
Andrew had the perfect weekend. Luke’s mom shares an incredible perspective on the aging process. And Luke and Andrew finally discuss the infuriating story of a woman who accidentally tipped $5000 but couldn’t get her bank to stop the payment from...
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Luke Burbank
You're watching Sunrise 7.
Andrew Walsh
It's 6:43 as Sunrise 7 continues. He's an award winning and master yo yoist and he's from right here in our area.
Luke Burbank
But he has more than fun tricks.
Jeff
Boy, oh boy, we're going to submit.
Luke Burbank
This one for an Emmy. But he has more fun tricks that are more than just about yo yos. Amy Flugsop, Rescue me. Take it away from me this morning. Good morning.
Jeff
I'm hearing you.
Luke Burbank
I don't think it's even possible this morning, Jeff. I don't know. I'll do my best though.
Andrew Walsh
Kenny Strasser, who is actually from anago.
Luke Burbank
And as we said, he is a.
Andrew Walsh
Master yoyoist and you have competed in a lot of different competitions.
Luke Burbank
Tell us a little bit about how you got started to be a yoyo master. Honestly, I am just a 35 year old kid at heart, twice divorced. I have no kids. I don't have a girlfriend. Don't want one. It takes a lot of practice. My parents live in Denver. They just got divorced. My dad is now in Oshkosh and honestly, I'm just going all around. I have a brother in Portland who I don't get along with very well because of his wife and I'm not going to go.
Jeff
Dad.
Luke Burbank
Hi. We're dealing with some issues this morning.
Andrew Walsh
So we will actually just head back.
Luke Burbank
To Jeff and bow and we'll be joining you a bit more with some of these yo yo tricks coming up in just a bit. Bye.
Jeff
TBTL.
Luke Burbank
Ah, gazpacho soup just burned my lips. The gazpacho?
Jeff
Yeah, it's been sitting out. It warmed up.
Andrew Walsh
It warmed up so much that it burned your lip.
Luke Burbank
Let me explain something to you. If you're expecting something ice cold and.
Jeff
You bring it up to your lips.
Luke Burbank
And it's room temp, it's going to feel like your mouth's on fire. It's gonna feel like your body's on fire. Don't bully me. All right? I can't take it. I was cyberbullied within an inch of.
Andrew Walsh
My life last night.
Luke Burbank
I don't even know what that means.
Jeff
No one knows what it means, but it's provocative. We've established that you don't have any.
Luke Burbank
Journalistic integrity, but what would it cost.
Jeff
To buy you some tbtl?
Luke Burbank
Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone to a Monday edition of TBT show that just might be too beautiful to live. It does take time and it is a pain in the ass. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host Carol hold my calls. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio.
Jeff
Bring it back home baby. Bring it back home.
Luke Burbank
Perched high above the mighty Columbia where it's a oh Ma PA it's just beautiful. Beautiful day. My yard less beautiful. This has been my experience recently. I go crazy getting everything all weed whacked and mowed and the place looks all nice. And then I go out of town for a week for work and I come back and it's freaking Gray Gardens around here. That's alright though. That gives me a project and there's nothing I love more than a project. Here's a project that we're all going to engage in. Episode 4489 there's my bell in a collector's series.
Jeff
Let the fun begin.
Luke Burbank
My parents were here this weekend and my mom had a real Alzheimer this morning when it came to her thoughts on the aging process I say was up doke. I'll share that with you. Share a message of hope about getting older from my mom, Susie B. We'll also talk to this guy. The longest running cobra of the show may be best known for his depictions of the tall ships goldfish. You forgot he's Andrew Walsh and he is joining me right now. Good morning my friend.
Jeff
Good morning Luke. I was kind of startled when I got an email from you yesterday because every now and then you and I will. Well actually quite a bit, you, me and the other baseball boys on the fun loving criminals text chain. We'll talk about sports, we'll talk about the Mariners. But that's more of a text related kind of conversation and I don't get a lot of emails from you on the weekends. And I looked down at my phone on I guess it was yesterday maybe mid morning and I saw from the preview that had an email from you said an email from Luke and the subject line was defending Julio Rodriguez of course our our much celebrated center fielder. And I thought this is is Luke really going through something with the Mariners? Why is he emailing me treatises about Julio Rodriguez and also who's attacking him, you know, like it's not like we've been like super heavy on him.
Luke Burbank
Mostly me.
Jeff
Yeah, mostly you.
Luke Burbank
And I was like that was the irony.
Jeff
That was the thing. And I'm trying to think, I'm looking here when I got this and I was like did this come early in the morning? Was I bleary eyed? I don't know. Turns out it came from Luke Arkins, a Mariners reporter who I am a big fan of. But Sends out emails every now and then. He hasn't been pinging my inbox as much as usual, so all I had to do is expand it. I guess this story doesn't have what we call a power out, but I will just tell you in that moment, I'm like, what is going on with my buddy Luke? He's emailing me his emails on the weekend with the subject line defending Julio Rodriguez. Are you all right, buddy?
Luke Burbank
Sent you an email this weekend and probably at a very weird time for you. I flew home from Boston. My flight home left Boston at 6am and I was on the plane and I had a lot of downtime and so I was sending a bunch of emails. I sent you an email about some show stuff this week. It probably got. I realized I was like, I wonder if Andrew will catch this. I wonder if Andrew's actually still up in the west. Oh, I'm sending this at like three, maybe three in the morning. Your timer, it might have been later than that when it came.
Jeff
Oh, really? There. I mean, there is sometimes a chance on a Friday or Saturday night if it's that late. Can I just really quickly tell you about my weekend then we'll get into.
Luke Burbank
I would love to hear about the weekend.
Jeff
I think I had the perfect weekend, Luke, for me. For me personally, because Friday was pretty normal day, but was able to like kind of pack up all the newsletter stuff. I don't know if you noticed, but I skipped a hey Dummies this week. I'll do one next week. Don't worry about it.
Luke Burbank
But wrapped up, I recorded a hey Dummies Andrew. I don't know if it works, but it involves me and Walt and a certain thing that you sent to my.
Jeff
Oh, you already recorded one that we could use for this week. That would just get me off the hook. That would just get me out of a jam that I will.
Luke Burbank
Because I was. It was gonna be my week.
Jeff
It was supposed to be your week. But then I will make it my weekend. We'll make it your week.
Luke Burbank
I don't know if it has. Speaking of not having a power out, I'm not sure if the has a power out, but it does exist and I will send it to you.
Jeff
Does. I mean, that's honestly the standard I'm looking for. Does it have some sort of visual element? Does it have audio that will move the needles on an audio board?
Luke Burbank
And if so, yes, it satisfies those two.
Jeff
That's all we need, baby.
Luke Burbank
It clears those incredibly low bars.
Jeff
That is all we need. Pop that in there.
Luke Burbank
I gotcha.
Jeff
Write a little intro.
Luke Burbank
Yep.
Jeff
Bob's your uncle. All right.
Luke Burbank
So anyway, how do you manage your expectations?
Jeff
So Friday night was just very, very chill. I got done with work at a normal time. Just got myself, Luke, my new. Got myself a Papa John's pizza. Got one for me and Viv or downloaded the app. I'm like, I'm in the culture now. I am. I. I'm sorry. I keep saying, Papa John's Papa Murphy. Murphy's Papa Murphy's.
Luke Burbank
Different.
Jeff
Huge difference. Huge difference. And I really gotta. There's something about their names, though, and I can't put my finger on it, but I get them confused.
Luke Burbank
Remember, one is a racist.
Jeff
Right.
Luke Burbank
And one is not.
Jeff
And the one named Murphy, weirdly, is not true. But anyway, so I'm trying to think who I just insulted.
Luke Burbank
I want to say one thing really quick.
Jeff
I just insulted. Do we have a Murphy?
Luke Burbank
I said Papa John Schnatter. Packing the board did. So I think you can actually buy Papa John's pizza in good conscience now. It's not. He's not actually there anymore. So if we have listeners who are franchisees or work there or just love the pizza, please keep on loving it. Like, this is.
Jeff
This is what.
Luke Burbank
Thankfully, that all went down at a time where some saying racist things on a company call still got you fired.
Jeff
Yes.
Luke Burbank
There's a brief window of time where that would get you fired, and that was during that window.
Jeff
It was also unambiguous. The words he used. You don't have to go. You don't have to parse them in great detail to figure out.
Luke Burbank
Yes. But these days, I don't think you are under any pressure. Regardless of if you own the business, you can say anything you want. And in fact, you'll probably get a slot on Fox News.
Jeff
That's you. Exactly. And potentially a position somewhere. Yeah. In the administration.
Luke Burbank
The secretary of pizza, anyway.
Jeff
Oh, that sounds wonderful. You have been bucking.
Luke Burbank
You have a lot. Here's the formal training, Andrew. But you have a lot of lived experience with that. I put your name on the list.
Jeff
Thank you. So, anyway, I got myself a Papa Murphy's. I've downloaded the app now after having. I've ordered two Papa Murphy's in about two weeks, having gone my entire life without ever doing that before. So I really feel like I've taken to the culture. They're sending me promo codes now. Like, this is it me. Papa Murphy's in a relationship always. As the billboard famously says, got to watch a Mariners game that I Was totally braced for them to lose, but they end up winning. And then I come in my office after that and I spend hours upon hours going through more VHS tapes that I had been putting off digitizing. I kind of go through phases with my various hobbies. And it's something that, like, when I set it down for a while, I start to feel weird about it. I'm like, I haven't been doing this. And so I just cleared a bunch of stuff off of my hard drive, uploaded a bunch of really interesting things to YouTube. I have a full Luke. I have a full half hour Psychic Friends Network infomercial hosted by Dionne Warwick. I watched the whole thing. It's got sketches in there with the worst wigging I've ever seen in my life. And I'm a Mr. Show fan. It was amazing, just amazing.
