#4519 And You Don’t Believe In A Todd?

Summary

Podcast Summary: TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live – Episode #4519 "And You Don’t Believe In A Todd?"

Host/Author: Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh
Release Date: July 28, 2025
Description: TBTL is a daily show hosted by two longtime friends goofing their way through the world the best they can. In this episode, Luke and Andrew delve into a variety of topics ranging from personal anecdotes about aging and household habits to humorous takes on travel experiences and viral internet memes.

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1. Opening Banter and Reflections on Aging (00:00 - 02:54)

The episode kicks off with Andrew Walsh expressing his unease about turning 24, leading to a humorous back-and-forth with Luke Burbank about rapidly increasing ages.

• Andrew Walsh (00:00): "You guys are the best thing that happened to me all night running into you guys. It's hard to meet people, you know, you get older."
• Luke Burbank (00:14): "24, 28, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34."

This light-hearted exchange sets the tone for the episode, highlighting the hosts' camaraderie and playful interaction.

2. Successful Thon Week and Community Appreciation (03:00 - 05:00)

Luke reflects on a successful TBTLathon, thanking listeners and the Historical Society of Adams County for their support.

• Luke Burbank (03:04): "It was just a very successful TBTLathon in the rear view. Thank you once again to everybody who donated last week and who participated..."

This segment underscores the show's strong community involvement and appreciation for listeners' contributions.

3. Laundry Habits and Household Discussions (05:00 - 07:00)

The hosts discuss their laundry routines, especially the debate between air-drying towels versus using a tumble dryer.

• Andrew Walsh (04:58): "I like a whole snuggle Snuggle. Is it really called Snuggle?"
• Luke Burbank (05:11): "That's really called Snuggle."

Their conversation touches on personal preferences and household habits, adding a relatable element for listeners.

4. Airport Security and Travel Experiences (07:00 - 17:00)

Luke and Andrew share their recent travel experiences, focusing on airport security protocols, the hassle of TSA lines, and the perks of being recognized by TSA personnel.

• Andrew Walsh (06:22): "And they're like, we trust you. You don't have to unload anything."
• Luke Burbank (07:20): "It was the easiest travel day you could possibly imagine."

A notable moment includes Luke bumping into a fellow named Clem Fandango, who discusses his lifelong CBS viewership and future plans.

• Luke Burbank (10:07): "It is Todd Glass, by the way. I just want to shout out... the truly hilarious standup and podcast host Todd Glass."

5. Bus vs. Airplane Culture (13:05 - 17:00)

Andrew contrasts the communal and supportive atmosphere of bus travel with the competitive and stressful nature of flying.

• Andrew Walsh (13:07): "One of my favorite things about being a bus person... we're all in it together."
• Luke Burbank (14:38): "It's a cutthroat world."

This discussion highlights differing social dynamics in various modes of transportation.

6. Yard Work and Hummingbird Feeder Antics (17:00 - 25:00)

The hosts delve into backyard maintenance, specifically dealing with dandelions, and share amusing stories about aggressive hummingbirds.

• Luke Burbank (31:05): "I don't think that that's what you look like. But I was going to use our favorite go-to reference for wispy hair. The Crypt Keeper."

Andrew recounts his frustration with hummingbirds dive bombing him, linking it to a listener's email.

• Andrew Walsh (23:09): "If you're sitting in the hot tub with these glasses on and you are texting with Evan, I think you said..."

7. Podcasting with Tech Gadgets (25:00 - 28:00)

Luke discusses his experience with smart glasses, exploring their augmented reality features and frustrations with battery life.

• Luke Burbank (26:34): "But I'm very certain that they could be, you know what I mean, just to."

This segment underscores the hosts' interest in integrating technology into their daily routines.

8. Mountain Dew Jingles and Viral Ads (38:00 - 61:00)

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to dissecting a Mountain Dew commercial jingle that has gone viral, becoming an earworm and the "song of the summer" for the hosts.

• Andrew Walsh (43:37): "I just discovered this for after these messages. This is a... this was the Mountain Dew jingle back in the 1970s."
• Luke Burbank (52:43): "Give me something simple and true... All I need is sunshine and that cool, refreshing Mountain Dew."

The hosts animate a playful critique and appreciation of the jingle's evolution over the decades, sharing snippets of the original 1970s commercial and comparing it to contemporary versions.

9. Listener Emails and Commercial Analysis (61:00 - 69:00)

Andrew shares a listener's email related to the Alka Seltzer "I Can't Believe I Ate the Whole Thing" commercial, sparking a discussion about its confusing messaging.

• Andrew Walsh (64:00): "Here I go once again with the email."
• Luke Burbank (66:01): "I feel like Luke used to be in this era. It was kind of like shorthand for some kind of a hick person."

They analyze the commercial's narrative and its confusing tagline, exploring its impact on viewers.

10. Closing Remarks and Future Plans (69:00 - End)

As the episode wraps up, Luke and Andrew reflect on their personal routines, discuss future podcast themes, and share humorous anecdotes about household chores and personal habits.

• Luke Burbank (77:27): "Love being home. Love talking to you, Andrew. Love all the tens of listeners who were so kind as to make this our job for another year."
• Andrew Walsh (79:00): "And good luck to all. Power out."

Their closing remarks reinforce the show's friendly and inclusive atmosphere, encouraging listeners to tune in for future episodes.

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Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Walsh (00:00): "It's freaking me out a little, you know?"
• Luke Burbank (07:20): "It was the easiest travel day you could possibly imagine."
• Andrew Walsh (13:07): "One of my favorite things about being a bus person... we're all in it together."
• Luke Burbank (17:59): "But you guys are great roommates and I appreciate you giving me the big bedroom with the ensuite."
• Andrew Walsh (43:37): "This is the song of the summer."
• Luke Burbank (52:43): "Give me something simple and true... All I need is sunshine and that cool, refreshing Mountain Dew."
• Andrew Walsh (64:00): "Here I go once again with the email."
• Luke Burbank (77:27): "Love being home. Love talking to you, Andrew."

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Conclusion:

In this episode of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live, Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh offer a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and light-hearted discussions on everyday topics. From the quirks of aging and household chores to the complexities of airport security and viral advertisements, the hosts engage listeners with their authentic and entertaining banter. Notable moments include their deep dive into Mountain Dew jingles, analysis of classic commercials, and relatable stories about hummingbirds and yard work. The episode underscores the duo's ability to find humor and insight in the mundane, making it a delightful listen for both regular followers and new listeners alike.

Transcript

[Andrew Walsh]

You guys are the best thing that happened to me all night running into you guys. It's hard to meet people, you know, you get older. I'm gonna be 24 in May. It's freaking me out a little, you know?

[Luke Burbank]

24, 28, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34.

[Andrew Walsh]

35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46.

[Luke Burbank]

No.

[Andrew Walsh]

40, 47. No. I'm gonna be 49. 50. I'll be 50. It's weird turning 50. Sometimes I think, oh, my God, what the happened?

[Luke Burbank]

It scares you. 53 in May. So.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, now I'm sticking to that, even though that's not true. I look good for my age. There's no reason I should have to go higher than that. You guys are being. Oh, my God.

[Luke Burbank]

Am I that annoying?

[Andrew Walsh]

TBTL look, it's the first line of the film, man. It's gotta be on the money here.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, you got category I9C3G6.

[Andrew Walsh]

I9C3G6.

[Luke Burbank]

Is that as good as it sounds?

[Andrew Walsh]

You have a robust sense of self and are well suited to leadership positions.

[Luke Burbank]

Characteristics. Strength, determination, tenacity.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, I suppose that's accurate.

[Luke Burbank]

They do call me Tenacious Ray down at the country club because for the past 10 years, I've been suing them for discrimination.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is Clem Fandango.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, can you hear me?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, I can hear you, Clem Fandango. Jalapeno.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Monday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Meet the next generation of podcast stars. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. I feel happy of myself coming to you today from the Matrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia. Bring it back home, baby. Bring it back home. It is an absolutely gorgeous day here in Southern Washington. Oh, Ma Pa. It's just beautiful. Feels really good to be here on a Monday to be home, but also to have a very successful TBTLathon in the rear view. Thank you once again to everybody who donated last week and who participated and who came out to the Friday picnic get together there at the park. It was just an absolutely wonderful week. Also, you know, at the end of the show on Friday, I'd meant to thank specifically the folks at the Historical Society of Adams County. Of course, I'm talking about our friend Michael. And we've got Patrick, we've got Jerry, we've got Marilyn, we got the whole crew. And I just want to Say thanks to them as well. I forgot on Friday I was so. I don't know, I was just getting in the zone for going and buying hundreds of dollars worth of hot dogs and hamburgers for the party that I.

[Andrew Walsh]

Forgot to do that.

[Luke Burbank]

But anyway, thanks to them and now it is time, my friends, the first day of the rest of our life together. Here with episode 4500.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wow.

[Luke Burbank]

This old bell maybe had a cobweb growing on it over the week that I was away. Episode 4519 In a Collector series, Let the fun begin. There's a TikTok meme that's going around. He's got like every meme ever produced on the Internet. It's like the audio of a little. I think it might have been a television ad for a British travel company. And it is, it's a real earworm, as we say. It might be the song of the summer. Some people are saying. We'll play it for you and talk about that. Oh, and of course we're going to talk to this guy. He's the longest running cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He also slept in his own bed last night. Finally.

[Andrew Walsh]

In short, things are going extremely well for him.

[Luke Burbank]

He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning, Luke. You can't see this because I had to turn off my camera today for some technical reasons. But if you were to be able to see behind me right now, you would see shadows fluttering across the room. You would see maybe even some fabric fluttering behind me because I have so many clothes out on the line right now drying in the sun. We were talking about this on Friday. Had to.

