#4524 Kirst Almighty

Summary

Podcast Summary: TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live – Episode #4524 "Kirst Almighty"

Release Date: August 4, 2025
Hosts: Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh

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Introduction to the Voicemail Segment

In episode #4524, titled "Kirst Almighty," hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh embark on a nostalgic and engaging journey through a collection of listener voicemails. After acknowledging the backlog of messages, they introduce a playful method to select and discuss these voicemails using a "wheel spin" system, adding an element of randomness and excitement to the episode.

Notable Quote:

Luke Burbank [02:41]: “We have a tremendous number of voicemails that have been collected and are waiting for their special moment to appear here on TBTL.”

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Featured Voicemails

1. Kirsten vs. Kristen: The Name Debate

One of the standout voicemails comes from Kirsten in San Francisco, sparking a humorous yet relatable debate about the pronunciation and spelling variations of the name Kristen/Kirsten. The discussion delves into the challenges of distinguishing between similar names and the importance of correct pronunciation.

Notable Quotes:

Luke Burbank [07:04]: “Can we at long last lay down our weapons and come together to form one name that the rest of us can remember?”

Andrew Walsh [09:10]: “Hi, guys. Kirsten in San Francisco here.”

The hosts explore the phonetic differences and the confusion that often arises, ultimately finding humor in the predicament and acknowledging the listener's effort to reach out.

2. Jay's Splinter Saga: Ignoring Medical Advice

Listener Jay from Portland shares a personal story about dealing with a stubborn splinter stuck under his fingernail. Despite numerous listeners advising him to seek medical attention, Jay chose to handle it on his own, leading to a mix of concern and amusement from the hosts.

Notable Quotes:

Jay [19:27]: “I have been relating so heavily to all the talk about, like, not seeking medical care because you feel wimpy or like you're not hurt enough.”

Andrew Walsh [21:50]: “You need to receive medical care sometime. And don't be that lady because she sucked anyway.”

The conversation highlights the balance between self-care and seeking professional help, with both hosts sharing their own experiences to emphasize the importance of not neglecting health issues.

3. Allie's Sports Talk Triumph

Allie from South Carolina emails in to express gratitude for the hosts' sports discussions, particularly about Bill Belichick. Andrew leverages this feedback to contemplate delving deeper into sports talk, though they humorously decide against it to maintain their unique show dynamic.

Notable Quotes:

Allie [28:06]: “My boss came to town last week, and I don't know anything to talk to him about. But he wanted to talk about that guy Villacheck. And I just had so much information ready to go.”

Luke Burbank [28:33]: “You are so lucky, everyone, that Allie has renewed our fervor for sports talk because, you know, it was starting to flag a little bit.”

This segment underscores the hosts' ability to connect with their audience and adapt their content based on listener feedback.

4. Kara’s Rolo Rhapsody

Kara from West Seattle adds a light-hearted twist by sharing her quirky rendition of a Rolo-themed song. The playful exchange between the hosts showcases their chemistry and ability to turn even the simplest messages into entertaining content.

Notable Quotes:

Kara [32:10]: “Rolo, the chocolate treat with caramel inside Rollo, Rollo Roll your boat gently in my mouth...”

Luke Burbank [32:26]: “Let’s change gears. Rollo Tony Brown town Check yourself at the door Give me some more, give me some more Give me some more.”

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Hosts' Personal Anecdotes and Reflections

Throughout the episode, Luke and Andrew intersperse listener stories with their own anecdotes, creating a dynamic and relatable atmosphere. Luke recounts his struggles with iMovie and the frustrations of AI-driven editing, while Andrew shares a harrowing personal experience involving a car accident and the importance of seeking medical help when needed.

Notable Quotes:

Luke Burbank [14:32]: “It made me feel very happy. My heart was very full. But, like, how does the algorithm understand what the good part of that video is?”

Andrew Walsh [20:01]: “I ended up breaking, I think eight bones tore my rotator cuff. I had a really bad concussion, lots of sprains, road rash, lasting nerve damage.”

These stories not only add depth to the hosts' personas but also provide valuable life lessons for listeners.

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Conclusion and Future Plans

As the episode wraps up, Luke and Andrew express their enthusiasm for continuing the voicemail segment, acknowledging that while they have amassed a substantial number of messages, the process remains an ongoing and engaging part of their show. They invite more listeners to contribute, ensuring that "Too Beautiful To Live" remains a vibrant community-driven program.

Notable Quote:

Luke Burbank [31:40]: “We'll just keep this thing rolling as long as we need to. In the meantime, have a great Monday, everybody.”

