
Luke and Andrew flutter from topic to topic and discuss everything from the heart medication Andrew isn’t taking to a couple of surprising upcoming performances at local casinos. Plus, Luke feels like he needs some closure after an awkward moment...
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Luke Burbank
Fight enough to eat today, boy.
Andrew Walsh
I'll say.
Luke Burbank
Well, that's great. Would you care for ham or beef?
Andrew Walsh
A little both, I think.
Luke Burbank
Alright.
Andrew Walsh
Making friendly conversations like this is a big part of greeting and serving guests. By greeting the guest warmly and holding brief conversations as you serve them, you say to our guests, we're glad you're here. Let's take a closer look at greeting guests. You might ask something like this.
Luke Burbank
Is it still hot out there?
Andrew Walsh
Or this. Did you catch a game last night? Or this.
Luke Burbank
Have you tried the lasagna? It's my favorite.
Andrew Walsh
Don't forget to hold quick conversations with our younger guests too. Start conversations with children by saying something like this. What grade are you in at school? Or this.
Luke Burbank
Have you decided what dessert you're going to have?
Andrew Walsh
Or this.
Luke Burbank
Do you like hot fudge sundaes?
Andrew Walsh
Serving the guests. Here are some guidelines for knowing how much meat to serve a guest.
Luke Burbank
I'd like a half inch slice of that roast beef, please.
Andrew Walsh
Say something like this.
Luke Burbank
I'd be glad to carve you that.
Andrew Walsh
Thinner slices are more tender though.
Luke Burbank
Would that be all right?
Andrew Walsh
How's that for you?
Luke Burbank
That's fine.
Andrew Walsh
Unfortunately, it doesn't matter to the knife if it's cutting through a ham or your finger.
Luke Burbank
Do you like hot fudge sundaes? All right. Tbtl. Are you out of your mind? You're putting your entire future in the hands of the man who put radio on the Internet. The man or beast that I run.
Andrew Walsh
From ain't been born and his mama's already dead.
Luke Burbank
That is something everyone cannot like together. You guys are so fun. Just relentlessly fun. I keep thinking, when are they gonna stop being fun?
Andrew Walsh
And the answer is never.
Luke Burbank
When they bring that high, hard one in, I stand in and lean back and then just bam.
Andrew Walsh
And it sails away out through the universe like a radio wave that goes past Saturn and Jupiter, Pluto, through the.
Luke Burbank
Black hole and into many other galaxies yet named.
Andrew Walsh
Listen, please, please, please. If anybody doesn't know the difference between.
Luke Burbank
A Valance and a Jabot, I really need you to leave.
Andrew Walsh
All right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Thursday edition of tbtl. The show just might be too beautiful to live. I hate podcasting. It's just ruined my life. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host, coming to you from Chicago, Illinois, and the banks of Lake Michigan. In fact, I say that figuratively sometimes. I am looking out from my hotel room at the banks of Lake Michigan, and it's just absolutely spectacular today on this June Thursday. Oh, ma Pa. It's just beautiful. We have arrived, my friends, at episode 4487 in a collector series.
Luke Burbank
Let the fun begin.
Andrew Walsh
Now, yesterday I was rushing out of here, not here, but out of the show, out of the recording of the show, in order to get out to the world's largest truck stop where we talked to lots of interesting folks and had a nice time. Except I did also slightly have a meltdown in the truck stop that left me feeling embarrassed, chagrined, not great about myself. I wish I hadn't done that. We'll probably end up talking about. It was something that I did not plan on talking about. I did not discuss it with Andrew in the soundcheck. I did not put it on the show sheet because I didn't want to talk about it. And now here I am, we're, I don't know, three minutes into the show and I'm already starting to talk about it. So it's probably going to come up. I know this is going to come up for certain. And that is that it's a Thursday, AKA blursday. So we'll do that blurs day thing that we do on this show and we'll also talk to this guy. He is the longest running cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships also.
Luke Burbank
And boom goes the dynamite.
Andrew Walsh
He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.
Luke Burbank
Good morning, Luke. I got caught trying to edit down some blurs days here. What are we talking about? What's going on?
Andrew Walsh
Remind you that today is a Thursday, AKA a blurs day with my birthday today, my intro.
Luke Burbank
I had various.
Andrew Walsh
No judgment on yours.
Luke Burbank
Yeah, no, I saw them rolling in and we, I think we're gonna have a pretty robust blurs day segment today. So people love.
Andrew Walsh
Lot of people doing it nine months ago.
Luke Burbank
That's what you like to.
Andrew Walsh
Well, not literally nine months ago, but at some point in human history, then nine months ago, then you make yes.
Luke Burbank
No, at some point in human history, subtract nine months. That's when they were doing it.
Andrew Walsh
Well said.
Luke Burbank
Appreciate it. Yeah, I kept getting like, I kept on getting these alerts like on my phone, like, oh, somebody submitted another blurs day. You know, they're just emails. They come in as emails. In fact, I'll just say it. They come in when you email me. Andrewbtl.net There you go. And anyway, so I kind of kept thinking, I gotta sit down to do those. I gotta sit down to do those. And then, yeah, during the soundcheck, you Said it's a blurs day. I'm like, ah, damn it. I never sat down to do those. So I'm trying to do it now. I got some really long ones in here that I'm trying to, you know, chop down for.
Andrew Walsh
What is it? What are they? What's the time?
Luke Burbank
Brevity and clarity.
Andrew Walsh
Brevity and clarity.
Luke Burbank
Is it brevity? I feel like they might not say brevity.
Andrew Walsh
They definitely don't think it's brevity. Clarity, definitely clarity is in there.
Luke Burbank
Clarity. That one I remember. Yeah, clarity sounds like a drug I would take. Or actually Claritin is maybe the drug that I'm thinking of. Anyway, that's all I got.
Andrew Walsh
Do you take the Claritin? Do you, do you have the. Do you get the seasonal allergies?
Luke Burbank
No, I don't take any. I don't take anything like that. And I, you know. Yeah, probably not worth getting into. There's a chance that the doctor is going to prescribe me another prescription to go on. And it's not related to, it's not related to rheumatoid arthritis or anything like that. It's just like I got kind of high blood pressure. I'm obviously overweight. Just kind of like. And there's some, there's some pill that they made that apparently helps with that kind of stuff. And a lot of people take it. But I've got this weird thing that I'm kind of like, well, let me at least take a whack at this myself before I. I don't think that's.
Andrew Walsh
A weird thing at all. I think that's actually.
Luke Burbank
I don't know why.
Andrew Walsh
A good impulse.
Luke Burbank
I guess so. But I don't know why. I. Maybe it's because I went from not taking any regular prescriptions my whole life to suddenly, you know, I now take one shot in the belly every couple of weeks. Plus I take like a kind of.
Andrew Walsh
A. I didn't realize that that was. Or I had forgotten that the. This is the rheumatoid thing. That. That's actually a needle.
Luke Burbank
That is a needle. So I have one self administered. Yeah, I don't love that. But luckily it's one of those pokey pen things. I don't have to push a plunger down. I don't have to like inject the syringe and push the plunger. It's like this one unit that has this sort of plastic protector on a spring and you just take the whole thing, you poke it in your belly.
Andrew Walsh
And does that hurt? I've never used one of those. Does it feel like a needle?
Luke Burbank
Basically, you know, it feels like a tiny pinch, but this is just me. Like, I just really get in my head about those things. Like if I was walking, if I was doing some yard work, right? And I'm reaching over the hedges to try to trim something that's far away from me. And a. The hedges poked me in a certain way and maybe I didn't move for about five seconds. I'd be like, oh, that kind of hurt. Or I'd just be like, oh, the hedges poked me and I wouldn't think of it. I can never get out of my head that I'm standing in my bathroom poking a needle in myself. Like, I get in my head about it. But to be honest with you, it really does not hurt as far as these things are concerned. Like, I. There's. I shouldn't even be bringing it up, honestly, but it's like, I don't know.
Andrew Walsh
You.
Luke Burbank
You push it in, you hold it in for like five seconds and it feels like somebody's pinching you a tiny bit. Like, just pinch the tiny little pinch.
Andrew Walsh
Speaking of your medical condition, how's the finger?
Luke Burbank
Finger is just.
Andrew Walsh
I guess it's just stabilizing.
Luke Burbank
Just stabilizing. Yeah. We are out of the. We're out of the ir. Is that what it is? Intensive care. We're out of the intensive care care situation here and we're just like monitoring the situation. I bought a huge bag of Epsom salt. I had a feeling this was going to be the case. It's just like that citric acid I bought one time. I'm like, I want to try this out. And they're like, oh, you want to try this out? How about a 700 pound bag if you want to try this out? So I now have a 700 pound bag of Epsom salts that I was happy to see they even had.
Andrew Walsh
I knew you were on the Epsom list. I've been telling anyone who would listen.
Luke Burbank
On X, I took one flight.
Andrew Walsh
Isn't it weird that, like, the only time I'll refer to it as X is when Elon Musk is using it to try to declare the current president to be a pedophile? I guess, like, because that's probably the only time I've ever called it X upon first reference?
Luke Burbank
Yeah, that is.
Andrew Walsh
But it sort of has to do with the way it's being used. Like, it's being used in such a kind of delightfully bad way, in that it's. It's Two horrible people trying to destroy each other. That, like, for some reason, that means I call it X.
Luke Burbank
My mind is so wandery today. I apologize, but I. I am about to complain about a piece I didn't even read. You ready for that? You ready for that? You ever do that? You ever get mad at an OP Ed that you never read?
Andrew Walsh
I've got. I'm mad at Matt Culkins today for a sports piece that I agree with.
Luke Burbank
Sounds like you actually.
Andrew Walsh
Is it time for the Mariners to panic? Question mark? Yes, colon, Matt Culkins. Here's the thing. I do think it's time to panic. Like, I agree with the premise of the OP Ed piece, but somehow it makes me mad that he's saying it and I have not. Also not read the piece.
Luke Burbank
Well, at least they told you what the piece is going to be about. It wasn't like the Seattle Times being like, is it time for Mariners fans to feel this way? That's literally what they would usually do. It's gotten so you won't believe how.
Andrew Walsh
Some Mariner fans are considering feeling.
Luke Burbank
Scott like that. Luke, I'm not even joking.
Andrew Walsh
It's bad.
Luke Burbank
It's like, restaurants are bolstering this Seattle neighborhood, and I click on it. Cause I'm like, what neighborhood is it? And they know that, right? Because, honestly, if they said South Center. Not that I don't care about South Center. Like, I like South Seattle, and I think there's a great kind of vibe going on down there. But it just. I'm way more interested if they're gonna be talking about something in North Aurora, right? If it's gonna be about something around the corner from me. So I'm less likely to click on it if it's something in a different part of the city. So they l put just like, two days ago, you know, it was probably our buddy Tan. Or is it Tan Vin, who writes for several times.
Andrew Walsh
Oh, yeah, Tan Vinh.