Luke Burbank
I remember the Dionne Warwick Psychic Friends Network ads. That was a big part of my childhood. I don't remember sketches. And like, an actual infomercial sounds all hosted by D.N.
Jeff
Warwick. I'm actually going to see if I can play a little bit of tape of one of these sketches that is in the half hour thing. It is so wonderful. And then. Anyway, so that was my Friday night. But the whole thing about this weekend was I often have something that I have to do on Saturdays that kind of prevents me from maybe really getting into yard work or something. But I had a totally free Saturday. The weather looked like it was going to cooperate. And I've had like, this project that I kind of started on Tuesday that I really needed to finish on Saturday. And my whole plan was work in the yard until I'm ready to drop on Saturday until the sun goes down and then. And then relax the rest of the night. Maybe, you know, maybe go back to my digitizing project. Everything went exactly as planned on Saturday. I extended out this kind of walkway area I probably bought. I don't even. I could probably do the math on it. I can't tell you how many pounds of stones, like various gardening stones and walkway stones and everything from Lowe's. But I kept going back and buying more and buying more because I don't know what the suspension on my car can handle. And so. But like, I've been so sore from just like lifting these bags of stones. And. But it's a project that I've been wanting to do almost since we moved in here. Like, the garden area was nice when we moved in, and it's kind of gone more and more to seed. I mean, almost like literally. And I Would like, weed, and I'd pull these things up. But, like, this whole walkway area that used to be the stone walkway had all this kind of grass growing up that I would weed, but the grass was growing Luke on the thing. They laid down underneath the stone to prevent weeds from growing up. It basically just became a mulch bed. So I pulled all of that up, and I didn't lay anything else down, but I'm like, this is the problem. And I just pulled all this stuff up and laid down all this stone. The yard is looking like. I mean, I was having a bad feeling coming home. I would walk through my little gate and I would see these weeds, and I'd have a bad feeling. Everything is so tidy out there. I did exactly what I wanted. I worked until about, like, seven or eight. Then I just grilled. I didn't even go inside, didn't wash up. I'm like, you're out here now. Grill them up, baby. I grilled. The Mariners have a twin. And then on Sunday, I get to go to the Mariners game with a whole huge heaping helping of friends for this Croatian heritage. Yeah, on a beautiful Sunday. So I got a little bit of socializing in, but it wasn't, like, scary socializing.
Luke Burbank
It was a nice, relaxed game. Game. You got that Grand Salami from J.P. crawford.
Jeff
Yeah. My buddy from high school came up from Portland to watch. He's a Cleveland fan, but also just kind of a baseball fan. So he didn't get, like, too much in his feelings about the sweep, I think. Or at least he's a. He's a good sport. But anyway, it was just like, such. And the weather's nice, and I'm just like. I don't know if I've ever felt so ready for a Monday. I'm not a big Monday person. I'm a bit of a Garfield when it comes to that stuff.
Luke Burbank
I love this for you. I'm feeling really great myself because, again, I haven't been able to do this show from home in a week. So this just automatically puts some pep in my step and.
Jeff
Good.
Luke Burbank
Speaking of projects, I've got many. I'm doing this thing in July where my siblings, all of my siblings are coming to stay for the weekend. And no kids, no spouses. This is going to be just the Burbank kids. And so I'm like, now I've just got a checklist. I mean, it's not until July, like, early July, but I have a checklist going of things. And in fact, as I sit here and talk to you, of course, I'm highly focused on the task at hand, which is tbtl. But I can't help but like look around at the yard and just see like millions of things that I want to try to get done before everybody shows up. My mom said last night, she was like, listen, doesn't have to be. Everything doesn't have to be perfect. You know, just get done what you can get done. Don't stress. And I was like, yeah, but you know me, I kind of, I kind of will not feel good about things if unless stuff is mostly put together. My mom had some other amazing advice this morning about getting older, some perspective.
Jeff
So they're staying with you?
Luke Burbank
Yeah, they were. They got here. They're actually now going down to my sister's house. They're house sitting for my sister Liz because they're her and her family. They're going to be traveling and so they're watching their dogs and stuff like that. But they stopped off here because this is now. I was at the world's largest truck stop last week. This is now the world's largest Burbank stop. It is a conveniently located midpoint between my parents and everybody else in the family. So it's. There are many days where I just come out of the. I come out of my bedroom in the morning and they're just sitting there and I go, oh, okay, you're here.
Jeff
So you know, you've always been here.
Luke Burbank
Precisely. I keep calling my dad Grady.
Jeff
Before we extend this into the next most memorable part of that scene, let's move on.
Luke Burbank
But so they, you know, my, my mom and my dad of course are getting a little bit older. I think they're doing great for their age, thankfully. But my mom, we were commiserating last night. Well, here's what happened. Becca and I were out at this like a winery on Saturday that we really like called Blakesley. And it's run by this couple, they own the winery and they own this kind of amazing house that's kind of part of the winery and this swimming pool and they have this Polar Bear Club. If you join the wine club, which we have never done, you get to jump in the swimming pool at their house on a very cold day. And then you get on this plaque called the Polar Bear Plunge. And I'm always very tempted to do that because it seems kind of fun. But like, we overheard one of the people, the co owner of the winery, say someone was taking a picture and she said, I hate being in pictures. And what I was struck by was that this woman is so vivacious for her age and it looks amazing and is such, you know, and the idea that she would really dislike being in pictures, I thought, boy, isn't that just the way it is? Like, I'm looking at this person who I've just met a couple times from being there and thinking, man, she is. This is a really well put together person. And she's aging gracefully and like, how could you not want to be in pictures of this person? And she's just like, I hate being in pictures. And my mom is kind of the same way. My mom really, really hates photographs now. And I. So what I would say to my mom was, I was like, I was thinking about this yesterday because of this thing at the winery. And I was like, either I'm going to spend. Either we are all going to spend our lives wincing every time we pass by a mirror or it's time for a photograph, or you got to find a way to understand that we live in these bodies and these bodies are going to change over time. And this is essentially getting older is one of the most deeply human things that we can do. And to make some sort of peace with it, that being part of being alive is getting older and things our physical body changing and, and, and because I don't want to go the rest of my life just mourning every time that I notice a new droop somewhere or I, you know what I mean? Like, I just, I've got to figure out a way to, to feel fulfilled and happy in life outside of if I am looking young for my age or whatever. I'm just talking about myself personally. So I said this to my mom yesterday and we were talking about this and then we all, you know, went to bed and everything. In the morning, we were having some coffee and talking. My mom goes, I was thinking about what you said last night. She goes about getting old. And she goes, and you know what I think, look, okay, I'm getting older. I don't look very good anymore. But the thing is, your dad is ugly too.
Jeff
I'm glad she made peace with the situation.
Luke Burbank
That's the solution. Andrew. The thing about getting old is you, you start to look old, but the good news is the person you're with, yeah, they ain't looking so great either.
Jeff
Yeah, that's pretty good. I was actually thinking that's even worse than, than my. Because as you're saying this, I was.
Luke Burbank
Like, yeah, you're trying to think of the worst possible solution to this, the sadness around aging. And, and you couldn't even think of something this bad.
Jeff
I was. Well, I would. My advice was gonna be, you gotta get ugly early. Because for me, aging, like, I've never liked photos of myself either. But I will say I'm probably more comfortable with a photo of myself now than I was when I was 14. And so in a certain way. And I've never been, like, a real stunner, but, like, I went through such a. Such a grotesquely awkward phase.
Luke Burbank
Excuse the word grotesque.
Jeff
Well, you ain't seen them. All those photos are burned. That again. I mean, we've talked. I mean, again, I'm not saying that I am comfortable being in photos. I definitely would prefer not to be in photos. But I guess I'd rather be in a photo now than I was, like, back then, you know? And so I guess that that's also part of. And I was like, boy, that's terrible advice. Hey, kids get awkward early. That way you'll feel better later on in life. But no, your mom topped me on that somehow.
Luke Burbank
It's crazy. I was like, I can't believe that was your takeaway from our conversation.
Jeff
Your dad's ugly too. Which, by the way. No, he's not.
Luke Burbank
He's not.
Jeff
Neither is either. Neither one of them.
Luke Burbank
My mom is beautiful, and my dad is actually weirdly not ugly like my dad.
Jeff
I took a dad. My dad is weirdly not ugly.
Luke Burbank
Took a picture of my dad last night wearing an item that, in fact, you gave him, Andrew. And. And I was like, this guy is aging very gracefully.
Jeff
He got that silk robe with.
Luke Burbank
Yes, yes. With. Absolutely. There's nobody who has spent less time. You wanna talk about a person who is more than okay with. However their body is changing and looking. My dad has never for one nanosecond considered his physical appearance.
Jeff
Yeah.
Luke Burbank
And is. And the irony is the guy looks great for his age.
Jeff
Right?
Luke Burbank
It does. Nothing exists on Keebler cookies and work.
Jeff
And cigars and hard work.
