#4500 Titanicly Drunk And Extremely Regretful

Summary

TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live
Episode #4500: Titanicly Drunk And Extremely Regretful
Release Date: July 1, 2025

---

1. Celebrating 4,500 Episodes

The episode kicks off with Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh celebrating a significant milestone—the 4,500th episode of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live. Luke humorously reflects on the rarity of reaching such a round number, emphasizing the show's longevity and dedication.

"[02:30] Luke Burbank: 4500 times this has happened. Well, 4499 and now today makes 4500. We love a nice round number on the program."

Andrew echoes the excitement, highlighting their appreciation for milestone achievements.

"[02:28] Andrew Walsh: Let the fun begin."

2. Lady Gaga, Art Impersonators, and TSA Myths

A major topic of discussion revolves around a quirky story Luke encountered in the New York Times. The headline suggested that Lady Gaga had purchased art, but the narrative quickly spiraled into bizarre territory involving impersonators and absurd TSA incidents.

"[02:44] Luke Burbank: And we're there with 4,500. I read an interesting story in the New York Times today. The headline, she thought Lady Gaga bought her art. Then things got strange."

However, Luke debunks a related story about a TSA incident involving "swamp crotch," revealing it to be baseless and stemming from a Reddit thread.

"[03:47] Andrew Walsh: That's the part where the art gets made. It's actually kind of a crazy story about, well, the art world and also people impersonating Lady Gaga and things like that."

Luke clarifies the misinformation surrounding the TSA story, emphasizing the importance of credible sources.

"[03:56] Andrew Walsh: So swamp crotch fell off of the list, and somebody impersonating Layli Gaga for art moved to the top of the list."

3. The Oldest Continuous Baseball Team: A Deep Dive

Andrew shares an intriguing personal experience about reaching out to Tim Kirk Shin, a respected baseball writer, with a question about the oldest baseball team that has retained its original name and city.

"[07:15] Andrew Walsh: So that would make sense."

The conversation delves into the complexities of baseball history, particularly focusing on the Philadelphia Phillies as the oldest continuous one-name, one-city franchise in Major League Baseball.

"[31:57] Luke Burbank: But listen to this, Andrew. This is actually to your point, this is the Philadelphia Phillies Wikipedia page. The National League approved a new franchise for Philly to begin playing in 1883... the Phillies are the oldest continuous one name one city franchise in American professional sports."

Andrew expresses his admiration for the thoroughness of Tim's response, highlighting the depth of baseball lore.

"[32:24] Luke Burbank: You just feel like it has that. It has that feeling of somebody who's maybe a generation or two ahead of us."

4. Navigating Home Maintenance and Family Gatherings

The hosts transition into personal territories, discussing Luke's anxieties about home maintenance ahead of an upcoming family gathering. Luke shares his struggles with maintaining his yard and the pressure to present a "perfect" home environment for his siblings.

"[58:14] Andrew Walsh: There's just."

Luke candidly admits his fears about not meeting his own standards, revealing a vulnerability that's both relatable and heartfelt.

"[67:51] Andrew Walsh: You guys hate it when people go back to old conversations and say, we're moving forward."

He reflects on his upbringing in a humble rental house, contrasting it with his current desire for control over his home environment.

"[68:44] Andrew Walsh: It."
"[73:45] Andrew Walsh: Oh, that."

5. Reflections on Podcasting and Media Interactions

Luke and Andrew delve into their experiences with other media personalities, notably comparing their show to the likes of Howard Stern. Luke recounts a personal anecdote about attempting to call into Adam Carolla's show, only to be brusquely dismissed—a story that underscores his appreciation for their own podcasting journey.

"[35:57] Luke Burbank: Like, me getting to be on television where it's my face and I'm probably interviewing someone pretty famous or whatever. That would be less of a thrill than Howard Stern going, Luke's in."

Andrew discusses his interactions with the Tim Kirk Shin podcast, expressing admiration for the father-son dynamic and the show's engaging content.

"[24:08] Andrew Walsh: So, this is a great game. Is that what it's called? This is a great game. What a."

They highlight the importance of genuine connections and the unique bond they share on their own show, appreciating the supportive listener base.

"[34:17] Andrew Walsh: Thanks for doing that because, you know, you and I do that against all odds, does actually have some people who love it and support it and make it possible."

6. Practical Tips: Weed Whackers and Lawn Maintenance

In a lighter segment, Luke and Andrew share practical advice on maintaining lawns, specifically focusing on weed whackers. Luke introduces a product modification that enhances efficiency without the fragility of traditional rigid blades.

"[77:24] Andrew Walsh: Like, I just have to get, get good at learning how to use the weed eater in a very balanced way."

They play an old Weed Terminator commercial, blending humor with their shared disdain for conventional garden tools.

"[84:08] Genevieve: Would you go fishing With a lawnmower? Then why trim your lawn with fishing line? Forget it. Here comes the Weed Terminator..."

7. Closing Thoughts and Encouragement

As the episode winds down, Luke offers heartfelt encouragement to listeners, emphasizing self-acceptance and the unconditional love of family regardless of imperfections.

"[83:57] Luke Burbank: Even if you haven't done that, the people that love you still love you."

Andrew adds his final remarks, reinforcing the supportive and inclusive nature of their podcast community.

"[83:58] Andrew Walsh: And now back to host Randy Travis on TNT Power Out."

---

Key Takeaways:

• Milestone Achievement: Celebrating the 4,500th episode underscores the show's enduring popularity and commitment.

• Media Literacy: The discussion on the Lady Gaga art story and TSA myths emphasizes the importance of verifying information sources.

• Baseball History: Exploring the Philadelphia Phillies' legacy offers listeners a deep dive into sports history.

• Personal Vulnerability: Sharing home maintenance anxieties and family dynamics adds a relatable and authentic layer to the podcast.

• Podcasting Insights: Comparing their experiences with other media personalities highlights the unique strengths and values of TBTL.

• Practical Advice: Offering lawn maintenance tips provides actionable value to listeners.

• Encouragement: Ending with messages of self-acceptance and love fosters a positive and supportive community atmosphere.

---

Notable Quotes:

• "[02:30] Luke Burbank: 4500 times this has happened... We love a nice round number on the program."

• "[07:15] Andrew Walsh: So that would make sense."

• "[32:17] Andrew Walsh: Okay, so that's what Tim... What I'm assuming Tim was sending this back, because Tim, again, is of this generation..."

• "[53:19] Luke Burbank: Actually, you've said something though that I think has helped me..."

• "[83:58] Andrew Walsh: And now back to host Randy Travis on TNT Power Out."

---

Conclusion:

Episode #4500 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live masterfully blends humor, personal anecdotes, and insightful discussions, all while marking a significant milestone. Luke and Andrew engage listeners with a mix of pop culture references, sports history, and relatable life challenges, cementing their place as beloved and authentic voices in the podcasting landscape.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, dummies, a while back, you guys.

[Andrew Walsh]

Explained that SCUBA is an acronym, stands for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. Did you know that the word tuba is also an acronym that stands for Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus?

[Luke Burbank]

Power out.

[Andrew Walsh]

Tbtl. Hello.

[Luke Burbank]

Did you say hello?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I said hello, but that's close enough. What kind of trouble are you two brewing? Oh, we're just shooting the. It's not every day you get to yank it up with a for real radio star.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, no.

[Andrew Walsh]

Podcast star. Radio's dead. I am not gonna talk about myself. I'm gonna talk about you. And if I talk about you, I think I'm gonna talk about me. You know, it's just living truthfully in imaginary circumstances.

[Luke Burbank]

What is this guy trying to do? Is this supposed to be what Bozo's thinking or sad? What guy? It's Bozo. Bozo did it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Bozo did what?

[Genevieve]

Bozo did the dub.

[Luke Burbank]

He's doing the dub. Bozo is not a guy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Have a good show, dummy. It's what you do is so important.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, all right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Tuesday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Everybody wants to be the beast, but they don't want to do what the beast do. My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm a professional.

[Genevieve]

Look it up in the book.

[Luke Burbank]

Coming to you from the Madrona Hill Studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia. Bring it back home, baby. Bring it back home. My goodness gracious. I am so ecstatic to be here at the Madrona Hill Studio. It's a beautiful Tuesday. Oh, Ma Pa.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's just beautiful.

[Luke Burbank]

Looking out over the mighty Columbia. Of course, in the. I don't know how many days it was, nine days or something that I've been gone. Things have really gray gardened out here. Once again, this is the cycle of my life. Now, when I'm home, which has been far too rare, I'm spending many a late afternoon, early evening listening to the baseball games and toiling, toiling away on the yard and things. And then I get it all really nice and dialed in, and then I go on a work trip, and then I come back, and it's just. It's just falling apart around here. That's all right, though. Give me something to focus on later today. For right now, what I am focused on is episode 4000. Listen to this. 500 in a collector series.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let the fun begin.

[Luke Burbank]

4500. 4500 times this has happened. Well, 4499 and now today makes 4500. We love a nice round number on the program.

[Genevieve]

Ooh la la.

[Luke Burbank]

And we're there with 4,500. I read an interesting story in the New York Times today. The headline, she thought Lady Gaga bought her art. Then things got strange. Well, I guess this is the part where the art gets made. It's actually kind of a crazy story about, well, the art world and also people impersonating Lady Gaga and things like that. Now, the story that I did have planned for you all today involved someone at the TSA being stopped by security because they had swamp crotch. But then I read in on the story a little bit. That's the term we use in journalism. I read in on the story and I realized it was utter bs. It was from the New York Post. It was based on a Reddit thread. So swamp crotch fell off of the list, and somebody impersonating Layli Gaga for art moved to the top of the list. And anyway, that's what the plan is for today. Oh, the other big part of the plan is to talk to this guy, longest running cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's got Riz, like, he just does.

[Luke Burbank]

He's Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning, Luke. I wasn't coughing while you were talking, was I? That didn't happen.

[Luke Burbank]

Not that I heard.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. I think my. I think everything was solidly muted. I was just coughing so loudly that I wasn't sure. Sure what was going out over the air and what wasn't. I think I'm fine, by the way. I'm not sick. I just had a little spell of little dry cough there. A little. I had a little kennel cough there for a second. But we're.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm hoping that you can still hear in my voice a little bit of the residual effects of having been in Las Vegas for a weekend. This is, I guess, for me at age 49, what happens on the rare occasion I let my hair down. It takes a long time for my hair to go back up, I guess.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can you put my hair back?

