#4556 Deer Me

Summary

TBTL Episode #4556: "Deer Me" – Summary

Date: September 17, 2025
Hosts: Luke Burbank (from Madrona Hill Studio) & guest co-host Phyllis Fletcher (in for Andrew Walsh)

---

Episode Overview

On this Wednesday edition, Luke hosts from his foggy home studio, carefully whispering so as not to disturb two baby deer lounging outside his window, declaring their tranquility as his "main KPI" for the day. The episode features guest co-host and long-time friend of the show Phyllis Fletcher, filling in for Andrew Walsh. The pair dive into nostalgic Seattle memories, dish about the recent passing of viral Olive Garden reviewer Marilyn Haggerty, and indulge in a lengthy, affectionate dissection of their ongoing complicated relationship with The Howard Stern Show. The episode maintains TBTL’s signature goofball, conversational tone with plenty of tangents, listener messages, and delightful asides.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Deer in the Yard and the Pursuit of Quiet (01:27)

• Luke begins the show whispering so as not to disturb two baby deer sunning themselves just outside his studio:

  “Disturbing these two baby deer, or I should say, not disturbing them, is...my prime directive today...It’s my main KPI.” (01:28)

• Sets the tranquil, slightly absurd mood for the episode.

---

2. Seattle Nostalgia and Childhood Artifacts (04:06 - 08:43)

• Phyllis and Luke reminisce about growing up in Seattle:
  • Stories about old phones—Phyllis’ coveted yellow Sculptura phone and the elusive Pac-Man phone.
  • Nostalgia for Seattle landmarks, neighborhoods, and defunct local businesses:
    • “I have started following a couple of these old Seattle vintage Seattle Instagram feeds...all they do is post pictures of shit I remember from when I was a kid.” (06:32)
  • Lamenting how their presence in Seattle, especially on Aurora Avenue, can be tough on significant others forced to listen to endless memory-lane stories.

---

3. Howard Stern Show Analysis and Podcast Culture (08:43 - 20:09)

• Deep-dive on the current state of The Howard Stern Show:
  • Both have been listeners and fans for decades, now grappling with Stern’s evolution and growing self-delusion.
  • Questioning rumors about Robin Quivers’ (Stern’s co-host) health—skeptical about purported controversy:
    • “If even the New York Post had published something about Robin Quivers passing away, would it have not hit your radar and mine?” (11:51 – Luke)
  • Stern’s ongoing antagonism toward podcasting and his apparent self-obfuscation of what his show actually is:
    • “The Howard Stern show is a podcast. I mean, to me it is.” (13:44 – Luke)
    • “Now it’s become like a deliberate self-obfuscation.” (14:14 – Phyllis)
  • Phyllis reveals she now mainly listens to the wrap-up show highlight reel due to emotional fatigue:
    • “I have a hard time listening to a complete show now. I don’t want to listen to him lie to me. I really can’t deal with him lying to himself, and hearing other people be complicit in that.” (16:03)
• Both wonder who will fill the “Howard Stern–shaped hole” in media when the show ends, especially given the disappearance of classic call-in talk shows.

---

4. Listener Support and Donor Appreciation (22:32 - 32:17)

• Shout-outs to donors from various states, with tangents about each location and personal childhood travel stories.
• Discussion of east vs. west Washington, public transportation childhoods (Phyllis), and quirky anecdotal connections to towns like Olympia.

---

5. Remembering Marilyn Haggerty and Reconsidering Online Kindness (32:18 - 41:21)

• Remembering the iconic “Olive Garden Review”:
  Marilyn Haggerty, beloved for her earnest, viral review of Olive Garden in Grand Forks, ND, has passed at 99.
  • Anthony Bourdain’s defense of Haggerty’s sincerity praised:

    “He met with her and went on to publish a book of her columns, also writing its foreword.” (34:11 – Luke)

  • Both hosts share memories of their own first Olive Garden visits (after graduations, for family celebrations, and, in Luke’s case, an awkward “purity watch” dinner).
  • Reflection on how internet culture has shifted toward more kindness and away from punching down:
    • “I feel like in this day and age...our reflex is no longer to make fun of somebody who is just kind of living their life blissfully unaware.” (40:21 – Luke)

---

6. 3D Printing Tangent: Is It Really Printing? (41:32 - 45:10)

• Luke vents skepticism about the trendiness of “3D printing,” specifically for houses—arguing most “printed” things are just robotically extruded/plopped materials:
  • “I think that the term 3D printing is being overused. I don’t think we’re printing these things. I think we’re making them.” (44:26 – Luke)
• Phyllis adds a classic visual—likens the process to squeezing out Play-Doh.

---

7. Publishers Clearinghouse and “Forever Payments” Scandal (47:09 - 53:20)

• Conversation about the collapse of Publishers Clearinghouse:
  • The heartbreak of “$5,000 a week for life” prize suddenly disappearing.
  • Anecdotes from real “winners” who suddenly stopped receiving checks.
  • Phyllis references having a “windfall plan” in her notes app, noting how no one expects such eventualities.

---

8. Voicemail Roulette: Listener Messages (54:01 - 59:12)

• Hosts read a couple of randomly selected voicemails:
  • First: Pure joy about “The Badlands” recurring segment.
  • Second: Three-part update from a listener in Maine—on loving her TBTL sticker, feminist nostalgia (Ms. Magazine and NOW), and commiseration with Whole30/food struggles, connecting them to Luke’s past “turkey and pickle” lunches.
    • Leads into more Stern conversation—paralleling Luke’s past food regimens to Stern’s ascetic eating.

---

9. Back to Stern — Semaglutides, Life Satisfaction, and Show Dynamics (61:02 - 64:59)

• Discussion on Stern staff using weight loss drugs (semaglutides):
  • How Stern’s resentment stems from pride in years of self-denial.
  • Admiration for staffer Gary “Fafa” Dell’Abate’s well-balanced, content personal life despite show roasts.
    • “When you look at everyone right now, I think Fafa has the best life, and he’s the happiest and most satisfied with what he’s built for himself.” (62:55 – Phyllis)
• The segment ends with Luke narrating a real-life “Bambi reenactment” as four baby deer and two mothers frolic in his yard.

