#4441 Mother Tootin’ Son Of A Biscuit!

Summary

TBTL Podcast Episode #4441: "Mother Tootin’ Son Of A Biscuit!"

Release Date: April 9, 2025
Hosts: Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh
Description: In this episode of "Too Beautiful To Live" (TBTL), co-hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh navigate through a series of personal anecdotes, home improvement projects, listener interactions, and topical discussions with their characteristic humor and candidness.

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1. Opening Banter and Personal Interactions (00:00 - 02:40)

The episode kicks off with a humorous exchange between Luke and Andrew about the quality of Andrew’s cooking, setting a lighthearted tone. They joke about neighbors possibly misusing garbage bins, intertwining personal life with playful skepticism.

Notable Quotes:

• Luke Burbank [00:01]: “Dad, the rice is perfect. I mean, it's moist, it's perfectly cooked. You timed it right.”
• Andrew Walsh [00:57]: “Except celery is pretty much bull. Don't even bother with it.”

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2. Andrew’s Flooring Project and Sales Experience (02:41 - 19:12)

A significant portion of the episode delves into Andrew’s ongoing project to replace his basement’s low-quality carpeting. He narrates his encounter with a flooring salesman who exhibits high-pressure sales tactics, aiming to secure a quick commitment. Andrew shares his frustrations with the salesman’s attempts to rush the decision, including false claims about e-signature capabilities and sudden price hikes.

Key Points:

• Project Background: Andrew and his partner, Genevieve, aim to upgrade their basement flooring from subpar carpet to more durable vinyl and area rugs.
• Sales Tactics Critique: Andrew criticizes the salesman for creating artificial urgency and attempting to lock them into a contract without proper consideration.
• Ethical Sales Practices: The hosts discuss the importance of honesty and transparency in sales, contrasting Andrew’s experience with ideal sales behavior.

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Walsh [04:33]: “I felt like he could talk himself out of a cell because I don't know exactly where we're going to end up yet.”
• Luke Burbank [08:49]: “But let me ask you, Andrew, are you in luck? Because right now they're running a special on something.”
• Andrew Walsh [14:28]: “It's like, this isn't going to work for me. Good luck with everything.”

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3. Rants and Raves Segment: Listener Feedback and Discussions (19:13 - 46:20)

The hosts transition to discussing the Seattle Times’ "Rants and Raves" column, sharing their opinions on various reader submissions. They express particular interest and amusement at comments about electric dirt bikes in pedestrian areas and the antics of TV news reporters gesticulating excessively.

Key Points:

• Dirt Bikes in Pedestrian Areas: Both hosts agree with the reader’s frustration over electric dirt bikes violating pedestrian zones, highlighting safety concerns.
• TV News Reporter Behavior: They critique a rant about TV news reporters overusing hand gestures, debating the fairness and practicality of such complaints.

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Walsh [29:37]: “I was not happy about. So I agree with that rant.”
• Luke Burbank [48:12]: “And perhaps you are better suited for radio or print media.”

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4. Listener Donations and Acknowledgments (46:21 - 54:04)

The episode features heartfelt thanks to donors who support the show. Listeners like Max McDaniel from Seattle share personal stories of how TBTL provided comfort during tough times. The hosts also acknowledge contributions from Dr. Katie Broussard, a naturopath, and engage in light-hearted banter about pronunciation and cultural references.

Key Points:

• Max McDaniel’s Story: Max recounts losing his job and finding solace in TBTL, eventually securing a new position and choosing to support the show.
• Dr. Katie Broussard’s Contribution: Dr. Katie integrates professional services and personal anecdotes, adding diversity to the donation acknowledgments.

Notable Quotes:

• Max McDaniel [40:08]: “I found myself eagerly awaiting the early afternoon push notifications letting me know my friendos were ready to talk at me.”
• Luke Burbank [40:21]: “Max, anything that I have dropped the ball on, I'm probably going to continue dropping the ball on.”

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5. Personal Anecdotes: Cooking and Family Habits (54:05 - 68:34)

Luke shares stories about cooking for his parents and the humorous challenges that arise, such as his father’s penchant for snacking on Cheez-Its during meals. These anecdotes highlight the everyday dynamics and quirks within their families, punctuated by laughter and relatable situations.

Key Points:

• Cooking Challenges: Luke describes preparing meals while dealing with his parents’ unexpected snack habits, leading to playful reprimands.
• Family Food Preferences: The hosts explore their parents' unusual snacking choices, emphasizing generational differences in dietary habits.

Notable Quotes:

• Luke Burbank [61:06]: “Are you insane? Are you five? Like, who's eating white cheddar Cheez-Its at dinner time when someone is clearly putting the dinner on the plate to bring over to you?”
• Andrew Walsh [62:00]: “I'm doing intermittent fasting right now. So I only had like some ice cream and now I won't eat again until tomorrow night.”

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6. Current Events and Offbeat Topics:

a. YouTuber’s Imprisonment on North Sentinel Island (68:35 - 75:55):

The hosts discuss the arrest of Mikhailo Polyakov, an American YouTuber who attempted to contact the remote Sentinelese tribe in India’s North Sentinel Island. They examine the implications of his actions, the dangers involved, and the lack of governmental intervention to protect both the tribe and unwitting visitors.

Notable Quotes:

• Luke Burbank [75:03]: “He went out to the island and he made apparently a YouTube video. And he was standing on the beach blowing a whistle, trying to get this tribe to come out.”
• Andrew Walsh [68:19]: “I think it just seems to be the case that if you get murdered at this place, that's gonna be on you.”

b. TV Sports Broadcaster’s Intermittent Fasting (75:56 - 78:19):

Andrew and Luke critique Dave Valley, a Mariners color commentator, for his promotion of a strict intermittent fasting regimen during a game broadcast. They debate the appropriateness of giving dietary advice in a sports context and express concern over the potential influence on listeners.

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Walsh [75:55]: “This section of the thing that went on for what seemed like a long time about, like, just telling people not to eat for four days and you'll find yourself incredibly focused and energized was really a trip.”
• Luke Burbank [78:34]: “You could probably get from not eating for four days, because what are you not eating? Carbs.”

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7. Traffic and Commuting: Hot Lanes vs. HOV Lanes (78:20 - 84:00)

The hosts address listener inquiries regarding the usage and enforcement of hot lanes versus High-Occupancy Vehicle (HOV) lanes. They explain the functionality of Flex Passes, which allow drivers to toggle between HOV and solo driving modes by adjusting a slider, thereby paying tolls as necessary.

Key Points:

• Flex Pass Mechanics: Explanation of how Flex Passes operate, allowing drivers with single occupancy to use HOV lanes by paying applicable tolls.
• Listener Interaction: Addressing confusion among listeners about camera enforcement and the practicality of using Flex Passes correctly.

Notable Quotes:

• Stephen (Listener) [70:12]: “Anyone can use the hot lanes and pay the tolls, be it with a good to go pass or by photo mail.”
• Andrew Walsh [72:36]: “It's a slick little thing that you can move over when you have multiple people in your car.”

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8. Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts (84:01 - End)

As the episode wraps up, Luke reflects on the day's discussions, reiterating the importance of thoughtful consumption of advice from public figures and sharing personal resolutions on managing household dynamics. The hosts encourage listeners to engage with the show and continue supporting the TBTL community.

Notable Quotes:

• Luke Burbank [84:00]: “We will be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for all of you. So we hope you can join us for that.”
• Andrew Walsh [84:00]: “Please remember, no mountain too tall, and good luck to all.”

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Conclusion

Episode #4441 of TBTL: "Mother Tootin’ Son Of A Biscuit!" offers a blend of personal storytelling, critical discussions on sales ethics, listener interactions, and commentary on current events. Luke and Andrew maintain their signature humor and conversational style, making the episode both entertaining and insightful for listeners seeking a blend of daily life anecdotes and thoughtful discourse.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

Dad, the rice. You have really outdone yourself. The rice is great.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, thanks, man. That. That. You know what, that means a lot to me when you.

[Luke Burbank]

Dad, the rice is perfect. I mean, it's moist, it's perfectly cooked. You timed it right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Uh huh.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. So tender.

[Andrew Walsh]

But it's not mushy.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, it yields to the bite, but not without a little struggle, you know, I mean, you gotta still open.

[Andrew Walsh]

Your mouth and chew it.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not that. It just goes right in.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, it's not gonna bite itself.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I know what you're saying.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And you know, I've noticed lately that you've been drinking more than usual, you know, is there. I'm wondering if that's a problem or.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think the problem is you've been noticing it more. Tbtl. I feel so full of. What's the opposite of shame? Pride. No, not that far from shame.

[Luke Burbank]

Less shame.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Tell me an opinion that you have about something.

[Luke Burbank]

Just one opinion that you have about anything at all. Just share an opinion. Anything. Share an opinion.

[Andrew Walsh]

Share an opinion.

[Luke Burbank]

Share an opinion. Share an opinion.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right now, just off the top of.

[Luke Burbank]

Your head, Share an opinion. Anything. Try everything once.

[Andrew Walsh]

Except celery is pretty much bull. Don't even bother with it.

[Luke Burbank]

Big waste of time. Hey, you sound like you might be a little bit jealous, babe. You know, and I. I know a little something about being jealous because people have been jealous of me my entire life. Were you just using a synthesizer? Nope. So you mean to tell me that all of those sounds were coming from your body? Yup. I'm the president of rap music and I need to work with you right away. All right. Hello, good morning and welcome everyone to a Wednesday edition of TBTL show that just might be too beautiful to live. This is so boring and forever taking. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. I'm gonna get all anecdotal on you. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio perched high above the mighty Columbia, where we are getting a break in the torrential rain. Oh, Ma Pa. It's just beautiful. Thank goodness. It has been rough the last few days. Today though, looking pretty nice. We're going to take advantage of it. But not before bringing you episode 4401 in a collector series, Let the fun begin. By the way, this is also taking advantage of the nice weather. I didn't mean like I got to just get through through this before I can get out to, you know, doing yard work or something. This is my primary job, is co hosting this show. And I want everyone to understand that I take this very seriously, my friends. I also take it very seriously when an American YouTuber decides to find a very, very infrequently contacted tribe of folks on an island near India.

[Andrew Walsh]

You gotta be kidding me.

