
Luke and Andrew recount their time in the world’s busiest Subway sandwich shop. They also hear from a former McDonald’s employee with a story about the strangest fast food order she ever received.
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Luke Burbank
So you're saying earlier that some people.
Andrew Walsh
They don't like the sound of this music. Really? Oh, people get fully mad. Oh. The thing no one appreciates is these.
Luke Burbank
Are the original recordings. Oh. Mm.
Andrew Walsh
You can't get that warm sound anymore. You know, the bass, the treble, the mids. Oh, that right here. Oh, here.
Luke Burbank
Oh, that. Okay. Yeah, that's the.
Andrew Walsh
That's mids, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Luke Burbank
Wow.
Andrew Walsh
That's really got that thing on it. Well, it's not on it. It's in it.
Luke Burbank
Oh.
Andrew Walsh
Yeah, I like it a lot.
Luke Burbank
Yeah.
Andrew Walsh
Some people, they're just so ignorant to music. It's kind of sad. I would say totally tbt. Well, there probably won't be anyone here. And if there is, they'll probably think I'm some kind of jerk for wanting just two potatoes.
Luke Burbank
It's your lucky day. You just found a USB flash drive.
Andrew Walsh
In the parking lot. Let the fun begin, brother.
Luke Burbank
Who are you? What are you doing? I'm with the news, dude. See, this is exactly the problem with lamestream media. Leave half what you see and just a little bit of what you hear. And monkey see, monkey doo, monkey pee all over you, booty. Scoop, scoop, poop, poop.
Andrew Walsh
I could really use a win here. Well, all right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Tuesday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Feast your ear tongues on these memory pops. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. Get out of here, you flies. We got three flies, five flies coming to you once again from the Madrona Hill studio perched high above the mighty Columbia, where it is already a beautiful morning. Oh, Ma Pa. It's just beautiful. I think this might be maybe my favorite part of summer because it's August, right? So it's nice out, but there's still a significant amount of summer left. I like that sometimes early June, it doesn't feel that summery. Maybe the weather isn't really cooperating. We are now in that period of time where it is reliably summery, but we still have a lot of summer left, and we have a lot of TBTL left here on this Tuesday, episode 4530 in a collector's series, Let the fun begin. Well, we really have a lot of left our voicemail messages that you, the tens of listeners, have left us on the voicemail line at 206-414-TBTL.
Luke Burbank
You're about to see some serious voices.
Andrew Walsh
We're going to continue the project of clearing those out today, and we're Going to do that with the help of this handsome young stranger, a soulful rocker from New Hampshire. Hey there, fireball. He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.
Luke Burbank
Good morning, Luke. Not going to lie to you. I'm NGL hammering a Fresca right now, which means I got myself some of them Fresca burps, which I have argued at parties and maybe here on the airwaves, one of the best burps you can achieve is Fresca burp. It's very satisfying, but I shouldn't be broadcasting with Fresca burps. But we're gonna push through.
Andrew Walsh
Remember back when we were in Wisconsin and we had that little get together and I. I think, yeah, I bought it. I was me, I did it. I think I grabbed like a twelver of Fresca.
Luke Burbank
No, I didn't really. We had Fresca.
Andrew Walsh
Yeah. Did you not notice that we had Fresca at the picnic? At the get together?
Luke Burbank
Oh, at the picnic. I'm sorry. I was picturing at the Airbnb. I think listening closely enough there, I thought you were telling me that we had Fresca in our Airbnb and I didn't notice the whole time.
Andrew Walsh
Oh, we did see it at the picnic.
Luke Burbank
Yeah. Good for you.
Andrew Walsh
And it. People were just speaking of hammering it. People were going for the Fresca. It was all gone by the end. People were. And people were excited not only because of the delicious, refreshing taste of the official beverage of tbtl, which is, of course, Fresca, but also just the irony. Not the irony, this. They felt like they were in on the bit. How about a Fresca? You know, like they were like, oh, yeah, this is both something that I enjoy drinking and I enjoy being part of TBTL lore because I drink a lot of Fresca on this show.
Luke Burbank
Yeah. Are embracing of Fresca, certainly. And I do wonder how much. How much. Okay, a couple of things here. Yeah, a couple of examples of. Of what I'm trying to describe. I feel like I got into Fresca independently. Like even before you started talking about it a lot on the show, I was getting into a pretty heavy Fresca dominated lifestyle. Like, I've always liked Fresca. My journey with it, as you know, is that I never even knew it was a diet soda. I just thought, oh, yeah, I like those. I like those citrusy sodas. Like there's Fresca and then there's another one that is not diety and very sugary. And I would get them confused. That's what a moron I am. What is the other one I'm thinking of?
Andrew Walsh
Are you thinking of Sunkissed? Are you thinking of Orange Crush?
