#4553 Get Your Mind Out Of Grandma’s Pantry

Summary

TBTL Episode #4553: "Get Your Mind Out Of Grandma’s Pantry"

Date: September 12, 2025
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

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Overview

In this Friday edition of TBTL, Luke and Andrew lean into their classic friendly banter, catching up on sleep deprivation, nostalgic radio memories, golf anxiety, the fascinating world of expired pantry goods, and their complex relationships with naps and donuts. They dive into domestic projects, the culture of napping, and take listener feedback, all while maintaining the show's unique, good-natured tone.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Andrew's Sleep Deprivation & Mariners Recap

Timestamps: 04:25–08:26

• Andrew admits he's running on little sleep after attending a Mariners baseball game that went into 12 innings, followed by a late night at a neighborhood bar ("The Vibe"), and then a late-night podcast queue with his cat, Bingo, needing extra attention.
• "You've got about, I'm guessing 40, maybe 50 good minutes with me before I completely crash out." (Andrew, 04:25)
• Sleep deprivation makes Andrew more alert initially, but he anticipates crashing by midday—likely while perusing the "Grandma's Pantry" subreddit.

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2. The "Grandma's Pantry" Subreddit

Timestamps: 08:26–10:59

• Both hosts delight in the Reddit community where people post photos of decades-old pantry staples ("a shaker of Parmesan cheese that expired in 1999"), found in relatives' kitchens.
• For Andrew, it serves up major nostalgia: "It's such great nostalgia. It's not about, like, showing, oh, look how gross this food has gotten. It's more like, oh, my God. Do you remember when this common product had this label?" (Andrew, 09:08)
• Luke, while playfully referencing the phrase in the episode title, cautions listeners to keep it clean.

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3. The Social Stigma of Napping

Timestamps: 10:59–15:37

• Andrew discusses the guilt and stigma around midday naps, especially when living with someone more productive. He describes the internal negotiations over accidental naps and work procrastination.
• Both agree: napping is often unfairly stigmatized, particularly if tied to "carousing” the night before.
• "I don't think there should be [a stigma against napping]. I'm not here to shame any nappers... It should not be stigmatized." (Luke, 11:04)

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4. Afternoon Cat Cuddles & Pet Grief

Timestamps: 12:29–15:37

• Andrew shares a heartfelt story about his cat Bingo, who, following the loss of fellow cat Professor Bananas, has become more affectionate and established a daily "lap-napping" ritual.
• "He just marched right onto my lap and without any ado, just sat down, made himself comfortable, and in moments was sleeping. And then once he falls asleep, he starts rolling over on his back and stretching his legs all over the place and like, poking my belly and all this stuff." (Andrew, 14:39)
• Both hosts reflect on the evolving relationships with pets and how their routines change after loss.

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5. Weekend Preview: Golfing Nerves & Family Gatherings

Timestamps: 16:23–23:14

• Luke is preparing for his first full round of golf in 25 years alongside his brother, Sammy—expressing anxiety at his lack of practice and fear of being assigned strangers in a foursome.
• "It's a long day of doing this... I'm just feeling—if we get paired up with two other people, are they going to make a foursome? Because they do that sometimes." (Luke, 17:26)
• He describes juggling family plans: a miscommunication leads to a weekend with both sibling hangout and in-laws visiting, requiring home upgrades and lots of cleaning.

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6. Home Improvement Panic & DIY Mishaps

Timestamps: 23:14–32:03

• Luke describes his frantic efforts to finish DIY projects before guests arrive: painting built-in cabinets, installing drywall, and (unsuccessfully) coordinating with carpet installers.
• Frustration mounts after an installation is canceled: "When I tell you it was so hard for me to not be so, like, brusque with the carpet person because I had had my expectations up here, and now they were being dashed against the rocks of reality." (Luke, 27:41)
• The hosts riff on “managing expectations” and the emotional rollercoaster of home ownership.

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7. Golf Questions—Physical and Social Anxiety

Timestamps: 31:06–39:58

• Andrew, a non-golfer, quizzes Luke on the logistics (what is "par," can you get sore, the etiquette around strangers)—which opens conversation about aging, small talk fatigue, and social pressure.
• Luke discusses how his priorities have shifted: "I used to have a much higher interest in conversations with complete strangers than I do now." (Luke, 32:03)

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8. Golf Culture and Regional Stereotypes

Timestamps: 39:58–41:29

• The hosts joke about the types of golfers drawn to rural courses versus urban courses, pondering what sociopolitical signals they might encounter, referencing "Let's Go Brandon" shirts vs. "protect my money" style conservatism.

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9. Nostalgia for NPR’s Friday Roundtable

Timestamps: 42:51–46:33

• Luke reminisces about listening to All Things Considered’s Friday political roundtable (Robert Siegel, David Brooks, E.J. Dionne), which New York Times recently revived as a podcast. The sound of Robert Siegel’s voice brings him back:
  • “Robert Siegel…is the medicine that I need on this Friday.” (Luke, 46:33)
• Robert Siegel’s reflection on the communal joy of laughing with strangers at a movie (the new Naked Gun) resonates deeply.

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10. Listener Voicemail: The Wonders of Breakfast Pizza

Timestamps: 54:06–58:58

• A listener calls in to defend the honor of Quick Trip (the "QT"/Midwest chain, not "KT"), extolling their breakfast pizza—scrambled eggs, sausage, gravy, bacon—as a beloved regional staple.
• Luke and Andrew looking at photos agree it seems “pretty good” but worry they’d need an immediate nap after consumption.

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11. Snack and Donut Shame: Internal Food Rules

Timestamps: 58:58–65:33

• The conversation turns to late-night cravings (sweets, peanut butter on random bread products) and deeply ingrained food “rules” from childhood—how things like eating chips from the bag or eating two donuts somehow trigger guilt.
• "A donut is almost by definition a tease for me. I'll see a box of donuts. They look good...one donut doesn't feel like enough, but if I ate two, I'd feel bad about myself." (Andrew, 61:52)
• Both hosts acknowledge the random, arbitrary rules governing enjoyment of treats, and reflect on the importance of not overthinking occasional indulgence.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On sleep deprivation and plans gone awry:
  "On a day when I would have been more responsible the night before, I would have just turned over and gone back to sleep after my first alarm went off. But this time I was like, nope, don't trust your secondary and tertiary alarms." (Andrew, 07:40)

• On “Grandma’s Pantry” Subreddit:
  "It's not about, like, showing, oh, look how gross this food has gotten. It's more like, oh my God. Do you remember when, like, this common product had this label?" (Andrew, 09:08)

• On napping shame:
  "I feel like there's a stigma around napping." (Andrew, 10:59)

• On family and pet routines:
  "[Bingo] just marched right onto my lap and without any ado, just sat down, made himself comfortable, and in moments was sleeping." (Andrew, 14:39)

• On house projects and expectations:
  "It's so hard for me to not be so, like, brusque with the carpet person because I had my expectations up here and now they're being dashed against the rocks of reality." (Luke, 27:41)

• On golf nerves:
  "I'm worried about being tired of mishitting the golf ball and of Sam having to go, all right, you'll get there." (Luke, 19:03)

• On late-night peanut butter improvisation:
  "You're ending up putting, like, peanut butter and honey on half of a hot dog bun, and you're horfing it over the sink, and you're like, this isn't what I wanted…But I needed something sweet." (Andrew, 60:33)

• On why donuts are fraught:
  "If I eat one, I'm not satisfied. But if I ate two donuts, I'd feel bad about myself." (Andrew, 61:52)

• On nostalgia & public radio:
  "Robert Siegel…is the medicine I need on this Friday." (Luke, 46:33)

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Segment Highlights (with Timestamps)

• 04:25–08:26 — Andrew recounts post-Mariner’s game high; Friday sleep crash predictions.
• 08:26–10:59 — Delighting in the "Grandma's Pantry" subreddit.
• 10:59–15:37 — Napping shame and evolving pet bonds.
• 16:23–23:14 — Luke's golf anxiety; family weekend logistics snowball.
• 23:14–32:03 — Stymied home improvement: drywall, paint, and the curse of planned perfection.
• 31:06–39:58 — Golf Q&A: social and physical pressure; small talk aversion.
• 42:51–46:33 — Robert Siegel’s radio roundtable returns; communal movie joy.
• 54:06–58:58 — Listener’s ode to Quick Trip’s breakfast pizza.
• 58:58–65:33 — Snack improvisation, hot dog buns, and donut shame.

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Tone, Style & Takeaway

True to TBTL form, the episode brims with engaged, self-reflective banter. Luke and Andrew poke fun at their quirks, honor their anxieties, and create a cozy, communal atmosphere for listeners. The episode swings from the silly (expired Iron Kids bread) to the poignant (pet grief, nostalgic media), mixing comfort and comedy.