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Final Thoughts

Episode #4524 "Kirst Almighty" of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live offers a delightful mix of humor, personal stories, and listener interactions. By weaving together diverse voicemails with their own experiences, Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh create an engaging and heartfelt episode that resonates with both regular listeners and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, speaking of fun, I know this super fun drinking game we can play. Every time one of you says something that the other can't relate to, you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Both drink could be fun. I once played a drinking game with Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively at their macrobiotic farm with a particularly robust batch of homemade kombucha.

[Listener]

Do I have to drink for every word?

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know.

[Listener]

Tbtm.

[Luke Burbank]

He is a fan of the outrageous.

[Listener]

He loves to surprise.

[Luke Burbank]

He loves other things as well. I'm a Grammy, Emmy, Tony, and Webby award winning and nominated songwriter, artist, designer.

[Listener]

Director, editor, animator, producer, collector, party thrower. Do you ever kind of look at each other and go, aren't we a couple of Dapper Dans?

[Julien McKee]

I want to be the bad at.

[Listener]

Public radio like Elvis Mitchell.

[Luke Burbank]

Dude, give me a br.

[Listener]

This is grass clippings. Give us the real deal or we're out of here. What I'm gonna do for you guys, I'm gonna hook you up to the best stuff, okay? Don't you gotta jump into my van?

[Luke Burbank]

Definitely for sharks.

[Listener]

Come on.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Monday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

[Andrew Walsh]

I say, what's up?

[Luke Burbank]

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

[Listener]

I can't believe you're still on the air.

[Luke Burbank]

So happy to be bringing you episode 4524 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. And we are going to do something that we have been needing to do for a long, long time. Get more interesting. No, no, no. We would never do that. But we do have a tremendous number voicemails that have been collected and are waiting for their special moment to appear here on tbtl. And we're gonna do that. We are going to work through a big batch of voicemails and so those of you who have left the messages can have satisfaction of hearing them. And those of you who love listening to us opine on voicemail messages. God, this is gonna be the day for you. So please stick around as I introduce my dear friend and the longest running cobro of the program, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. And I'm gonna get all anecdotal on you. He's Andrew Walsh. He's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Listener]

Good morning, Luke. This is. This feels sort of like my apology to the listeners and also a bit of a make good. I mean, we have.

[Luke Burbank]

This is early in the week for you to already be beating up on my friend Andrew.

[Listener]

No, we're not beating up. We're just acknowledging some shortcomings. I. I just. We've. And I'm not just saying this, like, because the listeners are listening now. I said it behind their back when I was talking to you privately. Like, we have just been getting so many great voicemails. And then you and I start every show and we think, oh, we'll get to the emails and voicemails later. And then we just start jawing. Yes, and jawing. And then we never get to the email. So I have a whole bunch. Now, this is. And you know the plan here, Luke, but this is, this is killing me.

[Luke Burbank]

Can I bring the listeners in on one little thing about the plan?

[Listener]

Yeah. And big things.

[Luke Burbank]

I had one job over the weekend. I had one job which was get one of those, you know, when you're in the casino or maybe you're at some kind of a raffle night at the Eagles or the American Legion, there's that big wheel that you can spin and it goes click, click, click, click, click. And you were carefully. All weekend, Andrew, you were, you were, you were collecting, you were preparing these voicemail messages. And I said, I got the tote wheel.

[Listener]

I got it.

[Luke Burbank]

And then this morning when you, when we dialed up, you said, where's the tote wheel?

[Listener]

And I was like, ah, I know.

[Luke Burbank]

And thankfully you've got one, right?

[Listener]

Yeah, yeah, I went to. So I went back to Valley City.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, you went to the tote wheel district.

[Listener]

I grew up. Yes. Actually, no, I didn't. There is no tote wheel district anymore. It's been kind of tough times.

[Luke Burbank]

But thanks Amazon.

[Listener]

I did go to St. Martin of Tours Church, the church that I grew up in there in Valley City, and where we would have the, the special, what was it? The spring Ham cooks, I believe, and the chicken fish fries. They probably had fish fries. And we definitely had big on fish.

[Luke Burbank]

Fries since our time in the Midwest. It's like my new personality is loving fish fries.

[Listener]

I know, I know. But anyway, and so they had one of these big wheels. So I went and I asked the priests at the.

[Luke Burbank]

So basically, I want to say this, this is a 100% Andrew Walsh production from the absolute top down.

[Listener]

Let's wait until we get done with this particular project. Then I'll decide whether I wanna take full blame or full credit for what we're doing.