Luke Burbank
It's another grapefruit soda, but it's not a diet Squirt. Squirt. Thank you. That's exactly what I think of. I was like, you know, I like Fresca. I like Squirt. I just thought they were kind of the same thing. And so I started buying Fresca at the store, bringing it home. And then somebody told me, oh, yeah, it's diet. It's like, got no calories. It's like the same as drinking, like, a Diet Coke or a Coke Zero. I had no idea. I just liked it on its merits. But it felt like this became a big conversation. The friend group, my friend Katie was talking about Fresca a lot. You started talking about Fresca a lot. And then I started to wonder, wait a second. Was I subconsciously pushed towards this? Because there has been. They did have a recent rebranding, and maybe I heard Katie talking about it, which got me to rediscover. I don't know, like, are we. Are we really reaching this independently or our market forces pushing us there? And I'm wondering the same thing about these Grillo's pickles that are suddenly all over the place. I'm enjoying Grillo's pickles. I thought I got there independently as well. I mentioned to you, and you're like, oh, yeah, my siblings on siblings weekend could not stop talking about Grillo's pickles. I'm like, oh, I guess I have no independent thoughts anymore.
Andrew Walsh
Well, I think this is another example of how you don't want to admit that I turned you on to Fresca. You have to have some involved backs where you saw Fresca play to seven people at a club years before. I ever mentioned Fresca to you will not give me the W of saying that I repopularized it in this relationship.
Luke Burbank
I do think, if anything, it was my friend Katie who probably got me thinking about it more in the forefront of my mind. I will give her.
Andrew Walsh
Well, all right. I love Katie, so I'm happy for Katie to get the W. Katie could really use a win here.
Luke Burbank
Yes, she could.
Andrew Walsh
So I'm happy for her to get.
Luke Burbank
The W on says in her movies.
Andrew Walsh
Yes, for this. For this Fresca thing. Really. Here is the problem. We have popularized Fresca so much now on this show and with the listeners that guess who didn't get to have a Fresca at the event.
Luke Burbank
You.
Andrew Walsh
This guy. Because it was all gone. Kind of the only thing that I wanted, I did have a delicious Wisconsin based root beer that I think Michael provided.
Luke Burbank
Oh yeah.
Andrew Walsh
So that was yummy.
Luke Burbank
12 pack of those fancy root beers and bottles.
Andrew Walsh
Yeah. But then after that I wanted one more thing to slake my thirst and I was going to go in for a Fresca and they were all gone. The cobbler's children go without shoes.
Luke Burbank
Andrew, you know what I started drinking at the picnic was beer.
Andrew Walsh
Oh, hold the root.
Luke Burbank
We started. We, you know, when you, me and John were planning that thing, we said, yeah, we're not gonna bring alcohol. Like, I don't know, just like providing too much alcohol to people who are driving there. It was just like, whatever. It's a. It was a pretty early evening summer picnic. We weren't really gonna mess around with booze.
Andrew Walsh
It's pretty funny though if you think about how far the show has come in terms of that kind of stuff because you know, all of our other parties are like literally at wineries or you know, the whole thrust of it would be copious amounts of alcohol consum. But yeah, I think our thought was everyone's driving from pretty far away to this and we were not interested in being the purveyors of alcohol that could have then gotten some folks in trouble on the way home.
Luke Burbank
Yeah, but some people brought beer and there's. I'm already forgetting the name of it and they're going to be so mad at me. But there's that one beer that's only available in Wisconsin that John.
Andrew Walsh
Yeah, New Glarus.
Luke Burbank
New Glarus. Gotta have that root beer. Do you think? New Glarus. See that's the thing. People kept saying it to me. I can't.
Andrew Walsh
They were saying it differently. I'm saying.
Luke Burbank
I'm not sure how it's spelled though. It sounds like don't drink New Glarus if you're allergic. New Glaris.
Andrew Walsh
It sounds like it's G L A R Us. But I do feel like they say somebody was saying it differently than the way it looks. It looks to me like it's new. That word I'm familiar with and then Glaris. That word I'm less familiar with. And then brewing company. Those words I do know.
Luke Burbank
I see two words. I think in my head I was seeing them as one word. And it's funny because I drank a lot of these, but I never stopped to look at the bottles all of that is to say I was like, yeah, we're just going to go to this, you know, picnic. We're going to drink some sodas, we're going to like, chop it up with the listeners. And then people started bringing beer. And I was like, oh, or I could drink beer. And so I did. I didn't have a lot, honestly, I think I had two beers. But I was just. I kind of went from being like, oh, yeah, this is going to be a beer free event to somebody said, do you want a beer? I'm like, of course I do. Of course I do.
Andrew Walsh
But now they were going to be liable if you had a situation on the way home.
Luke Burbank
Well, that's what you and I were.
Andrew Walsh
The ones who gave you the beer.
Luke Burbank
You and I got in that road rage incident against each other. And we were in the same car. It was. It got real ugly.
Andrew Walsh
We did have a moment where we were driving and we were, I think, two cars back from a car that was going quite slowly, quite slowly. In between where we had the event and this after party, we went to it, it's five o' clock somewhere. And the car in front of us zipped around. Eventually, this car that was going very slowly and zoomed off. And I believe that that car that went around was ultimately being driven by some of the people who attended the. The picnic. And now it's just us behind this car. And I think I even said, this car is giving profound Hans Molman vibes.
Luke Burbank
I didn't hear you say that. But accurate.
Andrew Walsh
Like it was just going very safely, very slowly. It's now dark out. And we were kind of trying to figure out, boy, this car is going quite slowly. And then we found out that it was our friend Harriet from the newspaper.
Luke Burbank
That's right. 1R, 1T.
