08] - [84:43]):

  • Both hosts briefly discuss Paradise, with Luke referencing a positive review:
    • "Vulture's review from Katherine Van Arendonk. It's a smooth brain dystopia and I feel fine."

The segment reflects the hosts' engagement with contemporary television, blending critique with personal opinions.

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IX. Tribute to Bob Rivers

Concluding the episode on a somber note, Luke and Andrew pay tribute to Bob Rivers, a longtime Seattle broadcaster who recently passed away.

• Andrew ([84:57] - [89:24]): Announces the sad news, expressing his feelings:

  • "Bob Rivers passed away. Longtime Seattle broadcaster here... RIP Bob Rivers."

• Luke ([84:58] - [89:24]): Shares memories of Bob Rivers, highlighting his generosity and impact on the Seattle radio community:

  • "He was a really sweet guy and really generous with his time... RIP Bob Rivers."

• Notable Quote ([85:32] - [89:24]):

  • Luke: "There's no kind of perspective on life... He lived an incredibly full, really rich life and had a really good perspective on life."

The tribute serves as a heartfelt acknowledgment of Rivers' legacy and contribution to the local broadcasting scene.

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Conclusion

Episode #4420 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live offers a blend of personal storytelling, social commentary, community engagement, and industry critique. From Megan's inspiring high school journey to the hosts' candid discussions on media sensationalism and grocery store security, Luke and Andrew deliver an episode that's both entertaining and thought-provoking. Their ability to interweave humor with meaningful dialogue ensures that listeners are not only amused but also left with reflections on various aspects of daily life.

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Notable Quotes:

1. Megan ([00:20]): "They threw firecrackers at my head. Firecrackers. I mean literally."
2. Andrew ([01:05]): "Anytime you can do something that's fun you like to do and make money doing it, hey, it's a win, win, win."
3. Luke ([02:28]): "They love to write these headlines that are... I pay these folks, I don't know what it is, $20 a month... I just want them to let me know in the headline what they're."
4. Andrew ([29:21]): "Yay to the complete stranger who found my phone after it slipped out of my pocket... Thanks for your kindness."
5. Luke ([43:37]): "Bachelor buttons, Polka dot Varietal, Basil, Rutgers Devotion..."
6. Andrew ([51:11]): "It was almost overly cooked because I really wanted the cheese to be crispy. But the onions were still kind of undercooked."
7. Andrew ([56:05]): "Companies like the major corporation that is trying to cut corners like crazy... I am not messing with that."
8. Luke ([85:32]): "He lived an incredibly full, really rich life and had a really good perspective on life."

This structured summary captures the essence of the episode, ensuring that all key points, discussions, insights, and conclusions are conveyed effectively for both regular listeners and newcomers.

Transcript

[Megan]

I think you're ready now to hear a little story about a girl. Girl named Megan. Girl named Megan that didn't have a very good time in high school. I'm referring to myself when I say Megan. It's me, Megan. I know you look at me now and think, boy, she must have breezed through high school. Not the case, Annie.

[Andrew]

Okay.

[Megan]

They used to try to blow me up. They threw firecrackers at my head. Firecrackers. I mean literally. I'm not saying that figuratively. I got firecrackers thrown at my head. They called me a freak. You know what I did? I pulled myself up. I studied really hard. I read every book in the library. And now I work for the government. I have the highest possible security clearance. Don't repeat that.

[Andrew]

I won't.

[Megan]

I can't protect you. I know where all the nukes are and I know the codes.

[Luke Burbank]

I won't say anything.

[Megan]

You would be amazed. A lot of shopping malls. Don't repeat that.

[Andrew]

TBTL. Oh, snap. This comedian was crazy in the 80s with his raw and delirious routines. Jared.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, he's hilarious dog.

[Andrew]

Who is Rick Moranis. Anytime you can do something that's fun you like to do and make money doing it, hey, it's a win, win, win. And anytime you can win, win, win, you're win, win, winning. You know, if you're just winning or win winning, that's just winning or win winning. But when you're win, win, winning, you're win, win, winning.

[Luke Burbank]

Hell, yeah.

[Andrew]

Oh, won't somebody please think of the children?

[Luke Burbank]

All right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Tuesday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

[Andrew]

Slapjacking.

[Luke Burbank]

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. Hello. How are.

[Andrew]

Ooh.

[Luke Burbank]

Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Colombia, where we are stealing one more day of dry weather. Oh, Ma Pa. It's just beautiful. I don't know if I'd go so far as to say it's beautiful, but it's not actively raining. And we will take it on a Tuesday, March 11, as we arrive at episode 4420 in a collector series, Let the fun begin. Tried something last night. I tried to make a viral TikTok dish.

[Andrew]

There's a waste of time to do.

[Luke Burbank]

That, and it didn't turn out that great. I want to save you maybe the time and energy or just manage your expectations on that. Also, speaking of things that aren't great, Seattle Times is added again. With their headlines.

[Andrew]

I'd like to point out to anybody.

[Luke Burbank]

Watching this is really bunk journalism. They love to write these headlines that are. They love. I pay these folks, I don't know what it is, $20 a month, whatever a newspaper subscription is these days. And I just want them to let me know in the headline what they're. Is my $20 not enough to find out in the headline what is really going on. Speaking of not understanding what is really going on. The past is history, the future's a mystery. I watched the latest episode of Severance and I texted Andrew some slightly regrettable things last night, which I'd like to walk back in the sober light of day as I've had some time to reflect. But I still don't really know what's going on. We'll probably talk Severance coming up on the show. Oh, speaking of my good friend Andrew Walsh. He is the longest running cobra of the show, maybe best known for his refining of the macro data.

[Andrew]

Isn't that for techno geeks with spreadsheet?

[Luke Burbank]

He's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew]

I just spilled coffee all over there. It's not that bad, but it's not that great either.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a constant fear I have here on my workspace. It's. I have this like you've actually seen it because you've been here, but I have this large square of. I guess it's sort of corduroy. It's kind of like an industrial corduroy. And I put it on this table for sound absorption.

[Andrew]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know if it's necessary or not. I just.

[Andrew]

No, I think it's a good idea.

[Luke Burbank]

But it's not like a perfectly smooth surface. And I always wonder, will this be the day that I end up with a major coffee spill? It wasn't me today, but it was you. I'm sorry about that.

[Andrew]

Do you want to hear about I. Irony? I'm afraid that the story might be that perfect combination of a little bit too long and a little bit not interesting enough, but.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, you mean the TBTL sweet spot.

[Andrew]

That's right, yes. Ever since you brought me on board, that's been sort of the hallmark.

[Luke Burbank]

But no offense, but we were doing it long before you served.

[Andrew]

Yeah, but I like to think I perfected it. Listen.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you refined the macro.

[Andrew]

Refined it exactly. Now can you see. I know that probably listeners can't see this. It'd be weird if they could. But I'm holding up to the screen a green thermos it's classic old Stanley, old school green thermos. Except it's not that old school because the history of this thermos is thus. When I was first dating Genevieve, we both loved the movie the Jerk, featuring one Steve Martin.

[Luke Burbank]

And I think of it more as a Jackie Mason vehicle.

[Andrew]

But okay, bit of a Jackie Mason vehicle. You're right about that. And Bernadette Peters gets her.

[Luke Burbank]

It's actually legit. Does kind of.

[Andrew]

Yeah, she's actually awesome. Okay, so there is a big. A kind of recurring joke or kind of side story. Not really side story, but event in the movie where he sings Bernadette Peters a song called I'm picking out a thermos for you.

[Luke Burbank]

This rings a bit of a bell.

[Andrew]

It's just a very sweet thing. He's an idiot in love and he buys her a thermos and he sings the song with his ukulele about picking out the perfect thermos for her. So Genevieve and I both love that movie. On our, I believe I want to say our first anniversary, maybe I got her a Stanley. Classic Stanley thermos. Like this. The kind that you would take up to. If you were a construction worker. You would take this up. You would hang your.

[Luke Burbank]

If you were gonna sit on an iron bar.

[Andrew]

Exactly what I was gonna say. If you're eating lunch, take off an I beam and eat a bologna sandwich and have a little cup of coffee or soup. You would be drinking it out of this Stanley thermos. So I bought it for her. It was a cute thing. And now I actually use it a lot. I bring it down here to my office every day. I know it was a gift for Genevieve. Same one of those things that's been.

[Luke Burbank]

In your family's life, if you will, for all of the years you've been together. Incredible.

[Andrew]

Yeah, except for the first one, I guess because it was a one year anniversary. But you know, this kind of.

[Luke Burbank]

When was 9, 11.

[Andrew]

Yeah. When did Schubert dip burned those metal beams? The classic thermos has like a screw on cap, but then another screw on cap that goes over top of that usually. And you can use that as a little cup if you wanted to, you know, pour your coffee or soup into it. Most people are familiar with that concept. I think our little thermoses as kids had the same deal. Point is, I use this, I bring it down here and I also take it to my volunteer pop up gig on Sundays. We have one fella who comes by every week and he. I don't know how he finagled this out of me. But he gets his own thermos of coffee. Like everybody. I serve coffee to everybody, one cup at a time. But this guy stops by every single week for years now.

[Luke Burbank]

So he brings a thermos?

[Andrew]

No, I bring it. Oh, yeah, he brings his own. I'm sor. Fill this as, like, an extra thermos of coffee. That is not for, like, kind of everybody. It's just for him. And then he comes with his thermos and he dumps it in there. And then I take it back. Yeah, yeah, It's. It's nice to be nice.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, at the time, I was nice to that scullery maid that turned out to be the owner of the restaurant.

[Andrew]

The scullery made. Exactly. God, I wish you had described it that way.

[Luke Burbank]

It was Shirley Temple and the Little Princess.

[Andrew]

Just a brutal, like, what, Manchester accent or something.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. Something from the Midlands. Yeah.

[Andrew]

But anyway, all of that is. Say, the reason I'm going to detail about the lid upon the lid is I. So I take this to pop up every single week, and usually I have both lids on it. And the other day I took it to pop up and I was. It was a really rainy day. I couldn't get the lock off of the shed where we store everything, so I was running late and panicking. Eventually we got to lock off, but it was just like a rare, really kind of weird, panicky Sunday for me as we're setting up as fast as possible in this. It was like two or three weeks ago. It was like that really nasty cold, like, heavy downpouring rain, and so everything. And I don't know, I just get into this mode. I remember one point, a woman, a volunteer, just looked at me and said, you need to calm down. Whoa.

[Luke Burbank]

How did you take that? I could see not. I would maybe not respond well to that kindly enough.

[Andrew]

And then I checked in with some other people later. They're like, you're fine, and we didn't notice anything. You're whatever. But anyway, I think she just meant it kindly. I think I had somewhat wild eyes, as I get sometimes.

[Luke Burbank]

So tables are how I make my living.