[Luke Burbank]

I still sound a little. I still sound a little froggy. And this is all off of just like one afternoon on Sunday of, Of. Of enjoying myself a little bit at the pool in Vegas.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, that. I, I, I gotta say I didn't notice. I called you out on that yesterday, but I did not notice. You were kind of like probably clearing your throat today. Like, andrew can't call me out Again today. I can't have that happen. That, that supposed confidant and colleague of mine throwing me under the bus on a Monday morning repeatedly. God. I was telling Genevieve yesterday about, about how I totally threw you under the bus when all you wanted to do was tell a simple joke about break time in hell.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, no, no, no, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Off at the knees.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, no. I, I, I actually appreciate that because, you know, I, I talk about this a fair amount on our show, but I am a Howard Stern show listener, and so I have the kind of parasocial relationship with all of them that maybe some of our listeners have with us and that you sort of have had at times with, like, the Dan LeBatard show or comedy Bang Bang or something like that. And one of the things that Howard Stern does constantly is he tells the same stories, and he sort of makes the same observations, and we've all heard them a million times. And it makes me cringe a little bit when it sounds to me like he does not actually remember that he has told the story. Now, what that's created here on TBTL for me is a different annoying half habit, which is me constantly footnoting. I know I've said this before. Like, I, that's, I, that's like my incantation. There's be careful. If you were to play a drinking game where you took a drink every time I said, we've discussed this before, or I know I've told this story before, or what have you, you'd have, you know, alcohol poisoning by the end of the program. That's my way of trying to inoculate myself against the feeling that I have listening to Howard Stern when he tells another story about growing up on Roosevelt, Long island, and how his parents were the only white family that wouldn't sell their house. And so therefore, he was, in his opinion, a fish. Let's just say a fish out of water, there being one of the few white kids in that part of New York state. But he just tells these stories over and over and over again, and it's like, it's, it's a hard eye roll for me. So in the spirit of that sort of thing, I'm glad that you stopped me from retelling my one and only joke about, basically, a guy who goes to hell and then finds out that he's consigned himself to a room where he's going to stand on his head in human feces for the rest of his life.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right, but. And you know what? Over the course of many shows, we got We've basically wreak. We deconstructed and reconstructed that joke. Anyway, if you listen to the past four episodes of tbtl, you will have heard that joke in its entirety. Just sort of out of order and sort of.

[Luke Burbank]

I just gave you the best part.

[Andrew Walsh]

Speaking of relationships with podcast hosts, I think I. I don't know if I mentioned this to you yesterday or not. I don't think I did. I do believe. All right, let me. Let me. This is gonna take a little bit of explaining, but I do believe I received an email from Tim Kirk shin yesterday. Now, it wasn't signed, but it's my. Understand, it's my supposition. That is from Tim Kirk.

[Luke Burbank]

Should the baseball writer Tim Kirk.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. So Tim Kirksha is a long, long, long time, very well respected baseball writer and kind of, I guess t. And he used to be the official. One of the official scorers of baseball, which I think is an interesting job. And he's, like I said, kind of madly respected and just a delight to listen to on the radio. I just know him from doing. He would come on all kinds of various shows and just do little hits, whether it's about the Mariners and how they're doing this year, or he had a regular thing on the Dan LeBatard show and so really kind of fell for his whole thing. And then he, by the way, is.

[Luke Burbank]

Bonhami, which I love.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what I mean? Just such a. Like, he's such a kind of a humble, sweet guy who just knows everything about baseball but refuses to try to flex unless called upon to. And then you can always provide the data, the information, the name. But he's just like. He just seems like a really good dude.

[Andrew Walsh]

Very good dude. Very, very solid. That's his entire brand. It does make me wonder, has anybody started a sandwich shop called Banhami Banh mi? Because I feel like I thought about that, overthinking that, as you said.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, when I said that word. Because it's a French word, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And the way that I said it, it sounded like banh mi. And that was because maybe I was slightly mispronouncing it, but literally, as I said it to you, I was thinking of the Vietnamese sandwich banh mi.

[Andrew Walsh]

But it does raise a question I wanted to ask you yesterday. Did they have banh mi at the. At the UFC event? If you were like in the ufc, Banh mi. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, I believe they did.

[Andrew Walsh]

I believe they did the rest of your life.

[Luke Burbank]

They brought those out after the pizza and the Bud Light, and then it was then it was the bonhe course we stopped.

[Andrew Walsh]

Still don't have clarity on whether or not it was wood fired pizza. We'll get to that later. But anyway. So, Tim Kirk, should you call it bad pizza? Yes. I don't.

[Luke Burbank]

That was. I'll tell you what, that was the biggest plot twist of yesterday.

[Andrew Walsh]

I thought you and I were on the same page of that. I thought we had discussed that before because remember that. All right.

[Luke Burbank]

Andrew, have you noticed I have very little memory of what we have?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, that's a good point. But I thought we bonded over the fact that wood fired pizza is vastly overrated. When. And this is going to hurt some folks feelings and I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, but I'm going to kind of whisper it.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Just to be safe here. Do you remember when we were on some sort of work retreat in the Twin Cities and everybody was really, really sweet and they were happy we were there and so like, they got a whole bunch of the people who were in like the various podcasting teams to all go to lunch together and like, I don't want to. I don't want to turn my nose up at that. It was very sweet. And I was like, oh, these folks don't even know us. But they really wanted us to feel welcome. But they were very excited to take us to a wood fired pizza place that everybody was raving about and like, went. I was like, boy, I would probably just take a. Take a slice of Papa John's over this. I don't think it was a terrible wood fired pizza place. I just don't think it's my kind of pizza. And I thought you and I had a little secret Bonhomme over. I thought you and I had a little like, yeah, wood fire pizza is not what it's cracked up to be. But maybe I'm just misremembering it and leaning into my, like, working class roots here. I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, we all know you're a working class hero.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, it's something to be.

[Luke Burbank]

But here's what I prop. I'm hoping that what I said at the time, because this is what I think of as being the most accurate answer to that question about what we would call sort of like artisanal sort of fancy pizza versus your, Your Papa's John, your Papa's Murphy, your Pizza's Hut, all of that stuff. Right. What I would say is, well, those are big. Actually. There's. What's that?

[Andrew Walsh]

Your Papa's Spiro. Yes, always that's very different. Actually. That's.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that's the thing I was gonna say. There's actually like, this is. This is. This is. This is where the cat. The conversation gets even more complicated because there's really like different layers of. Of sort of what is regarded as high quality pizza and then what is regarded as very low quality pizza. But then what is regarded as low quality pizza. But that p. But I really like that pizza.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right? Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And these are all different categories. So one category is the wood fired pizza. And I actually really enjoy that style of pizza a lot of the time. You know, that's kind of.

[Andrew Walsh]

That will be super, super thin crust with a little bit char on the bottom of it.

[Luke Burbank]

If I am going to a location to eat pizza, it's very likely that's the kind of pizza that I'm going to be having.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, wow.

[Luke Burbank]

Ken's artisanal in Portland or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

But there are other times where I am totally not in the mood. I would never order that pizza to watch the football game. And.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, right. Yes, yes.

[Luke Burbank]

I would go to like the Pietros. When I used to live in Portland, I would go to the Pietros in Milwaukee that we were talking about the other day, which I believe has been sold. Didn't somebody send us an update on that?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I don't know if I saw that.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe they sent it directly to me. Nothing gold can stay, I believe was my response. But like. So. But I will say this about that Pietro's Pizza. And there's a lot. There's a place called Poker Pete's down in the town near me. Actually. There's a place called. Yeah, there's Poker Pete's Pizza. And then there's a place called Pete's Pizza. They are different, Andrew, but they both make great pizza. That's not wood fired.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And they're. You know what I mean? So there's that and then there's like, where does Pizza Hut and Domino's fit into this whole thing? Because there's even a time where Pizza Hut sounds really good to me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But these are all really kind of mood based and event based for me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, exactly. I mean, I'll never forget Pizza Mountain. And I believe Pizza Mountain was constructed of Domino's and I had never. Oh, God.

[Luke Burbank]

That was an incredible nightmare for me.

[Andrew Walsh]

It started as a regrettable day because I wasn't at a daytime. Didn't we come over to watch the Husky? Didn't. Wasn't it Apple cup. And a bunch of us came over to your house. In Mount Baker, and you just had this pile, pile of. Of pizzas. And that's when it occurred to me, sometimes it doesn't matter. Sometimes you got to smell, stop and smell the pizza. Then also, sometimes it kind of doesn't matter the quality if you have a massive quantity. Because I just fell in love with the idea of having that much pizza. I don't think I'd seen that much before outside of a public radio conference. And just knowing that there were only like five of us in the room was a very.

[Luke Burbank]

So much pizza.

[Andrew Walsh]

And also you're talking to me not to get back into my shit, but like, I probably had two slices. It's not like I. It's not like I dove off of your end table into pizza mountain face first.

[Luke Burbank]

Some sort of a pizza fied. Scrooge McDuck.

[Andrew Walsh]

But like, the fact that I could. It was the fact that I could that that was the abundance principle that.

[Luke Burbank]

You'Ve heard so much about lately. I believe an entire chapter of Ezra Klein's book is about how much pizza makes a person feel like they have enough pizza when watching a game.

[Andrew Walsh]

I actually am unfamiliar with the abundance principle. Is that something.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, it's a big thing right there.

[Andrew Walsh]

About a lot in the kind of.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, yeah, I mean, it's. Ezra Klein, who is a, A, you know, a, A writer and podcast host, has got this new book out about, about abundance. And I mean, I. Listen, if I get into trying to summarize it, I'll do a terrible job. But it's one element of it is a question of, like, have we over regulated things? Now, it's not a libertarian argument by any means, by any stretch, but it is. He is part of this. I would say he's yimby adjacent. Like, he is a person who I think has looked at, at, at places where, for instance, there's not enough housing. And it's also very, very difficult to build new housing because the way that the zoning laws and various laws are used often by people who already own housing in an area so as to stop development. And it's under the guise of environmental concerns and other things. But anyway, just the book. I haven't read all the book, obviously, but I've heard it discussed a lot. But this idea right now, there's this. If you hear the word abundance being thrown around in liberal circles, it's kind of. It's this discussion of like, how do we grow things and how do we make enough things for everybody and we can do this, that it is possible, you know, it doesn't have to be a sad story. This can be a story about abundance. But anyway, back to pizza abundance that night. And I might be mixing two nights together because there was the. When I feel like Pizza Mountain ended with me titanically drunk and extreme. This sounds like a Dave Eggers novel, but it's not titanically drunk and extremely regretful because I know there was one. There was one Husky game that our friend Drew McFriz, Rip was over at my house in Mount Baker because he was a big U Dub fan. He went to the U Dub like I did. And what I remember about that game was that I think that the Huskies lost it in a very dramatic fashion. That might have been against Arizona. And I remember. I think I'd also ordered a lot of pizza, but I'd also had a lot of alcohol. And I remember getting to a truly unhinged point of yelling at the TV that was, like, not kind of cute or fun anymore, like, for people in the room. Like, there's a. If you're watching the game by yourself or whatever, and you're getting really. One is getting really worked up. That's one kind of thing. But in a group setting, I was just yelling things at the TV that I think I really don't stand behind. I think I was being personally really mean towards certain players. I don't. I don't know what I was doing. But what I remember was there was a moment where I could just tell everybody else in the room was kind of like, is this guy okay right now? Now, I don't know if that was.