Perfect for: TBTL fans, podcast newcomers, and anyone who appreciates candid, relatable talk about life’s minor absurdities, pet love, food guilt, and accidental home chaos.

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End of summary.

Transcript

[A]

Ah, Lieutenant Hoekstrand. You are Spinal Tarp.

[B]

I'm Janine Petitroni, and this is Spinal Tap.

[A]

Spinal Tap. I'm a stick. I'm Lieutenant Bob Hoekstrat. Welcome to Lindbergh Air Force Base. This is your gentleman's first visit to a military facility. Fine. May I start by saying how thrilled we are to have you here? We are such fans of your music and all of your records. I'm not speaking of yours personally, but the whole genre of the rock and roll and some of the exciting things that are happening in music today. And let me explain a bit about what's going on. This is our monthly at ease weekend. Gives us a chance to kind of let down our hair. Although I see you all have a head start. These haircuts wouldn't pass military muster, believe me. Although I shouldn't talk. My hair's getting a little shaggy, too. Better not get too close to you. They'll think I'm part of the band. I'm joking, of course. Shall we go in and I'll show you around? Walk this way, please. Right through here. Did you ever run into a musical group, works out of Kansas City, calls themselves Four Jacks in a Jill? They've been at a Ramadan there for about 18 months. If you're ever in Kansas City and you want to hear some good music, you might want to drop by.

[C]

Tbtl.

[B]

Guess what day it is. Guess what day it is. It's Friday Friday Gonna get down on.

[A]

Friday Everybody's looking forward to the weekend.

[B]

Who are you and how did you get in here?

[A]

I'm the locksmith.

[B]

And I'm the locksmith.

[A]

Quite a lot of them are uncooperative. Some of them have had a little bit to drink. And smart Alex, they swear at you. They tell you to get lost.

[C]

Mind your own business.

[A]

So it's quite a problem for us, really.

[B]

It isn't so much about what it is altogether. It's more about the modulation and what it is once it starts. It's a little bit of a groove. Flashes of Quincy and boom goes a dynamite.

[C]

Well, all right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Friday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

[B]

It's not as sexy as sending astronauts to the moon.

[C]

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

[D]

Notice me, senpai.

[B]

Notice me.

[C]

Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia, where it's looking like we're gonna have a beautiful day here on this.

[B]

Oh, ma pa.

[C]

It's just beautiful. On this Friday, the 12th of September, which is also, of course, the day that we celebrate episode 4553 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. We are now less than 500 episodes. I guess this has actually been the case for a while, but we are. We're in the home stretch towards 5,000 people. 5,000 episodes have now got 400, 447 to go. They say never do math on the radio. That's one of the. One of the first things they teach you. But this isn't the radio, folks. This is podcasting and I'm allowed to do math. Speaking of radio, though, I heard something today that gave me such an incredibly good feeling because I associate it with a certain kind of radio happening on a Friday from many years ago.

[B]

I feel, I feel, I feel. I feel happy of myself.

[C]

And I want to play some of this audio for you and for Andrew because maybe it'll make you feel happy of yourself as well. I don't know how happy of myself I'm gonna be feeling tomorrow on Saturday on, like, hole. I don't know, 11 of the Golf course because I'm actually gonna go play a full round of golf, which I have not done in 25 years. Don't make me swing on you, bro. And by the way, I wasn't good 25 years ago and I feel I'm. Golf is supposed to be. Well, who was it? Like Mark Twain said, golf is a good walk spoiled. It's supposed to be fun. People love it. I'm mildly dreading it because I feel. Well, anyway, I'll talk about it coming up here. Oh, and speaking of my good friend Andrew Walsh, the longest running cobra of the show may be best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He. I've been talking to him before we started recording. The guy is en fuego. He's absolutely buzzing. I could almost describe him as like a human exclamatic I Ocean point. He's a human exclamatic Iotian point named Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[B]

Good morning, Luke. You've got about, I'm guessing 40, maybe 50 good minutes with me.

[C]

Yeah. What is going on?

[B]

Completely crash out. So let's just get it because you.

[C]

Did not get quite enough sleep last night. Or you. Let's skip right to the badlands.

[B]

Let's get right to the Badlands. So what do you think about the 11th inning? I went to that ball game last night that went on for 1212 innings. Only the game ended until maybe. Trying to think the game ended close to 11. That's right. I think it was like getting close to 11pm and then had to walk through Pioneer Square to catch the E line. That is like another hour long ride home. 50 minutes home. Then I'm really. I'm home. The Mariners won. I'm.

[C]

I'm surprised. It takes that long shooting from Pioneer Square up to where you are on a. A traffic less Aurora Avenue. I would think that you.

[B]

50 minutes. I looked because my buddy was also surprised to hear that it was such a long traffic.

[C]

I guess it's because it stops.

[B]

I forget it does make stops.

[C]

That's part of how the bus works now.

[B]

The E line is an express line, so. Good. By the way, we are starting where we should be starting. Some details about that.

[C]

Yeah, right in the bus lands. This is for everybody who lives the bus lands. Are one neighborhood over from the Badlands.

[B]

That's right. You tell. Well, you take the bus through the bus lands to get to the Badlands. But yeah, so it's a bit of a. It's a bit of a drive. But I'm also like buzzing. Right. The Mariners won in pretty dramatic fashion, but it was a very long game and the. The win put them in first place. A tie for first place. It was just like a very big night for me and sport in Seattle sports. And so by the time I get back to my neighborhood, I stop into the vibe for a very legitimately, a very quick recap or a nightcap, I should say, because they were closing at midnight. So he's like. I walked in and the bartender who I'd never seen before said, hey, you know, we're. I already did last call. We're closing at midnight. And it's about like, I don't know, 10 till midnight, 11:45 maybe. And. And I said, oh, you already called last call. And I was totally fine with that. You know, like I was, you know, I was ready to.

[C]

You got plenty of twisted tea at your house.

[B]

Yeah, I didn't get stampy. You know how sometimes you're really looking forward to something and you think the bar is open until one or even a restaurant, whatever it is. You just really are like, I'm Locke into this. And then you show up and something gets in the way of that. I have a tendency to get a little pouty in those moments, but I was totally fine with that. I didn't know they close at midnight. And I was like, okay, that's fine. He's like, so I can only serve you one shot. And I was like, oh. I said, what about a shot and a beer? He's like, well, yeah.

[C]

How about three rounds of that?

[B]

Of course.

[C]

Crazy. Here, are these hot wings perfectly prepared to your liking?

[B]

I said, what about a Caesar salad? He's like, well, of course. But anyway, no. So I was forced to have a pretty quick nightcap there, but then got out of there at midnight. But then I come home, I'm still, you know, I'm still just really buzzing and I'm listening to this Pablo Torre episode, which I know you approve of that I had started on the bus but hadn't quite finished bingo. I'm a single parent this weekend because Genevieve's out of town, so bingo needed a lot of attention. So anyway, I don't think I laid my head on a pillow until about 3am this morning. And here we are. You know, it's not super early right now. It's only 10. But I did get out of bed a little bit earlier than usual because I didn't trust myself to close my eyes again. It's weird. On a day when I would have been more responsible. The night before, I would have just turned over and gone back to sleep after my first alarm went off. But this time I was like, nope, don't trust your secondary and tertiary alarms. Get going. Get the day started. Which I did. But I know how this works around I'm going to say noonish 1145 ish. I am going to start thinking, well, maybe if I just lay down on the couch for just a second just to catch up on some headlines. When I say headlines, I mean what people are saying on Reddit. In Grandma's Pantry. Subreddit. My new favorite subreddit.

[C]

What's going on in Grandma's Pantry? And please don't let the answer be dirty.

[B]

Are you familiar with the Aerosmith song what's Going on in Grandma's Pantry?

[C]

I sure am not.

[B]

Neither am I. But it's gotta be out there somewhere. No, you said it. It just sounded like an heiress from the song. Grandma's Pantry is a subreddit where people take photos of long expired, like little kind of home products, but mostly food products. Like, it'll be like a shaker of Parmesan cheese that expired in 1999 that they found in their grandma's pantry. But I love looking at all the labels and everything.

[C]

Oh yeah, this Miracle Whip.

[B]

Oh, are you on it? You're in it? Yeah.

[C]

Oh yeah, I'm on it. You scroll through.

[B]

It's such great nostalgia. It's not about, like, showing, oh, look how gross this food has gotten. It's more like, oh, my God. Do you remember when, like, this common product had this label? Because this is still in my grandma's pantry.

[C]

Love it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So basically what's going to happen is you're at about noon today, you're going to maybe sort of recline on the couch.

[B]

Just for a second, Luke. Just for a second.

[C]

Just for a second. And then maybe just because, you know, it's like, hey, you're, you're legally owed your 15. You're two 15s and a lunch.

