#4511 Turning Water Into Wifi

Summary

Podcast Summary: TBTL #4511 - "Turning Water Into Wifi"

Introduction and Early Banter (00:02 - 03:00) The episode kicks off with the typical playful banter between hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh. Luke opens with a humorous exchange about a knife and a spoon, setting a lighthearted tone. Andrew transitions into discussing an episode of a stylized sitcom centered around friends in Seattle, humorously highlighting his recent experience with cyberbullying. Luke welcomes listeners to the Wednesday edition of TBTL from the Madrona Hill studio, mentioning an upcoming "TBTL a thon" and Operation Pizza Dough.

Notable Quote:

• Luke Burbank [00:50]: "Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Wednesday edition of TBTL. The show just might be too beautiful to live."

Splooting and Animal Behavior (03:00 - 07:08) The hosts delve into the phenomenon of "splooting," where animals like squirrels lie flat to cool down. They reminisce about a previous episode discussing splooting squirrels, clarifying that it was a cooling mechanism rather than a sign of distress. Luke shares a memory from September 2022, reflecting on their earlier discussions and the confusion around the term.

Notable Quote:

• Andrew Walsh [03:02]: "I sploot the middle of the floor. You know what it means? It's like when cats will sploot."

Review of the All Star Baseball Game (07:08 - 15:29) Luke and Andrew transition to sports, specifically reviewing the recent All Star Baseball Game. They discuss the American League's comeback and the exciting finale involving Kyle Schwarber hitting three home runs on three swings, leading to a dramatic victory for the National League. Andrew expresses reservations about Clayton Kershaw's performance, questioning his All Star selection and criticizing his sportsmanship.

Notable Quote:

• Andrew Walsh [10:00]: "I think he's a bad human being."

TBTL a Thon and Upcoming Zoom Event (16:18 - 23:27) The duo announces the upcoming TBTL a thon, detailing a virtual Zoom event titled "America's Tens Got Music Stuff." They invite listeners to share their favorite music-related memorabilia, such as concert T-shirts, first CDs, or meaningful posters. The event aims to foster community engagement by allowing listeners to showcase personal items and socialize virtually. They emphasize the importance of signing up in advance via tbtl.net.

Notable Quote:

• Luke Burbank [17:03]: "America's 10's got music stuff."

Monos Luggage Return Saga (23:27 - 45:01) A significant portion of the episode focuses on Luke's frustrating experience with Monos, a luggage company. After unintentionally purchasing plastic luggage instead of the desired metal version modeled by Adrien Brody, Luke attempts to cancel the order. He details the convoluted and unresponsive customer service process, including communication with Freight Co., a third-party returns facilitator. Despite multiple emails and tedious steps, Luke struggles to return the luggage, ultimately advising listeners to avoid Monos based on his negative experience.

Notable Quotes:

• Luke Burbank [29:08]: "Do not buy anything from this company."
• Andrew Walsh [43:39]: "We're going to have John donating during the 20TBTL fund."

Shopping Habits and eBay Discussions (45:01 - 54:20) Luke and Andrew discuss their differing approaches to shopping, particularly in the context of online platforms like eBay and Amazon. They touch on Genevieve's successful ventures into buying and reselling items on eBay, highlighting the complexities and sometimes deceptive practices of online marketplaces. Luke contemplates retaining the unwanted Monos luggage, while Andrew explores the secondary market options.

Notable Quote:

• Andrew Walsh [50:05]: "It's just about transparency. And I feel like we're living in the heyday of the opposite of that."

Expense Reporting and Gardening Talk (54:20 - 93:45) The conversation shifts to personal anecdotes about expense reporting systems like Concur and the challenges of itemizing expenses with various taxes. They share humorous frustrations about bureaucratic processes and the difference in their organizational habits. This segues into discussions about gardening, where Andrew expresses newfound joy in watering strawberries and maintaining plants, contrasting with Luke’s more chaotic approach to household organization.

Notable Quotes:

• Luke Burbank [57:08]: "So, John, when I understand it."
• Andrew Walsh [85:14]: "I just water the strawberries and the tomatoes, and I'm just like, can you over water tomatoes?"

Closing Remarks and Final Banter (93:53 - 94:26) As the episode winds down, Luke and Andrew engage in light-hearted banter about their ongoing discussions and upcoming plans. They joke about the show’s length and share final personal updates, including Luke’s successful pizza-making endeavors and Andrew’s thoughts on gardening tools. The hosts wrap up by encouraging listeners to stay cool during the heat and teasing future content.

Notable Quote:

• Luke Burbank [93:45]: "And good luck to all. You travel the world, you're away from home, perhaps away from your family. All you have to depend on is yourself and your luggage."

Conclusion Episode #4511 of TBTL: "Turning Water Into Wifi" offers a blend of humor, personal stories, and engaging discussions ranging from animal behavior and sports to online shopping mishaps and personal hobbies. Luke and Andrew maintain their signature friendly rapport, providing both entertainment and relatable insights for their listeners.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

You call that a knife? This is a knife. That's not a knife. That's a spoon. All right, all right, you win. I see you've played Knifey Spoony before.

[Andrew Walsh]

Tbtm. Please understand that nothing personal is intended here against anybody. I don't hate these artists. I'm not trying to say that God hates them, and I'm certainly not trying to get you to hate them. Ah, it's funny. It's not like a regular haha sitcom. There's no laugh track, there's no audience. Very stylized. It's about a bunch of guys in Seattle. Targets. Targets. Don't bully me. All right? I can't take it. I was cyberbullied within an inch of my life last night. Watch out for that first step. It's a doozy.

[Luke Burbank]

All right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Wednesday edition of tbtl. The show just might be too beautiful to live.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh la la.

[Luke Burbank]

My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host, Notice me, senpai. Notice me, coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia, where we may touch 100 today. It's gonna be very hot.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's gonna be very uncomfortable for everybody.

[Luke Burbank]

We are going to be absolutely testing the limits of what the mini split that me and Walt Burbank put in in the house because it is going to be very warm today. Luckily, it's still early. Things are tolerable out here in the Madrona Hill studio, and I am feeling ready. I've just absolutely housed a cosmic crisp apple and I'm in the perfect mental, emotional, and physical state to bring you episode 4511 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. Hey, we've got an announcement related to the TBTL a thon next week and how you can spend some quality time with us virtually if you can't make it to Friendship, Wisconsin, which I'm gonna assume is most of you. Also, I went ahead and enacted Operation Pizza Dough yesterday.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's cheesy, it's delicious, and kids go nuts for it.

[Luke Burbank]

And I've got thoughts, so we'll talk about that. Speaking of things that are exceedingly hot, let me tell you about the longest running cobra of the show.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm flying in hot for that hottie.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He's Andrew Walsh and he is joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning. Sorry if I mooned you on the camera.

[Luke Burbank]

I did actually see that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. As you were introducing me, I had to. I Had to pick something up off the floor. I saw. Literally, I saw something shiny. And I was like. I didn't know if it was debris or what is a little fragment of carpet. I had to throw that away or what. You know that I have to have my mind in a clean.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Ready to podcast space before I can do this.

[Luke Burbank]

So we're 100%. Do you. Do you have central air at your house? What do you do on these days when it gets to almost 100 degrees?

[Andrew Walsh]

I sploot.

[Luke Burbank]

Mm.

[Andrew Walsh]

I just sploot the middle of the floor. You know what it means? It's like when cats will sploot. Remember. Remember the splooting? Do you remember the spluting squirrel phenomenon of, like, 2019? I swear, we talked about. In this show, there were, like, squirrels splooting. They, like, spread.

[Luke Burbank]

They thought they were dying. Right. But they were just trying to basically radiate the heat out of their body.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think so, yeah. It's like when you lay or were they actually dying? No, I don't think they were dying.

[Luke Burbank]

I just feel like I've never heard the word sploot.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think I learned it on visual way. I think I learned. I want to know what it means in a sexual way. I thought I learned it on the show because I thought there was some story about squirrels splooting all over the place. And it means they kind of. They lay flat on their belly and extend their arms out, and I think it's a way of sort of cooling. What do you know?

[Luke Burbank]

Distinctive pose adopted by animals, particularly dogs and cats, where they lie on their stomach with their hind legs extended straight back, often on the floor or a cool surface. It's a way for them to stretch, relax, and potentially cool down.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wish I could remember the story.

[Luke Burbank]

Also known as frog legging or pancaking.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh.

[Luke Burbank]

Two of my other specialties in the bedroom.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, look, okay, I had the year wrong. 2023. But this is from NPR, so I trust it. The heat is making squirrels sploot. A goofy act that signals something serious. I believe you were. I. You and I were on the sploot beat way back in 2023, but we were different people.

[Luke Burbank]

So you're saying that I at one time knew and maybe even uttered the word sploot, and it is whiffed out of my brain to the degree that when you just said it, it felt like completely new information to me. Not that animals do this, but that it's called splooting.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, now that you put it that way. I know that sometimes when this stuff happens, you start to then question your brain and you start to feel gaslit. And I don't want to do that. So I will say there is a chance that I did this on another show or something, but I. I don't see me doing it on any other platform except for TBTL in 2023.

[Luke Burbank]

The process of elimination.

[Andrew Walsh]

It wasn't the cleaning podcast.

[Luke Burbank]

Probably wasn't Seattle now.

[Andrew Walsh]

It probably wasn't Seattle now, because it's not. I'll tell you what, if this was happening in Seattle, it might have been, but that seems to be a national story. Although I, you know, I can't imagine how a TBTL story about splooting would go. What would we say? The squirrels are splooting? And then that's it.

[Luke Burbank]

Right? That's the part that it seems like there isn't a, you know, enough to talk about. Although that's never stopped us before. It seems like there's not a lot to say other than, man, those squirrels are trying to get the heat out of their body.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, no, no, no, no. Hold on. September. September 2022. Episode number 3768. I'm proud of this one, and you should be, too. Stop where my squirrel will sploot. Okay, that's good. That's really good. That's pretty good. Anyway. Yes. All right.

[Luke Burbank]

So it happened.

[Andrew Walsh]

So I guess it happened.

[Luke Burbank]

We had the discussion. I obviously. Because you wouldn't have put sploot in the title of the show unless it was mentioned during the broadcast. Meaning I have. This is not the first time I've heard that word. And yet it felt it was new to me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Andrew, in fact, felt new to me. Yeah, because we link in the. This is back when I was a young man who linked to articles and show descriptions. Apparently it says, we discussed the death of Queen Elizabeth. And by the way, I'd like to point out this is 2022. We were on this story a year before NPR, for whatever it's worth. The Only way they know.

[Luke Burbank]

Bite my rhyme. Martin Costi.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, this is.

[Luke Burbank]

He's on my list, by the way.

[Andrew Walsh]

That guy has been for years and years. The beef is known, so apparently real.

[Luke Burbank]

And it's. And it's. And it continues.

[Andrew Walsh]

Apparently on this show, we discussed the death of Queen Elizabeth the only way we know how, by getting every fact about the monarchy in British history wrong. Plus, if you see a spluting squirrel, just leave it alone. And.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, so that part I did remember because people were thinking that the squirrels were, like, in medical distress.

[Andrew Walsh]

And.

[Luke Burbank]

Or had, like, died or something. That's the part of the story I remember was it was kind of an explainer on what's happening with the squirrels when they're doing that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you know about the lizards that when it gets cold in places like Miami, they're up in the trees, but then it gets cold and they sort of like, their bodies shut down and they fall and you can wake up on a cold. My. I know this from listening to the LeBatard show. People can wake up on a certain day and just see tons of what look like dead lizards all over the ground, but they're actually just sort of like their bodies are shut down. And there was some ball player, I don't remember who it was, who was new to Miami and apparently, like, collected a bunch of them in his yard and buried them because he thought they were dead and he thought it was the right thing to do. Yeah, that's pretty. It gets pretty dark as I was saying. Yeah. I was like, maybe the irony of.