[Andrew Walsh]

You think Drew McFrizz was at that one, too? Because I wonder if maybe I was.

[Luke Burbank]

He at Pizza Mountain.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't remember him being. This is.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, well, that means these were two different events. So that's okay, because that means that's. That's fine. That means that I think my. I think my meltdown. My crash out, as the kids say. I think my crash out happened maybe in a smaller group. I think it might have been me and Drew and, like, an ex of mine. And. And. And that was.

[Andrew Walsh]

At least.

[Luke Burbank]

It was. At least it was. There were fewer people to observe it. And then did my neighbor come over for Pizza Mountain with their kid? Do you remember that?

[Andrew Walsh]

That might be it. I remember you had some neighbors that I think you really liked, right? Or trying to impress.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, kind of. I had a neighbor who then I roasted mercilessly on this show because of. Because of the fact that one of my neighbors was in a band that kind of had a moment in Seattle in the 90s and they're still doing it, they're still playing the music. But if you go to their website, it's very clear that he wrote all of the hype information about the band, but in the third person.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I don't remember.

[Luke Burbank]

See, all of the same neighbor that scammed me out of half of a fence. Remember that whole situation?

[Andrew Walsh]

So this is a different neighbor. I remember there was some couple in your neighborhood that you sort of got a couple crush.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, Michael and Farah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. I thought you were talking about these guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, we love them.

[Andrew Walsh]

My neighbor situation. Yeah, who.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, who? Like basically I was going to. There's very. This very sort of rotted fence between our yards which made the backyard of my old place look kind of a little run down. And so I was going to build a new fence. I was going to basically pay someone to build a new fence on my side of the fence on my property. And my neighbor got wind of it and said, why don't we go in on the fence? And so then somehow I ended up paying for half of this fence, which was just the regular rotten fence with some random boards nailed against my side of the fence, which looked totally goofy. And like everything was better on their side because like their side of the fence, like looked pretty okay because all the weirdness was happening on the part that faced me. And yet I still had to give him money to like sort of fix up his jank fence. That again, remained really dumb looking on my side of things.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is why my dad ironically had a mug, famously that said love thy neighbor but build a fence. I remember I mentioned that in the show a lot because as a kid I did not understand it. And the older I get, I think I do, which is develop good relationships with your neighbors, but also draw a line at some point.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, because this was the same neighbor. And by the way, I know I've told this story before. I don't care if you step on the punchline, Andrew, I'm telling it. No, this was the same neighbor who, remember they had times over enormous. Sorry guys, that's just shorthand on the show for. We've done this enough, okay? Break times over is the new safe word. It's a new safe phrase. The new cacao, where it's just letting me or you know that this has gone on enough. This is the same neighbor who had this massive outof control holly tree that was like one of the biggest holly trees I've ever seen in My life. Holly is. I mean, put aside whatever Christmas merriment.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's awful.

[Luke Burbank]

Is associated with it, the 364 other days of the year. It sucks.

[Andrew Walsh]

It sucks so bad. Pointy. It's pokey. I don't like it.

[Luke Burbank]

No, it's you. I mean, I don't. I don't even think birds want to land in it. Like, it's a weird. I don't even know why it really exists again. It got so lucky that it booked the Christmas gig somehow. Only thing that hap. That's good. That's ever happened. Associated with holly. And so. But because of that, it's a. It's an annoying tree to deal with. And these guys had this totally out of control, overgrown holly tree that was clearly in their yard and on their property, but then had grown. Had overgrown so much that it was hanging well over into my yard. So that when you'd walk up those endless stairs to the front of my house, you'd have this whole giant thing. And then one day I see, oh, they've hired a tree trimmer. Oh, this is really cool. There's somebody out there trimming the tree. And when I. When they. When the tree trimmer leaves and I look at the tree, I realize he's only paid to trim one side of the tree.

[Andrew Walsh]

Of his tree.

[Luke Burbank]

It was. It's to this day, one of the more bizarre botanical or arboreal decisions I've ever seen in my life. Because can you imagine the idea of. Of paying to have a tree trimmed so that. I mean, you know this. You spend a bunch of time now trimming your hedges so they look nice. There's a whole topiary situation to it. It's all about shape and the look of it. Can you imagine just giving a tree a total haircut on one side and then the other side is just. I mean, one side looked like. I don't know, what's. Something that's nicely and well groomed and taken care of. One side looked like Barack Obama. The other side looked like Nick Nolte's mug shot. It was so weird. And I was like, you've made this. It was better when it was all naughty, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, that made sense. Okay, tree is overgrown. Or give it all the berry. You can't do half and half because you didn't want to pay for the other side of your own tree because it's hanging over my property. Like, what a dick move.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that is. It's weird. Like, looking at you. Cole, Our. Yeah, I was gonna say so. Oh. And by the way, you started to say you sort of blasted these folks on, on the podcast and they listened to the podcast. Huh. They checked it out or something and.

[Luke Burbank]

Heard, I don't know, I don't know.

[Andrew Walsh]

You just, it's just living in your head that, that you sort of turned on them publicly. I thought, I thought it was gonna.

[Luke Burbank]

In as much as this is public.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right, Exactly. Which brings us back to Tim Kirkshen and whether or not he likes wood fired pizza.

[Luke Burbank]

And so I think time's over.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. So I'm going to, I'm going to. I'm going to set this up. So Tim Kirk Shin, this baseball guy I was talking about before, delightful guy, also a man, probably, it's worth noting, probably in his late 60s or something, does a podcast now as kind of as I think a big chunk of his career. He's probably is starting to look to like maybe wind things down a little bit. I don't know exactly what his plans are, but he's at that stage where he's a little bit more reflective. And so he's doing this three day a week podcast with his son Jeff called I Always Get a Little Bit Messed Up. I think it's a great game. Is that what it's called? This is a great game. What a. What a great game. Is that what it is?

[Luke Burbank]

It's. Is this a great game or what? Podcast.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you. I'm the one who listens to it, but I suddenly got in my head there, is this a great game or what? It's not. I'll give myself a little bit of leeway there. It's tough to remember.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, they should shorten it to Itagawa.

[Andrew Walsh]

Itagawa. Yeah, well, they do. I was just trying to make it.

[Luke Burbank]

G o W. So is this a.

[Andrew Walsh]

Great game or what? And basically it's a short form but very chatty podcast, three days a week. I kind of like the tidiness of it. Like it's not overwhelming like the Levitard show or whatever, but it is just again, sort of, we stressed before sort of the gregariousness, the love between Tim and his son Jeff. I don't even think I've said that yet. That's his co host. So it's like, you know, a father son duo. One of them an absolute savant who's in the hall of Fame, the other his son who's a professional broadcaster and likes baseball but isn't obviously not as quite as well informed as his dad. And it's just a very loving podcast that is very Much like they call their listeners the family. Like, hey, thanks for joining our family or whatever. That just has that kind of vibe. And it's goofy too. It's like very, like it's not serious, like breaking down what the Orioles are doing with their pitching rotation or something. It's more like Tim is a goofball. So he'll be like, you know, I was watching this one matchup and I realized that the, that the catcher's last name was Pepper. And so I've put together a team of players where every, every player evokes cooking in some way. So you have. I love it behind the plate.

[Luke Burbank]

Let me try to do this. So Tim salmon 100. You could have Tim Salmon on there.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that a real player? Are you really doing?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. One time. One. One time Anaheim Angel. Tim Salmon.

[Andrew Walsh]

So what position? So he'll feel the team by putting one. Okay, so you got center field covered. So it.

[Luke Burbank]

Would it be food based names?

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm just using this as a sort of an example that I've made up on the fly. But so yeah, something like that. You could do food based names or it could be Ricky Spatula, you know, if you're doing like things he found in the kitchen or whatever. But this is the kind of vibe that he does, which is like, I love it. He'll the team based on some silly premise that he made up and only he cares about. Or if there's some sort of like great pitching matchup where you had like. And again, I'm making up names because I don't trust myself to even try to grab real names. But like, if you had somebody named like Chester Black going up against Luke White, you know, like the Black and White Mattress Black.

[Luke Burbank]

That was a real picture.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that a real picture? Okay, there you go, bud Black. And is there a picture named White?

[Luke Burbank]

Like there wasn't a picture that I remember, but I think there was. Was a Devon White. Was that a. Was that an outfielder that.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

I've never even heard this podcast. It's my new favorite thing. Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, in fact, I love these lists while I'm talking. I remember I grabbed a little snippet of this and sent it to my friend when I was first listening to it. And I was like, this is so good. And I grabbed a little clip on my phone, if I can find that. I'm going to scroll while I'm talking to you and play for you. Maybe an example of what I'm trying to talk about here. And the delightfulness of the show, but they also call the people in their audience who are like, super, super, super kind of honed in on these specifics of, like, various baseball players and weird matchups. They call them seam heads. Like people who are just like, really into baseball and looking for these goofy sort of like kind of little word games, as I was just describing. And so I had a question for these baseball savants, I don't know, a month or two ago, and I wrote.

[Luke Burbank]

In, oh, I remember this question.