[Luke Burbank]

That's true. I'm basically your reward for doing all the work for this is now you're also responsible. It's not a good segment, which I.

[Listener]

Feel bad about, but we Needed that wheel because we're trying to randomize this. And this is what I was gonna say a second ago. Like, this is tough for me. You know me. Like, not only am I kind of a producer at heart, as are you, but I. I like to organize things. I told you. The one time I spent a week at my friend's house, and he had magnetic poetry on his refrigerator, and we spent the whole weekend not making up random poems. We alphabetized it, right? Like, do you know about that? That's a real story.

[Luke Burbank]

I can't believe how fun that sounds.

[Listener]

That's the week I met Genevieve. That was my friend Paulie flew me out to Boston, and we landed in the first night. I think we got, like, a half rack of beer or something like that. We're like, well, let's. Let's start by alphabetizing this magnetic poetry that covered his whole front and.

[Luke Burbank]

Two peas in a pod.

[Listener]

Exactly. So what? I have all these voicemails that I've been grabbing off the voicemail line literally for months now, Luke. Yeah. And I know a bunch of them would probably fit together thematically in some way, but we want to randomize it. I want you to spin that big wheel that Father Dunphy gave me.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you've got to spin it, because it's at your house.

[Listener]

But you didn't get it. Wait, I shipped. I shipped.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, are you kidding? Hold on.

[Listener]

I shipped it to you. Just talk to your mail carrier.

[Luke Burbank]

She's actually here.

[Listener]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, you can bring it in. Yeah, she's laughing. I don't know what she's laughing about. Okay. It's actually. Yeah, if you could just. I have these headphones in, so if you could just get it to where I can reach it. Per. Per. Yeah, just a little bit closer. That's actually perfect. Thank you so much. Thank you very much. Yes. Appreciate you. Okay, I've got it.

[Listener]

Andrew. Scared me. I thought I didn't get there on time for a second. And you paid that.

[Luke Burbank]

You did that. Like, that kind of shipping where, you know, like, you can track it and everything?

[Listener]

Yeah, yeah, but I just. I wasn't certified mail. Yeah. But anyway, so. Okay. I'm glad you got that. Can you got it? Yeah. Okay, so over to it. You're going to spin the wheel, and we put every one of these voicemails on the wheel, and then you're going to spin it wherever it lands. I'm going to play one. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

All right. Here we go. Spinning the wheel. This is a good one, actually.

[Listener]

Yeah, right? It's good.

[Luke Burbank]

Hold on. It's coming around to.

[Listener]

All right.

[Luke Burbank]

There.

[Listener]

Okay. All right. Does that say Kirsten?

[Luke Burbank]

It does, actually.

[Listener]

Does it say Kirsten? Okay, so we're just going to grab this voicemail. Here's what we're going to do because we're doing this randomly. I'm not going to. I literally can't. I'm not even joking. I can't set these up because I don't know what they're about anymore. So you and I are going to listen to them all the way through, and then we can sort of fill in the context of what we were talking about on TBTL at the time. So this is a little bit like something like a treasure hunt of our memories.

[Luke Burbank]

Something that I'm famously good at is remembering things about the show.

[Listener]

Exactly, exactly. So we'll have to try to figure out the context for these voicemails, what we were talking about, but we'll do that at the end. Love it. Oh, luckily, this one looks like a short one too, so it shouldn't get too complicated here.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hi, guys. Kirsten in San Francisco here. Been meeting the call.

[Listener]

I need to stop it already. I might have misheard that the first time. That sounded more like Kristen to me.

[Luke Burbank]

That sounded like a Kristen to me as well. But I would like to say this with peace and love. And I've said this many times on the show before to the Kristens, the Kirstens and the Kirsty's. Can we at long last lay down our weapons and come together to form one name that the rest of us can remember? K. What if there was a Luke? A lurk, A lark, A lunk. A lunk. There is a Lunk. It's called me. Like, you know, again, peace and love. I know we're just as God made us. As the guy at the front desk in Spinal Tap says when he's being insulted by the members of Spinal Tap. One calls him a twisted old fruit. And he says, I'm just as God made me. I know that everyone's just as God made them, but it is endlessly confusing if someone's name is Kristen, Kirsten, or Kirsty. So I don't blame you for that. I blame this fine listener, possibly donor, who took the time to call into the show. Andrew.

[Listener]

That's right. So I think this is a Kristen here.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hi, guys. Kirsten in San Francisco. Here.

[Luke Burbank]

That sounded like Kirsten.

[Listener]

Now we're going back to Kirsten.

[Luke Burbank]

Is there a fourth one? There's a Kristen, there's a Kirsten. There's a Kirsty. Is there a Kirsten?