[Luke Burbank]

Trying to be kind to these. Trying to respect these lizards. And you respected them right to death.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. Anyway, there you go.

[Luke Burbank]

Speaking of Miami ball players, did you watch the All Star Game?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I didn't, Luke. I didn't get to see any of it. You know, these and I were recording until I'm gonna. I don't know, it was like seven o'. Clock. It was at some time, basically. We got done recording and I had a decision to make. Am I going to try to turn on the All Star Game right now and maybe catch, like, the last three innings? And if it was a Mariners game, I would have done that. But there was something about, like, I don't know, there's the narrative. Like, I like watching stuff like that because of the narrative online and everybody blue skiing and talking and chatting and everything. And I didn't feel like watching the last few endings and, like, catching up on all that. Does that make sense? So I was just like, you know what? Not. Not going to dip in at all.

[Luke Burbank]

It also doesn't matter in terms of the playoff race or anything like that. And if the Mariners are. Have already. You know, the Mariners that were in the All Star Game have already had their appearance. You know, it's sort of like, what are you really watching it for? It actually ended up being a weirdly exciting game.

[Andrew Walsh]

I kind of got that. I kind of got that impression from people's chatter also. What's this talk about beef? There's some real. There's something really going down between that awful La Dozier, Kershaw and. And Cal Raleigh. First of all, I get some of these pictures with, er, names confused. I have it right. Clayton Kershaw, he's the, like, kind of. He's the one who put the Bible verse on his pride hat during Pride Week as a protest. And I guess he was miked up during the game. And I don't know if he struck out or I think actually Cal Riley, like, maybe lined out or something. I was trying to catch up on the story and. And going into the dugout, Kershaw is saying, suck it, Cal Raleigh. Suck it. Do you catch any of this? He's like, creating real.

[Luke Burbank]

Catching up on it right now.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let's see.

[Luke Burbank]

I hate that Yahoo Sports, by the way. They're still doing that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good for you. Yahoo.

[Luke Burbank]

Still. They're still. They're still existing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yahoo Is still. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Every time I see that Yahoo Is still plugging away. It's probably one guy, plucky. I like to see it like. Let's see the soundbite captured on Kershaw's hot mic as he returned to the dugout, where he shouted, suck it, big dumper.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Playful jab, Raleigh. That immediately lit up social media. I think he was messing with him. I think it was sarcasm. I don't think it was maybe.

[Andrew Walsh]

But he's saying it behind the back. He's not saying it to his face. He's saying it to his teammates. Sick. I could use without that. I'm also. I said I could use without that. I also think he's a bad human being.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, yeah, I mean, I think that. I didn't know about the pride hat thing. It's, like, unnecessary. Clayton, calm down. I was surprised that he was. Whatever. Now it's getting basebally. I didn't much like Yahoo. I didn't know Clayton Kershaw was still a thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Most people, let alone he's terrible, let.

[Luke Burbank]

Alone starting the All Star Game. You know what I mean? Like, I thought that guy's. He's. I feel like he's in our age cohort.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know if he's that old, but he is old. And I think. I mean, listen, now I'm shooting from the hip and we're going to. I know we have Dodgers fans in the audience who will correct me and just baseball fans in the audience who will correct me on a lot of things. I get wrong here. I'm pretty sure that he's been bad, certainly this season. And I think last season, because he's the guy who used to always collapse in the playoffs. Right. But he would. He would be good during the regular season. And I think he's having a bad season this time. And people were like, why is he even an all Star?

[Luke Burbank]

Like one of those charity vote.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Kind of like one of those lifetime achievement award things at the Oscars or something. That was kind of. That's just with the vibe I was picking up on. I don't know how much of that I got right.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, it was a fun game because the American League was losing by a lot, like six nothing. And then managed to come back and tie it in the ninth inning. And they don't play extra innings now in the all star Game. They have yet another like. It's like a mini home run derby.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that's fun.

[Luke Burbank]

And Randy Arose arena was in it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. So they actually. So they did this. They had the mini home run derby. I'd heard something about. Like, I heard something about it going long or extra endings or something. I didn't know they did this. That. That's fun. How did it. Did you enjoy that?

[Luke Burbank]

I did. It didn't go our way, but it was really. It was actually very fun. They should. This is how real baseball games should end.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that like soccer. Is that kind of closer to what happens in soccer?

[Luke Burbank]

It's closer, yeah. Because you'll get into penalty kicks in soccer where, you know, you get. A guy gets to kick it from the penalty line or whatever they call it on, you know, no defense. And then the keeper has to try to stop it, which is almost impossible task. So when they do it, it's just like a phenomenal moment of sports. But yeah, it was just a. It was a fun. It was a fun. A fun little All Star game where I don't think Cal Raleigh got to do very much interesting. Other than get yelled at by Clayton Kershaw. But yeah, Randy Rosarena did hit a. He got three swings. Everybody gets three swings. So you pick. So the manager picks three players at random.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love that.

[Luke Burbank]

And then those players each get three swings. And which.

[Andrew Walsh]

And.

[Luke Burbank]

And there's three rounds and whichever team has the most home runs at the end of. Or, you know, whatever league has the most home runs at the end of the three rounds. That's who wins. And Kyle Schwarber, the. The American League was leading and. And the. The National League needed essentially a miracle. They needed Kyle Schwaber to hit three home runs on three swings. And he did.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wow. Really? Is he with.

[Luke Burbank]

And I didn't even make me mad. This is Actually, you know what? Honestly, this was kind of great because I didn't really care about the outcome. Of course I wanted the American League to win, like a little bit. I mostly wanted the Mariners to do well because if they are glorified, then as a fan, it somehow redounds to me and I need that in my life. But. But I didn't care enough to where, like when Kyle Schwaber hit his third home run, he went down to one knee to get the ball. And you could just tell right away when he hit it that it was the home run. I was like, I was kind of laughing. I was like, that's pretty awesome.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's how I feel. Yeah, that's kind of how I felt during the Home Run Derby. You know, we talked a little bit about this. You had asked me about a controversy during the Home Run Derby on the show yesterday, and we were talking about how Cha ended up getting the pick over somebody who hit the same number of home runs to move on to the next round because he had beat them by like a tenth of a foot. I kind of didn't realize that, like, fans of other teams really sort of felt it was the first time I've ever heard people talking about a team that I root for in the context of Major League Baseball. Just wanted this guy to win it. And so they kind of nudged Cal Riley and like, you know, you hear.

[Luke Burbank]

Famously, once again, MLB putting its thumb on the scale of Seattle Mariners success.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right, but how many times have you even, at least in the heat of a moment, like, entertain something like that? Well, of course the NFL wants the new LA Rams to. Not la.

[Luke Burbank]

I only entertain it LA with a handful of teams, Andrew, and it is the New York Yankees, the Boston Red Sox, the Los Angeles Dodgers, the Kansas City Chiefs, the New England Patriots. I think that's where the list ends. What about Los Angeles Lakers? The New York Knickerbockers?

[Andrew Walsh]

What about the time I'm getting my. I'm getting my Rams and my Chargers confused, but no Rams? Remember the season where, like the LA Rams were brand new in la and it was the same year that they built that huge, huge stadium that's like.

[Luke Burbank]

Sofi and the Sofi power Hollywood Park Casino.

[Andrew Walsh]

And do I have this right that Sofi also is where the super bowl was held? And it was. It just really seemed like the NFL wanted this narrative of, look, the new shiny team in Los Angeles where you have Rob, what's his name wearing the NFL shield. I'm pretty sure that was the NFL shield. Game too. Rob Lowe. Rob Lowe. And you said all the celebrities. And I remember, and I'm not saying I'm buying into it, but I remember it being like, yeah, that's kind of a compelling narrative that the NFL, if they're leaning towards anything, they want their new shiny toy in LA to like kind of have this Cinderella story or whatever. Not a Cinderella story, but to have this outcome.

[Luke Burbank]

I do feel like I have a sense memory that the Sofi super bowl year was also Covid.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, maybe, maybe I. Maybe I'm getting a lot of stuff.

[Luke Burbank]

Which doesn't mean that they didn't want that. But like, it's just, it's mostly, it's wild to me to remember that there was a period of time where these sports were being played with nobody in the stadium.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Remember, remember fake fans? Remember sponsoring a fake fan in the baseball stadium?

[Andrew Walsh]

We were in the baseball stadium buying that.

[Luke Burbank]

We really should have. Well, we need to save that money for billboard money. Friendship.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. I meant you, me and the fun loving criminals. But I guess, yeah, you're right. We don't have a fundraising operation. We should have done a special fundraiser. Help the fun loving criminals get fake cutouts of themselves in the stand behind home plate.

[Luke Burbank]

Honestly, it's all about connecting with the fan base. Should we offer that as a thon premium? You can be part of the fun loving criminals at a certain price point.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think we need the fun loving criminals to sign off on that. I thought you were going to say a listener at a certain price point gets a cardboard cut out of themselves that we can put behind us during these shows.

[Luke Burbank]

Actually, that is a really good idea.

[Andrew Walsh]

What if you and I are just sitting here and we just have tens be cardboard cutouts of tens behind us?

[Luke Burbank]

That's actually not a bad idea. Hey, speaking of audience engagement, let's talk about next Wednesday, a week from today in fact, when we will be in Friendship, Wisconsin and we will be zooming with the tens of listeners. What are we calling this thing again?

[Andrew Walsh]

We are calling this America's Tens Got music stuff. How did you not remember that?

[Luke Burbank]

America's 10's got music stuff.

[Andrew Walsh]

So this is a zoom night. We've been having zoom nights during the TBTL a thon. You know, for the, I don't know, going back four or five years now. Luke, it's a way to kind of get together with everybody and we just need some, some sort of organizing principle to get everybody to kind of chat. And one year we just did a show and tell. Right. Just straight up like bring whatever you want to show and tell. But we'd already done that. So we were thinking, what about a music theme but not performance? This isn't like, hey, get on the Zoom and play, you know, the first song you learned on the piano or something. It's just like, maybe you have a favorite concert T shirt that holds a lot of special meaning to you or your first cd or a poster that hung on your wall that you still have from the, I don't know, whatever the REM show you went to or just the album that you loved. Anything like that, Anything that is sort of music related that you want to show off with the other tens, you can jump on the Zoom and do that. And also, you can also just. Just hang out. You don't have to participate in that way. You might just want to kind of join us and we'll chat with folks who want to chat and we'll just hang out with everybody. And that's next Wednesday. Like you said, it's exactly one week from today. And I guess. Are we announcing this in central time since we will be in the Central Time Zone. 6:00pm Central.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, 6:00pm central. And the thing is, we would love it if you could sign up in advance. So you can go to tbtl.net by the time you're hearing this, this should be active. And there is probably a link to the signup right at the top of the page.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's there right now. I'm looking at it. Nice, Nice.

[Luke Burbank]

So you can sign up for that. And like Andrew said, if you are a person who wants to talk to us and wants to be kind of the center square, as it were, you can. And if you also want to just like hang back and take it all in and kind of virtually hang out with the tens or chat with them in the chat function, that's also absolutely okay. And this, by the way, it's not a totally random idea for the Zoom. This will actually kind of tie into some larger stuff going on with the Thawne that we will be explaining next.

[Andrew Walsh]

Week when all is revealed.

[Luke Burbank]

So it'll all make sense once we get into the kind of theme of this, this year's Thawne and kind of what the. What the thank you gifts are and stuff like that.