[Andrew Walsh]

I told you this off air, I believe. So, yeah. I sent this in via their web form. But because I thought this might come up again, I actually saved the text of what I wrote in. And I wrote in, I'm relatively new to baseball. Luke, you're going to love this. I'm giving the life story that you've heard a million times. I'm relatively new to baseball. I didn't start following until my mid-30s, and I'm in my late 40s now, so I'll never truly be a seam head. But, man, do I love your show. Thanks for doing it. Now, this question might be too basic or easy, but can you tell me the oldest baseball team that still has its original name and is still in its original city? I started looking, and most of the old teams have moved or at least changed their names at some point. So is the answer some super new team like my Mariners in 1977 or maybe a team that formed in the 1960s? Question mark, thanks. And I waited for a response. I then listened to the show even closer for a couple of weeks because I was like, are they going to read my email on the show? And then I sort of realized I made a tactical mistake. I think they want these things sent in as voice memos, which I appreciate. Cause I often ask people hit the voicemail line before you send an email. And like all the podcasts, we like the sound of people's voices. And so as I was listening to the show after I sent this in, I'm like, oh, they're never going to put this on the show because they don't read the emails. They play them. And I was like, will I ever get a response? And so, again, to reiterate my question to these baseball boys, it's a stickier wicket than you'd think. You'd be like, oh, well, it's probably the Cubs, because the Cubs are like the oldest team in baseball. Yeah, but the Cubs weren't originally the Cubs. I think I probably have this wrong, but I think it was something like the Cubs were originally the White Sox, then they became the Cubs, and then some other team came back in, and they're. The Cubs were originally the White Stockings or something like that. Then they became the Cubs, and then the White Sox came back as a new team. So it's like all these machinations of these old teams. So to find one that was actually started in the city where it still is and has never changed its name, I was wondering, what team would that be? And I received an answer out of the blue two days ago. It doesn't start with a greeting and nobody signs it. It just comes from great game or what? And this is why I think it was Tim who wrote this back, because Tim, again, is of this generation where it's a constant sort of ongoing joke on the show how out of touch he is with sort of technology. He doesn't know the difference between a meme and a. An emoji, which, you know, like, honestly, I'm basically there myself as well. So there's something about the way this answer is written that makes me think it was Tim or something is messed up with their email system. Because the response I got was underscore and then a very short sentence and then another underscore. Like the whole sentence isn't underlined. It just begins with, like, a dash and then ends with a dash. And before I give you the answer of the oldest team in baseball that's never changed name or city, would you like to take a guess at it, Louis?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, when we were off air, I was trying to play this game with you, and I did, like, five guesses, and they were all wrong because they had all changed their name at some point or moved cities. So I feel like. I don't feel I have a good. A good guess on this. So I'm just. Yeah, give me the answer.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's the Marlins. No, it is the Philadelphia Phillies, 1883.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, but how can that be? Because weren't they the Philadelphia Athletics?

[Andrew Walsh]

I said that I was telling somebody.

[Luke Burbank]

Else I thought last night eventually went to Oakland.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, let's. That might have been a different team.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe they had two teams in Philly.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, so maybe. So again, I'm asking for the oldest team. So that might not be the same team. If they went off and became the Athletics, well, then that team is the Athletics. But then a new team must have come along and become what is the modern day Phillies. And that team has never changed name or location.

[Luke Burbank]

Got you. Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

So that would make sense.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, Right. I wonder when the. I wonder when the A's left Philly. Wonder when that was.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, that I don't know. But I guess that if the A's left Philly and continued to be the A's, then that team is the A's. And that is not the answer to my question. Yeah, so it would be the. The new team that would replace them eventually in Philadelphia, I guess, were the Phillies, although I did not know that history about the A's.

[Luke Burbank]

The A's were founded in 1901 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in 1901.

[Andrew Walsh]

Why am I getting 1883 from the guy?

[Luke Burbank]

This is what I'm saying. I think that maybe, maybe Kirkjin got hacked. Maybe this is a. Some kind of a scam, like this Lady Gaga painting or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

I find that story very interesting and I do think that we should get to that. All right, I need to look. I need to look more.

[Luke Burbank]

One of the AL's eight charter franchises, the team was founded in Philadelphia in 1901 as the Philadelphia Athletics. They won three World Series championships in 1910, 1911, 1913, and back to back titles in 1920 and 30. So as of 1930, in 1955. Okay, the team left Philadelphia for Kansas City, Missouri in 1955 and became the Kansas City Athletics before moving to Oakland, California.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, but that's the Athletics. So that's. But there's still a team right now that's called the Philadelphia Phillies. So. Yeah, so I'm trying to figure out.

[Luke Burbank]

What I'm wondering about is, is when did the Philadelphia Phillies. When did. When were they founded?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, because. Oh, did I say 1883? I'm typing this in wrong as I'm trying to figure this out. So the National League approved a new franchise for Philadelphia to begin play in 1883. So yeah, this team that. But you're talking about the team that left in 1901. So how could that be?

[Luke Burbank]

But listen to this, Andrew. This is actually to your point, this is the Philadelphia Phillies Wikipedia page. The National League approved a new franchise for Philly to begin playing in 1883 at its annual meeting in Providence. The Phillies are the oldest continuous one name one city franchise in American professional sports and one of the most storied teams in Major League Baseball history.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, so there you go. So that's what Tim. What I'm assuming Tim was sending me. I don't think this was a Jeff email. I just really want to believe.

[Luke Burbank]

You just feel like it has that. It has that feeling of somebody who's maybe a generation or two ahead of us. Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

And. And are not, let's just say a digital native.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, that's kind of what I. That there's just something about the response and the two exclamation points. I mean, Tim Kirkchin only talks. Says it all. Information points.

[Luke Burbank]

I think two exclamation points really tells you everything.

[Andrew Walsh]

But that's how he talks. 1883. Like, it's just like decent Kirk.

[Luke Burbank]

We'll save.

[Andrew Walsh]

We'll save the invitation, I guess. Or we should have saved the imitation. But anyway, I was excited to get an email back from my favorite radio host. The problem is, I mean, second to you, of course. My. The problem is I kind of have fallen off in my listening of the show and so if they did bring this up on the show, I got to go back and do some, you know, sort of like catching up on the podcast to see if I, if I got a mention as.

[Luke Burbank]

AS now, how big of a thrill would that be for you compared to, you know, working on this show or being a. Do they pay you to do the KUOW thing? I think like, there's a, there's a.

[Andrew Walsh]

Stipend, which I'm always surprised by.

[Luke Burbank]

But yes, there's so being like, it's funny because I think I already know the answer to this, but this is a show that you and I do that against all odds, does actually have some people who love it and support it and make it possible. So that's, you know, a certain cachet of that. Then also, you're on kuow. You're on, I would guess probably their highest rated local show, which is the week in review. It's always very popular. You're paid to go on there and give your opinions. And yet do you think having Tim or Jeff Kirchen read your message or play your. Did you say you sent. You actually did send in a V mail kind of a thing?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I sent in the email I should have sent in. I. I'm bummed that I didn't. But.

[Luke Burbank]

But if you were referenced on this show, would that be for you, probably the most high profile thing or at least the most excitement that you could feel about your place in the media landscape?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I, I would. I get more of a rush from that than doing a daily episode of tbtl. Weirdly, yes. And I know strange, but. But I just do this every day. Right. And so it's there, I mean, there was a time when, you know, I was first. I, I told you I was going through the archives and I found my. It gets a little bit confusing as to what is my Very first appearance on the show, but, like, my first appearance as a real guest on the show, it was either first or second. And I think I was on there to talk about my experience as a telemarketer, and it was like, me, you.

[Luke Burbank]

And it was like country living or something. What were you selling?

[Andrew Walsh]

It was all kinds of stuff. I worked for Ebsco Telemarketing, and there was a whole bunch of clients. But I do know that Yankee magazine was a big one, as was Motocross magazine, I believe. But anyway, so I was so thrilled. Thrilled in that time. I was shaking in my boots. The first thing I said, you'll be shocked to hear, was, I'm pretty nervous to be here. And so I'm sure that I was, like, kind of riding high in adrenaline after that for probably weeks or whatever.

[Luke Burbank]

But since then, it's been pretty underwhelming.

[Andrew Walsh]

For you, honestly, ever since Gen left to find a point on it.

[Luke Burbank]

I totally understand what you. I knew the answer was that would be the most exciting thing to happen to you in a long time, even though you are a professional broadcaster. And it's because if I were to call into the Howard Stern show and get through, it would be much more exciting to me than the fact that I do television stories that 10 million people a week see.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Yeah. Where. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm like, in that universe, I'm somehow, I guess you could say, you know, how do I describe it without sounding. How do I describe it while maintaining some bond? Me, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, it's weird that, like, me getting to be on television where it's my face and I'm probably interviewing someone pretty famous or whatever. That would be less of a thrill than Howard Stern going, luke's in. Let's go to Luke in Washington State. He's always very perplexed by anything west of the Mississippi. It's like he's barely heard of any of these places. There's somebody that called in from Oregon recently, and he was like. It was as if he was just learning that there's a state called Oregon. But, like, the idea that, like, I would call into that show and then talk to them, that would be a much bigger charge for me than being a correspondent on a TV piece that 10 million people.

[Andrew Walsh]

I want to play for you a little clip of the show only because I found it. I'm not on this clip. It has nothing to do with me. It was just an example of why I, like, is this a great game or what? That I'm going to play for you in A second. But I want to follow up on this Howard Stern story because I feel like I've probably asked you this before, but if you were to get on the show, but then you were treated in the somewhat brusque manner that I think a lot of listeners are, would you be able to hang with that, just knowing that this is the show that you've loved for decades and that's how they treat people? Or would you be pretty pissed or crushed by that? Would you hope to be the person who could hang and if you were like sort of dismissed summarily by Howard Stern, would that really weigh on you?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, this is exactly what happened to me many years ago when I called into the Adam Carolla show when he had a morning show on in la. And so I of course was a huge fan of the Show Loveline with Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla. Like when I, I, I think, I guess I probably worked in radio because I've never really post college, I've never really not worked in, in radio in some capacity, which is a very strange thought actually. I started my first job at KVI on a Monday. I, I finished college on a Friday and started my first producer job on the Monday after that. And so I would have had to been working in radio. But I used to just like schedule my whole sort of free time around Loveline, like if I had stuff to do at my house, like, you know, my first wife and I owned this kind of fixer upper house and stuff. And I would just like always leave everything for 10 from 10 to midnight. Cause I just loved Lovelines so much. I thought Adam Kroll was so funny. And so then when he eventually had his own radio show in la, a morning show, and I was living in LA and I was driving to work one morning, driving to my NPR job and I called in and I was so excited to get through. And I had just idolized this guy and he had said something basically before they were like they were going into a break and they had said something. I thought I had a witty rejoinder to or whatever. So finally it's like we're talking to Luke in Culver City and you hear that classic thing. Andrew, if you've ever called into the.

[Andrew Walsh]

Radio, a little bit of bursting you through. I remember telling listeners you're about to hear a burst of static and that means you're on the air.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, thank you for your service by the way. You may board the airplane first. I feel like producers, first of all, I don't think we do much phone calling anymore into radio shows, but I always find interesting when hosts. I think Stern's got this problem. I don't think he's ever been patched through. I don't think he knows that happens. And he'll say so and so you're on the line. And then they'll be confused. And then he's mad that they're confused. And I'm like, nope, somebody should have told them about the static. But I get through and I say to Corolla, I go, I know you guys were just talking about. And I'm about to get into my riff, which in my mind, this riff is going to be so good. The whole crew is going to start cracking up. They are going to absolutely lose it. And they're gonna be like, I don't know who this guy Luke and Culver City is, but we got to get him on the show. Like, this is.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is.