Luke Burbank
And hard work. And that's. That's. Maybe that is the key, actually, the hard work. But it's like, I. So I was like. I was like, mom, I cannot believe. And the funny thing is, my dad's sitting there drinking his coffee, doesn't bat it up.
Jeff
Oh, yeah. No, I knew he would.
Luke Burbank
Absolutely complete. He's being called ugly by the love of his life. They recently celebrated their 47th wedding anniversary. And absolutely no response.
Jeff
And he's just sipping from his coffee cup, like, celery man.
Luke Burbank
Can you imagine? Can you imagine if becca said something 11 neighborhoods over from that about Me, right.
Jeff
You would feel a disturbance in the.
Luke Burbank
I would be walking into the Columbia river right now with many, many stones in my pocket. Like, I mean, it is. I just thought that was the. That was the most amazing takeaway from what I was trying to present to my mom was a message of hope in that, you know, like, we don't have to feel sad about the fact that we're changing. It's part of life. That's part of what happens to us. And her takeaway was the good news is your dad is also ugly.
Jeff
I can hear her saying that, by the way. I feel like I'm there. Can I tell you something about photos and us being in photos? That this is a sort of a. I don't even know what to call this. A flight of fancy. Maybe even a fantasy that I concocted a long time ago. I'd be surprised if I haven't mentioned it to you before, but that's never stopped me before. But I resurrected this little. Again, not a theory, but a flight of fancy. At the ball game yesterday, I was telling our friend Ders about this thing that I think about sometime because it was after the game, and a group of about 10 of us are standing up on the concourse, kind of waiting. Somebody's using the restroom. We're figuring out where we're all going afterwards or whatever, and some other group of people are taking a photo behind us. And I kind of like, as a goo. I don't want to even be in the background of this photo. So I sort of just shifted myself to be behind some other people. And then it reminded me. Reminded me of this thing that I think about sometimes, which is how fascinating would it be if at the end of your life, you were presented with like a. I don't know, a slideshow of every photo that you were accidentally in throughout your life? Not on purpose. It's not a slideshow of all the photos of you with your friends posing and a hiking trip or whatever. It's not yearbook photos. It's only a montage of the photos that you were accidentally in and other people on vacation photos going back to your childhood or photos of Green Lake park of somebody taking a photo of a duck at Green Lake Park. But there's young Luke Burbank hacky sacking in the background, and you just get to watch all of those.
Luke Burbank
Like, I was at an ice protest.
Jeff
Yes, right. Exactly.
Luke Burbank
That was an off. That was an off air conversation. I was at the. I was not. I wouldn't say I was protesting, but I did walk down to look at the ice protest that was happening in Portland and it was declared a riot by the police. And it was, as you said, Andrew, in a certain way, a riot because there were people hacky sacking someone playing a good time. It was a. It was a generally pretty chill affair, honestly, that was being declared a riot by the police. But back to. But anyway, this photo project, I think that's really interesting.
Jeff
Yeah, I don't think that in. First of all, I don't believe in, you know, heaven. So that's kind of. Or any kind of afterlife. So I don't see really how this is a practical thing, but it would be interesting instead of like having, you know, instead of going up there and being judged or whatever happens. And the other fantasies. In my fantasy, you just get to see a montage of all the accidental footage of you throughout your life and you get to watch yourself grow up in that very weird, disconnected, almost like. Yeah, I guess disconnected or objective way unguarded moments. Unguarded, yes.
Luke Burbank
We would call that in your book a candid.
Jeff
Sure.
Luke Burbank
Like, I think I'd be more interested in seeing that than seeing the photos that I was posing for.
Jeff
That's why I mean it really. Now that I'm going to explore this a little bit more with you here. Not to sound highfalutin, like I have any guiding principles in my life, but to the degree that I do, it does fit in with this guiding principle that I have that is accidental moments that you save for a long time can have more meaning than the deliberate ones. And maybe that even goes for, like, hey, we're going to do the. Maybe it even ties into a little bit into the reason I don't get excited about, like, holidays necessarily or certainly not compared to other people. Like, the idea of, like, hey, we all have to get together and party on New Year's Eve. And like, that's never held appeal to me. I'm like, let's do it the day after the day before. It really doesn't matter, matter. And maybe like, that's kind of like getting a lot of energy around. Like, hey, let's all get in this big group photo. Like, it's never been kind of my thing, but what do I have here but a bag of voicemail tapes that I saved from the 90s because I thought, oh, someday it'll be meaningful to me when I hear a random voicemail from a friend saying, hey, come down to the bar, my band is playing and you've been skipping out on too much stuff. Or a voicemail from my grandma saying, are you still going to visit this weekend? Or whatever, you know, Like, I'm a big fan of letting ephemera sort of tell the story, and I sort of see this as maybe playing into that.
Luke Burbank
Oh, I agree. I mean, I mean. And I also agree I'm probably. I'm certainly less put off by being in a group photo. Although I will be honest with you, it's not my favorite. Yeah, it's not. It's like, you know, but. But I totally agree with you that it's a much more interesting thing to tell the story of one's life through the sort of little moments of, like you said, voicemail messages and. And a photograph of me sasquatching where I'm just in the background walking.
Jeff
Exactly right. Honestly, now that I think about it, that's sort of my thing with commercials too. Spending having just come off a weekend of like, intense, like, digitizing of VHS tapes. I found a Peter Jennings news brief from. And I was able to like, use all these. I spent a long time last night kind of using a whole bunch of clues to figure out exactly when this one thing was recorded because it was a soap opera. And I did a lot of research into who these characters were on One Life to Live and when one of them got married. And I'm like, I think this is from April 8th, 18th, 1986. And then they go into a news break and there's Peter Jennings. And I was able to sort of cross check, like the news, which was pretty grim, like from that little news brief with what I thought was happening in the world of the soap opera. And I was like, yes, I have nailed down this thing is from that exact date. And again, what I like about it is it's not the show itself I'm interested in. It's these fleeting commercials from however many years ago that was. Yeah, 40, I guess. And the. In the quick news break that's three minutes long with Peter Jennings. Like, I like. I just like the stuff that's in between a little bit more than the main feature, I guess.
Luke Burbank
Yeah, I actually totally agree with you. I think that stuff is way more interesting. Give me a good. Coming up at 11. Give me a news promo. A local news promo. Yeah, about. About what's going to be on at 11. I live for that stuff. We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle. On your mark. On your mark.
Andrew Walsh
Get set, get set now.
Jeff
Ready?
Luke Burbank
Ready? Go.
Andrew Walsh
Everybody.
Luke Burbank
Hey, let's thank some dazzling donors. These folks are donating a dazzling amount of dough voluntarily. It's how this show exists five days a week. It's 100% listener supported. We are getting ever closer to this year's a TVTL a thon which I'm very excited to give folks more details on coming up when that is appropriate it but it's going to be a fun time. In the meantime, we are here. We're able to do this because of folks who have been supporting us this year. Folks like Holly Franz. Franz like hands, dumps like trucks. To quote Cisco, the other one, not the gardening guy. Holly is in Alexandria, Virginia and says it's hard to dazzle these days, but I'm grateful for the show, the community, imaginary friends. Last year I closed with remember to hydrate. And the very next day, Andrew had trouble giving blood. So as a superstitious person, I'm hesitant to say anything.
Jeff
Well, Luke is taking a huge pull off of his giant water bottle.
Luke Burbank
I am trying to hydrate myself over there.
Jeff
That reminds me, those giant water bottles were all the rage a while back. Huh? Who was the. Who was the.
Luke Burbank
Jonah Hill. Hadley.
Jeff
Jonah Hill. I was trying to think of his name. You have your real big Jonah Hill water bottle. I am. Well, you know, maybe we can take a little exploration here because Holly brought up hydrating and you have your bottle. I'm drinking out of this kuow nice water bottle I have right here. And I think jade is when she metal when she donated a while back. And the thing is, I've always just had like a plastic little water bottle that I use. I think I got my first one when you and I went hitchhiking and I replaced it. But it's just like, you know, I bought it new, but it's just a cheapo from the grocery store. But the other day I was recording a hey dummies video. I might have already told you this. And this kuow nice water bottle was in the background kind of sitting next to me. I'm like, that looks so much better than my plastic water bottle. And like, I'm not somebody who usually thinks about how something looks. I'm more just about what's practical. But I'm like, I want another one of these. So now I've been researching. I want to know the company that made this kow water bottle. I wish I knew somebody who worked there because I want this exact water bottle, but I want more of them. I can't just have this.
Luke Burbank
That's a real Lucarian.
Jeff
I know.
Luke Burbank
Burbankian approach. Like, I like this, and now I need to have multiples of it, so then I can. I will never be without this.
Jeff
Well, what you. What's even more Lucarian Burbankian is I was on wire cutter. I'm like, reading wire cutters recommendations for the best water bottles because I couldn't find this particular one. And I think I honed in on the one I want. But then they have one thing, which is if you're gonna drink it without a lid, the lip is a little thick, and I'm like this. It's like a $60 water bottle. I'm like, am I gonna spend $60 on a water bottle and then think it's too thick the whole time?
Luke Burbank
Well, also, don't you get a slight flavor of plastic from the plastic water bottle?
Jeff
Not that I've noticed. Although the more reading you do about this, I mean, there's a huge focus about, like. Yeah. The flavor kind of staying with it or the flavor transfer. And the one I'm looking at buying, which is like a. It's glass coated on the inside, but it's metal on the outside. But it's not break about it is great. They say, like, as far as flavor transfer, like, it's just. It's in the negative territory, practically. They said they left it under the car seat with kombucha.