Andrew Walsh
She said, yeah, I drive pretty slowly when it's dark out. By the way, Harriet is, you know, is a person who's, you know, definitely seen some things, been around for a while. So I totally understand it because even at 49, I don't like driving in the dark sometimes. But it was pretty funny that she was the. She goes, yeah, there was kind of a long line behind me. It was like, yep, yeah, we were part of it.
Luke Burbank
And didn't she even point out that it was some other tens that zipped around her, I believe.
Andrew Walsh
Yeah, I think she had some theories, but she also was. And I appreciate this about Harriet. She was unapologetic. It wasn't like she was like, oh my gosh, like, I'm so sorry. I was delaying everyone. She was like, no, this is what it is to be behind me when I'm driving my car at night.
Luke Burbank
Yeah. Yeah. I'm getting a little bit more like that in life as well, saying, this is me. Accept it.
Andrew Walsh
Yeah.
Luke Burbank
Accept it or not.
Andrew Walsh
Now, this is us, Andrew. A show that has too many voicemail messages still.
Luke Burbank
Yes. But we are getting through them quite a bit. The weird thing is with it, people are leaving more on the voicemail line, though, as so it's sort of like one of those. You know, it was a treadmill, as we discussed last week.
Andrew Walsh
It's a naturally renewing resource, which we kind of love. And we got to do this show for the foreseeable future. So this is a good thing.
Luke Burbank
But I don't know where to begin with these voicemails. So maybe you should spin that wheel.
Andrew Walsh
We've got this handy dandy wheel.
Luke Burbank
All right. Do you want to spin it? Yeah.
Andrew Walsh
All right. Hold on. Yeah, but, you know, you're wearing gloves today.
Luke Burbank
That's interesting. Is that to protect the wheel?
Andrew Walsh
Well, I got one to 200 paper cuts yesterday trying to operate the wheel.
Luke Burbank
That makes sense. That's the thing. Most people get about one paper cut every two years, except for one really bad day when they get 390.
Andrew Walsh
So I'm on track for 400 lifetime, which, actually, I feel bad for doubting our friend. Breakfast with Bob.
Luke Burbank
Yes, exactly.
Andrew Walsh
So, yeah, I've got the gloves and I'm behind the wheel. So I'm gonna need you again to be eyes on this and tell me where we're actually gonna land.
Luke Burbank
Here we go.
Andrew Walsh
Take a spin on the wild side. That's my Louis impression.
Luke Burbank
That last. That last click just pushed us over to Danielle in ctac.
Andrew Walsh
Okay.
Luke Burbank
And based on the date of this, this is actually based on the things we've been playing, a more of a slightly more modern one. This just goes back to our Big Mac eaten days.
Andrew Walsh
Oh, man. I was telling somebody about that the other day. I was telling my livewire colleagues about it, and they were all kind of horrified that I was able to pull it off.
Luke Burbank
This, of course, is the Big Mac challenge for all those new listeners that we have where Luke and I each tried to eat a. Have you heard a Mac in one minute?
Andrew Walsh
Wisconsin 106. And now you're tuning in. Yeah, we did it in a minute.
Luke Burbank
Go back. Don't worry. We keep an extensive archive. You can go back and look for the episode from a few weeks back where we each ate a Big Mac and attempted to do it under a minute. I didn't quite get there.
Andrew Walsh
If you've been pondering the question of whether or not we can eat a Big Mac in under 60 seconds, the answer is watch the video.
Luke Burbank
The answer is, give us that engagement on social media so that we can somehow, someday monetize it. So I'm pretty sure that's where this voicemail from Danielle comes in. Hi, friendos.
Andrew Walsh
This is Danielle from SeaTac.
Luke Burbank
And all of the Big Mac talk that's been going on on the pod has got me thinking about. When I worked at McDonald's in high school, there was a woman who had the craziest order. This is all she would order. She would come in and she would.
Andrew Walsh
Order a small cup of Mac sauce.
Luke Burbank
And a side of pickles. And that was it. It was the weirdest order. And she would come in nearly every day and order it. It was insane. But I just thought I had to share that that was the weirdest order that I always got when I worked at McDonald's. Anyway, have a good day. Bye. Okay, first of all, I was a little distracted because I've heard that voicemail a couple of times. As I pulled it off the voicemail line, I just realized that we know that Danielle. I can picture. I recognize Danielle's voice. Danielle is our super, super crafty 10 who gingerbread house that you live in. Do you remember?
Andrew Walsh
And has like a. Yeah. And she's got like a. Like, social media channels right. Where she's. Where she's out there crafting and making things. She's been on, like, TikTok or something.
Luke Burbank
Yes. She's like an influencer. And I'm. And it's driving me bananas because I'm googling here on the fly.
Andrew Walsh
I think it's like Pareda.
Luke Burbank
I thought it was Parajeda or Parajeda, but I'm spelling it Pasta Parajeda. You can look. Everybody should look it up. Danielle is an absolute delight. What do you think of that order, though?
Andrew Walsh
Well, it sounds like something I would absolutely order when I went into McDonald's, you know, like, because I would be like, oh, well, pickles are low carb and that sauce. You know what I mean? Like, I could see myself getting into a mode where I'm like, oh, I can eat at McDonald's again. I just have to order a side of pickles and Mac sauce. Now, what I said to you when we were first. You had mentioned something about this V mail to me some time ago. And I. I said, what I'm shocked by is that I Had never heard the term Mac sauce.
