#4496 The E Line Of Cities

Summary

Episode #4496: The E Line Of Cities
Release Date: June 25, 2025
Hosts: Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh
Podcast: TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

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Introduction: Robots and Unlikely Insurance

The episode kicks off with Luke and Andrew diving into a humorous discourse about the omnipresence of robots in modern society. Luke quips about their unconventional solution to potential robotic threats:

Luke Burbank [00:11]: "Darren and I have a policy with Old Glory Insurance that covers us in case we're attacked by robots."

Their playful banter introduces a fictional advertisement featuring Sam Waterston, who humorously endorses "Old Glory Insurance" for safeguarding individuals over 50 against robot attacks.

Sam Waterston [00:28]: "Old Glory will cover you with no health checkup or age consideration. You need to feel safe, and that's harder and harder to do nowadays because robots may strike at any time."

Personal Anecdotes and Light-Hearted Banter

As the conversation flows, Luke and Andrew engage in witty exchanges, showcasing their long-standing friendship and knack for humor. They touch upon amusing personal mishaps and playful jabs, setting a relaxed and entertaining tone for the episode.

Andrew Walsh [01:56]: "Was my underwear showing when I was climbing down the tree? I wore my Thursdays because my Saturdays had a case of the Mondays."

Exploring Las Vegas: Billboards and Unseen Sidewalks

Luke shares his recent experience jogging in Las Vegas, highlighting the stark contrast between the vibrant Strip and the more subdued neighborhoods off it. He comments on the ubiquity of billboards, drawing a parallel to their own show's billboard campaign.

Luke Burbank [02:27]: "I feel warm and I'm levitating. Got out for a little early morning jog here."

Andrew praises their billboard design, noting its positive reception despite its quirky nature.

Andrew Walsh [05:02]: "The reaction has been this is amazing and totally useless. And I think that is honestly not a bad iTunes review you could leave for us."

Technology Troubles: The Frustration with Intrusive Prompts

The hosts vent their frustrations about intrusive technology, particularly criticizing Microsoft's aggressive marketing and AI integrations that disrupt their user experience.

Andrew Walsh [07:17]: "Microsoft, I know this is a huge shift in the conversation. [...] that is sleazy. We have crossed a line, Microsoft."

Luke Burbank [09:04]: "Every time that you and I dial up this little Internet connection to talk to each other, it tries to activate my camera."

They discuss the annoyance of persistent prompts and the deterioration of user interface experiences, emphasizing a desire for more streamlined and less invasive technology.

Social Media Encounters: From Digital to Reality

Andrew shares an awkward encounter with an online acquaintance from a Mariners fan group, illustrating the challenges of translating digital relationships into real-life interactions.

Andrew Walsh [21:24]: "That's one of the most awkward interactions I've ever had."

Luke empathizes, reflecting on similar experiences and the complexities of modern online friendships.

UFC Coverage: Beyond the Profile

Shifting gears, Luke delves into his assignment to cover Dana White and the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC). He expresses concerns about the potential focus on Dana White as an individual rather than exploring the broader cultural impact of the UFC.

Luke Burbank [45:21]: "We are going to be back here tomorrow [...] Go Mariners and Twins."

Andrew supports Luke's decision to concentrate on the UFC's cultural influence over personal profiles, highlighting the nuanced approach needed for such coverage.

Andrew Walsh [58:48]: "But, being someone not into physical fighting sports, I just don't like seeing flesh hit flesh like that."

They discuss the ethical and strategic considerations of covering aggressive sports phenomena and the fine line between entertainment and exploitation.

Flight Fiascoes: Stressful Encounters in the Sky

Luke recounts a particularly stressful flight experience involving a passenger violating safety protocols by using the bathroom during landing. The incident escalates as the passenger nonchalantly returns to their seat amidst tumultuous landing maneuvers.

Luke Burbank [42:00]: "There is a person in the bus shelter who looks like she's probably, you know, maybe coming down off of something."

Andrew adds color to the story, comparing the passenger's calm demeanor to the chaos unfolding during the landing process.

Andrew Walsh [44:46]: "I was like, that's a flex."

The Evolution of Slap Fighting: From High School to Power Slap

A discussion emerges about the origins of slap fighting, tracing its roots from a high school game to its portrayal in popular media like "How I Met Your Mother." Andrew speculates on the cultural transmission of such aggressive pastimes into organized entertainment like "Power Slap."

Andrew Walsh [58:38]: "Does history remember this show? Is this, like, well known?"

Luke Burbank [63:23]: "Every guy in Power Slap is named Butch, by the way."

This segment underscores the trivialization and commercialization of aggression in modern entertainment, prompting reflections on societal values.

Closing Remarks: Balancing Humor and Insight

As the episode draws to a close, Luke and Andrew reflect on their discussions, appreciating the blend of humor and thoughtful commentary that defines their show. They tease upcoming content and reinforce their commitment to providing engaging conversations for their listeners.

Luke Burbank [64:22]: "Please remember, no mountain too tall."

Andrew Walsh [64:33]: "Luck to all. Power out."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Luke Burbank [00:11]: "Darren and I have a policy with Old Glory Insurance that covers us in case we're attacked by robots."

• Andrew Walsh [01:56]: "Was my underwear showing when I was climbing down the tree? I wore my Thursdays because my Saturdays had a case of the Mondays."

• Andrew Walsh [05:02]: "The reaction has been this is amazing and totally useless. And I think that is honestly not a bad iTunes review you could leave for us."

• Andrew Walsh [07:17]: "Microsoft, I know this is a huge shift in the conversation. [...] that is sleazy. We have crossed a line, Microsoft."

• Luke Burbank [09:04]: "But I also got a new computer over here. And every time that you and I dial up this little Internet connection to talk to each other, it tries to activate my camera."

• Andrew Walsh [21:24]: "That's one of the most awkward interactions I've ever had."

• Luke Burbank [45:21]: "We are going to be back here tomorrow [...] Go Mariners and Twins."

• Andrew Walsh [58:48]: "But, being someone not into physical fighting sports, I just don't like seeing flesh hit flesh like that."

• Luke Burbank [42:00]: "There is a person in the bus shelter who looks like she's probably, you know, maybe coming down off of something."

• Andrew Walsh [44:46]: "I was like, that's a flex."

• Andrew Walsh [58:38]: "Does history remember this show? Is this, like, well known?"

• Luke Burbank [63:23]: "Every guy in Power Slap is named Butch, by the way."

• Luke Burbank [64:22]: "Please remember, no mountain too tall."

• Andrew Walsh [64:33]: "Luck to all. Power out."

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Conclusion

In this episode of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live, Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh navigate a tapestry of topics ranging from the humorous implications of robot insurance to the gritty realities of Las Vegas life. Their candid discussions on technology frustrations, social media dynamics, and the cultural nuances of the UFC offer listeners a blend of laughter and insightful commentary. The hosts' ability to intertwine personal anecdotes with broader societal observations underscores the unique charm of their daily show. As always, Luke and Andrew leave their audience with a smile, eagerly anticipating the next episode's adventures.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

It's so hard nowadays with all the gangs and rap music. What about robots?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, they're everywhere. I don't even know why the scientists make them.

[Luke Burbank]

Darren and I have a policy with Old Glory Insurance that covers us in case we're attacked by robots.

[Sam Waterston]

An insurance policy with a robot plan?

[Luke Burbank]

Mm.

[Sam Waterston]

Certainly I'm too old.

[Luke Burbank]

Old Glory covers anyone over the age of 50 against robot attack, regardless of current health.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sam.

[Sam Waterston]

I'm Sam Waterston of the popular TV series Law & Order. As a senior citizen, you're probably aware of the threat robots pose. Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel. Well, now there's a company that offers coverage against the unfortunate event of a robot attack. Old Glory Insurance. Old Glory will cover you with no health checkup or age consideration. You need to feel safe, and that's harder and harder to do nowadays because robots may struggle strike at any time. And when they grab you with those metal claws, you can't break free because they're made of metal and robots are strong. Now, for only $4 a month, you can achieve peace of mind in a world full of crime and robots with Old Glory Insurance. So don't cower under your Afghan any longer. Make a choice. Old Glory Insurance for when the metal ones decide to come for you. And they will.

[Andrew Walsh]

Tbt.