---

10. Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On deer tranquility:
  • “If I have to end the show early, I absolutely will. Disturbing these two baby deer...not disturbing them, is my prime directive today.” (02:09 – Luke)
• On nostalgia/phone stores:
  • “I had to buy the phone at the store...It took me a number of serious adult relationships to figure out that it’s so annoying to be a person that is married to me or dating me who is in Seattle.” (07:58 – Luke)
• On the Stern show malaise:
  • “I have a hard time listening to a complete show now. I can’t deal with him lying to himself, and hearing other people be complicit in that.” (16:03 – Phyllis)
• On tech levers & Andrew’s absence:
  • “If I seem a little less than fully engaged with you...it is, believe it or not, more mental energy than I thought it would be to handle all the, like, audio, I had you muted...” (04:07 – Luke)
• On kindness evolution online:
  • “A significant number of people have gotten the memo that it’s not...right. Like, I do, I feel like in this day and age...our reflex is no longer to make fun of somebody who is just kind of living their life sort of blissfully unaware.” (40:21 – Luke)

---

Notable Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment/Quote | |-------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:27 | Luke quietly describes “not disturbing” the deer as his KPI for the day. | | 04:06–08:43 | Seattle nostalgia chat—Sculptura phone, Pac-Man phone, and vintage Seattle sites. | | 09:05–20:09 | Howard Stern Show deep-dive: podcast culture, rumormongering, show’s future, staff dynamics. | | 22:32–32:17 | Donor acknowledgments, childhood travel tales, Olympia stories. | | 32:18–41:21 | Remembering Marilyn Haggerty, Olive Garden discourse, evolution of internet kindness. | | 41:32–45:10 | 3D printing skepticism; “Is extruding concrete really printing?” | | 47:09–53:20 | Publishers Clearinghouse “forever payment” collapse discussion. | | 54:01–59:12 | Voicemail roulette—listener wins and the “Badlands.” | | 61:02–64:59 | Howard Stern encore: weight loss talk, Fafa Dell’Abate’s best life, happy deer in the yard. | | 65:15–65:51 | Announcement: Jen “Flash” Andrews returns tomorrow. |

---

Ending & Preview

• Luke wraps up with a lively play-by-play of the growing herd of baby deer in his yard and thanks Phyllis for co-hosting/supporting TBTL.
• Preview for tomorrow: Jen “Flash” Andrews drops by to talk about the Emmys and more.

---

Tone and Style

• Language: Playfully conversational, self-aware, nostalgic, with meta-humor about TBTL itself and its relationship to The Howard Stern Show.
• Dynamic: Warm, rambling, and often self-deprecating; tangents are embraced as features, not bugs.
• Listener Involvement: Multiple shout-outs, references to listener messages/feedback, and abundant in-group references (“The Badlands,” etc.).

---

Power Out.

Transcript

[Phyllis Fletcher]

I think what they were doing was good. Well, to me, you rehearsed.

[Luke Burbank]

You rehearsed.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

You get it perfect. You know exactly what you're doing. And then what? And then you forget about it. Let me pinpoint you. You said they learn it, they forget it, and that's okay.

[Luke Burbank]

That's great.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Well, they've forgotten it, but they never learned it. So when did they learn it? I'm just saying, when do we have. But what I'm saying is, if they're gonna forget it anyway, then what difference does it make? I mean, you see what I mean? It's like one of those. It's a Zen thing. It's like, you know. You know how many babies, you know, fit in the tire thing that hold the old joke, you know?

[Luke Burbank]

Tbtl.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

The new phone book's here. The new phone book's here. I'm somebody now. Millions of people look at this book every day.

[Luke Burbank]

This is the kind of spontaneous publicity.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Your name in print, that makes people.

[Luke Burbank]

Where are you guys? Have I lost you in the land of never never? I've only ever said I love you.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

To two men my entire life.

Stone Cold Steve Austin and a guy.

[Luke Burbank]

In a dark club who I mistook.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

For Stone Cold Steve Austin.

[Luke Burbank]

I know these guys are annoying, but that's all I got.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

It's party time, chumps.

[Luke Burbank]

All right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Wednesday edition of tvtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. It does take time, and it is.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

A pain in the.

[Luke Burbank]

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. Meet the next generation of podcast stars coming to you from the Madrona Hill Studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia, where it is, as of right now, it's a little cloud. Foggy. We've got the fog. It is supposed to be sunny this afternoon. It almost got to 90 yesterday, which, again, as a warm weather appreciator, there still seems something that was a little. A little off about that. But we'll see what happens today. If I sound like I'm whispering, it's because I am trying not to disturb the two baby deer that are just sprawled out chilling in the yard right in front of where I am, here in the Madrona Hill studio. And honestly, like so, usually when I'm here doing the show, particularly on weirdly warm September days, I will have this little sliding door open next to me for a little ventilation. And I was here doing the sound check earlier this morning. And when I started sound checking and talking into this microphone, I noticed that one of the Deers kind of perked its ears up. And so I closed the sliding glass door. I've actually closed everything because if I have to end the show early, I absolutely will. Disturbing these two baby deer, or I should say, not disturbing them, is the. It's my prime directive today to use my new favorite term, which is an old term to you business people. It's my main KPI. On this Wednesday, as we find ourselves at episode 4556 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. These deer are so cute. Speaking of things that are incredibly cute and were incredibly cute, I feel cute today.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Look at my outfit.

[Luke Burbank]

We say goodbye to a culinary legend. Marilyn Haggerty, who wrote the Eat Beet newspaper column in North Dakota and who famously wrote the world's greatest review ever of an Olive Garden many years ago, has passed. We will talk about the life and times of Marilyn Haggerty, and we'll also talk about the life and times of one of my very, very dearest friends in the world and a dear friend of the program. She is sitting in for Andrew Walsh, who is still out for probably the rest of this week. He'll be back early next week, we're glad to say. In the meantime, though, please say hello, everyone, and give a warm welcome to my friend, the one, the only, Phyllis Fletcher. What's your name? Fletcher.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Full name? Fletch.

[Luke Burbank]

F. Fletch, who's joining me right now. Hi there, P. Hi. How you feeling to be here? I'm excited for you to be here on this Wednesday. I'm sorry if I. If I seem a little less than fully engaged with you. It is, believe it or not, more mental energy than I thought it would be to handle all the, like, audio I had you muted. Then I had to remember to go to this other screen to unmute you. I had to turn down catch my disease. I'm. I'm spinning a lot of plates here, so. But now I'm looking at you. I'm looking at your very cool dress, your cute specs. I love it. You know what? It feels to me like your outfit matches the room that you're in.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

It kind of does. And it wasn't, like, consciously intentional, but, like, I have, like, a lot of cool stuff in here, and oranges and yellows.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

It's fun. I have my TBTL lunchbox back there. I have my Sculptura phone, which is my genuine phone. That.

