#4483 The Science Of Gravel

Summary

Podcast Summary: TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live - Episode #4483: The Science Of Gravel

Release Date: June 6, 2025

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Introduction

In episode #4483 of Too Beautiful To Live (TBTL), hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh delve into a mix of nostalgic baseball memories, weekend plans, humorous studio antics, and engaging community events. The episode, titled "The Science Of Gravel," offers listeners a blend of heartfelt storytelling and lighthearted banter, encapsulating the essence of TBTL's daily escapades.

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Anniversary and the 'Miracle on Dirt'

The episode kicks off with Luke and Andrew celebrating a significant milestone—the anniversary of the "Miracle on Dirt," a memorable baseball game from June 2017 where Mike Zanino hit a walk-off home run against the Twins. This event holds sentimental value for both hosts and serves as a foundational memory for their friendship and collaboration.

• Andrew Walsh reflects on the moment:

  "We were sitting outside listening to the game and we were both just kind of saying, there's just no way we're gonna win this game. Like if they were to come back, that would be an absolute miracle." [05:14]

• Luke Burbank adds:

  "It's been a tough week for the boys and I appreciate you playing that to kind of put a little wind back in my sails." [05:48]

The duo reminisces about their road trip, the unexpected victory, and the iconic photograph they took, underscoring the profound impact of this event on their journey.

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Weekend Plans and the Fish Sticks Game

Transitioning from baseball nostalgia, Luke and Andrew discuss their upcoming weekend activities. Andrew expresses excitement about attending a Fish Sticks game in White Center with friends, highlighting the community spirit of smaller, local baseball organizations.

• Andrew Walsh shares his anticipation:

  "It's absolutely delightful. I'm looking forward to it." [12:05]

They also touch upon the challenges Andrew faces in securing tickets due to a mix-up with the delivery date, adding a relatable layer to his plans.

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Glitter Balloon Prank with Paul F. Tompkins

A highlight of the episode revolves around Luke's adventurous attempt to execute a glitter balloon prank during a live show featuring comedian Paul F. Tompkins. The plan involved popping balloons filled with glitter to celebrate Paul's record-breaking number of appearances on the show.

• Luke Burbank narrates the unfolding chaos:

  "And Andrew, there is so much effing glitter. Like, I didn't understand because Ashley, our production fellow, I said, this has to have a lot of confetti in it." [27:30]

Despite initial missteps and the overwhelming spread of glitter, Paul Tompkins responds with grace and humor, turning the mishap into a memorable moment for both the hosts and the audience.

• Andrew Walsh reflects on Paul's reaction:

  "Paul took it like an absolute champ. He laughed off. He had a giant piece of glitter that was inside his glasses for the whole interview." [33:58]

The incident not only provided comedic value but also showcased the hosts' willingness to take risks and embrace the unexpected.

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Listener Events and Dazzling Donors

Luke and Andrew dedicate a segment to acknowledging and promoting community-driven events organized by their listeners. These include initiatives like Food Lifeline in Seattle's South Park neighborhood and a Rainiers game meetup, fostering a sense of camaraderie among the TBTL community.

• Andrew Walsh introduces the Food Lifeline event:

  "It's called Food Lifeline and you need to sign up if you want to partake in this one." [39:44]

Additionally, the hosts express gratitude towards their dazzling donors, highlighting contributions from listeners like Samir Qureshi, who supports the show through his ventures.

• Luke Burbank emphasizes the importance of donor support:

  "We would not be here doing this if not for folks like Samir Qureshi, who's in Porter Ranch, California." [42:45]

These segments underscore the podcast's community-oriented ethos, encouraging active participation and support from listeners.

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TBTL Billboard Hunt with John Sklaroff

A recurring feature of the episode is the ongoing "TBTL Billboard Hunt," where listeners are invited to guess the location of an upcoming TBTL billboard within the United States. In this installment, John Sklaroff provides the third clue to aid participants in their quest.

• John Sklaroff reveals the latest hint:

  "Luke and Andrew almost hitchhiked through the state this place is in." [60:08]

The hosts engage with various listener guesses, including creative but incorrect suggestions like Denver's Red Rocks and Bug Tussle, Alabama. This interactive segment not only engages the audience but also adds an element of fun and competition to the episode.

• Luke Burbank clarifies:

  "It's not Red Rocks. It's not Bug Tussle. It's not any of the towns named Bono." [58:30]

Listeners are encouraged to delve into past episodes and use the provided clues to pinpoint the billboard's location, fostering deeper engagement with the show's content.

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Gift Unboxing and Listener Contributions

In a heartwarming segment, Luke and Andrew unbox gifts sent by listeners, showcasing the tangible appreciation and connection between the hosts and their audience. Among the unwrapped items are Minecraft-themed PEZ dispensers, records, and practical gadgets like cat snack spoons.

• Andrew Walsh expresses delight over the PEZ dispensers:

  "We're sharing this. I don't care what Tiffany wrote in that card." [70:18]

• Luke Burbank shares his enthusiasm for the gifts:

  "I think it's amazing. What won't they integrate into a PEZ dispenser?" [69:51]

These exchanges highlight the personal bonds fostered by the podcast, turning listeners into active participants and contributors to the show's vibrant community.

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Conclusion

As the episode draws to a close, Luke and Andrew reflect on the day's events, express gratitude towards their listeners, and tease future adventures, including Luke's upcoming filming in Iowa. The blend of humor, heartfelt memories, and community engagement encapsulates the unique charm of TBTL, leaving listeners eagerly anticipating the next episode.

• Luke Burbank signs off with optimism:

  "Have a great weekend everyone. Stay safe, take care of yourselves and please remember, no mountain too tall." [86:47]

• Andrew Walsh adds his best wishes:

  "And good luck to you all." [86:47]

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This episode of Too Beautiful To Live exemplifies the podcast's ability to intertwine personal stories, community initiatives, and spontaneous humor, creating a rich and engaging listening experience for both loyal fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Andrew Walsh]

How many almonds would you say is the perfect amount?

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know. Two dozen?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I am now the proud owner of Onealmond.com.

[Luke Burbank]

How much would you say google.com is worth? Billions. Tens of billions of dollars?

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Right. And onealmond.com? zero. Zero billion or zero dollars? It wouldn't matter. It's all zero. It's more than just a domain name. I built.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm building an empire.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, right now the website's just a photo of you holding a single walnut almond. No, it's not.

[Andrew Walsh]

Tbtm. Guess what day it is. Guess what day it is. It's Friday, Friday. Gotta get down on Friday Everybody's looking.

[Luke Burbank]

Forward to the weekend. Do you just sit around all day thinking of nice things to say to people?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, it's not necessarily during the day.

[Luke Burbank]

But I do like to be nice to people. You got a dangerous streak and a not dangerous streak. Poppycock. Bull feathers.

[Andrew Walsh]

Watch out for that first step. It's a doozy.

[Luke Burbank]

All right. Hello, good morning and welcome everyone to a Friday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. It's an audiophiles nightmare. My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host. I'm an activist and house party enthusiast coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio perched high above the mighty Columbia where we are looking at a spectacular Friday. Oh, Ma Pa. It's just beautiful. Maybe even too spectacular. We may get into the upper 80s, low 90s this weekend.

[Andrew Walsh]

I feel warm and I'm levitating.

[Luke Burbank]

I'll take it though. I am very, very, very excited that the nice weather is here and that episode 4483 in a collector series has also arrived.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let the fun begin.

[Luke Burbank]

Last night I was doing the Livewire radio show down in Portland. By the way, thanks to all the folks that came came out to see that really fun night. I did decide on a sort of a whim to become sort of a performance art prankster on stage involving balloons full of glitter. I wish I hadn't done that. Lesson was learned last night involving glitter and how it sort of goes everywhere. It turns out that has not been under reported, but I somehow under remembered it. We'll also, hey, bring you clue number three three in the great TBTL billboard hunt. Oh, and the adventure begins again. Our friend and colleague John Sklaroff will stop by now. We've already put out two hints as to where in these United States this TBTL billboard is going up. And we'll have another hint for you today to see if you can guess where the billboard is going. We've been learning some places it's not going to. It's not going across the street from Goldy's Casino above the one time card room where Luke used to go, where Andrew now likes to throw away his rotted shrimp. It's not going there. But it is going somewhere. And we're gonna try to figure that out together. Speaking of my good friend Andrew Walsh, he is the longest running cobro or crowbro. You know, crows are very intelligent animals. If I'm gonna call him something that's non human, crow is not the worst. He's a co bro of the program. Maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He didn't realize that I was on the line earlier today and I heard him talking about our professional relationship quietly, to himself, like he does sometimes in the studio.

[John Sklaroff]

I wish I knew how to quit you.

[Luke Burbank]

That's an actual recording of Andrew Walsh, who's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning, Luke. Speaking of our relationship, happy anniversary, my friend.

[Luke Burbank]

Wait, what?

[Andrew Walsh]

You don't remember that today is one of our anniversaries? I literally got you something.

[Luke Burbank]

You actually. I have to be honest. You got. Can I say this on the show? You got Walt something.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I did.

[Luke Burbank]

And it arrived.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's a. Oh, good. I haven't even opened it yet. We'll get to that later. I want to focus on us first.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. Well, I'm now feeling quite out of my back.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is split. This is kind of weird. So you don't remember at all that today is our anniversary? I tell you what. I'm going to give you the gift. It's a gift of audio to celebrate our anniversary. And I think that the gift itself will explain the anniversary 21 to Zino.

[Luke Burbank]

He got it. He hit it.

[Andrew Walsh]

We got it.

[Luke Burbank]

Got it. Mike Zanino steps walked off. Minnesota winner, winner, chicken dinner. Amen, brother. Mike Z. Wow.

[Andrew Walsh]

Second home run tonight, and the Mars.

[Luke Burbank]

Win the ball game, 6 to 5.

[Andrew Walsh]

Mike's going to his second home run of the game. That one. A game winner. He is.

[John Sklaroff]

They're 500.

[Andrew Walsh]

Come on. They're 500.

[Luke Burbank]

Come on.

[Andrew Walsh]

They're 500. Come on.

[Luke Burbank]

The miracle on dirt.

[Andrew Walsh]

Nobody likes to talk over a big call like the bone. I've noticed that recently when he's been, like, hanging in the studio with Riz.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, Ricky.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hey, Ricky.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, Ricky. Hey, Ricky. Hey, Ricky. No one, Rick. Riz has been the Mariners play by play announcer. Or I guess they're you know, the sidekick to Dave Niehaus for like, I don't know, 40 years. I think the guy's been around forever. I've never heard anyone call him Ricky until the Bone showed up.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

So for those, I kind of like it in a weird way.

[Andrew Walsh]

For those who don't know, it's actually. I tricked you there a little bit. Tomorrow is our actual anniversary of the miracle. The miracle on Dirt, as we call it. We were on a TBTL road trip way back in June 2017. It was. We used to have him around this time. Our Thawne is now about a month away this year's. But it was early June and you and I were on that road trip and we heard what we call the miracle on Dirt. That walk off home run against the Twins by Mike Zanino in a mid season meaningless game.

