#4450 The Devil’s In The Detailing

Summary

Podcast Summary: TBTL Episode #4450 - "The Devil’s In The Detailing"

Release Date: April 22, 2025 Hosts: Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh

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Introduction to the Episode

In episode #4450 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live, hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh dive into a candid and humorous discussion centered around personal challenges, mental health, and the intricacies of everyday tasks. The episode, aptly titled "The Devil’s In The Detailing," intertwines lighthearted banter with deeper reflections on how mundane activities can significantly impact one's mental well-being.

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Car Detailing and Mental Health

The episode opens with Andrew sharing his recent struggles with maintaining his car's cleanliness and how it has adversely affected his mental health. He articulates the emotional toll that accumulated dirt and stains can have, stating:

• Andrew Walsh [04:30]: "I just feel like you might be able to understand how good I feel this morning... healthier people in our audience who don't have these sort of concerns around, I don't know, messes or things getting dirty."

Andrew elaborates on the deterioration of his car's interior, detailing various stains from everyday spills and the emotional weight they carry. This conversation serves as a metaphor for broader mental health issues, highlighting how external clutter can mirror internal chaos.

• Andrew Walsh [05:12]: "But all of that is to say it was just like a little bit here, a little bit there... because the car was too far gone. I was close to driving it off a cliff, honestly."

Car Wash Technology and Experiences

Transitioning from personal anecdotes, Luke and Andrew delve into the advancements in car wash technology. They discuss modern vacuum systems available at car washes, emphasizing their efficiency and user-friendly design.

• Luke Burbank [12:23]: "The vacuum technology of the drive-through car wash situation has... nothing more satisfying than the intense and possibly illegal suction power of one of these car wash vacuum things."

Andrew shares his positive experience with a specific car wash brand, noting how the ease of use and powerful vacuums have encouraged him to maintain his car's cleanliness more regularly. This segment underscores the importance of leveraging technology to alleviate personal stressors.

E Bikes and Personal Transportation

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Luke recounting his inaugural experience with an electric bike (E bike). He details the preparation involved, the ride itself, and the satisfaction derived from a seamless and enjoyable cycling experience.

• Luke Burbank [25:53]: "This bike so far is pretty dope... The real technological innovation in our life, Andrew, are the vacuum situations they've got which are free now."

Luke describes the E bike’s features, including gear shifters and assist modes, and how it has transformed his approach to daily transportation. The discussion highlights the benefits of E bikes in enhancing mobility and reducing reliance on traditional vehicles.

• Luke Burbank [27:53]: "This bike came with a headlight and a tail light, so I felt safe on the road."

Andrew reflects on the practicality of E bikes in his life, contemplating their potential role in replacing certain aspects of his current transportation habits. They explore the balance between investment, utility, and personal security concerns related to bike theft.

Impact of Mariners Game on Mood

The hosts share how the outcome of a Mariners baseball game significantly influenced their moods and overall day. Luke recounts a memorable game where a late grand slam shifted his perspective positively.

• Andrew Walsh [38:42]: "When Rowdy Tez hits an unexpected grand slam... it just puts a little sparkle on everything else in your day."

This segment underscores the emotional resonance sports events can have on individuals, offering a reprieve from daily stresses and fostering a sense of community and joy.

COVID Testing Discussion

Towards the latter part of the episode, Luke discusses his experience with a new COVID-19 home test kit sent by Pfizer. He provides a step-by-step account of using the device, highlighting its unique battery-powered features and the challenges encountered during the testing process.

• Luke Burbank [49:48]: "I took the first one... it has blown my mind... if you want to know how the 1% COVID test, I'm here to tell you all about it."

Andrew engages in a lighthearted conversation about the practicality and efficiency of such tests, comparing them to older methods and pondering the necessity of advanced technology in everyday health monitoring.

• Andrew Walsh [51:23]: "This thing is like a little breathalyzer... it's hard to sense that because it's your own biome."

The discussion serves as a commentary on the evolving landscape of personal health tools and the broader implications of technology in managing health crises.

Community and Listener Engagement

The episode also features interactions with listeners and donors, enhancing the community-oriented atmosphere of the show. Notable contributions include messages from listeners like Elizabeth and Jesse, who support the show and share their own experiences and suggestions.

• Elizabeth [41:05]: "Could you play an AI-generated dance club song that says that's Bat Shit in the clear so I can record it?"

Andrew and Luke respond to these messages with enthusiasm and humor, further solidifying their bond with the audience and showcasing the interactive nature of their podcast.

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Conclusion

"The Devil’s In The Detailing" encapsulates the essence of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live—a blend of humor, personal reflection, and engaging conversation. Through discussions ranging from mental health and car maintenance to innovative transportation solutions and health testing technologies, Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh offer listeners a relatable and entertaining exploration of daily life’s complexities.

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Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Walsh [04:32]: "Everything else is going smoothly, so let's freak out about something significant."

• Luke Burbank [12:25]: "There is nothing more satisfying than the intense and possibly illegal suction power of one of these car wash vacuum things."

• Andrew Walsh [25:53]: "This bike so far is pretty dope. Like, you were wondering about its functionality and stuff."

• Luke Burbank [49:48]: "This thing is called the Lukira by Pfizer. You probably Google it."

• Andrew Walsh [38:42]: "When Rowdy Tez hits an unexpected grand slam after he's grounded into a double play... it just puts a little sparkle on everything else in your day."

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For listeners seeking an authentic blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and insightful discussions, TBTL continues to deliver engaging content that resonates with everyday experiences.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

We must get him out before daybreak. Well, and that's the thing with these.

[Andrew Walsh]

Night walkers here, isn't it? You know, a little bit of sunlight, poof.

[Luke Burbank]

They go up in flames. I've never gone poof. But that's okay. Not yet. The vampires are always like, oh, I'm a vampire. I'm immortal. I'm whatever. Well, okay, how about you go be immortal at brunch?

[Andrew Walsh]

TBTL.

[Luke Burbank]

Is the length, the shag, the.

[Andrew Walsh]

Anything can happen, but frequently nothing does.

[Luke Burbank]

Nature of a lot of popular podcasts.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that a bug or a feature?

[Luke Burbank]

All right, this guy ran with Thaddeus Spinks. He was one of the eight balls.

[Andrew Walsh]

In Mookie Kramer and the Eight Ball. I don't know. This doesn't sound like anything. He played the alto sax with a kink in it.

[Luke Burbank]

She was a shake dancer. She did the hoochie kutch. And right on you, Midnight cowboys. That's not a thing. Well, all right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone. Tuesday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

[Andrew Walsh]

There's a waste of time to do that.

[Luke Burbank]

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. No, you don't. Oprah coming to you from Los Angeles, California.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm sorry, I'm tan. I like to be tan. It just feels good.

[Luke Burbank]

More specifically, Beverly Hills. Ish. Sounds expensive. I'm staying at this hotel that's listed as being in Beverly Hills, maybe just because as a kid, one of the first movies I was able to sneak off and watch was Beverly Hills Cop. So it was very ingrained in me that Beverly Hills is really, you know, as my friend Brianne would say, farting through silk. And so when the Lyft got me here to the hotel last night, and I realized that this is an extension of the Beverly Center Mall and also the Gold's Gym that's across the street. I was. I was let down. I thought I was gonna be in fancy town, and I'm just in kind of regular LA town. But that's all right, my friends. I don't need anything extravagant to bring you episode 4450 in a collector series.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let the fun begin.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, speaking of extravagance, though, I'm off to do a TV interview after this with Seth MacFarlane, the family guy guy. And there's many, many levels of management for this whole thing. And some of them decided they wanted everyone to take Covid tests, which is absolutely fine, but they couriered over a COVID test to me this morning that has blown My mind. If you want to know how the 1% COVID test, I'm here to tell you all about it. So we'll get into that and I'm sure a bunch of other fun things, including a couple of updates on the TBT episode from yesterday. We have had some, some tradioing going on. We've had some commerce and other things which we can talk about. Oh, and we're going to talk to this guy. Longest running cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hi, Goldfish darling. Do you like it?

