#4426 Lefty Tighty Righty Loosey

Summary

Podcast Summary: TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live – Episode #4426 "Lefty Tighty Righty Loosey"

Release Date: March 19, 2025

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1. Opening Musical Skits and Introductions (00:00 – 01:10)

The episode kicks off with a playful musical exchange between the hosts, Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh, along with Stephanie. The skit humorously addresses the theme of being "slimy" and "grimy," setting a lighthearted tone for the show.

Notable Quote:

• Andrew Walsh (00:46): "He's the handsome devil that came down from heaven to make some great songs and dance forever."

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2. Hosts’ Personal Updates and Daily Struggles (01:27 – 06:27)

Luke and Andrew delve into their personal lives, sharing anecdotes about their current projects and the challenges they face. Andrew discusses his struggles with managing multiple tasks, including preparing for a CBS TV story and attending a Livewire event. He humorously explains his disorganized morning routine and the impact it has on his productivity.

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Walsh (01:29): "I'm really discombobulated this morning. I got back last night, not super late. It was probably maybe 9 or 10pm."
• Andrew Walsh (06:27): "I have a lot of things colliding. And so like I go to sleep and then I woke up at like 3 this morning just with thinking the like racing thoughts about stuff that I needed to do."

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3. Language, Grammar, and Conversational Patterns (03:21 – 17:35)

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing language usage, particularly the omission of verbs in phrases like "this needs sorted." Stephanie and Andrew debate the grammatical correctness and regional variations in speech patterns. They explore how these linguistic nuances reflect broader social and cultural dynamics.

Notable Quotes:

• Stephanie (10:41): "I'm slimy, I'm grimy, I need a shower and I have a garbage situation."
• Andrew Walsh (14:26): "Seasonal shifts in grammar might not be technically accurate, but it's something I have noticed in my life."

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4. Introduction to "Hey Gurgle" and Content Search Features (19:26 – 21:05)

The hosts introduce "Hey Gurgle," a new search engine developed by their friend Lynn. This tool enhances the accessibility of TBTL’s vast podcast archives by allowing users to search specific phrases and clips efficiently. They demonstrate its functionality by searching for memorable quotes from past episodes.

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Walsh (20:07): "It's hey, Gurgle, which I just think is really fascinating."
• Stephanie (21:05): "Hey, Gurgle at the top. Like, yeah, let's."

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5. E-Bike Assembly and Experiences (25:08 – 43:54)

Andrew shares his recent experience assembling a new E-bike, detailing the challenges and triumphs he encountered. From struggling with the pedals to finally enjoying his first rides, Andrew provides an insightful narrative on the complexities of modern E-bikes. He also expresses his excitement about advanced helmet technology, highlighting features like integrated lights and safety enhancements.

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Walsh (25:08): "It's so cool, like, this thing has a little clicker that puts you into eco mode or sport mode."
• Andrew Walsh (34:02): "It's smart. Like everything with this bike."

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6. Advanced Helmet Technology and Safety (43:09 – 44:43)

The discussion shifts to advancements in helmet technology. Andrew showcases his new helmet equipped with front and back lights, enhancing visibility and safety during nighttime rides. He also touches upon the integration of features like cameras, although he hasn’t opted for them yet.

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Walsh (43:09): "Look at this. Like it's got like a, it's got a light on the back of it."
• Stephanie (43:15): "It's a light as well."

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7. Grocery Store Receipt Policies and Security Measures (67:03 – 79:52)

Stephanie and Andrew engage in a deep conversation about grocery store receipt checks and the implications of increased security measures. They discuss personal experiences, the balance between preventing theft and maintaining customer convenience, and the broader social issues reflected in these policies. The conversation touches on topics like institutional racism, economic inequality, and consumer trust.

Notable Quotes:

• Stephanie (74:29): "Every security person that I've seen in this store has been a person of color as well."
• Andrew Walsh (78:47): "We live in a society that is so inequitable."

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8. Brief Interludes and Listener Interactions (55:19 – 67:10)

Throughout the episode, listeners contribute voicemails and messages, adding a community feel to the show. Notably, Andrew recounts a voicemail from Nancy Rahr of Tacoma, Washington, expressing her long-term support for the show. Additionally, Stephanie shares her frustrations and thoughts inspired by listener experiences and her own observations.

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Walsh (55:37): "You've always been a comfort. The tens are a big bonus."
• Stephanie (70:24): "Now 17 whole months and super, super, super cute."

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9. Humor and Light-Hearted Moments (58:09 – 66:59)

The hosts infuse humor throughout the episode, from playful banter about helmet designs to amusing anecdotes about assembling equipment. These moments provide a relaxed and entertaining break from the more serious discussions, showcasing the hosts' chemistry and wit.

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Walsh (63:06): "I painted the side of that, that brick wall to look like it had a tunnel going into it."
• Stephanie (66:25): "Here’s what I need you to do, and I’m being serious here. I need you to really stick with the bike."

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10. Closing Remarks and Future Topics (67:03 – 80:49)

As the episode wraps up, the hosts preview upcoming segments and tease future discussions, including topics like Alexa device settings and more listener interactions. They express gratitude to their supporters and emphasize the show's commitment to engaging and entertaining content.

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Walsh (80:12): "But I can't until I get done with all my work on Livewire and the CBS story."
• Stephanie (80:49): "And good luck to all. Power out."

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Key Takeaways and Insights

• Language Evolution: The hosts explore how language usage reflects cultural and regional identities, debating the grammatical implications of phrases like "needs sorted."

• Technological Integration: Andrew's experience with E-bikes and advanced helmet technology highlights the intersection of functionality and safety in modern transportation.

• Social Commentary: Discussions on grocery store security measures serve as a commentary on broader societal issues such as economic disparity and institutional practices.

• Community Engagement: Listener interactions and voicemails emphasize the show's strong community ties and the importance of audience participation.

Conclusions

Episode #4426 "Lefty Tighty Righty Loosey" of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and thoughtful discussions on language, technology, and societal norms. Through engaging dialogues and relatable experiences, hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh provide listeners with both entertainment and insightful commentary, reinforcing the show's motto of "goofing their way through the world the best they can."

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Note: This summary encapsulates the key points and discussions from the provided transcript, offering a comprehensive overview for those who haven't listened to the episode.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

If you've got a problem that you can't solve if you're known for your drawings of sit that are tall if you've got gripes, if you've got dreams if you've got something to say Then call the TBTO voicemail line today. Just dial 206-414-8285. That's 206-414-8285. The voicemail's ready to record you. And it's so easy to call Burbank and Walsh in the Bay City tbtl.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's. He's the handsome. He's the handsome devil that came down from heaven to make some great songs and. And a dancer and give and dance forever.

[Stephanie]

You don't say much, friend, but when you do, it's to the point and I salute you for it. Pants on the ground, pants on the.

[Andrew Walsh]

Ground Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground with the gold.

[Stephanie]

In your mouth Hat turn sideways, pants hit the ground Call yourself a cool.

[Andrew Walsh]

Cat Looking like a fool Walking downtown with your pants on the ground Giddy up.

[Stephanie]

This is the real thing. This is the necessary art of our time. This needs respect.

[Andrew Walsh]

So let's keep the drinks full, let's keep the appetizers circulating, but let's not get in anybody's face, all right? Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Wednesday edition of tbtl, the show. It just might be too beautiful to live. I'll do it until it stops.

[Stephanie]

Will you please stop?

[Andrew Walsh]

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host brother. Who are you? What are you doing? Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio perched high above the mighty Columbia, where, boy, this ain't no Los Angeles weather. It's frigid here for March 19th. For me, a bathroom is just a.

[Stephanie]

Library with a cold seat.

[Andrew Walsh]

Having that moment where actually having trouble operating the laptop computer here because my fingers are numb. Because the Madrona Hill studio is even. I don't know, two years into this project. Three years. How long have we been here? Dear God. I still have a real legit heating system going in here. That's all right. I'm actually. I may brave the outdoor cold to take my new little E bike on a spin later today. If I. If I. I get a few moments of peace on this Wednesday. Unlikely considering working on this CBS TV story that we were filming that goes up on Sunday. We've got old Livewire tomorrow night at the Alberta Rose Theater. Come through here in Portland. And critically, we've got episode 4425 in a collector series to present to you right now. Let the fun begin on this very episode of the show. I read an article in the paper today making a pretty strong case that I really should just unplug my Alexa device, welcome to the Internet, and maybe just hurl it into the mighty Columbia. Although then it'll probably start recording the thoughts of the fish and other wildlife and they don't need that. Anyway, I tried to, I did something unusual this morning. Well, yeah, trying. That's unusual for me. I tried to change the security settings on my Alexa unsuccessfully. More on that coming up in a moment. Once we've said hello to this guy. Longest running cobra of the show. And of course also the man who.

[Stephanie]

Brought the rock and roll edge to the Eagles.

[Andrew Walsh]

He is Andrew Walsh and he is joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Stephanie]

Good morning. Luke. I hate to call you out like this, but I think you forgot to switch hats. You're supposed to put on your TBTL hat. Now you're doing tbtl. You're no longer doing your Sunday. You're wearing your CBS Sunday MORNING hat because you're doing CBS Sunday MORNING work. But now don't you have another hat you should put on?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, you know, let's think about the Junior Sluggers cap. Oh boy. We need to get coach Ben on the show and talk about, you know, the upcoming season and what's going on with all.

[Stephanie]

Good point. That is, that must be right around the corner. Are we in spring training right now or the Sluggers down in Peoria, pitchers.

[Andrew Walsh]

And catchers reported last week. Most of them had to miss school. They're in sixth grade. But they, you know, it's about priorities. Yeah.

