#4550 Poodling Around

Summary

TBTL (Too Beautiful To Live) Episode #4550 — "Poodling Around"

Aired: September 9, 2025
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

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Main Theme

This episode blends the show’s signature lighthearted banter with real-life reflections as Luke weighs the emotional and medical value of dog ownership, recounts an unexpectedly transformative neighborhood walk, and debates 'walkability'. Meanwhile, Andrew delivers his usual comedic observations, ranging from scammer texts to the peculiar placement of dartboards in TV and commercials. The episode also dips into the complexities of pet ownership, neighborly encounters, sports heartbreak, podcasting's state, and classic radio moments.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Dogged Search for Neighborhood Joy (00:54 – 22:45)

• Luke (01:06): Describes how having Gigi, a standard poodle, is not only good for his spirit but perhaps crucial for his health. “I think medically, I need to get a dog. And I'm gonna explain why...”
• Neighborhood Walk Discovery:
  • Despite always declaring his area had a “walkability score of zero,” Luke realizes for the first time it's actually a delight to walk—complete with goats, friendly neighbors, and engaging moments with local children.
  • Timestamp: 06:42: Luke recalls prior fear of walking without sidewalks, influenced by Stephen King’s accident and rural road anxieties.
  • Notable moment: “One of my neighbors has goats. I didn’t even know that.” (07:22)
• Pet Ownership Debate:
  • Discussion around the meaning of “walkability”—access to services/groceries vs. simply pleasant walking routes (07:26–07:56).

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2. Dartboards and Commercial Logic (08:01 – 15:26)

• Andrew’s Obsession: Points out TV and commercial sets frequently include impossibly placed dartboards as a visual cue for a "fun" or "disheveled" environment—often rendering them unplayable.
  • Quote: “Why is that dartboard at chest level with no room to go anywhere back to throw a dart?” (09:04)
  • Reference to a Miller Lite ad (“It is both!”), plus a sidebar on the Washington State Lotto "Squad Up" campaign and Luke’s karaoke DJ friend cameo (13:33–14:46).

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3. Poodling Around Neighborhood Encounters (16:57 – 27:57)

• Encounters on the Walk:
  • Heartwarming interaction with local children, including a child hugging Gigi and exclaiming, “I love your dog.”
  • Luke’s joking nervousness: “Am I allowed to talk to children I don’t know?... I wanted to radiate an energy that said... not a creep.” (17:03–17:59)
  • Warm acknowledgment from a bus driver, affirming the positive neighborhood energy.
  • Classic comedy reference: Andrew plays a Pink Panther joke—does your dog bite? “That is not my dog.” (18:51–19:36)
• Further Reflections:
  • Luke discovers a field of goats and finally explores a neighbor’s under-construction house sans awkwardness, thanks to walking Gigi.
  • Realization: The dog's presence transforms how he relates to and enjoys his neighborhood (“I had an experience this morning... life changing would be overstating it, but it fundamentally changed how I think about using this neighborhood.” 20:46)

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4. Poodle Doppelgängers and Dog Owner Etiquette (22:52 – 27:57)

• Luke relates an amusing “spy vs. spy” moment passing another owner walking a pure white poodle—the two dogs the exact inverse of each other, yet the other owner remains stonily unreactive.
  • “I was expecting there to be a… reaction or at least nod, like an ice… a nod, like poodle owner to poodle, pretend owner. And just like nothing happened.” (27:11)
• Andrew muses on social expectations—whether some dog owners simply want to avoid constant interaction from admirers.

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5. Cat Ownership Challenges & Andrew’s Gentle Interrogation (27:59 – 34:46)

• Andrew presses Luke about why Bubbles the cat is now mostly with Becca, despite past reasons around construction and safety.
  • Luke: Fear of cats escaping into rural predators, differences from urban neighborhoods, and Bubbles forming her own family unit with Becca and Holly.
  • “She's kind of got a thing going in Portland with Holly and Becca, so I’m just kind of like, I'm letting it lie, as it were.” (34:32)

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6. Podcast Fundraising & Boutique Fan Connection (35:17 – 38:47)

• Brief aside about TBTL’s unique business model: listener-supported and community-focused, unlike ad-driven or paywall-heavy models.
  • Luke says, “As far as being a for profit business that relies on donations from the listeners as opposed to commercials or paywalls... I think we might have invented this particular business model.” (35:44)
  • Andrew jokes about their “boutique number of listeners” and the quality of that relationship.

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7. Football Fandom, Heartbreak, and Sports Talk Radio (41:24 – 47:52)

• Andrew describes how his sports heartbreak immune system has built up after switching allegiances from the Browns, feeling less affected by Seahawks’ losses—a direct contrast to Luke’s emotional investment.
  • Andrew: “I guess I really have drifted far away. Like, I like the idea of an NFL Sunday. I like the idea of mimosas a great deal.” (45:48)
• Both touch on the wider sporting landscape: the Seahawks, Stanford’s status, obscure NFL personalities, and regional radio analysis.

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8. Radio & Podcast Bits: What Works, What Doesn’t (49:30 – 56:50)

• Luke critiques a Howard Stern/Andy Cohen “takeover bit” on Sirius where the power-out fell totally flat—no clear end or payoff, making listeners uncomfortable rather than entertained.
  • “It just went to commercial and then disappeared... There was no handoff. There was no acknowledgment that it was a bit.” (55:37)
• Both hosts reflect on the challenge of scripted bits and acting in podcasts, aligning with TBTL’s ethos of conversational authenticity.

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9. State of Sports Media & the Power of Real Journalism (59:37 – 67:16)

• Spirited discussion on the current shape of big-name podcasts: behind-the-scenes drama at The Dan Le Batard Show, fracturing of podcast “universes,” and the impressive journalism of Pablo Torre’s show.
  • “Pablo Torre... it’s amazing what’s happening. But also he’s just doing journalism.” (61:09)
  • Andrew notes: “The fact that he, as a, on an audio medium, he broke this huge thing about the NFL Players Association... That's just so, I mean, sometimes these types of, stories take years to... source.” (62:20)
• Love for radio hosts with strong call-in cultures and personality-driven commentary, exemplified in the Paul Finebaum episode analysis.

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10. Baseball Banter & Broadcasting Pet Peeves (70:15 – 84:03)

• Andrew describes listening to Mariners games via Sirius and the oddities of broadcaster pairings; both hosts pine for broadcaster Angie Mentink as a superior commentator.
  • “She’s a big upgrade from Dave Valli... She is so informative to me. I absolutely love her.”
• NPR tangent: Luke finds it irksome that All Things Considered felt the need to define “hemorrhoid” on air after a segment about toilet phone use leading to medical issues.
  • “Whoever made Elsa Chang explain what a hemorrhoid is. That’s why we lost the election.” (85:01)

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11. Neighborhood & Mental Health Realities (71:41 – 79:35)

• Andrew details a deeply human and unnerving moment: a naked, distressed man appeared at their door, highlighting the different experiences and safety calculations between him and Genevieve, his partner.
  • “There was something so symbolic to me about a naked person who’s in some sort of need at your door and me waving him away like one of the black flies...” (75:24)
• The story prompts a brief, respectful discussion on responses to mental health crises in urban environments.

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12. Classic Radio: Mel’s Hole & Coast to Coast AM (88:08 – 94:33)

• A listener voicemail prompts a callback to the infamous Coast to Coast AM "Mel’s Hole" segment—an urban legend about a bottomless pit in Ellensburg, WA, that the hosts gleefully summarize.
  • Luke recaps: “He claimed to have measured its depth using fishing line and a weight... by the time 80,000 ft of line had been used.” (90:41)
• Andrew and Luke marvel at how such odd radio tales created lasting childhood impressions.

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13. Listener Mailbag, In-Jokes, and Power Outs (85:23 – End)

• Corrections and additions from the audience, including the true origin of a Ricky Gervais bit (actually from "Life’s Too Short," not "Extras").
• A listener’s fear of The Doors' “Riders on the Storm” due to Art Bell’s night radio: “That song scared the nonsense out of me for about 20 years.” (88:45, Jack)
• Classic TBTL signoff: “No mountain too tall—And good luck to all!”

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Memorable & Notable Quotes

• Luke (06:42): “I heard the story of Stephen King being hit on a walk once by a truck, and it changed something inside of me.”
• Andrew (09:04): “Why is that dartboard at chest level with no room to go anywhere back to throw a dart?”
• Luke (20:46): “I had an experience this morning here in my neighborhood that was honestly very… fundamentally changed how I think about using this neighborhood.”
• Luke (27:11): “I was expecting there to be a… reaction or at least nod, like poodle owner to poodle, pretend owner. And just like nothing happened.”
• Andrew (45:48): “I like the idea of an NFL Sunday. I like the idea of mimosas a great deal.”
• Andrew (75:24): “There was something so symbolic to me about a naked person who’s in some sort of need at your door and me waving him away like one of the black flies that was in my basement last week.”
• Listener Jack (88:45): “That song scared the nonsense out of me for about 20 years.”

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Important Timestamps

• 00:54 – 07:26: Luke’s realization about neighborhood walkability and the spirit-lifting effect of dog ownership.
• 09:04 – 13:31: Andrew’s dartboard placement obsession and the inside-joke-laden Miller Lite “It is both!” reference.
• 16:57 – 18:45: Heartwarming kid/dog interaction and social sensitivities in 2025.
• 27:11 – 27:59: Luke’s anticipation—and disappointment—at the lack of “poodle solidarity” from a fellow dog walker.
• 41:24 – 47:52: Seahawks heartbreak, fandom evolution, and sports radio venting.
• 49:30 – 56:50: Stern/Andy Cohen “takeover bit” gone awry—bit structure and authenticity in podcasting.
• 71:41 – 79:35: Andrew’s tale of the naked man at the door; a nuanced reflection on urban mental health crises.
• 88:45: Listener Jack’s voicemail: “scared the nonsense” out of him via Riders on the Storm and Art Bell’s Mel’s Hole.
• 90:39 – 91:36: Luke’s summary of the Mel’s Hole legend.
• 97:02: Classic TBTL sign-off.

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Episode Tone and Style

• Warm, goofy, meandering: True to TBTL’s spirit, the hosts weave from everyday absurdities to deeper reflections.
• Inside jokes abound: “It is both,” dartboard gags, and meta-references to show business models.
• Vulnerable and real: Both hosts openly discuss loneliness, social anxieties, and changing relationships to sports, pets, and cities.
• Listener engagement: Regular mail, corrections, and audience in-jokes are central.
• Nostalgic for radio’s golden era: Stories of Howard Stern, Coast to Coast AM, classic radio bits, and longing for strong call-in formats.

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For First-Time Listeners

This episode epitomizes TBTL’s unique blend of digression, nostalgia, and heart. If you enjoy a show where meandering conversations about poodles, dartboards, classic radio, and sports heartbreak coexist with genuinely funny repartee and self-aware vulnerability, #4550 is quintessential TBTL.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

Are you a professional ukulele player?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, no, I'm a writer. What do you write?

[Luke Burbank]

T shirts.

[Andrew Walsh]

Really? I wrote Save the Dolphins.

[Luke Burbank]

Excuse me.

[Andrew Walsh]

What do you mean you wrote it? I wasn't the first person to say it. I was the first person to put it on a T shirt.

[Luke Burbank]

Did you do life as a beach?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I wish. TBTL the faces may not look familiar, but the voices. This zany radio team have developed a unique style of frolicking on the airwaves. I'll tell you another thing. Once you step inside this circle, the weather never changes. It is always 67 degrees with a 40% chance of rain. Always. I just want to use my muscles.

[Luke Burbank]

And my mind and be your number one guy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Using my muscles and my mind. Now it's time for jazz.

[Luke Burbank]

Jazz equals jazz.

[Andrew Walsh]

Today we have a recording of Benny Goodman played over a separate recording of Miles Davis.

[Luke Burbank]

This party is going to be off the hook. Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Tuesday edition of TBT all the show. It just might be too beautiful to live. I need you to understand something so good. Check it out. My name's Luke Burbank. I'm your host. I think this guy's sense of humor never developed past junior high school. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia. Once again, I've got a standard poodle, Gigi, supervising the program. My dog is barking. That is not my dog. And, you know, yesterday on the show, I was talking about how good for me, I think spiritually and emotionally, having a dog out here is. I'm gonna up the ante on that. I think medically, I need to get a dog. And I'm gonna explain why as we continue on here with episode 4550 in a collector series, Let the fun begin. There are so many things about the current administration in Washington that I find truly awful, truly dangerous to this country and our way of life. There is one thing they did do, though, that was, I think, a good idea, which is they're gonna stop making us take our shoes off at the airport. And that raises the question, is it worth it to get the TSA pre check anymore now that we maybe don't have to take our shoes off, even if we're in the normal.