[Luke Burbank]

Is that the kind. That's. That yellow circle one, right?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my gosh. That is so dope.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah. My mom bought me a phone. I wasn't like, okay. So, you know, the super rich kids at school had their own line.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, really?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Their own phone line? Yeah, some kids were born like that.

[Luke Burbank]

See, when I was coming up, just like, call waiting was a flex, dude. Like, once, once someone had call waiting, you were like, wow, this. It's really coming together for this family.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

That was real. And so I got a sculpture of phone. And the reason I have this round yellow phone is what I actually wanted was the Pac man phone.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, 100%.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

And my mom was like, no.

[Luke Burbank]

So she said that on sort of like aesthetic grounds. She thought the Sculptura phone was a nicer looking phone.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

So she knew that the Pac man phone would be garbage and would fall apart and then I would have no phone and would want another phone. Yeah. And she was like, no.

[Luke Burbank]

She was thinking two steps ahead.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

How many phones do I have to buy for Phyllis? I'm not going to buy her. This Garfield phone that one day will be washing up in. Was that British Columbia. Do you remember that shipping container that then leaked a bunch of Garfield phones that are still. They're still showing up somewhere? I think.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

No, I. And so I guess my brain just still wanted something yellow and round. So we went to the phone store on Stoneway, the like at and T phone store, and bought the Sculptura in yellow.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, and also, what a timeless item like that is. Actually, you know, all respect for Pac man nostalgia aside, that Sculptura phone is so much cooler to have that.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

And then when I married, my community property came to include a Pac man trash can that my friends had back in the day. Well, see, I got it. I nailed it as an adult.

[Luke Burbank]

It all worked out in the end, man. You just mentioning Stoneway is for me, such a just kind of time trip. I have started following a couple of these old Seattle vintage Seattle Instagram feeds where literally all they do is post pictures of shit that I remember from when I was a kid. Just buildings. Just like the Godfather's pizza on Broad Broadway. And it's like, it's like, I don't. I'm not a big commenter on social media stuff, but for some reason, this particular kind of content makes me want to go like, I remember that. Like, I just want to be the first person in the comments going like, oh, yeah, I used to look at that place. I used to see that when I was a kid. And I feel like you and I are like, very connected on that era of Seattle nostalgia.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah, like we Drive through different neighborhoods and see what used to be there. You know, and we're one of those, like, see, there used to be a phone store there.

[Luke Burbank]

And back then on Stoneway.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah, landlines. I had to buy the phone at the store.

[Luke Burbank]

I. It took me, like, a good number of serious adult relationships to figure out that it's so annoying to be a person that is married to me or dating me who is in Seattle, particularly anywhere near Aurora Avenue. I thought that it was a charming trip down memory lane. I thought it was getting to connect with the young version of Luke Burbank. But what it really is is just hearing the same stories. It's like being a TBT listener, which has also been bad for my relationships.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

See, I joined TBTL after you did the Tour de Terrible, where you took listeners around North Seattle. Like, that would have been my jam. So now you and I just have to do that. We'll, like, torment Andrew with it.

[Luke Burbank]

We can call this the badlands. We can declare early badlands on the show today. Could just be you and I. It's just really, honestly, there's about two topics that I really want to get into with you. One of them is just stuff that used to exist in Seattle when we were kids, and the other is Howard Stern and how we feel about what's going on with. I hate podcasting. It's just ruined my life.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

I mean, accurate statement from Howard probably has.

[Luke Burbank]

So when the subject of the Howard Stern show comes up on this program and you are in abstentia Phyllis, I'm always like, well, I'm just broadcasting to Phyllis now because you and I. I mean, maybe one of our early big bonding moments might have been regarding the Howard Stern show many, many years ago, and our weird obsession with it continues to this day. Although, as you've heard me say on the show, I feel like it's determined deteriorating lately. To me, just like, just negging Howard Stern to you, which is then raising the question, why am I paying over $100 a year to listen to the show? I don't know. Like, I mean, first of all, write.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

It off on your taxes.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, believe you me, I'm not a tax attorney, but believe you me, yes, I take a liberal interpretation of the things. I mean, in fairness, I do use that to do my job in as much as this is my job. But, like, man. So as I mentioned recently, there was this whole, they take a long summer break, that show does, and they. When they were coming back, there was a certain amount of confusion, and you might. I don't know if controversy is the right word, but it was just basically like he was supposed to start on a Monday. He didn't. There had been these little stories here and there. Mostly I was seeing them posted by the Howard Stern show feed that were saying, like, is Howard Stern canceled?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

And.

[Luke Burbank]

And I saw them, and I was like, if it was, I doubt it would be Chris Wilding posting it. Like, I doubt it would be the official Howard100 Instagram feed would be saying, is Howard Stern canceled? Like, it always felt astroturfy to me. And then they didn't come back on the Monday they were supposed to. They came back, I guess, the following week, and I think it was because it turned out Howard Stern was under the weather. But this is, Phyllis, the most boring, most. I mean, like, microscopic part of this story that I want to talk about with you. Great here on. Okay, so they. So Howard Stern comes back, and his big thing is, like, everyone, like, the media was. Like, the media couldn't stop talking about how Robin Quivers had passed away over the summer and how I was canceled for being woke and also canceled for having low ratings and all this stuff. And so I tried to embrace that by putting out my, you know, telling us to post things about it, et cetera. The part of that story that I'm struggling with was. Don't you feel like if they were saying, if real, even semi legitimate. I'm talking the level of the New York Post, which is. I mean, semi legitimate, is being very generous. If even the New York Post had published something about Robin Quivers passing away, would it have not hit your radar and mine? We're obsessives about this stuff. We're news junkies.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, I find it very weird that they're taking that. They're talking about this whole thing that happened this summer that somehow did not land on your desk or mine. What is up with that?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah, it's. I mean, I think it's, you know, he's trying to create red herrings to distract from the fact that, like, these, you know, negotiations are probably not favorable to him. He's in a contract year. His contract is scheduled to. To expire in December. And that, you know, his biggest complaint, which he's tried to turn into something sardonic, but, like, his biggest public complaint is, like, the one you just played. Podcasting is ruined my life. SiriusXM has scooped up podcast stars. You know, they've made a radio star out of Andy Cohen, and he's always, like, trying to get his digs in. Yeah, but you can talk.

