TBTL Episode #4549: The Slow Cryptid Movement

Date: September 8, 2025
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

Main Theme:

This episode centers around everyday absurdities and small joys—ranging from dog-sitting tales and neighborly animal interactions, to the dynamics of catching a baseball at a game and the culture of instant internet outrage. True to TBTL style, Luke and Andrew traverse the mundane with humor and heartfelt observations, offering listeners a blend of lighthearted banter and genuine reflection.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Dog-Sitting & Aspirations for Pet Ownership

00:59 – 16:11

• Luke’s Dog-Sitting Joy:

  • Luke is dog-sitting Gigi the Standard Poodle, and reflects on how much joy the presence of a dog brings into his home:

    "Just in the like 12 hours that she’s been here with me, it’s already made... my life better." — Luke (02:33)

  • He shares nostalgia for his former dog Rudy, highlighting the deep connection and responsibility that comes with dogs versus cats.
  • Luke mentions how taking care of a dog improves his emotional outlook:

    "My whole outlook on life and the world feels improved by the presence of this animal being in my life." — Luke (15:02)

• Andrew’s Upcoming Dog-Sitting:

  • Andrew and his partner Genevieve have agreed (somewhat tipsily) to dog-sit their neighbors’ enthusiastic dog, Maggie, for two weeks in October.

    "She comes down and plops herself down into the chair across from me and says, 'Well, we’re watching Maggie for two weeks in October.' And I’m like, wow, that’s a commitment. She’s like, 'Yeah, I just drunkenly signed us up for that.'" — Andrew (06:14)

  • Andrew is both excited and anxious about how their cat Bingo will react, and whether this will cement or shake their desire to get a dog.

• Pet Philosophy: The hosts discuss what owning/looking after animals brings to their lives—routine, affection, a different level of awareness and care.

2. Pet Loss, Grief, and Connections

16:11 – 18:10

• Andrew briefly addresses the recent passing of their cat Bananas, the emotional labor of caring for a sick pet, and how deep the bond is through daily routines:

  "You end up bonding so much because you’re just constantly... checking in and where is she? Where is she?" — Andrew (16:30)

3. Luke’s Home Improvement Maximalism & The Stock Tank Pool Saga

24:52 – 37:48

• The Maximalist Approach: Luke recounts buying an 8-foot cattle stock tank to use as a pool, then the stress of storing it for the off-season. He humorously berates himself for always “going maximalist.”

  "Why do I always have to go maximalist on everything?" — Luke (27:57)

• Solving the Storage Problem: After spinning out with complex plans, Luke’s breakthrough is simply re-purposing a pre-existing graveled area in his yard—his excitement at this simple solution is clear, and he likens it to the joy of putting new sneakers somewhere visible as a kid (37:42).

4. Reveries & Reflections from Childhood

37:48 – 40:47

• Andrew reminisces about days alone, staring out his childhood bedroom window while listening to records and imagining spy adventures, linking those feelings to his own cat’s window-gazing.

  "So much of my life as a kid was just listening to music... staring out my window." — Andrew (39:10)

5. Listener Support, Donors & Podcast Business

41:05 – 47:47

• Standard TBTL acknowledgment and banter with shoutouts to listeners and their locations.
• A digression on international texting, undersea cables, and how digital infrastructure makes global communication—and TBTL itself—possible.

  "We’ve run it under the Columbia river and it’s how I’m able to get the show over to Rainier, Oregon." — Luke (49:47)

6. Baseball Fandom, Internet Outrage, and the Philly Home Run Ball Incident

50:15 – 72:24

• The Incident:

  • At a Marlins vs. Phillies game, a Phillies fan dad catches a home run ball and gives it to his son, only for a woman in Philly gear to confront and berate him, insisting the ball was hers because it “landed near her.”
  • The incident is captured on video and rapidly circulates online, with the woman (dubbed, though not by the hosts, with the pejorative “Karen”) becoming the target of Twitter torches and memes.

• Breakdown & Reaction:

  • The kid ends up with even more swag and a signed bat after the Marlins and Phillies organizations get involved.
  • The hosts are amused by the viral memes, particularly one where the woman is depicted as Gollum with “the precious.”
  • They reflect on how internet justice can quickly become excessive, and express concern over doxxing and harassment.

    "How much blast does this person need for just like being kind of a little bit much? If being a little bit much is enough to put them on blast, I would be blasted out of the friggin solar system by now." — Luke (70:00)

  • Both Luke and Andrew emphasize the need for perspective, the pitfalls of internet vigilante culture, and express empathy—reminding themselves and listeners to temper first reactions.

    "It does not make the story better... nobody needs to have to identify her, nobody needs to invade her privacy." — Andrew (68:22)

  • They point out the cultural problem with using “Karen” as a pejorative, given its impact on actual people with that name.

    "What a bummer that we have so messed that name up..." — Luke (65:02)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Pet Ownership:

  • "There's something about that level of, like, responsibility and connection to an animal that I think I really miss." — Luke (13:22)

• On Impulse Consumerism/Home Improvement:

  • "Why do I always have to go maximalist on everything? ... I wake up in the morning with, like, an idea...and then the whole day becomes about achieving that thing, whether or not it's fully considered..." — Luke (27:58)

• On Internet Outrage:

  • "The best thing that can happen if you're a kid is to have like one shitty baseball taken away from you on camera so that you can then get an obviously huge upgrade..." — Luke (62:17)
  • "My first thought was like, you better find her and put her on blast. And it's like, I don't like that that was my first impulse until I actually gave it a moment." — Luke (69:10)

• On the “Karen” Name Debate:

  • "What a bummer... someone who just has the name and has had... for 50, 60, 70 years now doesn't want to write their own name on a name tag." — Luke (65:02)
  • "I don't do that. I'm really trying to personally work on not ever dropping that name as shorthand..." — Luke (65:46)

Key Timestamps

• 00:59 – Luke describes dog-sitting Gigi, the joy it brings, and thoughts about adopting a dog.
• 06:14 – Andrew recounts Genevieve drunkenly volunteering to dog-sit Maggie.
• 16:11 – Andrew reflects on losing his cat Bananas and the emotional toll of pet care.
• 24:52 – Luke’s stock tank pool saga and solving his storage dilemma.
• 37:48 – Andrew’s window-gazing recollections from childhood.
• 41:05 – Donor thanks and amusing digressions on international texting and undersea cables.
• 50:15 – Phillies/Marlins home run ball incident is recapped and dissected.
• 65:02 – Luke shares the story of a woman uncomfortable writing 'Karen' on her name tag.
• 69:10 – Hosts reflect on the evolution of their reactions to viral scandals and the importance of restraint.
• 74:14 – Parody of the Coldplay concert infidelity/Jumbotron saga.

Summary Tone

The episode is breezy, meandering, and full of signature self-effacing humor, with moments of sincere reflection on loss, responsibility, and empathy. Luke and Andrew approach both personal anecdotes and cultural phenomena with curiosity and wit, embracing the joys and ridiculousness of “the slow cryptid movement” that is everyday life.

For Those Who Haven’t Listened

This summary covers the arc and flavor of the episode: expect relatable folly, warm camaraderie, a dash of internet culture critique, and plenty of digressive, affectionate storytelling—plus a reminder that sometimes the biggest dramas are just about dogs, pools, and who gets to keep a baseball.