#4484 A Litter Box For Bad Jokes

Summary

Podcast Summary: TBTL Episode #4484 – "A Litter Box For Bad Jokes"

Release Date: June 9, 2025
Hosts: Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh
Podcast: TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

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1. Dentist Debates and Health Misconceptions

The episode kicks off with Luke and Andrew engaging in a humorous debate about a recent UK study claiming that individuals only need to visit the dentist twice in their lives—once for baby teeth and once for adult teeth.

• Andrew Walsh [00:12]: "That's a study that came out of the UK yesterday."
• Luke Burbank [00:26]: "I'm almost certain we're gonna have to retract that tomorrow, right, Mark?"

The hosts passionately argue against the study's validity, sharing personal anecdotes about their own dental visits to highlight the absurdity of the claim.

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2. Andrew’s Splinter Saga

Andrew shifts the conversation to a personal mishap he experienced at a Fish Sticks baseball game, where a foul ball resulted in a splinter embedding under his fingernail.

• Andrew Walsh [05:08]: "My injury is one of those things where... a splinter went right up under my fingernail."

He recounts the painful experience and the unsuccessful attempts to remove the splinter, leading to a swollen and infected finger. The discussion delves into the challenges of self-removal and the awkwardness of seeking help.

• Luke Burbank [21:27]: "Have you considered finding a mouse to take it out of your pot?"

The hosts humorously explore various solutions, from DIY methods to seeking professional medical assistance, emphasizing the importance of proper care.

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3. Public Transportation Woes

Luke and Andrew delve into Andrew’s frustrating experience with the E Line bus service, which was unusually delayed, causing significant inconvenience.

• Andrew Walsh [08:01]: "I have to have your most experienced phlebotomist. I can't have anyone else."

They discuss the declining state of public transportation, the closure of local drugstores, and the broader implications for community services.

• Andrew Walsh [25:54]: "These drugstores are just so bleak now, and we can't..."

The conversation highlights the impacts of corporate bankruptcies on local services and the resulting frustrations for everyday commuters.

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4. Drugstore Chronicles and Declining Services

The hosts share humorous yet critical anecdotes about their experiences in modern drugstores, noting the shift from a welcoming environment to a barren landscape dominated by minimal staff and empty shelves.

• Luke Burbank [25:53]: "Dead vibe. They just have like stacks of water on every shelf."

Andrew describes a specific incident at a Rite Aid, emphasizing the lack of customer service and the challenges in finding basic items like specialty tweezers.

• Andrew Walsh [32:16]: "Which do we have in Store, store."

They lament the loss of personal touch in retail environments, reminiscing about the bygone era of well-stocked and friendly drugstores.

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5. Listener Interactions and Donor Shoutouts

Throughout the episode, Luke and Andrew acknowledge and engage with their listeners, offering shoutouts and addressing listener messages.

• Luke Burbank [58:17]: "Stop the show. This year she has come through clutch and reminded me that I have not in fact written a dazzling donor message."

The hosts maintain a playful rapport, discussing past embarrassing moments and reinforcing the community aspect of their podcast through appreciative mentions of donors like Ryan Young and Eric S from Bainbridge Island.

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6. Pop Culture Banter and Musical Tastes

The conversation veers into pop culture, with discussions about musical legends like Bob Dylan and the Grateful Dead, as well as contemporary topics such as Roblox and animated shows like Gravity Falls.

• Andrew Walsh [46:33]: "I'm just not drawn to it. Like people are like why don't you get into this other sport."
• Luke Burbank [51:24]: "The universe is a hologram by Gold by. That's apparently a quote from somebody associated with Gravity Falls."

They compare the career longevity and adaptability of artists like Bob Dylan to other musicians, expressing personal preferences and opinions on how certain artists age gracefully versus those who remain static.

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7. Embarrassing Moments and Personal Stories

Luke and Andrew reflect on their most embarrassing moments related to the podcast, sharing candid and humorous stories about past recordings and personal blunders.

• Andrew Walsh [60:01]: "All of the micro embarrassments I have just daily. Obviously, putting those aside..."
• Luke Burbank [63:15]: "He refuses to quit. He is waiting us out."

These anecdotes serve to humanize the hosts, allowing listeners to connect with them on a more personal level while maintaining the show's lighthearted tone.

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8. Concluding Thoughts and Future Plans

As the episode wraps up, the hosts discuss upcoming topics and express gratitude towards their listeners and donors. They hint at future segments and maintain their signature blend of humor and genuine conversation.

• Luke Burbank [72:38]: "We are going to be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you."

The episode concludes on a positive note, reinforcing the camaraderie and ongoing adventures of Luke and Andrew as they navigate through life's quirks together.

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Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Walsh [03:27]: "Were you by a foul ball at the Fish Sticks game?"
• Luke Burbank [21:27]: "Have you considered finding a mouse to take it out of your pot?"
• Andrew Walsh [46:33]: "I'm just not drawn to it. Like people are like why don't you get into this other sport."
• Luke Burbank [58:17]: "Stop the show. This year she has come through clutch and reminded me that I have not in fact written a dazzling donor message."

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Conclusion

Episode #4484 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live showcases Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh's dynamic friendship and their ability to turn everyday mishaps into engaging and humorous discussions. From dental debates to splinter sagas, public transportation frustrations, and pop culture banter, the hosts offer a relatable and entertaining narrative that captivates both regular listeners and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

The fact of the matter is you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Only have to go to the dentist.

[Luke Burbank]

Once when you're a kid and you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Have baby teeth, and once when you're an adult and you have big teeth.

[Luke Burbank]

There's no way that's correct.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is, right, Mark?

[Luke Burbank]

100%. That's not. You're gonna have to retract it tomorrow.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's a study that came out of the UK yesterday.

[Luke Burbank]

You're telling me right now that the only time you have to go to the dentist is once when you're a child and you have baby teeth and once when you're an adult and you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Have an adult teeth. According to this guy. Who?

[Luke Burbank]

Tell me who?

[Andrew Walsh]

Marc. That's according to. Now this is coming from.

[Luke Burbank]

Don't name a random person.

[Andrew Walsh]

Who is it?

[Luke Burbank]

Anders. I'm almost certain we're gonna have to retract that tomorrow, right, Mark?

[Andrew Walsh]

Definitely not.

[Luke Burbank]

How many times have you been to the dentist?

[Andrew Walsh]

Hm?

[Luke Burbank]

How many times have you been to the dentist? Well, that's anecdotal evidence, so it doesn't matter. So just give me a number.

[Andrew Walsh]

I haven't.

[Luke Burbank]

He's never been. I have hard teeth.

[Andrew Walsh]

Tbtl. Can we listen to tbtl? No.

[Luke Burbank]

You wanna listen to tbtl?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Rated by Independent, the most popular west coast program in the history of radio.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, you know, if we knocked down that wall, it would really open the place up. You know, clean up the blood, maybe add some French doors, maybe ping pong table right there. You know, I'm just riffing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Be careful though, it's spicy. This is the craziest interview I've ever done in my life. That's why they call me multi dimensional.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone to a Monday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Yeah, everyone's got a podcast. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. As Jay would say, you got flow coming to you from Davenport, Iowa. Oh, and the adventure begins again. Perched high above the mighty Mississippi River. That's right. Looking right out on it right now. And Davenport, Iowa, a great visual backdrop to bring you episode 4484 in a collector series, Let the fun begin. And you know, here in tbtol land, we've been really getting into Billboard talk and there's actually billboards in the news. I've got lots of news. Specifically that Billboard on Interstate 5 back in Washington state, where I'm usually broadcasting from, that had Uncle Sam on it and just had, over the years, many kind of wackadoo conservative messages. Well, that piece of land the billboard is on went up for sale and the folks that bought it. There's a certain, you could say irony there. How funny is that?

[Andrew Walsh]

That's pretty funny.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not us, by the way. We do have this other thing going where we're putting a billboard up somewhere in America and people are trying to guess where that is. This is not related to that, just to be clear. But we'll tell you what's going on with the Uncle Sam sign and then we're also going to say Howdy Doody to this guy. The longest running cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships on this side of the Mississippi. The side that I'm on, he's also known as Mr. Unlimited. He is Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning, Luke. Good morning. I. I'm in pain today. Physical pain. I'm in physical pain. I'm coming in hurt. And I had an idea this morning, a very briefly held idea that could have impacted the show and I wonder. It's related to my injury and I'm wondering what you're thinking of it. Cause I have a theory.

[Luke Burbank]

Were you by a foul ball at the Fish Sticks game?

[Andrew Walsh]

I was not. Although. Although, you're reminding me of something else I should admit on the show before we get to my injury. I do want to get to my injury because it's going to impact the show one way or the other. But. But I had a great time at the Fish Sticks game.

[Luke Burbank]

I see you have a cool looking hat. Is that related?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, no.