[Luke Burbank]

He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning, Luke. This is not a story about cleaning. This is a story about mental health and the human condition. I'm here for it. I had, you know, I should start a podcast about cleaning and maybe I should put this content there. But very, very briefly, I just feel like you might be able to understand how good I feel this morning. Because all winter there's been something that has been getting dirtier and dirtier and grosser and grosser. And it was dragging me, well, certainly that, but it was dragging me down mentally in a way that, like, I know that there are healthier people in our audience who don't have these sort of concerns around, I don't know, messes or things getting dirty. And that's good. I'm glad that you have a healthier mind. But somehow all this winter, as my car got worse and worse in the interior, not just from, like the usual tracking wet shoes and boots in and out, but from, like, me using that car as a bit of a workhorse for my volunteer gig. And, like, constantly, like, the seats were stained because I would, like, have a tote bag that I didn't realize coffee had spilled in. And I put that on the back seat. And it was just getting worse and worse to the point where. And I know that I should not be attaching my mental health to something that just needs a cleaning. But like, I was telling, what else?

[Luke Burbank]

But in this day and age, what else can we attach?

[Andrew Walsh]

Right. Exactly. Everything else is going smoothly, so let's, let's freak out about something significant. But I, I was telling V's. I'm like, this is beyond me. About once or twice a summer, I'll like, kind of wash the car and detail the car to the best of my ability and really get in there and clean it. But I was telling her this winter, I'm like, this is beyond me. Like, we need to have, we need to call in.

[Luke Burbank]

Is there a Jason Statham movie where he's a detailer?

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. I mean, that's who you need. I was like, we need to have the upholstery cleaned. Cleaned. Like this is stained. At one point, I put a borrowed. A chainsaw in the back seat. A little electric chainsaw that seemed very clean. This was like two years ago. But it left a big oil stain when it tipped over. And I'm like, oh, yeah, those things have oil in them.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I wouldn't have thought. You're right. Because I guess even though the power to the motor is electric.

[Andrew Walsh]

Boogie woogie woogie.

[Luke Burbank]

It still needs to be lubricated. Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now, luckily it wasn't a big black oil slick. It was clean oil from inside the machine. But all of that is to say it was just like a little bit here, a little bit there. There was a splash of hot chocolate on kind of the plastic by the feet of passenger. Like when you're getting in the car. Not a big. Like that is something you could wipe with a paper towel. But like, I couldn't. It got to the point where I could totality. I couldn't even wipe up that little stain there, that little dribble on the plastic because the car was too far gone. I was close to driving it off a cliff, honestly. But again, maybe that ties into some other things. But yesterday.

[Luke Burbank]

Plus you only have liability. And so that would have been a really, really bad decision.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, no, I just took out a huge, huge. What do you call it?

[Luke Burbank]

Very normal.

[Andrew Walsh]

Very.

[Luke Burbank]

Not suspicious.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exact. And I'm going to let Bingo drive. We're going to go driving around.

[Luke Burbank]

Toots is the driving.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. Okay, you see where this is going. That is to say, yesterday I woke up, it was a Monday. I was really looking forward to our Monday off because I had kind of worked kind of a busy week and had a lot of stress leading up to Saturday's live broadcast. And we were making the live broadcast the stream that we did on YouTube on Saturday, our Monday show. And I will say, when you wake up on a Monday and like I slept in late, I love. That's the whole point of me having a day off. I love to stay up super late. So I stayed up late on Sunday, woke up like at 10 o'clock, read for an hour. The cat was on my lap. But it's a Monday, right. Everybody else is at work. And so I had the reverse of the feeling when we have to work on a holiday. I just had guilty feelings, like I should be Doing something.

[Luke Burbank]

I had the same feeling yesterday because.

[Andrew Walsh]

Everybody else was working and I didn't.

[Luke Burbank]

Know what to do with myself. Exactly. I mean, I had to work in the afternoon for my other jobs, but I had, like, I woke up, you know, a little bit earlier than 10, but I was just in bed, and I kind of thought, like, what do I do with myself? I had about three hours that I normally don't have. And I was like, okay, what even is life right now? Which is weird. I don't feel like I'm wired that way, but that I had an ennui yesterday of not doing this show with you.

[Andrew Walsh]

I had a weird. Yeah, like, kind of. Because I look, I've been looking forward to this day off for so long. And then I was like, don't let the guilt creep in. Like, I did have to get the show posted, but it was an easy job because we didn't have any breaks or anything. It was very quick, easy. Upload of the show yesterday. And then, you know, I'm getting emails, just like, both personal business stuff, like our stuff about my tax filing. And also I'm seeing important emails come into the TBT email account. But I'm like, I'm not dealing with that. Today's my day off. Like, get. Don't sit behind this computer, you know? And so anyway, I just want to say that I ended up having a wonderful day because it was the perfect combination. Once I shook off that little bit of, like, kind of guilty feeling for not working, I had the perfect combination of, like, luxuriating, sleeping in late, cooking too big of a breakfast at noon or whatever. What'd you go for? I made myself little breakfast tacos, but, like, with a little polish spin on it with onion and pepper chopped up kind of small, put on little, you know, with egg and then into taco shells. Anyway, and then I did the perfect thing, which is like, that car. Like, the sun came out. It was a beautiful day, but it wasn't super warm. It was like. It was like, perfect, like, if I have to be outside a working weather. And so I was like, today's the day car, and I'm not gonn me, like, four hours. I mean, a big part of the job is just getting everything out there. The shop vac, the. The handheld vac, you know, I didn't.

[Luke Burbank]

Know where this was going. So you did this yourself? I thought you. I thought this story was. You drove it to Brown Bear Carwash and turned it over to the professionals.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, because I kind of didn't know where to go. Because I don't think. Do they do that at Brown Bear? I don't think so.

[Luke Burbank]

I think so. Actually, you know what? I don't. I don't really know. I know the place that I will go about once a year in the Portland area, which is called Wash man, which sounds like.

[Andrew Walsh]

What do they do?

[Luke Burbank]

Character. It's unclear, but. Okay. So you actually did this yourself?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, and I apologize. Honestly. This is supposed to be like three minutes of me telling you I cleaned my car, but I went out there yesterday and I. Like, by the end of the projects, I keep on dragging out more and more tools. Right. Like, I want the floor mats. We have, like, so the winter rubber floor mats. So I pull those out, I hose them down, but they're not clean enough. So I have to fill a bucket with fabuloso soap and water, and I'm scrubbing them with a broom, hosing them down, and I'm vacuuming the house up and down. I don't even know that reference. It's probably a dirty.

[Luke Burbank]

It's always sunny. You hose this. A hose job. You hose job. And me. You hosed yourself. You hosed yourself up and down.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I did.

[Luke Burbank]

I believe I only know that drop because of you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Really? No, I don't. I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

That was in an intro package or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't think so. I don't think so. But anyway, my apologies to rap. I said that was probably from a dirty rap song and it wasn't. And I besmirched the entire genre. But it did take me a long, long time. Luke. At one point, I had. I had Q tips out there with me. I'm not going to lie.

[Luke Burbank]

G, the rapper from Quest.

[Andrew Walsh]

Don't besmirch the genre.

[Luke Burbank]

He was wandering by and he was like, hey, do you need help with that?

[Andrew Walsh]

But I. My mental health is so much better today.

[Luke Burbank]

Awesome.

[Andrew Walsh]

Because I just clean. And a lot of this I took. You know, I think I've recommended this to you before. There is a really good spray that gets stains out of things. And how am I blanking on the name of it right now? I'll think of it when I round up. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

You just doused the entire interior.

[Andrew Walsh]

Folex is what I'm thinking.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you for that joke. It gave me my brain a second to calm down. Folex is the spray that does a really good job with stains. And these were the kind of stains on the upholstery. We have very light upholstery, which was A mistake. And so these were the kinds of stains where it's kind of like you could just see the outline of where things had gotten damp and dried. So it's not even like a stain stain. It's more of a. I don't know where the shores washed up into our upholstery. But all of that is to say I cleaned the hell out of it. I'm not sure how much of those stains really came out. I have to. So we kind of look at it today after everything fully dries out, but the car is clean. And I join you today with a better state of mind than I probably joined you for six months or so.