[Luke Burbank]

But no towels, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

No towels. No towels are out there. By the way, quick caveat on that because I extend I went around the picnic on Friday evening and everybody who talked to me, I asked them where they are on the towel debate whether or not you should hang bath towels outside to dry if you like that starchy feeling when they come back in. Or if you're like me, if you like to tumble dry them with whatever that bounty fab, which was the fabric softener that had the little teddy bear on it. Louis, we already talked Downy, was it? Downy? That's what I'm going for. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

TED 2 TED. Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

That would be a very different branding choice. Anyway. No, I don't have any towels out there, Luke, but I do have shirts and pants and it's like a whole snuggle Snuggle. Is it really called Snuggle?

[Luke Burbank]

That's really called Snuggle.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I thought that was the. I thought that was just a little dog named Snuggles. I knew you were going for that.

[Luke Burbank]

I also. That is also the name of the product.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is the name of the product as well. I didn't know that. Anyway, I just want to let you know I am living that laundry line life over here. Nice. As we discussed on Friday.

[Luke Burbank]

That's excellent. Did you. You flew home yesterday? I flew home Saturday night. You flew home yesterday.

[Andrew Walsh]

I did, yeah. I got home a little bit later than I thought. It wasn't a problem. It was the easiest travel day you could possibly imagine. I'm loaded down with all kinds of, like, equipment. Like two laptops, like a bunch of digital converter boxes. Yeah, I just had all this stuff and I packed it in a way that wasn't the most convenient. Cause I had like a bag that was really heavy with a lot of stuff in it. But I packed it that way because I know when I go through security, you gotta unlo all of that and put it in individual trays. You know, each laptop in its own tray. But in Minneapolis St. Paul Airport, they just. I don't know why, Luke, I don't know what if it's video games or what, but they take a picture of you. They use some sort of facial recognition software. And because of that, they're like, we trust you. You don't have to unload anything. I'm like, I got tons of radio gear in here. And they're like, just put it on the belt. No issues. It could not have been easier.

[Luke Burbank]

That's awesome. Now wait, you do not have pre check then.

[Andrew Walsh]

I do not. No, I do not have pre check. I have never had that, but I should probably get it. But what I really need is a real id. That's my big project now that I'm back home.

[Luke Burbank]

Versus the one that you made that says McLovin.

[Andrew Walsh]

The one I have is from Hawaii. Exactly, exactly. I don't have to carry passport.

[Luke Burbank]

If you have pre check you, I don't think you have to take stuff out. I don't think I've taken the laptop out of my, like, you know, computer bag or whatever you want to call it in a long time. I think that's part of that pre check life. That's nice that you didn't have to take all of that stuff out. I had an interesting experience at the airport. I checked my bags and I am walking towards the security and there's actually, it was, I was there Saturday and it was a dead. It was just like, it was like nobody in the airport. And I'm going up to these three different chutes to get into the actual TSA area. And one of them is regular, one of them is pre check. One of them is clear and one of them is regular. And they each have a person standing guarding the chute. And I walk up to him and I said, which one of these. Oh, no, one was, one was first class, which I had been. Amazingly, I had been upgraded.

[Andrew Walsh]

They're marking first class at the TSA lines now.

[Luke Burbank]

It's airport by airport. But some places if you're in first class, they actually have a dedicated line for that so that you can skip ahead so you don't have to wait in the regular line. Now that's not a pre check line so that you know, you have to take your shoes off and stuff if you don't have the pre check. But basically it was the holy trinity of privileged traveling.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was.

[Luke Burbank]

I love the fact that Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

[Andrew Walsh]

So the idea here, because we know that TSA is about nothing but security and safety, right? So first class doesn't have to be scanned as much because a terrorist would never buy a first class ticket. Is that the deal or is it. This whole thing is based on classism?

[Luke Burbank]

It's. Well, it is that, of course. And, but no, it's, it has nothing to do with the amount of security that you will be subjected to. What it has to do with is how long of a line are you going to wait?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, sure. I'm sorry, yes. That we're not yet in.

[Luke Burbank]

We're not, we're not getting padded down. We're not going through the various, you know, backscatter machines. We're on the farthest outside part of it where like they check to make sure you have pre check because if they don't, people will just go through that line and then they'll get to the actual TSA person and they won't have it. They'll get sent back, you know, which by the way, man, I'm. Here we are. It's day one of the post thon. We're settling back into real life. And I'm really coming off as an elitist, but there is something that is, makes me truly happy when somebody barges their way to the front of the TSA pre check line and they get up there and they don't have it and they have to, they're sent back to the regular I don't know why that it feels that, why that fills me with joy. It shouldn't. But it's something about, I guess just the, to me, the audacity of seeing all these signs that say, oh, this is a certain kind of line that you have to have gone through this whole process to use. And then somebody just thinking, yeah, but they probably aren't going to notice. Now maybe I laugh because that is also my way of thinking. Like maybe I see, maybe I see a kin folk doing this. But anyway, all that is to say I get to the. I'm at the place where there's three, three different ways to enter. And these are all three things where someone's checking. Because if you, if it were a really busy day, presumably these would be a faster line to be in. And I'm like, well, I have all three of these. I go, is there any advantage? And they kind of go, not really. And I look over and the guy who's like guarding the pre check line goes, are you on tv? And I, I've gone around and around. This is not a question that I get very often. Honestly, it's probably happened 15 times in my life total where I've been somewhere and somebody's recognized me from, from CBS.

[Andrew Walsh]

Maybe, maybe 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, 48. But I look good. That is Todd Glass, by the way. I just want to shout out, yes, please. The truly hilarious standup and podcast host Todd Glass. Just from some bit he was doing on like TikTok or whatever.

[Andrew Walsh]

So funny, so funny.

[Luke Burbank]

But, but so the guy says, hey, are you, are you on, are you on tv? I go, I go, yeah. He goes, you're on Sunday Morning, right? I go, yeah. And he goes, oh, you did that story with like Bridget Everett. And I was like, yeah, wow, good memory. And I sort of, he, he, he gives me his hand, I shake his hand. His name is Charles Bush and he is, he works there at the airport. He's about 75 years old. And he tells me his whole routine with cbs, which is that he watches the CBS this Morning, the kind of flagship morning show every day. He then like he records it so that he can then listen to it later. Like he is a serious CBS watcher. And he said to me, he first became aware of CBS when Charles Kuralt broke into the broadcasting, the regular coverage, I believe, to announce the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. And he said I was seven. So whatever big news event, I don't know if it was that or if it was Kennedy or it Might have been Kennedy. Those all happened kind of unfortunately in close timing to each other. But he basically said he was a school kid and Charles Kuralt came on to the airwaves and something in his brain shift and he became a lifelong CBS viewer, which was really interesting to me. But then he also mentioned something. He said, oh, yeah, and, you know, next year I'm gonna go to law school. Dude is 75 years old. When he retires from the airport, he's gonna go to law school. And then he said he's just gonna do that for fun. And then his plan is he and his partner are gonna probably sell their house in the Twin Cities and. And move to Rome. Andrew. And work with the poor.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wow.

[Luke Burbank]

You want to, like, I mean, save some. Save some benevolence for the rest of us, Chuck. Like, what a guy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now this is interesting. You're finding it interesting. I find it interesting. Do the people behind you in line find this interesting? Are you holding up to the line? Okay, but so is he just now he's engaged with you, so he's just letting everybody just flow through. He's not even checking. It was so dead.

[Luke Burbank]

It was so dead that, that, that he didn't. If it had been a busier day, that would have been a serious problem. As it was, he and I were able to have like a 10 minute chat without anybody else needing his services. But I did step. I intentionally stepped to the side so I wasn't just clogging up. Yeah, clogging up the TSA PreCheck entrance. Like a. Like a taco time tater tot. Clogging. One of my orders.

[Andrew Walsh]

I told you we're going to get you that angioplasty soon. Yeah. Okay. One other thing. Can I go back to you talking about traveling? I sort of a revelation. I think it's a. It's. It would be as a lowercase R revelation, by the way. But when you hear it, you're gonna.

[Luke Burbank]

Be like our revelation. Yeah, like small D. Democracy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. You're gonna see. I'll just get there. You're talking about how you have that feeling of sort of like, I don't know, joy or I guess schadenfreude, honestly, is the perfect word when you see somebody who's trying to kind of skip the line a little bit or not follow the rules or doesn't know or is maybe just like kind of clunking their way through the airport and not paying attention to the rules or doesn't know them and how you get a Little sense of that schadenfreude when they get rejected. I totally am not gonna make you feel bad about that because I can totally relate to that too. There's something about seeing, especially for me, as a rule follower, seeing somebody get caught, cheating, or rejected for cheating is very satisfying to me. However, for me, it underscored and go with me here, the difference between taking the bus and flying in an airplane. Now you might say, yes, Andrew. There are several significant differences between riding a bus and flying an airplane. One goes along the ground on wheels.

[Luke Burbank]

The other one flies.

[Andrew Walsh]

One of the first things in terms of key differences, cost comes to mind. But also, this is why I want to talk about culture. One of my favorite things about being a bus person, and I do identify as a bus person, is that we're all in it together. Your pronouns are, Eli, I can see somebody running on the street. I might not have anything to do with this commute. I might not be on that bus or even trying to catch to that bus. But when we see somebody running after a bus that they might miss because the bus just stopped and somebody's running after it, or the bus is about to take off and we see somebody running, everybody roots for that person.

[Luke Burbank]

100 everybody.

[Andrew Walsh]

If people are on the. On the bus and they see this, they yell at the bus driver. Sometimes you get the impression, this is very rare around here, but sometimes you get the impression that the bus driver just doesn't care. And if that's the case, the people on the bus get angry. If you're off the bus. Did I tell you I helped a fella who. He was near Green, let's see, near Greenwood. He was, like, trying to get on the bus in a place that wasn't technically a bus stop, but it was near a bus stop, and the bus driver was not letting him in the front door. But what he. What this fella didn't realize was. And I could tell he was really pissed off, he's like knocking on the door and the bus driver's not opening it. But what he didn't realize was the bus driver open. Secretly opened the back door for him. And this guy's about to. He's about to stomp away. I'm like, dude, dude, back door, back door. And he's like, oh. And he's a total stranger, but he looks so grateful. He scampered onto the bus in the back door. Like, the bus driver's like, I can't just open the front door here. It's not technically a stop, but I Got you. He was stopped at a red light. So anyway, point is, there's something so communal about the bus riding experience and there's something so competitive about flying. You're just like, I hope this person isn't sitting next to me. Or we're all waiting for that upgrade or if you're flying standing standby, there's so much competition.