[Luke Burbank]

You want to do a make believe radio show in a room somewhere. I'm telling you, there's no money in that.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

It's so interesting because I know. So like, the person he's arguing with there is Benji Bronx ex girlfriend, Elisa Jordana. And I know it's ridiculous right now.

[Luke Burbank]

That my friend, is a flex that you remembered the context of him because you're exactly right like that. And I'd forgotten, but he was. Yeah, he was arguing with the ex girlfriend of a side character on his show about her attempts at podcast.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

And so that was probably 15 years ago. And then if you contrast that with. Podcasting has ruined my life. He probably said that three to five years ago. And I think it's true.

[Luke Burbank]

Except I think it's. This is something you've. I'm sorry, I don't mean to cut you off, Phyllis, but I. But I, I think also something that you and I have been talking about in the comments. And by that I mean us talking to each other. I guess I call that the comment section now.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Texting and sometimes rudely looping in and Yes, I know. Right. I should look at it later because.

[Luke Burbank]

He occasionally catches the show when he's listening to his free subscription. Is that the Howard Stern show is a podcast. I mean, to me it is. I don't get up, I don't listen to it at whatever time it comes on West Coast, 5am, 6am I listen to it on demand on my phone as I'm driving around or doing other stuff. It is absolutely a podcast to a lot of the people that experience it. And so for him, it seems this kind of semantic misunderstanding of what he does versus what other people are doing that he's so, so kind of down on.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah. And now it's become like a deliberate self obfuscation.

[Luke Burbank]

Right. Yes. He's like, he's. He's dug in on this thing that he does.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

He deliberately cut himself off from self knowledge there by doing that. And I mean, the distinction is he does do his live.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. And can take calls, which I do think is. I also said to you the other day in the comments, I was like, whenever Howard Stern leaves, there's gonna be a Howard Stern show shaped hole and somebody's gotta make it. Maybe it's us, because I've been on this thing lately thinking about like call in talk radio and how it's pretty out of fashion now. Like, I don't think that there are many talk shows. Maybe in the world of sports talk, there are still some Shows that take calls.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Oh, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But like, as far as, like, what the Howard Stern show still does, which is, you know, it's a cast of characters. There are regular phone. There are regular callers who, you know, are, some of them are technically in the whack pack, some aren't. But, like, it's just, it is this kind of entertain style of radio entertainment that I of course, just find that's it's my favorite kind of radio, pretty much. And I feel like when the Stern show goes away, there aren't gonna be that many places where this kind of thing is happening. So I'm very conflicted because he's. Howard Stern is often sort of on my last nerve. But also, I will be really bummed when the show doesn't exist.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah, I will too. And like, here's my, like, my sad secret about, about my listening. Since he's come back. I've only listened to the wrap up show.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, you. I'm actually thinking about following your lead on that. But you've been, you've been a wrap up head since the day. And why is it so that's, yeah, they have an entire show every day about the show that happened. If it's a new episode, what is it about listening to only the wrap up show that's better for you?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

It's like, it's the highlight reel of the show and it's sad. You know, for me, personally, I'm sure a lot of my friends are like, thank God. Jesus. Why is she still listening? But, like, I, I, I have a hard time listening to a complete show now. And I think emotionally, I have a hard time, like, I don't want to listen to him lie to me. I can't deal with that. And I really can't deal with him lying to himself.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, wow.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

And hearing other people be complicit in that. Wow, that's hard.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that's, that's deep, man.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

It is. And it's like I've always known there's a certain artifice to the show. Right. You know, and like, he only talks about the things he wants to talk about. He, he has a, an appearance of being like, you know, honest to a fault or whatever. But the longer you listen to the show, you realize, okay, within this band, you'll be very honest about certain things.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

But, like, there's a whole universe of stuff that he's not talking about or, you know, needs to not talk about for whatever reason.

[Luke Burbank]

See, the reason that I'm still listening to the full episodes is because What'll happen is. And I have a feeling that, I mean, again, what I'm. I want to be. I want to be clear with the listeners. I know that what I'm saying about the Howard Stern show is also probably how a lot of you feel about tptl. I think the reason that, yeah, certainly I don't make the kind of money Howard Stern makes, and I don't have the sort of public awareness of me that he has. But I do know that this is a thing where I'm the host of this show. I do a lot of stuff. Some people, they like some of it. They don't like other parts of it. Some of it's interesting to folks. Some of it's very boring. The thing about tbtl, though, is that I think, anyway, if it scans, if it tracks with my experience with the Howard Stern show, it's that I never actually know the part of an episode of the Howard Stern show that will actually jump out at me as the listener. So, like, the other day, he comes into his studio and he says that, like, a spider dropped on him. Okay. And I'm like. Immediately, I almost go into a narcoleptic fit because I'm so uninterested in him pretending he's more afraid of spiders than he is. He thinks he's. I think he feels like it's a bit. He's got his wife Beth coming down to kill the spider. He's going on and on about the spiders, and it's like, I'm so uninterested in that. That's just how. Whatever. That's my listening preference. But then at some point, he starts talking about how it's insane that he has spiders in his house and Richard Christie has no spiders in his house. And now. And now that.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Now I'm in.

[Luke Burbank]

Now I'm in. Like, it'll. Because I'm obsessed with Richard Christie, one of his producers, who's on Ozempic and probably has a drinking problem and has this. It has these parents who I didn't even. I don't know if you caught the episode where the parents in the new Superman are based on Richard Christie's actual parents from Kansas.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Richard, this is your day.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, bub. Like, I mean, sister knew someone who.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Went to a dentist and had to miss a bunch of work when they took his wisdom teeth out. So, I don't know. Might be good if you could put it off. Anyway, talk to you later, bubba.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean. And so the thing is, I end up having to kind of, like, it's very hard for me to skip a segment because you never know when it will go from being deeply boring to me anyway into something that I'm like, heavily invested in as a listener.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

That's a good ass point. And now I'm gonna go back and listen to that. Cause I love Richard and I love that, like, they could talk about him wearing a diaper to the Coheed and Cambria concert so he could pee his pants and not miss a song. And like 50 times. And I'm in all 50.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, I know. And so I guess. I guess I don't know if there's a moral to this story, but what it is, Phyllis, is if that show goes away, somehow you and I have to figure out how to.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

What else are we gonna talk about?