[Luke Burbank]

I love hearing that. I'm in a little bit of a similar situation with my vehicle, which I finally took down to the car wash. And it's also. It may be a washman down in Longview, Washington. I think it might be the same company. But if I could just say this, Andrew, now I know exactly what you're talking about. Where it's like the car's getting really cruddy, but it's like, for one thing, you don't really want to wash the exterior because it's like the weather is still lousy and it's like this is going to last for three days and it's also getting worse and worse in the interior. And you're like, I'm just going to wait until I'm willing to dedicate an afternoon to this. I get that impulse. But let me tell you, the vacuum technology of the drive through car wash situation has. I mean, forget your starlinks, forget your boss bitches going to space. The real technological innovation in our life, Andrew, are the vacuum situations they've got which are free now. They are at your.

[Andrew Walsh]

So this is the way Watchman's just giving it away for free.

[Luke Burbank]

I think this is where the industry is going. And I know this because I was watching something on TikTok a while ago. I ended up on car wash ownership. TikTok for a while, Andrew. People that had purchased car washes. And we're kind of taking you through the financials of it and one of the guys said, oh, we're switching over to this new system that everyone's doing, which is basically instead of those coin op, you know, the typical car wash vacuum situations that we're all used to. I think where the industry is going is it's a little bit more expensive to take your car through that tunnel of love, but then it's free to vacuum your car. They just have A bunch of these vacuums. And what's really amazing is the vacuum hoses are on these long, sort of cantilevered. I don't even know what you'd call them, sort of like poles that mean you can get to any part of your vehicle with them with minimal hassle. And there's two of them, so you could just do one side of your car and then you hang the. And the vacuum just going all the time, just running. When you pull it out of, you literally unsheathe it like it's a lightsaber that you're, you know, about to battle Darth Vader with. And it's just working, and it's got. There is nothing more satisfying than the intense and possibly illegal suction power of one of these car wash vacuum things. You know, they're just like. And when you. When you. And I'm sure you were getting the same experience at your house, but. But when you pull, like, the floor mats out and it's just getting all of the pine needles and, like, did I have sunflower seeds? Okay. It's just like. That is so gratifying. My point in all this is what. What I'm trying to start doing now is hitting the car wash a little more frequently. I guess maybe this is a plug for big car wash, but, like, there's something about how easy those vacuum cleaners now are and how it's free again at the one that I go to that I'm finding myself going to the car wash a little bit more. And I don't get the, like, fancy car wash. I get the cheapest one. They have, like, the exterior Washington. And then I just kind of, like, take five minutes and I vacuum it out. And I'm finding that more of my life is spent in a car that's less depressing for me because of my relationship with how it's being washed. So I'm just throwing that out there. It's pretty amazing what's going on in the car wash.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think that's more usually me because, like, I know that, by the way, I did not wash the exterior of the car yesterday. This was just the inside. But, like, I know that it was, like, about, I don't know, three months ago. I know I took the car to one of those, which you're probably not supposed to do if you care about your car. But, you know, our car's a 2017 Golf. That, again, is a bit of a workhorse. But I took it in one of those Clean your Clean it Yourself booths. Yeah, you know, I don't know why I called it a booth. Madonna.

[Luke Burbank]

I know what you mean.

[Andrew Walsh]

Madonna was there, and I had.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, you were River Phoenix. And the little door kept going down.

[Andrew Walsh]

River Phoenix.

[Luke Burbank]

I believe that is famously a young River Phoenix.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, you might have told me that before, and I totally forgot about it. But, yeah, no, I took it to one of those things and like, scrubbed it up. So I. And I'm not. Not totally against that something happened, by the way.

[Luke Burbank]

Andrew, can I just say, I think those are good. I think when you said you don't know about the environment, I think that the idea is.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, not the environment. I think. I think people say, like, you shouldn't use those brushes and stuff on your car. No, no. What you shouldn't do, and I didn't do this yesterday for people who care, is you're not supposed to really wash your car in the driveway. I. I basically wash the inside of my car, like, very, very.

[Luke Burbank]

By the way, it does not matter that the sorority is going to lose its funding if this bikini car wash is not a success, that it plays no part in the decision of whether or not to wash your car at your. In your home environment, even if it's the only way to save the sorority.

[Andrew Walsh]

And while we're on this subject, yeah, I was in a bikini yesterday while I was detailing the car as well.

[Luke Burbank]

Your life, your choices.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. Give them a show, is what I always say, you know? You know me, I always say that. So anyway, yeah, yesterday was just an insight, but there was something specifically about the car, because that experience you just described, I feel like in the past, I've done that more. I remember being in the Shoreline Brown Bear vacuuming out my car, like maybe a year ago or something. But something had just crossed a line with me in this particular instance, and it might have been the more and more stains on the upholstery itself and me not knowing if my Folex was even gonna take it out or if I was gonna have to get. Like, I have one of those extraction vacuum cleaners that uses the actual cleaning solution. But the thing is, and this is going on, but here's one thing I should say. We talk about how I like cleaning, and sometimes that's true, and sometimes that's not. I definitely like things to be clean. And then sometimes I like some cleaning tasks. Like the other day I was playing darts. I saw something on the floor that I had dragged in on my shoes, like a leaf or something. And so I grabbed the vacuum. The next Thing I know, I think this was actually Sunday night. It was pretty late Sunday night. I was like vacuuming every corner of this basement. I took apart my office and vacuumed everything. That was like, I was listening to my podcast and I was in the zone. And that felt. That was a fun project for me. Cleaning the inside of a car is never a fun project for me. Like, I'm a big guy. Cars have a bunch of small weird angles, like trying.

[Luke Burbank]

There's a lot of chance to actually kind of hurt your hand, like kind of pinch your hand and things. I've noticed when you're reaching under the seat and stuff.

[Andrew Walsh]

And you don't realize just how like kind of weird a windshield is until you're trying to clean the inside of it and you're going around the good to go pass and you're behind the mirror. You know what I mean? Like, did your dad you to use.

[Luke Burbank]

Newspaper when you were a kid to clean?

[Andrew Walsh]

I heard about this later in life. I've never done that. It sounds. You would think I would just try it once, but I'm. It sounds so bonkers to me. I refuse to try it. I just thinking about what my hand would look like afterwards.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, yes, the hand gets dirty, but the window gets clean. Yeah, I don't know. Actually, I don't even know. I just know that that's what. No, not anymore. Because honestly, like, I mostly go to the place where they do it now, I guess. But like, I just remember doing, you know, working for my dad and having various tasks, including kind of cleaning out his work van sometimes. And then when it was him teaching me, when you mentioned the windshield, it reminded me of this. Him being like, you spray this probably Windex or whatever, and then you use newspaper to clean the Windex off. Because I guess if you were to use a paper towel, it would probably leave maybe some. A little bit of fuzzy stuff behind. Something fibrous. But the newspaper doesn't do that because of how it's made or something. But yeah, it's weird. You think you' be leaving half of a like Hagar the Horrible on your windshield, but somehow you don't.

[Andrew Walsh]

I, well, I use. I do not use newspaper to clean my windshields, but I do use it to clean my Silly Putty. And you know, I don't know if that's a good idea or not. Anyway, sorry to drag kids of America.

[Luke Burbank]

Onto that, by the way. You know, we talk about they're not thriving. It's because they're not doing enough Silly Putty on cartoons.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, you know, that one time. And I don't mean as a child. I mean as an adult, because I think I was either. Yeah, I think it was when I was first dating Genevieve, potentially when I maybe even was in Boston. And the week that I first met Genevieve, I remember buying some Silly Putty at a store and being very excited about it, but then at one point, just putting it in my pants pocket. Sans egg.

[Luke Burbank]

Sans egg.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, I don't know what. Maybe I was just, like, all, like, loopy over having a crush on Genevieve. I don't know what it was. But I'll tell you what, this is not a good courting mood to be like, what is this? And pull out of my pleated Dockers. My pleated dockers. I pull out the Silly putty that.

[Luke Burbank]

I would say some room temperature gummy worms would be the only thing up there in terms of unappealing things to pull out of your pocket to your new love interest.