[Andrew Walsh]

So, you know, if you were participating and folks didn't already kind of know about this, you have the perfect thing to show and tell. Music related. You have your. You have your John Prine tattoo. You're looking over your shoulder at, like, what? Well, your John Prine Tattoo would be the perfect music related tattoo.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a really good point.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Or as Bridget Everett's brother thought, when I was in Manhattan, Kansas, last week, my Frank Zappa tattoo.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, did you tell me that other people have said that too, because of the mustache? It is. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

It is a kind of long. It's a common comment, which tells me there's probably something going on. First of all, I think Frank Zappa, weirdly, is not that Frank Zappa is super well known, but I think he's more well known than John Prine, at least his face. And I think probably the saggier my skin gets, the more John Prine starts to look like Frank Zappa on my arm. And I walk in. We were filming at this little cafe in Manhattan, Kansas, and I walk in and one of her brothers goes. He looks at me and he goes, where's Dweezil and Moon Unit?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, his kids, right? Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But I had no idea what he talking about. Hey, what is that?

[Andrew Walsh]

What I mean, out of the blue? Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

And, you know, I had just taken an hour and a half Uber from Topeka, Kansas. You know, it's like kind of a lot going on. There's all these lights set up. Other people are just trying to have breakfast. It's a whole thing. And he goes, where's Dweezel and Moon Unit? And I go, I left him in the car. I left the car on. The AC is on. They're fine.

[Andrew Walsh]

And you didn't even. But I know what you were responding to. You were just sort of trying to play along, right?

[Luke Burbank]

I was just trying to play along smart. And. And. And then later he said something like. Like your Frank Zappa tattoo. Oh, oh, oh, oh. No, it's. It's John Prime. But. But yeah, that.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know who John Prine was?

[Luke Burbank]

He did. Because I think Bridget Everett is a big John Prine fan. It's actually weird because Howard Stern is really getting into John Prine right now. It's very interesting to listen to his journey on that show with a guy who I have obviously a big love for. It must feel the way that it feels for our listeners when you and I get into something that they're into.

[Andrew Walsh]

When I went through my big Joan Osborne phase.

[Luke Burbank]

Precisely. What if God were one of us?

[Andrew Walsh]

Just a stranger on the bus.

[Luke Burbank]

Huh? Do you ever sing that on the E. Line?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, not out loud, but I will say that in your song. That is a. I don't know if I. If I sing. I don't know if it pops in my Head. Specifically when I'm on the bus. Because I'm on the bus a lot. But that is one of those weird songs for, you know, every generation will have songs like, you know, it's a one hit wonder sort of. But it also kind of stands out and sort of it's. I don't want to besmirch it. I think I kind of liked this song when it was out, but I don't know, it was such an earnest song during such a sarcastic time or whatever. And so like, I just. Don't you think that a lot of people our age always sort of have that at the ready in the back of their head? What if God was one of us? Like, almost anybody could sing the chorus of that, right? Our age.

[Luke Burbank]

I think you're right. And I think probably for the reasons you're describing, like, it's. It is actually a catchy song, but it also had this kind of faux profundity or just regular profundity. In a time when a lot of other stuff was kind of going. More sarcasmo. I'm more of a Dishwalla guy. Andrew, tell me all your thoughts on God. Meet her.

[Andrew Walsh]

Meet her Mind blown unicorn.

[Luke Burbank]

You didn't know where I was going with that lyrichead.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

The God was a woman.

[Andrew Walsh]

The God was a woman. Dishwalla. That's the only song I know by them. There's another band I get them really with from the 90s.

[Luke Burbank]

I think if somebody can produce a Dishwalla CD during America's 10 Scott music stuff. Yes, I will be impressed.

[Andrew Walsh]

Indeed. Anyway, that's gonna be a lot of fun. So. And I think we're gonna be doing it from our perch in the. In the town center there. In friendship at the historic Lord willing.

[Luke Burbank]

And the Internet don't rise.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Or the Internet don't fall.

[Andrew Walsh]

Everything. Yes. Yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Like just, you know, Monday morning when we jump on the air and I hope all of you will be able to be following along at, you know, on YouTube and you can go to tbt.net next week we're going to be streaming the show live. We're going to be taking phone calls if you. At I don't know what time are we going to be jumping on? Is it. Is it. When are we doing the show?

[Andrew Walsh]

Actually?

[Luke Burbank]

Have we established that?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, we have. And I think we're doing it noon Central. So we're going to be noon Central, our time. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Gotcha. So 10am West coast, noon Central, 2pm East Coast.

[Andrew Walsh]

That seems good for everybody. Yeah, I like that kind of mid range for everybody. But the plan is to stream these shows live on YouTube and take your phone calls. But.

[Luke Burbank]

But the Internet at the Historical Society right there in Friendship, Wisconsin is. It's not. What is this new campaign that I feel like? Is it Xfinity is doing booming WI Fi?

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know about that. Did they open a can of Whoopa Up?

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, God. They open a can of Whoop up on the. On the competitor.

[Andrew Walsh]

I got to say, he does a pretty good job for a musician. It's great.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it's Xfinity, at least down here in the Portland area. All these signs are. The WI Fi is booming.

[Andrew Walsh]

I haven't heard this.

[Luke Burbank]

That's their. That's their. Their framing technique is that the WI Fi is booming. We don't. The WI fi does not appear to be booming in Friendship, Wisconsin, at the place we are doing it. So if on Monday, when you tune in, when you go to tbtl.net and you click on the button to watch the show, and if you see us there talking and you can hear us and we're taking phone calls, a minor miracle has occurred. Somebody, Jesus, has blessed the WI Fi and turned the water into wine. Turned the water into 350, upload 220.

[Andrew Walsh]

Download water into Wi Fi.

[Luke Burbank]

Is that water into WI fi? Was right. This is why we have two people on the show. Exactly.

[Andrew Walsh]

Because so one person, one person's talking, the other person's thinking. Sometimes it's not as easy.

[Luke Burbank]

So here's one to talk, one to think.

[Andrew Walsh]

I am not trying to drive up anxiety around this just for the sake of driving up anxiety around this. But there, you know, I'm concerned about the fact that we might not have good WI fi that could prevent us from doing, you know, taking phone calls and streaming live the way we want to. But I also just have other concerns, you know, and you and I have been talking about this off air, but I'll talk about it a little bit here on air. The past, I want to say, at least four thons, I believe we have done this setup where we are able to stream live on YouTube. And by the way, you'll be able to access those videos, those live streaming videos at the website tbtl.net and take calls and all this stuff. It's become a bit, you know, it's become some. It was a technical hurdle that each time we do it, I learn a little bit more. And so it shouldn't be as much of a hurdle. The one thing that's sort of like got Me anxious this time is. This is the only time we've done this setup where I've had to fly somewhere and set it up. And so the equipment, like, I just, I keep on thinking about the audio chain and just like if I make one mistake in the equipment that I bring, usually what I would do is we finish up our last regular show here on Friday and I tear apart my studio. But it all basically comes with me. So I know exactly what I need because it's all going in a box. That's why I decided to drive to Denver, because I didn't want to like kind of be in the situation. Then we did it at your parents house. And then we did it. I can't remember all the different places we've done this here at the studio. That's right. And so this time what I did was I had to take a box and sort of think through like, okay, what are some of the things I'll be needing? And I already shipped that off to John on Saturday. I don't think I've ever been so nervous shipping something. I shipped a full audio board, I bought some new cables, just various things that I'm not already using to keep this show on the air now. And I ship that off to John, but that's maybe half the equipment. And then when we get done with the show here on Friday, I got to wrap up the other half of the equipment. And then we're going to arrive in friendship. You know, the evening before we're supposed to go live and get this all set up. And there's one moment that I told you, like, really scared the hell out of me. I was getting ready to ship this box to John and I have my old audio board in a special box that it fits in. And I'm putting that into the bigger box. And then a little voice said, does that board have power? Can that board power up?

[Luke Burbank]

A small still voice as we used to.

[Andrew Walsh]

Small church still voice. This was not a still voice. It was screaming at me.

[Luke Burbank]

It was screaming at me like a small screaming voice.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was a small, deep demon voice. But it was like, does that have a power cable? Because I'd wrapped that thing up a while back and I pulled it out and I'm like, there was a very real chance I could have been in the situation Sunday night unwrapping everything. Everything is ready to go. Except we don't have power to the one board that sort of like powers everything.

[Luke Burbank]

Rules them all.

[Andrew Walsh]

Rules them all. And I was like, okay, you remember in Arrested Development When. When Lucille Bluth thinks she's beating the hell out of her son because he's under the covers. Joe, Not Job, the other one. And then it turns out he wasn't actually under the covers. And she says, well, that one was a freebie. All of that is to say, like, I was like, that one was a freebie. I remembered, like, that small demonic voice in my head, forget the power cable. So I remembered it. But what other things am I forgetting? Maybe this demon voice isn't reminding me of everything. So I'm like. I'm, like, trying to emotionally prepare myself for, like, our first podcast being like, you, me and John leaning over your iPhone and just recording a long voice memo that we post to the Internet later.

[Luke Burbank]

So we take that as an option.

[Andrew Walsh]

We need your grace. Yeah, there will definitely be a podcast in the feed on Monday. The plan is to do a live show with Colin, but this is me working the refs. This is me setting expectations. Luke, we. We still have some things to work out.

[Luke Burbank]

We will absolutely release some form of a podcast on Monday, so know that. But, yeah, everything else is a little bit of a question mark right now, including Wednesday night. We will. Our plan is to do it. We were going to get people signing up. We're very excited about it. It's going to be fun. But. But, yeah, we're just going to. We can't really know until we're there setting everything up what the actual Internet deal. Deal is.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Speaking of Internet deals, Andrew, I gotta put a company on absolute blast today. I would just like to be the first person to tell you if you, like me, are on Instagram and you're getting bombarded with ads for a luggage company called Monos, do not, under any circumstances, interact with this product. I can just tell you from personal experience, they suck. This is the journey that I went on. I mean, I should have known the fact that they have Adrien Brody as their spokes, as their luggage model, that should have been red flag numero uno. But, you know, I am, as I've said, unfortunately, I'm very susceptible to the kind of stylized ads on Instagram that show me a product that I think if I had that product, I would be a different person. And I tend to then buy those products. I also need some new luggage because even though I got newer luggage a year ago, I have traveled so much in the last year that the luggage is absolutely beat up. And I saw Adrien Brody standing broodingly with some metal luggage. And I've seen that out in the World. I've seen people using it. I thought, you know, that might actually be a good idea for me because this stuff just takes such a beating flying all over the country with me that it might be nice for it to be metal. And so I thought, well, let me see what this will actually cost. So I click on the. Whatever the collection is that they have Adrien Brody modeling, and he's standing surrounded by three metal suitcases.

[Andrew Walsh]

Don't you think they should have been concrete suitcases since he was the brutal list? It's so close.

[Luke Burbank]

That would be amazing. Just square. He's just absolutely tortured, staring at this brutalist luggage.

[Andrew Walsh]

And he's, like, dragging it, but there's no wheels. He's just dragging it.

[Luke Burbank]

He's misunderstood in his time, but then eventually, history will. Will. Will side with him. So I click on this button that's like, here, here you can have this metal luggage like Adrian Brody. And mostly what I wanted to figure out was, like, how much is this stuff? Because it's probably really expensive. And so I click on it, and it says, you know, select your set of luggage or piece it together. And so I grab one that's like a. Like a. You know, one that you can put in the overhead, like, you can bring on the plane. And then there's one that's, like, you. You'd probably need to check it. You might be able to get it on it like an international flight, but you probably need to check it. But it's not.

[Andrew Walsh]

Not.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not gigantic. And then I got one that was, like, gigantic. I clicked on one that was really big that you probably could actually, if the plane went down in the ocean, you could probably, you know, sit in it and row to a small, you know, atoll or something in it. And I got that, too. I clicked on that, and I was. I have to say, I was, like, pleasantly surprised at the price point, considering this is, you know, fancy metal luggage. I was like, wow, I'm surprised it's this cheap, but, okay, so. So I select the color, and then I hit, okay, I'm gonna go ahead and do this. I buy it, and I get the email. It emails me the receipt, and I immediately realize, oh, this is not metal luggage. This is the, you know, what would you call it? Plastic, I guess. You know, just the typical stuff that I already have that's already kind of falling apart on me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, so that's what the. Or. Because you had told me a little bit about this off air, and I was actually thinking about it later, and it occurred to me, I didn't quite understand what. What you. I knew what you wanted, but I didn't understand what you. I knew it wasn't what you wanted. So it's like they got the right shapes and sizes of all three pieces, but they're the wrong. But they're the wrong style. They're the wrong materials.