[Luke Burbank]

We were. Well, as the Bone told you, they're 500.

[Andrew Walsh]

They're 500.

[Luke Burbank]

So that's actually some nice. We're not going to get into Mariner talk here, but that's some nice perspective. It's been a tough week for the boys and I appreciate you playing that to kind of put a little wind back in my sails about, you know, that was a time where even getting to 500 was a miracle. We're still at least a couple of games over. We could still take some solace in that. But yeah, we were. We had parked the RV in a sort of campground that was near a casino in New Mexico. And I remember we were sitting outside listening to the game and we were both just kind of saying, there's just no way we're gonna win this game. Like if they were to come back, that would be an absolute miracle. And we somehow manifested it. And then we took a great photograph right after which I still.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

Have you seen that photo? I'll try that.

[Andrew Walsh]

You probably showed it to me in the moment in 2017. I don't know if I've seen it since.

[Luke Burbank]

Since we could almost.

[Andrew Walsh]

Are we on our lawn chairs? Are we lawn chair layering it up out there.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that's. Somehow I thought maybe the anniversary you were talking about because that's one of the things that I constantly forget. I bet you if I just put New Mexico into my photo search. I don't think I have that many.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, you know what? I think it was Arizona.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, it's coming up under New Mexico.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're right. You have a better memory on that stuff. I had Arizona.

[Luke Burbank]

Wow, Andrew, this is wild. Okay. The pictures are absolutely unhinged, but I'm still gonna send them to you. It is clear that we have been consuming. There's a giant bottle of Jim Beam on the folding table, and then a Fresca.

[Andrew Walsh]

Whoa. Fresca enters the conversation.

[Luke Burbank]

Who knew that there was foreshadowing of Fresca? I don't think she's gonna terrify.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't wanna take the fun out of this story, but honestly, most of this, you and I were not sitting around drinking during most of this game.

[Luke Burbank]

We weren't.

[Andrew Walsh]

We were driving during most of the game.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely.

[Andrew Walsh]

We rolled into the park right around maybe the eighth inning. I think we might have had a few drinks, like, right away, but there's no way. We were like, unless this is later in the night, there's no way. We were pretty bombed at that point.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I just. I guess. Well, I'm gonna send you this picture of me, and then I'm gonna send the picture of you. You don't actually look unhinged. You look fine. And I will point out the bottle of Jim Beam is full of Jim Beam. It is yet to be consumed, so. You're absolutely right. I just. Maybe what it is is the delirium of the Mariners winning has me looking like I'm into my cups. And then you. You. You actually look much more. I don't know why I texted this you. I know you don't like that. I'm sorry.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, that's okay. So we don't have one of the. As I was thinking, both of us. But, yeah, I guess we didn't have the technology back then. You do look a little.

[Luke Burbank]

I look insane.

[Andrew Walsh]

You are also. I will give you credit, you were also doing all of the driving. So this is like you after probably.

[Luke Burbank]

No amount of driving explains how insane I look.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, it's also. It's a FL. It's a close flash photo of your face after 11.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm grimy, I'm slimy. I need shower.

[Andrew Walsh]

If I recall, we through, like, some weather as well. I believe it was really hot. But also, didn't we drive through a storm? I think, like, I'm trying to give you as much cover here as possible, but it's all honest. Like, it was a long day of driving in an rv, which, you know, is a very big vehicle, through, I believe, a storm, and then through the desert, and then we had this miracle on dirt, of course. So I think that's what we're seeing beaming from your face there.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, happy Zanino day to all who celebrate. And thank you for bringing that to my attention. That actually really I was already. I gotta be honest with you, I'm already feeling pretty good on this Friday. The weather is nice. The weekend is looming. Been having some important developments in the. In the realm of the next TBTLathon. Some positive developments. It would appear so. Things are. I'm feeling good, but now I'm feeling even better. Can I ask you, do you have any big weekend plans?

[Andrew Walsh]

Big weekend. The biggest one I've ever had.

[Luke Burbank]

Big weekend. It's gonna be warm where you are, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, it is. I'm. I'm both looking forward to something tomorrow, but also kind of bummed because I can't do two things at once. But I do have a lot of yard work that I need to get done. Kind of a project in the front yard that tomorrow would be a great day to do. But I have some recording stuff to do in the. In the kind of midday. And then I am heading down to White center to take in a white center fish sticks game. Fish sticks game with some friends. Yeah. And I've been sweating it a little bit, so, you know, they're a small operation. I don't want to. This is a very, very small, almost collegiate level, like, little baseball organization down there in White center, the south part of Seattle. And I went to a game last year. It's absolutely delightful. I'm looking forward to it. But I was getting very nervous because I ordered these tickets. I ordered like a four tickets for us, I think, on May 20th. And when I placed my order, I got a receipt immediately that said, you will receive your. Thank you for the order. You will receive your tickets on May 1st. And then I kind of check my notes. I'm like, well, it's May 20th now. So that. That doesn't kind of. That doesn't make a lot of sense. That was 20 days ago. But I waited. I'm like, maybe it's a typo. Maybe they mean June 1st. So then I kind of just. I kind of put it out of my mind a little bit. And then June 1st came and passed. And then suddenly yesterday I'm like, wait, this game is in. It's the fourth now. I don't have any tickets. So then I like, I'm like, I need these tickets for this game. So I clicked on the little, like, you need help with your. You know, it's on the receipt little link. Do you need help with this? Any issues? Click here. I click there. It goes to a total dead end. That's like Total just like, page doesn't load. I'm like, okay, well, this isn't great. So I find a public email address for the organization. I'm like, hey, just supposed to go to this game on Saturday, but the tickets haven't been sent to me yet. Any news there? And I had. As of this morning, I had not heard back. But it seems like something just. Just kicked loose in the system. And literally since we've been recording, I have in my greedy little hands. For. When I say greedy little hands, I mean digital hands. My greedy little digital inbox has four tickets to the Nice tomorrow. Yeah. So.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you have. You know, it's. It's. Maybe in earlier years I would have thought, let's go down to the game. I don't know. You know, it's the Fish Sticks. It's just a kind of a fun little community event. But I feel like we're in a golden age of these kind of smaller teams. Like, have you been hearing about the Portland Bangers?

[Andrew Walsh]

No.

[Luke Burbank]

The Portland Bangers are a. I guess they're described as a pre professional soccer team.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

They're going to play their first season, but I think they're maybe owned by the same people that own the Pickles, but in this case, bangers. It's like a sausage. Like, bangers and mash.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, sure. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

So their mascot is named Saucy T. Sausage. But like, I heard people talking about the Bangers and saying like, yeah, I was trying to get tickets, but they sold out immediately. And I was like, we're immediately selling out tickets to pre professional soccer now. Like, and the same thing. I know the Pickles games are very well attended in Portland. I'm guessing the Fish Sticks games as well. Like, you've sort of got the Savannah Banana fication of. Of sports. And by that I mean. And to be honest with you, I'm glad that the Savannah Bananas are having a fun time. And if that's something that people really love, I. I salute them. I don't want to yuck any yums. It's not really for me because it's not baseball. It's. It's like, you know, it's a kind of a cool performance dance performance where a baseball is occasionally thrown or hit.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, yeah, it's not.

[Luke Burbank]

Which is totally fine. It's just not just I there. It's not really. It doesn't really feel like baseball to me. But anyway, there are just all these kind of small operations that have popped up that almost become more of a happening. It's not Even about the thing on the field as much. It's just like, they just come up with the most fun things to do with the game. It's a sunny day, like, so. Yeah, I could see a fish sticks game selling right on out and you getting there and they're being like, sorry, dude, no room at the end.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I was like. I was. You know me, I. I don't know if you've ever noticed this about me, but sometimes I kind of worry about things kind of in advance. I kind of, like, borrow.

[Luke Burbank]

You were worried that Mike Zagino wasn't going to hit that home run all those years ago?

[Andrew Walsh]

I was worried he wasn't going to hit the home run. The replay a moment ago. But yeah, I was like, I don't know what I'm going to. Again, the tickets are not that expensive. They're like 15 bucks a piece, but with fees or whatever. Four tickets was like $65, and I don't want to just throw $65 away, so. But it's also a small organization. I don't want to go in there and be like, I need to talk to your manager. Right. I mean, like, if we all showed up and my tickets didn't, or if I didn't have tickets, we would have all just bought fresh tickets, you know what I mean?

[Luke Burbank]

If it wasn't sold out. But that's what I.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, that's true. If it wasn't sold out, who knows what's going on there? So I am going to relieve that. I don't have to, like, kind of because I get stressed out about these things. But then I also want to be very nice about these things.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't want to be, like, kind of. So I'm trying so hard to not say Karen it up here. I just got to let everybody know why I'm stumbling around. I don't like to do that to people named Karen, but that has become a word that has some.

[Luke Burbank]

We have a lot of. I notice how many Karens listen when we do the dazzling donors and also the daily donors. Every time I wince, I feel anytime I use that term.

[Andrew Walsh]

But I don't want to be that kind of person. Especially if you're talking to, like, some young person who's like, running the ticket booth. And I was like picturing like, well, do I just. Can I just print out. And also, what is more. What is more old Manish than printing out a receipt and saying, I don't know. I didn't get the tickets. I only got this receipt. And they'll be like.

[Luke Burbank]

And like the whole trip down, whatever, you're going to be kind of anxious, like you know, starting, starting whenever it is you print out the paperwork. And then instead of going and it being fun and are you guys going to take the light rail, the E line or is there a public.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that is the thing. So that's one of the reasons why I don't think that I can kind of get into my yard work. Because by the yard work I need to do tomorrow is a little bit of a heavy lift. It's not the type of thing that it's a project that once you start it, you kind of got to literally dig in for a while. And so I don't want to kind of get into that and then be like, oh, we now have to start our long trek down to White center. Because I kind of want to make a thing of it. It's not a direct line. Like it is a. And Genevieve is going with. And so I thought, you know, I think it could be potentially like a 90 minute like public transportation to specifically down all the way south and then a little bit west to White center like that. And so I was thinking we can just like leave in the mid afternoon. Make a day of it maybe when we're transferring. If we're somewhere like fun.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe south park or somewhere. Exactly.

[Andrew Walsh]

Grab a beer, grab a sandwich, dude. Like you just kind of want to make a day of it with Viv and then end up down at the ballpark or whatever in the early evening. I'm assuming the game is probably around 6ish or something. So that's why I'm kind of like it's a little bit like I gotta. I got to kind of put my desire to work in the yard aside. But I am. But that's not to diminish my excitement for the Right.

