Andy (2:01)

Oh, ma pa.

Luke Burbank (2:03)

It's just beautiful. We're having a lovely day here, so hopefully that will continue. I know things are going to continue on in the what the preferable fashion when it comes to podcasting and when it comes specifically to this podcast. Because here we are, folks. We've made it to episode 4549 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. It's gonna be a good one. On this Monday, I'm In a good place emotionally. Why? Because I am dog sitting again.

Andy (2:31)

I say, what's up, dog?

Luke Burbank (2:33)

I'm watching Gigi the Standard Poodle. And you know, I brought her home last night from Portland and I don't know how many days she's staying this week, but I can just tell you that just in the like 12 hours that she's been here with me, it's already made, it's made my life better. I'm loving it. It's very fun for me to be taking care of a dog. My dog. Ilogical clock is. It's pounding, it's beating, it's doing whatever a dog logical clock does when it says we want to get a dog. Everybody calm down. I was at a livewire thing yesterday and ran into a number of tens. Ran into our pal Lynn Pham, of course. And also Dana and Ron were there some listeners from Corvallis? And Dana said something like, when you got bubbles, we all knew that was a bad idea. We're so grateful for Becca for taking care of Bubbles. So Dana, calm down. I'm not literally going to adopt a dog this week, but I'm just saying that the thought, the thought is somewhere in the back of my brain. Also, there was a baseball game recently where a dad grabbed a home run ball. He gave it to his kid. I think it was his kid's actual birthday. Kids and fantasy. And then a woman ran over and grabbed the ball back. Well, really what she did was sort of berated the father into giving her the baseball back because she said it was hers. And now the Internet is coming for this Phillies fan. Welcome to the Internet. So we'll talk about that. And oh, speaking of balls, he's our very own fireball.

Andy (4:07)

Fireball.

Luke Burbank (4:08)

He's also the longest running cobra of the show. Maybe best known for his depiction of the tall ships. He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

Andy (4:16)

Good morning, Luke. Thanks for that introduction.

Luke Burbank (4:18)

As did I surprise you.

Andy (4:20)

I'm just speaking of balls. I didn't have that on the bingo sheet today as far as introductions, but I, I guess it's. As a pro.

Luke Burbank (4:28)

I was trying to transition from the baseball conversation to the fireball drop. I do know it has a little, you know, that could have a sort of a certain, I don't know, entendre to.

Andy (4:38)

It took me, took me on a journey for real. I mentioned to you before the show that it's interesting that you're dog sitting this week because I have some of that on the horizon. For me as well. Oh, really? Now, this went down. So I was playing video games on my computer late on Friday night, very late, and Genevieve was out karaoke ing. Ah. Oh, karaoke.

Luke Burbank (5:08)

Okay.

Andy (5:09)

Yes.

Luke Burbank (5:10)

Okay. I was getting some. I was getting some photos from the Vibe from our friend Camaro. Kel.

Andy (5:16)

Ah, yeah, that would be the.

Luke Burbank (5:18)

This is all.

Andy (5:19)

What were the photos of?

Luke Burbank (5:20)

They were photos of some of the, like, OG Mandarin Gate folks, like our friend Dex and also our other little buddy whose name is eluding me at the moment, Arnold.

Andy (5:34)

Does it start with an A?

Luke Burbank (5:36)

It does. Yes, but it's not Arnold.

Andy (5:38)

But it's not Arnold.

Luke Burbank (5:39)

One click over.

Andy (5:40)

Yes, he's a sweetie. Yes.

Luke Burbank (5:41)

And it's not Armando, but it's like it's somewhere between Arnold and Armando.

Andy (5:45)

Yes, but people. He walks into that bar and everybody basically norms him.

Luke Burbank (5:50)

His name is Norm. But no, first of all, he smells great. Have you noticed? Yes, because he's definitely deploying. He's deploying cologne in a very effective way. And he's just a little sweetheart. And anyway, those guys, I guess, have successfully made the transition from the Mandarin Gate to. To the Vibe, because I was getting pictures of Kamaru Kev posing with them. Kind of one of those Wish youh Were Here sorts of things. And now it's all fitting together because my guess is that Genevieve was maybe also in attendance.

Andy (6:14)

Yes. And so I didn't. I think I walked her over there. I made a little stop at. @ sag. Twisted teas. No. Bought myself some ingredients for the poor man's chicken parmesan that I came home and made later that evening. Anyway, so I don't. You know, I didn't do that. I stayed home. I was playing on my computer. And then it was pretty late because Genev home from the bar. But I hear through the window that's right behind me, the window that is behind me in my office faces our neighbor's house, like our next door neighbors. And I heard the neighbors talking, and I thought I heard their dog Maggie out there as well. You know, just like subtle things like the telltale sign of, like, a jangly collar or something like that. Sort of got the impression like, oh, they must be home late and are playing with the dog or something. But then the voice, one of the voices sort of sounded familiar, and I realized, oh, that might be Genevieve talking to our neighbor over the fence and. And talking to Maggie the dog. And we love the dog Maggie over there. And so does Bingo. Bingo's sort of obsessed with her. She's a little scared of Bingo, our cat. But anyway, then Genevieve. I hear Genevieve come home. Moments later, I'm like, oh, that was Genevieve. I must have heard outside the window. And she comes down and plops herself down into the chair across from me and says, well, we're watching Maggie for two weeks in October. And I'm like, wow, that's a commitment. She's like, yeah, I just drunkenly signed us up for that. I'm like, yes, you did, sweetie. But I think it's good because we're talking kind of seriously about, know the next animal we bring into the house is unless something really changes our mind, it's probably going to be a dog.

Luke Burbank (7:44)

And I thought you were going to say chinchilla.

Andy (7:46)

I was going to say chinchilla. But then Genevieve's like, I'm allergic. I'm like, you can get those chinchillas that don't have the same dander.

Luke Burbank (7:52)

No, they have those long, hard.

Andy (7:53)

Look, the Beatles. Yeah, she's a hard no on that. So, like, okay, we'll get a dog. But anyway, so I. So I. I'm like, you know what? Like, we kind of need, like, Maggie, the dog next door is a sweet, sweet dog. She's still. I don't know how old she is. I'm gonna say three or younger. She still seems to have kind of a lot of energy. Like, a lot of puppy kind of energy. Bingo, our cat, they really do have a bit of a relationship because Genevieve will take Bingo on walks around our yard, and sometimes they will kind of talk through the fence a little bit or sort of touch noses or whatever. But Maggie's getting kind of more and more a little. I don't know if obsessed with Bingo or whatever, but he almost scares her a little bit. She gets really excited in her tail, and she kind of, like, backs away. And Bingo pretty much just kind of holds his ground and kind of looks at her sort of curiously. But I'm kind of interested in seeing.

Luke Burbank (8:39)

Seeing.

Andy (8:39)

And I don't know exactly what the shape of this dog sitting is going to look like. I don't think Maggie is going to be spending a lot of time over here. We'll probably be more watching her over there. I'm not exactly sure the ins and outs of this yet.

Luke Burbank (8:50)

You should bring her to your place so she's not lonely.

Andy (8:52)

Well, no. I mean, that's got to happen. I don't think. Well, again, I don't think Genevieve was thinking through all the ins and outs of this when she made the agreement.

Luke Burbank (9:00)

Post karaoke at the Vibe wasn't the highest level of cogitation a person could.

Andy (9:04)

Do, but we'll work it out. Like, I don't mind it, though. It's kind of like, you know, we got to figure this out. We'll have a little challenge in October. Figure out, like, kind of the living situation. Because you're right. Like, I don't. We're not going to stay over there. And usually when you're dog sitting, you have to stay at somebody's house. You don't leave the dog overnight like a cat. So we'll probably actually, yeah, I guess we will probably bring Maggie over here and maybe divide. We can separate the basement from the top part of our house with these doors we have. So they're called doors. So doors. Now look into it.

Luke Burbank (9:32)

Never figured you for a doors haver.

Andy (9:35)

So anyway, yeah, we're gonna. I. I'm a little bit like, I'm a little bit like. This is gonna be kind of a challenging couple of weeks because again, she's.

Luke Burbank (9:41)

Why do you think it'll be?

Andy (9:43)

Because I do the puppy energy. I do think the puppy energy is going to be something because. So Hannah, my friend Hannah Brooks Olson, who I do Spotless with, brought her dog Lola over here when we recorded an episode of Spotless a few weeks ago or a couple months ago. And Lola's really chill. Lola's a really chill dog. But when she sees Bingo, she gets a little excited and kind of. Then they kind of have a little bit of a standoff. But Bingo would not take his eyes off of her the whole time. We had to leave the door open to the podcast room so that Bingo could be right outside. And it had a friendship vibe to it. And once Lola was sort of done playing, she was like, I'll just sit here and, like, then Bingo can keep his eyes on me. And I could see, like, if they had more than just two hours to hang out, I could see them snuggling at some point, you know, or at least like coexisting in a very, like, familial way. But I do think that Maggie's going to be coming in with a little bit more energy right off the bat and is a little bit of a bigger dog. Not that much bigger. But she'd be the. She'd be at the high end of a medium sized dog, I would say, or the low end of a bigger dog. So I'm a little bit like, wow, there's going to be a lot of energy to bring into our home for. And then, you know, and then kind of go back and forth. And I don't know if we're going to leave Maggie out. They have a yard that's fully fenced in, so she's able to kind of like roam over there. So anyway, we'll be picking up some big dog poop. Something that I have always avoided in my life as a non dog owner. But I'm going to be figuring it out and who knows, maybe it'll break me. Maybe it'll just make us say, you know what, maybe we're not dog people. But I'm excited.