[Luke Burbank]

This is a rare talent. And no sooner have I said, I know you were just talking about this, that I just get completely blown up. He's just like, I hate it when people call in. We're not talking about it anymore. I hate it when people call in and they're trying to talk about something that we're done talking about. And just like, just like dropped me and went off for like two minutes and I was just like, sitting in my. I at the time had a Volkswagen Cabrio. Like, my ex wife was still in Seattle with our Subaru Outback because we had not fully moved to LA yet. I'm just a guy living in, like, a Craigslist rental, driving a Volkswagen Cabrio around, who just got completely shut down by, like, basically his radio hero at the time.

[Andrew Walsh]

Just because you started with sort of a verbal tic as an entree. Because it's the way people talk. You're talking about this. You're trying to sound conversational. That's how people talk. And he used that as an excuse to shut you down. Like, I. I had forgotten about this story. Your retelling of the story is so traumatic that I blocked it out because you had told me that story. At some point, I completely forgot about it. Yeah. So to apply that, I guess, to my stern question is you would again hope to be the one who makes it through, and it would devastate me.

[Luke Burbank]

Which is part of why I probably would never do it. Also, I would not be able to have any chill. I would not be able to just call in and just be like, Luke, a guy who lives in Southern Washington. I would at some point have to be tempted to shoehorn in that. I work on this show, CBS Sunday Morning, that they all watch, weirdly enough. Right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that would be actually kind of relevant, though. Yeah, because they talk about it kind of. But. But.

[Luke Burbank]

But you never know. I mean, this. One of the things that I've learned. Sorry, this is. Boy, are we really in the weeds today. Speaking of the weeds, man, Andrew, it's painful for me to sit here talking to you, looking at my yard and what's happened to this place since I've been gone. But anyway, one of the things that I've noticed about the show is they all watch CBS Sunday Morning, which constantly makes me think, oh, maybe I'll do a story and they'll be intrigued by it and talk about it. But also, they have literally no idea who any of the correspondents are. Are including, like, famously, the Bill Belichick interview, which was a guy named Tony decouple, who's one of the, like, main CBS News people. He's, like, in the top, like, five people there. He's an anchor. He's on CBS this Morning, I believe, so, like, so much more famous than me. Like, he's like our version of Dan Rather. And he did this interview that became, like, legitimately viral, insanely talked about. And I've not heard anyone in, particularly on the Howard Stern show, they've talked about it at length. At no time did anybody use the name of the guy who was interviewing Bill Belichick. It was like, it just. Which. In that particular case, I thought it might actually be notable because the way that he was asking the questions was part of the story. Like, if there was one time where I thought maybe we do, you know, if we were Howard Stern or his producers, we would note the name of the person doing the interview. It would be this time, because he kind of became part of the story. But they didn't. They never used his name ever. And that's when I realized, no matter what story I do, even if they were to ever see a story and have a reaction to it, they would never even realize who had done the story. Like, they just don't process the story as having anything to do with the person doing the interviewing and the walking around.

[Andrew Walsh]

Just funny I told you this, I think, on the air, maybe off the air, that I was listening to the LeBatard show at that time. And they also, of course, you know, went to town on that story. It's a huge story in that. In that perfect intersection of culture and sports right here on public radio. We'd like to bring you the intersection of. Of sports and culture.

[Luke Burbank]

Calm down, Bob Siegel.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love the intersection. I love the intersection of something and something.

[Luke Burbank]

Nothing like a good intersection.

[Andrew Walsh]

Coming up, Coming up right after this. The intersection of science and culture. What I was going to say was they, I don't think they ever identified him by name, but they definitely focused on the person doing the interview on the LeBatard Show. They focused on the person who was doing the interview of the Belichick thing because they just savaged the way he talked. Just every guest that would come on, they'd be like. They'd play a clip of it and say, is this how people talk? You tell us, is this how people talk? And be like. Because they kept playing the one line which I thought was sort of disingenuous because they were the. What's the guy's name again? The correspondent, Tony decouple. He was quoting from the book, but the. But he refused. He refers to Bill Belichick's business partner and romantic partner as his muse. But I'm doing a terrible imitation of it. But that line is from the book. It's kind of like his, like the.

[Luke Burbank]

Dedications or something, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

As he. As she. What's her name again? I'm blanking on.

[Luke Burbank]

Jordan.

[Andrew Walsh]

I want to say Catalano.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I'm kidding. That's a joke for my so called lifers.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hunter.

[Luke Burbank]

That was, that was the name one of the characters on that show. Jordan Hudson.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hudson. Thank you. Sorry to put you on the spot there. But my point is they were just. I felt that Lebiton show, for the sake of comedy was being a little disingenuous. They were making it sound like the.

[Luke Burbank]

Course that was his writing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Was his writing. But it was a quote from the book. And they cut it off right before he said, as she is described in Bill Belichick's own words or whatever. But they were just like so savage about his sort of like kind of, I don't know, nasally read or the way he was emphasizing certain things.

[Luke Burbank]

So that hold. The tracking of these stories is kind of weird to these TV stories. I think I've sort of drifted over time into being more that way with the read because what, what. When I started out, I think I was again, I thought I was gonna remake CBS Sunday Morning into Vice magazine. Like these stories were going to be just like. Or like something like Radiolab meets Vice magazine. So it was going to be like deconstructed where there's going to be footage of me and the person I'M interviewing, like, talking before we do the interview. And the way that I was going to read the VO part, that the copy was going to be really, like, just conversational and approachable. And then you do it enough and you realize, like, oh, it's kind of got to cut through in a different weird way. Like, if you just talk normally, if you read the line normally, you sound like, way, way under excited about things. Like, you sound, I don't know, depressed in some way. Like, it's. It's just strange. There's something about the. You. You need the way that you read the voiceover of the story to kind of keep up with the visuals. And somehow that involves yelling way more than is normal. And so, like, there's nothing more embarrassing to me than being in a hotel room, which I often am, but I'm retracking a TV story, and it's like, I know that anybody who's in any room that's sharing a wall with me or that is above or below me is hearing me literally yelling. Like, it's. It's the strange. And it's. It's not really how I talk. Certainly, like in this moment on the show, maybe a little bit more like the beginning of the show where the energy is ideally a little bit higher, but it is its own strange category of verbal communication that would be totally unhinged in real life. Like, if I was ever talking to you the way, like, I just. I just did recorded the voiceover tracks today, Andrew, for a story that I'm working on about mayonnaise. And if I was talking to you on this show, the way I was just yelling about mayonnaise into garage band before we started, you would be like, is Luke okay?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And it's like one line at a time, too, right? And. And she would say that mayoed her day.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, see, and she would say it.

[Andrew Walsh]

May owed her day or what.

[Luke Burbank]

I push back on that kind of stuff a lot, and it puts me at odds with all the producers.

[Andrew Walsh]

I refuse the pun. I was just trying to do the use.

[Luke Burbank]

I refuse wordplay at all times. I also refused. I also refused on this Dana White shoot to utter the word man cave, which put me slightly at cross purposes with our producer. But we worked it out. We were in this, like, incredible, sprawling office that this Dana White, the guy who's president ufc has, which is. I mean, it is done up in the style of a person who has a lot of money to spend and wants all kinds of things in there that bring them joy, whether it's certain kind of artwork or just like all kinds of stuff. But it has a very, as you might imagine, super masculine vibe. And the producer kept going over, okay, do you want to, well, why don't you ask? Is this the ultimate man cave? And I said, I'm going to stop you right there. No, I said, I absolutely will not be saying man cave.

[Andrew Walsh]

I absolutely will not be saying.

[Luke Burbank]

I literally said, I will absolutely not be using the word man cave in this story. And he was like, okay, well, I had to ask. I was like, totally. He goes, this is a producer who I really like, by the way. Very, very competent, professional, great producer. He was like, well, I had to ask. And, you know, you've thought about it. So that's all I wanted to, you know, that's good. Good by me. But then later he came back to me. He said, like, so what is the deal with why don't you want to use the word man cave? And I was like, well, because I just don't think it's a very original way to describe, you know, a place where a guy has all his stuff kind of set up. I just think it's a little, I just think it's a little played out at this point or whatever. And we agreed and then we came up with some different verbiage. But, man, I'll tell you, there's nothing a CBS Sunday MORNING producer likes more than a turn of phrase. That's like you said, he may owe, he may owed all of his money in the condiment business or whatever. There's nothing that I like less than that.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, shut that down.

[Luke Burbank]

Here's a little bit. Okay. This is a new level of me pulling the curtain far too back. I still have the garage band. I still have the garageband file up of me recording the voiceover tracks for mayonnaise.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, okay.

[Luke Burbank]

So let's just hear the difference between me talking to you on TBTL and what my voice sounds like when I'm tracking one of these things. Ok. Ok. So here we go. Who's written about this useful but often maligned product? Neal. And shook up the food world back in 2010. I mean, how nuts does that sound? When he challenged the very origin story of where mayo came from. From the story went that after their victory, the French military chef couldn't find his usual ingredients to make a celebratory sauce, think whipped cream. So he improvised and got mayonnaise.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, you're yelling.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm yelling.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're yelling to the cheap seats.

[Luke Burbank]

But what I. But what I Will say is that when you see that story on tv, and I know you'll be up early on Sunday to watch it. Andrew, you know, I have three stories this week. Week about condiments.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, what I do is I get up super early to try to watch the east coast feed.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, well, that's the pure. I mean, that's. Honestly, that's like. That's the pure stuff. But when that is. That sounds so insane. Kind of like out of context. When it's on the TV story, it'll just. You won't even notice it. It'll just be like, that's what it sounds like when people are doing this stuff on tv.

[Andrew Walsh]

But it is. Levitar will notice.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, you know what? Honestly, if those guys, if I get on their radar and they want to nag me, they want to make me a meme, I'm down. Well, they want to make me a.

[Andrew Walsh]

Drop, you know what I wanted.

[Luke Burbank]

Even if they're nagging me, I don't care.

[Andrew Walsh]

When you were a little bit. To go back a little bit to go back to what you were saying before Luke is now you got you kicked off the Corolla.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, exactly.

