#4491 The Separation Of Todd And State

Summary

Title: TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live
Episode: #4491 The Separation Of Todd And State
Release Date: June 18, 2025
Hosts: Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh

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Introduction

In episode #4491 titled "The Separation Of Todd And State," hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh embark on their usual blend of humor, nostalgia, and insightful conversations. The episode kicks off with playful banter, setting the tone for a day filled with varied topics ranging from childhood memories to upcoming high-profile interviews.

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1. Hosts' Banter and Dreams

The episode opens with Luke offering drinks, leading to a humorous exchange about non-alcoholic beverages and accidental mishaps.

Notable Quotes:

• Luke Burbank [00:02]: "Can I start you gentlemen with something to drink? Oh, here we go."
• Andrew Walsh [04:23]: "Sounds like a stress dream."

The hosts delve into their recent dreams, sharing lighthearted and quirky stories that highlight their camaraderie and ability to find humor in everyday moments.

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2. Early Childhood Memories: Buff Club and Kids Day

Luke reminisces about his youth, detailing the formation of the "Buff Club" with his friend Peter. Their ambitious yet short-lived attempts at getting fit paint a vivid picture of teenage enthusiasm and friendship.

Notable Discussion Points:

• Formation of the Buff Club: An initiative in ninth grade aimed at building muscle and camaraderie, though it lasted only one meeting.
• Kids Day at Seattle Center: A cherished childhood event featuring unlimited rides at Fun Forest, fostering a sense of community and joy.

Notable Quotes:

• Luke Burbank [11:21]: "We probably combined, I would say, in about maybe in ninth grade. Combined, we might have weighed 160 pounds."
• Andrew Walsh [29:09]: "She doesn't know. She's on the record, by the way, but she'll find out later today."

Luke shares a personal anecdote about a childhood fight that led to consequences, illustrating the challenges of youthful conflicts and their lasting memories.

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3. Movie Discussions: "Cobra", "Warriors", "Zoolander", and "Mystery Men"

The conversation shifts to favorite movies, with a focus on Sylvester Stallone's "Cobra" and the cult classic "The Warriors." The hosts analyze iconic scenes, memorable quotes, and the cultural impact of these films.

Notable Discussion Points:

• "Cobra" (1986): Luke humorously critiques the protagonist’s actions, blending movie plot with personal humor.
• "The Warriors": An exploration of the Baseball Furies gang, drawing parallels to real-life sports rivalries.
• "Zoolander" vs. "Mystery Men": Andrew expresses a preference for "Mystery Men," while Luke reflects on the comedic elements of "Zoolander."

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Walsh [15:08]: "Society is breeding a new kind of criminal. It's also breeding a new kind of cop. Meet Cobra. He does the job nobody wants."
• Luke Burbank [17:12]: "If one of us has a case and it happens to get to the King County Superior Court level and we happen to get Judge Todd as our judge, I'm personally not going to complain."

The hosts infuse their discussion with humor and personal insights, making the analysis both entertaining and relatable.

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4. Sports Talk: Yankees and Fan Base Psychology

Luke and Andrew delve into the psychology of sports fandom, specifically focusing on the New York Yankees. They discuss the relentless success of the team, the resulting fan expectations, and the emotional rollercoaster that comes with being a dedicated supporter.

Notable Discussion Points:

• John Sklarov's Admiration: Reflecting on mutual acquaintances who admire the Yankees’ financial prowess and consistent performance.
• Fan Emotions: Exploring how success and occasional failures shape the emotional landscape of fans.

Notable Quotes:

• Luke Burbank [23:03]: "And I was, like, mad at him in retrospect, which is totally unfair to John."
• Andrew Walsh [24:52]: "And, and that, and that they just are sort of always getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop."

The conversation highlights the deep-seated emotions tied to sports, emphasizing the universal experience of hope, disappointment, and unwavering support.

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5. Dazzling Donors: Sarah Hernandez and Ravenna Lux

A heartfelt segment acknowledges Sarah Hernandez from Portland, Oregon, as a dazzling donor who supports the podcast. Luke and Andrew express their gratitude, celebrate her contributions, and promote her musical project, Ravenna Lux.

Notable Quotes:

• Luke Burbank [37:10]: "What up, Sarah? Hello to my favorite dummies..."
• Andrew Walsh [39:11]: "Yes. We'll do that at the end of the show."
• Luke Burbank [38:32]: "And Sarah, thank you so much for supporting tbtl. It really means a lot to us, and we truly couldn't do this without you. You. Thank you, Maestro."

The segment underscores the importance of community support and fosters a connection between the hosts and their listeners.

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6. Upcoming Interview with William Shatner and Neil deGrasse Tyson

Luke shares his anticipation and nervousness about an upcoming interview with William Shatner and Neil deGrasse Tyson. The hosts discuss strategies for navigating the dynamics between the two high-profile guests, considering their distinct personalities and expertise.

Notable Discussion Points:

• William Shatner's Interview Style: Luke speculates on Shatner’s humorous and possibly confrontational demeanor, drawing from past interactions.
• Neil deGrasse Tyson's Expertise: Highlighting Tyson’s profound knowledge in astronomy and the potential for insightful discussions.
• Interview Strategies: Brainstorming questions that balance depth and accessibility for listeners unfamiliar with the guests.

Notable Quotes:

• Luke Burbank [36:36]: "Or freak you out."
• Andrew Walsh [53:06]: "That, I'll tell you, Andrew, is a great question that's been posed on this show a lot lately."

The hosts showcase their thoughtful approach to interviewing, aiming to provide valuable content while managing personal apprehensions.

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7. Closing Remarks and Final Banter

As the episode winds down, Luke and Andrew engage in their signature playful banter, expressing optimism for the upcoming interview and extending well-wishes to their audience. They emphasize the importance of listener support and hint at future content, maintaining the show’s engaging and personable atmosphere.

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Walsh [64:07]: "Yeah, it's not a jinx. Maybe you should say, go Mariners again today."
• Luke Burbank [64:29]: "So please do join us for that. In the meantime, everybody, have a great Wednesday... And no mountain too tall."

The hosts leave their audience with a sense of camaraderie and anticipation for future episodes, reinforcing the community-centric nature of the podcast.

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Conclusion

Episode #4491 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live masterfully balances humor, nostalgia, and thoughtful discussion. From reflecting on childhood exploits and dissecting cult classic films to preparing for interviews with iconic figures like William Shatner and Neil deGrasse Tyson, Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh create an engaging narrative that resonates with both long-time listeners and newcomers alike. Their ability to intertwine personal anecdotes with broader cultural conversations underscores the show's enduring appeal and the strong bond between the hosts and their audience.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Luke Burbank [00:02]: "Can I start you gentlemen with something to drink? Oh, here we go."
• Andrew Walsh [04:23]: "Sounds like a stress dream."
• Luke Burbank [11:21]: "We probably combined, I would say, in about maybe in ninth grade. Combined, we might have weighed 160 pounds."
• Andrew Walsh [15:08]: "Society is breeding a new kind of criminal. It's also breeding a new kind of cop. Meet Cobra. He does the job nobody wants."
• Andrew Walsh [24:52]: "And, and that, and that they just are sort of always getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop."
• Luke Burbank [28:36]: "I got kicked off of crossing guard duty for that, which kind of sucked."

These quotes encapsulate the essence of the episode, highlighting the hosts' humor, personal reflections, and insightful commentary.

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Enjoyed this summary? Tune in to episode #4491 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live for more engaging conversations and laughs with Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh!

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

Can I start you gentlemen with something to drink? Oh, here we go.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm good with just water. You sure?

[Luke Burbank]

The bar is everything.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, no, no, thanks.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't drink. Do you mind if we drink? No, no, no, of course not.

[Andrew Walsh]

I almost started tearing. Oh, my God.

[Luke Burbank]

I free the crap my pants.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm like, oh, no.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, what am I gon. I'll have a double bourbon into burners. I have a giant glass boot filled with beer. I'm sorry, we don't have that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, then your bar doesn't have everything. Tbtl.

[Luke Burbank]

Daddy's here and Daddy is gonna take care of you. Please don't refer to yourself as our daddy. I am your big daddy. And I am gonna kiss da boo. Boo. Are you all afraid?

[Andrew Walsh]

No.

[Luke Burbank]

Daddy's here for you, my widow. Angels. I don' what you did or didn't do. But I do know that I can't know what you know or you don't know. You know. I know, okay?

[Andrew Walsh]

I know what you're feeling, and it's fear. But not fear of failure, fear of opportunity.