[Luke Burbank]

This is from the old fish on it.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is from the old Pacific Inn, the tavern that has fish and stuff. That's just a coincidence. I like this. I like that hat, by the way. Thanks. But I did go to the Fish Sticks game with Genevieve and some buds over the weekend and we spent most of our time in this little beer gardeny area. So to be honest with you, there's a lot of don't ask me about, you know, who did what in the game. I know that the Fish Sticks dominated. I think the final score was something like 11 to 2 over the Washington Athletics. It might have even been a starker score than that. It might have been 12 to 1 or something. But it was a really good time. Really good time. But we are. This little beer garden area is right along third baseline. It's kind of like outfield. Okay. So like kind of right, I guess left field is what I'm Trying to say here. Right. So there is a risk of getting bonked in the head by a foul ball. And a few foul balls do go out over this way. The first one that came out over our way, everybody kind of gets nervous. You hear it pop off the bat, everybody looks up. But if you weren't already watching the play, it's really hard just to find where the ball is in the sky. Like, you know that, right? Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

There's a reason why the pitchers point straight up. That's a fly.

[Andrew Walsh]

And that was my move. I thought I had eyes on it, so I pointed up like a picture. Luke. I felt really cool for a second, but then I immediately didn't feel cool because it went literally out over our heads, over the concession stand and landed in the parking lot. And I heard, Luke. The sound of shattering glass, followed by a car alarm, a honking beep.

[Luke Burbank]

That's like out of a. That's like out of like an all state commercial or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

Luke. I turned a Hauser. One of my friends I'm there with my face is J Dog. J Dog. I don't know how you come up with these names. I'm just like, my mouth is agape. I am looking at him wide eyed, like, are we experiencing this in a lit? And he's just. Look, he's not saying anything. He's just like looking at me and taking it all in as I start to think. That's not what glass would sound like if this ball really hit a windshield.

[Luke Burbank]

You got.

[Andrew Walsh]

So whenever the balls go out over this way, they play a little recording of shattering. It is a great bit. And it totally got me. Luke. I went from being cool. Logan Gilbert pointing straight up in the sky like I'm tracking this ball to did you guys hear that? I mean, what are the chances? First foul ball of the night. And it smashes right through a plane of glass. Wait a second. Car glass doesn't shatter like that.

[Luke Burbank]

And why would it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Why would it sound like a bunch of pieces of glass falling on pavement? It would have all gone into the car. Right? Like, it just took me just like a beat too late to realize that I got got.

[Luke Burbank]

It would be funny if they also played it just for any foul ball, just one that was just, you know, foul tipped just past the catcher and just bounces back to the backstop. Every foul ball, even though you can see the ball the whole time, they're just playing the shattering of glass in the.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was. It was fun, though. It was a great time also. It was a. It's it's nice. I never get to South Seattle very often or southwest Seattle. So it was just that neighborhood is really. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Did your. You're using mass transit kind of plan workout. You kind of meandered down there and had an okay time.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know what? It. This is a rarity, and I don't like to speak ill of my beloved Eline, but something was mucked up on Saturday afternoon. First of all, my plan was to leave the house, like, really early so these and I could, like, take, you know, the. Take the E line, get off downtown, have some.

[Luke Burbank]

I never thought I would see you and Eli having a falling out.

[Andrew Walsh]

We're okay. We're okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, why did you say he was on the Epstein list? There's some parallels there. I never. You never thought Trump and Elon would have a falling out? We never thought Andrew and Eli would.

[Andrew Walsh]

Have a falling out? I don't know if I like this comparison, and I don't know that I.

[Luke Burbank]

Want to retract it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know that I want to continue down this line of questioning. But the E line, Luke, is So the. Eli was supposed to pick us up right by our house, zip us down to downtown, pick up the H, and we're going to maybe meander. Well, I got off to a later start than I intended, so we didn't have as much free time, but we still had, like, maybe an extra half hour built in or, like, well, maybe we'll just not spend time downtown. Just go straight to White Center. The E line usually comes on an average Saturday afternoon. If you're waiting more than five minutes, it's notable, but very, you know, definitely on the tens. Right. Or every 10 minutes, I should say. Certainly you never wait more than 10 minutes for the E line. Let's just like some extreme hour of night. We are waiting there, and we are waiting. It's a beautiful, beautiful day on Saturday. Almost too hot, and the bus is just not coming. We're using all of our apps to, like, track it, like, one bus away. And, like, something is messed up. We see that there's a bunch of them, but they're way, way up in Shoreline and they're not moving. And there's one that's barreling down the highway. Now, I don't know what you know about the E Line, but the E line is not supposed to be barreling down the highway.

[Luke Burbank]

So you can see it moving in real time, and you can see that this one is not stopping and picking people up. Just, I think, does it show you an Icon of Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock on it. It's not allowed to go below 50 on this.

[Andrew Walsh]

On this app called One Bus Away, which is not like, I can't believe that it hasn't been purchased by, like, the city or the county or, you know, the Division of Public Transportation or whatever, because it's so helpful. But it's just publicly funded or I guess crowdfunded, sort of. I tossed in a couple of bucks the other day. I thought it was a funny joke. I kind of. I donated. I'd never done this before. I use One Bus Away all the time. It tells you specifically when your bus is coming when possible, using GPS as opposed to just like when the scheduled stops are. And that's how we were able to go in and sort of track some of these buses. I thought it was funny. I gave him like 25 bucks the other day, and then I thought immediately of sending a note in to complain and say, I just donated, yet I still had to wait too long for a bus. Please give me my money back. I just. I come up with these jokes, Luke. I don't know what to do with them. But anyway, this is a fine place. This is a fine place to let them die.

[Luke Burbank]

Mountain of that kind of. I don't know what the half life of that joke is, but it'll just be in the ground of TBTL for years to come.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is like my litter box, where I can, like, just dump those jokes and then use my back feet to, like, kind of kick some of the.

[Luke Burbank]

Remind me to tell you about the 3,000 pound litter box that I have just constructed at my house accidentally for all of the feral cats.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, I'm going on too long. First of all, public transportation should have worked fine, except something was going on with the E line. I think we saw this thing. Oh, God, there's a spider going down my wall right now. Focus, Walsh.

[Luke Burbank]

Uh.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, it's huge. It's the size of my f. I think we saw some of those buses on the five because they were like, barreling down to, like, kind of repopulate. I think there was something mucking up the works on Aurora or 99 up north. And so I think they were like, literally trying to repopulate sort of the bus line. I don't know what was going on.

[Luke Burbank]

They're parachuting articulated buses into that part of Aurora. Like Operation Geronimo.

[Andrew Walsh]

Picture it. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Putting those beavers into the backwoods of Idaho.

[Andrew Walsh]

But anyway, so we did have to wait forever. So we had no time to Sort of like just gallivant around. But we did get there right on time, and it was a beautiful day. And Pride was going on down at White center, so it was like a very festive environment anyway. A lot of vendors and stuff. It was just a really, really fun time. Thank you for asking. Now, my injury has nothing to do with that. My injury is one of those things where it's like that. I keep on thinking about that line from Seinfeld where he says, it was a one in a million shot, Doc. A one in a million shot. I think he sits on a. He sits on a noodle, and it goes up his keister. Anyway. Whoa.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't even remember this Seinfeld.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's a very famous one. I'm gonna use a word here. It's the Ass man episode. It's very iconic because I think. Is it like Jerry's dad, somebody sits. Who's Stiller? Who does Stiller play?

[Luke Burbank]

Jerry Stiller is George's dad.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think he sits on an uncooked piece of fusilli, and it goes right up his keister. And so really, he has to go to a proctolog. And then there's a side plot of, like, who has this license plate that says Ass Man? And then at the end, we realize that's probably the proctologist's license plate anyway. One in a million shot, Doc. One in a million shot. We just go through life like, you ever get a paper cut? You're just like, what? How did everything have to align perfectly for me to get this paper cut right? Something very similar yesterday. I'm getting ready for.

[Luke Burbank]

By the way, the mention of a paper cut gives me a physical reaction. Do you have that kind of almost just like. You're kind of like. Your nerve endings are sort of agitated by just the mention of a paper cut.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, buckle up, and maybe I should give a legit a mini trigger, like a squirt gun trigger warning here. If you don't like to hear about.

[Luke Burbank]

A gun that shoots a flag that says bang. Level of trigger warning.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is an enertech trigger warning. So it looks like a real gun. So it's scary, but we'll all get through it together because it's only water inside. I was just kind of running around doing various things yesterday, and just like, I had. I'm trying to go as, like, a little notebook or something that I had to put in this bag that we have in our hall closet that collects Goodwill stuff. And so I had this little notepad I was putting it in there. And it was just a split second. And I reached down to, like, kind of, I don't know, I think, pick something up off of the bag that has the Goodwill stuff in it. And somehow, Luke, there was a splinter on the wall, and my finger just. And I don't know how this happened. My finger just grazed as I'm pushing down, and a splinter went right up under my fingernail.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, no.

[Andrew Walsh]

And it broke off, so there's no part sticking out of it. That's how they torture John McCain, my friend. I told Genevieve, as I was practically crying in the kitchen, I would give up all state secrets. I would give up all state secrets immediately. All you have to do is describe the story to me. Yes, I currently. So in the moment, I'm like, oh, that hurts really bad. That hurts really bad. I put a band aid and I'm like, okay. It subsided a little bit. Genevieve's like, what are you going to do about that? I'm like, I'm going to let it grow out. She's like, that's not how this works. That's not how any of this works. I'm like, it'll be fine.

[Luke Burbank]

Grow what? What do you mean, grow out?

[Andrew Walsh]

That's a really good question. It doesn't work that way. I just thought maybe with time. I thought, the body doesn't like foreign objects.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, so something was broken off and under your fingernail.