[Luke Burbank]

And leave them a Diet Coke can. He's in jail somewhere near there. We'll talk about that. Also, I have bad news, folks. I've been reading the Seattle Times rants and raves column again today. Gotta do it again right now. And I've got thoughts. I know we did this on the show yesterday, but we're gonna do it again on the show today, and we're gonna talk to this guy, the longest running cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my God.

[Luke Burbank]

He admitted he is Andrew Walsh. He's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning, Luke. I just remembered something that I've been wanting to tell you about. I'm gonna start with a question.

[Luke Burbank]

Mm.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you ever have a conversation that seems generally okay in the moment, but the more you think about it over hours and days, it bothers you more and more? And you're kind of offended a little bit by that conversation or something the other person said.

[Luke Burbank]

I really want to be. Yes. And here. But I have to be honest and say for all of the things about my brain that are out of my control, ruminating on conversations is not one of them. Maybe I should do it more. It probably would make me a more likable person. But I don't tend to go back and I mean, that's not true. I'm nursing something I can talk about with you. I'm nursing an email that I sent on the later side last night to somebody that was going to do some work here at my house that I maybe think I could have handled better. But does that count?

[Andrew Walsh]

Sort of. That sounds like you're a little bit concerned about what you wrote.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. You're talking about the opposite. You're more annoyed at the person you were dealing with.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. So the reason I bring it up is the person.

[Luke Burbank]

Me.

[Andrew Walsh]

You said something yesterday that pissed me off so bad. No. Veeves and I. Genevieve has my partner in. In life and all. Things are getting new flooring in our basement. We knew this was going to happen at some point and we finally started. We've been talking about it almost as soon as we moved in here. They put down whoever sold the house, put down new carpeting wall to wall in the basement here when we first moved in. And it's not very quality carpeting. So in all the high traffic areas, it's already showing its age, and it's only three years old. And it just has sort of a cheap feel to it. So it is a basement. We're not gonna be able to get really expensive flooring or anything. I think we're gonna get something that is kind of vinyl, but hopefully doesn't look too bad. And then we're gonna get some big area rugs. But, you know, it's a big project. We've been saying it's one of the things on our big project list for a while. Genevieve says the other day, hey, you know what? I just want to get the ball rolling on this a little bit. Let's just get our first quote. So on Saturday, she calls a company, which I can't remember the name of it off the top of my head, but maybe that's kind of good. I don't have to get into all the details, but it's like a. It's a. It's an actual company. It's not like, I believe it's kind of a. A chain type of thing. They have. They have corporate offices, let me put it that way. Right. But it was not. It was not some flooring company that I was familiar with or that, like, I see a lot of advertisements for or anything.

[Luke Burbank]

It wasn't Empire, was it? Empire.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know what? It might have been actually in the.

[Luke Burbank]

Cartoon of the guy, he. He. He basically takes the edge of the floor and he rings it like he's running out a rug, but it puts a whole new floor down. It's a very effective commercial.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's very interesting when Genevieve. I think it might have been Empire, because I remember Genevieve saying the name of the company to me, and me thinking of that jingle, but for some reason not thinking it was the same place. I don't know why this is so dumb, but you're just sort of shaking that realization from me that, yeah, that is the same place with the jingle. I think that might be the place. But considering what I'm about to say here, let's just say it's not the place. Who needs slander? Who needs people to think I'm talking.

[Luke Burbank]

About Inland Empire flooring, which is a much. It's dark. I'm still thinking about it years after seeing it.

[Andrew Walsh]

So anyway, Genevieve says, you know, let's just begin to kick the tires on this thing, right? Let's just have somebody come out, show us some samples, get a ballpark estimate of what it would take to get everything tiled and like. Or not tiled, but everything floored. And then, like, we had the idea. I was like, well, it would be. Maybe this was Genevieve's idea to actually. You put maybe some nicer flooring in my bathroom. Like, maybe actual tile. Do we do the stairs? Do we not? These are questions. And again, for two, three years now, we've been knowing this is a project we've wanted to do. Genevieve's like, well, let's just start the ball rolling somewhere. So on Saturday. So, again, this is one of those things where it's been several days. A fella comes out, and he's a salesperson, and he is all of the essence of every Stephen Tobolowski character ever created. You know what I mean? He's like.

[Luke Burbank]

He's all rolled into one. He's just like Ned Needlenose Ryerson meets Stanley Jenkins meets the.

[Andrew Walsh]

The. The. The corporate guy in.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, in Silicon Valley.

[Andrew Walsh]

Silicon Valley. And, like, he's like. He's. He's got that embodiment. So you can sort of picture him if I just say a Stephen Tobolowski type of guy, glasses, whatever, and just so nice and so nerdy and coming in here, but immediately, like, kind of saying that we just were straight shooters. I love my job, I love my company. And just, like, really laying on the. Almost. Almost to. Yeah. No, I wouldn't even say almost, but, like, to a degree of, like, cringiness, sort of. But it's a charming cringiness. It's, you know, he's definitely a salesman, but he's kind of like, Yep. I just. I love this. Just a lot of how much he loves his work.

[Luke Burbank]

Loves this kind of, you know, do what you love. You'll never work a day. I can't believe they pay me for this.

[Andrew Walsh]

Kind of. That. And also just kind of like. And that's why I love working with this company, is we're not going to, like, mess around with you or just, you know, like, we're going to tell this to you straight and that.

[Luke Burbank]

And, like, here's how the process works. A cartoon shows up, grabs the edge of your flooring.

[Andrew Walsh]

We have the best installers. Sometimes people confuse them with the general. Sometimes during peak seasons, if you see.

[Luke Burbank]

A diminutive general with Shaq, that's a different company.

[Andrew Walsh]

But sometimes they do collaborate during the peak season. So anyway, he's kind of got that whole thing. He's bringing in samples. He's giving us a quote for the whole job. He's doing everything he should. Honestly, the samples. I mean, what we're looking at.

[Luke Burbank]

But let me ask you, Andrew, are you in luck? Because right now they're running a special on something.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, of course there's some sort of deal. No way.

[Luke Burbank]

Are you kidding me? That happened for you?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, you obviously have been doing a lot of, you know, remodeling, so you're. That's the only way you could have known that. I guess because you realize that it's. Yeah. It's early April, so it's the special deal time. And. And again, like, I gotta say, I tend. As opposed to somebody who would have come in and maybe. Maybe been more reticent. Although I guess that person would have been a bad salesperson. Like I'm kind of. I appreciate it and I'm kind of believing it. I believe that he. Maybe not the hey, this deal only lasts for this period of time shtick, but like the whole kind of like we asked him about, like, well, what if we want to get tile in the bathroom? He says, you can do that more affordably somewhere else. Honestly, tile is not exactly what we're going to do the best for us.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a nice bit of honesty.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. We said, what about the stairs? He's like, that's going to add like just the stairs alone is going to be a grand because stairs are just more complicated to do. If I were you, I would like. So he's definitely not upselling. You know what I mean? He's saying what we're going to do. And so like. And I'm buying that. And again, the interaction was good. He's bringing in flooring samples. Honestly, out of the whatever two dozen or so that we look at, only I told these. I'm like, really? There's only one of these that I think I could live with. The rest are just a little bit too cheapy looking and of the. Of the era. Cheap looking.

[Luke Burbank]

And you're not going with something gray, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, that's exactly it. So many of them are that like fake gray wood or whatever.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a real heartbreak in the. In the apartment rental market.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. Or something. So. And I think maybe I'm reacting to it because that's what's currently in my bathroom in this tiny little kitchenette area. Both of which are kind of like, you know, they're both basement properties. Let's just put it that way. There. There's something about the.

[Luke Burbank]

One of my favorite HGTV shows.

[Andrew Walsh]

There's something about the flooring in my bathroom that I just sort of found find deeply depressing and Then I went to my cheap barber shop the other day and I saw that they had the same flooring. And I was like, yeah, there's just something. It's like the equivalent of fluorescent lighting or something. I can't explain it. It's a little soul quality. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

It was this thing that felt like you were doing something that was a little bit elevated, like it was a little bit. It had a moment and then everybody unknowingly embraced it. That is this kind of gray engineered flooring. And everybody put it in everywhere and everybody flipping homes, put it in. And now we're all gonna be. It's like a microplastic. We're all gonna live with it. It's gonna be in our body for the next generation.

[Andrew Walsh]

And now the thing is, again, because of the, because of the considerations that were in a basement anyway, like, we can't put down really good flooring anyway. You need something that's going to be waterproof. We've already had a flood here. We need something that is going to be, you know, high traction. Like we have to make. And we're not billionaires, right. So we're going to have to make some concessions about like what we need, what we can afford and what we're going to do. So we are still looking at sort of that, that material of flooring.

[Luke Burbank]

Sort of something that looks engineered stuff that's totally fine. It's just. I would just go away from gray, which I don't think you need convincing on that.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I didn't even that. I don't think I'd had this conversation with you or anybody before, with maybe the exception of Genevieve. And now I feel bad if people are like looking down at their floors and being like, I like my gray flooring. Like that's, yes, that's fine.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely love it.

[Andrew Walsh]

But for me, I'm just like, I just don't. If we're going to do this whole project, I just kind of like, well, I don't want to be looking down at this a year or two years from now and just being like, I feel the way about this flooring as I do now in 2025, you know, which is that it's just sort of generic or whatever. So all of that is to say there's one sample that I like. It's just a, you know, it's not too dark, it's not too gray. It's like a wood colored. And V's. I'm like, yeah, I mean, if we can definitely get that one. And then it's A little bit of a question of, like, okay, as long as we can, you know, we should make sure to get this project rolling sooner rather than later so that we make sure that we can keep that in stock. Like, okay. The guy is really friendly. Keeps going out to his truck, bringing back more samples. He's just so friendly in every way. And he keeps going out to his truck.

[Luke Burbank]

When he comes back in, he smells vaguely of weed.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's just. He's. He's more like kind of. He's got a lot more energy. When he comes back from his truck, he's got all this energy. I got this deal for you. And anyway, no, he's. He's great. And then at the end, he's like, okay. And he's still, like, doing his whole character thing, but he keeps saying, like, okay, now, I'm not a car salesman here. I'm not trying to be a car salesman. Just so you know, we do have this. You know, we got to get this in for this. This deal that's happening right now or whatever. And so what we would need is if I can just get you guys to sign today. And all we need is half of the quote up front right now, which is, you know, like, a few grand or whatever. And we're like, oh, no, sorry. Like. And I'm kind of. To be honest with you, this is where I'm such a bad partner. Like, I'm in the basement, and I'm, like, going out and having conversations with them, but I'm also coming into my studio and hooking up my new audio board or my temporary audiobook.