[Stephanie]

Catchers had to report to detention last week.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. For sticking bubble gum under the desk. Yeah. Right before we, we started this recording today, I, I was running kind of late and I apologize to you. I, I, I said I gotta record this thing for cbs. This, the, the kind of, the voiceover tracks for this story that's gonna be on on Sunday. And I didn't realize that I also have this CBS Sunday MORNING hat on. And then when you and I got on the video link, you said, oh, I see you wear that hat when you do CVS things. And then. Yeah, exactly. And really what it is is that I am, I'm really discombobulated this morning. I got back last night, not super late. It was probably maybe 9 or 10pm But I'm having one of those weeks and it's completely self created. This is because of decisions that I've made, choices that I've made where I've got kind of a lot of things colliding. And so like I go to sleep and then I woke up at like 3 this morning just with thinking the like racing thoughts about stuff that I needed to do, which is unusual for me. I usually, however stressed I am, I usually somehow sleep my way through it. But so then I got up this morning, first of all, I hit snooze. Uncharacteristically for me, I hit snooze five times. Like my alarm goes off at 6am and I was probably pushing seven by the time that I actually got myself out of bed. And then I had to, then I had notes from our producer who I'd been working with on this story that's going on Sunday. And so, and I had to go in and try to rewrite parts of the script, I had to try to tighten it up, etc. That meant I was late on doing my TBTL prep. While I'm doing this, I'm also listening to the book on tape version of one of the three books I have to have read by tomorrow for Livewire. And in all of this I didn't get my little exercise time in. And this explains the hat, Andrew, you know, whereas you, if you could, you might take three to five showers a day. I really like to keep it to one shower a day for some reason. I don't know why that's a big deal to me, but I try to be. It's not that I'm worried about water usage. It's not that. I don't know, I don't understand why it's important to me to try to like schedule my life so that I only have to do one shower. But.

[Stephanie]

Well, you mentioned last time this came up, this sort of stuck with me. You mentioned your hair situation is more complicated than mine in that you have some.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I have some, but it's mostly spun sugar. It's, you know, it's a comb back and over. There's some powders that go in depending on what my on camera responsibilities are for that day. But yeah, that's, the hair situation is a little bit of it. And it's just one of those weird things. Like I, I was, I saw some video online and again, I don't know if this is really related to somebody who has adhd, but this person was narrating their thought pattern. They were saying basically this is how my brain works because I have adhd, which is they're Lying in bed and they think, okay, I should. I should probably exercise today. Okay. But then I should probably eat something before I exercise so that I have energy. But then also I should exercise before I do this other thing because I need to be showered before this other thing and I don't want to have to do a shower for that thing and then do a shower afterwards because I've exercised. And you start to get really caught up in this chain of events and this idea of what the most efficient series of steps are like. The day is full of a hundred things that need to happen, but they've got to line up perfectly so there's no wasted energy or else it's all ruined.

[Stephanie]

And then does everything lock up because of that? Does it end up becoming inability?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. Cuz right now the mode that I'm in is I need to do. It's Wednesday. So Monday, Wednesday and Friday I'm trying to do this wait thing. So I need to do this weight thing. But I was running out of time. It was like 9:30 and I knew that it was going to push our TBTL start, which I didn't want to do because we've got a TBTB meeting later today and I've got other appointments and all this other stuff. So what you're seeing here is me in like basically underneath these I'm wearing sweats, which is very unprofessional.

[Stephanie]

Breakaway.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yep, yep, they are. They say Chicago Bulls on the side and I'm going to run out to the Alan Parsons Project and they just like rip them off. I have my running shorts on, my exercise shorts on underneath the sweats that I'm wearing. And basically here's what's going to happen.

[Stephanie]

There does.

[Andrew Walsh]

I will probably end up. The reason I only shower once a day is because I'm often. I'm often sort of. What's the word? Inclined towards fits of sobbing in the shower. I can only handle it once a day emotionally. I have my exercise clothes on, including my shorts on underneath these sweats. And probably it won't be till 4 or 5 today before I can do this workout. Meaning I'll be going around, I'll be in town doing errands, I'll be doing all this stuff like a kid who's wearing their swim trunks under their real clothes. Like that was my move. Sometimes as a kid I was so excited about the prospects of swimming or a slip and slide or a sprinkler or whatever. Like I would sometimes just wear my swim trunks under my clothes just for a Good feeling or like because you.

[Stephanie]

Knew that you'd be at the pool later.

[Andrew Walsh]

Was that at some point? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like maybe it would be also that sometimes I didn't have any clean underwear and there was like a, there was a built in mesh, an Internet, as they say. An interneting welcome to the Internet. But that's what I feel like today. Like I've got. I feel like there's a lot that I have to get done with today. I don't really have. I don't have it mapped out in that way. That would kind of calm down my anxiety around it because that's the other thing I have every single day I have this email drafted. It's a to do. And I put the things in in order. And when those things are all in order, not that I even always accomplish them in that order or in the timeline that I lay out, but there's something about laying out the timeline down to the 15 minute increment that kind of calms me down. And then I feel like now this is accomplishable. And today because I overslept and because I've got these various parts of my job life kind of all kind of clanging into each other. I'm just a man sitting in front of you with extreme bedhead underneath his CBS Sunday morning hat and his swim trunks on, just hoping somebody will take me to the community pool.

[Stephanie]

I am looking for the perfect drop, which I can't find right now, but I think in the parlance of tbtl, you're slimy, you're grimy and you need a shower. Is that what it is? I'm slimy, I'm grimy, I need a shower and I have a garbage situation.

[Andrew Walsh]

Really hitting a lot of the high points of the show. I think that's interesting because that's our friend Gus, right?

[Stephanie]

No, no, no, that is. This is Andrew's kid who's now.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm grimy, I'm slimy, I need a shower and I've got a garbage situation.

[Stephanie]

I believe that was originally a creature and I think it was all started with a quote from me one day because think I was in kind of a similar situation as you, probably sans the to do list. But I think I joined the show one day pre shower and I felt like I had. Yeah, like I just had to. It's kind of like, you know when people start smoking weed for the first time and they have to tell everybody how high they are. I mean, you don't hang around in those circles and I don't Think you did back in the day. But you know, like, if you're somebody who's pretty, you know, like, kind of comfortable with and used to the idea of smoking marijuana, but then you are. And I'm thinking like college era days or whatever, and then there's somebody who.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, you no longer feel the need to report your level of highness.

[Stephanie]

Yeah. And then there's somebody who doesn't do it that much. And there's like, you guys. You guys. And it's like there's this. This impulse, this compulsion. Compulsion. Compulsion.

[Andrew Walsh]

Electrician.

[Stephanie]

Yeah, what am I saying? Compulsion.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think it has to do with certain s. I guess so.

[Stephanie]

Yeah. Boy, I just heard that in real life. But I'm on the record.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love how you say, like, I.

[Stephanie]

Don'T think we're gonna.

[Andrew Walsh]

I won't accept any criticism of you on that.

[Stephanie]

But anyway, to like, tell everybody, oh, I'm so high, man. I'm so high. And I sort of feel like that is me. When I haven't taken a shower, I gotta like, kind of tell them, like, listen, I'm just like, I got. I haven't taken a shower because it's so front of mind to me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. The thing about that clip of tape, can you play it again if you still have it there, of that young person quoting me?

[Stephanie]

Quoting. I'm slimy, I'm grimy, I need a shower and I have a garbage situation. I misspoke. This. Andrew is the speaker there, by the.

[Andrew Walsh]

Way, this young person who's probably not that young anymore, probably welcoming their first child.

[Stephanie]

I hope not.

[Andrew Walsh]

Bruce.

[Stephanie]

Maybe that's Bruce, that's not true. Everything's fine.

[Andrew Walsh]

That sounds like a kid who grew up in a house where they say that needs recycled, that needs washed, that needs showered. And I grew up in a house where it was that needs to be recycled. Have you noticed this division in how people talk about things? So let's imagine like you've got a couple of piles of things. Like in the garage, you either had a dad who says, oh yeah, that needs to be sorted, or you had a dad who said, that needs sorted.

[Stephanie]

I had not noticed this.

[Andrew Walsh]

Listen for it.

[Stephanie]

I have issues with this, but you're saying this is a new phenomenon or this goes.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't think it's new. It's just a division. It's just a. It's yet another way that they try to divide us. Andrew. No, I. I just have, like, I had friends and I'll just. I've always heard this in speech patterns that there are People. And I think it just has to do with how it was in your house you grew up in. So, for instance, can you play the clip one more time?

[Stephanie]

Yeah. Yes. But you're gearing up. I'm waiting for you to finish, because then I want the rest of the show to respond. I'm slimy, I'm grimy. I need shower, and I have a garbage situation.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now, this could have just been a simple slip of the tongue, but I need shower as opposed to I need to shower. The word to is left out. And that's, in my experience, part of a larger vocal pattern that a lot of people have where they say that needs recycled, that. That needs sorted. That needs. But they don't say to be recycled, to be sorted, to shower. It's like the. And this is where I'm getting up at the. To the edge of my knowledge of grammar. I guess it would be the verb.

[Stephanie]

Yeah, it sounds like they're taking the verb out, which is. Or. Or turning a noun into a verb, which is a huge pet peeve of mine.

[Andrew Walsh]

Generally shower. But shower isn't shower of.

[Stephanie]

No, you're right. Shower is a verb. Shower is a verb. I guess recycle is a verb, too. That needs. So give me the ex. Examples again.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, so I walk. So you're. You're. You're visiting the Madrona Hill studio, and I've got a bunch of stuff that's kind of cluttered. In fact, I sort of literally do over on the. What will someday be the kitchen island. Yes, friends. Yes, listener. That's still not done. And there's just some different piles of things and let's say some audio cables and other, you know, Jurassic technology. It's a. There's a mini disc player, etc. You are visiting. And I look over and I go, oh, yeah, that. Now, if I'm talking like myself to you, Andrew, I would look over and I go, oh, yeah, all that stuff needs to be sorted. All that stuff needs to be sorted out or sorted. Now, if I grew up in a different kind of family structure, that My theory is this young person did. And by family structure, I just mean conversationally, the words we use. I would say.

[Stephanie]

You don't mean broken home.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, no, no. I'm. That everything I know about that home. You're saying is that Bruce and like Steven.

[Stephanie]

Yes. And that's. I'm so embarrassed for fumbling that. Andrew is the speaker there.

[Andrew Walsh]

Bruce father, I believe, is Andrew the prom baby?

[Stephanie]

I think so.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think that that child was conceived.

[Stephanie]

After that's why I was really trying to back you off of the. Andrew is now having children. I don't need to give anybody that.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, 17 was early enough for me.

[Stephanie]

Andrew, stop listening.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is it possible. I mean, Andrew, might you go to church right now? Andrew needs church.