Luke Burbank
Tanvin. It was, you know, like, I like his writing. He's great. But, like, just, like, he probably doesn't write the headlines. No, no. I'm not blaming him on the headline. I'm just saying that, like, I don't know. It's just driving me absolutely bananas how they're getting me to click on these things just to figure out what the story's about. So they get the click, and then I can back out right away because I realize it's not directly affecting me. Having said all of that, the piece that I'm going to complain about was something that I Saw people complaining about on the, what do you say, ascendant social media platform. And of course, Blueski, people were passing this around in anger because it was basically one of those New York Times pieces that is kind of like liberals are just creating another bubble for themselves in Blueski. And it wasn't quite that, but it's basically saying, like, everybody who left X to go to Blueski are just creating another bubble. And it's like, yeah, why? I'm just so sick of all of the commentary, talking about how, like, everything that's happening in the world is the liberal's fault. Like, I'm just so done with this God dang narrative. I'm so sick of. I mean, what happened in the. Well, now I'm just off. I was just gonna say what I know, that the story about what happened in the last days of Biden and the book that came out by Tapper and everything.
Andrew Walsh
Yeah, Jake Tapper book.
Luke Burbank
It's really interesting stuff. It's palace intrigue. I understand that. But it is also just part of this narrative of just like we are watching one party tank 200 years of history. We were watching a party absolutely tank this entire government, this entire culture. And all I'm hearing about is how, well, liberals are really to blame because they like to use certain pronouns. I'm just like, so sick of it. And then when it becomes this blue ski sort of meta conversation, I'm not for it.
Andrew Walsh
Like, it's our fault because we're all spending too much time in the amniotic sack that is Blueski instead of being out there and chopping it up on X.
Luke Burbank
On X, which is.
Andrew Walsh
That's not a problem, minds.
Luke Burbank
Yeah, exactly.
Andrew Walsh
So there was this story in the New York Times the last couple of days. Or not a story. It was like an op Ed piece. And it was exactly that. Like, I could not even bring myself to click on it. Made me physically sort of angry every time I would scroll past it, which was like. And I'm paraphrasing here, but it was basically like it was an op ed piece. And it said something like the. The thing that liberals just refuse to understand or something. And then it had like a drawing. You know how sometimes, like, not everything is illustrated with a photograph. Some things have no kind of, you know, sort of visual representations, just the headline. Other things have. I feel like my memory of this is. It also had some sort of drawing with it which just felt extra disrespectful. You know what I'm talking about? If you go on the New York Times website. A lot of the stories will have, of course, a photograph of the news event. Some will have. If they're in the op Ed section, they tend to go more with like a drawing of a person. Or if it's the. The, like, you know, the vows section, like a. Or it's more kind of like my. Literally, this one that was happening the other day was like, I think my son is gay. Should I tell him? And then there's like a drawing of a person who I guess represents the parent who's considering telling their kid they're gay or whatever.
Luke Burbank
Oh, I'm seeing this. This is. This is irritating.
Andrew Walsh
So are you seeing the actual headline.
Luke Burbank
Opinion guest essay by Michael Hirschhorn?
Andrew Walsh
Okay.
Luke Burbank
Chief Exec of ISH Entertainment, the 75 hard ish. Right. That seems like you'd like that. The achingly simple lesson that Democrats seem determined not to learn. And what you have is like a. Almost like a. I'd almost describe it as like a Free Press style political cartoon sort of looking thing where you have like some liberal podcaster literally drinking a can of something that says, wait, no, I got this wrong. This is maybe a right wing podcaster drinking a can of woke tears. And it Says University of YouTube on his shirt and it says Freedom Cast. And he's talking into a microphone while there's some sort of politician sweating.
Andrew Walsh
So let me guess. The thing that liberals refuse to admit is that we need a liberal Joe Rogan.
Luke Burbank
What is the point? Well, I was just deep into trying to describe a cartoon to you. Now, I have not read the text here. And we are live. We're streaming this live, right?
Andrew Walsh
Yes, we are.
Luke Burbank
We were lied to. But you are right. It has something to do. One idea that keeps circling is to mint a liberal Joe Rogan. Or better yet, create a parallel ecosystem of left liberal podcasters to rival the networks. Anyway, it sounds like they're saying, like, don't just try to recreate this on the left. Which, generally speaking, I might actually agree with. It's kind of like, didn't you just raise Air America the other day for some reason?
Andrew Walsh
I did. We were talking about Marin.
Luke Burbank
Yeah, right, right, right. I was like, oh, wow, Air America. Right. I kind of liked the idea of that at the time as a radio nerd. But like, of course, it's just like you. You can't re. You can't just like, recreate or create mirror versions of that kind of stuff. You're talking to different people that have, you know.
Andrew Walsh
Exactly.
Luke Burbank
Of getting info.
Andrew Walsh
Yeah, there are. It isn't like, there's a bunch of, like. I mean, there are probably some. But there is not, like a critical mass of left wing bros that are just looking to, like, work on their gains and figure out how to get more. More liberal chicks and spend less money. Whatever the premise of what, like, Rogan is doing, there is not the same group of potential listeners on the left. That's just the thing. So it does. You can't. I just don't feel like you can make a liberal Joe Rogan. It wouldn't be Joe Rogan. It would not. It's not appealing to the same group of people. There's a reason why the bros that like Joe Rogan like Joe Rogan. But I just don't think there's a left wing equivalent. If there is, it's Chris Hayes.
Luke Burbank
Yeah, right. I mean, there are, because the guy is swole. He really is. Yeah. No, there are places that various kind of factions go to get their info. But I do remember that being sort of a hallmark of Air America when it was new. Me being sort of excited about this idea, liking these people, liking Janine Garofalo, liking radio, liking somebody trying something new.
Andrew Walsh
A young Rachel Maddow.
Luke Burbank
Oh, that's right.
Andrew Walsh
She was the, like, news person or something. She was the, like, sort of fourth wheel on, like, think it was like the Sam Sader show or whatever the morning program was.
Luke Burbank
See, I still see even just saying that. Like, I get excited. Like, I. I do love the idea of it, but then I remember turning it on and being like, oh, it's like they're cosplaying a certain kind of broadcasting that sort of like. And I kind of like it in some cases, like the something that you and I don't do, which is like, they pause and they tap their papers right when they're making a point. Especially when you're like, hosting sort of solo, and then you, like, you make your point or like you're just telling your string out some point that you want to make and then just keep pausing. And this is what they don't get, you know, like that kind of tone.
Andrew Walsh
And I remember it's a real, like, Limbaugh move.
Luke Burbank
Yeah. And I'm like, I, like, certain people do that and it comes naturally. But when I'm kind of. When I tune into Air America to listen to quote unquote, like, kind of my people or whatever, and I don't even know if I thought about things in that sort of way at the time, but I was just like, ooh. It just. It Felt weird. It sounded strange. You know what I mean? It's just sort of. You should have your own vibe. Yeah.
Andrew Walsh
In all my years of hosting talk radio in one form or another, Andrew, you know, I never to this day got comfortable with that pause.
Luke Burbank
I know. I remember you and I could never.
Andrew Walsh
I could never, ever, ever do that. And I mean, what that, I guess what that indicates. And I totally agree with you, it feels weird to hear a sort of progressive talk show host doing something that clearly is inspired formatically by like a Rush Limbaugh or something. But even, even so, I, I, that does at least indicate a level of comfort with silence on the air that I have never and will never and did never have. You know, like my many hours of hosting the Luke Burbank show on KVI on Saturday afternoons. It was so much time to fill. If I would have leaned into the so called pregnant pause, like, if I, if I would have just gotten more okay with leaving some space, I could have probably kept that show for many more years. The problem was I could not fill the three hours because I had to be making sound all three hours. Think about if I would have just paused more. Maybe I was only having to fill two hours. Yeah, that's, that would have been sustainable.
Luke Burbank
Well, there is something also about if you're in that rhythm, it gives you time to think without saying, which is nice.
Andrew Walsh
Right.
Luke Burbank
I will say this, and this is going to sound like I'm blaming you for something, but, and I promise you, I don't mean it to be this way, but I think some, believe it or not, sometimes I think about my performance on these podcasts. I try not to, but I do think I come in with a different energy on this show than if you were to hear me on after these messages. And I do think that it's because. Let me, I have an example. I have an example for you here. I'm spreading this out to have you on the edge of your seat to find out how insulting I'm about to be.
Andrew Walsh
I kind of am. I mean, this is very about me. So you definitely have my attention.
Luke Burbank
It's the only way to get your attention. I had a dream. I don't care. It was about you.
Andrew Walsh
Oh, okay. That was fun.
Luke Burbank
I used to go to lunch every day with a guy that I worked with at KoW and we would just go downstairs from the station and there's all kinds of food options on the ave, and we'd usually go into a noodle place or something like that. And I don't think I was a very fast eater before that, but we were both doing kind of live radio. We're just coming off of a morning shift that was just like. Kind of just like just running at a million miles an hour. Like, book this person. Book this person. And then you get done with the show, and then you're really hungry, but then you got to start working on the next day's show, too. So we always had, like, one hour. And this guy just sort of had this certain energy, and he was a fast eater, and we were always in a hurry. Rush, rush, rush. And so because of that, I became a much faster eater for a while, because we're just sitting there at lunch, and we're just slopping this stuff up as fast as possible. And I feel like that's a little bit of the energy I bring to this show. And again, I'm not saying it's just you together, though. We both have this thing where we're scared of silence and we're both jumping in. And I know. I'm trying. I'm firing little Bond mots at you all the time, too. So, like. But because of that, I think I talk a lot faster on this show, and I try to get it all out. Cause I never know exactly if I'm gonna get to the next bite.
Andrew Walsh
Because that is true. Well, I'm not saying it's true that you talk fast. It is true that I definitely interrupt you a lot. And I think part of that is because I'm rude. And also part of it is because what I've learned would be overstating it. That would mean that I do research and I keep notes and I look back on them and I reflect. A thing that I guess I've sort of picked up doing this show for all these years is we actually. If something comes into our head, I do think we're better served by saying it. And I interrupt you way more than you interrupt me. But even if you were to interrupt me because you had a.
Luke Burbank
Stop you right there. Sorry, I had to.
Andrew Walsh
I.
Luke Burbank
Absolutely.
Andrew Walsh
Well played. I do feel like. And again, I know I'm starting to sound defensive. I think probably in normal conversation, I'm at least 10% less the way that I am on this show in terms of interrupting us. And I think it's because what I know is we got to do this for a minimum of an hour a day. And oftentimes, a random thought, a flight of fancy that comes into our head, ends up creating this kind of conversational, you know, journey that could be, if not interesting, at least needle moving. And so it's. I think. I think I've kind of trained my brain to like. It's almost like improv, except instead of the answer always being yes, the answer is always interject. Because you just never know what.
Luke Burbank
You're kind of like your version of being, like, kind of explore that. Explore that.
Andrew Walsh
Precisely because it's like, you never know what interjection could create something. And now the downside is it totally throws the other person off their game and it stops them from going where they were going with the conversation. And in fact, it would be insufferable in real life. But somehow here in this. In this world of this rolling conversation, it seems like. And I could be totally wrong about that. I could just be coming up with a theory on the fly to explain my rudeness. So who knows? It could be that, too. But it feels like in this. In this world of making the show, we have to just be like. We have to just say anything that comes into our head at any time, because that's the only way that this thing can occur for this amount of time. Five days a week.
Luke Burbank
I want to. You mentioned. Yes and. Or no, but hold on, Andrew.