[Andrew Walsh]

It really does seem like a far side cartoon, like the courting dance of the 2001 nerd or something, me pulling that out.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I'm really glad that yesterday you sort of. Well, I'm glad you got to have your Sunday night the way you wanted. And then yesterday was, like, relaxing but productive day. I had a kind of a similar day on Sunday, so I spent Saturday going ham on my yard, including, like, mowing down and tearing out this. I have this raised garden bed that last year I did the same thing. I rototilled it, and I tried to kind of, like, mend the soil and plant some vegetables, and it kind of worked. But one, the deer definitely had me outsmarted in terms of how high they can jump to get over things. And they were just going in there and eating. And at some point, I just made it like a free. It was sort of like a food bank for the deer. I was like, guys, just go for it. So this year, ultimately, I'm going to build some raised beds, which I need to do soon because we're in planting season. And I'm going to kind of build up this kind of gate thing that's going to be taller and more deer proof. But first I had to get that whole area, like, cleared out again because over the course of the winter and everything more like grass and weird small trees and stuff had grown up. So I had to basically tear it all back down to the ground, cover it with really thick fabric, you know, like landscaping fabric. And then I'm going to eventually put in the raised beds, and then I'M going to gravel around the raised beds so that I will never have to deal with the stuff that's growing underneath again, hopefully. While I was doing this, by the way, Andrew, I was listening to a tremendous Mariners comeback that I only knew was happening thanks to maybe it was dftb.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is Sunday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday.

[Luke Burbank]

I was like, I didn't even know they were playing. I thought they were playing later in the day. And then I just see a text on the criminals that's just like, here comes the, here comes the walk off hit. And I was like, oh, wait, they're playing. And then I turn it on. It was a super fun game, but I'm out there just like slogging away trying to get this, all this gardening stuff done, or at least landscaping. And so anyway, I toiled on Saturday and then I relaxed on Sunday and it was a decent. No, actually, that's not true. It was not a decent day, weather wise. It was kind of rainy, but then in the afternoon it got a little bit better and I realized it is finally time for me to get on this E bike and E bike my way down to town. And so I did. And now if people, if they missed the show or they don't remember, I had ordered this, this E bike and also this like kind of fancy ish helmet which has like lights on the front and back and whatever and this whole thing. And it was like very much the way that I operate, which was I decided, hey, it might be nice in the summertime to ride a bike more and to go down and use that as a way to get down to town and maybe pick up groceries or have some dinner or something. But instead of like, I have a bike, but instead of just using the bike that was in my basement, I'm like, yeah, but what if it was an E bike so I could go back up the hill with a little bit more ease. And what if I had a special backpack that I could put my helmet in when I and my lock when I, you know, when I'm riding down there, I'll have the lock in there. And then when I get to the place, then I'll take the lock out of the backpack, I'll lock up the bike, I'll put the helmet in the backpack, I'll take out my Astoria, Oregon hat that put that on. Like, I'm all about all these systems that involve acquiring things long before I ever do the thing that I'm thinking about, which is not a great system. But anyway, Andrew, Sunday, the system absolutely Came together. I got on that E bike, I put on my fancy helmet, I strapped on my backpack, I threw my kryptonite lock in the backpack and other various things. I put in my little headphones. I listened to slaughter beach Dog as I rode my bike down to the McMinnamins down in Kalama, Washington. And it was so much fun. I've been on an e bike like, one time before this. Me and Addie. One time, I think it was like Father's day weekend. We rented some in Seattle. But this was the most fun bike riding experience I've probably had in my life. And I used to ride my bike constantly as a kid. It was how I got around. Like, these things are so flipping cool. First of all, it's just the best functioning bike I've ever ridden. You know, it has. It. It's a gear shifter on there. What I realized was I almost always had, like, janky 10 speeds where, you know, when you'd, like, try to shift gears and it'd kind of be going. It'd be like chunking between the gears and it. Half the time the chain might come off or it just was just the, you know, the. Whatever they call that, the gear shifter or something just was never very smooth on the bikes that I had had. I was always. I mean, this thing is so intuitive when you shift the gears. It's got like. Like three different modes of giving you a little bit of assist. There's like a eco mode, which I think is the least amount of help. And then there's sport, and then there's the red one, which is like, okay, we're just gonna do. Let go and let. God. We'll just do this for you. And anyway, like, yeah, I wrote it down there. I had a little dinner. The sun was setting. I went and sat by the river, which is funny because I can see the river from my house. But now this is at the waterline of the river. So I was like, let me experience this river from every perspective that exists. And then I got back on the bike, and again, my whole system worked. I got to the restaurant, I took my helmet off, I put it in the backpack so I didn't look like a weirdo. And then I put my hat on, and I went in and I had some nice little dinner, Little salmon, something or other, and then went back out. My bike was not stolen. I did take a picture of it to send to you, But I thought, andrew doesn't need a picture of my locked up bike at the McMiniman with.

[Andrew Walsh]

Pee Wee Herman esque with the chain, just pulling and pulling this. The McMinimans that I went to during the fan a couple of years ago. Last year.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. So it's. Is it like. Am I remembering. Is it like a. Like a rustic take on tiki parts?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. Very good memory. It is.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's. It's.

[Luke Burbank]

I guess you could say, sort of Polynesian sort of plantation style. I know that's a kind of a complicated. Complicated word to use, but I do think that's the actual architectural kind of approach. But, yeah, so I timed it. It's exactly 23 minutes to ride there, which is great because it's, you know, pretty easy to get there. And then I. I did the whole thing in reverse. I. You know, I. I got my little. Oh, and the other thing is, this bike came with. It comes with, like, a. A headlight and a tail light, so I felt safe on the road. My helmet had lights on it, so I was like, you know, because it was starting to get dusky out there, and jumped on and rode back. And then the big test was because I live kind of on top of this hill. And that was the whole reason for the E bike situation, was like, can I get back up the hill with. You know, without having to get off the bike and push it? And the answer is, mostly I did. I got up the hill with it in, like, the most assist mode that it has. I will say I was still feeling it in my glutes the next day. Like, even with this thing giving me all of the assistance that it could and me on the, like, you know, when you're, like, on the smallest gear, so you're pedaling, like, 33,000 revolutions and you're going almost nowhere because it's making it easy. Even with that all going on, I was definitely, like. I was noticing how steep the final hill to my house was. But even so, I mean, it would have been unrideable for me if I didn't have the E assist. And it was fine. It was about five minutes of hard work. And then I was home and hung my bike back up on the weird Danish bike rack that I got. Took the battery out, set it to recharge, and it was just. It was so gratifying.

[Andrew Walsh]

Next April.

[Luke Burbank]

How dare you? Probably. But anyway, no, it was. I. It was really, really. It was really fun. And. And again, kind of. Kind of a nice experience to know that all of this. This stuff I'd been planning and accumulating and systems that I was putting in place totally worked out. It like, totally worked. And I'm. As soon as I get back home, which isn't going to be until Sunday night, the next time I'm home and it's a nice evening or afternoon, I'm hitting that bike again. I'm. I'm getting out there. I guess this is all really for your benefit, Andrew, which is to say this bike so far is pretty dope. Like, you know, you were wondering about its functionality and stuff. Again, I've taken it on two rides, but so far, so good.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I mean, I think for me, I mean, I know I would like an E bike in a perfect world, but being that it is a bit of an investment for me, I think the practicality has a lot to do with, like, where I'd be going with it. Like, if I. If I just think about my life right now and like, how I get around, like, you know, the past couple of weeks, let's just say, like, handful of bus rides, maybe like one Lyft ride back from the Eagles on a Friday or something, and then the occasional car. Like, if I got this bike, what would it, what would it replace in my life right now? Or maybe, maybe what it would replace would be time at home. Maybe I'd get out more. I don't think that's the case. But for me, it's also a big kind of theft issue for where I live. Just kind of like, not overnight. I mean, I could put it in my garage, but I just mean, like, where am I riding it and then. And then, you know, locking it up and leaving it for a few hours, depending on what I'm doing. And am I just obsessed with this thing?