Luke Burbank
Yes.
Andrew Walsh
In my life until. Until about a few weeks ago. Maybe it was when the Big Mac challenge started making it around. I started hearing people calling it Mac sauce a lot. And I've never heard it called Maxaus before. But was I the only one?
Luke Burbank
That's interesting. Yes. So Danielle says Max sauce, but also tells the story as if this was a while back and she was an employee. So clearly it was called Maxaus. But famously, when she said it here, it didn't occur to me, like, oh yeah, Maxaus. I didn't ponder it. It wasn't a question to ponder for me. But in the song, the branding of it has always been special sauce. Right. Like they list the ingredients famously in the song and they say special sauce. And so we always grew up calling it special sauce. I wonder if at a certain point, McDonald's, and it might have been a while ago, I don't know when Danielle was working there, but let's say it was 10 or 20 years ago, maybe sometime in the, in the 2000s or something, they made an effort. What was this?
Andrew Walsh
I think they must have played.
Luke Burbank
Was that a mistake or was that a draw?
Andrew Walsh
No. Well, it was a mistake. I was queuing something up. I was going to play you the 1975.
Luke Burbank
Okay. Pickles, cheese, lettuce and onion, sesame.
Andrew Walsh
This is people, I think, trying to remember what is on a Big Mac.
Luke Burbank
Yes.
Andrew Walsh
Okay.
Luke Burbank
Yeah. Feedback.
Andrew Walsh
I think they're describing a big to all these and special sauce. Lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed.
Luke Burbank
Say that again.
Andrew Walsh
So I think you're right, though. I think that they must have decided that special sauce wasn't a good name for it anymore. Mac sauce would. I don't know, I mean, it raises the question, like, I guess it's part of the overall branding. How important is it? Like, they must have had a lot of high level meetings where they said, we're starting to call it Mac sauce now. We think that's going to move more. What sauce? More Big Mac.
Luke Burbank
Do they need to move more sauce? So this is spurring a memory I had from our road trip back from Wisconsin. We were driving. What is it? It was like a three and a half trip, you know, driving. John drove the whole way from Friendship back up to the Twin Cities. And on that road trip, we stopped at the world's busiest subway.
Andrew Walsh
We didn't even talk about that. The insanity of that line when we got in there. And like, of course, you know me, I'm very impatient. And we were going to grab a little food. And we went in it. My first thought was, well, screw this. Let's go to that taco John's. I don't care how spicy.
Luke Burbank
Fine with that. Oh, nobody. None of us in the crew suggested changing. And I. None of us were happy to do that.
Andrew Walsh
I thought I would have been being extra if I. Because, you know, when you got three people, it can be a little bit of a. You know, if we all decide on something and then you're just going to go for it. It kind of feels like I didn't know if I wanted to reopen the negotiation or, like, make. If John was really looking forward to Subway or. You were.
Luke Burbank
Yeah, I guess it was John's idea. I. It's funny. Maybe we should have had the conversation, because that was a really long wait. And I didn't care. I wasn't even sure I was gonna get anything. Cause I had been chomping on pretzel rods the whole time. So that's one of those things where maybe we should have just talked about it because John is really. Go along. Get along like, what? How long do you think. This was not some sort of special subway, by the way. This wasn't like, in, like, some sort of, like, fancy grove in Los Angeles. And so all the stars came out. Like, this is like a random subway along the highway that is attached to, I want to say, a quick time or whatever those. Whatever those W marts are the convenience stores. What am I thinking of? Quick Mart.
Andrew Walsh
Quick trip.
Luke Burbank
Quick trip, Yeah.
Andrew Walsh
I would love it if it was called QuickTime. And then every time you tried to go into it, it actually couldn't load.
Luke Burbank
It says, this is not a. This is not a supported file or something. You're trying to play a dice. It would just give you a little.
Andrew Walsh
Traffic cone and say, sorry, this is. It can't. It can't. It does not open this file.
Luke Burbank
You're trying to play a dot RN file that only real networks can play for some reason. Wow. Anyway, it was just like. There was nothing remarkable about this place there. And then the line. Would you say we waited 20 minutes or more?
Andrew Walsh
Probably. It was almost out the door. And the issue was. Well, first of all, a lot of people wanted to go to this random Wisconsin subway. The other issue, as I saw it, was they had one of their sandwich artists just assigned to the. Till now, maybe they've decided that this is the fastest way to do it. This is the most efficient way. But I was observing a lot of time where that. That particular employee wasn't doing anything. They were just waiting. So there was the Chris Sullivan choke point was where the sandwiches were being made.
Luke Burbank
But they did it. But it was one of the most highly staffed subways I've been in in a long time. They had three employees. So two of them were making sandwiches and one was working at the cash register, like you said. And you know, I wasn't. I wasn't like paying tons of attention or scrutinizing them. But they did not seem like. It didn't seem like the line was long because, like, they were like working lollygag. Lollygagging or working too slow or slow.