Andrew Walsh
I was just thinking about that. It's less funny when I do. It was very funny when you did it.
Luke Burbank
I mean, also, I kind of got in there first with the good burn, but I. You sent me a piece of tape the other day that I am sort of obsessed with, and we started the show with it the other day. And it's from that show called the Earliest show that I think was just a CISO thing. And it's Ben Schwartz, right. And Lauren Lapis. Lauren Lapkis. And I don't know who the third person who plays the producer is. And they're doing a version of like a morning. Not even new show, but like kind of a morning TV chat show. Right. And we've talked about it before on this show, and we've played other tape from it. And you played this stuff about, you know, I'm just gonna play it again. It's 45 seconds long. I think it's brilliant. I'm gonna tell you why I'm playing it, though, is because obviously this is improv. But also, they know what they're doing. It's somewhere between a sketch, you know, a written sketch and improv. But I love that Ben Schwartz here, he's playing it straight in a certain way. He's being no, but, you know, like, he's like saying, no, no, this isn't Right.
Andrew Walsh
Interesting.
Luke Burbank
Yet somehow it totally works. And when I listen to this, I'm like, oh, is this like an advanced version of improv?
Andrew Walsh
The fact of the matter is, you.
Luke Burbank
Only have to go to the dentist.
Andrew Walsh
Once when you're a kid and you.
Luke Burbank
Have baby teeth, and once when you're an adult and you have big teeth.
Andrew Walsh
There's no way that's correct. It is, right, Mark?
Luke Burbank
100%.
Andrew Walsh
That's not. You're gonna have to retract it tomorrow.
Luke Burbank
That's a study that came out of the UK yesterday.
Andrew Walsh
You're telling me right now that the only time you have to go to the dentist is once when you're a.
Luke Burbank
Child and you have baby teeth and.
Andrew Walsh
Once when you're an adult and you.
Luke Burbank
Have an adult teeth. According to this guy. Who?
Andrew Walsh
Tell me who, Mark, that's according to.
Luke Burbank
Now, this is coming from.
Andrew Walsh
Don't name a random person.
Luke Burbank
Who is it? Anders.
Andrew Walsh
I'm almost certain we'll have to retract that tomorrow, right, Mark?
Luke Burbank
Definitely not.
Andrew Walsh
How many times have you been to the dentist?
Luke Burbank
Hm? How many times have you been to the dentist? Well, that's anecdotal evidence, so just give me a number. I haven't.
Andrew Walsh
He's never been.
Luke Burbank
I have hard teeth. He's never been.
Andrew Walsh
I have hard teeth.
Luke Burbank
It's so good. Like, I love that so much. But I also think that, like, technically, is Ben Schwartz breaking the first rule of improv, but it's funnier this way.
Andrew Walsh
I think you're right. I think that is just super advanced level of it. So, in other words. Yeah. The truism is you always say yes and. But I guess if you're operating at a high enough level, you can just say no a bunch. But as long as everybody can go with it, yes.
Luke Burbank
And that might still be. And I'm sure. And again, like, I don't think this is a. There's a whole set. There are costumes. Like, I don't think this whole thing is just like, all right, we're going to roll now. And what comes out. I'm sure they had that pretty well set up as to what the joke was going to be, or at least what the beats of the conversation were going to be. So he's playing that role. I don't. I don't see enough of that show to know if he's always kind of taking on that sort of like adult role or parent role of the conversation. But, man, that 45 seconds you sent me is maybe my favorite tape that I have right now. I listened to it Like, a hundred times.
Andrew Walsh
I think he's coming to a casino near me, actually. Ben Schwartz. It's like Ben Schwartz and friends at the A Linnae casino in, like, north of Vancouver, Washington, which would be kind of an interesting place to go see that. Oh, you know who else is coming to a casino near me? The man who brought the rock and.
Luke Burbank
Roll to the Eagles.
Andrew Walsh
No, but seriously, Ben Schwartz is. Ben Schwartz is coming to the Ala Casino. And I'm like, who's the. I wonder who the demo for this is. Like, it's me, obviously, but I feel like not to. Not to be too, like, I don't know, congratulatory about myself, but I think the Venn diagram of people who have as many free stays booked up at the Aileen A casino and also who watched Middleditch and Schwartz, the Venn diagram overlap might be me.
Luke Burbank
I need to find something for you here. I have heard. I have been hearing Luke. I'm trying to think if I heard it once or twice. I got in the car yesterday and I heard a commercial for the EQC casino, the kind of commercial that you and I hear all the time. And so. No, no, shoot. I won't find it online because I don't think it was eqc. I think it was Snoqualmie. What is. What is the. Okay, what is the casino? That is a native run casino. And their jingle really sort of leans into sort of a native sound. Do you know what I'm talking about? We hear them during Mariners games all the time. It's a modern sound, but clearly influenced by a sort of like, kind of native percussive.
Andrew Walsh
I'm going to name the major casinos in the area. You have Muckleshoot.
Luke Burbank
Muckle. Shoot. It is. Yes. Can you think of the Muckleshoot jingle right now? The Muckle. As I.
Andrew Walsh
What's interesting is the Muckleshoot used to have, like, a Rasta guy for many years. It was like, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. And it was like a guy going, I will actually not do it. But there was a guy who was something very sort of jolly and like, he might have been like the third whaler from the Whalers who was always the biggest and best in the Northwest at Muckleshoot. But he was saying it with a very sort of Rasta kind of vibe.
Luke Burbank
Well, this is different now, and I might be missed kind of describing it. I sort of. I always think of it as somebody who kind of enjoys thinking about jingles and what you're going for. There you're going for catchiness. You're going for. But also, I sort of feel like whatever jingle, for lack of a better word they use right now, kind of.
Andrew Walsh
Like Muckle Shoot in the Northwest, right?
Luke Burbank
Yeah. And that's when it always drives me crazy.
Andrew Walsh
Oh, yeah. It's like, doot, doot, doot. Muckle Shoot.
Luke Burbank
Muckle Shoot.
Andrew Walsh
That's the new one. Yes, that's the new one. The old one was Rasta Guy, which again, I thought was an interesting branding.
Luke Burbank
I also love it when they say and find out why they call us the biggest and best in the Northwest. I'm like, we know why. Because you invented that in the marketing meeting. And you decide, like, it's not like people were going around. That wasn't word on the street. Muckle Shoot Casino. But anyway, when you hear a Muckleshoot Casino, when you hear that music cut in, ready for them to either advertise, you know, come stay and play deals or something like that. Or like some sort of a musician that is like, very much like, you know, the man who brought the rock and roll edge to the Eagles.
Andrew Walsh
And I'm not familiar with that.
Luke Burbank
I was. I got in the car yesterday. I swear, it's like a movie. I turned on the car, but instead of blowing up like in the movie Casino spoilers. I think that happens in the first scene.
Andrew Walsh
It would have been a really different show today if you blown up in your car out of the movie Casino yesterday.
Luke Burbank
How's the finger? Well, the fingers, fine, oddly enough.
Andrew Walsh
Dislodged the splinter.
Luke Burbank
The rest of the body, we have some issues with.
Andrew Walsh
It also dislodged the body.
Luke Burbank
It starts with this music. And it would only be funny if I could play the tape for you. And I'm sorry, I can't. But it begins with that music. And then I'm ready for them to say, who's coming to the Muckleshoot Casino. And it starts with some line that's like, do you ever wonder what happens after death? And then you're like, what am I listening to? And you realize they have some sort of a. I don't know if it's a hypnotist, an illusionist. They have somebody who speaks the spirit.
Andrew Walsh
A medium.
Luke Burbank
Like, more of a medium. They're advertising a medium. But it starts with the dark side.
Andrew Walsh
James Van Praag, if you will.
Luke Burbank
Who is that?
Andrew Walsh
He was a medium who used to. Who's big in the, like, 80s and 90s. I think his name was James Van Praagh. He popped up on the. It Was something Van Praag. And he was on your. He was on your Phil Donahues and your other things like that. And he was supposedly talking to people on the other side.
Luke Burbank
I want to find. I'm looking for the. I'm at the Muckleshoot casino calendar. Here. To figure out. I mean, here.
Andrew Walsh
Giggle squad.
Luke Burbank
Yes.
Andrew Walsh
And then James Van Praag. Is that the lineup?
Luke Burbank
Wait here. I think it is. I think it might be this young fella named Tyler Henry. Do we know who Tyler Henry is?
Andrew Walsh
Does not ring a bell.
Luke Burbank
Let me see here. Tyler Henry looks too young. Yeah. No, Tyler Henry is a medium. Maybe you want to look this up. I'm on Tyler Henry's website now. He's a very, very young medium. I can't get over the age thing. I'm sorry. I'm an old man.
Andrew Walsh
He's got powerful Macaulay Culkin vibes.
Luke Burbank
Yeah. Not. Not inaccurate there. And I wish I could find the copy for this commercial, because it begins so dark. You are ready for a. What is it? Felder? What's the name of the rock?
Andrew Walsh
Don Felder. The man you're waiting for like a.
Luke Burbank
Yeah, you're waiting for, like, a Don Felder promo, but. But instead, it's kind of like. Have you ever. For a second, I thought you found it. I was like, man, this is such.
Andrew Walsh
A Tyler Henry's Wikipedia page. He's an American reality show star, a personality who appears in the reality show series Hollywood Medium.
Luke Burbank
Oh, there you go.
Andrew Walsh
Tyler Henry.
Luke Burbank
All right, this is my last attempt at this. I found who we were talking about. Will I be able to find a Muckleshoot radio? You can never find radio commercials online. The Internet hates the radio commercials. You can.
Andrew Walsh
And they hate our podcast, which is often just us trying to describe a radio commercial we heard. They could make it a lot easier on us.
Luke Burbank
Why haven't they? Okay, I'll give up on this because I'm really too distracted to continue talking to you, but basically, it sounds like.
Andrew Walsh
It sounds like what you're saying is much in the way that I was talking about whomever it was at the other casino, like, appearing there. Like, it's a weird fit. Like, oh, I was saying, like. Like, who's gonna go see Ben Schwartz at the Alien A. Like, I get. You know, who's gonna go. I get. Maybe people that saw John Ralphio on Parks and Rec.
Luke Burbank
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Walsh
What's his. What's his highest profile thing? It's a weird. It's just, again, it's like, I could Totally see an improv show starring Ben Schwartz in Portland, but out where that casino is, out where I am, it's like, I listen. I walk those streets. It is not a. It's not a Middle Ditch and Schwartz group. And back to your point, yeah, it seems a weird fit to send a bunch of people or entice a bunch of people to a casino ballroom to then talk to their dead grandparents and then also, I guess, go out and play a bunch of money on Lightning Link. Like, it just seems energetically, like a strange thing.
Luke Burbank
Although I will say, even though this commercial was hilarious, the way it started and it was so shocking, it I can picture.
Andrew Walsh
You think this guy might be legit?
Luke Burbank
First of all, I think the guy's definitely legit. Definitely. I want to see if he can get me to talk to my old clink Clink died a couple of years ago.
Andrew Walsh
Did she tell you something that only you would know?