[Andrew Walsh]

Does it waste the time to do that?

[Luke Burbank]

The New York Times has run the numbers, and we'll tell you what they're finding out about that. Oh, and we're gonna find out what's going on with this guy. He's the Longest running cobra of the show, obviously. Maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He and I have been doing this show together for so many years. We are so in sync. We're finishing each other.

[Andrew Walsh]

Derek.

[Luke Burbank]

He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend, Derek.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hey, Luke. You're going to. Well, I don't think you are going to like me going on this little journey again, but as you were talking about one minute ago, I got a random text message, presumably from a scammer that just says, what's the plan for tomorrow? And again, I think the proper response is like, oh, I think you have the wrong number. Who is this? And then they chat you up. Instead, I responded, same deal as last week, except Jan is bringing the snacks this time.

[Luke Burbank]

See, now, that does not indicate your riches that they might seek to plunder. You should be just, you know, swimming around in my doubloons, right McDuck style.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know, I just thought it was funny to say that Jan is bringing the snacks, but otherwise it's going to be the same as last week. I'll let you know if they respond.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, I feel like you're getting your heart broken, though, on the regular with this. You're the only person that I know who actively engages with these scam techs. And it's just hoping at some point that they'll invite you over to WhatsApp. They'll invite you to slip into something more comfortable. And the fact that that's never happened, I think this is actually hurting your self esteem.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you mind if I slip into something a little more WhatsApp? I know I am like Claudette Colbert on the side of the road showing all the leg that I can possibly muster. And these scammers are getting no takers. They're just whizzing by with other. With other less willing targets in the. In the passenger side of the Best Friend's Ride. Andrew.

[Luke Burbank]

It's all about, you know, it's. You gotta. You gotta sort of create some mystique. You gotta play a little bit of hard to get. You're playing easy to get. And I think that's the problem.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like Jan and her snacks. Yeah, nothing yet. All right. Anyway, what's going on with you? How's the dog?

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my gosh, Andrew. I know. Yesterday I was. I have a whole, as you can tell, internal conversation between me and the listeners when I start talking about how happy it makes me to have a dog here just because I did get a cat and then go out for a pack of smokes and never come back for bubbles. The listeners, I think at least some of them do not think that I have the maturity to be a pet owner, and they might be right. But that being said, I have decided that medically, I need to get a dog because of how much better I feel with Gigi being out here and also with the experiences that I am having. Okay. This morning, Andrew, I decided so yesterday I took Gigi on a run, but after a couple of miles, she. She wasn't protesting, but she was definitely not running as fast as I was. It was the kind of thing where I had the leash. Like, I was kind of jogging ahead of her. I wasn't pulling on her neck. I would never do that. But it didn't. It seemed like what she wanted to do was go on a walk, on a brisk walk. It didn't seem like she was into jogging. So I decided that this morning, instead of trying to take her on a jog, I was going to take her on a walk around my neighborhood. Now, one of the things about my neighborhood that I've always complained about is that it has a walkability score of zero in my mind, but that's only because I've never tried to walk it. Andrew I've always driven. Like, I live kind of out in this odd. It's not really rural per se, but it's, you know, it's a sort of. It's a neighborhood where there are homes, but there are no sidewalks. And I've always. And it's very hilly. I'm on, you know, I'm perched high above the mighty Columbia. And so my thought has always been if I were to try to jog around here or go on a walk, first of all, I would feel menaced by cars. I don't like being. I don't like walking on a road that doesn't have a defined sidewalk or very large shoulder. Something that I have. I heard the story of Stephen King being hit on a walk once by a truck, and it changed something inside of me.

[Andrew Walsh]

A lot of material out of it, though. I just think about the upside of that.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, I will consider it for year 20 of TBTL. If we need a plot twist, I will consider getting wailed on by a truck on a rural road. But I mean, seriously, I've told people, oh, I really love being out here. Obviously, it's. The view is really beautiful and I enjoy it. The one thing I wish was different was that I can't walk anywhere. I've just said this. This has been a truism that I have embraced. And I don't know how many years I've been out here or how many years I've had this place. Andrew, literally for the first time this morning, I went on a walk in my neighborhood and guess what? It's awesome. Guess what? One of my neighbors has goats. I didn't even know that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let me ask you a question. This sounds pedantic, but it's a real question. When you talk about walkability scores, that's like the ability to walk to things that you need. Right. It's not just, can you go on a pleasant walk?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I think that they're.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Walkability, when you're on like a real estate website or something, I think definitely has to do with access to services.

[Andrew Walsh]

Or access to groceries because that's always a huge thing in our conversation. So you're not talking about that. You're just saying, yeah, there are nice places to walk in the rural area.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, it's both.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is both.

[Luke Burbank]

Has anybody seen my dartboard there?

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't get it. Who's playing that dartboard?

[Luke Burbank]

Do we. Can we let the listeners in on this whole thing for a moment?

[Andrew Walsh]

Sure. Oh, you want me to take the lead on it? Okay, so only because it's your.

[Luke Burbank]

Because it's, it's, it's your pet peeve.

[Andrew Walsh]

That very quick reference that Luke and I just both made was to a Miller Light commercial that we quote all the time. Right. And it's got. Who's the main guy in it? Luke Wilson. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

And then various other one time Seattle Seahawks tight end. I decided that Luke is the number one name amongst white tight ends in the NFL.

[Andrew Walsh]

Who are the others? I know when you say it.

[Luke Burbank]

A guy on San Francisco yesterday.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's two people. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

It's Luke Wilson. And then the guy on San Francisco who's named Luke.

[Andrew Walsh]

Then one of the most popular names amongst Jedis as well. Has anybody ever brought that up with you before?

[Luke Burbank]

No.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's a movie. I'll tell you about that. That's another tangent. I'll tell you about it later. I don't know if you're into sci fi or not. Genevieve says it's not sci fi Anyway.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm only into romantic.

[Andrew Walsh]

I can get into that. Anyway, we always talk about that commercial where there's some kind of beer vendor, the background saying it, you know, it is both. It is both because it's the old.

[Luke Burbank]

We don't have to choose between drinks.

[Andrew Walsh]

That taste great or less and it's just. It's always made me laugh because the guy just starts taking over this chant. It is both. It is both when nobody else is chanting it. And it's goofy and he's got a big mustache and a lot of energy. And I love this commercial. We quote it all the time. But I also, off air, mentioned to Luke the other day that one of my obsessions lately is noticing in TV commercials, TV shows, movies, anything on the screen, the desire of prop coordinators to put dartboards into scenes in places where obviously nobody could ever play darts there. Putting a dartboard in a scene is just a. Like, it's a. It's sort of a visual cue. It's a shortcut to saying, hey, this is a fun but somewhat disheveled atmosphere or something. Like, dartboards indicate things. And that's why these, you know, coordinators want to grab them and put them on the walls in these scenes. But then I look at that, I'm like, why is that dartboard at chest level with no room to go anywhere back to throw a dart? Like, why is it in the corner of the room? Why is it against a window? Or you know what I mean?

[Luke Burbank]

Why is it in front of that orphanage with no backdrop? Why are we throwing darts in a way that would clearly hit an orphan?

[Andrew Walsh]

Why is it floating in the sky on a beach? Not unlike a Stephen King novel. Anyway, I was telling you, this is an obsession of mine off air the other day. And then I was grabbing a screenshot of my favorite Miller Light commercial. It is both. It is both to send it to somebody as a meme in a text conversation I was having. And then in. In my grabbing of that on my phone, I was like, what the hell? This commercial has a dartboard. Now, keep in mind, this is a beer vendor or some sort of stadium stad, and he is behind the counter. Nobody could get onto his side of it. And what is next to him hanging on the wall because they needed something to kill the dead space there. They put a dartboard, a useless dartboard on a brick wall.

[Luke Burbank]

By the way, can you imagine approaching the beer guy at the stadium? He says, what can I get you? And you say, nothing, I'm just playing cricket here.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. You just have to hand me the darts. I'm going to throw three darts. You're going to bring them to me.

[Luke Burbank]

I've got an AI generated standup comedy conversation about darts that I'd like to lay on you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. Oh, somebody wrote in to say one of those jokes about getting doubles the Thing we were missing was doubles, was some sort of a pastry or a snack or something in England. So it had a double meaning about both getting doubles on the dartboard. Anyway, that is why when Luke and I now start screaming, it is both now you know that it's part of a Miller Light campaign. And also it feeds into my obsession with people putting dartboards in weird places in tv.

[Luke Burbank]

So the listeners can now look for this themselves. You can be our fact checking. Cuz is. And if you see a commercial where there is a dart or anything, it could be. Yeah, you see anything, film, television commercial, what have you, where they've put a dartboard in, obviously to just try to like indicate a vibe. But it would be impossible to play darts on the board. Let us know we're we're creating a list and we're going to submit it to the FBI.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. Also shout out to the TV show the boys. They have sort of a kind of a messy kind of HQ situation going on. And they have a dartboard that's hanging on a kind of a pillar in the middle of the room. And I think I clocked it and was like, I don't know about that. But later on somebody does sort of like they're not having a dart game, but somebody is kind of like talking about the plan or whatever they're doing and they kind of absentmindedly take the darts off the board and throw them at the dartboard. I'm like, okay, you've proven your point.

[Luke Burbank]

So in the Miller Lake commercial, if you did see somebody at the stadium throw a dart at that board, it would. It would be weird, but it would for you. Then move it out of the category of non functional dartboard.

[Andrew Walsh]

It would clearly be part of the plot. Genevieve and I did a whole show about commercials involving people playing darts. And I believe we called it who Darted? And that was like people act. There's a. Probably one of your friends worked on this commercial for Washington State Lotto a few years ago. I know one of your friends worked on it because you told me that there's somebody in this. Do you remember the Washington. We gotta get back to your dog story.

[Luke Burbank]

But is this where campaign where the woman is swimming in ranch dressing?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, that was. It was. It was like a year or two after that. But you pointed out this commercial to me because, you know, one of the people in it, or you know of him, it is a group of people in their maybe 20s and they're playing darts in a bar and they're throwing them at a dartboard to decide where to go on vacation. I guess once they win the lottery, it's very confusing how it's connected to the lottery. But then one person throws an errant dart, and it goes into a guy's hat, and he's wearing, like, a trucker hat that says Nebraska on it. And at first you think, oh, there's going to be a bar fight or something. But instead, the guy just sort of smiles and they're like, we're going to Nebraska. And the guy wearing the hat is somebody that you have recognized before. This does not ring any bells.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm watching it right now. I believe it's technically called Squad Up.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. There you go.

[Luke Burbank]

It's the name of the commercial. Let's see. I'll put the audio on. Why not? I'll bring the list.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm excited for you to see this guy's face because you're going to say, oh, yeah, I'm excited for that guy. Next week's plans. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Where are we going?

[Andrew Walsh]

African safari cruise. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, it's, you know, it's our friend who was the karaoke DJ at the Mandarin Gate.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. I didn't remember that. I don't think I know this guy.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you've certainly. You've witnessed him handing me a microphone.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

And then me going up and just absolutely dazzling the crap. Boy, the Mandarin Gates getting a lot of attention on the show this week, considering it doesn't even exist anymore. But, yeah, I think his name is Drew and he is a very talented fella. And among other things, along with being an actor in the northwest, he was our karaoke guy at the Mandarin Gate. And that is why it was notable to me.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is both. Is his. Is his hat say Nebraska?

[Luke Burbank]

It actually says Wyoming.

[Andrew Walsh]

I knew I was going to get that wrong. I knew I was going to get that wrong. Other than that, I think I did a pretty good remembering that commercial.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely. So back to the walkability of my neighborhood. Well, again, it's a zero because you can't walk to.

[Andrew Walsh]

But you like, you enjoy it, so it's very walkable and enjoyable.

[Luke Burbank]

But I've never. Andrew, this is the thing I have never walked. I have never taken a walk in my neighborhood in all of the years that I have lived at this house, owned this house, what have you. I realized this morning as I was walking Gigi around, I've never actually. I've only driven. I mean, this sounds insane.