[Luke Burbank]

Precisely. And I didn't realize that because it was kind of shady what they. From moment one, it didn't say, like, oh, by the way, it didn't make it very clear that even though I clicked on a picture of Adrien Brody surrounded by metal slash concrete luggage, that somehow I had been quietly shifted over to their just standard regular plastic luggage, which is also why it was so much more affordable. And so I immediately realized this. I was like, oh, oh, I don't want this. You know, it's. It's probably like, I don't know, 9 o' clock at night or something. It's the. The full moon is out. I'm in a buying mood. Instead of turning into a werewolf, I turn into a person who makes poor financial decisions under the full moon. I tell Becca, chain me up. Don't let me out at the full moon. Next thing you know, I'll be buying some kind of electric toothbrush that irradiates itself or something, and it causes your gums to regrow.

[Andrew Walsh]

But you're great on the high school basketball team. Just fantastic.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. No more wolf. No more wolf. Anyway, so I immediately realized this, and I send an email. I get on the website and I go to the. Whatever. Maybe I click within the email somehow. I immediately reach out to this company, Monos, and I go, oh, hey, I'm so sorry. I ordered the wrong thing. You know, can. Can I cancel this order? I ordered by mistake. Thanks.

[Andrew Walsh]

And can I just interject here, just to be very clear? What you want to buy is something more expensive. You're upselling yourself here. You know what I mean? It's almost like, yes, you'd expect the. The mistake to go the other way. Like, oh, shoot, I thought I was buying something more affordable, but I accidentally put a pickle here because I bought the most expensive stuff and the company, of course, wants to sell me that. In this case, you're saying, hey, listen, I want to spend more money at your shop.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, not quite, because I don't even know how much the metal stuff is.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay?

[Luke Burbank]

In other words, if the metal stuff is three grand, I am not, you know.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

So I didn't even know. That was part of the whole confusion was like, I thought, wow, this is kind of a screaming deal. And then I was like, oh, the reason why is because I'm just buying kind of standard stuff. I didn't. I wasn't necessarily ready to buy the more expensive stuff, but I knew I didn't want to buy the. The plastic stuff.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sure.

[Luke Burbank]

Because again, it was. I was never even able to get a solid price on what the other stuff was. In fact, I don't even know if they actually made the other stuff in the sizes that I wanted, like, if it was in the color black that I want. Anyway, all that is to say, I immediately send them a hey, can we cancel this thing? And I get a response from the help desk that says, sorry, we can't cancel your order because it's already processing. Or, I mean, I could go back and find this. There have been now so many emails, Andrew, it's crazy, but they basically said to me, me. Within an hour of me sending that email, they said to me, we can't cancel your order because we're already shipping it, essentially. And I'm like, I know that's not true. First of all, that's just absolutely untrue. You're not shipping it. You did not in the last hour start shipping this luggage. But whatever. So they. They basically say, you've got options. What? One thing you can do is when the luggage shows up, you can marry it.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's an interesting option. Yeah. Okay, well, they're giving you options.

[Luke Burbank]

Them all, honestly. And, you know, the good news is, yeah, we can. I can still at least do that in this country. I still have that amount of latitude under Trump's America. But no, they said you can either return the luggage and there's a $25 return fee, but we'll waive it. So I give them credit on that, or you can keep the luggage and we'll take 10% off the price. Which is an interesting negotiating tactic because they don't want the luggage back. Honestly, at this point, probably the shipping it out to me and the shipping it back is. That's like, probably the cost of the luggage is already. Now it's eaten up in shipping fees. So I said, well, I definitely want to return the luggage because I know that I don't want it. So they were like, well, you have to get the luggage first and then talk to us and then we'll generate, like, a return receipt or something. I was like, okay. So the luggage finally shows up, and I email them and I say, the luggage is here. And by the way, it's unclear to me if I'm talking to a bot or not or like if I'm talking to AI or not. They have, have, you know, the folks that are helping me. It's. First of all, it's always a different person. They always have a weird, like, you know, they always have a very general name, very general kind of Americanized name that, you know, seems like the AI bot might sort of pick. And they say, okay, well, you have to. They say, okay, we're going to generate the return stuff for you. I'm like, great. Then I get an email from something called Freight Code. Because the thing about these companies, Andrew, and I was complaining this to you off air is they don't do any of the stuff actually. Like they have some other company that they contract with that does the return stuff. That's not what MONOS does. So I get this email from Returns Freight Co. Which says, take a picture of the luggage. Well, the luggage is still in the boxes. Like it's in there in big cardboard boxes. I didn't want to take it out because I didn't want it. You know, I just, I know that I don't want it and I want it. I'm honestly trying to be nice to them. Like, I don't want to damage this. I don't want. I want them to be able to just put it right back on the shelf and send it back out. Yeah, like that seems like the easiest thing, but it will not let me go through the process of getting the return label generated until I submit three photos of each piece of luggage. So that's nine photos at once. Frame Crate co once. So I just take these pictures of the boxes, of the box.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was going to say that my first move would be, let's just see if it accepts three photos, you know, or nine photos total. Take three photos of just the outside of the box just to show there's no damage and it hasn't been opened. Is that what you did?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, exactly. So I take pictures of each box from three different angles and I upload them and it accepts them. And then I get another email. Like two days go by. Oh, by the way, another thing is there's a window of time in which I can return this stuff at no cost to me. There's a point at which I'm stuck with it. And that's also in the back of my mind because, like, I do not want to be stuck with this luggage now. So. And every time I send something to them, it takes two days for them to Respond. And it's a different possible bot person. I've still never heard from anyone at Freight Code Freight Co appears to just be some sort of a. I don't know, you know, like a, you know, go between. What's the word I'm looking for? Some kind of golem, like out of cavalier and clay. It's just this kind of. It's just this thing that like, absorbs returns but does not speak. So, like, I get a note from Mono saying the. That you need to resubmit your photos, but it won't tell me why I need to resubmit my photos. Just says, you need to resubmit your photos. And now I'm getting kind of hot because this is now the probably the 10th email that I've had to send to these people that should have just hit cancel. They should have hit the cancel button. An hour after I mistakenly ordered this stuff. I've got this luggage at my house that I didn't even want. And I knew I didn't want and I told them I didn't want it. They didn't have to put it on a boat and then a truck and then bring it here to the Madrona Hills too. They didn't have to do any of that so stuff. And now they're taking two days in between, like, responses. So they're like, you need to resubmit the photos. And I send an email that's kind of hot. And I said, look, the photo. I. I don't know. Why do I need to resubmit the photos? What's wrong with the photos? I go, if it's because they're the photos of the boxes, it's because the stuff is still in the box. I don't want it. And I didn't need to open it to prove to myself I don't want it. So I send this off. Two days later, I get a response from a guy that says, okay, I guess we'll accept.

[Andrew Walsh]

We'll.

[Luke Burbank]

We'll accept the returns. Although it looks to me like the. The tape is broken on one of the boxes.

[Andrew Walsh]

You gotta be shitting me.

[Luke Burbank]

I shit you not, my friend. Like, first of all, it wasn't. Or if it was, that's just how it showed up. It just, you know, I don't know, got jostled or something. I have not opened any of these boxes. So this I. This is now not a bot. This is a person who was like, enhance, enhance enhancing in the photo of these things to try to, like, so. So it's like, so in Other words, because you think that the tape is broken on one of the boxes. I need to then photograph. I need to now actually do that. Cut that thing open. Open. Take the luggage out. Take it out of whatever it's probably in inside the box.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Take a picture of it. Put it all back in sloppily and then mail it back to you. That really seems like a good process.

[Andrew Walsh]

John.

[Luke Burbank]

This guy was named John. So I send him basically that response like, I didn't open these things. I'm trying to do you guys a favor. This is getting really frustrating for me. Your company is really starting to annoy me, basically. And then finally he says, okay, like a different person responds, so sorry for two days later, so sorry for the hassle. We've generated a return receipt. And I'm like, okay, great. And I click on it. It's only for one piece of luggage.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was gonna say it's only for.

[Luke Burbank]

The piece of luggage that they think I broke the tape on. So like they've now completely lost the thread on what I'm trying to do here. Somebody somewhere thinks I'm trying to return this one particular piece of luggage or that's the only one they're going to accept or something. I don't know. They send me a little QR code, but it's only for one piece of luggage. And that's when I got really mad and I just said, this is getting ridiculous. I forget exactly what I said, but I was pretty direct with them. And I did use my signature. I did throw my signature on there. Media stuff I tend to do. I don't know if the bots care about that. I don't know if John cares about that. I don't know if after Carrot Monos cares or we'll hear the this, but I.

[Andrew Walsh]

Freight Co doesn't, I'll tell you that much right now.

[Luke Burbank]

Freight Co, Honestly, they're like a Beefeater. You should try to make them laugh. You can do any kind of thing. But they will not respond. So I send like a really annoyed email now, which is just like, this is absolutely ridiculous. And then another day or two goes by and I get a response and it's very apologetic, you know, as apologetic but not really admitting false from Manos. And it says, let's see here, let me find it. They and again, what happens is when Mano says, hey, we've generated your label. They're not generating my label. I then get an email from this other company, Freight Co. Thank you so much for your patience. This is from John, I appreciate you giving us the opportunity to make this right for you, blah, blah, blah. And then he says we've now because I said this is the return thing is only for one piece of luggage they send me. He's says we fixed it. We've sent you the label for all three. I get an email from Returns Freight Co. Guess what, Andrew, there's nothing in the body of the email. There's nothing. It is a blank email. Your returns, your return items are ready to ship. There's. And I've checked it on my phone, on this laptop, on my indoor laptop. I have looked at it through the, the, the web app of my email address as opposed to the outlook sort of system that Returns Freight Co just for some reason generated an email that has no. There's no content. And what I did was I just emailed John back and I said, please listen to tbtl.net tomorrow. That was literally the response.

[Andrew Walsh]

Seriously?

[Luke Burbank]

I really absolutely did. I said we have a new listener.

[Andrew Walsh]

And you didn't tell me that at the beginning of the show I would have been doing. I would have.

[Luke Burbank]

We'd like to welcome new listener John who may or may not be a bot.

[Andrew Walsh]

We're going to have John donating during the 2020, if not this one, the 20TBTL fund. John, we're gonna win you over.

[Luke Burbank]

That would be a plot twist that I am so ready for. I literally just said this is absolutely ridiculous. Tune into tbtl.net tomorrow. I don't think anyone from that company is going to do it. They probably think I've lost my mind. But I just want to tell everyone, do not buy anything from this company. They are the absolute worst. Or I guess don't buy anything that you might ever possibly need to return to them. I guess if you really, really, if you know you're ordering the Adrien Brody collection and you're good with that and you don't expect any. You don't want to interact with this company at all ever going forward, then maybe go for it. But, but other than that, I cannot, I cannot highly enough recommend that you don't buy stuff from these people from. Based on personal experience.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think when you said listen to tbtl.net tomorrow. Did you say you stated at some point. Point. The last email you sent me has no. Nothing in it. Right. You said that. And then are they. Have. Have they. Did you say I. Are you giving up here?

[Luke Burbank]

I'm gonna.

[Andrew Walsh]

Are you giving up here and just saying like I'm not even going to follow up anymore or Are you saying resend me the labels again, you doofus? And listen to the show because I'm gonna put you on.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna read exactly what I wrote. So first of all, I took a screen cap of the blank email to prove that it has no. There's no content. And I said, this email doesn't load. I've tried it on multiple devices. Please tune in to www.tbtl.net tomorrow to find out.