[Luke Burbank]

This is the real thing. This is the necessary art of our time. This needs respect. I see you exhaling, sir. We're gonna be with you in just a moment. You've gotta be patient. Okay? We're very, very sorry. Our apology. We apologize to you. You will not have to wait that much. Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Wednesday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

[Andrew Walsh]

We're getting medium play on three independent radio stations in Central Europe.

[Luke Burbank]

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm a professional. Look it up in the book.

[Luke Burbank]

Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio perched high above the mighty Columbia, where it is raining on June 18th.

[Andrew Walsh]

Didn't know you like to get wet, though.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, come on. That is. That's rude. I guess we do, you know, always use the rain. That's what they tell us anyway. I don't know if that's just big rain trying to mind control us, but if you live in the Pacific Northwest, even though it rains a lot, you're also reminded, well, we need the rain. We always need the rain out here, apparently. You know, people really need. They need episode 4000, 491 in a collector's series of TBTL.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let the fun begin.

[Luke Burbank]

And that is what we are going to bring you today. Now, I'm in a little bit of a tight time crunch today, recording the show, because when we are done, I'm going to jump in my car and I'm going to speed north to Seattle where I'm going to sit down and interview Bill Shatner Spock sabotage the system. And I'm. I wouldn't. I'm. Here's how I'll put it. I would not say this is the most confident I've ever been going into an interview. So we will probably talk about that. Also carried over from yesterday, the topic of condiments and the condiments that need to be put in the refrigerator and those that are. Okay, not in the refrigerator. Frisiator. Fridge. Fridge. Your frigiator. So we'll try to get to that as well. We'll definitely get to this guy. He is the longest running cobra of the show. Maybe best known for his depictions of. Of the tall ships. Also, though, believe it or not, I'm a complete catch. Sure is. He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning. I'm discombobulated. I don't know what's happened. We did a sound check and all of the, all of the drops were great levels and now they were all too loud and I apologize. I'm hoping in. I'm hoping in post it'll all smash out. I'm just. It's one of those things when I'm at this stage of the show, I'm coming in hot, obviously. Yeah. When I'm at this stage of the show, everything sounds wrong to me. And I'm always like, I can't get these levels right. I always have this internal.

[Luke Burbank]

Sounds like a stress dream.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is almost like that ever at the beginning of every show. And then we get to the end of the show, I do a little compression on the file. I do this, I do that, I zing, I zang.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

And then I've never gone back. I mean, it's very rare. I shouldn't say never, but it's very rare that I go back even immediately after the show and think, God, those levels are all out of whack. So I'm assuming it's all going to come out in the wash, but in case it doesn't, I think I need to get that off my chest. I do feel like I'm living in a stress dream right now.

[Luke Burbank]

I had a stress dream the other day and I think it involved our friend Leni and the comedian Hari Kondabolu. And the dream was for some reason, Hari Kondabalu and I were like in a car together that Hari was driving and we were going to.

[Andrew Walsh]

I apologize profusely. You look like a dreamcatcher came to life. We do have protocol around here, Luke. We have to. We cannot absolutely dream talk about this.

[Luke Burbank]

Honestly. It would be an insult to me as the person telling a tricky that no one wants to hear about if we did it. Follow the steps.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sure. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

There's a laminated list of things that have to happen on the show. If one of us is talking about.

[Andrew Walsh]

Our video, don't make me tap the sign again, as they say.

[Luke Burbank]

So it was just that Hari and I were. For some reason, it was like he was sort of my guide or something in that he was driving. I was riding along with him. And the plan was we were supposed to go to a certain. Like, I don't know if it was a comedy or music festival, but it was one where I was going to be hosting it, like. Or something. I was. I was gonna be, like, the person going out and maybe introducing the axe or something. Also, somehow, weirdly, in this dream, I was going to sing a song at this thing, this festival, but instead, we. We could not find our way to that festival. And so we went to this other, different festival where. And the whole time I was thinking, I'm, like, looking at my watch. I'm thinking, okay, the other festival is starting at any moment, and I don't know how to get to the other festival. And they're going to be, like, looking for me. But then somehow, I was at the. The wrong festival where our friend Leanie was one of the musicians, our friend, prom queen. And so then they asked me to go up and introduce a series of acts, including Celine. And I was like, well, okay, I know Celine, so this will be pretty easy. But the whole time, I was super stressed out because there was a different festival, comedy music festival, somewhere else that I was supposed to be hosting that I could not get to. And Hari was like, zero help. He just kept saying, yeah, traffic or something. And then. And then I woke up.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's the.

[Luke Burbank]

That's the power out on that one.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I also. You look like a dreamcatcher came to life. I love.

[Luke Burbank]

We're getting the whole. Life's rich pageantry. Life's rich pageantry of different dream themes here on the show today.

[Andrew Walsh]

We're using all slash, both of them. I had a dream that I didn't remember until later on in the day. This is a couple of days ago. And don't worry, this is not a narrative arc. This is a short story. I was in the house irl in Real life is what that means post dream. And I was looking around for something. I can't remember what it was, but it was something related to. It was an office supply I was looking for. For in real life. And I suddenly remembered that night I had a dream where I was obsessed with finding a mini stapler. Luke, that's it. There is nothing else. I wasn't going to a festival. I wasn't getting kicked out of a festival. I wasn't introducing anybody. I just. I love it when I'm going about my day and I'm not thinking about dreams at all. And then something reminds me of a dream that I had woken up from a day or two days earlier and I'm like, damn, did I ever find that mini stapler? It had to be a mini stapler, Luke. It had to fit in my pocket. For some reason. Reasons I still don't understand. I needed. Is that a mini stapler? Yeah, I think I had one as a kid. They're like tiny, you know, they're like real tiny.

[Luke Burbank]

But did they use regular size staples?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, they use mini staples, Lou.

[Luke Burbank]

So there's a whole shadow industry of mini staples being made for mini staples.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, there was at one time. I don't know if you know this, but the Internet changed everything. And so we do live in a more. I wouldn't say a pace society, but a society that has less paper than it did when I was growing up. I mean, that was the thing about being a kid in our generation is school supplies were all. Were like often office supplies as well. Right. Like you had the little. You could get your Trapper Keeper and the stuff that was made specifically for kids. But you also just had to have practical things like a stapler. Which is why I still have like this Soviet block era metal industrial stapler in here that I've got one as a kid.

[Luke Burbank]

I like yours. That one is that thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, yours is. Yours looks more beautiful. Yours is more. Is that my recreation?

[Luke Burbank]

I'm sure it was. I think it's actually made by the Staples company, which is, I guess would make sense. But you know, what I've got inside is a fancy Japanese handheld stapler that's like.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a grip.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

And it doesn't.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's not like made to sit on a desktop the way the ones.

[Luke Burbank]

No, you hold it in your hand like, you know, and then you just. But I, of course, I bought it in a, you know, one of my normal kind of moments of, I don't know, just thinking, oh, That's a really good way to staple. That's a cool looking object. And have I ever used it, Andrew? I don't think so. I mean, I don't do that much stapling in my regular life anymore. It turns out, like I don't need two different staplers.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, you're somebody who actually does lean into the printing lifestyle. I mean, that's a trope on the show for a long time that I had a question for you. Oh, yes. I feel like I either know this about you because you've told me this before or because it just fits in with how I picture you as a young man or a young person, maybe even in boyhood. But were you a kid who had one of those springy grip things that you would like sort of squeeze in your hand to build your grip muscles? Yeah, to get buff. I can sort of see you thinking like, this is my key to being a tough guy.

[Luke Burbank]

I think first of all, it turns out that we have spent enough time, we've done our 10,000 hours, Andrew. So that you do have a very, very good sense of the kind of kid I was.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

I could absolutely have seen myself getting into that. I don't think I had access to one of those. I think I was the kind of kid though, like if I was in Peter Williams's basement and maybe his mom Diane had something like that from some sort of a Jane Fonda esque kind of workout phase that many, you know, sort of housewives and the like were going through in the 80s. I would have absolutely picked it up and I would have absolutely, you know, tried it out. But I do remember a thing where I had a, some kind of a ball. Like it was just like a rubber ball of some kind. But I remember somewhere reading about, like, if you squeeze this a thousand times a day, it will help your grip strength. And I do remember doing that. Not the device that you described, but something else. And I was always, even in those days thinking I was, was talking with my family over the weekend about Green Lake, which is like near where I grew up, and, and all the cool stuff there. And the fact that there's that area of Green Lake that has the kind of those big bleachers, those big.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh yeah, actually right on the lake there. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And that used to be the Aqua Follies. They used to have these like, used to buy tickets and go to the show and there'd be like people doing dives and doing all kinds of, you know, water related cool tricks. But what I remember about that Place was. That was where Peter and I decided to form our Buff Club.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh.