[Andrew Walsh]

What about your bike? Aren't these the same roads that you bike around?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, but what I've noticed is biking is different still. Like, it's an E bike. I'm going pretty fast. I got my headphones in. There's just like. I'm not observing things like homes and yards and just little details. Like, you don't see the same details when you're driving a car. And I have not noticed the same details when I'm on the bike because I'm also. Again, it's still a sort of a vehicle. You know, I'm thinking about braking. I'm thinking about a bunch of different stuff. I'm going pretty fast again because of it being an E bike. When a Gigi and I were out just walking, I mean, so many things happened. One, I made friends with the local school children. These kids, were these the cutest little. Three little towheads you've ever seen in your life were out waiting for the bus, and they said, can we pet your dog? And I said, absolutely. Her name is Gigi. And this little girl, I'm going to send you a picture of this, just fully wraps her arms around Gigi's neck and neck and goes, I love your dog.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now, you didn't ever correct them. You're just totally taking credit. Stolen ballot total 100%. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. I told her that I was Gigi's mother. That was how weird I did, to be honest with you, Andrew. And this is a very sad thing about living in 2025. I did have a moment of wondering, am I allowed to talk to children that I don't know? And, you know, like, I know what my intentions are, and they're not weird, but, like, I was at the beginning a little nervous. These three adorable kids, I think, you know, maybe the oldest being in third grade, two brothers and a sister, and they wanted to pet Gigi. And they were telling me about their dog, but they were pretty far away from their house. You know, they were down at the road where the school bus was going to come get them. And I wanted to. I was just sort of imagining their parents maybe in the house kind of looking down at feller with a dog who's talking to their kids. And I just was like, I didn't. I didn't know. I was trying to affect a posture that said, not a creep. I don't know how you do that.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know, but I try it all the time.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what I mean? I'm serious.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

I really wanted. I wanted to radiate an energy that said, this is not. I did not get this dog in order to get small children to talk to me about this dog. And I do not own a van. Never have, never will. But these kids were so unbelievably cute, and they had such a fun time petting the dog. And then, luckily, the school bus showed up. I said, hey, perfect timing. All right, I'll see you later. And I keep walking. And then the bus picks them up. And then as the bus is going by, the bus driver slows down and he opens the door and he goes, that is a great looking dog. And then he says, are you walking her or is she walking you? And then I hit him with, I'll tell you when I know.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, man. If she were a little bit bigger, you might get a. Can I pet your horse? Which is one of Genevieve's favorite things to say to somebody walking a really big.

[Luke Burbank]

It was a beautiful moment. And then I heard the little girl who had hugged Gigi from the back of the bus go, I know that dog.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hey, listen, I got to play something for you here. It's 22 seconds. It's of a joke that I thought was the height of humor when I was a kid. And you're going to hate. I'll tell you what it is after we hear the audio.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

Does your dig bad. Oh, nice.

[Luke Burbank]

Dirty.

[Andrew Walsh]

I thought you said your dog did not bite. That is not my dog. Can you even tell?

[Luke Burbank]

Is that from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, it's from the Pink Panther Strikes Again. Could you even tell what any of that dialogue was? I forgot.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it's funny. I think that's a very funny joke, actually.

[Andrew Walsh]

Does your dog bite? No, it bites him. He's like, says, it is not my dog.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, I love. That's a solid joke.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is.

[Luke Burbank]

So the bus driver is talking to me, and I'm like. And then I also felt like I was 100% in the clear on not being a creep. The bus drivers seen me with the children, has judged me to be non weird. Is also interacting with me and the dog. The little girl on the bus is like, I know that dog. Again, I'm. I'm. I get down to a block from my house. Also, it turns out that, like, when you're walking, it is. This neighborhood is sprawling. Like, the other thing for me has been like, well, if I were ever to go on a run or a walk here in the neighborhood, I would have to go out to this kind of. There's a big, high, sort of not a big highway, but there's like a. There's a pretty busy road down at the base of the hill. And my thought was always like, well, I'd have to go down there just to even get anywhere or to get some miles in. But no, it's sprawling out here. Like we took a 45 minute walk and we never even left the hill, Gigi and I. And so we take a left down this other road and again, I'm just observing things about the neighborhood that I've just never even looked at, including the fact that one street over, these people have a whole ass field of goats that are adorable. The goats came over, we said hi to them.

[Andrew Walsh]

Did you mention your CVS story? Did you try to drop.

[Luke Burbank]

I asked any of them if they practice yoga, if they know any of the goat yoga goats. But like, I know that I seem like I'm being extra. I was a little wound up about this on my walk. But like I didn't even know that there were goats I could go visit in my neighborhood a 10 minute walk away. And then I walked down to the, to this sort of dead end where they're building this house that I've always been fascinated with. But I've never wanted to be a creep. And like they're building this house like one hill over from me. And I've been observing it from afar, but I haven't wanted to go over there because I didn't want to be nosy. And also I'm always in my car. It's kind of weirder to drive your car into someone's driveway and get out and go like, hey, you're building a house. But it was non weird when I'm walking the dog. So I just walked down there and I checked it out. They're doing this really cool thing. Like I, I had an experience this morning here in my neighborhood that was honestly very, I don't want to say like life changing would be overstating it, but it, it fundamentally changed how I think about using this neighborhood. And of course I'm figuring this all out right as we're about to move into the less great weather. But like next spring, get up in the morning, if it's a day I'm not jogging or whatever, get up in the morning and just like walk around the neighborhood and breathe the air and say hi to the neighbors. And like, I literally like was see some goats. Like this whole story I've been telling myself about this neighborhood and that it has, it's terrible to walk in was just completely and totally laid bare for the lie that it was. And only because of having Gigi here. I would have never just gone on that walk by myself. I don't know why. That's just. I guess not like I used to when I had Rudy in Bellingham. Almost every day, we would go on a very long walk. There's something about me having a dog that causes me. We took a walk yesterday down in town after our jog. We went back in the afternoon, and we walked all around the one. The one neighborhood where you see any pride flags in Longview, Washington. I very much clocked it. Like, this is. I'm among friends.

[Andrew Walsh]

Long views, Capitol Hill.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. Precisely. It's three blocks.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's three houses.

[Luke Burbank]

I did have a weird experience. Well, I don't. I wouldn't say. I don't know if it cla. If it qualifies as weird, but it was surprising to me. So I'm walking around the one. The one woke neighborhood in Longview, Washington, yesterday with. With the dog. And as I've mentioned, she is a. She's a quite beautiful black standard poodle with bows in her hair and a little kind of bedazzled, you know, collar, I guess you would say. And we're walking around the neighborhood, and I spy, like, across the street, but walking in a different direction, a woman who is walking a pure white standard poodle. So the mirror opposite of Gigi.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's a real spy versus spy situation.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely. They're both carrying mallets for some reason, but behind their backs. And I see this. I clock this woman and this and this dog. And I think, oh, it's too bad we're not walking closer to each other, because, like, this is pretty funny that we both have this exact kind of dog, but just in the opposite sort of expression. And then as it happens, as I'm working my way through the neighborhood and now we're going back towards the car, I see. Oh, funny. I'm now walking directly towards this woman who's now walking directly towards me and Gigi, and she has her dog. And I am. As I'm approaching this woman, I'm already considering, like, I'll probably. We'll probably have a conversation. I'm probably gonna take a picture. I'm gonna send it to Becca. Like, I'm playing out this whole interaction that is going to happen. And when the woman gets to me, she does not slow down. She does not, like, comment. I mean, there's no way she could miss it. The dogs went, like, an inch from each other, and at no time did this person seem at all to note or to be intrigued or to have Any sort of reaction to the fact that we just walked by with the exact same dog in different colors, and I thought, oh, that's not what I was expecting. I expected there to be some conversation.

[Andrew Walsh]

When you have a dog that gets a lot of attention, you know, like, it sounds like both of these dogs are the types of dogs that are going to get people to stop and say, oh, what a beautiful dog. I would do that for almost any dog. But there are certain dogs that get more attention than others. I always do wonder if the people who've had that dog for a while, they like it up to a point, and depends on the person's personality as well. I think you really enjoy that kind of stuff, whereas some people might just be like, I don't want to stop. For every single person who sees my dog and notes that it's a striking dog, I just want to continue my walk. I always wonder about that. I'm not. I'm not laying this necessarily at your feet of. Of your expectations here, but I, as somebody who doesn't have a dog, I'm always like, very much like, can I say hello to your dog? I always ask it very sheepishly because I want them to know that no is a totally fine answer that I understand and accept.

[Luke Burbank]

I agree with you. Or I can see a person getting a dog and then it being the kind of dog that people tend to comment on. Like. Like, if you get a Great Dane.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Speaking of, can I pet, you know, what kind of horse is that? Like, the amount of comment. I mean, I can't even stop it. Like, I saw somebody with a Great Dane a while ago, and I was like, don't, don't. Don't do it. Don't say it. Don't do it, girl. I did it, girl. I can't. You just actually, you know what it was? This person got into the elevator at Becca's apartment building with a Great Dane that probably stood five feet off the ground. And like, we get into the first floor, and I'm like, don't say anything. This guy has been talking about this Great Dane since he first got it. But by, like, the 13th floor, I couldn't hold. I don't know if they have a 13th floor there, by the way. That's something that they do sometimes in office buildings, right? They literally don't have a 13th floor.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. Some buildings. I don't know if it's offices or hotels or just general high rises. I think I've been in those before. That seems like such a. Such a weird Thing. But generally speaking, you have a pretty good track record with relationships with people named Dane, right? So you sort of thought right away.

[Luke Burbank]

I think they're great. Andrew. That's an inside joke we won't be expanding on. But I couldn't. Let me get out my dart. He's got a dart. I could not contain myself and I said something about the, about the great. So I, I understand that being a thing for people. In this case, what I thought was interesting was we had the same dog. I feel like, however tired of poodle conversations this person might be, the fact that we had the same dog but in exact opposite colors would at least be like, nice dog. Or oh, hey, that's funny. Or what's the dog's name? Or just, I don't know. I was expecting there to be a.

[Andrew Walsh]

Reaction or at least nod, like an ice.

[Luke Burbank]

A nod, like poodle owner to poodle, pretend owner. I was. And just like nothing happened. But whatever, that's fine. All that is to say I, I'm not getting a dog in the near future, but at some point, as God is my witness, Andrew, I am. I have to get a dog at some point out here. I have to figure out a way. It may involve a lifestyle change. It may involve me having to retire from various other jobs slash get fired, which always feels like a possibility. But like being out here walking around this neighborhood with this dog, it was, it was a revelation for me. It made me so happy. Like I felt my emotional well being increase dramatically over the course of the last.

[Andrew Walsh]

Whatever.

[Luke Burbank]

It's been 48 hours that I've been out here with this dog.

[Andrew Walsh]

I have a question for you that I was not going to raise because it's going to sound like a judgy question and the fact of the matter is I think it is a judgy question. I apologize for that.

[Luke Burbank]

I try not to put you on. That might be why it sounds like that.

[Andrew Walsh]

I try not to put you on the spot too much. But you did say something during the show yesterday that I accepted in the moment and then I thought about later and I couldn't quite figure out and it definitely is. It's tied into this and your record of pet ownership. Why is it you said that you couldn't keep Bubbles before because there was a lot of construction going on and like you couldn't keep like a stable place to keep her in the house. Your house isn't. Why, why is it harder for you to keep a cat inside than it is for me to keep my cat inside?