[Luke Burbank]

So you're kind of dipping in?

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm kind of dipping in and dipping out. I'm listening to the whole thing and. But it's kind of Genevieve's. You know, Genevieve's the boss on this kind of stuff. In a good way. I'm supportive, and I have opinions, but I'm also, you know, just kind of, like, kind of keeping an ear on things. And all of a sudden, I hear him saying about, you know, talking about getting a signature today and putting half up. And Genevieve is like, oh, well, that wasn't what we're kind of planning on doing. You know, this is just our first quote. And then he's kind of like, well, then he starts, like, saying. He says several times like, I'm not trying to be a car salesman here. Not trying to be a used car salesman here. But then, like, continues this, like, well.

[Luke Burbank]

He says, what's it going to take to get you into this Toyota Tercel.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. He keeps saying, like, well, you know, you sign now. If it doesn't work out, you have a month. We can tear up the contract, whatever. And we're just like, well, we have a month. Like, we don't. And eventually I come out of my office and I'm just kind of like, you know, and I'm talking and engaging, and I don't, like, leap out of my office and say, jacques. But I'm kind of like, you know, this isn't.

[Luke Burbank]

Was there chest bumping?

[Andrew Walsh]

And there was some chest bumping. I was like, you know, this just isn't where we are in the process right now. Like, we had absolutely no intention of locking into anything today or certainly, you know, you know, signing any money over. And he's like, yeah, no, totally fair, Totally fair. It's just that. And it's always like, he's just constantly has this. It's just that thing.

[Luke Burbank]

And in the moment, he's trained to not leave your house without the signature.

[Andrew Walsh]

Without that, and have the money. And in the moment, I'm kind of like, wow, this is stranger than I expected it to be. This. I'm sort of just experiencing it. Like, wow, this is really strange and. Or somewhat strange maybe, is how I'm feeling in the moment. But I'm like, yeah, I mean, I guess what he's saying is making sense. But then I'm like, well, no, no, we're not handing money over. Like, we've seen one guy's samples. We've gotten one quote. And then. And I just kind of said, listen, that's not where we are. And then he gives this excuse, like, well, you know, I could come back with the. Genevieve says something like, but isn't the quote you just gave us good for 30 days or something? And I do think that Genevieve was a little bit more open to just signing something. I could be wrong about that. She's not here. But I think that she was more open to it. And I kind of came out, and I'm like, what's going on here? And not in a way that made anybody feel awkward or that, like, I'm the. You know, like, I'm swinging in, like, to regulate or anything. But I was just kinda like, what? And she's like, isn't the quote good for 30 days? He's like, yeah, the quote is good for 30 days, but, you know, I'm out in Woodinville. That means I'd have to come back in here. And Veeva's like, well, couldn't we do an E signature. No, we don't have E signatures. And the more I'm thinking about this, where it's like, you don't do E signature. So eventually, and I just said, not something I've talked about on the show a lot. I'm like, listen, we have a cat upstairs who is literally dying. That's something the listeners don't know. But, you know, we have a cat who's in her last days. Turns out she has cancer. We don't know if it's going to be weeks or months, but we just have a lot on our plate. We're living in a house right now where we're keeping one cat downstairs, one cat upstairs. It's all very, you know, it's a little bit complicated living situation, taking care of her, doing all these things. Also, we just have spent so much money on this cat in the past few weeks. Like, let's just say half a flooring's job's worth. And we're just like. And I just. And finally, I just pulled the cat card. I was just like, listen, we have a cat that is upstairs. Like, we're just, like, dealing with a lot right now, and we're just not doing this. I just sort of said, like, we're not doing this. And again, I didn't have a tone in my voice at all. What is that noise, by the way?

[Luke Burbank]

You can actually hear that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I know. I'm trying to push through. I'm just curious that.

[Luke Burbank]

It was really funny because I'm always that. Is Walt drilling into the concrete? Should I have him? It's really strange because I always think that the construction noise is very loud. And then you're usually like, I can't even hear that. And this is the complete opposite.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know why. I'm sorry. I really tried to put. It's no big deal. Now that I know. I just want to know, is it a pot boiling? Is it something coming from my.

[Luke Burbank]

There are also a couple of pots that are boiling. It's a real pot boiler.

[Andrew Walsh]

Keep an eye on that. So all of that is to say he ends up leaving. And then Genevieve did get a call from corporate or something. He said corporate was going to follow up on the quote or whatever. And she said she got a call from them, like, yesterday or something. And she said, yeah, of course they do E signature. And I'm like, yeah, of course they do E signature. And it's one of those things where.

[Luke Burbank]

Wow, that's actually pretty. Yeah, that right there is just an actual lie, which is Pretty uncool.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, exactly. And so, like, I. It was one of those things where in the moment, I was like, huh. That conversation ended up being a little bit more of a hard sell than I expected. But that's fine. We didn't sign anything. He's a pleasant enough guy, and he left. But it's like, I'm reliving the conversation. You're sort of getting the version now that I've been ruminating on with a little edge in my voice for the past several days, because I'm kind of like Mother Tudor. Like, don't come in here and just, like, basically lie to us about E signatures and come up with all these things. Like, well, I live in Woodinville, and I don't want to come back to the city to sign something. I start, like, stacking up all these things that he was saying to get us to sign right now. And we've been talking a lot about. And this is something where my brain is making these connections, but we've been talking a lot about phone scams after I got called by some guy who knew my name and phone number and claimed to be with the sheriff's department recently. And we talked about that, and we've heard from listeners who've been scammed. And now I'm just sort of equating in my head this, like, urgency to be like, no, don't hang up the phone. You can't hang up the phone. This has to happen now. You need to stay on the phone with me the whole time. No, I can't leave. We can't do E signatures. We got to do this where there's quotes only good for. We'll tear up the quote if need be, but I need to leave with money and the signature. And, like, I am. And again, I know that this guy isn't going to be the one doing the flooring, but we're going to get more quotes. Of course we're going to look around some more and see what our options are. I will not have a problem if we end up going with this company. But part of that is because I know he's not going to be doing the flooring himself. But, like.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that was my question was, has this now annoyed you to the point where even if it's the best quote, if it turns out be the best quote, you will, on principle, not use these folks.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I. If it's the best quote and we can get that flooring. And I, again, I still believe some of the things. I do appreciate him not trying to Upsell us. I appreciate some of the things that he was saying. And so I don't think that he's a completely dishonest person. But man, when it came to closing the sale, I guess I'm just not in a. Except for when we bought our one, we bought a new car once in our life and that was what, in 2017 or 2018. And I think everybody, when they go into those negotiations are really geared up because of the reputation of car salesmen. Like he was using as a. As a. As an example. I'm no car salesman. So aside from that, I don't think I'm usually in a position even, you know, buying a new stove or having installed or any of the projects we've done around the house. None of them have been to the degree that somebody's like, I need to land the Walsh has deal. You know what I mean?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

And so like, all of a sudden it's like more I'm thinking about it. In hindsight, that was kind of my point of this is like in the moment, it was not that egregious. But the more I think about it, I'm like, you son of a biscuit.

[Luke Burbank]

Your mother.

[Andrew Walsh]

Tutor, Tutor. Son of a biscuit.

[Luke Burbank]

And I don't care who hears it. I don't care who knows. Andrew, please stop. Yeah, I don't know if it's video games or what, but. Yeah, one thing that I have started to do is if it's possible, and I know it's a convenience issue, I try to go to them because then I can just leave like them in the home environment with their kind of like binder of samples is kind of. That creates an issue sometimes.

[Andrew Walsh]

But if you're seeing the space though, I'm really curious about that. Sorry to interrupt you, but we thought that it made sense because we need somebody to come in and not just give measurements, but actually see the space. It's a basement kind of walk it out feel for like.

[Luke Burbank]

I guess, I guess. I mean, I. I guess I would just. I probably would go in with the square footage, like, I need this. But. But you know, that might be. That might be a good reason to have them come by. I do remember when I was up at the Burbank Springs house and we were getting basement flooding. We called some like. We freaked out and we called some kind of like, you know, dry basement system expert. And this guy shows up and he's got all these. All these books of different. And what. What they were basically proposing doing was like trenching around the interior of the basement. So digging a trench around the. In full perimeter of the inside of the basement, which is really big. And then putting this crazy drainage system and these sump pumps and I mean, it was going to be like $25,000. And I swear to God, it had me so flummoxed that I was. I mean, we didn't have the money, but I was like, you know, we'll sign and figure it out. You know, like. And then thankfully, we were like, we're gonna wait on this. And we managed to get him out of there. We pretended to have a sick cat, when really all we had was a absolutely feral barn cat that was out just messing the neighborhood up.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

But. But anyway. And then, of course, that we talked to somebody else, we're like, no, that system is totally insane. Like, that's. That's, like, that's not. You know, it's not necessary to do that. Anyway, Carrie ended up getting it worked out with some exterior stuff that was so much less expensive than that. But it's like, yeah, that. That feeling. And again, you know, it's this. It's their job. And so they are. They're trained. And over time, they've developed the ability to create this sense of urgency that can really get you. Get you kind of, you know, off your game or get you considering things that you weren't considering when they walked through that door.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Yeah. So I kind of. I didn't like it. But we are going to go. You know, there's a flooring place very near us here. You can probably picture it, Luke. It's up on the corner of Aurora, kind of where I live. We're going to walk into there probably on Saturday and, like, poke a little bit and see what more options are. And I will say, this is where the salesperson maybe should. You know, maybe I'll send them this episode of. He came in my studio.

[Luke Burbank]

Signature it to him.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's like, oh, try it. He was like, you know, excited to see my radio. Just don't put me on the radio, said Tobolowski at one point. No joke.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, the irony that he's being very much put on whatever this is, as far as radio goes, I did.