Luke Burbank
I always remember somebody was talking about, like, some medium or something and said, you have a job or you have a. Somebody in your life has a job where they wear boots. And I always think about that one. I heard that when I was a kid, and it stuck in my head because, like, somebody was, like, impressed by it. Somebody else was like, almost everybody has somebody in their life whose job requires them to wear boots.
Andrew Walsh
I would be shocked if somebody didn't have one person in their life whose job involved wearing boots.
Luke Burbank
Yeah. Who is it in your life? Is it old Walt?
Andrew Walsh
Well, Walt certainly will, depending on what he's doing, he'll wear some boots. Let's see. Who else in my life I'm trying.
Luke Burbank
To think could be non work boots too.
Andrew Walsh
Right. Although I think my guess would be that that particular medium and also thinking about where you were in Ohio or something, that was definitely casting a wide.
Luke Burbank
Yes, definitely.
Andrew Walsh
But so Tyler Henry is coming to the Muckleshoot Casino to, you know, cross over and talk to people who. I mean, whatever. Everybody's got to make a living. And obviously there are people, the people who go to those kinds of things. I think they, generally speaking, they probably enjoy it because they are going in hoping that they're able to contact someone who they miss greatly. And even though I think it is clearly a sham if a person. If you were to go to that thing at the Muckle Chute and then you were to think that you talked to your clink clink, and then you went home feeling happy. Is that a harm to you, is my question.
Luke Burbank
Oh, that's interesting.
Andrew Walsh
I guess when they start separating, you from your money, it becomes a harm.
Luke Burbank
Yes, I think so. Okay, so one thing just to complete my thought from before, because now I'm all over the place. I got to stop looking for this. It doesn't. Just tell me it doesn't exist online, Luke and I'll close this.
Andrew Walsh
Hey, Andrew. They didn't put that online.
Luke Burbank
I'm really disappointed. I want you to hear it. That whole story. I mean, Scott is talking, but, like, really the whole point of that is how amazing it sounds to hear this music come in. And then the first line being like, do you ever wonder what happens after you're six feet under? Keep an ear out for it. It airs during Mariners games. That's the best we can do on that. Okay. I would say though that I think Ben Schwartz is a bigger stretch for the casino going crowd.
Andrew Walsh
Oh, 100% like the mediums, actually.
Luke Burbank
I'm kind of like, oh, yeah, I mean, I'm sure. I mean, know you. I don't want to talk down to that or sound classist to talk about people who do that, but yeah, I mean, if you're somebody who really, truly believes that all you need is like to put five more bucks back into this machine and that's going to be your payday. Not that I don't enjoy some of that stuff too, but I could totally see a bunch of people in that crowd also believing that they can talk to their na. Na. But is that something that people call grandparents? I don't think so. Ben Schwartz seems like a bigger. I mean, I would reach. Yeah, I would go to Ben Schwartz, obviously, before this other one. But, like, it does seem like who is going to show up to that? Like, he. He plays in the he. Yeah, I guess you're the guy because he plays also fringes of comedy a lot.
Andrew Walsh
He very much does. And my guess is that a significant. Well, I don't know. You know, I've. Believe it or not, for all the time I've spent at that casino, I've never been to a show there. So I kind of. I guess I don't know officially who it is, but that goes. But my assumption is it's a sort of an enticement. Like it's a. It's a giveaway. Like if you get a certain number of casino points, I bet you that a lot of the tickets to those shows are basically casino rewards to people that are. That are frequent flyers at the casino, which is if you're Ben Schwartz and friends. Because that's what it is. It's Ben Schwartz and Friends. If you're Ben Schwartz and friends. That's a rough crowd I would imagine. People who are there because they. One of the weird things about not just that casino but casinos across America, Andrew, is that they will, in order to get people to come in and play a bunch of money and oftentimes a bunch of money that they probably, you know, maybe shouldn't be losing there. They will entice them with all these sort of free giveaways. But the things that they give away are the weirdest things. So you'll walk into that casino sometimes and there will just be literally hundreds of people just walking around the casino holding like a mini waffle iron in a box, right?
Luke Burbank
Yes.
Andrew Walsh
Because it's like Tuesday and if you're like a whatever level person you get your free prize. And it's a mini waffle iron or it's like a taco folder.
Luke Burbank
Yeah.
Andrew Walsh
Or something. And like it's an item. I mean it's, you know, it's straight off of TEMU and it's probably, it probably it retails for $8 and it cost $4 to make if that. And somebody had to lose $8,000 to get their taco folder. But then you just see these people carry and again, listen, these are my people. So I'm not, I'm not trying to talk down to anyone but you just see folks wandering around the casino holding a, as you would call it, unitasker, a task of which does not even need solving. And they're just clinging to it like it's like a piece of driftwood that floated past them in the ocean of their attempts at dopamine hit. And it's all they have to show for what they've been through. And they, they'll be God damned if they are not going to go there on Tuesday at 4pm to get their taco folder.
Luke Burbank
Yeah.
Andrew Walsh
And those are also the people that will be going, will be going and seeing Ben Schwartz and friends.
Luke Burbank
Some sort of off brand foot massager.
Andrew Walsh
Like God knows what on a good day. It reminds me that thing that my dad uses that's like the weird.
Luke Burbank
Oh the actual back scratcher thing.
Andrew Walsh
Tines.
Luke Burbank
Oh, he had one of those. Oh no, we had a different one. You're talking about the tines. I know what you're talking about.
Andrew Walsh
My dad, my dad plays in all of those spaces.
Luke Burbank
Yeah. I had the biggest dad moment of my life. Keep in mind I have no children but I'm trying to think some day. Recently I was working out in the yard. Not working out. I Was doing work in the yard. I was doing a bunch of yard work, and I was itchy and. And I had an itch right in the center of my back, right between my shoulder blades, and I couldn't reach it with my hand.
Andrew Walsh
Did you go full grizzly bear?
Luke Burbank
I went into the garage and I took that little tiny hand rake that you have in any gardening kit. You know, it's like a three prong. I reached over my back, I scratched it. I made an audible sound. It felt so good. And I'm realizing, oh, this is Bob Walsh circa, like, 1990. Like, I saw my dad do this shit so much. Like, he was obsessed with. He'd always get itches in the middle of his back, or he'd be like, come here, come here, come here. Get. Get the scratch, get the itch, right? And he would, like, tell you where to go on your bed. Did you have to ever be your parents, like, itch relievers, or is this getting too personal?
Andrew Walsh
I didn't have that job. I grew up in a very gendered household, so that was probably my sister's job. No, my sisters would honestly put barrettes in my dad's hair at night, which is slightly different. But then he would fall asleep because it was like a head massage. But my dad travels with a back scratcher, and it's one of those. Like, it's wood, and at the end of it, it's just like a little claw.
Luke Burbank
Yeah, okay. Yeah. That's the kind we had growing up. Only ours is a little plastic one that looked like a hand. It was actually fashioned like a human hand, which is weird.
Andrew Walsh
Yeah, My dad has one of those. And there has never been a time that he has been at my house, working on my house, where that thing has not been sitting on the coffee table in the living room.
Luke Burbank
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Walsh
And you know me. I was complaining about The Sean Bean DVDs the other day. This guy travels with, like, kind of a random assortment of things, but the one constant is this back scratcher. This man is never far from his back scratcher. And then when he leaves, he takes it with him. Like, it's not like he leaves it there. This is. Have back scratcher will travel colon. Walter Burbank, the man who brought the back scratcher to the Eagles.
Luke Burbank
What you should do. If he ever visits the Eagles club that I belong to, he could bring the back scratcher. You should. I mean, why don't you. I don't want to tell you your business. I know you've already put a lot of money into this man. But why don't you get him a stay at home back scratcher for your place? That way you can leave one at his house and he can have a back scratcher at your house. That'd be a very.
Andrew Walsh
But then I have a shitty back scratcher in my house.
Luke Burbank
But you wouldn't get a shitty one. You would get like some sort of fancy one with lasers.
Andrew Walsh
He would not like it. This is the thing about this man. I'm constantly trying to fancify him and he is constantly, he's polite about it, but he does not want anything fancy. He loves this. It's made out of bamboo, I believe. You know, it's thin blonde bamboo wood with a little curved monkey paw at the end, which is probably cursing the entire house and project. But that's all he needs. And you're right. If I were to, if I were to get myself a back scratcher, first thing I would do, I'd go to wire cutter on the New York Times and I would read about the five back scratchers that they tried that they thought were the best. And then I would get one that was probably designed by Eero Saarinen. And you know, it'd be $300 and I'd be like. But it's like this is the last back scratcher you'll ever buy. And then I would also come on the show and explain to you, Andrew, that I'm not the kind of person anymore who keeps buying back scratchers and then losing them. I'm not just gonna buy the easiest, closest back scratcher. I'm a kind of guy who buys one back scratcher for the rest of my life. Yes, I do the research. Yeah, it's more. It's $300. But then you never have to get another back scratcher.
Luke Burbank
Well, you're going to buy two though, just to have one as a backup.
Andrew Walsh
I mean. Yes, so it's $600.
Luke Burbank
Right. But it's just.
Andrew Walsh
Yeah, because I don't what happens. I don't. If I lose, if I lose the lifetime back scratcher, I can't be without a back scratcher. So you definitely need a backup because.
Luke Burbank
That'S kind of your personality. Now I would say here's the one improvement they can make to these back scratchers, especially if people are treating them like travel back scratchers. And I don't know if they make this or not, but what they need is one that articulates. Is that the right word? What you need is a co host who articulates, by the way, but you know how, like back before laser pointers, we would have professors that use literal pointers and they would like extended. It would basically be like a TV antenna, only it wasn't connected to anything. You just need one of those so that you can collapse it and then use it. You know, take it on the airplane.
Andrew Walsh
They make those. And I think they're even shittier looking.
Luke Burbank
Oh, they.
Andrew Walsh
They look exactly like you described. They look. They look sort of like a car antenna from the olden days that would expand.
Luke Burbank
Yeah.
Andrew Walsh
But then they have a little metal hand on them.
Luke Burbank
Yeah. You don't like it? You've researched that? This.
Andrew Walsh
Oh, I've seen them.
Luke Burbank
Yeah.
Andrew Walsh
They're. I feel like they're very unaesthetic. I would, I would go with my dad's weird bamboo one over the collapsible one. Although you're right, it is more practical for it to be a collapsible.
Luke Burbank
You throw that in your dough bag. Sure. Sounds like you. You've been to a lot of back scratching stores. You're like, oh, no, I know that you're. Oh, you're talking about the, the PR 54. But no, the bamboo one is actually.
Andrew Walsh
Yes. I used to hang out at the back scratcher store at Northgate Mall. It was right next to the cutlery store that had a full knight in armor out in front of it.
Luke Burbank
Genevieve and I were just talking about that recently. Have we had this conversation before? I had like literally, Luke, sometime within the past 10 days or so. I was having major flashbacks of this store that was in Northgate Mall. But specifically it was the store that was sort of the border store between the regular mall and the food area, the food court area. And so like, I was just having these weird memories of like you had this food court, but then there were two non food stores in the food court. Food court. One was a record store. There was like a couple of main record stores in the mall. But then there was this hidden record store that was sort of in the back of the food court area. I don't know why.
Andrew Walsh
And when you say record store, do you mean music store?
