#4537 Minutia Without Borders

Summary

TBTL Ep. 4537: "Minutia Without Borders"

Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh
Date: August 21, 2025

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Episode Overview

This lively Thursday episode finds longtime friends and hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh channeling their trademark blend of personal storytelling, playful banter, and cultural commentary. Titled "Minutia Without Borders," the episode exemplifies TBTL's dedication to embracing and celebrating the small, odd moments that make up daily life—whether it's debating the merits of gas station food, sharing standup ambitions, troubleshooting household chores, reviewing films, or commiserating about air travel. The show also features "blursday" shout-outs to listeners celebrating birthdays and other milestones.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Opening Banter and Creative Pursuits ([00:00–03:00])

• Luke reveals he’s been bitten by the "art bug" after recent directorial work, and is now taking a stand-up workshop at a community college.
• The duo riff on invented personas for hypothetical workshop routines, playing with lawyer-mom-turned-comedian cliches.
• Luke and Andrew joke about TBTL’s lack of structured personal minutia segments, in contrast to their friends’ podcast "A Cup of Tea and a Chat."
  Quote – Luke: "Just think about the first sounds you hear at the top of an episode of TBTL...think about those as the borders of our personal minutia segment." ([05:12])

2. Podcast Crossover: Visiting Gene "Bean" Baxter ([03:46–10:00])

• Andrew recounts listening to a recent episode of "A Cup of Tea and a Chat," noting Bean finally gave Luke a shout-out for his London visit.
• Luke pokes fun at Bean’s "glowing review" and the brevity of the mention.
• They discuss the meta-circularity of podcasts promoting each other and the attention economy. Quote – Luke (sarcastic): "I traveled all the way across the Atlantic Ocean...what it's really turned into is a long running promotion for Cup of Tea and a Chat." ([09:09])

3. Listener Drops, 30 Rock References, and Intro Tape ([10:11–13:37])

• Luke struggles to extract a voice memo (the "Andrew Drop") from WhatsApp, with playful banter about pronunciation.
• The drop is played: "Meet Andrew the reject, the strange one, the weird kid who has been waiting all this time to really raise some hell."
• Reference to Larry King, and the use of classic 30 Rock quotes about "sexuality."

4. Movie Reviews: "Naked Gun" and "Friendship" ([13:47–21:59])

• Andrew enthusiastically reviews the new "Naked Gun" movie, praising its pure slapstick and pacing.
• Luke reflects on the rarity of laughing out loud in the theater, especially after the "Friendship" movie which leans more into "cringe humor."
• They break down a memorable psychedelic "toad licking" scene from "Friendship," lauding its mundane surrealism and surprise. Quote – Andrew: "For a kid who grew up watching a lot of 60s movies, this was by far the best trip scene I've ever seen." ([18:29]) Quote – Luke: "As a non-psychedelia person...there's nothing I like less than drug humor. When he licked the toad...the joke was just that it was mundane and also short." ([19:28])

5. Pencil Sharpeners, Putters, and Household Satisfaction ([21:59–26:27])

• Luke shows off an old-school pencil sharpener, gifted by listener Sarah Nichols Smith, installed in his studio—a symbol of childhood stability and tactile satisfaction.
• Andrew describes his childhood fascination with emptying out full sharpeners; both reminisce about the sensory joy of mechanical pencil sharpening in school.
• "Puttering" discussed as a personal comfort, from ice-making to maintaining vacuums.

6. Gross Domestic Chores: Vacuums, Mini Split Cloning, and Satisfying Clogs ([26:38–34:09])

• Luke narrates a detailed home maintenance tale: unclogging a mini split drain with a shop vac, describing the immense satisfaction of seeing the clog get sucked away. Quote – Luke: "I swear to God I did this, and then just like a giant brown clog of dust just goes right...it was so satisfying because it was exactly...a commercial for clearing a clog." ([31:19])
• Andrew talks about Genevieve’s use of vacuum-seal bags for storage, marveling at analog, tactile solutions amidst modernity.

7. The Anti-Peeling Plastic Curse ([34:48–38:32])

• Listener voicemail (Eric) bemoans not being able to fully peel protective film from his fridge, resulting in "constant frustration."
• Andrew and Luke relate, griping about home appliance design choices—then riff about the true signs of civilization: opposable thumbs and peeled appliance film. Quote – Luke: "Opposable thumbs, the use of cutlery, and that we take the protective film off of our appliances...that’s what separates us from the beasts of the field." ([38:22])

8. Regional Gas Stations, Wawas vs. Kwik Trips ([41:13–46:05])

• Tangent on the beloved/overrated status of regional gas station chains: Kwik Trip (Midwest), Wawa (East Coast), and the notorious "Kum & Go" (soon to be renamed).
• Andrew admits to not being swayed by the veneration of local quick-marts. Quote – Luke: "No shade, but...I wouldn’t put it in my vows, Andrew. It was an absolutely run-of-the-mill gas station." ([44:44])

9. Listener Supporters and Animal Trivia ([38:54–41:02])

• The hosts recognize supporting donors, weaving in animal facts about opposable thumbs ("lemurs? sloths?") and playful asides about capitalist thumbs for all.

10. Air Travel Woes: The Window Seat Lawsuit ([48:35–55:19])

• Top Story: Delta and United face class-action lawsuits over charging for "window seats" that lack actual windows.
• Both hosts express surprise, outrage, and experience with seat selection upcharges vs. true amenities. Quote – Luke: "People paid extra money for a window seat...and there was no window, just a blank ass wall in the plane." ([50:02])
• They note not all airlines are guilty; Alaska and American clearly identify windowless seats.
• Luke and Andrew debate premium seat pricing, the "basic economy" tier, and lament the shrinking personal space for modern travelers. Quote – Andrew: "I'm always clocking the space between people's knees and the seat in front of them, because I'm always astounded how I have none." ([57:13])

11. Aging, Back Pain Stories, and Nostalgic Misery ([59:44–69:45])

• Both recall battles with debilitating back/neck spasms, mixing real empathy, vivid (painful) anecdotes, and gallows humor. Quote – Luke: "I'm monkey boning through this airport...I had to hold my head up with my hand." ([64:40])

12. Reflections on Control, Flexibility, and Going With the Flow in Aging ([69:39–71:12])

• Luke muses on aging and personal rigidity, pondering whether trying to control every detail makes people more brittle—in mind and spirit. Quote – Luke: "I wonder if it wouldn't help to keep me younger...if I put myself in situations where I'm not controlling everything." ([70:39])

13. Mariners Baseball Meltdown & Listener "Blursday" Celebrations ([73:04–87:42])

• Blursday (birthday) messages to listeners take on the usual TBTL warmth and playfulness.
• Extended aside: Mariners fandom angst over confusing management decisions, with plenty of venting, postgame podcast meta-commentary, and a (gentle) warning against sports-related trolling. Quote – Andrew ("Saucedo" reliever): "I’d never advocate for any kind of direct interaction with sports figures like that—especially death threats...But also, I never want to see that man’s face in a Mariners uniform again." ([75:06])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

1. Luke on Podcast Minutia Philosophy
   "Minutia without borders...we wouldn’t dare create a segment with defined borders, because that would not allow us enough personal minutia time." ([05:04])

2. Andrew on Comedy Movie Relief
   "I can’t remember the last time I left a theater and just felt like I just laughed for 90 minutes." ([14:25])

3. Luke on Home Appliance Satisfaction
   "Stability that I needed in my life...the thing was a pencil sharpener installed in Mrs. Horton’s classroom." ([24:02])

4. On Air Travel and Modern Inconvenience
   "I would sooner fly on the outside of the airplane, Andrew, than show up the day of my flight and only then find out the seat they were giving me." ([55:19])

5. Classic TBTL Philosophy
   "You can be nothing but one. Just remember that life is number one. You can be having so much fun." ([72:12])

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Segment Timestamps (MM:SS)

• [00:00] – Art bug, standup class, and invented personas
• [03:46] – Luke’s London visit, podcast rivalry/crossover
• [10:11] – WhatsApp voicemails, memes, and show intros
• [13:47] – Movie reviews: "Naked Gun" & "Friendship"
• [21:59] – Nostalgic joy of pencil sharpeners
• [26:38] – Mini split vacuuming and home repair glory
• [34:48] – Listener gripe: un-peelable fridge film
• [38:54] – Thanking donors, animal thumb trivia
• [41:13] – Gas station loyalty: Wawa vs. Kwik Trip
• [48:35] – Top Story: the window seat airline lawsuit
• [57:13] – Legroom woes, airline seat hacking
• [59:44] – Back pain chronicles and aging
• [69:39] – Musings on flexibility vs. rigidity with age
• [73:04] – Blursday messages
• [74:58--81:04] – Mariners second-guessing and sports commiseration
• [87:17] – Episode close: "Minutia Sans Frontiers"

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Tone & Style

Throughout, the hosts keep things light, self-effacing, and affectionate, whether dissecting pop culture, bemoaning modern inconveniences, or gently roasting each other and the world around them. Their signature blend of storytelling, quirky curiosity, and shared history shines—a celebration of "minutia without borders."

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For listeners new and old, this episode is peak TBTL: part comedy, part therapy session, part long-running inside joke. Expect laughter, nostalgia, and the comforting affirmation that everyone somewhere finds a weird thrill in a perfectly sharpened pencil or a triumphantly cleared vacuum hose.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

You know, he's not the only one that's exploring their creative side. I had that awesome directing gig recently and I really got bit by the art bug, so I'm secretly taking standup workshop down at the community college, so. Ah, you want to check it? Yeah, yeah. Welcome, Susan Bieber. I am usually a lawyer, but I'm also a mother, and I find time to do charity work on the side also. Oh, I was so popular in high school and I'm still popular now with the people that I work with. That's what I got so far.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, tbtm.

[Luke Burbank]

It's the first line of the film.

[Andrew Walsh]

Man, it's gotta be on the money here. Wow. You want to roll with this? Then let me tell you how this is gonna go. Now let me tell you how this is gonna go. No, I'm not interested. I'm not interested. You know who's not interested? Me. I'm also not interested.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, a lot of people may not know this, but I happen to be quite famous. Please.

[Andrew Walsh]

I hate to say this about anyone, but that man is full of bologna.

[Luke Burbank]

Bologna. You're right. He's so vile, we should use the.

[Andrew Walsh]

Crude Americanization of the word.

[Luke Burbank]

He's full of bologna.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, are we done with the business part?

[Luke Burbank]

I wanted to start the clown portion. Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Thursday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

[Andrew Walsh]

Louie, what is that? What is.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm like. I don't know.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't.

[Luke Burbank]

What is it? My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host.

[Andrew Walsh]

In short, things are going extremely well for him.

[Luke Burbank]

Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia. Another beautiful summer day here. Oh, Ma.

[Andrew Walsh]

Pa.