[Luke Burbank]

Which was our. We probably combined, I would say, in about maybe in ninth grade. Combined, we might have weighed 160 pounds. And we decided this summer, we're gonna get ripped.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Like a comic book. Like, you're not gonna have sand kicked on you anymore.

[Luke Burbank]

No more sand getting kicked in this guy's face.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And. And so we decided we. And we called it the Buff Club. And I believe we did all the important things. Like, we set up a calendar. Like, we wrote out a calendar of what we were going to do every day. And it involved jogging over to those. Those bleachers and then running those stairs and I think doing some kinds of other, you know, push ups and sit ups and pull ups. I would say we jogged maybe halfway to the bleachers before just totally running out of gas, and then maybe did like, two or three up and down the stairs. And that was the one and only meeting of the Buff Club that ever.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, only one meet. The inaugural and final meeting of the Buff Club.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. That was it.

[Andrew Walsh]

It sounds like the name of a novel. John Irving novel, possibly. I feel like the. The hand grip strengthener thing, which was for people who can't picture, is very basic. It was just like, literally, like a one loop of a spring sort of. Yeah. That held it together. And that seemed like it would be up your alley, because, like, it's not like, you know, you talk about your family not having tons of resources during this time, so I could see you being like, well, I can't get the huge solo flex that my buddy imagine.

[Luke Burbank]

I wanted solo flex so bad, dude.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know you did, sweetie.

[Luke Burbank]

I wanted a bow flex. I would see those things on tv, and I would see those guys with just the traps for days.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, I wanted a solo flex and a bow flex and have them fight each other is what I did. Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Two flexes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Enter while I eat popcorn. But I could see you sort of being like, I can't get that, but I can't, you know, like, one of these hand grip things would be within your range, or, you know, you. Maybe you trade for it on the playground or something like that, and then you're gonna web. This is my. Yeah, this is my personality now. I'm the guy who's gonna be able to grip a basketball or whatever. Luke, why would you not turn down your phone during a recording? I don't. I don't get.

[Luke Burbank]

I did. This is. This is not. Sorry. This is not grip strengthening. But I did Try to make having a toothpick in my mouth my whole personality after I saw the movie Cobra starring Sylvester Stone.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yes, Cobra. Sure, I saw that.

[Luke Burbank]

John Cobretti, I believe he's. He's always got a toothpick in his mouth. Or maybe he had a matchstick in his mouth.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think it was a matchstick because I think he lighted in a dramatic fashion at one point.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, he blows that house up right, where it's like, I think maybe the stove is running or something. And the movie where he famously says, you're the disease and I'm the cure.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I always bring this up, and I'm trying to figure out if I'm remembering because I feel like you. You don't remember this part. And I'm always confused as to whether it's from this movie.

[Luke Burbank]

I think I've even seen the movie, to be honest with you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, really?

[Luke Burbank]

I saw the poster with him with a match in his mouth, and I thought, God, that looks cool.

[Andrew Walsh]

I do believe I saw it, and I believe a big part of it is he's sort of the head of some sort of a gang or there's some sort of a gang maybe that he's fighting. It doesn't really matter.

[Luke Burbank]

I think he's the good guy, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, he's probably the good guy. But there's a bunch of people who are in some sort of underground gang. And what they do is they each have a baseball bat, I believe, metal baseball bats in their hands, and they clank them together over their head when they all gather together and they're listening to a speech or something.

[Luke Burbank]

Wait, isn't that. No. Isn't that the Warriors?

[Andrew Walsh]

I've never seen the warriors, so there might be similar imagery in both, but.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm trying to get to the trailer.

[Andrew Walsh]

I feel like this is at least the third time we've had this conversation. It's my fault. I always bring up these bats. You never remember them. And then we go on this googling fest to see if I'm right or wrong.

[Luke Burbank]

Think of it as one of our greatest hits, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Don't think of it as repetition. Think of it as playing the hits for the listeners. Let's see what the Warner Brothers Pictures trailer for Cobra, 1986.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love it already. Society is breeding a new kind of criminal. It's also breeding a new kind of cop. Meet Cobra. He does the job nobody wants.

[Luke Burbank]

Stallone is in a grocery store. He still has his aviators on, which I would say would make it harder to see what I've noted is that when I have my sunglasses on indoors, yes, I look cool, but no, I can't see anything anymore because it's too dark for me. He's in the. He's got the matchstick in his mouth. He's in the. There's like a robbery of this grocery store going down and I have a feeling he's about to thwart it. Somebody is firing a shotgun, the bad guy. And Cobretti coolly picks up a Coors beer in the grocery store and starts drinking it as he's hiding out behind a cooler waiting to do his thing. That's how cool this guy is, Andrew. He's drunk on the job.

[Andrew Walsh]

Does he have to pay for that beer later or is he going to be a hero and they're going to say, you know what? Don't even pay for the Coors light?

[Luke Burbank]

We're about to find out. We're just at the point where the Coors at 10 in the morning.

[Andrew Walsh]

The plot of the movie is the store owner trying to get his dollar.

[Luke Burbank]

Back for that and him being like, okay, I mean, I can pay for it. I kind of figured, you know, it would be on the house or something. Did you use unnecessary deadly force?

[Andrew Walsh]

I used everything I had.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, you have an. He's being interviewed by the. We don't even see what he does to the guys in the grocery store. But he obviously like kills all of them.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, sure.

[Luke Burbank]

Hed up on Coors again. Put that in the report.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, did the officer act appropriately? Well, I don't know. It started with him having a Coors.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Tall boy. So. So he's now being interviewed by the press. Now he's in what I'm going to assume is a meeting with his superiors where he's being told that his loose cannon ways have to stop. Problem.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, but it's just a little one. You think you would recognize me if you saw him again? The tall one? Yeah, the one that was.

[Luke Burbank]

He's interviewing a woman who was a victim of a crime. Do what you do best. He just hurled a grenade at a like a 1950s car for some reason.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good, good grenades. That's absolutely in the 1980s. There is nothing that couldn't be solved by a grenade.

[Luke Burbank]

He's just a drunk cop lobbing grenades in downtown Los Angeles.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

There's definitely a plot where like I think these bad guys their move as they drive classic cars because he is destroying an entire car club's worth of cars. Yeah. One of the grenades landed in one of them. Now he's firing a. Some kind of a bump stock rifle at one of them and just absolutely maiming it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah. Stallone is Cobra, the strong arm of the law.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, he better say it. If he. If we go through this whole trailer, there's only like 10 seconds left and he doesn't say the line. Wow, really? That's amazing. That's a. I feel like it's a missed opportunity.

[Andrew Walsh]

And did you ever see the match in his mouth? Matchstick?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, we didn't see that. All right.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that definitely. That part checks out. He definitely was. He was. Had a cool match. Stickers. There's another. There's another scene from the movie where he's like, you know, the bad guys are in some sort of a house and he's like, cut the. I don't know if he did it or just happened accidentally, but the, like, you know, the gas line is ruptured and he does the thing where he lights the match that he's had in his mouth. He throws it behind him and he just keeps walking away as this thing explodes. And he doesn't even flinch.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, that's the move there. If you can walk away from explosion and not flinch, that's the thing. And I just. I feel like I'm have.

[Luke Burbank]

He's still in jail, by the way.

[Andrew Walsh]

You should be.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, you want to talk about, like, you're talking about abuse of police.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my God.

[Luke Burbank]

The drinking, the grenades, the blowing up of a house.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm trying to balance this with, like, headlines that I saw in the newspaper today about the Seattle police want to. Jeez, what's the word? They want to encode, I guess, or encrypt their communications more. You know, the public communications that they use, like for dispatch or whatever that you would listen to on a police scan or whatever, they want to encode more of those. And then when they use. When they look for a specific reason why they need this for public safety. The only example the spokesperson pointed to was an example where the police, during protests several years ago, misused their. Like grossly misused. Do you remember this story? They, like, planted a false story to go out over the scanner waves about antifa showing up at some sort of peaceful protest. And they ended up freaking out the people at the peaceful protest because they were monitoring the situation or whatever, and it caused a dangerous situation. And the whole thing was a ruse created by the cops that they were later reprimanded on. And now in this news story years later about why we need to Encrypt this stuff. They're. Well, like, look what happened when we lied over the radio waves. And anyway, so I enjoyed that cobra clip. I can't enjoy anything anymore. And I'm still pissed off that there were no bats clanking in that. I think once again, I am stuck trying to remember what movie I'm actually thinking of.