[Andrew]

That's literally. Yeah. So anyway, I'm floundering about at one point, and I have this entire green tote bag that is filled with a bunch of coffee supplies, including this green thermos. And the green thermos fell out of the bag and landed directly on its lid. And when my friend came by to get his coffee, we couldn't get the lid off. At first I thought he was teasing Me. He's a real. He's a real ball buster. Sorry for the language there. He's a real ball snapper. So he's like trying to open it. I think he's faking it. And I'm like, just give it to me. And I'm like, oh, shoot. I actually busted this lid. Like we start pounding it on things. What happened was it was full of coffee. It landed directly in its lid. The lid got jammed and we couldn't get the lid off. And we spent all like. We spent like a half hour kind of like trying to loosen it, doing varying things that was making it worse and worse. I eventually he never got the coffee out of it. Brought it. I had to bring it home. I put it it in a vice. Luke, out in the garage we talk about vices that they got those plumbing wrenches with the really big, you know, yaw or whatever you would call it. I don't think it's y'all.

[Luke Burbank]

And I also don't know the term for it.

[Andrew]

And I would open, you know, and I did everything I could. I could not save the thermos. I had to throw away that, as you said, like 23, 24 year old thermos. And I had to replace it with this new Stanley. It was actually the last purchase I made on Amazon before saying completely goodbye to that practice. It's. It's the same brand. It doesn't feel quite as substantial as the old one did. There's a couple of small design changes. It's fine. But the thing that haunts me is I always have a double lid on this thing. And the one day, the one day that it fell and landed directly on its head. I had made a conscientious or I had made a conscious decision, I should say, to not bring the extra lid that day. I remember thinking to myself as I was packing up my bag of supplies, why do you always double lid this? You don't need to do this and you're just risking losing the upper lid. It serves no purpose. I remember having this thought and then this damn thing absolutely breaks on me. It wouldn't have happened if I had properly secured it with both lids. So that one's gone.

[Luke Burbank]

You won the lottery. Take a note, Morissette. It's like dropping your thermos after. On the one day. And this is actually irony. It is unlike many of the things in this song.

[Andrew]

Let me also, while we're here, pitch you an idea. I have called. You ought or know.

[Luke Burbank]

I know, I'm sorry. I've Just imperiled this show.

[Andrew]

Yeah, good point.

[Luke Burbank]

But it had to be done.

[Andrew]

Yeah. It was worth it. Anyway.

[Luke Burbank]

That sucks. So wait, so the whole thermostat.

[Andrew]

Yeah, Including a pot of coffee that was inside of it.

[Luke Burbank]

And your buddy didn't get his special?

[Andrew]

No, he didn't. And we ran out of coffee that day, but. So this one that I'm holding up to you, just to reiterate, is a replacement that just feels a little bit cheaper. I mean, I guess.

[Luke Burbank]

Looks old school.

[Andrew]

Production. Yes. The same style. The production just probably has changed and maybe it's more efficient, you know, like, why would I want a heavier thermos, you know? But there was something about the old one that felt like you drive a nail into a wall with it. You're kind of like, I don't know, this 20, 25 thermos, they don't make them like they used to.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, let me ask that isn't the kind that has a glass somehow?

[Andrew]

No, luckily it's not glass. It's stainless steel through and through.

[Luke Burbank]

Because my dad, I remember my dad had one that he would take to work every day and it had. Somehow it had glass in there. How do I know? Because I believe I broke that.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

At some point and I. Or I. He might have broken. I just remember there being a conversation around my dad's work thermos no longer being functional because the glass inside had shattered. And I remember thinking, that seems like a bad system.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Well, I do know that I think the glass ones, I could be wrong. I think at least maybe back in the day glass was the nice kind. Right. I don't know if maybe with modern day polymers and what have you, maybe that's more. But I would think that glass, it's a bummer breaking something that your parents cared about. Like there's two their hearts. Well, their hearts, expectations, certainly their hopes.

[Luke Burbank]

That you would not get someone pregnant at 17.

[Andrew]

I did a pretty good job with my folks of lowering the bar early on and then doing better in life than they ever expected. So that was pretty good.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, listen, I don't want to say. I don't want to speak out of turn or say something that sounds like I'm kind of negging you a little bit. But I. I could see a world in which there were a few things just in the way you've described your younger days. I could see there being a few moments where particularly Bob Walsh was wondering, we'll see how this turns out.

[Andrew]

Yeah, right. Why is he still hiding behind the.

[Luke Burbank]

Curtains like Bustling, kind of long hair and kind of like, you know, embracing a certain countercultural vibe.

[Andrew]

Oh, oh, that. Oh, later on. Yeah, I, Yeah, I don't mean as like a child.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, it's like a 20 year old finding your way kind of move.

[Andrew]

No, I meant as a child because. No, no, Luke. I was disappointing my parents long before that.

[Luke Burbank]

You troubling them at an early age?

[Andrew]

Good lord. No, I mean, I, you know, I think I was a well behaved enough kid. My parents were also very strict history. Yeah, they were very, very strict. Probably too strict and probably led to a lot of my anxiety, honestly. I love them, they were good parents, but let's face it, I'm a little high strung and I do think that had to do with a bit of a. Over how you get in nature. But. Yeah, crazy eyes. But I. In, in grade school, my sister got really good grades and then I. And like, she had set the bar pretty high for that kind of academic stuff. And she was really good in like music class and stuff. She played the licorice stick. Luke. And so then me, three years later, I'm entering school. They expect good grades and some sort of musical prowess. I had neither to offer. And so I'm like getting Cs. And my parents were treating Cs like they were Fs. I mean, getting a C, mean, I was getting grounded. And so, like, I just got really. I just didn't like school. And then they sent me to a really good but difficult high school where I graduated with like a 2.2 grade point average. And it was just like, wow, this guy is dumb as a bag of hammers. And. And then I went to college and I was like, oh, yeah, I got, I got mostly A's and stuff because I went to a school that wasn't quite as hard as my high school. All of that is to say, years of getting, like, very middling grades at best and like, often coming home with like, notes to sign because I didn't do my homework or this or that and then ended up, you know, graduating magna cum laude or whatever. I literally didn't know what that was when they told me, yeah, hall of.

[Luke Burbank]

Fame, Kent State Broadcast hall of Fame.

[Andrew]

Which as soon as they, as soon as they construct that thing, I will be a first ballot or ballot.

[Luke Burbank]

Yep.

[Andrew]

Anyway, so that's. That's my story about my thermos.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm very. I. I'm pretty lucky, I think, that my parents had absolutely no academic standards for us. And I mean, that's not true if I got in trouble at school. They didn't love it, but they were. I just, you know, I didn't come from a home where there was any like, expectation around, around studying. And that was kind of nice because.

[Andrew]

You'Re the oldest, right?

[Luke Burbank]

I am the oldest of seven, yes. And you know, my parents didn't go to college and you know, I, I think my parents have a certain kind of intelligence. Both of them have a high level of intelligence in sort of different ways. But like. But yeah, it just wasn't a thing where it was like, oh man, if I don't get a good grade in this class, I mean, again, failing, like, here's what they didn't want to have to do. They didn't want to have to go to the school and talk to anybody. As long as they were not being summoned to either Daniel Bagley Elementary School or Jesus Creek. As long as that was not happening, I was pretty much free ranging, you know, and I guess that was kind of nice because I didn't have any. I just didn't have any particular hang ups around that stuff because there was no pressure being put on me, thankfully.

[Andrew]

You know, I don't think we can go into detail here because I don't know your siblings. I wouldn't presume to do this exercise, but it's interesting to think of, especially with a family so big, you know, with so many like siblings, it's interesting to think about how much impact you had on the way your brothers and sisters were raised. In other words, like, be interesting to.

[Luke Burbank]

Ask David that question.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Because I don't know the difference enough of your various personalities. I know your brothers pretty well, don't know your sisters that well, but if you have a sibling with a pretty significant. Well, maybe you guys are all kind of similar in a way, but if you had a sibling with different leading characteristics and they were the first child, that could have affected everything else downstream. I think that if I were out of just two kids, siblings, I think if I were the firstborn, I. Life would have been different for my sister because the expectations might have been different. You know what I mean? Because I would have been the older one and I would have set the stage for just, just mediocrity.

[Luke Burbank]

And it is interesting to see, like, I don't, I don't believe that astrology has an impact on people's behaviors, but I do think birth order probably does.

[Andrew]

That's nurturing.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, it would make. Yeah, exactly. It would make sense that like, like, you know, where you were in the order of, of kids would kind of impact your experience and then how you tended to behave. And it is interesting to kind of watch. Like, I was without a doubt the most misbehaved kid in the family. Like, my siblings were all, generally speaking, much, much better kids than I. Than I was. You know, just in terms of like, not getting in huge role. My sisters were very like, incredibly kind of like, you know, I don't. Button down is the word, but like, they all had like a mode where like, their favorite thing in the world was to read the Little House in the Prairie books and learn how to bake cornbread. Like competitive cornbread baking in my house. Trad kids, they really were like, there was a heavy duty trad kid component going on for my sisters. And then, you know, one thing that is interesting too, and this will sound, I guess, I don't know if it's a humble brag or just a brag or an observation, but like, like considering that my parents didn't go to college and were never the kind of parents who were like, well, what schools are we visiting? Or when. When's the sat? Like, I've. I've told this story many times. I applied to one place, the University of Washington. Thankfully, it was so much easier to get into back then. Like, it. I mean, I would have never, ever, ever gotten into the current version of the University of Washington, but I. It was pretty easy in those days. And literally the day you were supposed to apply, it occurred to me I should probably apply. I filled out the paperwork, I drove it over to the admissions office and dropped it off.

[Andrew]

Really?

[Luke Burbank]

That was. And the funny thing is everyone in my family, all the kids in my family have graduated from college, except one of my sisters who did some college. But basically every. Every kid in the family got a bachelor's degree at a minimum. My sister, my other sisters, my sister Liz and Hannah have graduate degrees. So it's pretty, It's a pretty interesting thing considering my parents have never once asked, like, well, what are you thinking about for college? Like, I don't know how that occurred for all of us when, when it was. It was a. It was a point of non emphasis. It probably also impacts my theories on parenting, which I'm sure my theories on parenting are wrong because they're just based on how I was raised and I guess to the degree, you know, that my theories were played out in my life as a parent for my kid, which I was definitely more of a helicopter parent than my parents were. And I was very much like taking my kid around to colleges and stuff. But like, I don't know, generally there's something about the hands off approach that my parents took that I tend to think about fondly as a way to be as a parent. I think it just luckily mostly worked out in our family. I think it could also have totally not worked out. It could also just be like neglect. But in our case, it went okay.

[Andrew]

I think you'd all be better people if David was born first. Honestly. No.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, that would be a really, actually uncool thing. Cause like, it would be like, really? This guy's got like five jobs, beautiful family, the hardest working dude. Like, I made it my. I really made it my goal to take the heat off of my siblings.