Luke Burbank (11:12)

No, I think it'll be the opposite. I think you are going to. Like I was saying at the beginning of the show, like, I. Because, you know, I used to have a dog, Rudy. Rudy lives in Bellingham now still with Carrie. And having Rudy in my life was like a literally, like every hour of every day that I was home, Rudy was in some way connected to that experience. Whether it was like, I'm doing TBTL and she was just conked out behind me, as Gigi is currently conked out behind me. I just sent you a photo. Or going on these long walks or just being in the home environment and having a dog. And again, you know, I love cats, too. I really love cats. Love Bubbles. I wish that there was a way for Bubbles to be out here without me being panicked all the time that if she were to get out even once, we might never see her again. But, like, there's something about the way, in my experience, the way that dogs are kind of, I don't know, this way they interact with humans that, that, like, it's a more primary thought for me having a dog in the house than having a cat is because sometimes cats will be a little bit, you know, private. Maybe they'll go off and do their thing. They're not depending on the cat. Now, Bingo's an exception. But, like, sometimes cats will just kind of like, just go do their own thing and leave you alone. Dogs in my experience are less that way. And also, like, with the dog, you've got to make sure, like, when did the dog go out the last time? What's the dog's going to the bathroom status right now? Which is something I'm constantly thinking about with Gigi. Like, I woke up this morning being like, I should get up and I need to take her out because I don't want her to be uncomfortable. I don't want her to have been holding it in all night, et cetera. And there's something about that level of, like, responsibility and connection to an animal that I think I really miss. And I forget that I miss it until I have it again in my so just like even just getting home last night and watching the Seahawk game and being so by the way, on that whole thing, I somehow did the seemingly impossible, which was went all of yesterday without accidentally finding out if the Seahawks had won or not. Now I had a livewire event down in Lake way far away. I don't even know exactly the town, Dundee, Oregon or something, at this winery domain Drew in. It was really fun, by the way, thanks to everybody who came out to that. But it meant that the whole day I was going to be out in the world and I was going to be actively trying to not know about the Seahawk outcome because I wanted to tape it. I wanted to come all the way home and then I wanted to watch the game and have that experience of, of, of kind of, you know, just not knowing. And somehow I did it. Of course, I was ultimately quite saddened by the fact that they didn't win. And it was 11:15pm which is kind of late for me. And basically, like I said, it was the, it was the worst kind of outcome for that because what it meant was I was totally incommunicado all day. I stayed up later than I normally do to watch, to then be furiously mad sad at 11:30 at night. Essentially. Like it would have been better if I would have accidentally seen the score and oh, they lost. Okay, great. Well, there's. It's four hours of my life I don't have to waste on this game. And it was a very close game. It literally came down to the last minute.

Andy (14:02)

So it was just.

Luke Burbank (14:03)

But I was pretty bummed about that. But you know what I did after that? I went and Gigi and I went outside and I'm not gonna lie to you, we both urinated Andrew in the yard. That's what you get to do when you live in the middle of nowhere. And we came back inside and I made sure that she had some food and water and she did something that she hasn't done before. Usually when she has stayed over, she likes to go upstairs. Like, my where I sleep is on the main floor of the house. She likes to go upstairs and kind of have her own little private hangout up there and just kind of like, I think she sometimes takes her a little while to get adjusted to be being here with me or whatever. Well, the upstairs is getting Sheetrocked right now. There's all kinds of dust and debris. She can't go upstairs. So I had that door closed, and so she was kind of like when she got here. And I would be, you know, like, yelling at the officials in the football game for calling what I thought was a completely BS Roughing the passer call on Leonard Williams. He's a big man, Andrew. If Leonard Williams shoulder pad brushes you, you're gonna fall down. If you're Brock Purdy, it's not an indication of forethought and malice. But anyway, as I'm yelling at the officials and stuff, she's kind of going over to the door upstairs, kind of being like, hey, could I go upstairs now? And I'm like, I'm sorry, buddy. You just can't. It's all construction up there. So then she comes and hangs out with me while I'm watching the game, which soothed me. And then she came, and for. This is the first time she's done this. She slept on the rug right next to the side of the bed that.

Andy (15:23)

I sleep on in my bedroom.

Luke Burbank (15:25)

And she's, like, the quietest. I've never heard this dog bark. She just is, like, a very. I mean, she's in here right now. You can hear. She just has no. Like, she has no. She just does not. Does not make a lot of noise. But all night, she just slept next to me on the rug on the floor next to where I was sleeping. And then I got up this morning, and I looked over. I said, hey, you want to go to the bathroom? She just popped right up, put the leash on, went outside with my coffee this time, only she peed in the yard. It's daylight. I decided to use the actual bathroom. And then we went down to the lake this morning, and then we went on a jog around the lake. And I just, like. I have to say, like, my whole outlook on life in the world feels improved by the presence of this animal being in my life. Now that I'm not gonna go get a dog right now, everyone can calm down. But I definitely look forward to the day when I can have a dog again. That's all I'm trying to say.

Andy (16:11)

Yeah, I. Bingo. Has been pretty. Has been pretty snuggly lately, too, which is nice. I didn't mention on the show, but you know that Bananas passed away a couple of weeks ago, and a lot of people know that because Genevieve posted it on Instagram. I just don't want to talk about it too much, but it was interesting to see, like, how you talk about the energy that goes into looking after a dog and it is true. Like, you don't have to take Cats out to go to the bathroom. But especially since Bananas was so sick for so long, so much of our day. I mean, listen, Veeves and I are also two people without kids and two cats who we love dearly, or two cats at the time. And so a lot of our energy does go into, like. I mean, we would have whole conversations like, oh, you know, bingo. Sat in a different place today. It was, yeah, like, that would just constantly just like, oh, yeah, he's his usual chair. He's in his other. You know. And then when Bananas was really sick for the last six months, it was like, constant care. You know what I mean? Like, we're constantly like, is she eating this now? Like, what will she. What won't she eat? And, like, in a certain way, you can think of it as. It's kind of a pain in the ass. You're just constantly, constantly observing, like, did she eat this? How much did she eat? Okay, maybe we move around to this. Is she turning her nose up? And then that's just the eating thing. And there's other aspects to caring for an animal, too, but in doing so, especially in the last days of her life, you end up bonding so much because you're just like, constantly. Even more than us as a couple of pet freaks, you know, more than us. You're just like. It's a. It's a type of love, right? Of just like, constantly checking in and where is she? Where is she? And so it's kind of a bummer. Every now and then you see something. You're just like, oh, you see a door open, you're like, oh, don't close that door. Bananas is in there. Like, oh, shit. She's not. She's not. Yeah, probably so. Whatever. So I do sort of know that feeling that you're talking about when you're just, like, so in rhythm with an animal that you kind of have to be. Now, again, like, I like dogs. I think there are dogs that will, you know. Well, I've always wondered about me. Like, I'm also lazier. Like, I don't know. Like, will it be kind of like, well, I gotta go, like, go out and, you know, and you and I are different people. Who knows? I know that you love it, but.

Luke Burbank (18:10)

A dog, A twisted tea summer evening I'm seeing. I see happiness for you.

Andy (18:16)

Well, it will be interesting, though. I do. And again, I want to say this in a way that, I mean, I don't think that. That our neighbors even know I Do this. Or at least I don't think so, but I don't. I love Maggie the dog, by the way. I love. I love them as neighbors, and I've said that before on the show, and I love that I reach over the fence and I pet her and everything. But I do think, as somebody who has not had responsibility for a dog before, I could see her being kind of a challenge. Not. And again, not even her being a bad dog, but, like, will that type of dog fit our lifestyle for a couple of weeks? And so it could be like a. It's not necessarily the worst outcome if I decide, wow, that was exhausting, and we're not ready for that. You know what I mean? I think it'll be a good. It'll be a good experience.