[Luke Burbank]

Flashback backs to Valley City. Watching your movie, I thought of you when I locked this bike up at the McMinimans, which, by the way, zero. Almost zero chance of theft. Like, first of all, it's just like, not a place where there's a lot of foot traffic. The only people there are people who have either brought their children to play on the swing set or are going to get a, I would say, at best, decent plate of food minimums. And yet I was locking it up and I was like, totally thinking of you as a kid at the movie theater watching a movie, but being worried your bike was being stolen.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I guess so. I'm thinking. I'm literally. I don't know if this is really interesting, but I'm literally trying to think of, like, places I maybe would have taken the bike if I had it. So last week, I don't know if I mentioned this on the show, but I mentioned it to you at one point. There is an, like, kind of an early evening Mariners game. I. Oh, they must have been playing in Ohio. They're playing Cincinnati. So it's kind of early evening our time, or maybe late afternoon. And so I took the E Line up to Goldie's Shoreline Casino because they always have the game on. You can count on it. And, you know, I got some dinner and watched the game there, and I'm kind of thinking, like, do I want to lock this thing up at Goldie's Shoreline Casino? Probably not. Saturday. I will say this. This is actually kind of changing the subject. I'm just sort of thinking about my Saturday. You. And I got done with the live stream, the tradio live stream. And I was like, pretty. I think I was pretty jacked up on adrenaline, I'd say a little bit, doing something live like that. And again, it was sort of the capper of a week of like, sort of like, will the technology work? Won't it, like, just sort of like, you know, I had a little bit of a sort of a. I don't know what to say. Like, sort of a drop off after that show. I was like, who? Okay, now what? Right? And I'm like, oh, my God, there's a Mariners game starting in, like, 10 minutes. And I didn't realize that. And, like, I was like, well, I'm really hungry. I'm, like, a little bit still, like, in my head from doing that live show. Like, where should I go? So I go to this, like, newish sports bar in my neighborhood that we've talked about. The layout there is so terrible. And it's also. I know that it's one of the.

[Luke Burbank]

And that's in a. That's in the burial ground of the Mandarin Gate.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right, Exactly. And they recently reopened.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, is it Haunted by Frank? Is he there somewhere?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, the bartender? No, not that I know once watched Quit, but you would. If you walked in this place, you would feel like you're seeing ghosts. Like, I think that you'd see some recognizable faces from your time around here.

[Luke Burbank]

Oscar and Dex. Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

But not on a Saturday afternoon. And the thing is, like, this is a new place. Like, I give them credit for certain things. Their food has gotten a lot better. Like, it is. Is. It's developing into a bit of a community bar. A lot of people know each other. I like the. Well, I guess I like the vibe there. And it's called the Vibe. A terrible name for a bar, but they brag about being the sports bar and all these TVs that they have. But I don't know if I've mentioned this on the show, but they've set up the TVs in a way that like, it's clearly designed by somebody who's never gone into a bar to actually watch sports before.

[Luke Burbank]

Right.

[Andrew Walsh]

They have all these TVs along like the wall, but then they push the high top tables right below the TVs. Then they have some TVs sort of hanging in the middle.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, if you're bartending, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, no, it's probably pretty good for the bartender. Exactly. But the bartenders don't even know.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, considered a side hustle.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's also one of those bars where they'll like, the Mariners will have just gotten absolutely routed, but then they'll just leave the root sports station on and they'll show the replay of it and you're just like, you nobody care. Anyway, I go in there around.

[Luke Burbank]

Listen, Tom, Glasgow can't fix this for me right now.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, this is. Don't make me hate Glasgow. So anyway, I go into. I'm like, I'll walk over there, grab something to eat. But I go in and like the couple of TVs at the bar, both on like some, I guess the NBA playoffs are happening, so I guess that takes precedent. I say, the guy, do you have the Mariners game anywhere? He's like, yeah, those two TVs right over there. And like, I stand like. I'm like the one where there's like this one lonely high top table literally under the tv or another crappy looking table with like somebody's drink on it, like next to the pool table. Like, this is where I'm supposed to relax and eat a burger. I'm like, I just like, the bartender turned his back and I just like left us as like, zoinks. I'm not. It just seemed like such an uncomfortable. It's not the vibe I wanted.

[Luke Burbank]

No reason to force that upon yourself.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. So then I do have it at home. I could go home. I just had this idea of like, oh my God, the game is starting. I'm really hungry. I need to blow off some steam. So then I go up to this other bar way up on Greenwood that says it's open. It's a real. I don't use the dive. I don't use the word dive bar lightly. This is a true dive bar. They say they're open, but I go to open the door and it's locked. That seems about right. So you know where I end up. And this has nothing to do with E Bikes. I'm so sorry, but it ended up being such a pleasant experience. There's this little place that is like more of a convenient mart, sort of called a one hop shop right up there in Greenwood.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh sure.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I knew that they had a. I think I've done this once before. They have a tiny little.

[Luke Burbank]

Aren't they next to like a Lenny's Produce or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. It's got a little kind of quasi open air little market up there. There's a gyro shop, a hamburger shop or something. And then this place where you can go in and grab a six pack or chips or you know, whatever. Like it's a tiny little market, right. But then in the back they have this like little bar with maybe eight stools around it or something. I think a couple of regulars will go in there to get beers. And it's like a real, you know, they have a pretty. For such a tiny little bar, they have a pretty big list of like various beer. You know, must be for beer lovers. I'm not a huge, not a huge beer snob kind of guy, but they had the Mariners game on and I was like, can I just get a gyro next door and just plop here and watch the game? And then so I just sat there for like two or three hours or whatever. Watch the Mariners game. People came in and came out. They would watch an inning or two with me. I made some friends love it. And. And then when I'm leaving, I said to the guy who's like running the shop slash bar or whatever, I'm like, thanks for letting me hang out. He's like, I really enjoyed the company. Like, yeah, like anytime he had this playlist on Luke that you would have liked. A lot of generationals on there. Oh yeah. It was just like, hell yeah. Such a fun little. That's not. When I think about going to a bar to watch a game, that's not usually what I would gravitate towards. But when, when the universe pushed me there, I was like, what a fun afternoon. What a fun little neighborhoody way to watch this game. So that's not ridden the bike there, I guess is my point. I don't know what I'm talking about anymore.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, here's the, here's the thing. When, when I'm listening to you describe, you just have a lot of transportation options where you are.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, between public transportation, between rideshares, things like that. Like for me, the there's. There. Where I live. There's, like, none of that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, yes.

[Luke Burbank]

So that's where, like, if I wanted to, you know, if I wanted to be able to get somewhere and maybe if I was going to have a beer or something, as I do on the occasion, like, you know, it would be nice to be able to get back home. And there's no, like, you know, cab. There might technically be a cab in town, but all that is to say I'm solving for something that you don't really have to solve for. And also, like, I'm imagining you. I guess you could take surface streets, but, like, riding your bike from your house to Goldie's also kind of doesn't sound super fun.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, it does.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a lot of strodes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Just a tremendous high strode level of getting there. And, you know, I will say this one thing, and then we can.

[Andrew Walsh]

And we have those green bikes. I just want to say, too, like, it is not unusual for me to grab a green bike. Like, you don't have those. Like, literally, those sometimes, like, be outside my house. Like, sometimes there's one on your roof. Sometimes there's one on my roof. So sorry to interrupt, but, like, that's another good point.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, do you need to own one of these bikes? Or could you just jump on the app and probably find one, like, at the end of your block and then ride it somewhere and then park it without any fear of it being stolen, since you don't own it. Like, there's a. I mean, again, that's. You live in a city, and. And it's. You've got all of the advantages of. Of being in that city. So, yeah, I don't know if it really makes sense for you, but. But yeah, I'm so far, so good. Now the question is, is so if I. And again, sorry, we should thank some dazzling donors. And I should tell you, actually, what I need to do, Andrew, when we break for the dazzling donors, I need to go in the bathroom here at the hotel and check on my COVID test, which is both battery powered and takes a half of an hour to figure out if I have Covid or not. I need to go double check that and tell everyone if I'm allowed to go to the film shoot or not.

[Andrew Walsh]

I want to hear about this. Yeah, I have a lot of questions. I feel a poor man's COVID test doesn't take a half hour.

[Luke Burbank]

I know I don't. But all I was going to say is the next big question for me about this bike situation is. So I live kind of in this little triangle of. I live kind of between two places and the small, very quaint town that's closer to me is where that McMinimans is called Calama. And then the big city is like Kelso Longview. And that's a further ride, but there's more stuff to do down there. So now that I've. Now that I've ventured out to the close destination, I may venture out to the long destination and see how that treats me.

[Andrew Walsh]

So anyway, yeah, no, I am excited for you, by the way. Me just going on that weird, personal, sort of, I don't know, exploration of my transportation was probably unnecessary. But. No, you were awesome.