[Andrew Walsh]

Nothing puts the fear of God and people like the dot net. Oh my God. Right now they're like dot net. Oh, he's got a dot net. He's coming. Let me. Oh, no, he's got a Zoom event coming up.

[Luke Burbank]

Do we think this guy. Is it possible he has an S corp?

[Andrew Walsh]

John, please join us for the Zoom on Wednesday. I honestly.

[Luke Burbank]

John, do you have any music stuff? John got music stuff, maybe.

[Andrew Walsh]

So what you have right now is a failure to communicate, obviously.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. In the most literal sense.

[Andrew Walsh]

You have three pieces of luggage, right. One that is not. You would not be able to carry on. One that is like a carry on wheelie bag as I call them, that you can put in the overhead and one that is even smaller than that. That's more like a personal item sort of. You could stick it under something.

[Luke Burbank]

The.

[Andrew Walsh]

Under the.

[Luke Burbank]

No, the smallest one would be the. Put it in the overhead, it would be. And the medium one is depending on the kind of plane you're on, you might have to check it. You might be able to bring it on and then the big end.

[Andrew Walsh]

Would you say the smallest one is about the size of the bags you and I got from away back in the day?

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, I'm guessing because I haven't.

[Andrew Walsh]

Opened it, but I might just buy. Here's what I'm getting at. If you can't get rid of them and you have to sell them, I'll buy the small one probably. Because I could probably use an update on my away back. I mean, you could mark it up a little bit if you want. I mean.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, I would mark it down. I'd. You the friend. I'd give you the friend. I was sort of considering at some point, like, is this, I mean, is this ridiculous? I'm not going to do this yet, but I was considering just trying to actually contest it with my credit card company. Like if they don't send me a return label soon or if it becomes the case that they're. I, I feel like the next, the next development in this plot is them saying, oh, Sorry, the window of time has elapsed returning your items.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like that Wells Fargo story we were talking about where the. Yes. The woman accidentally left like vape shot five thousand dollar tip or something, and then they just. Was it five thousand? I think it was. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it was trying to tip five bucks or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

And then Wells Fargo just did not return her calls and slow walked and slow walked it until eventually her complaint was dismissed because too much time had passed. I mean, just like the absolute, just horror story of customer service.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, this is a little south of that. I'm. I'm. You know, I'll be honest, it's not quite that bad. But I could see them saying, I could see a new possible bot. Person, slash, possible new listener Trish saying, you know, like, oh, I'm sorry, we only allow, you know, we're only able to facilitate returns within 14 days of you receiving the merchandise. And since it's been 15 days, we can no longer facilitate this. And if, like, if that happened, I would literally think about, like, calling my credit card company and disputing the charge.

[Andrew Walsh]

I wonder what they'd say.

[Luke Burbank]

I wonder what, the credit card company or Manos.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, the credit card company, because, like, it was yours.

[Luke Burbank]

I did get the product.

[Andrew Walsh]

And. And your mistake for, you know, clicking the wrong button.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not like it was my mistake. Yeah, we're going on Instagram that night. That was the beginning of the problem.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right, Right. You know what I mean? It's not like you were hacked. It's not. It was like, okay. And now they're a terrible company to work with. But I don't know if that falls under, like, the kind of fraud.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm a little. I'm a little. You know, I was, I wasn't like, fully joking about buying the small one off you. Like, this is crazy. Like, if you end up, like, totally out of luck with this altogether, I mean, I guess you could just like, suck it up and use these. Or, like, no joke, like, if you just need to sell them on the secondary market. Genevieve is your girl. Like, she has been selling stuff on ebay a lot lately. She's been like. She and I had a long conversation the other night about how she's learning all this stuff about e. Well, I guess ebay is more of a kind of a bidding thing, but, like, I'll bet you I'm wondering how much of your money you could recoup if these things are literally still in the box you might be able to get. I mean, I know you don't want. I mean, what a pain in the ass, right? But there is a chance that that would be, like. That would be your. Absolutely. I. I don't see you going through all that as I talk about it, though.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you know, I'm. Look, I'm on ebay now, seeing what. But, ooh, I like this one. See, this is what I should have got. I'm looking up Manos luggage. They have one that's Terrazzo. I'm a. I'm just a. I'm just a basic bee, Andrew. And I'm like, so many basic bees. I'm totally in the bag for Terrazzo right now as a. It's a. It's a tile pattern, but it's now kind of on everything. It's a very instyle pattern. But I'm looking. Look at this. Manos check in. Medium rose quartz. Trying to sell it for 179.99. This stuff is all going for pretty close to retail. You're right. And none of these appear to be.

[Andrew Walsh]

In the box, because there is. I don't quite understand the secondary market. You know, another thing. You know, maybe it'd be fun just to get Genevieve on the show one of these days. She can give us a roundup of all of her sort of, like, buying and selling stories. But, you know, this is sort of separate from what we're talking about. But because she and I are not buying things on Amazon anymore, she's shifted to buying a lot of things on ebay. That's the first place she looks. Because ebay, I still think of it as the place where, when you want to find a retro cartridge of Super Mario Brothers 3, you go to ebay to see if, like, somebody's just selling it from their personal collection. But obviously, ebay is really so much more than that. And so many people are, like, selling, you know, professionally selling goods. And so Genevieve says that she's been going to ebay to buy things just, like, you know, sundry items. And often they'll show up at our door in an Amazon box. Like, there's something going on where somebody at ebay is just kind of like, well, maybe I can make a dollar on this listing it on ebay. And then when people buy.

[Luke Burbank]

Somebody at Amazon.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm sorry. No, no, no. Somebody at ebay. So, like, an ebay seller, like, you know, Mr. Mac 261. I don't. That sounds like an ebay name to me. Mr. Mac 261 has Wheeler Dealer 2000. Wheeler Dealer 2000. Was that. Was that yours?

[Luke Burbank]

My actual ebay?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

You guys don't ebay stock me. Okay. Don't go see what Mr. Wheeler Dealer 2000 has been looking at.

[Andrew Walsh]

But you know what I mean, like.

[Luke Burbank]

Setting it to private.

[Andrew Walsh]

In other words, somebody might have just their little online store going through ebay and you buy your, I don't. Let's say a cosmetic or something. I don't know what Genevieve's buying. Let's say you buy your cosmetic and you're like, okay, I'm gonna buy this here from this person. And then you hit buy on it. And then that person just turns around and basically buys it on Amazon for maybe a dollar and then. And then ships it. And basically she said this has happened to her a couple of times now. She's like, you know, I'm trying not to use Amazon. So I go to ebay and they're just using Amazon. And I don't know what the game there is. Like, maybe it's just like charging an extra $1. I don't think Genevieve is going on Amazon to compare prices between the ebay and the Amazon ve that's. She's just avoiding Amazon. So, yeah, there are just like, this. A whole marketplace that is, like, very weird because it seems so weird like that. And I don't know, without a lot of, I don't know, guardrails. It always makes me a little bit nervous. But she's loving it. And again, she's selling. Like, she's now buying pottery and online bids and then selling and then like, recognizing what is valuable and being sold in lots and then selling them individually on ebay. Some really beautiful stuff that she's into. She was trying to.

[Luke Burbank]

She'll buy it at, like, estate sales and stuff.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, she'll do that. She'll buy things. Things like. Because I think a lot of these auctions she's on are like online estate sales where you're kind of bidding on it. And then either it's shipped to her or she goes and picks it up if it's local. But, like, she might, like, see, because she's doing a lot of research on this stuff. Again, she should tell the story, not me, and kind of recognizing what is valuable. But if you buy a lot of these, you know, like, literally a lot of this thing, like you. You buy these three vases. Vases or cookie. She said she was buying. She was bidding on two different cookie jars the other day, and she could not get Kenneth Purcel of her head.

[Luke Burbank]

So I give them about a B.

[Andrew Walsh]

I give cookie jars about a B. But anyway, yeah, so she's buying this stuff and then from other places, then relisting them individually on ebay and not like trying to rip anybody off, but just like saying this is, you know, listing them at their true value and then and making money. But hearing about how you can sort of like, I didn't realize all the tools you can use to sort of figure out the shipping costs and how you can like maybe decide to eat the shipping on certain things as a seller because it's like more, more valuable to like kind of put the ship to include the shipping cost and the overall price. Like that's something I think about a lot. I think I told you I bought some baseball tickets off the like Game Time or some sort of third party app that I was always scared to use. But I was so impressed because I found a good seat for 24. And then when I went to hit pay, I was ready for all of the like this fee, this fee, this fee. It was Nothing. It was 24. Like every. They are listing it with the final price, which is like such a, that's so antithetical to the way a lot of people are doing things today. You get to check out and then suddenly it's like so expensive. And so anyway, she's like sort of learning the psychology of like when to like kind of just put one price and eat the shipping costs or whatever.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what's funny? When I bought, I bought a last minute Yankees ticket when I was back in New York to go see the Mariners. And I can't remember if I used StubHub or SeatGeek, but like one of those ones. And I have to say I was also pleasantly surprised because. And this is, is just again, this is the psychology of fees. Right? Whatever I was going to pay is what I was going to pay. But they, they, they basically the number that was quoted me was the final number.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

So whatever was I paid, I think I paid 25 bucks or something. I think these were supposed to be like. I think the tickets ended up being about half. The ticket I had was about half of what it would have been because I was buying in an hour before the game. But same thing. It was like they were like this is. And they even had a little footnote. There was like, this includes all taxes and fees.

[Andrew Walsh]

Isn't that great?

[Luke Burbank]

Think I. It's just, there's just something about that. And it's funny because they could have listed the ticket for $13. And I've been Like, holy smokes. And then I buy it, and then it goes up to $25. There's something about telling me it's $25, and that being the price that it just. It bothered me so much less.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. That's what I was telling these. I was like, it's not even about money saving for me. It's just about transparency. And I feel like we're living in the heyday of the opposite of that. You go to buy something, and it's especially here in Seattle, where, like, companies like Uber and grubhub, like, keep on adding more Seattle fees, because the cost of doing business here is more because of, like, literally worker protection laws. And they're basically trying to set an example here. Like a worker protection law just kicked in. That has nothing to. I don't think we talked about this on this show. That has nothing to do with actual paying the drivers. It just has to do with, like, you're not allowed to kick them off the app without giving them 14 days notice. If you want them to, like, basically not drive for you anymore, you have to give them 14 days notice. That's the new law. That's it. You can't just, like, a driver can't wake up one morning and find out that they've been kicked off the app and essentially fired. That's the new law. Yet this company, this one is grubhub. I want to say no. You know, it is probably doordash. My apologies. It doesn't matter. But they're, like, adding another, like, fee for that. And what they're doing is they're just trying to tell other cities, don't pass these laws because we will punish your economy as well. And so I just sort of feel like we live in this era of, oh, and then there's the Seattle fee, or there's this, you know, obviously tax, and then the shipping. You don't know what it's going to be. And then until you're at checkout, and then once you're at checkout, it's like, well, all right. Like, I'm already this far along, and you just say, click it. And so I really, really appreciate it. Just, I don't care if it's. I'll pay what it costs, but don't be playing these games with me. Just say it up front. And so, just to reiterate, yeah, I use game time, and I was really psyched about that.

[Luke Burbank]

I. This is unbelievably boring and very much in the weeds when it comes to expense reporting, but you know, there are some people that really, that's why they tune into the show. So I have to satisfy that audience as well.