Luke Burbank
Yeah, you know, like music store records. Yeah, CDs and tapes. I don't think they sold actual records, but you know what I mean? It was like a 1990s era Sam Goody or something in the mall. I don't think we had Sam Goodies. And that was in the back of the food court. For some reason. There was an arcade in the back of the food court, but there was this one store that Was like kind of if you're leaving the food court, it's sort of the first store you can shop in. And it had a big suit of armor guarding it where you'd walk in. And then they sold all kinds of knives and swords and stuff. And where are those stores now?
Andrew Walsh
That was. That must have been a thing. Like, in other words, the word must have gone out to those kinds of stores. That again, swords, knife sharpening knives, whatnot. Because you're talking. You. You said. I believe you said Northgate, but you meant. Was it.
Luke Burbank
Was that a mall called North. I'm sorry, Great Northern Mall. Northgate is where I live now. Is getting my. My timelines confused. They're Great Northern Mall in Ohio.
Andrew Walsh
You also had one of these stores and they also had a full on night in front of it.
Luke Burbank
Yes.
Andrew Walsh
That must have been the move. That must have been like. That was the way that they. I mean, certainly it's stuck in our brains. I don't. I don't think the night was for sale. Although that would have been.
Luke Burbank
No, I don't think so either. Boy, it's. It's given me a lot of results. But it says, well, here's everything you typed into Google without the word night in it. I'm like, no, night is really critical. I thought somebody would be online, like, reminiscing about their time in Cleveland and the night, let's see here, might have been called. Well, no, anyway, Suit of armor. Yeah, that's true. Maybe I should type in suit of armor. But you know what? I think what the lesson I've really learned is I need to stop doing this today. I am just striking out.
Andrew Walsh
I'm just like, I need to interrupt you more. Searching for suits of armor.
Luke Burbank
I'm Donovan Solano. When it comes to finding things online.
Andrew Walsh
Today, we was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle.
Luke Burbank
On your mark. On your mark. Get set, get set now. Ready? Ready, go. Everybody. Razzle dazzle.
Andrew Walsh
All right, let's thank some dazzling donors. These people could have bought a full suit of armor, Andrew, in front of a cutlery store at a mall somewhere. But they didn't. They saved that money, they invested it. They compounded the interest, and now they're passing some of that largesse onto TBTL.
Luke Burbank
So that we can invest it for them, double their money, and then we all buy a bigger suit of armor together.
Andrew Walsh
That's rich.
Luke Burbank
That's rich.
Andrew Walsh
100 a week, whatever they say. This, of course, is listener supported podcasting. You're hearing right now and it's supported by listeners like Jennifer Wolf. Jennifer says the pronunciation is like every third woman born in the 1970s. Also, bless the animal Wolf. That's right. Jennifer is in Aurora, Colorado and says biz boys, thanks for being a port in the storm. This political climate has been hard on my consulting firm, Project Mosaic, that serves indigenous communities and those wanting to engage with tribes or indigenous peoples globally. Despite the fact that several of my clients not even exist or had to cancel contracts even remotely related to dei. Let me read that line again. Despite the fact that several of my clients do not even exist or had to cancel contracts even remotely related to dei, my team is okay. And I will continue to prioritize my support for tbtl because you all are incredibly important for my mental well being. Thanks, Jennifer. We really appreciate it. When my mind is swirling with gloom and doom, tuning in to chat about mustard or Roku sticks or suits of armor. Just what I need, you know?
Luke Burbank
How did you know?
Andrew Walsh
Jennifer is really on the ball with this stuff. What you do is so important. Ugh. I sometimes sign off as Genver from Denver.
Luke Burbank
Oh, I like that.
Andrew Walsh
I like that a lot, actually. Or something like that. But I moved to the burbs closer to the airport, so that would mean Jennifer, she moved closer to the airport, which means she's still three hours from Denver International Airport.
Luke Burbank
That's right. That's always your take on that. Airport.
Andrew Walsh
But I moved out to the burbs closer to the airport. So now I'm Jen. Jen the Aurora 10. And something better, maybe Jennifer, who lives by Blucifer. Question mark. Power out. What about Blue Jennifer?
Luke Burbank
What about Blue Sagen Jennifer? That sort of sounds like we're shipping her, though. Like we're kind of making them a couple. Like.
Andrew Walsh
Right. Like we're benefiting them. Like, I don't want that Jennifer and Lucifer. I don't want some sort of committed partnership.
Luke Burbank
We're not. We're not going in that direction. I like Jen. Jen the Aurora 10. That's pretty cool.
Andrew Walsh
That's very cool. You know, when I was in Colorado, not that long ago and taking a lift to the airport, my Lyft driver, who seemed highly informed, she said that Blucifer might be going away. And I was like, what? I. That was the only thing she said that I found maybe not as highly informed because I was like, this thing is, this is one of the main things that people know about the Denver airport. Like, why in the world would Blucifer go away?
Luke Burbank
Yeah. And also wouldn't we have heard about that. That's another thing that, like, there's blue surfer news. It is sent to us pretty quickly. Right?
Andrew Walsh
Precisely. So, Jennifer, you've already done so much for the show. And by the way, everybody go check out Project Mosaic if you need any help in that department. But when you're not doing all of that, Jennifer, could you find out if they're taking Lucifer down? And then could you organize a protest for them to not take Lucifer down? Because, you know, an anatomically correct horse that killed its creator, you don't find that every day.
Luke Burbank
Also, we're going to need your size for the suit of armor. You can send that to me privately, Andrew. Yeah, DM him. I'm not sure exactly what. I don't know how suits of armors are sized, to be honest with you.
Andrew Walsh
Maestro, on your mark. On your mark.
Luke Burbank
Get set, get set now. Ready? Ready.
Andrew Walsh
Go.
Luke Burbank
Everybody rattle dazzle.
Andrew Walsh
The other dazzling donor we need to thank is Brian Smolenski out there in Squim, Washington.
Luke Burbank
Hello, Brian.
Andrew Walsh
Hola, cobros. As always, thanks to you for another 260 episodes. I see somebody's done the math, Andrew. On the. On what 5 times 52 is. I believe that that comes to $1.92 per episode for me. What a great value from our entertainment investment. That's. I don't think in all these years, Andrew, I've ever broken it down that way for folks.
Luke Burbank
That's interesting. So 260 episodes, because that's how many weekdays are in a year. That seems a little.
Andrew Walsh
Well, 52 weeks in a year. And we. We put out a new show every single weekday of the year. Even if it's a summer or winter game, it's always a new show. So that's 52 times five, right?
Luke Burbank
Yeah. Which is 260. So there you go. There are 260 weekdays in a year. Seems like. I'm glad they're doing more than I would have thought. Yeah. 3.
Andrew Walsh
I'm really glad that Brian feels like a $92 per episode is a good deal, because I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Luke Burbank
I think it's. I mean, I like that it's less.
Andrew Walsh
Than a cup of coffee.
Luke Burbank
It's certainly less than a cup of coffee.
Andrew Walsh
The number one unit of measurement for trying to get people to give you money is the price of cup of coffee. And being less than.
Luke Burbank
No joke. Not to actually become the bit here, but if you go to Starbucks, which I never do, and it's pretty rare that I go to Any coffee shop these days. What are you paying for? Let's just say you get a basic. Order a black coffee or maybe an Americano or something like that, Right? If you get a medium size, what are you getting?
Andrew Walsh
I can't tell you what a Starbucks coffee cost you because I haven't been there in a while. But I can tell you that when I was in. In Davenport, they had a coffee shop in the hotel and I was getting my iced coffee there and I was paying five bucks. And that was just a cold brew. You know, it's basically black coffee that they've just chilled down and they're pouring it over some ice. That was running me $5 plus tip.
Luke Burbank
That's Iowa. You know what I mean?
Andrew Walsh
That's Davenport Bucks.
Luke Burbank
Again, not that, you know, there's. There is a cost of living difference between Iowa and Seattle, so. Or squim, I should say.
Andrew Walsh
That's what I'm saying. Brian, you are getting a hell of a deal for this. Thank you for acknowledging that. Yes, I'd like to shout out to the best family a man can ask for. My kids are Wayne, Patrick, Bobby, Katrina, Joe. They're all tens.
Luke Burbank
Nice.
Andrew Walsh
Where's my bell? Ding, ding, ding. To the Smolenskis and to my Lovely, long suffering 11, Kim. Sounds like Kim is. Kim is tolerating this. Sounds like the other Smolenskis are really leaning into the TBTL experience.
Luke Burbank
And I mean, this is a. Okay, listen, listen. I know we don't have to sell Brian on this. It sounds like we might still have to sell Kim a little bit. Although Brian's been a supporter for a long time here. 192 per episode being enjoyed by Brian, Wayne, Patrick, Bobby and Katrina Joe. All for 192. You can't afford not to support this show.
Andrew Walsh
I mean, we're paying the Smolensky if you. Per person. This is costing us over 12 cents per person. Reach out to me if you need help with any of your tax needs. Burbank and Burbank Accounting pretty good at this. And if I might ask for one thing, this is Brian asking here if you might replay one of my favorite voicemails from the show. It was from Stu after he lost his job from apm and he's in his backyard enjoying a cigarette. This might be difficult to locate, by the way. I still recall it with great joy. And please bring back Sportsball Talk. Thank you again.
Luke Burbank
Okay, Luke, let me jump in here. So this. This. This request for this voicemail confused me. I remembered Stu Bot recording a video after I thought either after he had quit a job or was laid off, I thought he had recorded a video for us where he was, like, lounging in his backyard. But it turns out that is not what Brian is talking about. I texted the Stubbot yesterday, this message from Brian. I said, does this ring any bells to you at all? And within five minutes, he had a show number and a timestamp. I said, how did you find that so quickly? He's like, well, I knew what around what time I got laid off. And then I. I looked at the show descriptions and a show description ended with. We also got a disturbing voicemail from our friend Stu, or something along the lines of that. So I looked it up and I haven't pulled this. So I got a kind of like, needle drop it around the 57 minute mark. We're getting into voicemails. And again, we're gonna set this all up on the tape. This is going back to August 13, 2015, but the STU bot, our dear friend, had just been laid off from American Public Media. And keep in mind, Luke, we joined American Public Media in March of 2015. Right. So this is. We've only been knowing and working with the Stubbot for a few months now. But he quickly became part of the culture.
Andrew Walsh
Yes.
Luke Burbank
If you remember that. So let's see here if I can. And so he wanted to leave us a little voicemail about how he's doing in life right now. So take it away, Stu.
C
Hey, guys, it's Stu. I'm just giving you an update on how things are going here. I've been going pretty all right. There's been a couple changes. Obviously that's going to happen, Andrew, like you told me to. I think I made that clear last time I took up smoking for your advice. And, you know, it's awesome. But Mandy, my wife, gave me a choice. It's either family or the full flavor of Parliaments. So, anyway, I live in a really cozy apartment now. It's in St. Clouds. It's an up and coming neighborhood. It's called Stab Town, and it's frighteningly accurate, but I hear gentrifications not too far away. It's a utility apartment. It's got one of those Murphy beds, which is really cool, but that is where all the spiders live. So I just kind of fall asleep on the floor crying and really get a tortured night's sleep. I do have a roommate. His name is Glenn, and. Glenn. No, Glenn.