[Luke Burbank]

But if that whole time you're doing that, you're also like, but how's it going to go when I show up with my printout?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Luke Burbank]

That would have like really cast a pall over what is supposed to be actually part of the fun, which is journeying down there and everything.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. And I kept on. I kind of again, I don't want to exaggerate it, but when I would think of it, I would think, oh damn. And then I'd be like, but it's 15. It's like another $15, you know what I mean? It's just like it's not that big of a deal. Like either way, like don't Let. Don't let this interfere in any way with the fun you will have at the game or leading up to the game. I've been really trying to. Even before the tickets came through, just being like this is not like what I want to remember about this weekend. You know what I mean? When I look back at this, I don't want to be like, well, I was in a bit of a cloud fog because there was some mistake with my tickets. Like, I just was really trying hard to put that out of my head, which clearly I did because I didn't even it up during this conversation.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, now. Okay, but here's the other thing. Now that the Sluggers have hung it up for the season, we do need.

[Andrew Walsh]

To do a postmort with coach. So there's no more.

[Luke Burbank]

Actually, I don't know that for a fact, but based on how things went at that game, I can't imagine there'll be more games. We got to check in with coach Ben on that. But now. And. And the Mariners in freefall and the. The Sluggers taking, you know, the Sluggers now done for the season. The Fish Sticks might be. That might be our new team. That might be our last hope. We may have to start quickly moving our eggs over into that basket. So. So I'm glad you're going to be able to see them IRL this weekend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yep. How about you? You got any big weekend plans and if shows well, tomorrow it's gonna begin.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

The biggest one I've ever had.

[Luke Burbank]

Big weekend.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's not short shrift you.

[Luke Burbank]

No, please. I don't. I don't want to.

[Andrew Walsh]

Whoa.

[Luke Burbank]

Is Luke on this? But I. So tomorrow Abeka and I are going to have a nice day of just enjoying the warm weather in Portland. We're probably going to stop over at her brother and sister in law's place. They have a swimming pool so that'll be kind of nice to do some lounging there. And then we're gonna. We're borrowing her mom's dog, Gigi. So we're gonna take Gigi on some a long walk and just kind of have a nice enjoyable day in Portland. Now the woe is me part is that at 7am on Sunday I am getting on a airplane that's flying to Chicago and then getting on another airplane that's flying to Moline, Illinois. The Quad Cities airport, baby. Because next week I'm going to be doing some filming in Iowa at the world's largest truck stop. And the thing about getting to Iowa is it takes a few flights and there was no way for me to fly on Monday because that would have been. Made it impossible for us to do tbtl. So what ends up happening is in order to make all of the scheduling work, I have to basically spend. And Sunday is supposed to be 91 degrees. And it's. Instead of lounging by the, you know, the Willamette river or something, or doing something really fun on a Sunday, On a beautiful Sunday, I'm going to be on an airplane flying to the Quad Cities. But anyway, I'm. Tomorrow is going to be nice. I'm really looking forward tomorrow and today. Also, I. I have a guy coming over to do an estimate on putting down a new layer of gravel in my driveway. So I've got. This house has kind of this actually, like, almost like more parking area than I really need. Like, I think the people here before me, they were big, you know, may have been RV folk or something. They come from a much more of a truck culture where it's like you might have multiple vehicles and you might be pulling a fifth wheel and, you know, so I think they really terraced the living tweedle out of it. I don't really care about any of that stuff. Like, that's not my scene. I need enough room to park, like two cars. But anyway, also, it's not paved around here. It's like a thing where there's been gravel that was put down, but all the gravel has now been kind of just like washed away. Or anytime somebody tries to drive up the little incline away from my house, they're like spinning out depending on the kind of vehicle they're in. So I have this guy coming over to give me an estimate on what it's going to cost to put down a new layer of gravel. And if he tells me that it's $100, I would believe it. If he tells me it's $40,000, I would believe it. Which puts me in a great position for negotiating.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Literally no idea what this should cost.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, well, it's funny, I'm buying a little. This is where I am. This is where I am not an adult. One of the things that I'm trying to do is like, kind of restone some areas of our little garden. Our garden in front has become just super overgrown. And this is one of the projects. Every year I fantasize about, like, really doing the garden upright, like getting trucks here with, like, having a big pile of mulch dumped off and maybe a big pile of gravel. But instead, I'm kind of nipping around the corners of it. And so one of the things I was going to do is take one of these little quadrants of this little garden I was describing on the show the other day and really like rake up all the stones that are there, get them in a pile, kind of dig up all the like kind of weeds and vegetation that have grown up and then lay down, you know, re spread the gravel and then lay down some more. It's not gravel though. It's more like garden stones. Right. Like river stones. And so what I doing instead of like doing it right and having like a big pile of stones that is.

[Luke Burbank]

Like three yards of pea gravel, which I just recently wheelbarrowed down a hill.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sort of sounds wonderful.

[Luke Burbank]

It was meditative.

[Andrew Walsh]

But the thing is like that's what you should do. And then you have this big pile which motivates you to get the project done. But instead I'm doing this like I still live in an apartment and I'm in my 20s. I'm going. Every time I go to Home Depot or Lowe's, I just buy another like $5 bag of this river rock. So it's very. One thing I've learned is stone isn't that expensive, especially if you're going to buy it in a huge batch like that. And the stone you're buying is gravel that's not even a river rock. So I'm guessing that it's going to be even more affordable. It's not going to be 100 bucks, but I'll bet you think 500. 500 bucks?

[Luke Burbank]

I think easily, easily $2,000 for the gravel.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, just the gravel alone.

[Luke Burbank]

And then I don't know what the spreading. I'm not trying to spread this myself. And also there might need to be an underground. So this is. So I was last weekend we were over at my sister Sarah and my brother in law Josh's house and Josh is quite the landscaper. They have this like, they have the. Their backyard is such an oasis. You should just go Andrew and like do a site visit and take some pictures and then just go like this is what I want to make my.

[Andrew Walsh]

Make me sad.

[Luke Burbank]

But it's, you know, it's aspirational because Josh is just so detailed. So he's built all these raised beds and he grows all kinds of cool like vegetables and herbs and things which he then uses to cook like phenomenal meals. The grass is like perfect.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's.

[Luke Burbank]

But he's put down these walkways that are different kinds of gravel. And this is. Man, you want to talk about some real like king of the hill old guys standing around talking about something. Get me and Josh talking about different kinds of gravel because it's actually a sit. So you have what you want to lay down first. Well, I mean, first of all, you want to lay down some kind of a sand depending on what the surface you're on is. But you can also use a certain kind of gravel that's compacting gravel. And the whole point there is that it actually gets really hard and it kind of creates the base layer. And then you put a more decorative layer of gravel over that gravel because now you've got the compacting layer. And then you put another one that maybe compacts a little bit less and that kind of rides on top of the compacted stuff. There's like. I went out to this gravel lot or whatever nearby house. The science of gravel is actually pretty shocking to me. I just figured, I don't know, it's like some rock, you throw it around or whatever. So this guy's going to. I'm also, to be honest with you, I'm like kind of low key embarrassed because so many areas of this, like huge driveway or parking area, whatever you call it, have now become overgrown. Because what I think, you know what the guys who. The guy who lived here before me probably did every year was he walked around all this gravel was here, and he just walked around and he probably sprayed all of it with Roundup and just made it so that there was nothing growing up between the gravel and stuff. And like, it was just probably. It probably looked pretty nice at one point. And it does not look that way anymore. It has really gone to seed. I mow it, but it's just like. So I feel like this guy's gonna. This guy, I don't know why I assume he's gonna be smoking a cigar, but I assume the guy from the gravel company is gonna be smoking a cigar and he's gonna pull up in his like super burly truck, he's gonna look around and I'm gonna go, how much to gravel this? And he's gonna go, well, you got a lot of work to do before we could even start on that. Like, you gotta. That, you gotta get rid of that grass. You got to get rid of that. You got to put down this. Like, I feel like I'm gonna kind of be slightly in trouble for how. How much I've not been maintaining certain elements of the driveway out here. So I'm a little, I'm a little.

[Andrew Walsh]

Apprehensive, you know, more about this than I do. But I'm interested in a follow up because I'll bet you not. I'll bet you it's kind of like if you're having the. I thought you were just having a bunch of gravel dumped. I didn't know that you're having them kind of do the job as well.

[Luke Burbank]

And if, well, I need to find out how much that adds.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'll bet you they've done. I bet you they've seen whatever you're dealing with. I'm sure they've seen worse and also just have probably a quick way of dealing with it. I'm guessing I could be wrong. Maybe you'll get hollered at. We'll see.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't think you. I think you're absolutely right. I think that it's. I think there are probably places that have gone much more to seed than my place. But yeah, to the question of am I going to do it myself? As I was. I think there was a time where I thought, yeah, you know, just dump a huge pile here and I'll get to work on it. As I was moving all that pea gravel down the hill one wheelbarrow load at a time. And that was three yards. And I think that this will probably need, I don't know, 100 yards, 50 yards.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's bigger than I was picturing. I mean, but in memory. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm hoping that. I'm hoping that the, the price is not exorbitant. I don't know. We'll all, we'll all find out. So that's my, that's this afternoon. Excited about that. I'm also involved in the project, Andrew, of pulling glitter out of every corner of my life right now. Because yesterday on Livewire, we were taping the show and Paul F. Tompkins was on and we thought it would be funny. It was also true, but we thought it'd be funny to kind of let him know that he has now become. He has the most appearances as a guest in the history of the show. And so I kind of envisioned like, it would be fun if, like when we announced this, like, confetti kind of dropped down from the ceiling. Kind of like when you're the, you know, at the grocery store and you're the 10,000th customer or whatever and the balloons come down and all of that. But that's actually kind of hard to set up day of. And so I thought, well, why don't we get some balloons that have confetti in them. And then when Paul comes out, we'll announce us. The band will play a little thing, and then we'll pull out this big balloon and we'll pop it. And then that'll be kind of like a funny thing. And so we sent our production fellow to go get the balloons. And I could just kind of tell that everyone at every step along the way kind of thought this was a bad idea. Like, so first it was like, Eben, our technical director, said as we were, like, rehearsing it with the balloons, Eben was like, have we gotten clearance from the venue that it's okay to pop this? And I thought, well, and what I kind of hadn't really factored in was they hadn't put confetti in the balloons. They had put glitter in the balloons.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's like a. That. That's like an attack. Like, you really. I'm interested in hearing where this goes.

[Luke Burbank]

But you really fit in with the Livewire staff last night.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I know, like, so you know how. And we might even do this later today if time permits. But we were talking about maybe doing a what's in the Box segment where we open things, you know, that listeners have sent us. And I'm friends with a couple of guys who've been doing that for a long time, or at least they were until some listener, I don't know if this was a listener, thought they were just being funny and loves these guys or somebody who's actually trying to ruin their day. But, like, they put one of those, like, kind of glitter bombs in a box and like, they open that in the studio and it just, like, ruined a bunch of equipment. He's still. That was years ago.

[Luke Burbank]

So, like, somebody is a radio person. We know.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is a podcaster that I'm friends with, but they did, like, basically a what's in the Box segment they've been doing. They had been.

[Luke Burbank]

So somebody glitter bombed them.