[Stephanie]

Andrew, pray. This needs praying.

[Andrew Walsh]

This needs. Pray. This needs prayer. No, actually, that might. That might actually work. But here's my point. I. The way that. The way I always heard it and the way we always said it in my family was like, this needs to be sorted. And there is a different version of that. That is the way a lot of Americans speak, which is, this needs sorted to be is dropped. This needs sorted. This needs.

[Stephanie]

So I think that's proper. I think sorting might work.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't think it's proper either, but.

[Stephanie]

It'S what people do, because here's my thing. Do you remember when you were in England?

[Andrew Walsh]

I do.

[Stephanie]

Okay. And do you remember that we recorded a hey Dummies video there with our friend? I did.

[Andrew Walsh]

With our friend Bean? Oh, man.

[Stephanie]

Baxter.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I've got. I just got a. I just got a ping from WhatsApp. What's. What's are you guys doing over on WhatsApp?

[Stephanie]

Oh, is it from Bean? Okay, well, we'll figure that out later. You guys recorded a video talking about sort of verbal pet peeves that you hear other people do. And the question was like, is it, you know, whether it's sort of a. A grammatical thing or an expression? And I answered the same question for hey Dummies a couple of weeks later, because I had a lot of feelings about this stuff, as you know, And I talked about two words or kind of phrases that I don't like their words, really, that sort of came into existence during my lifetime that I don't like the old one being the word party as a verb. And I said this, and I think it was maybe last week's hey Dummies or two weeks ago that. Like, I don't feel like our parents generation grew up saying, hey, let's party. I was partying last night, right? They would just say, I was drinking or whatever.

[Andrew Walsh]

I like to party.

[Stephanie]

And then when I party, and then when I was in college, people would be like, oh, yes, partying last night. I was just always like that. This hits my ear wrong. And then also, I didn't like the fact that, like, partying was just. It didn't actually even mean going to a party. It just meant, like, you could have been at home just getting drunk on a six pack. Like, oh, I partied too hard last night. Like, oh, really? Who were you partying with? Like, nobody. I was just watching reruns. I'm like, that's not party. Like, anyway. And then the other one was adulting, which is a much more modern one. Like, that idea. And again, both of them fall into this category of taking a noun, though I went to a party and turning into a verb. I partied. I am acting like an adult. Acting being the verb there, too. Adulting. And so that is like an irritation of mine. But you've sort of blown my mind here because if you say that needs sorted, you're just skipping the. You're skipping the verb altogether because it needs to be to be there. However, every example you gave, the word is kind of a verb. Like, sort can be used as a verb. As you said, recycle can be used. Rinse. So wash. That needs wash. All of these. That needs washed. It's wrong. I do wonder, though, and this might just be my connection to, like, kind of having family in Appalachia and, like, West Virginia and stuff. Like, I feel like I could hear a church saying something like, that needs washing. That needs washing, or that needs rinsing or something like that, which is that also. That also must be wrong, right? Also, I do want to play this for you. I am grimy. I am slimy. I need a shower, and I'm in the middle of a garbage situation. That's the original cut from episode 2995, found via the new search engine called hey, Gurgle that was built from the ground up by.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let's talk about that. I want to. First of all, I want to apologize to Lynn and to you that, you know, that you guys were going a little bit back and forth on this, and I was absent because of being in transit and things like that. But can you explain this? What hey, Gurgle is.

[Stephanie]

I can't, because it is deeply complicated. No, it was complicated on the back end. And Lynn walked us through how it worked out for him, and it was so fascinating and so over my head. But basically, we all know Lynn, who's been running Marsupial Gurgle for a long, long time, and then kind of took a hiatus for a while of pulling clips from every episode of TBTL and sorting it and organizing it and tagging it and uploading it.

[Andrew Walsh]

He didn't sorted.

[Stephanie]

There was a huge, huge database that Lynn had created, but apparently the search function on that Marsupial Gurgle, the search engine, didn't work all that well. But then Lynn recently just said, I'm going to revisit this. It's just been bugging him. I'm just going to revisit this and create a good search engine. And since we say hey, Gorgle all the time on this show, Lynn's calling this hey, Gurgle, which I just think is really fascinating. That's really clever if you want a quick, fast way. And this was really quick. I typed in slimy, and the second result was me saying this. I am grimy. I am slimy. I am. I need a shower and I'm in the middle of a garbage situation. I found that in seconds by going to search.marsupialgirl.com hey, hey, hey, gorgle. Hey, gurgle.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's hey, gurgle.

[Stephanie]

Search.marsupial.com and gurgles g-u r g l e dot com.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, I just want to check this out too while we're talking.

[Stephanie]

I just want to. I don't know if the search engines have found it yet, but if I type in hey, Gurgle, what do I get? Yes. You know what? Just type in hey, Gurgle. And I think you might get there. This is great. Yeah, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my gosh. Yes. This is incredible. Search.MarsupialGurgle.com and it says hey, Gurgle at the top. Like, yeah, let's. I'm trying to think.

[Stephanie]

You can also just go to marsupialgurgle.com, by the way, and hit search. I now realize that's the easiest way to get people there. Sorry for being so clumsy about this.

[Andrew Walsh]

Lynn, but yeah, if you just go.

[Stephanie]

To marsupial.com and let the robot do.

[Andrew Walsh]

What the robot do, that's a great drop. This is really helpful to me, Andrew, because, like, I don't have enough drops about robots. I mean, really, I have. Does this sound like a musical robot? But, like, this is. I mean, it would. It does involve us playing more drops of ourselves, I guess, which I don't know how the listeners feel about that, but this is remarkable. Good job, Lynn.

[Stephanie]

Just felt shame buying pre boiled eggs. I felt shame. I have no recollection of saying that. Of course. This is a wonderland. I'm looking for more here. Oh, here's. I typed in eggs.

[Andrew Walsh]

I found myself in that condition before where I'm like deep, deep in the bowels of someone's Twitter and I'm like reading things and responding and fighting and I realize I'm mostly fighting with eggs.

[Stephanie]

Oh, that kind of egg.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Remember those?

[Stephanie]

Figure out what we're getting at there.

[Andrew Walsh]

What a. What a simpler time. And was it when like the worst thing happening on Twitter was just like bot accounts and eggs and just the occasional, you know, right wing nut job who was, you know, being shadow banned or whatever? Like, what a. What a time.

[Stephanie]

Setting us. It was just foreplay, Luke. Just setting us up for the future, I think. So where were we? So, yeah, the grammatical thing. I don't know. I don't think that I don't want to be judged in omission.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I'm sorry, I'll let you finish.

[Stephanie]

No, I was just gonna. I. I just don't. I. I guess I sincerely feel that while I love being a pedant and I love talking about grammar, I also feel like I don't want to police the way other people speak as well. And that's something that's new. Ish to me. Like in adulthood, I think, like, I had no problem, like, kind of like.

[Andrew Walsh]

You started adulting now that I.

[Stephanie]

Exactly. Right. I think when I was a younger person and more strident, I'd be like, you know, say it right or whatever.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Stephanie]

Except for the things that I say wrong, like Reese's PCs. Then you just got to give me leeway on that because it's cute. Let him live, you know. Yeah, exactly. So. Well, yeah, so it's like I can't live in both worlds and it's like. No, I like exploring these, you know, experiences and the way people talk, but I don't want to be over here being like, you're wrong or whatever. Absolutely, Absolutely. Finger pointing. If you're going around saying that you're adulting.

[Andrew Walsh]

I am. I mean, I think the thing about adulting is. I think it's a very. It's a very self aware, kind of slight misuse of the word or whatever. Like, I mean, that's part of the joke of adulting, which, you know, is again, kind of one of those, you know, I can't even adult today, Andrew. It's like even. Yeah, that's not. Probably not for me, but. But as far as like how I started this whole thing, I'm not even. I'm not critical at all of people who say this needs sorted. It's like, it's just a. Is it technically accurate or technically is grammatically correct? Maybe not or whatever. I don't care at all. I just think it's something that I have noticed in my life is a way that a lot of people talk and I find it great. It's, you know, variety is the spice of life. Like I'm not here to, I'm not here to correct anyone on that. I'm just here to note it and see Andrew, if you now start noticing it occasionally. And you also may need to travel to. You may need to travel outside of your liberal bubble. You may need to get out with the real people, with real Americans. Because I also like, I feel like.

[Stephanie]

This is we're going to Federal way.

[Andrew Walsh]

I feel like this is a pattern of speech that like Camaro Kev heard a good amount of growing up in Lake Stevens.

[Stephanie]

Maybe Lake Stevens would have been better than the still too close to that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Does tossed salad and scrambled eggs.

[Stephanie]

Sorry, still on the eggs. Close the tab.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hey, I, I'm very excited about this, my new E bike. Andrew.

[Stephanie]

Oh, I'm very excited about your new E bike too.

[Andrew Walsh]

I got it on on Friday. So like last Friday. But then I kind of almost immediately went out of town. I basically had a lot to do on that Friday we wrapped tbtl. I had all this stuff I should be doing. And then I immediately set about assembling the bicycle just because I was so excited. I texted you a picture. I was like, I'm like a nine year old kid on Christmas morning. Like I was so. And I was also proud of myself because it, it came together. The assembly of this E bike was, was pretty, pretty straightforward. It's kind of annoying because the way this is almost like an IKEA type of a thing, which is they didn't want to have instructions that were language specific.

[Stephanie]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Because they probably sell these things all over the world. And so it was just a video of a guy wordlessly doing this thing. Which is great except I had to keep rewinding the video because think about it. It's like you start the video and it's got this little music playing. He's. He's setting this part up and then he's doing this and you know, but then it's like, okay, wait, is that cable going over that thing or under that thing? And then you got to stop and rewind it and then pause it and then kind of get it going. And then you're holding the phone, you're like propping the phone up somewhere and trying to rewind it and you know, it. It would have been a little easier if there was just like, you know, instructions starting with this is the first thing you do. They had a QR code. It's you know, 2025. So of course it's like a QR code with the stuff. You scan it and it takes you to the video of the guy wordlessly assembling the bicycle.

[Stephanie]

But it'd be funny if he did it wordlessly with no music, just a low level ground hum.