[Andrew Walsh]

Not give him my name. I doubt he would hear this. And if I. Even if he cared enough to Google me, knowing that I do a podcast, he definitely didn't make it past Monday and Tuesday show to hear this on Wednesday, I'll tell you that much. And so anyway, it was one of those things where the more I think about it. It's almost like he talked himself. I mean, I'm not saying he talked himself out of a cell because I don't know exactly we're gonna. Where we're gonna end up yet. But he definitely, like, everything was good until he needed to do the hard sell. And oh, you know what I actually said at one point? I said, I actually did say to him, and I was not confrontational. I didn't have an edge in my voice. But I think I just said kind of calmly, I'm like, you know, you keep saying you're not a car salesman, but I'm starting to feel a lot of pressure here. And I don't like that. I did say that at some point. Which saying it now, it's hard to hear how that could come out of my mouth without sounding harsh. But I swear in the moment, I didn't say it with an edge. I just was being kind of honest. I'm like, I'm feeling a lot of pressure here and I don't like that. And I think eventually he backed off, but like, it's almost like he talked himself out of like 45 minutes or 40 minutes of goodwill.

[Luke Burbank]

Right.

[Andrew Walsh]

By being this sort of hard charging, this awe shots, hard charging guy at the end.

[Luke Burbank]

Right. If he would have just ended the conversation the way he started it, he'd probably be in the pole position.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

For getting, for getting this contract. If he would have just. I mean, and that's. We probably have some listeners that work in sales and can relate to this. But it's like, like that's the finesse of it. Right. Is having the, I guess the self discipline or something to actually be chill about it, knowing that it will. Or hoping it will come back to you as opposed to get half of the money before you walk out so that then you guys are kind of stuck in this deal, et cetera. It takes a tremendous amount of chill. Probably the highest level salespeople that are selling really expensive things that have a huge, you know, what do you call it? Commission associated with it. I would guess that when you get into those levels of sales, those people are like very, very, very light touch with the whole thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Because I'll bet you, you know, if you get into some real luxury stuff, they also, they being thirsty is a turn off. You know what I mean? And so they need to make it seem like they don't. They don't need you. Well, quite the.

[Luke Burbank]

They get there was this art. I guess you could say she was an art dealer. She was somebody who rich People, including, like, Leo DiCaprio and stuff, would retain her services for her to go out and advise them on what kind of cool art to buy and then also kind of broker the whole thing. And what she was really selling was her art knowledge. And. But she was also sort of one of them. Like, she had these beautiful homes and would take everybody out to these fancy meals. And I think that's part of the image. Turned out she was stealing all of their money and art, and now she's going to jail for, like, 15 years or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, really? Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

It was a story that kept popping up in the New York Times of just being, like, sort of a salesperson, essentially, but a salesperson who also needed to pass as also rich and chill. And I don't even need this because I have all this great stuff. Except actually, it's because I'm taking your money I'm supposed to be buying paintings with and then just using it to pay my mortgage and then not buying the painting.

[Andrew Walsh]

Tobolowski guy did say he's going to take us out on his yacht. Actually, he said he was going to take us out on one of those floating hot tubs in Lake.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Which is basically the same thing. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

You see a shirtless Tobolowski in a yacht tub.

[Andrew Walsh]

Me and this sales guy is.

[Luke Burbank]

Genevieve's traveling for work. So it's just you and too in the tub as it floats.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wait. Yeah. Is it Lake Union that those things float in? Yes, of course. Yeah. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

We've got them down in Portland, too. They float them on the Willamette. And it's been. Becca has brought it up many times.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, really?

[Luke Burbank]

She would enjoy doing as you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Guess that's not my scene.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't see that being your scene. I mean, maybe if it was you and Genevieve and you rented a condo and it had a hot tub that was maybe just for you two. I could see that, but I don't see you being.

[Andrew Walsh]

There's a promise that everybody in a half mile radius has, like, has fully Oedipuses the Oedipus to their eyes out. Wow.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. Well, I'm going to give you credit for the historical reference, although, is that really history? It didn't happen. But the. The. The idea of you in a hot tub that's somehow more in public than a normal hot tub is pretty funny to be. Yeah. Like, you just floating past boat after boat of just, like, coeds. Just like, people out there on lake. Maybe that cue you in the yacht tub.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Just waving at everybody who goes by.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. Now the interesting thing, you started this by asking me if I've ever sort of re litigated these conversations or thought about them. And I gave you my little story and from. From last night. And it's funny because it also involves a kind of good or service in the home environment. And what it was was I. You know, this property that I live on is kind of. It's. It's on a hill and it means that there's lots of different levels. The area where you park, you have to go down some steps to get down to where the house is and stuff. And the people. Whoever had this house before me was really into rockery. I don't know if they had some kind of a deal on different sizes of rock, but it's everywhere here. And the problem with these rockeries is they get these weeds and thistles that want to grow up between the rocks and they're just a giant pain in the ass to deal with. I spent like half of last summer bent over just pulling thistles and things out from between these rocks in the. In the hot sun. So I decided to hire a lawn care company to come by like once a month. And kind of just like once I got all the weeds out, which I did myself, because it was going to be prohibitively expensive to have someone else do it, then they were going to come through and spray something, which they promised me was not. What's the. What's the. The weed killer that's supposed to be Roundup. It's supposed to be really bad for you. They were using something else, allegedly that was like, not quite as toxic. And anyway, so they were doing that Toms of Maine. There was. It's a lavender verbena weed killer that is not doing shit, but it smells great. That's a. That's such a funny idea. So anyway, I hired them last summer to come out because I realized that, like, once I got on top of this problem, if I could just maintain it, if I could just have it not come back, that would be great. And it would be worth, you know, paying a little bit of money to just stay on top of this. And so I hired them in. Like, I don't even remember when it was maybe June or July and they came out and they sprayed. And then the thing that happened was everything stopped growing because it was the summer, right? Like, that's kind of how the growing season works. I don't really need to explain that for people, but.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, actually, though, I am curious. So how does it turn water into sugar and food? How do plants do that?

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, so when a mommy plant loves a daddy plant very much, Andrew. So what happened was, like, after, I don't know, maybe two months of this or three months of this, I was looking around and I realized these guys are just coming out and there's kind of nothing for them to do because everything has now stopped growing. And also, I mow the lawn. This is not a lawn mowing service. And so, like, I emailed the guy, and I was like, hey, I. Thanks so much. I'm ready to wrap this up. I don't really need this. And he was. I could tell he. He was like, we don't do E signatures. No, he was like. I could tell that he was kind of like, he was trying to talk me into. He was like, well, okay, but just so you know, the chemicals that we use, the Toms of Maine that we use, if the price goes up on that, I'm going to have to charge you more next. I was like, we'll pick this up in, like, April or May. And he goes, if you. If you. I just have to let you know that if the price of the chemical goes up, we'll have to charge you more next year. And as if, like, if I just continue to retain them in what, like, January? Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Did you have genial.

[Luke Burbank]

Genial, yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

And that's kind of interesting. It's not like you had knowledge of being locked in with a contract. Like, it was.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I hadn't signed any contract. It was all a handshake.

[Andrew Walsh]

Probably go up anyway. Honestly.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, Like. But he was like. He was like, just so you know, if the price of the chemical goes up, then I'm gonna have to charge you more. And I was like, well. Well, let's cross that bridge when we come to it. So sure enough, we're. Now it's. It's April. Things are starting to grow again. I'm starting to notice those weeds. I was out last weekend pulling them out, and I had. I called my guy and I said, hey, would you want to come by and take a look and we'll get this thing going again? And he said, well, okay, I need to come look at it first. He didn't have my name in his contact. He was like, who is this? I reminded him. So he came out yesterday. I guess the thing. This is. What's that kind of, like, thing that you're sitting with that you're kind of, like, going over it in your mind and going like, did he really think I was going to just hire them to come out in the snow and just like, look at my yard for $200 a month or something, you know. So he comes out, he's a nice enough guy, and he looks around and he's like, okay. He goes, well, first we're gonna have to do the clean out. And I'm like, well, what's the clean out? Because I have the. I mow the lawn again. There are no weeds currently. I've pulled all of the weeds. We're in. We are starting from a good spot. And he's like, yeah, we have to do the clean out. We got to come through and. And weed whack. Oh, and by the way, the cost of the chemical went up. Now it's going to be. I was paying. I'll just use the real numbers. I was good. I was paying 200amonth before. He's like, now it's 250 or. No, he said now it's 280. And I was like, ouch. And he goes, yeah, but. And then it was some weird thing where he was like, but if you keep it going next year through November, then I'll only charge you 250. And the cleanout, which I still was like, I don't understand what the cleanout is. Like, everything is fine in my yard. I just want it to look like it looks right now. I just want your guys to come once a month and make sure that there are not weeds growing and they're going to spray something on there that's hopefully non toxic but actually works that will make this not happen. And he was like, yeah, the cleanout's gonna be like $700. And I was just like, I don't. But again, it was one of these things where I'd hired him last year. I was like, well, maybe there's something I don't understand about this. I don't know why I got into my head that like this was a reasonable thing to charge. Like whatever the cleanout is. I will do that, sir. Like I should have just said, don't do whatever you're calling the clean out. Don't do that. I'm not paying you $700 to weed whack parts of my yard. I don't even. I'm still unclear on what was going on.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can I ask you a question? When you first hooked up with this guy?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

That was about a year ago. Did you say or more than that? Maybe or less than that?

[Luke Burbank]

Because I think I'd already was getting into. In well into the spring at that point.

[Andrew Walsh]

Did he do you think you paid for a clean out the first time, but you were just less dubious about it because you hadn't been maintaining your yard as much. And now this time you're like, wait, what are you talking about?

[Luke Burbank]

No, I don't think you didn't even.

[Andrew Walsh]

Pay for it last time.

[Luke Burbank]

No, because again, he's.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I don't even punishing you for break, for not breaking, but he's punishing.

[Luke Burbank]

You for like, I think that's what was going on because he, then he was saying something. It was kind of difficult to figure out what he was trying to say. There's a bit of a language barrier, not an extreme one, but like he was trying to say something about next year. And like, it'll be 250amonth, but if I go until November and then the clean out, and then we'll just do the clean out. Like, I, I felt like he was in some way trying to financially punish me for like not wanting his guys to come here in the dead of winter when there was no reason for it. And so anyway, he says, I say yes to this for some dumb reason. I don't know, I don't know what was going on. But I, I said, okay, well, kind.