Luke Burbank (19:00)

This will be so unsurprising to you or the listeners who know the way my brain is wired. But, of course, this is how I was thinking about things this morning. So Gigi and I are down at the lake, and we're kind of jogging, and she's pretty into it. And then what do you think my brain starts doing in this moment? Like, I start basically going, well, whatever dog I get, again, I'm not getting a dog. Everyone ever. Don't worry. But when I do get a dog, like, well, it's gonna need to be a dog that likes running, because I really like being able to. Which really wasn't something that Rudy. Rudy was not. I would take her to the track, and we might do a few laps, but Rudy liked to do long walks. She was not really, like, into running, but I was like, I would love to get a dog that likes to jog with me, because that would be healthy for me. It'd be healthy for them, but. So I'm jogging with Gigi, but then I'm like. But also has to be a dog that doesn't shed. And then my next thought was like, is there someone out there breeding a dog that doesn't shed, that can run? Like, you want to talk about the opposite of adopt, don't shop. I was literally like. I was like Jeff Bezos thinking about his next wife, who's just like, can we genetically engineer the perfect dog that will run with me but won't shed and that will look good in an Eames chair? Like, what an absolutely ridiculous way to think about pet ownership.

Andy (20:19)

My next. I don't know who my next dog is going to be, but he's definitely going to be grown in a lab. I know that.

Luke Burbank (20:24)

I know exactly. It's going to Be. I'm going to buy him from that guy who's spending a million dollars a year to try to reverse the aging process. Remember that dude?

Andy (20:31)

Yeah. He's like, whatever. Speaking of, for some reason this doesn't make sense. My brain just thought of you and like, seeing like the perfect trendy dog on Instagram that doesn't shed and likes to run that you. You're buying it, then you're trying to return it the next day. What happened with those. What happened with those three? Because there. No. No two big suitcases that you bought. Is that saga over? It was three. Okay. You got your money back and they accepted the return.

Luke Burbank (20:57)

I just, as of last week, got the email from the Monos company that my card had been refunded. Andrew.

Andy (21:03)

Wow. It happened. What did you. At the lowest moment, what did you think the possibilities were of like, you know, the probability percentage wise that you.

Luke Burbank (21:12)

Would actually, I thought it was at best.

Andy (21:15)

That was at best 50.

Luke Burbank (21:16)

50 kind of seemed like. Because again, the problem wasn't for people that didn't catch that whole narrative. You know, I, the, the. The thing was I had to send all these. I bought these three suitcases that I immediately knew I didn't want. They were not the ones I was actually trying to buy. But the problem was, in order to get the refund, I had to send them back to the company, the company that had been pretty unhelpful in the customer service arena. So now they were just going to have the suitcases and all I was going to have was what, a stern email that I could send them saying, good sir, where is my refund? Like, I had no leverage in. And that really made me nervous because they didn't seem like an overly communicative company. But I will give them credit for as much as I was roasting them. They did eventually, I guess, you know, the suitcases were. Were inspected and they were deemed to be returnable. And although I haven't gone and looked at my card to see if the money went back on, but officially, according to them, they have refunded my money for those three things. So. So that was kind of a, you know, that was a good outcome.

Andy (22:15)

That's good. Although, I mean, again, and you can be generous in describing their service and say they were generally unhelpful or whatever, like, but that's because you had a positive outcome at the end. Like, the way they treated you is pretty atrocious, I think, as far as the communications are concerned. Like, I guess I got to remember and you got to Remember that? You did. It wasn't their fault. You did click the wrong thing and order the wrong thing. So that was the first thing. But if they just say we don't have a return policy, that's it. That would be infuriating, but at least it would be a return policy and it's stated and it's over and now you got to figure your shit out. But there was something about the very end when you told me that they said, send a photo of the boxes because you never unboxed them and you just sent them a photo of the boxes as they came into your life. And you sent it back and they said, well, we don't know if we can return those. It looks like there's some damage to the boxes.

Luke Burbank (23:10)

And it's like, well, somebody said, you.

Andy (23:12)

Sent that to me that way. Why would it be okay for you to send it to me and then say, oh, this is damaged goods?

Luke Burbank (23:18)

Well, I thought I was talking to an AI program until like Ron or whatever his name was was like, it looks like some of the packing tape is damaged on the box. And I was like, oh, okay. Well, you are a human. And by the way, you petty as f. Yeah, right?

Andy (23:31)

Yeah.

Luke Burbank (23:32)

Not only are you a petty ass human.

Andy (23:33)

Yeah. They don't make AI Is that petty?

Luke Burbank (23:36)

What are you doing? Like, AI is not able to zoom in and go like, is that packaging tape compromised? It's like, dude, calm down. I'm trying to send these things back to you. You will never, you will never get luggage returned to you that is more pristine than this because it has never been taken out of the box. But anyway, yeah, so that, that, that worked out, which was kind of a relief. I also had a. I was wondering if there was. There's no value in talking about this today on the show, Andrew, because one, it's like, unless you had been to my house and you'd scoped out these things, there would be. You wouldn't have any idea really what I'm talking about. I'm putting myself in the place of the listeners now. This is just me talking about random shit in my yard that's kind of hard to visualize. And there's not really a power out to this story and whatever, but I'm gonna tell the story anyway. So on Saturday, actually I guess it was Friday afternoon, I was going ham on yard stuff stuff. And I have. I told you I bought that like big, like 8 foot in diameter by 2 foot deep cattle stock tank. It's, you know, it's basically meant for like, if you have, like, acreage and you have cows or, like, livestock living on your farm, you fill this thing with water and they drink water out of. It's enormous. But people have started using these as, like, kiddie pools.

Andy (24:52)

And they planters, too. I think you see them a lot as planters, right?

Luke Burbank (24:56)

Well, yes, but maybe not the ones. Yeah, yeah. Because actually a listener sent us some examples of that. And those are also. Yeah, those are. Those are from the same family of products. But of course. And this gets into Andrew, I. The part of why I didn't want to talk about this, because I feel like so many of the conversations I have about home improving or whatever it is I'm doing to my house always land at this place of me not fully considering what I'm about to do. I wake up in the morning with. I wake up in the morning with, like, an idea of what I want to do. And then the whole day becomes about achieving that thing, whether or not it's fully considered or. I've really thought through all of it. And so I woke up. It was going to be a really hot weekend. This was a few weeks ago. And I woke up in a mood to get one of these giant circular thingies and fill it with water and float in it, by the way. I did that and I floated in it and it felt great. So that's the good news. And also, there's all. People get really into tricking these things out. Like, you can basically hook up an actual pool filter to them so that they actually. The water stays pretty clean and. And people even heat them and stuff. I probably wouldn't get to that level, but people really turn these into a little kind of shallow waiting pool that you can kind of float in or whatever. It's pretty fun to watch all the YouTube videos of people tricking these things out.

Andy (26:08)

And just to be clear, you bought this about, I'm gonna say, three weeks ago maybe, and used it a couple of times?

Luke Burbank (26:14)

Well, I used it a lot with my parents. That's the crazy thing. My mom and dad really dug this thing. And so when they were staying here for like a week a couple weeks ago, and it was still really warm at the end of the day, the three of us would sit in lawn chairs in the pool because it was actually kind of cold. Right? So, like, if you being all the way in the water was a little brisk, but if you sat in a lawn chair in the water, it was like, perfect because it was like your legs and maybe a little bit of your butt was Getting wet. But just like. So imagine me and my two parents in their 70s, my dad just friggin absolutely tearing his way through a cigar, my mom wearing what I'm going to be honest, was not a tank top. That was more see through than I wanted it to be, let's be honest, after a certain amount of getting in the water. But anyway, that's the seat. I'm sitting there with my parents and it was actually kind of lovely. We sat out there, I bring out the speaker, I put some Neil Young on the old Pandora and so we probably. I probably have sat in that pool a total of six times, maybe three times with my parents. But I have. So I bought it, whatever it's like. But now it's like the seasons are changing and I'm like I need to get this thing out of here because I don't want just to be sitting in the yard killing the grass and also just like turning green and scummy all winter. Like. So now the thing is I don't know where to put this thing because it's like a giant aluminum disc that's kind of big and I'm like, there's nowhere in my yard where I can roll this to that. It's gonna not blow away. And now I'm going into this whole mode of like being mad at myself. I was like, I didn't need to buy the eight foot one of these I could have. There's a six foot one and the six foot one is just so much more manageable and like why do I always have to go maximalist on everything? Why is it that like why did I not ask myself? The follow up question to buying this was okay, what are you gonna do with it when it's the rest of the year when it's winter time and you don't want to be using this. And of course I have the most gigantic one which is like, there's nowhere to put it like. And so anyway, I've been like trying to figure out a plan. One plan was I was going to wheel it on its side. Like imagine like I'm rolling a giant bagel and I was going to basically use ratchet straps to attach it upright to the side of the deck, kind.

Andy (28:31)

Of underneath the deck a little bit. That's what I was picturing.

Luke Burbank (28:33)

But not even under because it's too big to go under the deck. Andrew feet.

Andy (28:38)

So I kind of like this idea. It's kind of tidy. At least it's not killing the grass and it's the off season. It's the winter. Winter time where things, you know, you have a boat, you got to put a tarp on it or. I don't know anything about boats, but you know what I mean? It's like, okay, it's not a thank you.

Luke Burbank (28:53)

I literally just put a new cover on the boat. So you're more right than you could have known.

Andy (28:57)

Just like that. I earned my boating license.

Luke Burbank (28:59)

Yes, sir.