Andrew Walsh
They weren't doing what Sklarov said he did when he worked there in, like high school, which is that they would play baseball with the tomatoes behind the subway.
Luke Burbank
That sounds fun. But anyway, here's what I'm getting at. When you get. So I believe maybe you ordered first, then me, then John. I did not sure, but.
Andrew Walsh
So I need to set an example for all of you how to do it.
Luke Burbank
So I'm placing my order, but I look over and you're having a conversation with the sandwich artist. Something about were you asking for some or you asking them to hollow out the bread for you? But they weren't familiar with it. I only saw it for a second and it only sort of like registered in a little part of my brain. But I wanted to follow up with you on that.
Andrew Walsh
Man, you are very observant. Sometimes.
Luke Burbank
I'm usually not, but yes.
Andrew Walsh
Well, this was your shining moment because this is exactly what happened. I do. If I go to Subway, I kind of ask them to rip out the kind of. Some of the bread, the innards. Hey, there's that word again. Innards of the bread.
Luke Burbank
They tickle your innards.
Andrew Walsh
And I feel like. I feel like I'm being kind of extra when I do that. It's a little bit of a carb conscious choice for me. It's also that I just don't like a ton of bread. I like. And I also don't get meat on the sandwich. So I kind of feel like I need the ratio of the veggies and the other stuff in there to be not overwhelmed by the bread. And so I typically. If I go to Subway, which isn't very frequent, I'll request that. Now we're in Wisconsin, I don't want to paint with a broad brush, but let's just say on my morning eagle soaring, I didn't see anybody else out there. It didn't. When I was trying to order non meat based food in friendship. It definitely seemed to be surprising to people.
Luke Burbank
I didn't see that T shirt in the hardware store that says, I don't jog because these colors don't run. Yes.
Andrew Walsh
And then it had, I think an American flag on it or something like that. So that definitely set a tone. And so I just. So I sheepishly asked, could you tear the bread out? And then she looks at me deadpan, this very kind of overworked, hustling, I don't know, 22 year old. And she goes, I don't know how to do that. And then that was my worst fear realized because I knew there was a line. I didn't want to, like, delay anyone. I didn't want to be a hat. I didn't want to give anyone their worst day of their life at work. And then I was like, oh my God, I am so sorry. She goes, no, I'm just messing with you.
Luke Burbank
Oh, really? Is that what happened? That's so funny because I was like, I don't know how to do that. What that mean? That really makes me. I wish I'd paid more attention. That is the I that, you know me. That's my energy. I love that kind of got me.
Andrew Walsh
I think, because I. I think what happened was I was so sheepish about how I was ordering it that I probably. I was almost patronizing in a way. Kind of like, I was like, can you do the thing where you rip some of the bread out? And then she just looked at me deadpan and goes, I don't know how to do that. And then I was like, oh my God, I'm just, I'm that guy. I'm that coastal elite. Here I am in flyover country showing myself for the coastal elite. I am. And then she laughed. She was like, no, of course. And then she just started doing it.
Luke Burbank
Oh, that's so sweet.
Andrew Walsh
So that is what you observe on.
Luke Burbank
A really busy day. And what could probably be a soul crushing job just given like the location of that and just like the constant repetition and just like looking up and seeing that this line is never getting shorter.
Andrew Walsh
That was when I worked in short service. That was the worst when I worked in at Dick's or even when I worked at like Bumpy's Fruit and Yogurt. When you look up and the line is starting to get out the door, that is just such a bad feeling.
Luke Burbank
Yeah. And, but to, but to not just maintain your humanity, but your humor. My God, I'm inspired. I'm. I'm I'm inspired by that sandwich artist and I wish I had witnessed more of that. Maybe that's what I saw. Just the end of your interaction, maybe. And you, you maybe were laughing or something and I didn't.
Andrew Walsh
I was laughing. It was a nice, it was a nice moment of levity there. And, and it was a good sandwich as well. I. Here's what I would say, and I'm not trying to tell people how to live their lives, but I think the difference between a Subway, my normal order, well, as we discussed, my normal order back in the day would have been a meatball sub. God, I love those. But also I would have gone with turkey a lot of the time. I would argue that if you order a Veggie Delight or a veggie sandwich from Subway and you have all the right fixings on it, you don't even miss the turkey. It's not, that's not world class turkey. That's not winning any major awards. Like what you really in the Subway game for if you're me, is the taste of the weird taste of the veggies, which are sort of specific to Subway for me. Some spicy mustard. I do like mayo. I know you don't go in for the mayo. The oil and vinegar, the salt and pepper, the, the pepperoncinis. Like there was a, there were many bites in there where I thought, this doesn't even need turkey on it.
Luke Burbank
I, I'm just really mad. I, I don't do that. I do need the meat. But the thing is, when I was getting meat, I'm not just getting turkey. That sort of sounds boring to me, but I'll be honest with you, they've just, we talked about this when they made their big menu change a few years ago. The numbering system, not only the numbering, they have destroyed the menu. Like, I went to Subway a lot more back in the day and I honestly think, I mean, listen, I'm sure they're doing fine. You know, Like, I'm sure me not going there isn't going to get them to change their menu back. But like, I'm not doing it out of protest, but I realize I'm not going to Subway anymore because they took my sandwiches off. Like I'd always get there.