[Andrew Walsh]

Hi, guys. Kirsten in San Francisco.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, honestly, I think it's. Have you considered Jake.

[Listener]

All right, Just playing. All right. This is Kirsten from State Farm.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hi, guys. Kirsten in San Francisco. Here, the meaning to call. I think about this every time you talk about the word integral. Integral. Oh, boy. I work for a university here called California Institute of Integral Studies, and everyone who works there calls it integral. In case that's helpful. I don't know. I think both is probably right. Okay, thanks for everything you do. Bye.

[Listener]

Well, that one's kind of on you, Luke. How are you feeling about that?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I wonder if it's group think because, you know, they all work at the same place and so it has been established at some point what they're calling it integral. But does that mean the wider world. Here's the way to know, Andrew. The Internet. Okay, I am now@the dictionary.com pronouncer for the word in question and I'm going to play it and then we're going to find out if Kirsten. Kristen. Kirsten knows of what she voicemails.

[Andrew Walsh]

Integral.

[Listener]

All right. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Integral.

[Listener]

Isn't that what Jake said?

[Luke Burbank]

I'm sorry, your new name is Jake. Jake. Yeah, that's right. That's exactly right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Integral.

[Luke Burbank]

Integral. So does that mean we can officially retire integral?

[Listener]

I think so. Although does it have what you're looking at? It. Does it say, as well as listening to it, does it say that there are two pronunciations or anything? Is there anything that.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, let's see. I think this might. Let's try Integral. That's, that's. So the first definition is necessary to make a whole. Complete, essential or fundamental games are an integral part of the school's curriculum. And then in mathematics, it's denoted by an integer, a function of which a given. A function of which a given function is the derivative I, E which yields that function when differentiated. This reminds me, Andrew, of so many hours of not understanding math in high school. Which yields at a function when differentiated and which may express the area under the curve of a graph of the function integral.

[Listener]

That's what I said, isn't it? Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Both of them are pronounced integral.

[Listener]

Let me see. I have another website here that's going to say how to pronounce it. Let's see here.

[Julien McKee]

So to stay tuned for those. How do you say it? Well, there are two clearly different ways of pronouncing it and clearly quite common as well for this name, one is, as Kirsten. Kirsten the other is as Kirsten. And there's no really any way of knowing which way one person wants it to be said.

[Luke Burbank]

That worked out way better than I thought.

[Listener]

Who is that?

[Luke Burbank]

That's Julian McKee.

[Listener]

Obviously. That is a handsome sounding voice.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, why is he hitting on me and why is it working? Can we go to this guy's for a moment? This appears to be a whole. Is this like a whole YouTube page where this guy just pronounces things? Slash turns me on. Julien Michael. He's also by the way, a very handsome fellow. Oh, can we listen to the one about how to pronounce Moet Chandon? That's. No, that's the main one.

[Listener]

Okay, let's take a listen to this.

[Julien McKee]

With another wine video. This is how to pronounce Moet and Chandon.

[Listener]

Hold on. I cut off the beginning because I missed how to say his name. Doesn't that sound. That is going to be a marker of the age we live in.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely.

[Listener]

Of this like sort of this generic music for.

[Luke Burbank]

Comes to your mind when you hear that.

[Listener]

I think of like just. Yeah, like a. You. Well, exactly. This just like a YouTube video that is going to show you how to like like set up your new coffee maker.

[Luke Burbank]

But it's like also involves a push in shot of whatever the item is and then that pushed in shot. So it's like, you know, let's just say it's like this is going to show you. Let's think of a thing that I am often watching videos about. It's like today I'm gonna show you how to build a raised bed. And it's pushing in on the constructed raised garden bed with that music playing under it. But then it also skips. So it's not just like a consistent. It's like it's kind of intentionally a little bit jump cutty because it kind of adds some visual. Like I think there are some. A lot of programs, in fact, I know there are a lot of programs that you can just like you can take your footage and put it in there and then it just kind of like moviefies it.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

In fact the thing on my. My apple now the imovie, particularly the imovie on my phone, it always just wants to make like a magic movie. Remember had that siblings weekend.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Back in July or whatever. And like I was trying to figure out what to do because I had a few like videos and then a bunch of photographs. But actually not. None of it was particularly ideal. And I didn't know how to, you know, Honestly, I didn't know how to integrate it. I didn't know how to make it. That's a true story. I didn't know what to do because, you know when you have, like, still photos, but then a couple of short videos and, like, how do you make that into one sort of slideshow that feels coherent or whatever? And so I just took all the stuff and I dumped it because it was in my phone. I dumped it into imovie and it just said, like, do you want me to make a magic movie?