Andy (29:00)

You need a tarp or something in the winter. Give this man a license. Captain Andy over here.

Luke Burbank (29:04)

Honestly, I was less qualified when I was out crashing that other boat.

Andy (29:07)

Anyway, I can sort of see this. I understand why you wouldn't want it there all the time, especially not in the summer months. But it's sort of a convenient. And like. Like strapping it up there. Just as far as me liking things to be orderly. I understand where you're going with this.

Luke Burbank (29:19)

I was kind of excited about the ratchet straps, too, because I was going to get these eye hooks. So basically there's these, like, support posts that hold the deck where. Where it's supposed to be. And I was going to roll this thing and. And then place it up against those support beams and then run these ratchet straps between them and then ratchet it down. And I thought it was going to be very satisfying as I was tight, as I would tighten it down and this thing would become more and more snug. Because the other problem is things are windy up here. And if I didn't have this thing very, very, very tightly controlled, I could imagine waking up one day and just seeing it rolling down into the Columbia River.

Andy (29:56)

Because it got Donovan. It caught the wind.

Luke Burbank (29:59)

Precisely. And it is an enormous sail, essentially. Like, it's a big, light, metal round thing that if it gets caught by the wind, it's going to be gone.

Andy (30:09)

I think about those fences when you see, like, the construction fences around town or whatever, because there's always these big construction projects. They put up those fences and then up tarp so that you can't. Like, everybody can't just stand and look at the work site, but they always have to put holes in there, right? Because I always think if there weren't holes in there, that would just be a big sale and the whole thing would just go flying away.

Luke Burbank (30:30)

So I'm standing around and I'm like, I'm about to actually go to Home Depot. And. And this is where this gets so complicated. And I'm sorry that this is so boring, but basically, the plan. So this was the plan that I hatched to deal with and again, this has to do with me constantly trying to create scenarios, cozy scenarios or fun or relaxing scenarios that will happen in the future that will make me feel a certain kind of way. And one of those things that I recently hit upon was I have this big giant ass metal pool thing. I've also got a little fire pit, one of those like solo stoves things. And when, when me and my dad first started working on this house and there was none of this other folderal, there was no deck, there was no hot tub, there was none of this fancy shit, there was just a yard and me and my dad and this solo fire pit and by the way, bubbles on a tether. And we used to sit out there and burn off some of the wood that we were like pulling off of the house. And it was so lovely. I almost weirdly miss those days, which is very strange to say because so much time and money and energy has gone into making this place into something else. But I kind of missed those early days of me and Walt and we're making a little fire on that solo stove. So this was my big idea idea. There's this little area in my yard, it's kind of by where the deck is, but it's an odd little bowl shaped thing that got created by reterrasing part of the yard. And my idea was I'm going to turn this into where the pool lives in the summertime. But then we roll that out of there and then where the fire pit goes in the winter time, it's going to be a multi use space and I'm going to put up some of those little Edison bulb lights. And when people come over in the fall and it's kind of cold, we're going to bundle up and we're going to go sit down by this fire pit and we're going to make a fire and it's going cozy and it's going to feel, and I'm going to feel happy and everyone's going to feel happy and life's going to be okay. And then in the summertime when it's hot. Imagine that. But with the swimming pool, somehow this became this huge thing in my mind. And anyway, so on like Friday, I'm standing around, I'm looking at this and I'm, I'm, I'm placing a call to my concrete guy Richard to get over here and give me a quote on pouring concrete down there. And I'm just like, and I'm thinking about, well, could I build a shelter down here too? Because like maybe if that, that like, could, could be. I'm like, I'm basically spinning out in this way that I spin out where I go from having a germ of an idea to like marshaling all of the forces that I know of all the different subcontractors to get this thing happening and rolling so I can create some crazy scenario which may or may not end up even being what I want it to be. But it's like I have this compulsion to do shit like this. So I'm literally like about to text the concrete guy. I'm like planning and I'm gonna like draw up plans for this whole situation down there. And then I just look over to the right, right? And I see this big flat raised platform with pea gravel in it, which is the place, Andrew, where I've been talking about building these raised gardening beds for like now what, one or two seasons I still have yet to build these garden beds. And I look over there and I go, you know what? That is perfect for this big friggin pool thing. And then next to it, the fireplace pit. It's actually perfectly designed for it. It's. I already did all of the hard work of cleaning out all of the weeds and pulling all of the vegetation out, putting down all this landscaping fabric, covering it with literal tons of this pea gravel. It's elevated so that you can still see the river. It's like big enough to contain both the fire pit area and the like swimming pool area. The only thing that I lose by doing this is I can't put these raised beds in here. Which by the way, I still haven't done. I have no history of successfully growing vegetables and it buys you at least.

Andy (34:09)

Six months before it would be planting season anyway.

Luke Burbank (34:12)

Exactly.

Andy (34:13)

Ish.

Luke Burbank (34:13)

And I. And like it was the craziest thing because. And this is again, unless you live inside my, my weird head. Unless you've been out here just in the yard staring, like I do about half of the time. I'll get a lawn chair, Andrew, and I'll just go sit in part of my driveway and stare at things in the yard that I want to fix. It's like an insane person. And there was something about having this, this, this, this problem that I couldn't solve, which was like. Or this problem that I was going to solve with like an insane amount of time, money, energy, whatever. And then looking over and going, and you know what is, what I could do instead is I could wheel this swimming pool up to this area that's already leveled out, already has gravel already. Is weed proof, is in a good spot. And then I can put it in the corner, which I did. And then I can go get the fire pit and put that also on gravel, which is the, you know.

Andy (35:05)

Yeah, gravel actually seems like really it's the best here for some reason.

Luke Burbank (35:09)

It's exactly what you want. It is a lower fire risk from embers. It's like. And I don't know why I didn't piece this together. It's because I had this one. Because again, my other dream scenario was I will build these raised beds heads. I will. I will plant these, all these vegetables in there. The vegetables will flourish. There will be the day that I like, hey, I want a salad today. I will walk outside, I will harvest these vegetables that I grew. I will bring them in, I will chop them up, I'll put them in a salad, I will eat them, they will nourish me and I will feel okay. That was, that was like, there was like competing fantasies of what was going to happen with this space. And because I had locked into this fantasy of growing vegetables over there, there, it never even occurred to me that I had been accidentally creating the ideal location for this little mixed use thing I wanted to do. And then when I finally just like had this breakthrough the other day and then just drained the pool and then wheeled it up there and placed it and then leveled it out and then got the fire pit, I can't use the fire pit yet because the fire, you know, danger is still high out here. But I just put the fire pit where it's going to go and I just put some little chairs out and I just like, looked at and I was just like the amount of like, relief and excitement that that brought me, that I had like, that this thing had been solved and that the only downside is I will have to. If I ever get around to it, to building vegetable raised beds, I just have to do that somewhere else in the yard. Like, I don't know why this, like, this made my whole weekend. It almost. It didn't, but it almost made me feel less bad about the Seahawks and Sam Darnold losing that game in such a terrible fashion.

Andy (36:39)

Like finding a puzzle piece under your couch.

Luke Burbank (36:41)

Yeah.

Andy (36:42)

Yes.

Luke Burbank (36:42)

It felt like I had, like, yes. What it felt like was that I was going around and around and around with some sort of a puzzle that I couldn't solve because it was. It's like, well, if I do this over here, then that means this won't work and I can't do this and da, da, da. And then again, always my solution is, well, what if I just throw more money at this? And what if I just, like, hire out more people to, you know, come and deal with this or whatever. And instead it was like, oh, just right over there. This other thing that you did already is going to be great for this. And then, like, now. And also, I can see this from my bedroom, Andrew. Like, when I was a little kid and I would, like, mow lawns and save up for, like, some Jordan sneakers that I wanted. I've told this story many times. I would go to bed, I would put the sneakers on, like, a cabinet in my room or somewhere, or if I got anything I was really excited about, I would put it in a place in my room that when I woke up, it would be the first thing I would see. Like, now where this pool and fire pit are. I can see it from my bedroom windows. And literally, like, in the morning, it's been, like two mornings, I literally sit up and I look over and I look at it, and it makes me feel happy. Like I'm a kid again with my Jordan Seekers.