[B]

I negotiated for that.

[C]

And so then you're like, well, I'm allowed to take my 15, and I'm just going to take it lying down on this couch and just kind of look, maybe looking at the news, but then that'll actually be Grandma's pantry on Reddit. And then your eyes will get a little heavier and a little heavier, and the next thing you know, you will have conked out. Is that the, is that the, the likely way that this afternoon, this midday, goes for you?

[B]

Yes. Which would be totally fine on a Friday if I hadn't wasted my week. I knew that this is the way Friday was going to maybe shape up for me. I knew it was maybe going to shape up this way. I still hedged my bet on that. So I tried to get all my newsletter. I kept telling myself, get your newsletter stuff done early this week so that on Friday when you're ready to crash out after the show, you don't have a lot of work to do. But I've done no work on the newsletter. And I appreciate you doing the hey Dummies this week. So that took some responsibilities off my plate. But yeah, so I'm going to accidentally. I'm sure it'll happen that I'll accidentally, quote, unquote, fall asleep at some point this afternoon. Then I'll wake up at like 2 and I'll be, oh, damn, I got to do the newsletter. And then I'll write something crabby. Can I tell you something very sweet, though, related to mid afternoon naps, which is something that I try to avoid because I don't, I don't like waking up from naps. Napping in the middle of the day. I don't like the look, you know, if Genevieve were to come home, which she does.

[C]

That's a tough one.

[B]

That's a tough one. There's just something. I feel like there's a stigma around napping.

[C]

And I don't think there should be. By the way, I want to say this. I'm not here to shame any nappers. I am a little less of a napper now, but spent a significant part of my life heavily enmeshed in the nap life. It should not be stigmatized. And yet. Yeah. Particularly when you live with someone else and they're working. Maybe they're working from home or they're just like. It's. It's really hard to make the argument that, like, I need to take this nap right now for medical reasons. And it's unrelated to the fact that I was drinking alcohol last night till very late. That was always the case with me. My napping was mostly related to how much carousing I'd been doing the night before, which, again, the people that have been in my life, my romantic partners to their. I think I understand why they were less than, like, fully sympathetic that I needed to take a nap because I had drank too much the night before. Before.

[B]

Yeah. And just generally. I mean, it's funny, though, if I ever saw Genevieve taking a nap in the middle of the day, I would never judge her.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

But I. Nah. Anyway, Genevieve's a more productive member of society than me. All of that is to say. So now that Bingo is an only cat, I had been wondering if his.

[C]

Oh, he finally got that account up.

[B]

Only cats. Yeah, he did. Oh, it's expensive, but worth it.

[C]

How do you say ooh la la in Italian?

[B]

He actually has been posting on Pawpedia for a while, actually. And then when he. Well, he's.

[C]

He's in that digital life.

[B]

Started going.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Make some money off of it. Anyway, I was wondering if he'd be seeking out a little bit more attention after Professor Bananas passed. And, you know, a couple of things have been happening with Bingo the cat, which is. He's matured a lot. We've seen him, like, kind of. His behavior has sort of changed in the past six months anyway. Like, he's still, you know, a lot of fun. He likes to chase the laser pointer and stuff, but like. Like some of the constant kitten energy isn't there. He's not always looking for trouble the kind of the way he used to be. And he's a very social cat. And so I was wondering, I wonder if he'll become a little bit more snuggly. Now, when I say snuggly. He is a cat who loves to be picked up. He loves to lay on his back. He loves to be cradled in your arms like he's not somebody who shies away from that kind of physical affection. But he's not like my old cat Theo, who would just at any moment, jump on your lap, curl up and be like, this is my place. Like, Theo was a true lap cat. Bingo isn't like that. Sometimes he'll snuggle up kind of near you. He likes to be near you, but not necessarily on you. But I think it was maybe Monday of this week, maybe a new tradition started. I did lay down on the bed, sort of, or sort of like kind of. I sat down on the bed, you know, legs out, torso up. You know what I'm talking about. Leaning against the headboard, reading my book. And I was like, come here, Bingo. Come on, come sit with me. The dude jumped up on the bed, looked at me, and then just took two bold steps, walked right onto my lap, curled himself up, and just went right to sleep. Like, often when he's settling down. Come on. When he's settling down, often he'll like, he'll start by cleaning himself. He'll be like, okay, this seems. And he kind of. He's a little bit coy. He's like, oh, it looks like you're chilling. Maybe I'll chill over here kind of near you. And I'm going to clean myself. I'm just here to clean myself. This is his attitude. But then, of course, he gets done cleaning himself. And then he's like, well, maybe I'll just curl up into a comma right here next to you. And then he'll relax. But there's always this process of him sort of settling in. But the other day he just marched right onto my lap and without any ado, just sat down, made himself comfortable, and in moments was sleeping. And then once he falls asleep, he starts rolling over on his back and stretching his legs all over the place and like, poking my belly and all this stuff. That was Monday, Tuesday, around the same time, in the afternoon. I wanted to see if he'd do it again. Did it again three days this week when Genevieve was at work. I think when Genevieve's at home, it sort of splits his attention. But when it's just me and the. When it's just the boys here, he.

[C]

Has got big boys making a big noise.

[B]

I'm gonna take it to the street.

[C]

Are you ready for this?

[B]

Oh, man, Luke, it means the God damn world to me. We all miss bananas and this little. This little show of affection and the fact. And I'm like, I don't think this is going to last. Forever. I said, we're going to be dog sitting soon. That might interrupt some things. I have a travels next week. So he's a cat of routine. But then once those routines are broken, they're sort of hard to start again. So I don't know how long we can have these afternoon little naps. Me and the Bing stir. But I have been absolutely loving it. So that might play into this afternoon.

[C]

What you're saying is if there isn't a newsletter this week, it might be because you were on the couch and then bingo decided to curl up on you on the couch. And that's just how we find you Monday morning. That's how Genevieve finds both of you Monday morning when she gets back.

[B]

I can't even newsletter. I can't even guarantee you there will be an end of this episode. That's. I don't even. I don't even know how far I'm gonna be able to make it today. But, you know, now that I think about it, Quick programming note here. Were those my big weekend plan?

[C]

Your big weekend plan is to kind of just relax, putter around the house, kick it with bingo, watch baseball. Sounds like a. Sounds like a real nice weekend for you, sir.

[B]

Yep, that's my plan. What is yours? I heard a little bit about it in the intro.

[C]

Yeah. Well, okay, so my brother Sammy is coming down tomorrow and we're going to go play golf because he is, like, very into golf now and I think is pretty good at golf. And I am not very good at golf. And the reason I'm anxious about this is because unlike, I don't know, maybe hitting the tennis ball around or going and shooting some hoops, 18 holes of real golf is an undertaking. And when you're bad at it, like, I'm going to be. It's a. It can be a long afternoon if one of the people is pretty good and one of the people is not very good. Like, I'm going to be hitting a lot of balls, like into the trees or. Or topping the ball, and it only goes 5 inches, and then I got to go hit it again. Like, I just remember even when I was playing golf more Frequently in my 20s, in my early 20s, there were days when it was just like, wow, this is a long. This is a long day of doing this. And I'm just feeling. And also, if we get. So it's going to be the two of us, are they going to put us with two other people? Are they going to make a foursome? Because they do that sometimes.

[B]

Is that your Pardon me? I think you and I both mullaned at the same time. I could be wrong about that. I started to talk, I started to interrupt you and then I burped. But I. Is that your kind of worst case scenario? Like on top of all of this, like you even doubting yourself in this? Is it even worse thinking, oh my God, strangers are going to be judging me?

[C]

It's definitely not the best case scenario in my mind. Mostly because I just don't want to make small talk with some people that I'll never see again.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Now my brother, my brother, who's an avid golfer, he a lot of times goes out as a single and then they'll just put you with a group and then you just kind of play. I've always found that to be a little uncomfortable because again, it's. You're now spending four hours with total strangers where you're also doing a physical thing that can be commented on or they're doing a physical thing. It's like, it's not just like you're, you know, you're. You're at a restaurant and it's kind of family style seating and there's a couple of people sitting next to you having their own meal. It's like you're got. You're in it with these people now golfing. So I'm hoping we at least can stay as a duo. But I, and of course I had much like your plans to write the newsletter. I had plans. I've known about this for months. No, maybe two months. I had plans to go to the driving range. I had plans to go maybe play a practice round. Just kind of feel it out a little bit. Did none of that. Now that's gotten down to. I'm going to try to get to the golf course 45 minutes early tomorrow to hit some balls at the driving range. That's what it's down to.

[B]

So not only are you going to, but also the actual 18 holes are tomorrow. So you're adding to your 18 holes, which are already.