Luke Burbank
It actually steals flavor from your mouth.
Jeff
It does. They said they left it under a car seat with kombucha in it for, like, four days and then washed it out and then drank water out of it, and there was no flavor transfer.
Luke Burbank
That's what the flavor transfer is. I thought flavor transfer was. You're getting the flavor of the water bottle. This is. You have something in the water bottle, then you have a totally different thing, and it doesn't taste like the first.
Jeff
Yeah, exactly. Like, it really keeps that sort of. I don. I'm using that term. I don't know that they use it, but when you had, like, a concern about a flavor being stuck to the plastic or whatever, I was just.
Luke Burbank
I just have memories of drinking, like, water out of a plastic water bottle that maybe you've been on a hike or something where it's just kind of gotten roomed more than room temperature.
Jeff
Yeah, I know what you're talking.
Luke Burbank
There's that kind of like, just that kind of very unsatisfying, warm, plasticky water taste.
Jeff
That is a really good point. I do think that I usually keep it so full of water and ice. I'm a big ice guy. So I'm usually like as much ice as possible, then a little water. That doesn't affect me too. But yeah, I really got in my head about. And so I'm on the great water bottle, the water canister hunt of 2025. And it's all thanks to Holly, our dazzling donor.
Luke Burbank
That's exactly right, Holly. You've done so much for the show. Holly says I'm superstitious so I'm hesitant to say anything. So I'll just plug my company and work. It's called Human Technology Inc. If you work somewhere that needs customized training and development, strategic planning, team building, meaningful, not the dorky kind, executive coaching, career consulting or other human capital solutions, we are happy to help. Help. We're a small values based company who legit believes in the work we do, making the work experience a better place for all. You can reach us@humtech.com, that's H U M T E C-H.com or reach me directly on Insta. I'm NickTuna. That's N I c T u n A. Those apparently are Holly's dogs.
Jeff
Oh, okay. Dogs.
Luke Burbank
If you're wondering what nick tuna means N I c t u n a. Or maybe one's named Nicked and one's named Una, I don't know. Or Nick 2 and NA. There are a lot of different things that this could be working with, but it's N I c T u n a to close. Superstition aside, definitely remember to hydrate. Holly could only stay off of the topic of hydration for so long. I have to say, Andrew, you know you were talking about this water bottle that I bought because I saw multiple people, including Jonah Hill carrying them around this very large also metal.
Jeff
I love it.
Luke Burbank
Powder coated. I have a bigger one too, by the way.
Jeff
I mean those things must be. I mean I'm looking at a small size one. That's $60. That's really nice. I'm not trying to count other people's money, but those things must be. Those must go for a pretty penny.
Luke Burbank
I don't think this was. This was made by SL or sm. It says on the bottom S M water bottle. Well, there's like, I don't know if it's SLM or if the thing I think is an L is actually a demarcation between the S and the M if that makes sense. But like, like I don't remember this being prohibitively expensive. But what I will say is go me, I'm still using it.
Jeff
Yeah, yeah. I mean it's that. It looks good. It's solid.
Luke Burbank
Yeah.
Jeff
No, by the way, I hope you didn't take that as a dig. I didn't mean as a dig. I just remember, like, I think of. I couldn't think of his name, but it's, like, so funny. I see a water bottle like that, and I just, like, immediately think of Jonah Hill. Like, I can't.
Luke Burbank
Right. Well, there's paparazzi photos of him carrying it, and I remember seeing that. And. And he had, at that time, kind of undergone a pretty big physical transformation. He got really into surfing and he just, like. Of all people, Jonah Hill. I thought, man, Jonah Hill's got life figured out. And. And so I thought, I'll get one of those, and I'll just carry it everywhere full of water, and then I'll just be hydrating left and right, and before you know it, Holly will stop yelling at me.
Jeff
Yeah.
Luke Burbank
And. And that didn't exactly happen, but I still have it, and I still use it a lot, and I still do bring it with me to places. So, again, I haven't reached Jonah Hill levels of carrying my. This water bottle around, but I've also not just like, like, you know, tossed it into the dust bin of my personal history, which is kind of a. A thing that I'm always worried about doing because I am, unfortunately, a person who tends to consume a lot of things and think that things are going to make me feel a certain way. Having said that, I. I do think as I look around, even like, I'm looking at my. The ebike that I'm going to take for a ride tonight, which, you know, you made a joke. What's. That Was actually a legitimately great joke. I had taken it for a ride and you're like. Like something like, well, I guess you'll be getting it down. Back. You'll be getting it back down from that rack. What did you say, like, a year from now or something? It was a legitimately such a good joke, but it's like, I do. I live in fear because. Because I do acquire so much stuff, and I don't think of that as a very good way of being. And I kind of live in fear that I'm buying things and then I'm not using things, but I actually think I do use a lot of the things that I buy. I don't know why I'm having this, like, weird defensive conversation with myself. I'm just taking you through my mental process of thinking about how I am in the world, and it's like, I'll give you an example. Like these Birkenstocks.
Jeff
Oh, yeah. Did you just take that off your foot? Are you wearing that now?
Luke Burbank
I'm wearing these now. I'm wearing Birkenstocks right now because I.
Jeff
Thought that you had sort of tried and then turned your back on the Birkenstyle. The Birkenstock lifestyle or I called the Birkenstyle because I thought you took on vacation and didn't like them.
Luke Burbank
No, those were Tevas.
Jeff
Okay?
Luke Burbank
Those are Tevas. And yes, that. You're exactly right. I, they didn't. There was a hoax post V graph. My body rejected the Tevas.
Jeff
Okay, yes, this is it.
Luke Burbank
Rejects calling them Tevas even though that's apparently the real name.
Jeff
I refuse. I call them Tevas.
Luke Burbank
I got these Birkenstocks because I realized that on, like on a warm, on a summery day, I am working from home essentially. But I do have to go from my little house out here to this converted garage where I'm talking to you from. And sometimes I don't feel like putting on socks and shoes and it's. Or I have to go outside to get something. I'll get the mail or whatever. And so, so I, I thought I want to get some slip on shoes, but I want some that are going to last and are going to be kind of nice and that are weirdly enough, kind of, I think, sort of back into being a bit stylish.
Jeff
We should mention that these are clogged style Birkenstocks. So they're not, they're not the Birkenstock sandals that the first girl I kissed wore?
Luke Burbank
No. But man, congratulations.
Jeff
Thank you.
Luke Burbank
That's probably a.
Jeff
It was a big deal.
Luke Burbank
Well, anyway, I had many a crush on many a girl who was wearing those kind of. Of sandal style Birkenstocks back in the day.
Jeff
Yeah, yeah.
Luke Burbank
So I, I bought these Birkenstocks. They're actually not cheap, but I, I could have bought, I could have purchased some slides at JCPenney down at the mall or something. I could have bought something that was a little bit more kind of disposable. But I did some research. I was like, I'm gonna buy some, Some slip on shoes that I also think if I, if I slip them on and I go to the store, do they look kind of okay? Or at least my ver. My version of okay, like if you.
Jeff
Forget you're wearing them, sort of. I do that with some indoor shoes that I have that I try to keep just as indoor shoes, but they look okay. And sometimes I literally will be walking out to the car, so I'm like, ah, I'm still wearing my indoor shoes. But that's okay. They can. They can handle it.
Luke Burbank
Yeah. And I. Yeah. So I didn't want to just buy something on impulse. I did some research. I looked around at options. I got these Birkenstocks, which I actually really like. And what did I do this morning after my mom explained how to age gracefully? And I did my little exercise workout and took my shower and stuff, I. I got dressed, and I slid into these Birkenstocks and walked out here. And now I'm talking to you. That is such a small event. But I guess when those small events unfold that way, I kind of feel like, oh, okay. That was. You had an idea, you took action on it, and it's actually working kind of the way that you were hoping it would work.
Jeff
And if you're ever in the audience of George W. Bush giving a speech, you can easily slip that off and throw it at him.
Luke Burbank
Absolutely. There's other people higher on the list of shoe throwing.
Jeff
Now, for me, wasn't he. Didn't he.
Luke Burbank
Oh, he was. Yeah.
Jeff
I want to make sure.
Luke Burbank
I think he was in Iraq.
Jeff
He was in Iraq. Yes, he was. Yeah. And somebody.
Luke Burbank
And I think that that is known in the Middle East. That's a particular sign of disrespect.
Jeff
Yeah. Dodge a shoe.
Luke Burbank
He had to dodge a shoe. Yeah, exactly. So anyway, Holly, we're getting enough water around here because we bought a water bottle, but then we continue to use it. That's what I wanted to say to you. Definitely. Remember to hydrate. Surround yourself with people who bring joy and spark laughter like us. I added that part. And maybe foster a creature to fill the gaps. Yes, man. I was fostering that creature named Bubbles this weekend. That cat is. She has figured out how to open. She figured out in the middle of the night how to open Becca's jewelry box.
Jeff
Oh, jewelry out of it. A lot of expensive cat toys in that jewelry box.
Luke Burbank
I mean, but, like, this is like, as a human, I don't know if I could open this jewelry box. And she just. Cat has just like. This cat has just, like, analyzed it and problem solved and did a bunch of R and D and has now figured how to open the thing. But then the other thing she was doing. So that's when you want to look at.
Jeff
Was it a disaster, though? Was jewelry all over the place?