[Andrew]

Have a heat shield. Do you think this was too fine a point on it? But do you wonder if you hadn't like, if you had just like graduated high school and then, I don't know, just kind of got a job somewhere, maybe moved to a different city to, you know, test life out or whatever? Maybe some of you did. You sort of set the standard of going to college, of make his. For me, I was more like you described. Like it was just expected, you know, Like, I went, well, I went literally to a college prep high school, as they called them at the time. I don't know if they still do, but like, you know, it was always expected my parents were going to send me to school. My sister had gone off to college for a little bit. And so it was not like, hey, what are you thinking about doing after high school?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, yeah, I. Again, I don't. I don't know if I would love to say that my siblings were like, looking up to me and being like, we want to be like Luke. I honestly don't know if that was really how it worked or not, but I'll take the credit.

[Andrew]

Sure. Yeah, you might as well. I mean, why.

[Luke Burbank]

I'll take all of their. I'll put all of their. That is true. And that hurts, actually. David will hear it and my sister Hannah might hear it if you write her into the description.

[Andrew]

Can I also just say you are doing a wonderful job producing Seattle's morning news on Cairo News Radio. Luke, I just think that, like, you have. You're just killing it.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm shadow. I'm shadow producing it.

[Andrew]

Just give you more credit for everything David has done. Is that okay?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. I'm also writing the headlines at the Seattle Times currently. Andrew and I pulled a real stinker today with national restaurant chain to leave downtown Seattle after more than 20 years. I think the reason these headlines bother me so much is because they work on me. Because I was like, I wonder what national restaurant chains, by the way. Cheesecake Factory.

[Andrew]

Yeah, I try not to. They're having the opposite effect. I am so mad at these click baity headlines from the Seattle Times, which are getting out of hand, that I actually find myself trying not to click on them because they make me so angry. I don't want it to work.

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't even think about this until I was in my kind of spiel at the top of the show. But there should be a system where if you're paying them the subscription fee, which I am, you should get to fast pass. You should get to see what the hep. Like the head. You should get a different set of headlines like that. You don't get. You don't need my money and my clicks. Your money or your clicks, as they famously used to say when they would be robbing stagecoaches. You know, like, I feel like I'm paying them 20amonth for this. I should get to see that as Cheesecake Factory. I should have to click through.

[Andrew]

Everybody should. If you have access to it, you should. This click through beta vacation. And it is something that is. I mean, I guess I re. Yeah, I guess I read the Seattle Times more than any other paper. So maybe I don't have all of the context to say this, but it seems like the Seattle Times is worse than anything else I read regarding this. So I want to go through some more of these. So another one that I saw morning was. Well, there was one, and I guess I just need to start documenting them. In fact, did I screen cap one the other day? Because there was an egregious one the other day that made. It was a serious story that made me so angry. One. Another one. Today's paper just two headlines down. Southwest Airlines ditches a beloved policy. Let's do some headline rewrites here. Because what I'm going to do.

[Luke Burbank]

Landing safely.

[Andrew]

We should. Yeah, right. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a different version of a joke I made to you during soundcheck. But I. I respect you enough, Andrew, to not literally deliver the same punchline.

[Andrew]

You're still trying, you know, same idea.

[Luke Burbank]

But I gave it a slightly different spin.

[Andrew]

Sure. So here we go. National restaurant chain to leave downtown Seattle after more than 20 years. That should be Cheesecake Factory to leave. You know, you could even just say, like, you wouldn't say iconic there, but like, you know, maybe. Maybe something in the headline that indicates the substance of it kind of holding down the corner of a downtown block, sort of. So, like, you know, I can understand, like, wanting, putting some emphasis on it, but it should be Cheesecake Factory to leave downtown. This should be. Southwest Airlines no longer has free Carry on bags or whatever. I think Free checked bags is the headline, not Carry On. Southwest Airline ditches free checked bags. That's what that should be. These other ones, let's go through some of these other ones and turn them into Seattle Times headlines. Musk calls Senator Mark Kelly traitor for his Ukraine visit. Let's Seattle Times that one up. They missed this one. It should be Musk calls Senator bad name.

[Luke Burbank]

That's pretty good. You could work there.

[Andrew]

Yeah, I'm looking at some of these other headlines, and I'm like, I don't want to read these headlines anymore. But anyway. But, you know, it's so insulting.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. And also, here's the thing. I would have clicked on the Cheesecake Factory story anyway. You know what I mean? Like, I like. Because I know I'm kind of speaking out of both sides of my mouth saying that it's working as a clickbait thing, which it is. But also, I'd be interested to see what's happening to that Cheesecake Factory. That's been there for a long time. It's been there for over 20 years. So it's like, I feel like it's also a little disrespectful. Like, you don't trust me, that if I get the information, I won't. You think that if I just get the. If I know it's Cheesecake Factory, I won't click on it. Yeah, but I will click on it. And the same thing with the Southwest, you know, baggage policy.

[Andrew]

I've.

[Luke Burbank]

I clicked on that story today in another paper.

[Andrew]

Thousands of highly trained Washington teachers could have their pay cut. You know, that's. That's good. That tells you what you need to know. Now let's read more details. Wow. You think the Seattle Times could be.

[Luke Burbank]

That's pretty much.

[Andrew]

Yeah. No, I'm not supporting. I realize what you did there, but, you know, like, turn that into. Thousands of highly trained Washington teachers could be facing an oopsie.

[Luke Burbank]

You won't believe what.

[Andrew]

Yeah, right.

[Luke Burbank]

You believe what thousands of Washington teachers could be facing.

[Andrew]

I'm telling you, man. And it's. It's getting worse. I'll start clipping them all if you want to have a regular.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, by the way, you listen, sorry, I don't mean to interrupt you, but like this, and this may have already Come up. It probably has, but this is. This is the rant.

[Andrew]

Yes, it is.

[Luke Burbank]

And does Seattle Times have the balls which were recently snapped but. But not busted?

[Andrew]

No.

[Luke Burbank]

Does the Seattle Times have the balls to print a rant about how their headlines are Clickbait? That's the ultimate question, I guess. Balls in your court, Joni Balter. I didn't actually realize that it's just the only person at Sale Times I can name that.

[Andrew]

Yes, it was no longer there, but still. I always love a good Joni Bolter reference. But I'm. Look, I'm sorry, I'm distracted. I'm scrolling through my phone because I was keeping track of these things. I'll put it down now. I'm just seeing, you know, photos of Dan Campbell when he was very young and hot. I have to save on my phone, like, wow, what a.

[Luke Burbank]

For the fantasy file.

[Andrew]

I guess. So I think I said, I mean, he was chain a while.

[Luke Burbank]

But you know what I really like, and I don't want to get in. I don't want to moralize or whatever, but I saw some picture, I think of Dan Campbell with a very, very attractive, kind of sort of almost like bikini model type. Like they were just both.

[Andrew]

The peak of the photo I have here. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And I believe that is his wife to this day.

[Andrew]

Yeah, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

He posted that or she posted it.

[Andrew]

On their anniversary recently. It was like 20 year anniversary or whatever. And it was a photo. Both of them looking just great, like, just sun drenched. He's got long, like kind of amber hair down to his shoulders. He's shirtless. They're on the beach somewhere. It's a hell of a photo.

[Luke Burbank]

Have you seen highlights of Dan Campbell making catches and being hyped afterwards when he was a tight end?

[Andrew]

No, you mean back when he was a player?

[Luke Burbank]

When he was a player.

[Andrew]

Oh, no.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, yeah. Like he just like he's had. He's had that kneecap, biting energy.

[Andrew]

Really. Oh. I did want to say this is a little bit of a little TB TL business here, but you were talking about rants and raves in the Seattle Times and how they won't have the, as you put it, cojones.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you.

[Andrew]

I believe you said that. And you said in this guttural way and you kind of cupped your hands in the way that I found this distracting and disturbing to, you know, publish this. You know, we have now published. We tbtl, the business boys have now published two successful columns of our own called Yays and Nays in the TBTL Friday newsletter. We're not doing it every single week, but we're doing it. I would love to do it at least once a month. Where listeners write in their yeas and nays. I don't caught any of this. I could try to.

[Luke Burbank]

I told you, I'm not. I don't subscribe to the newsletter.

[Andrew]

You are.

[Luke Burbank]

That's not true. I don't. Why don't I. Why am I not.

[Andrew]

I checked. You're in the system. You're just. It's probably going your spam. Let me see here. Can I share with you some of the yeas and nays this year or this week? I should say was mostly yays. How about this? Yay to the complete stranger who found my phone after it slipped out of my pocket at 1am on the new York City subway, took it home, charged it immediately, answered it when I called, and even offered it to bring it to me two miles away. Thanks for your kindness and providing that this big bad city is only big, not bad. That's perfectly written. Yay. Right there.

[Luke Burbank]

Who yayed that?

[Andrew]

I'm. You know, in the tradition of rants and raves. I'm not attaching names to these. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, I just learned a word yesterday. Pseudonymous.

[Andrew]

Oh.

[Luke Burbank]

Which is when you're using the pseudonym. Isn't that fun?

[Andrew]

So wait, let's use it in a sentence. Country of origin.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. So if. If you. If I was interviewing you about your government job.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And you were worried about the dojification of somebody coming for you, so we're not calling you Andrew. You wanted to be called Rick. I would say that you did that synonymously.

[Andrew]

I did that. Soon he. He commented synonymously under the name.

[Luke Burbank]

He's not anonymous, but he's psynonymous.

[Andrew]

Yes. Did you say Rick, by the way? Yeah, that's going to come up later in our conversation.

[Luke Burbank]

Is this a Rickon reference?

[Andrew]

Kind of. We need. Last night I was thinking we need more Rickon. There's no levity. We'll get.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I've got a theory. I've got a theory on that, by the way.

[Andrew]

All right, good. I'm glad you have talked to us.

[Luke Burbank]

I have little understanding.

[Andrew]

I want you to hear theories because. Yeah, we'll talk more about that later. Genevieve has a meeting. She has to hop on. But my plan is just to yell out the door at some point and see if we need her to explain to you.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm sure that we probably do one other. Well, let's see. You know what? Let's do this. Let's thank some donors. And then I want to warn everybody off of doing a viral TikTok recipe, and. Which I think there was zero danger of you doing. But. And then. And then maybe we'll talk severance. Then we will spoil some severance for folks we was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle. On your mark.

[Andrew]

On your mark.

[Luke Burbank]

Get set.

[Andrew]

Get set now. Ready? Ready.

[Luke Burbank]

Go, everybody. Razzle dazzle. All right, let's thank those dazzling donors who are donating a dazzling amount of dough. They're making TBTL possible five days a week. This 100% listener supported the Cheesecake Factory. Money is yet to roll in and doesn't seem like it'll start anytime soon, what with that major national restaurant closing down after more than 20 years.

[Andrew]

Which one is it?

[Luke Burbank]

I've absolutely no, no insight on that matter.

[Andrew]

Because science may never find out.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly.

[Andrew]

Hey, speaking of science. Well, never mind. I can't just say every thought that comes to my head. I'm trying to be better. Go ahead.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I mean, And. But if you tamp that down too much, we don't really have a show. Okay, I'm just gonna ask.