[Luke Burbank]

But you're not, because. Okay, so the Warriors. There's a guy who clinks bottles and there are people with bats in the Warriors.

[Andrew Walsh]

It could be that. Except I don't think I've ever seen the Warriors.

[Luke Burbank]

Luke. The warriors, they're a heavy outfit. We also. I will spare everyone, but we also do have. We used to play the warriors trailer. Yeah. A lot on the show for some reason. Let's see here. Let me just play. Let's see what this one does. We know about the Warriors. They're a heavy outfit. There you go.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, okay. I thought you're.

[Luke Burbank]

Here's the warriors trailer. Okay, this is only 38 seconds. Let's hear what the warriors trailer. These are the Warriors. Yeah, we know about the Warriors. They're a heavy outf. They're from Coney Island. Warriors. You guys are the big dudes, huh? Now they're in the Bronx.

[Andrew Walsh]

We're going back 27 miles behind enemy lines.

[Luke Burbank]

It's the only choice we've got.

[Andrew Walsh]

Between them and safety stand 20,000 cops and 100,000 sworn enemies.

[Luke Burbank]

I want them all.

[Andrew Walsh]

I want all the Warriors. They've got one way out. They've got one chance. They've got one night.

[Luke Burbank]

And you know, one of the gangs that they have to fight. I think that the gang's whole theme is they dress like the Yankees, really.

[Andrew Walsh]

So they're evil, they're bad.

[Luke Burbank]

But maybe they're either the Mets or the Yankees are basically like, there's a baseball themed gang.

[Andrew Walsh]

I hope they're the Yankees. It would be sad if the Mets were depicted as the evil group.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel the problems can't catch a break.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, I just sort of feel like if you have the Yankees right there and they are sort of the evil empire, you know, some offense to our, you know, Yankees fans. I guess we don't have any. I'm looking after we.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, no, no. You know what? And also, and again, I. I love and admire our colleague, TBTL employee numero uno, John Sklarov. But like the other day I was commiserating about, you know, the Mariners were playing very poorly at the time. And John always, he's very. He's very Diplomatic. He's very nice about things because, you know, the Yankees have. Other than, like, maybe the Dodgers, the Yankees have all of the players and they have all the payroll. And it just seems like things always break the Yankees way. And he went, well, I don't trust it, or whatever. He said something nice to kind of take the edge off. And then later I looked at the Yankees record and it's so good.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And I was, like, mad at him in retrospect, which is totally unfair to John. But I was just like. I was like, what must it be like to just have a team that is just willing to spend all of the money to get the players they need to be continually good?

[Andrew Walsh]

And then there is. And again, now I'm talking about John behind his back, knowing full well that he will hear this. But there is this, and I do think you're right. It's a. It's a much better look than just being like, yeah, we kick ass.

[Luke Burbank]

You guys suck. You know, the guy's. The guy's very respectful about the fact that this baseball team is better than ours.

[Andrew Walsh]

But I also do believe that it's all relative. Like, kind of pain is relative. I remember being a young person and thinking that I was really, like, profound and learning that, like, happiness and misery is all sort of. Is kind of contextual. And, you know, even, like, I was trying to think of, like, we didn't have this language, or I didn't know this language back then, but you could talk about the most privileged person in the world, but if something bad happens to them, they feel a pain that's just as real as, you know, somebody who is less privileged who's also feeling pain. That's kind of all relative. I don't know if I stand by that necessarily today, but I do sort of feel like it applies to Yankees fans. Like, I feel like he does. He is all, John, the Yankees fan is always ready to feel burned in some way. Like, he's always like, we're just not going to be great this year. We're just.

[Luke Burbank]

That's every fan base.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Which is what I mean.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a. Yeah. That's the psychology of being a fan, I think, is even, like, you talk about, like, Patriots fans. They're like, we can't catch a break. It's like you have like, seven Super Bowls or something. Like, it's insane how successful the Patriots were, but then you have one lousy season or a series of lousy seasons and Belichick leaves and whatever happened to him, by the way, has he been in the news?

[Andrew Walsh]

Belichick? I'm not exactly sure what's going on. I think he's just living a very private life right now. Renting airbnbs.

[Luke Burbank]

Uh huh. Every fan base feels like a. They cannot catch a break from the officials.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And, and that, and that they just are sort of always getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop. Which is weird because it must like you were kind of saying this. It must be something about human psychology and probably. And as I relate so many things back to like natural selection and our kind of what has kept us alive. There's probably an evolutionary advantage to your brain prioritizing like basically your brain remembering bad things much more strongly than it remembers good things because that helps keep you safe, you know, now we're just applying it to like baseball, which means nothing, but it's like this idea that like, you know, your team could win three World Series and then you have a lousy season and then you're just like, you just feel like we're on the schneid. We don't, you know, like, you know, we like our ownership is not willing to pay the money to get good players, etc. Like that's just the perpetual feeling of, of most fan bases. Even though it seems like when you look at it or even if you listen to Rob Lowe, it seems like there are certain fan bases that are more put upon. By the way, the Baseball Furies is the name of the gang in the Warriors.

[Andrew Walsh]

So the Baseball Furies, that makes more sense. Why, why tie it to a real team? Also, why pay to.

[Luke Burbank]

But they're in pinstripes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, so they're very Yankees coded.

[Luke Burbank]

They're a fictional New York city gang in 1979. They're a group of real major leaguers who bring their A game to every Rumble. Packing bats and plenty of muscle, the Fury's rep stretches through every network in nyc. I just love the idea that you just have this tells you what a kind of wonderfully ludicrous movie. The warriors is like one of the gangs they have to fight is just like they got outfits.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean somebody went out and bought outfits.

[Andrew Walsh]

The idea of a rumble. Right. What was the S.E. hinton book? The famous. Oh, the Outsiders. Right. Like the Rumbles were. I loved, loved that book growing up. But also the idea, I mean, I think that maybe it helped me have the idea that I was going to be in a Rumble someday and I didn't feel ready to be in a Rumble. And it turns out I never was in a rumble. And it's good because I was never ready to be in a rumble. But like, you're a kid and you're reading stuff, like, the same way you brought up the other day. You're like, I don't know. I thought there was going to be more quicksand in real life. Like, I think that I felt like rumbles were something that were going to be part of my life. And I did not. I did not, like, sort of look forward to that part of life.

[Luke Burbank]

I was never in a full on rumble, but I was in some things that were sort of rumble adjacent. And what. This is the problem with a rumble. You're not mad when the rumble starts.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Because it's been like, okay, we'll meet you, you know, we'll meet you behind the school after school. Well, that's like, you know, as Homer Simpson once said, when there was a waiting period for him to buy a gun. Oh, but then I won't be mad anymore.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm angry now.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm angry now. Like, the idea of, like, establishing a time in the future when you're gonna fight someone is this, like, it's. You're always regretful when the time comes because you're not mad. It's. And now you have to go enact it. It did happen once. I decided there was gonna be a rumble between me and a kid named Sam and it was gonna be after school. This is what got me kicked off of crossing guard duty.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now, is it a rumble? Is there just two of you? Is it mano a mano? Is that a rumble or is that just an after school fight?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, there were multiple people. It was really. It was really a fight.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

It was really, honestly, like a. Like an ambush. Poor Sam.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I know this story.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I kind of regret this. You know, I don't feel good about it. But he and I were into it over something, and I was a crossing guard. But I knew. But also the plan was I was going to fight Sam. And so I couldn't be at my crossing guard station. So I gave my crossing guard outfit to a girl named Terry Wilfong. And I said, can you just, like, do the crossing guard thing for the next 20 minutes? I've got to go be in a.

[Andrew Walsh]

In a fight that's sort of cinematic. I can see that being in a Stallone thing, like. And she said, hold my cop uniform. I got to go take care of something.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, she. Then I got to go throw some grenades.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, Home.

[Luke Burbank]

So then she. Then she, like, obviously Ratted me out because this got me kicked off of Safety Patrol, which I didn't care about that. But what it meant was I couldn't go to the Fun Forest at the end of the year. The reward for doing Safety Patrol was that there was a day at the end of the school year where all the Safety Patrol kids got to go to the amusement park on the Seattle Public Schools dime.

[Andrew Walsh]

The Fun Forest?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, Seattle Center. Like where the.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that still existed. That was still an operation. Oh, that's right. It was even operational. I think when I first got here in 2009, those rides were going. Yeah, that's right.