Luke Burbank
There was. I think. Well, what actually happened was that was last night. So on Saturday night, she was trying to open it, and Becca was yelling at her. And I was saying, whatever she's doing, you yelling at her is actually worse. The cat is. No, I was saying the cat is making noise, but you are making so much more noise yelling at the cat. And she was like, she's trying to open the jewelry box. And I was like, okay. And I went back to sleep. And then this morning, I got a text, a picture of the jewelry box open, and the jewelry spread about. So she had cracked the code starting on Saturday night, her project going till the last night, and she sort of figured it out. But the thing was also Sunday morning, she spent the whole morning just sitting on my lap. I was on the couch, and she was on my lap. And she was. I mean, the cuteness. She was grooming herself. And that just the sheer actual physical adorableness of this cat is off the charts. Off the charts. When she's not being an.
Jeff
Yeah.
Luke Burbank
Which is about 10 of the time. But, man, she really. She really comes through during that 10.
Jeff
Yeah.
Luke Burbank
Anyway, Holly wraps things up by saying cheers, Holly, cheers to you, and thank you so much for supporting the show. And everybody, go check out humtech, Human Technology Incorporated, if you need that.
Jeff
Are you sure it's not Hume Tech? Because it's not humming technology? It's human technology.
Luke Burbank
It is Hume Tech. But I feel like if I say humtech, it'll be more memorable.
Jeff
Yeah, okay.
Luke Burbank
It'll be easier to remember. You're right. It's probably Hume Tech. But I don't want them to spell it like Brit Hume.
Jeff
Yeah, that's a. Can I register Hume Tech like Brit Hume?
Luke Burbank
I'm Brit Hume. It's my Brit Hume. So I was trying to. I was intentionally saying it slightly wrong, hoping it would be more sticky.
Jeff
Yeah, okay. Sorry I messed it up.
Luke Burbank
No, no, no. But it's a good. It's a. It's a good clarification, Holly. Thank you very much. Maestro, on your mark. On your mark.
Andrew Walsh
Get set, get set now.
Jeff
Ready?
Luke Burbank
Ready, Go. Everybody rattle dazzle. It's Will Richard in Mount Lake Terrace, Washington. Thank you, Will, for the pronouncer. I would have probably said. Said it wrong. Richard, it's French by way of Louisiana.
Jeff
I guarantee is Montlake Terrace. Is that the camera district? Is that where I bought a camera in a parking lot?
Luke Burbank
No, you bought a camera.
Jeff
Why do you know this better than me?
Luke Burbank
Lake Forest Park.
Jeff
I get them confused. Mount Lake Terrace, Lake Forest Park. They both sound beautiful.
Luke Burbank
They are both very beautiful. Mount Lake Terrace was a land of dreams for Me as a kid because there was a place called the Mountain Lake Terrace Pavilion, and it was a gigantic swimming pool complex and they had many diving boards. I just lived for going to swimming pools and jumping off of diving boards as a kid. And they had a big one up there in Mount Lake Terrace when I could trick my mom, talk my mom into driving me up there. It was a good Saturday. Will says I've been listening since I moved to Seattle in 2008 when I started law school at the U Dub, TBTL filled a hole in my heart that had been left behind when the Don and Mike show ended earlier that year. Wow. Will I take that as high, high praise. Will may reference this in his message. Of course, I haven't pre read that that would involve me being a professional. And I don't want to start that now at this point. But there's a lot of the inspiration in this show on my end of it is totally from the Don and Mike show, which was a show out of dc. It was on wjfk, but it was on, I want to say, the Buzz in Seattle. 100.7 FM. The buzz.
Jeff
What a name for a radio station.
Luke Burbank
And I loved the Don and Mike Show. They had this incredibly long intro package. My memory of it is it was like, maybe there's like 10 minutes of music. You know, we have a pretty long intro package on this show which is totally inspired 100% by the Don and Mike show. But they had this like insanely long music package that they would just talk over and talk over, and every time they introduced someone, they'd play a drop and you know, the different various cast members on the show. And I just absolutely loved it. And this show is very much inspired by that. So just to hear that, we were able to fill that the Don and Mike shaped hole in your heart, Will or ears or wherever is. That's high praise. Now, I have been a lawyer for the federal government for 14 years. But ever since I was little, I wanted to be a doctor when the time came to decide what I wanted to do in College. In my 20s, law school seemed like the easier path. Wow. Will's got to be a pretty, pretty highly intelligent individual. When law school was the backup plan, easy way. I had hoped the desire to be a doctor would wane with time, but it's stronger now than it was in my 20s. Also, the Federal government is on fire. So now at age 43, with a bachelor's and two graduate degrees already, I'm going back to school, taking biology, chemistry and physics. Classes with a view to applying to med school in a few years.
Jeff
My goodness. You want. You see, you talk about. Talk about aging. Not that 43 is old, but it's like, it's never too. It's literally never too late. Especially when you're apparently a genius like Will.
Luke Burbank
Will, I absolutely love this as a person who has considered reinventing themselves. Although my reinvention was going to be take the bar, take the bar exam, and maybe go to law school.
Jeff
My reinvention was going to be go to the bar.
Luke Burbank
Maybe a rebranding if you went to a different bar. I don't know if we can call it reinventing. I love this, Will. I also know somebody, a friend of my parents, a married couple. The wife, she went back to. She went to med school at, like, in her mid or late 40s and became a doctor. And I always. I was.
Jeff
I was.
Luke Burbank
I was maybe in my 20s when I heard about this, but I found it so inspiring. Like, what a cool thing and what a. Like, I just love that. I love not thinking that just because we're any particular age, we then have to stop doing stuff and. And like that there's a window of time in which you go to med school, and if you're too late for that, then just forget about it. Like, this is so cool. By the way, you can follow Will's journey on Blueski. It's called. It's at lawyer tries science. The lawyer tried the science. I'm the lawyer tried the science.
Jeff
I'm on the blue ski now. And I like his avatar. Will's avatar is a little. Just a little simple stick figure, but it says, stand back. I'm going to try science.
Luke Burbank
I love it. Will I succeed or crash and burn? Let's find out together. Also, you might remember that I'm building an airplane in my garage.
Jeff
What?
Luke Burbank
I hope to have it flying later this year. Is Will the most interesting man in the world?
Jeff
I think so. I don't know. Yeah, I don't always go to an.
Luke Burbank
Airplane, but when I did, yeah, he's a lawyer who's building an airplane slash working his way back towards med school.
Jeff
Yeah.
Luke Burbank
Donating to tbtl. We love it, Will. I mean, Godspeed in all of your endeavors and really do keep us post. I'll go follow you on Blue sky right now.
Jeff
And be careful with the airplane.
Luke Burbank
Yeah, seriously. Hello and welcome to Top Story. You know what, Andrew? Speaking of age and sort of, you know, sort of a time elapsing or lapsing. Lapsing. Speaking of things that are old but they still have some pluck in them. I've got a top story for you. This top story has been sitting on the top story page for a long time. I've promoted it a couple of times, and we're finally going to get to it. It is the story of a woman in the greater San Francisco area who went to a vape store and was buying some stuff. Although, by the way, it's. This is Andrew. This is how I know that this story has been on the list for too long. When I tried to go to the link on AB7ABC7 News, it says, page not found.
Jeff
Whoa. Really?
Luke Burbank
Oh, yeah. So let me just quickly find out.
Jeff
The link that you sent me is still working, by the way, the one in today's show sheet, for whatever that's worth.
Luke Burbank
This is the story of a woman named Linda Mathiason or Matheson who went to a vape store in San Bruno, California, which is basically San Francisco. It's where Artichoke Joe's Casino is. Andrew, if you're wondering.
Jeff
Oh, Artichoke Joe's.
Luke Burbank
Yes, yes, yes, exactly. And she has shoulder pain. So she bought some CBD gel to help with her shoulder pain campaign. And she was checking out. The purchase was $129. And she very thoughtfully, by the way, I think, decided that she was going to, you know, I presume is one of those screens, one of those, you know, like a sort of tablets where it offers you a chance to tip. And so she decided that she was going to tip $5 on this purchase at this vape store. By the way, I think that's very generous. Have you ever tipped $5 in an environment like that?
Jeff
No. I mean, this is one of those. And I don't want to shift to the conversation, but this is where some people would say, but, wow, we're just like tipping people just for selling us things, getting stores, you know, like, it's. I guess it is one of those things. It's like, you have to. I've been in vape stores before. I'm not trying to brag about that. You know, we even have tape from Portlandia about kind of how dreary the vibe of a vape store can be.
Luke Burbank
But two toilets. Two toilets.
Jeff
Two plungers.
Luke Burbank
Two plungers. Sorry.
Jeff
I believe that. Like, I don't think you can just wander around, like, if everything is behind cases or whatever, they have to give it to you. Right. So because of that, I guess there's a customer service aspect to it that maybe isn't completely unlike maybe preparing somebody's coffee. But it is kind of interesting. I would not tip. Generally, I tip at weed stores, you know, But I'm always asking them, like, I want this, I want this, I want to feel this way or whatever. And so they're always helping me a lot. So I definitely tip at weed stores, but I don't. I don't know. I wouldn't tip in this kind of environment.
Luke Burbank
Because they're bud tending. Right?
Jeff
That is the term. I've never liked that term. I don't use it. I don't know. I don't agree it.
Luke Burbank
And I'll not dignify.