[Luke Burbank]

We've got another week to. To get back on the horse, you know, and take that horse to the water. And you can ask that horse. You can say, hey, horsey, do you want. Do you want to have a drink or do you want to swim? Yeah. And it's up to that horse to then realize what he wants to do in his life. I like it. Each sentence so rife with information.

[Andrew Walsh]

Go on, please. Was my underwear showing when I was climbing down the tree? I wore my Thursdays because my Saturdays had a case of the Mondays, if.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what I mean. Beep.

[Andrew Walsh]

Be ribby, ribby. You are legit crazy.

[Luke Burbank]

You are losing your marbles. Oh, won't somebody please think of the children? Well, all right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Wednesday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. It's like someone punching your brain, but in a weirdly satisfying way. My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah, buddy. Coming to you from Tropicana Boulevard and coval way here in very, very toasty Las Vegas, Nevada. I feel warm and I'm levitating. Got out for a little early morning jog here. It's very Interesting being in this town when you're not here for recreating, when you're just. When you're here working and so you're sort of out of the. I guess you may be a sort of partying industrial complex. So therefore you might actually wake up at seven in the morning and try to get a jog in. And I'm not gonna say it's not a smug feeling. It's not. Not that. To be out running around and seeing people blearily getting back to their hotels and thinking, I made good decisions. Last night I doordashed some Greek food and researched the UFC until a reasonable hour and then got up early. It's not an experience that I usually have in Las Vegas, but I was having it this morning. So here we are, folks. We've made it to episode 4496 in a collector series.

[Sam Waterston]

Let the fun begin.

[Luke Burbank]

I was researching the Ultimate Fighting Championship because that's what I'm here, I guess, reporting on. We're doing a TV story about the UFC fight this weekend and also the UFC's president, Dana White.

[Andrew Walsh]

The combustion becomes an explosion.

[Luke Burbank]

I've been talking about this on the show, how sort of my thoughts about it and how I want to try to sort of handle this whole thing. It's not the typical story that we do for CBS Sunday Morning, and I've arrived at a certain. I don't know what you call it, in a certain awareness about everything. I'm feeling actually pretty good going into this interview and going into this week, other than the fact that I do have to watch part power slap in person. And I really don't know how I'm gonna feel about that. Just not as a journalist, but as a person who doesn't know if they want to see someone getting slapped in the face by someone else. I don't know if that's what I want to see, but maybe I can explore that topic and many others with my good friend, the longest running cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ship. Speaking of faces, he has one. Look at this face. What do you see? And I would never power slap it. He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning, Luke. That's one of the. That's one of the nicest introductions I've ever received. Speaking of faces, he has one.

[Luke Burbank]

He has one.

[Andrew Walsh]

I feel welcome to be here. I appreciate.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what the verified face Haver has logged on everybody.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. And by the way, Mere Moments ago, as we're recording this, the TBT billboard design dropped in people's email boxes. Speaking of face, the reviews are in and people seem to be psyched about the billboard which will be appearing along the side of. What is it? It's Wisconsin Route 21 there near the 13 juncture, I believe, outside of Wisconsin.

[Luke Burbank]

Great job on the early newsletter release this week, I guess. Let me ask you this, Andrew. If someone had not subscribed to the TBTL newsletter and they went to do it today, would they. They probably wouldn't get today's newsletter. They'd probably start with next week's.

[Andrew Walsh]

Presumably they would have to start with next week's, which was why it was very important to get your subscript. But I mean, we don't have to be totally withholding about this either. I can make it the. The show pick today or something.

[Luke Burbank]

There you go. Oh, good. We can get.

[Andrew Walsh]

We can let.

[Luke Burbank]

But you should subscribe to the newsletter because it's a delight. Andrew, I was really. Yesterday, as I was reading your draft of the message of the newsletter, I was. I was tickled. You did a really nice job with that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thanks. I'm excited. There are photos there. It's not just the design. The original idea was just to unveil the design that we made, but now we actually have a few photos or a couple of photos of the billboard as stands in the wild. That's what's in the newsletter. It's. It's pretty thrilling. Like, is it worth now trying to describe what it looks like or should we just make it the show? Pick and let people.

[Luke Burbank]

Let's make it the show.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. Yeah. But it is. It is really thrilling. And again, a testament to whatever the opposite of marketing is. I mean, that's really the amazing thing.

[Luke Burbank]

The.

[Andrew Walsh]

The reaction has been this is amazing and totally useless. And I think that is honestly not a bad itunes review you could leave for us.

[Luke Burbank]

Meanwhile, as I've been here in Las Vegas and really in. In LA as well yesterday, but particularly here, because I. There might be. People may get into a legal scrap or two here in Las Vegas. Andrew, I have seen so many billboards that are essentially what our billboard is kind of sort of parodying. Parodying or sort of, you know, an homage to. I'm seeing them everywhere. I'm seeing lots and lots of billboards. I'm going, oh, that's. That's. That's the. You know, that's the genesis of our billboard idea.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. It's very. It's definitely of a type by the way I just got a pop up on my computer. I'm sorry for being distracted, but it was something like I was like, oh, no, what is this pop up? Is somebody trying to reach me in the middle of the show? Is this important? Is this family related? No, it was something called, like Avengers of Power. Like, why is my computer trying to sell me stuff? Like, what the heck was that?

[Luke Burbank]

I just got like, wait a second, the actual computer?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, the computer itself, like down in the bottom right hand corner. Now, keep in mind, I'm a PC guy, and so maybe this argues against PCs, because I got to say, this kind of encroachment, this, this kind of commercial encroachment into my computer lifestyle once I've already bought the product really irritates me and should not be allowed. And I will say I've been pretty happy with all of my PCs and Microsoft stuff over the years. But like, Microsoft, I know this is a huge shift in the conversation. We can move on after I get this off my chest. Microsoft has been doing something lately, like past several years where they'll say, hey, you need to do an update, right? Critical update that happens on all computers. Microsoft always prides itself on being one step ahead of the hackers or whatever. So they're always doing security updates. Okay, fine, you got me bought into that system. But now what they do is, along with those updates, it's like you, you're qualified for Microsoft 360 or all these other programs I don't want, and you have to say no to the machine like three times. Like three times. While you're just doing. You're living your life. You just want to use your computer. And then it's like, well, we need to do a shutdown. Okay, do a quick shutdown. And then it's like, are you sure you don't want to buy this? Are you sure? Are you sure? And I'm like, that is. That's sleazy. We have crossed a line, Microsoft. I don't like it, and I'm not buying Power Avengers 3.

[Luke Burbank]

This is much less annoying than that. But I've also got a new computer over here. And every time that you and I dial up this little Internet connection to talk to each other, it tries to activate. It wants me to do some kind of a thing with the FaceTime camera. So you and I, when I'm at my house, the normal studio, we're looking at each other on camera. We're not doing that today because of the Internet connectivity, but basically it activates my camera. When we talk to each other so we can see each other. But there's some other thing it wants me to do, which I think involves some kind of AI bullshit. It's like, activate FaceTime highlights or like it wants to. I don't know if it's like record us and then animate us and then sell it to the Chinese. I don't know what the thing is, but what I know is I don't want to do it, whatever it is, and it comes up every time. But here's the thing. There is a small X in the corner of the bubble. So this thing pops up, by the way, it also obscures a significant portion of the screen. And guess what happens when you click on the X to close this prompt out, Andrew?

[Andrew Walsh]

It opens it up.

[Luke Burbank]

It. No, it does nothing. Oh, there's no getting rid of it. And then I think eventually it just kind of goes away on its own. You can't X out of it. And I don't want to click on it because I don't want to know.

[Andrew Walsh]

You don't want to start down whatever that road is. Yeah, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

So it's like this is just happening more and more and it's. It's definitely making the UX less good.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know what I just realized? We're the old people in the intro tape we just heard from Saturday night live from 1990.

[Luke Burbank]

No, we're not. No, we're not. Because we both have robot insurance.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

We both have old glory robot insurance.

[Andrew Walsh]

We already got the insurance. Right. We were, we were smart and young.