[C]

It's not a physical thing so much as far as you know. I'm not worried about being tired of hitting the golf ball. I'm worried about being tired of mishitting the golf ball and of Sam having to go, all right, you'll get there. Okay. No, I saw something. There was something. There was, you know. Oh, I. There yet something going there. Just got to straighten that out. I'm already thinking about the things Sam is going to have to say to me to try to make me Sound less, make me feel less embarrassed about how, how bad I am at golf. I mean, again, it's the kind of thing that you can't just go out there after 20 years and play a round of golf and have it go, okay, that's not how this works.

[B]

Let me ask you this, is there. This is like asking a, asking a tiger why he has stripes. I was gonna ask like, well, why are you jumping right in if you're.

[C]

Gonna pick an animal? Tiger is appropriate to the sport.

[B]

Hey, that's a good point, man. I'm really firing on all cylinders and.

[C]

I didn't even realize we need you to be a rolling 08 more. I think that's actually good for your energy levels. I mean, yes, it goes off a cliff at 11, but from 10, 15 to 11, it's pretty great.

[B]

The cylinder going, I didn't even know I had. But I was just gonna say like, why did you agree to 18? Like, why didn't you say, well, I haven't done this in 25 years. Maybe we should do like nine holes. Isn't that.

[C]

I don't know, I guess it wasn't even. Well, first of all, again, for my brother Sam, I know that golf is his happy place. He is constantly, like, if he gets a day off, he's going and playing. Or in fact, when he came down, when we did that siblings weekend, he got down to the area early so that he could actually go play a round of golf before he came over and hung out with us like whenever. Cause he's got a young child and a family. And so when he gets a little time to himself, he's almost always wanting to fit in some golf. And so I guess I. First of all, it didn't even occur to me to just suggest nine holes. Maybe that would have been smarter. But also I feel like, no, he's excited to play golf, he likes doing this, and he would rather play 18 holes. Now the other thing that happened was there was some communication that I was unaware of within Becca's family that we were also doing some kind of a sort of get together out here this weekend that was going to be like me and Becca and her brother and his wife and some dogs. There's a lot of poodles that are going to potentially be coming out here. And I had somehow lost the thread on this. So I'd sort of somehow, I guess, double booked this weekend. And then last weekend we were all together and then they just said, hey, so are we coming out next weekend? Is that happening? And I Was like, oh, was that. Did we have. Did. Was that ever, like, actually, like, locked in? And then everyone who wasn't me agreed it had been locked in. So I had to. I had to acknowledge that I think I was the problem.

[B]

I mean, that scans.

[C]

I mean, but. But like. So then I was like, well, I've got my brother coming out. But also there's this whole. There's a whole thing with the weather out here, which is it is much more fun to come spend time here at this place when the weather. When it's not raining actively because there's a deck and, you know, some outdoor stuff to do. And the dogs. Oh, by the way. Yeah. Because they have a poodle. I'm watching Gigi. And then there's a third poodle in the mix, dj, who belongs to the other brother and his wife, and they're out of town. So there's just a lot going on. Anyway, I basically thought, well, look, part of the whole point of me trying to get in this house all the way that it is now was I want to enjoy it with the people that I love, and why not have more of the people that I love here? So I basically said, hey, Sam, are you cool with some more folks coming out on Saturday night? He said, absolutely. And so now it's gone from being like, me and my bro are going to hit some golf balls and like, watch the Seahawks on Sunday to I gotta make a grocery list. I gotta like, I gotta change bedding in multiple rooms. I gotta like, I'm on. I'm on. Get ready for people to come over this weekend mode now. So that means at 7:10 this morning, Andrew, I was out painting these, like in the upstairs of the house. There are these built in kind of cabinets that are. That are at about. They're kind of at floor level and they have these sliding wood doors that. There's four of them and they all overlap in different ways so you can make room to get things out, but then you slide them back. It's kind of a weirdly elaborate track system.

[B]

It's cool.

[C]

And I decided last night at about, I don't know, whenever it was I woke up to pee that probably these doors should all be like a kind of a navy blue gray color. So I got something. You painted them.

[B]

You said these are built ins, Right? Is this something that you liked in the original design of the house or did you install these?

[C]

No, these. I didn't like them in the original design of the house. I still don't love them. I'm Trying to take a picture of these.

[B]

They sound pretty cool. But I think you there. When you say built in, I'm already, like, halfway there, I think.

[C]

Yeah, it's. It's hard to explain. It's like. One of the things about my house is that there's not very much storage because it was a very small house when they built it, and then they kind of expanded it, but, like, not in a thoughtful way. And then I also kind of changed it, and also not in the most thoughtful way. I kept taking down walls and opening things up, which is great. But all of a sudden, you don't have anywhere to put anything because you're getting rid of a lot of the. A lot of the closets and walls and things that were doing some of that. So when you go up the stairs into the upstairs of the house, which is this weird. I don't know if it's a converted attic or just there were very short people that lived here, but you kind of. It's a little hunched over. The one thing that is kind of nice is that there is. There are these, like, openings that are kind of under one of the eaves of the roof, basically, and they have these doors that slide in front of them. And I've been on this whole project to try to spiff the upstairs up. I had all new sheetrock that was just put in. I just had it all painted last night as of, like, nine. The guy was finishing the painting. So, of course, now, I was telling you this before the show. None of the light fixtures are in the upstairs because there was new sheetrock being put on. So there's actually no overhead light. None of the outlets have their covers on them. The light switches don't have.

[B]

There's.

[C]

It's a. It's gonna be a lot better pretty soon. Oh, speaking of being a grumpus. Wait, they were.

[B]

Somebody speaking of being a grumpus.

[C]

Well, you were talking about how when you went into the Vibe and they told you that they were closing, you. You didn't have that reaction you can sometimes have of being a little stampy or.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. A little pouty. Yeah.

[C]

So I was supposed to. I thought that I had. I'm sorry. This is just devolving into this whole conversation.

[B]

I have some more questions about golf, just so you know. Okay, good.

[C]

Let's circle back to that. I thought that I had absolutely somehow lucked out and. And just threaded a needle with this whole thing, which was. So the upstairs of the house, I had them put in new sheetrock because Basically, it was. I don't know if you have parts of your house that are like this anymore, but, like, there were so many different surfaces in the upstairs. On the walls, there was places with weird wallpaper. There was places that were textured in a certain way. There were places that were just crummy. None of it was consistent, if that makes any sense. Every surface was a little different, and it's like, you could try to paint it, but, like, it would still look janky. So I figured that the best way to do it was to actually have them come in and put a very thin drywall, like the thinnest kind of drywall they can over everything, and then mud, tape, and sand it so it just feels uniform up there. And so that was all happening, and that was all going to wrap up, like yesterday was the plan, and it would be painted. And then I had also decided that it used to have really junky carpet up there, which kind of smelled gross and was just weird. You know, it's not like moving into a house and there's carpet that somebody I don't know had in there for 30 years, 20 years before you lived there. I feel like carpet really keeps a lot of memories of what may or may not have gone on. And so I ripped all of that stench. Exactly. It's epiphenomenal, this carpet, man. So I. I pulled all the carpet out a long time ago, and I was going to have new carpet put in on the stairs, and that was supposed to happen, like, next week or something, but the gal from the carpet place called me earlier this week, and she said, hey, I have great news, because I know you had some. You had some stuff going on. You were hoping to get this carpet installed sooner rather than later. Our guy had a cancellation, and I think you can come do it on Friday. And I was like, you got to be kidding me. This is so perfect. Like, the new walls will be all in. It's going to be painted. It's going to have that new paint smell, and then the new carpet's going to go in. It's going to be really nice up there, and there's going to be people staying over, and I'm going to feel happy of myself because the upstairs is going to look a lot nicer. So that was my whole thought. This whole week. I was like, that's. It might have even been part of why I agreed to have more people over. I was like, hey, well, let's all enjoy this newly. This newly comfortable upstairs together. And then I got a call Yesterday from Theresa. It's like Teresa with a D. And that's how I remember it. And so when Theresa called me to tell me that the carpet installation was moving up, I was like, oh, my God, Theresa, you are my absolute hero. I have people coming over this weekend. This will be amazing. And then I was. Yesterday, I was working away on the house and I got a call. I looked down, I saw it was the carpet people. And I thought maybe they were just confirming, but it was Theresa saying, yeah, I was wrong. He's not going to be able to do it. And when I tell you it was so hard for me to not be so, like, brusque with the carpet person because I had had my expectations up here, and now they were being dashed against the rocks of reality. It's not her fault. She was just trying to be. She was trying to be helpful in the first place. But it was so hard for me because when we had the previous conversation, I was like, oh, you're my hero. Yeah, high fives all around. And now this one, I'm just like, get off of my cellular telephone line. That was my feeling. I didn't do that because that's not nice.

[B]

Not my framily.