[Luke Burbank]

Flight to Mars.

[Andrew Walsh]

I always.

[Luke Burbank]

I what they Gravitron.

[Andrew Walsh]

Not to this totally derails your story, but I like what they ended up doing with the Seattle Center. But when they were debating what should we do with this space and they were going to get rid of that area, all those rides and everything, I thought it'd been really cool if they just leaned into it and really kind of spiffed them up, but kept the 1960s era, like rides and everything. Wouldn't that be cool if that thing still existed? But it was more of almost like a space age sort of retro amusement park. There are not a lot of those.

[Luke Burbank]

That would have been so cool. That thing was. The Fun Forest was like. There used to be a thing called Kids Day in Seattle when I was a kid, which is separate from the Safety Patrol thing. There was a thing they established called Kids Day, which was like a day to celebrate being a kid. And there was some kind of a deal at Fun Forest on Kids Day. It was like a city wide. Other people my age listen to this. Get at me. If you remember Kids Day, it was literally like the city of Seattle celebrates the idea of there being children in Seattle for one day. And I remember going to Fun Forest and it was like unlimited rides on Kids Day or something. There was T shirts.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm going to text Phyllis right now and find out if she remembers kids.

[Luke Burbank]

If there is a person who will remember Kids Day, it's our friend P. Fletch. But like, so. But anyway, because I got in this fight and because I shirked my duty, I mean, it was a pretty bad dereliction of duty. Leaving and then giving the. Giving the. The flag, the sacred crossing guard flag and helmet and vest to an untrained Terry Wolfong. I mean, that was. That was John Cobretti levels of.

[Andrew Walsh]

I feel like later on you have.

[Luke Burbank]

To hand over misconduct.

[Andrew Walsh]

You have to hand over your vest and your. I don't know what would be the other thing? Flashlight.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, right. But so anyway, I got. I got kicked off of crossing guard for that, which kind of sucked. But any. But then I also also was. Got into this fight and you know, if I had it to do over again, I would not have gotten in this fight because it was so dumb. And now looking back, and I think this kid's s. Sam was a kid who was just trying to fit in. And he was a kind of a newer transfer to the school. And, and, and yes, he had been aggressive towards me, but it was because he was insecure and it was not something where I should have like jumped him in an alley and then tried to fight him. Because even when I'm in the alley with him, I'm not mad anymore. But now I feel like there's this whole production of me being here to do this, like, outsiders esque fight.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But then what happened that was crazy was I'm fighting him. The good news is the level of violence was very low. I was a scrawny kid. We were kind of, I don't know, probably just kind of mostly grappling and kind of spinning around or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

But then this is pre Buff Club Luke.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, this was. I mean, if you. This would happen after Buff Club, I would have been really worried for Sam. He would have been in a lot of danger. But. But what was crazy about it was we're fighting and there's other kids are just kind of watching now, including kids he was walking home with. So it wasn't just like me and a gang versus Sam. It was kind of like two groups of kids. These older kids are driving by, so they were old enough to, you know, have their licenses, and they see me fighting with Sam and they decide. And again, it's funny because I was such a shrimp at this time, they decided that I, me and my friends were the aggressors, by the way. They weren't totally wrong about that. But then the older kids grab a couple of my friends and pin them down on the ground. Now the older kids, it was actually kind of a nice move for justice. Saw the fight going. Even though they sided with the other people, they weren't wrong.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, the older kids came in and bullied us for bullying Sam.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And then I think the whole thing was kind of over after that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Nobody got hurt.

[Luke Burbank]

Nobody got hurt.

[Andrew Walsh]

I do. I think I've probably told you this before, but I don't. I don't think violence ended up actually happening in this scenario. And this is not my story. And it's from a long time ago, so take it all with a grain of salt. Well, first of all, before I go into this story, Phyllis says, okay, two things come to mind regarding Kids Day. I.

[Luke Burbank]

Hold on. Think.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, here we go.

[Luke Burbank]

TVTL breaking news. All right. Pete Fletch has entered the discourse.

[Andrew Walsh]

Kids Day, it says. Okay. She doesn't know. She's on the record, by the way, but she'll find out later today. Okay. Two things come to mind that I can't fully remember the name of. So I'll say yes, my first guest is that it was a YMCA thing that was started by Mayor Royer. That was supposed to be, it was supposed to get kids interested in local government. Could that possibly be it? And I'm thinking that maybe there's another guest coming along as well.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm looking up. I mean that would, that timing would have made sense. Charlie Royer was the mayor when I was a kid for a part of a part of my childhood. So that would, that part checks out. I just remember it being like I said, more than just it felt maybe this was just maybe they made a big deal out of it at Bagley Elementary School. But it just, it seemed like it was a city wide project that we looked forward to. We were like, it's good. And I feel like it was in April. Maybe it was like, it's going to be Kids Day and that's the one day that kids rule.

[Andrew Walsh]

Kids. It sounds so 90s. So I'll just finish this very, very brief story my friend was telling. He lived in a different city at this point. This is back in the 90s, we're in high school and he found himself in some sort of a rumble sit. I don't think the rumble ended up happening, but the fun part happened, which is when everybody got excited for the rumble. And I don't know the details of it, but I guess they, you know, they came home from school, they're supposed to meet later that afternoon or evening. So now there's this period where everybody's like going home to grab whatever they want to bring to the rumble. And my friend was a musician, so he was proud of what he had fashioned. He had like taken like, I think it was a drum stand. It was either a drum stand or a mic stand, but I think it was a drum stand that sort of like had like kind of a hinge on it or something. So he thought it was a good battle weapon because it kind of hooked in a certain way. That sounds very dangerous. And he was feeling very proud of that. Then he got in his van and then drove to pick up his friend who was going to rumble with him. Shane, I believe. And then he was bowled over, as it were, when he sees Shane come out of his house carrying nothing but a bowling pin. And he's like, that is such a good way.

[Luke Burbank]

These guys would have fit in great in the Warriors. There's another thing that's like, out of work jazz trio. It's a guy just carrying a bow fiddle.

[Andrew Walsh]

You have like the musicians that have a bunch of. Yeah, like, music gear. And then you have, like the bowlers who come out and they have various bowling paraphernalia to bring to the rumble. But yeah, I do think of bringing a bowling pin to a rumble. Is there's. I don't want anybody getting hurt, but that's pretty classic.

[Luke Burbank]

No, that's hardcore. By the way, I'm. I. I put anyone remember Kids Day in Seattle in the 1980s? And I got something. There's a Facebook page called Early 80s Seattle Center Memories. So somebody must have done something with that. But I was scrolling the page and it's far too many posts down for me to bore anyone with it. But if you have memories of Kids Day, hit me up because I want to make sure I didn't hallucinate that. Hey, Ken, how about this? Do we have some dazzling donors to thank today? We're getting towards the end of the list.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, we have some dazzling donors, I believe.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, let's do that. And then I want to talk through this Shatner thing with you. I mean, legitimately, I'm kind of like a little anxious today about this. I'm interviewing William Shatner and Neil DeGrasse Tyson, and I feel like both of them are sort of complicated interviews for different reasons. So maybe after the dazzling donors, you can help you. I don't know, help calm me and center me or whatever. Let's do that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Or freak you out.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah, that's also door number three.

[Andrew Walsh]

Stay gold, pony boy.

[Luke Burbank]

We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle. On your mark. On your mark. Get set, get set now. Ready, ready, go.

[Andrew Walsh]

Everybody, razzle dazzle.

[Luke Burbank]

All right. Let's thank those dazzling donors. These are the people who are donating a dazzling amount of dough. It is the one and only way that TBTL can stay in business. 100% listener supported podcasting. And we have to thank Sarah Hernandez, who's in Portland, Oregon.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sarah.

[Luke Burbank]

What up, Sarah? Hello to my favorite dummies and cheers to another year of telling people what my friends said and having only my wife know that I am talking about two disembodied voices that I do not know in real life but listen to pretty much every day. I know you know this, Sarah, because you're a daily listener. You're absolutely allowed to refer to us as your friends. You do not need to clarify to anybody that we are doing a podcast and we will back you on that story. If somebody you know, like sort of, you know, asks us, we're pulled over by the police and they say, are you friends with Sarah Hernandez at Portland, Oregon? We say, yes, absolutely.

[Andrew Walsh]

People deny it. I go around telling people I'm friends with Sarah Hernandez. I say it at least once a day and people are like, no you're not.

[Luke Burbank]

She's asked you to say it less.