[Andrew Walsh]

Of similar situation, right? Like you're just kind of like somebody's talking at you, telling you what needs to be done.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, and I, I found, you know, he seemed pretty nice and I think I got him recommended. Well, the other thing that happened, geez, this is getting so much in the weeds, literally and figuratively. I'd had some other lawn care company come out last year and give me a quote. And the quote they gave me was, was really crazy. It was like a lot and more than this guy was quoting me. So I kind of held him in this position in my mind of like, this guy's a straight shooter. But I also just felt weird about this. Like if you do it for this amount of time, it's this, but then also this clean out and whatever. So then he said, I said, well, when are you going to be out here to do this? And he said, well, I'm really busy, so it's going to be probably in three weeks. That'll be the first. We can do it. And then I'll just send you the invoice before we come. And that's the other thing I've noticed about this guy. He's crazy with the invoices. Like, like he kept sent. He would like send me every month he would be sending me an invoice and then he'd be like, text me, did you get the invoice? And I'd be like, I got it five minutes ago, bro. And then he'd be like, like four hours later, hey, just want to double check you got the invoice. And it's like. And it would be like, I've had to pay him before he comes out and does anything. Like, it was just like energy was kind of weird. So the idea was I. I in my mind thought I had 30 days to think about this. I thought, well, when I'm going to think about this. And whenever he emails me with the invoice, which will be about, about when he's going to do the work. A. I'll see. Like, what's my budget looking like right now? Like, am I feeling financially like it's tax season, etc. Am I feeling like this is a good use of money? So I was in the back of my mind kind of reserving the right to call this deal off. And also his what he said to me was, I will send you the invoice. Like right before we come do the work. He sends me the invoice an hour like, like two hours after we park company. So last night I get the invoice. I. E. He's like, Teddy kgb voice, Pay the man his money. Like, that's my Matt Damon impression.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know Teddy. Oh, okay. Oh, rounders. I haven't seen.

[Luke Burbank]

That's John Malkovich playing a Russian dude named Teddy kgb who loses poker to Matt Damon. Anyway, so not only is he not like he's asking for the money right now, he's told me he's superbooked. He's not going to be here for three weeks. He wants the money right now. And I look at the bill and he's charging me $750 for the clean out. And I'm like, I'm like. I was like, I was incensed. I was incensed. I was like, who do you like? And by the way, I sent the email from my other computer, so I don't have it in front of me, but I basically just said, responded and I just said, dude, we had agreed on 700 for the cleanout. And I don't understand any of this stuff about the 250amonth through November. This is not going to work for me. Good luck with everything. I was pretty terse with him, but I felt like he literally just thought, this guy's not going to notice. I tacked $50 on this. It's and, and that made me now retroactively, really mad about all of the goods. Not the goods, but all the services I've received from this guy because I now have him in the category of kind of shady, I think. I mean, I think that he just thought, this guy is not going to be tracking this. The number 700 was burned in my brain because it seemed ridiculously expensive in the first place. You know how that is. Like, when there's something that's kind of shocking to you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

You have a strong memory of it because of its. By the. By the very nature that it is shocking, it burns in your brain. So I knew exactly what we had talked about. And he just thought he could throw 50 bucks on there then, plus tax. So the invoice I was getting for was for, like, $811 now. And it's just like, I was so mad at him. I was. And then again, I was just, like, retroactively mad. I was like, how many times was he overcharging me for other things or just, like, you know, trying to trick me into retaining his services for things that didn't need to be done or whatever. Or maybe not even spraying things or diluting the chemicals that are allegedly going up anyway. So I don't know if I regret the email. I could have maybe been a little nicer about it because he and I did have a friendly, like, kind of interaction. Like, it was like, hey, what's up, man? And stuff. I would occasionally throw out a little bit of my Spanish, but this was a really. I was really.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's where the 50 bucks came from.

[Luke Burbank]

That's fair. That's fair. Listen, man, that'll get you everywhere in this world. But, yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

So anyway, go back to my original question. Maybe the answer is yes. I sort of feel like you had a similar experience. One of those things where in the actual moment where you're talking to this now, it is true you were hit with a bill that kind of said something that you didn't agree to, or an invoice, I should say. But it is one of those things where in the moment you're talking to the guy, you're like, this doesn't seem totally right. But it's. Whatever. I'm in the moment. But the more you sort of kind of ruminate on it and think about it, you kind of get more and more torqued.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. I'm sorry. I thought I was on a Fresca break. I was on my team.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was wondering if I was using torqued the right way. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

I think you're using it exactly right.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was getting multiple meetings torqued up.

[Luke Burbank]

Last night, not just because of the Mariners, but because of this email I got from this guy. So now I've. I guess what. What this really comes down to is I am going to be spraying my own rockery this summer.

[Andrew Walsh]

Or. Or you're back on the market and you're going to see like, you know, was he a good deal or not? If you poke around, that's a.

[Luke Burbank]

That actually might be kind of fun.

[Andrew Walsh]

It could be fun or it could be like, oh, shit, I see what he was trying to do here. He charges so little on the monthly thing that he's trying to make it up on, like trying to maintain the contract or the. The upfront. It's almost your description there is almost like joining a gym, sort of. Only a lot more expensive. My gym costs $9 a month.

[Luke Burbank]

My gym costs $9 a month. We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle. On your mark.

[Andrew Walsh]

On your mark.

[Luke Burbank]

Get set, get set now. Ready, ready, go, everybody. Razzle dazzle. All right, let's thank some dazzling donors. These folks are donating their money voluntarily to TBTL to keep this thing going. And we are so appreciative of that generosity. And it's coming today from folks like Max McDaniel, pronounced targets. Targets.

[Andrew Walsh]

That is what he wrote in his. That's right. Pronouncer.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. And Max is. Max is in Seattle, Washington, and says, g'day, fellas. I added the accent. You'll know when I'm doing the accent, Andrew. And it was right there.

[Andrew Walsh]

You'll know when you're speaking. I'll know when you're speaking in Spanish.

[Luke Burbank]

I knew I shouldn't have shared that with you. Literally, what I will say sometimes is Kaetal. That's about the extent of what I'll try, which I hope is a friendly thing and not seen as some kind of terrible gringo behavior. But again, maybe that's why I was getting upcharged. G'day, fellas. I've been listening. I've been a listener for over 10 years now, and I'm proud to be a first time dazzler this donation season. Thanks, Max. Max says, a little over a year ago, I lost my job when the startup I worked for went under. Sorry about that. Being unemployed, I found myself eagerly awaiting the early afternoon push notifications letting me know my friendos were ready to talk at me. Talk at me. The daily banter about all things, from the minutiae of garbage day protocol to vast topics in the political zeitgeist, was something I truly relied on as a means of normalcy amidst what was an otherwise chaotic and overwhelming time in my life. As I write this one year to the day since I started my new job, I consider it a privilege to be able to donate a dazzling level in hopes that I can support the boys in helping others who may have fallen on hard times. Thanks for being here. Keep up the good work, and remember, what you do is so important. Well, Max, I'm really, really glad to hear that you landed on your feet, as they say, and that you've got a new job. I hope that's treating you well. And that's. What a nice thought from Max, that if. If he's in the position where he's able to support the show, he's sort of doing it on behalf of folks who might not be in that position. I know that times are. Times are tough out there and getting tougher for a lot of folks. And so if. If somebody like Max sees that they're in the position to help out and they're kind of doing it in lieu of some other people who aren't in the position, I think that's a pretty nice thing to do.

[Andrew Walsh]

Absolutely. And Max, now I'm. This is Max in Seattle. I'm pretty sure this is the Max who sometimes refers to himself as other Max, because we do have a lot.

[Luke Burbank]

Of Maxes, and I think this is.

[Andrew Walsh]

The same Max who's a Cleveland Guardians fan and had that sweet. That sweet. What do they call the home? The new city Connect. God, you know, whatever. But anyway, Max, I. I'm not going to get into detail. I. I dropped the ball on something I told Max I would do for him. Max, you know what I'm talking about. Email me. And let's get the ball rolling on that again. How about that?

[Luke Burbank]

And, Max, anything that I have dropped the ball on, I'm probably going to continue dropping the ball on.

[Andrew Walsh]

So just. Just get at it.

[Luke Burbank]

Just say work it out with Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you, Max.

[Andrew Walsh]

Maestro, I have your drugs.

[Luke Burbank]

On your mark. On your mark. Get set, get set.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now.

[Luke Burbank]

Ready, ready, go. Everybody rattle. Look who it is. It's Katie Broussard.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hey, Katie.

[Luke Burbank]

In Salt Lake City, Utah. Hey there. To John, Andrew and Luke. This is my second year as a D donor. I'm trying to be brief. Thank you, Katie. You've saved time by not writing Dazzler, but you've eaten up time by writing something Funny. That's gonna cause me to then expand on the topic of how much time are we really saying saving by just using the D.

[Andrew Walsh]

Could be a dd? We'd save even more time with that, I suppose.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Although, you know, in the. I don't know if we're talking this way anymore, but back in the day when you had two Ds next to each other when I was a teen, that had its own kind of connotation. I feel like that could be, you know, dangerous. Anyway, I'm happy to be here is what Katie writes. I wrote a long thing and then I got tired of trying to be quippy. So I'll just say I love the TBTL community now more than ever, and I appreciate every tiny thing that goes into making the show on a daily basis. That's hard work. Thank you. Sometimes when I'm writing my chart notes, I listen to the boys and try to use their friendly tone when describing my patients. I actually find it helpful. I'm a naturopath with a practice here in Salt Lake City, but also all over Utah and Washington via telemedicine. I've got my own supplement line. You can visit my website@doctor katiebrussard.com and by the way, Katie is with a K, K A T, I, E. And then broussard is B, R U, S S A R D. Dr. KatieBrussard.com to learn more. As an old French professor of mine used to say chapeau instead of cheers or thanks. So chapeau.

[Andrew Walsh]

Chapeau.

[Luke Burbank]

I thought chapeau was hatched. Is that what chapeau is?

[Andrew Walsh]

Chapeau spelled by chapeau means boy. No, I have no idea.

[Luke Burbank]

Chapeau. I always thought that was hat in French. Anyway, listen, if you are. If you're looking for a naturopath and you're in Utah, it's got to be Dr. Katie Percy.

[Andrew Walsh]

It does look like if you're not. It does. It is. When you type in chapeau. I am getting a lot of photos of hats. Chapeau.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Like I would. I would think that. So that means that Katie's French teacher was saying hat to everybody.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm trying to figure this out. So I'm writing like chapeau. Cheers. Is that a thing? There's going to be a hat on the TV show Cheers. Let's see here. Chapeau in the context of cheers or congratulations is a French word meaning hat. This is. This is AI going. This is. This is AI going. Just super. AI here.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you, Dr. Katie and hat to you.

