TBTL Episode #4459: The Thin Gray Line

Release Date: May 5, 2025

Hosts: Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh
Podcast Title: TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live
Description: TBTL is a daily show hosted by two longtime friends goofing their way through the world the best they can.

Episode Overview

In episode #4459, titled "The Thin Gray Line," hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh delve into a mix of lighthearted banter, updates on their sponsored Little League team, a peculiar pigeon theft saga in New York City, and personal anecdotes that showcase their camaraderie and humor. The episode seamlessly blends serious topics with playful interactions, providing listeners with both information and entertainment.

Junior Sluggers Update

Timestamp: 02:12 - 22:56

Luke and Andrew provide a comprehensive update on the TBTL Junior Sluggers, their sponsored Little League team based in Portland, Oregon. The team has faced a challenging season, currently holding a record of one win in eight games. Highlights include:

• Struggles Against the Hollywood Rose City League:
  The Sluggers have encountered formidable opponents, notably losing 4-12 and 14-0 in recent matches. Luke remarks, "Your junior Sluggers have run into a buzz saw of great teams and mid-season malaise" (04:05).

• Individual Performances:
  While the team's pitching has been commendable, with players like Saul, Baxter, Atlas, and Armani keeping scores low, the offense has faltered. A standout moment was Yarrow's home run, highlighted by Luke: "a majestic home run from Yarrow. Yes. I owe him another Starbucks coffee" (16:34).

• Philosophical Insights on Coaching:
  Luke praises Coach Ben's approach, emphasizing the importance of fun and teamwork over mere win-loss records. He philosophizes, "There's a quiet, unfiltered magic to Little League baseball. A little piece of America." (17:58).

• Future Prospects:
  Despite the rocky season, Luke remains optimistic about the team's potential for improvement. He muses, "They have exceeded my expectations. Teams can surprise you and it could be, you know, the sluggers could go on a surprising run." (21:15).

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew on coaching language: "While both beautiful and at times even poetic, it also favors the sluggers." (05:10)
• Luke on team morale: "The kids seem much less upset about the losses and less burdened by our record than I do." (20:36)

Pigeon Theft in New York City

Timestamp: 38:05 - 47:19

The hosts transition to a unique local story reported by Sarah Maslin-Ner. New York City has been grappling with a series of pigeon thefts from its parks. Central to this narrative is Tina Pina Trachtenberg, known as "Mother Pigeon," who believes two brothers owning a pet store in Bushwick, Brooklyn, are behind the thefts. Their alleged motive? Reselling stolen pigeons to support flyer shooting—an illegal pigeon hunting sport in Pennsylvania.

Key Points:

• Incident Details:
  Grayscale videos captured a mysterious individual netting pigeons and placing them in a car trunk on 10th Avenue.

• Mother Pigeon's Campaign:
  Tina has actively protested against the pet store, Broadway Pigeon and Pet Supplies, accusing them of unethical practices despite their denials. Luke humorously relates the situation to his familiarity with Tina: "She needs help. She thinks she's a pigeon," (46:38).

• Flyer Shooting Explained:
  The discussion sheds light on flyer shooting, where pigeons are used in hunting competitions—a practice that raises ethical and legal concerns.

Notable Quotes:

• Tina's Target on Mother Pigeon's activism: "I believe they are reselling the birds for use in live pigeon hunts in Pennsylvania." (39:34)
• Luke's appreciation for the story: "This is the most quintessential New York story I've heard in a long time, and I absolutely love it." (46:47)

Listener and Sponsor Highlights

Timestamp: 29:46 - 33:58

Guillermo Ubia’s Shout-Out:
The hosts extend heartfelt thanks to Guillermo Ubia from Durham, North Carolina, a long-time listener and contributor. Guillermo is relaunching his freelance design and illustration business, GXU Images, offering a 15% discount for TBTL listeners. His support and artwork, including contributions to the show's postcard project, are celebrated with enthusiasm:

• "He gave me some famous Virginia peanuts..." (30:06)
• "Guillermo was one of the artists who contributed to our postcard project." (32:27)

Notable Quotes:

• Luke on Guillermo’s contribution: "Go check out gxuimages.com for any kind of illustration or design needs and hit up our guy Guillermo so he can keep supporting TBTL and we can keep supporting the sluggers." (33:25)

Personal Stories and Anecdotes

Timestamp: 25:47 - 56:53

Luke’s Baseball Mitt Obsession:
Luke reminisces about his fervent dedication to perfecting his baseball skills, particularly his mitt. He shares humorous tales of:

• Sleeping on his mitt to break it in.
• Using unconventional methods like chewing beef jerky to season his glove.
• Moving positions on the field due to mitt size and strength in his arm.

Notable Quotes:

• Luke on mitt seasoning: "It's like a cast iron skillet. It gets better with time." (23:45)
• Luke on Little League philosophy: "Childhood awkward, brave, sometimes posing, but more often blindingly earnest, takes the field for six innings." (17:58)

Andrew’s Illegal Dumping Mishap:
Andrew recounts a distressing episode where he inadvertently became an illegal dumpster diver. Faced with decomposing shrimp in his compost bin and the truck missing his pickup day, he:

• Panicked and decided to dispose of the garbage himself.
• Wore a Baltimore Orioles hat to disguise his identity.
• Struggled with the moral implications of his actions.

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew on the aftermath: "So if anybody rats me out, I'm pretty sure that the..." (56:49)
• Luke empathizes humorously: "It's as you're describing it, I can." (50:03)

Closing Remarks

Timestamp: 58:42 - 62:47

As the episode winds down, Luke shares exciting news about his upcoming travels for work, including covering the 40th anniversary of Air Jordan sneakers at the Nike campus. He promises more engaging content in future episodes and encourages listeners to stay tuned.

Notable Quotes:

• Luke on upcoming plans: "I am going to go to the Nike campus right now to talk about the 40th anniversary of the Air Jordan sneakers." (61:55)
• Andrew’s humorous wrap-up: "And good luck to all." (62:47)

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Andrew Walsh: "But I have no evidence of that. It's just sort of like, wow, this was. The stats ain't very fast turnaround." (26:27)
• Luke Burbank: "God, I wish I had Jeff Bridges' voice right now." (17:58)
• Andrew Walsh: "It makes me feel really bad for him because I was like, God, I'd love to see that face light up with a big smile." (26:43)
• Luke Burbank: "If you’re hearing this mention of Pinecone Coaching, I bet you’re going to click with Sarah in Booth Bay, Maine, because you have this to agree on." (37:18)

Conclusion

Episode #4459 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live offers a delightful blend of sports updates, intriguing local news, listener appreciation, and personal stories, all delivered with the hosts' trademark humor and warmth. Whether you're a regular listener or new to the show, this episode provides a comprehensive look into the vibrant and multifaceted world Luke and Andrew navigate daily.

Tune in next time for more updates, stories, and laughs with Luke and Andrew on TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live.