[Listener]

Oh, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And I let it make a magic movie. And it picked music exactly like the stuff we're talking about.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And it made an absolutely unhinged film. Really, it made me.

[Listener]

I'm kind of surprised to hear that it was. I'm not joking. I thought it was so bad. Pretty good.

[Luke Burbank]

No, it was terrible. First of all, the other thing that, you know, like, you know, nature abhors a vacuum, and the computers abhor a static photographic shot. So it's always. It adds a pan.

[Listener]

Yes, yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Or slow push in. And it's like. It's just. But it's trying to jazz up too many things. So it's like giving you vertigo to watch it. And then it's picking the weirdest part of the video because it doesn't understand, like, it can understand that the video involves movement of human beings, but it doesn't know, like, what is interesting. Let's say that we were sitting in the hot tub and we're singing along to the Dixie Chicks, which is a real thing that happened. It doesn't know the part of singing Wide Open Spaces. That's actually the kind of cute crescendo. So I felt actually heartened by how bad it was.

[Listener]

Can I ask you a question? Was it. And I'm just really glad we're making this about the listeners. Was it.

[Luke Burbank]

Sorry, Steve.

[Listener]

Was it taking. You said it was sort of using this music and creating its own soundtrack. But then when it got to a video part, did it sort of drop the music down and you could hear your original audio? That's pretty cool.

[Luke Burbank]

That was cool that it knew to do that. But again, the sections of the videos that it picked were, like. It just was clear that that's something they haven't been able to figure out with AI because how would you. How would AI look at a video and know what is interesting to human. You know, to our sort of human perception? Like, because all it sees is these people are milling about. Let's say that I. One of the videos I kept shooting was, like, just walking through the house while my siblings were just standing around enjoying conversation with each other. It made me feel very happy. My heart was very full. But, like, how does the algorithm understand what the good part of that video is?

[Listener]

Right, Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Because it's all the same to the algorithm. It's human beings or it's forms that it's been taught or humans standing around conversing. It just doesn't know what to do with that information.

[Listener]

It'd be amazing if you had left your phone accidentally recording and you're sitting. Siblings are sort of talking behind your back, and you don't know it, and then you're all getting together at the end to watch this magic movie. Oh, dude.

[Luke Burbank]

And because I've never. Because I've never. You know what I'd be like? I'd be like, you know, I'd be like one of those McConaughey things where I'm in the hospital getting the wrong surgery because I left too much to the AI.

[Listener]

Do you want to know how to pronounce this guy's name?

[Luke Burbank]

I sure do.

[Listener]

Let's hear. Let's pay this off.

[Julien McKee]

What is up, guys? Joey Mikael here of Social Vignerons back.

[Luke Burbank]

With another video that's actually so much less cool than I expected. That first one was really like. The first one we played. It was. It was just Sex on a Platter. This one's like, what is up my guys?

[Listener]

That's not a show title, is it?

[Luke Burbank]

No, it absolutely is.

[Listener]

I don't think. I don't think we can put a show out called Sex on a Platter.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, well, seems inappropriate decision for you to make. So I guess we're never going to get to the Moet Shandon.

[Listener]

Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. Here we go.

[Julien McKee]

This is how to pronounce Moet and Chandon. And more importantly, why you shouldn't pronounce it any other way. There is an eternal debate on whether you should pronounce Moet in Chando or muet in Chandon.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, so you're supposed to say the T or not?

[Julien McKee]

For all.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what I love about this, Andrew, not only are we making it about the listeners, it's highly relatable. This is when I tell you almost every day, Andrew, people come to me with tears in their eyes, and they say, sir, how do I pronounce Moet? Champagne and furthermore, Chandon. And I'm like, you know what? You keep listening to the show, eventually we're going to solve this for you by way of this French guy, Luke.

[Listener]

Oh, dear sir, I just donated my life savings to TBTL during the recent. Thawne.

[Luke Burbank]

Will you please stand up for us? Will you please stand up for us, the little guys, by teaching us how to pronounce moet and shandon and why it matters.

[Listener]

How would you feel?

[Luke Burbank]

I'd feel good about going to a.

[Listener]

Voicemail spinning that wheel again, because we can't just do this.

[Luke Burbank]

I actually packed it up. I didn't know we were spinning it twice. That's on me.

[Listener]

We gotta spin it. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

While we were talking, I completely boxed it up, so let me unbox bubble. Wrapped it.