Jeff
I just don't think that every job like that needs a name like, do the people. Okay, let's go back to my. I don't know if you know this, but I'm kind of a Papa Murphy's head now. When I go pick up the pizza. Like, the people who are making the pizzas, they're also behind a counter and they're also serving me. But we don't have like a special name for them. They're not like pizza tenders. They're people who work at Papa Murphy's.
Luke Burbank
You know, I would say the. Let me make the argument for bud tender if I can.
Jeff
Okay, you can try.
Luke Burbank
It indicates that this person is doing more than just. And I don't want to say that people that are making pizza are only making pizza, although they are. That's what they're doing. They're making a pizza.
Jeff
Pizza artist.
Luke Burbank
The idea that when you go to a weed place, this person is in the way that a bartender might suggest a drink. Hey, I'm in the mood for something fruity or whatever. They might. The bartender. We think that there's a certain skill set there. And I'm guessing that the people that work in the industry of getting, you know, marijuana for people would like. They've got a decent amount of knowledge and they're kind of doing the bartending equivalent of tending to the bud. And speaking of tipping, you do tip this person like you tip a bartender and you probably. Would you tip a person if you didn't call them a bud tender.
Jeff
Well, I don't call them a bud tender, but here's the deal, okay? You've sort of convinced me. If we want to give them a special name, like, I like the term barista, I think that's also nice. But barista is nice.
Luke Burbank
Bartender call them a barista.
Jeff
No, but I'm just saying let's just call them something else. Let's not make it some Sort of tortured portmanteau.
Luke Burbank
Wait, you think Bud Rista is tortured?
Jeff
I was talking about Bud tender.
Luke Burbank
Bud Rista has a nice ring to it.
Jeff
Like, why can't it be its own thing? It's not like barista. They didn't call it a cough tender because they're serving coffee. Like, then come up with something better. Like, I don't know, there's just something like, I've always just thought the term. And again, like, hey, listen, listen. I literally know we have budtenders in the audience. I hear from them sometimes, like, I am not. I'm not putting down the profession. And like you say, I do appreciate. I very much appreciate. I went back to a pot shop a couple of weeks ago. This was a little embarrassing because somebody there had helped me. I was like, I want this, I want this. And she was picking out all this stuff for me. And then I just left and I forgot to tip. I went back, I think the next day.
Luke Burbank
Whoa.
Jeff
I think it was the next day I went back. She wasn't even there. And I just said, listen, somebody was working here and I. And helped me. Spent a lot of time helping me. And I was talking to a Bud Rista yesterday. Yeah, I was talking to a Bud Rista. They said, please leave. So anyway, I don't have to prove myself here. My point is I'm not disrespecting the profession or the fact that I am certainly somebody who has a lot of questions and I appreciate the help they offer. I don't like the term bud tender. I think we can do better as a society.
Luke Burbank
Do you like the term brologarch?
Jeff
I do. Four Bud Tenders.
Luke Burbank
My goal is to work the term brologarch into this Dana White piece.
Jeff
Hey, does that brologarch have a phablet?
Luke Burbank
Is there a Mrs. Broligarch?
Jeff
Okay, that's the show title.
Luke Burbank
All right, let me just do this. I'm gonna play you a little tape that's gonna set the story of what happened to this woman when she went in and she was trying to leave her $5 tip. A five dollar tip that became $5,000. It actually could happen to any of us. Worst case. Well, probably not me in that I don't go into many.
Jeff
Well, but you tape though. I'm sorry, you tip though, rather.
Luke Burbank
Yeah, that's a fair point. That's a fair point for sure.
Andrew Walsh
A good deed that led a local teacher into financial mess.
Luke Burbank
With Wells Fargo and Seven on your side, Stephanie Sierra here with a look at how all this began and where it's going.
Andrew Walsh
Yeah. So bizarre, I can tell you. You know, we all give tips, right? But this situation is arguably the worst I've heard of. Imagine you walk into a store, buy a couple items, and instead of leaving a $5 tip, you later learn some extra zeros were tacked onto your bill. So your $5 tip went to $5,000.
Luke Burbank
This is the original statement.
Andrew Walsh
Linda Matissen struggles with a shoulder issue. She went to a Peninsula vape store to purchase CBD relief gel to ease her pain. Receipts show the total for her items was $129.28. Feeling generous yet short, at the tall checkout stand, she left what she thought was a $5 tip.
Jeff
He says, at enter.
Luke Burbank
By the way, I believe when she says feeling generous but short, she doesn't mean financially. She means literally. This person's physical stature.
Jeff
Yeah.
Luke Burbank
Is such that she couldn't quite see the. The.
Jeff
The.
Luke Burbank
The device properly tip.
Jeff
Well, when I did, there's no decimal point. So I'm like this on my tiptoes. And I pushed. I thought.
Luke Burbank
Which was only two zeros.
Jeff
Ended up being three zeros.
Luke Burbank
I said, wait, I want to delete this. And he said, I don't know how to delete it.
Andrew Walsh
Instead of voiding, the transaction, receipts show the clerk at San Bruno Exotic processed a tip for $5,000.
Luke Burbank
Now, first of all, this is the original sin, right? Like, you're going to hear later on that Wells Fargo is being annoying about it. And you know me, I have no love for these banks. But. But the. I mean, the person. There's got to be a way to. There's got to be a way to cancel the order. Like, and then how could this person who's working at the vape store, in good conscience, how could this. Bud Rista. In good conscience, how could this.
Jeff
Bro. Lista.
Luke Burbank
How could this. How could they allow this? I mean, there's gotta be a way to void the. Void the transaction.
Jeff
And if there's not. So I'm not sure, like I am with you, that maybe if it was their own money, they would have found a way to do it.
Luke Burbank
Sure.
Jeff
But let's just say that the people who run vape shops aren't empowering their employees to the great. I could also see a world where the person literally is like, I don't know, man. You know, Like, I literally don't know how to do this. There should not be a way to tip that much. There should be an automatic. Like, we. You're making a mistake here. You should not be able to tip $5,000 that I know that I've been places before or where. I don't know. I just know that I've heard of this. I learned this phrase from you. The pos, the point of sale machines. I know that they have a way to. Like, at least some of them have a way to say, like, no, you are making a mistake here. You're not allowed to leave a $5,000 tip. That's clearly a mistake.
Luke Burbank
I also feel like the employee, if I can speculate on their motives, and I will, I think they wanted the $5,000. I think that they knew that. That they were good. I mean, they. I mean, that was a windfall for them. They wanted the $5,000 tip. And I don't know what they thought was going to happen, but I just find it highly suspicious that they would not that. And like you said it. Well, Andrew, if it was their money, I promise you, they would have figured out a way to avoid the transaction. There has to be. There has to be a way. What if somebody. What if I buy the CBD gel? They hand it to me, I look at it and I think, and I'm in the middle of paying, and I go, I don't want this anymore. I've changed my mind. You. There has to be a way to just stop the transaction right then and there. I. To me, the only explanation for this employee being kind of like, I don't know how to do that is in the back of their mind, they were like, hey, well, let's let this go through and see what happens. And that's exactly. Well, what happened was it went through and this poor woman got charged $5,000.
Andrew Walsh
Says she pleaded for him to reverse it, but at first he claimed he couldn't, then told her he never received the money. But that's not what Linda's bank statements showed.
Jeff
He never erased it, Nothing.
Andrew Walsh
Leaving Linda in a state of panic. She's a special education teacher living on a fixed income.
Luke Burbank
One of those Wall street fat cats.
Jeff
Yeah, who would ever like $5,000?
Luke Burbank
I don't have that kind of money.
Andrew Walsh
How many times have you reached out to Wells Fargo?
Luke Burbank
20, 22 times.
Jeff
Each time is about two hours.
Andrew Walsh
Linda tried to dispute the transaction the day this all happened. After dozens of attempts to reach reach Wells Fargo, she says the bank did nothing. It wasn't until records show eight months later, Wells Fargo tried to close the case, saying too much time had passed.
Luke Burbank
So in other words, if I understand that right, Wells Fargo is closing the case and still charging her the $5,000.
Jeff
This is like the nightmare of customer service when you can't get through to somebody and they're just like, no.
Luke Burbank
They tell you you missed the window.
Jeff
Yeah. And like, you just. You've tried 22 times to reach them. This is a huge m. This is five grand. This isn't a, let's say, $13 extra garbage fee that has been tacked here. This is $5,000. All of these banks have these protections, and they're just simply not letting you get through the call, you know, the menu tree or whatever it is. And then, like, you just can't get through. Can't get through until the time runs out. And then they say, we can't help you. You should have filed. Yeah. You didn't file 30 days. It's literally criminal. But it's also Wells Fargo who are. Are literally criminal. Like, they. I mean, I don't understand why this bank is still allowed to exist after, like, what was the huge scandal where they were just signing their customers up for shit that they didn't. Like, banking accounts that they didn't even sign. There was a huge scandal that they just, like, I guess, were fine. What happened? Like, were they fined? Like, I mean, this company is just.
Luke Burbank
They didn't take their World Series away, which they should have.
Jeff
Yeah. Well, there should at least be an.
Luke Burbank
Asterisk explaining to my mom why we especially hate the Houston Astros. Yes.
Jeff
Yeah.
Luke Burbank
And she was like, they. They let them keep the World Series. I go, yeah, yeah. It's crazy.
Jeff
Yeah. And nobody was. Nobody was punished anyway. Yeah. No, I hate Wells Fargo. It's. This is just fury. This is your. And then when your last thing you can do is. Is go to the news, because the news will then publicly shame them. You shouldn't have to do that.