[C]

Exactly. You are not in my five anymore.

[B]

Yes. Which is not a night, and this is not a weekend.

[C]

And so, I mean, it was. Which is not fair because all this person was trying to do was actually do me a solid. The solid didn't work out. That wasn't their call. It's fine. But that feeling of, like, you know what it felt like? It feels like when you have the GPS talking to you, and then you're. You can see the house that you're going to and it's still talking to you. You're just like, shut your little GPS mouth right now.

[B]

I've heard you say that before, but I know never have sound on gps.

[C]

This was more in the olden days, I think, like, maybe like in the earlier. I don't usually have the sound on anymore, but in the. In the early days of, like, I don't know, even. Was there something before Waze, before Google Maps, whatever the earliest versions were. I remember having those things on and. And then, you know, it's telling you the directions and I'm listening very closely, particularly if I'm out of town, if I'm in a place I don't, you know, know very well. And then you're like, I'm driving to, I don't know, a school to do an interview or something, and then you can Just see it. It's right there. And it's like you pull up and it's still telling you things about it. And it's like, I don't need you anymore, robot. Get out of here. That was a little bit of the feeling I had. I didn't. I tried to not, you know, be rude, but I was a little let down about that. So now it's another factor in all this.

[B]

It's like the.

[C]

Because the. The floor is kind of jacked up right now because there was drywall, there's all this, like, paint splatters, all this stuff. Because that was all going to be covered by carpet, by beautiful, pristine Berber carpet, Andrew. And now it's not going to be covered by beautiful, pristine Berber carpet this weekend.

[B]

Would you have approached the drywall project differently if Theresa hadn't gotten your hopes up? Or was this. You're just back to what the reality was going to be.

[C]

I'm just back to. I'm back to what was always going to be.

[B]

Going to be the plan.

[C]

It should be fine. I mean, I'm fine.

[B]

This is. Honestly, though, and I think you would agree, you would agree with my own self assessment here. I am somebody who is always lowering expectations. Right. Like, I seriously am. Like, I. If somebody asks me to do something, it's always like, I will do my best on this. But just so you know, it's probably not going to work out that great. And like, I just like to lower expectations so that when I actually do the job, if I just get it just at about par, to use a golf term, I'm trying to get you in kind of in the, in the mood there. Then you're just like, oh, man, this guy just nailed it. Because he let me know about all the difficulties it was going to stand in the way.

[C]

Yes. So anyway, back to your golf question. You said you had a few more golf questions.

[B]

Oh, yeah. What does par mean? No, just joking. Some golf questions. You said that. So I think I was maybe misinterpreting some of your worrying about this golf outing. I understand now, you said it's a long day. It's a long day where you're potentially paired up with people you don't know and you have to make small talk with them. I think you have reached an age and a place in your career where you're doing so much talking. You and I have talked about this privately, that making small talk is more difficult for you now than it used to be. Or if not more difficult, I shouldn't put it that way, but. And you can correct me here or agree, but it's less fun. It feels a little bit more like work than maybe it did before. You talked for a living all the time.

[C]

Absolutely. I think I used to have a much higher interest in conversations with complete strangers than I do now.

[B]

Yeah. So I know that the long day is something, but is there no physical toll, really, that you're worried about? Keep in mind I'm being serious here. I've never golfed before. When I was a kid, I had a little golf bag with a bunch of actual children's size golf clubs. But real golf clubs, I'm not talking about the plastic ones. And I would. Any given day, you could look out in the window in Valley City, Ohio, and see young Andy carrying his golf bag around, hitting golf balls around the yard. But that's my only experience with golf at age 49. Doesn't Fred Willard go at age 4?

[C]

I think that's Ron when he's, he's though. Hey, what happened?

[B]

What happened? I think I was just listening to that recently at age 49. I'm not trying to get in your head either, by the way. I'm being quite serious, though. Is there going to be a phenomenon where it's just like, shit, I don't use these muscles that often now you were just chopping wood and I'm assuming that you got paid for this, but you were just chopping a whole bunch of wood with Chris Hayes not that long ago. And I was like, worried. I'm like, ooh, you're going to feel that in your back or whatever, not because you're out of shape, but just because you're swinging an ax in a way that you don't usually. And you're going to feel muscles that you hadn't used in that way in a long time. Is there some of that with golf? Do you have to worry about your back? Do you have to think about yourself?

[C]

I probably should be more worried about that stuff now. I think the problem is, Andrew, for all of this, I'm operating as if I'm still 25 years old, which was the last time that I played golf. And so you're. I don't even think. Like in those days, we, for instance, I just looked up the golf course. I'm heartened, I guess, to see that they have golf carts. Because in my days of golfing, we never got a golf cart. Me and my buddy Hugo Coguilla, we would golf at. Mostly at the Jefferson Course, which is on Beacon Hill or sometimes in West Seattle, we play at West Seattle, these muni courses, which means they're just a municipal course. I don't even know if you could rent carts on those courses at the time. So we would just carry our bag. You know, you throw your bag on your shoulder, you walk to where your ball is, you take a swing, you put the bag back up, you walk to where the next thing is. I don't think I've ever even played a round of golf while driving a golf cart, but I'm going to get a golf cart on.

[B]

That could be kind of fun. Are those municipal golf courses, 18 holes as well, or some of them just nine? Because they're in the city?

[C]

I think they're typically 18. I think that's the deal. But I think now. Well, there's like one by Green Lake. That's a short nine. That's really fun. That's what we should have done.

[B]

That's a time that's. You've described this to me. Isn't it almost like a step above putt putt sort of in your approach to golfing a little bit?

[C]

I mean, what it is when you play on a real golf course, okay, there's a range of what, how many strokes each hole is supposed to take. Of course, that is, to answer your question. That was a joke. That's what par means. So you come to a hole and it's a. Let's say it's a five. It's five is. Is par for the hole. You're supposed to be able to get the ball from the tee into the cup in five swings or three swings. So that's a par three. Now, the Green Lake course is just all par three. So there are real par threes on a real golf course, but that's only like on. On the. The one in Green Lake. That's all they have. So every. You're never hitting the ball very far from the tee to the green, which, by the way, can be its own challenge sometimes for a variety of reasons. Like, even though it's a par three, it doesn't mean that it's like super duper easy. That Green Lake course is my favorite. When I was a kid, we used to go. Peter and I would go there all the time, and you bring like two clubs, you bring like a seven club and a putter, and then you just walk around with two clubs. So it's. That's a fun, very low pressure sort of environment. I do think they have to do.

[B]

They should put the last hole on the little duck island there in green lake. That would be windmill. Put a big windmill or something like that.

[C]

Sure. Abraham Lincoln doing something with his arms.

[B]

Absolutely. That would.

[C]

I don't know if I ever saw that. I must have seen that somewhere, because.

[B]

Whenever Simpsons, I think.

[C]

Think when.

[B]

Maybe that's where I thought legs open and close. I can.

[C]

Maybe that's what it is. Because for some reason, when, like, mini golf comes up and I think about that, like the final boss of mini golf, I think of Abraham lincoln now, and I don't think I've ever played a mini golf course that actually had Abraham Lincoln.

[B]

I am. I'm looking here. Yep. I just found the still image of Abraham Lincoln's legs going in and out in a. In a scene in the simpsons. That's definitely where you get it. And that's today's show pick. And any work I can do during the show today is good, Considering that I will be drooling myself to sleep. Drooling myself to sleep. No, I have more questions. Your brother. This idea of. It sounds like your brother's really into golf as you set up. And I don't know where he lives these days, But I'm guessing it's maybe more of an urban place than where you live out there. Is it kind of a treat for him to come out to where you live because there are more good golf courses or even one good golf course that you can enjoy because you live in a more rural area?

[C]

I think there are more good golf courses where he lives, honestly.

[B]

Oh, really?

[C]

They live in west Seattle. I think that just. Even though you're right, Seattle is an urban environment. But I just think that there's. There's a. I. I don't really know what the scene is out here. I mean, that's the thing. I don't live in a part of rural America that is actually. That's like. There are parts of rural America that are very sort of upper middle class. And so therefore, they also tend to come with a lot of golf courses because the people that are living in the area are the kind of folks who. Who would play golf. I live in the kind of area where people are constantly on the lookout for another conservative sasquatch sign to put up.

[B]

Well, I did sort of think when you were kind of describing the neighborhood. Oh, I have a question I've been meaning to ask you for days. That has nothing to do with golf. But as you've been describing your property, where do you keep your lawnmower? You don't have an outbuilding, like, shed, do you?

[C]

I keep both lawnmowers because I've got two Andrew. I've got the riding one, and then I've got the push mower. I keep them both under the deck.

[B]

I thought that was going to be my guess.