[Andrew Walsh]

It remains broken off under my fingernail right now, which is why I'm in pain. Genevieve was like, it's not going to just grow out. That isn't how it works. I look it up online and everything says, it's not going to grow out. That's not how it works. I asked the woman, your body will.

[Luke Burbank]

Not just eventually, like, subsume it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I literally asked the woman who was at the register because I did think that Luke. I'm like, well, a body isn't going to let a foreign body in there, right? Like, it's going to just take care of it.

[Luke Burbank]

Honestly, that would have been my theory, is that at some point your body will just die. Digest it. Like, you know that. You know that's gonna make a off color reference about, like, a twin who didn't quite make it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wow.

[Luke Burbank]

Gets integrated into your.

[Andrew Walsh]

What were you saying? I won't make that reference anyway. But no. So yesterday. So I was. I was rushing off to my volunteer gig, so I didn't have time to deal with it. So I wrap it up in a couple of bands.

[Luke Burbank]

Which finger is it?

[Andrew Walsh]

It's my My left hand. I'm right handed, so this is my left hand forefinger. I don't know. See, it's gonna be hard.

[Luke Burbank]

I can see.

[Andrew Walsh]

Get it to focus, but you can see it's under.

[Luke Burbank]

In the. It's in the corner, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

It's in the very, very corner. So it's.

[Luke Burbank]

I can see the discoloration.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's not even the discoloration. That is the splinter that you're seeing. That is the splinter. You're seeing it through the nail and there's no purchase. There's. It's so far under there, Luke. And now here's how it affects the show. So I. I was like, I'm not gonna deal with this in the moment.

[Luke Burbank]

That's your wagon finger. You like to wag when I say things that you don't agree with.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's a real en vogue kind of move that I pull on you.

[Luke Burbank]

They call you the Dikembe Mutombo.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Daily podcast.

[Andrew Walsh]

What am I thinking? Is it salt and pepper? Who. Like, that's not it. I feel is the line that I'm thinking of from some 90s. Is that.

[Luke Burbank]

Is that on never gonna get it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Maybe it's never gonna get it or.

[Luke Burbank]

So that's not it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

The problem is I know that line, but I only know that line as it's. Speaking of subsuming things. It's used in a girl talk.

[Andrew Walsh]

Masha. I could see that completely. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

And so I hear that it's on one of the. One of the workout records that I listen to. And so I can hear someone say, that's not it. But then it goes into R. Kelly. I'm a flirt laid over some other thing. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Walsh]

It's just.

[Luke Burbank]

It's. It's a. It's a buibe of different sounds, so I can't tell you does that. But I'm picturing what you're picturing.

[Andrew Walsh]

So all of that is to say I didn't have time to take care of it in the moment. I also was under the false belief that it would just take care of itself. Nature finds a way, et cetera. I did some reading online. I asked. There was a woman at the grocery store. She had like, issues. Our grocery store has been rearranged so that there's one lone little checkout stand that is an area that houses sort of all the liquor. And then weirdly, like other expensive, like, sort of groceries. Like, basically like they keep their Tide laundry detergent back there. And it's sort of Like a little mini drugstore, too. Anyway, I asked her where the tweezers are. I couldn't find them anywhere. She finally tells me, or she tells me, and I finally find them, and then there's nobody else in this area. Usually I'm sheepish to use this area to check out because I feel like it should be like, five items only. And somebody's buying booze. I wasn't buying booze. But she's like, did you get it? What's wrong? And I'm like, I got a splinter under my fingernail. I'm like, will you take it out for me? I, like, straight up asked her. She said, no. But then she started.

[Luke Burbank]

Mommy.

[Andrew Walsh]

She started giving me a lot of advice and, like, I thought it would just, like, kind of grow out and take care of itself. And she gave me the same look that Genevieve and the Internet gave me, which was like, you fool. Like, that isn't how this stuff works. So she's like, no, you gotta. She gave me some advice for cutting it way down. Last night, I took a pin, I bought those new tweezers, and I had. Unfortunately, I had a little like a. Like, of one of those thin exacto blades. One of these guys, just because I thought maybe that could get under there and get some purchase.

[Luke Burbank]

And you get a leather straw to bite down on. Like, did you light some candles and then tie yourself down to a table? Genevieve?

[Andrew Walsh]

I had a bottle of whiskey, and I just poured it on my finger. Then I poured it my mouth. And I poured on my finger some for you. And then I bit the strop. And then. Anyway, so. But I didn't get it out. All I did was I kind of tear my finger apart some more. I couldn't get this thing out. And then I'm like, well, that's about all I got. Nature, do your thing. And then I go to sleep. And then, of course, what happens this morning? It's getting infected, right? It's starting to get that, like, it's getting swollen and red there. And if I tap anything, it hurts so bad. So now I'm like, I gotta get this thing out. Like, I gotta get this thing out, and I don't know what I'm gonna do. And so when I was getting ready for the show today, I looked down and upstairs, very neatly on a folded paper towel, not unlike a surgeon's tools, are my little pin with a little yellow ball on the end of it, my exacto blade, and my brand new tweezers. And they're just sitting there waiting for my Next session. Right. My next surgery. And I thought, you know what Luke would do? He would just bring those down into the studio and take care of this on the show. And I had a moment of thinking about that, actually.

[Luke Burbank]

That would have been pretty entertaining.

[Andrew Walsh]

But then I thought, I don't know, that might be too cringy for people. Me literally trying to dig something out from under my fingernail.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a good point.

[Andrew Walsh]

Having issue with that.

[Luke Burbank]

I also almost threw up once. Having a tattoo on the show. I think it was. I think I was having Addie's middle name added to this tattoo that I had had laser burned off. I think that was the procedure. And I was not expecting, because I've got plenty of tattoos, I was not expecting it to actually sort of hurt as much as it did to where I felt a little nauseated by the process. So that would have been a bad outcome if you were getting sick on the air trying to dig this thing out. Now, may I just say, Andrew, it's weird that I also subscribe to the theory that your body will just absorb it, because. And I've talked about this on the show, you and I now have this in common, which is I have a thorn that has been in this knuckle. It's very hard to show you on the camera here, but I have a piece, a foreign object that has been in this exact knuckle for the last 38 years of my life, because I was trying to get a wiffle ball out of a tree, and I jumped up to try to knock it out, and instead, it was a very thorny tree, and one of the thorns jammed into my knuckle and broke off. And I remember being so afraid. Well, first of all, we didn't have health insurance, so I was just raised to think that if you went to the doctor for anything, it was $1 million. There was also just the fact that I was terrified that the solution was going to be to cut open my knuckle and take it out. And so I didn't ever go. And it is still in there. So, of course I should know this. That thing is going to just remain. Whoomp. There it remains. Unless you're able to take it out. You might consider going to the doctor because they could give you, like, a shot of lidocaine.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And then, you know, make it so it actually doesn't hurt. And then they would just probably make a little slit in your fingernail and pull it right out and, you know.

[Andrew Walsh]

Just remove the nail. Yeah. I've been fantasizing about that, too. I don't. I think that. But I think that if I go in to, like, an urgent care or something, I think they'll laugh at me. I think they'll say, this is the problem with having accessible medicine like you shouldn't like. I think this is something that most people. Most adults would just deal with.

[Luke Burbank]

Have you considered finding a mouse to take it out of your pot? You will then owe the mouse a big favor. So just go in knowing that someday you will have to save the mouse's life. But there is a long, rich history of mice removing thorns and other things from big, lionish kind of guys. Paws.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's an idea. I hadn't considered that. I was. I was thinking biblically about it. You were talking about not having health insurance as a kid. And also, I know that we did.

[Luke Burbank]

Have the power of prayer.

[Andrew Walsh]

You did have the power of prayer.

[Luke Burbank]

We sort of had. You know, and we had a pretty decent copay.

[Andrew Walsh]

Two Hail Marys. No, wait, you guys wouldn't be a Hail Mary family. That's very.

[Luke Burbank]

No, God, no, Lord, no.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was just thinking.

[Luke Burbank]

You were very much going to hell. Yeah. Literally. God, no, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

But I was thinking, like, you know, what if it's the. If it's the finger that offends the. Cut it off or whatever? I was like, what about that? What if I just chop the tip of my finger off? Then they have to take me into urgent care and they won't laugh.

[Luke Burbank]

No, definitely. That would. You'd be elevated.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Immediately. To the highest tier of care. Like, you come in with. You come in missing a finger, they're gonna put you right to the front of the line. So you. I think they probably see a lot of stuff just like this that I don't. I would not personally feel embarrassed to go to urgent care with this particular problem because it is one of those things that, like, they just have better equipment for it. And also, you know that even. You know, I don't know if I am less squeamish about that stuff than you. I. Maybe a little bit. But still, I would not. I would not want to cut into my own fingernail or. Now, here's one other thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

I want to make it clear. The razor blade that I have was not to, like, cut. I'm not trying to actually cut my fingernail away if that's what people think. And I realize this is a very uncomfortable conversation. It was just that I can't. This thing is so far under there, I can't get the set of tweezers under there. You know, I can get, like, one tweeze under there, but I can't get two of them under there. There's not enough room. So then you have to use a pin to loosen it. So I was trying to use a pin to loosen it, but it just seemed like the pin wasn't getting enough tract. I was just taking the very, very point of the retractable, tiny, little razor blade thing that you would, like, cut paper with, right? Or maybe even cut a box open with. I was just using the very, very tip of that to try to, like, grab the very end of the. Of the splinter and see if I could just sort of pull it out a little bit. All I need to do is get enough exposed so that I can grab it with the tweezers. I'm imagining that moment of pulling it out like. Like I'm a. Like a soldier pulling a. Like a. Like an arrow out of me or something like that.