[Luke Burbank]

You were answering the question. But the other thing I'll say is, isn't it also a testament how nice your. Your Saturday was? Isn't it a testament to how much better it is if the Mariners win versus the Mariners lose?

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, really nothing can go that wrong. When Rowdy Tez hits an unexpected grand slam after he's. After he's grounded into a double play in the what, 10th? When he comes back in the 12th and hits a grand salami. Like, it just puts a little sparkle on everything else in your day.

[Andrew Walsh]

I, I take credit for that grand slam because I won't repeat it here, but I said the cruelest thing I can say about a baseball player on the text chain after he grounded out and somebody said dfam. And then I said something that does not mean David from the basement. Sometimes people confuse that.

[Luke Burbank]

Designate him for assignment.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right. Designate him for the basement. That's dfa.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. But anyway, and then after the base.

[Andrew Walsh]

We'Re just like, get rid of them. Just no more that. That he hits a game, essentially a game winning. No, Yeah, a game when you grand slam.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you get. Yeah, Game, game, game. What? Locking down, salting away.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But yeah, because the thing for me in that game and then I said this on the text chain that was perfect was I didn't know it was happening until it was getting into what ended up being the good part for us. So, for instance, I actually missed the part of the game where Rowdy to Lez grounded into a double play, therefore stranding runner that we needed to have score. Had I heard that, I would have been saying unspeakable things about him. Him. But I didn't. So the first that I knew of that was when he was up for his grand slam at bat and they said, tell us. Grounded into a double play last time. And I was Already getting mad at him, like, retroactively.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But I basically just came in and skimmed off the good part of that Mariners game and didn't have to go through any of the tumult of all the bad stuff that came before. So that's how I.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, you skipped the wedding, but you came to the reception is what I.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. Exactly. So, anyway, we was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle. On your mark. On your mark. Get set, get set now.

[Andrew Walsh]

Ready?

[Luke Burbank]

Ready, Go. Everybody rattle dazzle. All right, let's thank those dazzling donors. These wonderful, amazing, generous folks are donating to TBTL. They are making this possible. It's 100% listener supported. Until we get sponsored by the Lukira, by Pfizer, COVID 19 and Flu Home Test. Until we get that sponsorship money, we are going to be sponsored exclusively by folks like Elizabeth Tuchel, who's in Seattle, Washington.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hello, Elizabeth.

[Luke Burbank]

What up, Elizabeth? Elizabeth says, I just want to say thanks for doing the show. I continue to confuse my friends with references to something I heard on, quote, my podcast. But calling TBTL a podcast makes it feel too trivial. Really, Elizabeth, that's great. I feel like that might be giving us too much credit.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But did you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, man, there's nothing trivial about what I've contributed to the show today.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, we could go so far off the rails with this conversation. But I was listening to the Howard Stern show at some point in the last couple of days, and he is very, very. He has a very low opinion of podcasting. And so they did a bit with him, which is actually pretty funny, where the producers, they found some real podcasts and then they made up some fake podcasts, which they actually recorded, and then they had to play them for Robin Quivers. And she had to guess, is this a real podcast or a made up podcast?

[Andrew Walsh]

That's pretty fun.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, it was actually a very good bit. Again, it's all premised on the idea that podcasters just suck ass, all of them. And I feel like going, Howard, I'd put some of our stuff up against you describing Joe Walsh from the Eagles and his guitarmanship circa 1983. I would put. In fact, I would put up a lot of the stuff they were playing from real podcast.

[Andrew Walsh]

We would never talk about a guitar player from the Eagles on this show.

[Luke Burbank]

But anyway, they're playing these shows for Robin and one of them was our friend, my friend Ian Chillug's real show, Everything is Alive.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah. I Love that show.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. And they were, like, playing it for Robin. And it's like, this is a show where, like, people pretend to be things and this person's pretending to be a soda can. And then it's just Ian interviewing and I'm just dying as I'm driving because I'm like, this is both real and made by somebody I know. And they were just like, of course, kind of going off on it. And I was like, you fools.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's such a good show.

[Luke Burbank]

It's such a good show. It's such a good show. And it's definitely a podcast, like we are. Elizabeth, thank you for that vote of confidence. I am mostly a silent 10. This is Elizabeth again. But I still feel part of a wonderful community of listeners. I do have one request. Could you play AI generated dance club song that says that's Bat Shit in the clear so I can record it? I would love to have that song as a ringtone. So the longer the play, the better. I can't decide which is my favorite part. The guy saying, that's batshit when the beat drops or the ridiculously chipper MIDI like tones after. Anyway, keep up the great work, listener. Elizabeth.

[Andrew Walsh]

Andrew, you have no idea what Elizabeth is talking about.

[Luke Burbank]

I have literally no idea.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think this creeped into TBTL once. I think I played this for you, but it's something that I made for after these messages. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

There were a couple of commercials. Yeah, there were a couple of commercials that were. I mean, I just literally could not think of another word other than batshit as just. They were just so bonkers, these commercials. And so I told veeves I wanted to have a segment called that's Batshit. And this is like, I don't know, a year ago or something. I don't know. And so I did. Very seldom do I do this, but I turned to AI. I'm like, what if I asked it to make some theme music for a segment called that's Batshit? And this is what it came up with.

[Luke Burbank]

That's Batshit.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, Elizabeth, if you need more than that.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my gosh, dude, that actually really slaps.

[Andrew Walsh]

I remember you saying that last time.

[Luke Burbank]

That's really good.

[Andrew Walsh]

If you need more than that. First of all, I pray for your family and friends and anybody who's around you when your phone goes off. But you can also email me. I let that roll for a while, but I also felt like I could hear. Hear other people throwing their phones across the room. No, I can email you as well if you want. Elizabeth. Just hit me up andrew.net and I can send you the file.

[Luke Burbank]

There you go, Elizabeth. I hope that that was satisfactory and thank you for reminding me of the existence of that song. I actually really enjoyed it. Maestro.

[Andrew Walsh]

Don't say maestro yet because I have to switch over from. Okay, now I'm back in TBTL land. Here we go on your mom.

[Luke Burbank]

Maestro. Thank you. Perfect.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now ready, ready, go.

[Luke Burbank]

Everybody rattle dazzle. We've also got to thank Jesse Robbins in Seattle, Washington. Also. Wow, it's a hot zip.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is.

[Luke Burbank]

Jesse says hi, Luke and Andrew. It's Jesse from Seattle here. I've been a 10 since the radio days. I was a 10 of the week back in 2013 or 2024. Attended a live show in the U district and now I have the pleasure of being a first time donor. A dazzling one at that. Aw, Jesse, Thanks. Appreciate you. 1000 characters cannot express just how much you've helped me me. You've provided me with laughter, comfort and companionship through my highs and lows, through grad school, marriage and the birth of my children to divorce, single parenthood and the passing of my father. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Well, Jesse, first of all, really sorry to hear about the passing of your dad and also the ups and downs of life. Jesse says I can dazzle because my I own my own business and it's doing well enough to donate. For Seattle 10s who are looking, looking for purposeful fitness and want to feel safer and more confident, please come to a trial class at my self defense school. What? Krav Magra Central District. Dude, Jesse's a Krav Magra guy. Krav Maga that is.

[Andrew Walsh]

I've learned everything I know about that martial art from the TV show Archer.

[Luke Burbank]

And also don't mess with the Zohan.

[Andrew Walsh]

What is that?

[Luke Burbank]

I think that's an Adam Sandler movie where maybe somebody's in the Mossad. Isn't Krav Maga something that famously the Israeli Defense Forces are trained in? It's kind of like their their martial art of choice. It's a great way to sweat and learn a very practical skill in an inclusive community. Sign up for a trial class through our website Krav Maga CD or cdistrict.com so it's like so krav is K R a V and maga is M a G A and then it's C like Central and then district.comkrav magrav krav maga c district dot com. That's really cool. I feel like that's one of those things. It's kind of maybe a little bit. Jesse might not agree with this. It's kind of like jiu jitsu. It's one of those kind of grappling things where it's like, it could be very useful if you needed to extricate yourself from a situation where someone was trying to bear hug you or something weird was going on. It's a very useful kind of self defense. Like, it's not like, does it get.