[Luke Burbank]

I wonder how Andrew's gonna feel when he comes back to the show on Monday and he learns that Richard Christie and Sal Goubenal are full time employees of tbtb. I wonder how John Sklaroff is actually gonna feel about that.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Well, his professional life is a nine and his personal life is a two.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, they got a sour shoes call the other day.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Oh, okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Which, like, was. I'm surprised that the wrap up show doesn't cover that because I feel like sour shoes appearance is now like, that's like, that's worth noting.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

See, now you've hooked me back in. I'm gonna go back and listen to all of these.

[Luke Burbank]

What I'm trying to say to you, the TBTL listeners, is I know that I annoy a lot of you, but that is unfortunately the role of being the primary host of one of these shows. I always this analogy, but I feel like my least favorite character on the Simpsons is Bart Simpson. Because Bart Simpson is. Is. Is ostensibly, at least in the early days, was the star of the Simpsons. And that means they give him the worst lines. That means he's. He is just. He is a vessel through which, like, the Homer Simpson experience can happen, which we love. And the, you know, Barney and all, whoever your favorite character from the Simpsons is, I want to say. Heavy wears the crown. Heavy weighs the crown of being the primary host of one of these shows. If you think I'm being bad at it, I just want you to know I'm in on the joke. Okay? I am. All of this is very intentional and very, very calculating so that we can create entertaining content for you. The. The tens of listeners.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Speaking of the tens of listeners. I know, right? I do have to, like, ask John because, you know, usually Andrew is the one monitoring Andrew. In fact Andrew, maybe even this week when he's dealing with a lot of stuff. He may be getting emails from YouTube saying that we're being taken down in different countries because of. It's funny because like, you know what I'm learning this week? Trying to do a lot of the stuff. Well that's not true. John is doing a lot of the stuff that Andrew normally does on the technical side. But there are all kinds of, there are all kinds of logins and things that just go to Andrew's phone and systems. And so this Morning at like 6am I'm trying to log into the TBTL voicemail line and I'm just like, I'm just getting these messages from probably a very bleary Andrew who again has got a lot going on this week. He's going like, I just got a message from like Google Voice. They want me to, they want me to put a number in. Is am I Putting in 41 or 19?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And I like put in 19 because that, yeah. So anyway there's, yeah, there's a lot of stuff, there's a lot of stuff that's related including having the correct sound, the correct music for the donors, which I still don't have, although I'm kind of trying to make a bit out of it. Let's thank some of our donors starting with Alicia Nicholas in Benson, Arizona. Alicia Nicholas pronounced Fluffy.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Great. Hi Fluffy.

[Luke Burbank]

That's on Alicia.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Thank you Fluffy.

[Luke Burbank]

Appreciate you, Fluffy. Also appreciate Shauna Madden of Kettle Falls, Washington. Have you ever heard of a Kettle Falls, Washington?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Gosh, I don't know Kettle Falls.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean you've, and you know from places in the state of Washington having been a Washington state based journalist for many years.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yes, yes. And, and, but it's like I have these holes in my knowledge because my mom doesn't drive. So there were a lot of places I didn't go as a kid.

[Luke Burbank]

Throughout your childhood?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, interesting. So you must have been a big public transportation family.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Huge and huge city kid. And so there were really limited places outside of Seattle that I went and so you know, like, not that you can't learn things later but I attribute the gaps I have to that of all the places I didn't go for most of the, you know, I guess not, not most of my life anymore. But like, you know about the first half.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Like what, what's going to get you out to other than a reporting assignment, you know, or maybe going to visit Shauna Madden. It's like what's going to get you to Kettle Falls, Washington. I have the sort of opposite experience which is most of the smallish places in like Washington and Oregon I only know about because there were some, some kooky member of my parents church who hailed from there or had moved there and then we would go like visit them or we would do these. You know, we were not a family that generally flew anywhere for a vacation. So we would drive and we would. But we wouldn't be going to like Disneyland or anywhere cool. We'd be going to Baker City, Oregon.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah, right.

[Luke Burbank]

Or you know, some kind of other little out of the way spot where there was some person that we were either visiting or usually getting something for free from something that was. Even when I was a kid I could identify not worth the gas money.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Right, right.

[Luke Burbank]

You know.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah. I mean I. So my parents grew up in eastern Washington.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

I, I've been to, you know, Pasco, Walla Walla, Prescott and the surrounding towns there.

[Luke Burbank]

Waitsburg, Starbucks.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Starbucks, yeah, yeah, Dayton. But a lot of those type of places I learned about from Anna King also attend.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. Hey, shout out to. Did she have her film screening?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

It's on Saturday.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, let's. I don't, I don't know if it's, if it's sold out or not. I don't know if you know the deets, but just people go Google this. There is, it's. This is, is this, is this. This is not ghost herd related, Right. She's got two parallel like agriculture, like livestock series that she's been part of. Right?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

I think this. So let me just. I'll start with the one that I know the most about, which was a story that I was really obsessed with because it involved two things I can relate to. Gambling problems and lying to the food, whoever it is, the USDA or something that was a story about this farmer who had this enormous like cattle herd operation. And what this guy was doing was he was gambling away all this money. And so to try to like get more money, he was lying to all of these huge like agribusinesses, these companies that basically sell the American consumers meat. But he was growing the cows. And the way it works is the company, whether it's Tyson Foods or something, would pay him a bunch of money up front. This is for feed and all the, all what you have to do to keep these cows alive until you end their life and eat them. And he never actually had any of the cows. Like he wasn't growing any of the meat he was just taking the money and then going to not even good casinos. I think he was going to like some janky casinos and in rural Washington. So that was. That was the ghost herd one. Right. And then this other one is. What? Did I buy enough time?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Not one. Yeah, yeah. This one is not one drop of blood. And it's at the local Sightings Film festival this Saturday in Seattle. So if you Google all of that, you'll find it excellent. And Anna's film will have a Q and A afterwards. Moderated by moi.

[Luke Burbank]

What?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Thank you for bringing that up. I'm glad I name dropped her.