Andrew Walsh
What was your go to?
Luke Burbank
They had two things that were very, very similar. I can't remember the difference between it, but it was like an Italian bmt, which. That was one of those. That was always.
Andrew Walsh
Sounds dirty to me.
Luke Burbank
And it was a holdover. Wasn't it named after one of the Subway Stops. I think that's one of the last sandwiches that was still named after New York subway stop. But it was a mixture of meat. And then there was another one that was just sort of like the, I don't know, some. Another version of that that. It was like the spicy Italian or something, but very similar. It's like three different kinds of meats. It was like probably like turkey and salami and maybe pepperoni. It had more of like one of them is more spicy and has more spicy meats. And then I do like a lot of veggies on that, but I really like the meat. And again, it's kind of a. It was more like something that had a little bit more of a kick to it and now they just don't have it. And they, whatever they replaced it with, they put some other garbage on. They like, they strip the sandwich way down. It's down to like maybe one kind of meat or maybe two. But then they replaced it with like extra cheese. They're like, the sandwich has extra cheese now. Well, if I don't eat cheese and you take that all off, like, that's no good. And then some sort of a. Like a. Like it was some sort of a cheese balsamic. I know that sounds awful. I can't be right about that. No, it couldn't have been balsamic. It was a. Some sort of a cheese flavored dressing. And I mean, I don't know if you're looking at the menu now, there's probably. It was probably a parmesan dressing or something. And I'm like, oh, God, miss me with that. I'll be at Taco John's.
Andrew Walsh
That was so spicy for me.
Luke Burbank
And then. But John always says, John Sklaroff, our John, not Taco John. He's always, you know, as the kind of official Subway.
Andrew Walsh
Because he did work at Subway.
Luke Burbank
Yeah, he was. He's a sandwich artist emeritus. He's always like, they'll make whatever you want. Like, just tell them to.
Andrew Walsh
Well, that's what you want.
Luke Burbank
But the thing is, like, I don't remember what was on those sandwiches. I just say bmt, hold the cheese, not toasted. Thank you. And then I would like add all of my stuff. Like it's a very. The sandwich ended up being fine, by the way. But it just wasn't as exciting as it used to be. I think I'm done. I think I'm a Jersey Mike's man now.
Andrew Walsh
Now you know about the whole Mike's Way. Jersey Mike. Mike's way thing, right?
Luke Burbank
Oh, yeah, yeah, I always do.
Andrew Walsh
You do that?
Luke Burbank
Oh, yeah, definitely. I get it. Mike's way. What does that mean? Exercise? I believe it is oil and vinegar. And what would you. What is the seasoning? Is it basil? Not basil. Oregano probably. Right. What would you say in a sandwich? Not oregano, not basil. Is it thyme? It's one of those. It's one of those sort of earthy things. I think that's it. Right. Oil, vinegar, and when you.
Andrew Walsh
I'm on. I'm on Reddit. Mike's way is onion, lettuce, tomato, oil, vinegar, oregano and salt. You actually.
Luke Burbank
That's right, yeah. Oh, I left off the lettuce and tomato and onions, but yeah, that's part of it as well. And a blend of spices. I always get that. Plus pepperoncinis.
Andrew Walsh
I was telling you guys that I. My order. In my early 20s, I used to eat at Subway a minimum of once a week and it was always on the same night. It would be. I was driving home from playing pickup basketball and I would just be just. It was a couple hours of really hard running and exercise and stuff. And so I guess I'd be in a pretty big calorie deficit and I would get. I would stop at this Subway that's kind of on in like, sort of Denny. Like it was basically in between where we played. We played basketball at like Ballard High, I think, one of those high schools. And then I'd go back home to where I lived in like Beacon Hill for some reason. I'd go to this one, Subway, and I would get a full foot long meatball sub and then a full foot long turkey sub, and then probably a minimum of six cookies. Oh, and chips and a soda. And I would eat the first sub, probably the meatball sub sitting in the car, and then I would drive home and then I would eat the second sub when I got home. Two feet of sub. That's a lot of food.
Luke Burbank
Oh, to have a metabolism.
Andrew Walsh
I know.
Luke Burbank
God. I mean, I didn't even have one back then, but I certainly don't. I have even less.
Andrew Walsh
I know. It's insane when I think about like, like. So Peter and I, when we used to work at Bumpy's Fruit and Yogurt, we, you know, one of the things that we would do in the summertime was we would close early, which was bad because that was depriving the boss of the money that he needed to keep the place open. But we would, we would. A lot of times we would close early because we just wanted to get out of there. But we would also. There was this tip jar, and I don't know what the exact distribution of. There was some kind of a system where I think it was supposed to. All the tip money was supposed to go into the till or into some shared fund and then later distributed. But we would just like absolutely pilfer that thing because we'd be closing and we would take all of that. The tip money that we. We took. We would just drive straight to that jack in the box that's not very far from where you now live.
Luke Burbank
Oh, yeah.