[Andrew Walsh]

There was a little. There was a little peppy music underneath him, but that would have also been eerie. Some kind of a hostage video. He's in a basement. There's a light that just kind of.

[Stephanie]

It just sort of flickers while you hear a loud refrigerator.

[Andrew Walsh]

You have to put this bike together in one hour or somebody dies. I was proud of this, though. It's such a small thing, but. Well, first of all, what was in my head was that we'd had a listener who had reached out when she heard that this was the kind of bicycle that I was going to buy. And she had mentioned that I think her husband had bought this kind of bike. And she found it to be. They found it to be a little bit. Okay. It was listener Susan who had reached out and said that basically she bought this bike. And then I think she might have tasked her husband with assembling. And then it was pretty frustrating to assemble. So I was kind of bracing for that. I think we bought different kinds of bikes from this company, but. So it was coming together pretty straightforward. And then I get to the pedals and that should be very easy because you just screw them into the, you know, the two. I don't know the word for it.

[Stephanie]

Andrew, but whatever words in the video, unfortunately, that's right.

[Andrew Walsh]

So whatever you call the thing that your pedal on your bicycle goes into that then drives the gears or the crank. The other thing. The thing that goes into the other thing.

[Stephanie]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I. I'm sitting there and I go to put the pedal in and just screw it in. It's a pretty straightforward process, I think. And it's like, it's not quite seating and then. And going in there. And then I'm. I got one of them kind of mostly in and the other one kind of doesn't want to go. And I'm like, I get it all. I get to start threading. But then. And I want to really start reefing on it. But I'm also worried that if I like.

[Stephanie]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

If I refine it and the threads get damaged, you know, like, game over.

[Stephanie]

Right. So scared of stripping things out these days. Like, so scared. And that's an. You can't do it there that you're putting so much pressure on those pedals. That has to be seated properly, otherwise in no time it's just going to wear itself out.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I thought the irony of this was like, at this point, literally the entire bike is assembled.

[Stephanie]

Yeah, this should be the easy part.

[Andrew Walsh]

And, and I thought, boy, wouldn't it be crazy if like they had just, when they machined this, they just didn't thread the pedals quite right. Or one of them was kind of off or the, you know, like this whole thing is put together but without pedals, it can't. I was like, can I Gilligan's island to this? Can I Gilligan's island this? Can I like lash a couple of sticks onto there for the pedals. Like, it's so funny to have this. You know, it's cheap as E bikes go, but still not. It'd be the most, probably most expensive bicycle I've ever purchased. And it's totally functional except the most critical, arguably one of the most critical parts, which is the pedals. And I'm sitting there and I'm just like, I'm kind of going online, I'm not finding much. And then I finally decide, let me just see if somewhere in this pamphlet because there's a QR code. But I was like, there must be some directions. And sure enough, there was kind of like minimal directions. It wasn't like a step by step, but it was just like occasionally chirping it of like this. And it was like, as I was getting close to just like jamming these pedals in and just trying to get them in there once and for all. But I could see little silver shavings starting and I was like, oh, I hate that. We can't, we can't, you know, because like, if Walt was here. Well, first of all, I would just. I'm a 48 year old, soon to be 49 year old man who thought, I wish I could ask my dad how to do this.

[Stephanie]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Because he just, he is, he has a mechanically inclined brain and he would just figure it out. He would just go, well, it's probably this. And he'd be right. I literally thought, God, I wish Walt was here. He'd help me with this. But he wasn't here.

[Stephanie]

And so can I, can I guess the solution here?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Stephanie]

You need to take a toothpick and clean out your charging port. Was that it?

[Andrew Walsh]

I was halfway to the Apple store.

[Stephanie]

Andrew, with this bike.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was halfway to the Genius bar with this bike. I was like, I again, this is such a low, such a low bar. But I went through a whole range of emotions. First was they sent me the wrong Pedals. That's why this bike is cheap, because it's just run by morons. And they just like, they. They sent the wrong thing or they didn't. The reason this bike was. Was relatively cheap by E Bike standards was because they don't care about details. They don't care about things like machining the threads on the pedals so that they're the. You know, and. And then I was like, you know, like, I'm gonna have to go through customer service. And then I just thought, I bet there is a solution to this. Like, I just had this moment of being like, I bet you if I dig a little deeper, there is a. There's a reasonable explanation. I'm just doing something wrong here. I don't know what that something is, but let's not just throw, you know, let's not just throw the baby out with the bathwater. Let's also not like reef on this thing so that you do. Because that's the other thing that I tend to do. Generally speaking, when I come up against a problem when I'm doing any kind of a construction project or an assembly project is a lot of times I assume that the directions are wrong or they sent the wrong thing. Not. Okay, this is probably designed to fit together. And if it's not fitting together, it means I'm doing something wrong and I need to step back and take a moment and assess. That's not in my personality. I'm a very. Just kind of like. And then I end. I usually end up doing more harm than good.

[Stephanie]

I'm coming up with another theory, but I don't want to interrupt your story before you give the reveal. I have a real theory now.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, I want to hear.

[Stephanie]

I'm really interested in this. I'm on the edge of my seat. As somebody who completely understands these feelings that you're having. Like you're already writing the note in to the company in your head before you figured it out. Usually my troubleshooting is more an electronic kind of things, computery things or whatever. But I totally want to validate what you're saying about that feeling. But I'm also somebody who does slow down a little bit and go through the truck and also is filled with self doubt in a lot of ways. So goes through the troubleshooting process. And I want to guess this. Is there any chance it is specific? Left, right pedals. And you were trying to put the left and the right and the right and the left?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes and yes. And that's the rule of podcasting.

[Stephanie]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

And absolutely. So here was the trick. First of all, they were left and right pedals, which it did not tell you in the wordless video. The wordless video, a guy who looks like the breakout star, other than the, the woman who won the, the Academy Award for Anora obviously is the breakout star of Anora, but there's this other guy who plays her sort of like taciturn Russian love interest who is also the breakout star of Anora. I think the guy in the video looked exactly like the dude from Anora, but he did not. There was no writing on the screen. No one did not say on the video, left and right pedal. I don't know how you would ever know that. And so I had put one of the pedals on and it had kind of started to work. In fact it did, it screwed in. Okay. But I had no idea if I was, if it was in the right thing or not. But this was the other. And luckily in the instructions, which again were not comprehensive, but this was in there they said the pedals are left and right. And here's the other thing. They turn in different directions when you're screwing them in. One of the pedals is counterclockwise and one of them is clockwise.

[Stephanie]

Now that's strange.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think it has to do probably with the way that the pressure from your feet and the, and the gears and the crank. So it's going to be, it's going to be self tightening instead of self loose.

[Stephanie]

Yes. Okay, that's really brilliant. Then that makes sense.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's smart. Like everything with this bike. Andrew, this thing is so flipping sweet. So I also there was MC squared.

[Stephanie]

Smart bike.

[Andrew Walsh]

How smart is that?

[Stephanie]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh my gosh. So like I, I, I, I, I. So I, I figured out. And the other thing was that the, there was the tiniest of like very subtle indication of a little L and a little R. And I am now too old to read this kind of stuff without my glasses and a bright light.

[Stephanie]

Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like 20 years ago I would have just looked and been like, oh, this one has, has R etched in it in the absolute smallest size. But instead I was like, well, let's get the, let's get the flashlight out on the old iPhone.

[Stephanie]

Yeah, that was, that was the Luke Burbank who could drink a cup of coffee before I went to bed. I remember that guy.

[Andrew Walsh]

I should stop now. And, and so anyway, I, I figured out which was the left, which was the right and then had to remind myself of what clockwise and counterclockwise.

[Stephanie]

Was.

[Andrew Walsh]

But with a little finessing, I got them in there, they worked great. And then I had to charge up the battery on the bike, which was. Took a few hours, which was, again, like, it was torture to me because I was so excited to get out there. And then I. I did. I wrote it up. I wrote it just like, up and down my street, which is on a hill, as you might imagine. And it was so cool. It's the coolest. I mean, literally, I was on the bike for 10 minutes. So maybe the issues that people have sort of flagged with it will come into play once I'm actually doing longer rides and I've used it more and whatever. But as far as the short term goes, like, I've only ridden an E bike maybe once or twice in my life. And it's so cool. Like, this thing has, you know, it has a little clicker that puts you into, like, eco mode or sport mode. There's all these different little things. And, like, I would just flew up that hill. It was so great. Now, here's the weird thing. And this just goes to some, I don't know, core insecurity I have. I don't know why I felt embarrassed by my neighbors seeing me riding this bike. Like, why. I don't know why that would be a feeling I would have. But, like, I rode by a couple of neighbors who happened to be out doing things, and, like, they waved and I waved and, like, there's not most of my neighbors around here. I have had, like, maybe three conversations with briefly, like, roll the window on the car. How's the day going? Nice weather we're having. Everyone is cool out here. I don't know why. Somehow the idea of them seeing me riding a bike up and down the street made me feel kind of foolish. I can't explain that feeling, but I had it.

[Stephanie]

I think I understand how you might feel about that, especially because you're not on bikes much. So you.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm not on bikes much.

[Stephanie]

You felt ostentatious is the wrong word, but I felt childlike and somewhat awkward maybe.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I felt like, yeah, nobody ride. I've never seen anyone riding a bike on this road is the first thing. Probably there are people around here who are cyclists, but probably do that thing where they, like, have a rack on the back of their truck and they throw their cycles, their bikes on and they go down to someplace and ride them or whatever. You don't see people. It's like a very hilly neighborhood without sidewalks, and you just don't See people generally riding their bikes. There's not. Young kids. You don't have a culture of, like, little kids bike riding. Actually, it's not true. If you go a few blocks from me, there is that. But, like, I don't know why. It was like, I felt when my neighbors were observing, I drove by someone who was coming down in a car, and they waved and I kind of waved. I felt like they're like, this is a guy going through a crisis. This is a guy that.

[Stephanie]

They were just like, neighbor got a new bike, maybe, or not even that. They just saw your face and waved.