[C]

They are covered. So the deck is. Is. It's not an outbuilding, but it is, you know, it does keep things that are underneath it dry. And yesterday I put up so much lattice, I was just a laticing fool on the deck. So because this deck is actually pretty large and because it's from certain parts of the. Of the yard, you're just kind of looking into this. It's slightly chaotic under there. I tried. I'm trying to keep it organized, but anyway, so I. I had to get all this lattice and like, that was the stuff I was ordering from Michigan. And then I had to, like, you know, screw it onto the sides of the deck. But I also had to fur out a bunch of the deck because it's long and boring. But basically, like, I didn't want it to be all kind of wavy and wobbly. I wanted it to be uniform and look nice. So I had to kind of frame out parts of the deck so that the lattice would like. Anyway, that was my whole day yesterday.

[B]

The rabbits away from the lattice, by the way, they'll eat that right up.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. They love that stuff. So anyway, that's where I keep the lawnmowers under the deck.

[B]

Because you were describing sort of what to do with your big, kind of temporary pool thing, and I was sort of picturing your yard, and I was like, yeah, I know. You don't have, like a shed. You don't have one of those sheds that you were describing the other day. Oh, which brings me back to this. You were talking about. Somehow we had a conversation yesterday that. About you walking around your neighborhood and sort of like peeping various people's properties and sort of the. I don't know, the sort of. I don't. Trend of. Of people having, like, kind of sheds or outbuildings that are bigger than their homes and.

[C]

Not a shed, an outbuilding.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I don't know what the. What is the proper word. What's a more specific word than outbuilding? I'm not sure. Workshop, what you said. Yeah. Anyway, I just sort of. That's been sort of swimming around in my head. I mean, is there also part of this idea of being paired up with some folks on the golf course that you just simp. Cannot be around in this.

[C]

I mean, I hadn't even thank you. New fear unlocked, it seemed.

[B]

I know it sounds like I'm trying to get in your head. I'm really not. I'm just curious about these things.

[C]

I mean, that's also a possibility. I. For some reason, I'm thinking that the guys that. By the way, this week's hey Dummies video does come to you courtesy of the or it is at the Home Depot parking lot. Nothing's happening. I'm just sitting in the car with Gigi. But when I'm in that Home Depot parking lot, there are certain trucks that are rolling up and rolling around that are like. I'm like, I don't think me and that person are going to get along. I don't see that guy being on the golf course. The guys that I see being on the golf course around here, yes, they're going to have bad politics. That's a given. But my feeling is it's not going to be their main. They're not going to be wearing a T shirt with cutoff sleeves that says F your feelings. You know, they're not going to be wearing a let's go, Brandon T shirt with the arms cut off while they're coming out to golf. I have a feeling that it's going to draw a different clientele. Again. Do they have bad politics? It's a given out here.

[B]

But my kind of conservatism that it's like, I just want to protect my money, which I'm fine with. So therefore, I don't want to. I don't want to get into, like, oh, I don't know what, like, just dismiss all of the culture stuff going on. Just so long as the policies are good for whatever this person's business is and that the tax rate is low enough and we don't have to put a tax on any inheritances that this is the type of.

[C]

It's a death tax, Andrew.

[B]

Sorry.

[C]

Yes, it's a death tax.

[B]

And if you call it what it.

[C]

Is, you don't use the proper name, then we don't know what you're talking about, sir. Hey, speaking of politics, because I know that's what we really want to get into.

[B]

Yeah, let's get into it.

[C]

I had this great experience this morning. This is not related in a roundabout way. You could say it's related to politics. Do you remember in our youth and by youth, I mean, like our 20s and 30s, we're really kind of coming into our love of public radio how all Things Considered on Friday would have the roundtable that would be basically Robert Siegel and David Brooks from the New York Times, and At that time, E.J. dionne from the Washington Post. And that was such, like, a incredibly comforting thing for me. But comforting is the wrong way to put it because at the time, I didn't know I was getting comforted. At the time, I just thought this is normal life. I didn't realize how special it was to be hearing this kind of content. And for the the wider political world to be as actually sort of like relatively stable as it was, even though it felt unstable to me. But I used to just love on Friday afternoons also usually meant, well, my week's almost over. So, you know, it's doing something. I'm wrapping up the week. It's a Friday. It's All Things Considered. It's Bob Siegel, who's just, to me, the absolute, like, gold standard of public radio broadcasting. And this morning I got up and I would turn on my New York Times audio app looking for something else, and what did I find? They got the gang back together. Andrew, take a listen to this and tell me if this just this here isn't a little trip down nostalgia lane.

[D]

I'm Robert Siegel. I used to host All Things Considered on npr, which included one of my favorite weekly features, a Friday talk about politics with two sharp columnists, David Brooks of the New York Times and E.J. dion, then of the Washington Post, now an opinion writer at the New York Times. Well, seven and a half years after our last politics chat, we are reunited again for a New York Times conversation about what's happening in America today and what's changed since we last spoke back in 2018. EJ David, it's great to see you both.

[B]

Great to see you.

[C]

It's a joy to be with you. And as I was saying, I couldn't resist. It took me a while to get what the joke was E.J. dion was making. He was trying to be like he had been in the middle of a thought 7 1/2 years ago.

[B]

Yes. I wasn't sure if maybe he said that a lot. Maybe that was a verbal tick of his, as I was saying.

[C]

But anyway, just him, Robert Siegel talking. So two guys talking.

[B]

And this is not npr, you said. Right.

[C]

This is the New York Times opinion.

[B]

Brought the game, the gang back together.

[C]

The gang back together.

[B]

Very smart.

[C]

So and it was a half hour, which was longer than they used to get on atc. And I was, I was so tempted to be one of those people that goes into the comments and is like, can we make this a regular thing?

[B]

Right?

[C]

Because I just like, I, you know, I love Robert Siegel. I enjoy those conversations. Sometimes I find David Brooks to be very duplicitous. Yeah, but, but even so, the experience of that, of listening to that just, just warmed my heart this morning. And then. This was the best part, Andrew. At the very end of the segment, Robert Siegel was asking, you know, hey, with everything going on, is there anything that's making you happy right now? Is there anything that's bringing you joy? And they both gave their answers, which were fairly uninteresting. And then this is, this is, this is, this is what everybody needs in their life. Robert Siegel, talking about what's bringing him joy right now.

[D]

I'll share with you, by the way, a joyful experience that I had in this age of streaming. My wife and I seldom go out to see a movie in a movie theater. Indeed, I fear for the existence of the movie theater. But we went out to a movie theater to see the Naked Gun with Liam Neeson, now being a comic actor in the role. And about two dozen other strangers in the dark watched this movie. And as funny as the movie was, it was equally funny to listen to the belly laughs and people choking on their guffaws with this movie for a solid 90 minutes. A non stop laughter. And when the lights came on, I thought, boy, that is the. That is one of the most joyous things I've been part of in quite a while. And I recommend it highly.

[B]

That is.

[C]

And I recommend it highly.

[B]

That is exactly the description I've been giving people. I was at the game with my. But I think I said that on the show after the first time I watched it. And I was just telling my buddy that that same spiel yesterday at the game because he loves movies and he hadn't seen the Naked Gun yet. And I said the exact same thing that I was like. The first time I saw it was just me, Genevieve and two friends of ours. And Genevieve was between me and my other friends. They insisted upon that. And it's one of those things where not every joke is super funny. There are like between 7 and 10 really good jokes in the movie. The rest is just fine. But it's just this constant level of laughing and hearing your friends laugh at things that you didn't maybe react to makes you laugh. And so you're just laughing the whole time. Even though there are some tent poles of really genius stuff. It's just, just, you're just chuckling the whole time. And what's making you laugh is hearing other people laugh. It is an experience that we don't get in the theater very much.

[C]

Robert Siegel. Delighting in seeing the Naked Gun with other people is the. Is the medicine that I need on this Friday. I'll tell you what, if we could. I don't think he has any interest in coming back to the airwaves, but, man, I would love to hear that guy back on the radio somewhere. I've told you, like, one of my greatest moments, I guess, was. And it happened a few times was that Robert Siegel, he had season tickets to the Washington Nationals, and they were really bad in those days, and they had just come back to D.C. so they were kind of like, you know, one of those expansion teams that just doesn't have. They don't have any of the good players yet. And. But. But Robert Siegel's a huge baseball fan, and so he had. He had season tickets, and nobody ever wanted to go with him. That's not true. But, like, he would often be like, hey, I've got this. Got a free ticket if you want to go. So we would go to these Nationals games, and one of the things that stuck out with me is he would come by and pick me up, and he drove a burgundy Ford Taurus station wagon, which was amazing, because even at that time, that was like, this is what you're driving, Robert Siegel. And we would go and sit in the stadium, and they weren't even in their real stadium yet. I think they were playing in, like. I don't know if it was RFK or it was like, a converted, like. Like football field that you were like. It was. And it was, like, brutally hot, and the Nationals were terrible. But I would just get to sit there with Robert Siegel for, like, four hours, feeling like we were sort of colleagues. We were sort of on the same level. It was a very special time in my young life. Maybe that's also why just, you know, hearing him do his thing on the radio for me personally, just feels like a very, very comforting thing to. Thank you, baby. All right, let's thank some donors. These folks are keeping TBTL in business with their donations. This is 100% listener support of this thing that you're hearing right now. We don't have those big New York Times opinion bucks that they're using that they're just showering down on Bob Seagull and E.J. and David. We got to do this the oldfashioned way. We got to beg for it and then hope that people hear our plea. And they did. People like Vernon Palmer in Andrew.