Andrew Walsh
And. And we would order. I mean, we're both like. I think I'm like 16, he's 17 or whatever. We're both just like teenagers who. I just have hollow. Hollow legs. Both legs are hollow at this point. I mean, I would order probably 15,000 to 20,000 calories of food. And then we would go home, we go to his house, and we would watch Conan o'. Brien. And we'd eat like. I'd eat like two sourdough jacks, a jumbo jack fries, a couple of tacos for good measure, and just like to wash it down. Yeah, you know, I'd probably wash it down with a cookie shake or something. But it was like I was like a Hollywood actor who had been cast in a role where they needed to, like, double in size.
Luke Burbank
Oh, you were in the Wrestler? Not the Wrestler. Was that.
Andrew Walsh
That wasn't the whale or something?
Luke Burbank
Whale I'm thinking of, yes. I've never seen any of those.
Andrew Walsh
I haven't either. That whole idea of that movie is very weird to me, honestly. Like, I feel like it's. I'm kind of surprised. I mean, I'm surprised that got made in this day and age because I can't. I haven't seen it, but I can't understand how that movie could be interpreted as anything other than non body positive.
Luke Burbank
I don't know enough about it. And I always get confused with Encino Man. Aren't they both Brendan Fraser? Am I right?
Andrew Walsh
They are both Brendan Frazier. They are both. But that's. That's a pretty good joke, actually.
Luke Burbank
Do you want to do another quick spin of the wheel? Oh, I'm sorry, am I cutting you off? Let's do a real quick spin of the wheel there. Let's hope it lands on a shorty.
Andrew Walsh
Let me get the wheel.
Luke Burbank
It's like you're disappearing behind it.
Andrew Walsh
Yeah. And short one.
Luke Burbank
Oh, it did land on a short one. And an old one. An old one. I listened to this when I pulled it off the voicemail line. This might be like a half a year old or something now.
Andrew Walsh
Oh boy.
Luke Burbank
You and I must have just been talking. I like going to guitar Center. I enjoy the experience at my local guitar center down in the Roosevelt neighborhood. They are so GD helpful there. Luke. They were so busy before we went on the road to Wisconsin and I had to pick up a few like, supplies to ship off to John. But I didn't have a box to ship all this stuff in. I need a pretty big box to ship an audio board and all this stuff. And I didn't know exactly where I was going to get that box. I was going to figure it out. But while I'm at guitar Center. A very busy day at guitar center, by the way. Not unlike that subway. I'm checking. I'm paying for the stuff I bought. And I said to the guy behind the counter, kind of a young man, I'm like, I know you're super busy, but is there any chance you have like a big box that some musical equipment or something came in that maybe I could use to ship this stuff? And he's like, yeah, I mean, if you hang. He's like, I'm busy right now, but if you just hang out for a little bit, I will, I'll find the time. And. And then he helps a few more people. And then somebody asks him, he's like, I can't help you right now. I'm just too busy. And so I stepped up. I'm like, dude, you're so busy, you can't help me? He's like, no, I'm busy helping you. I'm going in the back to get that box now. And it was the perfect. He brought me back two boxes. One of them was the perfect size. I don't even know if we would have had a show in Wisconsin if it weren't for that fella. So I'm a big fan of a guitar center. And we got this voicemail from listener David of Smitten's fame. Hey, this is David from the Smitten. So first time caller. Isn't that shocking? First time calling, that is.
Andrew Walsh
He's been at my house on my porch playing music, but never called.
Luke Burbank
We did a video with him for that series we did a couple years ago. Hey, this is David from the Smittens, a first time caller. I'm calling because of the guitar center talk and the gentleman there being very polite. I was, I was in there once looking for a like a little headphone amplifier and they had one behind the counter. And it didn't have a price on it. And the guy just gave it to me. He's like, ah, it's in the counter.
Andrew Walsh
Doesn'T have a price.
Luke Burbank
I guess it's free and wowed out the door with it. Cool story.
Andrew Walsh
And we wonder why that place is going out of business.
Luke Burbank
Honestly, that makes me want to go there even more. Like I love. I am lost leader. I am loving Guitar Center. I know that it's down the street from like the Trading Musician, which was like a long standing, local, beloved used equipment store that recently went out of business. I'm sure Guitar center in some ways is kind of like the. The big baddie.
Andrew Walsh
It's owned by the guy. It's owned by Jimmy John.
Luke Burbank
I was about to say it's owned by Papa John.
Andrew Walsh
It's owned by a problematic John. Okay.
Luke Burbank
Yeah, it's one. One of them. But I love that story so much and I'm glad to know that it's not just localized to here in Seattle because David's out in New England somewhere. Right. They're just. They're hiring the right people and they have the. And they have the right leeway, I would say.
Andrew Walsh
And you know, I say that why they're going out of business, but maybe they're not. Honestly, every time I go in one, there's a lot of people. It's just chaotic.
Luke Burbank
Yeah.
Andrew Walsh
It always feels to me like they're going out of business. But actually just could be my perception. Yeah.
Luke Burbank
I don't know. I mean, also, as other places kind of maybe do go out of business, like I am more likely to try to go to Guitar center to get a little electronic doohickey of some sort than I would Best Buy. Back in the day. It would have been Best Buy, but Best Buy definitely has that hollowed out feeling these days. A lot of empty. And you're just like h. You're not going to have anything. And so maybe more people like me are turning to Guitar Center. And honestly, I hope they stay in business because when you get rid of the Guitar Centers, all you'll have is Amazon for this kind of stuff. And I really appreciate they've been so I think maybe the story that I told that led to that voicemail was how some guy on the phone was like really helping me, like kind of figure out the. The right board to get. And like they're always very. If. If they don't have the. All of the information you need, they're very patient. They will sit there and answer every single one of my annoying questions until I've. Until I've exhausted myself and it's time for a nap.