[Andrew]

I'm gonna ask a question of the listeners who are scientifically minded. It has nothing to do with what we're talking about other than science. I want somebody to answer me this question. Does a radio that operates on battery. Do the batteries drain more the louder you play the radio? So if I turn on this radio and it's powered on, but the volume is down to silent all day long, is that gonna drain the battery less than if I have that same radio on all day long, but it's at a loud volume?

[Luke Burbank]

That is a great question. I think that. I mean, it would. It stands to reason that louder is more of a draw on the battery, right?

[Andrew]

I think. I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

You're asking it to do it harder, as it were.

[Andrew]

Do it hard. That's what I say to it. Usually when I'm just like, I can't hear my bumping Stacy loud enough, I just yell at it. Okay, go ahead.

[Luke Burbank]

But seriously. But seriously, let's seriously thank Laura Gerkin, who's in St. Petersburg, Florida, is.

[Andrew]

Laura, are you a scientist who knows who studies batteries and radios? I don't know what you call that.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, ironically, St. Petersburg is a big hub for Scientology. Oh, I don't. I don't. I don't think that's something necessarily associated with our friend Laura Gerkin. But. But Tampa. Clearwater St. Pete. Big, big hub for that. But I don't. I feel like their grasp. I'm talking about the Scientologist. Now on science itself is a little fuzzy.

[Andrew]

Well, I thought you were gonna go with the space program. Where's Cape Canaveral?

[Luke Burbank]

That is in Florida also, but I couldn't tell you what coast. If it's on the east or west coast of Florida. It's possible my parents are there right now. Looks like just my parents are always in Florida now. It's wild. Like, I love it for them, you know, but again, you know, my parents, without putting their business on blast, they're not, you know, people of the most considerable means necessarily. Financially, I appear to be the main source of income for them, I. E. Home improving and yet. And this is because they're willing to fly outside of the plane on Southwest and make a, you know, four to five stops on their way to Florida. But like they are there, like they're in Florida constantly with their friends Cliff and Cindy.

[Andrew]

Well, it looks like Cape Canaveral is closer to Orlando. St. Petersburg.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. Laura is in St. Petersburg, Florida and says, well, I'm writing this in January of 2025 and it's hard to think of something pithy and positive to say this year in the wild times we are experiencing now and have gone through in the past. I'm so grateful for two beautiful Tobiz boys and the tens and friendos. TBTL has been in my ears for like 10 years now. Getting close to being my longest lasting relationship. You and me both, Laura. It ain't even close for me. This is my longest lasting professional and personal relationship.

[Andrew]

We're all in a tuple, the tens and us.

[Luke Burbank]

Love makes a family, Andrew.

[Andrew]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

I am so proud of you three for going independent and so happy you've been successful. Well, Laura, it's because of folks like you. So I, I think I said this a lot last year in the dazzling donor segment. It. It's so heartening that this worked. And it's also funny when the people who are the ones donating the money are saying, I'm really proud of you for this working. And I'm like, I'm really proud of you.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

For giving us money.

[Andrew]

Yeah. You're the one who's making it work.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. 100. I don't quite know how to explain the show or my little shine to it in my apartment made up of thawn gifts.

[Andrew]

Oh, that must be shrine. That must have been.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, shrine. That makes a lot more sense.

[Andrew]

I'll fix it in post.

[Luke Burbank]

I like the idea of Laura walking around with a little shine. I know I can't explain my shine to tbt. That also, by the way, is a thing that people wonder about. My little shrine to it in my apartment made up of thon gifts over the years. But y'all truly have helped ground me. Thanks for what you do. It's so important. Ah, Laura, thank you for what you do. It is also so important. We wouldn't be here without you, so. And appreciate it.

[Andrew]

Here's what I'm gonna do, because I know things are tough with the news, and we've heard from several tens who are filling this out, like, right in January.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

I'm gonna try to cheer Laura up a little bit by giving her some information about how she can get to Cape Canaveral. Now, if you want to walk now, you are almost directly as far west as you can be. They're almost directly on opposite sides of the state. But, you know, down. Down in the skinny part of the state, you know, because the pan handles the panhandles up north, right?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew]

Yes. Yeah. This would be like if the United States. Okay, let me put it this way, Laura. If the United States were a pan, the. You're on the part that we would grab Right. To flip the omelette, and you're all the way on the left of that handle. And you already know this, but Cape Canaveral is all the way on the right hand side of that handle. And so if you walk, it's going to take you 67 hours to do it, but it looks relatively safe. You're going to go through Saddle Creek park, which seems nice. And it looks like you're going to go kind of close to Orlando, but not quite through it. You could bike now. That's going to shave some of that time off. That's going to be 21 hours. That's less than a day.

[Luke Burbank]

By the way, my bike is showing up supposedly.

[Andrew]

Oh, my God. Today?

[Luke Burbank]

No, In a few days.

[Andrew]

I'm excited.

[Luke Burbank]

I am, too.

[Andrew]

Really excited about that.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, part of that. And I don't want to change the topic from Laura's travel plans about it.

[Andrew]

Apparently, the weird thing is you can't drive there. I'm not even joking. All right.

[Luke Burbank]

Huh. I. You know, I mentioned this kind of bike that I. That I'm gonna get, and then I immediately got a number of listeners saying, well, actually, one listener in particular said, I actually bought a bike from this company, and I had a terrible experience.

[Andrew]

Oh.

[Luke Burbank]

And it was, you know, I had already like paid for the thing, so it was kind of a little bit. I mean, I guess I could ask for a refund, but I'm gonna roll the dice. But. And then I had our friend Lee, who runs the Cascade Bicycle Club, had just sent me like a very, very detailed list of the different kinds of bikes one can get for the different purposes. I'm gonna try this one. It's a relatively affordable E bike or whatever. But I will say I put the money down a while ago. They said, you know, hey, we're, you know, it's, it's on pre order or something or whatever. Like, you know, and then I finally got kind of. I went back to double check, when is this thing supposed to show up? And it said like early March. We're now on March 11th. So like a day ago I sent, I don't want to say a terse email, but I think the subject line was where is my order question mark? And then the order number. Because we're, I feel like we're now, we've moved out of early March.

[Andrew]

We're now mid. We're literally mid March right now.

[Luke Burbank]

Definitely not. Well, I think March has more than 22 days. Right.

[Andrew]

I just think that once you get into the 11, it's.

[Luke Burbank]

I agree. No, you know what, I agree. It is certainly ain't early.

[Andrew]

No.

[Luke Burbank]

And so I kind of sent a little bit of a. It's so funny how like I sent this message into the void. But the fact that I just was like, where is my order? And then order number, question mark. I did sign it with a thank you. Yeah.

[Andrew]

And I said I ordered to be to the point and you're not like friends.

[Luke Burbank]

But I also, you know how it is. Like, I was a little miffed because I felt like they weren't communicating, which was also aligning with what the listener told me about the customer support. The listener's name is escaping me at the very moment. But she said that again, she had had a not great time with the customer service of this company. And this is the weirdest thing though. I probably sent that email at like maybe 8:00 at night or something. I wake up the next morning and I, well, first I get one of those auto responses that says like, we've gotten your, you know, we've received your message and we, we strive to respond in X number, whatever. And then the next morning it's like, congratulations, your order has arrived at our factory and it's going to be sent to you within one to three days Now Was that a coincidence or is it only because I sent them a terse email and they're like, oh, this guy's mad. We better send him his thing. Like, either it's just a. Even as a strange coincidence, or literally I had to email a guy named Christopher. That's who responded to me and be like, hey, dude, where my bike?

[Andrew]

Did you get a response? I'm sorry, aside from the other note that came, did you get a response to your email?

[Luke Burbank]

No, I got an. Well, kind of. I basically, I got one that was auto generated.

[Andrew]

Obviously.

[Luke Burbank]

It just said, we've received your message. And then I got one that said it was basically like, congratulations, your order is processing. But it kind of skipped. It elided the fact that I had sent an email being like, yo, where's my order?

[Andrew]

That wasn't a response email. That was just another auto generated email. So you didn't. That's why it's a response. I bet you just.

[Luke Burbank]

Coincidence.

[Andrew]

I think coincidence on this one. I think you may still even. Was it last night that you got the. Two nights ago. Kind of surprised nobody's responded to your original. Somebody should just be like, hey, this is in the works. But anyway, I am excited about this bike you got. I am excited. If I'm over there, I'm gonna give it a. I'm gonna give it a shot. I'm right.

[Luke Burbank]

I do have to put it together, which this is one of the things the listener was saying was kind of challenging. I believe she said her husband is really good at putting things together and found it challenging. But I did watch the video of someone putting this bike together and. And in the video it looked fairly straightforward. So anyway, it'll be yet another plot line for the show. Anyway, thank you so much, Laura, for the donation. We really appreciate it. Maestro, get set now.

[Andrew]

Ready?

[Luke Burbank]

Ready, go. Everybody ready? Oh, my goodness.

[Andrew]

Look who it is.

[Luke Burbank]

It's our friend Audrey Houseman out there in Akron, Ohio, on that teal house on the hill.

[Andrew]

It's right there in the name House. Yes, man.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, right. Audrey says I've been a dazzling donor for some time now. So it's only natural that my annual message is devolving into tradio adjacent.

[Andrew]

He put it in my veins.

[Luke Burbank]

Have we. There's no tradio on in Seattle these days, is there?

[Andrew]

Not that I know of. I could dig a little Burbank.

[Luke Burbank]

Get on it.

[Andrew]

I. You and I have toyed with the idea of doing a live tradio. There's no reason why we. We can't just Do a tradio episode of tbt. Other than it might be terrible, but never stop hear my thermos story. So I don't know, man. We're getting closer and closer to like maybe just pulling the trigger on. We gotta do a. We open up the lines and people. We give people some time to think about what they want to get rid of in their homes. And then we open up the phone lines. Maybe we stream it live.

[Luke Burbank]

That would be really fun. If we are successful, we'll know that we're having an impact on the culture when Richard and Sal from the Howard Stern show prank us.

[Andrew]

I don't know if I can handle that.

[Luke Burbank]

The highest honor that a tradio situation can can receive. Audrey says, my husband and I dabble in homesteading in an enviro friendly, frugal way, not a trad wife way. At our lake house in northeast Ohio this year, we saved way too many seeds. So I want to offer up some happy mail free of charge to the tens. So Audrey is offering to mail you seeds. I think the giving never ends with Audrey Houseman and her husband. Here are the seeds that we have to share. Okay. I'll leave it to Luke's discretion whether to read them. Rapid fire, like a drug add. You know, I might actually want a few of these. Andrew. I've been really thinking about trying to get my. I sort of attempted it last year and you know, with growing some vegetables and stuff, and I had a little bit of success. I also was gone a bunch and then the. The deer got in there and ate it. And then I thought about just turning it over to the deer. Like, I feel like, you know, they have a hard enough time finding tomacco on their own. I should give them some. But I'm really getting my thoughts going towards some. Some spring planting here. Anyway, these are the list of seeds that Audrey is willing to mail to you.