[Luke Burbank]

It's just beautiful. I guess things are going to get hot. Things are going to get spicy this weekend around here. Maybe getting into the 1/ hundreds of degrees. As far as today goes, this Thursday, it's absolutely beautiful. It's the perfect temperature to bring you episode 4537 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. Bunch of folks who have joined a class action lawsuit, paid extra money when on Delta and United flights to get a window seat. I wish I hadn't done that. Something happened to them. Which we'll talk about today on the show. I almost got fooled by the Internet this morning. Welcome to the Internet. Something that is now a actually a sort of constant hazard of news gathering and show prepping for me. Gotta be careful about this. I almost, almost fell victim to it. But I didn't. And now I'm gonna tell you about how I didn't fall victim to it. Oh, and because it's a Thursday, AKA a blursday, my birthday today, we'll do some blursday messages.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't want to get, I don't get weird right here at the top of the show, but I was kind of going through some stuff the last couple of blurs days, and for some reasons that Andrew and I have chosen not to discuss on air, I was maintaining my silence during the blurs day messages. But that ends this week. I'm back, baby. I'm gonna stand on all 10 toes and say it with my full chest. Happy blurs day, everybody. Speaking of Andrew Walsh, of course, he is the longest running cobra of the show. I would say for many years he was best known for his depictions of the tall ships. But it's possible that this other distinction has now replaced that as the thing he's best known for, which is of course the fact that he is the.

[Andrew Walsh]

Man who brought the rock and roll edge to the Eagles.

[Luke Burbank]

He is joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning, Luke. Do you remember way back when you were in London, you were visiting our friend Gene Bean? Baxter.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely.

[Andrew Walsh]

And of course Bean has a podcast as well. Bean practically invented the radio medium, if I understand it correctly.

[Luke Burbank]

Uh huh. It was like basically Marconi. And then Bean started pulling drops for Marconi. He started sending Marconi drops?

[Andrew Walsh]

I believe so. So we could punch this up. He said, well, you got going for a listener voicemail segment. I haven't even invented voicemail yet, friend. Well, I don't want to put words in your mouth, but you on this show said that maybe disappointed is the wrong word.

[Luke Burbank]

No, furious is the wrong word.

[Andrew Walsh]

You were. Okay, furious and definitely surprised.

[Luke Burbank]

That blood feud, I believe, kind of comes to mind. Bridges burned, friendships destroyed forever.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

These are all terms that I used off air.

[Andrew Walsh]

They have a segment on their show, cup of Tea in a chat with Ally and Bean called personal minutia at the top of the show where they just kind of talk about their lives a little bit. What's going on? Personal minutia. I can't imagine doing that on a podcast. That's not exactly my style, but it works.

[Luke Burbank]

We wouldn't dare create a, a segment for that that had actual defined borders, Andrew, because.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Because that would not allow us enough personal minutiae time. The. Just think about the first, the first sounds you hear at the top of an episode of tbtl. All the Way to the last strains of Words by doves. Think about those as the borders of our personal minutia segment.

[Andrew Walsh]

Minutia without borders.

[Luke Burbank]

We're gonna say let's start early show title.

[Andrew Walsh]

Start a group.

[Luke Burbank]

I love it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I have some good news for you.

[Luke Burbank]

And it's also. It's also minutia sans frontiers, depending on.

[Andrew Walsh]

If you're in Europe. That's right. Very good. Well, I have some good news for you. I don't know what episode you listened to. Presumably the one that posted immediately after your visit, but I was just listening to kind of a quasi random episode last night. Just sort of catching up on my cup of tea in a chat. And I think, and I don't have this in front of me, but I'm pretty sure the episode I was listening to posted on Saturday. Just this last Saturday, the 16th. And Ally brought up that Bean did have a special guest. And I will say when you hear the glowing review that Bean offered for your visit, you're going to be embarrassed about the way he languishes praise on you and what it.

[Luke Burbank]

Hold on, Andrew. I need to try to get to my mailbox because I had some outgoing mail destination, London, England. That says some things that I think I may need to try to. I may need to claw that back.

[Andrew Walsh]

How do you take back an email? All right, take a listen to this. And again, don't get embarrassed with how kind of. I can't even think of the word. Kind of overzealous he is describing the visit. Let's go back. I feel like you had a guest you were super excited about, which is.

[Luke Burbank]

Hold on now. Can we hit pause? I do feel like it's interesting that Ally had to prompt him. If this was from the heart. Andrew, I feel like it wouldn't take Ally, who I've never met. But anyway, I'm. Put that aside. You can tell I'm still working through my feelings.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, no, definitely no. It's really. It's going to be really sweet. Let's go back. I feel like you had a guest you were super excited about, which is.

[Luke Burbank]

Rare because often you're too busy telling.

[Andrew Walsh]

Us about how you're so upset you.

[Luke Burbank]

Have a guest coming over.

[Andrew Walsh]

Relatable.

[Luke Burbank]

But this is someone you actually liked.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wasn't your friend Luke visiting like he was?

[Luke Burbank]

He was here. He and his lady friend came by for some tea and cake a couple of Fridays ago. Maybe it was just last Friday.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And we had a great time and a great catch up.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't really have much More to add to that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

He was one of the few people this summer that I was excited to see. That feels mean.

[Andrew Walsh]

Clearly Ally had also visited this summer. But I mean, honestly, could you get a more glowing review than this?

[Luke Burbank]

We had a great time and a great catch up.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't really have much more to add to that.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, it's embarrassing, sort of. He must have heard you complaining.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

About not getting a mention. And now he's laying it on. So always. Yeah, we had a great time and.

[Luke Burbank]

A great catch up. I don't have much more to add to that. Anytime that we go out on a limb and maybe say some, we speak from the heart and I talk about my true, you know, sort of disappointment, my feeling of being a little sidelined, a little passed over. And of course the person we're talking about hears it. You know, it was like when you were savaging a journalist from Wisconsin recently about a news piece related to us. And then of course, that journalist tuned into that episode of the show. This is just Murphy's Law. But I do, I do appreciate that. What did he say? It was a nice catch up. Everything went fine. We don't have anything else to add.

[Andrew Walsh]

Nothing. And I have nothing to add. I have nothing to add.

[Luke Burbank]

We had a great time and a great catch up.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't really have much more to add to that. I mean, think about the irony of this whole thing, Andrew, which is that I traveled all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, I think. I mean, it wasn't even the Atlantic. As you fly over Greenland when you're going to Europe, it's a. It's a. Has something to do with the rotation of the earth. This is, this is true. And like there is a moment where you look at, if you're looking at the little map on the screen, you're like, wow, we are like almost flying over the North Pole right now. It's pretty cool.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But anyway, traveled all that way, went and, and saw Bean and Donna and their. Their pug and like enjoyed again their, their spectacular home there in, in London. And yet what it's really turned into is a long running promotion for cup of Tea and a Chat. Yes, it is not. It's not like cup of Tea in a Chat is talking about TBTL extensively. It's that somehow now TBTL is gone from almost no mentions of that show to constant mentions of that show here on tbtl. So he's really. He's winning. He is, he's kind of winning the. I don't know what you'd call it, the sort of attention in the. As our buddy Chris Hayes talks about the attention economy, he's printing money. Is that Bean Baxter?

[Andrew Walsh]

He's a pro. In fact, maybe this is on purpose. Maybe this is a sort of negging, knowing that the longer he unfolds. Because when I first heard this, I'm like, what were you guys doing talking about state secrets? Like, what. What happened that he can't open up and talk about it? But maybe it's just. That's between you guys and it's private, and that's all we're going to say about that.

[Luke Burbank]

Now, here's the thing. I've also got this piece of audio that I'm considering, uh, oh, playing. But I have not actually previewed it. Here's the thing. Bean sent me a drop. It just says Andrew drop. And he says, I pulled this for you, but he sent it to me in WhatsApp. And I can't forward it out of WhatsApp to, like, my normal stuff because when I hit the boy.

[Andrew Walsh]

I like the way you say WhatsApp. And I don't know if I do it too, but when you say it, it almost sounds like the app is called what Zap? And I like that as a what.

[Luke Burbank]

Zap instead of how would. How would you say.

[Andrew Walsh]

And the thing is, I feel like I'm criticizing you, but I don't feel criticizing you. I don't know that it's you or just the way anybody would say it, but for some reason, the way it's coming out, I'm picturing It like, oh, WhatsApp. I don't know. I say WhatsApp. WhatsApp. I probably say it the same exact.

[Luke Burbank]

Way, but I see a camera, Funny camera. I guess I could send it to you, Andrew, but then you'd have to open it on your. See, the problem is it's trapped in this app right now.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And so I can't really play it. You know what I can do, though?

[Andrew Walsh]

You can email it to yourself, right? Or just play it.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, let's see. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I can email it to myself.

[Andrew Walsh]

Download it to your phone and then email it.

[Luke Burbank]

That's exactly what I just did, Andrew, and that's exactly what I'm going to do now. Do you. So this, here's my guess. This is something from our show that Bean pulled of you saying something. I have not previewed it. What would be your guess? What would be. I feel like it's gonna be something. Now we know Bean doesn't go in for the scatological. Yeah, he's not in love with. I mean, this is something that comes up when he and Ally are doing the show is like. He doesn't like talk of bodily functions. He doesn't overly love that.

[Andrew Walsh]

But he will go bluer than we go. Like some of the intro tape and stuff he uses. I'm sometimes sexual.

[Luke Burbank]

He can't get enough.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, he's insatiable.

[Luke Burbank]

Honestly. In the words of Larry King.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you know the line from 30 Rock? It's so hard to quote. But V and I say to each other all the time, where Jenna is saying how she's gonna convince a man of something. I don't know if it's Jack or somebody. She's gonna convince him. She's like, I'm gonna use my. And Liz says, please don't say sexuality. Sexuality. And she says, in a way, I'm gonna use my sexuality. Here's the other thing. This tape could be, though, Luke. It could be a drop that he thinks would be good intro tape for me. Like something that's a little bit. It's not my own voice, but it could just be something that is a little. A little bit funny. If you played it before introducing me on the show. That's just one possibility. I'm not saying it's a good one.

[Luke Burbank]

It could be that it's just called Andrew Drop. I've now successfully brought it into the system. I can now play it for you. It's eight and a half seconds. It's called Andrew Drop. We're in one of those situations where the drum roll is three times as long as the drop. But that's okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

Kind of nervous. No joke. Meet Andrew the reject, the strange one, the weird kid who has been waiting all this time to really raise some hell. I love that. That is great.

[Luke Burbank]

That's really good.

[Andrew Walsh]

Save that one. Save that.

[Luke Burbank]

See, I'm glad it kind of gets the nose up. Because one of the things that I'll also mention is that I do not play drops to introduce you that are calling you a reject. Right. Generally speaking. But the fact that you're also. By the end, you're ready to raise some hell. I feel like that kind of like saves it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was laughing from the very beginning. I'm not usually. I don't think you're trying to burn me. I think if you're trying to insult me, you'll just do that straightforward to my face during the back of your.