[Andrew Walsh]

So, John, when I understand it.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. When I go. We welcome new listener and expense report enthusiast John from monos. So when we, when, when I'm on a trip for CBS and I stay in a hotel, you know, obviously I pay for with a CBS credit card. But then at some point I have to go into this system called Concur and I have to file a whole expense report. And, and, and basically let's say I'm staying in a hotel for three nights. Nights. And let's say it's $900.20 or something. What I normally do, I have to, I have to basically. You have to, it's called itemizing. But what you have to basically do is, is just say like, I was in the hotel for three nights and you have to input a number that gets. For each night that gets you up to the total cost. So $920 or something. Right. So I put $200 in for one night. And then I, and then it's deducting, it goes, now you still have 700. And I put 350 in for the next night and 350 in for the final night. And that brings me or whatever the, you know what I mean? I just need to make sure that it, the number that I put in for each of the nights, when you add them all together, it's the total for the, for the amount that was charged on the card for staying there. Now, in fact, those numbers are broken out into all kinds of really esoteric small taxes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, I remember that. Like, yep, from apm, we had. Go ahead. Sorry. I'm sorry.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, yeah, like 4:15, state whatever. And then the county tax and then the entertainment district. Da, da, da. And for years I have not done any of that. I've just been, I've just gone like, it's $900. I put in 300 a night, I hit send. And then somebody somewhere approves it and it goes through. They appear to have changed. I don't know if this is because we're trying to, I don't know what, like, tighten up as we merge with Skydance or something. I'm talking about Paramount amount here. But I got this email back from somebody who double checks these things who said, basically, no, no, you've got to, you have to go in and list every single night individually based on the actual room charge and then all of the taxes and there's little boxes. There are sometimes not enough boxes for the number of taxes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, I've been there because I remember, I feel like we went through the same thing at 8pm where it was like, well, you just take that number and you divide it by the number of nights and you could do that. And I remember at some point the system rejecting that. Like I swear I went on the same journey. It was like you could just do it, sort of fudge the numbers, but just as long as it all adds up, it doesn't matter. And then at some point using the same system concur, it would just like kick it back to you or it wouldn't let you advance on until you filled out like through. Because they're like you said, there's this tax, that tax, this tax. And like you had to fill out all of those individual boxes before it would let you advance or like submit that part of the report. Report.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I had somehow tricked it or we just had a, a more chill bro system where you didn't have to do all of that, you didn't have to fill those boxes and you could get away with just putting a number in the overall. Like Monday night was X amount and Tuesday night was X amount total. And I've been doing that for years. And now there's a new sheriff in town, Christine, who's like, you have to put all of these things in, in exactly where they're supposed to be. And I just. Can you. If you could have seen me huffing and puffing and stomping around my house, Andrew, like a five year old who was told that they, whose, whose iPad has been taken away. I was so mad. I was like, I already hate doing this. This is already like a significant part of my week. This is hours of my week every week just to do these expenses. And now I got to get in there with the like entertainment district assessment of $5.04.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's just like, yes, yes.

[Luke Burbank]

All that is to say you're right.

[Andrew Walsh]

There are a lot of fees there. Yes, there are a lot of fees. So anyway, I, I don't know, man. I'm picturing you. First of all, I'm picturing Joe versus the volcano in a lot of different ways here because that's a, that's one.

[Luke Burbank]

Of those movies where a suitcase plays a big role, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. And there's a scene where he goes, and he goes shopping. Of course he's, you know, he's a man who lived modestly, but as part of this whole like sort of scheme of getting him to feel like he's actually dying and he's going to sacrifice himself to the island gods. Do you know the plot of Joe versus No, I know as I'm saying it out loud, I sound like a raving lunatic.

[Luke Burbank]

I saw Joe versus the Volcano with Peter and Dahlia Williams at the Oak Tree Cinema, my friend. And much like splooting, I remember almost nothing from it, except there is a volcano and there's luggage.

[Andrew Walsh]

Luggage, yeah. So here's. Can I just try to do my best here because otherwise. And then I'm going to play a piece of tape from you which is the opposite of the luggage experience that you've been having. Joe is a downtrodden fella played by Tom Hanks, and everything is very bleak in his life, especially his job. And he goes in this job and Dan Hadiah. This is going to take.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Have we.

[Luke Burbank]

Do we play video of this or you just talk about it?

[Andrew Walsh]

I talk about a lot because you have Dan Hadiah just saying. He's on the phone. Just saying, I know he can get the job, but can he do that? I'm not arguing that with you. I'm not. And it's just Dan Hadiah. Dan had dying out for. I don't even know. Let me see. Yeah, Harry, but can he do the job? I know he can get the job, but can he do the job? I'm not arguing that with you. I'm not arguing that with you, Harry.

[Luke Burbank]

I am not arguing that with you.

[Andrew Walsh]

That goes on for a while. You can hear the buzzing. You can hear the buzzing of figured out.

[Luke Burbank]

You like scenes in movies where white guys yell.

[Andrew Walsh]

Where white guys yell. Exactly. So. So Tom Hanks. And he's also a hypochondriac.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, Tom Hanks is.

[Andrew Walsh]

Tom Hanks is. And he's like. He's got this. He doesn't like his job. He just drags himself through life. He always thinks he's getting sick or whatever. And then he goes into a doctor's appointment one day and the doctor tells him that he's got something called brain clot and that it's terminal and there's nothing that he can do about brain cloud. And he's really bummed by this news. And he goes back to his bleak little apartment. And then I believe. And this is where things are gonna get a little bit fuzzy. I believe a stranger shows up, though, and says, hey, I'm a rich man and I have a deal for you. There is this island. I think things are gonna get a little insensitive. Here, culturally speaking. There is an island where a bunch of natives live. And I don't understand what the actual business. Business deal here is, but the natives believe that once every so many years, somebody has to be sacrificed to the gods by having them jump into the volcano. It has to be done, I think voluntarily. And for some reason this stranger has a business interest in this. So he says, listen, you know, the doctor tells me you have brain cloud anyway, so why don't I just make the last few, you know, I don't know, months of your life amazing by dumping all this money on you and you go this great shopping spree or whatever, but then it all culminates with you traveling to this island and jumping into this volcano. And so he, he says, written by.

[Luke Burbank]

John Patrick Shanley, by the way.

[Andrew Walsh]

Who is that?

[Luke Burbank]

He's a Tony Award winning playwright who also wrote Moonstruck.

[Andrew Walsh]

Moonstruck is one of my favorite movies.

[Luke Burbank]

You're a, you're a Shanley head. You didn't even know it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I didn't even know that. I love Moonstruck so much. You want to know the plot of that? Anyway, so, so all of that is to say that and then it turns out the whole thing is a scam, right at the last minute, realizes he doesn't have brain cloud. He meets Meg Ryan as three different characters. I believe Meg Ryan plays all of or most of the female characters in this movie, which I just thought was amazing at the time. I don't know how well it holds up. I know some of her characters are very over the top. Her performances are over the top. But anyway, and then they kind of one of, one of the Meg Ryans and him fall in love, but he's still ready to sacrifice himself. I won't tell you how it ends.

[Luke Burbank]

Is the doctor a plant?

[Andrew Walsh]

The doctor. It was all, all the doctor was a plant. He didn't really have anything called brain cloud. These business interests somehow, you know, paid this doctor to give him this false diagnosis so that he would volunteer for this mission. And when he's shopping, why do they.

[Luke Burbank]

Want him to jump into the volcano? I can't imagine. These bad businessmen really are like trying to look out for the interests of the folks on the island. Someone has to jump in.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm sure it's probably a real, a real estate deal or something. I don't. That's the missing link in my retelling here. And also I'm probably getting a lot of stuff wrong. I don't know exactly what the interest in interest is in Having him do this, but. And also, I'm trying to think.

[Luke Burbank]

He needs Samuel Granamore. That's the business dude makes Joe an unexpected proposition. He needs bubaru, a mineral essential for manufacturing superconductors.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

And these deposits are on the Pacific island. So. Although, let's see.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's a good borrowed deal.

[Luke Burbank]

It's another one of those Babaro deals.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm Michael Babaro, the daily good one.

[Luke Burbank]

Michael Booberoo. So explain that. You think I would have a better. Oh, wow. You think I'd have better Barbaro, considering how much Barbaro we.

[Andrew Walsh]

You don't need to. You don't need to hone it. You have a whole. Don't you have a whole audio board of that? I do. I am interested in hearing what's going to happen with your. What is going to happen with your. With your volcanoes and with your luggage. When he's going on this big shopping spree, he goes into a fancy luggage store. And this is what I'm getting at here. And this guy is so excited to have to be selling, like, the top line in many, many of these. Many of these kind of. What would you call them, like, trunks, almost. Let me see, this is. I have six. Are you traveling light or heavy? Heavy. Very expensive. Exciting. And then at one point he says, may you live a thousand lifetimes. Oh, here. I think this is it here. May you live to be a thousand years old, sir. That's it. They're not really funny, even when I set them up in context, but I guess I'm just a little obsessed with Joe versus the volcano, to be honest with you. I'm just sort of hearing that now for the first time.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you're kind of making me interested in going back and watching the movie. And also on ebay, looking at this luggage, it's kind of making me interested in just keeping the luggage because I actually like, like a lot.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, maybe you kind of like the price.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I'm. I'm. Because people are trying to sell this. The luggage that I have sitting here in the room with me in the boxes. People are trying to sell the same stuff in different colors on ebay, meaning they've included a bunch of photos of it, like, open and the different features and stuff. And I'm like. I'm not wild about the. About the look of them. They're a little rounded for me, but the actual functionality looks pretty good. I'm almost talking myself into just keeping the light luggage down. Don't. John. John. Earmuffs. Okay. New Listener John from monos. I don't want you to hear this. I'm thinking about keeping the luggage, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

It might be the easiest thing. And also it's a. If it's good and if it's affordable, you know.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, it's, that's the thing. It was still it, it's, it's not that affordable for plastic luggage. It was affordable for Adrien Brody level luggage. I thought I was getting.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I was looking. I was on the page. I will say I don't. I'm. I, I can't say I'm not throwing under the bus and then throwing you under the bus. I, I am confused as to how. When I went to that aluminum page and I was looking at them and when you click on the, when you click on the things from the aluminum page, it does take you to the checkout because I was interested in seeing how much they were and stuff. And by the way, they are expensive. I would not be buying aluminum naughty. I am looking at the aluminum check in medium sized bag and I'm guessing it's probably twice as much. Oh, you were making a joke that I taught. Walked over the aluminum naughty. Sorry about that. So I don't know how you ended up clicking on the wrong thing. I will say that because it did take me directly to a checkout for that aluminum bag and they're clearly labeled aluminum. But.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I think part of it is I didn't want the silver ones that he has. I wanted black ones. So I clicked on. In fact, God, I can't believe we're litigating this right now. But I'm in the, I'm on the website and I think the issue was because I'm looking at it and it all seems very straightforward. Also it's very expensive. I would not have been buying this stuff. I think what happened was I clicked on at the time. I don't think they had. All of this is literally right when this sort of came out. Oh, I don't think that they had it in stock. So if you click on. So here's the thing, Andrew. If you click on aluminum Carry on plus it says notify me when available. So somehow in the process, like in black, they didn't have what I wanted in the color I wanted. And somehow in the process of clicking on it, they just sort of like casually referred me over to stuff that they did have in the color I wanted. And somehow in that little Texas two step, I got confused.

[Andrew Walsh]

But anyway, regardless. Well, I mean, I'm sort of interested in seeing where this all plays out again. The, the metal stuff is so expensive and maybe.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I'm not going to buy the metal stuff. I'm not a. I mean, despite what you've heard, I'm not a guy who buys seven. I'm not Joe, who's about to go versus a volcano.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. You're not planning on throwing yourself into a volcano.

[Luke Burbank]

Unless they have a volcano in the Dells, Wisconsin, like a water park that's volcano themed and you do a water slide into a volcano. I would do that maybe.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, I was thinking about you yesterday because.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I was, you know. Showering.

[Luke Burbank]

Huh.