[Andrew Walsh]

I understand this intellectually. I can. I'm just emotionally. What it felt like to me was they were like, oh, this guy got an E bike because he's trying to somehow change his life. And he just put it together and he's all excited and. And this is. This is a very immature behavior from a guy who's going to be 50 pretty soon. That was. And I was like, I got to get over this because I do want to start riding this bike and I don't want to be. I. And also, by the way, when I get out of my neighborhood, I think that feeling will go down. It's not like I'm embarrassed to be seen riding a bike out on the larger neighborhood road pass cars that. Of people who I will never meet with. Something about my immediate circle of neighbors. I also have. You've been to my house. I am at the dead end of this road, and I'm kind of. I feel like in a little bit of a fishbowl because my little house, my little cottage was the first thing built out here. And then the rest of the. Of the area got subdivided and developed. So it's like if I have a delivery coming down, if Walt is here, if I'm home or not home. I feel like I've got neighbors that are kind of their. Their houses are up kind of above my house, and they can very easily, by looking out their window, observe me at all times.

[Stephanie]

And the view you would like, the. The natural view of that area is the river. And you are between them and the river. Yeah, Right.

[Andrew Walsh]

So if they're sitting out on their porch, you know, at night watching the sunset or just having a relaxing time, it's kind of like you've got the river, which is, like you said, that's what we're all looking at. But then you've got this house that's down there at the end of the street. So I'm kind of.

[Stephanie]

That has a Year old guy putting baseball cards in his spokes for some reason and trying to make sure that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Being honest, why, I felt a little bit childlike.

[Stephanie]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

When I was making vroom, vroom sounds as I was riding this bike. But actually this is the other thing that I'm pretty excited about, Andrew. And this is a more like I want to be. Well, how do, how do I get into this? I'm really excited about where helmet technology has gone.

[Stephanie]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Because. And this is. I want to be careful because I think that we should be wearing helmets when we ride bikes. Well, I'll say this.

[Stephanie]

Oh my God, I love how much you're equivocating on one of the most, I would think, like universally agreed upon ideas here.

[Andrew Walsh]

But I think I'm on the record on this show as saying I never wore a helmet when I was a kid and quote unquote, I was fine. And I was a big bike riding kid. Like it was a big part of my life a getting places and be like doing jumps and shit with my friends. Like we were really into riding our bikes everywhere and doing a lot of like, frankly dangerous stuff. And it was unheard of for any of us to wear helmets. And in adult life, the couple of times I've been on a bike, I probably haven't been wearing a helmet. I don't want to put you on the spot, but like when you get like a city bike or something. Are you helmeting? No.

[Stephanie]

I know that I should but like for me, the city bike is never a planned out thing. In fact, I don't believe I have a helmet helmet anymore. But I'm with you. I didn't have a bike helmet until I was an adult. I didn't, I wasn't doing kind of daredevil things on my bicycle. But I know, you know, I grew up in the country where there were no sidewalks or anything. And so by. And my parents were very strict about keeping us off the roads because you would hear a lot of. I mean these were like very countryish, very hilly, very curvy roads where idiots with mullets and thunderbirds would like to speed around. You know, beer cans out there.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was gonna say they probably a couple of. A couple of Miller lights in. Yeah, they're doing it.

[Stephanie]

And so, yeah, it's not unheard of. So I mostly wasn't allowed on the roads. But then when I was, I think maybe about 14 or something, my folks started letting me ride to my friend Tony's house and, and I would go. And when Tony moved away I would go, I would still go there and mow his dad's lawn and hang out with Tony's dad. He's really cool guy. But it was like, I remember it was like a five mile bike ride and I had a, a ten speed and it was five miles on the shoulder of country roads. That and I never wore a helmet. So yeah, the culture around that.

[Andrew Walsh]

The reason I think I'm equivocating so much too is because I've probably in a maybe, I guess you could say a kind of regrettable moment on the show more than once. I've probably equated like the bubble wrapping of American children and the fact that it's like, you know, Peyton, put your helmet on on while you're riding on your strider on the sidewalk. Which like, if you don't know a strider is kind of like now one of these. It's early bike development. It doesn't actually have a crank on it.

[Stephanie]

It's just like it was almost what you were going to be doing until you figured out the.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, exactly. I was going to have my own version. But like it's a thing that like little kids ride on to get used to being on two wheels. But they don't pedal, they just kind of like hop along and then move it and everything. And like if I see a kid on a strider and with a helmet, some part of me is like how far is the kid going to fall from the strider that's going under 0.05 miles per hour anyway? I think being 49, soon to be has me in a different frame of mind which is like. And maybe I'm just more fearful about the world now in a, in a good way. In a. Certainly in this way, in a good way. Which is like when I got this bike, the next thought I had was I got to figure out some kind of helmet situation. I can't be out there putting in miles along these also kind of rural roads with no shoulder at my age, without a helmet and risking going over the handlebars or somebody clipping me or who knows what and then just being, you know, in, in some kind of an alt altered state for the rest of my life. And I'm happy to say I got this helmet, Andrew, like these new helmets. First of all, check this out. I don't really know how to operate it yet, but like check out this. Like it's got like a, it's got.

[Stephanie]

A light on the back of it. Yeah, it's almost a night rider esque light. For folks who can't see it. Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

And so if you're riding and it's dark, that's. That's adding some. And then look at the front. You can't really tell because it's bright here.

[Stephanie]

Is it reflective?

[Andrew Walsh]

It's. No, it's. It's a light.

[Stephanie]

It's a light as well.

[Andrew Walsh]

That little thing is a light. And like. Hold on. How about a camera?

[Stephanie]

Does have any cameras on it?

[Andrew Walsh]

They probably would upsell me on that. I don't think I got the one. This doesn't have a camera. Hold on a sec. Let's see here. Crazy hair alert. All right.

[Stephanie]

Now sound backwards. Luke.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm not here to tell you I look cool, Andrew, because I don't. But I look, I think, less dorky than what I imagined a helmet would do. Because the last time I even like, looked at a bike helmet was 20 years ago. And they.

[Stephanie]

And they had those, like, they almost looked like. For a while there, all bike helmets looked like those Nerf footballs that were twisty sort of. You know what I'm talking about. When we were kids, they all had.

[Andrew Walsh]

These like, spiral ones.

[Stephanie]

Yeah. And they had like. The bike helmets were really ugly for a while.

[Andrew Walsh]

They were. They were not something that the designers were thinking about the look of, which is fine because they were thinking about the preserving someone's brain function of them. Also. Look at this visor. It's. It's a magnetic.

[Stephanie]

Oh, wow. You just popped thing off. Yeah, Just break away.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like sticks on breakaway clothes. Like, I just. I'm amazed at how. At how designy things are these days. And for all the things about 20, 25 that just manifestly suck, I do feel like helmet technology again. I got to get.

[Stephanie]

Got to quickly get your quickly replaced cap back on. Oh, yeah. The world's not ready to see what's underneath those hats.

[Andrew Walsh]

No. It's troubling.

[Stephanie]

But anyway, would be awesome if they combine that with the. The laser baldness helmet technology. Andrew, how cool would it be if you were riding your bike at night and people could see your red glowing face, like, coming?

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you understand? That's literally a thought I had. At three in the morning, I literally woke up. I thought I should pitch this to Andrew or I should pitch this to the Sharks. Hey, Sharks.

[Stephanie]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

I need $500,000 to perfect my helmet technology. It's a bike helmet that also regrows your hair.

[Stephanie]

I am surprised that you didn't go for a. I thought for sure you were going to tell me that you got a Camera on your helmet because it seems like you like documenting things.

[Andrew Walsh]

This. Actually, I have to be honest with you. There's a bunch of this helmet that I bought from some company called Unit One. It, I took the base, the base model, like it had all these like, you can get some kind of a remote control dealy for that sits on your bike, but it, it remote controls the helmet and it, it does left and right turns on that light. Oh, like turn night ride, turn signal. That's an upsell.

[Stephanie]

I wonder if I was a driver, if I would, I, if I would clock that. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, you know, as opposed to the old fashioned. Yeah, but there was like, there was like three or four other things that I could have. And you know, they, they know exactly the price point to get me. They're all like 30 more dollars. Like, oh, do you want the remote for your turn signal on your thing? And it's like 30 more bucks. Just throw it in the shopping cart. You're like, well, it's, you know, it's one banana, Michael. Yeah, but then you do three of those and now it's another $100 of stuff. And I figured, let me. If I find myself riding this bike so much and wearing this helmet so much, and I find using the traditional bike turn signals so odious, then I will spend the $30 to get the thing that turns the helmet into like a blinker system. I, I am trying to, in the smallest way, kind of like there's another example of this. Oh, you know, I, On Monday when I was at the hotel, I was working out in the gym and you know, because of this weight thing I'm trying to do, which have not done today, I was using the dumbbells in the gym in the hotel. You know, a lot of times most gyms now in hotels just have like a, a rack of those different dumbbells. What I have is this kooky adjustable system that's kind of like this big, bulky, cumbersome thing that you can make each, each dumbbell like up to £50 each or down to like £15 each.

[Stephanie]

You're saying it's cumbersome, but it takes up less space than having a whole bunch of them. So in a certain way it takes up less space.

[Andrew Walsh]

It, it does take up less space. Not, it's not as space efficient, as efficient as I thought it was going to be. But like, of course what's happened is now that I've put in all of three to four weeks on this thing, and then I went to the hotel. And I used their, their system. And that's so easy. You don't have to adjust everything. It's just, it's a tree of these different weights. And you do one weight and then you get done, you take your break, you grab the next one. I was like, this is so great. And then like, of course I texted Becca and I was like, okay, this, these dumbbell, like the, the, the, the dumbbell, like, rack is the way to go. And then she was like, don't buy one.

[Stephanie]

You're like, no, no, they have special ones that are made of gold now. That's why they're think you know me.

[Andrew Walsh]

The reason she was saying don't buy one is because you can buy them at the. There's like a Nike employee store that.

[Stephanie]

We get to go to where everything.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is like half off. And so I was like, no, no, no, good, good call. But, but I. What I was really thinking was, okay, I have now clocked that I like using this dumbbell rack better than my weird system here. But what I'm going to do is I'm going to max out my weird system. I'm going to use my weird system because I paid for it until it actually becomes obsolete for me. Either I'm lifting enough weight that there no longer is enough weight in these adjustable things, or let's just say six months or a year from now. This is something that I've really made a regular practice of. And I can really say to myself, honestly, yes, you are going to get use out of this dumbbell set if you buy a new set with a rack and everything. But old me would have just that morning just bought a rack on Amazon or something and just been like, now this is my new reality. But I'm like, I'm trying to the same thing with this bike helmet. It's like I'm trying to see if I'm going to use it enough before I go buy the Cadillac of bike helmets.