[Andrew]

Can I do this? I found something here called royalty free corporate background music for medical equipment presentation. I don't know if that's going to be for good. Drug adverse. That's the.

[Luke Burbank]

Bachelor buttons. Polka dot basil. Rutger's devotion. Beardtongue Pristine Lila Calendula Pacific mix. Chamomile Chives. Cosmos Pink shell Daisy. Shasta Echinacea Sweet Sandia Lettuce. Little gem Loofah. Luffa Mizuna. Benny Houshi. I used to go to school with him. Penstemon. Mystic. Wait, Mystic Pole beans.

[Andrew]

So you're doing this totally wrong. No offense. The music is awesome, but you notice the Each line is both a plant name followed by the varietal or color. So it's bachelor buttons, Polka Dot variety, Basil, Rutgers Devotion Variety. Dig what we're saying there.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I see. So I'm saying pristine Lila or Lila. But that's the variety.

[Andrew]

So you're making it sound like bachelor buttons and polka dot are two different things. But polka dot is describing the bachelor button. You want to start this over? Let's just start this totally over. Music is perfect.

[Luke Burbank]

The. Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah. Way to go, Andrew.

[Andrew]

Yeah, no, I'm winning. I just. And also, I just want to focus.

[Luke Burbank]

On your contribution and also, what's going.

[Andrew]

Well, if you're allergic to bachelor buttons, don't take bachelor buttons. All right, let's see here. We're gonna start this over. Here we go.

[Luke Burbank]

Bachelor buttons, Polka dot Varietal, Basil, Rutgers Devotion, Beardtongue, Pristine Lila, Calendula, Pacific Mix, Chamomile, Origins Unknown. Chives, Pseudonymous Cosmos, Pink Shell variety, Daisy Shasta, Echinacea, Sweet Sandia Style. Lettuce, Little Gem. You could open an entire restaurant if you just got your hands on enough. Little Gem lettuce.

[Andrew]

Oh, my God, it's all of this. I'm going to open a restaurant called Sweet Sandy.

[Luke Burbank]

Little Gem Lettuce is the main thing at every upscale restaurant that I go to.

[Andrew]

Oh, is that what you're saying? Oh, I thought you were just talking about the names.

[Luke Burbank]

But these also. This sounds delicious. Honestly. Luffa Mizuna of the Benihoshi variety.

[Andrew]

I went to school with that kid.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Penstemon. I'm assuming you cut out the whole first take. That I did.

[Andrew]

Badly.

[Luke Burbank]

So then stole my joke. That's dastardly. Penstemon. The mystic variety. Pole beans, Blue Cocoa, Rhubarb. Victoria. So I could have said Victoria, Rhubarb.

[Andrew]

Yeah, I suppose.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what I mean. I could have said Prudence, Purple Tomato, Elegant Zinnia. Go back. Polka dot, Bachelor buttons, Rutgers Devotion Basil.

[Andrew]

You keep going. I'm going to talk over you. You keep. So you're going to drive from the western side of Florida, Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

To claim some of these seeds. Shoot Audrey a DM on ig. By the way, Audrey is a great. Audrey and her husband are. They're a great follow on ig. I follow them and love to see what they get up to out there on the Teal House on the Hill. It's at Teal House on the Hill. And then Audrey says, sincere thanks to Luke and Andrew for keeping us sane during gestures. Broadly. Whatever this dumpster fire is what you do is so important, especially now. Well, I will say to you, Audrey, and your husband, what I just said to Laura, which is what you are doing is so important. I know that, you know, I know that times are hard out there and both mentally and in some cases, financially. And the fact that we've got people supporting us, sending us their hard earned money so we can do this means a lot. That is also so important. So thank you.

[Andrew]

Follow Teal House on the Hill. It's a great follow. And reading this makes me miss being on Instagram because that was a way of staying in touch with Ryan and Audrey. So I'll just read you each day.

[Luke Burbank]

Before we start recording. I'll read you whatever happened. I'll read you a transcript of whatever's going on on their ig.

[Andrew]

That sounds good. That could be its own podcast.

[Luke Burbank]

I'll do it wrong the first two times and then we'll fix it in post. All right, thanks, y'all.

[Andrew]

Hello and welcome to Top Story.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, briefly, I been watching this thing on TikTok about making basically, like, what are called healthy onion rings. You know, I've been on this. I've been on a cooking kick. I don't even know if you'd call it cooking. I've been on trying to make more food at home kick and trying to make things out of, like, pretty basic ingredients. Trying to keep the processed stuff to a min.

[Andrew]

Sounds good.

[Luke Burbank]

Table min. And healthy onion ring. It seemed like something I would like what. What it appears to be or what it is actually is. You basically put down a bunch of, like, Parmesan Reggiano, like either shredded Parmesan or you shred it yourself. You put that down on, like, a parchment paper on a baking sheet, and then you, like, mandolin an onion. And then you put down those, you know, kind of onion medallions or those sliced onions.

[Andrew]

Then you get a bunch of bandages, you patch yourself back. Let me tell you, I've never used nobody who is more scared of it.

[Luke Burbank]

There is. There is not a product that is more worried about you using their product than the people that make mandolins.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

The box is all warnings in Japanese about be so careful. In fact, don't use this. In fact, we would rather you didn't use this.

[Andrew]

My dad cut himself open on one. No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. In a mall where they were showing them.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, like a key.

[Andrew]

He was. And I don't remember the details of this, but they were like he was looking at it at a store in a mall.

[Luke Burbank]

I Want to say that's a lawsuit get.

[Andrew]

No, that's not. That's not Bob. He. They. They were like very, very careful. Scott.

[Luke Burbank]

Hoy matter.

[Andrew]

I want to know.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't what happened at that being genius. Did they have being geniuses at the mall?

[Andrew]

No, no, I've never heard of that like gadget store. Anyway, I think what he did was they felt they warned him a bunch. You know, be very careful. He did something and of course he was a little embarra. He did not make a big deal of it. My dad is not somebody who would make a big deal of something like that. I think they got him a band aid maybe and he went. He then he went off shopping somewhere else and then he came back and he bought it. I think he was like, well, it is really good. And I think that's how the story goes is a few years back it's.

[Luke Burbank]

Giving me a maybe just because I was holding. I was using a mandolin very gingerly yesterday. But it is funny how many there's just. And I bought it's like from a Japanese company and so it's like. Like it's all in Japanese. But I can tell they're like very. Be careful. Yeah, right. But anyway, so you. You put this stuff down and then you. The onions down and then you put some like paprika maybe or what did I put on the yellow paprika, little garlic powder, a little salt and pepper. And then you cook it and then you kind of flip it over and you cut it up into chunks. And when I saw people eating this on Tick tock it looked so crispy and delicious. I saw one woman who said this is. This is not as good as they're making it look. And I should have believed her because it was not as good as I thought it was going to be. It was it based. I mean I cooked this.

[Andrew]

It was well cooked.

[Luke Burbank]

It was almost overly cooked because I really wanted the cheese to be crispy. But somehow the onions never got. The onions were still kind of undercooked a little bit. So it just did not resemble like I thought it was gonna be like eating an onion ring in some way. It didn't.

[Andrew]

The cheese was the cheese. So I can only just picture like regular. I can only picture regular onion rings. It's a condition that I have. Yeah, I'm just pict regular onion rings which I'd actually like. Conversation regular varietal. I'd like to have a conversation with you about like your preferred onion rings if you were like going to get them yeah, sure. But in this case, it sounds like you don't have any kind of breading or panko or whatever you would call that stuff. It's just the cheese. But does the. Is. Is it a lighter touch, too? Does the cheese almost recreate a breading, or is it just more like you really are eating, like, the exposed onion with the flavor?

[Luke Burbank]

It's more like the onion is trapped in the cheese. Like, the cheese was a lava flow and it caught the. A citizen of Pompeii, like. But it's not. It's not yet. It doesn't. It doesn't. It's being described as onion rings, but it does. To bite into it. You wouldn't think, oh, I'm eating an onion ring.

[Andrew]

And are you eating with your fingers? Or you, like, is it too messy? You're cutting it with a fork?

[Luke Burbank]

No, you're eating it with your fingers.

[Andrew]

Because the cheese.

[Luke Burbank]

Then you let the cheese kind of, like, can, like, you know, cool down to where it's a.

[Andrew]

A.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a solid.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Piece of cheese with just, like, a. A not quite cooked enough onion trapped in it. I enjoyed the cheese, you know, melted. I know you're kind of hitting cheese, but, like, you know, melted cheese is something. And I had. I would give it this much. It had a lot of edge to it. You know, I've talked about, like, the. The crispy edge of the melted cheese is really where it's at. And that was kind of yummy. But, like, I was very underwhelmed by the whole experience. Also, I had rocking onion breath.

[Andrew]

Thankfully, it was just me.

[Luke Burbank]

There was. It was just me and severance. So. And my text to you. So there was no one to suffer from this. But I would say in a. Like, a household where you lived with other people, particularly romantically, I really would want to, like, you'd want to check in. You'd both want to have some. So you have. What I always say to Beck is mutually assured destruction. Like, if I'm about to eat something at dinner and I know it's going to really rock my breath, I'm like, you are required. We're both going down with this shit.

[Andrew]

Okay. I was picturing this a little differently, so I think I found it. So it ends. So you're cutting them so thin that they almost cover the bottom of the pan. Like, the whole thing almost becomes one thing that you can then cut up and eat with your hands. Okay, gotcha. Okay. I think I was still. Even though you said that I was picturing a Thicker, more like cut like a. Like a. More of a rustic cut, like an onion ring. But I see this now.

[Luke Burbank]

I was surprised, though, because I do love white onion, and I put it in a lot of stuff, and I love melted cheese. I don't understand how it did not. I mean, in the sum of its parts, it was somehow less than the sum of its parts for me. So I don't know why I felt the need to talk about that other than to say, if you were like me, have been getting assaulted on TikTok with images of people cooking up, you know, melting onion rings and. Or rather, melting sliced onion into cheese, just, you know, beware. It may not be as good as they're making it look. And then also, like, what I. Here's what I really realized about the way TikTok works, which is there's that one. There was that one voice in the wilderness, like John the Baptist, Andrew, who was like, this is not very good. And I realized there was fewer clicks on her, like, basically coming onto TikTok to say, you know, this thing you've been seeing, it ain't great. That does not get the clicks that you get if you're like, viral onion ring hack.

[Andrew]

Did this change my life?

[Luke Burbank]

It's like. Exactly. It's like the SEO of it, or the. Whatever you want to call it, the algorithmic nature of it. It rewards making stuff seem better than it is because that's what gets the clicks and that's what starts getting passed around. Yeah. And, like, what I felt like is this thing is like, it's a 4 out of 10, but everyone's incentivized to present it as a 10 out of.