[Luke Burbank]

You're absolutely right. You're. It is a. It's a. It's a cutthroat world. And also let's. Let's throw. What was the term? Somebody called them? Like gate lice or something?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah, I thought about them.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, the people who clog up the, the boarding of the plane long before their. Their, you know, section or their whatever you want to. Their group boarding group has been called.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Their group C. And the. And the attendant has just called group negative A. And they're already like just clogging everything, by the way.

[Luke Burbank]

Not to brag, but yeah, you're absolutely right. There is, I think because air travel is so demoralizing that it does create, unfortunately, the sense of like, people turn on each other pretty quickly because it's mostly terrible for everybody. And so you start to see it as a zero sum game. Somebody else getting on the plane quickly or having an enjoyable time means less enjoyment for the rest of us somehow. Like, you're right, it is. Although here's the one thing I would. If I see somebody running through the airport, I am rooting for them to catch their plane.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's true.

[Luke Burbank]

But that's the only similarity. Everything else is. It's me versus you, it's my comfort versus your comfort, et cetera.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, yeah. I did get in a little bit later than I was expecting. This isn't a huge deal, but there was just a lull in the conversation and I got nervous. But I was just going to say I had a wonderful time. I was telling everybody. I don't think I talked about it on the show, but I was telling everybody at the picnic that we had a really, really great week in friendship and it was a very busy week as well. This was not the type of thon. And by the way, this might have been my favorite TV tell a thon ever. It was just so special in just in so many ways. And I think we acknowledge that on the show. So at the end of the week, I didn't feel burnt out the way I have during other thons. Like, we weren't, we weren't like, you know, speaking of chasing, we weren't like trying to Hitchhike or do something like that. Super over the top. Like, will they be able to achieve this thing? It was just like, oh, it's just a wonderful week. But it was a long week, right? And a long week of like, of, of having roommates. I don't usually have roommates. And so like, it was just like.

[Luke Burbank]

It was great for me. I didn't have to do one dish the entire week.

[Andrew Walsh]

You guys are great roommates and I appreciate you giving me the. The big bedroom with the ensuite, but I really was looking forward to a very quiet night in St. Paul. Like, just not like, not really engaging with anybody at all. I kind of just like took a, took a walk around. I had a big meal at a chop house and just. And then went back to my hotel room. I told you, I bought a six pack of hams beer. Some of the best labeling on beer I've ever seen. I don't think it's changed since 1970.

[Luke Burbank]

You sent me a picture of that. And I mean, that looked, that looked like that should be in a commercial for that product.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I'm staying in this hotel that sort of has that kind of more like old world sort of elegance. Whatever. So I grabbed the ice bucket, which is like an actual, like kind of metal ice bucket, and I just, I fill it with ice and put three hams beers in there. It's kind of a culture clash, but I had a wonder. But it was perfect because of the time.

[Luke Burbank]

That looks like you had an Instagram filter listed as stepdad on it. Like 1980s stepdad behavior.

[Andrew Walsh]

I certainly did, but I thought I was playing it perfectly because I had a pretty late flight. Like it was like midday, like 12. I wanted to be at the airport at 12:30 for a 2:30 flight because that's how I roll. Which meant on Sunday I didn't have to wake up early. Like, I had my Saturday night all to myself, but also could sleep in late on Sunday. It was all. And usually if my flight is delayed, I'm very aware of it. But it was sort of a death by a thousand cuts for me on Sunday. It was like, sort of like, oh, we've been waiting here for a long time. Why aren't we boarding? It's like 15 minutes. And then I finally look, I was just kind of doing my own thing. And then I looked down. I'm like, oh, I guess we're delayed a little bit. And then we were delayed a little bit more. Then we get on the plane and I swear we sat on the plane. I might be exaggerating, but it was one of those things where the plane didn't move for a long time and I'm literally sweating. I think it was 45 minutes. I might be exaggerating. It probably wasn't an hour. But again, it was one of those things where I don't notice for a while. And so I'm like, damn, we've been on this plane for a long time. I'm literally starting to sweat is rolling down my forehead. What is going on?

[Luke Burbank]

There's a whole situation with the temperature on the airplane and how much they can run the fans if the plane is not like in motion or hooked up to the generator. So there is this period of time where they've unhooked. Now we have actual pilots in the audience who will probably tell me I'm wrong about this. My sense of it is once they unhook the generator, which is basically the battery power. Once they unhook the battery power to the airplane and now the airplane is going to be operating under its own power. It's fine when it's moving, but if it's unplugged from that. But sitting there, you're screwed.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

As the people sitting on that airplane. And that is a. That's a bad feeling.

[Andrew Walsh]

And then SeaTac is under a lot of construction right now. So it's absolute chaos with people getting off the planes and then like trying to find kind of around the baggage claim area and then looking for ground transportation. Like everything is a mess. And people and the flow of just like human traffic, well, that's got connotations. I don't mean there, but just the flow of people is just so absurdly. Talk about a Chris Sullivan choke point. It was bananas. And then for people coming to pick people up, Genevieve picked me up from the airport. Again, you're asking how. How often we do that for each other? Well, she had time to pick me up from the airport, but I stood at the curb for quite a while because of all this construction. All that is to say I didn't even get home until like around 8 o' clock to start setting up my studio again. And I thought it was going to be like. I thought I was going to be home by like 4:30 or something. It was just like again, sort of. It was not a frustrating day of travel, but it was one of those things where everything was taking longer than I thought. And I didn't realize it until later, but here we are mostly up and rolling again.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I got in Saturday night, which means I had like, all day Sunday. This was a real, like, kind of Andrew move. I thought, like, I had a buffer day.

[Andrew Walsh]

A nice buffer. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Got up on Sunday, made some coffee, got in the hot tub. I didn't even think that was a morning activity until siblings weekend when my sister Liz came downstairs with her towel at like 8 in the morning and said, I'm getting in the hot tub. I was like, that's. I didn't even. I think of that as an evening activity. I think of that as when Calgon takes me away. But anyway, now it's my whole thing. And then I was sitting in the hot tub drinking coffee, and I'm wearing those silly meta glasses and I'm texting with my buddy Evan. And I didn't even realize this. And again, I apologize for doing an ad for these stupid things, but he was telling me about, like, battery life. He's like the big complaint because he bought some too. He said the big complaint on them is that it really just chews through the battery life. And I said, well, why is that happening? He said, well, because of the, like the AI thing. And I was like, oh, I didn't even realize. Or not AI thing, but the kind of like, it will answer your questions. Basically, you can be looking at something. Like, I could be looking at the pizza oven and I could just say to it, like, I could do this prompt, like, to the glasses and say, how do I cook pizza in one of these ovens? And if the oven says ooni on it like mine does, it will just go, well, this is an ooni oven. And it'll just start telling you this. And the best way to do it is this temperature for this amount of time. Or like, if you're, you know, if you're looking at a sort of a landmark, you could say, hey, what am I looking at? What's the history of it? It will take a picture of it. It will analyze the picture, and it will tell you the whole history of it, the thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

And that's up a lot of the power, huh?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. But I didn't even know that was a thing. So then I spend like an hour just like going, hey, glasses, what's the story on the. The Trojan nuclear plant? Remember the one I was talking about that I thought might have been the inspiration for the Simpsons in. In. In St. Helens, Oregon? And it tells me, by the way, it was never actually operational.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh.

[Luke Burbank]

In other words, they built the whole thing and then. And then couldn't make it operational for whatever reason. And then eventually just blew it up. Now, that's government efficiency.

[Andrew Walsh]

I guess so.

[Luke Burbank]

But like, I'm asking about the history of the Lewis and Clark Bridge there in Longview, and it's telling me that when it was built, it was the longest, whatever kind of bridge it is. Cantilever or something of in. In. In America, maybe in the world when it was built in such and such time. And now that's been eclipsed. But are you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Are you using the glasses looking? Are you asking about these particular questions? Because you can see you have an eyeline towards them. So you, like, turn your head and you look at where the nuclear power.

[Luke Burbank]

Plant used to be, and now it's not seeing that. For the record, I'm not going, hey, what's the deal with. What's the deal with what I'm seeing? I don't think it's that advanced. But if I were in my. You know, again, if I was in my house and there was. I'm. I can't think of a good example, but there are things that apparently. Here's one. I was looking at these aliens. I have these purple. In the words of our buddy Cisco, I've got these beautiful purple balls that are kind of have grown up in sort of wild, beautiful purple balls that have grown up and they're sort of up come these chefs. Hold on, Cisco. Calm down, buddy. God. Give a Cisco a cookie. Anyway, I was looking at those and then I said, hey, what are those? And took a picture and it told me that they were these aliens. They're basically like wild garlic that. That are growing in my field here. So anyway, that's a whole other thing. Again, I don't really want to promote these things because they do come from the pit of hell, AKA the mind of Mark Zuckerberg. But I just keep finding out new stuff about them that's kind of blowing my mind.

[Andrew Walsh]

If you're sitting in the hot tub and you're wearing these glasses and you look kind of. And your feet are kind of floating in the water, can you just like, look at your feet and say, rate my feet?

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't ask it to. To do that, but I bet you it could build me an OnlyFans site for my feet.

[Andrew Walsh]

Or a wiki feed.