[Andrew Walsh]

And then I always say, well, she wouldn't know me, but I know her exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

I became a 10 in my mid-20s back in the radio days and I've just turned 40 for nearly half of my life through times amazing and nuts. What is this job? Andrew? I know that we're spending nearly half of someone's life, somebody who is now 40, nearly half of their life has been spent listening to this. I don't know why. That information is just absolutely shocking to me. TBTL has brought me joy, comfort and a regular stream of drops that no one gets when I blurt them out. Their loss, says Sarah. I'm thrilled to donate at the dazzling level this year. If any tens can donate for the first time this year at any amount, I highly recommend it as a final note and a chamber worthy self plug. If you're in Portland or a musician and don't mind hanging out with a middle aged mom type, check out ravennalux.com this is Ravenna R a v E N N a l u x.com and send me a note if you'd like to join forces. My 40th year goal is to get back into music and I'd love to embark on that journey with a fellow 10 no mountain too tall friendo. So I'm getting eyes on this Ravenna Lux Is this a band?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Music project Sarah's making.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah and so I don't know if we're allowed to do this or not, but I have. I think it would be okay since Sarah's encouraging people to go to ravenalux.com I was listening to these new tracks that she posted recently and they're they blew me away Luke. So I was wondering maybe we can go out with Annihilation the First.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely. Also, Sarah was in the Angry Orts.

[Andrew Walsh]

Mm.

[Luke Burbank]

I loved that band. I think we used to even play that band on. On this show. So this is very cool. I did not realize this. Sarah had not put it together. So, yeah, let's absolutely go out with some Ravenna Lux.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. We'll do that at the end of the show.

[Luke Burbank]

And, Sarah, thank you so much for supporting tbtl. It really means a lot to us, and we truly couldn't do this without you. You. Thank you, Maestro.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, hold on. I was getting Ravenna Lux ready for later, and now we have it here. Maestro.

[Luke Burbank]

On your mark. On your mark. Get set, get set now. Ready, ready, go. Everybody rattle Dazzle, everybody. It's Todd Tinker in Bainbridge Island. On Bainbridge Island. At Bainbridge Island, Todd says. Longtime listener, first time dazzler. This is my third donor message draft. In the first, I recommended a community event that has a fundraising aspect. That was fine when I wrote it, but by the time it would have aired, it would have exposed me to potential discipline from the Washington Supreme Court. That's the bad news. The good news is that while John was waiting for me to revise my message, I got to hear Andrew, when discussing Mina Keim's career options, say words that could arguably be interpreted as including law among careers that are super, super brainy, which was fun and funny. I'm thinking Todd is a lawyer.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I'm thinking so too. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, and maybe this is why Todd is concerned about promoting his favorite event. Because maybe that would be, I don't know, something. Something could get him in trouble with his legal practice. I can't promote my favorite event, but I can promote myself. I was recently appointed to the King County Superior Court bench. Holy smokes, Todd Judd, here come the judge.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. So now we understand why you need to, like, have maybe a separation between.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely. Of Todd and State.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that a show title also? Todd, you might have given me the show title.

[Luke Burbank]

This is. This is. This is big time. We've got a King County Superior Court judge essentially in our pocket. Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Don't get him in trouble. But you're right.

[Luke Burbank]

Sorry, Todd. All Todd did is donate hard earned money to this podcast, only to have me, like, casually, in a cavalier manner, throw around stuff like, we've got him in our pocket. I'm just saying.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

If one of us has a case and it happens to get to the King County Superior Court level and we happen to get Judge Todd as our as our, as our judge, I'm personally not going to complain.

[Andrew Walsh]

And the thing is, nobody can accuse us of trying to influence Todd. We're not giving him money. No, he's giving any money.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's a reverse bribe. It's a reverse bribe. And Todd knows all about them. From law school, of course.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. I'm grateful every day for the privilege of serving the city and the county that I love. Seriously, Todd, thank you for doing this. I mean, it's just absolutely wild that at every level of public service, the work has been so politicized and so complicated and so in certain ways, kind of. Of vilified. So what I'm going to say is I don't know anything about Todd's judicial record or Todd's particular jurisprudence, but if Todd is a TBTL listener for all these years, he's got to be. Yeah, he's got to be on the right side of a lot of these things. He's got to be a good, law following, law abiding, legal interpreter. And I want to say thanks, Todd. Also, Todd said I have to run for election in the year I'm appointed. So in my second message draft, I asked King county tens to please look for my name on the ballot. But the period for filing to run for election in 2025 expired in May without anyone filing to challenge me. Consequently, I've been, quote, deemed elected and will not, in fact, appear on the ballot this year. I conclude that just the threat of a TBTL bump was sufficient to scare off any challengers. That'll happen, Todd. This is what the Tammany Hall's got. Nothing I got on this political machine that is tbt.

[Andrew Walsh]

I got a bowling pin right here and I'll bring it to Tammany Hall.

[Luke Burbank]

Call me the Boss Tweety of King County Superior Court elections. Thanks, fellas. What you do is so important. Well, Todd, I. I think it's almost as important as being a judge in the King County Superior Court.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Almost as important as what you do. But thank you again for supporting tbtl. We really could not do this without you. Hello and welcome to Top Story. So, as I mentioned at the beginning of the show, Andrew, I am going to be dashing out of here and heading up to Seattle where I'm going to be interviewing William Shatner and Neil DeGrasse Tyson today in advance of a show that they're doing at Makah Hall. They have this kind of a, I don't know, two man show about exploration that they're doing Which I think, first of all, it hasn't actually happened yet. Tonight is the first night that it will be occurring. But conveniently, we can only interview them before the show. So I don't really know what the show is about because I have not seen it. What would be more ideal is if I watch the show tonight.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And then interviewed them tomorrow about it. That does not seem to be possible from a scheduling standard.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, no. Yeah. No way of getting an advanced.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. There isn't like a DVD of it or something, because it hasn't been, like, they haven't been touring this around. And I can kind of get a sense of what it is. I kind of have the sense that what it is, is William Shatner is very curious about space and spirituality and the cosmos, and Neil DeGrasse Tyson knows a lot about that stuff. And so they get on stage and I think William Shatner sort of, sort of proposes. He opens a bunch of different sort of hypothetical cans of worms and then. And Neil DeGrasse Tyson closes some of them and pours out the worms from some of the other ones, and they just have sort of a rolling conversation about a bunch of different stuff involving the universe. But again, that's an educated guess as to what. What we're going to even be talking about. I'm a little nervous because William Shatner is. He's 94 years old. He appears to be extremely mentally sharp still, like. Like he. Well, what he seems to be is the way he's always been. In my experience. He was on. Wait, wait, don't tell me once when I was on there, and I've seen many interviews with him, and he's sort of this guy who likes to answer every question kind of humorously, but it's humorous in the Bill Shatner version of humorous, you know what I mean? So it's like. I think he probably feels like he's helping the conversation along. But if it were, like, we talk about the kind of conversational hacky sack. I've been now watching a lot of interviews with him the last couple of days, and he tends to spike the hacky sack, I don't think, intentionally. But, like, you'll ask him a straightforward question about, you know, what was it like playing James T. Kirk or whatever, or what was the impact that you think Star Trek might have had on the way we think about space or something, and he'll give you kind of a looping answer that has a bunch of kind of jokes in it and things that are not totally serious that kind of as the interviewer might throw you off. Might throw me off. Like, I think it depends on the mood that William Shatner is in, how this interview is going to go today.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I could see that. I think he's a man with a. I don't think either one of these men suffer from small egos, especially Shatner. Shatner has been known to be kind of spiky during interviews. Did you, you said you've been watching some interviews. Did you see that? About a week ago he was on the. They were on the Colbert show together. Okay, so that seems like that's some good prep. Possibly. Here's a question I would ask Shatner. In all seriousness, it actually might not be a very good question, but while I'm thinking about this, it would be interesting to know because Shatner, again, you don't have to set it up this way. I'm not a big fan of Shatner, generally speaking, but I do remember after he went technically out into space on one of those sort of celebrity space programs, he came back. It was kind of endearing. He was truly, truly, truly moved by the experience. And I think that he, he saw it as a life changing experience. It'd be interesting to know, though, if he would still have an interest in space if he hadn't, if his first show hadn't happened to be about space. Like, was he drawn to Star Trek because there was something in him that was drawn to that universe? Or if he had been in a 1960s show about computer hacking, would he be really into computers right now, or, I don't know, something else?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I think that's a really good question. I was going to ask him a version of that about. Just like. Yeah, if his association with Star Trek kind of kicked off his now lifelong interest in things like that, or if he was always sort of curious about it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Don't put in the part about your friend not being a big fan of his. Well, you don't need that for context.