[Listener]

Oh, no, you. You unpacked it so quickly last time. That's why I was just taking it for granted. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

I was considering returning it to monos, a luggage company. Okay, here we go. Ready?

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Ready for a spin. Here we kerplunk.

[Listener]

Look at that. That is a voicemail, it looks like, from listener Jay.

[Luke Burbank]

Jay.

[Listener]

I am guessing this is our pal Jay in Seattle.

[Luke Burbank]

We did this. Comes up every time.

[Listener]

Jay, you drove her to drinking, I.

[Luke Burbank]

Believe that's the thing. And, you know, Jay, we need to find a new reference point for your TBTL experience because you're probably sick of hearing that. But on the other hand, you did share it with us at the boat show.

[Listener]

That's right. All right, so. Oh, this looks like a longer one. So this is gonna maybe be a. This might be a story for all time.

[Luke Burbank]

All right.

[Listener]

I don'.

[Luke Burbank]

So let's.

[Listener]

Let's hear this.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hey, dummies. This is listener Jay in Portland. I have been relating so heavily to all the talk about, like, not seeking medical care because you feel wimpy or like you're not hurt enough.

[Listener]

Okay. Should we. Should we actually. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel like this.

[Listener]

And give some explanation. This is from when I had that. That splinter under my nail, right? Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Which I feel like is kind of a. Honestly, a story of triumph for you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

For absolutely ignoring the listeners and conventional medical wisdom and getting the huge W. Exactly.

[Listener]

I just. I don't believe in modern medicine. No, I. You know, I'm sure listeners know. What was this? Maybe a month ago or something, I accidentally got a kind of a disturbing splinter up under my fingernail.

[Luke Burbank]

What was the original. What was the thing that splintered? It was.

[Listener]

It. It was just like the. The. It was part of my closet. It was like part of the door frame of my closet or something. I was, like, kind of in a hurry, and I was grabbing something, kind of a Goodwill bag in there. Something that we, you know, collect our st in the way, and I don't know what I was doing, but anyway, I'm just, like, moving quickly and apparently there must be a rough part of our door frame on the inside of our closet or something. And I just like, somehow, like I told you at the time, it was like one in a million shot. They get this kind of big, flat kind of splinter up under my nail, but it jams so far up that I can't reach it at all. Sorry again. I guess I should have given the trigger warning because that's kind of a tough thing for some people to envision. It was a tough thing for me to live through. And I was very concerned because I. This happened on a Sunday, and I talked to you the next day on a Monday, and it wasn't getting any better. I think maybe at this point I tried to dig it out once and failed. And at this point it was starting to get a little infected and I was worried about it. And I think we gave an update on the show later and said eventually it did sort of work its way out. It did sort of work its way closer and closer to the edge of my nail so I could pick it out over the course of maybe three or four or five days. But at the time I told the story, there was no. I couldn't reach it underneath there. And a bunch of listeners were saying, stop doing whatever you're doing here and just go to, like, an urgent care or something. And some people said, go to the emergency room. I heard from doctors, like actual doctors who, like, have said that. I've seen these things get really bad. I heard from listeners who are like, I've had this before and it got really bad. Don't let me know.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, it really touched off a firestorm of people reporting stories of foreign objects in their bodies.

[Listener]

Yeah, it really. It really did. And a lot of concern, of course, for yours truly.

[Luke Burbank]

But you were absolutely right to ignore all of that advice because it literally worked itself.

[Listener]

It kind of worked itself out. I mean, who knows what have happened if I hadn't gone kind of. I did. I did do try to do some, you know, at home surgery, some meatball surgery on it, maybe like that with time equals humor. I don't know exactly how it works, but I believe that this is what Jay is referring to here. So I'll let Jay pick it up here.

[Andrew Walsh]

And also, thank you so much for the trigger warnings. I am so squeamish, and I really appreciate that. But a few years back, like, three years ago, I was in one of those cars. I've mentioned this before that the. It was having issues shifting into park and I didn't know it. It got recalled a few months later, but I was on a hill in Seattle working a delivery shift and my car didn't go into park. Dragged me for a while and then over. Super scary. I'm okay, don't worry. But long story short, I ended up breaking, I think eight bones tore my rotator cuff. I had a really bad concussion, lots of sprains, road rash, lasting nerve damage. So basically, suffice to say this was a life altering, almost life ending injury. And when the paramedics showed up, I was like, I don't need an ambulance. Because I'd been taught like, you don't take an ambulance unless you need it because they're expensive. Yeah, you don't want to take up resources. So I felt guilty about taking ambulance. I was like, I'll catch a ride with a friend. I'm like covered in blood. My clothes are ripped off. Luckily they didn't let me do that. They took me to the hospital and once I was there, it was packed. It was Seattle and I was sharing a room with three other people. So I'm in a neck brace. I don't know if I've lost ability to move some limbs. I'm kind of freaked out, but I'm on a lot of pain meds, so that was nice. Not recreationally, just for pain. And another guy gets wheeled in really quickly. Oh, it's four people. And he had been shot by someone trying to invade their house, like a friend of his. So he's in critical condition.