[Andrew Walsh]

Somebody glitter bombed them. And I think about that all the time. I mean, and we just even got a little bit of Genevieve got a card or something for Christmas that had a little bit of glitter on it, and we were cleaning it for days. So the idea of glitter has really. The society has realized what glitter truly is, which is. It's an attack.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, I think you're right about that. I think I was maybe the last person to get the memo. Even though we've talked about glitter being considered the herpes of the crafting world, in that it will continue on in your life for years and years, potentially.

[Andrew Walsh]

Manage it but you can't get rid of it.

[Luke Burbank]

You can manage it. You still will be able to wind surf and kickbox. You can ride a horse and ride a horse, but your life, you know, will be forever changed by this. So I just thought this would be funny and a kind of a cool moment and otherwise me just saying, you're the most all time guest. And the band goes like, I don't know. So, so, so Eben is like, do we have permission from the venue? And then he goes and asks. The venue's like, yeah, that's fine, we can do that. And then I'm telling our photographer, Jenny. I'm like, okay, we're gonna do this thing where we pop this balloon over Paul F. Tompkins and it's gonna be glittery. It might be kind of a funny shock you try to get. She's like, yeah, totally. She goes, but let me just ask you this, is he a veteran or has he been through anything where the popping of the balloon. Now that's a very Portland question, but also I guess legitimate. Like, is the popping of the balloon going to scare Paul F. Thompkins less? Even the glitter, but just the like, because there are people who, a balloon popping near them could be kind of scary or traumatizing or triggering. So I was like, I don't think so. Then it was like, Elena, who was going to be holding the balloon while I popped, it was like, I need to check his outfit first because he's a very snappy dresser and if we put glitter on his outfit, that could make him mad. And just like at, at every single point people were going basically like, these are reasons why I'm concerned about this happening.

[Andrew Walsh]

I like, honestly, I'm interested in hearing where this goes, but I am the popping, it wouldn't occur to me like the sound being trigger or something. But like just as somebody who listens to a lot of Paul F. Tompkins and is, and I know him to be a very sweet man. I believe I don't know him personally, but his public Persona is to be a very, very sweet man who has very strict boundaries. I feel like as well, I mean, that's just what I listen to a lot of comedy. Bang bang. And it sort of seems like if you're not, if Paul F. Tompkins is not digging what you're putting down, he'll kind of let you know. And he is a very snappy dresser. And right now in the story, I am very concerned, concerned about what's going to happen if you glitter bomb him.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, so I started to lose my nerve on the whole thing. But we had these two cool ass balloons that I was. And I thought it would be a potentially a funny moment. And so I said to Paul backstage, I said, hey, Paul, I just need to clear something with you. And I didn't want to give away the exact surprise. I said, there may be a moment in our interview with you where there is some kind of glitter connection confetti present. And I can talk to. I can really try to make sure that we don't actually get it on you, or we try to kind of sort of the glitter goes past you, but not so much on you. He goes, well, if there's glitter, it's gonna go on all of us. Yeah. I said, okay. I said, well, should we not do it? He goes, no, no.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, great, great.

[Luke Burbank]

Because I travel with a lint roller. And I said, okay. I go, is that. Can I go? Is that consent? He goes, enthusiastic consent.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love that. That's great. I'm so glad you did that. That's good.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, yeah. But so then. So then, of course, I have this pin, this, like, comically long pin that I have gotten from the people that run the Alberta Rose Theater. They just literally had this pin in their office for some reason. And we introduced Paul F. Tompkins. The band is playing. He's coming out. And I realized now this is going to be the point where. Because we're going to tell him you have the most appearances in the history of the show. And Elena's going to pull this balloon out from under the table, and then I'm going to pop it. And I can't find my pin. I don't know what has happened to the pin. It's not on the table. And I'm like, I have no fingernails. I'm like, I have a pen. But I just. This balloon is actually pretty well designed. I'm like, ah. I'm freaking out. I'm looking around like. And then at the last second, as he's sitting down, I just, like, see, the pin has rolled over to the far edge of the table, and I snag it.

[Andrew Walsh]

They're gonna say, just as he's about to sit down, you realize it's on his chair pointing upwards like, attack.

[Luke Burbank]

And he had not enthusiastically consented to that at all. So, anyway, so he sits down and we welcome him to the show and we're riffing a little bit, and then we do the thing. I say, hey, you know, by the way, this is just. This is a kind of an important moment for the show you have now the. You hold the record for most appearances in the history of Livewire. And the band plays a thing and everyone's cheering and Elena grabs the balloon dutifully and holds it up over him. And I try to poke it and it doesn't pop at first. And then I like, really just jam the pin into it and it explodes. And Andrew, there is so much effing glitter. Like, I didn't understand because Ashley, our production fellow, I said, this has to have a lot of confetti in it. That's what I kept trying to. And again, I'm not thinking of glitter when I'm. When I. I'm not using the word glitter ever. I'm using the word confetti. I'm somehow thinking they're going to put paper, shredded up paper inside this balloon. I guess that's not a thing. So I was saying to Ashley and saying by through back channels, I was like, please try to get the most confetti they'll put in the balloon. And when Ashley brought the balloon, she goes, this is the most that they would put in here. And now I understand why did they. The people at Lippman Party Supply.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, so you did buy a glitter balloon. You didn't have people in backstage pouring glitter into this thing?

[Luke Burbank]

No, no. And I'm also going to say this. It was. It's large, very large chunks of glitter, which was fortunate. It's not the kind that you think of that you might get in a little tube.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's what I was picturing, because that's.

[Luke Burbank]

I probably have. I literally have showered. I've slept an entire night, worked out and showered, and I still probably have some of it in my hair or whatever. But, like, this was. So anyway, I didn't realize until I popped the balloon that it was a tremendous amount of glitter that just went everywhere. And Paul took it like an absolute champ. He laughed off. He had a giant piece of glitter that was inside his glasses for the whole interview. That was almost obscuring his vision. Everybody laughed. It went over great. The crowd loved it. I think we got a great photograph. This is where I may have taken things too far. Andrew. We're joking about the glitter and the confetti and we're talking and what a bad idea this was. And da, da, da. And there was some kind of a moment in the conversation where we're just kind of. We were. I forget what Paul was doing, but it occurred to me that we were in the perfect comedic moment for me to pop the second glitter balloon. Because nobody even knew that there was another balloon down there. We had a backup for some reason, I don't know, in case that went wrong with the first one. And this comedic moment opened up and I just like. Without even really thinking it through, I just grabbed this other balloon and like popped it and it went everywhere. Not so much even on Paul this time, but on me and Elena. And this one somehow had more glitter in it than the first one, including, don't get mad at me, my brand new computer that I just got. And it was the best part of the night, Andrew. It got because nobody knew there was another balloon. It was. I don't know if any of this will even be on the radio. It's highly visual. It's probably would be confusing if you're a radio listener. Why is the crowd freaking out again? But it was in the moment, so much fun. The problem was it was covering my computer. I could almost not read the screen on my computer. It got in everybody's water. Everybody has water up there. The water was like. It was like a glitter soup in everyone's water. Eben, our technical director, who had said, maybe this isn't a great idea. It's having to run and try to replace everybody's water. It's all over the carpet now of the Alberta Rose Theater, Suffice it to say, and I'm not saying this to pat myself on the back, but I stayed there until, I don't know, 10:30 at night, vacuuming the stage with the Shop Vac and getting. Because I felt like that is the least I could do at this point, having basically ruined everyone's life associated with the facility for this. And so I ended up staying there as best I can, dealing with the glitter. I mean, this is our last show of the season. We'll be back in the fall. We'll see if there's still glitter on that stage. I tried to vacuum up every single bit of it that I could, but I know that I played the drop. I wish I hadn't done that to introduce this story. I don't think. I wish I hadn't done that. That's a lot of negatives, dude. I think it was still fun and worth it, but I also felt bad because I thought it was funny and the crowd thought it was funny. But almost everyone associated, other than Paul, had kind of indicated that they were, let's just say, medium on the idea.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I'm glad Paul was into it, but you're not answering the biggest question that I think is on everybody's mind, which is who's the poor SOB that Paul knocked off of the number one position.

[Luke Burbank]

Who was the best part? Yeah, Hari Kondabalu, who's booked for next fall and will retake the title. Meaning we got to get two more balloons.

[Andrew Walsh]

We'll tie the title or retake the title. That'll I guess tie the title of the title.

[Luke Burbank]

So I guess tie the title. So. So that's maybe one balloon for Hari. So, I mean, it was a. Yeah, it's a completely like. And also, you know, we were backstage, Laura, our executive producer, who is very like logic based and very kind of like literal at times. I mean, also just like so funny and so good at her job. But it's like, well, I was trying to go back through the archives and double check cross reference. Like, if we're totally accurate on this thing of Paul being the most frequent guest. And I was just like, we're just calling it that, you know, I, you know, if somebody goes back and finds that somehow our numbering is off or something, I think we'll all live, probably. But like, that's my general, as you know, working with me. That's my general thought on things. But I believe that we know that it was Hari Kondabalu and we know that Hari will at least move back into a tie come next fall when he's gonna be on the show.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, good. So no blood feud there, hey, no.

[Luke Burbank]

But I did wake up with glitter in my bed and it felt, you know, it felt like I'd had quite the wild night. Woke up today, there was glitter in the bed with me.

[Andrew Walsh]

I woke up with glitter in my bed one time. I didn't even know she was spending the night. I have. What a, what a great, what a great unpredictable joke for me. I want to. That is unpredictable. And this is a humor. This is a kind of a strange time to do this, but it occurred to me there's something I really wanted to do on the show today that involves listeners that I'm going to do right now before we go to the dazzling donor, because we're talking about Big weekend and the listeners are out there creating special events for listeners to take part in for other listeners to take part in. And it's my job to let people know about these things because if we don't let people know about these things, Luke, nobody's going to show up. And I feel bad that I've been letting these sort of linger in my inbox. So I'm going to let you know about another sort of what listener Annie is calling tens helping tens event Food lifeline in Seattle's south park neighborhood. Annie organized one of these before where she got a bunch of tens to sign up and help I think package into distribute food to people who need food in Seattle south park neighborhood. It's called food Lifeline and you need to sign up if you want to partake in this one. It will take place on Saturday, June 21st. Yeah, that's my mom's birthday, but I mean, that's unrelated but I know I.

[Luke Burbank]

That'S how I celebrate.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Folks who are suffering food insecurity.

[Andrew Walsh]

Saturday June 21st from 9am to 11am so if that sounds like something you would like to do on Saturday, June 21, you need to sign up in advance and you need to sign up up by June 10, which is coming up quickly here. So you go to your email. It looks like an email annie@tbtl tensgivebackmail.com Nice Annie. Let's see here. It's TBTL tensgivebackmail.com and Annie will help you sign up for that event. I think that's a really cool thing and I think this is a really cool thing too. We're talking about baseball before. Krista in Eastlake is organizing a Rainiers meetup, a tens meetup at a Rainiers game that is August 10th. It's a Sunday game. August 10th, 1:30pm it says TBTL is Rainiers fans. Please RSVP either on the Facebook if you're over there on the stents page, or let's see. You can also email [e-mail] do that by June 30th and it costs $16. It includes a seat, a ballpark meal, which is a hot dog, goldfish and a water bottle goldfish. I believe the snack. You're not actually going to get a goldfish in a bag to take home as a pet, I believe. But TBTL Seattle 10s at Gmail to reach out to Krista about getting tickets to that only 16 bucks Rainier's game.