[Luke Burbank]

I said, hey, could you set. Or a wiki feed or any of those things. Hey, can you set me up with this? And it probably could go off and do it, I guess. I keep having these. There's so much stuff with technology that's like, it promises to do something and it just doesn't Deliver or whatever. Again, with all the caveats being offered that these are making in some way the world a worse place by their very existence and by the fact that Zuck got X number of my dollars and that I'm here once again sort of singing the praises of these things. They continue to exceed my expectations like they are. They are actually an incredible integration of the things that technology can do. Like if you're wearing them and you're wondering about something, you could ask it how to do that thing or to take a picture of a thing and tell you the whatever. And it just does it. It's like, it is very, very impressive device.

[Andrew Walsh]

When you are sitting in the hot tub with these glasses on and you are texting with Evan, I think you said it was. Who also has these glasses you're talking about these glasses are the glasses part. They could be.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm sure I haven't. They're not in this case.

[Andrew Walsh]

But you're just texting with your thumbs or whatever. You're not like, yes, you're not glasses bros. And somehow these glasses are helping you communicate with each other.

[Luke Burbank]

No, but I'm. I'm very certain that they could be, you know what I mean, Just to.

[Andrew Walsh]

Use them as a phone. Probably just take a call or whatever.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm sure I could tell them to. Yeah, tell them to text, you know, whomever, and then just start talking and they would just sort of do it. To be honest with you, they actually are a little uncomfortable to wear after a certain amount of time because even though they're pretty light and they're pretty non clunky, there is a certain amount of technology in there which the sensitive bridge of my nose does notice after a while. And actually that's good. It's good that they couldn't solve every single design challenge because they're more uncomfortable. After about, I don't know, 30 minutes, I started to go, oh, this is feeling uncomfortable. And that's good, because that's like, well, maybe I should disengage from this cyberpunk experience.

[Andrew Walsh]

I do think I'd be more tempted maybe. I mean, I don't think I'd be that tempted, but I think I'd be a little bit more intrigued is probably a better word if there were more of an augmented reality aspect to them, which I know was like something that they were trying to make happen 15 years ago or something. It kind of didn't work with Google Glass. And maybe that would just make them seem unusual to a lot of people, like kind of complicate your vision too much. But I feel like if there was that sort of functionality that you could turn off if you didn't want it, but you basically sort of had a version of like, not Predator, that would be just heat. You just be seeing the heat waves of people. But.

[Luke Burbank]

But what if someone cover themselves in mud?

[Andrew Walsh]

Then forget about it and see them. They're invisible to you. Exactly. That's true. What if I got a pair of glasses that make me see, like Terminator? You get one that makes you seem like. See like Predator and we can fight. But no, but if you did have a sort of a Terminator kind of aspect to it, where you can look at something and it gives you a little readout that only you can see, that'd be. I would be way more. When you were wearing those the other day, I wasn't tempted to put them on. If you told me there was some sort of augmented reality, I think I might be more interested in seeing how that would work.

[Luke Burbank]

It's funny because that is not something that I can think that I really have strong thoughts about. Like, you know, if I can, like, Pokemon go with it, or if I could see what a couch would look like in my living room or, you know, if my reality was to be augmented. But what this thing does do is all the stuff that I want it to do, which is I want to listen to music mostly, and then I want to take pictures and videos that are reflecting what my eyes are seeing. Those are the two main things that I needed to do, and those are the two things that it kind of does. But the other thing I did on Sunday was I mowed hundred, thousands, if not millions of dandelion stalks that are now the only thing that is living in my lawn area, you know, and it's actually, It's. It's kind of unsatisfying because you just like. It's actually harder than mowing the regular lawn, because the regular lawn, you just go in a pattern, but there's large stretches where it doesn't. The lawn doesn't need to be mowed. It's not growing. But there'll be like one dandelion. Then I'm driving, trying to get it, and then somehow I don't hit it. And that's like. Like it's. You're just kind of going around trying to mow these things down, which, you know, are just going to grow right back in a week or something. I mean, they're like. I think I made this joke on the show the other. Why don't they make the whole lot, the whole lawn out of the dandelions. Like, how have they figured out how to thrive with no water? Like, I wish that my grass did that. And then, you know, it'd be a lot more environmentally friendly to have a lawn.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, we came home. I actually asked Viv, did you mow the lawn at all? Or is it just in that mode where it's not growing anymore? Because even us, like, so we come home, it's a little bit depressing this time of year. You come home and the beautiful green lawn that you had just a couple of months ago when we were coming out of the rainy season is now just like pure, light brown, dead, dry grass. Unless you happen to have an area of your yard that isn't in direct sunlight. Like, there are some places where like, the. The house casts a shadow for more of the day. So there's a little bit of green there. But pulling up to the house, I'm lucky. Like, we have the big green hedges, which are a little bit shaggy right now, but not out of control. So at least there's some green. The. You know, once you get inside our yard, it looks really nice. Genevieve's done a beautiful, beautiful job with the front yard. I'm gonna keep saying beautiful like that, but it's a little depressing when you. We drive up and you just. Your entire lawn is just totally brown. But we didn't even have those stragglers. I know exactly what you're talking about. Where you have those stragglers that are like really annoying. You're like, I gotta mow this lawn. And it is so. It's awful. It's dusty and it's awful. But it looks terrible to be mostly dead with just these stragglers. You know what it is? It's like my hair. Like, I need my hair just to go completely bald at this point because I got these stragglers that are like just. Can we just get rid of that permanently?

[Luke Burbank]

I don't think that that's what you look like. But I was going to use our favorite go to reference for wispy hair. The Crypt Keeper. The Crypt Keeper of lawns. Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Or the Homer Simpson. Yeah. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

What are we even doing here? The other thing that I did, Andrew, yesterday was I refilled all of the hummingbird feeders around here because for the second time in two weeks, a hummingbird friggin dive bombed me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

To tell me, bro, fill the hummingbird feeder. I was. This happened before. Like, so we mounted up in Wisconsin on Sunday and so the Saturday before that, I was here at the house and I was having my coffee in the morning. I was sitting it on the deck, and, like, I was close to where there was a feeder that had, you know, had run out of water or whatever. And I swear to God, a hummingbird flew an inch from my ear, just dove right past me. And it was terrifying because I was not expecting it. And like, you think like a bee flying by your ear or something is loud. That one of those things. And I was like, all right, all right, I get it, buddy. So I refill the. The hummingbird feeder, and then I leave, and we're in Wisconsin all week. And then I come home, and guess what? The hummingbird feeder is empty. I'm sitting in the same chair. I'm drinking my coffee. It's now Sunday morning. It's like it's basically almost exactly a week later. What happens within three seconds, Hummingbird freaking dive bombs. Me, probably the same one. This hummingbird has probably figured out that this big. This meat sack, who likes to sit out on this, whatever this thing is, is also somehow responsible for their sugar water. And if there's no sugar water, if you go and you fly close to the meat sack, he gets you more sugar water.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And they're. I. Am I wrong about this? I think hummingbirds are kind of a. Holes, right?

[Luke Burbank]

Like, they're very notoriously.

[Andrew Walsh]

They're aggressive animals.

[Luke Burbank]

Animals, yes. Towards each other and apparently towards the people who are taking time out of their busy schedule. Me, I'm talking about. I'm the person in this story to make them their sugar water. And then when it runs out, they're aggressive towards me, which again, I have kind of mixed feelings about. I kind of. I don't like that's how they're letting me know. But I also kind of like that they are associating me with what? You know, with the nectar that they're getting and that I feel like I have a kind of a. Like a. A friendly but also sort of slightly toxic relationship with this hummingbird who keeps dive bombing me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, the bird. The bird feeder right outside of our front door and the deck. The hummingbird one. Genevieve's got a million little feeders around here. But I do think that the. You know, I know they say that crows can recognize people and then even pass that information along to their young. Like, hey, yes, this.

[Luke Burbank]

It's epiphenomenal.

[Andrew Walsh]

This.

[Luke Burbank]

The. The crow's anger at us humans, but.

[Andrew Walsh]

Or. Or friendship. Honestly, I think the crows bring us. Bring us A lot of gifts. Now, we don't really want those gifts. We always say to the crows, please, no gifts. But boy, do they bring those gifts anyway. And they are gruesome at times. But I don't know what the deal is with hummingbirds. But I know that they must have some sort of recognition because I don't think these hummingbirds would be getting this close to me if they weren't comfortable, if they didn't know it was a bit of a safe space, you know what I mean? Because, like, I'm just standing. It wasn't empty. It wasn't asking for food. I'm just outside talking to Genevieve and I'm kind of not thinking about how close I am to their feeder. And my head is kind of right there until I hear this. It sounds like a really loud bug. And I realize that the bird is just like hovering right in front of me, waiting for me to move so that it can get a little bit more safely to its feeder. I'm just like, all right, I guess the cool thing here is I know I'm irritating you right now, but generally speaking, you trust me. You just trust me to be in your way right now.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I feel like I'm building some kind of a relationship with them. Also my star Jasmine. Andrew, it's leaping. Dude. I thought I was gonna have to wait a whole year before. Cause it was sleep, creep and leap. But it appears to have jumped right to the leaping phase. There are actual flowers on it now on the various. One of them. So I had six star Jasmine starts and five of them are totally flourishing. One of them still seems like it's kind of sort of of still figuring it out. But generally speaking, it's like, it's totally working. I'm like, so excited about this now. I want to mention too, that we met so many great folks in friendship on Friday. And then we went over to the it's five o' clock somewhere bar and had a super fun hangout. It was amazing. I made friends with a listener named Matthew. And Matthew said something extremely dangerous to me that night. He said, I don't really care what you and Andrew are talking about. I just like hearing you guys talk. And I was like, boy, you shouldn't have said that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wow.

[Luke Burbank]

Because now I'm gonna just talk about star Jasmine for the next and my excitement around it for the next 20 minutes. No, but like, yeah, there's a million banal things around the house that I enjoyed doing and dealing with, including also brewing iced coffee. Andrew, for the first time so you're actually like.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like you're cold brewing it or you're making cold brewing. Oh, interesting. How do you cold brew? I've never done that.