[Luke Burbank]

This almost sounds as bad as your fingernail.

[Listener]

I mean, pain is relative, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I mean, just. I'm just saying, like, your story is obviously the most harrowing, but this is getting close to being second on the list of harrowing stories.

[Listener]

That's what I'm saying.

[Andrew Walsh]

Someone else near me was an older person who had fallen off a roof and was struggling. But there was a lady directly next to me who had cut her thumb. It was like not as bad as the other listeners call. That was terrifying. It was like a small cut.

[Listener]

Oh, do you remember? We did play a. We played a voicemail from a listener who had just gone to the end of their emergency room.

[Andrew Walsh]

That was terrifying. It was like a small cut on her thumb and she spent the whole time I was in the hospital screaming at the top of her lungs. Like, demanding cares with older white women just being like the Worst person in the world. So, yeah, I don't know. I guess to all those people who feel guilty about receiving medical care, we're not wimps. You need to receive medical care sometime. And don't be that lady because she sucked anyway. That's a long story. Power out.

[Luke Burbank]

Let me try to unpack this a little bit.

[Listener]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

First of all, Jay, I cannot relate to you more than that sense, because if you grow up like I did, without any kind of, like, health insurance and being kind of worried about money, it was like, you know, the ambulance coming is. Well, you know, you might as well call the sheriff of Nottingham to come. Just take away anything you have and just turn your family out into the streets. It's like I was raised to think an ambulance ride is $1 million, and who knows, it might be these days? So I totally relate to that. Not wanting to go to the hospital or rather not wanting to have, you know, an ambulance ride there. That really sucks. I would just say try to fight that. Everybody fight that instinct. If you're. If you're hurt and you need help, you know, avail yourself of the help that you need and. And worry about the. The other stuff later. The other thing is.

[Listener]

So I should have taken an ambulance after I.

[Luke Burbank]

You should have been life flighted.

[Listener]

Okay. Thank you.

[Luke Burbank]

We know you're a helicopter fan.

[Listener]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

We know that you never duck when you're walking under the rotors because you're a tough guy, too.

[Listener]

Cool.

[Luke Burbank]

But the other thing, though, is it sounds like Jay's message is for those. For folks that are inclined to try to tough it out and not seek medical care. Seek medical care, but once you're there, read the room. So, like, if you cut your thumb, sure, go ahead, go to the, you know, emergency room, go to urgent care, whatever you need to do. But then when you're there with, like, a person who looks like they're in a 1980s movie where they got in a ski crash, aka Jay, that full body cast thing that they always. It was in every movie when we.

[Listener]

Were growing up, one leg is up.

[Luke Burbank]

One leg up always. And then usually the person in the cast in some sort of distress, like learning that somebody is trying to cut them out of the will while they are in the cast. But somehow you can't talk when you're in the cast because they've plastered over the mouth part and you have an itch on your. And you probably. Maybe your one toe is exposed and, you know, fly lands on your one toe and you're trying to itch it and all we can see are your eyeballs darting towards it. If you have cut your thumb, your.

[Listener]

Name might be Clouseau.

[Luke Burbank]

If you have cut your thumb and you're in a room with that person, allow them to receive most of the medical care.

[Listener]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

That's Jay's message, Right?

[Listener]

That. That is the message. And that I was right to decline medical care.

[Luke Burbank]

I think that, too. It's a lot of messages, and they all kind of work together in harmony.

[Listener]

Do we have time for one quickie?

[Luke Burbank]

No, Really? I think. All right. It's got to be very quick.

[Listener]

It's going to be a really, really quick one here, I think so. Can you adjust the wheel so that it's only got the short one?

[Luke Burbank]

I'm going to do a quick spin.

[Listener]

Okay, here we go. Ready?

[Luke Burbank]

That's it.

[Listener]

I stopped. Okay, let's see. It worked. We got a short one.

[Luke Burbank]

I got to learn how to do that in Vegas.

[Listener]

It's only 34 seconds.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, perfect.

[Listener]

God, we're good.

[Luke Burbank]

All right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hey, guys, it's Allie in South Carolina. Oh, Allie, I just want to thank you so much.