[Luke Burbank]

It is going to be. When you do pull it out, it's going to be a moment of triumphant relief like you've never felt before. So I am kind of excited for that part of the story. But how about those tweezers? They do make tweezers that have a very long, thin end to them, and sometimes they're even curved. And I don't even know what they're for.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm wondering.

[Luke Burbank]

But I've seen those, like, in, like, a jeweler shop or something like there is. Because maybe. Maybe you can find some tweezers that are. The end of them is really, really narrow, so you could get under there. Because if you're using standard tweezers, those are not going to be able to go into your fingernail.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I need. This gets to a bigger conversation that I don't think either one of us are prepared to have right now. But, like, I need access to a better, fully stocked drugstore that has specialty items like that. Because, like, as these things continue to close or just like, kind of become just husks of their former selves. And I don't know if you saw the news this weekend, Luke. Like, this Rite Aid company that bought. That's in bankruptcy for a second time, that bought all the bar Bartel drugs around here, is definitely closing. Like, the last good Bartel drugs that's in kind of my neck of the woods is down there by Green Lake. That one is now gonna close. It's like one of the last ones that you could walk into. And it wasn't just, like, nothing but stacks of, like, 24 packs of water on every shelf. Have you been in any of those drugstores yet?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I went in one when I was in New York City recently, and it was bleak.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

First of all, there is absolutely no human working the registers anym full. It's not like you have the normal register, and if you want to go to self checkout, you can. There was just only self checkout and no one anywhere monitoring it. So of course, there was some problem with my gum I was buying, and, like, I couldn't get the thing to work. There was. I couldn't find an employee in the store. I was like, do I steal the gum? Do I ended up going to a different register and just checking out with that one. And then some poor guy went. Some schmuck went to my register, and I was like, I think that one's like. Like broken or something. Anyway, yeah, these. These drugstores are. Are just so bleak now, and we can't. We should stop calling them drugstores for. For the first thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, no, you're absolutely right. The. The last one I went into, I. I was in Edmonds. Luke, Is it Edmonds? See, this is. This is literally the place that I'm. I think where we started calling it culturally Edmonds, but technically it's Shoreline. It's that spin alley bowling alley that is in that area. Just come up recently on the show. I was there on a Saturday afternoon getting my friends a gift card to Spine Alley. I thought it'd be a good gift. I was going to a birthday party later that day, and I wanted a card to put this gift card in. And so I asked the woman at the bowling alley, like, where to get a card around here. I'm like, I'm from Seattle, not culturally Edmonds. Where do you go to for. Anyway? She says, you know, this drugstore. I can't remember which one it is, but it's one that everybody's heard of. Let's just say a Rite Aid or something is down the street. And she's like, they actually have a decent card selection. Then she says, that's all they have anymore is cars there. And I go in. And it's true. They have a decent card selection. They have like. Like a couple of coolers with some beers and sodas or something. But the space is huge. And then when you go down the. The. The, you know, aisles, it's just like, empty shelves or literally just stacks and stacks of, like, plastic water bottles, like a 24.

[Luke Burbank]

You know who this makes me sad for? The mothers of marauding gangs of shoplifting teens. Because what we've learned, what the market is telling us is that they're not stealing the cards.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

The whole argument is that, you know, you can't have stuff with these stores because these, these marauding gangs of teens are going to come in and just take it all out. You know, that whole narrative, which I think is very overstated. But anyway, that's not what they're not stealing, apparently is world's best mom cards. Those are still right out in the open at the cvs.

[Andrew Walsh]

So I buy. Here's what I buy. I buy. I think, you know, what I did was I got a card, I got a bag of jelly beans for the car ride home. And I got. Not jelly beans, I'm sorry, Gummy bears. Sorry, Andrew. Don't lie. They were gummy bears. Albanese brand, I believe. And I think I got like a 12 pack of beer for the party that we were going to take. So I get those three things. I go up to the front where they don't have any self checkout. They just have like a few, you know, like cash machines or not cash machines, a few registers there at the front. And I walk up and there's nobody there. And I know I saw somebody checking out earlier. Somebody was working, but I wasn't really paying attention. Now I'm there five, ten minutes later and nobody is there. And then a person gets in line behind me. And I am already in this mode of kind of like. And it's easy for me to say because I'm not really in a hurry in this moment, but I'm like, I am not going to kind of put on like a cranky face here, you know, like, whatever's going on, the reason that this cash register is unmanned right now is not the fault of the person who should be manning it. Because I guarantee you, this person has too much on their plate. If anybody even works here, a third person gets in line with her daughter, now we're all waiting. Now it's like four minutes in, five minutes in. Like, I'm starting to think, do I even buy any of this stuff? Like we literally don't know where this person is. And it's a big store. Everybody in the line is looking around. I pull out my phone and I call the store. I'm like, maybe somebody, maybe the phone will ring and somebody will come to this front desk area to answer the phone. And I'll say, that's just me. Didn't know how to get your attention, but it Just goes to voicemail or some sort of like phone tree thing. It's probably goes to some national chain number. And so that didn't really work. And then I think the mom and daughter are getting ready to leave, but then they start like kind of going on a Easter egg hunt for an employee around the store and they find this poor woman who looks like she shouldn't even be on her feet anymore. She clearly has health issues. She was over in some other part of this like store stocking something. She's got this cart on wheels that she's practically using as a. Almost like a walker. Like I, maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit, but I see this woman and she's like moving so slow.

[Luke Burbank]

And that's when you regretted not giving her Cranky Yandy.

[Andrew Walsh]

And that's when I got cranky. That's when I turned.

[Luke Burbank]

That's when you were like this be.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is when I turned up the Yandy. I'm working on that. Scratch that right back down to the bottom of the litter box.

[Luke Burbank]

Do we still own cranky yandy.com? did we ever.

[Andrew Walsh]

I did just let disposable Media expire, by the way. I figured we're not doing disposable. Yeah, we're not doing anything with that. Anyway, I was really glad. I could tell that like some of the people in line were maybe going to be. I just got the impression they were going to be slightly less gracious with this woman. Or I'm just like, good lord, this woman is like just trying to do her job. I'm sure making way too little money for what she's doing. I'm sure back in the heyday this would have been probably five people working here, a couple of people stocking stuff and you know, maybe a couple people.

[Luke Burbank]

A nice pharmacist in like a white jacket maybe named Wally.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right.

[Luke Burbank]

That was the name of the pharmacist at Craigens. When I was a kid, it was like the pharmacy, the American pharmacy. And you know, writ large was just such a wonderful place when we were kids, like I would go. And granted it wasn't part of a chain, but you know, famously on this show, just right across the street from, from our little rental house was this place, Craigen's Pharmacy. And they had everything. They had like kids toys and squirt guns. And in the back there was probably four full time pharmacists that were just filling prescriptions and like, you know, it was just my favorite place to hang out.

[Andrew Walsh]

And video games or they had video games.

[Luke Burbank]

There was that. We. There was a. That. Well, we snuck it back in. We did a reverse because Peter got religion. I love that we shoplifted some kind of a. A. I want to say it was a Nintendo. And then we. We had it at his house, and then he got cold feet, and then we had. Then the challenge was we had to reintegrate it into Greg's pharmacy.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love that.

[Luke Burbank]

Without them catching us putting it back.

[Andrew Walsh]

But anyway, Ocean's Eleven. Because you were 11 years old.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. To go from that, though, like. Like a Bartel drugs back in the day.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

To what. What we're looking at now. And this poor person who's probably. I don't know. I'm just. I'm really kind of riffing here, but I'm guessing maybe worked there for a long time, and it's probably seen this through its. Its. You know, its iterations. And. And so anyway, I'm very glad that you. That you were treating this person with. With. With respect and not being kind of huffy with them.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, no, I wasn't huffy. But anyway, all that is to say, like, you're talking about the. Remember what we were talking about? You're talking about getting, like, these specialty tweezers. I literally don't know where to go to get them anymore. You know what I mean? Like, where can I go? Like, I was in this tiny pharmacy area of a grocery store in Roosevelt, and they had, like, one option for tweezers.

[Luke Burbank]

Medical supply store.

[Andrew Walsh]

Interesting.

[Luke Burbank]

You need to go to the same place where they'll sell you. Like, you know, a sort of one of those, like, a toilet kind of assistant thing. It's like a kind of a walker, but it's got a toilet seat built into it that you can use if there's mobility issues and things like that. Like, and I don't want to. I don't want to. How do I say this in a way that doesn't sound like I'm having fun at the expense of people who are going through medical stuff. There is not a more depressing store to go to than the medical supply store, because it's just all the stuff that you need when things are kind of not really going super great. But they would definitely have all of the gauze you'll ever need, any kind of bracing that you might need, and probably a lot of tweezers would be my guess.

[Andrew Walsh]

And today's plan, by the way, because I think it's going to be another nice day and because I had fun this weekend I didn't get to.