[Luke Burbank]

Face when you're out of earshot.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't want to tell you what joke that reminded me of that little piece of tape, but the word reject reminded me of a joke that I saw in a movie yesterday that I want to tell you about. Not the joke, but the movie. Naked Gun is exactly what everybody said it was going to be. I don't want to overblow it. I don't overblow it. I'm not saying you're going to go into the theater and it's going to be like, the best movie you've ever seen, but it absolutely delivers on what it's supposed to deliver, which is it gets you in that mood where you're laughing at one joke and then you just find yourself laughing the whole movie. You find yourself just laughing at jokes that aren't even that funny because you're just laughing the whole time we went with it was me and Veeves and another couple, and it was like one of those things where sometimes you're not laughing at a joke, but you hear your friend down the aisle laughing at the joke. So then that's making you laugh. It was just like as we left the theater. And you know, I like serious movies. I like thinking. I like coming out of a movie and then like, kind of pondering its broader meeting meanings or whatever. But I can't remember the last time I left a theater and just felt like I just laughed for 90 minutes. And that movie was not trying to say anything. Like, it was so refreshing just to come out of a movie. The only thing the movie wanted to do was make you laugh. And at times it made you laug really, really hard. And then at other times, you're just sort of giggling the whole time in the way you did when you were a kid watching the Naked Gun movies. So I hope that's not. I always get nervous giving too glowing of a review because again, I don't want people going in thinking, like, this movie is going to be the best movie I see all year. I don't know. But it definitely delivers on an update on slapstick comedy in that style. And it's been a long time since I've seen any of the other Naked Gun sequels, But my guess is this was a lot better than 33 and a third.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, I was. I haven't even seen the movie yet. I ended up getting stuck doing CBS work yesterday. And last night I couldn't go to the screening of Naked Gun that I wanted to. But, like, it's weird. Like, Becca and I have been having a rolling conversation about the film. Neither of Us have seen it. But I was trying to explain to her, like, because we saw Friendship together, the Tim Robinson movie and Paul Rudd. And afterwards, you know, she was like, what did you think of it? And I said, I'm not saying everything about that movie Friendship was like. Was perfection. And in fact, there's a lot of it that probably doesn't work or like, it's a weirdly intense movie for being allegedly a comedy. But I was like, I don't know. The last time I sat in a theater and I was laughing out loud at a movie that was. And it's not a broad comedy the way that the Naked Gun is presumably like just like you said, slapstick. But like the number one problem, one of the top things that that movie friendship had going for it was just how unusual it was for me to be sitting in a theater really, with just the actually laughing out loud. And I realized that's because I haven't been to a comedy movie in a movie theater, if you can call friendship a comedy. I haven't been to a movie that's main job is to make you laugh in a movie theater in years and years and years.

[Andrew Walsh]

So this feels so much different to me now. We might have just had different reactions to that movie. Like, so much of the humor in that movie was cringe humor. You know, friendship. Um, yeah. And because of that, like, I tend not to laugh at cringe humor out loud as much. There were moments and I think it's been long enough. We can just say that. Like, I wouldn't have to say, give away any of the details, but I will say, like the one moment that I think about that was just like straight up on its face. Hilarious was when he licks that toad and trips and what his hallucination is. Do you remember that part? Like, to me, like, he desperately. I'm just going to. I'll spoil it for people who haven't seen it. To me, this was the only part of the movie that was just like straight up knee slapping. Hilarious is he is so depressed, he just wants to get out of his mind.

[Luke Burbank]

He's in the back of like a Subway sandwich.

[Andrew Walsh]

I believe it. Oh, no, no, no, no. It's a cell phone shop. And he had gone to buy a new cell phone earlier in the movie. And the young kid who sort of like the teenager, whatever, who sold him the phone said, hey man, if you ever need drugs, essentially like, I'm your guy. Later on the movie, he does feel like, I need drugs. I need to kind of escape my mind. So he goes, he's like, you said you could like hook me up. The kid takes him to the back of the phone store that he works at, like the T mobile or what it is. And he says, here are your options. And maybe he offers him some pills or some weed or something. And then he says, or this. And he pulls out a little toad that is in like a pet carrying case. And the idea is it's one of those like tropical toads or whatever where if you lick it back, you'll hallucinate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so it is such an. It's such a ridiculous drug, right? For a guy who doesn't do drugs, I'm going to go to the back of this T mobile store and lick this. So he sits down on the. In the break room, this tiny little like storage room, really, of this T mobile store. Just like the most depressing you can imagine. Like what the carpet is like, right? That really thin industrial carpet. He sits down and he's ready to trip for the first time in his life. And he licks this toad and then he lays back and the kid's like, I'll just leave you to it. And he leaves the storeroom and Tim Robinson lays back and he's ready for his trip. And then we see his hallucination and all it is is him trying to order a sandwich in a Subway sandwich shop. And it happens to be Paul Rudd, who is the sandwich artist who's taking his order. But that's not even the joke. The joke is, it is just so mundane. He's like, not toasted, actually. No. Toast it. And then he wakes up and like, that's it. After this whole thing, he just wakes up and he's like, that was it. I was laughing so hard. Like, it was by far. For a kid who grew up watching a lot of 60s movies, loved psychedelia. Psychedelia, who loved the Doors movies and all that corny stuff, this was by far the best trip scene I've ever seen. It was so, so great.

[Luke Burbank]

It really, it caught me completely by surprise because I was. And you know, as a non psychedelia person, generally speaking, I. There's nothing that I tend to like less than like drug humor. You know, dude, I'm tripping right now. Kind of like. And you know, any. The Cheech and Chong stuff, it just kind of like when he licked the toad, I was like, okay, I wonder what they're going to do. Like, I wonder how this movie is going to portray a guy who's having a drug trip. In his mind, is it just gonna be. Is it gonna be like the weirdest Skittles commercial I've ever seen? You know what I mean? Like, I feel like all of those Skittles commercials and Starburst and whatever company, whatever ad agency got that account for a while. I feel like all of those were the inside of somebody who just licked the inside of the brain of someone who just licked a toad.

[Andrew Walsh]

Skittlepox was the most famous.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, precisely. Some weird furry animal that's kind of hard to decipher what it is doing some. But talking with a normal voice, like. And then the fact that the joke was just that it was mundane and also short.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was just so short and so mundane. And again, there was no jokes. Like he's ordering like a sandwich that you'd never. It's just him ordering a, you know, sort of slowly just being like, yeah, I guess lettuce and not toasted, you know? No, toasted. Or it's something along those lines. I only saw it that once. And then he just wakes up. And that, to me was like straight up funny. But aside from that, I felt like I was doing more like almost hiding behind my hands. Like hiding my face behind my hands. I mean, that isn't to say I didn't laugh at all. Like, the party scene is funny. Actually, the opening scene is pretty funny. But it's also the. It's so based on awkward interactions. And because I live my life, you.

[Luke Burbank]

Kind of can never unclench as you're watching it. Whereas with the Naked Gun, it sounds like you were very unclenched.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're just so unclenched. Because it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you don't like that joke. Cause there's another one potentially, literally behind it. There could be a visual gag in front of you. There's a small. The smallest joke is just that, like on the doors, like kind of classic looking cop doors with windows. It says police squad, but they have police facing one way and squad facing the other way. Like, if you're kind of coming through the door, you know how it'd be backwards because it's on glass, basically. It's never commented on.

[Luke Burbank]

You mean like our.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, like our billboard.

[Luke Burbank]

Adams County Historical Society.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Designation of the TBTL billboard, which, by the way, Andrew, is. Now I'll move the microphone prominently displayed.

[Andrew Walsh]

Between two Daytime Emmys.

[Luke Burbank]

I believe it's in a place of honor here at the Madrona Hill studio with. I will clarify our photo still upside down, which feels a little Naked Gun.

[Andrew Walsh]

To Me, it is very Naked Gun. And also, I want to give a shout out. It's got that. You got your new pencil sharpener. I am so shocked at how.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, Sarah Nichols Smith sent you a.

[Andrew Walsh]

Pencil sharpener because you were saying on the show that you wanted one is just in the corner of the frame for me.

[Luke Burbank]

And.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I was.

[Luke Burbank]

You.

[Andrew Walsh]

I sent it to you while you were in Europe and you got home on Saturday or Sunday or whatever, and you sent me a text, I think it was Sunday, and you said, he, I got the package. Thanks so much. And then almost immediately, you sent me a photo of it already installed. You know, so type of pencil sharpener you're going to screw onto something you screwed onto your bookshelf. Like, that is the type of thing where I. It's not a difficult job to screw three screws in, but that would have sat on my desk for six months at the very least before I finally picked up a screwdriver.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, Andrew, I'm a doer. That's how doers get more done. You know that I have the Home Depot theme playing constantly in my mind. I'm also a bit embarrassed because now you. And if this makes it onto the Internet, everyone can see that I am, in fact, wearing shorts.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. There is a video that went up on Instagram of yesterday's show, and you can see very briefly that I'm wearing shorts. I was like. As I was watching it the first time, I'm like, oh, shoot. Are you going to see my legs in this?

[Luke Burbank]

This is not how I wanted America to experience my gams. But I am going to show you this pencil sharpener, which again, is from our friend and TBTL pal, Sarah Nichols Smith. And it works great, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Here we go.

[Luke Burbank]

Putting the pencil in. Oh, man, look at this. Ticonderoga.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that is. That's super sharp.

[Luke Burbank]

Isn't that nice? Yeah, you could cut glass with that pencil.

[Andrew Walsh]

Keep that away from Maggie. Middle shelf. She's still got lead in her knee.

[Luke Burbank]

But the thing that I like about this pencil sharpener is it's kind of old school. And. Yeah, you're right. It's the kind that you can kind of screw down onto a surface. And that, I realized, is what actually makes the entire operation more fun than a. You know, you can buy a pencil sharpener that you hold in your hand and you just rotate the pencil. Those things are frustrating. They're. I don't know if they're more or less effective, but they're certainly a lot less fun to do.

[Andrew Walsh]

The feel of it too. It's like. It's that weird scratchy as your point.

[Luke Burbank]

And it's like, where are the shavings going? I mean this thing that Sarah gave me is like. It catches the shavings. But what I realized as I was installing it, as I was screwing it down, was when you're a kid and you're in school and you realize they just friggin. They friggin screwed this thing right into the wall. Like they screwed this thing right into like this bookshelf or whatever was on. There was something about that process that felt like. I don't know why. You know what, Andrew? It was the stability that I needed in my life as a wayward youth, as a person growing up in the confusing time that was the 1980s, intermittently homeschooled, being taught that the world could end at any minute because of the rapture. I was a kid who needed something solid in my life. And that thing was a pencil sharpener installed in Mrs. Horton's classroom, probably on a work. One of those big work tables.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, so that would have a lot of like wood. Ours were always. That's why I thought it was interesting that you screwed it to a bookshelf because ours were always on the wall. I can't ever remember one being screwed down onto a surface as opposed to onto a. What would you say? A vertical surface.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, you know, now that I'm thinking about it, maybe that was how ours were also. But like, I don't know if this one can actually do that, believe it or not. Like because of the way that the, the, the, the. What do you call it? The containment device.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm pretty sure that if you. I could be wrong. I think I have one here too. I'm pretty sure that you just have to screw it on slightly differently and then it'll hang the other way, if that makes sense. Like you. The starting point for reattaching the containment unit, I think where you just like kind of notch it down. One could be wrong, but I am having a visceral memory and may I'm bringing that up is because I've messed around with those things so much. I don't consider myself somebody who is good at mechanics necessarily, but I do think that as a kid I was obsessed with stuff like that. And so. And also I'm remembering that this might have been some of my earliest puttering. I just remember being the kid often who would be like, this thing is too full and having that really satisfying feeling of like kind of you, you turn it A half a click and then you pull it off and then it's just full. It's chock a block with other kids shavings. You're like, I'm gonna march this over. And sometimes it gets so bad it would start to pack around the top and the bottom of so full. So you'd have to take it to a garbage can and like hit it against the side of the garbage can. I wonder if that was like the earliest version of what would become me making ice in my basement freezer.