[Andrew]

10, which is interesting. It's almost like a better version of place in general. Yeah. Where everything. Negativity kind of. And so. And that does sort of seem to be. And I realize I say this very much as a TikTok outsider, but it sort of seems to be like, that was one of the things that Tick Tock stood apart with, was this idea that it's actually a more joyful place than a place. Not. Not that people aren't, like, ragging on their haters or whatever. I know there's plenty of that, but generally speaking, it seemed like Tick Tock was always a place more to share joy and dances and stuff like that than to necessarily, like, you know, get into Internet fights and be toxic.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it remains. I think it remains that, at least for me, maybe, because I just don't. I would never let a video that was like, Somebody clapping back at their haters, their perceived haters. I just, I have no interest in that. And so it, I think it's de emphasized on my for you page. Mostly I just like seeing, you know, total Karen escalates things when caught shoplifting. That seems to be.

[Andrew]

Yeah, right.

[Luke Burbank]

There's a lot of people getting in trouble for shoplifting. Uplifting.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Like it's really made me reconsider my typing in organic produce as non organic at the Safeway. Like, I'm like, oh, they're watching me, aren't they?

[Andrew]

Oh, man. Oh, wait, hold on. I'll tell you a grocery store story in a second here, but two things regarding these onions. First of all, one person in the comments said, this looks good on a burger. Now I know you don't eat meat, but I could see you like if you were making one of your vegetarian patties or something.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Instead of eating this on its own. And again, I wouldn't do this. I don't like parmesan cheese, but I could totally see you taking one of these, popping on the burger. That would add a lot of flavor. Especially if you're eating a patty that maybe is like, yeah, that could be yummy. Secondly, I can use this as a show pick. I don't know if you took any photos of your food last night. Why don't you send them my way? Here's my grocery store story. I'll tell it really quickly. I was telling you off air yesterday, which is real a bummer that I would waste this content. But how I used to be very loyal to one grocery store and that grocery store would change as I move neighborhoods. But I like to get to know one grocery store and then would arrange my shopping list based on that. But now I'm like pretty poly when it comes to grocery stores. I'm realizing different grocery stores serve different needs in my life. And so like I'm just out there.

[Luke Burbank]

We were not designed, Andrew, to have one relationship with a grocery store.

[Andrew]

That's what I'm always saying. So anyway, I was at my old favorite grocery store in my old Roosevelt neighborhood, which is just like you're down the middle, like kind of Safeway kind of place. And they've had more and more like anti theft measures lately. You know, like they have kind of like a gate that you go through now and they have people, a guy.

[Luke Burbank]

Roaming the store with a mandolin swinging.

[Andrew]

Is that what. That's what happened to my dad. He got caught shoplifting. He didn't say that he was trying to steal the Mandolin. Anyway, I kind of regret bringing the story up. It's not that great. But anyway, they now have these people who check your receipt as you go out. Which, by the way, I have no issue with at all. Like, if I had a bunch of stuff, I wouldn't want people stealing it either. Like, I had an issue at my local grocery store where they wouldn't let me carry a backpack in because that seems like a necessary but like having anti theft measures, having a friendly person there. And he is very friendly, kind of checking the receipts and saying, have a nice day as you head out. Like, I have no issue with that. But the other day, I was just on Sunday, I was leaving and I'm pushing my cart and I'm like, hey, how are you doing? He says to me, hey, how are you doing? I'm like, good, how are you? And he's like, great, I really appreciate you asking. And he's like looking at my. He's looking at my receipt and then he hands it back to me. He's like, yeah, go ahead. And then I'm about to leave and he's like, where are your groceries? And I look in my cart, I only have a 12 pack of Fresca in there. He's like, you got like six things. Where are all your groceries? I'm like, oh, shit. I left them in a bag. I left my grocery bag back on the self checkout thing. I turn around and get my groceries shoplifted. Exactly. I went to get it. I come back and he's like, there it is. I'm like, this. And we both said at the same time, like, this is the opposite of your job. Like, I was leaving the store with less groceries than I'm supposed to have. You're there to do the opposite. But you actually were helping me out.

[Luke Burbank]

So that's when Becca and I were leaving Costco, I believe she said, because that's like famously a place. It was maybe the first place. I know it's a Walmart thing too, but that might have been the first place I'd been to where they do that. They check your receipt. And Becca told me that she had been told by somebody that the Costco thing is actually not. This kind of sounds like BS to me, honestly. But it's that it's not to check for shoplifting. It's to make sure that you didn't get overcharged or that like almost basically, like, what happened to you? Like, it's to make sure that, that. That you've got all the stuff you paid for. Or something. I was like, I don't. That does not, that does not pass the sniff test.

[Andrew]

You know, companies like the major corporation that is trying to cut corners like crazy. The, the people who own this chain of grocery stores are not interested in making sure you're getting your money is worth trusting.

[Luke Burbank]

I couldn't follow the line of the logic. Maybe a listener has a theory on this, but it's, it's, it definitely seems like something that big, Costco. It's probably something that Costco Connections is trying to push.

[Andrew]

I mean, it is true that Costco does operate different than other stores. I did sort of forget that you were talking specifically Costco here. Not, not like the people who own Safeway. Although I'd be interested if rolled. Our listener rolled. Who's our grocery store correspondent has any insight? Because for me, when I see these folks checking my receipt, I'm like, what are you really looking for? You're not going through my bag, right? And for me, I think it's just like more like their presence. There is more of like an intimidation factor for people who are going to be coming in and maybe hoping, you know, to shoplift. They might see that and be like, well, well, maybe not today because I got to get through this extra. It's just probably just more like just another line of security sort of.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it's sort of like the. I remember talking to DFTB when he worked at like TJ Maxx and I believe that their official security protocol was can I, can I help you with that?

[Andrew]

Yeah. And then curl up in a ball.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But basically, like, it's just you even pointed out, I think you pointed this out, which is the idea of greeting people when they come into the store sometimes. Like if it's a retail location grocery store. Yeah, but I always just thought that was just like good customer service. But there's maybe also a theory of that which is it's just letting people know that, you know, they're there. So then again, yeah, I see you. Basically, I always assumed it was just like friendliness and like you were trained to like welcome people. But it is like, yeah, you're on our radar. I guess you're not operating anonymously. The thing I've Learned from these TikTok shoplifting videos is, golly, do they have a lot of cameras in those stores? And, and like there's these are these whole like nerve centers where all of these loss prevention people, like you take a typical Walmart or probably a Target or whatever. And like there's a room that's got like 15 monitors in it, if not more. Like every square inch of those stores are surveilled by cameras and they've got facial ID recognition and like in certain cases it appears that like they'll sort of allow someone to steal up to a certain amount over time, but they're documenting it. And then when you get to the point where it's felonious, Felonious Monk, they'll drop the hammer on you like so that they can, you know, I guess punish you like, like they, they'll have dossiers on people and stuff and. But the weird part is they're like letting it happen sometimes for a variety of reasons. I mean it is letting the rope.

[Andrew]

Out, letting the leash.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, kind of. And look, these stores have the right to not be stolen from. In my opin. I don't want to call it sinister, but it is robust. It is like I wasn't a big shoplifter before but I like by sort of proxy, by observing this, I'm like, I am not messing with that. Like, you know, I am not like if I've got something in the bottom of the cart and they don't notice it, I'm self reporting. I don't want any part of the loss prevention people coming after me.

[Andrew]

Well, I do think now, I mean, listen, I don't want to make it sound like I'm a vandal because I'm not a vandal. I would like to repeat, I'm going to look directly in the camera. I am not a vandal. I don't know if it's video games.

[Luke Burbank]

Or what, but anyway, I'm tired of consoling you, but I won't stop.

[Andrew]

But I think you're like me where maybe sometimes you have evil fantasies. You see a car that is like parked jerkily and you're like oh man, that would be nice to throw an egg on that windshield or whatever. If eggs weren't $10 an egg. Who can afford to egg this house? Were just saying on the show the other day, were you quoting somebody or observing it yourself? That like the two things that vandals used to use, like that wasn't paper and I'm quoting somebody who raised that the other day, but sometimes I'll think like, oh yeah, boy, look at this, look at this real brother in the Lord here. It'd be nice to do something in that car. I never would, but I now have the thought, oh yeah, I mean you couldn't anyway because there's literally no chance I'm not going to be caught on camera in any moment in public. You had mentioned a politician. You and I were chatting off air the other day. You sort of mentioned a politician. That I got into some trouble. She, amongst other things, she had sort of bumped into a car in a parking lot, maybe caused some damage, and then left without, like, reporting it. But it was a Tesla or something which has cameras all the way around it. So now every time I'm in a parking lot, like, that lived in my head because I was, like, just in a parking lot this. This weekend for the volunteer thing. And, like, I saw a Tesla and I'm like, oh, that's funny. Like, that Tesla. Could they just, like, watch our entire operation the entire hour we were out here? Because there are just cameras everywhere.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. There was a person who watched their house in the Palisades burn down from their Tesla, which was at the house. They were somewhere else. Isn't that insane?

[Andrew]

Yes, it is. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. How about this for Alzheimer's? When it comes to a parking job, Becca was over at the. The Nike campus in Beaverton and snapped a photo of. Wait for it. A cyber truck jauntily parked in a disabled parking spot that it did not have the proper placards for, with a custom Oregon Ducks logo license plate that said Beast Mode. How about that for an all timer cyber truck? No proper placards. Again, overlapping. So it was like, in two parking spots, one of them being set aside for folks with disabilities. And then Beast Mode license plate.

[Andrew]

Oh, okay. So the Beast Mode license plate, it.

[Luke Burbank]

Was like B, S, T. Okay, okay.

[Andrew]

I got confused for a second. I thought that somehow that was connected to the Oregon Ducks bumper sticker in my car.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, it had an or. It was like, you know, you can pay extra. So it's like. It's like this is probably what triggered me the most. But it was like a. You know, so it's like a. Like an Oregon Ducks license plate. You paid some extra money to have, like, that on your license plate, but then the actual, like, letters are Beast Mode.

[Andrew]

Yeah, right. And then it had like, I've outed this person. It had kind of a bumper sticker of Deshawn Watson peeing on the Constitution.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my goodness. Which brings us to severance.

[Andrew]

Yes, it does. Perfect.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, so just the only way to talk about this and is with spoilers. So if you are somebody who's, you know, not caught up on severance, you don't want any spoilers. Just, this is a huge warning that I want to talk a Little about severance. Did you want to try to holler at Veeves?

[Andrew]

Yeah, I could see here, hold on. Let's just do this here. She was in a meeting about 45 minutes ago, so it could be over now.

[Luke Burbank]

She was in a room where it's always Christmas time.

[Andrew]

That's right. Can I just start this by saying I saw a photo today on the, on the Severance subreddit.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Andrew]

And it just said I missed this. And it was just a photo of the four main characters sitting in their cubicle with. Mild. With, With. Yeah. Milchek talking to them. And somebody just said, I missed this. And I was like, yeah. That kind of sums up. That kind of sums up, I think, where you and I are with the show. Although I like the last episode, but. Hey, Veeves, can you hear me? And if so, do you want to come in here? We'll find out if she heard that or not in a moment.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a really good point, is that it's sort of become. A lot of the episodes seem to be sort of a certain person's quest. I mean, the most recent one. What's her name again? What's Patricia Arquette's name? In the, in the show? It's Cole something.