[Luke Burbank]

Heck yeah.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Since we're just name dropping and since we're just promoting things, can I just promote. Tomorrow night we have Livewire at the Alberta Rose Theater. Mary Roach will be there, who is the great pop science writer. Also a one time Wildland firefighter River Selby will be there with a book that they wrote. And then next week, next Friday, we are going to be in Livewire. Will be in Minneapolis in the Twin Cities, bringing you Livewire live there with Maria Bamford and a musical act that is so cool. At least to me. Legally, we cannot promote them. We are legally prohibited from promoting them. But you can get your tickets to that if you're in the Twin Cities or anywhere in the Midwest. There's only a few tickets left. You can get [e-mail] okay. If there's any.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

And I can say, by the way, since I'm on the board of Livewire, I happen to know it's worth it. The secret guest. Thank you In Minnesota. So please go.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

It's gonna be awesome.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you. Thank you for that. You know who loves some shameless plugs is our friend Taya Gant in Olympia, Washington.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

I know where that is.

[Luke Burbank]

A place that I know very, very well. You'll appreciate this, Fletch, because again, this today is just you and me talking about semi obscure people that we know.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

For some reason the subject of Olympia came up recently and I was reminded, I was remembering when I was probably like, I mean maybe like 21 or 22. And I somehow got invited. I don't think I even really worked at kuow. Maybe I was like a work study student. I don't think I had my real job there, like producing on the Conversation or whatever, but I got invited to go to just like a little kind of a dinner at Tom Bonsey's house in Olympia.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

I heard that's nice.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel like it was me and Radke and probably Robert Smith. I think I was, like, Robert Smith's mascot or something. And somehow we went down to Olympia, Washington. Tom Boncy was the Olympia correspondent for the local radio, Public Radio Network. And I remember he had this. He lived in the. You know, in a little Craftsman home in, like, kind of a cool older neighborhood of Olympia that had sidewalks. There was two things that I was really into when it came to the home environment. One was if it was a Craftsman and had hardwood floors. And the other was if it was in a. Like, a walkable neighborhood with sidewalks. And I remember. And they were. They were making food. It's so funny, because I thought all these people were so old. I bet you the oldest person there was 28, probably. But I was like, I am hanging out with these people are borderline elderly, right? But, I mean, I was into it. I was there for it. I was just. I was excited to be included in, like, an a. In a group of people that I looked up to very much. And also that I thought to be, like, old and mature and, like, they have life figured out. And they're like, these people. These are grownups, and they're like, all 28 or something. But I remember they were like. There was food. We were having food that was like. I don't know if it just was not. You know, it wasn't all grilled cheese sandwiches. It was, like, food that seemed exotic to me. It was probably like a caprese salad or.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Hey.

[Luke Burbank]

Or like some kind of a tabbouleh or. I don't know. It was. It was just stuff that I didn't recognize immediately because I, like, had almost. I had had very limited experience with, you know, food outside of the very, very basic American mainstream of food. But I just remember. And then we took a walk afterwards, which I didn't even know you could do that with friends, like, take a group walk around Olympia anyway. And I just thought if. If I could ever do this, if I could ever have this be my reality. If I could live in this house in Olympia and be the Olympia correspondent, it would be. My whole life would have meaning. And honestly, I'm still working towards that. I'm only about an hour south of Olympia. I'm working my way north. I'm going to be moving up to Tanaino later, and then I'm going to head for what's still south of there. I'm trying to think of my cities. Let's see. Lake Taps, maybe. No, that's north. Anyway. You know who's in Buckner Missouri, of course, it's Catherine Waltz, Buckner, Missouri. What up, Catherine? And then we've got Orlando Berea in Greenville, South Carolina. That's like, this is, this is a pretty good distribution today. We got Arizona, we got Washington, we got Missouri, we got South Carolina. And then we've got Jane Durden checking in from Alexandria, Virginia. Thank you, Jane. Thank you to all of our donors for supporting this thing, this business model, this tbtl, because without you all, we could not do this. So thank you very, very much. Hello and welcome to Top Story. I often say on the show, Phyllis, that we sort of know, I know the things that TBTL has done that have been memorable to the listeners or the, the space the TBTL occupies in the listeners minds when we get a lot of emails about a particular thing. And I did not expect yesterday to receive over five emails about the passing of Marilyn Haggerty. I guess that we really, I guess that our listeners really associate us with the late, great Marilyn Haggerty who's passed away at 99 years old.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Man.

[Luke Burbank]

She was the food writer for a newspaper in North Dakota who, I mean, this is the wild part. She did this in 2012. She wrote this review of the Olive Garden in 2012 that we talked about and the piece went viral. She was 99 when she passed away. The piece went viral back in 2012 because she basically wrote about the Olive Garden and she wrote a glowing review of her local Olive Garden there. I believe in, maybe in Twin Forks, North Dakota. I'm trying to see exactly what the city was. Sorry, it was, it was Grand Forks. She was writing about the Olive Garden. She wrote in the review that, let's say, she says, as I ate, I noticed the vases and planters with permanent flower displays on the ledges. There are several dining areas with arched doorways and there's a fireplace that adds warmth to the decor. She also talked about how much she liked the food and how she. Yeah, she found the food to be really comforting. Anyway, she wrote this like very charming, very, I guess you could say non arch, non irony soaked review of the Olive Garden, which the first wave of it was, I think people kind of roasting her, you know, kind of like, you know, get a load of this yokel who kind of doesn't understand that we all look down our noses at the Olive Garden. And then the next wave, thankfully was coming from people like Anthony Bourdain, by the way, who totally stuck up for her and basically pointed out that like, you know, this is, let's see, here's Let me see if I can find the Bourdain part of this piece. The media attention even drew in famed chef and TV host Anthony Bourdain, who defended Haggerty on Twitter from those who ridiculed her embrace of the Olive Garden chain food. He met with her and went on to publish a book of her columns, also writing its foreword.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Damn. Okay. I didn't know that.

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't either.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

That's amazing.

[Luke Burbank]

That's incredible.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

I love that. Yeah. I've always loved this story, partly because my first time in an Olive Garden was my brother's graduation.

[Luke Burbank]

Whoa.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

It was great. His graduation from college, was it, like.

[Luke Burbank]

It wasn't the one in Alderwood, was it?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Or no? So, as you may recall, My dad had 14 children with.