[Luke Burbank]

You making ice, slash you emptying out the vacuum bag, slash. You like any of these puttering activities? I think, yeah. You know what I gotta do though, Andrew? Sorry, I don't mean to descend.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, please.

[Luke Burbank]

Into cleaning talk. But I'm. I'm realizing before fall gets here and before we get into the heavy vacuuming season inside, I need to do some vacuuming of my vacuums.

[Andrew Walsh]

Huh.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a really satisfying, like vacuum out the vacuum. Because I have, you know, these temco little battery operated handheld guys that, that, that. I have two of them. I have one here in the Madrona Hill studio, one in the house. But you know the small kind, they're like.

[Andrew Walsh]

They're the size of a. Maybe a big flashlight sort of.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no.

[Andrew Walsh]

They're like.

[Luke Burbank]

It's, it's. It's like your. You guys have the Dyson. It's the knockoff of that. It's just like the way cheaper version of that. Which my theory was instead of paying five or six hundred dollars for an animal, which I've had before, I had one in Bellingham and I actually had one down here, I would be better off just buying like these like hundred dollar models and then just using them till they burn out. But also what I was using my. You know what I had to do with my shop vac the other day, Andrew? I had to get under my deck and I had to clean out the drainage on this mini split that I have. So you know what a mini split is? They're also sometimes called heat pumps. You see them in a lot of houses. Now the part that you'll see if you're in the house is a big rectangular kind of plastic hood vent. That is what's blowing in the cool air in the summer or blowing in the warm air in the winter. And then positioned outside the house is basically a big giant fan that's in a box. I still don't really understand the technology, but I know that they're very efficient. And I know the coal industry in The Northeast hates them, so that tells me they're good. That tells me there's something good going on with these. And I guess the way they work is in the summertime, they somehow extract the heat out of the air, and then they're pumping in cold air. And then in the wintertime, they somehow extract the cold out of the air, and they're pumping in heat. It's also why they're sometimes called, I think, a heat exchange. Anyway, the other day, I had turned on the cold air because it was really warm here. And I look over and there's just water. You know, after a certain amount of time, I look over and I realize I'm like, oh, wait, what happened over here? Did I. I was watering the plants. Did I spill some water? There's water all over the floor and on the door and the wall where this big vent is. And I realized, oh, crap, there is water coming out of this vent, which is not supposed to be happening, that any water that is created, any condensation that's created, is supposed to get routed out of that and down, like, a drain pipe, a plastic drain pipe, and then just gets dumped out kind of like down at the base of the unit, kind of into the. Under the deck area, harmlessly. I was like, oh, man. So, like, I turn it off immediately, of course, try to get the water kind of dried out. And then I'm like on the Internet trying to figure out how to fix this whole thing and go, YouTube. There was a guy that was just like, yeah, this happens all the time. Here's all you got to do. Go find the drain, the little plastic drain thing, which I located again under the deck. Get your Shop vac. Hold your Shop vac. It needs to be wet, dry, because you're going to get some water here. Hold your Shop Vac up around the drain tube. Now, the thing is, the opening of the Shop Vac, like, hose is going to be wider.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Than the. Than the diameter of this little drain, this plastic drain. He's like, so here's what you do.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you detach. You detach the tube first. Am I right about this? Are you detaching anything? No. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

No. No, you're not detaching anything because this is overly complicated and boring. But basically, there are, like, three different lines that are running from the machinery that's outside to the thing inside your house that's like. Like controlling the temperature. And those are all inside this housing that you have to put together. You actually have to buy the housing separately and then put it all together so that you don't just see these like janky hoses on the side of your house. And unscrewing that whole like kind of shell that they're in. This protective housing is a huge hassle. I was like I do not want to do that if I can avoid it. So all I did. So there's just like, there's like kind of like maybe the tiniest little driplet of water coming out of this drainage. It's supposed to be draining all of the condensation in the water. I turn on the shop vac. I. You hold your hand around the outs like the end of the shop vac and then you also hold it around the smaller drain pipe and you create suction. You more or less, yeah, you're sealing inside of your hand is sealing the whole operation. And Andrew, I swear to God I did this. And then just like a giant brown clog of dust just goes right. I could see it because the drain pipe is clear plastic.

[Andrew Walsh]

You can tell me this story every night before I go to bed.

[Luke Burbank]

It was so satisfying because it was exactly. They were like this usually happens because dust will build up or there'll be some kind of a clog and and so I see this clog clear. It was like a commercial for clearing a clog. Right. Because they'll have that like where they do the pipes but it's all visible so you can kind of see the clog moving through the system. I just see this, this brown clog of dust or whatever it was just go flying by into the shop vac and then I pull the shop vac away and just a torrent of water. And let me just tell you that was, that was extremely gratifying and satisfying.

[Andrew Walsh]

That is amazing. I love that. You know what it reminds me of this. You want to hear about kind of an old fashioned technology that genev has just brought into the house. I wouldn't even known that they make these types of things anymore. It seems like such like a 19, 1960s maybe through 80s era technology for like the, the ad would show like some sort of like sharp looking housewife who's doing things smarter or whatever. You can sort of see it like in a magazine ad and it's the, it's the, the device or these bags that you can buy and you can put your like blankets and maybe even clothes and stuff that you're storing that you don't need.

[Luke Burbank]

Scratch, bum or then you vacuum seal.

[Andrew Walsh]

You vacuum seal it. You attach literally the vacuum to it and then you turn it on now, I never had these before, but Genevieve was doing a big organizing thing because she's got a lot of extra material from her sewing projects, but, like, she doesn't need them all on hand all the time. But it was just getting out of control. And we use our bed. I don't know if you have one of these too, but the storage area underneath our bed is kind of built into our bed. You have to lift up the entire mattress frame sort of. It's like a. It's almost like Jaws sort of.

[Luke Burbank]

Is it on? Like, is it on like an arm? Like. Like, is there a. What do you call it? Like a kind of a shock?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, like a hydraulic. Like a hydraulic thing. Yeah. But you don't have to release anything. It's just kind of stiff enough that you can open it up and then close it down. It always makes me very nervous. I never want any cats in the room when I'm opening or closing that thing, because all I can think about is them being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Because it's like once you're closing the bed, it's kind of so heavy that it's just kind of like if anything got in the way.

[Luke Burbank]

Guillotine.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. So anyway, no cats were harmed in the telling of the story. But anyway, Genevieve, we just had so much stuff that was just kind of. It was organized at one point, but then more and more just like kind of like again, cloth material in blankets and pillows and all this stuff got thrown under there. And then one day, Genevieve just was like, I've got to get this under control. She goes and she buys some of those bags, and then she gets our, you know, our dusty shop vac from downstairs and just like. And it's just like. There's just something about buying a technology that you need your own vacuum to work or something. But it seems very effective, and I'm very proud of her for thinking of that.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I used to see commercials for that when I was a kid. That whole procedure, I've never personally done it, but I think it would be extremely satisfying. It'd be like. I mean, I'm not a meal prepper per se, and I don't make, you know. But the idea also of like, vacuum sealing foodstuffs for. For a later time is also. It's just something about there being a loose plastic bag around it. And now there's a totally tight, air sealed plastic bag about it. I don't know what that. Why that is so satisfying to our minds. Like, how is that rewarded by natural selection. How is it that the cavemen who liked that feeling were able to live long enough to have us and the ones who didn't like it are all dead?

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, this is.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, they're all dead, but died before they could procreate.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is breaking TBTL protocol here because I want to play a voicemail for you that we got from a listener and we're going to be doing blurs days later. So I'm not going to hang on to it for later on in the show, but it's sort of. I just feel like this really fits in the type of thing we're talking about. You often talk about the satisfying feeling you get when you peel the kind of very thin layer of protective plastic off of a new appliance. You've sort of popularized that amongst the tens.

[Luke Burbank]

It's really my greatest contribution to the.

[Andrew Walsh]

Discourse, to society as a whole. Well, Eric has a story related to that.

[Luke Burbank]

Five years ago, six years ago, seven years ago, when we moved into our place, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 50, we bought a brand new refrigerator. And one of the joys of a new appliance like that is peeling off the plastic, that plastic film that they have over the front. This is a joy of Luke's life of peeling that plastic. So peel the plastic off the one door and they go peel the plastic off the other door and it gets down to the bottom and it's like they put the plastic on before they put the. They put that film on before they put the plastic piece at the bottom of the refrigerator door. So it's like tucked into the. That little bracket at the bottom. And so when I go to pull it off, it rips and it leaves this raggedy piece of plastic film at the bottom. And so then I tried to pull it out, but it's completely like jammed underneath there and you can't get. So I pulled it out and was like trying to get it and I said, ah, I'll deal with it later. And so now for the past seven years, I keep going back and every once in a while pull, like take a little more off piece of it out. But there's still fringes of that film at the bottom of the refrigerator. It is absolutely the reverse of the gratifying thing that you normally get when you get it now. It's just a moment. It's a constant frustration in my life. So. Okay, thanks guys.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yep. Same deal with our new refrigerator. We actually at one point just to like after a year of having it, just take the We Genevieve Got a screwdriver and just took the handles off both the freezer and the refrigerator doors so that we could get to that. I cannot believe they do that. That they le the film on and then they continue to build the refrigerator. It is ridiculous.

[Luke Burbank]

It's crazy to me. I mean, one thing you could do, although this presents its own potential issue, is you could get down there with a little exacto knife and just trim it right along. But you shouldn't have to do that.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, you shouldn't.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, they what? Who are the geniuses who designed this? Who under. I mean, do they think that you. That the average American sort of refrigerator owner is going to just leave this grody film on there indefinitely? Is that what they think is going to happen? Or do they think we're gonna be okay with it being kind of, you know, again, that like, weird little mostly torn off part at the bottom? Like, what do they think? What do they think is going to happen with it? That makes me so furious.

[Andrew Walsh]

What do they think we are? Animals? It's ridiculous.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. That's what separates us from the animals. Opposable thumbs. Although I guess some animals. Are we the only animals with opposable thumbs or do. Are there monkeys that have opposable thumbs.

[Andrew Walsh]

Think that there are primates that have opposable thumbs? Yeah, okay.

[Luke Burbank]

But opposable thumbs, the use of cutlery and that we take the protective film off of our appliances, that's what separates us from the beasts of the field.