[B]

These folks, Luke, are Famously known as our Tuwillitons.

[C]

There you go, the Tuillitens.

[B]

Now, did I bail you out there, or were you just totally testing me?

[C]

I was. Well, I don't want to say testing you, because we don't do that on this show.

[B]

Did you know that it was too Willa yourself?

[C]

I did, because, like, Willa Cather.

[B]

That's right. Your mnemonic device.

[C]

Yes, it's working. Because I think I was. I had the wrong. I was doing a different mnemonic device that was wrong. And then you corrected me, and then I shifted to I had a different author. Oh, maybe it was Willard Scott. I think I thought it was too Willard. And then you reminded me it was Willa. And then. Or maybe I said to Willow, I had it wrong somehow. You corrected me, I got it right. And now I've just had. I've got that Willa.

[B]

Catherine, do you know how strong a mnemonic device can be? Is mnemonic device the. The umbrella term for any little thing that helps you remember something? I'm trying to think if I'm using that term correctly here, because the example I'm gonna give is Genevieve loves those things, and I'm sure I've told they're very useful. And this is where I think your brain and her brain are very similar. I think you guys come up with those things a lot to help you remember things, and both of you remember things better than me. So it's working. But when Genevieve and I were practically children in our early 20s and dating, and I lived in New Hampshire and she lived in Boston, and I would travel down to Boston to see her, and sometimes she'd travel up to New Hampshire to see me, and we'd spend weekends together. There was this sort of dance I would do sometimes where I would take my car after work to the bus. Bus station, park my car at the bus station, then take the bus down to Boston. And one time, I don't remember exactly how this went down, but I told Genevieve, don't let me forget when we get back into New Hampshire that I can't go home. I have to go to the bus station to pick up my car. Otherwise I'm going to be in trouble. I'm going to wake up on Monday and I can't get to work because my car is still at the bus station. Genevieve's giving me a ride back from. From Boston at this point. So she's like, well, we need a mnemonic device. And she says, when you're driving back north and you're coming into Concord, New Hampshire, and you're almost home. You're going to see the gold dome of the New Hampshire state house. And when you see that gold dome of the New Hampshire state house, you think to yourself, I got to pick up my car at the bus station. And I said, oh, okay, that sounds good. She's given me a ride back. On Sunday night, we passed the state house, as you always do. You always see it from the highway. And we saw it, and we said, oh, gotta get the car from the bus station. And it totally worked. The problem is, I lived in New Hampshire for about seven more years, and every time we saw that state house, which you see a lot because you.

[C]

Were like a Manchurian candidate, I was exactly like.

[B]

She would ring a bell, and I would go pick up my bus, My car at the bus station. We, to this day, if we see a photo or something like, I'm telling you, Veeves were here right now. And I said, genevieve, Statehouse dome. She'd say, don't forget to pick up your car at the bus station. I am totally Manchurian, so I gotta be careful with those things. Yeah, you gotta. Yeah.

[C]

No, you can't imprint too hard on something that you're also gonna see a lot.

[B]

Yes, exactly. Exactly. So thanks for putting up with that story, Vernon.

[C]

Thank you for supporting the show, Vernon. Thanks to Kate March of Seattle, Washington, also one of our donors today. Then we've got Elizabeth McCullough in Columbus, Ohio.

[B]

What's high on both ends and round in the middle? That's not it. No, it's round and high in the middle.

[C]

We're going to be. The University of Washington will be playing the Ohio State University in a few weeks. It's going to be a biggie.

[B]

I mean, it's funny that they're in the same conference.

[C]

Isn't that nuts?

[B]

What a world.

[C]

What a world, indeed. We know who Elizabeth will be rooting for. The Huskies. Because Elizabeth is a good person who loves things that are good and noble, like the University of Washington Huskies. Monica Regimball is out there in Burbank, Washington.

[B]

Holy cow.

[C]

This is my yearly reminder that there is a town in this state which has my last name as its town name.

[B]

Favorite game shows are taped there, right? Yep.

[C]

Beautiful downtown Burbank, Washington, where you can find Monica Regen ball. Joe Scott's over in Kirkland, Washington. Make the jeans.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

And then our pal Kenneth Mejia is in San Francisco, California. I like it when the pronouncer on the name gives me a Compliment. Kenneth says it's Mejia and then says Luke always seems to get this right.

[B]

Yeah, that's a good win.

[C]

So there you go. That's a reminder that I do do some things right on this show once in a while. Thank you to all of our. That was. That was directed at you.

[B]

I wasn't sure if I was supposed to respond to that or not.

[C]

Probably not. But thank you to all of our donors for making TBTL possible. We could not do this without you.

[B]

Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. Oh, man. It's not from a female.

[C]

All right, an email or a V mail before we, as I like to say, slide down that dinosaur into the weekend. Sir.

[B]

Yes. Now, I am slightly nervous about this because I have a voicemail here that I grabbed a week or so ago, and it's been sitting in my little. On my little audio shelf. Do you know I have a folder on my desktop here that says audio cabinet? It's just like random audio that I have that doesn't quite have a home, But I love thinking of it as an audio cabinet anyway.

[C]

Yeah. Cabinet of wonders.

[B]

So I have this in my audio cabinet. It's from a listener. I have it labeled as anonymous. So I don't know if this is somebody hiding their identity on purpose or not. It has something to do with breakfast pizza and the off.

[C]

Breakfast pizza?

[B]

I guess so. And the off.

[C]

Is this a topic on the show?

[B]

I don't. Well, it's about Quick Trip. You know, that convenience store that we were talking about, but I can't remember. I might have even given away the point of this by saying breakfast pizza. Let's see what's going on here. Sorry if I ruined it.

[E]

Hey, Luke and Andrew. Just listening to the slanderous conversation about Quick Trip. It has a Midwest tour correspondent for the program. I figured I'd call in. The thing is, when you look at just the deli section of the Quick Trip, it looks deceivingly like any normal gas station that you see across this great country of ours.

[B]

Now, we just need to make clear here that there was a mistake made on this show where we were referring to Kwik Trip as a average kind of convenience store that has an outsized reputation for being amazing. And then we were taught that there are two different Quick Trips. One which is spelled K W I K, I think. And that's the one we had gone to. That was pretty fine, right? Just capital.

[C]

It's QT versus kt, I believe yes.

[B]

And then somebody said, oh, the ones with Q's. That's the one. That's the cultural phenomenon, and for good reason. So I'm guessing that this voicemail came in maybe before we sort of made that clarification. But either way, take it away.

[E]

It looks deceiving that, like any normal gas station that you see across this great country of ours, however, what you have to really look into is the hot food that you can order. My wife, who is English, one time came home from work, and we're transplants in the Midwest as well, I should say. She's from England. I'm from Colorado. We're in the Midwest. Now she comes home.

[B]

I believe that this person doesn't get into it, but I believe that they met at a law enforcement conference.

[C]

Oh, okay. I thought it was a breakfast pizza conference.

[E]

We're in the Midwest now. She comes home, and she starts raving about this gas station pizza. And I was totally perplexed. What are you talking about? What Quik Trip has is something called breakfast pizza, which is absolutely fantastic. Luke, none of this is something you can eat. So vegetarian earmuffs on Andrew. Maybe not, but.

[C]

Oh, really? The gas station breakfast pizza is not vegan friendly.

[B]

Luke's more of a gas station sushi guy.

[E]

Maybe not, but it's got scrambled eggs, sausage, gravy.

[C]

I'm looking at it.

[E]

Bacon, it's so good. And you can order ahead of time. If you're going to super bowl party in the Midwest and you want to be everyone's favorite person, you gotta go with the breakfast treat. That Quick Trip, everybody's gonna love you. Power out.

[B]

All right. And it's got that European stamp of approval as well, because the caller's wife is from England.

[C]

Now, I'm looking at this. It's. I got a whole thing on the Quick Trip website, the Q. This is QT Quick Trip. The real one. Yeah, the good one. They've got a whole section breakfast pizza.

[B]

So it's a thing.

[C]

And I gotta be honest with you, it looks pretty good.