[Luke Burbank]

But we're way ahead of that because robots steal old people's medicine for their food. We're one of the first shows to call that out. So no, we're actually not them at all, Andrew. We are young and cool. I will say relevant.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let me give one. Put up to technology, because my phone, My phone is only about, I don't know, a month old or something. And so it is. You know, the phone that I had prior was about six years old, was before everything became AI and before everything was trying to push you into some sort of an AI, I don't know, helper that you don't need, you know, and like, I don't even. I'm not on some grand. I'm not on some sort of soapbox anti AI stuff. Like, I know some people, it's like a real. It's a real concern for them. And I'm not saying I love it, but like, I'm not going around complaining about AI's impact on the culture. I'm just talking about my user experience. Like, it's such a buzzword now. And it's such a, I don't know, new toy that they just want to, like, force you to use in every aspect of your digital life. Every aspect. And so my phone is constantly saying, well, why don't. Why don't you use this AI thing? And I'm always like, I don't need it. I'm just. I. I'm just intelligent. Anyway, I'm not. But there is one thing that I do like about it, which is you can just press a button on the phone and then circle anything on the phone and it'll automatically look it up on Google, just like, visually speaking. So yesterday I used it for the first time, like, in earnest. Yesterday, we were. Those of us who are on the fun loving criminals sports text chain. We're going back and forth, of course, the Mariners are facing the Minnesot Twins, and we have Twins fans and Mariners fans on the same chain.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a tough week only because if the Mariners do well, which they did yesterday, then it hurts our friend the Steubot.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah, buddy.

[Luke Burbank]

And if the Twins do well, well, it hurts all of us. The rest of us.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes and yes. But everybody's being very gentle. We're all loving. Nobody wants to hurt the Steubot and the Stubbot doesn't want to hurt us. But the Mariners did win yesterday, and somebody gently said, go, Mariners. Sorry, Stu. And Stu.

[Luke Burbank]

That was David from the basement.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. Very, very sweet. And Stu just sent a photo of a woman sitting at a bar, like, kind of a cowboy bar with a cowboy.

[Luke Burbank]

You know who the woman is, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, no, I didn't. In the moment. She looks familiar to me. This is kind of ironic in TBT lore, isn't it? And because it was like, it was clearly from a photo shoot. It's clearly a magazine photo shoot. Sort of an arty little photo of a woman as kind of like, is this some sort of chapel roan thing? Pre chap. Because she was kind of wearing pink but a cowboy hat. But I was way off on that. I used this function. I pushed the button and I just circled the photo as it appeared in my text chain. Just circled it. And Google was like, oh, that's. What's her name? Nicole Kidman. That's Nicole Kidman from a. And it immediately said, that is Nicole Kidman from a photo shoot from, like, whatever magazine. And it was pretty old.

[Luke Burbank]

Now, somehow heartbreak feels good in a place like this.

[Andrew Walsh]

What Was that from 2018 or 2017? So it's getting. Getting kind of old. And I was like, oh, of course. That's my old nemesis, Nicole Kidman. And. And it was really, really cool. Luke. I just want to go through life circling everything now and saying, what's this?

[Luke Burbank]

I like that that is there for you now because, again, we've talked about your face blindness and. Because when I made that joke. So what happened was the Mariners won a pretty dramatic game. They won in the ninth inning. I was very excited here in my hotel room, holed up with my door dashed Greek food. And I wanted to sort of be celebratory on the text chain, but I also didn't want Stu Bot to feel sad. And so David, my brother said something like, you know, whatever. He said, go, Mariners, or sorry, Stu. And then. And then Stu put that picture in, which was Nicole Kidman. And then I responded, somehow heartbreak feels good in a place like this. And my first thought was, I wonder how many people in the text chain are going to clock that that's Nicole Kidman? Because it's not classic Nicole Kidman from, let's say, I don't know, days of Thunder or something where it's like, she's got. Like you said, she's got a hat on. It's very stylized. So then I was like, are. Are people on this text chain gonna just think that I'm just randomly throwing. And also, maybe they don't even. Maybe they're not even up on that joke. Maybe there are very few jokes that Stu's not up on.

[Andrew Walsh]

Stu def. I. I don't think they're. With the exception of possibly me, but I had already circled and identified it as Nicole Kidman by the time your joke came in. I don't think there's anybody on that chain who is confused about what you were doing there.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe Sam. Maybe my brother Sam. Only because he is terminally online, I think, in different ways than I am. Like, I don't know if that. I don't think he listens to TV TL on the regular, which has been a bit of an issue in our friendship.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's weird. Know about the billboard hunt and.

[Luke Burbank]

And brotherhood? No. And don't spoil it for him. He thinks it's in Bono, Utah. But, like, probably of the people on that text chain, the only one who probably wouldn't be up on that would be Sam, because again, he's. He's online, but he's not. Like, he's not. I don't think he's reading. You know, I don't know where the. The sort of Nicole Kidman, you know, they, they had that intro video that was playing in. Was it amc?

[Andrew Walsh]

Still is, my dude. Still is. I just saw it at the last movie I was at. I'm not joking. They might have tightened it a little bit, but it's still Nicole Kidman walking in in that glittery pantsuit and those high heels and sitting down in a theater and saying that somehow there it is.

[Luke Burbank]

Heartbreak feels good in a place like.

[Andrew Walsh]

It has become, like it's become such a tradition now. We're. Well, that was started.

[Luke Burbank]

Don't people like lip, like lip dub it? People sing along to it like it's a Rocky Horror Picture show now.

[Andrew Walsh]

I had heard that that became a thing on TikTok or something. I haven't witnessed that in person, but yeah, I feel like when that eventually fades away, I would love it if amc. What's it been, Luke? It's. The theaters probably started to reopen slowly in 2021 and that was like sort of part of that campaign of like, come back to the theater, everybody. So let's just say that that thing is like four years old now, still running. I bet you they did not expect it to run that long. And I would love it if we get to the 15 year mark and they're just playing it like no changes, no edits, just like just keep rolling it out. I think people really love it now. It's a touch. It's a touchstone.

[Luke Burbank]

It's become the new. Let's all go to the lobby.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, right. Only more serious.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, right. Although more heartbreak sort of focus. No, but I think you're absolutely right. I'm sure that it was meant to be, you know, it was meant to run for six months or a year or something. And then because it became unexpectedly iconic, but not for the reasons they intended. Again. Yeah, people like making whole, you know, making half of the trip to the movie theater to watch that Nicole Kidman thing and then, you know, do some kind of silly memeification of it. They were like, okay, well let's just keep. Let's keep this going. Then eventually you, you start with it being sort of unironically funny and then ironically funny and then eventually unironically, just part of the experience of, of going to the movie theater where it's not even. You're not throwing popcorn at the screen or singing along. It just now tells you, hey, I'm about to watch a movie.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's really funny when she screams Chicken jockey at the end of it.

[Luke Burbank]

I was going to say that, but I didn't know if we'd already forgotten that. To the sands of time. Speaking of TikTok, I got to tell you, this is a hyper specific reference that will be very. Not only lost on Sam, but lost on you. Maybe even lost on Nicole Kidman, if she's listening, and I assume she is. I had a kind of a. Just a weird experience this morning out on my little. My little morning jog, which was there was somebody doing like yoga. I was running on Tropicana. And boy, let me tell you, Andrew, in Las Vegas, when you get. I'm not staying on the Strip this trip. I'm staying like a little bit off the Strip just at like a Westin. Getting them bond, living that bonvoy life. And when you are off the Strip by about two to three blocks, it drops off real quick in terms of, let's just say, the time, energy and money that are being put into keeping things looking real spick and span. I mean, I don't know if there's another place that I can think of in America where the difference between the place where we're putting all the money and making, you know, faux Eiffel Towers and fountains and like opulence, that's unbelievable. The drop off between that and one block away from that is more stark than Las Vegas.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, Yeah, I could see that.

[Luke Burbank]

And I'm so. It's early in the morning. It's already, by the way, like 90 degrees at 7:00am so that's, that's good. And I see a guy. This was on this real kind of dingy strode called Kovel and Covell.

[Andrew Walsh]

When you said it before, I made.