Luke Burbank
Glenn.
C
I'm on the phone. I'm talking to my friends.
Luke Burbank
You Glenn?
C
No, I do two have friends.
Luke Burbank
Their names are Luke and Andrew.
C
I don't want my hot plate back.
Luke Burbank
You.
C
Sorry, guys. Anyway, Glenn is pretty cool most of the time, and he's really focused on recruiting the pure of blood for his war against the government. So sounds like I got a pretty full week ahead of me. Many of you guys have a good one.
Luke Burbank
So he's doing great. There you go.
Andrew Walsh
I would like to. And everybody knows this if you listen to the show. So I would like to remind everyone that the Stubbot went on to work at Surly Brewing and become their head of words and write so many interesting things, including one of the most viral things that anybody I've ever known has created around the Super Bowl, I believe when it was coming to Minnesota. And it's a lesson to all of us that sometimes things. Sometimes you're living with Glenn and trying to get your hot plate back, and then you turn around and suddenly you have your awesome dream job that is orders of magnitude better.
Luke Burbank
That has made you a local household name, a household name locally and a celebrity. Now you're hanging out with people like Norm Charlton.
Andrew Walsh
Exactly. The Norm Charlton. So shout out to our friend the Stubot, and also shout out to Brian for supporting tbtl. We really appreciate you. Hello and welcome to Top Story. I'm actually really glad, Andrew, that we went on so many, as my old science teacher, Mr. Bame, would call them, bird walks today, because that's also sufficiently buried this story so fewer people will hear it, including people who may have been in the room, or should I say in the food court when this story occurred. We were filming out at the world's largest truck stop yesterday, and we were really intent on trying to talk to some more truckers, just people that use the place and what they like about it and what, you know, what their life is like as truckers. And we had had both days that we were there, somebody who sort of does public relations and branding for the truckster, who was super helpful, actually, like, just kind of showing us around and getting us appointments with different people and things. But this person, it was clear to me that she also really wanted a certain, I guess, image of both. The truck stop, by the way, the place is really nice. So that wasn't like we weren't there to try to run the truck stop down or anything. But also the idea of who does trucking. It became very clear to me at some point that this PR person would really have liked it if we didn't interview, like, your sort of stereotypical grizzled trucker, if that makes any sense.
Luke Burbank
Yep, yep, yep.
Andrew Walsh
And, and so what had happened over the course of a couple of days was we had interviewed everybody but that person. You know, we had interviewed women who were truck drivers and we interviewed young families that drove their truck together and you know, people of color who were like a younger, you know, a black, like 23 year old guy who didn't. Whatever we think of trucking as being, he didn't sort of look like that idea of trucking. We had talked to so many people that represented kind of the new, the new group of folks that tend to drive trucks, which is great. We had that really well covered. What we had not talked to is one person who looked like they were out of central casting for being a trucker.
Luke Burbank
Think of Pee Wee's big adventure circa 1989.
Andrew Walsh
Yes. We didn't have a large Marge, we didn't have a large Mitch. We did not have the kind of, again, that person. And just out of an abundance of wanting to cover all of our bases, you know, I just thought, well, we should just talk to, we should talk to anybody who comes in who looks interesting. And we also wanted to kind of get a little footage of inside of the cab of one of these modern trucks because they're actually pretty interesting. They're like little apartments now and people really deck them out. Instead of stuff that turned out to be its whole own thing, its whole own challenge, which was basically approaching truckers in the parking lot going, can we come into your home, please?
Luke Burbank
Yeah. How did that go? I mean, it was kind of awkward.
Andrew Walsh
We found a couple people who, who, who allowed us to, but there were a lot of no's. It took a lot of no's to get to a couple of yeses, let me put it that way. But there was this sort of building thing where it felt like we would. We're just standing around in this truck stop and then people would come in and then I'd be conferring with the producer or one of the camera guys or something like, oh, maybe we can go talk to them. And the PR person was really sort of went from being like, oh, I would really, I'd sort of appreciate it if maybe we didn't go in that direction to. At one point they just said this person said. I was like, oh, that person would be great. This guy walked in, he had like a Santa Claus beard. He had one of those. One of the things you notice about the modern trucker world is that they love the headset. They're big on the headset, which I think is a repudiation of modern Bluetooth and speakerphone technology, if that makes any sense. And also that in car thing that people, I think a lot of people are way overconfident about their in car built in speaker for talking to people on the cell phone.
Luke Burbank
Yes.
Andrew Walsh
Because it sounds like crap. I never use. I use. If I'm in my car, I'll use the speakerphone on my phone when talking to someone because I do not trust that built in microphone in my car. And all you need to know about that is the people who spend the most time driving from here to there talking to their friends and loved ones, they're all wearing those little headsets. So anyway, this guy looks like Santa Claus. He's wearing like some like Zubas, those kind of like baggy kind of wrestling pants. He's got a big old beard, he's got the thing on. I'm like, that guy looks great. And the PR person just says, absolutely not. And if you can imagine this has been building now, it's. I've been trying to kind of be like, well, don't worry, we're, you know, we're going to present it a sort of well rounded, robust picture of the people that use this place. But it was when this person said to me, Andrew, absolutely not.
Luke Burbank
Yeah.
Andrew Walsh
That something shifted internally. And I just said, I need to explain something to you. We are journalists. We are going to talk to who we want to talk to. We are not going to present some contrived image that you want, want to be presented for your business. That's not what we do here. You are not in control of who we talk to. Am I being clear? And, and the re. When I realized I was probably going a little hard was when I saw our sound guy, who's about six five, very solidly built guy, cowering behind the PR person. The look of horror on the face of our sound guy, who's, who's been, who was recently in Ukraine micing up Nora o' Donnell for the war. When I saw him cowering, I realized I might have been going two clicks harder on this than I needed to. But there was no, in the words of Katy Perry, there's no going back. And I also felt like if I tried to at that point, basically I was committed to this. I didn't, by the way, I didn't yell and I didn't use any bad words and I didn't insult the person. I just was very direct and very like just stern, I guess. But again, not Inaccurate, but just these things. What happens with these things is you're the journalist and then there's some person that's from the. Whatever the organization is and you have one of those real surface y kind of friendly conversations where you're like. And everyone's just like this the whole time and hey, oh, can we get a hand with that? And great, okay, well we'll send you and we'll let you know when it's going to be on. And you know, it's, that's the, that's the level of how these conversations go. And then all of a sudden it just got really real.
Luke Burbank
Uh huh.
Andrew Walsh
And but then what happened was we then went out to do something else. And I think to this person's credit, she just like, she said okay. And then she shifted right into some other conversation that was related to what we were doing.
Luke Burbank
That's very moment. Because that's what I want. That's what I was waiting for to hear what she does.
Andrew Walsh
Well, as we started walking to the next location.
Luke Burbank
So you say this, you kind of.
Andrew Walsh
Unload all of this, this. And then the reaction is, the reaction is okay. And then we were off to our next thing. And again this person picked the conversation right back up about work stuff, you know, about stuff we were there doing. So we didn't there, there was no, there wasn't like a weird, like this person didn't leave and then come back with like slightly red puffy eyes like you know what I mean? Or didn't yell back at me. Like we just kind of moved on to the next thing and kind of pretended like it didn't happen.
Luke Burbank
You had a real capiche moment.
Andrew Walsh
A capiche? Andrew.
Luke Burbank
Capiche? I'm a journalist. Capiche?
Andrew Walsh
Capiche? Don't you, don't you ever tell me that again in your life.
Luke Burbank
Capiche? Capiche.
Andrew Walsh
But what ended up happening was we moved on so quickly that then it became the kind of thing where it was going to be more weird if I brought it up again. At some point we still had four hours to work together as a group. Group. And I think everybody was mildly shook up about it.
Luke Burbank
But wait, did you talk to the Santa Claus guy or not?
Andrew Walsh
You.
Luke Burbank
So you said we'll talk to whoever we want to talk to. We're Santa. Gl had already left and he's just gone now. Okay.
Andrew Walsh
He's in the wind. He's got on his sleigh.
Luke Burbank
Yeah.
Andrew Walsh
On Dasher, on Blitzen. That's the two reindeer I can name. He was already. And by the way, I didn't even really care about talking to him specifically. What I cared about was being told, absolutely not. Yeah, in a journalistic. I mean, to the degree that I'm doing journalism, that's kind of the thing here.
Luke Burbank
And again, I don't. I don't.
Andrew Walsh
It's a pretty big red line.
Luke Burbank
It is a big red line. And I am. I have those instincts, too. And I mean, I'm so far out of that world now, but there are definitely times when I'm booking something for a show or trying to do something journalistic. And, I mean, I got dressed down. I was relatively new here in Seattle, and the. This guy who was kind of well liked that I absolutely hated, who ran PR for the Seattle Police Department, was like, you know, they have very, very strict rules about going directly through their PR department. If you want to talk to a shopper. It was. And he wasn't giving me what I wanted. And so I don't know what. I was just like, you know, you and I were trained similarly. Like, I was like, well, I don't go. I don't just take who they give me. I'll start. And I started digging and I found contact information for cops. I don't know what I was looking for, but he caught wind that I was going around him and. And finding cops. And then he, like, I've never been dressed down before. He was like, this is a. He even said, this is like the military. The people to talk to us go through us. And he's like, yelling me. And I'm like saying, and now, keep in mind, I am somebody who at one point had been the EP of my own radio show in New Hampshire, but I'm now working for free for another radio station in Seattle where I'm trying to break in. So it's like a weird dynamic, and I don't want an oh, oh, you know, Now I'm just telling you this whole story and interrupting yours. I apologize, but I remember being nervous.
Andrew Walsh
This is not a show where we interrupt people, Andrew.
Luke Burbank
But of course, our friend Trish Murphy, who just came up on the show recently because I was on her podcast Seattle now, recently, and she was pretty suddenly Seattle, suddenly Seattle. She was really covering the copied at the time. And this Whitcomb dude literally threatened kuow's access. He's like, you don't want to mess this up for Trish. And I'm like, I'm both working for. For free. But I'm also like, f u m effer, you don't tell. Like, you can do everything you can to sort of like kind of, you know, whip everything into shape on your side of things and try to make sure that your cops don't talk to me. But I am not following your rules. You don't tell me what, who I can talk to. Like, if you are able to get everybody to shut up on your end, well, then I guess that's your prior priority or your prerogative. I was being, I was being yelled at and dressed down by a PR guy who was talking to me like I worked for him. And I have never been so offended professionally. Well, that would come later in la, but. And that was within my own team. But all of that is to say that. I will say it's a little bit different. You're doing this piece that there's the only news value stakes are very low here and it's a private institution that you're only doing a piece that is. I mean, I would have the same instinct as you, but it's like, you're not in the Ukraine, you're not trying to talk to a newsmaker. You are just engaged in something here that is like, isn't this truck stop neat? Right.
Andrew Walsh
That was the whole story. And you're right, like, we were there, this person could have thrown us off the property. Yeah, like they had, you know, they had. Let's just say they were well connected to the people that owned the place. And so essentially, to a degree, what happens, I mean, it's private property, so they were kind of in charge of what happened there in a way.