[Andrew Walsh]

You out of a bad conversation? Like, let's say that you're at a party and I'm telling you all about where I went on Saturday to try to watch a baseball game. Could you just cross maga?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I could ankle pick you. I'd have you down in like a submission hold in just a matter of seconds. And Jesse will be able to teach you about that. Yeah. If you're in Seattle and you want to get, you know, get some information about Krav Maga, reach out to Jesse. Jesse, thank you so much for supporting tbt y'all. We could not do this without you. Hello and welcome to Top Story. Well, I don't know if this qualifies as a Top Story, Andrew, but if I've sounded. I didn't. I hope I didn't sound distracted during the donor segment, but I was trying to kind of multitask, which was. I was trying to open up a new package of this, this Pfizer COVID 19 flu test, home test, because so they mailed me two of these, they couriered me two of these, and I took the first one. I mean, I did the whole. It's just like. It's basically like the ones that we've all taken with the swab. Except the sample solution sits in this little kind of rectangle box that is battery powered. It comes with two. Actually, I should steal these batteries, bro. It comes with two brand new AA batteries, which is in and of itself kind of a value add. And you put these. This thing is called the, the Lukira by Pfizer. You probably Google it. And you put the batteries in this little thing and then you've got this little solution that you put in. And then you swab yourself and then, then you put the swab in there and then you set it and forget it. And it tells you 30 minutes later what the results are, which is odd because as you mentioned, like, I guess that's supposed to be the mark of quality that it takes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I was going to say. Yeah. What is the Upshot on this. The upshot is that it's more accurate. It's certainly not quicker, right?

[Luke Burbank]

No, in fact, it takes more time. And this is the thing. Okay? So right before we played the music for the dazzling donors, I ran off to the bathroom here in the hotel because that's where my, my, my results have been sitting the test. And I get this thing back, and all of the lights on it are.

[Andrew Walsh]

Flashing, which in a good way. In a healthy, Is it a healthy flash?

[Luke Burbank]

It's in an invalid test result way.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, no.

[Luke Burbank]

If positive and negative lights are flashing, if the result is invalid. So it's not just the positive and negative. It's every light on the machine is flashing. By the way, I, I, I would be very, very surprised to find out that I have Covid just based on, you know, my feeling, how I feel, which is great. And also the fact that I don't think I've been exposed to anyone. I think this is probably just one of those things. But they sent me a backup test kit. So what I'm trying to do is do the backup test kit right now, and maybe it'll give me a result by the end of the show. But anyway, so, so I'm doing this now live on, on the air. I'm going to take, I'm following the directions here. Let's see here. And I'm sorry, I know this is great radio. It's also extremely timely as everyone is out there. COVID testing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Swab both nostrils. Okay. Set up, test. Open battery, door, insert batteries. Done. Open the sample, then gently set the test unit. Do not push the vial down. Okay. So the test unit, the vial of, like, purple stuff, is now sitting in the machine.

[Andrew Walsh]

Purple stuff. Sorry. That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

That was a sunny D reference. Yep. I meant that that was used advisedly. Now, for this test to work properly, it's important to swab both nostrils. Okay. I'm taking out the, the little swab here. This is the kind of thing you like to use on your car. And I'm going 1.

[Andrew Walsh]

Actually, I used, I did use a.

[Luke Burbank]

Lot of COVID 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Wow.

[Andrew Walsh]

Gets up there.

[Luke Burbank]

Really takes you back.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, it does. I. While you've put that in there, I just want to say, I don't know why I was thinking about this. I was out with Genevieve on Saturday night with a bunch of. And I don't think I actually mentioned this, but somebody said something that just whooshed me into the past of. I just wanted to say to everybody, do you remember it was just a couple of years ago that we were literally waiting in line in our cars at a converted old EPA checkpoint so that a stranger in a white lab coat could stick their hand through the driver's side window and stick something up your nose. Like it's bananas that we were doing that. I'm not saying it was wrong. I'm just saying that I can't believe that we lived through that.

[Luke Burbank]

That I know. And it was weird the places that they used for those kind of, you know, pull up check sites because I think it was just like, well, what's available maybe what does this county own that's not being used at this kind of parking lot? But I remember Becca and I going to one on the outskirts of Portland that was just like. I'm like it was like the bombed out remnants of a Sherry's or something. And it's like pulling up to like what used to be a Sherry's but now it's just people in like Dustin Hoffman outbreak gear coming up to your vehicle. It was just like, man, this is peak, peak apocalypse right now. Like it's not even happening at some kind of high tech glass medical center. It's like happen to get the, you know, the like a cc's pizza or something. Okay, so here's where we're at with this now, Andrew. I've now kind of bummed I had to use the backup test. I totally wanted to just keep it for some reason because like it literally feels like a piece of technology in that it's battery powered. But we have now redone the test. We have swabbed the nose and have clicked down the little vial of stuff which you push it down which activates the whole system and now it's going to study our results. And maybe by the end of this show we may have an update. Although to be honest with you, if we stay on the air long enough for me to get the results of this, I will then be late to go to Seth MacFarlane.

[Andrew Walsh]

So what are you going to do? Can you take this thing with you in your. Are you getting like a ride share or something or do they have transportation for you? So you're just going to take this, take this technology with you and not go in until you get the results?

[Luke Burbank]

I mean I can also get tested there, I was told. So it might just delay our interview a little bit, but I'm just hoping that this thing decides to. I'm hoping that when they say it's a half hour, that's one of those things where they're erring on the side of caution and that it may be the case that we have to sign off. But that. And let's just say in 15 minutes or 20 minutes, I get a little. A little result from this thing which I can then, you know, send to them and be all good.

[Andrew Walsh]

We'll take a photo. Well, take a. Get a photo of me with it anyway. It's a thing that Genevieve and I say all the time based on an old, obscure SNL sketch. But get a photo of that thing that I can use as the show pick. Cause I'm having trouble picturing it with the lights flash. I mean, I don't know if you can make the lights flash again, but.

[Luke Burbank]

I made sure the lights haven't stopped flashing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh. Try to get with the lights flashing.

[Luke Burbank]

And also side by side.

[Andrew Walsh]

This means. I mean, this is the most Andrew Sl. Walt thing to say. But, like, so if nothing else, you. You got four double A's out of this, or did you have to take the batteries out of one and put it back in the other? Are they just. They're just going through batteries.

[Luke Burbank]

They both came with their own batteries, which is part of why my instinct was to definitely save the second test.

[Andrew Walsh]

Love that.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, the box. I was like, I mean, at. Again, the double A batteries alone, and then. But now they're both in use. But I'll tell you this. Once the second one comes back, Negativo. I am harvesting all of the batteries out of both of them and throwing those in my road kit.

[Andrew Walsh]

Man. It's also good. I mean. Yeah, absolutely. First of all, this thing does not take that much battery power. I'm surprised it even takes two double A's apiece. Or am I just making that up? Like, a stomper could work with one AA battery. This test takes two.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. And I don't know what it's doing right now to this purple junk, but it's really, really. It's really thinking about it. I don't know if it's. If it's. It's not. Can't be centrifuging it. Like, I don't understand what the. Why it needs electronics. Because it's. It's basically very similar to the thing we've all done now a hundred times in our life. You do the nasal swab, you put it down in the solution, and then you. The solution is gonna. You know, it's gonna have a reaction one way or the other to what's in the swab. I don't know why this thing needs Electricity as part of it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. I don't know. I'm thinking you had stomp. Did you have stompers? You know of stompers?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, Andrew, I interviewed the guy who invented stompers, weirdly enough. Which.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Which was funny because I wasn't really a stompers kid. I mean, I remember seeing the commercials, but, like, that was the thing I was most geeked up about when I was interviewing this guy down somewhere in California, this inventor. Oh, he invented the chattering teeth.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, right. Yes, yes.

[Luke Burbank]

That was his big thing and stompers. But so I do. I do kind of have a sense of stompers now, having seen them with the guy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, one battery, my friend. This was a tiny little, like, you know, like, what would you call. They didn't call them SUVs back in the day. They were like blazers or whatever those, like, trucks were. Remember blazers? Remember Chevy blazers? Stompers were like little trucks like that that you could put one battery in and just hit go on them, and they would just drive over anything they were about that. You could fit them in the palm of your hand. Now, they did not detect Covid. So far as I know it did. One of my stompers did tell me I'd halitosis once, but I'm not sure if that was. That was.