Andy (37:48)

I was thinking recently about how much I loved looking out my window when I was a kid. You know, I had that I had a very vivid imagination, and I had a very vivid lack of friends. And so a lot. And this is. This sounds like a sad sex story, but the truth of the matter is, like, I had a couple of friends that I would see every now and then, but I also just grew up in the country. It wasn't like, hey, I'm gonna go next door and play with the neighbor kids for a while. I had a neighbor kid I played with. Doesn't matter. But for the most part, I just feel like a big part of me growing up was growing up out in the country with this big parcel of land, my sister off doing her own thing, and me just running around. And I wouldn't. Wouldn't even say reenacting, I guess, enacting, like, war scenes or shoot them up scenes, you know, I'm like, going. And I don't think I was allowed to play with guns. I don't know if I was using my finger guns or what it was, but it was just, like, a lot of running around and just, like, totally fake spycraft as I was, like, constantly running around and avoiding enemy combatants or what have you, or sneaking into, like, you know, going under the pool deck and pretending like I was a spy. I don't even know exactly what I was doing, but. But then there were the other Times where I would. I had a bedroom up on the second floor of the house that would overlook the entire backyard, my play field, if you will, right? And I could see the. The little pond we had and a little kind of shitty building next to the pond. And then the pool and the barn and everything. All the places I could play. And I would be up in my room and I was. This is. As I'm getting into music and I'm like listening to Beatles records, you know, like old Beatles records. But I'm kind of hearing it for the first time. I'm becoming somebody who likes my own music for the first time or whatever. And also sort of just like looking out the window, listening. Like I remember the first time I heard Paint It Black by the Rolling Stones. Or the first time that I heard it on an album or something, right? And I'm playing it in my bedroom and just staring out the window at my playfield below where I have thwarted many enemies over the years. Maybe even imagining they're out there, I don't know. But I would just listen to records for so long and stare out my window. I was thinking about it recently because Bingo likes to stare out my basement windows. And I think he likes me to be there. He gets it from me. And I think he kind of likes this one thing because sometimes he just kind of will look at me like, come on, are we going to do this? Are we going to do this? And so he'll jump up in the window and then the window is right. Because it's a basement window. It's like right at face level for me, right where he's sitting. And we'll just sort of sit there and I'll pet him. And he's looking out the window and I'm looking out the window, but the view kind of sucks. I'm just looking at the side of the garage here or whatever. But I've been doing it a lot lately and sort of thinking like, God, so much of my life as a kid. Kid was just listening to music. I didn't have a cat then, but just like sitting on the edge of my bed or often just standing next to the record player staring out my window. And I did sort of have this moment of, I wish I had a better view here because I could just stare out this window with a Bingo all day. I don't think my. You said your story didn't have a power out. I didn't even have a power in on that thing.

Luke Burbank (40:47)

Well, if you don't power in that, you don't have to power out. That's the key.

Andy (40:51)

That's the truth. Thank goodness. Thank you, baby.

Luke Burbank (41:05)

Okay, let's thank some donors. These folks are keeping TBTL happening five days a week, 52 weeks a year. This is 100 listener supported podcasting. We don't have any advertisers. We don't have any CPB grants. I guess nobody has any CPP grants anymore. We luckily have folks like Sheila Reeks. Hey, in Ithaca, New York. It is gorgeous out there.

Andy (41:35)

And gorgeous.

Luke Burbank (41:36)

Absolutely gorgeous.

Andy (41:38)

I can't even say the word gorgeous gorgeous anymore. The right way anymore. I just say gorgeous gorgeous. Yes, Ithaca is gorgeous.

Luke Burbank (41:44)

Thanks, Sheila. Appreciate you being a fan and a supporter for all these years. Thanks also to Jen Miller in Fullerton, California.

Andy (41:52)

Hey, thank you, Jen.

Luke Burbank (41:55)

Daniel Patterson checking in from Aberdeen, Washington. See, I said Aberdeen. Kind of like Scottish. Yeah, like it was kind of. That was a head fake. Yeah, that was a double move, Andrew. Like what Jackson, Smith and Jigba did yesterday when I thought the Seahawks were gonna win as we were driving down the field in the last minute and a half. Half before things went sideways. But that's when I said Aberdeen. That's where the cornerback bit on me, saying Aberdeen because I thought that I was going to say Scotland, but then I said Washington. That's when I burn up the sideline and a picture perfect ball just falls right into my bread basket like happened yesterday.

Andy (42:28)

That was a perfect analogy.

Luke Burbank (42:31)

Thank you. Kristen Myers is in Atlanta, Georgia.

Andy (42:36)

Hey, I've been one of my favorite.

Luke Burbank (42:38)

Places for the Mariners to score I La. It's one of 28 runs.

Andy (42:42)

It's one of my favorite places for Mariners to play two games. Not three, though.

Luke Burbank (42:46)

Not three. Definitely not three. But two. I can think of two games I like them playing.

Andy (42:51)

Exactly.

Luke Burbank (42:52)

Thank you, Kristen. Thanks to Chelsea Shriver who's in Vancouver, British Columbia.

Andy (42:58)

A lot of familiar names as always. Thank you, folks.

Luke Burbank (43:01)

And folks like Joanne Stevenson in Cheviot, Canterbury, New Zealand.

Andy (43:07)

Nice. I was just emailing with Joey. Thank you, Joe.

Luke Burbank (43:09)

Really? Can you share that with me or was that a private.

Andy (43:12)

Very, very private. I can't remember. Luke, my apologies. It might. It wasn't texting. I know it wasn't texting because I don't think we can text. If you're out of the United States, you can text in, but I don't think I can text back. So it must have been an email. I'm not.

Luke Burbank (43:27)

That's weird to me that that's still, you know, because we were talking about this the other day on the show how. Because you were saying how the scammers are always trying to get you over onto WhatsApp.

Andy (43:34)

Yeah. Nothing on that, by the way. Never, never had my crickets. Yeah.

Luke Burbank (43:39)

What if they know that you're dog sitting? Do you think that would maybe up your attractiveness? Tell them you'll bring Maggie to the date.

Andy (43:44)

Still with that dog.

Luke Burbank (43:46)

But I was saying how part of my understanding about WhatsApp is that it's free. Like if we try to text with our pal Bean Baxter, who lives over there in England. Now, if he has to use his regular cellular phone, there's some charge for texting us in the states. Whereas WhatsApp is free for international text texting. Isn't it shocking to you that there's any kind of a charge for texting? It's all digital. Right. It's all web based at some. On some level. Right. I mean, I don't know if it is just seems like the fact it doesn't cost you money to send an email to somebody in another country, shouldn't that be the same reason it doesn't cost you money to send a text to somebody in another country?

Andy (44:24)

I don't know if I share that. Well, one thing I'll, you know.

Luke Burbank (44:28)

You don't know if you share my nuanced understanding.

Andy (44:30)

Well, I'm just trying to.

Luke Burbank (44:31)

Technology pay.

Andy (44:32)

Okay, so here's the breakdown down for me. Just to be very clear. When we're talking about texting with our listeners, we're just using the free Gmail service. Like we have a phone number set up, but it's just Gmail is Google Voice and Google Texting. And you know, there's an email associated with it as well. We just don't use the email. So it's kind of like for a totally free service, I guess it sort of makes sense that like when Bill in Canada texts me, I can't text back because the technology isn't there. Like, it doesn't bother me too much because it's totally free and for our phone services we are paying. Texting is. Isn't free. For our phone services we're paying monthly. I guess your question is just kind of like, but why does it cost more for me to text somebody in London than Atlanta?

Luke Burbank (45:12)

Because my feeling is, and I know this might not be exactly how cell technology works, but it seems to me like, so if I text you, Andrew, and doesn't cost me any extra service charge above and beyond what I'm already paying for my service, my sense is my phone goes to a Cell phone tower somewhere. That information that I'm sending to it then does it just go along the towers and then come down to your phone? It never gets ingested in some kind of a web based thing where it goes up to a satellite and comes. I don't know, I guess I just feel like I don't understand why, why it would be. It seems to me like everything at some level, at some point goes into the Internet somewhere and then comes out somewhere else. And so if it's going into the Internet for where I am and coming back out in Seattle, is it that different of it going into the Internet and coming out in London for Bean? But maybe that's not how this works. Maybe this stuff never gets ingested into the Internet or some sort of a digital world like that. Maybe it's because it's bouncing around on towers the whole time. It's gotta go through so many more towers to get to London that that's why they want to charge me extra.

Andy (46:16)

Can I ask you a dumb question?

Luke Burbank (46:18)

Please.

Andy (46:18)

Do we still have some sort of a big Internet cable pipeline? Yeah, I was going to say a big Internet pipeline, but yeah, big cable that goes underneath the Atlantic Ocean. I just feel like I remember there being talk of this in the early 2000s and it was like a huge, huge, obviously international project. You knew what I was going to say. So I'm not totally making this up. What is the status of that?

Luke Burbank (46:44)

Okay. CNN reporting as of July of 2019, the global Internet is powered by vast undersea cable. Okay, but they're vulnerable.

Andy (46:54)

That was because of Loch Ness, because of Nelly, who famously is in an.

Luke Burbank (47:00)

Ocean and is by the way, a Luddite.

Andy (47:04)

Yes, hates technology.

Luke Burbank (47:05)

Locky is very, very intent upon trying to get us back to just like a little more in person, a little more brick and mortar, a little ir into the L and not so much this crazy world of power gloves and sending text messages.

Andy (47:20)

Part of the slow cryptid movement is what they call it.