[Luke Burbank]

To.

[Andrew Walsh]

I have this yard project I've been mentioning. I just want to get started on. Today's a really good day to do that. But I don't know if I can do that with this thing getting. So here's my plan after the show. So this is. I don't know if you noticed this. I'm a little bit slimy. I'm a little bit grimy right now because this is a rare show where I have not taken a shower. This is a very rare pre shower TBTL recording for me. Because what I'm going to do is take a very long shower after this because everybody from the young woman at the grocery store to Genevieve to the Internet have said. Have said, you need to really soak your hand. Really get everything nice and soft and warm in there. So I'm going to take a extremely long shower. I'm going to try to like, kind of build myself up. Like, you can do this. I'm going to like Jack Donaghy myself in the mirror. Sounds dirtier than it is. And then I'm going to go. I think I'm going to do it upstairs. Should I do it? I tried doing it over the kitchen sink before. Should I bring the tools down to the bathroom? Is that the proper place to do this? Maybe.

[Luke Burbank]

Probably. Because if, you know, if you hit an artery and you've got a gusher, you already, you know, you probably want to be. By the way, this. I almost sent you this tape. I don't know if this is gonna work. I'm trying to play it directly off of Tick Tock. But this is what you need to channel is the power of this little kid. This is probably like a two and a half year old kid who's getting his. I think he's either getting a shot or he's getting blood drawn for some reason. And he is hyping himself up as they're inserting the needle. And he's also crying just like giant tears are falling out of his face while he's also trying to hype himself up. I feel like this is your spirit animal. Next time you have to go and give blood. Or even today when you're digging around under your fingernail. Let's see if this works.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're just gonna stay very still for me, okay? Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

What the heck, though? It's okay. They're putting the, like the alcohol swab, you know, kind of cleaning the area. Starting to cry.

[Andrew Walsh]

Ready? Oh, heck yeah. Heck, yeah. All right. Don't Touch it. Here, let me hold my hand. Do it. Just do it. Okay, here we go. Yeah, boy.

[Luke Burbank]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yay.

[Luke Burbank]

That's what I'm talking.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yay. Okay. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

So that's your.

[Andrew Walsh]

I will think about that forever, because I'll send you the link.

[Luke Burbank]

I love this kid so much.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my God. Now you can hear just like, almost like a minor bird. You can hear him kind of parodying, I should say. But, like, I feel like he's probably.

[Luke Burbank]

Watched Stone Cold Steve Austin.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's also.

[Luke Burbank]

What you can't hear in the audio is he's his other arm. That's not the blood jar arm. He's like making a fist.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I can practically hear it. And he's just like this. I'm scared. He's crying. You said he's nervous, but he's like, I'm gonna channel heck, yeah. That's what I'm talking about. I'm telling you, man, that's what I. But that's why I need. I keep on having this fantasy of, like. I'm not even joking. I've literally had this fantasy last night as I'm like, okay, I couldn't get the splinter out. I had this weird fantasy of running into somebody and telling them about this and them saying, oh, I can take care of that for you. The weird thing is if Genevieve said I could take care of that for know if I'd let her. But, like, because I. But I also don't know that I can do it myself, you know? And so I keep on thinking, like, I'm going to run into, like, a nurse on the street, and they're going to be like, oh, I can take care. I have my kit in the car. Just come here. I'll take care of that.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

And they're going to have iodine for some reason. Yeah. I don't know why they have iodine, but they're going to have iodine and they're going to take care of it really quickly. Yet I don't. But yet I don't want Genevieve to do it. So I don't know. I guess my option is I buy these tweezers you're talking about, I take a long shower and I work on it myself. Or I just wander up and down North Aurora until I meet somebody who claims to be a nurse.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, I can't see how that would go wrong in particularly that section of Aurora. I think you will definitely find some people who would be willing to, you know, give it a Shot, Certainly.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. And certainly some people. I've seen some people who are dressed like nurses up here on Aurora, I bet.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, absolutely. Some of the finer establishments along that part of Aurora have people in a variety of outfits.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly, yeah. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Variety of fantastical outfits.

[Andrew Walsh]

So pray for me.

[Luke Burbank]

I will. I'll put you on the prayer chain. We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle.

[Andrew Walsh]

On your mark.

[Luke Burbank]

On your mark.

[Andrew Walsh]

Get set, get set now.

[Luke Burbank]

Ready, ready, Go, everybody. Razzle dazzle. Hey, let's thank some dazzling donors. These folks are keeping TBTL rolling along like the mighty Mississippi SIP because of their generosity. That's how this works. 100% listener supported podcasting. And it is thanks to folks like Ryan Young out there in Richmond, California. Ryan says. It's Ryan. Like lion Ted Cruz. Ryan says, hey, friendos. I'm only procrastinating a little this year after missing last year's message completely, despite many friendly reminders from John and my confident assurance that I'd send it by Thursday at the latest. I know that move, Ryan. That's usually the one that proceeds. Oh, I'm sorry for the delay. My email's been crazy. My email's been being crazy or being weird. Actually, my email is being crazy now, Andrew, because I'm talking to you on this newer computer that I have now. And for whatever reason, I guess it's probably running a newer operating system than my old computer was. And so it's trying to AI summarize first of all, all of the emails that I'm getting from people. It now writes a summary.

[Andrew Walsh]

I turned that off immediately when I got my new computer.

[Luke Burbank]

I need to figure out. I probably need to figure out how to turn it off because this is what's been happening. I read the summary and I forget that it's doing a summary. And I think, how rude in the words of whichever full house cast member that was.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, we always get that wrong. We always say it's the twins. But it wasn't the twins.

[Luke Burbank]

Is it DJ Tanner? Was it Danny might be dj, but. So, like, for instance, I'm out here in the Midwest, we're filming a TV story the next couple of days, and I see the email from our producer and it just says, meet at the truck stop at 9. And I'm like, oh, okay, David. I mean, it's a little direct. And then I realized, oh, no, no, that's the summary. That's. That's AI summarizing the content of the email. You Know, but that's happened more than once where I've gotten an email from someone, and then I read just the first line in, like, preview, and I think, boy, have we lost all manners. Are people just saying, like, just directly, like, resend this right now or whatever? It's like, oh, no, no, no, that's A.I. the other thing that it does is when I'm writing something in an email draft, it keeps trying to finish the sentences for me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, shut it down, America. I hate that.

[Luke Burbank]

And in fact. So we had Paul F. Tompkins on Livewire last week, and I was writing questions for him. And my process is I write everything in an email draft. I don't know why. This is just what I've always done. It's just my little system. And because it's an email, technically, this thing kept trying to help me write my questions for Paul F. Tompkins. And so as an experiment, I decided to just let it. And it asked me, not only did it. It. It asked me, is this going to be a live interview? Like, is this an interview in front of people? And I said, yes. And then it wrote these questions, and it was like, I forget the exact description. I actually read this on Livewire. It was like, here are some. Here are some questions that will help engage the audience, and da, da, da, da, da. I was like, oh, man, this thing is coming for my job.

[Andrew Walsh]

But how were they, though?

[Luke Burbank]

They were. Honestly, some of them were really bad, and some of them were actually real questions that I have asked him before, which really hurts, like, about him being very dapper. That's a thing that's clearly well known on the Internet about him. So I felt. I felt embarrassed about that. That, like, it. It basically, I. I had it write five questions, and I think two of them really sucked. One of them was not terrible, which was. It's kind of a standard question, which is like, if you could go back to your younger self and tell them one thing about comedy, what would you tell them? But this was the part that I thought was good. It said, like, if you could go back and talk to a young Paul F. Tompkins and give him some advice about comedy, what would you tell him?

[Andrew Walsh]

Him.

[Luke Burbank]

And would he listen?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that is an interesting.

[Luke Burbank]

That's not a bad. That's not a bad end to that question. Right. That's a more interesting question about, like, kind of, what sort of person were you when you were younger?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

So that hurt that the AI came up with a better question than I would have.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

There. And he. I asked him that question and he gave a really thoughtful answer.

[Andrew Walsh]

What was it?

[Luke Burbank]

So anyway, back to Ryan. Back to Lion Ryan Young in Richmond. Wait a minute. That's not fair. Back to Ryan Young in Richmond, California says I was cannily buying myself some time to set up my personal website and newsletter so I'd have something to promote. Well, a year of Thursdays later and I wrote exactly one post based on a talk I gave at Write the docs conference in 23. Shout out to Lynn Pham for seeing the video from Revolution Hall. That's very cool. I wonder what Write the Docs Conference is.

[Andrew Walsh]

I could look it up.

[Luke Burbank]

I'll check it out. Now this is about my fourth version of this message. Thanks John for your support and patience. And I've narrowed it down to just a simple list of production ideas. My 7 year old son is slowly becoming a 10. So the list also includes topics he'd want to hear more about. Bonus points if you can guess which are mine and which are his. Okay, Basketball. I want to hear Andrew figuring out basketball. WNBA season is starting soon and the NBA playoffs are coming up.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now here's the thing, Andrew. The championship is happening now, right? Right?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. The NBA is Oklahoma City Thunder versus Pacers.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know that.

[Luke Burbank]

Indiana Pacers.

[Andrew Walsh]

Look at that. Look at that. So I'm figuring it out.