[B]

Sounds good. I didn't hear any cheese mentioned either there.

[C]

You know, you're right. I'm looking at the eggs. There's probably some cheddar cheese on there, but, yeah, it's got the scrambled eggs. It's got the bacon and the sausage. If you go in for that, I mean, that does. That does not not look really yummy. I do feel like you want to talk about napping. If I had. If that was how I started my day, I would immediately need to Lie down. It looks really good, but it looks really calorically dense. Like that put me right back to sleep.

[B]

Uh oh, now it's. I'm on this website now too and it's saying other things you might like. And I'm looking at something called the chocolate Long John which looks like a maple bar with chocolate on top instead of maple.

[C]

I was having the weirdest like craving for like a sweet treat last night while watching the baseball game. And not like, you know, I've got some ice cream in the freezer and some popsicles and things and a little bit of my down low chocolate, but like, like I don't know why I had this overwhelming desire to have like one Krispy Kreme doughnut like milk. And it was like, I'm not gonna drive all the way to town to get this and I'm not gonna doordash it. I'm just gonna, I guess I'm just gonna not get to have this. But it was weird. I don't usually get those cravings. It was like an intense craving for a very specific kind of sugar hit.

[B]

And did you do anything? Did you replace it with anything? Or do you just white knuckle through?

[C]

I. What did I do at the end of the night? I had my little traditional like evening snack now which is some cut up Granny Smith apple and some Adam's peanut butter. How's that for, how's that for a fun, flirty.

[B]

No, I mean actually that's good. I'm proud of you because as I was saying that I was thinking of my own kind of confession here and I hate myself for this because I'm not a big, I'm not a big sweets guy. Right? But like you say you get to maybe a certain point of night you get to a certain highness, let's say a certain level of stonedness.

[C]

Your Royal highness.

[B]

Yes, exactly. And you're. And it's, it's late. You're like, ooh. You know, I'm not somebody who goes in for sweets very much. But then at that moment you're just like, I need something sweet. But I don't really keep sweets in the house. Maybe because of this exact reason. You know, like we just don't, like we don't just kind of keep them around. And so then what I do sometimes is I find some vessel for peanut butter and honey or peanut butter and jelly. Sometimes the vessel is literally just bread. We just, sometimes we don't have a lot of bread in the house because I've been eating a Lot of pita lately instead. And so, like, when you're like, oh, I don't want to be responsible. I just want something good and sweet. But you haven't really built your grocery list around that. You're ending up putting, like, peanut butter and honey on half of a hot dog bun, and you're horfing it over the sink, and you're like, this isn't what I wanted. This is, you know, but it's just like. But I needed something sweet.

[C]

I do use hot dog buns, though, in unconventional ways. And everybody, get your mind, grandma. Get you and your pantry's mind out of the gutter. The thing about a hot dog bun is that it's just white bread, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So, like, so what I'll. Sometimes what I'll do if I get a hankering, like, I really want, like, some garlic bread or something like that, but I don't have any bread in the house. But I have, like, for some reason, hot dog buns. Lay those things down, hit them with some butter and a little garlic powder, you're in business.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

[C]

Theoretically, you could make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in a hot dog bun, and it would just taste like pretty much having it on Wonder Bread. Right.

[B]

That's what I do in those moments, is what I say. But it just doesn't feel like you're. You're like, oh, you know what I love right now? Like, one of those little Milano cookies or something like that. But then you're like, well, I don't have that. Where it's a very. Like, we have Milano cookies at home. And then cut to, you're standing over the sink eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that you made on a somewhat stale hot dog bun at one in the morning, and you just start thinking about choices that you've made.

[C]

That's all I'm saying. For some reason, it was the taste, and I wanted the mouth feel of. The reason I thought of a Krispy Kreme doughnut was I wanted to bite into something that was really sugary and doughy, but then immediately collapsed.

[B]

Yeah, that's the thing about. About.

[C]

You know what I'm talking about.

[B]

I really. This is. We got to get out of here. But this is a whole thing about donuts for me. And I said something to Genevieve the other day that I stand by, that I felt internally for probably most of my adult life, but I never actually put words to, which is, I really like donuts. Like, generally speaking, I like donuts. I like the taste of donuts I like the experience of eating donuts, but I do it so rarely. And I never bring donuts home because one donut doesn't feel like enough to me. I don't feel this way about most food, but a donut is almost by definition a tease for me. I'll see a box of donuts. They look good. I mean, it's so rare we don't go into an office place. I'm not bringing donuts home. I can't remember the last time I had a donut, but I remember admitting this to Genevieve one time. I'm like, I like donuts, but I avoid them because if I eat one, I'm not satisfied. But if I ate two donuts, I'd feel. Feel bad about myself. And Genevieve said, we'll just eat two donuts. I'm like, I'm not going to be out here just eating two donuts. She's like. She's like, you're an adult. Eat two donuts if you want two donuts. I remember not long after this conversation, she brought home a bag of donuts and said, I want you to eat two donuts.

[C]

I'm going to sit here and watch you. Nobody's leaving this room until you eat two donuts, buddy.

[B]

She gave me two donuts and said, meet me in grandma's pantry. I don't know that I ate the two donuts or not, but I don't know. There are certain things, and I think this maybe gets into some food issues I have. And I don't know if it was because of some sort of maybe judgmental thing that my family had growing up or something. I ate too many chips growing up. Probably, like, I'd make myself a sandwich, a cold cut sandwich, and then you dump a whole bunch of chips on the plate. But one thing we never did, Luke, was eat chips out of the bag. Because eating chips out of the bag, when you turn on the tv, if you see somebody eating chips out of the bag, it's usually a sign of sloth or something. And as somebody who's always struggled with my weight, or maybe that's not even a. The right way of putting it, but it's just been overweight for big chunks of my life. I think I don't want to lean into that stereotype. I think if I saw some, you know, if Michael B. Jordan is in a commercial eating potato chips on his couch, I'm probably not thinking, oh, look at this loser, right? But, like, I don't know. So I just have these weird things. I'm Like, I can't eat two donuts. Like, look at me. That would be so slovenly or whatever. And so therefore, I just avoid donuts altogether. And as I say this and sort of contemplate it, I feel like there's. There's some very light disordery thing going on there. Probably.

[C]

I'm there with you. I'm the same thing. There's plenty of things that I consume throughout the day that are probably not doing me any huge favors that I just don't even think about. But somehow donuts are in a special category of food that, in my mind. And this also is a bit disordered. I should just be enjoying the things I want to enjoy. And, you know, we get this one wild life. Why would I not have more donuts in this one wild life? But I definitely. They're in a category where it feels like, oh, man, I'm having a donut. Like, that's a special occasion. Like, I might have. I might have one donut every four months. And when I'm having that donut, I'm really aware that I'm having that donut.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[C]

Again, there's plenty of other things, like salty stuff for me. It's like, you know, I'll just absolutely house a bag of chips or other things like that fat cheese. There's just plenty of stuff that I eat. That's, again, beer for me.

[B]

I mean, think about that. If I cut out, beer could probably eat a lot more donuts.

[C]

Or if you mashed your donuts up and waited them to ferment, they could get you drunk. Now, then everybody wins.

[B]

Now you're asking the right question.

[C]

That's finally took us all week. But in the 66th minute of the Friday show, we finally started asking the right questions.

[B]

Hey, I don't say this often, but I'm legitimately interested. Interested in hearing about your weekend on Monday. I. I want to know how the golf. How the golfing goes and everything.

[C]

Yeah, I do, too. We'll see. I'm. You know what? I need to. I need to look at this. Not from an ego. This is just another chance for me to kill my ego. Instead of looking at it as, oh, I'm nervous because I'm gonna look silly. I should be realizing I'm gonna be out in the fresh air and the freshly cut grass with my brother, who I love swinging a golf club and.

[B]

Driving a golf cart.

[C]

And driving a golf cart. I've never. Andrew, I've never driven a flipping golf cart.

[B]

I have a lot of experience in that I could give you some tips if you want.

[C]

Okay, great. Well I'll get those on Monday when they're no longer any good to me.

[B]

The tip is just floor it.

[C]

Floor it at all times.

[B]

Boot it in the ass as my dad would say.

[C]

Perfect. All right, that's gonna bring us to the end of our broadcast week. Thank you for listening everyone. Thanks for spending this time with us. We'll be back here on Monday with big reports from how the weekend went and a lot of other stuff I'm sure. So please do join us for that. In the meantime, have a great weekend, stay safe, take care of yourselves and please remember no mountain too tall and.

[B]

Good luck to all. Did you enjoy my broadcast?

[C]

What makes you think I listened to it, Doctor?

[B]

If I hated a program as much.

[E]

As you hate mine I'd probably listen.

[C]

Out of sheer malicious spite power out.