[Luke Burbank]

I Think. Well, that's a good question. Okay, the. But I'll give you the sort of the series of events and that have led us to the place that we're at now.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

So when the house was under construction, there was one time when Bubbles was out here because, you know, in the early days, she was staying out here, and I would have her on a tether, and I would put her outside, and she somehow got off the tether this one night, and she started going down the hill so that, you know, there's the house and then there's this kind of steep hill that's about an acre that's at the foot of the property. And it's got this long, tall grass, and it goes into these woods. And I know for a fact that there's, you know, coyotes and bobcats and things that live down there, because my neighbor has a trail cam. Anyway, she started going down this hill, and I went after her, and I, like, literally caught her by, like, her back paw, like, her rear leg paw. And I had this feeling that if I had not gotten her by that paw, I would have maybe never seen her again. Now, maybe that's paranoia on my part. Maybe she would have gone down the hill and gotten, you know, seen what she wanted to see and then wanted to come back. She does not seem to have a particularly strong. She's not. She doesn't seem bonded to anyone, Bubbles, in that way. Like, I don't think she's. So all that is to say that freaked me out. And it made me think, look, if she's here at the house, like, for instance, at Becca's house, Becca lives in a high rise apartment building, and there have been multiple times where neighbors have brought Bubbles to Becca's apartment and said, your cat got out because she's very sneaky. And so, like, in those cases, Becca was doing something, the door was open for a moment, and somehow Bubbles snuck out. But the repercussions of that are pretty minimal. She's just wandering around the hallway of an apartment building. My fear is that if she were to sneak out of this house, it's very possible that she would just wander off into the woods, which seems to me to be a more dangerous situation than maybe bingo, wandering off in your neighborhood. I don't know if that's true or not.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, we have coyotes. We have a lot of, like, cats. Wandering around is not great. It just sort of seems like. I understand at a certain point. And it's very scary to lose a cat or to almost lose a cat. I mean, Veebs and I, you know, that we've plastered neighborhoods with poster like, it is very, very scary. But it is just part of cat ownership as well. You got to be careful, keep them inside. Bingo started darting, I think. Who darted? I. Bingo started darting. Who arted? It's fren because he used to be very curious about going outside. And Genevieve will take him outside on a leash, which sort of I actually think, and I would have never guessed this because I'm very much alike. You just keep them inside, you close all the doors. Don't let them get a taste of that outside. Right. I feel like there's a Shawshank redemption analogy there somewhere. But I don't know if I could draw it all together. But I actually think Genevieve taking Bingo on little walks has given him a relationship with the outside that is sort of a double edged sword. I think he now feels like it's his right to go outside when he wants to, but he. He doesn't go as far maybe as he would like. When Theo would get outside, he knew he was doing something wrong. And so if he saw me catching him go outside, he'd run even faster or whatever. Whereas Bingo just goes outside. He's like, I'm just going to chew some plants. I'm like, you can't do that, dude. And I scoop him up. And so luckily we've trained him. But it is always like, it's a. It's a really scary thing. And there's always going to be moments in a cat owner's life if you have an indoor cat where they get outside or you think they get outside and it's going to scare the living hell out of you.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel. I don't want to sound defensive about this, but I do feel like I would be less afraid if I lived in your neighborhood of bubbles getting out. For me, personally, I'm just talking about my feeling. I'm not saying that you shouldn't be worried if Bingo gets out, but like, if. If I lived in or even just a neighborhood in Portland that was, you know, your typical urban environment where you have houses and fences and people have pets and like a cat. Again, I'm not trying to. I'm not trying to erase the true fear and terror that you guys felt when your cats have gotten out and that I would. I think I would totally be freaked out. But there's something about being out here that feels freakier to me. Just me personally, if bubbles were to go missing, and maybe it's just because there aren't Very many neighbors. And I feel like the walking through other backyards and seeing if the cat's. There is one kind of experience versus out here, it's like, what do I do? Go into the woods or something? Again, this could just be my paranoia. But here's the real thing that happened because Bubbles started staying at Becca's house. And then Bubbles and Holly became kind of this weird, odd couple where Holly is Becca's cat, who's very, like, mellow and like, just like low hassle, low drama, doesn't really get into things, and Bubbles gets into everything. They have this kind of weird symbiosis now where Bubbles, I think, really likes Hollywood, like, really likes having Holly around. I don't know if Holly likes Bubbles, but she tolerates her. And Becca likes having Bubbles there now. So what's happened is in the intervening, like, couple of years, they have a little thing going. And if I were to bring Bubbles out here would actually. I think it would bum Bubbles out to not be around Holly and Becca, and I think it would bum Becca out. So that's also another factor in it now. Like, it's almost because again, if you haven't picked up on this in the last two days, I'm a little lonely out here. Like, I really like having this dog because it's somebody for me to talk to and it's something to do. You know, it's like, it's just nice to have another living being here. And having Bubbles out here would feel the same way to me. Like, I would like to have Bubbles out here so that, you know, as annoying as she is, so that I could just interact with her. I really liked living with her when she lived in my apartment in Portland. So it's not. It's. It's a kind of a combination of things. And who knows what'll happen in the future. Maybe she will somehow end up living out here. But at the moment, it seems like really the best. The best way for things to go. And this is again, not just because I don't want the responsibility of the cat, but it's just she's kind of got a thing going in Portland with Holly and Becca. So I'm just kind of like, I'm letting it lie, as it were.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. We had to just ask that for all of the people who emailed and texted yesterday and said, I heard Becca's getting a new dog. Just wanted to throw that. I don't know if you were getting the same.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what? Have your fun, people. Have your fun. I like, I'M very, you know, how do I put it? I'm gonna sound too defensive if I, if I go, if I go down that road. But like, someday I will have a dog and, and I will make me very happy and I have a feeling that I'll be able to be responsible for that dog. But I guess only time will tell.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you, baby.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, let's thank some donors. These folks are making TBTL possible with their generous donations. We were talking the other day, Andrew, about some folks we know that are, that have a podcast and are going to be doing a fundraiser kind of similar to the thon. And I said casually to you, I said something about this business model that I believe we founded.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I mean, I kind of think.

[Luke Burbank]

We might have, I mean, not to pat ourselves on the back too hard, but I kind of, as far as being a for profit business that is relies on donations from the listeners as opposed to commercials or paywalls or things. I think we might have invented this particular business model and we might be one of a very, very short list of shows doing it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, Max Fun might take some issue with that.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a good point.

[Andrew Walsh]

But what we are doing here in tbtl, and not that it's a contest, but like, it is a unique relationship we have with our listeners. You know, I don't, we don't have to open the books on Max Fun and us and how it works, but like, Max Fun also has a whole bunch of different podcasts that reach a whole bunch of different people. We have a, I mean, I say this with all pride, a boutique number of listeners. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

I like to call it an intimate experience. That's how you sell it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, that's what you were telling the kids at the bus stop and that's why the bus driver had to whisk them away. But no, it is true. And it's like, I think it's sort of adapted. At first it was like, hey, we're going to do public. We're public radio people. Let's do a public radio radio style fun drive. But to have taken it into this era of podcasting and broadcasting, there aren't a lot of folks who are doing what we're doing. Especially the connection that listeners have to what we're doing and the importance of keeping it going is really astounding.

[Luke Burbank]

It really is. And we really need to thank Kayla Forzale of Tampa, Florida today for being one of our supporters. Thanks, Kayla. Also, John Jordan, who's in London, England. You know, I just saw the location of London, England. I thought, oh, maybe our friend Bean is subscribing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, you saw, you read it. You read it from city, then you go back and check.

[Luke Burbank]

I think I must go, I must go, like left to right a little bit because I just saw London, England. I got a little pitter patter because I thought because I'm a patreon, I'm a patron of cup of tea in a chat. And I thought, oh, good. Well, maybe Bean saw that I'm supporting his show, so he's supporting our show.

[Andrew Walsh]

Bean supports our show. Bean supports. He does, yeah, he does. He's not, not, not on these lists, but he's a Bean.

[Luke Burbank]

Thanks, buddy. And thanks to John.

[Andrew Walsh]

Listen.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, this is about John Jordan.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is. Don't listen.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you, John Jordan. Yeah, thanks. Also, this is also about James Drabik, who's in Needham, Massachusetts. Would you say Needham or Needham?

[Andrew Walsh]

I would say Needham. I say that.

[Luke Burbank]

Want them. Needham got him.

[Andrew Walsh]

I would say that with maybe, I'm going to say 85, 87% confidence.

[Luke Burbank]

Sounded right when I said need them.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's how they say things over there. Need them. Exactly. Want them.

[Luke Burbank]

Need them. They, they, they need them. A quarterback for the New England Patriots. I don't know if the Drake may experience experiment is working.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know what I always say about James? We need him to keep supporting tbtl.

[Luke Burbank]

We sure do. And he's doing it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you, James.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you, James. Thanks also to Corinne Reese taking her hot air balloon for a ride there in Florence, Alabama.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you, Corinne.

[Luke Burbank]

Appreciate you. And then we've got Lindsay Joy in Palo Alto, California.

[Andrew Walsh]

Beautiful Palo Alto.

[Luke Burbank]

Beautiful Palo Alto. Beautiful and affordable. Palo Alto, California.

[Andrew Walsh]

Why do you say that? Is that. Was that.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I think it's notoriously a difficult place to live.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it's one of the tonier, Tonier areas. Of course, I don't know what that says about Lindsay's particular life and things, but I just always think of, I mean, partially also because it's where Stanford is. I think Stanford was like. Because growing up on the West Coast, I didn't have a whole thing with, like, Harvard or the Ivies. That wasn't in my mind a big deal because I didn't grow up on the East Coast. I certainly didn't come from people who had any thoughts about, like, you know, is Luke going to get into, you know, Penn or Brown or Yale or whatever. But I remember knowing Stanford was really, really academically hard to get into and was really just like that. Was the, the cradle of learning in my mind was Stanford in Palo Alto, California. When the Huskies would go down to play Stanford in football games in Palo Alto, it always made an impression in my mind for some reason.

[Andrew Walsh]

Would you say that Stanford, and I'm not saying this to put you on the spot or to hurt any feelings of other institutions, the Supreme Court said that institutions can have feelings, so we have to be careful here.

[Luke Burbank]

But is Stanford but only the only Duck Dynasty University, Right. Not any of these other ones that are doing all this trans research?

[Andrew Walsh]

We'll hear that at some point too, before a football game.

[Luke Burbank]

Just Donald Trump has declared Duck Dynasty University to be the national champions, even though they lost every game.

[Andrew Walsh]

JUSTIN Clark, Duck Dynasty University. You didn't know what I was trying to like, trying to think I got there. Yeah, but no, Stanford would be the institution that has both the highest level of academics and the highest level at least of football. Right. Like, if you're measuring like kind of.

[Luke Burbank]

Two College, probably, I would say probably. I mean, Cal Berkeley probably gives it a run because Cal is also a very good school. But I would say, and again, Bears, are they the, they are the Golden Bears.

[Andrew Walsh]

Please.

[Luke Burbank]

Peace and love to people that went to Stanford or any other institution. You know, if you, I'm sure that, I'm sure every college has a particularly or has a very challenging, you know, academic track that one can do. But I would say you're probably right in my mind of like, you know, the like Harvard obviously, famously very academically rigorous, but the Harvard football team is never going to be challenging for the, you know, I don't even know at the Ivy League Championship. You're never going to be playing in the like, they didn't, they've never had Andrew Luck.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

As Stanford did famously.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, I mean, there, there were the Andrew Luck years and other years where like Stanford, yeah, it was a very competitive team in the Pac12.

[Andrew Walsh]

And Dave Wyman I always think of as well, which I don't think he's as much of a name outside of this region. Dave Wyman or I Dave Wyman, people wouldn't know his name like I do outside of this region or would sports fans.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I, I, I, I don't think, I think you're right. I don't think he has a huge footprint of awareness outside of like Seahawk country. By the way, all my entire TikTok feed, Andrew is just including Dave Wyman. Although he, you know, Dave is such a measured guy. I love Dave Wyman. I'm such a Fan of his. He was breaking down. What went wrong for the Seahawks. Well, what went. What went right and what went wrong for the Seahawks on Sunday?

[Andrew Walsh]

I need to get into better veins of TikTok. So he's obviously, Dave isn't posting to TikTok. He doesn't know what a TikTok is, but people are clipping his shows.

[Luke Burbank]

Somebody at like the radio station has figured out that they need to start, you know, filming these guys and putting them on TikTok.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I need to. I need to get more into sports TikTok, because so far it's all just comedians and dancing. Go ahead.

[Luke Burbank]

He. He was, you know, breaking the game down and, and, and was pretty diplomatic about Reek Woollen's failure. But the rest of my TikTok feed is just non. How would I describe this? They're not, you know, people who are employed as sports journalists per se. They are just people who have sports takes. They are just guys in rooms yelling into their. Into their phone with a ring light, maybe. And the disgust with the play of Reek Woollen, our cornerback, who was burned on two plays that, that basically together kind of lost the game for us is. It's so satisfying.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Because you and I.

[Luke Burbank]

All I want is to keep watching people yelling at Reek Woollen. That's the only thing that gets me through the day right now.

[Andrew Walsh]

That and Gigi, you and I had a long conversation about the Seahawks before TBTL yesterday, and it's funny how our journeys with football are very different. That's another conversation that I was sort of thinking about a lot yesterday, even though the listeners haven't heard it. But like, I came, you know, I took off my volunteer gig so I could watch the game with star some friends. But it was a good time. I was bummed that the Seahawks lost, but I didn't. I didn't feel it the way a real fan feels it. And then I got on the line with you yesterday and you were like. And your experience was different. We talked about it a little bit on the show. You had. You had time shifted it. You had media blacked out everything so that it was. You did everything you could to have. To try to. To try to. What's what I'm looking for sort of like recreate the feeling of watching a football game live. Right. And it was a just devastating end of the game and you were still feeling it on Monday. And by the way, when I say feeling it in this case, I don't mean that like you were getting all drunk or anything. I Don't think that was part of it at all with you. It was just like an emotional. Absolute emotional letdown for you. And I was thinking about that. And I told you that when there was a fumble near the end of the game, it was so ridiculous to me that I felt bad. I kind of laughed out loud, but in kind of a maniacal way. And you were like, my God, I was not laughing. And then I thought back to how I used to feel about the Browns, and, like, how that shit isn't funny. Like, that shit.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I didn't take any.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, no. I know that you're not, but I just. I just. I know you didn't take offense, and I appreciate that. But it just got me really thinking about how. Oh, yeah, I need to acknowledge now. I. For real, I don't ever want to. In the parlance of you. And I. I don't want to be the person at the party who's like, why is everybody so sad when.