[Luke Burbank]

My brother David. Well, you get a brother named David.

[Andrew Walsh]

You get a brother named David. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

You invite him over to your house and then he brings you these. These, like coffee. It's like cold brew coffee, kind of. Not satchels, but, you know, what would you call it?

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, is it like a tea bag almost?

[Luke Burbank]

It's like a tea bag, but really big.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's a box.

[Luke Burbank]

It's like a bag of those. And you put like 7 cups of water into a pitcher, and then you throw two of these bags and you let it steep overnight. And then you take the bags out and you've got yourself iced coffee.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. So it's not even a special device or anything. It's just. It's just the drink. It's a coffee.

[Luke Burbank]

But I think. I think that the difference between this and regular coffee. David said something about bitterness. He also worked at Starbucks for many years, so he knows from coffee. And I think it has to do with like, you know, the stuff that. Or they're just figuring out a way to. To, you know, sell me coffee in a different format. That's. Or sell my brother coffee in a different format. But yeah, I like, steeped this iced coffee overnight, and now I'm having it here on a warm Monday from the Madrona Hill studio. Life is good, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Feeling good. Feeling good. I'm glad. I'm glad to hear real good.

[Luke Burbank]

If only the Mariners would have won yesterday, I'd have been feeling amazing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Speaking of that, that was one way that the. My flight, it was not a super long flight. I think it was three hours on the way back, but it flew by. Luke, if you will. Because as a T Mobile customer, I have traditionally been able to get one free half hour of Internet access on Alaska flights. This is just like one of the perks, and they've had that for quite some time. But now there's a new thing where I can still get a free half hour of this. This is for you, Matt, since you don't care what we talk about, I can still.

[Luke Burbank]

He's in Hawaii swinging a hammer right now on a roof.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's about to get his thumb.

[Luke Burbank]

Like he's going to be. Yeah, he's whenever. When things get very boring on the show, he's going to get blamed.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's made a terrible mistake. But anyway, so there's always been this little perk. So if I'M on a three hour flight. Sometimes I'm like, well, about maybe halfway through, when I'm getting bored, I'll fire up that free half hour of Internet. That's a great perk, by the way. It's a great perk. Well, listen, it just. It just got better because I think maybe a year ago or sometimes somewhat recently, not only do I still have that, or I have, I'm guessing annually, four free full trip sessions that I could use. So yesterday I used my first one. So the second I got on the plane, or the second, you know, they turned on the WI fi on the plane, I log in and I'm like, yes, I want to use one of my free full flight sessions of wifi. And I noticed T Mobile said it works for streaming too. And I'm like, you're crazy for this one. I turn it on, I open up. There was some weird things going on with the broadcast yesterday. They blocked it off of Root Sports. But you could watch it on the MLB app. We don't have to get into that. But I open up the MLB app, I go to MLB TV or whatever, and it takes a while. And I'm like, oh, there's no way I can watch this game in the sky. Turns out I could watch the game in the sky. It buffered for a minute and then clear as day picture on my phone. I put it up at the little, like, you know, that was a smart decision to put those little phone rests at eye level on the back of the seat in front of you. I just put the little phone up there and just watch like, I don't know, six innings of a Mariners game. It was a really bummer of an outcome. But, like, watching sports really makes the time go by.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. My flight from Seattle to Portland. So I had to go from Minneapolis to Seattle, then down to Portland. That flight was delayed in taking off pretty substantially. But I was just sitting there watching, you know, that game with great interest. Same thing. Like, it didn't. It really took the edge off of, you know, any delays and stuff because I was able to distract myself with my baseball men's. Cal Raleigh did hit a home run yesterday, though, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

He did. Number 41. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

41. Which is pretty, pretty, pretty exciting.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's.

[Luke Burbank]

That's rapidly becoming often the only silver lining of a Mariner game.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Did Cal Raleigh do that amazing thing once again?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what, Luke. I could talk baseball with you forever. I'm not trying, I'm not trying to take the reins of the show here. But I'm kind of excited about your Top Story because I want to add to it. All right.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, here we go.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hello. Hello and welcome to Top Story.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm glad you can add to it because honestly, I don't have a ton to say about this other than this is a sound that's just been kind of living in my head for the last couple of, you know, I don't know, maybe weeks or something, which is a commercial for a Jet2 holiday. And the way that it has been memeified on TikTok is basically when things are going terribly wrong, people will just put this audio underneath and when they're sort of in motion, I guess. So, for instance, like, if someone. If there was something that happened in the New York subway system recently where like the whole subway platform started flooding with, like, inches of water, and it was flowing, I think, into the subway cars, and somebody, of course, has their phone out, they're videotaping it on their phone. And that's where you put this sound effect in. That's, I guess, kind of basically calling out the irony of a situation. Like, basically when things. Things are going very badly, you play the following piece of tape underneath it. Some point I want to make here.

[Andrew Walsh]

That I think it's.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, not that one I was like.

[Andrew Walsh]

For you, I thought this was a big buildup to an inside joke.

[Luke Burbank]

No, it was. It was me clearly dragging the wrong piece of tape over. That's our friend Chris Hayes talking. I think that was where I was pulling some. Some drops from him. Let's see. Let's see if I can find this now on the fly. Because there is, as we know, Andrew, a red button on the Internet that will allow you to. Let's see. Sound that will allow you to just play this sound. I thought I was being slick. Oh, you know what? I actually have it here, too, in this other program that I really. This is really not paying off, Matthew.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is on you.

[Luke Burbank]

This is actually on me because this has been on the show sheet for about a week. Okay, so here's the little sound effect that people are putting under sort of travel related or being in motion related, like disasters.

[Andrew Walsh]

Nothing beats a Jet2 holiday. And right now you can save £50 per person. That's £200 off for a family of four.

[Luke Burbank]

That's it, Andrew. That's the sound effect. New York Times. Claire Fahey writing in the New York Times. What exactly is a Jet2 holiday and why are people talking about it? The voiceover and SoundTrack from an ad released in January 2024, has gone viral a year and a half later. And it just goes on to sort of detail how it doesn't actually get to the original. The moment that somebody thought to put that sound effect, that Jet2 holiday sound effect underneath something. But I just pointed out that it's getting put on everything. It might be the sound effect of the summer, which maybe is the new. We don't have songs of the summer anymore because of a fractured listening landscape. But now we just have the meme sound of the summer. That's the world we live in, apparently.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, that's where I swing in and tell you something I've been wanting to tell you for a long time anyway and that Veeves and I talked about on after these Men messages. Because I do have a song of the summer. I'm being quite serious about this too.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, okay, good, I'm in the market.

[Andrew Walsh]

And in speaking of the market, this is also from the commercial marketplace. This is a jingle, but I'm saying it unironically that this is the song that is going through my head. So except for Sealed with a Kiss, which I've been listening to a lot and of course Chad and Jeremy summer song. This is the song that will always remind you. This I cannot remember.

[Luke Burbank]

It's one of those old timey bands.

[Andrew Walsh]

One of those old timey. I played it for you on the jukebox at the poling.

[Luke Burbank]

To the new Justin Bieber. Importantly.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh no.

[Luke Burbank]

Does the Bieber have apparently got his.

[Andrew Walsh]

He.

[Luke Burbank]

He does and people are going crazy for it. Apparently he's got his. He's got his swag back. He's got his. There's a. There's a whole meme about Justin Bieber basically having a lot of soul. And they'll call him. Folks online will be like. And primarily folks who happen to be black will say, like, he's got his light skin back. The idea of being like he's invited to the cookout, like, Justin Bieber is like bringing a soulfulness that like, that means that he's fitting into the black community. I just saw a bunch of people being like, oh yeah, light skinned Bieber is back.

[Andrew Walsh]

The Filled with a kiss version that I've been listening to. And I think this is the original, although might not be the most famous is by Brian Hyland. I don't want to get pulled off of the. Okay, okay, keep going. A little bit of this.

[Luke Burbank]

Talking about light skinned beaver.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sealed with a kiss.

[Luke Burbank]

Guess it's gonna be okay. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love that so that's my own personal song of the summer, Light Skin, Andrew is back. But I have the real song of the summer, which is less melancholy and less wistful, I would say. And it's from a commercial and it's from a radio commercial. I'm very, I'm kind of curious as to whether or not you've been hearing this. I'm hoping the answer is no, because if you've been hearing this, I'm thinking you might already have gotten to the stage where you hate it because of the repetition. But it's a Mountain Dew song.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

Does this ring any bells to you?

[Luke Burbank]

No.

[Andrew Walsh]

So here, let me explain it to you in public radio terms, Luke, in a way that I was trying to say this to Genevieve, but only you would fully understand this. Do you know how Morning Edition has its Morning Edition music? And it's got the special one minute version that they use for billboards and those billboards. This is the one minute of kind of content that happens right before the NPR News. It tells you what's coming up in the show.

[Luke Burbank]

And it's, by the way, stepped on. Let's just take this to an even more esoteric place. It's stepped on by all the local stations now, pretty much.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I didn't know that they were doing that, but I like that. This radio station that I grew up with, I guess that was probably WKSU or whatever. When I say grew up with, I mean, kind of was my introduction to public radio as a young man. They just let it play as you know, basically the Morning Edition national hosts will say, you're listening to Morning Edition. They give the date, I believe, and then there's this moment where the music sort of just establishes and they pause, they back off it, and then they come back and they do some more forward promo promoting. What I didn't realize until I went to another station is they leave that little window in there. So if a local host wants to jump in and kind of say, and we're here, too. So in other words, it's kind of like the national host are saying, it's Monday, July 28th, you're listening to Morning Edition. And then you can kind of jump in and say, I'm Lisa Peaks, that was a woman I work with. And today on New Hampshire Public Radio, we're going to be hearing from Josh Rogers. And then you just have this small little window and then the national hosts come back in. And if you do it right, it can sound very integrated. And you say stepped on, making Me think you don't like that. But when it's done right, I always kind of liked it.