[Luke Burbank]

It before, I immediately thought it was Covell Drive. And there is a guy, there's a person, and they're bent over in a very odd angle. They're just totally by themselves and they're on their back, but they're bent, but they're like on their back, but with their legs very stiffly kind of. They're basically doing a yoga pose. It turns out this is what I realize as I get closer they're doing at 7 in the morning with. With nobody around. They are doing an like an extremely challenging yoga pose just on as these cars are just barreling by. Like the. The last place on earth you would ever do that. And I realize it is a guy that I have seen on TikTok many times who like has green hair and kind of like his whole thing is he sort of like Looks like the Joker. Like that's his thing. He's got. I'm looking him up right now. He's got like half a million followers on TikTok. It has always been unclear to me what this guy's deal is. Like, is he suffering a mental health crisis? It'll be a lot of him shirtless. He's very sinewy shirtless with his green hair and he's got sort of like some gold grill in and he'll always be in. Like, sometimes he'll be in a fancy car, sometimes he's in Europe, sometimes he's in New York City. He's in all these different places. Again, he's usually shirtless and very tan. He's always being kind of, sort of a little bizarre, which is why I wondered about his sort of mental health status. But, you know, hundreds and thousands of likes and follows on his videos and like a kind of a person who's got a pretty big profile on there who's just doing yoga at seven in the morning with what appeared to be all of his worldly possessions, a skateboard and like more luggage, you know, like more backpacks and stuff than you normally just carry around. Like an amount that's like, this is, this is, you know, this is the stuff that I have in the world right now. Like, it was, it was like a, it was like a, it was like a star sighting for me, but of the most odd in 2025 variety. I'm like, that's the Joker guy out here right now, appearing to be maybe unhoused, but also doing yoga at seven, not filming it, by the way. This did not appear to be for the, for the gram, for the content. Just this is just this guy doing this thing out in the middle of nowhere. And I bizarrely kind of know who he is.

[Andrew Walsh]

That, that must have been mind blowing. I'm with you.

[Luke Burbank]

Really, really weird.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, there's so much hanging on that as well, including like this guy is sort of lot in life and stuff too. But even aside from that, I've often thought about what it would be like if I ran into somebody that I have like kind of a parasocial relationship with online. I don't know if that's maybe painting too strong of a picture of your relationship with this guy, but just people that I follow now. You know, my stories on this are going to get less and less relatable as I continue to.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, not as relatable as possibly mental ill, mentally ill joker guy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I just mean that, like I, I think for me, it was when I was on Instagram and now I'm not on Instagram anymore. There are some people who I would still be surprised to see in person because I have like an online relationship with them. Like some of the folks on the just kind of the general Mariners community on Blue sky, like they're actually before his Blue sky. And I think it was Twitter. There was somebody who I followed who was a big Mariners fan who's kind of like known in Mariners fan circles, named Brittany. And she's also. I know that she's a mutual friend of some people that I know, but I'd never met her before. Maybe we had gone back and forth on some sort of Mariners related thing online. I had no idea if she knew who I was, but I was in like whatever they call like Edwards Cantina there at T Mobile park one time.

[Luke Burbank]

Edgar's.

[Andrew Walsh]

Edgar's. What did I say? Oh, no. What did I say, Edward? Oh, what did I say? Can we start the show over? Did I just say Edwards Cantina?

[Luke Burbank]

Oh my God, it's a light bat.

[Andrew Walsh]

I. That's really embarrassing. But anyway, Edgar's Cantina there and I ran into her and she has a very distinct look and I'm like, oh, you're. You're Britney. But then I had nothing after that. She was very nice and said hello and then I was waiting to meet up.

[Luke Burbank]

I think that Britney has been to a TBTL baseball eventually.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, no.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, Then she has more of an awareness of this little world than I thought.

[Luke Burbank]

I think. Or, you know, I. I'm thinking it might have been a TBTL event or maybe it was just baseball with friends, but I have a specific memory of sitting and talking to that person you're describing about the Mariners and stuff after being at some kind of a, you know, the game. And then we walk down to somewhere in Pioneer Square.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that's funny. Well, she had been part of a Marine or a TBTL thing. Even if it was before my time. I wish I had known that because I just have never know. Like if you follow me on Blue sky, there's nothing that indicates I host any podcasts or do. There's nothing back to that at all.

[Luke Burbank]

Back to that hyper promotion mode we're always in.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know, like, and I just, you know, I haven't really considered this much, but if it's not. It wasn't a conscious choice I made. I've just never. Or I often just don't put that stuff in my bio. But in a certain way, maybe I Kind of. Maybe I kind of like that. Like on Blue Sky. I don't know. Well, now I'm just going to get corny. But, like, I don't know. Like, on Blue Sky. I'm not a guy with a podcast. I'm just a guy who likes the Mariners. I don't know. Like, I just kind of. I kind of. Maybe I never thought about this until this very moment, but maybe I sort of like that dichotomy a little bit. But I definitely. When I ran into her, I remember it being very awkward. So I was just like, I just see you all the time.

[Luke Burbank]

Right?

[Andrew Walsh]

I didn't say that, but I was sort of thinking that. And then it was really awkward because I was waiting for friends, and she was standing there by herself. It was honestly one of the most awkward interactions I've ever had. And it was 100% on me saying something. 100 on me. She was very nice. I was like, oh, hi. Oh, I think we're like Twitter friends or something. She's like, oh, yeah, hey. And then I. I think I just stopped talking, and she said, well, who are you? Or something like that. And then eventually I just walked four feet away from her and stood there by myself.

[Luke Burbank]

I know that there.

[Andrew Walsh]

And while I waited for my friend to show up and she waited for her friends. Anyway, that's one weird example.

[Luke Burbank]

But I whip out my phone and answer a pretend phone call, which is increasingly becoming a terrible ruse because who's even calling anyone anymore?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And you're just like, buy, buy, sell, sell. What am I talking about? But anyway, there are just certain people that I feel like I have this digital relationship with that I think it would just, like, even if I've never interacted with them before, it would sort of blow me away if I just ran into them IRL or saw them irl. Even if they're not, like, somebody who's particularly famous or even tal. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

And because this guy is in a very, very weird sort of part of my brain, which is. I don't follow him. I'm not a fan of his work. I'm more like. It would come up in my for you page, and I would just be like. I would spend time considering the existence of this person. Just kind of like, is he okay? Is he making money off this? You know, you'd think that if you have 450,000 followers on TikTok, that's. That seems like you could monetize that. Right? And I'd see him sometimes. He'd be in these very fancy Cars. And I'd be like, is that his car or is he just videotaping with it? Like I said, sometimes he just would be in these different places. He'd be in Times Square. It would seem that people kind of knew who he was. So it's like, I'm so far from being a fan of his. But again, it's somebody who, like, when I put it together who this person was and then what they were doing, it was so random.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, it was like this guy. And you're in a. You're not in a. You know what I mean? You know, Vegas, but you're also not, like, on your home turf either.

[Luke Burbank]

No, in fact, it would. The whole thing was so right after I pass this guy, then I get closer to a bus stop. This is on Ms. Covell. And the street, not the person. That's gross. Get your minds out of the gutter. And I'm. There's a bus stop, there's a bus shelter. And there is a person in the bus shelter who looks like she's probably, you know, maybe coming down off of something. Or a person who's kind of, like, very crashed out in the. In the bus shelter who looks like they might be, you know, unhoused. And then a guy waiting for the bus, and I. It's a very narrow sidewalk. And so I go behind the bus shelter, which means I'm kind of running on some little, like, rocks. Some little, like, landscaping rock or something. And I look over and realize the guy who was standing at the bus stop is now running next to me and saying stuff to me that I can't hear because I have my headphones in, and I'm just kind of giving him a thumbs up. And he runs for easily three quarters of a block with me. And I'm like. And he's not in running clothes, Andrew. And he doesn't. Like, he's not. Like, he doesn't look like he's trying to harm me, but he also doesn't look like he's 100. He. He was in. He was in clothing that made me think this was a person who was at one of the casinos maybe or somewhere around here. And then, like, maybe did a. Too much of some kind of a thing and is still on it. But it was weird because he.

[Andrew Walsh]

He.

[Luke Burbank]

Again, he. He ran with me for, like, half a block. And I was like, how are we going to get out of this one, bird?

[Andrew Walsh]

And he's like, he's trying to interact with you this whole time, too.

[Luke Burbank]

Or he's kind of Saying stuff. He's kind of, I'm giving him a thumbs up and he's kind of giving me a thumbs up back. But he's also kind of saying these. His eyes are kind of wild, but he's also dressed pretty normally. Like he didn't have all his worldly possessions with him. He kind of looked more like a guy who maybe again was on something that he took recreationally as opposed to like, because his life is consumed with this. I'm making a lot of assumptions about the guy, but like I'm just telling you, in the course of 10 minutes on this run, I see green haired joker guy doing yoga. Another guy runs with me for half a block. I was like, this town is. This town needs an enema.