[Andrew Walsh]

You wear many chapeaus. Hello and welcome to Top Story.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, I'll try to keep this relatively brief, Andrew, because we spent probably way too much time on the rants and raves yesterday.

[Andrew Walsh]

Impossible.

[Luke Burbank]

I did the Seattle Times Rants and raves. That is. But the. The yesterday, I think the headline was. What was it? Reader enjoyed jazz concert.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. Yeah, that was great.

[Luke Burbank]

The Today's was rant and rave. Reader appreciates Fix It Fares. But that wasn't the one that captured my attention. That was just somebody saying these Fix it fairs are really cool. Which they are, by the way.

[Andrew Walsh]

We went to Vives and I went to one one time. I can't remember what she's trying to get fixed, but I think they helped her.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, they. They'll get a bunch of people together that are good at fixing like toasters and this and that. And then those of us who are not inclined towards that, people like me can bring their stuff in and see if somebody there can kind of fix it. There was. I vibed very much with a rant. And then I also was unhappy about the second rant in this. So rant number one in this today's column, if you will, rant to the electric dirt bikes that kids are riding all over the place around North Bend. Do they really think it's okay, since they are electric, to go places where they are not allowed? This is such a problem in Portland right now. Becca and I were walking over this pedestrian only bridge called the Tilikum. It's got public transit, it's got the Max line goes through the middle of it and you can walk and you can ride your bike. What you should not do Is have like 13 teenage boys on motorcycles riding wheelies in the pedestrian area as happened to us yesterday. Or not yesterday, but whatever. This weekend as we were walking across the bridge and we're like, we were in the middle of Mad Max Fury Road. And yes, these motorcycles were technically electric, but that was the only thing that made them difference. And just like a rogue gang of young motorcyclists wheeling past and around us and seriously, almost bumping into me at like 45 miles an hour, I was not happy about. So I agree with that rant. Now here's the next one, though, that I don't fully understand. I hope this didn't come from our good friend who's a, you know, elite level ranter or raver with the Seattle Times rant to TV news reporters who can't cover a simple news story without using their hands to speak.

[Andrew Walsh]

Without using their hands to speak. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

It's distracting, unnecessary, and does nothing to convey the actual news. Perhaps you are better suited for radio or print media.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is such a weird complaint. I. You know, I glanced at this earlier when you said, you want to talk about the rants and raves, and I read it quickly and I. And the first time I read it, I thought it said, who used their hands too. Like, I interpreted it as people who gesticulate too much when they're kind of presenting the news in whatever fashion, whether they're a reporter or an anchor. But this is like, oh, people who don't use their hands to speak. That's such a weird thing to really, like, kind of latch onto.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, I think they were saying, who use their hands to speak.

[Andrew Walsh]

Rant. How did I get this so wrong? Rant at TV news reporters who can't cover a simple news story without using. Oh, okay, it's a double negative. Wait, but what. So they are saying they're using their hands too much? Like, that's literally part of the job. And it also belies your last sentence. Perhaps you're better suited to radio or print. I would say the people who aren't using their hands to present maybe are better just sitting behind a typewriter. They still use typewriters or a microphone.

[Luke Burbank]

I think that their theory is, if you're in the radio or print media, we can't see you. So we don't care what you're doing with those hands.

[Andrew Walsh]

But you need to.

[Luke Burbank]

But if you're on tv, what are.

[Andrew Walsh]

You supposed to just keep them down by your side?

[Luke Burbank]

I don't understand, like, what a weird thing for this person to be bothered by. But again, I also just think it's interesting that they're like, you need to go be in one of the medias where we can't see you in your dumb hands.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I just can't. I mean, there might be a couple of people out here out there who are just, like, wildly gesticulating in a distracting way. But I think I would find it more distracting if a reporter, like, was like, just. Yeah, I mean, I guess if you're out in the field, you're holding a microphone, that's something. Maybe. But if you're just standing there, if you're like.

[Luke Burbank]

If you're more unsettling, if you're not moving your hands at all.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. I mean, that's kind of a way of presenting. Do you stand in front of a group full of people and never, like, move your. That's A natural human thing to do when you're talking.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. And also had me wondering, do we use our hands much when we're talking to each other?

[Andrew Walsh]

On this show, I often am making, like, really rude gestures. I try to keep it off of the camera, out of the frame. Well, this is. I mean, and I kind of didn't want to go here specifically because this is so not about me. And this is much closer to the work that you do doing TV news stories. But I will say that I immediately started thinking, like, well, when I do a hey Dummies video, I'm usually doing them in this exact setup in my studio, talking into this computer. Them two coffee mugs.

[Luke Burbank]

Right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Two coffee mugs. I don't know what to do with my hands. No. I don't know if you know this, but, like, when I'm done producing the video, I have to find a screen cap to use that is kind of like the. The main picture for the YouTube video. And I don't like it. I don't like that computer just to choose one. I do this for both you and I, and I'm always looking for an interesting shot, you know, now if you're out in front of a Chipotle in Times Square, I can get a good shot of you with the Chipotle sign behind you. But when I'm always sitting behind this microphone, I'm. I'm scrolling through. I'm like, do something, Andrew, do something. And then I'll find a shot where I finally am gesticulating with my hands or something. And I'm like, okay, well, this makes it seem like there's some. Something going on in this video. Like I'm looking for the moments where it looks like I'm trying to explain something with my hands.

[Luke Burbank]

We have a version of this that's become a problem. I actually sent. I tried to make it really nice, but actually sent a note to the folks at Livewire at the radio show that I do to say, can we maybe low key the photos of me yelling with my hands out to the crowd when they're yelling. So at the beginning of the show, we say, you know, from prx, it's. And then the crowd yells, livewire. And there's always. And so when that happens, I'm always kind of encouraging the crowd, as is Elena Passarello. And it's an active moment that the problem is we're doing a radio show, so it's mostly inactive. It's me sitting at a desk. I have a computer, I'm Talking into a microphone. So it's the one thing where there's like, activity. What it means is there are like about 400 pictures on the website of me like, like screaming and making a weird face because it's the only thing they can find that seems like it's activated. And every email that goes out, every social posting, everything where my face and my, I guess, torso are being presented to the wider public as an enticement to livewire is me going, yeah, like.

[Andrew Walsh]

Why is this guy so angry all the time?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, exactly. Why is this guy always yelling and pointing and why is he being so weird? And I was like, could we. I don't know what the other photos would be, but could we just like kind of of be aware of how much this is the photo? This is the kind of photo we're putting out because it's becoming a little bit kind of one note.

[Andrew Walsh]

So did John Mulaney get a jaw job, by the way?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, Andrew, that was a. There were people on TikTok were speculating about that I would be really caught wind of this.

[Andrew Walsh]

I heard it on my podcast. Not my podcast, the podcast I listened to this morning. And they're all talking about John Mulaney's job. I know that seemed like a weird left turn, but you're just talking about how you're presenting on the Live Wire page. And so I'm thinking about like, kind of, I guess I'm thinking about show business. And then I don't know, hearing them, I don't know. A couple of hours ago on the podcast talking about John Mulaney's jaw, I realized that that is sticking with me for some reason because of maybe various things, because I don't think of this might be short sighted of me. I'll try to choose my words carefully, but I don't think of it as usually comedians who are going out and having a lot of body monitoring, cosmetic surgery or cosmetic surgery done for the, you know, to look a little bit hunkier. I know, I guess he is. He's a good looking man. Huh? I guess as. As a straight guy, I never really stopped to consider that. But he is, I guess he's a hunky guy and he wanted to be a little bit more hunky. I still think he could have confirmed.

[Luke Burbank]

He did that, though.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know. There's just a lot of. There's a lot of speculation and I.

[Luke Burbank]

Want to call into everybody's live and ask him.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, that would be.

[Luke Burbank]

They were talking about jaw surgeries today. Our theme is jaw surgery. What do you think, John Waters, have you ever had a jaw surgery?

[Andrew Walsh]

What do you think?

[Luke Burbank]

I don't think. Here's what I think. I don't think he had a jaw surgery. He does have now a very. His jaw is fairly pronounced and very, I guess we could say classically masculine appearing or whatever. It's a nice. He has a nice jawline. I just think his body is changing in the way that our bodies all change as we get older. And I don't think that John Mulaney, when he was, you know, 25 years old, was feeling his comedy career was being held back by a lack of a huge mandible. Like, I just, I don't understand why. I think what's happened is he's maybe he's in different physical shape. I mean, he's sober and maybe he's, you know, exercising more. Maybe he's just getting a little bit more, I don't know, muscular, and then that's kind of showing up in his face also. Again, our faces just change over time. I just think his body and face changed a little bit and it seemed noticeable to people. But the explanation of he went and secretly had a jaw enlargement surgery so he could continue to just tell jokes about cocaine use. It just doesn't make sense to me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. I'm gonna just keep on throwing new topics at you that we have not approved ahead of time. Were you. Did you have this sound up on the Mariners game yesterday when Dave Valley was talking about it? Is Valley, right? I always get confused by the way it's spelled.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Did you hear him going on and on about intermittent fasting and actually fasting for days on end? I missed that he was talking about it with Goldsmith and it made. I felt like it made the broadcast very awkward because suddenly we got. At first, Goldsmith is just asking him some follow up questions about his fasting tendencies, which starts off like sort of jokey. But then at the end you just have Dave Valli, who, I don't know. I asked you the other day off air, like, I don't have a great read on that guy, but I get a little spidey sense for some reason. But we get this real kind of a guy that I see as sort of a muscular, meatheady former. And I don't know if he was a beloved player for the Mariners or not.

[Luke Burbank]

Kind of a beloved catcher back in the day.

[Andrew Walsh]

He was beloved, like, okay. And so I guess people, I didn't watch that era of the Mariner, so I Don't have that like halo effect with him. And so I'm always a little skeptical of him. And all of a sudden the broadcast just becomes him saying some, I would say kind of dubious health stuff for quite some time. Talking about like how a brain, I think he couldn't think of the word ketosis. He was trying to think of what happens after. Like, he literally was like singing the praises of not eating for four days. And like it started casual. But then Goldsmith asks a couple of follow ups. And I think is Goldsmith starts to realize, oh shit, I can't stop what's happening now. And I don't know if he was trying to get out of it or not, but Dave Valli, I'm just like, I don't know if you should be just saying this on a. Just giving out this kind of health advice on this casual baseball broadcast. It was kind of on the edge.