Luke Burbank
Yeah. I wonder if we'll get an update on this, because again, as I mentioned at the top, this is a pretty old story. This is from June 4th. I wonder if, you know, I mean, Wells Fargo is also a huge. It's one thing if you had like a. If you got a bad. Some bad, you know, teriyaki somewhere, and they won't, I don't know, make it right. And then you tell the local news, teriyaki shop is going to give you a free vega teriyaki. I don't know why I picked that example. It's kind of weird. But anyway, Wells Fargo is so enormous, I don't know if they care that, you know, seven on your side, the San Francisco ABC affiliate is doing a thing like this. This, but I mean, this is, I guess not exactly related to my, my, the, the, my, my harangue that I get to so often on this show is that basically these companies, particularly banks, are always telling you that you're, they're, they're making it hard for you to get your money or they're turning your card off or they're fraud alerting your card and they're telling you that they're protecting your money. And what I always say is they're actually protecting their money because it's FDIC insured. And if your car, if there's fraud on your card, you don't have to pay for it. That's one of the reasons that you let the bank keep your money and make money on interest, make money off of your money. So for the convenience and the safety of things like that. And I get really annoyed when they're, which is to say the fdic, which is why I get so annoyed when they try to act like they're protecting me. I feel like they're protecting themselves. This, I guess, is, to the side of this is just bad customer service, right?
Jeff
Yeah. And I will say, and like, I know you have your theory on that, but I'll just say from my own real world experience, there have been times with a couple of different banks where they have stopped bad things from happening. And maybe you again think that they shouldn't. But like, I, it wasn't all that long ago, Vivian. I both had issues with something and I'll just say it was Citibank. And I have found the people at Citibank are amazing. First of all, they contacted us. Looks like unusual activity. They sort of kind of cleared some of it away, but then it sort of continued. So somebody got on the phone with me one time and like literally went through like my last 20 training transactions. Like, was this a real one? What about this one? What about this subscription to Dazn? Was this you subscribing to paper? And I was like, that's Kamara, Kev. But like somebody had somehow gotten a hold of my number and like they took the time to go line by line and sort of figure out and triangulate which one. First of all, they took off all of the, you know, false ones and then also like issued me the new card and everything. This is unrelated to your complaint, but I just got to give this woman a shout out too. I can't believe this didn't make it onto tbt. I'm not going to extend the show by telling you all the Ins and outs of this right now. But as part of my, as part of my journey of trying not to use Amazon as much, there was one thing that I needed. I'm like, well, Walmart, I know they're a huge company that also puts small retailers out of business, but they don't have the Bezos issue.
Luke Burbank
You know what they are? Walmart is the George W. Bush.
Jeff
Yes.
Luke Burbank
Of retail.
Jeff
We used to be so mad at them, them.
Luke Burbank
And now we're like, well, they're kind of the good guy.
Jeff
They let people sleep in their RVs in their parking lot.
Luke Burbank
Like, you know, we'll take them over the, the current alternative.
Jeff
Exactly. And so anyway, I'm like, and I tried, so I tried to buy this very specific filter on, on Walmart.com and they. My card was rejected. I think I, it might have been my fault the first time. Typo or something. Then I put it in again and then I just had this thing, it was late at night when I first went to buy it and I got a warning like, hey, this didn't go through. Your order's been canceled immediately. And so the next day I think I called them, they said there might be a hold on your card or something. So first I called the bank and I'm like, there must be something wrong with my card. And I get this woman who was like the chillest, most helpful customer rep I've ever had in my life. This is again Citibank. I call up, I'm like, I had this weird thing with Walmart. They like kind of rejected my card and they say there may be a 10 day hold on it now or something. She's like, no, I see that this thing was canceled. That's canceled on their end. Like you look good on our end. I'm like, okay. I'm like, so I should call them. She's like, yeah, I guess you could call them. She's like, but you got me on the line right now. Why don't you just try ordering it again? I'm like, well, I don't want to waste your time. She's like, I got. This is my job. I think she literally said, this is my job. Just go ahead, just try ordering again. I'll watch it come through and we'll see what happens. I'm like, all right. So I'm like calling up the Walmart website, I'm rebuying it. She's like, oh, yeah, there it went through. Oh, they just canceled it again.
Luke Burbank
Again.
Jeff
But I just loved this woman's patience with me and so anyway, I think there are some good experiences and some bad. By the way, Walmart's customer service was terrible. They kept, I was on the phone with them forever. I never got the thing. I think I ended up being a little bit b wordy towards them and so I think that it was a little burbanky towards them. It was like a Kafka esque nightmare trying to get unlike flagged and eventually I'm not going to buy anything from Walmart again. They were incredibly unhelpful. They never resolved my issue. It was an absolute nightmare. But the bank people were amazing.
Luke Burbank
Yes. I just, the thing is, I agree with you that if they catch somebody misusing your card early, it just makes the ha. It lowers the hassle in your life and obviously they'll put that money back in your account more quickly. It could be a really bad thing if you had, let's say $3,000 in your checking account, it was all the money you had and then it was all drained and then you had to go through the process of trying to prove that it wasn't you. That could be a really bad couple of weeks of your life. So I will admit to the convenience factor. I would still say fundamentally you're gonna get your money back. And I think that they flag things quickly because it costs them more time and money the longer it goes on. I still think that they're covering their backside as much as helping you out. But yeah, in this case it's like for all of their, you know, like for all the things that Wells Fargo does flag. They didn't flag a $5,000 tip at a vape shop.
Jeff
Right. And again, this is Wells Fargo. I have no ide what their customer service is like. And again, I can't guarantee you, but like, with my personal experience, I feel like if I had an issue like this with, I'm just going to use Citibank again because that happened to be the one that I've been on the phone with recently. I just know they would have taken care of it, you know what I mean? Like, I called them one time, I was buying tickets. Airplane. No, no, I remember that time I told you I was going to Arizona and I rented a car. But then I had a freak out because it was like some sort of fly by night car rental place that didn't really exist except for in the ether. And then I read all of these like, like nightmare scenarios about them after I'd booked it and like I called the bank and again they were like, yeah, we can Just, like, put a block on that. If it's not actually canceled, but just give it 24 hours. I just sort of feel like. And that was, like, late at night. I just sort of feel like my. The bank that I use is, like, they answer the phone and they help me. I really think that. I don't think they all are that. And I'm not trying to stand up for, like, these huge corporations, but I honestly think something is fundamentally evil about Wells Fargo ago. Like, this is evil for them not to have an easy way for you to. To stop payment on an accidental $5,000 charge.
Luke Burbank
I just don't understand how that can even happen. Like, you, they. I mean, how could it be that you, like, the day of or the day after, you send them an email or you do whatever the process is to say this is a erroneous charge, and they just don't respond.
Jeff
Right. And, like, you can tell that it is. I bought something that was. What was her bill? $26 or something. And. No, 120 or $120. Well, obviously, I mean, there could not be a more obvious mistake. And you're at some shitty vape shop that has a, you know, janky point of service computer. And, like, it's. It's obvious. This, as you can tell, this story really infuriates me.
Luke Burbank
Yeah. No, I mean, it. This is why I probably will never enter a vape shop, just to be fair.
Jeff
This is. This is why.
Luke Burbank
This is the reason going forward. So anyway, hopefully this woman will get some relief on this and, Yeah, I will. I'll set up a Google alert to see if she gets her money back. I mean, she. I guess what she'd have to do eventually is just literally get a lawyer and sue them and then also have her legal fees covered. But again, the other thing she says at the end of the story won't play. The whole thing is she has a kid that's graduating, I think, from high school, and she's like, I don't have any money to buy my kid a graduation present because I'm paying the interest on this $5,000.
Jeff
Well, you did see here it says seven on your side. Reached out to Wells Fargo for further comment. The bank quickly responded to Matheson after that, vowing to ref the $5,000.
Luke Burbank
Oh, nice. I didn't see that.
Jeff
Yeah. So this is. So this is my kind of last point on this. Like, you and I have sort of. You know, I think we've both sort of joked around about the. Get Jesse here in Seattle or the role that these, like, seven on your sides in a certain way. Like, it's. So. It's like kind of an easily kind of mockable trope in local news. But also, as these companies have fewer and fewer checks and balances or people like that, you can turn to, like, and of course, get. Jesse is no longer, you know, no longer has his segment here. Like, I. And in a certain way, this is also a story about the importance of local news, even for these, like, small, almost like, you know, kind of petty court type of situations. Like, where are we supposed to turn anymore? You're not going to, like, hire a lawyer for five grand. That way lies madness. And probably more of a loss of money going up against Wells Fargo. It's ridiculous. The only way you can get anybody to listen to you is if you have some. Some snooping reporter on your side.
Luke Burbank
I'll tell you, you, because I'm hot with my analogies today, getting the local TV to cover or get you some sort of justice is the GoFundMe. Yeah. Of customer service, because that's where we've offloaded all of the health care costs now.
Jeff
Exactly.
Luke Burbank
It's like, you got to go to GoFundMe and try to get people to donate money to help you get healthcare. That should be a basic human right.
Jeff
Yeah, exactly. There's somebody I. Somebody I follow who's a Mariners commentator, and I watch his postgame podcast, and it's not Luke Arkins. You just settle down with your defenses.
Luke Burbank
Of Julio to start. I'm going to. I think I can probably change how my emails show up in your email. I'm just going to start sending you unhinged emails from Luke Ark. Yes. Keep you on your toes.