[Luke Burbank]

Tyrese Halliburton and the Pacers just are. They just keep finding ways to win games. Although actually I'm not up to speed on what the. I know they won the first game, which was a shock to everyone, and.

[Andrew Walsh]

Then they supposedly played yesterday. Right. That was game two, but I don't know what the score was yesterday. But basically everybody in our area is rooting very hard for Indiana because they don't like the Thunder because the Thunder is a stolen team. It used to be the Sonics here. So that's everything I know about that subjective.

[Luke Burbank]

Which there's a lot of substantive talk that they may, we may get the Sonics back or a team that we will likely call the Seattle SuperSonics. Might that be a time for you, Andrew, to engage with the world of NBA basketball? New team, New Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean maybe, you know, and I'm not just saying this to be inclusive, but the WNBA also has appeal to me. I'm just not, I'm just not drawn to it. Like people are like why don't you get into this other sport? And it's kind of like I don't know every other sport that I got into. I guess just two. Baseball and football happened really organically it wasn't like I'm looking. I have too much extra time and I feel too good all the time. What sport can I get into that can crush me? You know? And so like, it just sort of happened. And I'm sure that like, if I start hanging out with people and there are NBA or WNBA games on as part of our hanging out a lot, then it will just end up happening. But it's not like I'm going around looking for another sport.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that's a good point. And also the NBA, it's. It's sort of. It's more consuming. Well, there are more games than in football, but fewer games than in baseball, but still kind of a lot of games.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now let me ask you this. Where are we in the W. They kind of like they stack the. And I think this is smart if they do it the way I think they do. Like the. The NBA and WNBA playoffs and championships do not happen at the same time. Right. They kind of stagger it. Like, I think the WNBA season is happen happening right now in basketball season. But like they're more like kind of. Are they more mid season right now or getting near the end?

[Luke Burbank]

I think they're kind of at the beginning of their season. Oh, I think the idea is that, you know, like you said, it's staggered so that you. You have the kind of beginning of the WNBA happening while the end of the NBA is winding down. And of course, once again, it seems to just be. And maybe I'm just buying into the most obvious narrative, but this whole sort of Caitlin Clark vs Angel Reese kind of situation going on. You've got your Caitlin Clark heads and you've got your Angel Reese heads. It's real magic versus bird kind of vibrations.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, I know Angel Reese. I'm not usually a huge fan of the players who sort of pull the like, I don't know, everybody's out to get me and the media is out to get me. I never, I never. I don't usually side with anybody who sort of takes a stand against the media. And I sort of feel like that's Angel Reese's sort of deal. From the Very, very, very little I know about her. But I also know that she's a cool customer. What I really know, and I will always associate her with this is she is the one who taught me that non carbonated orange drink is back at McDonald's because of the.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, I remember that episode.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. Exactly like it was yesterday. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

We broke down that menu item.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. Pretty.

[Luke Burbank]

We got into the Granular level. Okay, here's another thing that Ryan would like us to talk about. Bob Dylan. More Dylan talk, listen to everything thing. Now, I think that might have been the kid. I think that might be.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sure, yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

The seven year old I think might be the one who wants more Dylan talk. You know, it's funny, we were having Dylan talk this weekend because we're hanging out with Becca and Becca's brother and his wife and they had just seen Bob Dylan. Bob Dylan is touring right now, if you can believe that. And they said it was absolutely awful because Bob Dylan was behind his band. He was dressed in all black, so he blurred into the background, he was standing behind his band and he refused to play any of his sort of quote unquote hit songs. And listen, I like Bob Dylan a lot, but he does seem to sort of be actively trolling people that have paid money to come see him. And they said it stood in contrast to Willie Nelson who played right after him and was phenomenal.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that's an interesting pairing, isn't it? Them going around.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I think it's Billy Strings, who's this kind of bluegrass phenom playing with Willie Nelson. And then I think Willie, One of Willie Nelson's sons is a musical. But if you're Bob Dylan and you're gonna go out on the road and you're gonna kind of, I don't know, just sort of Bob Dylan it up, which is to say not really think about the audience experience a lot. Don't do it when you got a 95 year old guy coming right after you who's gonna play crazy. Yeah, and like, you know, like absolutely, like just deliver on, you know, what everyone's hoping he will deliver on. Like you, you don't want to have Willie Nelson coming after you if you're Bob Dylan, apparently.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. You know, and I think that some listeners might not agree with all of this, but I, I, I've said on the show before that I believe certain types of music and the musicians that perform them grow older more gracefully than others. And somebody took issue with this. But I'll use this as an example again because I stand by it. From my own personal taste, I love the B52s, but seeing the B52s still doing the same basic kind of act or energy that they were doing back in the late 70s in 2025 doesn't hit the same for me. It doesn't seem like the type of act that grows old gracefully, whereas more of a singer so songwriter y kind of thing. You Know, Dylan already had so many different phases of his career and his sound famously, as do all kinds of people. I think of, you know, Jeff Tweedy, other tons of musicians, anything that maybe slightly slides more towards even like blues or something like that. But like, and Dylan could have like Dylan even at his age could still be touring and putting on a hell of a show. It doesn't have to be the highest energy show. It doesn't even have to necessarily be with a band. It could be a very intimate kind of show or whatever. Like his music lends itself to that. A real bummer to hear that he's kind of just pissing on his audience. Oh, that. Sorry for the seven year old there, by the way. Oops.

[Luke Burbank]

The seven year old. Seven year old also wants more pee talk. So this is actually a twofer. I saw, you know, Tom Sharply, the, the best show guy. I saw him talking to our buddy from Saturday Night Live who does their Trump impression, William Austin. Oh, Johnson.

[Andrew Walsh]

James Austin Johnson, I think, right?

[Luke Burbank]

White, white guy name. White guy name, white guy name.

[Andrew Walsh]

Am I right there? Is it James Austin Johnson?

[Luke Burbank]

It's probably James Austin Johnson. Yeah, I'll look it up.

[Andrew Walsh]

But I think it's close to that.

[Luke Burbank]

But that guy is kind of, I think, sort of fascinated with Dylan. And this is what Tom Sharply was saying, which had not even occurred to me, but he was like, if you think about Dylan and the way that Dylan was singing, and then when he came out with like Nashville Skyline and how he just, just totally changed his entire singing style, I think it was Tom Sharply saying, you know how insane it would be if Taylor Swift just came out and she was just like, she just sang like this. Now, like, I don't think that was his specific example, but this idea of just like we had a major musical star in America just go, you know, like, now I just. Now I just sing like this. Tonight I'll be staying here with you. Like, he just. And that's a terrible Dylan impression, but basically like he, he just completely changed how he sounded and everyone went along with it and then like, it just. Well, that's Dylan for you. But if a, if a major American singer suddenly just didn't sound anything like they used to sound nowadays, it'd be like, well, that's weird.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think of Tom Waits as well, kind of doing something similar. His early records sound so much different. But I do have a question for you after the example you just gave. Does Taylor Swift like French Fried Potatoes? Because I got some of that energy off of your latter Day Taylor Swift impression.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a little dash of Billy Bob, a little Bill Clinton as well. It's all in there. Okay. This is a long list. I don't think we're going to get to all of these, but we got Minecraft in there again. That one's definitely coming from Ryan.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, definitely.

[Luke Burbank]

Gravity Falls, get to know Bill Cipher. Adopt the catchphrase. Reality is an illusion. Gravity Falls. It's a TV show. Maybe.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know. I'm looking this up now. Gravity Falls gets to know Bill Cipher. I'm going to look up Bill Cipher. What is this catchphrase that we're supposed to memorize?

[Luke Burbank]

Reality is an illusion. The universe is a hologram by Gold by. That's apparently a quote from somebody associated with Gravity Falls.

[Andrew Walsh]

Gravity Falls seems to be an animated show. I did not. Did you know that?

[Luke Burbank]

No.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's a two dimensional. Oh, I'm sorry. Bill Cipher is a two dimensional interdimensional dream demon from the now destroyed dimension. You can.

[Luke Burbank]

That guy could fix your finger, Andrew. I think that's what you need, is a two dimensional interdimensional demon to guide.

[Andrew Walsh]

I need a cipher. Safer.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. Also playing guitar. Tell us where you are with those songs, Luke. I'm about where you left me. I'm about Cad. I got. I got some Wilco that I can, that I can play. I get that capo going because. Lowers. Yeah, exactly. It lowers. The action on the guitar. Playing my little Taylor travel guitar. Sometimes I actually have been. I like to sit in my little window bench and stare out the window and, and play my guitar. Hypotheticals. What if a person ran right off a cliff? These are things that I'm. I'm thinking maybe this is coming from the seven year old. Like what really happens when you run off a cliff?

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, the kind of spinning your legs until you.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. The Wiley Coyote Paradox, I believe is, is what, is what they talk about in, you know, philosophy programs and then Roblox.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know nothing about Roblox other than it's a video game that I believe contains a bunch of mini games inside of it. And for some reason it didn't, it didn't, it didn't draw me in because I think I like more immersive stuff. Stuff.

[Luke Burbank]

My sense is it is an extremely, is an extremely effective way to separate parents from their money by way of their children in Roblox. Because most of my conversations with people under the age of 10 is how they're doing Roblox and how much Roblox money they have. This has come up two times in my television filming in the last couple of years. One was I was talking to that little kid. Kid who opens toys, like unboxes toys and plays with them on YouTube.