[Luke Burbank]

I think I may be thinking of a different part of the, of the, the broadcast wheel of the hour, which is the billboard the very first minute of like, let's say it's Morning Edition where, you know, it used to be when I was growing up in public radio that generally speaking, a lot of stations would just play that because that is also the hosts of the show saying, coming up, this is what we're going to talk about. Now, a lot of the local stations, they have their local person talk over that part. So they don't. You don't play the national billboard, you play yours so that it sounds kind of a little more integrated. And then they'll say this is the part I'm such a.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're fully replay. In other words, you're grabbing the Morning Edition music and fully replacing it with a local billboard.

[Luke Burbank]

Talking over month style. But. And you're exactly. And I knew it was only a matter of time. This is a heavily, this is a seriously heavily Todded show. We have Todd Glass starting now. We're getting a Todd Mundt. It is, I swear to God, if Todd Blackledge, one time Kansas City Chiefs quarterback gets referenced on this show, it's a triple toddler. It's a triple Todd Monday. But like, yeah, the fully like they're talking over the music. And this is the part where I'm such a catty little bee from New Jersey who lives for the drama. It mildly annoys me when the local host passes off the national reporting like it's the local stations reporting. So coming up, we're going to talk to this person and that person. We are going to talk to them, the network is going to talk to them. And honestly, it doesn't matter. And the stations are paying the money that allows the network to do it. This should not be a distinction in my mind, but it kind of is.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's interesting. So it's not just so they're taking over the billboard and turning into a local billboard, but they're promoting some of the national stories. And you sort of feel like that's when you go to a restaurant and the server says, well, this is what I have. And it's like, no, you don't have it. The chef has it or the rest.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. Or somebody far away who actually works for sort of a different company. That is the network that is National Public Radio went off and did something. But coming up up we'll talk to so and so about such and such and it's like, well, you won't. Somebody will. But again, nobody cares about that except me. Please. Back to what you were saying.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wouldn't it be awesome though if you went to like a Jack in the box and this and the person at the register just kind of like, I have a straw, a fizzy strawberry lemonade.

[Luke Burbank]

I have an Oreo cookie shake. I have tacos, two for 99 cents that are literally translucent. The Chef Jack just pulled them out of the deep fryer and I'm looking at their if you get them right now, you can see through them. They're a window of grease.

[Andrew Walsh]

Why did I bring up Morning Edition? Let me explain why. There is this radio ad that has been playing and most of it is just this Mountain Dew song and it's a jingle. Now one thing, I'm going to tell you the whole story up front, then I'm going to play it for you. I have been really into this song and I got excited when I first, I mean I can almost, almost remember the first time I heard it. This plays a lot during whatever I'm streaming baseball games on. So I'm guessing it's like the MLB app. If I'm listen whether it's to a Mariners game or an out of market game of just some other team, I'm following those local commercials are blocked out and the MLB app just plays the same radio commercials over and over and over again. And often it's very annoying except when the song slaps. And now I'm worried I'm building this up too much. But I truly love this song. And the reason it reminds me a little bit of the Morning Edition Billboard, which is probably not what they were thinking is it is constructed in this way where it's got a few bars of just sort of repetitive almost bed music. And then the song kicks in and I realize what they're doing. And by the way, I think AI might be involved here is there is a voice. I'm guessing it's a human voice, but I don't know. But it's promoting something that is sort of of the moment and then it hands it off to the rest of the song. So in other words, during the basketball championship, during the NBA championship, this voice would say this is the perfect time to get together with your friends and watch some NBA playoff action. And you can't do that without the cold, refreshing taste of a mountain dew. And then the song kind of then the main part of the song kicks in and then it plays for like 30 seconds. It's just like a song. It's just like a bop. Now, when something weird is going on, though, because you want to talk about things being stepped on. This new voice is sometimes missing the post, Luke. And talking over into the post, and I'm like, what are they doing? And then I heard them correct that, but they corrected it. Either AI did this or a bad producer did this. A producer who should be very ashamed of themselves. I think they. They just sort of chopped up the tape so that he said something. And I don't have this tape, unfortunately, this specific example. But it was clear that he was promoting one thing and then they used tape from him promoting something else. Because it was like, it's the time of summer when you should grab your skateboard and put on a helmet and enjoy the NBA playoffs. And I was like, why are you putting on a helmet to watch the NBA playoffs? It was like somebody was like, cutting this for time and they didn't realize that there was not any good. There was no message there that made any sense. So I am. I am kind of confused and fascinated with all of that. How they're setting up the text for this. Putting all of that aside. That was me just wanting to tell my buddy Luke something. Putting all of that aside. Here song. You will hear the little build up. I think this is a little bit shorter than the usual one. It's just kind of like a couple of repetitive guitar strums or something like that. And then the song kicks in. Give me a mountain with lots to.

[Luke Burbank]

Do Give me the sunshine Give me.

[Andrew Walsh]

A do Give me something simple and.

[Luke Burbank]

True All I need is sunshine and.

[Andrew Walsh]

That cool, refreshing mountain dew yeah so.

[Luke Burbank]

Give me a river Give me a.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do Give me my good friends Give.

[Luke Burbank]

Me a do Keep me up in light with the crew All I need.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is good times and the taste that makes me feel brand new yeah, Give.

[Luke Burbank]

Me the sunshine Give me that too.

[Andrew Walsh]

Slaps. Wow.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely Slaps. And I love that they've dedicated. So help me. I slightly lost the thread.

[Andrew Walsh]

That is not on you. I got way. I have been wanting to have this conversation with you for months. So I just unloaded a lot of details that were unnecessary to build that song.

[Luke Burbank]

So I really like. I really like that song. How much of that song plays in the commercials? Is it. Did you go find an extended mix? Or is that the entire commercial?

[Andrew Walsh]

They have different versions. I. The one I'm looking at here is 42 seconds long, so it's a little bit longer. I'm. I think that I'm usually hearing a 30 second version that begins with probably 10 seconds of that guy kind of talking over the top of it and then 20 seconds of it. So. But here's what I learned. I'm in love with this song. And let me see if I can find this. But it turns out this is not a new jingle. I just discovered this for after these messages. This is a. This was the Mountain Dew jingle back in the 1970s for maybe very early 80s for these TV commercials where you'd see friends, like, literally putting themselves in giant tires and then rolling down like, a hill and then splashing into the lake and just having like the most, like, 70s summer lake fun times. Let me see if I can find some of these. So they took that song from the 70s and sort of like, I think rejiggered it a little bit, you know, I love that.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, that is so much more like if they literally just played that song, it would. That would incline me. I would feel inclined to drink Mountain Dew so much more as a result of that song than somebody saying just like, do the do with your buds and make sure that, you know, like just some kind of like, hyped up void, you know, whatever like that. I love the sound of that song and I love. I love that they're letting it breathe.

[Andrew Walsh]

I do, too. Do you want to hear the 1981 version? This is absolutely commercial here.

[Luke Burbank]

Give me something simple and true All.

[Andrew Walsh]

I need is sunshine and smooth, refreshing mountain yeah. Give me a, give me a do Give me my good friends Give me.

[Luke Burbank]

A do Give me the sunshine Give.

[Andrew Walsh]

Me a do the one thing that is notable that Genevieve and I pointed out is that the earlier versions of the song say give me a mountain with nothing to do. But it's more ambitious now. It's like with something to do and there's one, then there's one that's with lots to do. And it's kind of like, oh, wow. With every passing year we get a little bit more.

[Luke Burbank]

They didn't have the. They didn't have the rise and grind mentality back. They weren't locked in back in the day. Now, can I play you something that just the Internet says? The very first Mountain Dew TV commercial.

[Andrew Walsh]

Ooh. I'm interested in this from 1966.

[Luke Burbank]

It looks like it's animated and all I can see is the thumbnail. It's got what looks like an old timey prospector. An animation of an old timey prospector. And he's got what's obviously jug of moonshine coated. Like it should have three X's on it but instead it says Mountain Dew. Should we take a listen to what this thing sound like? Okay, here we go.

[Andrew Walsh]

Mountain View. Oh, beautiful. Sal was a stone hearted gal refusing to Bill or the goose.

[Luke Burbank]

Wow. It gets real chauvinistic real fast.

[Andrew Walsh]

So I'm watching along here. I couldn't quite hear what the lyrics were. But we're seeing.

[Luke Burbank]

I think the premise is that this, this woman in the commercial, in the cartoon is not responding positively to the overtures of the men. Men.

[Andrew Walsh]

And these are all real hill people. Right. We see her, she's like almost. She's like a sexy lass but she's like sort of a rucks a dress that was fashioned kind of almost like.

[Luke Burbank]

Ginger from Gilligan's island vibes.

[Andrew Walsh]

And then you got all these sort of like kind of quasi toothless guys. Like hillbilly guys with their hooting and hollering. Exactly. And they're. And they're hooting and hollering. But what did they say though? She's not, she's not.

[Luke Burbank]

He says something about her being basically like stone hearted or something. And then she pulls these hats down that these guys are wearing to kind of be like away from me. I have a bad feeling, Andrew, that this is going to be cured for her by way of Mountain Dew.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, this is. But Clim was right smart. He appealed to her heart with that gal getting little Mountain View.

[Luke Burbank]

Yahoo.

[Andrew Walsh]

Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew. Tickle your innards. Cause there's a bang in every bottle at of County Turkey Shoe.

[Luke Burbank]

So that did actually work. A guy strolled over to this woman and he had a Mountain Dew bottle under his hat. And she took a drink of it and then smoke blasted out of both of her ears. And then she gave the guy a hug. Now cut to a turkey shoot. That is happening. This is a 58 second commercial by the way.

[Andrew Walsh]

And nice.

[Luke Burbank]

This is like an eighth of a quibby.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And now a guy, another hill person, he's got his shotgun out. The turkey is sitting on the barrel of the shotgun and this guy is still missing him. Let's see what happens.