Jeff
But anyway, yeah, like, he's a guy that I just know because I like his baseball analysis after Mariners games, and then I follow him on Blue sky, and I saw that he's like, dude, I really hate doing this. He's posting something on Blue Ski that just basically said, I, you know, I've had. I didn't realize this, but he's had health issues his whole life, and he's like, I now realize I now need this, like, you know, like, regular procedure once a month that costs thousands and thousands of dollars. I'm a freelance writer and I don't have insurance, and I can't. And they often begin with like, I can't tell you how much I don't want to be asking for this. I do not want to be doing this. And I'm just like, how Is this the world? How is this somebody that I don't know but I like just, I guess you would say I'm a fan of. And they have to turn to us to say, hey, listen, literally, he said, I hate doing this, but I kind of want to keep living. So, like, are you going to do.
Luke Burbank
Yeah, no, but I mean, nobody is excited about the prospects of needing to kind of go to the, you know, the public if, as it were to say, like, I need YouTube, if you can give me some money so I can stay alive. Like, that is the absolute. That's plan Z for everyone. And there are so many people that are now at that point. I mean, it's just, it's just, it's remarkable. I will say that it was. I was very inspired by the no King, you know, protest demonstrations that were going on around all over and, and that kind of put some wind in my sails. I was really hoping for a major thunderstorm in D.C. at exactly the wrong time. We didn't quite get that, but I did see, I mean, here's the thing. TikTok has figured out that the only thing that soothes my savage soul is tick tockers roasting Trump. But I don't know if I can believe it or not. You know what I mean? So I'm get these tiktokers that are. They're sort of hyper partisan. Their whole niche on TikTok is like, basically like telling people like me that things went really badly for Donald Trump.
Jeff
Right, right.
Luke Burbank
In whatever particular moment we're talking about. So they're just like trying to basically show that the DC crowd size for this birthday parade of his were really, really shitty. And I'm like, I don't actually know if I believe these people, but I'm choosing to believe this.
Jeff
Yeah, it's funny, I was sort of having a similar thought that I don't know if this is a good place to end the show, honestly. But, um, like, I was sort of wondering how all of this would kind of, well, affect me, I guess, sort of like not to. You mean the parade, the protests, like, kind of everything. I was kind of like, oh, will this affect, you know, will the protest spill over into Sunday? Will this affect public transportation? Like, well, I know it sounds like a weird, selfish thing, but I was just sort of like, kind of just wondering about this. And then I started wondering, like, you know, I have people in my life who have very different news sources than I do, and I would say, say because of that, have very different outlook on life than I do. And I'm like, what are they seeing? Because all I'm seeing is news about the parade. I'm sorry, news about the protests. And I read the local paper, I read some news sources and then I see stuff on Blueski. That's basically my only social media these days. But I'm like, I think there are other people in my life who probably don't know. And I'm like, I have seen nothing about this parade. I saw people making fun of it leading up to it, but I saw zero coverage of it because I don't watch the 6 o' clock or 11 o' clock news. I don't. And there's nothing, because I'm a kid, there's nothing being fed to me in my algorithms about it, except a few kind of dunking ons, you know, a few people saying, I'm here and it's pathetic or whatever. But for the most part, it was just like the only news I knew about on Saturday were these no Kings protests held and anti ice protests, like all over the country. That's all I was being fed. And it occurred to me, oh, I think there are people in my life who are having the exact opposite experience. They might not even be that aware of the protests except to the degree that they're being drummed up as like, violence or, you know, well, that's fake violence, but everything. They probably know a whole bunch about this parade that happened in D.C. that I almost kind of forgot was happening.
Luke Burbank
I was on this weird. I was in this weird mood yesterday where I was really trying to figure out which narrative was winning. And so I even actually went to the Fox News website, which I rarely do, but, like, I was basically curious to see what they were covering. And you know what, you know what, as of like 4:00 Times, and even Fox News. Their top story was, their main story was the manhunt in Minnesota for that person who killed those. The. The lawmaker. Yeah, in. And her husband. I think in Minnesota that was dominating everything. And then even in Fox News, it was like the sixth story down was like military parade, military birthday parade or whatever. So I guess I was kind of, in a way, I was. Of course, what I wanted the narrative to be yesterday was no one showed up for this Trump birthday. And by the way, millions turned out into the streets to protest him. That was my dream scenario. What it really ended up being was mostly coverage of the thing that had happened in Minnesota and then, then a mention of no kings. And then what really did not seem to get very much attention anywhere was the military parade. Was the birthday parade, like, for better or for worse? It almost seemed like people were not really talking about that much. Even Fox News wasn't, like, lead. It wasn't the COVID of their website in, like, triumphant military celebration or whatever.
Jeff
Yeah, that's actually really surprising to me, and I'm sure I would have some nits to pick about some of the coverage that Fox presented regarding the tragedies in Minnesota. But, like, I am actually kind of. I'm very happy to hear that they were covering it. That. That it was, like, by far and away the main story as well it should be. Right.
Luke Burbank
Yeah, maybe. Maybe this evolved throughout the night or whatever. But there was. I was struck by how little coverage it was getting until I started looking at Tik Tok. And then it was just people telling me what I wanted to hear, which was that Trump was very embarrassed.
Jeff
Right. Put it in my veins.
Luke Burbank
Yeah, exactly. So, all right, well, that's good. You know what?
Jeff
We.
Luke Burbank
We were. We were getting a little. The negativity train was running, but then we were able to get the nose up on the negativity train by talking about Trump being embarrassed whether or not it's true.
Jeff
Right. And me saluting Fox News for their. For their journalistic integrity.
Luke Burbank
Exactly. All right, that's gonna do it for today's episode of tbtl, but we will be back here tomorrow with more of this imaginary radio for all of you. So if you can, please come join us for that. In the meantime, have a great Monday day. Take care of yourselves, and please remember, no mountain too tall.
Jeff
And good luck to all.
Andrew Walsh
Power out.
Podcast Summary: TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live – Episode #4489 "Is There A Mrs. Broligarch?"
Release Date: June 16, 2025
Hosts: Luke Burbank and Jeff (Andrew Walsh is mentioned but plays a minor role in this episode)
In Episode #4489 titled "Is There A Mrs. Broligarch?" of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live, hosts Luke Burbank and Jeff delve into a mix of personal anecdotes, societal observations, and a compelling main story that highlights issues within customer service and banking.
Notable Quote:
Luke begins by sharing his recent frustrations with maintaining his yard. Despite his efforts to keep it tidy, unexpected changes while he's away present him with new projects upon his return. Alongside this, Jeff recounts his weekend involving baseball, digitizing old VHS tapes, and enjoying a Mariners game with friends.
Notable Quotes:
A significant portion of the episode revolves around aging gracefully. Luke shares a heartfelt conversation with his mother about accepting physical changes over time. This leads to humorous exchanges about their appearances and mutual candidness.
Notable Quotes:
The centerpiece of the episode is a gripping real-life story about Linda Mathiason, a special education teacher who accidentally tipped $5,000 instead of $5 at a vape store. The incident not only caused financial strain but also exposed flaws in banking customer service, particularly with Wells Fargo's handling of the dispute.
Key Points:
Notable Quotes:
Following Linda's story, Luke and Jeff express their frustration with Wells Fargo’s inadequate response to her predicament. They compare their personal positive experiences with other banks like Citibank, emphasizing the need for better customer support systems.
Notable Quotes:
The conversation shifts to a lighter topic as Jeff and Luke discuss their obsession with high-quality water bottles. They debate the merits of different brands, touching on environmental concerns and personal preferences.
Notable Quotes:
Towards the end, Luke and Jeff discuss local events, including a military birthday parade and related protests. They critique the media's coverage of these events, particularly noting the lack of focus on certain narratives in mainstream outlets like Fox News.
Notable Quotes:
In wrapping up, the hosts emphasize the importance of community support and humor in navigating life's challenges. They encourage listeners to stay hydrated, cherish joyful relationships, and continue supporting the show.
Notable Quotes:
Customer Service Failures: The episode highlights significant shortcomings in banking customer service, using Linda's $5,000 tip mishap as a case study.
Personal Growth and Aging: Luke and Jeff explore personal struggles and societal pressures related to aging, offering both humor and heartfelt reflections.
Community and Support: Emphasizing the value of community, the hosts encourage listeners to support each other and the show, showcasing the importance of collective resilience.
Media Critique: A critical look at how mainstream media covers (or fails to cover) significant local events, urging listeners to seek diverse information sources.
Episode Highlights:
Yard Maintenance Woes: Luke shares his ongoing battle to maintain his yard, only to return to more work after a week away.
Miracle Marathon Tips Gone Wrong: Linda's accidental $5,000 tip and the ensuing struggle with Wells Fargo's customer service.
Aging Gracefully: Hosts discuss their parents' perspectives on aging, blending humor with emotional insights.
Hydration and Lifestyle Choices: A light-hearted debate on the best water bottles and their impact on daily routines.
Media Representation of Local Events: Analysis of media coverage on military parades and political protests, questioning the narratives presented.
Final Note:
Episode #4489 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live masterfully intertwines personal stories with broader societal issues, all while maintaining the hosts' characteristic humor and camaraderie. Whether discussing the trials of maintaining a yard, the frustrations of banking mishaps, or the nuances of aging, Luke and Jeff provide listeners with a relatable and engaging experience.