[Stephanie]

Here's what I need you to do, and I'm being serious here. I need you to really stick with the bike because I need you to continue to.

[Andrew Walsh]

You need to live vicariously.

[Stephanie]

Well, sort of. But like, I've been very e bike curious for a while there, and I was getting pretty close to. I was getting close to thinking seriously about it. And that is true. I was not yet thinking seriously about it, but I was getting close to thinking about it seriously. And these are my steps. That's on my to do list. Number one, start to consider thinking seriously about something the next step.

[Andrew Walsh]

You and I couldn't be wired more differently when it comes to, like, major purchases.

[Stephanie]

Especially major purchases. Exactly. And you've really tapped into something. You saying, well, let's see how much I use this, and then maybe I can build upon it. I do live like that, I think, because I never trust myself, especially if it's something that betters me in some way, like going on more bike rides. Like, I'm just like, yeah, we'll see. Or is it going to be like Bart Simpson's closet? I remember a joke early on in the Simpsons of Homer just saying, just throw it in the closet with your skis and your skateboard and everything. And then I think he's got a very fabulous quote about, like, if you try something and it doesn't work, just throw it back in the closet. It wasn't meant to be. But anyway, if this bike experience with you works out well, I might be interested in. Also, I know that you had some listeners warning you against that particular model of bike, but if it turns out that it's a good model for you, that would work for me because I will also say that these bikes. You've mentioned this on the show before. There's a spectrum, obviously, in the prices, and you did not go to the top of the market on these things. They can be so, so expensive. And of course I would. I live in a neighborhood where if I had a really, really expensive bike, I'd be too nervous to drive it any or to lock it up anywhere if I rode it somewhere. The fact that I call it driving a bike really means I'm not ready.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, honestly, the line's blurry because some of the more expensive ones we saw. I was in the Alberta arts district this weekend with Becca, and a guy came down the street on what was fully a moped. Although I think technically you would have called it an E bike. Like, it had pedals, but it was.

[Stephanie]

Like, mostly it's like thumb operated. That's what I wonder about some of these things. It's like, well, if the power comes from a switch at your thumb and the tires are the size of a motorcycle, it's still better than driving a car around.

[Andrew Walsh]

Absolutely.

[Stephanie]

But like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

So. So, yeah, to some degree, some of these things are kind of maybe more drivable than rideable. But. But yeah, I'm going to see how this goes and, and I'll report back because I'm excited about this. And now I just need the weather to cooperate because, like, it's. It's Frigid. That was the other thing that happened the other day. It was also cold when I rode, and immediately my eyes started watering. Not because of an emotional reaction to the bike, because it was just cold.

[Stephanie]

That's why you're embarrassed. You're like.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're just crying on the bike. My neighbors drive by me just weeping as I ride up the hill on sport mode. On the bike.

[Stephanie]

You know, just occurred to me. I am. I take back everything I just said about you needing to ride the bike a lot so that you can tell me whether or not it's worth buying. I need you to lose absolute all.

[Andrew Walsh]

Interest so you can buy it on the Burbank aftermarket.

[Stephanie]

Buy it real cheap off of you for a song. I was gonna say give it to me, but sure, I'll throw 20 bucks your way. What do you think? Sure.

[Andrew Walsh]

For the effort.

[Stephanie]

For the effort.

[Andrew Walsh]

We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle. On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set now. Ready, Ready, Go, everybody. Razzle dazzle. Hey, let's thank some dazzling donors. These folks are donating a dazzling amount of dough. They are keeping TBTL rolling.

[Stephanie]

I got a bicycle joke.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, actually, you know, I had a different intrusive thought. I had a dream last night.

[Stephanie]

Oh, yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

That just came back to me, and it was that for some reason, and this is. I should have known it was a dream right away because it's hyper unrealistic. I had a dream that somehow I got.

[Stephanie]

A dreamcatcher came to life.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'll allow it. I. The dream was that I somehow got an email to me sent to me each day of everyone who was stopping donating to the show.

[Stephanie]

Oh, my gosh.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like. And it didn't seem like a bad thing. It wasn't, like, hundreds of people, just, like, a person here or there. I think it's because of an offline conversation we've been having at TBT headquarters. But I'm just. Just coming back to me right now. The dream was that somehow I got. I would get this little, like, report sent to me, and it would be like, this person. This person is no longer donating. And this is why.

[Stephanie]

Mm.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I remember in the dream, I don't remember having a particularly strong reaction to it, just being like, well, this is useful information or something. But I forgot I had that dream last night. I forgot that I had it, and then I remembered it when I was looking at the first name on our dazzling donor list.

[Stephanie]

You know, me you got to be careful with dream talk with me, because I could go on forever. But I was putting silverware away in the drawer, I believe, yesterday or the day before. And suddenly, like a ton of bricks, a memory hit me from a dream, either the previous night or maybe even two nights prior, that I was going around the house and I found a whole cache of forks and silverware. Because here's the deal. The real life situation is sometimes, like, I don't really use the dishwasher. Genevieve does. And sometimes also Genevieve will, like, eat in a different room and leave dishes in there. And so it's not uncommon for me to open up the drawer and find I don't have a fork. And like, if I want a fork, then I gotta take a dirty ass fork out of the dirty ass dishwasher.

[Andrew Walsh]

And wash. Got a fork and wash it.

[Stephanie]

It's just like, it's not a nice way to start a meal, right? Like cleaning off crud that has been baking onto a. Or, you know, clinging to a fork for a few days in the dishwasher. Just the whole thing turns me off big time.

[Andrew Walsh]

Plus the smell of the dishwasher when you open it.

[Stephanie]

Great, I got to use this thing. Yeah, the dishwasher. I describe it not as a dishwasher, but a closet where Genevieve puts dirty dishes, where crud can get hard until I need it. But having said all of that, I had this dream that I was finding silverware all over the house. Like, oh, we're in great shape with silverware. And I totally forgot about this dream. Never thought about it again until two days later, potentially, where I'm putting away forks and all of a sudden, like, that's right. We found all those forks in the attic. Wait, that's right. We don't have an attic. That was a dream.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, that's what just happened to me. And thank goodness that list that I dreamed up of people who decided to not donate anymore does not include, yes, Nancy Rahr of Tacoma, Washington. Nancy says hi, Andrew and Luke. I can't believe I've been listening for 17 years. Wow, Nance.

[Stephanie]

Wow.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's pretty much.

[Stephanie]

And that's the entirety of the show.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's probably like, yeah, that's got to be day one, if not month one, maybe. You've been by my side through so many changes in my life, and even though I have often wanted to throw my phone out the window, Short People is a song about prejudice, for instance. You can easily look that up. My husband says that you guys say things wrong just to keep Us engaged. Would that we were that calculating. Nancy. Okay, so Nancy's point there is that when we go off on the Randy Newman song Short People, we're missing the meta commentary that it's. The song is. Is. Is making fun of people who. Who are prejudiced in some way or dismissive of people of short stature.

[Stephanie]

Yes. It was an examination of prejudice by, like, kind of picking another group of people and saying, wouldn't look how silly it is when we. When we say it like this.

[Andrew Walsh]

I. I believe that, and I don't believe, you know, I've got my Randy Newman story, which Randy Newman will always. I'll always have a soft spot for him because I once watched him play a concert to a totally disinterested group of morning show radio producers and hosts. And then he left the ballroom, he went into the kitchen, only to realize there wasn't an exit from the kitchen, so he had to wait in the kitchen until everybody left. So I've got a soft spot for Randy Newman. I guess I didn't know the meta. The meta statement of that song. Nancy says, you are radio pros, after all. You've always been a comfort. The tens are a big bonus. I wouldn't even say a bonus. I would say we are a big bonus. The tens. The community of tens is. The show is really the. It's the thing. It's the attraction. And then you've got us over here also doing our thing. Thank you for being my secret, sort of not really family. Love you all.

[Stephanie]

Ooh. I've always wanted to be part of a secret family.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know I never get to be a secret family.

[Stephanie]

I find that hard to believe. I believe you have.

[Andrew Walsh]

No. I have a secret family, but I.

[Stephanie]

Don'T get to be.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's. That's a totally different things. Andrew. I'm riding my bike over to visit my secret family.

[Stephanie]

You want to be. You don't want to start your own secret family. You have that. You want to be part of somebody else's secret family. Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, like just getting a call one day saying, hi, I'm your brother that you've never heard of, and we're part of a secret family across town. That would be spicy and dramatic. Anyway, Nancy, thank you for the support. Thanks for listening for all these years. And we will continue kind of weaving in annoying errors so that you will grab your phone so as to throw it and then stay engaged with what we're doing.

[Stephanie]

That's right, maestro.

[Andrew Walsh]

On your mark. On your mark. Get set, get set now. Ready?

[Stephanie]

Ready.

[Andrew Walsh]

Go, everybody.

[Stephanie]

This song is by Lil Uzi Vert, by the way. Look it up. It's surreal. It's a real fact.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. Where's the loozi? Vertically. I've been hearing about him in a while.

[Stephanie]

The last I heard him, he was.

[Andrew Walsh]

Having a. I think he had a diamond installed in the area between his eyebrows.

[Stephanie]

Yeah, that's right. That's right.

[Andrew Walsh]

That was the last move that we heard from him, I don't think, though.

[Stephanie]

I mean, I threw that out there. I was just trying to think of a random performer, but, like, I don't think I could name a song.

[Andrew Walsh]

I couldn't either. Yeah, I couldn't either. I mean, I just. There was a time where we were talking about him a lot. He was doing a lot of stuff. And then. And then. And then. Yeah, he was. He was. And I. If I remember right, I think that the. Initially, the diamond looked like it had been kind of misplaced. And I want to say he was saying it was just swelling. So everyone calmed down. This is going to settle in to be. Because, like, you know, it's a pretty intense body mod. It is to be slightly off.