[Luke Burbank]

By the way, why is there not a test for that?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, there is. It's called talk to your friend.

[Luke Burbank]

No, but, like. Well, but there kind of isn't, honestly, because it's a complex conversation, and obviously, like, you know, that's could be a really difficult conversation to have with someone if you are their friend. It could be a difficult conversation to be on the receiving end. Like, does anybody make that? I would. I would definitely consider if somebody made, like, a reverse banaka blast. Okay. So it's just like a little, like, one. One hitter, but you blow into it. It's like a tiny breathalyzer. But what it. What it tests is, like, how funky is your breath?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And then it just, you know, just kind of rates it or something, because that is. I was talking about this on the show the other day when it came to the topic of ketosis, of getting into, like, very, very low carb territory. Like, having bad breath is something that I'm extremely concerned about at all times. And if there was a little thing I could blow into that would just kind of give me. Me an all clear, because you can't. It's hard to sense that because it's your own biome.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm surprised that that's. Even if it's a. A rip off. I'm surprised that nobody has marketed that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Even if, even if it doesn't actually work. You can't believe nobody's tried to make money off of the concept.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, exactly. Like, I feel like that's the kind of thing that I could see myself buying. Like, if you Instagrammed it up in a way that like really designed it out and made it look like an Apple product and made me think that it was the solution to all my problems. Like right after you're done cycling on your E bike, like test your breath when you get to the. Like, I could see it integrating into a whole experience for me.

[Andrew Walsh]

What if, what if, what if it worked? But the only way it worked was it was literally one of those party horns that it like it kind of unfurled and made that exact noise every time you did it.

[Luke Burbank]

Wait for if your breath was funky or not. Does the sound indicate.

[Andrew Walsh]

Nope, the sound does it no matter what. But then a little flag pops out and says funky or not funky at the very end of it. Here I go once again with the email. Every week I hope that it's from a female. Oh man, it's not from a female.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, let's email and V mail my friend before still looking at this test.

[Andrew Walsh]

How much time does it have A countdown down?

[Luke Burbank]

No, I mean for all this battery power it's using, it should give me account. Get it together.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like the other kind is better. Like anyway, you know, we were talking at one point. I don't remember exactly how it came up. I think it maybe you waved off some sort of option to join a class action lawsuit regarding Apple. I'm not sure about that. I know that I got a. I.

[Luke Burbank]

Got some money from betterhelp.com I think I got about $4.32 cents.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. And it just automatically deposited it into. Right into my PayPal.

[Luke Burbank]

All I needed to do was give. There was, there was a thing with the money was in Nigeria and in order to get the money in my account, I needed to put some money in their account for some transfer fees. So anyway, it's working out pretty well.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you hear they kept playing this on Lerd Mina Kimes was on Celebrity Jeopardy. And I didn't get to see it, but she, she ended up losing. And then the little like post morte interview with Ken. She, He. He's kind of saying, well, you made kind of small bets here and there and I didn't see the Visuals on this. But I guess she sort of like leaned in and just said, scared Money don't make money, Ken. And everybody was just like, I mean, do you.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, fooey. I'm sorry. I know we need to play this voicemail. But like, did you know the backstory of Mina Kimes and Ken Jennings and how their careers are intertwined? Did you see this one?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I just saw. I knew that she was really geeked to meet him. I had seen that. If there's another twist, I don't recall it.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you know, they're both Seattle folks. Well, that's not true. I mean, I don't think Ken Jin, I guess he kind of grew up. He grew up overseas, but then bounced around, I think ended up in Seattle.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, Seattle certainly claims him, and I think he claims Seattle. He lives here now.

[Luke Burbank]

And I mean, I'm forgetting the exact year of his life that he arrived in Seattle. But I think, you know, he went to the uw. Seattle is a big, big part of his life. And I guess when Mina was actually a business writer somewhere, she wrote some sort of a piece that I think it might have been. It was Seattle adjacent. It might have been a Seahawks thing or something. She basically wrote something that Ken Jennings retweeted. This is back when. When Twitter was Twitter. And this is story she told Ken when she was on the show. Basically, Ken, Jen retweeted something of Min when she was in. Not a sports writer. She was a business writer. But it got so much heat, this piece that she wrote, this thing that was sporty that she wrote that somebody reached out from. I don't know if it was ESPN or some other sports thing, but it basically was how she transitioned. Began the transition into being a writer of sports things and then now a TV commentator. Like, she was basically saying that retweet from Ken Jen was pretty critical to the trajectory of her career, which is kind of awesome.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I did not know that. But yeah, it's. It is interesting kind of, because from very. From. From very far away, I've been sort of following it not very closely at all. I'm not a huge Jeopardy. Head, but I knew that she was very geeked to be on that. And she is just such a charming individual and one of the most brilliant minds. I mean, literally one of the most brilliant minds in sports journalism.

[Luke Burbank]

Almost sad that it's been all dedicated to football.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, Right.

[Luke Burbank]

About a person this smart. Like, if you had. If. If she'd been pointed in the direction of building a better COVID Test.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

We'd have it covered. It's like, okay, well, I guess we do have some thoughts on Leonard Big Cat Williams and what his get off numbers are.

[Andrew Walsh]

I do remember her at one point saying like, it was like this or I can't remember if it was law or just like some. It was something. Yeah, it was another. It was another aspect of like some sort of career path that would have been super, super brainy and not. Not applied to sports. All of that is to say, okay, you got some money from class action lawsuit. I think I've mentioned on the show that I get these postcards every now and then asking me if I want to be part of a class action lawsuit. I usually just throw them away because the print on them is very tiny. I'm an old man. I don't see very well. I always feel a little bit suspicious of them. And in my past experience, I've only gotten like, you know, like pennies on the dollar, like from these things. Never seems worth it to me. Got this voicemail.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, hi, Hoyuk and Andrew. I am calling to say that I have a class action strategy that makes me very happy. I have been filling out all those little, little forms and postcards that I get and then when they send me an $11.98. Yes, I was in the big Equifax breach. Nice. I give that money to Wikimedia for Wikipedia. So I keep giving them these teeny little micro donations because I don't want to deal with these gift cards that they tend to be like a MasterCard. And it makes me feel good that somebody who's sticking up the truth gets the money.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's pretty good.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that's really smart.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think I got. I don't have it in front of me right now, but I'm pretty sure it was Cheryl. And Corvallis had texted the voicemail line at some point over the weekend saying that like, yeah, like, don't sleep on those things. Like sometimes you can get like 40 bucks or something, Something. And she's had pretty good success with them as well. So anyway, I like that idea of earmarking it though, because it is like free money. And you're like, oh, okay, yeah, what can I do with this free money? This tiny thing that can maybe make the world a slightly better place, but.

[Luke Burbank]

It'S also kind of incentivizing in a way. Right? Because it's all. It's almost like, how much do I care about getting $10 for me? Maybe not a whole lot, although $10 is $10. I, by the way, I returned something. Again, I'm sorry, Amazon is bad. I know this. But I was trying, trying to find, I needed to find like a one foot long hose, garden hose to connect two things at my house. And I bought something I thought would work on Amazon. It didn't. I think it retailed for $7. I drove it all the way down to town the other day. I was like, wow, I don't know if this maths out on the gas, but that being said, there's like, for me to get seven more dollars in my life, I might not jump through so many hoops. But if I connected it with a social good, like, hey, I'll just do this as a way of supporting, you know, Wikimedia or Naral or whoever it is we're thinking of, like, that's actually kind of more motivating for me than the money going in my own pocket.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Yeah, I like that. Thank you for that. I don't know that by the name, but. Oh.

[Luke Burbank]

TVTL breaking news.

[Andrew Walsh]

All clear.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. We are getting. We are getting an all clear.

[Andrew Walsh]

Nice. Fantastic. And friend, four double A batteries.

[Luke Burbank]

That's. Well, yeah, I got to take a picture of it and then, and then harvest those batteries before they burn out.

[Andrew Walsh]

Definitely. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, that's going to do it for today's episode of tbtl. But we are going to be right back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you. So please do join us for that. In the meantime, have a good Tuesday, stay safe and go Mariners. And please remember, no mountain to talk.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to all. Power out.