[Andrew Walsh]

Luke weren't worth a hoop. He was hopeless still.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, this guy's named Luke.

[Andrew Walsh]

Cool.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel extremely centered in this commercial.

[Andrew Walsh]

At the County Turkey Shoot. Cuz Luke weren't worth a hoop. He was hopeless, silly. Finally.

[Luke Burbank]

By the way, I will say as a person named Luke, it was very hill people coded for a long time.

[Andrew Walsh]

Really. I would never think that.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean I didn't know. I. I didn't know. Hardly any Luke's. When I was growing up, I think it became a lot more popular probably with Star wars and then just with the way that names kind of cycle in and out. But it was definitely like kind of like old Luke. Well, and there's that, you know, there's the.

[Andrew Walsh]

What is it?

[Luke Burbank]

The band? Whatever that song is. Take a load off, Annie. Take a load for free.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah. Like, I feel like.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel like Luke used to be in this era. It was kind of like shorthand for some kind of a hick person.

[Andrew Walsh]

But there was no Luke Duke. Right? I'm not even joking.

[Luke Burbank]

There was a Luke Duke. Bo and Luke.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was Bow and Luke. Okay, I was starting to say that, then I stopped myself like that. It was Bo and Luke Duke. The Duke boys.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, the Duke boys. Here we go. Turkey shoot.

[Andrew Walsh]

Cause Luke weren't worth a hoop he was hopeless till he finally took the cue.

[Luke Burbank]

So now he's drinking some Mountain Dew.

[Andrew Walsh]

And he shoots off the cup. It's more than enough.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, he just committed. Turkey side.

[Andrew Walsh]

All of a sudden I'm watching along with you. And he fired one gun and then like 10 turkeys fell from the sky. It's great.

[Luke Burbank]

How many turkeys had to die for this commercial? Mountain Do. Let's see if there's one more thing. I don't think they have enough time left for one more story of transformation.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, the weird thing is I'm looking at one that's a minute 21. So yours is going to end before mine. So let's get going.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, we'll see.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's good. Old Mountain View sure is shooting. There's a bang in every bottle of our delicious soft drink, Mountain Dew. It'll tickle your ears, man. What I wouldn't do for your innards.

[Luke Burbank]

What I wouldn't do for one of these bottles, Andrew. Oh, I know because at the end of the commercial that I was just playing, it cuts to, it goes out of animation and it goes into actual like photography of this large green bottle that says Mountain Dew on it. And it's got. I think it looks like it has some sort of a picture of a guy shooting a shotgun on the, on the, the outside of the bottle. Oh, my God.

[Andrew Walsh]

Amazing. It'll tickle your innards. The extra time on mine is just like. It's not, it's not relevant to the commercial. It's just extra programming. Yeah, that is, that, that's a journey.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, right. The fact that they were producing 58 second minute long commercials for Mountain Dew that was telling multiple stories and really telling people you probably shouldn't drink at work. But this is the next best thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, this is gonna almost get you drunk. It's got so much pop to it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. It tickles your innards. But we can all agree, though, that the song, the official TBT's song of the summer, is the Mountain Dew commercial that we've been hearing.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think I like the 70s one better, but this is like the clean version. Give me a mountain with lots to.

[Luke Burbank]

Do Give me the sunshine Give me a.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do Give me something simple and true.

[Luke Burbank]

All I need is sunshine and that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Cool, refreshing Mountain Dew Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Give me a ripper, I think.

[Andrew Walsh]

And this is around. I love that they start wrapping it up.

[Luke Burbank]

Run. They go on.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I love it. I'm really glad you like it, too, because I was a little bit nervous. You're like, oh, that song they play all the time. I'm sick of it. But no, I'm. I jam to it every time, and it's just constantly bouncing around my head like an earworm, and I kind of don't hate it.

[Luke Burbank]

I found the Mountain Dew bottle. It's for sale on Etsy. It's $50.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's not too bad.

[Luke Burbank]

And it's a crazy story. It's got. Got. I've zoomed in on this now, and it's got. It says Mountain Dew, of course. And then below that is, I guess, the guy from the commercial. And he's got, like, a shotgun, and he's pointing it, I think, at a guy who's running up a hill towards an outhouse. Is the guy standing his ground on the Mountain Dew bottle? And there's, like, a pig that's peering out, kind of almost like the dog Mutley and Clutch Cargo. Like, there's a pig that's kind of peering out behind some text, kind of a. In a mischievous way. But it's like, what's the story? Is he. Is he shooting after this other guy on the COVID of the Mountain Dew bottle?

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't. And why you should never shoot at somebody who's trying to get to an outhouse.

[Luke Burbank]

No, they're dealing with Enough. I speak from experience.

[Andrew Walsh]

Maybe if they're running to the ouse, you give them grace. If they're in the ouse, you give them space. And then when they're out of the outhouse, you punch them in the face.

[Luke Burbank]

You don't look them in the face because it's. Because it's been. It's an embarrassing time for me.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's a good point. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

If this bottle was like, if this bottle was $20, I'd probably buy it $50. Oh, look at the back. It says Yoo Hoo Mountain Dew. And the guy is shooting. The cork is shooting out of the Mountain Dew bottle which of course looks like a moonshine jug. It's shooting through his hat and it says Mountain Dew. It'll tickle your innards. And your is spelled Y O R.

[Andrew Walsh]

E. I wonder if it's the only example of marketing that used the word innards in American history. Injury.

[Luke Burbank]

Let's think. What would other possible.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean seltzer.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe it helps your innards.

[Andrew Walsh]

Help your innards. I don't think they used it though.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe like one of those like open sided MRI clinics. We can see your innards without you having to be uncomfortable.

[Andrew Walsh]

I got an interesting note the other day. This is really wrong of me to do this.

[Luke Burbank]

Should I activate the email sound effect? If it's a. If it's a note. Yeah. Do you mind?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, do it.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm gonna tell you format purposes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, here we go.

[Andrew Walsh]

Here I go once again with the email. Every week I hope that it's from a female. Oh man.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not from a female TBTL email segment. It'll tickle your innards.

[Andrew Walsh]

Tickle your innards. I am looking for not. The funny thing is this came as a note not to TBTL but to after these messages. And I wanted to talk to Genevieve about this on the show, but I haven't yet. So I'm actually scooping my own show here with this.

[Luke Burbank]

But I chopping it here.

[Andrew Walsh]

I got a note from somebody. This person doesn't sign their email so I don't know their name. But it's somebody who writes in from time to time and has throughout the years. And so I know it's a real person. And the subject line is. This is one of those cases where the subject line is longer than the actual email. But the subject line is the lady from the I can't believe I ate the whole thing commercial lives in my old folks home. That's the subject line. And then the email simply says. Says Diane Deckard is her beautiful purple balls.

[Luke Burbank]

Diane Cisco is on fleek today.

[Andrew Walsh]

Diane Deckard is her name and she loves talking about it. You want me to ask her for an interview and this person didn't even sign it? I don't think I'm gonna follow up on that because that's not exactly the format of our show. At first I was like, wait, it's not a lady in the I Can't Believe I Ate the Whole Thing commercial. It's a guy, but it's the lady. I can't Believe I Ate that whole thing. But it's his. It's his wife who's in bed. And I don't even know if you ever see her, except for the back of her head. She's just like, go to sleep, Ralph, or something like that. Do you remember the whole commercial?

[Luke Burbank]

I'll play it here. See? Let's see if I can get this going here. All right, here we go.

[Andrew Walsh]

And believe I ate that whole thing. You ate it, Ralph.

[Luke Burbank]

I can't believe I ate that whole thing. No, Ralph, I ate it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I can't believe I ate that.

[Luke Burbank]

All things take two Alka Seltzer.

[Andrew Walsh]

Alka Seltzer neutralizes all the acid your stomach has churned out in your inner. For your upset stomach and headache, take Alka Seltzer and feel better fast.

[Luke Burbank]

Did you drink your Alka Seltzer?

[Andrew Walsh]

The whole thing.

[Luke Burbank]

So that lady.

[Andrew Walsh]

I guess so.

[Luke Burbank]

Lives in the. In a retirement home somewhere, and one of our listeners either lives there or works there.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's what they say. I don't think I'm gonna reach out on this again because we're not really into interviewing people that much on the show. It's a rare thing. I don't understand a line. And it just occurred to me, hearing that again for, like, the hundredth time in my Life, or maybe 500th. I have it all written down somewhere.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

She says, no, Ralph, I. What is.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't understand that either.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think that that's always confused me, but I never took the time to contemplate it before.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't think I even knew there was anybody but Ralph in the commercial. Yeah, and this is all kind of news to me.

[Andrew Walsh]

You were watching it. I didn't have it up in front of me here. She. You don't see her, right? You just see her laying on the side facing away.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, you do see her, but she's not fac. He's sitting on the edge of the bed. It's like he's sitting up on the bed in his pajamas, and he's obviously about to go to bed, but he's having some heartburn and some discomfort. She is lying on the bed with her back to him, and that's the amount of her that you see.

[Andrew Walsh]

But.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, what is. I ate it. What does that mean?

[Andrew Walsh]

Is she trying to tell him, Ralph?

[Luke Burbank]

Is she trying to tell him that it's all in his head.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a very confusing line.

[Andrew Walsh]

Maybe it was like.

[Luke Burbank]

And then.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know, it could have been some part of some sort of slang back in the day, the way that, like, on happy days, they're always telling people to sit on it.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, it's funny because, you know, what's back is. Or what is here is saying, I ate. Oh, my God, he ate and left no crumbs. That means, like, you did something good. Like, oh, my gosh, he just. He just totally ate.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is it usually in a sports context or.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't. I haven't used it. I haven't heard it in sports. It's more like in fashion, but it's now expanded. So in other words, it's like, you know, it's sort of like it's giving. That's a thing. Obviously, that one's almost kind of worn out now. But then also serving, like, I'm serving. And then people will oftentimes say, I'm like, I'm serving. And then they'll say an extremely obscene word for a part of a woman's anatomy. And that's kind of a way. But it's actually like, it's a person who is basically saying, is it tatas? It's not tatas, Andy.