[Luke Burbank]

I like where this is for all.

[Andrew Walsh]

The sports talk recently, especially, I don't know how you say his name. Bill Belichick. Belichick. Billicheck. My boss came to town last week, and I don't know anything to talk to him about. We have nothing in common. But he wanted to talk about that guy Villacheck. And I just had so much information ready to go. Thanks to y'. All. Thank you so much for helping me win with my boss. I love y'. All. Bye.

[Listener]

That is a victory for everybody involved.

[Luke Burbank]

Except the listeners who don't like sports, because, Ali, that was just what I needed.

[Listener]

We're doing a service.

[Luke Burbank]

You are so lucky, everyone, that Ally has renewed our fervor for sports talk because, you know, it was starting to flag a little bit. But now that I know that Ali likes it, even though. Here's the thing, Andrew. Ali doesn't sound like a person who follows sports much and yet does not find that to be a barrier to enjoyment. And I think a lot of other people might take a page out of that book and just enjoy our deep, often fully unhinged conversations about the Seattle Mariners. And when football season arrives here just in a month or so, the Seattle Seahawks.

[Listener]

I mean, it feels now like it is our responsibility to maybe go on for another half hour here or so and really break down this upcoming White Sox series that begins tomorrow. Like, what do you think that the Mariners, White Sox series, like, who's on the mound, what the matchups are going to look like, the lineups. Is now the right time to do that? Because it really sounds like that's what.

[Luke Burbank]

Honestly, for Ally, I would do it. But I still think we need to kind of be strategic with how we deploy this information. Because the other thing, Andrew, and I'm hearing this from a lot of listeners, there are people saying we should probably be professional sports talk hosts.

[Listener]

I hear that all the time. People stop me in the street.

[Luke Burbank]

You want baseball, The Burbank has you covered. And if we just, just. If we just start talking sports or talking this upcoming White Sox series, like, right here, right now, we may get hired by WFAN in New York. We may be replacing Craig Cardin before you know it.

[Listener]

And are you concerned that that that leaves a lot of tens in the lurch because we're there?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, then we can't do TBTL if we're being hired by wfan.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Or one of the other top sports talk stations.

[Listener]

That is smart. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And we need to be here for the 10, so.

[Listener]

All right.

[Luke Burbank]

Out of. Out of deference to them, we're not going to talk about the upcoming White Sox series.

[Listener]

Okay, Sounds good, but thank you.

[Luke Burbank]

Whoa.

[Listener]

I had that turned up real loud. Did you notice that?

[Luke Burbank]

This is fun. Can we do this again tomorrow?

[Listener]

I think we need to.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. How many voicemails are we trying to clear out?

[Listener]

I mean, as far as we're concerned, infinite. And I'm not even joking about this. It's not an infinite number.

[Luke Burbank]

It's an absolutely renewing resource.

[Listener]

But I guarantee you that we will never get to all of them. We have so many great voicemails, and I have pulled a whole bunch of off of the voicemail line, and they're in this big bucket. I'm playing. Okay. That's right. We have a wheel.

[Luke Burbank]

And you know what? I'm just leaving the wheel unpacked. I'm not gonna. I usually pack it overnight, put, like a protective hood, like a big thing of crown royal. It's velvet. I'm not gonna do that tonight.

[Listener]

No, just leave it. Leave it there. Because the thing is, we get more voicemails every day, too. You know what I mean? So that's. That's where it's sort of.

[Luke Burbank]

Just leave it out full time.

[Listener]

Yeah, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

So, all right, thank you, everyone, for listening. Hey, if you got a voicemail you want to leave us, 206-414-TBTL. We'll just keep this thing rolling as long as we need to. In the meantime, have a great Monday, everybody. Thanks for listening, and please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Listener]

And good luck to all.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is listener Kara with listener Colin lurking in the background from West Seattle. And I need you to solve a debate. We received a big jar of rolos from our neighbor and I keep singing. Rolo Tony Brown town Rollo, Tony Brown town and he said I'm making it up But I am sure that has dropped so I need you to confirm or deny this. She needs to quit misremembering now. I think it's part of the drop, But I know it exists Anyways, power out.

[Listener]

Rolo, the chocolate treat with Carol inside Rollo, Rollo Roll your boat gently in my mouth Pop top, check it out Lick the foil with your tongue Give it to your friends as a gift As a gift.

[Luke Burbank]

Let's change gears. Rollo Tony Brown town Check yourself at the door Give me some more, give me some more Give me some more.

[Listener]

Of your rolos that's pretty good.

[Andrew Walsh]

Power out.