[Stephanie]

Let me ask you a question. I am so sorry. This is just. The next dazzling donor message is pretty short. So.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sorry, Danny.

[Stephanie]

I'll keep. I'll keep this long. No, for a second, I got Lil Uzi Vert confused with who was the rapper that you were briefly obsessed with? I'm going to say about more than maybe five years ago now. Who had two songs I can think of, Broccoli and Cash Machine.

[Andrew Walsh]

Lil Yachty.

[Stephanie]

Lil. Yachty. So there was a Lil in there. That's why I was thinking, oh, yeah, okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was a. It was a wild time. A lot of Littles 2015. A lot of Lils.

[Stephanie]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm now looking up a GQ Australia story. The headline, whatever happened to Lil Uzi Vert's diamond? Little Uzi Vert says fans pulled his 30 million diamond out of his forehead at Rolling Loud. Did we talk about this, too? This is a while ago, by the way. This is. This is four years ago that this article was written. Lil Uzi Vert has been having a rough time with his forehead diamond. After making headlines in February by implanting a giant pink diamond into his forehead and telling the. And then pulling a magic trick by making it disappear in June, rapper Lil Uzi Vert has said the fans tried to rip it out of his forehead at Rolling Loud in Miami now. Yeah. Right. Let's see. After four months of sporting his New implant Uzi has moved on. Eagle eyed fans were quick to notice this week the rapper's head was diamondless. Yeah, Eagle eyed fans. Eagle eye. Hey, are you gonna be a real oriented person? Yeah, Right. And it raised a question. Can Uzi take the diamond out at will after sharing the diamond at the start of the year? Blah, blah, blah, whatever. The rapper told tmz, I had a show at Rolling Loud and I jumped into the crowd and they kind of ripped it out. He continued on to say that he still has the diamond. Can you imagine, Andrew, if the diamond went missing in the crowd at rolling $30 million. Also, listen, I guess I don't understand the economics of music because it's changing and, you know, with streamers, et cetera. Like, I. I find it amazing that Lil uzi Vert had 30 million extra dollars for this diamond.

[Stephanie]

Yeah, me too. I would actually.

[Andrew Walsh]

You wonder if maybe this wasn't a little bit of. Kind of a little bit of theatricality.

[Stephanie]

Yeah. Where do these numbers come from? You know, Are they inflated? Like, what? When you said, I don't know much about the business of music, I thought you're gonna say, I don't know much about the business of diamonds. Like, I'm not saying that there aren't.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's the only thing I know less about than the business of music.

[Stephanie]

And you've watched Uncut Gems at least four times, I believe.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's my. Honestly, it's My Happy Place. One of the most stressful movies made in the last 15 years is what I watched To Unwind.

[Stephanie]

Wow. Yeah. That does not seem like an unwinder to me. That's a movie that I enjoyed, but plan on only watching once in my life. But I like Gummo, so, you know, there's no.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think of it as a happy ending movie. Not to spoil the end of Uncut Jams, but I would just say that, you know, the last. Well, whatever. I'll spoil it. The. The idea that Adam Sandler's character, the literally the last thought that goes through his mind is, oh, my God, it worked. And then his life is over. And, you know, I, you know, people can interpret that however they want, but like that. As far as last thoughts, I'll take that. I hope my last thought is, oh, my God, that worked.

[Stephanie]

I mean, yeah, I guess, depending on context, certainly. Well, anyway, like, if you're trying to blow up my car, I don't want to get on board with your last thought being like, oh, great, it worked well.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I see. So you. You're Worried that the thing that might be at your expense.

[Stephanie]

Yeah, what are you cooking up that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is going to work? I painted the side of that, that, that brick wall to look like it had a tunnel going into it. And then I went through it and then Andrew ran right smack dab into the wall. Oh, great, that worked.

[Stephanie]

Did you see somebody on TikTok was like running experiments with that with, I think was it the, like the test, some sort of self driving car. And I believe it was, I think it was musk related, but basically paint, like did the Wile E. Coyote thing or maybe I guess it's the roadrunner thing. Who came up with that first?

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know if I think roadrunner is usually painting.

[Stephanie]

Okay, Wiley Coyote. No, that's an important, that's an important point. But anyway, if what I saw was, was correct, the cars fell for the painted tunnel in a brick wall, which would be a problem.

[Andrew Walsh]

That seems like a big issue. Hey, you know who our second dazzling donor is today is our friend Danny Koontz, who's out there in Little Rock, Arkansas. Now, I don't want to put Danny on Front street, but you know, Danny and I share, we share an appreciation for the games of chance and in fact, Danny and I will often debrief. I'll see him at some sort of a get together that's very far from Little Rock, Arkansas. I'll go, how is the trip out here? And he'll give me an update on the various casinos he visited on the way out. Stopped there, stopped there, had some fun there, had less fun there. It's a kind of if you know, you know, thing. It's a shared language among us, amongst us, among us, amongst us.

[Stephanie]

This is a random thought I could keep to myself, but I won't. It sort of reminds me of a thought that I had yesterday. I was listening to some sort of sports radio and people were just sort of like casually nerding out to what their favorite holes on various golf courses are. Oh yeah, I've never watched a golf. I guess it's called a match. What would you like? I've never watched a golfing event in my life. Yeah, I have no real interest in it, but just nobody was flexing. They were just, it was like, it was like the ultimate podcasting experience, right? Like I was listening to them just sort of nerd out about this hole and this hole and pebble beach and whatever. And I don't, I can't even picture these things. Even pebble beach, the famous one, Like I can't picture because I never watch it, but I loved it. And I just loved hearing them have, like, you know, strong, pleasant opinions about all the different golf, not even courses, but holes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I, I. There would be, like, maybe a couple of golf courses that I could have at one point in my life done that with. One would have been West Seattle, the public golf course in West Seattle. And the other would be maybe Jefferson on Beacon Hill. I played those a lot in my 20s and totally love that conversation of, like, oh, yeah, the 16th and it. Dog legs or. I always try to do this.

[Stephanie]

Yes, yes. You know, hearing them talk about it relaxed me.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm thinking of, you know, right after I burn out on my cycling phase. I'm thinking about there's a. There's a, like, a very affordable public golf course not far from me, and it could be a really nice little thing to go do some days, just as a way of unwinding to go hit some balls. And I'm thinking about trying to make that a thing.

[Stephanie]

I've never done that except for when I was a little kid.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's really fun. Addie and I went and did it a while ago, and again, like, I'm. I'm not qualified to be going to, like, a fancy golf course and, like, pebble beach and hitting balls, but I could go to, like, whatever the local one is here. By the way, Danny, our friend says thanks for continuing to entertain me every day. I look forward to the show to help take my mind whatever off of whatever the orange a hole has done.

[Stephanie]

And you clean. I'm going to say you clean that up a little bit. Are we talking about Chester Cheetah?

[Andrew Walsh]

It's not easy being cheesy, Andrew.

[Stephanie]

Seriously not.

[Andrew Walsh]

Daddy says shout out to all the other tens. Danny, we are very, very happy to be a distraction from what Chester Cheetah is doing, and we could not, could not do this without your help. So thanks, man. Really do appreciate you.

[Stephanie]

Far Guild.

[Andrew Walsh]

Far Guild takes a drag of a cigarette. It's been a long time since I heard that name.

[Stephanie]

I have a quick voice if you just want to get out of here on that. Let's do that. Why don't you hit the sound?

[Andrew Walsh]

Let's do that. Okay, I got the. The drop here. Here I go once again with the email.

[Stephanie]

Every week, I hope that it's from a female.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, man.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's not from a female. All right, we'll try to talk about Alexa tomorrow. And I will, actually. That'll give me time to try to do this change in my Settings, Andrew, that I tried to do this morning. Then I got too frustrated.

[Stephanie]

Yeah, I was doing a little reading about that this weekend, I think.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Stephanie]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's never good news, but anyway, maybe we'll get to that tomorrow. In the meantime, do we have any emails or V mail?

[Stephanie]

Yeah. Let me play this voicemail from our friend Stephanie, who wanted to weigh in on our conversation about checking the receipts at grocery stores. Oh, yeah. I think Costco is sort of its own thing. We got some emails from folks about that who have more information about Costco and what's going on when they're checking your receipts there. And sometimes they really are looking out for you, I guess, and making sure that you got all of your stuff. That's.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't want to take us. I don't want to take us on a toll. One of the emails I saw about that, I thought kind of basically the story was, I don't have it right in front of me, but the story was, this person's daughter, I believe, works at Costco and has for some time and was once sent out to receipt duty and basically found that somebody hadn't been charged for something. Not that somebody was stealing something, but that something had had been undercharged. And then she realized she was also the cashier. Like, she was checking people out. And then there was, like, an emergency call that was like, go. Go down to the receipt place and check receipts. And when the person. So she somehow checked these people out and then got ahead of them, these customers, to go get her to go check receipts and realize that a checker had not been thorough enough with the stuff. And that checker was her.

[Stephanie]

Oh, I don't know if I saw that story. I know I'd heard from some friends, I think, who. From listener Nate, texting me and said that, like, they had worked there. And a big part of it was, like, making sure that people were like, there are certain things you buy at Costco that you just. You pick up, like, a cardboard thing out on the floor somewhere. And like, I did this with Mariners tickets once. Like, there aren't actual tickets out on the Costco floor. You pick up this cardboard thing that represents the tickets, and then you're supposed to go to the cashier and they talk to somebody else and they bring you the actual tickets or whatever. Supposedly, like, kind of making sure the customers have that. That might be a part of it as well. That's what I've heard. Anyway, I would. That's kind of a distraction because I don't think Stephanie is Talking about Costco here. She's just talking about something that, like, I've experienced in the grocery store I've been going to for a long time. They've recently instituted a new policy where they have security at the exits, and they just quickly look at your receipts. And often they wave me through, too. Did I already tell you the story on this show? I know I told several people that the other day. I was. I'm sure I told you this story because it's grocery store related. I was leaving, and the guy checks, and he was very, very friendly. And we're having pleasantries while he checks my receipt. And then he says as I walk away, he's like, where are all your groceries? And I'm like, oh, I left him back. The thing. He's doing the opposite of his job. He's supposed to be loss prevention, but inst. He's preventing me from losing my groceries, which I left back at the cashier. But anyway, Stephanie just wanted to weigh in on that kind of conversation that we've been having.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, wow, that beep was so loud. Sorry. Hey, it's Stephanie in Portland with super cute baby August.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Now 17 whole months and super, super, super cute. You guys are talking about groceries, receipts, and, like, checking on the way out. And I just wanted to say that they do it at our local Freddy's too now, which is owned by Kroger. And I'm kind of not annoyed, but kind of annoyed because they don't always check their receipts. Like, I'm. I'm down for it. That's fine. It's not like, that big of a hassle as long as it doesn't create, like, huge backlog getting out of the store. But check everyone's receipts. You know, I was there with my baby and my husband, and, you know, the baby was being erratic while my husband was kind of doing something. And the security guard, or whatever you call him was kind of, like, entertaining my son a little bit. And, you know, so we had a pretty, like, good, like, rapport going with him. But we did purchase things, and on the way out, he just kind of, like, waved us out. And I was just like, just because I have a baby doesn't mean I can't steal things, you know, like, you should check everyone's receipts. On that note, if you want to get away with crim, also known as crime, I guess, bring a baby with you, but don't do that. I don't support crime. I'm so sorry. Oh, God. Okay, bye. Bye.