[Andrew Walsh]

You were saying before there was a little part of me. I mentioned to you that I sent this email in because I. I honestly, I sent this email because I really wanted the answer to this question. I was like, I just sort of like, I just wanted an answer more than to be on the show. And I don't. I believe it or not, I don't think I can tell you. This is maybe the weirdest part of this story. And I'm just remembering it now. And I'm only saying it because I. Maybe because I think it might be interesting. I believe I sent that email from the shower. I believe I had come in from working a long day in the yard. And you know how great those showers feel when you come in. You got dirt all over. You've been out in the sun or whatever, and now you've got either a Gatorade or a beer balanced on the sink near the shower. There's very. Shower, beer, shower, beer, or shower. And you're in the shower and like, you just. You feel very accomplished from your day of work. And I probably just binged three episodes of Is this a Great Game or what? While I'm working in the yard and I'm thinking about these baseball things or whatever. So I come in, I take a long shower, and my phone is probably. Oh, you know what? I'm probably still listening to the show. On the speaker in the shower. These phones are pretty durable. I put it up on a little shelf, and I think I pulled the phone down and I think I sent my question email from the shower while hot, steaming water was pouring down my head and removing the day's dirt from me. I'm like, what is the oldest baseball team that still has its original name in its original city? I don't think I sent that thinking, this will be on the show. But I think once I hit send, the idea implanted itself. Like, but it could be on the show. What if they did read this on the show? Or whatever I wanted. You know, I clearly wanted to be a certain amount of charming or whatever. And then as days go on and I'm like, oh, they're not going to read this on the show because they play voicemails on the show. They don't read or, like, kind of voice memos. And then I started thinking, oh, as I'm listening to other people's voice memos, other seam heads, although I don't claim to be a seam head, I'm like, oh, I would have done this so much better. Like, I don't have the baseball content to provide. Usually people are calling in not so much more with questions, but little quirky things that they've noticed about the game that they want to contribute to the show. So in many ways, my content was not right for this particular podcast. I got the answer that I wanted the other day. I'm happy with that. But once I started hearing people's. Once I was in this mode of sort of critically thinking about, would I have made the show? I'm like, oh, you know, people have this tendency to be like, I'm going to be on a podcast, so I need to write out my thoughts. Thoughts. And then they say, I have been a seam head since, you know, and this is like, it's so reedy. You know what I mean? And I'm just like, oh. I'm like, if I were doing this, I'd go into my little studio, I'd dial up my microphone. I don't know how you dial up a microphone, but I would do it. And I would. I would do several takes, and I would do anything to make it not sound reedy. And somewhere in the back of their head, they'll be like, well, we got to play this one. I mean, this guy sounds like a broadcast professor. Like, these are small, like. Like flights of fancy that I don't even think I realized until I'm having this conversation with you right now that there are little ideas that were creeping up in the back of my brain. So, yeah, there's a little bit of, I guess maybe pride or egotism. Ego. Ego. Egotism.

[Luke Burbank]

Egoism.

[Andrew Walsh]

Egoism. That's what I'm. Is it egoism or. Yeah, egoism. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, ego to be. You can be egotistical. Yeah, you can have. I think egoism would be the kind of way that your ego gets caught up in this a little bit. It. I mean, that would be energy I'd bring.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

If you would have practiced and figured out, dial, dialed it in, it would have sounded just like this. Molly Boz is a chef and cookbook author in LA who's no stranger to the strong reaction that mayo gets now.

[Andrew Walsh]

That she's mayoed it big. Oh, wait, hold on.

[Luke Burbank]

Something really natural, something very conversational, very.

[Andrew Walsh]

Converse only because I really want to hear this again. And I'm sorry, I. I kind of found this tape a long time ago. This was when I was first listening to this show about a month or two ago. Is this a great game or what? I remember. I don't know if this is the day that I wrote in or not, but I do remember this is the day that I really gave this podcast a chance. And again, I was outside doing yard work and I'm listening to it. I'm like, oh my God, these guys are just great. Like, I just love the vibe of the show. So I remember I kind of put the lawnmower down or something and I went into the garage where the glare wasn't so bad and I could see my phone. Then I recorded a little clip of this via my phone and sent it to my buddy Paulie and I said, have you been listening to this podcast? It's really good. And so I haven't listened to this since, but this was the clip that I pulled standing there sweaty and dirty in my garage, taking a quick break from the yard work. I sent this to Paulie. Let's see if it's any good Saturday.

[D]

I got such a big kick out of this and I know it's unhealthy for me to get such a big kick out of this, but I came up with the all unfortunate name for a pitcher. I came up with a 10 man staff because Bailey Falter pitched for the Pirates on Friday night and pitch exceptionally well to win Don Kelly's major league debut as a manager. Bailey Falter on Saturday. The winning pitcher was Scott Blewett. B L U E T T and Aaron Bummer also pitched on Friday night.

[Luke Burbank]

I Remember that name for the Braves.

[D]

And one of the guys broadcasting the game was Bob Walk. So all four of those guys are on the unfortunate name for a pitcher pitching staff that I came up with and four of them were in the ballpark at the same time.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now those were four. So then he goes on and he fleshes out the 10 man roster by coming up with some of the worst names of baseball players throughout history. And when you just think about how many baseball players, I mean that's something that they talk about on the show a lot is like it's just any little stat that you hear like the stats that we're tossing around about our catcher Cal Raleigh right now, it's like they're important because the game has been being played for so long and so many games are played a season. You know, each team plays what, 162 games a season. You multiply that by how many teams are in the league. Luke off the 30 I think 30. So you know 30 times 162, that's the number. Well I guess, guess it would be 15 times 162 would be the number of games just played in one season. Now this is a game that goes back hundred 100 plus years, you know and so anyway that, that is why and they obsess so he'll just go through from pitchers of all time put together this, this pitching rotation with bad names for pitchers. I love the show and I guess this was an extended promo for it and for CBS Sunday Morning.

[Luke Burbank]

I, I, I'm, I'm very intrigued by that. I will be giving that a listen today maybe while I'm here doing my thing trying to get, trying to get stuff back. Here's my big problem, Andrew. And if I've sounded distracted today it's for the dumbest reason which is not this weekend, not this coming weekend which is the fourth of July weekend, but the following. I am having a get together here at my house of all of my siblings. This has been on the calendar for a long time now and I've had it in the back of my mind that I was going to spend the week leading up to it, that get together just dialing in as much stuff as I can around my home of just getting, you know, lots of little projects that are still kind of unfinished, finished and just like, you know, it's very important to me that everything seem really nice and put together and they CBS Speaking of my TV job, it just asked me to do a profile of Bridget Everett who's the star of somebody somewhere oh, yeah. And I just love that show so much. And I'm such a fan of hers that I was. Because I was my. I was. And you called this a long time ago. I was supposed to be like low keying the travel for a while just for my own, I don't know, my own emotional health and also so that I could kind of get my stuff together here. And I just got the message from the producer that we are all booked for these conversations next week. A conversation in New York City and then a conversation in Manhattan, Kansas. And what that means as I look around here is there's no way I can get all of the stuff done that I have to get done at my house before my siblings get here. And it just means that, like, I'm gonna have to emotionally prepare myself for the fact that it's not gonna be perfection here. And that's okay. I just have to have to make peace with that. And for some reason, where it's fixating today on this Tuesday is the yard. I'm just looking, I'm just like, oh my God. There is like, there's just.

[Andrew Walsh]

There's just.

[Luke Burbank]

There's too much work to do between now and two weekends from now, considering I'll be basically gone most of next week in different places.

[Andrew Walsh]

Are you considering hiring somebody to take care of some of the basics of it, though?

[Luke Burbank]

I, I would, but the one problem is I already kind of was a little bit brusque with the guy that I did have going.

[Andrew Walsh]

We talked about that, remember?

[Luke Burbank]

Because that was like, I thought he was kind of messing with me a.

[Andrew Walsh]

Little bit, doing a startup fee, basically like a gym.

[Luke Burbank]

The price kept changing and I kind of felt like it was, you know, felt a little. The price felt a little dynamic to me. You know what I mean? Like based on demand or whatever. I didn't love that. And I could have been. I could have been. I could have taken it less personally. I could have just said, you know, no, thanks, I don't think it's going to work for me. But I think I said, hey, man, I kind of noticed you changed the price here. And I'm not sure what that's about, but, you know, I didn't say have a nice life, but it was a little bit. Anyway, point is, I think that, that probably that ship has sailed. So, yeah, if I was going to try to get somebody out here. And the other problem is, again, I'm sorry, this is so boring. It's just taking you into my brain right now. The other problem is the timing of everything. What I was really thinking my move was going to be was next week. So like, you know when, when starting on Wednesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday it would be. I would start on the project of. Well, not starting the project but I would do basically like I want the yard to look really nice. But the thing is if I let five days go by, everything changes. Like if the lawn is nice and mowed and it's edge and everything's good, five days, it's totally out of whack again. So the key was to try to like get it all dialed in like Friday morning. Like that would be everyone's showing up on Friday. I had pictured myself Friday at noon like finishing the last little trim of something and then taking a shower, possibly emailing the Tim Kirkjin show. By the way, there's not a show whose name changes more drastically based on the emphasis than that show. So you have have is this a great game or what? So if you ask it as a question, it's like you're trying to find out if this is in fact a great game. Is this a great game or what. But if you say it the way that they intend is so celebratory. Is this a great game or what?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. In fact it's very exclamation point in the name of the show.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't, I don't know, I don't have it in front of me but it definitely, it needs that that really changes instead of it just being the question of was that in fact did we watch a great game or is this sport a great sport? It's it like it really goes like the more excited you are, the more, you know, positive the whole thing is. But all that is to say I had this whole plan of like, of basically like getting everything kind of to this like really nice, well put together, well trimmed, etc thing. And then my siblings were going to show up and then we were all going to hang out and we're gonna have a great weekend and they were all going to think that I'm cool. That was what was going on in my mind somewhere and now there's no way for that to happen. And so I have to just like kind of change my. I don't know, I have to do a little internal work in the next couple of weeks about. Because the funny part is none of them care. This is totally 100% self created by me. But like my, my siblings love for me is in no way dependent on if I've put down landscaping rock in this one area that I'M looking at right now that is not important to them, but it is somehow important to me about their conception of me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I think, I mean, it's pretty clear from our conversations on the show that you do, you obviously admire, like, you talk about your brother in law's taste and skills and a lot of various things. And so it's important for you in the same way that you admire other people in your family, that they admire you also. You know, you're putting so much. I mean, we talk about the coat hook moment. I don't know if this fully applies here, but, like, you've been specifically living alone in this place that doesn't have a lot of, like, kind of, let's just say, drop in traffic from friends or whatever. And you've been so lonely. All the work that you've been so lonely and all the work that you've been doing is sort of like, well, someday you're. I don't know how much you're picturing it for yourself, but you're picturing like, I'm gonna have people over and it's gonna be a pool party and it's gonna be this thing and everybody's gonna think this thing about me or whatever. And like, you've been imagining that moment. Like, I don't have that with, like, home projects around here, although I will. And again, all home projects, Genevieve gets the, the credit for, if I even get an associate producer credit on those things. It's a little bit much, but, like, I am proud that, like, the house is painted now. When you were over here, I pointed it out to you like, it was sort of like kind of putty color when we bought it. Now it's this gray. I did nothing about that other than help Genevieve pick the color. But she hired the people who did it and like, whatever. So. But, you know, there's a sense of pride there. But for me, it's cleanliness. Like, I. It was like a few months ago. Now, I know Genevieve had a couple of, like, her colleague and his partner came over for some drinks and there was a Friday night and I, like, put all of my work off for the day because I was like, well, the number one thing is I'm like, I can do the newsletter at midnight, but I can't clean when they're here. And then, and just like, and if I know somebody's coming over, even if you're coming over and I know, well, you're probably only coming in the front door and then walking down here, you're not going in these other rooms, but you never really stop in the bedroom.