[Luke Burbank]

When the Patriot Day that will live in infamy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. When the Seahawks brutally lose a Super bowl in the very last play. Right. Like. And it occurred to me, oh, it's okay for me to be that person who is, in a certain way, Luke, and I'm being serious here. The angst that you brought into Monday morning, which I have felt before, when I was thinking about it later in the day, I was like, wow, I guess I just don't have that for football anymore. And I was like, that's okay. I don't need it. Like, I got the Mariners doing that for me. I got the federal government doing that for me.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely.

[Andrew Walsh]

But it's interesting how I especially, I think with the Browns kind of breaking my heart and me breaking my fandom from them, it has given me such a more cat. And we've talked about this over the past couple of seasons, but yesterday was a real example where I was like, wow, I really have drifted far away. Like, I like the idea of an NFL Sunday. I like the idea of mimosas a great deal.

[Luke Burbank]

Gotta get that vitamin C. You absolutely.

[Andrew Walsh]

Have to if you're gonna be drinking all day. But I was like, wow. I guess I really. But because of that, I do wanna be careful and remember that other people are burning over this shit. And also, as I turned on the radio throughout the day, it was just nothing but people complaining about Reek Woollett. And I was like, well, Luke knows what he's talking about. That is the. Today. I listened to the sports radio for five minutes in the morning. They're still having that conversation.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that's. That is very. It's weird to say, maybe gratifying is the wrong word, but somehow comforting. I guess it was comforting for me yesterday to see that there were people who were actually more unhinged about it than I was. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Because, like, I'm really mad at the guy and I was really bummed about that. I was. I was bummed about it. The more I thought about it, I'm actually in an okay place with it now. It's like, it is what it is. It's game one of the NFL season. They didn't. They could have been Miami going into Indianapolis and just getting absolutely. Just smoked. I mean, that's.

[Andrew Walsh]

At all.

[Luke Burbank]

They. I mean, they. A lot of folks thought that Indianapolis was going to be, like, one of the worst teams in the league, and they still may prove to be. I don't know. But. But they just. They just absolutely lapped Miami. I mean, TUA had like three turnovers. The game was never even close. I don't know how your Jalen Waddle guy did.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I don't have him this year. That was good. Years ago, I think my team was called a Waddle it be.

[Luke Burbank]

But. But, like, that would be pretty. Pretty. They're over. You know, you don't talk about end of an era. People there are officially declaring the Mike McDaniel era a complete failure, et cetera.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's. How are you a. Not to get all Stu Gotts, but he must be on the hot seat after week one, man. He was on the hot seat during the off season.

[Luke Burbank]

But, like, that's not the story for the Seahawks yet. Like, this is not like a complete failure. So anyway, my point is I'm sort of. I'm stabilizing emotionally now around this whole thing. But. And. And yet it was comforting to see people just screaming into their. Into their phones on TikTok about how mad they were about this thing. You know who I think was also taking it probably better than I was is Brandy Unruh, who's in Woodinville washing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. Because Randy cares about the Seahawks, but is also surrounded by vineyards and has the ability to cope thanks to those vineyards.

[Luke Burbank]

Speaking of the Seahawks, I remember, I don't know how I had heard a rumor when I was a kid that Steve Largent, the Seahawks receiver and the hero of my life as a kid, that he. He lived in Duval, but somehow in my mind, Woodinville and Duvall were kind of near each other. I don't know if when you're going to Woodinville, you see a sign for Duval, I had basically heard from someone that they had mowed Steve Larchant's lawn in Duval, Washington. And what I remember was that when we would go to my Aunt Alice and Uncle Tom's, they lived in Woodinville. Somehow I would see a sign for Duval, and I would just look at it, and I'd think, that's where Steve Largent is. And I would be like, I had a dream that someday we would be driving out to Woodinville and we'd somehow end up in Duval, and I would see Steve Largent, and my life would be complete. I was so obsessed with Steve Largent and thereby obsessed with Duvall and thereby obsessed with Woodinville because it seemed like it was Duvall adjacent, I thought, you're.

[Andrew Walsh]

Gonna try to get this kid's job. Like, I'll give you. I'll give you all of my lawn mowing money if I can mow that lawn.

[Luke Burbank]

That's some real kind of, like, Tom Sawyer, right? Like, I'll pay you to let me mow this lawn, Steve Larsen. I'll pay you to let me whitewash.

[Andrew Walsh]

This fence while the kid sits on a stool and watches.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, precisely. Well, thank you, Brandy, and thank you to all of our donors for making TVTL possible.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hello, and welcome to Top Story.

[Luke Burbank]

One more thing about my walk this morning, Andrew, was. And I don't know how interesting or relatable it is for me to talk to you about the Howard Stern Show.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I like it as a person.

[Luke Burbank]

Who, you know, and most of our listeners, other than our friend P. Fletch, most of our listeners are probably not as up on that show as I am. But, you know, there was a whole.

[Andrew Walsh]

But me and the listeners are. Understand what it's like to be kind of obsessed with a radio show that's real. That's why I find this stuff very interesting. I always love hearing about the other worlds that other people are involved with.

[Luke Burbank]

The. So last week, they were supposed to come back from their long. They take a pretty substantial summer break, and they were supposed to come back, and they did not come back on the day that they were due back. And it was this whole question of, like. And I didn't ever think that there was a realistic chance that he had been fired or, quote, unquote, canceled. But he didn't come back on the day he was supposed to come back. And there was all these rumors flying around, and so I was quite curious if he was actually going to come back yesterday. And he did. But here's how he started it. I was thinking, it's weird. Of course, if I'm ever listening to Stern, I'm thinking of. Of our friend Phyllis, because I immediately go into texting her mode about everything that I'm listening to on the show. But then after that, I think about you, Andrew, because you and I are radio buddies. And the way that the show started yesterday after months off and all this speculation about would they come back or not was. Do you know who Andy Cohen is? The. He's like. He's one of those. He's like a Bravo host.

[Andrew Walsh]

Does he have glasses?

[Luke Burbank]

He. I might wear reading glasses occasionally, but I wouldn't call him a glass.

[Andrew Walsh]

This isn't who I was picturing. Okay. He's a comedian and a talk show host. I don't. I know.

[Luke Burbank]

He's like a. He's very. He's the executive producer of all of these Real Housewife shows.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, okay.

[Luke Burbank]

He's kind of the sort of, you know, the. The. The king of that world. And he does all the, like, shows where they. They. He does a show called Watch what Happens Live, which actually, like, it's not really for me, but I'm so glad it exists because it's a live talk show on Bravo where they just have on lots of the, like, basically Bravo stars and other people, and it's just kind of a hang. Is the sense that I get. There's a certain amount of drinking that goes on. They may or may not take calls. It feels like it's a throwback to a different kind of content that we don't have enough of anymore, in my mind.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, I agree with that. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And he's also. But he's also got, like, a whole channel on Sirius that's like, you know, Andy Cohen world or something. He's friends with the Stern show is the whole point. Well, yesterday.

[Andrew Walsh]

So you're talking about how the show started.

[Luke Burbank]

So it started like how the Stern show starts.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. So it starts like this.

[Luke Burbank]

It didn't, though. That's the thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, okay. So what I'm doing there is I'm playing the theme song by Rob Zombie.

[Luke Burbank]

The Rob Zombie.

[Andrew Walsh]

American Nightmare usually begins every show. You hate it. I kind of like it. The rare occasion that I listen, it puts me in the mood for Howard. But.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, no, it was not American Nightmare. It was the Andy Cohen music. And then Andy Cohen gets on, and he's like, hey, it's Andy. And, you know, I don't really know how to Say it any other way, but we are taking over this channel. And I think it's, you know, I think it's gonna, you know, be an adjustment for people, but, yeah, we're. This is. You know, I hope you'll give me time to. To get, you know, to win your attention and your listening and. And it's like, first of all, it's so obvious that it's a bit.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, okay. Oh, that's a bummer. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

It's. To me, it was very obvious that it was a bit. Because what I knew is, like, if they are in fact, not bringing Howard Stern back, this is not how they're going to tell us.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And Andy is friends with the show and whatever. And so the reason I'm thinking of you, Andrew, is because I'm like, what's the power out? Yeah, how do we get out of this?

[Andrew Walsh]

How do we get out of this bit?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, how do we get out of this bit? So he's just talking, and he's got a co host, and I think his real co host from, like, his actual show that he does on Sirius or whatever. And they're just chatting, and they, like, take a call, and someone's kind of mad on the call. I don't know if the caller was staged or not, but, like. And. But basically, like, you know, it. Part of the problem was Howard Cerna just said to Andy Cohen, can you just record something where you pretend like you're taking over the show? And Andy was like, sure, but he didn't really have, like, a second or third thought, if that makes any sense. It kind of didn't go anywhere. It was just like, yeah, this is the. I'm the. Gonna be hosting this now, and I'm gonna be. They did have. There was one funny part where he was like, we're gonna have great guests like Patti LuPone. He just starts naming basically the most gay. The most gay content. Andy Cohen is. Is a gay man. And he's just, like, naming, like, Broadway stars and, like, housewives and, like, basically all the stuff that he does on. On Andy Cohen. And it was like, very. Although he did also say, and yet I think my show will be less gay than Howard's show had gotten over the years, which I also thought was kind of funny. But I'm just listening and I, like, I'm going, okay, I know that this is not real. How did they get it? Does Howard call in? Does Howard break into the studio? I'm getting nervous about how the bit is going to end.

[Andrew Walsh]

I thought, you know, it's funny. I was. As you were saying this, and now I'm realizing what you're talking about. I was like, oh, maybe. Because, again, keep in mind, I don't really know this world at all, but I'm like, does Gary Delibonte call in? That was my guess. I was like, does one of the producers call in angrily?

[Luke Burbank]

And I was also thinking of you because one of the things, and I think rightfully, that you are very quick to flag when we do TBTL stuff is no acting.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. I gotta say, that's not a listen, and that's not on you. I think you do it more in other aspects of your life, but together. And I don't trust myself to do it. And on the occasions that we've had things that are too scripted, I am never proud of my performance. And it always stands out to me as not seeming tbtl.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I think it's. I think it's a very good instinct because I was watching it or I was listening to it. I was listening to Andy Cohen try to act, which, again, he's fine. And I think he's generally. It's great that he's in the world making content, but, you know, he's not an actor. And again, I was the whole time being like, this is a bit. This is a bit stressing me out. Then I'm starting to think about, like. Like Howard Stern's acting. Like Howard Stern calling in and being like, andy, what are you doing? And then that started to give me Ajita.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Or. Or Gary Delavicio having to call in. Anyone from the Stern show having to call in and pretend that, like, I don't know. Just like, I didn't know how this was going to end. And the way it ended, Andrew, was how long?

[Andrew Walsh]

In how long? In about.

[Luke Burbank]

I. It felt like forever. It's probably three minutes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. About three minutes. Okay. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

But this is how it ended, Andrew. It just didn't. It just was. Okay. So I'm Andy Cohen. So, anyway, we're going to take a break. Thank you. And then it was the end of the Andy Cohen bit, and then it was American Nightmare, and there was no explanation. Then it was this, and then it was just Howard Stern talking. It. There was no handoff. There was no acknowledgment that it was a bit. But also, there was no. They didn't know how to write the end of the movie of that bit.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, it just went to commercial and then disappeared.

[Luke Burbank]

And then it was just Howard Stern talking. And then at some point, he Was like, yeah, I asked Andy to do that bit. I thought. I thought it would be funny if we had Andy, you know, pretending like he was the. The new host. And I thought, okay, I guess. I guess maybe that could be funny. But you've got to flesh it out a little bit. You've got to, like. You got to figure out the power out.

[Andrew Walsh]

Howie, isn't it. Is it a Sarah Silverman bit, like, from her old TV show or something? I feel like there's a famous example of two people pretending to be in a relationship as a joke. And I can't remember, was it like a. Was it maybe like two straight people being in a gay relationship? I don't know what it was. But eventually, like, the other person just won't back down. And eventually they just spend their life together. I might be confusing a Sarah Silverman bit with, like, a Mr. Show bit or something like that, but basically, they don't have a power out for their bit. And so the next thing you know, just like a really old couple, like, sharing their retirement years together.

[Luke Burbank]

What are the chances that that is the glue holding you and Genevieve together?

[Andrew Walsh]

I thought you're gonna say inside jokes.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that too.

[Andrew Walsh]

This whole thing has been a prank. You. Jen is still back there being like, when is this going to end? We're supposed to do this as a. Making fun of Andrew. What is.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know how to get out of it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Here we are.