[Andrew Walsh]

Luke, I just realized something. Las Vegas is the E line of cities.

[Luke Burbank]

You are so particularly Koval Street. You are so right. You are so right. So very, very right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like you're just like, people are trying to interact with you. You're like, can I ignore this one? I will say that is one of the advantages of mostly wearing my big over the ear headphones is, you know, I'm not saying that I'm curt or unfriendly with everybody who tries to interact with me, you know, out in public in some way. You know, like there are plenty of people, hey, do you have change? Do you, you know, whatever. Like, you know, depending on my mood, I will engage to whatever degree I'm comfortable doing in that moment. Right. But sometimes it's just really nice to have those big ass headphones on over your ears and you know, somebody is trying to get your attention but you have not made eye contact with them yet and you have just. Absolutely. I'm trying to think of the just. There's a particular term I'm trying to think of here, but you just have plausible deniability. Literally the term I'm looking for. Yes. Just like as long as you don't make eye contact, you are just fine. Because it's like, I don't know, the guy's blasting loud music and those giant ass headphones he's wearing. Also, I'm just realizing the same basic tactic I used when I worked in like a cubicle farm in a public radio station.

[Luke Burbank]

I was going to say you're pulling the exact move I did at kuow.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Certain employees who I didn't really know how to respond to would, would enter the workspace. I would put those headphones on sometimes, maybe open up a program and saw.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, exactly. Sorry, I can't Hear you. I'm listening to a cut and copy from the educated, the Board of Education meeting last night.

[Luke Burbank]

I am. I had a little moment of that kind of thing yesterday on my flight over here because, remember, I flew Southwest from. And that was a whole experience, because I probably might fly Southwest once every four or five years when it is the only way to get from. Not even because it's so terrible, but because obviously I'm an Alaska Airlines man, like my father and his father. By the way, speaking of my father, Happy birthday, Walt.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, nice. Happy birthday, Walt.

[Luke Burbank]

B. Having a birthday today.

[Andrew Walsh]

We usually save those for Thursdays. Luke, just.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, so what's. Because I do so much traveling, and particularly I fly. I do fly out of Burbank a lot now or into Burbank. I realized that I was only familiar with one part of the airport. I was familiar with the part of the airport that Alaska Airlines uses. And so, first of all, yesterday I was like, where even am I in this? Like, this is crazy town. And all it is is just a different terminal in Burbank. And then when we landed in Vegas, same thing. It's like part of McCarran actually. Did they change the name? Is it Harry Reid now? I think. What part of Harry Reid is this? And it's like, oh, no, this is. This is Southwest land. It's like being in Shelbyville instead of Springfield. It's like everything is kind of the same, but different. And so the. On the flight, though, because, you know, sorry about all of the folderal out there.

[Andrew Walsh]

I only hear. I don't know if the listeners will end up being able to hear, but I do hear a little bit of sirens or something going on in the background. Is that what's happening?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, it's a paramedic rescue. It's an ambulance that is steaming down Tropicana on its way to something or other. This is such a mean thing for me to say. I realized something, by the way, yesterday. Sorry, I know I'm all over the map. I realized something the other day when I was walking around on Sunset in Los Angeles trying to get a charger for my iPhone. I. And there was so many different loud vehicles, and sometimes it was like a motorcycle that was intentionally loud where I just felt visceral rage. Sometimes it was a car that's like a muscle car because, you know, Sunset's obviously a very busy road. So if you're walking on it, you're sort of, like, subjected to the noise that the vehicles are making. Sometimes, though, I was getting mad because it was just a car that had a shitty muffler because the people driving it didn't have the money to fix the muffler. Which should not make me as mad as somebody who has intentionally made their vehicle loud or went out and intentionally bought a loud vehicle. Somebody pulling a, you know, Belltown Hellcat kind of situation.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right?

[Luke Burbank]

And I realized I was like, I have a. I have a problem. Which is I. My, my. It is so visceral, the anger that I feel about loud vehicles that I can't explain it other than to say it is much. It is, it is a much stronger reaction than I should have. And this is how far it extends. And this is why I'm saying I'm a bad person. When I hear an ambulance going down the road, my first, and it's making that noise that just was. Which again, barely even picked up on this, you know, probably this microphone, I think that person who they're going to get better be really sick. Like, it's like that better be life saving. We better not be going out there for an ingrown toenail. We better not be going out there for anything that is non life threatening. Because that amount of disruption of my day of. Of 35 seconds is so profound to me. Like, it's so visceral that I then start getting into deciding whether or not I think the person who is getting the medical attention needed to call the ambulance or not. And that is, I understand, a truly unhinged way to analyze the world.

[Andrew Walsh]

You have a. You do have an oversized reaction to especially sound though, right? Do you think that only sounds? Yeah, only sound. Because some people will say senses in general, and there's a term for that, right. When you're especially sensitive to all kinds of sensory input. But it does seem specifically to sound to you. And I'm not trying to say that it's like so outsized that you're. That it's uncomfortable being with you because you're going to fly off the handle when a mouse scurries by or something like that. Although I'm kind of enjoying that picture in my mind too.

[Luke Burbank]

But like, you know, is Stuart Little's motorcycle so loud?

[Andrew Walsh]

The mouse or the Ralph? The mouse in the motorcycle.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, that's the guy.

[Andrew Walsh]

But anyway, yeah, I do remember, and this is a very extreme example. And this was loud to anybody's ears. And this. Oh, yeah, loud. But that time we were in your parking garage when you lived in Portland and we're getting ready to go on the road for a TBT L. A Thon. And we're in the garage packing up or something and then there's this motorcycle with like the loudest non. What do you call the muffler? A non. Muffled tailpipe. It was so loud. Screaming up and down this tiny little street. I don't know if they were trying to sell the motorcycle. Somebody's taking on a test ride. But then it was echoing in the parking garage because it was an open parking garage. It was happening right below, like three stories below. And it was so unbelievably loud. I honestly was not sure if we're going to get you out of there. It seemed like a war movie sort of. You just look like you were becoming somebody else.

[Luke Burbank]

And I think we both kind of went and looked out from the parking garage to just try to understand how that noise could be that loud.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. I remember looking down at that and we got eyes on it eventually. And they just kept on like ripping it up and down this one street.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. But they had definitely done some kind of after marketing thing so that it was. I mean that was without a doubt the loudest motorcycle I've ever heard in my life. Like I can't even really describe it properly. But yeah, I. I admit freely that there's something going on with me. I've read, you know, that. That what isn't supposedly an undiagnosed, maybe ADHD response. I don't know if that's even accurate or not, but I've definitely, like, that's one thing I've read about it. Like there is something because. And again, I'm glad I don't have this power. But when someone rips by me on a super loud motorcycle and I get the feeling that it gives me, like, particularly if I'm walking on the street, it's one thing if I'm in my car, the windows are up, whatever. But like if I. Maybe it also has to do with a certain feeling of vulnerability. You know, I'm walking on a busy road and I'm thinking about one thing and all of a sudden this very loud. What feels to me almost like a violent noise happens. If I could click my fingers and cause that motorcycle to crash right then and there, I would. Like that's the feeling I have in my head which I am not able to act on, thankfully. And hopefully I wouldn't act on it if I was given that doomsday device. But like it is really like it. Something inside me shifts into an extreme response that I totally admit is. Is way out of hand. So anyway, back to Well, I just.

[Andrew Walsh]

Want to say that's, that's why I would say to all the witches and warlocks out there, if you ever have the opportunity to give Luke superpowers of some sort, like, don't do it. He just, he can't control. He's already shown you he can't control his powers. Like, let's not give him these powers.

[Luke Burbank]

Give me the one where I know what number is going to come up in roulette. And can you get that to me by this afternoon? That could come in real. That could get me out of a couple of jams here in old lost Wages, Nevada.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love it when you say that.

[Luke Burbank]

But. So the flight that I took from Burbank to here to Las Vegas was on Southwest, which I already said I rarely do. And because part of it is also I don't really know my way around the Southwest experience, which is to say, you know, it's kind of just like a. It's not a free for all. I mean, your ticket has a, you know, a group assignment. And luckily I was in actually like a pretty. I was in group A. So I kind of had. I didn't have my pick of any seat, but I was in the first maybe 20 people that got on the plane. But you know me, I'm such a super maximizer. I was like in my head thinking, like, okay, what is. What are the 20 best seats on the airplane? Because I'm going to get onto this airplane and, you know, you can sit wherever you want on Southwest. If people don't know that once you're on the plane, any seat that's not taken, you can just go sit in it.