[Andrew Walsh]

And the family makes like a millionaire.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, times, many times over. And his parents live in this unbelievable home in Hawaii. That's all from just like playing with toys. His name is Ryan. It's like Ryan's world. And I found it quite charming because the thing he was really excited about was that he had like a hundred dollars in his Roblox account. And I was like, kid, you don't know the half of it. Like, you're rich.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, his offshore Roblox account.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly like. But I actually, I did find it sort of charming that they had somehow created a world in which he was still excited that he was going to be able to buy these things in this game with money that he had like saved up from like Christmas presents and things. And I was like, buddy, you have no idea how much money, how many Roblox, how many Robux you're sitting on. But the other thing was, I was at this trucking school school in Maryland, like, I don't know, last week, the week before, and I was taking a ride with a woman who had gotten her commercial driver's certificate certification. And she's one of these Metallica scholars. Like the band Metallica had paid for her classes, which are like $5,000. And she was saying how this was really life changing for her because now she was making a good living. She was driving one of these trucks for, I think for Coca Cola. And she said, I can now. My daughter wants these Roblox. Like, I can buy her, like, things in Roblox that I couldn't buy her before, which I thought, wow.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

So that's my take on Roblox is it seems like the kids love it. It also seems like there's a lot of in app purchase that comes around for the parents.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yep, sounds good.

[Luke Burbank]

And then Grateful Dead. Who's your favorite keyboard player? Well, that would have to be the keyboard player for the Grateful Dead.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I'm confused here. So it's like Grateful Dead is the topic and the subtopic is who's your favorite keyboard player? Does this mean, like, are these two different questions or did the Grateful Dead have multiple keyboard players?

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I see. Like, yeah, boy, that's. I'd rather run off a cliff than try to answer this question because I don't know.

[Andrew Walsh]

I have no idea.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, my favorite keyboard player is Bill Evans. The guy, the guy who played this comes back to Dylan. Andrew. The guy who played the organ. Was his name like Al Cooper, not Alice Cooper. Cooper, I think, I think there. So I remember years and years ago hearing an interview with this guy who had played the organ on Like a Rolling Stone. And he didn't know how to play the organ, but he just wanted to be on the recording. He was like, hanging out in the studio when Dylan was. Was recording Like A Rolling Stone and he just wanted to do something. And so he knew like, I guess a couple of like, couple keys on the. On the organ. And so he goes in, the story goes. And he, he. He's just sort of improving this thing because the real producer has stepped away to probably go have a smoke or something. And the producer comes back in and sees this guy Al Cooper standing at the organ and he's like, you're not supposed to be here. What are you doing? And Dylan's like, ah, leave him. And so he basically, like, just wormed his way onto the Like A Rolling Stone track. And it's very. It's a big part of the song that, that, that organ playing.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is.

[Luke Burbank]

That's my favorite.

[Andrew Walsh]

I didn't know that story, but I was sort of googling it while you were talking. You got that. Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Was any part of that true, what I was saying?

[Andrew Walsh]

Al Cooper is spelled with a K. You're absolutely right. I'm watching a YouTube video now called the Story of How Like a Rolling Stone by Bob Dylan was recorded. Dash L. Cooper. And. Okay, I'm seeing. I was led there from a tweet. This is Al Cooper on how he came to play the organ. So clearly there is a story there. And I'm just taking your word that that is. But I mean, clearly people are honing in on the fact that this was not supposed to be. People aren't writing pieces like this. Like how what's his name, Manzari decided.

[Luke Burbank]

To play the Raymond Derek Raymond got onto a Doors track.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, exactly. It's like. Well, he was on all the Doors.

[Luke Burbank]

Robbie Krieger played the guitar.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

There you go on a Doors track.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's weird that you got. You were able to grab Ray faster than I was. As the resident Doors scholar, I'm a little bit bashful, a little sheepish right there. You.

[Luke Burbank]

For a Doors scholar. But anyway, thank you so much, Ryan, for your support. We really do appreciate you. Maestro, on your mark. On your mark.

[Andrew Walsh]

Get set, get set now.

[Luke Burbank]

Ready, ready, go. Everybody rattles Dazzle, it's our friend Eric S On Bainbridge Island, Washington. Eric, says the friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm sorry, I was just gonna say this is the first sort of anonymized dazzling donor we've had. We do believe it was intentional. So Eric S. If it's. If it's a typo, we apologize. But I'm pretty sure you just want to go as Eric S. Very mysterious.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. Very cool. Bainbridge Island, a very cool place as well. I love it over. Over there. Okay, so that last year, in my dazzling donor message, I took a couple of, excuse me, totally legitimate shots at my fellow 10 and long time, long term TBTL supporter Sarah from Bainbridge for not mentioning me in her dazzling donor message. But stop the show. Wait, I've actually got this sound effect here, I think.

[Andrew Walsh]

Stop the show.

[Luke Burbank]

But stop the show. This year she has come through clutch and reminded me that I have not in fact written a dazzling donor message. So we're even and everyone can relax on the Sarah shade. Andrew, this comes as good news because there were so many people that were not relaxing on throwing shade at Sarah and Bainbridge and now they know, thanks to Eric, that they can relax on that.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was getting a little bit. The pressure was definitely ratcheting up. It started to feel a little bit. I don't want to exaggerate here, but it started to feel a little bit like the light last days sort of. Of Biggie and Tupac and that west coast, east coast thing. It was feeling a lot like that. So I guess what happened here is. So Eric expected Sarah to shout him out in her dazzling donor message last year and so, and, and then maybe called her out for that behavior on the show. But now they're friends again because she's the one who reminded him to send this in. Do I have that right? As you understand it, that's.

[Luke Burbank]

That's what I'm taking away from this mess. But again, largely to the TBT audience. Everybody stand down.

[Andrew Walsh]

Stand down.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, stand down, everybody. Who was shading Sarah, you don't. Don't do it anymore, okay? Eric has instructed you so few shout out to every single, 10, 11, and 5. That keeps this audio fever dream alive and helps me stay up to date on local Liberty Bell replica crime statuses and whether or not Norm Charlatan is Norm Charlton.

[Andrew Walsh]

Literally, literally. Top three most embarrassing moments of for me on the show. If not, we only think.

[Luke Burbank]

Thinking that a baseball had shattered our window repair, safelight replace.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's top three most embarrassing things that happened to me at a fish sticks game. I chose to tell you that on the show, I would say I can only think of two. Truly. I mean, all of the micro embarrassments I have just daily. Obviously, putting those aside, the two most absolutely embarrassing moments on the show was when I learned and had the realization live that the Twitter person, Norm Charlatan is a parody account or sort of a parody name based on Norm Charlton. That was really embarrassing. But it's got to be number two to me being drunk on the show during the Super Bowl. Remember, it's the only time I've ever. I think. Is that the only time I've ever been, like, drunk and talking into a microphone? I don't do that usually. And so for the Super Bowl, I was in la.

[Luke Burbank]

You were in Seattle, but I was also very drunk. So I don't. I don't. I don't think of that one as being. I mean, we were in it together, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

We weren't in it together because I bailed on you and made you. Sorry. I'm not crying. I just had a coughing fit. But remember, I bailed on you. I was so drunk that I was like, you got to do the last segment yourself.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't even. We'll see. Now that puts the embarrassment on me because God knows I remember where I was recording it. I think I was at that loft space where we were watching the super bowl in Seattle. And I think I was. I can't even imagine what I was mumbling into that microphone. That was after we won, right? That was the one. That was the.

[Andrew Walsh]

That was the one that we won. Yeah. But I was relaxing, relatively new in Seattle. I had moved down to Seattle, like mid season, so I could have.

[Luke Burbank]

But you were in la, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm sorry. I moved down to la, rather, from Seattle.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

And so.

[Luke Burbank]

And I remember.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I were on the phone recording ourselves separately. Like, let's just keep checking in during the super bowl and then that'll be Monday show. But like, I was at this bar with a bunch of people. I got there super early, so I got.

[Luke Burbank]

You were saving a table.

[Andrew Walsh]

Table in the Seahawks bar in LA for the Super Bowl.

[Luke Burbank]

A lot of pressure fights to his strongest liver.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my God. God. And I remember, like drinking too much brown alcohol and getting really, really drunk. And also my phone is blowing up because Philip Seymour Hoffman died that day or that weekend.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, so you had. And that was like one of those things where it was like, we need to get his corpse on tomorrow.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

We need to settle for nothing less.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. We only can talk to his spiritual advisor or his next of kin, Any other guest is not good enough.

[Luke Burbank]

Possibly his widow.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right? And so, like, my.

[Luke Burbank]

Don't let her mourn. We need to get her on tomorrow.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I'm like, can I enjoy the Super Bowl? Can I pretend I'm back in Seattle for one damn Sunday? And I was just so, so drunk that by the time we went to check in the last time, I think I texted you and said, dude, I can't go on the mic again. I'm too drunk for this. And I had never gone back and listened to that. That was. Well, what year 2014. Is that 2014. It must have been.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think it's 2014 and so over 10 years ago. And I think when I was trans transferring files to the new system a few years ago, I might.

[Luke Burbank]

Have you considered deleting?