[Luke Burbank]

I sure do. Is your piece about that out in the world somewhere? Can people listen to that?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah. It's called Sweet Phil from Sugar Hill. It's very much me at 30, trying to sound like this American life, but that's okay.

[Luke Burbank]

No shade, dude, I know that. I know the feeling. Where do people. Where can people go? Listen to this.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

It'[e-mail] yeah. And so this was my brother who grew up in Newark. I coincidentally went to college at Columbia, and he went to college in New Jersey, and he and I are only nine months apart, so we graduated at the same time.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, amazing.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

And so we went to each other's graduations, which was really cool.

[Luke Burbank]

So.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

And I got to go to his. And then it was, like, afterwards, we were going to this place called the Olive Garden that I didn't know about.

[Luke Burbank]

And I bet you loved it, right?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Dude, it was good.

[Luke Burbank]

I am telling you, like, unlimited breadsticks and, like, soup and salad is. That is the most genius business model. I mean, I have been to Olive Garden quite unironically in the last two years because it sounded good.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

You know.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

You know what you're gonna get, and you. You can afford it.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

You know, and I'm like, yeah, this is great. Like, as a college kid, to be able to, like, you know, go someplace and know I wasn't breaking the bank. Like, that was really nice.

[Luke Burbank]

So I. I can't remember if it was. It's so funny, though, Phyllis, how our. In certain ways, our lives have had so many similarities in that, like, I feel like, you know, I don't know exactly what all of the. All of the socioeconomics were of your childhood, but I have a feeling that, like, going to.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

I can't tell you that.

[Luke Burbank]

Like. Like. Like, Red Lobster in the Olive Garden. That would have been. That would have been off the charts. That would have been like, maybe before prom, if saved. If. If your date saved up for, like, six months for it or Red Lobster Red or not at all. Right. Like, it was. Because here's what I remember, and I can't remember if it was Red Lobster or Olive Garden, because there was a period of time where they were always. They were like a. They were like a. Like a two for one deal. Anywhere you would be in America, you'd see a Red Lobster next to an Olive Garden. I don't know if they were owned by the same parent company or if there was just some real estate thing where. When they were building these, like. These, like, suburban and exurban, like, little shopping centers, they would. But it would be very common to have a Red Lobster next to an Olive Garden, as was the case in Alderwood.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Ah. See? And I didn't know that.

[Luke Burbank]

What I remember is I was in one of these places with my dad, and it was the first time I had ever been to a restaurant this fancy in my life. And it was when I was probably 16 or 17, and it was because he was giving me a watch that was a symbol of my agreement to not lose my virginity.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Oh.

[Luke Burbank]

It was like a. It was like a purity watch. It was like a promise watch.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

I. I know about these.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Oh, my goodness.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Girls a lot of times get rings.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Boys get watches.

[Luke Burbank]

I got this watch from my dad, and I. I remember. So I. You know, but again, I mostly. I remember being like. This is kind of awkward. I don't really. Like. I don't. This is a very intense conversation. I feel a little. I feel a little weird about the whole thing, but I'm pretty psyched. I'm at the Olive Garden right now. Like, I was like. I was like. And I'm getting a kind of a cool watch. I mean, it was, you know, probably like a. Some kind of Armitron from, like, Bartel drugs or something back in the day. But of course, then I did. I did eventually lose the watch and my virginity within the same week, which I. We. We cannot rule out that the watch was some sort of talisman that was keeping me from getting laid. Because what I know was not intentionally. I didn't, like. I didn't, like, realize I was gonna lose my virginity and then, like, remove the watch and, like, you, like, I'm talking to the watch. You don't want to see this.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

No. I literally just by coincidence, lost the Watch. And my virginity, like within a seven day period of time. Well, anyway, shout out, Marilyn Haggerty. And shout out. You know, I kind of do feel like also something about the. There's so many things about our current state of life that are so depressing and there's so much stuff that people don't agree on. But you know, what I would say is kind of nice, I think, about the movement towards more inclusion and the movement towards trying, I mean, at least amongst a certain part of the population of America is. I don't think that Marilyn Haggerty would. There wouldn't be the first wave of dragging her now. I hope not online, you know what I mean? Like, I think that we have become a kinder. I mean, of course, listen, there are lots of parts of the online space that are super toxic and horrible and dangerous to people, et cetera. But I do feel like a significant number of people have gotten the memo that it's not. And by the way, I was one of those people that didn't have the memo back in the day. In other words, I, you know, there's so much stuff in the early days of TBTL that I sort of wince when I think about because I, you know, I, like a lot of people, did a lot of making fun of people who were maybe not in on the joke. And I could have. Absolutely. And in fact, I don't even want to go back and listen to whatever episode we talked about Marilyn Haggerty because who knows, maybe I was kind of roasting her too. Maybe I was kind of making fun of the fact that she thought that the Olive Garden decor was cute. But like, I do, I feel like in this day and age, a lot of us, at least the people that listen to this show and stuff, our reflex is no longer to make fun of somebody who is just kind of living their life sort of blissfully unaware. Wouldn't you, wouldn't you agree that it's. That that way of roasting people seems to have kind of diminished somewhat?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

I mean, definitely in the, in the, I think large bubble that I've surrounded myself.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe that's all it is. Maybe I just have gone away from the people who are mean and towards the people who are nice.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Right? Yeah, I think, because, I mean, I still find, I think, you know, stuff that I find cringe because it is punching down. But like, it's so easy to filter that out now. For better or for worse. Yeah, that, like, yeah, I feel like the, the environment in which that would be presented to me now would Be like, wow, isn't this cool? Like, she actually legit reviewed Olive Garden and pointed out what's good and bad. And like, I agree with her about what the, the best dishes and all that. Like, I feel like that's how it would come to me now.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I feel like if I think about my 31 year old daughter, if she forwarded me the story about this woman writing, and maybe again, maybe it's just that I have a daughter who's nice, but I feel like I can see her sending me a note with a link to the article and just going, go off queen.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel like a lot of people of her generation would just be like, go off queen. Which would be the right response as opposed to making fun of her in some way. Phyllis, at the beginning of the show, I said there was two things I wanted to discuss, but there's actually a third thing, and I know it's top of mind for you, which is the topic of 3D printing. I can't get you to shut up about 3D printing when we're done talking about stirring.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

I barely know what this is.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, I have been one. Well, I'll, I'll explain to the degree that I even have an awareness of it, which is, I feel like, okay, I. Because I am very interested in architecture and design of the home environment, I tend to, like, I read a lot of articles about architecture and about home building, I guess, and I get a lot of updates from like Dwell magazine and Architectural Digest and things like this. And I get a lot of articles about what is called 3D printing of homes. And I saw one in the New York Times the other day. Can you print a house?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Jesus.