[Andrew]

I'm confused or I can't think of it right now, because she had two names for the longest time.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, right, right, right. Because she was a lactation coach. Yes, she was, she was, she was masquerading as a lactation expert or something.

[Andrew]

So Harmony, though, Cabel Harmony, that's her real name.

[Luke Burbank]

So it was a real, you know, it was a real Cobel focused episode. The most recent one, she basically goes out to her hometown where, where she was, you know, raised, which is a very, very. It hasn't been the same since they shut down the ether factory.

[Andrew]

Yeah, I think they said the ether Mill. I thought that was like, the one.

[Luke Burbank]

Moment actually, kind of like. Yeah, yeah, I, I, I, I did think that was pretty fun. Like, you just really like. This is a Bruce Springsteen song on some kind of. This is a Bruce Springsteen song on Ether. What's it called? Salt Neck or something?

[Andrew]

It is Salt Neck, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

The town Salt Neck or whatever. So, yeah, it was very, it was very Patricia Arquette's character focused. And I guess what we learned is that she invented. Invented severing, right?

[Andrew]

Yeah, that's kind of. Well, we learned. We learned kind of a lot, I think. Or at least we learned we have a deeper understanding of the connection, I think, between this religion and the company, which is Sort of. Which is sort of interesting, although it is. It does continue to get. It does continue to raise more questions. But it does sort of seem like this is like some sort of a company town that is being.

[Luke Burbank]

But then they kind of moved on. Right. It's kind of like the Lumen started there.

[Andrew]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

You've got these old dilapidated buildings. You can still see Lumen on there.

[Andrew]

For me to say if it started there or not, I don't know. It could have started there, or there could be a lot of these towns, like, where they're kind of like, they're keeping the population a bit under their thumb by keeping them addicted to this unusual drug. For a town. For an entire town to be addicted to is very, very, very, very bleak. But then you sort of see how, like. Oh, yeah, they're indoctrinating children into, like, the Church of Kir.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, she was also. I don't know if you caught this, but Cobell was a. Like a. What's it called? A Winter Born Fellow.

[Andrew]

I don't know if I caught that.

[Luke Burbank]

So she had. She was an intern. I think it's maybe listed in her, like, yearbook or something. And she's. She has, like, this winter something fellowship, which Ms. Huang is up for.

[Andrew]

Oh, that's. See. Oh, that's pretty great. I didn't catch that. I remember Genevieve. I. I couldn't pause the TV because we're bootlegging this. So, like. So in Genevieve, we twice tried to.

[Luke Burbank]

See if you could use my account.

[Andrew]

We twice tried to. To, like, kind of pause on that, but then it just didn't become worth it. But, yeah, because you saw her picture, and there was something written under her name. I didn't get that. I don't know that I would have made the connection to that being this. I. Speaking of missing people, I miss Ms. Wong so much. That is such a great character.

[Luke Burbank]

I read an interview with her.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

The actor who plays her, she goes to school. I think she goes to Northwestern. She's in college.

[Andrew]

Really? Yeah. She plays. She plays a character who's like, what, 12, 13, 14.

[Luke Burbank]

She's studying philosophy and theater at Northwestern, I think.

[Andrew]

Amazing performance.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. So, yeah. So basically, I guess the big takeaway. Yeah, like I said, was that that Cobell had. Was actually is kind of potentially mad at the Egans for, like, stealing her idea and then kind of, you know, pushing her out, basically. Right. So then the question is, as she's heading back, was it that she found out that Mark is reintegrated? Was that the thing she was freaking out about at the end of the episode.

[Andrew]

You know, you mentioned her last thing, and I can't rem. Well, she needs to get back out of town. She's got the documentation. So here's what I think is happening. But. And Genevieve, you can't hear me, right? I think she might be actually doing work, which is.

[Luke Burbank]

She's very, very busy.

[Andrew]

She's with the goat. I do hear some braying out there.

[Luke Burbank]

Brienne of Tarth, are you there?

[Andrew]

So here's how. I. I don't know if you mentioned also that, you know, she has this interaction in her old childhood home where she, it sounds like, didn't spend a lot of time because she was probably shipped off to the school. She's huffing aether. That's the only other funny line. She's huffing aether and says, I haven't done this since I was eight.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, right.

[Andrew]

It's such a bleak episode. It's so bleak. But I. I don't want to ever try to convince somebody to like something that they don't like. So if you're kind of, like, not into this episode, like, that's fine. I didn't like the episode prior that everybody loved, and then I heard people didn't like this one, and I liked it. Maybe it has to do with the expectations people set for me. I think I'm just.

[Luke Burbank]

Did it have to do with just seeing someone absolutely tearing around in a Volkswagen Rabbit?

[Andrew]

Oh, that is so cool. I love her car. I love, loved. I just loved the color palette on this one. And I think the thing is, I'm just a minimalist. Like, I loved how minimal it was. Like, to me, the worst episode of the season was when they were out at some sort of outdoor retreat, and it was like, things weren't Mingu. That's right. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Ortbo or something.

[Andrew]

Is that what it was called?

[Luke Burbank]

I read something in New York magazine where a guy said, yeah, I think it's called Ortbo. He said, ortbo sounds like something Rickon would name his dog.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Yes, it does. And so I.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a Brian Grubber reference. Let's. Let's. Let's credit Brian Grub on that.

[Andrew]

I loved. I just loved how minimal this was. And that's things. I, again, I like a really slow pace of a show, and I love that this one was very slow and very still and very minimal. And I loved. I told you this in a text message. Like, just from a visual standpoint, I sort of felt like all of Salt snack is basically the color of her hair. Did you notice everybody in the diner has her hair color? Basically. Not her friend. He has actually darker, but his beard is gray. Like, everything is salt and pepper gray. And I just loved it so, so much. Whether or not you're along for the plot of this one, I understand it's a little confusing. They introduce a new character, a couple of new characters, one of whom seems to be somebody who she knew from her youth when Cobell was in whatever this Kier training center was or whatever you want to call it. They kind of reveal that very slowly. At first, I thought it was her brother. And then we meet a woman who could potentially be her mom's sister, her aunt living in her old home, but somebody who is even more of a devotee. What's the word I'm looking for? Somebody who's even more devoted to the religion aspect of kir. And we start to see that Cobell has some regrets about how she was treated, how her ideas were apparently stolen, how she wasn't able to be there when her mother died. She clearly is carrying around an immense amount of pain, finally seeing why she's been carry. That breathing tube was a dark reveal. She wanted to kind of breathe from her mom's air tank and share the air that she didn't get to share with her mom. I thought that was actually really moving and again, really dark. And it's a little bit unclear who this kind of really crazy devotee is, that they are clearly at loggerheads. But it's interesting to think that Cobell has been the biggest believer we've seen so far. Tell me if I'm wrong about that. Even Milchek has some moments of like, why are you painting me into these Kir paintings? Even he has a moment of doub here and there. She has always been the strongest, truest believer, even when we see her, like, disrespected and fired or whatever. And now here we see she's starting to feel like the company is pushing her away and the organization is pushing her away, and she has evidence that could really shake up the entire ground of everything they believe in about the maker of this technology that a religion has been built around. And it turns out the whole thing is based on a lie, which to me, is why this older woman is freaking out and wants to, like, kind of burn the evidence, which doesn't.

[Luke Burbank]

Right. She tries to throw it in the fire or whatever.

[Andrew]

So I don't remember you mentioned to me in a text message the very last scene and the last line is.

[Luke Burbank]

In her car screaming, tell me everything.

[Andrew]

Why don't I. That's funny that I don't remember the tell me everything because I honestly, I brought my laptop in here because I wanted to rewatch it and I forgot, but I actually don't remember. What does tell me everything mean? That I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

That's what I was wondering. I wonder. Wondered if. If she had heard about the. Oh, is it because.

[Andrew]

Does. Is it.

[Luke Burbank]

Does it. Is it that Mark's sister gets in touch with her because remember.

[Andrew]

Oh, yes, yes, yes. Tell me. That's who she's talking to. She's probably saying to Devin, tell me everything. What has been. That's right, yeah. What's going on with Mark? She goes. Devin tells her that Mark has been. What's the word for severed? Reintegrated. Yeah, that's what that is.

[Luke Burbank]

So that. So that worked because I lost. I lost a little bit of the thread on that too. So at this point, being reintegrated from Mark, being unsevered means he theoretically can go down to the severed floor. But he is gonna. He'll be his Audi down there. Right.

[Andrew]

Say that again, sorry.

[Luke Burbank]

Is that. What is that. What. What's the name of the. Of the possibly disgraced scientist anyway?

[Andrew]

The.

[Luke Burbank]

The person who has done the woman who did the, you know, the, the brain surgery on him. The idea of that will survive surgery is to set him up so that he basically is unsevered or. Yeah, he's unsevered now. So he could go down and the severance process will not work on him. So he is essentially permanently his Audi.

[Andrew]

Right. I think he'd be permanently both. I think it brings together all of his memories. I think that's what they were trying to show us in the last episode.

[Luke Burbank]

That's why he kept, like, shifting.

[Andrew]

I would, I would, yeah. And I would assume that it would be the personality of his Audi mostly, but suddenly his Audi was. Would have access to his. In his memories. And then also, like you say, could go down and like. I'm guessing that the point is, like, yeah, he could come up and down and. And be a. Be a whole person with all of the memories and sort of break that. Break the cage, I guess.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, I guess I'll just say what I've kind of been saying this whole season, which is they're. They're still. They're setting up. They're just. They just keep kind of like. I feel like unspooling new things. And I really, really hope that they have a plan for tying this all up to some degree at the end. It's just because it's like they keep introducing new characters and new plot lines and new things and it's just like it's. Again, that's the easy part. The hard part is bring. Is landing this airplane. I don't know. I have kind of a bad feeling. It feels to me like it's getting. At some point they decided that this is just going to be like an artsy, weird show that that, like, doesn't have. Maybe just because I'm confused by the plot oftentimes, but I don't know. Do you think that they're going to actually bring it all together? And how many more episodes are there?

[Andrew]

I don't think there's more. Many more in this season. I think we looked this up earlier. I think there's only two more. So I don't think we're going to be satisfied with a lot of answers. But I also assume there will be another season. But here. That's the one thing I want to talk to you about. I don't know if that was the part of the. Did you. My stomach just made a noise there when I took a breath in. Did you hear that? Do I need to clean that out? Okay, good. I will not mark it in the tape. Then you can rewind, turn up the volume and hear. If you can hear my stomach make a noise as I breathe, I think that's normal. You had said in a text message, and I hope it's okay as a private text message to say it publicly, but you had said that, like, Musk is right about some things regarding the cutbacks. No, you had sent me a text message like you said, the text message that said it's just kind of David Lynching bs. I would. I would say because I just rewatched the Twin Peaks movie recently and I hadn't been in that world in a long time. I used to be a real big, like, kind of lynch head. And I wouldn't claim to be anymore. It's been a long time. But I feel like there's a huge difference. Like, I. That is, he. He makes surreal films and surreal scenes that do not, like, make sense on.