[Andrew Walsh]

I think I needle dropped it. I'm like, I can handle this now. I'm like, that kid. I'm like, yeah. What did the kid say when he was heck, yeah. Heck yeah. Heck yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I was like, yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

[Andrew Walsh]

Not that bad. It's been 10 years. You're a different person. I needle drop it.

[Luke Burbank]

I hear as you're crying.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I'm just like, oh, God, send it back to hell. I can't do.

[Luke Burbank]

I doubt it. I doubt it Sounds as bad. As bad as. If you want. By the way, I think we should each be allowed. I don't know how the listeners feel about this. We should each be allowed to. To delete one episode of TBTL from Planet Earth. You and I.

[Andrew Walsh]

What if, though? What if I didn't use it to erase one that I'm embarrassed about? I just spitefully delete one that you were really good on.

[Luke Burbank]

You just delete the boat show.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, like your best.

[Luke Burbank]

Whatever. Supposedly, like a high point of our best moment.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm like, I'm gonna delete that one.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what? It's. Honestly, you get to pick, so that's how you want to use it. I can't stop. Stop you. Anyway, thank you, Eric S. For supporting tbtl. We couldn't do this without you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. Oh, man. It's not from a female.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, you know what? We're gonna. We're gonna start the week strong by migrating the top stories that we were gonna do today over to tomorrow's show and bring you an email or a VMAIL here. Which do we have in Store, store.

[Andrew Walsh]

Here. I'll play a quick voicemail for you here. I don't have this listener's name, but it seems to sort of fit with today's theme about me trying to advocate for myself and be strong in scary medical moments. Because last week on the show, we talked about the doctor's visit I had where part of these doctors visits is I always have to go down to the lab and have blood drawn, which is something I don't really like having done. I think I'm learning that I must have some small veins because. Because even the best phlebotomists are having some trouble finding my veins. And I just want to mention I'm not drinking coffee on the day of. I'm drinking a lot of water and I'm eating.

[Luke Burbank]

Do we know that that guy is one of the best phlebotomists, though?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I mean, so basically, the backstory, which I already recapped, I won't do the whole thing again. But there's one guy there who I really try to avoid. I don't want him to try to draw my blood because on the couple occasions that he has attempted to, he simply cannot do it. And he's very grumpy. And so I go in there and they're like, well, you can ask for a more experienced phlebotomist. Somebody sort of like one of the people at the front desk sort of like, told me that one time, and she's really good. I always hope to get her. She both works the front desk and draws blood. And so she said, you can just ask for the, like, most experience. And like, somehow I started doing that, and I would go and I'd be like, you know, it's a little bit hard to draw blood from me, and I get a little bit fainty. So could I have, like, you know, I've been told to ask for the most experienced person, but then it started turning into this conversation after a few visits. They're like, well, which guy was it that. That you were having issue with? And I'm like, whispering and I'm talking about their colleagues. It's just like, very, very, very awkward and not the way this should work. And that's what this person wanted to weigh in on. Andrew, I'm getting, like, severe anxiety listening to the story of your blood draws. Here is the magic phrase. When you go to the desk, you don't need to describe the person that you don't want to have have. What you need to say is, I absolutely need to have your most experienced phlebotomist. I can't have anyone else. And I will wait for that person. It sucks to have to be so assertive in these situations, but it is the worst when you have a sucky blood drop. I need to have your most experienced phlebotomist. I'll wait for them. There you go. Hope that helps. Bye. Thank you. For a second, what if the grumpy.

[Luke Burbank]

Guy is their most experienced phlebotomist?

[Andrew Walsh]

Right. Not their best, but he's been there the longest.

[Luke Burbank]

He refuses to quit. He is waiting us out. He is our most senior phlebotomist now. He has the most time put in on this.

[Andrew Walsh]

What is this? End game. I wrote that down, though. I absolutely need to have your most experienced phlebotomist. I absolutely need to have your. I need to memorize that phrase.

[Luke Burbank]

And this is kind of a dumb question, but like, you have to go to this particular lab corp. Because it's in the building where your other doctor is. And that's just where the stuff happens. Because they have lots of these LabCorp things around and there's probably lots of. There's multiple facilities associated with your medical care. Could you go to one that's. Could you go to a different lab where this one guy is not there?

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm sure if I said I literally cannot, I absolutely. In the words of our listener, I absolutely need to go to a different blood core facility. Maybe they would let me do that. But it's all going to be like blood. I'm sorry, what did I say? What is the name of it called? LabCorp. They seem to be. They have the market cornered. Right. And I also have been doing a little bit of reading and I also overheard some of these phlebotomists talking. I. I don't think. And you know, maybe I'll get in trouble for saying this if we get sued. I'll let John take care of it. You and John can clean this up for me. But I have just heard that they're not a company that necessarily is like, get sparkling reviews as far as how they, you know, pay their employees and stuff like that. And I know that they. I think they just had another contract with their union go through. But in other words, it's one of those, you know, it's like they just seem to have a stranglehold on the. On the industry around here. And so I just don't know that going somewhere else is going to. It seems like within this office there are some people who are great to work with and there's One person who. I just see him trolling around and I'm like, please, Lord, not today. Don't have him be the one who's trying to draw my blood.

[Luke Burbank]

Also, I think next time you're there, if you see him, is he wearing a name tag? Let's just say his name is Greg. Could you then, if you could figure out his name? Because we've discussed that sometimes you have a difficult time describing people and there's maybe two male phlebotomists there. But if you could figure out this guy's actual name name, then you could just go in and say very quietly to the person at the front desk, hey, it doesn't seem like I've had great results with have my blood drawn by Greg. Could I just have somebody else?

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know if he has a name tag on or not. So I'm not sure about that. He is short.

[Luke Burbank]

Does he have a ponytail? For some reason, I imagine a ponytail.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know what I noticed last time is he has. He has male pattern baldness. So he's kind of his. I think it's more complete than mine. So he's kind of got this horseshoe shaped hair, but it's kind of my color. A little bit lighter and a little bit longer and curly. It's actually a kind of an interesting look. And I mean, and I don't mean that I'm not saying interesting like, because I'm trying to be insulting, but I don't want to be insulting. Like, it actually. It's a little bit clownish, but in a way that I kind of don't mind. I think it's actually kind of interesting. He looks like he'd maybe be kind of Gallagher a little bit, but not that long. It's not hanging long. It's just a little bit shaggy. But you can see the natural curls. But it's still in this male pattern baldness, sort of. It's not unlike maybe you would see like a comedian. Only the thing is, he seems to have absolutely no sense of humor at all.

[Luke Burbank]

So we, we don't think that he's his, you know, his side job is as some kind of a comedian, possibly smashing watermelons. Even though he has the hair of somebody who might do that, he does not have the personality.

[Andrew Walsh]

It would be amazing if he did. But again, I do think that Gallagher. Gallagher had long enough hair that gravity could take over. Right. I don't think this hair is that long. It's just kind of curly. You know what I mean?

[Luke Burbank]

I gotcha.

[Andrew Walsh]

Didn't Gallagher sort of have. Didn't it hang down to his shoulder? Close to his shoulders, or am I wrong?

[Luke Burbank]

And also his body.

[Andrew Walsh]

Brother Gallagher, too.

[Luke Burbank]

I got to tell somebody that story. I know we need to wrap things up today. I got to tell somebody that story the other day. Oh. It was my friend Elena Passarello, who knows everything about that kind of stuff. She's a, you know, also a voracious consumer of pop culture. I was shocked that she was unfamiliar with the whole Gallagher 2 situation, and it was such a joy to get to share that story with someone who had never heard it before, because it is truly wild. It also seems like it would be a really good. Good. It'd be a really rich topic for, like, a biopic.

[Andrew Walsh]

Ah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you think that'd be kind of interesting?

[Andrew Walsh]

You got tension between brother versus brother.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. And just kind of like, you know, just also. Just the whole look of the whole thing. Like, the way that Gallagher dressed. The way Gallagher, too, dressed, the way the shows went down, like, it just feels like a kind of an interesting. I would. It'd be a world that I would totally want to inhabit as a viewer. The kind of real story behind Gallagher and his brother fighting over who gets to smash watermelons as Gallagher. Gallagher.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know if this is extra or not, but I kind of consider Gallagher, too. I call him just Gallagher, and then I call the first Gallagher the other Gallagher. It's just a very. It's just a way to give a little bit subtle. And nobody really ever hears me have these conversations, but it's my way of sort of honoring Gallagher, too. He's the first Gallagher in my book.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. In China, they just call it food.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's a great joke. That is. Exactly. Is that a Gallagher joke? Because that's.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, no. I mean, isn't there something about, like, we call it Chinese food, but over there, they would just describe it as food or something? I don't know. I think that's nature telling us that we're pretty much done with this episode. When I'm starting to break out the. Over there, they call it food material.

[Andrew Walsh]

What is nature saying about this? About this? Ding.

[Luke Burbank]

Nature is going to bat last, and it is saying, no more TBT for this Monday.

[Andrew Walsh]

They use bat and bonk us in the hell.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. All right, well, listen, thank you, everyone, for hanging out with us today. We are going to be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you. I'll be here in Davenport once again, so look forward to that. In the meantime, have a great Monday, everyone. Take care of yourselves. Watch those fingers. And please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to all. Power out.