[Luke Burbank]

How much more for me to stand where Cole Young was standing when he got the news that he was going up to the majors?

[Andrew Walsh]

I know. So sweet. How do you feel about the mustache situation there? I miss it, man.

[Luke Burbank]

I love the mustache. I'm very. First of all, as a person who can't grow a stage, I mean, listen, I don't want to get into talking about people's bodies etc, but man, Cole Young, handsome, handsome, young feller. I was getting early Don Mattingly vibes when he had the Stash, and, and, and I was sad to see it go. And I also think his performance has dipped as the Stash. His performance being he got a base hit and then he hit into a fielder's choice that master bony legged out in extra innings, which was still a big moment, though.

[Andrew Walsh]

Big moment. Huge moment.

[Luke Burbank]

And like, you know, but yeah, I would like him to bring the Stash back. I thought the Stash was a. Was a nice look for him. So, yeah, I have to say that, like, you know, I really. My heart is. Is warmed when I hear about. And I think about the tens getting out there and, and doing fun things together. And doing fun things together that benefit other people. So I want to say thanks to the folks organizing that stuff. And if you're near where one of those events are, please go join them and, and, and have a great time with some other people who for some reason tolerate this podcast. We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle. On your mark.

[Andrew Walsh]

On your mark.

[Luke Burbank]

Get set, get set now. Ready, ready, go, everybody. Razzle dazzle. Speaking of people who not only tolerate this podcast, Andrew, but support it financially, let's thank some dazzling donors. These folks are donating a dazzling amount of dough, and we would not be here doing this if not for folks like Samir Qureshi, who's in Porter Ranch, California.

[Andrew Walsh]

Porter Ranch?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that's Porter Ranch. I don't know. I'd be guessing. It's. It's a. I feel like it's a suburb or even an excerpt of Los Angeles.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is the LA area. Because I'll tell you what, Luke, I pre read this message yesterday. And not only did I pre read this message, I sent it to a friend of mine because I'm gonna. I don't usually. This might be history here. Trigger warning.

[Luke Burbank]

Let me get a balloon full of confetti. I wanna pop it over somebody. This is exciting.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is the first ever trigger warning on a dazzling donor message. And it's because this is gonna make you so damn hungry. Like what we're about to read, if we can get through it without just like closing our computers and running down to LA to one of Samir's restaurants. We are heroes. We are broadcast heroes.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, I have not pre read this, so I'm about to experience this in real time. Samir says TBTL has been my daily escape from the Today Times. Even when I lost my job in January 2024, I kept donating because my nine shout out to my amazing partner knew how much it means to me. Oh, that's. That's an interesting negotiation within a family partnership structure. Hey, I know that right now I'm not super employed, but I would like to keep donating to this podcast. How do you feel about that? For the family bookkeeping? So shout out to Samir's partner for co signing this. We really appreciate you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Absolutely.

[Luke Burbank]

Samir says this year I took a wild leap and I opened not one but two quick service restaurants. White Rice in Montebello and Panda Sal's in Bellflower. Okay, now I know exactly if Porter Ranch is near Montebello and Bellflower. I know exactly where that is. If There are any LA10s who are hungry, come by. Listen to this, guys. At White Rice, we serve Filipino silog bowls featuring favorites like crispy lechon, savory chicken adobo and tofu and mushroom sisig for our vegan friends. All served on top of garlicky rice with a sunny side up egg. Are you kidding me?

[Andrew Walsh]

Now, Luke, can you do that again in your best Alec Baldwin voice? I didn't even hear it. Wasn't until I heard you reading it out loud that I realized this is like one of those Blue Apron commercials that used to be you.

[Luke Burbank]

Liquid is dishes like crispy lechon, savory chicken adobo and tofu and mushroom sisig for our vegan friends.

[Andrew Walsh]

Very nice.

[Luke Burbank]

All served on top of garlicky rice with a sunny side up egg. Don't forget our UBE pandasal with UBE whipped butter for something a little sweeter. It's ube's world, Andrew. We just live in it. Are you familiar with the whole UBE situation?

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know if I am. What is ube? I feel like it's something that I've had, but I just can't picture right now.

[Luke Burbank]

UBE is a. It's a kind of a purple yam that is native to the Philippines and it's added to a lot of stuff. It's really having kind of a moment, particularly in California, I think. We had a story on Sunday Morning. I wasn't the correspondent, but I remember my friend Young Kim was like, oh yeah, I've been out in California doing a story on. On ube. So it's kind of a sweet additive to things. Anyway, people love UBE over at Panda Sal's. It's all about smash burgers on a sweet and savory panacelle bun.

[Andrew Walsh]

That sounds so damn good. I seriously, I sent this to My buddy. I'm just like, we got to move to la. Like, my friend is actually moving back to the West Coast. He's like, yeah, this makes me want to move back to the west coast so much. That's how much I've been. I've been salivating over these. Just the words alone.

[Luke Burbank]

I know. This sounds so, so good to me. So listen, if you are anywhere in the greater la, Greater Porter Ranch, greater Montebello or Bellflower area, hit up one of Samir's restaurants. Hit up either White Rice or the other one is called Panda Sals. Is that right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Do I have that right? Yes, yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Hit up one of those places. Samir says, hey, and because TBTL has given me so much, I want to give back. Introduce yourself as a 10. You get 10% off your meal.

[Andrew Walsh]

Nice. Use promo code. I'm a 10.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Only just use promo code.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm salivating onto my shirt.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

I just walk it. You walk into the restaurant, you just have like water pouring down onto your. Onto your shirt. He'll know. And then here's what I would say. You get the 10% off, you put it right back in the tip jar.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, that's just free money. You get that 10% discount and then you just reinvest it back in. Samir and Samir's employees. Thanks to Luke, Andrew and John and the Tens for being part of my journey. What you do is so important. Ah, Samir, thank you. And really good luck with the rest of next time I'm down there. If I'm anywhere close, I will definitely stop by for something. So thank you, Samir. We appreciate you. Maestro, on your mark. On your mark. Get set, get set now.

[Andrew Walsh]

Ready?

[Luke Burbank]

Ready, Go.

[Andrew Walsh]

Everybody rattle daddle.

[Luke Burbank]

It's Brett and Amy Hanson, pronounced We believe in you. I love it. I needed that. They're in Seattle, Washington, and Brett and Amy say, hey, gang. Thanks for another year of excellent daily content for our ears. My wife and TBTL progenitor Amy and I were delighted that we could go dazzling again this year with our fives. Rockwell. Who can forget Rockwell, by the way? It's just. It's a name that jumps. Jumps out of you like a rat in your underwear drawer.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sorry, Rockwell.

[Luke Burbank]

Sorry. Rockwell 5 Rockwell, he of the Murder She Wrote piano playing and his brother, Mack, of all things Dungeons and Dragons. Support your local movie enterprise for us in Seattle. We're members of the Grand Illusion Cinema who are moving and have pop ups until they find their new home. Go to grandillusioncinema.org it's so funny, Andrew, because when I imagine Brett and Amy Hansen and Rockwell and all of them, I'm not kidding. Maybe because. Did you bump into them in the U District or something?

[Andrew Walsh]

I imagined that a couple of times. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I imagine them at the University Heights Farmer's Market, which is Kitty Corner from where the Grand Illusion used to be. Like, when their name comes up, does your brain do this sometimes? Like you. You orient a person in sort of space for whatever reason. It must have been because you mentioned at some point, running into them in the U District, running into Brett in the U District. But when their names come up, I just picture. So there's that. That it was like an elementary school. I think it's a community center now called University Heights. It's got that big parking lot. And they do. They used to do. Anyway, farmers markets right across from the Jack in the Box. They're at.

[Andrew Walsh]

What are we talking, 45th and. And the Ave. Right? Or. No, no, I'm sorry. That's 50th, right?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. And then if you were to go Kitty Corner from that, from University Heights, you'd be at the Grand Illusion, where in college I saw so many cool movies. I love that place. And I was really bummed to hear that they were. That they were taking a break. But they were very clear were the Grand Illusion folks. They're not closing down. They're just moving. So I'm so glad to hear that they're gonna be popping up somewhere else. If you like physical media like we do, Scarecrow Video is still out in these streets as a nonprofit with Ken Jennings on the board. Now slang and tapes and DVDs and Blu Rays and laserdiscs by mail, too. You can go to scarecrowvideo.org have you ever on one of your gallivants, Andrew, have you ever been cruising around on Roosevelt and popped into Scarecrow Video?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah. I think that we are members now. The problem is we don't have a good device anymore to play DVDs. My old Xbox had the ability to play DVDs. And Genevieve was listening to a podcast that isn't around anymore. That was a great podcast that focused on the war movies. However you define war movies. It was the.

[Luke Burbank]

Wasn't that like. Didn't Rodrick host it?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, it was John Roderick and our buddies. Our buddies who also had the other podcast where they got glitter bombed, coincidentally. Same people there. So anyway, yeah, so we used to get rent movies. Well, really, Genevieve did. And we definitely support Scarecrow Video. Unfortunately, we don't. We don't rent from them as much, but it is a very important organization to keep going. I could not agree with that more.

[Luke Burbank]

If you need to borrow my DVD Blu Ray player, you can. Although my dad is currently locking it up with a bunch of weird DVDs of some British show that stars Sean Bean. It stars like a 19 Sean Bean, he of Lord of the Rings and also, I guess, Game of Thrones fame. Right?

[Andrew Walsh]

One does not simply give away one's Blu Ray player. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

And like this is how weird I am. I'm like, I have. I'm so hyper specific about this shelf that, that is under the TV that's built into the wall that the Blu Ray player sits on.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. You don't want cables and stuff hanging off.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't want cables. You know, me and the cable management now. And I'm proud of where I'm at with that.

[Andrew Walsh]

That.

[Luke Burbank]

But it was so nice. It just was like very clean. It had one device on it. And then I come home one day and it's just got all of these like a box set of some random British show starring like a 20 year old Sean Bean and just like everywhere. And I'm like, walt, read the room, bro. I've got a whole thing going here. So now I have tucked those way in the back of the shelf where.

[Andrew Walsh]

People are supposed to live comfortably or.

[Luke Burbank]

Watch DVDs on the DVD player. That is not what this place is about. This is about satisfying some ineffable hole in my being that can never be filled. But I'm gonna keep trying. Anyway, thank you very much to Brett and Amy and Rockwell and Mac for, for supporting TPT. Oh, by the way, scarecrow video.org we want to mention, because they also mail stuff out. So if you're somewhere far away from Scarecrow, but you just want to go check out what they're doing, you can do that. Amy Brett, by the way, listed as senior neti pot correspondent.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah. Very into the neti pots. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Signing out from the U district. Thank you all very much. We. We appreciate it. Hello and welcome to Top Story. All right, our top story, it's a Friday, which means we've got another update, another clue in the great TBTL billboard hunt, which of course means also a visit from our dear friend and colleague, TBTL employee numero uno. Oh my God. Yeah. John Sklaroff. Hey, buddy.