Luke Burbank (47:25)

I'm trying to jump to the latest. Let's see. In 2012, Hurricane Sandy slammed into the east coast, causing an estimated $71 billion in damage and knocking out several key exchanges where undersea cables linked North America and Europe. The entire network between North America and Europe was isolated for a number of hours. Let's see. For its newest cable marea, Microsoft chose to base its US operation further down the coast in Virginia, away from the cluster of cables. Cables to minimize disruption should another massive storm hit New York. Most often when a cable goes down, nature is not to blame. There are about 200 such failures each year, and the vast majority are caused by humans. Two thirds of cable failures are caused by accidental human activities. Fishing nets and trawling, and also ships anchors, said Tim Strong, vice president of research at Telegeography. A magnitude 7.0 earthquake off the southwest coast of Taiwan in 2006, along with aftershocks, cut eight submarine cables. Cables which cause Internet outages and disruption in Taiwan, Hong Kong, China, Japan, Korea and the Philippines. By the way, this is James Griffith's writing in cnn. So sounds like maybe that's part of the thing is that I assumed everything just went up into the like whatever sphere and just bouncing around there and doing its thing and bouncing on down. But if these things all have to get put into a literal series of tubes.

Andy (48:47)

Yeah.

Luke Burbank (48:47)

And then run under the Atlantic, I guess it does kind of make more sense that it would come. Cost an extra few cents for me to text Bean.

Andy (48:53)

Yeah, I'm looking actually at some pretty interesting images and I'm trying to think of people working on these things underwater. It's like incredible to see, like, oh yeah, this is still like these are physical things that you can go down there and fix and touch. But I guess I can't figure out because I'm sort of clicking around as you're talking and reading as well. And it seems like I thought there was one very specific cable that was related to Internet in the early 2000s. That was like a big conversation. But I remember that cables have been going. I mean, looking at Wikipedia, it looks like there's been transatlantic cables for a long time. So I don't know the specific one that I was talking about or if I'm sort of quasi misremembering it. But boy, yeah, looking at, I'm looking at this, I'm looking at a CBS this Morning video here by the way of little rovers that go onto the ocean floor to maintain these things. This actually looks very fascinating.

Luke Burbank (49:47)

Well, thank you to all of our donors for making the TBTL undersea cable possible. We've run it under the Columbia river river and it's how I'm able to get the show over to Rainier, Oregon. Across the river is the TBTL Trans Columbia cable, which these donors you heard today have paid for personally. So thank you. We couldn't do it without you.

Andy (50:12)

Hello and welcome to Top Story.

Luke Burbank (50:15)

Andrew, have you been following any of this drama surrounding this. I guess Philadelphia Phillies fan.

Andy (50:22)

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Luke Burbank (50:23)

Who chased down this, this home run ball that Harrison Border had hit and berated this guy to get the ball back.

Andy (50:31)

So, yeah, I think I'm seeing it unfold kind of in real time because I think I. If I recall, it was happening during Friday's absolute disaster of a Mariners game that we sort of alluded to. And so when the Mariners games are really going off the rails, I'm spending more time like on blue sky, just looking it. You just need that community of outrage and screaming and you know what I mean? And. And so I. My. My eyes tend to drift down from the TV and onto my blue ski so that I can kind of share in the pain of other Mariners fans. And then this started breaking. So I'm assuming this was a Friday game. I don't know if that's true or not. You are correct, sir.

Luke Burbank (51:07)

It was the Miami Marlins against the Philadelphia Phillies. It was at Lone Depot park, the Classic. I mean, who doesn't remember being a kid and going out to Lone Depot? It's actually not even the worst name of these. The worst naming rights of these various baseball stadiums.

Andy (51:25)

Well, can I say something? And I think I might be sort of paraphrasing something that Chris Hayes might have blue skied. I'm not entirely sure about that, but there was something about Friday. There was an NFL game. It was the Chargers, and somebody else said Cowboys. Maybe I might be wrong about that, but I was watching the Mariners game. Mostly I wanted to go to a bar to watch the Mariners game, but I walked in and it was all football. I'm like, oh, it's so weird to see football on every TV on a Friday night in early September. And then as I started, yes. And what I realized was I was like, boy, nothing. And again, I think I'm sort of paraphrasing Chris here, but like, nothing kind of reminds me of how much I love the nostalgia of football than it a Friday night YouTube broadcast of a Chargers game taking place in Sao Paulo. Like it was such. Now, I didn't. I got to be honest with you, when the Mariners game ended or when I gave up on it and I switched over, I was glad to have some football there for my eyes. But my God, what a word salad of things that I do not associate with NFL Sundays.

Luke Burbank (52:36)

The Supreme Court has ruled that ice is allowed to pick three of the starters in the YouTube Friday night game between the AI.

Andy (52:46)

Yes. Oh, yeah. Also hosted by Mr. Beast. That was another little detail of this.

Luke Burbank (52:51)

Are you kidding me?

Andy (52:52)

I didn't realize that because I don't know what that guy looks like. But all over blue sky before I turned it on. I guess he was kind of like, there was him in a podium with Goodell at one point, kind of introducing the Friday Night Special or whatever. I don't think they called it Friday Night Special. It'd be a lot cooler if they did. But anyway, yeah, then There was a Mr. Beast component, of course, because it was a YouTube presentation. Like, can you wrap your head around that?

Luke Burbank (53:14)

Jake Paul and Austin Genti will be locked in a pit, which everyone stays there the longest, wins a lifetime supply of Mr.

Andy (53:22)

Beast burgers, wins the super bowl.

Luke Burbank (53:27)

And. And immunity from any future crime, permanent immunity as Trump's official Secretary of badassery. Anyway, yeah, that was a. Yeah, that was. Was a. I started watching that game on Friday night. I was like, how. How is this even. Like, I was kind of happy because, you know, I, I missed the Thursday night game because I was working. We had a, like a live wire event and I was like, oh, that's a bummer. Because I would have probably, you know, I would have watched that game as the kind of kickoff of the season. But then, like, randomly Friday night, there's this freaking game on in Brazil.

Andy (53:58)

Oh. And of course it was the Chiefs. I'm sorry, there's Chiefs, Chargers. That's a big oversight on my part. Yeah. Yeah.

Luke Burbank (54:04)

And I'm just like. It felt. I was like, I kind of like that I get to watch a real game, but I don't like anything else about this. Like, this feels really, you know, about AstroTurf. They're probably playing on literal Astroturf, but, like, whole thing felt very weird to me. Okay, so back to the Phillies. Phillies are playing. The Marlins are playing in Miami. And there's a home run ball that is hit by a Phillies player, I think. Yeah. And it's doing that thing where nobody catches it out of like mid air. It just, you know, it goes into like the left field bleachers and it's kind of bouncing around. And this guy runs over. This woman is kind of bending down for the ball, but she's maybe one row above where the ball is. And this guy is at the level of the ball. He's in the same row. So he runs over and he's.

Andy (54:46)

Would you say maybe 10ft away? Like, so it lands kind of right in front of her, but one row down, it lands in his row, but he really has to scurry to get it. I'm going to say at least 10 seats away. Right about that.

Luke Burbank (54:57)

Yeah. It lands much more, much closer to her and more in front of her than in Front of him by a long shot, definitely. So he runs over there. But this is a classic scene that unfolds all the time in baseball stadiums. A ball, when not caught, is kind of just whoever gets to it first. There's no dibs. There's no, like, that was my ball. Well, not according to this lady, because what happens is the guy runs over, he gets the ball first. First he runs back to his son. It's actually very cute. He gives it to his little son, who I guess we've learned now, by.

Andy (55:31)

The way, he has a. Yeah, he puts mitt. Yes.

Luke Burbank (55:34)

Love it. The kids are all right. They're bringing their mitts to baseball games to Lone Depot park. And he gives it to his son. And his son is obviously super excited. I guess we've learned now. Was the kid's birthday just, you know.

Andy (55:44)

Is that true, though? It says here this is just one thing where when the Post starts writing this up and also, like the. Listen, spoiler alert. The dad and the kids are totally sympathetic in this. Totally. But I just. The gilding of the lily of these stories always drives me a little bit crazy. Here it says, a father who was berated into giving his son's home run baseball back. It was supposed to be an early birthday gift.

Luke Burbank (56:09)

Early birthday present.

Andy (56:10)

So in other words, he must have.

Luke Burbank (56:11)

Gotten this baseball early.

Andy (56:13)

The kid has a birthday at some point. But what do you mean in the year? What do you mean it was supposed to be an early birthday gift? You luckily got a ball at a ball game. You don't have to gild the lily and turn it into this kid's birthday gift. What the fuck?

Luke Burbank (56:25)

Yeah, sorry.

Andy (56:26)

I don't think I'm a little bit.

Luke Burbank (56:27)

Rushed, but really earning that explicit label.

Andy (56:32)

I'm sorry. I don't know why that came out so rough, but it's just like. I just don't know. I feel like.

Luke Burbank (56:36)

Oh, you mean because journalism is under threat? And this probably felt to you, like, totally unimportant, but also kind of important.

Andy (56:42)

It just felt a little bit like.

Luke Burbank (56:43)

A little bit.