[Luke Burbank]

But anyway, I was like, I. Again, I was. It's so. My relationship with that show is so strange because, you know, I subscribe to that channel and I. And I listen to it. You know, I listen to every single episode when they put out a new episode, and I find great joy in it in certain ways. And yet all I'm doing the whole time is roasting Howard in my texts to Phyllis about, like, that bit sucked or. I don't know why, but I also really don't want it to go away. I don't want the show to not exist. But I guess part of my thinking on this was when you were talking about the listener saying, I guess Becca's gonna get a new dog. I wonder how much. And by the way, don't tell me, please, but I wonder how much of the listener interactions are them just roasting me behind your back. The TV killisters. Yeah, kind of behind my back. Kind of like, look at it again.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's not. It's honestly not much. I have a feeling that that happens to both of us in places that we aren't Maybe on Facebook or something. I did get a couple of tongue in cheek texts about it, but it was not a big deal. And again, if I thought it was truly hurtful or with bad intentions, I wouldn't have shared it with you. But regarding the idea of. First of all, I think it's interesting that you can listen to this though, and also apply it and kind of take a lesson from it for what we do or other things that you do. You can say, you know what, know your limitations and know when you're doing a bit, how to get out of it and think it through. Like learn from Howard's mistakes a little bit. And I gotta say, I still have not listened to the Lebatard show in months and months now, and I don't really miss it. And a big part of it was they were doing too many bits and being very bad at the bits and the bits getting very, very obvious. And there were other reasons. Too many of the people that I enjoyed on the show left and it became more and more people that really great my nerves and it just became kind of unlistenable for me. But have you been following this Luke? That like Stu Gotz has basically started his own show. Like they have not on a different sports betting network. It's now he's on no, the lebatard shows on DraftKings. And Stu Gotts now has his own show on the other one. DraftKings. And what's the other one?

[Luke Burbank]

FanDuel, maybe.

[Andrew Walsh]

FanDuel. He's got a FanDuel show. And so they haven't made an announcement, but basically he's been doing less and less and less on Levitard show and then started his own podcast. And what's happened in this what appears to be sort of a slow motion unconscious uncoupling. Yes, but not fully acknowledged. Like the Lebiton shows always pretends to be about transparency, but they haven't really acknowledged it. And even when clearly things were going this direction for a while, as contract negotiations and stuff were going on. I understand that you can't tell your audience everything all the time. We don't tell our listeners.

[Luke Burbank]

I think we've been trying to do that.

[Andrew Walsh]

We come pretty damn close. We've come close. But for a show that prides itself on its supposed transparency, they haven't really truly addressed it. It's just like this really weird slow motion separating where both shows are. None of it equals the sum of the old parts. That doesn't really make sense, but you know what I mean, all it's done is it's just like this watered down, spread out, kind of LeBatard esque content that none of it's that great anymore. I basically just look for there's one person I like and when she's on either show, I'll listen to those episodes. So as long as they keep on putting who their guests are in the title, I guess I'll dip in every now and then. But it's weird to just see this whole thing sort of, of, I don't know, from my perspective unravel. But maybe we have people who are still listening to the Lebatard show who still love it. So that's great. But it's been very strange.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. You know, it's. I don't listen to that show on the regular, but I am very grateful that it has, that it generated. Pablo Torre finds out, which is my obsession du jour.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. He had something of this American Life this week too, from his podcast.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, seriously?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, he's blown up all over the place.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh yeah, he's having a moment.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And he's just, he's broke. I cannot believe how many stories, huge investigative stories. He's broken in just like three months.

[Luke Burbank]

For those that don't know, Pablo Torre is, he's a podcaster and a journalist who has this podcast that's. I mean, Chris and I, Chris Hayes and I were texting about this saying it's amazing what's happening. But also he's just doing journalism. And I'm not saying that to diminish it. It's just journalism is so under threat and is so underfunded that when somebody actually like is reading through the bankruptcy statement of a carbon offset company.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, and then finds Kawhi Leonard's LLC that was getting paid $7 million a year to do nothing. Like, that's just old school shoe leather journalism really. But everyone's. Again, this sounds like I'm being like I'm trying to diminish what he's doing and I don't mean it that way. It's cool what he's doing, but it's. He did not invent a new format. He's just doing the work and he's doing a really good job with it. But it's just been so long since, since people have been funding these kinds of operations that it feels like a revelation.

[Andrew Walsh]

But even that. But that kind of like combing through documents and looking for red flags now I think he's got a lot of people who are tipping him off anonymously that Helps him point him in the direction. But even that kind of journalism traditionally lives in more of a print medium, not any kind of broadcast medium because you can really get into the details of it. But also the thing about that kind of journalism is it does take a while because you start pulling on that string and you're getting into more and more details. The fact that he, as a, on an audio medium, he broke this huge thing about the NFL Players Association. I mean people, I mean high powered people in the NFL Players association have lost their jobs over this huge scandals. That was like a month and a half now, maybe two months ago before this huge Kawhi Leonard thing. Like this is so, I mean, sometimes these types of, you know, stories take years to then source. And he's doing it responsibly.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. I mean, I do think that I don't want to again, it sounds like I'm first, I'm telling you I'm obsessed with the show and then it sounds like I'm trying to kind of like take away some of the shine. I do think it's been good fortune for him that these two stories, you know, have been, I agree with you. I think somebody was annoyed about the Kawhi Leonard deal and tipped him off. You know, he's got, it's, it's, it's, he's on a hot streak. It'll be interesting to see if he and this show that he does can keep breaking news of this level continuously. But here's the thing, thing. I'm just liking the show even when they're not, you know, getting Steve Ballmer in trouble. Oh yeah, because like I sent you and Chris this episode of like basically the Paul Feinbaum Show. I've never understood this Paul Finebaum thing until I listen to this episode of, of, of Pablo Torre finds out, like I've known that there's a guy named Paul Feinbaum. He is like seen as like a college football expert, particularly the sec. Right. I don't really, I don't really mess with college football. I don't really mess with the SEC very much. But I would see this guy pop up on, you know, some of the Saturday shows or ESPN or whatever. And he's a very, he looks like Mr. Burns. Like he's this kind of very sort of thin bald man who's, who's, who's older and wears glasses and like he's based in Alabama. He's like the world's expert on Alabama football. And he's a very, and they say this on the Pablo Torre Episode he is, is the least. He's the person you would least expect to be the Alabama football expert because he's like from New York. He's not even originally from Alabama, but he basically got hired by some radio station in Alabama many years ago to do a show that was coming on after Rush Limbaugh. It was not a political show, it was a sports show. And the only thing they cared about in Alabama was Alabama football and SEC football. So he, that's what his whole show was about. And what's so fascinating about his show is that. Well, first of all, the caller culture, Andrew, is just off the charts. They just have all of like, this is what you and I think love about talk radio is like the regular callers, the people that have their own, you know, whole thing going and stuff. And they just have these. He just has these amazing callers that are the regulars and stuff. Also, it's an interesting view into. I don't know what his politics are, but I get the sense that he's probably your typical Northeast. Maybe he's not a liberal, but I doubt he's like a dyed in the wool Southern conservative. Paul Feinbaum.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

But he's talking about his view into American political life by way of the people that call his college football radio show.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's talking about that in an interview with Pablo.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. He's saying, I saw the Trump thing coming a long time ago because I talk to these folks every day. It's about college football. But he has a, he has an insight into their world and their way of thinking and their how they feel about the world around them. Like, so it's a kind of more than just college football. It's kind of a way that a certain portion of America has been feeling and stuff. Anyway, it's just that episode in particular, like explaining what the whole. It made me want to have a talk radio show again with callers like a successful one. I don't know if I ever really had a very successful call in show. But like, it's also just a love letter to this kind of talk radio that you and I love that's really going away. And anyway, so all that is to say would recommend after you've eaten your tbtl, after you've had your vegetables, I am highly recommending Pablo Torre finds out.

[Andrew Walsh]

I listened to a lot of Pablo this summer. I like because they, aside from the big stories, they also have like kind of roundtable shows with often like Katie Nolan and her husband.

[Luke Burbank]

That's the other one.

[Andrew Walsh]

I can't think or comedian husband whose name I can't think of off the top of my head. And the way he just, like, sort of presents things, like, it's still kind of like, oh, he just does get, like, at least once a week, just a gang of people on the show to talk to, chop up a story or two, which I also really love. You need that. Like, if you're listening to one story where you really have to pay attention to. Well, I saw this in this document, and then I called this person, and he does a really good job of giving you a spoonful of sugar to take that all down. Like, he does a really good job of translating that to a. To the broadcast medium. But it's also just fun to hear him chop it up with some friends and laugh.

[Luke Burbank]

Have you, by the way, Dan Soder is the. Who you're thinking of. That's Katie Nolan's boyfriend. And he is. I love Dan Soder. He is so, so funny. Childhood friends with Mike McDaniel, the coach, the Miami Dolphins.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And there is something about hearing them, like, as a couple on. I kind of enjoy it. It's a very chill. By the way, I want to go back to Howard Stern for a second, because you were describing him at some point saying, yeah, yeah. I asked, who's the guy who did the fake bit on the show? John Cohen. Andy Cohen.

[Luke Burbank]

Andy Cohen.

[Andrew Walsh]

Andy Cohen. Oh, yeah. I asked Andy to do that thing. And I can just sort of hear him, like, kind of being, like, dismiss. Like, sort of, like, dismissive or low energy about it. I don't know if I'm right about that, but does Howard Stern ever laugh? Because I can't picture him laughing. I feel like he's always. He's always got to be like, if something's funny, he gotta kind of can't. He kind of can't pretend it's too funny. Right. He's got to always be kind of grumpy about it.

[Luke Burbank]

I definitely. He's. He is. He is not leading the charge. In terms of laughter on the show. The knock has always been that. That Robin Quiver's job is just laugh at his jokes, which I think is actually kind of, kind of not accurate. I think she does a lot on that show, but definitely Howard is not the quickest person to laugh. You know, what's interesting is when you hear him at his happiest and also at his. When he does laugh is when his wife Beth, like, wanders down to the basement to tell him about something that happened with, like, their cat rescue. Like, he brings her onto the show. It's pretty charming, actually. And this is the kind of thing that wasn't happening pre Covid because they would go into the studios, but he's been doing the show from one of his many mansions for years. It's also funny because I think I've said this on the show before on our show, but it's clear that he. He kind of doesn't want the listeners to fully put together that he has various mansions around the country and is often in them. So he's always kind of a little cagey about. He'll be like, yeah, well, Beth and I, we went on a walk, and then, you know, I'll be thinking like. Or Robin will be like, wasn't it cold? It's. It was like 20 degrees here in New York. And he'll be like, no, not where I am or something here. Oh, he's in Florida. He's. Yeah, but he's in Palm Beach, Florida.

[Andrew Walsh]

Interesting.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. He tries to be kind of coy about. As if we don't all know that he's incredibly, incredibly wealthy from doing this whole thing, but because he broadcasts from home, he will have his wife on a lot. And it is actually kind of charming.

[Andrew Walsh]

He is clearly.

[Luke Burbank]

And they've been married for, like, 20 years now. This is his second wife. He is clearly over the moon for her. And you hear this whole side of him, of him just being absolutely delighted by her very existence. And I find that. I find that quite charming.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I like that stuff, too. And again, maybe I. Maybe I wouldn't describe Katie and. What's her husband's name again?

[Luke Burbank]

Dan Soder.

[Andrew Walsh]

Dan, again, as maybe being. Being that dynamic, but just like, they're good together because they're good together. You know what I mean? They're good on the podcast together because they're good in real life together.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, and she. She's got a new show, actually, that I need to listen to as well, called Casuals. Yeah, I think I keep hearing promos for it during the baseball game. When I'm listening to the baseball game on my serious app, I hear ads for it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I heard so many. I've been. When I get in the car now, if I don't like what's on local sports radio. And as it turned more and more towards football the past few weeks, I've been going more and more over to the serious satellite radio that we have in the car. Don't forget, I only pay $6 a month. Is that right, Luke? Good. Remember my negotiating with the AI Bot And I was like, don't get any ideas, people.

[Luke Burbank]

You cannot negotiate down your tv. I mean, you could just make it zero. I guess you could negotiate it to zero, but please don't.

[Andrew Walsh]

But I'll just switch over and I'll listen to whatever baseball game is on. And, you know, serious will kind of carry them all. It's always the home broadcast of whoever the home team is. And so I've been listening to just some very, very random games. But all that is to say, I've been hearing so much of the. The doggies. Gotcha. What does he say? Like, baseball.

[Luke Burbank]

You want baseball? Doggies. Got you covered.