[Andrew Walsh]

And dolphins are the only animals that understand sarcasm. That's that from. It's just a fake fact that I made up years and years ago and I'm always spreading it.

[Luke Burbank]

I would believe that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you, baby.

[Luke Burbank]

It's time to thank some donors. You know, Andrew, these folks are keeping TBTL going with their donation. They also, as far as I understand, all have opposable thumbs.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. And understand sarcasm.

[Luke Burbank]

I believe they use those opposable thumbs at some point to click on a button on tbtl.net very likely during a TBTLathon, maybe even the most recent one, in order to support us voluntarily with some of their hard earned money. And that's how this thing can happen. This is 100% listener supported podcasting, by the way. Many animals, not just primates, have opposable thumbs or digits. Primates like gorillas, chimpanzees, orangutans and other apes have opposable thumbs, as do some new world and old world monkeys. Even some lemurs.

[Andrew Walsh]

Lemurs? What about sloths?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, yeah, I'm Glad you asked, Andrew. Beyond primates, marsupials like koalas and opossums also have opposable thumbs. And giant pandas have a pseudo opposable thumb. Certain tree frogs also possess opposable digits. Boy, I really, really figured it was a more exclusive club than that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thumbs to everybody these days.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly.

[Andrew Walsh]

Everybody gets a thumb.

[Luke Burbank]

You get a thumb. You get a thumb. Dan Sundberg of Seattle, Washington, gets a thumb. Thank you, Dan. Appreciate you. Also, Heidi Festin is in Brandywine, Maryland.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, Brandywine. There's a Brandywine, Ohio, where everybody goes skiing.

[Luke Burbank]

By the way, is it a mountain or like a. Just a hill. A tall hill.

[Andrew Walsh]

I never went. What is the difference in that? We had. Is it just height? I don't know, man. Brandywine, Ohio. I mean, this is getting pretty far away from, you know, actually thanking Heidi. But let's see here. Brandywine, Ohio. It's in Summit County. I don't know, man. It's got. It's got a hill.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know our places named Brandywine. I mean, presumably because you're saying there's, like, a few of them. I assume that that's somewhere they made brandy. They made. Or they made wine or something. Brandywine.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, that's sort of guess. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Heidi, whatever the origin story of Brandywine, Maryland, is, we thank you for your donation. We also thank Mary Lawrence Horley of Madison, Wisconsin. God, I miss Wisconsin already.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know. We're. I like to think that we are honorary citizens of Wisconsin at this point.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I missed the quick trip.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's not true.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't miss the quick trip.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't care about the quick trip. Did we. Wait, hold on. This is not. I'm not trying to troll you here, but did we actually go to a quick trip, or did we go to another convenience store that you were calling Kwik Trip and that made John mad because.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I was. I was on the right side of Quick Trip. I think you were calling it something else.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, because I didn't. I didn't know or care about whatever, because you guys. Because John's a Midwesterner, so he really, like, was into the proper branding of those things. And you did some stories about these types of stores. I don't care. I call them all Kwik E Marts. It makes no difference to me. Me.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I don't want to throw our colleague John under the bus or, Or. Or, you know, be negative towards our. Our Quick Trip brethren in the Midwest. It is interesting how people do, I think, in certain regions get into the mini mart or the. The chain of mini mart, slash gas stations that's local to their. Like, in. In the greater Pennsylvania area. It's Wawa people love. My cousins love Wawa. It's like. And I will say this Wawa does have way good sandwiches. Like, they'll make you a sandwich there on the spot. And. And I would put those up against a. Any of the other sandwich outfits.

[Andrew Walsh]

Maybe. That's the thing. I've never lived in a place that had really good, celebrated stores like that, like 7/11 or we had, you know, AM PMS here or 24 marts or whatever they're called in New England. But none of them are, like, special. Right?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I didn't grow up in that culture either. But, you know, in Iowa, there was a place called Come and Go, which they've. Now, I think they have changed the name, maybe.

[Andrew Walsh]

Have they really?

[Luke Burbank]

I had read somewhere that they were phasing out the name Come and Go. Oh, And. And then in. And then we get into Wisconsin, and John says, oh, they have Kwik Trip here. Everybody loves Kwik Trip. People get married at Kwik Trip. It's a whole thing. And now, you know me, I'm a little. Little. I'm a little precious with what I eat and don't eat. And I thought, oh, great. Well, if this is like a. If this Quick Trip is like a place people get married, it's gotta be like they're gonna have a big selection of cool stuff. And, like, I thought, I'll definitely be able to get, like, a veggie sandwich or something in there. Maybe a little wrap of some kind or. I don't know. Just, like, when I heard that people got married there or wrote it into their vows or whatever, I was like, oh, we have another Buc ee's situation. That's one of the places that I've done stories about. Lots of people know what BUC EC E's is. They're just these, like, really? A BUC Ees is a target that has gas pumps and different branding, but, like, it's massive. They have every kind of food you could imagine under the sun, and they have lots of people there making it fresh, et cetera. So we roll into this Quick Trip. This is our first day. We've landed in St. Paul, technically Bloomington. We're in the car, we're heading towards Friendship, Wisconsin, and. And we pull off to go to this Quick Trip. And again, no shade. But, like, I wouldn't put it in my vows, Andrew. It was an absolutely run of the mill gas station food opportunity. Like they just had some, you know, a couple of coolers with a couple of like pre made sandwiches. They had some like burger type of things. Maybe under a heat lamp maybe. I don't even know if they had that. Probably some things you could microwave in the back. They had some coffee options with lots and lots of those little single serve, like, you know, flavored creamers. Crazy flavored creamers.

[Andrew Walsh]

Got your gardettos and some Chex mix, of course.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. So like a very small little grocery area that had, you know, mostly chips and things. Nothing. I've very, very, very, very. There's no, you know, produce or anything like that, which is all fine. Like here was the thing. It was about level settings, about expectations. It's about basic human decency. Someone's been touching my karaoke machine.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. It's bigger than a 7 11. If you think you're going into a 7 11, you're gonna be like, oh wow, this is like really big. But if you think you're going into something that's like super big and special, like a. Almost a grocery store experience on the side of the road, it's not that.

[Luke Burbank]

And again, I haven't been in a Wawa in a while and so maybe it's changed. I mean it's. I've been in a Wawa in 20 years, so I could be using Wawa. No Wawa.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wow.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I'm Barbara Wawa.

[Andrew Walsh]

I do feel like you could write a song called I haven't been to a Wawa in a Waw Wah. While I could hear that as being maybe like slightly.

[Luke Burbank]

Let's get listener Joey on the case.

[Andrew Walsh]

Isn't he the guy that wrote that would be the right tone.

[Luke Burbank]

Joey, this is your new assignment. I ran into Joey at an event in Portland. We had a pop up at a really cool kind of workspace called Kiln and the band, the lowest pair played and they're friends with our friend Joey who is living in Hawaii these days, but who was at the show. And we had a fine time catching up. So yeah, I haven't been to a Wawa and what's the name of the song?

[Andrew Walsh]

I haven't been to a Wawa in a Wawa while. By the way, I want to give you a put up here or at least a confirmation here. So take it. Come and Go is still called Kum and Go. It's an interesting. They spell it K U M which is always just like somewhat off putting. But apparently in 2023 they were purchased the Entire chain was purchased by a company that owns these stores called Maverick M A V E R I K. And apparently by the end of 2025, they say that they're going to be renaming all of the come and goes.

[Luke Burbank]

To Maverick Spunkin Bounce. We'd like to thank Missy and Joe Boyle of Watertown, Massachusetts for their donation. And I just want to say it's your show. Now I see you marking the file.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't even know what to do about that, Andrew.

[Luke Burbank]

Just so you guys know, Andrew has a little. I don't even understand how it works, but he's got a little bookmark feature that when something regrettable has been said on the show, he can make a little note so that later when you does it. So is it basically when you scroll through the recording, it'll stop at the bookmark? Is that kind of like how the technology works?

[Andrew Walsh]

A little. So I'm recording. I record into a few different places. But the file that is my main recording that I hope to use every day as long as nothing goes wrong, is the recording that goes right into my computer into like a program where you can see. I can see the WAV file at all times. It's growing in front of me right from left to right. And I can see if the levels are okay or if they're getting too loud or too quiet. And so all I have to do is hit the letter M and it puts a line all the way through the. There's like a real bookmark that you can see so then I can go through and tighten things up and yeah, maybe I will have to. I didn't. But maybe you're right. Maybe I'll beep that one. I don't.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not, it's not, it's not profane.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

I wasn't going to come and go.

[Andrew Walsh]

I wasn't going to. I was, I was, I was just gonna let you finish the show yourself. That was my response.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that's how Craig Parsons of Conover, North Carolina prefers it. He's a lukehead.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

And, and it's been long advocating for just this to just be like a one to two hour monologue by me each day. So he's happy. Craig, thank you for the donation. Also, Nancy Cook is in bureau in Washington and is supporting tbtl. Nancy, thank you so much. Thanks to all of our donors today. We absolutely could not do this without you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hello and welcome to Top Story.

[Luke Burbank]

One quick little story here before we get to our blurs day messages today, which is that There is a class action lawsuit filed against United Airlines and Delta Airlines for lying about whether or not there would be a window in a window seat that people had paid extra money to actually have. As you know, Andrew, on a lot of airlines, particularly if you are not, you know, one of the top elite status people with the airline, you have to pay extra to choose your seat in advance. You generally do that now, right? Like you're at the point where you don't just kind of like show up on the day of your flight and hope that you get an okay seat.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, no, no. We talk about in the show all the time. I. Aisle seat. I'm looking for an aisle seat that doesn't have a reclining chair in front of it. Remember, I got bounced out of my. Because I was traveling alone, I chose seats all the way in the very back of the plane, which usually you wouldn't like. But I chose them specifically because the seat in front of me I knew wouldn't recline. But then they just put two other people there and said, well, we just moved you. And I didn't know that until I was getting on the plane. To me, like, I just don't understand how you can buy something and reserve something and without any warning, just the moment I'm getting on the plane, they say, we moved your seat. I was so. I was so irritated.

[Luke Burbank]

Which flight was that again?

[Andrew Walsh]

Where were you? I can't remember. That was. I feel like it was a flight coming back to Seattle from some trip maybe a year or two ago, I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, well, these folks paid extra. They say that they paid extra money for a window seat. And then when they showed up, they got in their seat and there was no window, just a blank ass wall in the plane. I have had this happen to me before. It never occurred to me that I could sue. I don't think it's ever happened to me on Alaska Airlines because of course, one, I spend so much time with them that I'm getting whatever the little status, so I get to pick my seat. And two, I just don't know if they fly on those kinds of airplanes. What I learned from this article in the New York Times, by the way, Gabe Castro Root writing in the New York Times, is that when that happens, that's because there are either electronics or it's the H Vac system that is running up the side of the airplane and they need to cover that up. And so this is one of those things where they can just like, basically, that could be a window, but we need it for something else. So instead it's just going to be a flat panel of a wall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And you know, can I ask you a question? This goes back to something you said a second ago. You said that you said something about you've ended up there before. I can't remember what you said, but I have never heard of paying more for a window seat. So that's kind of an interesting twist on this, too, because nowadays you can, you know, you used to be able to choose your seat and you didn't have to pay more for like an emergency row seat. But as they continue to nickel and dime us or more like 100 buck and 500 buck us. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Little over Barbara AARON right?