[Luke Burbank]

I need. Here, listen, it's an old interviewing tactic. I've got to kind of get him on his back foot. So when he finds out that a friend of mine is not a big fan.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, just. I'll tell you what, man, I'll just keep going back to it. But here's how you set the. Here's how you kind of level set. You come out there, you set a bowling pin and a drum stand right.

[Luke Burbank]

On the table holding a bowling pin in your right hand, in your left.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hand, and you make just intense Shatner.

[Luke Burbank]

Come out and play. You're clinking two Coke bottles together.

[Andrew Walsh]

There you go. Okay, so we're on the same page.

[Luke Burbank]

You have a matchstick in your mouth.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sure.

[Luke Burbank]

You're bringing together a number of cinematic tropes. I mean, the thing about William Shatner is. Is, like, sometimes when we're doing a Sunday morning interview, the nice thing is that most people who are being interviewed are pretty stoked that they're getting to be interviewed by CBS Sunday Morning. And so they really are doing their best to play along. They're trying to give thoughtful answers. They're trying to, like, they're excited about the experience, and they usually bring their A game. I do not think that William Shatner is going. I don't think the highlight of his day is going to be the fact that he finally has an opportunity to talk to CBS Television. And that kind of changes the dynamic. I don't think he's going to be annoyed about it, but this isn't a thrill for him. This is a thing that goes along with being William Shatner and that goes along with having this traveling show that you're doing. And then on the Neil DeGrasse Tyson front, he's just like. Basically, what I realized the other day is there's not enough time for me to learn everything about William Shatner's career, which has been pretty. Between Star Trek and T.J. hooker and Boston Legal.

[Andrew Walsh]

And what if you guys focused on TJ Hooker questions?

[Luke Burbank]

What if I only focus on Boston Legal? He was nominated for two Emmys for Boston Legal, by the way.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm sure he'll tell you.

[Luke Burbank]

I. You know, like, if. So it's, like, it's too late for me to fully. Because a lot of people who interview William Shatner are probably Trekkies or are, like, obsessed with him and know every single thing about his career. I know very little about his career, comparatively. And then a lot of the people who interview Neil DeGrasse Tyson are probably. Are really into astronomy. They're like our friend Summer Ash. Yeah, they know a lot about it, and they can really kind of like, talk about new and emerging theories and ask about, you know, different galaxies and, you know, Hubble telescopes and things like that. It's also too late for me to learn a bunch about astronomy. Like, this thing just dropped into my lap very recently. So I got to figure out, these are two people that are obviously very smart or at least very confident, and one is very confident about his career as being William Shatner, and the other is very confident about knowing everything about how space and time works. And these are two topics that I'm pretty under informed on. And so I don't know how I'm gonna, how I'm gonna get through this exactly. But, you know, I, I don't know, I'm gonna try. It's like I basically feel like these are, I can usually tap dance my way through these things just by being sort of trying to be likable and taking the approach of. I want this interview to work for somebody who just sat down on their couch on a Sunday morning and they don't have a ton of background on these people. That's who I'm usually thinking about, which is an excuse for me to ask under informed questions. But these just seem like two guys that if I'm asking slightly under informed questions, they're going to notice and they're going to get annoyed quickly.

[Andrew Walsh]

I, you know, even Shatner, I know again that who was the, who was your former colleague? Didn't he get into a thing on Twitter or whatever or after an interview on npr, didn't he get into a spat with a, with an NPR reporter that you used to work with? Is this ringing a bell to you at all?

[Luke Burbank]

That's when my, Is that Andrea Seabrook?

[Andrew Walsh]

I think it was Andrea, now that you say that, that's what sort of, that was the story that sort of shifted. I didn't really consider him much before.

[Luke Burbank]

I should call Andrea and say, what should I ask Bill?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, see what you get back.

[Luke Burbank]

What was it? She did an interview with him and he didn't like it or something or.

[Andrew Walsh]

I can't, I don't remember the details. We could look, we could probably look that up. But I was going to say, I do think to calm your nerves a little bit. Not that I, you know, not that I would be good at this or not that I wouldn't be nervous going into this, but you and I are different people. But I do, this is a, this is salesmanship for both of these guys. They have something to sell, I don't think. I think they're both going to be very much on their best behavior. And I don't think that they're going to like scoff or even internally scoff at any like kind of ill informed questions. I think they just want to present the best version of themselves to sell this show that they're doing. So I actually do think that you're going to be, I think it's going to be a pretty safe environment, honestly. I think it's going to be pretty good. There's no other Big story here that you're trying to like, you know, you were kind of talking about some other interviews you have to do where you have to think about, yeah, but how much is this promotion and how much of this is like you're kind of a controversial person that doesn't really play into this so much. Like it's. I think everybody's going to play nice also. You could just ask them both what happened before the big bang.

[Luke Burbank]

That, I'll tell you, Andrew, is a great question that's been posed on this show a lot lately. I think you're right. That's the thing. They're both, I'm sure, more than happy to feather their own nest and promote this thing that they're doing because they're take it to LA next and stuff. So they're happy to be promoting this thing. But I would like the interview to somehow, I'd like the story eventually to transcend just William Shatner and Neil DeGrasse Tyson are doing a barnstorming tour. I'm sure they'd be more than happy to talk about that. I. But then I feel like I would like the story to be a little bit more interesting.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's true. Yeah. But I do think. But as far as though, like them, you feeling at all like, well, my questions are gonna seem sophomoric to them or something. I just don't think that that's gonna be the edge that they bring to this. Probably.

[Luke Burbank]

Do I dare bring up sabotage?

[Andrew Walsh]

Sabotage the system, Spock.

[Luke Burbank]

Sabotage the system.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, lead with that and then see how the tone goes.

[Luke Burbank]

I might not lead with it, but if, if somehow we're hitting it off and like things are feeling real loosey goosey and we're at the end of the interview, I might ask him about that because that's some. That's some big TBTL lore. That's really. Honestly, my main connection point to Bill Shatner is, is the word sabotage.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now, do you. But that is. That would be a bit of an itchy issue though, right? Because isn't that tape about him kind of like, kind of getting a little bit caustic on set?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, yeah. I don't know. For some reason I don't seem like I can't find the full tape. But yeah, basically it's him recording. I think he was recording voiceover tracks for like some Star Trek game. Might even been like a CD rom.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that's why it was voiceover and not on set. That's interesting.

[Luke Burbank]

And he's saying, spock, sabotage the system.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

He's saying it multiple different times. And then the recording engineer corrects him and says, you're mispronouncing sabotage. And he says something to the effect of. Of you say sabotage. I say sabotage. And something to the effect of, don't correct me. It sickens me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, that's definitely from Zoolander. I believe that is a Zoolander line. I mean, I don't know what Shatner says. It would be amazing if Zoolander took that line verbatim from that. But Veeves. And I say that all the time because there's this shot of Ben Stiller. I almost brought this up earlier. He's literally squeezing a stress ball. We were talking about things that you squeeze earlier, and I was thinking about how stress balls were a big deal in the 90s. And I remember the scene from Zoolander where he's squeezing a stress ball. He says, don't correct me. It sickens me, I think.

[Luke Burbank]

Let's see. Okay, this is basically. I found a YouTube video that's like a series of different famous people getting mad. I'm looking at a freeze frame of Casey Kasem, and I'm guessing that it's Casey Case. I'm getting really mad about a little dog named Snuggles. Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

So we're gonna come out of that, but then the next one on the list is Bill Shatner. Sabotage. Let's just take a look.

[Andrew Walsh]

Dog die.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that's mocking the person in the recording booth during a session for the Hayden Planetarium. No, because if your mouth were open, you'd have popped some pills in them. The full versions of these clips are easily found. Why is the Internet just so bad now, Andrew? Why can't we find anything?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, like the original.

[Luke Burbank]

Anything good. It's like somebody repurposing. I mean, this is the thing about the Internet. It's like. It seems endless, but it's like actually five things.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, it's.