Luke Burbank
Yeah.
Andrew Walsh
And I think you're right, what I was reacting to was not the specific situation, it was to the larger question of like, what is the autonomy. And I know I'm making it sound very high minded.
Luke Burbank
I'm with you though.
Andrew Walsh
We're talking about, can you get JoJo's at three in the morning at the cafe? Like, this is not, you know, I'm not going to win a Murrow Award for this, but I. So I was, I was. What basically happened was I think I was appropriately reacting to the question of if journalists should be allowed to talk to the people they want to. I think I was overreacting to the question of should I talk to this, Should I be allowed to talk to this guy? It looks like Santa Claus in the food court of a truck stop. And that was the thing. What I should have said was in the moment was like when they said absolutely not. It was the wording too. It was like, absolutely not. You know, it just triggered something inside Me that was so intense and very, you know, young as my. And not J U N G but like from a young place. I was just like. Like, I just reared up. Basically what I should have said was when they said absolutely not, I should have just said, hey, listen, I just want to, like, kind of clear the air here and let you know we're not here to try to make this place look bad or make people who do trucking look bad. But also we just want to get a really. A wide variety of folks. You know, there's all kinds of people that do this job, and we just want to talk to as many of them as we can. That would have been sufficient. I didn't have to. I didn't have to. Good night and good luck her the way, you know. But. But then the thing was, it never came up again because. And then we had a really. The rest of the day was really actually fine. We got some good interviews. Everybody was friendly. Like, again, we moved. It would have almost been better if. If this person would have freaked out back on me, and then we would have like, had it out and then cleared the air. It was just this situation where I sort of got more intense than I needed to. Nobody brought it up again. We all had a nice rest of the day and we just never talked about it. So it's sort of un. It's sort of unprocessed. It remains unprocessed for me right now because.
Luke Burbank
But did you think it changed the people that you had access to? And also.
Andrew Walsh
No.
Luke Burbank
Why did she say absolutely not to him? Is it just because she's like, oh, yeah, he's an old crusty guy who's probably gonna say something racist or portray truckers in a way. We are. We don't want.
Andrew Walsh
Yes, door number two. I don't know about the racist thing, but just I think, you know, she works to promote this idea of this truck stop. And it would be cool if. If the American television viewing poppet public has an idea of truckers as being like all, you know, young and sort of young, cool, interesting people, you know, like the people that they put in every commercial for everything, very few of whom work at the thing that's being presented. You know what I mean? In other words, words, like every. Every industry in America wants you to think that the only people that. Well, not the only people, but that they have a young person of color and an older white person who's spunky and this person and that person. And like, it's Benetton over here and it's like it's a truck stop. So like that was the. What this person wanted the presentation of the industry to be is a certain way. And by the way, some of that's true. And we were talking to those people. I think that's also part of why I was annoyed because like, literally we had talked to zero crusty truckers at this point.
Luke Burbank
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Walsh
It wasn't like that was the only people we were talking to and. And they had politely raised the idea that we could show maybe some of the other variety of people who do this job. I was like, we've literally only done that so far intentionally, to a degree. Like when I'm walking around this truck stop, I am looking for people that are not, you know, exclusively old crusty truckers because I think that's a more interesting, you know, way to talk about this story. But I overreacted because of again, I was reacting to a larger question in my own mind about journalism, I guess. And, and then the problem was we. Then it just never came up again. And then everybody was really nice. And then all I could think the whole time was like, is there an opening for me to come in and go, hey, I went a little hard on that. I apologize. It never really presented itself and it just was one of those things where. And this is rare for me because I'm somebody who always ends up like over sharing, over explaining, over apologizing if I guess if I feel like it's necessary. I'm never just go through the next four hours not addressing it. And that's kind of what happened yesterday, which is a weird thing for me.
Luke Burbank
Yeah, it's thing this is a little bit different, but it reminds me a little bit of like when Genevieve told me. I think I have told you this before, that I was going through. I'm a very non confrontational person. But then I was going through this phase where I sort of confronting people whose behavior I didn't like as much, but then feeling terrible about it. And I don't even know what that mean. I think maybe some examples of interpersonal communication as well as examples of me maybe telling somebody, hey, don't park your car in a bike lane or whatever. But I just remember like confronting people sometimes getting what I wanted in fact, but then still feeling awful. Like I have sometimes I have this thing where it's like I have more of an edge than I want, I get what I want and then I feel bad about it or something. And Genevieve's like, you can make a decision here. Either you're the type of person who confronts people and lives with it, or you're the kind of person who can't do that. And so you can't live with it and that's fine, but you can't do both here. She's like, you can't be going out there mixing it up and then coming back and then like feeling, feeling, you know, regret for the next 12 to 24 hours or something. I, I did want to say here though, and I'm not joking. It sounds like I'm setting up a joke, but I almost feel like, I almost feel like I got a taste of something yesterday after the show that could have forewarned this sort of very controlling aspect of this PR person. So for the show picks that I choose for tbtl.net and that I put in the podcast feed, I always try to make sure that it's not a gray area as far as the rights of a photo are concerned. That's very important to me. So in other words, if there's just like a photo in the New York Times and we interview or we have, we interview somebody from that story or if we're just talking about it, I'm not just going to the New York Times and stealing their photo that they paid a photographer to take that photo. Like, I just, that goes against what I think is morally right when it comes to that kind of stuff. But when there are things like logos, if we've talked about a commercial to take a still image of that, I think that's totally fine. It's part of marketing. And so I was on this website for this world's largest truck stop yesterday while we were doing the show. And their logo is very popping, you know what I mean? It's kind of a cheapo looking logo, but it's perfect for what? It's a perfect logo for what they're doing. It's a globe, it says world's largest truck stop in sort of a 1990s era mattress font, sort of mattress commercial font with a big arrow that says Iowa 80. And so I'm like, this is perfect. That will square up perfectly for the website. And I do what I, I go to grab a photo off of a website which is, I right click on that image and then you can usually just get a drop down menu from your computer browser that just says, what do you want to do here? Do you want to open this in a new tab? Do you want to download this image? Whatever. When you right click on the world's largest truck stop logo, you don't even get the usual browser dropdown. They have somehow coded into this a pop up that says not allowed with the international symbol for not allowed and says permission is required to use the Iowa 80 truck stop images. Click here to request this image. They have their PR shit locked down, Luke. I mean, I've never seen that on a website. I've had websites where it's sort of like you can tell they coded something in there to make it like hard to download their images. And you can always take a screen cap or something if you care that much about stealing. But I've never seen something so specifically like you right click on it and then it even gives you a chance to click here and it takes you to a PR page where you can fill out all of your personal information to request use of this image. Like, they are not effing around at Iowa 80.
Andrew Walsh
That's. And they're also. And by the way, thank you for calling it Iowa 80. Because the other thing that happened was, I guess that people often call it i80, which is the name of the freeway.
Luke Burbank
Yeah.
Andrew Walsh
And it was clearly a burr under the saddle of the folks there that run the place. And again, you know, that's fair. It's the name of the place. They would like the name to be correct. But it used feel like there's a lot of frustration around just like small things like that. Like people. And one of the. I was talking to the daughter of one of the founders and she said, she said, yeah, people always call it i80, including my parents who started it. Well, they are the ones who are allowed to. If they want to mess up the name of it, they're probably the ones who are allowed to. But that's interesting about the photo thing. Yeah, I think it's, you know, I think it's a. It's family business. And some of the folks in the family are, you know, just really trying to do their best and really like, you know, I guess applying what are seen as sort of best practices around a lot of that stuff.
Luke Burbank
Stuff.
Andrew Walsh
But it's, you know, all of that is to say I just, like, I just spent the whole. And then the other thing was I had to get a ride to the airport from our producer and we had like 45 minutes in the car and also didn't bring it up.
Luke Burbank
And this is the person who you described. The tall person you described is sort of sound guy. Oh, that's the sound person.
Andrew Walsh
Different guy. But this guy was there. And like, also that was weird that we didn't talk about it because I just basically like, I kind of feel like I embarrassed myself. And talking about it more would have embarrassed me more, which again, is not my move. Usually talking about it more is what I do with anything. But this is one of those things where I didn't talk about it with the crew. I didn't talk about it with the PR person, I didn't talk about it with the producer. We were just sitting in the car talking about Bonvoy or something for 45 minutes. Like, at no time did I go, hey, sorry, I got weird back there. Like, it's rare for me that something is so embarrassing that I can't actually get to the hey, sorry, I got weird point in it, but I kind of couldn't.
Luke Burbank
You didn't feel like backing up into that? Like you're kind of.
Andrew Walsh
I just didn't want to get into it again. But that's just so unusual for me because no matter how bad something is, my move is to get into it. It was a strange thing to go through a whole day kind of on egg on eggshells that I created. Not ever bringing up an elephant in the room. That's my move is when there's an elephant in the room, I start talking about it pretty quickly. I'm almost incapable of not talking about it, you know?
Luke Burbank
Well, let me ask you this, and I'm seriously, I want to be careful here because I, I've. My whole life is nothing but cringe moments. And I appreciate you not making me feel worse about them when I talk to you about them on the show. But real question here is this, this, this the same producer from the black carpet story?
Andrew Walsh
No.
Luke Burbank
Okay. Is that, is that better or worse? But better, right?
Andrew Walsh
It's better. But it did occur to me that I may be developing some kind of.
Luke Burbank
Right, that's kind of the, that's kind of the question.
Andrew Walsh
You know what? It's the prophecy of Rich, my old neighbor, who said, I've heard you're really difficult. I've heard people at CBS say you're really difficult. By the way, I wasn't in those days.
Luke Burbank
You were only doing commentaries or you were just starting to do.
Andrew Walsh
I was a cub, just a cub reporter who would never ever go off on anyone on any shoot. And now it's happened two times and it's like it's the, the, the prophecy has been foretold.
Luke Burbank
Well, it's, it's a self fulfilling prophecy.
Andrew Walsh
I was kind of almost going there. The comedy, comedy writes itself. The comedy of my life. Andrew writes.
Luke Burbank
There'S a right way to rock and a wrong way to roll. You can't just listen to your song. Just remember that life is number one. You can be having so much fun. Just remember that life is much fun. You can be nothing number one. All right, Luke, I know we have to be somewhat zippy here because during the break you were like, I don't have time to tell this truck stop story. And I was like, but I'm at the edge of my seat. I need to hear it. I also need more time to prepare the blurs days, so I will try to be quick here since I'm the reason we're running late. But I will remind people that you can email me andrewtvtail.net if you want to wish somebody a happy blurs day like this one. Happy Blursday to my favorite 10, Aaron from Terry. Every day I hear from. Every day I hear from you. Makes the day better. Thank you for being my friend all these years. Love and miss you. Power out, Terry. That's interesting because we're not Terrying, are we?
Andrew Walsh
No.
Luke Burbank
Look at that.
Andrew Walsh
Come and let us. Terry was a big biblical. I was bragging about how I was throwing down with the pastor guy at the truck stop and Terry to Terry Together.
Luke Burbank
Terry not. Is it usually you're not supposed to Terry. Right. Isn't that like being too slow?
Andrew Walsh
And I grew up with Terrying. Could be an okay thing if you were tarrying with somebody.