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. They'll say, wow, that's such a good public radio poll. I freaking love that so much. Kind of the Atul Gawande jokes you want to make like let's just like that era of public radio books, right.

[Luke Burbank]

With the whole thing. Noam Chomsky and Barbara Ehrenreich were holding up the entire.

[Andrew Walsh]

Anyway, of course I'll be on your show. Anyway, I've seen saying like they've, they've made more and more what would used to be just regular seat changes into upgrades. Now. That's what I guess I'm trying to say. But I've not seen it personally and maybe it's because I fly Alaska and Alaska isn't involved in this particular story. I've never seen them say, well, you're going to pay more if you want the aisle or the window, you can just choose.

[Luke Burbank]

This is what the Times piece says. Well, this is according to the lawsuit. The lawsuit says United and Delta to affirmatively describe every wall adjacent seat as a window seat, even when they do not even when they knew what did they know and when did they know it, Andrew Even though they knew certain seats did not include a window. Delta passengers may be charged more than $70 to select a window seat compared with a basic economy fare.

[Andrew Walsh]

I had no idea.

[Luke Burbank]

And United passengers may pay more than $50 to select a window seat in basic economy on domestic flights or $100 on international flights according to the schedule suits. So I don't know if it's that it's $100 for the window, but it's free for the aisle. I think what it I think what they're saying is in order to ensure that you end up with either a window or an aisle, it would be considered a preferential seat.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's such that irritates me so much yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And the other thing that this lawsuit points out, and now of course this is written from the perspective of the people who are bringing the lawsuit, the law firm that's bringing the class action suit. But the other thing that they point out is that there are other airlines that very clearly just indicate that those seats on the plane don't have a window. So it's not like every single airline does this. It sounds like according to them, this is kind of specific to Delta and to United. I think the Delta and United cases may be separate cases that Greenbaum Old Branch LLP are bringing. So I think that they think that they've struck potential gold. Like some of the lawyers at this firm are taking on Delta and some of them are taking on United, I think separately, but on the same issue. But like, I mean, it does seem like it's here. Point out other carriers such as American Airlines and Andrew, my beloved Alaska Airlines operate similar aircraft types, but they disclose during the seat selection process if a seat does not include a window.

[Andrew Walsh]

And again, I've never known of Alaska to charge more for reserving aisle or window. They will charge more to reserve a spec specific aisle. You know what I mean? A specific row, I should say, based on legroom.

[Luke Burbank]

Have you ever seen.

[Andrew Walsh]

I've never.

[Luke Burbank]

No.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, they might charge more if you're like, hey, I want this aisle because I know it has more leg room like the emergency row. But I've never. And so let's call those rows. I've never seen them charge more for columns. In other words, I've never seen them charge more for window versus aisle because I always choose aisle. I have to have the aisle.

[Luke Burbank]

But you've paid an upgrade fee for that. Or you're not doing basic saver. Saver. You're not doing the cheapest.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, yeah, this is a basic saver thing. Yeah. I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I think what they're. I don't, I don't. I'm kind of speculating here, but I think that their point is not that there's a. Specifically on the window seat, there's a little $50. And when you put your cursor over it, in order to get the seat, you have to pay 50. I think it's that in order to choose your seat you have to pay extra money. And, and whereas if you do the cheapest. Cheapest. And Alaska has this too, like, I don't know what it's called, but there's the absolute most bargain basement cheapest ticket which does not even allow you to pre select your seat. Like you show up at the airport, at the gate and then they tell.

[Andrew Walsh]

You doesn't even look people in the eye on the airplane. You have to look down the whole time. That's called the degradation. Yes, I would actually.

[Luke Burbank]

It's what I. It's the package I bought at Stonehenge.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

No direct eye contact with Stonehenge or the people who paid for the real tickets. Like, I would sooner fly on the outside of the airplane, Andrew, than show up the day of my flight and only then find out the seat they were giving me. Like, I honestly, I wish that I was. I wish that at this point in my life I was capable of going with the flow to that degree. Because it's, it's funny, like, because I do end up traveling so much and also because I talk about traveling a lot. Although I guess that's not relevant to this. But it just feels like for some reason I get a lot of travel stuff on my social media feeds, whether it's TikTok or Instagram, particularly on TikTok. A lot of people who like just are these kind of. They have wanderlust, you know, they're just like world travelers who just love to like wake up on a Tuesday morning and decide, hey, I'm gonna go to Belize today or something or whatever. Sometimes they're talking about travel deals or travel hacks. I get a lot of travel hack stuff. And like, it would be incredible for me to be the kind of person who's just like, like, hey, whatever, it's a seat on the airplane. It's gonna be five hours, then it's gonna be over. And it's, you know, this is a mere 150 instead of $500 to be able to pick my special little thing. Like, I'm so particular now and I, in my. Just my ability to go with the flow when it comes to traveling is just at an all time low. And like, I'm kind of envious of people that are just. Maybe it's just youth too. Because I can tell you this. When I was 22, I mean, I flew to Europe a few times in my 20s, I couldn't even tell you what seat I was in. Like, I couldn't tell you if I was a window aisle. If I was middle is probably middle. I didn't even care. I was so freaking stoked to be going out of the country, like for an adventure. That was a really different time in my life, I'll tell you that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, for me, I think it has to do also with Your physical size. Like, I'm. So, yeah, if you're a smaller person.

[Luke Burbank]

I was smaller in my 20s.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I. Not. Not.

[Luke Burbank]

You just fold up into a little.

[Andrew Walsh]

But you were sort saying that, like, you've lost your flexibility and where to sit because you fly so much and you're. You're used to your ways. But I also think that, like, I mean, I can't tell you the feeling I have when I'm like, jammed in some seat, especially if the person in front of me reclines their seat, which luckily has not happened to me in a while. I do think that a lot of people are just sort of getting the notice on that. I noticed that the last time I flew, there was a very, very tall man who sat in front of me. And I'm like, it used to be that if a tall person was sitting in front of you, they were. For some reason, they would tilt their. They were more likely to tilt their chair back, as if that gives you more leg room. It doesn't. It just. Anyway, I think that more and more people are like, no, that's a. That's a torture for the person behind me, because that hasn't happened to me in a while. But then sometimes I'm crammed in some seat. I happen to have weird not just long legs, but long legs from my hips to my knees in particular. So the moment I'm sitting down, it's already brushing the back of the seat in front of me. And then I'll look across the aisle and I'll just see some petition petite person sitting in, like, the middle. The middle of a row, the middle seat. And just like, maybe their legs are tucked up under them. They're sitting. They're in lotus position or crisscross applesauce or whatever. And they're just like. I'm just like, my God, that would be so amazing. And I'm always looking at the space. This makes me sound like a perv, and I am one, so it's accurate. I'm always clocking the space between people's knees and the seat in front of them, because I'm always astounded how I have none. And I just look over and people have like four inches.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I think part of this too, you're not crazy, because they have, as has been well documented, they have really cut into the leg room. So the other thing about 20 years ago was you probably were not having your knee have to hit the seat in front of you, you know? And so as they've shrunk by what seems Like a small amount. But if you do it, if you take out an inch at a time and then you do that three or four times as an airline, eventually. Andrew's knees are now pressed into the seat in front of him before they've even leaned back, you know, so that's not helping the situation. I just probably when I was flying to Italy in my early 20s and then to France on a different trip, I bet you that the actual airplane was not as cramped, which probably. Probably helped me be more chill about the whole thing. Just feel like as I'm. And this is probably just a natural part of getting older and stuff, but it's just like, did you hear me grunt as I sat up?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

This is a natural part of getting older.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

That was not for effect. Yeah, that's just what I do now. Because, you know, what I've had to start doing a lot is because there was something about when we were in England, I don't know if it was the rental car or it was the fact that we had to. We walked. We walked a little. Literally. There was never a day that we covered fewer than 10 miles on foot. Some of the it through running, some of it through walking. Some days we didn't do a run, but we just walked. We hit 10 miles, except for, like a travel day coming, I think, from England back to New York State. Every other day we hit at least 10 miles, including our final day, which was kind of crazy. We went on a run in the morning and then we stopped in Sleepy Hollow. And I told you we're walking around those graveyards and stuff. I think we got to nine point, like eight miles on our final day that we flew home. But anyway. Anyway, I don't know if that's what it was. My lower back has been a little. Not super bad, but it's just been sore. And it's been sore in a way that what I've realized I have to do now so that I won't throw it further out of whack, is I have to engage whatever core muscles I have in my stomach, which are safely buried beneath plenty of subcutaneous fat. Whatever is down there, I actually now have to flex. I don't know if you ever had this experience. I have to flex my stomach muscles when I'm getting up out of bed so that all of the work doesn't go to my lower back, because my lower back is currently not up to the task. And did you, like.

[Andrew Walsh]

You mentioned the flying and the running, but did you mention. Also, I think the Lumberjacking. That Scott has something to do with it, right?

[Luke Burbank]

It was bugging me before the lumberjacking. But I'm going to tell you this, it probably wasn't helping. Sure, the fact that I was suffering wage theft in the Hudson Valley at the hands of our friend, television's Chris Hayes. But I'm sure it'll be fine. Again, I don't like complaining about back stuff because I've been very blessed in my life that I've had a minimal amount of back pain and all this is, is just a bit of soreness and my heart really goes out to people that deal with chronic back pain. It is absolutely life destroying and so I don't want to.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's inescapable when you have it. I've had some bouts with it, but luckily I don't really live with it on a daily basis.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, it's really, really bad and I've been lucky that most of my life hasn't been marked by that. And in fact right now it's just. Although it's funny, the worst, I guess you could say back or neck pain that I've ever suffered in my life was related to travel back from Europe in a roundabout way in that right before we got on the airplane in Rome to fly home from Italy. This would have been in, in, in 2000. I'm not asking this question jokingly. Was 911 in 2000 or 2001?

[Andrew Walsh]

2001.

[Luke Burbank]

Right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Somebody has not been paying attention to the never forget bumper stickers.