[Andrew Walsh]

I must have heard that, like, a thousand times in my trip to, like, Home Depot and Lowe's when we were dealing with the fly situation recently.

[Luke Burbank]

I love it. So I don't have to now try to record that and send it to you. You're getting to experience it in all of its glory.

[Andrew Walsh]

We do. I had this thought, though. We need to record that. That's been playing on Sirius satellite for a couple of years now. It's not gonna be there forever. And if you haven't captured it yet, one of us has to capture it for posterity.

[Luke Burbank]

I'll try to remember to do that tonight.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

What I will probably do is I will, of course, watch the game, but then I will. By the way, there was a truly amazing moment during the Mariners broadcast last night. Did you watch the game?

[Andrew Walsh]

I did. There were some parts that I had to listen to. There was also a moment where a naked man ended up on our porch last night. And so I missed part of the game. Then.

[Luke Burbank]

Excuse me. It's 73 minutes into the show, and I'm just learning about this.

[Andrew Walsh]

I wasn't sure if I wanted to.

[Luke Burbank]

Were they having a mental health crisis?

[Andrew Walsh]

I think so. It was. I didn't want to talk about. I shouldn't have brought this up. But then also, I guess I can't trust myself not to bring certain things up. But it was really interesting. It was, actually. I feel a little bit bad talking about it without Genevieve in the room, because we had very different experiences with it, because I'm just downstairs watching television or, you know, watching the game, and then Genevieve says, andrew. Andrew. And I could tell that her voice was a little bit elevated. She didn't sound totally panicky, but she was just like, there's a naked man at our door. Or there's a naked man in our porch. I'm like, what? What's going on? And so I put on some shoes I. I don't know why the man's naked, but for some reason, I don't want him to see me without shoes on.

[Luke Burbank]

So you don't want him to think that you're just, like, overly casual?

[Andrew Walsh]

Probably the funniest part of the story, now that I think about it. Like, I.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, whenever I hear my shirt, when.

[Andrew Walsh]

There'S anybody at the door, I'm like, well, I got to put on shoes. I don't answer the door without shoes on. Right. But there's a naked man at the door. Well, I better put on shoes. Anyway, so I put on my shoes, which happened to be right there. And then I kind of come upstairs and. And I'm like, well, what's going on? And then. So I kind of open up our blinds or I look around kind of onto our deck, and I see him. And he's a man, probably in his full. He's fully nude. He's probably in his 30s, I want to say.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, that's gotta be pretty shocking to see in normal life. Like, I can't. I'm trying to. The last time I saw a. And I'm not trying to make light of this, the last time I saw a fully naked person in public, I was in San Francisco. I was probably in the Castro or something. I was walking down the street, and it was just like a regular day. And then a guy was just walking by naked. He was not in a mental health crisis. He was somebody who. I think just. That was his lifestyle. But it was. You know, I don't think of myself as an overly uptight person. But when you see nudity in a place, like, just out in public in a place where you're not used to seeing it, and I'm not talking about a naked bike ride or something, but just, like, it. It's pretty shocking.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And again, this is nighttime or, like, sun, you know, I think it's getting dark. Yeah, it's probably dark out at this point, or getting dark out. And so I'm introduced to this scenario by somebody telling me, andrew, there's a naked man at our door. So it's a very different experience because I come upstairs, I'm like, oh, man, what's going on? And I do look at him, and I just sort of, like, through the window. And he looks at me almost. I don't know if sheepishly is the right way, but he makes eye contact with me, and, like, he's in. He's like. He doesn't. Let me put it this way. So he's Kind of shaved head, I think he doesn't look as at the end of his rope as I've seen people look, you know what I mean, when they're in some sort of distress like this, you know, he looks actually kind of relatively healthy, though, skin. And he looks at me, and I kind of wave. I'm like, get out of here. And I just sort of, you know, kind of mouth, and I kind of wave him, like, with my hand. And he does. He sort of like. He looks at me. But before I waved him away, he, like, kind of looked at me, I don't know, forlornly or sheepishly or something. And so, like, in this, I gotta say, feels literally biblical to me in this moment. It feels literally like New Testament. And, you know, I'm not a religious person, but, like, there's literally somebody in need naked at your door. And it felt weird to me to wave him away. And so I say to Dave, right.

[Luke Burbank]

You treat it as like, this is a threat to me versus this is a person to me.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was more of a nuisance because he didn't feel like a threat to me. And so. And sorry to cut you off, but I think that's a pretty big. That's a pretty big part of maybe the story here is. And he looks at me, and so he's been there for a couple of minutes or whatever, and however long it took Genevieve to tell me about this situation. And then for me to get upstairs because I had to put on my tuxedo, and it's the bow tie first.

[Luke Burbank]

You put on your wetsuit under your tuxedo.

[Andrew Walsh]

And so in this moment, I see him. I'm like, oh, man. Yeah, he's. Because I come upstairs, it looks like he's not there anymore. But then I kind of crane my head, and I see. Oh, yeah, he's standing right in front of our front door. And so we make eye contact, and I kind of, like, look at him. I'm like, what are you doing, dude? Like, get out of here. And I kind of like, you know, kind of give him the get out of here motion. And he does, and he slowly walks away, back down our sidewalk. And I say to Genevieve, I should go get a towel for him. She's like, do not. And I'm like, oh, okay. And in my head, I was kinda like, well, there's somebody who's clearly in need. And he didn't seem at all a threat to me in that moment because there's a door between us. There's glass between us. Like, I don't feel a threat in this moment. What I'm not realizing in the moment is, like, this guy was apparently pounding at our door, which I totally didn't hear while Genevieve was in the bathroom. She comes out, she opens the door, and she sees a fully naked man. And she's also a woman, and she's not, you know, as big as me or whatever. Like, she just. And she hears a scary pounding at the door, opens the door, and there's a naked man there that kind of freaks her out. And I don't know, there was something about his body language in that moment that I wasn't there for that really freaked her out. I don't know if he. I don't think he, like, made a lunge or anything like that, but it definitely felt. It felt like a threat to Genevieve, where it felt like a nuisance to me. And so it was one of those things where I was like, well, I should get a metallic. He's like, no, like, don't open that door. Like, she called 911 1, and some folks came out, and they were outside of our house. They never followed up with us or anything, But I saw some vehicles outside our house for a long time. So clearly, he probably went outside our little hedges and maybe stayed there. And within minutes, and I just. You know, it was a cop car that showed up. You know, you always. Ideally, it would be a crisis response instead of a cop, but it is the situation what it is. I hope that he. You know, I hope there was. I hope he was treated with compassion and everything, and who knows where he ended up up. But it was a weird thing where I felt very strange treating. I just. There seems something so symbolic to me about a naked person who's in some sort of need at your door and me waving him away like one of the black flies that was in my basement last week. Right. But also, I understand that I saw this situation much differently than Genevieve did when somebody was pounding on our door like a maniac. And she opens it up, and there's a man, a naked man staring at her. Like, it was just a very different experience for the both of us. And so I think that it was just, like sort of one of those things that both of us processed, like, kind of throughout the night. And I just hope that he got. You know, I actually was. And I know that it's a very fraught subject, but I was really glad that somebody showed up, that the police showed up so quickly. And while there is obviously a lot of issues with the Fact that it's cops who come in situations like that. I have seen with my eyes cops treating some people who need help. Help with compassion in my neighborhood. And so I'm hope. I always remember at that. At that a.m. p.m. Where, you know, there's a lot of stuff that goes down. I remember seeing a sheriff or a cop car pull over and the cop was getting out of his car and he goes to the back and he pulls out a couple of packs of socks and other things. And I'm like, okay, this is interesting. He's probably responding to somebody who's like passed out on a bench. And I just always hope that there's compassion there. And I know that there isn't always. But anyway, that was the story last night. I clearly don't have a power out because. Because I'm, you know, I feel weird about it.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that was. Yeah. So. So then did you go back to watching the baseball game?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, the weird thing is, is that all happened where the Mariners had that inning where they scored three runs and almost four runs. And so I kind of missed the action.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm like screaming about Julio Rodriguez running through a third base stop sign.

[Andrew Walsh]

I kind of came downstairs right as that was sort of being replayed. And so I was sort of able to kind of follow that part of it. Something like that. That's right. This started as a baseball conversation. You want. You heard something in the baseball broadcast last night that you went to the.

[Luke Burbank]

Show, which really pales in comparison to what you and Genevieve were going through last night and what that guy was going through. But it was just. I was just going to say that there was a truly amazing moment of Aaron Goldsmith trying to explain Stranger Things, the TV show, to Dave Valli.

[Andrew Walsh]

I gotta say, people love that pair up of Goldie and Dave Valli. I am not loving Dave Valli in that broadcast.

[Luke Burbank]

No, me neither.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm so sick of soft serve ice cream talk. I'm so sick of him being. Being like. No, I don't like. What is it? Stephen King, He's Steven. I don't know. I just don't like. I know he's a beloved guy, but it's not working.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I think that. Well, that when I said a truly amazing moment, it wasn't even endorsement of Dave Valli because I think Dave Valley is not particularly well suited for that job. And I also, you know, like. But Aaron Goldsmith is so good that I feel like he can kind of make a silk purse out of that year.

[Andrew Walsh]

Definitely. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And because it was like stranger Things Night night at the ballpark. So everyone had these, like, Mariners shirts on that were kind of in the Stranger Thing font, but they were upside down. And he was trying to explain the. And then again, the thing was, he was being funny about Aaron Goldsmith and then Dave Valley, who was a former Seattle Mariners catcher. And his whole thing was just like, I don't know. I don't watch any movies. I don't watch tv. I don't. It's like, get a personality, dude.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Not not knowing what anything is is, listen, that's my brand.

[Andrew Walsh]

And what was the third thing? 80s nostalgia. What does that mean? And he's like, it just means you grew up in the 80s. Like, it was so. But here is an amazing moment. This is where Goldie is just so damn funny. Did you hear where Dave Valli is actually telling a story about an incredibly difficult injury that he had in the minor league, and then he had to go down and to play winter league to get ready? And it was an. Actually, that was a pretty good story about this, like, just devastating injury that he had to his leg. And then, although at one point he said something like, I had a bone growing in my muscle. And I'm like, that's not what happened, Dave.

[Luke Burbank]

But you're also hearing one of my baby teeth.

[Andrew Walsh]

He also, like, one time he turned me off a long time ago when he started talking about, like, these fasts that he's doing because his son saw it on TikTok or whatever, and it got real. Joe Rogany. I'm like, I don't trust this guy talking about medicine. Anyway, at the end of this story about this injury, he's like, I have a hole. Like, I still have a hole in my quad. He's like, you can feel it later, Goldy. And Goldy says, and we're going to break. And it was not a break. It was still, like, in the middle of the inning, but it was just like Goldy, without missing a beat, just going like, we're going to break, because I want to feel this hole in Dave's quad. Those are the moments where I think Goldie really saves it. But I also resent, while we're just doing this, I sort of resent that Angie gets bumped for Dave Valli. I think Angie was over on the radio because they think that Angie Mentink. Angie Mentink. I mean, at this point, Luke, we're just talking to each other. Don't worry about keeping the list listeners up on this.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't need to do my resets.

[Andrew Walsh]

Listeners. Where we're going, oh, my God, we don't need listeners.

[Luke Burbank]

Can I just very quickly, I'm with you. By the way. Angie Mentink is a, is a national treasure and a baseball knower of the highest order. Like, the things that she says about basically pitch strategy and why the ball does what it does is so informative to me. Me, I absolutely love her. And I would listen to her and Aaron Goldsmith all day long. She's a big upgrade from Dave Valli. Speaking of explaining things, I was listening to NPR the other day, and they had actually, it was a great segment. I feel like with npr, I want to encourage them to do more good segments, and I want to gently dissuade them from doing bad segments, and I want to encourage them to do more good segments because then I can go back to listening as much as I used to. Too much of the time, they just dispassionately report that my world is ending.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And those are the segments I don't like. Then they did this one that was basically kind of like a science roundup, kind of just like, here's a bunch of interesting science stories with one of their science reporters, and it was great. And one of them was basically a study of what the health effects are of bringing your cell phone into the bathroom with you. And one of the things that they determined was that it actually can increase the occurrence of hemorrhoids because I guess the theory goes you're sitting there on the toilet longer than you need to because now you're scrolling on your phone and that's not, not great.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that posture isn't that posture.