Luke Burbank
Okay.
Andrew Walsh
In a kind of a fellowship way.
Luke Burbank
But it is sort of like a taking your time. Am I right about that? Okay. That's sort of the deal there. Anyway, Terry, that's not the point of this. You want to assure Aaron.
Andrew Walsh
What? No, that's covered with tar. That's different.
Luke Burbank
Oh, okay. Sounds good. Happy birthday, Aaron, from Terry and us. Judy says colonoscopy. Colonoscopy. Judy here. I don't know if you remember. Judy was the person who had the colonoscopy when all the power went out at the facility and she almost had to go to another facility with all of her stuff connected to her. Well, Judy says Konos. Judy here officially celebrated the 76 years that I referenced in the saga of my outpatient romp. I texted my kids with directions on how to listen to my story on tbtl. My sons sacrificed four minutes to listen while my daughter said she didn't need to tune in because I'd already described it to her in painful detail. The dream of turning my fives into tens is still unrealized, but until then, happy blursday to me. Happy blursday Judy. Annie in Poulsbo. Nope, sorry, there's no I in there. This is just Ann in Poulsbo who says late. Happy blursday to emma, my best Aussie 10 pal. I'm glad your birthday adventure to Melbourne was delightful. I do so enjoy our exchanges. Here's to many more shared adventures through texted pictures. Kim says Happy 40th birthday to myself. I'm a lone 10 in lovely carnation, Washington.
Andrew Walsh
I always think Carnation is absolutely beautiful, by the way, Andrew. Sorry. I've got this new computer and I was thinking, oh, I don't have all my sound effects that people love so much like this one. But then I realized, no, they're loaded into the program. These are the free sample sound effects. So I do have them. I'm sorry, I don't know if I remember that.
Luke Burbank
Those are the. Oh my God. Those are the cheap seats. Anyway, Kim is a lone 10 in lovely Carnation, Washington, seeking to maximize all the happy birthday feels and hear my name on my favorite podcart. While my husband isn't a 10, I'm going to make him listen to this episode so I can wish him a happy 40th birthday as well. Happy B Day, Joshua. What a fun. What fun it is to share a birthday year and month with you. Let's go. Happy. Have some fun playing sport.
Andrew Walsh
Aw, that sport could be cycling.
Luke Burbank
It could be. Nick says. Pretty sure this is nick, the perfect 10 who says, I want to wish Ken a very happy blurs day. Oh, this probably Ken in Michigan, right? I hope you had a great day and let's continue to root for our Tigers as we dominate all of the mlb. See you at the next live show. Happy blursday to Annie. Oh, this is. I think. I think a. This is a different one. Nick. Nick is just wishing Ken a happy blurs day. I'd like to make that clear. Then I have this that says Happy blurs day to Annie from Megan. I hope you'll start cataloging. I hope you will start what? Ing. I hope you will start cantalouping some of the cool TBTL merch you have collected over the years. Happy birs. Oh, I'm doing great. Hold on. I need to do that thing we're famous for. Cool down period. Pause, Pause. Happy blurs day to Annie from Megan. I hope you will start cataloging some of the cool TBTL merch you have collected over the years. Cheers to you, Annie. Was that so hard?
Andrew Walsh
Nice.
Luke Burbank
Why was that so hard for you, Luke?
Andrew Walsh
Those were some Words that were strung together in a. That could throw a person. I really mean that. I'm not. That's not sarcasm.
Luke Burbank
I was zipping along too quickly. I combined Nick's and Megan's notes. I just. Everything really fell apart there. I'm leaving it all in. I want people to hear the process. I work for this. This is a $1.92 2's worth of work. Seth says I want to wish my 11, or possibly 10 and a half wife Tara a happiest 40th Blursday. Tara is.
Andrew Walsh
I think it's pronounced Tara. Tari.
Luke Burbank
Tari. Sorry. Taria. Happy Tari, 40th birthday. Tara is an amazing partner, friend, mother to our two fives, Ike and Leo, special ed teacher and now head track coach. The boys and I wouldn't know what to do without you. I love you and appreciate you more every year. That's really sweet. Me too. Tara.
Andrew Walsh
Tara, Tara, Tara.
Luke Burbank
Happy birthday, Tari. And finally, our pal Faren says happy, happy birthday to Lisa. Last year I wished you would have a new puppy. And not only do you have a new puppy, but she has her own Instagram now. If you love a cute Aussie doodle, I hope. Oh, I think I was supposed to maybe say the name of the Instagram handle there, but I don't have it in front of me. So people have to find it themselves. I hope you and Ruby have another great year filled with adventures and love. Happy birthday to love, Lisa. Congrats. I didn't know about that.
Andrew Walsh
So the dog is named Ruby?
Luke Burbank
Yeah, I believe so. Yeah, I think edited that one incorrectly.
Andrew Walsh
Or just go to the Stens page, find Lisa, and find Ruby's Instagram page.
Luke Burbank
And make sure you say, go Seahawks. To Lisa. She loves the Seahawks. It's her favorite sports team.
Andrew Walsh
Absolutely. I was hanging out with a dog at the truck stop yesterday and boy, little dog named. A rescue named Zoe that this truck driver drives around with. I didn't even tell you about this whole thing. I get in the truck with this guy, they set up all these GoPro cameras. I'm asking about his setup and stuff. And I asked him about traveling with a dog and he. It's like the first question, like, hey, what's it like, you know, having a dog living here with you? And he just goes, well, I don't mean to get emotional. And then he starts crying and he says, if not for this dog, I would not be alive today.
Luke Burbank
Oh, my goodness.
Andrew Walsh
It was so intense and real.
Luke Burbank
Yeah.
Andrew Walsh
You know, and was just like, it's not going to be in the story. Because it's not really what the story is about, but it was like an extremely real moment between people. And I was like, I totally get it, dude.
Luke Burbank
Yeah, I totally get it.
Andrew Walsh
But aside from that, this dog was so stinking cute and sweet, Zoe, that I was like, I'm not trying to yell at PR people. So I get fired from my television job. But if it did happen, you get a dog. I do get to have a. A dog.
Luke Burbank
So that would be because you're home more, you mean?
Andrew Walsh
Exactly. But alas, for now, I am apparently unfairable. So I will continue to travel these United States, including going to Boston tomorrow, Andrew. So, you know, that'll be an adventure. I'm going to Boston to talk to an expert on mayonnaise. It's a real thing. Tell him.
Luke Burbank
Did you tell them I like mayonnaise? Will you work that in?
Andrew Walsh
We started with that.
Luke Burbank
That's how the piece started. I have a friend. I have a friend who doesn't like mayonnaise. You got to start broad and then narrow down your thesis.
Andrew Walsh
Yep. And that's exactly. It's the inverted pyramid. It's journal. It's the journalism writes itself, Andrew.
Luke Burbank
Some people like mayonnaise, some people don't. Okay, But.
Andrew Walsh
But on the other hand. Anyway. All right, everybody, well, thank you so much for listening. We will be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio. So if you could please tune in for that. In the meantime, have a great Thursday take. Oh, you know, tomorrow also, we're gonna have the tbtl, the great tbtl Billboard Hunt. Clue number four. Is that right? Yeah, we're on number four.
Luke Burbank
I think people are getting closer home in. Yeah.
Andrew Walsh
So please join us for that. In the meantime, have a great Thursday, take care of yourselves, and please remember, no mountain too tall.
Luke Burbank
And good luck to all. The comedy factor speaks for itself. It's just painfully obvious. Yeah. Yeah. It's an unfulfilled prophecy. It just has to be played out. Power out.
Podcast Summary: TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live
Episode #4487: The Man Who Brought The Medium Edge To The Casino
Release Date: June 12, 2025
In episode #4487 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live, hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh delve into a mix of lighthearted banter, personal anecdotes, and an intriguing encounter at the world's largest truck stop. The episode seamlessly blends humor with insightful discussions, offering listeners both entertainment and thoughtful commentary.
The episode kicks off with the hosts transitioning into their regular Blurs Day segment—a playful take on Thursdays. Andrew shares a personal moment of vulnerability, recounting a recent meltdown at the truck stop which sets the tone for a candid and relatable conversation.
Notable Quote:
Andrew Walsh [03:02]: "It's a Thursday, AKA Blurs Day... we'll do that blurs day thing that we do on this show."
Luke reflects on his communication style on the show, attributing his fast-talking nature to past experiences of rushing through live radio shows.
Notable Quote:
Luke Burbank [05:18]: "Brevity and clarity."
A significant portion of the episode focuses on Andrew and Luke's experience while recording at the world's largest truck stop. They aimed to capture a diverse range of trucker stories but faced resistance from the PR representative who preferred a more stereotypical portrayal of truckers.
Key Points:
Andrew's Journalistic Integrity: Andrew emphasizes the importance of authentic journalism, expressing frustration when asked to conform to a specific image.
Notable Quote:
Andrew Walsh [62:03]: "We are journalists. We are going to talk to who we want to talk to."
Diversity in Trucking: The hosts discuss their efforts to highlight the evolving demographics of truckers, featuring women, younger individuals, and people of color, challenging traditional stereotypes.
Confrontation and Resolution: Andrew recounts a tense moment when the PR person firmly shut down their approach. Despite the initial confrontation, the team managed to move past the incident and continued their interviews without lingering tensions.
Notable Quote:
Andrew Walsh [67:46]: "I will say it's a little bit different, but it reminds me a little bit of..."
Interspersed throughout the episode are humorous exchanges between Luke and Andrew, touching on topics like back scratchers, casino commercials featuring mediums, and personal stories about birthdays and family members.
Key Segments:
Back Scratcher Banter: The hosts share funny anecdotes about back scratchers, highlighting their quirky personalities and the humorous side of everyday objects.
Notable Quote:
Luke Burbank [41:12]: "You should get him a stay at home back scratcher for your place."
Listener Shoutouts: The episode features heartfelt and funny messages from listeners, celebrating birthdays and special occasions with playful remarks.
Notable Quote:
Andrew Walsh [53:05]: "Now you're hanging out with people like Norm Charlton."
Andrew and Luke delve into broader themes of media representation, discussing the ethics of portraying industries like trucking in specific lights. They debate the balance between catering to client desires and maintaining journalistic authenticity.
Key Insights:
Authentic Storytelling: The importance of presenting genuine stories over manufactured stereotypes is a recurring theme.
Media Control: Andrew challenges the notion of allowing external PR influences to dictate the narrative, advocating for editorial independence.
The episode wraps up with the hosts expressing gratitude towards their supporters and teasing upcoming segments, including the TBTL Billboard Hunt. They maintain their signature blend of humor and sincerity, leaving listeners eagerly anticipating future episodes.
Notable Quote:
Andrew Walsh [89:58]: "Have a great Thursday, take care of yourselves, and please remember, no mountain too tall."
Episode #4487 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live offers a delightful mix of humor, personal stories, and meaningful discussions. Through their engaging dialogue, Luke and Andrew provide listeners with both laughs and thoughtful insights, exemplifying why their show remains a beloved daily companion for many.
Highlights:
Recommendation:
This episode is a must-listen for fans who enjoy a blend of comedy and genuine conversation, along with those interested in the behind-the-scenes dynamics of podcasting and journalism.