[Luke Burbank]

You had like, William Shatner isn't out there making new tape of him yelling at a recording engineer, but if you were to Google it, you'd think so. Because it's like everybody in the food chain has to go take their bite of this tape and then repackage it and repurpose it and then SEO it somehow so that instead of me just getting the original tape, which of course I used to have, at some point, I get some person who's made a new YouTube video where they're doing their voiceover, a voiceover of it. But because they've got the SEO really maximized on it now they've got 8 million views of their. Just basically repurposing of a thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

I have to say something here. I'm deeply, deeply embarrassed. I said Zoolander. I didn't mean Zoolander. I wasn't picturing Zoolander. I said Zoolander. I meant Mystery Men. Ben Stiller made both of those movies. He's in both of those movies. And he. He's. He plays, like, Captain Angry or something in Mystery Men. Not, of course, Zoolander, where he plays a. A fashion model. My apologies to everybody.

[Luke Burbank]

Zoolander is. I. I have seen Zoolander, but it's. It's not. It's. I know we're not talking about zoom. I know you're talking about mystery.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But, like, the movie Zoolander is one of those ones that kind of. I watched it. I thought it was pretty funny. But it's. It is a. It is a real cultural touchstone for a lot of people our age, whether it's Blue Steel or things like that. Like, it. It's one of those ones that. And this is not me trying to be critical of it. It just didn't. It did not lodge itself in my brain in the way that it did for a lot of people my age. For whatever reason.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm with you now. There are some scenes in it that are iconic that Veeves and I will quote. I mean, like you say, Blue Steel became part of the culture. But I actually. I love Mystery Men. I love that movie. Zoolander has, like, all the hallmarks of a movie I would love that much, and other people do love that much, but for some reason, I don't find it as funny. And I think the problem is I don't find. And again, I'm a huge fan of Ben Stiller. I don't find his Zoolander character all that funny. I think the funniest parts of that movie are the. Are the other parts. You know, the David Bowie of it all and. And. And the other kind of very hilarious cameos. And the random cameo. Will Ferrell's character. Yeah, he's pretty funny in it. You know, when he says, what is this, a school for ants? They're, like, showing. At the end of the movie, they're showing him a model of the school they want to build in his honor, and he says, what is this, a school for ants? I gotta admit, like, lines like that do make me laugh, but generally speaking, I'm with you on it. It just doesn't quite click for me as much as, like, say, mystery Men.

[Luke Burbank]

It's kind of like The Bart Simpson sort of situation, which is. I think Bart Simpson is the least interesting person on the Simpsons. But then again, maybe that creates the environment for all the other funny stuff to happen. You need the sort of titular character who's actually, you know, not as funny as everybody else, but that sets everybody else up to be funny or something. That's how I think of tbtl. I'm obviously the least popular of the two hosts of the show, but it allows you to shine in.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, by a long shot, though. I mean, that's kind of the difference.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, exactly. All right, so I'm going to. I'm gonna start by telling William Shatner that my friend's not a big fan. How about Neil DeGrasse Tyson? How can I neg him a little bit? Are you medium on his, like, fashion choice? Anything about him you're not?

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, I gotta. I have some words about his mustache. Okay, let's talk about that a little bit there.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, that's good. That's good. That's a start. Yeah, I gotta get both of them. I think we're talking to them separately and then together. And part of it is because I don't know if you watched the Colbert thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

I did not. No. I was just googling while you were talking about it. I didn't know about this.

[Luke Burbank]

The Colbert thing is hilarious because they made a real tactical error, the Colbert producers, which is they put William Shatner closer to Colbert and then they put Neil DeGrasse Tyson further away.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Does he hamm it up?

[Luke Burbank]

Neil DeGrasse Tyson is in. He is not able to get a word in Edgewater because Shatner. Shatner has turned his back to Neil.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my God.

[Luke Burbank]

And is just talking to Colbert. And you can tell Colbert is, like, really trying to figure out what to do.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Because it's. And you could just. And Neil degrass Tyson just looks like he wants to take out a cigarette and start smoking it or something. So Xed out of the conversation and to. To the point where Colbert ends up making a whole joke out of it eventually. Like, he has to.

[Andrew Walsh]

Because.

[Luke Burbank]

Because they have to address the fact that Neil DeGrasse Tyson is not getting to say anything in this interview because William Shatner is William Shatner and he's 94 years old. He gives zero Fs and he likes the attention, and he's just going and going and going and going. So I think we're gonna interview them separately to avoid that. And then together and then bring them.

[Andrew Walsh]

Together and then find out who is Lying. Exactly. So we're gonna get there.

[Luke Burbank]

The whole thing is you gotta lock each one of them into a story. This is something I learned from John Cobretti.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can you.

[Luke Burbank]

You gotta lock each person into their story, and then when those stories don't align, now you've got them.

[Andrew Walsh]

Ah, it's the prisoner's dilemma. I love the idea of you putting one of them in an ISO chamber. Like you can see them, you're all in the same room together. But while you're interviewing Shatner, Neil Degrasse Tyson is in this isolation chamber and you can sort of see him, but he can't hear anything that's being said.

[Luke Burbank]

Is there a two way mirror?

[Andrew Walsh]

That's interesting. No, I think.

[Luke Burbank]

Wait, a one way mirror or a two way mirror?

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't think mirrors are involved. I think it looks like a submersible from a sci fi book from the 1940s or something. But it's got like a, a glass pane in there around eye level or around face level and so that you, you can see his, you know, like you say, like he's, he can't hear anything, so he's just in there playing solitaire or something like that. But then they have to switch places and then you catch them all in lies.

[Luke Burbank]

I do want to find out how this guy is doing, what he's doing at age 94. Like, it's pretty remarkable. Yeah, certainly I did not see that. Is it just being, is it just being professionally a testy person for your whole life? Does that keep you young at heart? Like, it's crazy to me that he is. Of all the people. Well, you got two people from that show, from Star Trek that are still alive and it's George Takei and William Shatner. And they apparently deeply dislike each other, but they're also both weirdly sort of healthy for being in their 90s. Yeah, like George Takei is really. I think he might have just turned 90 and he's doing great as well. They play a lot of tape of him on the Howard Stern show. That's how I keep track of George.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, and they have somebody who does an imitation of him as well, right?

[Luke Burbank]

They do, yeah. And then, and then they also have the real George Takei on sometimes as well. But he's doing great and Shatner is doing great in terms of the health thing. I don't know if it was that time in space. Did it like do something for you?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Does he have the space bug? Ooh. I did just read a sci fi novel about People who go to space and then come back with a space bug that ends up basically destroying humanity. You could ask about that. I'll send you some notes.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

I do want to know if he came back with a space bug.

[Luke Burbank]

I'll ask him that.

[Andrew Walsh]

That would actually be kind of funny.

[Luke Burbank]

And my friend who doesn't like you very much, he wants to know if you came back with a space bug.

[Andrew Walsh]

Dude.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm feeling a lot better.

[Andrew Walsh]

If the interview does not go well. If the interview does not go well, how much would I have to pay you to say that exactly how you said it at the end? And no, I guess that's a career killer. Hey, my buddy who doesn't like you very much wants to.

[Luke Burbank]

I already walked off the black carpet during Metallica. I just.

[Andrew Walsh]

You told.

[Luke Burbank]

So, I mean, I don't know. I don't know how much worse I can. How much more I can damage my reputation. How many television community.

[Andrew Walsh]

How many producers can you oster.

[Luke Burbank]

Which is the same producer as Metallica. I need to be on my best behavior.

[Andrew Walsh]

We'll let that one go. I was no help on this one, but it'll be good. I think you're. I have a feeling is you're going to be here tomorrow after all of this. You're going to be doing the show from my studio. And my guess is you. And this is. I don't know. I'm not trying to set you up for disappointment, but I think you're going to be somewhat euphoric tomorrow. I think it's going to go really well, and I think you're going to be feeling good when I see you tomorrow.

[Luke Burbank]

I love that positivity. And I really hope you're right. I really hope you're right. And by the way, yesterday at the end of the show, I said, go Mariners, and it did not jinx them. So maybe you saying that the interview is going to go well is not a jinx.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, it's not a jinx. Maybe you should say, go Mariners again today.

[Luke Burbank]

I will. I'm going to say it right after I say all of this, which is that's going to bring us to the end of the show. Thank you so much for listening, everybody. We will be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio. I will be at Andrew's house, which is always a fun time.

[Andrew Walsh]

I got a vacuum to get to.

[Luke Burbank]

Get to, you know, be in irl. Is that what they call it? Irl?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, sir.

[Luke Burbank]

So please do join us for that. In the meantime, everybody, have a great Wednesday. I might see some of you at this Shatner thing tonight. So if you. If this seems like a thing that some tens might attend. So if I see you there, say hi, will you? And in the meantime, please remember, no Mountain too tall also. Go, Merritt Turners. Yes, and good. No Mountain too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to you all. Power out.