[Andrew Walsh]

There are no. There's no feet class still the deal. I wasn't sure. I thought that they had changed that up. I thought I'd heard stories about like, oh, classic, you know, Southwest practices are going out the window and they're basically going to be like every other, you know, to their perspective, pain in the ass flight. I don't want a Southwest style flight, but I thought they had pulled that back and just.

[Luke Burbank]

I think some of that had to do with charging for luggage but not choosing seats.

[Andrew Walsh]

Huh. It's still left kind of.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, this one I was on. You didn't. Was still a free for all. Although, like I said, I was in. I was in group A, which I think I paid a little. I mean, I didn't, but I think CBS paid a little more money for me to be in group A. But then I'm thinking, as I'm Getting onto the flight, I'm like, okay, you know, what are the. I'm gonna step onto this airplane, and I immediately need to make a decision about what the premium seat is that I'm looking for. And I'm like, is it the exit? Is it one of the exit rows? If those aren't taken? I knew the front row of the plane, like the row one or whatever, which, again, is just coach, but it's just at the front. I knew that was going to be taken. I was like, is it a window? Is it an aisle? Do I like. I was. I became really obsessed with trying to make sure that the second I stepped on the plane, I immediately zeroed in on the most premium seat that was still left. And instead of. What happened was when I got on, I realized that this couple, this kind of older couple that I had been sitting near in the waiting area had taken the aisle and the middle seat of the very front row. And now, normally, the other thing I was thinking was, if I go to the back of the plane, because I don't think it was a totally full flight. I was like, if I go to the back of the plane, maybe then no one will sit by me. That was another thought. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to ask these folks if it's okay if I sit in that window seat. And sure enough, they said. They said, sure, no problem. And so that's where I sat. So I was actually in the very front row of the plane, which is an advantageous place, but I was in a. A row that was kind of packed. And then I kept putting my headphones in because I was listening to music and some other things, and the very nice lady who was in the middle seat kept talking to me, and I kept taking the AirPod out and going, huh, huh. And then, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, pretty warm over there in Vegas. Yeah, sure. Okay. And then I put the AirPod back in. And then, like, a minute would go by, and then it'd be like, oh, I noticed that this person is talking to me again. That I'm taking the AirPod out, and then we're chatting, and I'm like, huh? Yeah. And then I'm putting the AirPod back in. That happened for a good 45 minutes, and then we landed.

[Andrew Walsh]

I do. I'm not saying that it is 100% effective, but I'm telling you over the ear headphones are going to cut down on that. It's just going to tell the world. And you could also just really more actively Pretend like you didn't hear the last interruption, you know, and you just have, again, plausible deniability. That phrase that was right on the tip of my tongue last time I tried to use this example.

[Luke Burbank]

But I mean, somehow plausible deniability feels better in a place like this.

[Andrew Walsh]

Maybe that's a show title. Where's the Bell? But, yeah, I do think that, that I know there are so many things against traveling with over the ear headphones. Like, they're just not as convenient, right? And you got to keep them around your neck if they're not on your ears. Like, I understand that, but God, that is one huge benefit. You just put those things on. You put it on noise canceling, which has gotten lot better. You don't even have to really pretend that much.

[Luke Burbank]

Now, the other thing that happened on the flight was as we're starting to land. So we're now like, we're. We're midway into our final descent, the husband stands up. So we're landing in, I don't know, three minutes. Andrew. Like, we're starting to, like, kind of cruise down over these sort of outer rings of Las Vegas. And the. The husband stands up and then goes for the bathroom. And now is like, in the bathroom. And I'm like, getting so stressed out because I'm like, legally, can they land the plane if somebody's in the bathroom? Like, is that against the rules? Like, do we have to. Are we gonna have to pull up and do another loop or something? What are the FAA implications? I've never seen a person using the bathroom this close to when the plane is landing.

[Andrew Walsh]

And he broke the rules, right? There was already the announcements. Everybody must.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, the announcements had been minutes before. But I mean, I think what. I mean, there's a flight attendant sitting right there. And yeah, I think what must have happened was he really had to go and he got up and he just said to the flight attendant. I don't know what he said. It was out of my field of vision, but I think he must have said, I really have to go. And the flight attendant probably said, beaverly quick.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, like, what are you. What are you going to do? Like, weren't you and I talking about a scenario recently where you just got to tell somebody, like, listen, right now, this is my problem. Let's not make it our problem. You know, like, I need to use that bathroom. Otherwise this is going to be all of our problems.

[Luke Burbank]

So, yeah, I'm guess I don't think that, you know, I'm guessing they let him in, but then it's like, I'm now like, oh, my God. This is like. Also we were banking. You know what I mean? Yeah. There's a point at which I didn't even think about this. But, like, part of why they tell you to sit down and buckle up and everything is because now the pilots know that, like, when you're in the middle of a typical airline flight, you're just kind of cruising along. It's pretty stable. But there is a point when they're getting ready to land where they start, like, turning a lot. They start banking like, like, literally one side of the plane goes dips way down, and one side of the plane goes way up. Because we're like doing a. Like a right hand turn or whatever you call it in aeronautics. And I'm like, this guy's in the.

[Andrew Walsh]

Bathroom right now, tumbling around.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, it's in like one of those, like, upside down houses that you would go to in like, you know, like, like Four Corners, Arizona or something, where it's like you can stand in four different states. And also there's this, like, house that you walk into it, and the sea, the floor is the ceiling and all.

[Andrew Walsh]

Of that, like, gravity.

[Luke Burbank]

Some tourist, like, I was like, this guy. So then I'm. Again, I was really getting kind of anxious for him and for our flight and whatever. And then like, like, seriously, 30 seconds before we touch down, he like, jumps back into his seat, buckles his seatbelt, and then this was the piece covered in filth.

[Andrew Walsh]

Just covered in filth.

[Luke Burbank]

Just dripping toilet water. There's just the wet toilet paper behind his ear. No, he just sits down and I'm thinking, boy, that was, you know, it was a near miss for all of us, sir. I've been. I've. I've logged a lot of miles in these guys. I've never seen that before. And then he just, like, calmly reaches over to the. There's like a little. What do you call it? Like a. Like a sleeve that, you know, you. That's where the safety. The safety instructions are and things like that. I don't think there's a menu on Southwest. I don't think we're listening. We are customers of action. Lies do not become us. I don't think Southwest is trying to do food up there, but he just calmly reaches for that little. That little sleeve or whatever and then pulls out his sudoku, Andrew. Which is, I'd say maybe 200 pages that he's printed out from the Internet.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, interesting.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't mean a book of sudoku. I mean, Loose leaf.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is there a binder clip involved at least?

[Luke Burbank]

There is a binder clip on his loose leaf. Sudoku. And he just goes right back to doing it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Love it, Love it.

[Luke Burbank]

I was like, that's a flex. And I thought, man, that guy must have had to go really bad.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's like the. He's like the James Bond of pooping on planes.

[Luke Burbank]

Shaken, not stirred.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, he was shaken.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hello and welcome to Top Story.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, here I am in Las Vegas, Andrew, to do this story about Dana White and about Ultimate Fighting Championship. Do you want to know a fun fact about the UFC in the early days when that. When it was purchased by the ownership group that was these basically these two rich friends who were high school friends with this guy, Dana White, who I'm talking to. The UFC was such a failure at that point. They didn't even own UFC.com that was owned by user friendly computers.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, of course. Wait, what UFC are you talking about?

[Luke Burbank]

And. And so. And then they tried to do like UFC TV because they didn't have enough money to buy UFC.com from user friendlycomputers.com. and yeah, the thing was really kind of a failure from a sort of profitability standpoint and was these rich guys were burning through their money. They'd like, ended up sinking like $40 million into it. And this guy Dana White had no money. He was their friend who was like, I'll run it. So he was putting sweat equity into it. Can you imagine being these two brothers? It's like 40 million. $40 million in. And Danny keeps telling us this is going to work. But the thing that turned it around for them was they pitched a reality show about the UFC and they got Spike TV to agree to air it if they paid for it, which was another $10 million. So they had to self fund a reality show and then put it on Spike tv and then that took off like a rocket ship and then literally saved this entire organization. Which. Do you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Or does history remember this show? Is this, like, well known?