Andy (56:44)

With the Paul Skeens ball, what was the story about the Paul Skeens badge card that the kid had opened? I remember there was like, it was amazing that this kid had found this incredibly valuable card. But then there were some details of the story that I just thought were laid on a little bit thick once. Like, we had a media storm around it, and we can turn these kids. We can take something that is a totally good story. It's sufficient. But then we always have to Say, and also. Well, nevermind. I was gonna say something even darker, but you don't have to add details to the story that are bullshit. You don't call a ball that was hit into the stadium near where you were sitting an early birthday gift. It' going to the ball game with your kids and hoping for the best.

Luke Burbank (57:29)

By the way, when I sent you the show sheet, I only had the Post story, which is always rough. But then I found out that the New York Times had also written about this. And that's the piece I'm working off of Zach Powell over at the Athletic, which I now get, Andrew, because I'm paying full freight for the New York Times.

Andy (57:44)

It's from Europe. But actually, wait, though, is it. Is there going to be egg on my face here? Is it more. Is there more of a birthday connection?

Luke Burbank (57:50)

No, no, no. But just. I'm just like. That was just on the subject of the New York Post and what an absolute bullshit machine it is. Or was it tmz actually, that I included?

Andy (58:00)

You included a New York Post here. The interesting thing is, like, I've only known this as watching the video over and over with various analysis. I haven't really read this whole story. So that's why I'm kind of like, I just went hard on this family story. I hope I'm right about that.

Luke Burbank (58:15)

Well, what happened was the dad gets the ball, he gives it to the kid, the kid's all excited. And almost before, like, like, not one second later, this woman who's fully decked out in Philly's gear runs over and starts kind of yelling at the dad that he stole her baseball. And first of all, the reaction from the dad, you can. The dad is in a true moment of terror when this woman arrives. You see the dad kind of do this, like, recoil. That is the thing that you do if you have a kind of a quick startle response and you come around a corner in your own house and you're not expecting someone. Like, it is clear this man is in an absolute unguarded moment when this woman runs over to him. Probably because he. He goes from celebrating an early birthday present with his son, famously. And like the highlight of. He's like, oh, my God, I got this baseball. I got this home run. I'm giving it to my kid. To, like, a woman is like, poking me in the shoulder and yelling at me. Yeah.

Andy (59:05)

And he. I actually think it was really interesting. And I wondered if it was also part of, like a reaction of, I don't know, just sort of the Modern era of both, like, social media and being cautious of how we touch other people or whatever. This woman kind of grabs shoulder and he's like, celebrating. He's got his sort of. His shoulders turned to her a little bit because he's, like, celebrating with his two kids. And then she touches his shoulder. And it is like, clearly a reaction that he has where he puts both of his hands up and sort of bounces back a little bit, like, almost like the. I'm not touching you. Like, what is going on here? Why is somebody touching me? And I am definitely not touching you.

Luke Burbank (59:41)

You can tell that the circuitry in his brain is shorting out a little bit from this whole thing. It's so unexpected. And there's been multiple videos now that I've watched where it's like, he's just. He starts by saying, basically, like, oh, I. I just got this ball for my son. And she's saying, but you took it from me. You stole it from me. It was my ball. This woman feels very, I guess, sure of the entitled and sure of the fact that this was her ball because it was landing closer to her, which, again, fundamentally misunderstands how this kind of stuff goes down. The ball's bouncing around. It's just whoever grabs it first. That's just how it works. This woman was not up to speed on that kind of unspoken rule. And so the dad eventually just, like, takes the ball back away from the kid and gives it to the woman just to kind of be like, look, if it's that important you have the ball, just please leave us alone. And luckily, this is all dismissive, sort.

Andy (60:28)

Of angry, dismissive wave, like, take it and get out of here with his hand.

Luke Burbank (60:31)

Get. And so she then, I guess there's so many. Oh, my gosh, the memeification of this woman, it's just wild, Andrew, because, like, there's this photo circulating of her holding the ball up, where she's making this face that I don't even know if it's like, AI generated. I don't know if she ever actually made this face, but it just makes her look so demented that she's holding the ball up. Then people have done this AI overview where she turns into Gollum, like, and the ring. So she's got the ball and she's walking back because I do think she gets the ball and then she walks back over to her area and she's holding the ball like this treasure. Because she, of course, has no idea in this moment that a. It's all being filmed That B, she is about to become public enemy number one of a certain kind of baseball Internet person. Like, my feeling is this has probably not made it onto the radars of people that don't spend too much time on blue ski baseball like you and I do. But, like. So, first of all, the. The Miami Marlins team sees this, and they realize, oh, this is kind of a bummer for this kid. So they show up with, like, all this swag for this kid, like, more balls, and, I don't know, a bunch of free stuff, and they give it to him. Somehow this gets back to the Phillies, who invite the kid down after the game. So the kid and his family get to meet the guy, Harrison. I don't know if it's Border or Bader. The Phillies guy who hit the home run gives the kid a bat. Like a signed bat.

Andy (61:49)

Yeah. Because the interesting thing is this is all amongst Phillies fans, but it's not in Philadelphia, which does add a sort of, like, weird sort of wrinkle to the story. Right. So then you have the. The Marlins people saying, well, we got to do something for this family. But also, they're Phillies fans. They're not Marlins.

Luke Burbank (62:05)

Does he want a bunch of Marlins stuff?

Andy (62:07)

Yeah. Right.

Luke Burbank (62:08)

It's a nice gesture, though.

Andy (62:09)

Yeah, sure. No, they did the right thing, for sure.

Luke Burbank (62:11)

Sure.

Andy (62:11)

Yeah.

Luke Burbank (62:11)

I mean, it turns out that the best thing that can happen if you're a kid is to have, like, one shitty baseball taken away from you.

Andy (62:17)

Yeah.

Luke Burbank (62:17)

On camera. So that you can then get an obviously huge upgrade, which is an actual signed bat from the guy who is the Philly who hit the home run. And then. Although, you know what? It's actually unclear. These might be Marlins fans. I'm operating off the principle that they're Phillies fans.

Andy (62:32)

No, no, the family's Phillies fans.

Luke Burbank (62:33)

They are.

Andy (62:34)

Yeah. No, these are all Philly. And the woman is a Phillies fan. Yes. They're all. Well, definitely. They're all wearing Phillies gear and.

Luke Burbank (62:39)

Oh, okay.

Andy (62:40)

You know, they're huge Phillies. Yeah. Yeah.

Luke Burbank (62:41)

I knew that the woman was probably a Phillies fan. Cause she's decked out. I didn't clock what the. What the other family was wearing, so that's even cooler for them.

Andy (62:47)

Yeah, that's what I think is interesting. That's why it's kind of like the family is kind of like, okay, we're getting all this swag from the Miami people. But then, of course, then they do. The team that they're there to root for, the Phillies do invite them down into the. Into the tunnel or whatever. Right. Did you see the images of him, like, signing.

Luke Burbank (63:03)

It was very cute.

Andy (63:04)

Or a ball.

Luke Burbank (63:04)

Yeah, but so. So now it's like now they're doing interviews. Like the. The dad and the kid are doing media interviews about what it was like when this horrendous woman ripped the ball away from them, et cetera. And now the Internet is trying to track down. There's been a woman who looks similar to this woman who was outed as the Philly fan, except she isn't that person. And now she's had to go online and be like, the Internet is wrong. I am not that person. I just have a similar hairstyle to that person. Like, now they're to trying. Trying to, like, find this woman. It just. It feels to me like it's now almost gone out of control in the other direction. It's like, look, the kid has gotten some cool stuff out of this. He's had his 15 minutes, as has his dad. We're all rooting for them. I also don't want the Internet to, like, start posting the home address of this woman. I mean, this woman who grabbed the baseball. It's like she again, is like, she's getting enough on the Internet. I feel like whatever quote, unquote punishment she deserved, she's received it. Now she understands at the end, Internet has ruled her to be not a nice person. Of course they're using the K word with her, which I've been very. I've been very intent upon not using here. Very intentional about not calling her that. Yesterday, Andrew, when I was checking in to this livewire event down at this winery, I was standing behind some people who were at the kind of ticket area. And one of the things that we like to do at these events, which we also do at live at TBTL events, sometimes we'll give people name tags like that you can fill out. That's kind of fun. It also helps. Helps us, frankly. It helps me remember everyone's name. It's a nice little thing. And the Valentine Keck, our operations manager, had asked this woman, hey, would you like to use a name tag? And she said, well, my name is Karen, and everyone hates the name Karen now, so I don't really want to do that. And I thought, man, what a. What a bummer. What a bummer that we have so messed that name up by calling people that name that somebody who just has the name and has had. In this woman's case, it looked like probably had the name for 50, 60, 70 years now doesn't even want to write Their own name on a name tag.