[Luke Burbank]

I have in fact forgotten some aspects of it. Not the important parts, but maybe the specific year we're flying back from. The reason the 911 thing is kind of is interesting to this is just because we got back the day before 911 and it was like, you know, again, of the things that happened in 9 11, this is not even in the top 1 billion of importance. But I remember realizing that had we come, had we been traveling even one day later, we probably would have ended up staying in England for another two weeks or something because it was just. Every flight just shut down. But all that is to say I decided to wash my hair in the sink of the hotel room five minutes before we needed to leave for the flight. Why? I do not know. This was a thing I decided to do and in doing that I tweaked my neck. I just did something weird to my neck because turns out that's not how you should wash your hair in the sink of the Hilton at the Rome airport. And as we got on the flight I Was like, huh, that's something funky in my neck. I wonder what that is. And then over the course of the flight, it was. It became almost. I felt paralyzed by. By pain. Like, I felt like I couldn't move. I was very close to actually being in tears because of the pain. Not because of sadness, just because of the pain was that intense. Like, just almost like tearing up over it and asking the flight attendants if I could have like an ibuprofen. They're not allowed to give you that kind of stuff. The worst part was we had to change planes in Dallas. And like, our flight getting in was late, so we had to run. And Dallas, I just learned, actually, Dallas is a very, very big airport. Like, I mean, I learned this because it's regularly one of the busiest airports in America. It's also very large. And I remember us running, me and my first ex wife running through the airport in Dallas. And I think I've told this story before on the show. My neck and head were in so much pain. I couldn't hold my head up with my neck at this point. I had to hold my neck, like, manually. I had to kind of like use one hand to hold onto my hair to prop my neck up. I looked like Chris Kattan in movie Monkey Bones, where I believe. I don't know if his bones have turned to monkeys. I don't know what happens in that movie, but I understand it to be that his head won't hold itself up because maybe he has monkey bones. And he's. He's always like, he's. He's serving as his own exoskeleton.

[Andrew Walsh]

You must have had. It must have been a muscle spasm, right? Because that's what happened to me the.

[Luke Burbank]

First time in this is what I learned later.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's unbelievably painful.

[Luke Burbank]

It's so painful. And so just like you just can't do anything about it. And I'm running through this air. I'm monkey boning through this airport. And I remember getting home, home. And then I know it was a spasm because I. We got home and then like the next day, I think it must have been a Sunday. I remember I had. This tells you the time and place. I had all these Netflix DVDs that had come while we were gone. And I just sat in the basement and I spent like, I think I spent 24 hours on the couch in the basement just watching Netflix and not moving. And when all that was done, I remember standing up and going, going, yeah, I'm fine now.

[Andrew Walsh]

Netflix Healed me the time I had a. Like I had no back issues my whole life. Everything was fine. And then one day, it was probably around the same era. Luke early 2000s. Genevieve was living in Boston. I'm in New Hampshire, and it was a weekend. And I was spending the weekend up in Boston or out in Boston, I guess from where I was. And I remember we must have gone hard the night before and maybe we all crashed at Genevieve's apartment or something. And then the next day, me, Genevieve and our friend Paul were leaving Genevieve's like three story walk up apartment or whatever. And it was just. You're talking about how you're not supposed to wash your hair in the sink and so it was your fault. I don't think that's true. You just don't know how it's going to. To how it's going to happen. I'm sitting there. I just remember being kind of like hungover a little bit. Not feeling sick or anything, Just sort of dazed, just sort of out of it. I'm standing next to Genevieve's car. I'm standing next to the passenger side door and I'm waiting for her to unlock the car door. It probably doesn't even have power lock. So I'm waiting for her to get in the car and unlock my door or whatever. Paulie's standing behind me. And I remember it's a bright sunny day. I just remember it's bright and sunny and I'm kind of hungover. Just coming outside for the first time. It's probably noon. I probably just woke up. Woke up. And there was a very colorful fly, very kind of a big, colorful New England fly on the roof of Genevieve's car right in front of me. I remember just sort of staring at it. And then it flew into my face sort of. It didn't, it didn't hit me. Just flew away. And I was just so out of it that I just sort of like kind of kind of jumped a little bit, right? For some reason, this fly scared me. I was just like, it's sort of out of. Of it. And I was like, oh, that was weird. And then I tell Genevieve, oh, shoot, I forgot my hat upstairs. I'm gonna run upstairs and grab my hat. I'll be back down in two seconds. As I turn away from the car and I start going up her stairs again, I'm like, oh, wow, something's. Something's funny. What's going on?

[Luke Burbank]

Is this in your neck or upper back or lower?

[Andrew Walsh]

This will end up being my lower back. And I go up the stairs, I'm like, oh, something feels kind of funny. I'd never had any experience like this before. And again, I'm in my early 20s, I think maybe mid, but I think early 20s. My physical shape was mid, that's for damn sure. I'm going up the stairs, feeling a little bit funny. I grab my hat, and by the time I'm going back down the stairs, I'm grabbing the handrail. It's like 45 seconds later, I'm grabbing the handrail and going downstairs. And I come back outside and I say, you said that thing, it takes your breath away, right?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Barely talk. It's like something's wrong. And I remember, like, and telling her and Paulie, and they're both looking at me like, what is going on with you? I'm like, back, back. I can't move. And I get in the car. Somehow I think she's driving me back to New Hampshire. I think we drop off Paulie somewhere and then she drives me like, whatever it was, Was it a 45 minute drive? An hour drive? It's funny, I don't remember anymore. By the time I got back to my apartment in Concord, all I could do is barely, like, crawl into my apartment. And I spent the next day literally laying on the ground next to my bed. Next to my bed, actually. Well, I won't go into the details of this, but I know this was post 911 because I remember laying on the floor next to my bed listening to NPR and listening to some of the most horrific stories about what happened to a journalist. Where was that journalist?

[Luke Burbank]

Like Daniel Pearl?

[Andrew Walsh]

I think it was the Daniel Pearl time. Yes. Yeah, so whatever year that. It's funny how you and I can both, like, mark the exact date of this stuff based on this stuff, but it was. I remember laying on my floor and just listening to that horrific story and just being unable to move. And if you moved a little, but it's like, again, you almost can't breathe.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, exactly. That's the thing about it, is that it actually takes your breath away. And we're just describing something that. Here's the thing, people have either had this experience and they're like, yeah, we get it, or they haven't and they have no context for it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, you can't describe it.

[Luke Burbank]

It just sounds so silly if you haven't been through it. But anyway. Well, the good news is I still have just barely enough core strength to get out of bed in the morning and come do this show with you. Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, you were starting to say something when you leaned forward and then made the old man sound. I don't know if you remember what it was. And we have to. Oh, do you?

[Luke Burbank]

I do. And it doesn't matter. It just was. I was just saying that maybe it's part of the aging process that I, I find myself more brittle both literally and sort of, you know, like figuratively and literally. I'm a little more set in my ways. I'm a little more brittle. But I do think it would be good for me to try to. I don't know if airline seats are going to be where it's happening, but I think instead of making my life more and instead of controlling every aspect of my life more and more and more as I get older and, and being more and more and more particular, I wonder if it wouldn't be something that would help keep me a little bit younger and more sort of, you know, my brain a little more plastic to try to actually figure out some ways to put myself in situations where I'm not controlling everything. Because I think there's a tendency for somebody like me to just want to make sure that I'm never having any experience that isn't exactly the experience that I signed up for. But I think that's also probably something that over time does not keep one's brain and, and, and sort of spirit as flexible as it could be, if that makes any sense.

[Andrew Walsh]

And to go back to the story about the kind of paying more for.

[Luke Burbank]

The winning living get out of United.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, here's the thing. Like putting aside all of the, like, anger at airlines and everything, which. It's like we could talk about that forever. I mean, it also, it doesn't make sense because I know that all the airline executives and CEOs have cut their compensation packages down to the bone like they have.

[Luke Burbank]

Most of them are working for free.

[Andrew Walsh]

They can't cut anym. That's why they have to start charging.

[Luke Burbank]

If they have a problem.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, they're poor. I mean, they can barely afford a roof over their head.

[Luke Burbank]

And also there's no pathway for their industry to be bailed out by the US taxpayer.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's just like between a rock and a hard place. And the rock is made of gold and the hard place is nothing but diamonds. So here's what I was going to say though. So putting all of that just kind of anger aside, which is difficult for me to do, my kind of more interesting takeaway from this is what do you call a seat that is not the aisle and not the middle seat, but it doesn't actually have a window. I mean, we always call them window seats. Like, it wasn't until they started charging more for these seats that it would be a problem. You know what I mean? Usually I think of people who want the window seat. Mostly. Yes, the view is nice, but I think it's also you have a wall to lean up against and all the other things that you window seat people like. And I used to be one of you, but now I don't like feeling trapped over there. But like, what do you call a window se that doesn't have a window? What would you call that aisle? The innie.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Great.

[Luke Burbank]

There's a right way to rock in.

[Andrew Walsh]

A wrong way to roll. You can't just listen to your song. Just remember that life is number one. You can be having so much fun. Just remember that life is much fun.

[Luke Burbank]

You can be nothing but.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I'm. I'm cool with you piping up on this one. I know the first. A couple of weeks ago I asked you not to talk during the blur days, and then last week.

[Luke Burbank]

I usually respond very negatively to that kind of.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, you were kind of weird last week. You were just like, I don't know, just really in your head about it or whatever. But are you feeling better? You. You want to do these then?

[Luke Burbank]

I'm ready.

[Andrew Walsh]

All right, good.

[Luke Burbank]

This will be fun. Yeah, I'm ready to do it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Brandon on Vashon island has a blurs day wish. Happy blursday to Calder Rocket, who is turning 16 this month.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, nice.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you for enduring the hot, humid east coast college tours, Philly family, and a too small rental car with minimal grumbling and eye rolling. May the coming year bring you fun and safe driving independence, real world hangouts with friends. Friends. And enough hours slinging ice cream to help pay for your car insurance. Happy birthday to Calder from Brandon.

[Luke Burbank]

Cute Philly family. Yeah, sounds like me.

[Andrew Walsh]

I am so, so glad our team isn't in Philly anymore.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh my God. They're off today, right? Travel day.

[Andrew Walsh]

They're off today. Travel day. They play tomorrow. Home standing.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

By the way, if you have have a blurs day or a birthday wish to share with somebody, you can email me andrewbtl.net and put Blursday in the subject line.

[Luke Burbank]

Or if you have a leverage picture.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not gonna. Did you see the. I just saw this as we were talking. Not that I would ever look at any other things other than your beautiful, beautiful face on Riverside, but did you See that like Taylor Saucedo was apparently getting death threats online because I guess of a bad performance. Although it was a game we lost 11 to 2, which is like.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, but he gave up 5. They were getting close. Yeah. I didn't really follow the game much.

[Luke Burbank]

Because we come back. We'd come back a bit. We got to like yeah, 7 4.

[Andrew Walsh]

I thought we were with a. Within a run or I thought, well, you might be also confusing the games and I could be as well. I wasn't following them as closely as I should be as the Most of the game was on when we were recording yesterday. Right. But it was. I thought we were within a run and then I went it was yesterday's game.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it was the game. Did we lose 112 yesterday?

[Andrew Walsh]

We did. I think in the. Saucedo gave up five. Did that one inning yesterday. It was saucy because I came upstairs to make a salad or maybe I had a sandwich actually. Sorry to lie. I'm not trying to lie about my diet. No, I went upstairs to make some food and I heard sauceed. It was. And I'm like, oh, I can't even even. Don't be wrong. I would never advocate for any kind of direct interaction with sports figures like that, especially death threats. Obviously we don't have to say it's just so inappropriate. But also I never want to see that man's face in a Mariner's uniform again. I felt that way before yesterday. But also this is on Dan Wilson, by the way, Happy blurs to everybody. This is on Dan Wilson. It didn't make sense. We were. Because I listened to a lot of post game coverage on various podcasts. I was even listening to some bemoaning in a podcast this morning and it's kind of like why I'm not even following the games. I'm just following the angry post game discourse these days. But like why Dan Wilson also could have put in a 12th grader. And I'm not going to send in the or a 12 year old to pitch there. I'm not going to send a death threat to the 12 year old. I'm also not going to send a death threat to Dan Wilson. But Dan, what are you doing? Like literally what are you doing? He used Brash beforehand which was like oh, that's good. Finally he's not saving Brash to the end of the game and that made sense. And then he puts in like our by far worst reliever and there are other people in the pen. It makes no sense. I think that Dan Wilson is scared of success. That must be what it is. I do not understand what he's doing.