[Andrew Walsh]

You want to keep guessing.

[Luke Burbank]

You absolutely. Can you go ahead and I'll see you next Tuesday. But it's used when the people say I'm serving. That word, it's typically used by people, particularly like, women and gay men, to say, like, I'm being myself right now. I'm not, like, moderating my attitude or appearance or whatever for, like, your standards. So it's actually kind of an empowerment thing. But so, yes, serving is one and then eight. Oh, my gosh, he ate. And that just means, again, like, you did this thing really well. And now what's recently been added is and left no crumbs. So the next level of eating, the next level of doing something really well is to have also left no crumbs. So back to the Alka Seltzer commercial. It sounds like he honestly ate and left no crumbs.

[Andrew Walsh]

I guess so that's kind of the problem. Maybe leave some crumbs, Ralph.

[Luke Burbank]

Leave some crumbs, Ralphie boy.

[Andrew Walsh]

So I have a question for you, Luke here. As I'm assuming we're going to get ready to wrap up the show today.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, sir.

[Andrew Walsh]

How would you say. How would you rank or rate my performance today?

[Luke Burbank]

I would say you served. I would say it's giving the next generation of podcasters. And I would say you ate and left no crumbs, which is why you better take some Alka Seltzer. You're going to be hurting all day.

[Andrew Walsh]

I realize that I'm asking that at a time when, of course, that would be the answer, but that actually wasn't what I was leading. I wasn't, like, looking for that. What I was looking for was an assessment. But because I'm doing something that maybe we can try tracking a little bit here, which is I only had one cup of coffee today, so my whole routine usually is I make a pot of coffee in the. I prepare it the night before. We make it in the morning. Genevieve has about half of it.

[Luke Burbank]

I know how yesterday's coffee works.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. And then I take a pot of coffee and I pour what's left of it into a classic thermos. Right? My Stanley thermos, which I guess that's about half a pot of coffee. And I bring that down here in the studio with me, and I drink it throughout the show. But because we had a shakeup where we were on the road for a week, sometimes when you come back home, you can start new routines. And so I thought maybe my new chance to reinvent myself and my new personality, Luke, is. I'm the guy who only has one cup of coffee in the morning. Isn't that an interesting character?

[Luke Burbank]

Kind of.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm trying to pull back a little bit on the caffeine. And I mean, you know, I came home, I was putting some stuff away, and I saw my blood pressure monitor. I'm like, oh, my old friend, I forgot hickory. Well, my doctor did not tell me to cut back on caffeine, but I'm like, maybe if I just cut back a little bit on caffeine, I can get those numbers looking a little bit better. Better than that. Yeah. Cutting back on my hams, however you define it, my multiple hams that I eat a day, or the hams, beer that I drink in the hotel room.

[Luke Burbank]

And in St. Paul, Hams, the meat, refreshing.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. It tickles you.

[Luke Burbank]

Right? I love this, though. Like, we're, you know, again, new. It's not really the new year, but it's sort of, in a way, it's like the TBTL fiscal year has, like, turned over to a degree. Like, we just did the thong on now we're going to do another year of this, and it's like new year, new us. You're a guy who has one cup of coffee, and I'M a guy just loving this iced coffee lifestyle.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that looks good.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you know what else I like about it? It allows me to do one of my favorite things, which is ice chewing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, you like ice chewing?

[Luke Burbank]

I do. I love. I love chewing on the ice of something. You know who really loves that is Becca. She has. I think. I'm not trying to, you know, sort of have a HIPAA violation here, but I think she has something called pike. Do you know about this?

[Andrew Walsh]

No.

[Luke Burbank]

Pica is a. It's an obsessive and compulsive craving for eating ice. Ice cubes or freezer frost. I guess the full name for it is pagophagia, but I think it's kind of referred to as pica, just as, like, a shorthand.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I hesitate to bring this up now in this context because we're talking about your beloved and yourself, but I was actually thinking about this on the plane yesterday because I was super thirsty on the plane. I had a really big meal at an airport bar that was actually really satisfying, but it left me.

[Luke Burbank]

So I bet I know the place that you went to. Was it that kind of restaurant one?

[Andrew Walsh]

It's like a restaurant bar that's right outside of Gate E. And it's kind.

[Luke Burbank]

Of like a. Yeah, it used to be called hers. I loved it when it was hers, but now it's something else. It's still pretty decent. Like, they have good food for being in the airport.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, exactly that. You can tell that they kind of pride themselves on their. As being, like, just.

[Luke Burbank]

I look forward to going to that restaurant when I'm in the Minneapolis airport. John, call me down. John was roasting me all week for calling it the Minneapolis airport because it's technically in Bloomington, but it's called the Minneapolis St. Paul. Well, that's what I said to him. He's in this whole thing with, like, you know, St. Paul versus the world. And somehow he sees the. He sees people calling them the Minneapolis St. Paul Airport, even though it's not in Minneapolis. Somehow that's, you know, violence or whatever.

[Andrew Walsh]

Boy, there is a lot of St. Paul pride. The. The Lyft driver, who, by the way, way, I cannot believe how cheap lifts are in St. Paul. It was incredible. It's like they paid me to take the car, but the Lyft driver just was telling me all the stuff about St. Paul. Like, so much St. Paul pride and Minnesota pride, but also very much like the. The St. Paul. Minneapolis divide is very evident. Very evident in St. Paul, because St. Paulers, I think, have A little bit of a chip on their shoulder. He was very excited. And one part of the drive, he's like, you want to. Here's a little. Another little piece trick trivia. We are on both sides of the river right now because of the way the river sort of bends. At one point, he's like, I love telling people that I live on both sides of the Mississippi. What was I getting at, though? Oh, so I was super thirsty on the airplane. And so when they finally came down with the cart, I got, like, a seltzer water. And. But I asked especially I could have a cup of ice to go along with this. And I was so thirsty that I'm chomping on the ice. Now, I'm somebody who loves ice, but I usually sort of let it melt into my drinks, and then maybe we'll chew on maybe one cube. But I was so thirsty, I'm, like, downing this ice, and I'm chomping and chomping and chomping on it. And I. And I was thinking about what kids used to say. Well, maybe like in college or something. I remember people being like, that means you're sexually frustrated. Did people say that to you all the time?

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know, but my girlfriend hasn't stopped eating ice for five years.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, that's why I'm. That's why I wanted to be very careful about bringing it up in this context. I thought maybe I'd moved away from your own personal experience with this. But I just remember it was, like, one of those things.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, I had never heard that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. I mean, I don't believe it, but I just remember it's just like, even as, like, very young adults in, like, high school or college, people like, oh, you're sexually frustrated. Look at you, chomping on that ice.

[Luke Burbank]

Chewing on that ice. I think the true story is it could be two things. It could be sexual frustration plus anemia, because that's what all the online stuff is saying is that it's actually. It's sort of a low iron response. Now, why that would cause one's body to crave chewing on ice, which is, in my experience, not iron rich. You think you'd be craving chewing on a steak or something that has a lot of iron in it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Oh, wait, your ice doesn't have meat in it? No, I always have meat in it.

[Luke Burbank]

Boy, I'll tell you what, we had such a great time in Wisconsin, but I'm not super sad about being back where it's not an insane thing for me to order Something sans meat.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, yeah, I believe.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, it was like. It was tough sledding for me. Anytime we went out to eat anything to try to find, you know, we went to that like, well, you know, the place. They're really focusing on the food, Andrew. The Last Call bar next to the Adams County Historical Society. We went over there. Oh, my gosh. There were such sweethearts. The folks that worked there, I loved them. But there was literally nothing on the menu that didn't have meat in it. There was not even a hint of a sack salad. And I. I almost had to five easy pieces it there with a euro where I just basically said, you know, can I have a euro? But no meat in the euro. But everything else. And it turned out the everything else was tomatoes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. And then some red onions. They claimed they had no lettuce for you. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

But then there was lettuce on the menu associated with a burger. And it was a little sad that the person who was doing the food preparation wasn't able to make that leap. They weren't able to go, okay, over here's lettuce. Lettuce over here is a gyro with nothing really exciting going on except vegetables. Why don't we throw that? Why don't we throw that lettuce for the burgers. We'll take a little burger lettuce. We'll throw it in the euro. We'll kind of fill it out a little bit, but.

[Andrew Walsh]

And you're over here saying, I'll take a hamburger.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly.

[Andrew Walsh]

Take off the meat, take off the bun. And that's how you.

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't have the heart to do that to the adorable little old ladies that worked there. Place was almost exclusively staffed by. Why women in probably looked like they might be in their 70s or even 80s, but were just absolutely turned out. Just like hair, makeup, spring in their step, a big smile. Just like great gals. So I just didn't feel like pushing. I didn't feel like Nicholson. Ing them.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, of course. Of course. I was looking for that tape. I can't find it. But I also think that, like, that tape makes me uncomfortable a little bit. It comes off as very toxic.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, really, Jack Nicholson in that era talking to a woman?

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's like talking down to a server in this.

[Luke Burbank]

And we, you know, we cite that all the time, I think, because it's one of the only cinematic representations of a thing we're talking about, which is like, okay, you have all the elements of this thing, but for some reason you're unwilling to combine them in the.

[Andrew Walsh]

Way that we're hoping for.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, but, yeah, it's. It's. It's not a nice way to be to the servers.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, that's for sure. Not at all. So I'm glad I couldn't find it, but I could find this. A little bit of music.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah, this old saw. Love. Love it. Love being home. Love talking to you, Andrew. Love all the tens of listeners who were so kind as to make this our job for another year. Thank you once again. Guess what? We are going to be right back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for all of you. So if you can please join us for that. In the meantime, everybody have a great Monday. Take care of yourselves. Go Cal Raleigh. And please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to all. Power out.