[Luke Burbank]

Any kind of a logical level or are trying to.

[Andrew]

Or are trying to. And maybe you would say, you know, people who are more up on him and love his work would say, well, there's a lot of symbolism here and there's that. But I still think it's in the tradition of, you know, a dreamlike experience where people are back masked and talking backwards and zigzag floors and. And just surreal. Whereas this doesn't seem, with two exceptions, this does not feel surreal to me. It seems. It seems mysterious. It seems sci fi. I would say the waffle. If they never explained the waffle party, I would say that seems like just.

[Luke Burbank]

Dreamy, trippy going into that like, like that Egan Victorian house and the like.

[Andrew]

The sexy dancers with scary masks dancing around like that. I understand that it's maybe pointing towards the fact that this is also a religion and not just a company, but that just seemed, that seemed gratuitous to me unless anybody explains it. And the other thing, and I think they'll make an attempt to explain this in some way, would be the goats. So far, like so far that with the exception of, I guess the last scene with the goats, it sort of advances the plot. But like, those are my only two parts that I'm kind of like, well, you guys better make that pay off and not just have it be some sort of lynching and weird thing. But aside from that, the rest of this, even if I don't understand everything, which I clearly don't, and I'm clearly not catching everything, I don't feel like it's just surreal for surreal's sake. I think they are leaving clues and telling a story.

[Luke Burbank]

I think you're right. I think what happens is I'm easily confused. Confused. And when I become confused, then it just starts to feel like a bunch of kind of nonsense to me. But that's just because I'm not following the plot. So then it's just like, why is that happening? It's a lot of me going, wait, why is that person doing that? Why is that person doing that? But I do think you're right. I think that they are operating under the idea that there is a coherent plot to all of this weirdness. And you know, I think I'll. I think I'll stick with it. It's no White Lotus.

[Andrew]

Yeah, but I've been hearing people like, yeah, that sounds fun. I am. I'm still where I was yesterday on that I still need. I think I'm two episodes now every. And what about Paradise? Everybody's talking about Paradise.

[Luke Burbank]

There's some show.

[Andrew]

There's some show called paradise, which I think I've been seeing maybe populating some of the tiles on my TV recently. And then I know they were going ham on it on the Lebatard show yesterday or what I was listening to yesterday.

[Luke Burbank]

Marsden Sterling K. Brown.

[Andrew]

Oh, yeah, it sounds like everybody's, like the plot sounds dumb, but something happens, I guess in the first episode that you're going to get addicted to it. That's what everybody keeps saying, that once you're in on paradise, you're going to be in on paradise. So I'm putting that on my. I'm putting that on my list too, because it does not sound like something I would be into. A political.

[Luke Burbank]

This actually sounds really good to me. Vulture's review from Katherine Van Arendonk. It's a smooth brain dystopia and I feel fine. Like basically I was just kind of quickly speed reading the review and it sounds like basically paradise is a real smooth brained apocalypse. And that's not meant to be derogatory. Derogatory, basically. Like, I think that what they're saying is it's the opposite of severance. Like it's not requiring me to just, you know, wait from week to week to understand what's going on. It's not full of symbolism or things that may or may not add up. It's like pretty straightforward. And that's. That's how I like my television. Andrew, as we've learned from hearing me try to discuss severance, I want to.

[Andrew]

Say one other thing about severance though too is, um, you know, I wanted to talk about it because I'm. I'm still into the show and I know I've complained and it's kind of weird because I'm kind of getting a lot of emails from people either saying you don't get it or defending in some way. And it's kind of like. I don't think the issue is that I don't get severance. I mean, I'm not saying that I'm getting everything. I just think that like a big part of you don't get the show. I. Questionably. Problematic. Medic.

[Luke Burbank]

It's hard. Not. It's kind of reflex.

[Andrew]

Can you die? Are we allowed to do imitations of Cuban American dad? Yeah, I think so. It's a benchmark.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it's all right.

[Andrew]

But you know, I don't claim to get everything about it, but it's not like I'm not paying attention and it's just like I like certain aspects of the show that were emphasized more in season one. I do think that some of the filmmaking and this is all subjective. I'm. I don't want to talk anybody out of liking the show and I don't want to be in the business of talking you into liking the show. Luke. I mean, might not be for everybody. Like I said, I've been disappointed at some points this season. Like, again, like, some of the. The decisions that were just made from a filmmaking perspective. I, you know, kind of see it differently than other people do. I heard a lot of people complaining about this latest episode, and this latest episode was one of my favorites. So, you know, it's all just sort of subjective. So I don't want to be in the. In the business of making you feel like, oh, like, oh, Luke, you don't get the show.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, I don't like that.

[Andrew]

I don't think it's that. But I do think. I think they're trying. I don't think it's random. Let me put it that way. I don't think the decisions they're making is just sort of random because it'll look cool, you know, right now.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a good point. I think, again, I been saying this every week. When the severance comes up, I'm just a very literal kind of linear guy. And so when it gets too complicated and too. What feels surreal to me, it's when I get a little checked out. But what I like about this is it looks like Paradise. All of the episodes are out.

[Andrew]

Oh, okay.

[Luke Burbank]

I saw something that was like, paradise Finale Explained, which I didn't read.

[Andrew]

It's only eight episodes. It's on Hulu.

[Luke Burbank]

That sounds like just kind of the. Just the lowbrow show that I need.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Hearing people geek out about it, but without any spoilers on a podcast made me really want to check it out.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. All right. Well, what do you think, my friend? Is that enough TBTL for one day?

[Andrew]

I think so. I hesitate to bring this up here. I don't know if you happen to see this in scrolling as well. Maybe we can talk about it more tomorrow. But sad news.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Bob Rivers.

[Andrew]

Yeah, Bob Rivers passed away. Longtime Seattle broadcaster here, who you have way more memories of than I do because I didn't grow up here.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, you know, I just saw that, like, that, you know, push notification from the Seattle Times. But, you know, I knew Bob Rivers. I wouldn't say super duper well, but I had gone to a good number of. Like, he used to kind of organize these radio get togethers along with our friend Bean Baxter, and it'd just be kind of like a happy hour for, you know, anyone that was working in radio. And he was just a really. A really sweet guy and. And really generous with his time and with his expertise on things and. And, you know, I think lived an incredibly full, really rich life and had a really good perspective on life. I was personally afraid to listen to KISW because it was a rock station and I thought they were going to be playing a lot of like, Ozzy Osbourne and things that were scary to.

[Andrew]

Me and scary things like the violence. Violent Femmes.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. So when I was a kid, I would see Bob Rivers references everywhere. But I was like. I think he was. In those days, he was on kisw, and I was like, that seems very rebellious to me. I was more of a. I would sneak Charlie and Ty in the morning when I could. But. But yeah, RIP Bob Rivers. And again, he actually had. There was a really nice long piece about him in the Seattle Times recently, kind of about just how he was doing and that, you know, he was going through illness and was unlikely to live a whole lot longer. But that's almost the piece I would recommend people read because it just really. It really. Some summed up his life and again, his relationship with his wife and his children and just kind of like he seemed to have. I think a lot of it kind of revolved around him being inducted into the Radio hall of Fame and how that was a real, of course, honor for him that he was, you know, thankfully able to see, but that even at that point point, he was, you know, kind of. He was, you know, suffering through the effects of his. Of his illness. But I read that the other one, the penultimate, I guess you would say, big article about him when he was still living. And I thought, man, I hope that, like, I have that kind of, I don't know, perspective on life. You know, he just seemed like he.

[Andrew]

Really had thought you were going to say, I hope I get an article like that about me. I'm not even joking. I was like, wow, what an interesting. I'm sorry to cut you off, but, like, my brain just did something really weird there. Sorry. I just hope that as. As I get older and maybe facing the end of my days, that somebody will write a nice, really big article about me in the Seattle Times. That's.

[Luke Burbank]

That's all. That's. Is that too much to ask Andrew to ask? And if I can't get the Seattle Times, I'll take the Epoch Times, which I believe is the. Is the newspaper of Falun Gong.

[Andrew]

Is that Falung I knew is attached to one of those some.

[Luke Burbank]

One of those things. There's like a billboard for it in Portland of like, who's. Who is this appealing to? But anyway, yeah, RIP Bob Rivers definitely, for sure What a bummer. And what a. What a cool guy. I have a theory, by the way. Sorry. That actually it was his theory, and I'm surprised it doesn't come up more, which was that he had an airplane stolen. You know, he was a. He had a. I think he might have more than one plane, but he was a. You know, he had his pilot's license. He loved flying his plane. Know that he had a theory that that kid Colton Harris, more than Barefoot Bandit, had stolen his plane.

[Andrew]

As soon as you said he had a airplane stolen. Well, if you're in this neck of the woods and if it was stolen during that time period.

[Luke Burbank]

Ditched. And it was ditched. That was the thing. It was stolen out of the hangar and then it was like crashed in a field somewhere. I remember him telling us this story and we were like, this has got to be Colton Harris Moore.

[Andrew]

Yes. Boy, did you just look up his name. Good recall. And I only know him as the Barefoot Bandit. I'd forgotten his name. Is he.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't think he ever copped to that cr. No, no, he's out. He's been out for a while. I don't think he ever copped to it either, this particular thing. So, like, it's possible. And I'm just saying, I'm. This is like, how do I. How do I indemnify us against some kind of a slander allegation here? It was, if I remember right, Bob Rivers contention that his plane might have been stolen by Colton Harris Moore. I don't think law enforcement could ever prove that, but it just seemed it was at the time when he was not in jail and it was at the time when he was stealing planes and crashing them in place.

[Andrew]

Yeah, it's.

[Luke Burbank]

It stood to reason it might have been him.

[Andrew]

Absolutely. Absolutely.

[Luke Burbank]

Anyway, RIP Bob Rivers.

[Andrew]

Absolutely. Sorry, I kind of, you know, look, I realize I sort of put you on the spot there. I'm kind of like, well, I didn't know him well, Luke, what do you have to say after receiving this news two minutes ago? But anyway, thanks for the nice tribute.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. There's also a nice. Looks like a nice memorial over at. Wait for it, Andrew. My northwest dot com.

[Andrew]

Oh, okay, good.

[Luke Burbank]

They're on it over there. All right. Thanks so much for listening today, everybody. We are going to be right back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you. I don't know why I'm saying it spookily.

[Andrew]

I like it, though. I don't know if I want to listen.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. But I promise it won't be scary. It won't be like KISW in the 80s. It'll be very accessible for everyone. And so please do join us for that. In the meantime, have a great Tuesday. Take care of yourselves and please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew]

And good luck to all. Power out.