[Luke Burbank]

I have to fall back. I mean, this is what I always apply to all of these situations, which is grace, courage, understatement. No, but like this. I mean, here's the thing. I didn't watch any of these games, mercifully, like, basically like the last two games, I think I've been. We've been working or I've been doing other things and then I look up and the game's over and I'm like, oh, boy. So I can't really, I can't say specifically, but here's the thing. I know Pete Woodworth and Dan Wilson have all of the matchups and the splits and the predicted result of this pitcher versus that batter. Like, I know they have all that information and I have to believe that they are acting on what they think is the thing that gives them the best chance of success. I don't think we live in a world anymore where like managers are just kind of like, you know, they spit their tobacco and if it forms the shape of a four leaf clover, it means put in Saucedo. It's like, I just don't think it's mysticism. I think it's mostly data driven, at least supposedly. Don't you think that, I mean, Dan will. Pete Woodworth is saying to Dan Wilson, this is the best matchup we have, or we're trying to save this high leverage arm for later at this point or whatever. Don't you, don't you think it's not as hunch related as it is supposedly. Supposedly the math.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I've been. And again, I listened to a lot of the post game coverage of this on various podcasts by people who know baseball way more than me and who are like kind of stats driven and stuff. And it sounds like they're not there, there. There are different ways of looking at it. You can look at lefty, righty matchups, but you can also be way too married to the idea of a lefty, righty matchup so that you totally. Again, happy blurs day to everybody. We're Toby, we're getting to you here in a second. But like, they're also just like, yeah, but who is hitting better no matter what from either side of the plate? And that was a whole thing about yesterday as well, where they left Garver in where obviously. And I know that we don't love Donovan Solano, but there are decisions that are being made that people in the moment are saying, why Are you doing this? Are you? If I had been listening to the radio when I heard him put in Saucedo, I would have been flipping out because you followed enough to know that Spires is a fresh arm.

[Luke Burbank]

Like I didn't even know that Sauced it was still in the lineup until the other day. Like I literally forgot he was a marathon back they.

[Andrew Walsh]

He keeps on going up and down because they need bullpen help. But he's terrible. I've. I've always really. I've kind of. I just dislike him generally speaking. That viral video that everybody was like, they loved it cuz he was like. Remember he was like out. He was on the il, but he was like at home gaming on Twitch, watching the Mariners game and also playing some video game and then like the Mariners have some come from behind win and he's like freaking out in the camera saying that's why you never give up. And I'm just like watching. I'm like, why don't you put down your Xbox for two seconds, bro? Why don't you just go sit actually watch the game? I don't know. I just don't like that guy at all. And I have no idea why he was put in there and why he was left in there.

[Luke Burbank]

Are you the person behind the Instagram profile? Gilbert's goon squad? Because that's who was coming for Taylor.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, really? No. I will distance myself from that. No, obviously. Again, death threats. Ridiculous. This is sports. It doesn't matter that much. But also, come on guys. I. I seriously had today. I was just like, maybe they just are scared of success. Success.

[Luke Burbank]

Now the good news is Matt Coldtake Calkins has a headline. Why these? I'm paraphrasing. It's like why this Mariner slip will be especially costly. And I was like, there you go. You can set your watch by. When I'm down in the dumps, there's nobody who's going to come along and give me one more data point of depression than Matt Culkins.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, there's one. But you blocked him.

[Luke Burbank]

I've also blocked Matt Culkins and the criminals.

[Andrew Walsh]

Corbin in Denver says happy blursday to my most precious friend, Toby. You are simply the best and we can't wait to celebrate with you. We have not yet picked a gift to honor you. Should it be a Calvin peeing decal or a T shirt with several lines of text in varying fonts and sizes explaining your outlook on life? We love you and we'll see you soon.

[Luke Burbank]

Dude, I saw the craziest One of those shirts the other day at the gas station. So I was. I was filling up my car, and the guy that was, you know, on the other side of the gas pump was filling up his car. And it was like. It was one of those. It was one of those shirts that just got so much writing on it. But it was like, about his. About a daughter, presumably his daughter. But it's like. It's like I have a daughter who's obstinate. That probably don't know the word obstinate, but, you know, who's like, whatever, you know, outspoken and da, da, da. And it's like everything's in a different font. And it's like. And a pain in my backside. But I'm lucky to have her, and she's my best friend, and I wouldn't have it any other way. And I'm. She's my life.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's like every line out of room.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, seriously. And fonts like it. I mean, it's. It's all supposed to be like, I love my daughter, but it's just taking you through this guy's emotional journey around this kid in just the. It starts off being overly harsh about this person, and then it ends up being like, calm down a little bit.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like. But I would.

[Luke Burbank]

I would literally die without her. It's like. It's a lot of pressure on the kid.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, absolutely. What do we have?

[Luke Burbank]

Is there a name for those kinds of shirts?

[Andrew Walsh]

I think they're often referred to as shirts that go hard. Oh, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, you're right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Does that ring a bell? Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm confused about the Garver thing. Garver and Solano are both righties. I thought one of them.

[Luke Burbank]

Garver's definitely a righty, but I don't know about Solano.

[Andrew Walsh]

It says Solano's alrighty, too. Seems wrong to be. I think we should spend more time on it. Sarah in Moxie, Washington. Hey, I guess we probably have.

[Luke Burbank]

It comes up sometimes. I think Sarah may be a donor as well or has been a donor in years past. And usually when Moxie Washington comes up, we look it up. And then I start talking about the fact that Penn Jillette's child is named Moxie Crimefighter. That's usually the journey we go on.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I probably mentioned the world's worst beverage, which is Moxie Soda in New England. Sarah in Moxie, Washington. It's like Dr. Pepper, if you don't like things that taste good. So explain that. Sarah in Moxie Washington says, I wouldn't do this for myself. But hell, I don't know any 10 friends. Boy, this got real language inappropriate really quickly. I don't know any 10 friends to do it for me. I turned 70 on Sunday. I recently visited my bestie from high school and we marveled at how we got here. We wore bell bottoms, went braless and smoked pot long before it was legal. Neither of us do that now. The 70s were the greatest. Anyway, happy 70th to me.

[Luke Burbank]

That is awesome. It's awesome.

[Andrew Walsh]

Happy Saturday. That's great.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

April in Maine says I would like to say happy golden blurs day to my longest running CO bro James. He deserves all of the birthday love, especially this year because I am out of town at a non law enforcement conference.

[Luke Burbank]

I forgot about that for the whole.

[Andrew Walsh]

Week and he is home alone taking care of the kids and the cats. I'm so lucky to have him as my partner in life. Happy birthday to James Law enforcement conference. What was that all about? That was billboards outside of Ebbing. What is, what is that?

[Luke Burbank]

Three billboards outside of Ebbing, Missouri.

[Andrew Walsh]

Missouri. Yeah. And you were like, you just. You really hated that movie. And there's just one point about like why would this American cop, I think be married to a woman with an Irish accent? And I was like, I don't know, maybe they met at a law enforcement conference and you just thought that was the stupid. Sometimes she just like my neighbor down the street. Her husband's Australian. I mean, I don't know, he's got an Australian accent.

[Luke Burbank]

They met at an outback steakhouse.

[Andrew Walsh]

They met underneath a blooming under onion.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Get this going over here. All right, let's see. Oh, Christina says, sent from my iPad. Happy blurs day to me. I know my 11 probably forgot it's been a tough year, but glad you two are here for us. That's you and me, Luke. Thank you, Christina. Love me some tbtl. Well, happy birthday Christina.

[Luke Burbank]

And to Christina's partner. I'm not saying she'll remember that you forgot to blurs her because I said sit with it. Just know she may sit with it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, she's just sitting angrily behind her iPad. Elizabeth says, I would like to wish a very happy blurs day to my mom, Paula. She is the coolest mom a kid could ask for and I love her very much. Happy birthday, Paula.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, Ma Pa. It's just beautiful.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, our Utah gang is back.

[Luke Burbank]

This says happy 20th Palmers.

[Andrew Walsh]

They grow up so quickly. Luke, happy 21st birth. I'm going to start this over. Happy 21st Blursday to our wonderful daughter, Maddie. Good luck in your senior year of college. And as you get ready to move on to greater things. We love you. Love, mom and dad. Vern in Tuli. What is it again? I just had this the other day.

[Luke Burbank]

See, you're under the mistaken impression that I know how to say that place. And I don't know.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I looked it up a million.

[Luke Burbank]

Times, but I've forgotten it a million times.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know, but I think I had this just last week. Remember when you were being very shy?

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I see there's been. Yeah, I see there's been. We've had an experience with this.

[Andrew Walsh]

To Willa. It was in the background there. I knew that. Guys, I'm sorry I ruined Maddie's birthday.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I saw them kind of at. Wait, wait, don't tell me. In Salt Lake City.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, nice.

[Luke Burbank]

I saw them in the odd. They hollered at me. After the show. I hollered at them and then they. They filed out of the theater. So it was nice seeing the Palmers.

[Andrew Walsh]

I gotta. What did they. What does that folk singer say in that tape we used yesterday? I got a song I've been hollering on.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you remember?

[Andrew Walsh]

What is it? Does she say holler?

[Luke Burbank]

I think she says holler. I do believe she says holler.

[Andrew Walsh]

I got a holler I've been working on. And finally this message starts. Dear, dear Brooke baby.

[Luke Burbank]

All right.

[Andrew Walsh]

As well as being a strong, beautiful and compassionate 21st century woman, you know how to make good soup, have adventures and get shit done. The listeners have gotten very sweary, Luke. And maybe that's a reflection of how we raise them. Maybe we're getting. Maybe we're setting the wrong example. Or the right example. Maybe because I don't mind that at all. So you are great at making soup, having avengers, getting shit to done. We hope you are living it up today. Your golden blursday. Save room for cake next week. Love, Bridget and Anne. Happy blursday to Brooke and all our Blursday winners today.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, Ali. That brings to an end today's edition of. What are we calling it again? The Anarchy. Not tbtl. What were you saying? That Bean and Ali do a personal minutia segment. That's right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Minutia Without Borders.

[Luke Burbank]

This brings a close to today's episode of Minutia Sans Frontiers.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

But guess what? There will be more minutiae that is generated between now and tomorrow morning. So we will have no choice but to come back and bring you another episode of TBTL tomorrow. Hope you can join us for that. In the meantime, everybody out there, have a great Thursday, take care of yourselves, and please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to all. Power out.