[Luke Burbank]

Like, I do remember. I didn't ever watch it, but I remembered it being. I think they got lucky that this was still at a time when. Well, that's not true. I think reality TV still bizarrely seems kind of. I don't know what you'd call it. Recession proof. No, you know, it's like, it's hard to get people to watch anything except somehow Bravo is just printing money with like, the Real Housewives and these reality shows, you know, Vanderpump Rules and the like. So but what I was gonna say is this was back in the day when there was a little bit less fracturing of the media. And so, you know, if you had a hit reality show on Spike tv, you know, people were talking about, I remember knowing that it was a thing. But see, the thing is, because of how I grew up, I always sort of knew about the UFC because Peter Williams and I used to rent these videotapes from Blockbuster that were the original UFC fights, which were like, hyper violent. And the whole sales pitch was, well, this is like, you know, you can do anything to the other person. You know, you can gouge them in the eye, you can kick them in their private parties. There's like, there's just no rules, there's no gloves. You know, when you're like a 14 year old kid or something, I guess if you're, you know, some guy got a screw loose like I did, you're like, oh, that sounds interesting. I mean, can't believe they're even allowed to do that. So I was always sort of aware of death.

[Andrew Walsh]

Again, No, I was afraid of that one.

[Luke Burbank]

That one I. That one I never watched. I was way I heard about that when I worked at Dick's Drive. And I was like, that sounds scary to me.

[Andrew Walsh]

That was one of those things where at some point, as an adult, I remembered it because I'd never seen that either. It's just something I heard of. I'm like, wait a second, was that a real thing? Like, I had to, like, at one point, like, verify that this wasn't just some bullshit that the kids made up in 1988.

[Luke Burbank]

I've seen other podcasts, like clips of other podcasts, Andrew, with people of our age debating this exact question. Really not, was it real, but were the people in it? Because the thing was, this was supposedly like a video that was showing people dying in different kind of extreme ways, you know, and the question was, is it real or made up? And I think that the final verdict was, there are some real stuff in there, and then some stage stuff or whatever. But all that is to say, that was way too extreme for me. But the ufc, seeing Keith Hackney punch Joe Sond repeatedly in his balls, that was very much the speed I was looking for. And so I was always kind of aware of the ufc. And I didn't realize that it had, like, you know, basically almost completely failed until it didn't. Until this reality show, which then told a bunch of people who didn't know about it that it was on and that it was a thing. And Then from there their fortunes kind of really took a turn in the right direction. Now I've been stressed about this story because this guy, Dana White, who's the president, CEO of IT is a very, very, very tight friends with Donald Trump. He's very politically active now, I think has spoken at the RNC the last couple of times and is also has been, you know, was caught on tape in a domestic violence incident with his, with his wife. There's just like a lot of stuff about this guy that is way more complicated than, let's say, I don't know who's a recent profile that I've done that's uncontroversial. I don't know, like mayonnaise lady, maybe. Mayonnaise lady. Mayonnaise lady. Very low controversy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, now I know that that's not.

[Luke Burbank]

Really a profile, but, but you know what I mean? Like this kind of stories that this TV show that I work for does usually we're not like. In fact, what I found out about this, this was supposed to be a 60 Minutes piece and through some series of things I don't really understand, it ended up getting instead assigned to our show and then somehow assigned to me. But it's, it definitely feels like if I worked for 60 Minutes, I could do a certain kind of story. Yeah, first of all, I get like 12 minutes to get a lot of time to do the story. And you go in with this, I mean, that's the show that does these kind of much more hard hitting, much more, you might say adversarial or at least very much holding the people we're interviewing accountable for things, you know, and that's not the show that I work on. So I'm like, how is this gonna work? So I did have a conversation with my boss, like the very boss of the whole show who's kind of like, it's sort of like getting audience with the wizard of Oz. Like, like, you know, everyone talks about this person because they have ultimate decision making power, but they're also because they're the boss of the show and they are involved in everything. They're always, they're always busy. It's always hard to get five minutes with them. And like, so anyway, I got five minutes with them and just to say, hey, these are the things that I really want to make sure we're all on the same page with about this story, etc. But also I realized something being here and this is kind of alleviating some of my concern is I actually think the, I think the story is really not about Dana White. I think the story is really about the culture of the UFC and the fact that they're taking over this town for this weekend, as they often do. Thousands, if not, you know, hundreds of thousands of people are flocking to Las Vegas to watch basically sanctioned violence. And. And that's what we're going to report on. It will involve talking to the person who's the president, CEO of it. But I'm thinking of it. But I think I was thinking of it wrong. I was thinking of it as like a profile of this guy. And it's not a profile of this guy. It's a story about what part of the culture UFC exists in and the quote, unquote, manosphere. And the fact that this is a. This is a thing that has a huge amount of sort of influence on a specific kind of person in this country. And, and that's the story. And it involves talking to the person who's in charge of it. But it's not like, it's not like, you know, and there was one thing that was gonna. At one point, the question was like, are we going to get B roll of me gambling with him? And I was like, I don't think that's a particularly journalistic look, even though I do love gambling. Then also it was mentioned that the minimum buy in at this room in the Fountain Blue Hotel where he gambles is 300,000 for a hand. And I thought, I don't think Larry Alardo is going to approve that. So we moved that one off of the list.

[Andrew Walsh]

So, wait, wasn't it on yesterday's show that you said you were. Oh, is. Are you still going to play some game with him? Was it back or.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't think I'm playing a game with him. I think that.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think that's a. I think that's a really good choice. And I didn't want. I wasn't going to bring that up, but I was sort of in the back of my head, like, yeah, but you still are going to, because I know a lot of the pieces that you do that are on, like, less controversial topics. Like, you say you get involved in some way, and yeah, we do a thing. But in this case, like, I don't know, man, I just didn't want to see you paling around. Like, I didn't want to see you, Jimmy Fallon, in this guy.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, you wanted to see a minimum of hair tussling. Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know what I mean? And that kind of like just normalization of just like, hey, we're hanging out, I don't know. And again, it's thing I'm, you know, I don't want to, I don't want to put ideas in your head or whatever, but for whatever it's worth, I'm like, I think that's a good decision on your part.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it's much better. It has my anxiety level much lower now going into this because it's like, I don't think the problem with doing the profile on our show is it's very hard for it to not become essentially the glorification of the person and the subject of the profile. And I don't, I just don't think that's really the story that we should be doing here. I think we should be doing a really accurate, you know, fact based report on a thing that's going on. And then also a person who's kind of at the center of it, but who comes with a lot of really kind of questionable behaviors and things, you know. So yeah, the idea of us also, again, legitimately the, the, this room, that, that, this bat, you know, this private game or whatever that they play baccarat in, it literally is like $300,000 a hand. So I don't know what the thought ever was about me playing it. I don't know, were they gonna, was CBS gonna front that money? You know, like that was not gonna happen anyway, so. And I'm glad it's not happening. I think it's a better look for us as a show and for me and everything. So I guess, I don't know, I don't have a power out to that other than to say I'm, I'm, I'm feeling, I'm feeling a little less anxious about things now. Kind of reframing it in my mind and talking to the producers and just kind of being like very over communicative about what the sort of plan is. I'm also bringing questions, I never do that I have like, I have never sweated over a list of questions like I have for this, this interview that I'm doing in like an hour. Like it's a whole thing like where do we, where we're starting and then where we're kind of like turning up the temperature a little bit with the questions being more direct and then kind of where, you know, how do we take the pressure off a little bit so that we keep the person engaged in the interviews? They're not shutting down. You know, it's like it's a whole dance that I'm not usually doing when I'm talking about mayonnaise.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, are you going to ask him how he feels about whether or not you need eggs in mayonnaise for it to be officially called mayonnaise? I can't. Can of vegan mayonnaise exist at the very end.

[Luke Burbank]

If I feel like we've had a rapport.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, then you can, because I can't lay that out. Yeah, no, don't start out of the gate.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no. Because if that goes wrong, it's like, interview over.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can I just. This is nothing but me complimenting you. But there was a show. Finally, there was a show that you've waited 18 years with. There's a show title that lives in my head from about a month ago that I still think is maybe one of the best show titles, I mean, of all time. I don't know. And I know that it was your joke during the show. Could God make a pizza so healthy even he wouldn't eat it Is one of my favorite shows.