[Andrew Walsh]

So that was exactly where my mind went before Stephanie clarified, I thought, well, okay, get.

[Stephanie]

Get a baby.

[Andrew Walsh]

Step one, get a baby.

[Stephanie]

Get a baby by any means, especially.

[Andrew Walsh]

A very cute baby like Augie. And distract those security folks.

[Stephanie]

Yeah, that's. That is something that I think about, like, now that. Because I. This grocery store I'm talking about, I go to it almost exactly once a week. I go to it as part of my kind of my Sunday travels, as part of my Sunday routine. On the way home on Sunday, I always stop at this Roosevelt Safeway, and they have, as I mentioned, recently instituted the security policy, as well as some, like, kind of security gates when you first walk through. And, you know, I think that that's all, you know, none of it gets in my way as a shopper, so I'm fine with that. And I. Like I said on the show, like, I wouldn't particularly want people stealing from me if I had a whole bunch of stuff. You know what I mean? So it's like, yeah, okay. But I do always wonder, because they often will just wave me through. There was a woman there the other day. She just waved me through. I'm like, okay, well, you're kind of, like, looking me up and down. You're assessing me. Like, is part of this institutional racism.

[Andrew Walsh]

Or class referendum on your. On how they perceive you is how I always think about it when I'm approaching that kind of a thing.

[Stephanie]

And, I mean, since we're just here anyway. I don't know if this makes the conversation more awkward, but, like, to a person. Every security person that I've seen in this store has been a person of color as well, by the way. And, like, you know, and so whether they're checking my receipt or waving me through, I'm always kind of like, well, how are you? How are you making this decision? And it's definitely not, like, just some white guy looking at me and saying, well, you're a white guy, so you're cool, or whatever. So I'm not. I don't know if I'm just making the conversation awkward, but these are thoughts that sort of go through my head, like they're assessing me in some way. Right. And what is that assessment? And really, is it about checking receipts or. And I still think this is the thing. I think it's just more about the presence of the person there and the policy of checking receipts so that if you do see somebody who's walking out and it looks like they're working wearing jodhpurs, it's probably because they have a bottle of A magnum of champagne in each pocket. Or is it a magnum of champagne? Yeah. Then like, it makes sense, like, oh, okay, I'm going to stop you. I'm stopping everybody here. Let's see your receipt. And also, sir, unless you're going horseback riding later, I think we're going to need to see what's in there. Like, I think it's just the presence and the process and they're just making, you know, I guess, kind of decisions based on the fact that it doesn't really look like I got something under my pea coat.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, yes. I'll tell you the thing that I don't particularly enjoy, which is thankfully not the case in the couple of Safeways that I now go to. But when I was living in Portland and I lived in an area that was sort of. It was kind of hit and miss in terms of the, kind of the, the economics, I guess you could say, of the folks in the neighborhood. There were some people that lived in nice houses. There were some people who were unhoused. There were some people who were probably dealing with addiction issues, etc. So that Safeway was pretty locked down and they had that whole inner sanctum where like, I just wanted to get some razors.

[Stephanie]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

And like, I have to go to like a store within the store.

[Stephanie]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Where that. Where I then have to wait in this weirdly long line. And like, deodorant was in there too. Except if I remember right, I think razors I might have. I don't know if I could even gotten the razors or if I got a picture of some razors.

[Stephanie]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

I just remember being in this like, extra security zone in the interior of the store and just being like, I don't like this because I don't care how much people are stealing razors from Kroger. This is a way of Safeway getting away with making my life work as a customer way worse. But blaming it on somebody who they're othering, which is this bogey man of a. A person who's stealing. That was my feeling. Like now I guess I can, I can choose to not go to that safe way. But I feel, I mean, we talked about this a lot a while ago when this was really going down with like, stores not having a lot of stuff on the shelves. Like, I think it's. I think it's still pretty up for debate how bad of a problem theft really is in these stores. And I think it's one of these things where they've got this, like, they have this consequence free Environment where they can just make us do any old bullshit as the customers and they can blame it on crime, and we have no way of verifying that. Like. And it, it does. I'm sure it cuts down on theft. I'm sure it absolutely does. But could they also absorb a certain amount of shrinkage, if you will? Could they absorb a certain amount of threat and have it so I don't have to go into Fort Knox to get some Gillette Mach Fives? Like, that's where I. And you know me, I'm just like, I'm inherently and eternally suspicious of companies when they do something that they claim is either for your benefit as the customer or because they have no other choice. I think anytime they see an opening where they can just like, oh, this will reduce theft and yes, it will make the customers lives worse, but we've made such a stink about this that we can get away with it. That always gets on my nerves, Especially.

[Stephanie]

If it gets in your way or if it, if it, if it's somehow impacts your convenience. And I'm not saying that to be a jerk. I'm just saying that that is especially when it strikes you, when it. Whether it's like towels in a hotel and, you know, it makes it more inconvenient for you to try to get a fresh towel because they're claiming that it's, you know, a green policy. And I know that that's not new news now, but I hear you. And I mean, listen, we actually got to get out of here. I know that you're trying to get out of here, and we have a meeting coming up, so this is probably not the right time to have the conversation, but it is complicated. It's also especially complicated when you're talking about grocery stores. Now, you mentioned products within a grocery store that aren't necessarily, you know, needed for survival, like razor blades. I mean, it's not literally a life or death thing, but it is true that when people are stealing food, you think, well, Jesus, Louise, we're living in a society where somebody needs food. I don't think people are buying food so that they can sell it on ebay or sell it to somebody else to retail.

[Andrew Walsh]

You mean stealing food?

[Stephanie]

What did I say?

[Andrew Walsh]

You said buying food.

[Stephanie]

Oh, sorry. I meant stealing food. Yeah, so I think there's some, you know, some moral and ethical conversations to have around that. But then on the other hand, though, like, I don't leave my doors unlocked. Like, I have a lot of compassion for people who need food and also need things to live. And I also, in this conversation, don't want to downplay the importance of razor blades for somebody who's trying to live a somewhat normal life, but is also absolutely poor and may not even have a roof over their head, but might want to apply for a job. Razors could be. You know, I'm sort of backtracking what I said before, but there's a situation where razor blades could be very, very important for a certain kind of survival. So, like, I don't want to downplay that or make it sound like I am not sympathetic to that. But on the other hand, I'm also somebody who says, well, like, if somebody came into my house at night and took all the food out of my refrigerator, I would. Refrigerator, microwave. I would have some feelings about that. And I would feel like invaded, obviously, as well. So anyway, so when I say I understand, like, if a store says we can't be a. We can't be a profitable store and we want to stay in this area, so we're going to put in some gates and some security guards, it's not really getting my way too much as a shopper. I'm like, well, yeah, you're trying to not, you know, not. Not have stuff stolen from you, I don't think. I don't want things stolen from me either. So I don't.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't get a good feeling if I'm at a store and I've seen it a time or two. Not that much. I don't get a good feeling at the idea of people just like, grabbing a bunch of things and walking out of the store with impunity. It does feel like some part of the social order is breaking down when that happens. I don't love that experience. I think you're right, though. I think that the larger issue is that we live in a society that is so inequitable.

[Stephanie]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

And there's so much money concentrated with so few people and companies that it should not be the case that people have to shoplift razor blades. And that's not an excuse. You shouldn't steal stuff from the store. But there's a macro issue. And then we're just talking about the micro expression of that.

[Stephanie]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I think that macro issue is huge. And I think we know the answer. Andrew, you and I need to buy a razor blade factory in Germany.

[Stephanie]

We have to. There's got to be a better way.

[Andrew Walsh]

There's got to be a better way, man. We'll buy a factory in Germany and we'll start selling razors. At a reasonable price to everybody.

[Stephanie]

So what a, what a, what a delightful voicemail that led to a very serious conversation about the woes of the world and the robbery. Yes. All right.

[Andrew Walsh]

I can't wait to visit Woes Hollow. I can't until I get done with all my work on Livewire and the CBS story. But, like, people are hitting me up, like, hey, are you up to speed on White Lotus? Are you up to speed on Severance? I'm like, no, I got work to do. I, I want to go back to. I want to go back to getting to watch, even though I'm kind of annoyed with it. I want to go back to watching Severance.

[Stephanie]

White Lotus, man, you have not seen I haven't had a chance behind on Severance now. Right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Am I too.

[Stephanie]

I'm not sure. I can't remember.

[Andrew Walsh]

The last one I saw was Patricia Arquette.

[Stephanie]

Oh, yeah, you saw that one driving.

[Andrew Walsh]

Around in her VW Rabbit.

[Stephanie]

Yes. Okay, so you're only one behind. I the more I hear about that episode, I guess I'm the only person in America who loved the salt snack episode.

[Andrew Walsh]

Anyway, looking forward to that very soon. In the meantime, that is going to do it for today's show, but we will be right back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for all of you. So please do join us. In the meantime, have a great Wednesday. Take care of yourselves and please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Stephanie]

And good luck to all. Power out.