[John Sklaroff]

Hey, guys. How's it going?

[Andrew Walsh]

Good, good, good.

[Luke Burbank]

So another week, another update in this contest. Do you want to sort of of. I Don't know.

[Andrew Walsh]

Re.

[Luke Burbank]

Reset and reframe in case somebody's tuning in for the first time.

[John Sklaroff]

Yeah, sure. So we are putting up a billboard somewhere in America. We've determined at least that much so far.

[Luke Burbank]

Nice.

[John Sklaroff]

We're giving out clues every week. And the winner. If anyone guesses the location, we're gonna give them a little prize at the end. In the meantime, we've given out two clues so far. A bunch of people have sent in guesses. So I'm here for clue three.

[Luke Burbank]

Nice.

[John Sklaroff]

How's that as a reset?

[Andrew Walsh]

It's lovely. Great.

[Luke Burbank]

Now, the first clue was that it's in the United States of America.

[John Sklaroff]

Yes, it's in America.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And the second clue was an audio clue, which was an idea Andrew had that I feel was very strong. And it has apparently been. It's been creating all kinds of interesting responses too. Andrew, do you still have that audio clue around? Am I bugging you?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, mean to bug you. That's just the short version of it. But that's the important part. Something that I have dubbed an anti clue, I believe a clue that does more to obs. How do I say that word? Luke, how does one say that word? Obfuscate the issue more than actually help?

[Luke Burbank]

But no, no, no. It's helped me have some joy return to my life because I've been talking to tens at like, Livewire events and other places where I happen to be chatting with someone who knows about the show. Even my. My own brother. When we were at my. We were hanging out with family last weekend and I just love how absolutely confusing that clue was.

[Andrew Walsh]

Did you tell. So this is this your brother David from the basement?

[Luke Burbank]

This is my brother David from the basement.

[Andrew Walsh]

So he's a regular listener of this show. Did you spill the beans? You didn't tell him?

[Luke Burbank]

Really?

[Andrew Walsh]

No.

[Luke Burbank]

It was really hard.

[Andrew Walsh]

Really? I got.

[Luke Burbank]

It was weird. Honestly, like, it was. It wasn't weird. He didn't make it weird. He took it in stride. But it felt weird to me to be sitting there with my beloved brother and not sharing information with him. But I didn't because I was like. I was just like. I don't. I did show him. I did show him what the billboard will look like that much. I was not. I was. I didn't tell him where the billboard would be. I didn't tell him. He. He gained no useful information about the location of the billboard. I did allow him to see what the image will be. And I will tell you what. It had the desired effect.

[Andrew Walsh]

John, do we know and Again, we can't talk about what the billboard is. I think people are gonna be pretty delighted when they see it. Delighted when they see it. But I did. Not to brag. But I did. This is my first foray into billboard design and I have a lot of anxiety about whether or not they're going to like, sort of like, is it high res enough? Have we gotten any response from the billboard company? Like, hey, this. And I don't mean like just like, do they approve of the design? They have to, we're paying them. But like is it big enough? Is it like, do they have what they need from me?

[John Sklaroff]

You know, I've. I've reached out a couple times like, hey, making sure it's a good. I haven't heard. And I've been in contact with the sales rep and he is not since asking those questions.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, well.

[John Sklaroff]

And he has not indicated any issues.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good.

[Luke Burbank]

And good Ganous. To quote Gary Gnu. Yeah, no, Gnu's is good Ganous. Right, Right. Okay. So that's where we're at. It's somewhere in America and somehow Bono saying. Am I bugging you? I don't mean to bug you. Yeah. Also if. If interpreted in the right way, could put people in the direction of this place. What is. Do you want?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, what are some of the. Yeah. What are some.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

We want to get some of the guesses so far. Sure. Okay, that makes sense.

[John Sklaroff]

Which by the way, shout out to dftb. Please send in your response too. I want to hear what his guesses are now that he's seen it.

[Luke Burbank]

That's interesting.

[John Sklaroff]

Yeah, he has not submitted a guess. All right, so we've done a bunch of people. The three main ones that people have guessed are all U2 specific. So we have Denver because Red Rocks, as Andrew pointed out to us pre show is where Rattle and Hum was recorded.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. This is Red Rocks. This is the Edge.

[John Sklaroff]

So a lot of people have been guessing Denver. A lot of people guessing Joshua Tree. Of course, that's one of U2's most famous albums. I like the buzzer element. That's a new.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[John Sklaroff]

There's also apparently at least two towns called Bono in America. One in Ohio and one in Arkansas. Is that multiple people have been guessing those.

[Andrew Walsh]

Great.

[Luke Burbank]

Also not correct, but great.

[John Sklaroff]

And then I'll just say also there's because the bug in part Bug Tussle, Alabama.

[Luke Burbank]

Now that's creative thinking and I like it.

[Andrew Walsh]

And so wrong.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[John Sklaroff]

So we got a lot I won't get. There's like so many guesses after two clues. We don't need to get in all of them, but I will. A special shout out. I forget who sent in. Somebody did say Utica, New York. So I do appreciate. I appreciate that one personally, but that's a unicorn thing.

[Luke Burbank]

We are comfortable sort of clarifying and verifying that it is not any of those places. Correct. It's not Red Rocks. It's not Bug Tussle. It's not any of the towns named Bono. It's not even the Edge, Missouri. Is that a place? No, it's not. Larry Mullins Jr. Virginia.

[Andrew Walsh]

Three billboards outside of the Edge, Missouri.

[Luke Burbank]

Not those places, but those are great guesses. Those are all they are.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love them. Yeah.

[John Sklaroff]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

So, okay. So we are. We're here for clue number three. Of course. I have to set you up with a little drum roll.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's a short one.

[John Sklaroff]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

That was enough time, by the way, for me to check my voicemail and read the transcription that the guy from the gravel company is not coming out today. Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, geez.

[Luke Burbank]

I know. Right after I was getting all nervous.

[Andrew Walsh]

For nothing, but that affects the broadcast now. We had so much like kind of like cliffhanger action hanging on that.

[Luke Burbank]

I know. It's like. And honestly, it's like I've been out to this place. Let's just see what. What Amanda has to say.

[Andrew Walsh]

Love that this is how this.

[Luke Burbank]

The.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love that this is.

[John Sklaroff]

This is all Q3.

[Andrew Walsh]

We had.

[Luke Burbank]

Someone calling in the office.

[Andrew Walsh]

This morning, and Tony is not going.

[Luke Burbank]

To be able to make it out to your estimate.

[Andrew Walsh]

So I was calling to try to reschedule it.

[Luke Burbank]

If you could give me a call back, that would be great. Tony, I think, honestly, you guys could.

[Andrew Walsh]

You.

[Luke Burbank]

You guys could work without. Like, you can get by without Tony for 30 minutes before he comes over here.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think we need.

[Luke Burbank]

That's not what we're here to talk about.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, we need the drum roll again.

[Luke Burbank]

We're here to announce clue number three.

[John Sklaroff]

It's gonna be such a letdown when they hear it.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, John, clue number three in the tbtl. The great TBTL Billboard hunt.

[John Sklaroff]

Luke and Andrew almost hitchhiked through the state this place is in.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[John Sklaroff]

So that does narrow it down.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Yeah. This might involve a little going back and listening to some of those shows when we hitchhiked down the sort of route of the Mississippi river to figure out where we went and where we didn't go and where we almost went. So we almost hitchhiked through the state where the billboard location is. Almost. Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right. Just the state. So if you can identify the. The state, then you've certainly narrowed it down. We haven't even identified the state yet. Now, I want to be very clear. When we say Luke and Andrew, this means together as part. This isn't part of like Luke's drifter years before I knew him. Right. This has to be an official TBTL hit show.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, this is the. This is the officially sanctioned. Okay, good project that we did very famously. Not the. What I call the lost years.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

I was a. I was a rolling stone gathering no us through various Midwest towns.

[Andrew Walsh]

All right, that's. That's good to know. Well, I think the listeners. I'm really, really impressed with those listeners. Responses like those were very creative and they almost make me wish we were going to some of those places just because I like the answers and the way Bug tussle. Yeah, Bug Tussle. Maybe that's next year. We put up a billboard in Bug Tussle.

[Luke Burbank]

Where's Bug tussle again?

[John Sklaroff]

Alabama, I believe.

[Luke Burbank]

Kentucky. There might be a few.

[John Sklaroff]

There might be a few.

[Luke Burbank]

Do. I'm on the bug. I'm on Bug Tussle Kentucky. And. Oh, I'm looking at the old Bug Tussle General Store.

[John Sklaroff]

Oh, there's also one in Oklahoma. Somebody sent into.

[Luke Burbank]

What is a bug tussle? Is it fighting with a bug?

[Andrew Walsh]

Sounds like it.

[Luke Burbank]

Tussling with an insect tussle. Yeah. Like, I mean, if there's two bug tussles or is that. Was that just somebody's last name? Boy, you look at the Bug Tussle General Store and you do realize that Main street is dying.

[John Sklaroff]

I'd like to. I'd like to point out a website called banjo hangout.org origin of being a bug Tussle. Yeah, Bug tussle is a wonderfully evocative phrase, but what does it mean? This is actually not.

[Andrew Walsh]

They're not going to answer the question. There's nothing. This is like, how do you hard boil an egg? And instead you get somebody's life story.

[Luke Burbank]

Once again, banjohangout.com is let me down.

[John Sklaroff]

It's dot org.

[Andrew Walsh]

I gotta find a better news source for sure. Absolutely.

[Luke Burbank]

So remind me, how many clues are we giving out? Is it five total?

[John Sklaroff]

There's gonna be five. So there's two more clues after this that will hopefully narrow things down or make things more concrete or easier to figure it out.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I mean, and that's by design. Just so you know, there is a plan in place where we. We start. Started. We Started very with the aperture wide open on this, and we're going to be kind of giving folks a little bit more information to go on. So now you can kind of. I think if. If you remember anything about that hitchhiking trip, you can. You can sort of rule out, like the state of Hawaii.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what I mean? Like, you can, like you. We're. Is it okay for me to say we're. We're focusing down on, like, more the middle part of America. Is that okay? Am I giving away too much?

[John Sklaroff]

I mean, well, if I say we.

[Luke Burbank]

If we almost hitchhiked through the state.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

We're not talking about we almost hitchhiked through Florida.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right, Right. And I mean, I think we. I mean, we can. I mean, can we just. I mean. Sorry, how many times can I say. I mean, can we. I mean, can we. We can reiterate where we hitchhiked. Right? Can we just say that now on the show? We've said it many, many times. It's a huge part of tbt. Allure is part of the public record. It's canon. We hitchhiked with a cannon from the Twin Cities.