[Luke Burbank]

You roll around, see where the tragic.

[Andrew Walsh]

Happens and just like. But I'm like, you don't know if somebody's gonna poke their head in here and like, the idea of having a house that is unkempt or that has cat toys all over the place or like, whatever. Like, I just hate that. In fact, somebody kind of popped by the other day and when she left, I was like, oh, my God, the floor, the kitchen floor is so dirty. Like, I would have loved to have cleaned that floor because it's just like. I don't know, like for me it's. It's very much cleanliness. Like I want it to be. It's never going to be fancy, but at least you know that it's not going to be like cat hair all over the place and the smell of a. Of a home that someone was cooking onions in while empty. A litter box or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, I just went and, you know, you still won't tell me how the house smells. You always tell me it smells fine, but I don't believe you.

[Luke Burbank]

It smells great.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

That's the. That's the funny part. But of course that's where this is where the paranoia or whatever you want to call it, it sort of serves a purpose. Like, yeah, right, you're very worried about your house ever smelling weird. Therefore you go to great lengths to make sure it doesn't smell weird. And guess what? It never smells weird.

[Andrew Walsh]

But I just.

[Luke Burbank]

But if you took your eye off of that prize for even five minutes.

[Andrew Walsh]

It would reek, it would wreak. And I. The thing is, like, I don't ever trust anybody on that. And I appreciate you saying that, but I swear, if I leave for like a week or two, like we will be for the upcoming TBT L A thon and I come home, the house will. I'll smell the house with sort of fresh nostrils. Sort of. And I'll be like, oh, that was it. Febreze. That came up with the slogan. Or like the concept of nose blindness, which is like such a good.

[Luke Burbank]

Probably Unilever scripter.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Whoever owns Febreze, that.

[Andrew Walsh]

That nice home style brand, Unilever. Anyway, I just. I get very paranoid about that stuff. So I'm very. I'm not trying to dismiss your concerns. I understand that. I know what's going to happen is. And again, I'm not. I'm saying this with love, but I would do the same thing. You're going to be spending a lot of time saying, well this is usually like this or this is going to be like this and you're going to try to stop yourself from doing that. I know you, right.

[Luke Burbank]

Actually you've said something though that I think has helped me which is, is or it's helped me understand this a little bit better. And you're absolutely right. I have not had still to this day and God, it's been now years I've been in this place, I still haven't really had a proper get together here. I mean we've had a few like, you know, a few weekends of some people being over, but those were the days where it was so far from being done. And even when you and John were here, like the place is very different than when you and John were here for the thon in terms of just how, how finished certain parts are. So like before it was like I just. There was not even a chance that I could like unveil the home or something. It's so funny when I say that if, you know this is a little 1930s cottage, right. It's a, it's a pretty humble place, still has really cool views. That's kind of the main thing. But I think, I don't think I was conscious of that. But you're right. All the time that I've spent here doing stuff and paying people to do stuff and just dealing with it, it's been with this thought of like. And then when people come over, there's going to be this moment where we're, we're, we're barbecuing and the hot tubs go in and the, you know, the river looks great and it's like. And everyone's go. Everything's gonna feel right in my world. And all of this expense and hard work is gonna pay off and be.

[Andrew Walsh]

Rewarded and be noted by people and noted. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And that's a really dangerous way to propel yourself through this kind of stuff. And unfortunately it is the thing that I use like when I don't want to deal with something or I feel frustrated or something. It's like, well, how do I push through this? Well, just keep your eyes on that prize of like someday this is all gonna be worth it. And so this is really one of the first things that I've, you know that I've done like this with my sibs and it's with anyone really. And it's like I just want it to be like a really fun weekend where we're just having a great time and Connecting as siblings And. And. And. And that will happen. That's the thing. It will be fine. But that. But I think that I have been building this up to be like, the big reveal, and it's like, it's just not gonna be ready for that. And that's. Okay. That's. I just. But I need to, like, I need to make peace with that.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's not a hard launch. It's.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not the hard launch. It's.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, too is. It's kind of like, you got to remember this is your home. This is where you live. It's going to go through phases or whatever, but I think you. Because you are working so hard on it, and you have. Literally, you have designs on designs, and you want to make this. You know, it's half your home, but also it's kind of of your showpiece or you want it to be. I feel like.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, yeah. And I don't know why that. I don't understand why that's a thing that my very fragile ego needs. I mean, it's very. I think it's rooted in. And we just had a conversation like this a while ago. There you go. Everybody take a shot. So I don't need to, like, relitigate the whole thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

You guys hate it when people go back to old conversations and say, we're moving forward.

[Luke Burbank]

But I do think. I think for me, because of. Of how I grew up, and by that, I mean, we lived in a rental house my entire life. My parents bought a house. I was already in college, I think, or maybe post college, but we lived in a very humble little rental house, and there was a lot of kids, and it was. You know, it was just. It was. And it was a. It was. It was great. I got so lucky. I'm so glad that I lived in the humble rental house that I did, because it was. I could just get on my skateboard and go, like, anywhere in town. I could jump on the bus. I don't think they called it the E Line then, but, like, I had a lot of. Of. There was a lot. I lived right by Green Lake. Like, that was ideal for me. But our house was a little. Kind of little. Little rundown from the outside. If Mike. If I had friends and they were like, should we hang out at our house or your house? It was always like, how about your house? Like, I just kind of.

[Andrew Walsh]

It.

[Luke Burbank]

It just didn't feel. There was something about the kind of version of the home environment that I grew up in that made it very important to Me, when I was an adult to very much kind of control my home environment. A, own the home. B, get it set up just right. Like, not even. Just like, mostly okay, but like, exactly the way I want it. Like, it's definitely, like, it's a bigger deal in my life than it should be. And it's very much about playing out some kind of a childhood thing that again, however, and again, I also want to clarify. I mean, our home was like, it was totally fine. It wasn't like it was run down or something or like a big mess or anything. Like, it just somehow in my. In my adult life life, my home environment is exceeding. And you know what's interesting? So is it for my daughter, like, when I was just visiting her in la, she has her little. She's like, you know, she's got a place she's renting with a roommate, and it's like she's already got it so dialed in. The roommate has already said, this place has never looked this nice.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, because she moved into a place that already had. Like, her roommate had already lived there.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, the roommate was already living there. There was a. There was a room available. And like, now she has like. Like may remade this whole thing in her particular style. And like, you know, and then she has really, really great taste and everything, but just like her old man. But you know what I mean? Like, so it. It is. You're. I mean, the term showpiece sounds so. Like, that just sounds so gross. Except it's kind of true. It's like. And even. But look, we'll say this too, and then we can seriously wrap this up, because it's enough already. But I got up this morning. You know, I've been gone for however many days. I've been in a bunch of different places. And I got up this morning and I walked out and I had my cup of coffee and I stared at the river, and I really felt good. So it's not total craziness. It's like I do get a real strong kind of emotional feeling, or I get some. I feel somehow soothed by being out here in this nature and stuff. I think the biggest part that I'm still adjusting to is that unlike the house in Bellingham, unlike the house in Port Townsend, unlike the house in Seattle, or I guess my first house in LA or whatever they. This is. I'm kind of on this very strange chunk of land that's very difficult to figure out how to maintain. It's just constantly trying to go to seed on me. Whereas all those Other places were in major cities where you just had the plot you had, and if you worked hard on it, like, your. Your yard is looking great. And I haven't even seen the latest, latest. The latest mulching, the mulchification, but the backyard is rough.

[Andrew Walsh]

As we're having this conversation, I'm like, oh, my God, last time I mowed, I didn't do the backyard. And it's that if it makes you feel any better, it's that we're in that period of summer now where the sun is like kind of directly hitting all the lawn. So the lawn starting to turn a little bit brown. It's not that nice, beautiful, green lush that it was like a month or two ago, but it's still unmode back there. And it's not even. The whole thing isn't even fully launched. So it's just like it's got that wispy, long grass that's. I got. I looked over my fence the other day and I turned away in shame. So. But like, you know, you could.

[Luke Burbank]

If you spent a weekend, you could tame that thing down. And if you got your. Your whole yard area kind of dialed in, it would, with maintenance, kind of stay dialed in. And that's always. I've just never lived out in a weird kind of semi. It's weird because I both. I have close neighbors. It's not like I'm not in the country, but there's something about trying to figure out, out how to stay on top of the yard situation here that I still haven't quite figured out.

[Andrew Walsh]

I guarantee you, though, you say that, but I mean, for where we live now, I guarantee you, if you lived in this house that we live in right now, the backyard would not be what the backyard is. You would have already probably torn down the garage. I mean, literally part of our backyard right now when we moved in was more of a driveway for an rv. Now it's a little bit more like a lawn. Not because we dug it up and planted seed, but because I'm just hoping that. That life will find a way. Like. Like. So just to be very clear about this, yes, we have a plot that is a designated plot, but it's also like two levels. There are some, like, there's some like, railroad ties that are falling apart. Like, I guarantee you, if you had moved into this house when we did, the backyard would not be what it is right now.

[Luke Burbank]

Right. That would have tore it all down probably. I probably would have gotten kind of obsessed, but I guess. Yeah. So anyway, I actually appreciate I don't know, the listeners are probably like, again, Burbank, with the whole, I don't know, house anxiety thing. But I appreciate you putting some context around it. And you're right. I think I have been building this up into being something that somehow is the payoff for all of the time and energy and effort. And it just. It can't be that and it won't be that. But my siblings are the loveliest people I know. I mean, that's one of the things also, I feel really lucky about. I have siblings who I just love, you know, to the moon and back, and they do not give two bleeps if. If every single little section of my lawn and yard is somehow like Sunset Magazine out. You know, they don't care about that. It's just going to be fun for us all to get to hang out. So I need to kind of. I need to. I need to just focus on that and Bridget Everett and the work of Bridget.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that. I. You know this. I'm glad you brought that back up, because I did have one more question, no joke about this, which is the Bridget Everett separate ness of all of this. If, like, I'm wondering what the line is, because this was clearly very important to you that you have this time. And also you. Yeah, you're just coming back from a road trip that was, like, extended by a day, and I believe you were on the road for, like, six days or something. The road trip before that, I think was 10 to 20 days or something like that. Like, it's been pretty crazy. And so you've been looking forward to this time that you were going to, like, get your yard in shape and spend some home time. What. What is the line for you as to what assignment you were going to say yes? Well, I was geared up to say no to almost anything within this brief.