[Andrew Walsh]

Getting the kind of nice lather up? No, I, I like, I have a little. Do you call it a. I was spluting, just fluting on the basement floor. Just sort of daydreaming about you. That's kind of the end of the story. I was. Would you call them DOP kits? Is that what you call it? The little bag that you'd keep your toiletries. Yeah, stuff in. That was a word I didn't grow up with. We just called them like toiletry bags, I think. But anyway, like, I have just some, like, probably bought it at a CVS 25 years ago. Just some gray Dopp kit bag that when I travel I throw, you know, a few things in their toothbrush, deodorant, stuff like that. I don't have like a lot of specialty needs or anything, but I'll throw just your very standard fare in there. And it's also a little bit big and it's very, very basic. It's like, you know, it's the size of a half a loaf of bread or something. And it's very basic. It doesn't have any bells and whistles. And as I was thinking about packing up later this week and hitting the road to head out to friendship, I was like, it would be kind of nicer to have a nicer version of that or at least just something that isn't. Like, I bought it when I was 21 because I had a last minute job interview in, you know, in Interlochen, Michigan or something, you know, and so I was like, I should buy a nicer. But like, this is where I'm just like, I want nicer things, but I am. I do not like shopping. And you like shopping, maybe to a fault, but that's why you also have a lot of nice things. And so like, I've been thinking, oh, it'd be nice to get a nicer bag, you know, little Dopp kit bag before this, but it's kind of like. And again, now that I'm not on Amazon, I'm like, I kind of don't even know where to begin with that. And I have other things going on. And so then I was just at the house, literally at Fred Meyer the other day, just picking up a bunch of stuff. I'm like, I'll just see if they have any bags. And so I went downstairs and they, for, like 20 bucks, they had a bag that is, like, slightly better than the one I have now. It's, like, maybe a little bit smaller, and it's got a couple of more like, kind of pockets and things that make it a little bit more useful. But I was like, I wish I just had had the patience to find something because you were talking. You and I are different in this, in a lot of ways. I wouldn't go to the extremes you go to, but I think about your story about, like, not wanting to use, like, just a. A basic extension cord. You wanted one that was going to spark joy for you because you're on the road a lot. And I think about that a lot.

[Luke Burbank]

Has absolutely changed my life. I don't know how I spent however many 5 to 10 years traveling so much, never having an extension cord with me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And there you.

[Luke Burbank]

And having to, like, always be in one corner of the hotel room based on where the power location was. That has totally. And it, by the way, it's braided.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, it was something. And does it also have more than one, like, what would you call it, like, input or whatever? So in other words, it's.

[Luke Burbank]

Does not.

[Andrew Walsh]

So it's just one to one. Okay, but that's. But it's kind of, for me, so functionality. And I had said to you, well, why didn't you just go to a. Again, a CVS or a Walgreens around the corner, and you're just like, I just am on the road a lot and I want these things when I take out of my bag. I don't want this sense of like, sort of just like, I don't know, ennui or whatever. I. And so I think about that, and I don't. I wouldn't. I'll never be like, oh, I need a braided cord for that. Not that I wouldn't enjoy it. One of these. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

See one of these babies.

[Andrew Walsh]

Nice little extension cord there. But I did want a nicer Dopp kit, but I ended up just buying this other one. That's like, a slight improvement. I'm like, it's $20. I can still get one. But I was like, it'd be nice to get something that, I don't know, is maybe doesn't have to be leather necessarily, but like, just something that is, like, kind of useful and sparks a little bit more joy for me when I'm unpacking in a place like, you know, friendship and I'm pulling something. It doesn't have to be like, I'm. I'm a very practical person. I don't need everything in my life to be fancy. But there are some things that I'm like, well, it'd be nice to be an adult and have a little bit of an upgr. Great on this. But then I think, yeah, what am I going to do? Well, I'm not going to go to Amazon. What am I. Where am I going?

[Luke Burbank]

I just sent you a link.

[Andrew Walsh]

How do you already. You already bought it. You already. You bought one for yourself. I did, but what it.

[Luke Burbank]

And I tried to return it and they won't let me.

[Andrew Walsh]

But I know a lot of your ideas are sparked from being on Instagram. I'm not on Instagram, so I'm not usually just sort of window shopping in that way either. So I have to, like, go looking for something. But what is this that you sent me?

[Luke Burbank]

This is the one that I have, although I have it in.

[Andrew Walsh]

See? That's so cute.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

See?

[Luke Burbank]

Tiny cloth travel kit.

[Andrew Walsh]

What is this? Now? Did you stumble on this because you were looking?

[Luke Burbank]

No, I have it.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, but I mean, when you first stumbled on it, were you looking for it?

[Luke Burbank]

I think I was in a Filson. I think I was in a fugue Filson state. At the time where I was going in, there was a Filson outlet near where I lived in Bellingham. And I think I went in there a lot just because I liked the stuff. And I think I probably saw it on a shelf and bought it. But I. I still have it and it works great. I mean, it's nothing fancy. It's. It's. It's exactly what you would imagine. It's got a couple of little kind of side pockets inside, but it's a. It's a nice looking little piece of piece of equipment.

[Andrew Walsh]

I kind of like this rust color that it defaulted to.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't. I don't. I'm not into the, like, there's. There's, like, there's tin cloth, which theoretically you would. You could wax it down, but, like, who's going to do that? And then there's like, leather, which, you know, I'm probably not as into but this.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I'm confused because I don't know what tin cloth is, but that's when you sent me t cloth travel kit.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, it's called tin cloth. Sorry. There's one, there's one that's just I.

[Andrew Walsh]

Guess a different color. Okay, Not. We're not dealing with different materials. There's one that it looks like otter green looks just kind of black and boring to me.

[Luke Burbank]

I do think that the. Yeah, but I, I like this rust color. I have a blue one, so. But I'm. I'll be jealous if you get this rust colored one. I'll be jealous of you.

[Andrew Walsh]

I won't be getting this. And also I just spent take whatever this price is and add $20 to it.

[Luke Burbank]

Right.

[Andrew Walsh]

To spend that money on a cheapo one. And I don't know but I guess my point I of all of this is I just am so lazy when it comes to shopping. And again, I'm not looking. You and I are always going to be different.

[Luke Burbank]

Sometimes the only reason I get out of bed, except for the times when I'm shopping from bed, I'm way more practical.

[Andrew Walsh]

So. Okay. Actually I'm coming up with an idea. Here's what we do. You need a personal assistant to input all of your stuff for cbs.

[Luke Burbank]

And yes, I need someone to do a personal shopper.

[Andrew Walsh]

You need a personal assistant. I need a personal shopper. And you probably whatever you pick out for me, you have to pay a quarter of.

[Luke Burbank]

I have a question for you, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Are you traveling light or are you traveling heavy?

[Andrew Walsh]

May you live a thousand years.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I was gonna tell you about my pizza making yesterday, but I feel like we're kind of getting a little long in the tooth. Although I will tell you this, Andrew, and again, it's a very niche group of people that includes apparently my, my brother David and maybe five other people. But I did get some positive feedback about the sheer length of yesterday's show.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, people are. Don't even worry about the content. We should just put out long shows that have like an hour of dead space at the end of it because people are just psyched. People are more psyched in there. Yeah, people are more psyched about the length just as numbers than actually get.

[Luke Burbank]

Very excited about the raw. The raw seconds output. Because like David sent me a screen cap and said, now that's what I'm talking about. I was like, you mean the show title? He goes, no, what did he say? I'm going to find it was actually very funny. He said, now, that's what I'm talking about. And I said, you mean the show title? He goes, no, the fact that it has a longer runtime than most Marvel movies.

[Andrew Walsh]

That'S a good call.

[Luke Burbank]

But, like, people are happy about that. So part of me feels like we should talk pizza and we should just go another hour, but part of me. Part of me has to go continue writing this Bridget Everett piece. So. Yeah, well, I might make another pizza. You know what? I might make another one for dinner tonight, because I've got now four. Well, I have three left dough balls, like, you know, in the refrigerator that you handmade.

[Andrew Walsh]

You literally.

[Luke Burbank]

That I hand made.

[Andrew Walsh]

Angie, we're doing it. We're doing it. We're talking.

[Luke Burbank]

And it. I handmade them and they turned out great.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's good.

[Luke Burbank]

The dough turned out great. Like, it was really dough. I mean, I don't know what I was so afraid of. It's three ingredients. Well, it's yeast, flour, water, and kosher salt. I think that's it. Unless I'm forgetting something. That's literally. I don't know why I thought it was like, this was going to be super complicated, but it was not. And then I. I made the dough, and then I cut it up into quarters and I rolled it into balls, and then I covered it, and then it doubled in size just like they said it would.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love it.

[Luke Burbank]

And I've honestly. I mean, I guess we're just doing this now. I'm very, very. I'm very pleased with the results. I mean, I've still got some. Definitely some improving to make, but it was like I had a backup pizza dough, one more of the Safeway ones that we used the other night just in case this totally fell apart.

[Andrew Walsh]

Smart.

[Luke Burbank]

Didn't even need it. Like, totally, like. And again, now I've got three, like, pizza doughs that are just sitting in my oven or in my refrigerator ready to go for today if I want to make something. I mean, it was so easy.

[Andrew Walsh]

And as you're kind of stockpiling those now, especially the one that you store bought, you can probably freeze those easily, right?

[Luke Burbank]

You absolutely can freeze. In fact, that's what I do.

[Andrew Walsh]

That. Yeah, like a couple of those. And then, like, on some night, you'll be like, oh, I could just pull one of those things out, let it.

[Luke Burbank]

Defrost for a couple of hours that I made myself.

[Andrew Walsh]

That you made yourself. I love that. I never got into because I'm again, barely an adult. Like, I've never gotten into, like, making food Knowing that you're going to kind of freeze some of it for the future. Do you know what I'm talking about? I find it's a very cozy thing. It's a very kind of cozy thing to do. You make this. And it's. Maybe it's because I don't have kids, and so I don't get into meal planning that much, but I kind of like that idea of having the only thing that I make and then have on hand in the freezer is stock. I always have tons of that. But I kind of just really. There's something. I'm not somebody who, like, hoards. I really hate having an overfull freezer or refrigerator. Like, oh. Because I bought these capers two years ago and I might need them again later. Or like, Genevieve's got some stuff that. It's like. The only times I ever fantasize about being single and not having Genevieve in my life is, like, when I'm looking in the refrigerator. And I just think, this would be so much different if it was just my stuff in here.

[Luke Burbank]

I could just.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, well, it would be all the stuff that I already have in there, but there would be room for it, and it wouldn't be, like, pushed in the back because there's hummingbird, like, three different things of hummingbird food that's all the same. And then, like, 17 different kinds of food.

[Luke Burbank]

We refrigerate the humming boot for humming.

[Andrew Walsh]

Genevieve makes it. She makes it by hand. She makes, like. It's just like simple syrup. Right. I don't really know what's in it. It's just, like, water. She makes it.

[Luke Burbank]

You boil some water and put some sugar.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And so then she makes it. And then she fills up her things, and then she puts the rest in little soup containers in the fridge. But it's just like. It's just kind of chaotic. And it'll be like somebody will come over. So she'll buy, like, special olives and cheeses or for a charcuterie plate or whatever. But then the time will pass, and then it's still living in there. And I don't have the authority or autonomy to go in there and make the decisions on that, just to toss it. But I know, no, like, I pulled out. Now I'm just dunking on beef. I'm sorry. I don't need to do this. This is rude. But I pulled out some yogurt, like, plain yogurt. You know, she had a. Like a jug of it in there. I don't really eat yogurt. She had a big thing, a reusable container of plain yogurt. I was looking for some the other day. Things are being knocked over. I just can't get to anything in the fridge. It's so packed with stuff we don't use. And I look at. That's my one. My one sort of argument is expiration or sell by dates. Right? And I pull this yogurt out, which. Luke, this is yogurt. Okay. It's a dairy product. I think you're familiar.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, I am.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, it's curdled or I don't know how you make Yogurt. And it's July 14th. I think this is on Sunday, July 13th, or whatever it was. Then I pull this thing out and I'm like. I look at the date and I'm like, if this is expired, I can throw it away. And I look at it and it says, best if used by February 20, 24, 5. This seems like a slam dunk to me, Luke. This doesn't even seem like one I would need to ask about.