[John Sklaroff]

Can I. TV time at you guys. So quick as the person's gonna be receiving all the guesses, do we want. Don't we want people to have to work for this and figure it out themselves? Like they have to go back to the archives and listen, or you just want the. The guesses to be flooding in.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're just trying to drum up the.

[Luke Burbank]

Numbers, hashtag engagement, which is kind of one of John's jobs, which.

[John Sklaroff]

So I don't also, I don't want to receive a thousand.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, well, you guys can go back. It's very. It's pretty easy to figure out where we hitchhiked to and from back in. This would have been 2018 or 19, I think. Think probably because if we just relived the miracle on dirt, that was 2017 and the hitchhiking trip was a year or two after that. So you can kind of figure it out and what swath of the country we went through. And so this clue, just to be very clear, is going to help people identify the state. But we're not looking. The answer is not a state. The answer is an area, city, a township, a village, whatever inside of the state. But this will at least help you narrow down the state, hopefully, that we're talking about. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

But I think what Andrew wants to clarify is that. That if you figure out the state that we are talking about, that is not going to be a sufficient answer to win the competition. You've actually got to name the actual place where the billboard is going up.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now, let me ask you guys. And we should have talked about this off air. And I apologize if you're going to be mad at me for having this conversation on air. But if somebody somehow sort of identifies the state, should we reveal that next week? Should we like, kind of narrow down to the states next week when you come on the show?

[Luke Burbank]

I can.

[Andrew Walsh]

We only have two more clues.

[John Sklaroff]

The clue next week really hones in. Well, now.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, you're right. You're right. The next clue will also.

[John Sklaroff]

Yeah, because right now we're giving the a swath of the country next week. The clue is more specific to that state.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is. Okay, sounds good. Well, next. I think things are going to start shaking loose here. You guys are doing great no matter how much I try to obscure things with my booking you. Yeah, there you go.

[John Sklaroff]

Can I also say there's.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. Next week's clue is off of Zoo Ropa.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. Zoo tv.

[John Sklaroff]

There's also.

[Luke Burbank]

I believe I saw that, that tour with the Kingdom with the Mummy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wow. How was it?

[Luke Burbank]

They came out of a giant egg, which was Echoes of Spinal.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, no kidding. I mean, that was a huge wall of TVs, right? Like.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I think that was the one experience. Yeah, it was. I think that was the tour. What I remember was they came out of a giant bejeweled egg. Now, that might have not been Zoo tv. That might have been the one before. But I did see. I did see you two play the Kingdome, which tells you how old I am.

[John Sklaroff]

Yeah, yeah. I'll shout out real quick in slack some tens. Create a billboard speculation channel. So if you're like really in, really into this and you want like brainstorm with some other 10, you should jump into that Slack channel too. I would say yes, because there's some fun watching. Watching in real time as people are like, well, this means this. Maybe this is. This has also been a fun part of this for me, too. And so I want at least one.

[Luke Burbank]

Listener to be basically that Charlie Day meme from It's Always Funny. There's like the strings going up everywhere in their little windowless room as they try to figure this out.

[John Sklaroff]

Who is Pepe Silva?

[Luke Burbank]

Is that the actual thing that he's tried to figure out?

[John Sklaroff]

I think so.

[Luke Burbank]

Who is Pepe? I'll trust you on that. Well, all right. Well, John, thank you so much. This has actually turned out to be really fun. So thanks for helping put this together. We appreciate it, man. All right. And, people, if you. If you have a guest, email johnbtl.net and one other thing, and I know I didn't ask permission on this or run this by y' all, and I know we're not trying to, like, cloud the message here, but while we have John on the show, if you have a favorite TBTL moment, we are accepting your nomination for what you think the greatest moment in TBTL history is. Ideally, if you have the episode number, that would help, but you can also email those ideas to johntbt.net so, yeah.

[John Sklaroff]

It'S really fun to see people share some of their favorite moments.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's really cool. We just need validation. That's what the project.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that's the project.

[Andrew Walsh]

Remind us when we did something that made you laugh, please.

[Luke Burbank]

Since this gravel guy isn't showing up today, I've been feeling pretty low. I really need something. So. Anyway. All right. Thanks, John. Appreciate you, man.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'll catch you later. This is my box. This is my box. I never travel without my box.

[Luke Burbank]

What's in the box?

[Andrew Walsh]

In the first drawer, I keep my magic stones. Oh.

[Luke Burbank]

What's in the box?

[Andrew Walsh]

Licorice.

[Luke Burbank]

Licorice.

[Andrew Walsh]

Black, sweet licorice. Black, sweet licorice. Have some. All right, Luke, I mentioned to you on the show yesterday that I have had a tote bag with some gifts for us under my desk for, like, a month now. We've been meaning to open them up. These are things that the listeners. Listeners have sent us. And if you have anything that you need to get to us. And again, I am not out here saying that the listeners need to buy us gifts. They do not. The listeners do so much for us already. But I do know that sometimes people like to reach out in some way. And so if you're looking to send something, the P.O. box is. You can just send it to two beautiful to live, P.O. box 33687, Seattle, Washington, 98133. It's also on the website in the contact section of tbtl.net if you're looking for the that. But it looks like maybe. Luke, I got two packages here.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think it looks like some of them that were just, like, returned to tbtl. Thank you. Gifts that didn't quite make it to the recipients overseas. So we don't have to worry about those. But we did get this package. This isn't a prime envelope, but I believe it's a prime envelope that maybe.

[Luke Burbank]

Has either been part of it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let's See, it's sent to me and it's just from an Amazon fulfillment center. So I can. I can't tell who this is from, but I can tell you what it is. It is a box, Luke, of your interest and mine, combining a box of four Minecraft PEZ dispensers. What do you think of that?

[Luke Burbank]

I think it's amazing. What won't they integrate into a PEZ dispenser?

[Andrew Walsh]

These are very.

[Luke Burbank]

Are you going to eat the candy? Are you going to display the PEZ dispensers? Are you going to.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, there.

[Luke Burbank]

Find a. Well, you're. I see you opening it. So I guess the question is, oh.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you think that I should keep it in the box so that it'll be worth a lot of money someday?

[Luke Burbank]

Or maybe, I don't know, you could pass it on to a Gus or some Gus. Gus is like 20 now.

[Andrew Walsh]

Some older than me now.

[Luke Burbank]

Some. How did he do that? I don't know. Some young Minecraft fan.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, I'm happy to share these, but I still want the unboxing experience. You know, I wasn't going to open it right away until you reminded me that there's actually legit candy involved. And I do kind of want some candy. So let me take these out. So you have various characters. Unfortunately, I don't know the lore of Minecraft well enough, but I do know that this is like a. What they believe, I believe they call a creeper. These little things get close to you and they explode. This little green guy, this little guy with.

[Luke Burbank]

I think that's a chicken jockey. Chicken jockey.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is a little. This is just a guy with a little beard. So I'm assuming that maybe that's the character that one plays. Maybe this is like the. The character.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Right. And that character has a name and I believe is Jack Black playing him.

[Andrew Walsh]

Probably look up the Minecraft movie while I try to. Steve.

[Luke Burbank]

Isn't his name Steve?

[Andrew Walsh]

That sounds about right. Well, then who's this? Because here's another. Like, just looks like kind of a normal human foxy lady. Oh, okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Don't you think that might be a female character?

[Andrew Walsh]

Maybe. I really have no idea, but I'm into it. And then the final one is. Is I can't remember what these things are called, but they're the scariest thing in Minecraft. They go around. Is this the creeper?

[Luke Burbank]

Chicken jockey.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is the chicken jockey.

[Luke Burbank]

Chicken jockey.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's the little black character. It's an all black sort of.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you encounter that when you're off in your, like, solo homesteading experience. Because that's one of the things that's interesting is I was always thinking, well, Andrew plays Minecraft. Or you used to sometimes. I thought, he'll know all of the Minecraft lore. But it sounds like you are a recluse.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

You kind of go off somewhere and you just like do your thing. So you're not part of the whole larger chicken jockey conversation.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, the thing is, these things do pop up. I'm trying to get the candy open. Now, this is why you play the game. To get to the candy. You know, when you're playing by yourself, you can you still encounter these. I kind of like. I guess they call them mobs. Although I feel a little bit like a phony saying that. I don't know if I've ever used that term before, but I do think that's the proper terminology. Can you look up. What are the. What is the scary monster? Scary Minecraft.

[Luke Burbank]

Hold on, I'm on banjo hangout.org. i'm gonna see what.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, that's where you're gonna get. What are these things called? Because, like, the green guys explode on you, but then these black sort of like ghost like characters go around moving things and they leave you alone. Unless, Luke, you look in their eyes. If you look directly in their direction, they freak out on you and they come running at you like at lightning speed and just absolutely.

[Luke Burbank]

Creepers, wardens, trident, downed skeleton horsemen, silverfish or anything.

[Andrew Walsh]

The creeper is the green guy that explodes. Let's see. Okay, let me see. I. I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm looking up the scary Minecraft mobs.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I can't. Is it called. Well, this isn't really working out. Well, either way, I'm gonna eat the hell out of some of these orange.

[Luke Burbank]

Pez when I have to tell you, dude, start with the orange. When I was in. Speaking of orange, I was in Orange, Connecticut, at. At the PEZ US PEZ headquarters. And they make the candy there. It's also where the gift. It's like where the museum is, but they also actually make the candy. And I got to eat the candy coming right out of the friggin spigot. Like it was warm still.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is like. This is as close to a Wonka experience as you would get.

[Luke Burbank]

It was pretty wonky. Wonka. Ish.

[Andrew Walsh]

I have not loaded a PEZ dispenser since I was 8 years old.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I see. I like that you're gonna actually take the time to load It. This is nice. As opposed to just basically mainlining the candy. This is good. You're doing it the responsible way. I just put my hand under like a frigging waterfall of EZ candies and then just was eating them and I was actually surprised at how good they were. I was having the orange as well, by the way.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, orange is what I had to dig for them too. Yeah, this is hard to do. I feel like there was a way that you were supposed to load it by like you could load them all at the same time if you carefully opened it. Right. Or do you have to load them one PEZ candy at a time and so you're touching them all.

[Luke Burbank]

I am guessing that the, the real heads, the people that, you know, live this PEZ lifestyle and, you know, that's a thing, right. They have these PEZ conventions where they just take over like an entire floor of a hotel and everyone sets up a little display situation in their room which is of all of their kind of cool and rare pez. And apparently they've been in talking to some of the people. People, they've been banned from certain hotels because there's so much PEZ dust when they leave because they're shooting each other with the PEZ guns and there's just like so much kind of leftover PEZ problems. Oh, wow. That is actually really cool.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, look at that feel.

[Luke Burbank]

Genuinely exciting.

[Andrew Walsh]

It really is. Can I eat on the air?

[Luke Burbank]

Wow. Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

My first PEZ in decades. I don't know who sent this.

[Luke Burbank]

This.

[Andrew Walsh]

You've made my day. This is delightful. I am a child again, Luke.