Andrew Walsh
I love those people. And I hope that they. I hope they live a thousand years. A thousand lifetimes. What do they say?
Luke Burbank
May live to be a thousand years old, sir.
Andrew Walsh
May Guitar center live to be a thousand years old. Right. All right, so that's all the voicemail right now. We're done. Now we move on.
Luke Burbank
No, Luke, I still have some. You. Looks like somebody is calling the voicemail line right now, leaving another voicemail.
Andrew Walsh
You gotta be. Well, then I guess tomorrow we better clear some more out.
Luke Burbank
I guess so.
Andrew Walsh
That's what we're gonna do. Okay, everybody, we will be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you. In the meantime, have yourself a great Tuesday. And please remember, no mountain too tall.
Luke Burbank
And good luck to all. Hey there. I'm just listening to episode 4000, 525, and you guys are talking about garbage men or collectors. Or different names for that. Of course, like today's modern technology. I've turned to AI There's a few examples. Sanitation worker, waste collector, refuse technician, environmental services worker, waste disposal operator, solid waste handler. That sounds gross. Waste management specialist. I kind of like that one. Recycling and waste coordinator. That's a good one. Trash collector, waste removal technician, environmental operations worker, municipal waste specialist. That's all pretty good. This is Russell S. In Kennewick, Washington. Power out. Power out.
Podcast Summary: TBTL Episode #4530 – "It’s Subway Or The Highway"
Introduction
In episode #4530 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live, hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh delve into a variety of engaging topics ranging from music appreciation to memorable road trips and listener interactions. Released on August 12, 2025, this episode exemplifies the duo’s signature blend of humor, nostalgia, and candid conversations.
The episode kicks off with a spirited debate about the quality of original music recordings. Andrew Walsh expresses frustration over the diminishing appreciation for authentic sound quality:
Luke Burbank concurs, highlighting the nuances that make original recordings special:
The hosts passionately discuss the richness of mids in music, lamenting the loss of certain audio qualities in modern productions.
The conversation seamlessly transitions to their favorite beverage, Fresca, which has become a staple in their show’s culture. Andrew introduces a voicemail from a listener, affectionately dubbing Fresca as the "official beverage of TBTL":
Luke shares his journey with Fresca, initially unaware it was a diet soda:
The hosts reflect on whether their preference for Fresca is genuine or influenced by their social circles, bringing a relatable introspection into the discussion.
Andrew recounts a memorable road trip to Wisconsin, which took an unexpected turn involving a road rage incident:
They narrate an encounter with Harriet, a friend who notoriously drives slowly at night:
This story underscores the unpredictable nature of road trips and the importance of maintaining composure behind the wheel.
The episode features a voicemail from Danielle in SeaTac, sparking a conversation about the infamous Big Mac challenge:
Luke reminisces about his time working at McDonald's, recalling the oddest customer orders:
This leads to a discussion about the evolution of McDonald's "special sauce," now referred to as "Mac sauce," and its impact on their memories of the Big Mac.
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing Subway, their favorite sandwich chain, and its evolving menu:
Luke expresses disappointment over the changes in Subway’s sandwich offerings:
Andrew contrasts this with his positive experiences, particularly highlighting the importance of customization:
They lament the simplification of Subway’s menu, missing the variety and flavor of past menu items like the Italian BMT, and discuss their shift in preference towards Jersey Mike’s.
The hosts share another voicemail from David of Smitten’s fame, praising the exceptional customer service at Guitar Center:
Luke recounts his own positive experience at Guitar Center, emphasizing the helpfulness of the staff:
Andrew echoes this sentiment, wishing Guitar Center longevity and excellence in customer service:
These stories highlight the value of knowledgeable and kind customer service representatives in enhancing customer experiences.
As the episode nears its end, Luke and Andrew playfully acknowledge the continuous influx of voicemails:
They hint at future episodes where they plan to address more listener messages, maintaining their commitment to audience engagement.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps:
Andrew Walsh (00:16): “You can't get that warm sound anymore. You know, the bass, the treble, the mids.”
Andrew Walsh (03:30): “How about a Fresca? You know, like they were like, oh, yeah, this is both something that I enjoy drinking and I enjoy being part of TBTL lore because I drink a lot of Fresca on this show.”
Andrew Walsh (10:03): “She was unapologetic. It wasn't like she was like, oh my gosh...”
Luke Burbank (25:35): “I realize I'm not going to Subway anymore because they took my sandwiches off.”
David (33:26): “...the guy just gave it to me.”
Andrew Walsh (35:56): “May Guitar Center live to be a thousand years old.”
Conclusion
Episode #4530 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live offers listeners a blend of nostalgic reminiscing, humorous anecdotes, and heartfelt stories. Luke and Andrew’s dynamic interplay and genuine interactions provide an engaging listening experience, inviting both longtime fans and newcomers to join in their daily adventures through the world’s quirks and delights.