Andy (65:02)

Do you remember the last time, do you remember the last time this has come up, though? I said basically the same thing you did. Maybe not quite as much. I remember I was talking or as eloquently and I. Or as eloquently and I said something and I said, you know, some people would use the Karen word here, but I don't like that because we have listeners named Karen and it seems like a pretty bad deal. And then a few days later I got this email, email. In a show last week, you described something as a Karen thing to do or way to act. Wow, what a thoughtless and hurtful insult to all the people who listen to TBTL named Karen. Especially coming from the host of a podcast that claims to be inclusive, friendly, community focused. I guess it's not true if your parents happen to name you Karen. And I wrote back, I think you're mistaken. I said I don't do that.

Luke Burbank (65:46)

Yeah, I don't. I'm really trying to personally work on not ever dropping that name as shorthand for. For somebody who happens to be a woman who's behaving, we think, in a way that's somewhat whatever. And again, I couldn't like that was if I wasn't already steadfast in that I felt even more confirmed yesterday when I again overheard a woman who has no idea, by the way. I even overheard the conversation literally debating whether or not she should put her real name on her name tag because her name's been friggin ruined.

Andy (66:14)

Right?

Luke Burbank (66:14)

Yeah, but so I don't know. I guess it's like part of me, when I first saw the clip, I would. I kind of wanted the Internet to find out who this woman was. And then I wanted people to like go after her. And then I just thought, wait, this has been a good outcome. This kid has gotten all this cool free stuff and this attention and it's fine. It's not made better by the by take. By what? Getting this woman fired because she just got too worked up? She was excited about a baseball ball. She didn't understand or she, her brain shorted out so that she didn't really like fully realize that like look, etiquette is if you get the ball first, you get the ball first. That's just how it's the breaks. She just got too worked up, she got excited, she got she. And she made. She looked a little silly and looked a little unfun. Okay, fine. She's been plenty punished by the Internet. We don't need to now find her and punish her further. Like, you know what I mean?

Andy (67:06)

It doesn't make. Absolutely make the story better. I do fantasize about, like, because I watched even later that night, some people were posting, like, how, you know, it makes the clips for the cable sports shows or whatever. And there were some people who were kind of breaking down the moment. Well, everybody was breaking down the moment, right? And using all of their, their slow motion and graphics or whatever. And one of them, like, kind of used this graphic that showed the eye contact that other people not involved in the incident, but just other spectators who are around and witnessing this. They did this thing where they showed their eyes following this woman as she stomped back victorious to her. To her seat. And it's just like, it's also just so funny because, like, she's wearing Philly stuff. It's like, have you been to a baseball game before? How do you so misunderstand the rules of catching balls in a stadium or grabbing them? You know what I mean? It's just like, right, you've told on yourself so much about not understanding how this stuff works. But also like, I was sort of thinking like, well, this woman, I want her to know how atrociously she acted. But guess what? She's gotten that memo now. Like, nobody needs to have to. Nobody needs to identify it her. Nobody needs to invade her privacy. Like, I do wonder. I'm sort of morbidly curious as to whether or not she still thinks she's in the right and if she feels like the world is sort of against her, like, or has she been like, wow, I really did seeing my. Because usually, and I say this from when I've acted boorishly myself, you don't. You aren't usually ready to admit that you looked as. That you were in the wrong on something, especially even in something that shook the sports world so much. You know what I mean? Like, you're probably. She's probably digging in. Or at least at some point her initial reaction would be like, well, I was right and I'm getting a bad rap. But I'm just wondering now that it's kind of like Monday morning, is it Tuesday? At some point, is this woman ever going to sort of like, have a reflective moment of her actions and then maybe even apply it to actions in the future? I don't really know. I'm curious about that, but I do not think that we should be seeking out that answer. I think that everybody should move on from this.

Luke Burbank (69:10)

Yeah, if she wants to, you know, I guess make a Post and say like hey, I, I, I didn't realize, you know, things got out of hand for me there and I kind of feel silly about it or something. That of course would be her business, but I, I guess you know, and that would be fine or whatever. But like again I, it's weird because I feel like the problem is I have like so many of us maybe it's like it's so easy for me to get into the highest of high dudgeon over something and then immediately like want blood. Like my first thought was like you better find her and, and put her on blast. And it's like I don't like that. That was my first impulse until I actually gave it a moment to think about it and be like, no. How much blast does this person need for just like get like being kind of a little bit much. Like if being a little bit much is enough to put them on blast, I would be blasted out of the friggin solar system by now.

Andy (70:00)

I think the thing is that when you see her body language it, it's hard to not annoying. Yeah, the body language, it's like something we've all seen a million times and the person is never in the right but they're act, you know, it's the person who's stomping around acting like they're completely entitled or in the right about something but making a bit of a scene. Like she marches over there and says that's my ball. When clearly it's all on national television. Like it wasn't your ball. It was a ball that went into the stands and somebody and you almost got it but you, you didn't and somebody got there sooner and then gave it to a kid, you know what I mean? So having an early birthday, famously, she should have known that. But like all of the body language of her like it did trigger something in me. You're like, oh, this woman. Oh my God. But you also have to just say, well this, you know, that that's it. I do worry a little bit about the, the sort of like the Internet crowd coming together to like like you know, unmask and shame further or make like at this point, listen, it was a little thing at a baseball game. Let's, let's, we had our fun with it on tv kind of making fun of her. I think the, I think everybody knows who's in the right, who's in the wrong. That's the important thing I think for like this kind of low level like injustice is to have the justice of be like okay, the world is on your side, dad and kids. And this woman has been embarrassed. That's definitely where it should end.

Luke Burbank (71:25)

It's plenty. And the kid got a way better deal out of the whole thing. So it's like, yeah, everybody can kind of like. Yeah. I also think that this woman has a kind of distinctive hairstyle that was kind of, I think also for some reason like just made her notable. She was a very interesting looking character, bedecked in her fillies gear with her two tone hair and like you said, her physicality of how she's kind of like walking back with the ball, it feels like kind of proud moments. It just seems like it strikes me and again I'm doing the same logical leap that a bunch of people have already done, which is probably not a good thing. But it's easy, like you said, to make a lot of assumptions about other instances where this woman has maybe been less than gracious. But I don't know if that's the case or not. I don't know her, I don't know her life. And so I think maybe the lesson for me is to just take a minute, take a breath before I am immediately calling for some. Someone's two toned head on the Internet because they like, you know, hurt a kid's feelings.

Andy (72:24)

It's the second time something's been sort of like for some reason I sort of put this in the same category a little bit as what happened at that Coldplay concert with the infidelity on the jumbotron. Yeah. You know what, I'm. I don't know. There's something about again, like the Internet had its fun with it. It had some real life implications for the people.

Luke Burbank (72:43)

I believe that woman was just, just like formally fired the other day I.

Andy (72:46)

Saw a headline and didn't he didn't.

Luke Burbank (72:48)

I think he resigned.

Andy (72:50)

Yeah. Yeah.

Luke Burbank (72:50)

So yeah, I mean that was, we never, I don't know if we got into that on air, but that story was, that story was, was pretty wild. Just the whole, the event itself, but then just the, the long tail on that story.

Andy (73:04)

You may. I was like, how did we not talk about that? And you know what, you might have been in Europe. I'm wondering because doesn't that seem like something that we would talk about about kind of.

Luke Burbank (73:12)

But also it seemed a little salacious.

Andy (73:14)

Yeah, I guess it was. Yeah, maybe we did.

Luke Burbank (73:15)

But I think I might have been in Europe too. Yeah, that, that, that story was, was, was quite wild. I mean I get, I guess the takeaway for me is and I would say to the listeners, including the young children listening, if you're doing something you're probably not supposed to be doing and you end up on the Jumbotron, do not just play it cool. That was a story where. Where the not playing it cool was the thing that sunk. I mean, by the way, the cheating was the thing that sunk them. But the not playing it cool was extra bad because the only reason it was notable was because they both had involuntary physical responses to being on that Jumbotron.

Andy (73:51)

I would say to the kids listening, be honest and truthful to your partners, and if your love has waned, then be honest about that and move on. But don't.

Luke Burbank (74:00)

And also, if you're going to cheat, don't do it at Coldplay concert because they got this camera that they're sort of wheeling it around the.

Andy (74:05)

Exactly.

Luke Burbank (74:06)

What if? Right after that, what if Chris Martin had thrown a baseball into the audience and that cheating couple had snagged it away from a baby?

Andy (74:14)

I'm still mad that, speaking of the Phillies, I'm still mad that they parodied that with the Philly fanatic. Oh, I know, but they parodied it with the Philly fanatic canoodling with a female looking Philly fanatic. It had to be for. In order for the joke to work, it had to be a mascot from another team. It had to have the stank of. Of, like, embarrassment. Two Philly mascots canoodling. There's nothing wrong with that.

Luke Burbank (74:35)

No, that's how God intended it.

Andy (74:37)

God intended it. It's in the Bible.

Luke Burbank (74:39)

Exactly. All right, thanks for listening, everybody. We're gonna be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio, so please do join us for that. In the meantime, have a great Monday. Take care of yourselves. Go Mariners. And please remember, no mountain too tall.

Andy (74:49)

And good luck to all. Power out.