[Luke Burbank]

And be staying on the toilet. I mean, something that can create hemorrhoids is like pushing, you know, like pushing too hard or just spending a bunch of time on the toilet in that posture. I guess these are all things that can increase the chance of hemorrhoids. What I couldn't believe was they made the poor all things consider host say, after the science person said, yeah, they found that it would could increase the occurrence of hemorrhoids, the poor NPR person did say, of course, hemorrhoids are the protrusion of a vein around the anus. Like, they had to explain what a hem. They made this woman explain what a hemorrhoid is. Do we, do we, the American public, not know what a hemorrhoid is? If someone says it increases the chance of a hemorrhoids, we know what that means. We the people that might get a hemorrhoid, we the people of the age of getting hemorrhoids. Know what a hemorrhoid is?

[Andrew Walsh]

Say the bat symbol. You are. Seriously.

[Luke Burbank]

That's what I was thinking of.

[Andrew Walsh]

Cartoon character. The Batman.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. I was like, whoever. This is why we lost the election. Whoever made Elsa Chang explain what a hemorrhoid is. That's why we lost the election.

[Andrew Walsh]

Elsa. By the way, I love Elsa.

[Luke Burbank]

But anyway, yeah, so go Mariners. I think that's the power out to that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. Oh, man. It's not from a female.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, email or VMAIL before we get out of here.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Just a reminder. If you want to call us, you can leave us a voicemail at 206-414-8285. That's 206-414-TBTL. Or you can email us a voice memo. And that is what listener Jack did. Hey, Luke. Hey, Andrew.

[Listener Jack]

Listener Jack and Honolulu here. Two quick things. One, not to make another correction on the Warwick Dan Davis situation.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, no.

[Andrew Walsh]

So Warwick Davis is the actor. Right. Remind me how. What the war. Okay, you.

[Luke Burbank]

I miss. I misdescribed. I described the actor Warwick Davis. Warwick Davis, who was in Willow. He was in. He's on that show Extras. He was in. I. I think he might have been in the leprechaun movies, some of them.

[Andrew Walsh]

Listener wrote in to say that as well. Yes, exactly. And you had used his name instead of a sports figure that you were.

[Luke Burbank]

Talking about, which was War. Ick. I think it's Warwick. Yeah, Warwick Dunn. I think one is Warwick and one is Warwick. And Warwick Dunn was a running back for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

[Andrew Walsh]

So anyway, you brought that up, and then somebody wrote in to sort of correct us, and they said that Warwick Davis is that actor in Extras who does that as part of this really funny scene that we never play on the show, but because it's outside of our tone. But it's Liam Neeson saying that in a very serious way that he wants to be a comedian and he's forcing these guys to do improv scenes, to.

[Luke Burbank]

Do an improv scene where the answer is always no.

[Andrew Walsh]

Essentially, the answer is always no. And the content that he keeps bringing is just absolutely brutal. But anyway, you and I always say that that scene is from extras, and apparently it's not actually extras. And I think we've been corrected on this before. Hello?

[Listener Jack]

Okay, Andrew, Listener Jack and Honolulu here. Two quick things. One, not to make a. Another correction on the Warwick Davis situation, but the show you were talking about with Warwick Davis, where Liam Neeson comes in, wants to do the improv that is so hilarious is actually a show called Life's Too Short. Although your confusion can be forgiven because it is effectively the exact same as Extras, except Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant are playing themselves and Warwick Davis is the protagonist.

[Andrew Walsh]

But apart from that, it's still a.

[Listener Jack]

Ricky Gervais written show and it's pretty much just Extras where it's like celebrity comes in every episode.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, there's more to Jack's voicemail, but just to respond to that, that's all rings.

[Luke Burbank]

That makes a lot of sense.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, somebody had told me that once before, but I've never seen Extras or Life's Too Short. I've only known them from clips that people have sent me. And it's so easy to forget the definitions of those two universes, I think.

[Luke Burbank]

And Warwick Davis we could mention is a person of short stature.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right.

[Luke Burbank]

And so that's hence the Life's Too Short short kind of sort of, you know, I guess name and premise of the show.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. Now, we also were talking about the Doors on the show recently. I think listener Jake had called in a couple of times with a story about how he finds Doors music sort of off putting and scary because it was part of this camping experience he had as kids. And like, I believe it took him.

[Luke Burbank]

Woods two voicemails to fully get that story out, if I remember right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. And then Jack had something else on that, although I don't remember what.

[Listener Jack]

The second thing, I think it was listener Jake talking about how he was scared of the Doors. When I was a kid, I stayed up late one night and snuck a radio into my room and listened to Art Bell and his episodes about Mel's Hole. And super late at night I was getting myself all scared, worked up listening to the Mel's Hole episodes of Art Bell. And he used bumper music of Riders on the Storm. And that song scared the nonsense out of me for about 20 years ago. So a couple things there.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thanks. Power out, Jack. I I, you're gonna start hearing me say scared the nonsense out of me. And every time I say it, you know that you get an associate producer credit in my life because I love that turn of phrase. It's always Riders on the Storm. I think that's the one that scared Jake too.

[Luke Burbank]

It's too noodly. Well, it's, first of all, it's the, it's the storm sound effect, the thunder or whatever and then the rainfall and then it's Is that Ray Manzarek on the keys?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, it always is.

[Luke Burbank]

Probably noodling around my arms. They get real noodley. Mel's Hole by the way, are you familiar?

[Andrew Walsh]

Are you up in Mel's Hole? I had a feeling that you would have some insight into this. I'll try to get Riders on the Storm playing underneath you while you describe it, if I can get this to work.

[Luke Burbank]

This is from Wikipedia. The Legend of the Bottomless Hole It's a bottomless pit near Ellensburg, Washington. Mel's Hole the legend of the bottomless hole started in February 1997 when a man identifying himself as Mel Waters appeared as a guest on Coast To Coast AM with Art Bell. Waters claimed he owned rural property nine miles outside of Ellensburg in Kittitas county that contained a mysterious hole. According to Waters, the hole had an from an area near Dreamland. This is Dreamland west of the Rockies. Mel in Ellensburg I'm so tempted to try to do an impression of Mel in Ellensburg on the phone with Art Bell, but I don't think I'll be able to pull it off. So I'll just continue reading from this.

[Andrew Walsh]

No acting.

[Luke Burbank]

No acting. That's our one rule. No acting. According to Waters, the hole had an unknown depth. He claimed to have measured its depth using fishing line and a weight, although he had still not hit bottom by the time 80,000ft of line had been used. He also claimed that his neighbor's dead dog had been seen alive sometime after it was thrown into the hole. According to Waters, the hole's magical properties prompted US Federal agents to seize the land and fund his relocation to Australia. Oh God, what a call.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wait, so the federal government made him relocate because he was too much of a threat to our security? With this knowledge he had of this hole in his back backyard, I guess.

[Luke Burbank]

The federal government Again, I know as much as you do now, but I guess the federal government wanted possession of the whole and so they expropriated the land and then sent Mel to Australia.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, that's the thing that I'm really and also, you don't get to live in the neighborhood anymore. In fact, you don't get to live on this continent anymore.

[Luke Burbank]

Now, in 2022, a group of 30 people led by Gerald Osborne undertook an expedition to find the whole hole. But Andrew, I hope you're sitting down. But we're unable to locate it.

[Andrew Walsh]

They filled local news.

[Luke Burbank]

Reporters who investigated the claims found no public records of anyone named Mel Waters ever residing in or owning property in Kittitas County. According to the state Department of Natural Resources geologist Jack Powell, the hole does not exist and is geologically impossible.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, it doesn't exist anymore, obviously. It's a literal cover up. It's a literal cover up. I gotta say I did not listen to any of the Art Bells stuff or Coast to coast in general. I heard a little bit of George Nori, like when I would get off the air at 10 o' clock and drive home after my shift out here a little bit. And I liked that as a vibe. But it was, you know, I don't think that people celebrated that era of Coast to coast the way they did the Art Bell stuff. But you just describing that to me like I'm like, oh, I would totally listen to that. Like, absolutely. Somebody calls in and you're here. I like, I'm literally as you're describing that. I'm jealous that I didn't get to hear that story for the first time time as it unspooled on the show. I'm guessing through several like conversations with this guy. He would probably keep. Was he a regular to keep calling back with the Mel's Hole story and updates?

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know. You know, honestly, I had never heard of Mel's Hole until our friend the Stew Bot sent some kind of a message. I don't know if that was on the group checks, group text or just to me, but it was like saying something about Mel's Hole and I had to look it up then. So I did not hear of course the original back in 97 or whatever. Whatever. But, but in Soviet Russia, Coronavirus gets you. It was just the quickest clip of the Stubbot I could find.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh yeah buddy. But, but anyway, one more thing on Mel's Hole, not to be no fun but like a. Another geologist said that the, the reason that it's geologically impossible is because a whole of that, that depth would collapse into itself under the tremendous pressure and heat from the surrounding strata. They were also doubtful that he had been able to lower a fishing line 80,000ft into the ground.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, it's a lot of fishing line.

[Luke Burbank]

The line would have melted at that depth. Because I think you're getting now you're probably below the Mohorovichik boundary or whatever's down there.

[Andrew Walsh]

And you think about the guy at the tackle shop, right, who keeps selling the line to make Mel right. My God here Mel like.

[Luke Burbank]

And he's honestly that guy ordering extra.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's got to be ordering extra line from Mel at this point.

[Luke Burbank]

And he's also feeding into Mel's whole story because he's making money, you know, coming and going on this. Like, he's like, oh, yeah, tell me more about this 80, 000 foot hole.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's a really good point.

[Luke Burbank]

Tell me more about this hole you can throw a dead dog into and it comes back out.

[Andrew Walsh]

They don't come back. They don't come back. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. And I've got more fishing line I'll sell you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

For this continued experiment.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. It's good for the economy. That's what they. They never talk about that with the Mel's who. How good it was for the local economy.

[Luke Burbank]

It's about the job creators, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

It really is.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm trying. What I'm trying to find now I'm in my Sonos radio app. Oh, yeah, let's see.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, wait, I'm sorry. Did I hit this music too soon? Are you.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, you didn't. But I just want to see if I can. Oh, I'd have to play it on the speaker out here. I'm wondering if my dream. My Art Bell radio. Look, I'm showing you on my app.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

If my Art Bell radio is still active, it alleges to be classic Art Bell 24:7 featuring 500 plus episodes. Episodes. I might have to give this a listen tonight after the baseball game, after I've recorded Mad Dog covering me for baseball, then maybe I'll switch over to Dreamland radio. This is good stuff. So nice. All right, that's gonna do it for today's episode. Thank you for listening, everybody. I think Gige needs a. Howard Stern was calling Xi Jinping Gigi Ping today. And it was very funny to me because he was basically saying, anyone 1. The rumor with him off air was that he hates all of the new podcasters that Sirius Satellite has hired because they've spent all this money on like, Conan show and Smart List and Alex Cooper, who's the host of Call Her Daddy. And Howard was saying, I do not have any resentment against any of the people they've hired. He goes, I want them to get us more subscribers because I own a bunch of serious stock.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And then he said, he literally described it. Is this fakta stock that was supposed to make me rich? This is what I mean. Like, he does this terrible Andy Cohen bit, but then he's being funny about his serious stuff. He's got me right back in. But then he's, he's, he's. He's basically doing a fake radio show that's xiin Ping in the morning, but he's calling him Gigi Ping because he doesn't know the guy's name. And the whole thing ends up being very funny, actually.

[Andrew Walsh]

He just sort of slips. He slips into a. Just a riff. You mean where he's doing this morning?

[Luke Burbank]

And he is very good at that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, he's like.

[Luke Burbank]

He's doing like Ghislaine Maxwell in the morning. Like, you know, he's just randomly throwing out the most heinous people they could hire at serious. And he's a fan of all of it.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's a pretty good.

[Luke Burbank]

It's good. It's a good bit.

[Andrew Walsh]

And am I right in guessing that that probably wasn't as thought out as some of the stuff?

[Luke Burbank]

No, it was totally. It was completely off the dome, and it was great. It was very, very good bit. So anyway, someday we'll do a good bit on this show, but not today. All right, see you tomorrow, everybody. In the meantime, have a great Tuesday. Take care of yourselves, and please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to all.

[Luke Burbank]

Support for Pawnee Community Radio comes from listeners like you. And from the new film the Shadows of Seven Heads, the dramatic tale of an Israeli social soldier who falls in love with conjoined Palestinian sex tuplets out soon. From Focus Features. Welcome to Thought for your Thoughts. I'm your host, Darry Merbles, sitting in for Nina Joplin, who is touring the country performing a spoken word opera about pear shaped women. My guest today is city council woman Leslie Knope.

[Andrew Walsh]

Jerry, my team and I are trying to build a park and we need input on the design from you, the citizens of Pawnee. So I guess I'm here to send out the Bat Signal.

[Luke Burbank]

A Bat Signal, for listeners who might not know, refers to the children's character the Batman, a strong gentleman who fights crime nocturnally.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's correct. Well put. Power out.