[Luke Burbank]

This is what happens when you don't have anyone that can hit. There's a nature abhors, a vacuum.

[Andrew Walsh]

All that time, Donovan Solano's fault.

[Luke Burbank]

All that time when other announcers are talking about what just happened on the diamond when their team got a hit, the Mariners announcers have nothing to talk about. And now they're getting into questionable dietary claims.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm gonna see if I type in Dave Valley fasting. Did anybody on like Reddit or anybody. Did this start a conversation? Reddit is go to place for. Yeah, no, you really did hear that or you really did see that and we want to have a conversation about it. I'm not seeing anything here, but I thought it was a very, very bizarre part of the broadcast that I think might have honestly potentially made some people nervous about. Why are we letting this guy give out this advice? He wasn't like saying everybody should do it, but I was starting to think, like, I don't know, this is getting into some kooky territory.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, the thing is the way they've used Dave Valli in seasons past is he's just been part of the post game show, but that's pretty straightforward. That's reporting on what happened in the game, that's kind of analyzing the highlights, etc. It doesn't have this kind of like long stretches of downtime where you could really kind of, you could just go off the rails. I don't think he's historically been. I mean, he's probably done it a few times, but I don't. He wasn't always like one of the color commentators, if I remember right. So this is maybe slightly A new world for him. I don't.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't even know that he's necessarily doing a bad job.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, I do. I'm not as obsessed with having former players in there. I know that's usually the thing. The former players, the color person, they can give. And I will say, like, there were moments yesterday, or maybe it was the day before, where he was literally talking about, like, oh, man, when you get a wild pitch like that, you need to do this. Like, the perspective that he can bring is somebody who is. Who spent so much time literally behind the plate. Like, you know, there's. You know, and he's a good talker. So I'm not trying to, like, say, I'm not trying to turn this into, like, Dave Valley shouldn't be there. I'm actually trying to figure out how I feel about him as a color commentator. And it's not all negative, and it's not all positive. I love Angie. Angie, so far, is my favorite, even more than hyphen. But anyway, we don't have to get into all of that. Hey, TBTL listeners, did you want me to rank all the color commentators on my new root sports streaming app? But anyway, I just thought it was kind of strange that they were just letting him. Just giving him more and more rope on this stuff that sounded like. Kind of like, I don't know if we should be encouraging everybody to do this stuff that you're apparently doing.

[Luke Burbank]

Speaking of eating, I posted this on Instagram last night. My dad. My dad is on such a bizarre eating schedule. So as I've talked about on the show, when my dad's out here working, I end up. And as the Dr. Katz tape, although I realize I'm doing reverse Dr. Katz, because in that tape, the dad has made the rice, and the son is enjoying the rice. In my case, the son is making the rice, and the dad is hopefully enjoying the rice. So I always cook for us, and I try to make something that's kind of healthy or at least, you know, again, I'm trying to stay away from the super processed stuff. And I made something last night I was very proud of. It was a real winner. I had all this asparagus that I had bought that I needed to get through. And I thought I had some pasta, but I. I didn't have any. I don't know, typical pasta, but I did have some orzo. And so I made this asparagus orzo thing where I cooked up the orzo, and then I sort of threw the asparagus asparagus in at the last minute. And then I made this other thing that had like some, some grated, actually finely chopped parmesan and oil and some other flavors. And then you throw that in the mix and you stir it all up and. And it was delicious. And then I put this like, salmon, smoked salmon on it. It was really, really good. I was really proud of it. And I'm literally plating this. That means I'm. I'm putting the orzo stuff into this bowl and I'm putting the salmon with it. And. And he goes, I'm just gonna grab a couple of these if this is cool with you. And he's holding a box of white cheddar Cheez its. It's like set. It's like, maybe it's like 6:40 or something. And the table is set for dinner. And he's like, hey, I just want, you know, I'm just gonna eat some of these white cheddar cheeses. I was like, are you insane? Are you five? Like, who's eating white cheddar Cheez its at dinner time when someone is clearly putting the dinner on the plate to bring over to you?

[Andrew Walsh]

And was his thing, like, I'm not ready to sit down for dinner right now. I'm gonna be out in the backyard, like, smoking my cigar and eating these cheese.

[Luke Burbank]

He'd already done that and talked to my mom on the phone.

[Andrew Walsh]

Rit was like, you. The plan was. And maybe the reality was that he sat down with you at sort of like at a dining table and ate a box of Cheez its.

[Luke Burbank]

I think he was just hungry, which I get. But I was like, dad, I'm putting the food on the plate right now. You're going to be eating in two minutes. I think he was hungry. But this, my mom did this on Friday night when they were over and I was making this other whole meal. My mom goes again, I'm like grilling up these salmon patties and stuff. And my mom goes, oh, those smell great. Hey, by the way, I'm just gonna have a couple of these. And she's holding a bag of Fritos. They both just like exist on junk food that they'll eat at any time of the day or night, regardless of what's going on.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, what happened with your dad though? Did he sit down at the table with you and you ate the orzo and salmon and he just ate crackers?

[Luke Burbank]

No, he ate. He. I strongly reprimanded him. I think he ate like one Cheez it because I started yelling at him and then he. And then he sat down and he ate the. He loved it, by the way. He had second. It was really good. But if I hadn't yelled at him, he would have eaten half a box of Cheez. Its as the. As the appetizer to this meal that I made. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe I'm just. Maybe I'm sensitive. But, like, I find the fact that my parents, who are both, thankfully in very good health, just walk around eating Fritos and cheese at any time of the day or night.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Very bizarre.

[Andrew Walsh]

I feel like there was a time. No, it'll still happen. Like, sometimes I'm in the mood to cook, and often what will happen is by the time I'm done cooking, I'm not even hungry myself anymore.

[Luke Burbank]

Are you snacking while you're cooking?

[Andrew Walsh]

No. I probably had a couple of beers, though. That takes up some space down there. I don't know. And also maybe just, like, the act of cooking. I don't know. There's something about it. By the time I'm done, I just want to start cleaning up sort of. So often I'm just sort of like, I'm making something, thinking, I hope this is good. I hope Genevieve enjoys this, you know, and so. But then this hasn't happened in a while. But, like, you know, the meal will maybe be like 15 minutes away from being done. And then Genevieve will sort of like meander in the kitchen, grab a couple of cheese slices. You know, I see her grabbing a plate for something. I'm just kinda like, what do you. What are you doing here? But on the other hand, if I'm cooking and I'm not even that interested in eating, it's not like I'm gonna force her to eat what I'm. What I'm making.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, I think it's the stuff they eat too. Like, it's. Because I'll usually make an appetizer too. Not even. I won't make an appetizer, but I'll, like, like, get a little cheese plate with some olives and stuff and some crackers. Like, I try to, like, something about eating Fritos before the meal as the appetizer just feels wrong to me, like. Or, you know, Whereas, like, I will usually put something out that they can snack on while I'm making the food. It's something about the. And then the other thing is that it's just like, for a good week or two after my dad leaves from helping me out, here I am going through the refrigerator and the cabinets and getting rid of the bizarre food products that he's, that he's brought over the bizarre off brand, you know, sweets and you know, woohoo. The other day when I was gone over the weekend, but my dad was here and I was like, hey. I was texting him, I was like, is there anything for you to eat in the house? I was like, there are these Trader Joe's frozen Indian meals that he could make. And he goes, oh man, I took my taquitos home with me last time. He had brought a box of like taquitos and then eaten like frozen taquitos, probably from like Walmart or something. And then he had eaten, let's say there's 10 of them in there. He had eaten six of them, so there's four left. And then he had taken them down to this, down to the beach with my mom so they could eat the taquitos down there. I was like, who's transporting frozen taquitos across state lines?

[Andrew Walsh]

And is it legal?

[Luke Burbank]

And is it legal? It shouldn't be legal, right? Hey, speaking of illegal activity, I'll just, just throw this out so we can clear it off the list. Because I've been promoting for the last two days in a row. An American YouTuber is in imprisoned right now in jail in India for going to this island called North Sentinel island, which is part of India's Andaman and Nicobar islands, to try to meet the Sentinelese tribe who are considered some of the least contacted people on planet Earth. This guy is from Scottsdale, Arizona. His name is Mikhailo Polyakov. And apparently he is in jail for the next 14 days until they figure out what they're going to do with him. He went out to this island, first of all, he had to study the tides and all of this different maritime stuff to get to this island because it's actually, as you might imagine, in the middle of nowhere. And he went out to the island and he made apparently a YouTube video. And he was standing on the beach blowing a whistle, trying to get this tribe to come out. Nobody came out, luckily for this guy. And then he left a can of Diet Coke and a coconut as an offering. I don't know what grows on this island. I feel like a coconut's probably not blowing their mind. I don't want to buy into island stereotypes. Leave them an iPad. Like what's the coconut? Seems like a thing that might already be possible. There might even be a big part of the diet. But anyway, he left this can of Diet Coke and a coconut and then he left and as he was leaving, apparently a couple of fishermen saw him and so then they called the police and. And then he got arrested when he got back to whatever the mainland of India was. What I thought was interesting about this story in reading it is that, you know, these, this tribe that's on North Sentinel, they apparently will just kill anybody who shows up on the beach. And they have, have some fishermen showed up, they, they got lost and ended up on the beach and the tribe killed them. There was another person who went there to try to make contact with them that the tribe killed. What I think is interesting is it seems completely fine like for this tribe to kill people that go there. What I mean is there doesn't seem to be any discussion by the government, any government of saying to the tribe, could you stop killing people when they show up? This seems like one of those things where everyone's like, like if you show up on that beach and you get killed, that's on you.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, I haven't read this story, but I guess if there's no. I mean we, it's our own governing bodies that implement laws, right? And so like does this, does this island not fall under the regulation?

[Luke Burbank]

I think it's technically India.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, well then murders illegal in India.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean it's, they're calling it, I mean Indian police have arrested a 24 year old American. So this. Because India is, I don't know if this is a territory of India. I don't know what the exact designation is. But like this guy is now in trouble with the government of India over doing this. So they have some sort of a role to play here. But I just thought it was interesting reading about multiple people getting killed for going on this beach and no conversation about like, did we go to the tribe? Hey, stop doing that. It really does seem to be the case that you, if you get murdered at this place, that's gonna be on you. And I kind of support that. I honestly think like, oh no, you've.

[Andrew Walsh]

Always been a real stand your ground guy.