[Luke Burbank]

It.

[Andrew Walsh]

I did everything.

[Luke Burbank]

I said no to an interview with Matty Matheson. You know who that guy is? No, he's that chef. He's on the Bear now. But his thing is he's kind of like a. He's a kind of a renegade chef from Canada. He's very popular, has a lot of tattoos and stuff. And that was proposed. And I said, I just don't have the bandwidth for it right now. I was saying to Becca, I was like. I was like. Because I had told her, I was like, no more travel after. You know, after I get back from whatever I was just doing. Oh, Dana White. I was like, I'm not. No more travel until she and I are going out of town. And she goes, yeah, right. And I was like, no, seriously. And then I called and I said, well, looks like there might be some more travel. But I go, I would only do this because I love Bridget Everett so much, and I love somebody somewhere. She goes, well, what about Barack Obama? I go, okay, well, yeah. She goes, what about Michelle Obama? I was like, yeah, okay, that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Also Howard Stern, probably.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. And so it turns out, though, there's a lot of people that are above the line.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's what I'm interested in now. I want to know the line. What is the line?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, Maddie Matheson, Matty Matheson, below the line.

[Andrew Walsh]

So who above the line? We gotta find the person who's, like.

[Luke Burbank]

On the bubble, like, Tim Kirchen straddling the line.

[Andrew Walsh]

And does Jeff push you over, or is it a deal breaker?

[Luke Burbank]

I don't. That's a really good question. Yeah. So, I mean, I don't know. I'm kind of. Yeah, I was. I was tempted to. Once I realized the real. So I had said yes to this, and then that was because I thought we were only filming in New York, and I thought we were filming for one day in New York so I could fly in, do the interview, fly home. But then it's like, we're also filming in Manhattan, Kansas, which, I don't know if you're familiar, Andrew, not like. Not the number one direct flight destination.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right, Right.

[Luke Burbank]

The Amer.

[Andrew Walsh]

Didn't. Didn't our friend Barry even talk about the. Trying to fly out there? Because he went out there for the sort of celebration.

[Luke Burbank]

He's offering to be an unpaid producer on this shoot.

[Andrew Walsh]

I believe it. I was hoping that we could work him.

[Luke Burbank]

He was like, I'll see you in Manhattan.

[Andrew Walsh]

Love it.

[Luke Burbank]

We're gonna be walking down the street, and I'm gonna look, and Barry is just gonna be in a cafe.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love that.

[Luke Burbank]

Hanging out there. I love that. For us. Yes, but. So, no. I mean, it's like. I don't know. I'm. That's just what. That's what's going on inside of me right now. But. But everything's going to be a. Okay. One way or the other. So what we did not get to today, my friend, is this Lady Gaga story. But let's talk about it tomorrow, because I do think it sounds like you actually read it. And it's interesting because it's not what I thought the story was at first, if you know what I mean.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, I'll be honest with you, Luke. I. I did not quite get to the bottom of it. But I was enthralled with what I've read so far and I have the broad strokes of it, certainly. And so I'm just sort of now getting into some of the legal implications because I'm confused about what the legal implications are and what fraud is and what fraud isn't. But I will tell you this. I am very interested in, and I do think it's an interesting topic as far as, like, what is the responsibility as a buyer to truly represent who you are and how it's different for the art world than it is for say, a Ryobi lawnmower?

[Luke Burbank]

You know what I mean?

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, it doesn't matter who I am if I'm buying a lawnmower, but apparently.

[Luke Burbank]

What is your lawnmower situation right now that'll help you tackle that backyard if you get a fancy new lawnmower?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, no, it's not big enough for a riding lawnmower. It's very, very small. In fact, like I. I have a push mower that I like or whatever. No, it's a battery power. It's a good. It's a good little lawnmower. I do need a second battery for it though. Now at this point I'm sort of.

[Luke Burbank]

Does it pull? It's. Is it self propelled?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, but honestly, I used those. Gas power? No, it's. I believe it's greenworks, I want to say, although I know that I have. We have like three different battery powered pieces of equipment and I think we have maybe four different pieces of equipment in three different brands or something like that. I'm pretty sure battery systems and then like the two greenworks that we have take different size batteries. But I definitely want to get in a situation. This is not interesting, but I want to get in a situation where I have two batteries for this lawnmower because it is getting to the point where it's not quite enough for a full job. Especially when the lawn was like really thick and green. And so it's sort of dying on me so that I'd have to go charge that battery and then I'd have to switch to my. What do we call it? A weed whippering or whipper snipper snippering.

[Luke Burbank]

Do not sniff it.

[Andrew Walsh]

This, this lawn is just so weird that so much of it can't even be really be done with the mower. I just have to get, get good at learning how to use the weed eater in a very balanced way.

[Luke Burbank]

Can I turn you on? Real people steal people Andrew and I think that's something you and I said many times.

[Andrew Walsh]

Terrifying.

[Luke Burbank]

Can I just turn you on to something? When it comes to the weed whacking.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

That will friggin change your life. They sell, I'm sure for whoever your weed whacker maker is, they probably sell the same thing. But what I have started buying because you know how on like a typical weed whacker whacker you've got that reel and you've got the nylon, you know you've got the nylon. Weed whacking what? Thread?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, sure.

[Luke Burbank]

Line.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And so first of all, if you have a governor on your weed whacker, if you have a little kind of thing that only lets you let out so much line, take that off so that you can really get a nice good section of line going. And then also what I'm now buying are instead of that real, instead of that like, like a mile of that line that you keep kind of pulling out every so often it's just imagine like maybe a foot long section of line that actually folds in half and you feed it through. There's two little holes within the bottom of the weed whacker device. I have a ryobi and you feed them through. So you have, you have one folded over piece of string that's going out one side and a different folded over piece of string that's going out the other side side. So you basically have these two really long doubles up string things. But what's great about them is they're super powerful because there's two of them as far as like knocking stuff down. But they don't break because what I was using for a while was an actual rigid like blade thing. Like rigid blade things which are very cool. Like they really, they just freaking take everything down down. But if you hit them against anything, they just shatter immediately.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, so you're just like, if you're.

[Luke Burbank]

Just doing grass with them they're totally great. But as soon as you hit like a little bit of a rock, they break. Well, you know what doesn't break against a rock is a, is a string, is a section of line. So these things that I'm using, so.

[Andrew Walsh]

It'S a section of string but it's just more like hearty than the string that constantly comes out. Because otherwise, I mean that's the whole point. The string, why you need the real is because it keeps on wearing down. This just doesn't wear down.

[Luke Burbank]

It doesn't wear down. I think it's maybe made out of something a little different. It just doesn't wear down quite as fast, although it still does. You know, you still have to swap them out. But, like, it just. If you're dealing with like some kind of longer grass or some things where it's just like, you really need this thing to be burly, it is so effective. But also it does not break as quickly or doesn't wear down as quickly as the other stuff. But it is so much, so much better and more effective than just like the traditional. Plus, you know how, like, allegedly, back in the day, if you had the, like, normal stuff, you can make more come out by like banging the bottom.

[Andrew Walsh]

Of the weed whacker on the one that I have now is super, super cheap. It's by a works w o R X and it came with the house. So I'm very appreciative of it. But I don't think I'm gonna outfit this thing out anymore if I were, because it's like you can't bang it down to extend it. I have to stop it, flip it over, kind of like grab it with my hand and pull it out. Like. It's a very, very rudimentary. It's like my first weed eater level of. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

It's like one step up from a weed eater that you give a child to learn.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, in fact, I should mention that, like, little soap bubbles do out when I'm using it.

[Luke Burbank]

When you push the lawnmower, there's a little thing that pops all the little stuff right on top of it.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's so cute when we see you.

[Luke Burbank]

Out there, like you're a real. It's almost like you're a grown up doing stuff.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, I'm gonna play for you. I'll wait for the end of the show. I'm gonna play for you.

[Luke Burbank]

I believe. I believe break time's over.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. No, after. After we say goodbye, I'm gonna play for you this audio for a Weed terminator commercial from 1994, which is exactly. This is like blades that you can install in your weed eater instead of string. And it begins. You won't know this as the listening audience. So I need to tell you. This begins with a man apparently lowering his lawnmower into a lake in order to. I don't know what, to either get some weeds that are down there, or just to demonstrate how difficult it is to use a lawnmower.

[Luke Burbank]

Is he trying to mow the kelp bed or something?

[Andrew Walsh]

Let me take a quick listen to this, then we'll play the whole thing.

[Genevieve]

Would you go fishing With a lawnmower?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, that's. Why are you using fishing line for your weed eater when you wouldn't go fishing?

[Luke Burbank]

Actually, honestly, that's not the worst sales pitch I've ever.

[Andrew Walsh]

I kind of missed the pitch there, but. Yeah, well, you're just seeing this guy on a dock lowering a lawnmower into a lake.

[Luke Burbank]

I love it.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's really good.

[Luke Burbank]

I love it. All right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Get out of here.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, we gotta. We gotta go. We're doing all right, everybody. Thank you so much for listening. We're gonna be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for all of you. So please, if you can, hop on the line with us. In the meantime, everybody, have a great Tuesday. Take care. Good luck with whatever your other endeavors are today. And everyone just be nice to yourselves. Cut yourself some slack. Realize that the people who love you, they love you regardless of if you have mowed all the dandelions on the parking area that used to be for an RV at your house. Even if you haven't done that, the people that love you still love you. Okay? Let's all remember that. All right? Have a great Tuesday, folks. Go Mariners. And please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to all.

[Genevieve]

Would you go fishing with a lawnmower? Then why trim your lawn with fishing line? Forget it. Here comes the Weed Terminator. Three awesome cutting blades that swing out and are held in position by centrifugal force. Weeds are defenseless against them, and trimming has never been easier. The entire unit installs quickly and easily to whizz through even the thickest grass and weeds. Turn your gas powered trimmer into a powerful weed terminator. Broken trimmer line terminated. Wasted time terminated. Expensive replacement spools terminated. The Weed Terminator fits all these popular gas trimmers. And it's yours now for only $19.95 with an extra set of blades aids free. Don't miss this opportunity. Call now. Call toll free, 1-800-421-2000. That's 1-800-421-2000,. Or send 1995 plus shipping and handling to Weed Terminator, P.O. box 2666, Atlanta, Georgia.

[Andrew Walsh]

And now back to host Randy Travis on TNT Power Out.