[Luke Burbank]

Was the container, like, had the container sort of ballooned up?

[Andrew Walsh]

The container said hello to me.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

So I don't know if that tells you anything. It was like a bunch of tiny. It was a bunch of.

[Luke Burbank]

Turned into par. And was talking.

[Andrew Walsh]

See, I was picturing more like a mold. But yeah, no, I mean, I guess it was fine. I didn't open it up. I'm not going to open up any dairy products that says it was best used however many months ago that was. Right. Five months ago. A dairy product that I went. And again, I wouldn't probably touch it anyway, but. But I said to these. Hey, I can. Can I throw this away? It was, you know, best buy in. In February. And she looks. She's like, no, no, let me see. She said, let me see it. That's what she was. Let me see it. She's like, no, it's still good. I just had some the other day. I'm going to have some from fruit this week. I'm like, okay. Like, that's. That's your. That's your gutty works. I just don't know why we can't.

[Luke Burbank]

It's becoming more chaotic by the moment.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, maybe it better and better. Why can't we buy smaller things and buy them more often? Why do we have to buy the big containers of things that we don't use enough of? And then it takes up all the space. It is. I love My Sweet Genevieve. This is unfair for me to be dunking on her. But we just have very, very, very different approaches to you know, like just like having too much stuff in cupboards and refrigerators. But she also does make a lot more stuff than me. She's a baker so she, you know, the cupboards. Of course if I lived alone I, I wouldn't have tons of space dedicated to all kinds of cake baking stuff, you know, which she might not use it every day but when someday has a birthday she's ready to make a cake, you know. So I want to be fair about it. But that is a huge difference in us.

[Luke Burbank]

One of my main joys, it's partially an annoyance but also it's very cathartic is I've talked about this a lot recently is like when I get back home, if I've been gone but my parents have been staying here.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I will literally just get a garbage bag out.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

And just start going around and just tossing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

And just like emptying out the fridge of all manner of odd woohoo food or like a half of a, like a half of an artichoke that you know, like there's just like, you know everything that's in there that's weird and just like toss it into a garbage bag and get it right on out of the house. And there's all this room in the fridge.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

I have an, I have an entire like level of the fridge that's just soda water cans.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Like it's the water level of the refrigerator. So anything that is. And what's allowed to go on there is soda water. These ginger drinks called suja that I like non alcoholic beer. No alcohol can be on this level of the refrigerator. For some reason it has to be hydrating products. I don't know why there's a different level that has beer. If I have somebody over and they want to have a beer and stuff that's on the upper, above it. But this one level is only hydrating products for some reason. And when it's all full of stuff like I've taken all of the club sodas out of their boxes and put them away and stacked them and everything. Sometimes I'll just stare at it. It just, just feels sort of comforts me.

[Andrew Walsh]

It just comforts me. Everything's in this place.

[Luke Burbank]

On a really hot Andrew, on a.

[Andrew Walsh]

Really hot day like today, you just open up the refrigerator and you put a lawn chair in front of it and just look at your waters.

[Luke Burbank]

Honestly, put on my AI glasses and just.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's right. I gotta get myself some more Popsicles, by the way. Speaking of, do you still have just, like, a ton of popsicles in your fridge or new freezer?

[Luke Burbank]

Because of the week. As of Sib Fest, I bought a bunch of popsicles. You know what I did? That was a big mistake, though. I also bought, like, a box of, like, mini drumsticks.

[Andrew Walsh]

Ice cream. Yeah. I've never had the mini kind, but.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I don't really have those. It's not actually that product. It's like it though something they sold at Costco. I got them because I thought, this will be fun. And in fact, people really liked them. But there's a lot left, and I don't usually keep that stuff around.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But I think I'm gonna probably have to just, like, hammer a couple of those today when it gets to 100. I also am doing an experiment with my hot tub, which is I've turned it down to the lowest temperature that it goes, which is still like, 80 degrees, which is probably still going to be too warm. I want to figure out how to turn it into basically a soaking pool today, not a hot tub.

[Andrew Walsh]

How can you put. Yeah, just dump a bunch of ice in there.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that'd probably melt pretty quick. I guess that's what I could. If I could get it down. If the problem is it has to be heating a little bit for the filter to be working, I could just turn the power off, and then it would, you know, stop heating, but it would also stop circulating.

[Andrew Walsh]

Tepid and weird. Yeah. I don't think you want that.

[Luke Burbank]

Somebody should make that. It would be cool if they made a hot tub that you could then just turn into, like, a cold plunge. Yeah, I mean, that would take a lot of time. The thermodynamics of that are complicated. But, yeah, but, yeah, it's gonna be. We started the show by me asking, and you answered with a sploot, which then sent us off a whole other journey. But, like, do you guys have central air? How do you keep. What do you do on a hot day? Like, it's. It's going to be, like, 100 down here.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I was looking at the tempo when you said 100. I knew it was going to be a really hot day. Genevieve mentioned that today, this morning, like, oh, this heat wave starting. It says it's 82 right now, but it looks like it's going to peak in the upper 80s for us. Actually. Upper 80s, like 86. So I think we're dodging whatever you're going to be seeing.

[Luke Burbank]

Portland is significantly warmer than Seattle, which I did not realize. I always thought, well, they're pretty close together, but, like, because it's inland a bit, little. Little bit. Like, Portland's got a good 10 degrees on Seattle in the summertime.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. That's interesting. And you're kind of down that way, so. But to answer your question, I'm really, really hot days. First of all, we are lucky. I love basement life. I'm glad that my studio is down here. It is way cooler down here than it is upstairs, especially right now. We still don't have a storm door on our front door, so our front door is closed all the time. We don't have as much airflow upstairs as we usually would. But, you know, we just try to get as much airflow, turn on the fans upstairs. But really, I spend as much time in the basement as possible. You can feel. You can feel the temperature Dr. As you walk down the stairs. And then if things get really, really bad, like several years ago when we had that really bad heat wave, that dangerous heat wave.

[Luke Burbank]

Heat dome.

[Andrew Walsh]

A heat dome. I think me and, like, my buddy Anita and some other people who belong to the Eagles, maybe Katie joined us, too. Just went and did work from the Eagles one afternoon. I remember cranking the ac. Just cranking the ac. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I am with air. I think I'm gonna have to do the unthinkable today here at the Madrona Hill cottage, which is actually pull all of the shades down.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah, Right.

[Luke Burbank]

I have these sun. These sun shades that. I mean, they're very effective, actually, but it sort of kills me because I just like staring at the river. But I may have to pull those down just to try to keep the temperature in the house from getting to a point where there's no. There's no pulling it back.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Have you. You don't have any plants that are you growing, like, tomatoes or a garden or.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I kind of missed the window on that. So I. I cleared out this. This area of my yard, and I got all this pea gravel that I lugged down there that eventually, I guess it's going to be next year. I'm going to build raised beds in this area. But I never built those raised beds, so I'm not growing any kind of edible food out here this summer.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, one thing that I. In the past, I haven't had to do this. Genevieve grows some tomatoes in the backyard, and every now and then she would ask me to water them. But for the most part, it was her thing. But now we have. She planted more plants in the front Yard. I remember the last time you came over here, I. I had just kind of spiffed up some of the rocks. But then Genevieve put down a bunch of mulch, which really improved the looks of the garden. We have a little bit more to do there. But then she also planted. There was just, like, this big area where I don't know if we had pulled something out or what, but it was just kind of a big, dead part of the garden. And so Genevieve got some ground cover plants, like, they're very small right now, but they'll grow over time. And also, a neighbor gave us a nice strawberry plant that she had given up on, and I'm very invested in that thing being good. And we also have just, like, some herbs and stuff, and a lot of this stuff you don't have to water, but the tomatoes you certainly have to do, and certainly the strawberries. And I have found a new happiness in my life. It's amazing how the things that I hated doing as a kid because they were so annoying, because my parents were like, go water the garden. But it's so boring. I just want to watch Hogan's Heroes on channel 19. I'm out here now. I mean, the thing that just brings me the most joy in life is mixing myself a gin and and tonic, a little tangerine and tonic with extra lime. Go outside. The ice cubes clinking in my glass in one hand with my other hand, just watering these strawberries.

[Luke Burbank]

You got your drink in hand and your water in hand.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's right. And I just water the strawberries and the tomatoes, and I'm just like, I sent Genevieve a text when she's out of town. I'm like, can you over water tomatoes? Because I just want to do this all day long.

[Luke Burbank]

My star jasmine is.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, beautiful. That's right. You got that thing.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm so happy right now, Andrew. I'm looking at it through the other, other window. I thought that I had somehow killed these things in the transplantation process or whatever. Even though I knew sleep, creep, leap, I knew they were supposed to kind of sleep for a while, but they are all but one of them, and I assume he's just a slowpoke. They all have bursted out in brand new green leaves.

[Andrew Walsh]

Beautiful.

[Luke Burbank]

There's not any. There are no actual jasmine plants on there yet. But they're all looking super healthy. And I think my plan is gonna to work because the idea is I, I. We put up this big trellis on the house for the stuff to kind of, like, entangle itself. On and then become kind of like a, you know, a sort of a. I don't know what you call it, almost wall art or something of plants. And it looks like it's working there. The plants are thriving now. And every time I walk by them, by the way, I. They're supposed to be drought tolerant, not supposed to water them a ton. But I love watering them so much that I come up with excuses, right? Because I have a hose that I, I had put in on the corner of the studio that I can just. It's on one of those retractors, one of those reels. So I just, I walk it down to my star jasmine. I put it on soaker mode on the thing. I just kind of stand there and soak them till a little water comes out from under the planter. And I'm just like, it's, it's, you know, it's the closest thing I do to parenting anymore.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's so, it's so satisfying, isn't it? And especially, yes, you're. Do I. For me, I'm always doing this at the end of a day, right? It's like the sun isn't down, it's not dark, but you know what I mean? It's like early evening, but you're, you're receiving, responsibilities are done and you're just out there like kind of. And you think all these plants have just been baking in the direct sun all day and they're really thirsty right now. And so now it's time to like. And it's just like, I don't know, man. It's so, so satisfying. And again, you know, I don't know how the show got so young. Me with my heart, my at home heart pressure monitor and watering the garden.

[Luke Burbank]

Somebody has to fill the Ed Hume void in local Seattle radio when it comes to gardening talk. And we are those people. People.

[Andrew Walsh]

So do I look like I know what a JPEG is?

[Luke Burbank]

That's one of your best impressions. Those are your two best impressions.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know I can get the job.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, thanks for listening, everybody. We are going to be right back here tomorrow. Oh, my God, Andrew, I don't want to wind you up, but tomorrow's Thursday.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know.

[Luke Burbank]

And then the day that comes after that is Friday. And then, and then the day that comes after that is Sunday.

[Andrew Walsh]

I got it all somewhere. Yeah. No, I mean, luckily. I think that, I think that it's going to be good. It's going to be a fun time. What is the worst that could happen? Actually, don't answer that.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, everybody, thanks for listening. We will see you tomorrow. In the meantime, have a great Wednesday, stay cool, and please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to all. You travel the world, you're away from.

[Luke Burbank]

Home, perhaps away from your family.

[Andrew Walsh]

All you have to depend on is yourself and your luggage.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I guess that's true.

[Andrew Walsh]

Are you traveling light or heavy? Heavy. Flying. Flying.

[Luke Burbank]

And by ship.

[Andrew Walsh]

An ocean voyage. Yes, very exciting. I believe I have just the thing. Wow. This is our premier steamer trunk. All handmade, only the finest materials. It's even watertight. Tight as a drum. If I have a need. And the wherewithal, Mr. Banks, this would be my trunk of choice.

[Luke Burbank]

I'll take four of them.

[Andrew Walsh]

May you live to be a thousand years old, sir. Power out.