[Luke Burbank]

I know. It's. I, I have to say, like, you know, having done this little story on this whole thing and like gone out there, I was pretty shocked at how quickly I reverted back to my like 9 year old self of just being like, this is legitimately cool. And also, I love this candy because I was also kind of thinking like, well, is this really a candy thing or is this just like a, you know, you like an excuse to have like a cool toy that has, you know, Bart Simpson on it or something. Something. But the candy is actually legit. Pretty tasty.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, it's all right. I'm glad I started with orange. That was good.

[Luke Burbank]

That's. I think that's the top flavor.

[Andrew Walsh]

Boy did one PEZ and I can't broadcast anymore. I had to take a little sip of water. Now I got one more package here. This is a box. This is like a solid, like what's in the box. Looks like it's sent from listener Tiffany in California. It may be Campbell, California. Maybe. I don't want to give her assassination coordinates to everybody.

[Luke Burbank]

Weird thing to go do to Tiffany after all she's trying to do is be nice to tbtl.

[Andrew Walsh]

But exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

You never know. People are crazy.

[Andrew Walsh]

This feels. I will tell you this. As I struggle to open the box, it feels substantial. Whatever is in here, it feels expensive, Luke. And that's what I'm excited about.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that's why I get half of it. I mean, the shipping alone was 19.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, you can see that. Wow. It is 19.15.

[Luke Burbank]

Geez. That's a Sterlington ring.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let me see here. There's a little card in here. There's some objects in here, but there's a card. And I will say this, Luke, while under TBTL law, I must share the PEZ dispensers with you. We have to divide them up equally and the candy, but not this one. Well, this has an envelope that just says Andrew on it. Now, this is where I get nervous. I'm bad. Bad at reading handwriting. And this is a pretty long one, but it does look like some. That. It does look. Look like.

[Luke Burbank]

Who's it signed by?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's what I'm trying to figure out here. I'm really. So it is signed by Tiffany.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm looking to relocate back to Australia. I think that says there. But I. I'm sorry that I can't read that. It's hard for me to read actual handwriting on the air cold like that. I kind of can't. It's a little.

[Luke Burbank]

What I can tell Tiffany, by the way, is Australia is a wonderful island.

[Andrew Walsh]

That is for sure.

[Luke Burbank]

So just if you needed a little more. More encouragement to get out there to Australia. I can't believe that. Like I said, whatever's in there, it was $19 just to send it to us.

[Andrew Walsh]

You today, it can be yours for just $19. 90. It looks like this contains some snack spoons for cats. Maybe put your. You put it. It says. It says, cat happy spoon. The best partner of cat treats. How to use. Oh, I see. It's for churus. Do you ever mess around with those churros things? Those are like the squeezy little, like, kind of gravy. And it kind of gets your hand messy. So it looks like you can sort of like wedge one into here.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I see. Gotcha. And then you can, like. You can kind of like press it down and get all of the. All of the goo out of the churu without Getting it all over yourself.

[Andrew Walsh]

That also.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a very clever invention.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's smart because like the cats like to eat them directly out of those little packages. But. But bingo. I think he's gotten a little bit better at it. But he is so ravenous at all times that he sees food and he becomes crazy. He starts eating the churu package, which then like kind of like freaks us out because we don't want that going through his gutty work. So that would prevent that. And then what else is in here is what looks like something that is quite.

[Luke Burbank]

Jeez, excuse me. Are you getting a. Some kind of a buried treasure record? What's it say?

[Andrew Walsh]

It says record album. This is.

[Luke Burbank]

Those are all like 45.

[Andrew Walsh]

A very ancient collection of 45s in a book. And we're talking. What are we talking here as far as what these records are? There's probably about 25 records in here. We got the best of it by Thorinshield. I don't know who.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, sure, you got a Thorinshield record.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think. Think it's first pressing on that original. The voice of Scott McKenzie. What's the difference? Chapter two. I don't know what's going on there, but I need to go through all of these.

[Luke Burbank]

That one of the really exciting kids in the hall? Scott McKenzie?

[Andrew Walsh]

I believe so. He was the sixth kid in the hall. We got Dolly Dawn. We got Star. Oh, Harry Belafonte singing Dolly Dawn.

[Luke Burbank]

I just bought a Harry Belafonte record.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Album. I should say when. I. I'll tell you what is great about having a record player is no matter how shitty the garage sale, there's probably something you could buy there because Becca and I were walking around this very fancy neighborhood in Portland called Irvington because they had a neighborhood wide garage sale. But we got there kind of late, like after the real hardcore people. So a lot of the stuff had been sort of picked over, but I still managed to pick up like five or six albums from this particular garage sale that I'm so excited about. One of them is Harry Belafonte. Like, it's just kind of fun having a record player so that any record you see at an estate sale you could pick up and it could kind of, you know, bring it home and take a listen.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't want to make you jealous, but I have a copy here of Jimmy Charles singing the Hopscotch Hop. That's not up my alley.

[Luke Burbank]

We're sharing this. I don't care what Tiffany wrote in that card.

[Andrew Walsh]

We're sharing this I'll give you one extra PEZ dispenser and I keep the records. But this is great. Thank you so much. So I got from the impression of Tiffany's note without like, kind of putting myself on the spot to read the whole thing, that maybe Tiffany is downsizing a little bit and why don't you.

[Luke Burbank]

Just have AI preview it for you?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, it's AI summary.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, the irony is this is a case where an AI summary would actually be useful for you, but it's a handwritten card, so that's not going to happen.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. But, yeah, this is a lot of fun. And this was sent to me there back in late March. I'm sorry it took me a while to open a. But it's very, very sweet. So thank you both the anonymous person and Tiffany.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, thanks. Mystery PEZ sender. You know, I think I'm getting kind of a little bit of a taste of my own medicine with Walt and the Loader PEZ thing that I got him or the Hobbit PEZ thing that I got him.

[Andrew Walsh]

What character was it? Just a. I'm eating more pez.

[Luke Burbank]

It's the Hobbit. So it's kind of an assortment of characters from that particular movie. And one of the things I found out was he already has the Lord of the Rings kit set. The pez. He already has the Lord of the Rings pez.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good grief.

[Luke Burbank]

So I got him the Hobbit pez, which I just got, you know, at the museum, at the gift shop there. But then in much the way that, like, when, like, you know, I love my mom dearly and deeply, but there are. There have been times historically where I. I've received a present from her, which I've then left at their house because maybe I had forgotten about it or I didn't know where I'd put it when I got home or whatever. And it's kind of like bummed my mom out. And I think I was always kind of like, you know, like, what's the big deal? Yeah, well, my dad has absolutely missed at least five opportunities to take this PEZ dispenser, this box of commemorative PEZ dispensers home with him. Like this. This Hobbit PEZ dispenser collection, which is much like the Minecraft one you got, except it's with Hobbit things, is just sitting in a cabinet in my house and has been since I gave it to. Basically I handed it to him. He was like, oh, cool. Then he put it in the cabinet and now he has never, ever gone back to get it. And every time I open that cabinet to get something, I go, I don't think he liked that hobbit Pez thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hey, I want to now give a little bit more now that I have a moment to read pre. Read this a little bit. So first of all, I misspoke. By the way, Tif is moving back to Austria, not Australia. And that, by the way, Austria is.

[Luke Burbank]

Also a wonderful island.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is a wonderful island. I'm sorry for. And by the way, that is not like. That is on me for just not knowing how to read. It's. This handwriting is fine, but it does sort of sound like Tiffany is not psyched about the situation here in the United States and tax on Tiffany's kiddo. So moving back to Austria and looking through all of the sentimental things that I was given by my grandpa before he passed. He loved music, but couldn't have a music room in his small apartment the last few years. These are a few of the records that he found special enough to take to his small apartment. I don't have a record player and honestly never will. I love music too. So anyway, I will leave it there. But that's a little backstory on that. I was giving that a little bit short shrift because I was getting very nervous about reading on the air. But that's.

[Luke Burbank]

That's because people do send us very serious notes sometimes, whether it's emails or even dazzling donor messages or the like. And we don't want to kind of like just accidentally, you know, spill too many beans until we've had a chance to kind of pre preview things. But, Tiffany, a good luck in Austria. I mean, listen, I'm guessing I haven't read the card. I'm guessing that that's also a pretty big sort of development in your life. And I'm sure it's not easy to move back to Europe, but on the other hand. Hand, I'm a little jealous.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right.

[Luke Burbank]

Austria doesn't sound like the worst place in the world to be right now. So hopefully you and your kid will settle in there just fine. And Andrew, I would like you for your next hey Dummies video, I'd like you to be feeding Bingo with your Churu device while playing that Harry Belafonte record.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, sounds good. While I'm eating Pez.

[Luke Burbank]

While you're eating a Minecraft Pez.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, sounds good. It looks like somebody is friendship bracelet bounce back to us too. So if.

[Luke Burbank]

What's that one say? Which one bounced back?

[Andrew Walsh]

This one says Slab jacking.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, it's a slab jacker. Those were mine.

[Andrew Walsh]

We got a slab. Yeah, I can tell. It's kind of loose. It's just like kind of shot probably.

[Luke Burbank]

It was probably kind of on the loose.

[Andrew Walsh]

Here, let me see what the other one is because we got two bounce backs. Let me.

[Luke Burbank]

So these are things that we mailed out.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And we reached out to the people and I don't think they got back to us. So just gonna have to.

[Luke Burbank]

Are you kidding me? Somebody didn't take time out of the day to make sure that they were securing their slab jacking.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, this one is. This one is nice and tight. I love it. And it says friendo. So that one must have been mine.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, sure.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good luck. The way that you and I, we had hundreds. We had dozens of TBTL listeners come and make hundreds of these bracelets on our behalf. And you and I are still claiming the craftsmanship of this.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Like right. So really what you're doing, Andrew. Andrew, is you're insulting probably a good hearted 10 who came out and made a slab jacking bracelet. You're probably insulting their handiwork. Slab jacking.

[Andrew Walsh]

Slab jacking.

[Luke Burbank]

I know you're trying to take me down right before the weekend, but you can't because you're really taking down a nice TBTL listener. I am totally unscathed.

[Andrew Walsh]

Boy, what a way for me to be negative on a Friday. As we try to wrap up a joyous week.

[Luke Burbank]

Nothing. You cannot diminish my excitement about this beautiful Friday and this beautiful weekend in front of us. So that is going to bring us to the end of this broadcast week. Thank you everyone for spending all this time with us here on tbtl. We are going to be back here on Monday. I'll be in Davenport, Iowa, mere moments from the world's largest truck stop where I will Andrew be. I. I understand getting my teeth cleaned and getting my hair cut because the world's largest truck stop has both a dental office and a hair salon.

[Andrew Walsh]

The Austrian Syria of America.

[Luke Burbank]

That's what I've always called. In fact, I'm moving there.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Because of the current political climate. So anyway, we'll be back here on Monday with more imaginary radio. In the meantime, have a great weekend everyone. Stay safe, take care of yourselves and please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to you all. Power out.