[Luke Burbank]

That's our new. This is the second reference in, like, two or three days. That's our new. Is bowling a sport? Yes, that's what. When you're. When you're just trying to get the phones going on a call in show, that's the question you throw out there. That's the puzzler.

[Andrew Walsh]

So that doesn't really advance the conversation we're having now. It just popped into my head. I'm having one of those days.

[Luke Burbank]

This is the other thing, though, and I'm not trying to be dramatic about this. Like, one of the things that we're scheduled to go film is this. I guess we'll call it a sport called Power Slap, which the UFC owns and which they're, you know, promoting and which they had a TV deal. It was on, like, TBS or something. Here's what's kind of interesting about. And Power Slap is exactly what it sounds like. It's two people standing across a small little table from each other, and one person slaps the other person, and then the other person gets 60 seconds to recuperate and then slap the other person. And then somebody either gets knocked out or somehow the judges judge who slapped better based on some criteria. It is, you know, the real. I'm not. I'm not an overly. I don't think I'm an overly sensitive person about stuff like this. Like, I. I don't know. I mean, I think boxing is a very. Is very complicated thing, but I've certainly watched plenty of boxing in my life, and I found a lot of it, to be, to be honest with you, quite entertaining and intriguing. I'm not. I'm not somebody who I think is quick to say this should be an illegal thing for two consenting adults to be a part of. But, like, I mean, just the. The sort of raw aggression of this and the fact that there just appears to be zero strategy, I don't know why strategy matters to me. But, like, even with. With MMA or with the ufc, you know, people would say, well, the problem with ultimate fighting is it's just. It's so violent. And, yes, it is. Sometimes. It is also incredibly strategic. There's a ton of grappling and jiu jitsu that goes into it, and every. The other person does something, and then you make a decision based on that, and then they do something. There's this whole series of decisions that you're constantly making. It is, I think, very strategic, which, for some reason, in my mind, gives it a little bit more legitimacy. But, like, I actually don't know if I want to sit in a room. I don't know. I don't know what my physical and my kind of emotional reaction will be to sitting in a room and seeing somebody slap somebody else in the face as hard as they can. Am I just being a chicken about that? Like, that's like. I'm surprised that I'm actually as kind of. I'm as. I don't know, weirded out by the concept as I am.

[Andrew Walsh]

I want to respond to that, but first, I am going to tell you why I think a friend of mine is somewhat responsible for this phenomenon that you're going to be watching of slap fighting, or this is called power slap, right? Is that what it's actually called?

[Luke Burbank]

Now?

[Andrew Walsh]

Maybe I'm drawing too many lines here that don't actually exist, but when I was in college, my buddy John, who's a good friend of mine, he was always talking about his buddy Carter that he went to high school with. My friend John is a musician and an artist and a son. His friend Carter was a very creative guy, and they went to high school together on the east side of Cleveland, and they collaborated on a whole bunch of stuff. He was always talking about Carter, and then one day he told me that Carter got a TV show because we knew that Carter had moved to Hollywood or something. I'd never met Carter before. It turns out Carter, and I don't know his last name, but Carter is one of the two guys who started How I Met yout Mother and John before that all happened. So at this point, How I Met yout Mother isn't even a. You know, those words mean nothing to me. But John used to tell me how him and Carter invented this thing in high school called. Or their. Their gang of friends or whatever called slap fighting, where you would just slap each other. And then that. That became, I guess, a recurring bit on How I Met your Mother. I remember John telling me. He's like. Cause John told me about the slap fighting before. It was a TV thing. And then he told me, Carter's putting slap fighting in the TV show. In fact, John, apparently I've never. I literally have never seen an episode of How I Met yout Mother. But apparently John's paintings appear in the background of some scenes because he would paint them and send them to Carter and Carter would put them in there. So it went from him telling me about this game about the slap fighting that he invented with his friends in high school, and then his friend Carter starts a TV show, and then slap fighting apparently becomes a whole thing in that TV show. And now this is where you really maybe would argue that you can't draw a line here, but was there a seed of an idea from the people who decided to make this power slapping thing from How I Met your mother's slap fighting?

[Luke Burbank]

That would be the craziest origin story.

[Andrew Walsh]

It would be. I just want to insert. Insert myself in this in some way.

[Luke Burbank]

Give me one more thing to talk to Dana White about. I'll ask him where he got the idea or how, you know, and was it. Did it involve Jason Siegel and. Or I forget the name of the other guy.

[Andrew Walsh]

But I do think that that show. I think within that show, and I don't think that you were a huge consumer of that show. Right. I. I do think that it became.

[Luke Burbank]

I know people love that show, Mark.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And I think it became like a big hallma of the show and this idea of just like slapping each other. But having said that, no, I'm totally with you on like the, the. The cringe of that. Like, but of course I am. I'm not even into those physical fighting sports anyway. You know. You know that we have friends who are really, really into it and would have like, people over for pay per view events or whatever. And at a certain point I stopped going. And it wasn't like. Like, I always enjoyed it because, like, before I watched football on any kind of regular basis, I would love getting together with you guys and watching football games and then I would it. And I just always find pleasure in hanging out with people who know A lot about something, even from a fan's perspective, and they want to kind of bring you into that world. And so, you know, I. You know, I loved that with football, and for a while, I was doing that with, like, the physical, you know, the UFC stuff, or fighting sports. Fighting sports. And then eventually I was like, you know what? Like, I. I physically don't like what's happening on the screen. And it wasn't like a moral thing. It's not like me judging on being like, I can't believe you guys buy into this. You know, it's not a moral judgment. I just gave it a shot and occurred to me, I don't like seeing flesh hit flesh like that. I don't like seeing people tied up in pretzels on the ground trying to hurt each other. Like, it doesn't bring me any good feeling. It just makes me feel kind of bad.

[Luke Burbank]

And the way somebody catching a touchdown would bring you a good feeling.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. And the way somebody saying, it takes all of us on the back of their helmet, like, it just really speaks to me. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

The way that. That could probably solve. The way that it could. Erasism.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. I mean, just the strong, strong stance, the moral composition that you need to put. It takes all of us on the back of a helmet. Like, I just applaud that.

[Luke Burbank]

The moral arc of the NFL is long, but it bends towards making more money.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. No, but I mean, obviously, of course, football has. Has tons of its own issues, so, again, not a moral thing, but I was just like, oh, God, no. I literally just don't want to see this. I don't. I don't want to see this. This is not entertaining to me. And honestly, the idea of two people hitting each other in the face as hard as they can, whether it's Neil Patrick Harris or some guy named Butch at the ufc, like, I am.

[Luke Burbank]

Every guy in Power Slap is named Butch, by the way.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's what I thought I'm having. And that's the hard time riffing today.

[Luke Burbank]

No, that's one of the strangest things about the sport. I don't care if.

[Andrew Walsh]

If it's somebody named Nicole Kidman in the ufc.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that's like, I think on, like, Friday night or something. So I. I'll. I guess I'll have some kind of. Maybe a report on Monday. I'll be back home, and I can talk about how it went on Friday night. But anyway, so. All right, well, speaking of this interview, I gotta. I gotta go do it, so we should probably wrap things up here on this Wednesday edition of the show. But I have some news for everyone. We are going to be back here tomorrow, as we often are on Thursdays, I mean, as we always are on Thursdays, with more imaginary radio for you. So if you could please join us for that. In the meantime, thanks for listening, everybody out there. Have a great rest of your Wednesday. Go Mariners and Twins. Is that possible? Can they just have a tie game today? Can they play to a. To a stalemate?

[Andrew Walsh]

How about the Mariners win, but they do in a very gentle, loving.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, yes. How about they cuddle the Twins to death? Not to death, to loss?

[Andrew Walsh]

Is this a, is this a four game series or just a three game series?

[Luke Burbank]

I think it's a four game series because what they said yesterday was in winning the first two games, the Mariners have insured at the worst, a split.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, interesting.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, that's, that's, that's a good feeling. All right, thanks, everybody. We'll see you tomorrow. In the meantime, please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck. Luck to all. Power out. All right. I think your Riverside stopped recording at some point, but yeah, I noticed that.