[Luke Burbank]

That's me. You know, it's the Castle doctrine. Andrew Long, long held on this show and advocated for. But yeah, I think I tend to agree with whoever it is who said we're not going to prosecuting this. Like you go on that island and you kind of get what you deserve.

[Andrew Walsh]

I liked what you said. I think it was yesterday at the beginning, at the beginning of the show, you're like, it's never like when the sentence begins. A YouTuber, American YouTuber. It's never kind of like something good that follows. YouTuber did something really great.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. American YouTuber performs Heimlich on mayor and, you know, saves his life or something. It's like. No, it's always bad. Like, when you get the term YouTuber and American involved, they're going to be getting a wombat that they shouldn't be getting. They're going to be leaving garbage on a beach somewhere. I used to be very fascinated with this idea of uncontacted peoples. I grew up, up. There were these. I mean, this is the absolute worst expression of this, I would say, probably. But it's big in the evangelical movement to try to contact these tribes and make them Christian.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And there was a book called Through Gates of Splendor that was very big in the. And it was about these, you know, of course, white missionaries who go down to somewhere, I think, in the Amazon and, like, make, you know, contact with and convert all of these people into, quote, unquote, Christians, whatever that's supposed to mean. I remember growing up and reading these books and thinking, like, what an amazing thing you've done for these people in the middle of nowhere.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And historically, how is that?

[Luke Burbank]

I don't feel like it's held up here.

[Andrew Walsh]

I go once again with the email every week. I hope that it's from a female. Oh, man.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not from a female. All right. I have actually an email, Andrew, that I think will maybe clear up some confusion that we had yesterday on the show that you and I had about the hot lanes.

[Andrew Walsh]

I knew exactly. Okay, good. I wasn't sure if you saw because we got a lot of emails and stuff on this, some of which were so informed that it left me more confused. But now we continue to get emails that are explaining the difference between the hot lanes and the HOV lanes.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I just saw the one from Stephen and then I had Gemini summarize the email. And then it was really. Steven said, anyone can. So this was in reference to a. A rant yesterday on the show from the Seattle Times about people basically just driving in the carpool lane, even though it's just a single person. And this person was upset about that. And then I talked about how I recently was driving on 405 in the carpool lane, thinking that I was allowed to do it because I was willing to pay the toll, and. But then wondering how it was that the little camera knows the difference between me by myself and my car, where I should be paying the toll, and somebody who's got three people or two people in the car and is allowed to do this because they're carpooling. And Steven said anyone can use the hot lanes and pay the tolls, be it with a good to go pass or by photo mail. Photo mail. I guess they. Maybe they email you a photo or something. But if you invest $15 for a Flex Pass, it has a slider to indicate HOV or carpool and you can use the lane without getting charged. So you've got this little thing that you can move over when you're got. When you have multiple people in your car that I guess then tells it not to bill you.

[Andrew Walsh]

And is it because I got an email from other people who said there are not cameras on this stuff yet.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that's the thing. He says. Steven says, I'm not sure how they necessarily enforce this. I may have accidentally left my Flex pass on HOV mode while being a single driver, but it's honestly not something I would ever purposely try to cheat. It's dollar. It's a dollar 25 for dog's sake. By the way, I like it for.

[Andrew Walsh]

Dog'S sake because you said you were not charged that much. That's the. No, it was confusing because some of these, like this was a big thing. They were going to charge a lot for some of these lanes. Maybe you were just there during a time when it wasn't like peak pricing.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, it was a, you know, Thursday at 5pm it wouldn't get peakier than that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, but.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, and it was like a $25. It was like, like it was, it was very, very cheap.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Affordable. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

For how far that I went in that lane. But again, this also seems. So I guess that answers the question. You, you sort of, if you have this Flex Pass, you can kind of toggle it back and forth between carpool mode and I'm paying for this mode. I mean, it would be tempting to leave it in carpool mode, wouldn't it?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, but again, it's A$25. And if you believe in the system and that your dollars are going to go towards more improvements, it's a dollar.

[Luke Burbank]

25 for dog's sake. Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's. That's. That's right. I'm glad. Also I like that Stephen included a photo of this pass because again, I was getting a lot of emails, a lot of text messages from various people. Like again, some were very detailed, some were people just shooting off a quick text message and I couldn't figure out what they meant, like sliding it back and forth. And actually the Device. The little special good to go pass with the sliders. Actually kind of slick. I want to slide that back and forth. Slick.

[Luke Burbank]

But it gives me really. It sort of triggers me. Based on pregnancy tests.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, it does a little.

[Luke Burbank]

Really looks like a pregnancy test, which, as you probably know, I've had some adventures with.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, well, stop peeing on your good to go pass for starters, Steven. For dog's sake, Steven. Stop peeing on your good to go past.

[Luke Burbank]

We're pregnant. Is it a boy or a girl? It's an hov.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's a hot lane.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

I have some more updates here. I typed Dave Valley into Blue Sky. I was like, am I the only one who heard this? And I do have. I think they were maybe joking about box breathing at some point. Somebody.

[Luke Burbank]

I did hear him say that, and I liked it. It was in the background as my dad and I were talking, but I heard him say, this is where you got to break out your box breathing. And I do box breathing. And I thought that was cool. Coming from Dave Valley.

[Andrew Walsh]

I got one. One person who I follow here who is not a very negative person. In fact, this is the first kind of negative thing that I've seen her write. Is going to have to start practicing. Practicing my box breathing to get through the rest of Day Valley, which, wow, shots fired there, Claire. And then to love a Mariner podcast says, I' sure. I trust Dave Valley or Aaron Goldsmith to give dietary advice. I'm telling you, this. This. This section of the thing that went on for what seemed like a long time about, like, just telling people not to eat for four days and you'll find yourself incredibly focused and energized was really a trip. I'm just like, again, I wasn't looking for somebody to, like, bury the dude, but I'm like, I heard this right? I just need somebody to be like. Like, that was weird. And to love a Mariner podcast. Saw me, and I appreciate that.

[Luke Burbank]

Also, this. I mean, you know me. There's nothing like a fad diet that. There's nothing I enjoy more than a fad diet. But, like, I don't know if the intermittent fasting puts you into ketosis. I mean, it might cause you eating nothing, but that's usually a low carb thing. But the thing about being in serious ketosis is it's seriously bad on the breath because your body is. Is breaking down, I think.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, first of all, there's intermittent fasting, which started the conversation, because I think one of when there's a downtime in a Ballgame. I'm sort of just remembering how this developed now, because I think I walked into the room and it was just beginning. I think that Aaron Goldsmith really likes to talk about the soft serve ice cream machine that is available for the press in the Mariners, you know, like, broadcast booth or whatever, or wherever it's kept. And I think that that's sort of a go to when the. When the game is slow, like let's. Let's joke around about how much ice cream my colleagues eat or whatever. And so I think that started with Dave Valley. And then Dave Valley gave some answer that was like, no, I'm intermittent fasting right now. So I only had like some ice cream and now I won't eat again until tomorrow night or something like that. And there's a moment of silence and then Goldsmith says, wait, are you joking? And he says, no, no, I'm doing intermittent fasting. And so it starts as intermittent, which.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm saying I've been doing mittant fasting, just eating nonstop.

[Andrew Walsh]

But no, but then I don't think going four days without eating is intermittent fasting. That's just fasting. And so then the conversation kind of. Dave Valley's talking and he's like, yeah, my son got me doing this, so I just got off a four day fast or whatever. And now they're into it. And I think Goldsmith couldn't get back out of it. And that's where things got, I think, really weird when we just started talking about fasting. Fasting. And then he did not say ketosis. I want, you know, I want to retract this here. He said some word he said somewhere that he did not have a good handle on, which God bless. God bless. I understand that it was not ketosis. It was something that didn't even sound like ketosis, I don't think. And I was like, he's like, you. You slip into something called. And he said some word. And I'm like, are you talking about ketosis? But the word he said he butchered. And he said, I know, I'm getting that wrong. People can email in or whatever. And so I'm still trying to figure out in my memory if he was trying to say the word ketosis or if he's talking about something he probably. I mean, obviously he knows more about this world than I do. I've never gone an hour without eating. So anyway, yeah, exactly. So maybe I'm wrong about that aspect of it, but it was just a very weird moment that I thought got weirder and weirder.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I just wanted to say that this is where you can see my vanity and my insecurity colliding and. And trying to figure out which. Which thing am I more embarrassed about or which thing is driving me more from a vanity standpoint. Because certainly when you. When you don't eat any carbs, your body does go into something called ketosis, which, by the way, you could probably get from not eating for four days, because what are you not eating? Carbs.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's why I assumed that that's what.

[Luke Burbank]

So I'm not. I'm not. I'm not disagreeing with you. He very well might have been talking about ketosis, but what I was going to say is, you know, at different times in my life when I've been. Been feeling insecure about my weight and things like that, and I've been very like, well, I could just do this, you know, low carb stuff and then get into ketosis and then you start dropping the weight. But one of the things that happens is it can give you a very weird breath because your body is in this state that it's probably not really supposed to be in or not used to being in. And then it's a question of do I want to be a drop dead handsome thin boy with rocking breath or like a nice, pleasantly plump guy who has hopefully normal breath? And I literally decided I will never do that because of the breath implications. Like, I would much rather be a larger person in my body whose breath is not offensive to the people he's around.

[Andrew Walsh]

But you've done it before, right? Have you gotten.

[Luke Burbank]

I have, but not to the extreme. I mean, I have done it before and I've been the whole time worried about the effect on my breath. Yeah, honestly.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I remember those conversations. I think you work a little bit more into that or you were more ketosis curious back maybe when we were first hanging out.

[Luke Burbank]

I want that to be the show title and I want Curious to be with a K. Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

Not mother Tootin. Son of a biscuit.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, that's pretty good too. Maybe that. So we don't come off as like a diet advice show. Ketosis curious.

[Andrew Walsh]

1-800-Catarsis curious for kids. All right, Is that where we're leaving things today? Is that. Did you say. Is that enough?

[Luke Burbank]

Is that enough, please? Well, the list, I think they do. All right, thanks for listening, everybody.

[Andrew Walsh]

Would you please stop?

[Luke Burbank]

We. We will be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for all of you. So we hope you can join us for that. In the meantime, have a great Tuesday. Take care of yourselves. Hope the Mariners get it together today. Although I suspect they won't in the meantime. We'll see you tomorrow. Please remember, no mountain too tall, and.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good luck to all. Power out.