TBTL #4551 – "Introducing: The TBTL Bad Lands"

September 10, 2025
Hosts: Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh

Episode Overview

In this episode, Luke and Andrew riff on an assortment of everyday adventures, personal stories, and podcast lore, officially launching a new show tradition: “The Badlands”—the segment synonymous with their most meandering, freewheeling tangents. They reminisce about live shows, discuss neighborly encounters, vent about quirky local businesses, and offer near-philosophical takes on modern annoyances like credit card surcharges and microphoning mishaps. True to TBTL’s spirit, the conversation is both hilariously aimless and strangely heartfelt.

Main Themes and Discussions

1. Introducing "The Badlands" (04:06, 09:09)

• Origin: The "Badlands" refers to the segment at the end of their show where all structure drops away and any topic is fair game, formally embracing what was previously an informal "dregs" period packed with inside jokes and random stories.
• Luke: “Maybe we call it the Badlands. Maybe we brand it. Maybe we make it a feature, not a bug.” (04:23)
• Andrew: “We crossed the thin red line the moment I opened up my microphone.” (07:03)

2. TBTL Sports Text Chain Drama (07:06–15:16)

• Fun-Loving Criminals: Their sports group text, packed mostly with Mariners/Seahawks fans (and the occasional outlier), reflects fluctuating moods during sports seasons.
• StuBot's Vikings win sparks guilt after nobody acknowledges his message.
• Andrew: “Nobody said sh*t. Nobody acknowledged it. We all just either went on with our Mariners... or we... And that was Monday, right? ... It's been living in my head.” (12:27)
• Luke: Shares his complicated loyalties between friends with different, often-losing sports teams.

3. Listener Audio Throwback: The Chicago Live Show Prank (21:20–25:59)

• Andrew recalls his favorite TBTL live show moment: Luke prank-asking him for almond milk while he was prepping for a quiz, with Luke later delighting in the delayed reveal on stage.
• Key Quote:
  • Luke: “Me asking you about that was supposed to be where you were like, ‘No... oh, it’s my friend Luke who I work with.’ You looked up at me and you said, ‘I'm not using the almond milk.’ And you went back to your work.” (23:13)

4. Microphone Mishaps and AV Anxiety (28:01–37:06)

• Luke vents about the humiliation of talking into a dead mic on stage, the “low-level cold war” between stage hosts and sound engineers, and the need for trust.
• Luke: “For me as far as a way of not expressing to the audience that I got this thing handled...it just feels like it’s just short of tripping going onto the stage.” (31:22)
• Andrew contrasts his own careful muting practices, relishing a system where hosts feel in control.

5. Neighborhood Adventures: Dog Walking & Meeting Gay (41:59–50:39)

• Luke details heartwarming and humorous neighborhood encounters while dog-sitting Gigi, a standard poodle.
• He relays an extended, unexpectedly poignant conversation with his lonely elderly neighbor, Gay, who disarms him by admitting, “I don’t get to talk to many people anymore.” (47:34)
• This affirms Luke's belief in the small but meaningful impact of daily routines—especially dog-walking—on personal connection.

6. Scam Text Chronicles & RCS vs. SMS (52:13–57:57)

• Andrew gets a “wrong number” scam text and describes play-acting in response, only to possibly get blocked. They wonder about the security implications of RCS vs. SMS, and riff on scammers' generic charm: “I hope I didn’t disturb your beautiful day.”
• Andrew: “I am universe-building. World-building.” (55:47)

7. Local Newspapers & Small-Town Life (63:06–65:56)

• Luke details his subscriptions to local papers, the decline of regional dailies, and how supporting local journalism leads him to buying Camas, WA, chocolate (humorously named “Low Down Chocolate” or “Download Chocolate”).

8. Email and Listener Feedback: The Reese’s Pieces Legacy (89:02–90:22)

• Andrew receives an email from listener Gregory, the great-grandson of H.B. Reese, inventor of Reese’s Pieces, regarding Andrew’s intentionally mispronounced “Reese’s Peesees.”
• Gregory (Email): “I know you enjoy mispronouncing this candy, but… at least one person in your audience finds it somewhat amusing.”

9. Almond Opinions, Pistachio Nostalgia, and Snack Tangents (97:02–101:26)

• The Badlands go deep on snack opinions—Reese’s variety hierarchy, the forgotten red-dyed pistachio, and their favorite Blue Diamond almond flavors.
• Luke: “Who’s using the phone anymore? Loser.” (120:58)

10. The Credit Card Surcharge Saga (107:59–114:14)

• Andrew launches into a passionate Badlands monologue about a beloved Seattle wings joint that hit him with a surprise 2.91% credit card surcharge, spinning into a hypothetical future argument over whether they take cash—a scenario that escalates entirely in his own head.
• Andrew: “I don’t know if I can even defend myself anymore… But I will be so upset about that that I could see myself being like, well, then you’re not a business I want to do business with. And then leaving and then never being able to go back to my favorite wing place.” (110:04)
• Luke: “Do you have—have you considered just the next time you go just bringing like, $40 in cash?” (110:53)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“The Badlands came early today. We crossed the thin red line the moment I opened up my microphone.”
— Andrew Walsh (07:03)

“This is the part of the show where we do that. This is the Badlands.”
— Luke Burbank (113:18)

“Nobody said shit. Nobody acknowledged it. We all just either went on with our Mariners… or we… And that was Monday, right? … It's been living in my head…”
— Andrew Walsh on the unacknowledged text from StuBot (12:27)

“She goes, ‘I’m sorry, I know that I talk too much, but I just, I don’t get to talk to many people anymore.’”
— Luke recounts his neighbor’s confession (47:34)

“I am universe-building. World-building.”
— Andrew Walsh, responding to a scam text (55:47)

“For me as far as a way of not expressing to the audience that I got this thing handled… it just feels like it’s just short of tripping going onto the stage.”
— Luke Burbank on microphone mishaps (31:22)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00–04:10: Podcast cold open; formal Badlands segment origin story.
• 07:06–15:16: Sports text chain and StuBot guilt.
• 21:20–25:59: Live show prank reminiscence (Almond milk story).
• 28:01–37:06: Microphone woes and sound check laments.
• 41:59–50:39: Neighborhood dog-walking and conversation with Gay.
• 52:13–57:57: Andrew’s scam text interactions and messaging tech confusion.
• 63:06–65:56: Luke’s local paper subscriptions and small-town support.
• 89:02–90:22: Reese’s Pieces: Listener Gregory’s family connection.
• 97:02–101:26: Blue Diamond almond flavor deep-dive and pistachio nostalgia.
• 107:59–114:14: Andrew’s imagined confrontation over credit card surcharges at the wings bar.
• 120:58: “Who’s using the phone anymore? Loser.” — peak Badlands proclamation.

The Tone and Spirit

True to TBTL’s ethos, the banter is deeply self-aware, oscillating between heartfelt candor and unapologetic nonsense. The “Badlands” perfectly encapsulates TBTL’s enduring appeal: it’s not about the premise, but the journey. Their meandering tangents, affectionate ribbing, and layered inside jokes offer listeners both comfort and comedy—a safe space for the trivial and the profound.

For First-Time Listeners:

If you’re just dropping in, this episode is a quintessential sample of TBTL’s blend of earnest storytelling, local color, and affectionate absurdity. You’ll find yourself in the “Badlands”—and, chances are, you’ll want to stay for the next wander through the wild.

Power Out!