[Luke Burbank]

And it's a story about this project, this guy in Texas who has built the largest community of what are called 3D printed homes. And a 3D print. Excuse me, a 3D printed home is basically a home that is created by pouring the concrete in. Instead of like the way you build a typical home, which would be you, you pour a foundation and then you frame, you know, you frame the house up on that foundation and then you build the whole thing out of wood or whatever. And then you clad the house, you put the roof on, you've got a house, the 3D printed home, as it's called, which again is kind of considered to be like the holy grail of like building more homes. And building more homes quickly and affordably is where the whole thing is made out of a certain. I don't know if you'd even technically Call it concrete. It's basically like a concrete esque kind of a thing. It is liquid. It goes through a long pipe. It gets, I don't know the difference between excretion and extrusion. I think it's extruded. Maybe it's kind of. It's extruded into these little narrow like bands that it just goes around and around and around the outline of what will become the home. Putting down more and more and more and more of this concrete, which eventually dries. And then that's the house. And then sometimes like, then they put a roof on it.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Jesus. So it like squishes out like a Play DOH thing with a crank, like. And then.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. That's. You know what, that's the example I was looking for that the listeners will be able to picture much easier. Phyllis, good job. This is why we have you here. It's basically like Play doh. It's like squeezing out a thing of Play DOH over and over and over and over again. This is the thing that has always. And this applies to a lot of different things now that are made with quote unquote, 3D printing.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

My question is, are we printing these things? Are we printing houses or are we just extruding concrete in a smaller amount at a time? Or extruding melted plastic when they're like i3D printed? I3D printed this cup, Phyllis.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Uh huh. Yeah, right.

[Luke Burbank]

Did you, or did you melt. Did you melt plastic and then the robot arm. And obviously I have a deep understanding of this. That's why I call it things like robot arm. Did this device melt some kind of a plastic and then make the wet part of the plastic in a certain shape and then wait for that wet plastic to dry and harden? Because that's what my understanding of all these things that are called printing. I just think that we have. We're abusing the term printing at this point. You're just making a house. You're just making it a slightly different way. But like, I. Again, I've said my piece. I think that the term 3D printing is being overused. I don't think we're printing these things. I think we're making them.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Right. Yeah, I can understand that. And I mean, I guess they had to call it something. Right? So it's kind of marketable because.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, that's exactly. No, I think you're so right.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah. I don't understand what extrusion is. And I mean, I barely do.

[Luke Burbank]

And I just feel like when I.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Hear your think of Poo. Because it's so close to the other word.

[Luke Burbank]

It is not. Yeah, I pooped out a wallet. I 3D printed. I tell you, Phyllis, I had to hit that Starbucks bathroom because after my jog around greenlake, I almost 3D printed a really bad situation. Maybe that's what we do.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Here I go. One thing. Andrew's with the email.

[Luke Burbank]

I know. I'm trying to get all of this kind of stuff out of my system. I'm trying to 3D print all of this out of my system while he's far away. Hey, I wondered if, Phyllis, if you wanted to try a little, like, experiment here. So I told you this morning that I was trying to log into the TBTL voicemail line at, like, early in the morning, and that Andrew was having his phone blowing up with the codes and the dual factor authentication. So I have here. So when Andrew does the voicemails, he puts together, he very carefully curates them, right? He extracts them from the voicemail line, then he excretes them, extrudes them into another file. He labels them. He sometimes edits them for clarity and time. And then he also throws a lot of them out because he doesn't think that they're up to snuff. Here's what I did today. I just went in and I downloaded into my email the last, like, nine voicemails that came in. And I didn't listen to them. I didn't title them, I haven't previewed them. They could be from bill collectors.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Sure.

[Luke Burbank]

They could be paternity suits. We don't know anything about these voicemails.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

They could be spam from publishers clearing out.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, dude. Did you hear about. Did you read that article about the Forever Payments?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

I heard about it on Jody and Bender this morning.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I forgot. You're a Jody and Bender.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Head. Yeah, I actually, you know what? You'd be like, the perfect person to talk about that with. I mean, that. What a bummer, right?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah. Yeah. So what I recall from Jody and Bender was that the Publishers Clearinghouse Corporation went into bankruptcy.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. What a shock, right?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

You mean having the Ghost of Ed McMahon hand out oversized checks to people with. Based on a magazine subscription business model. I can't see how that would not be future proofed.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

So homeboy in Bellingham back in the day and won the 5,000 a week for life. And they would give it to him as a $260,000 check once a year. And the way he found out that it wasn't happening anymore was he just didn't get his check one year.

[Luke Burbank]

I saw they talked to another family too, in this. I read an article about this a couple of weeks ago. Yeah. Basically, these were people who. What they're winning was $5,000 a week for the rest of their life, dude. And that's a lot of dough at the end of the year. And that is really me out of.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

A couple of jams.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, seriously. I mean, you would. We could call off the next two thons for that kind of money. But like, easily. But like, but like, I mean, that is such an insane thing to have happen to you. And then you start planning around it and like, this guy, like, this guy, he bought a house near. Up in Bellingham, near where his kids were, and he, you know, he was basically living on this. And then Publishers Clearinghouse goes out of business, and the same thing for this other family. Luckily, this other family said that they had been. They'd been pretty careful with the. With, you know, the money they were getting. They both, I guess, had had sort of decent jobs beforehand. And so they. They had sort of kept their normal life going, but with this amazing benefit of this extra money. But. But yeah, this guy up. Up near Bellingham, like, he's gonna lose his house now. Like, he's gonna be worse off than he was before. He, quote, unquote, won this because he had bought this. And by the way, I saw, I. This was like a. Either a print article, video. I got eyes on his house. It wasn't like a mansion, right. It wasn't like he. He didn't go crazy. He didn't like, buy some McMansion, you know, and then like, you know, on a. On a man made lake with like nine jet skis. He didn't go Kenny Powers on it. Like, it was just a normal, ish house by where his kids lived. And now he can't pay for the house.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Damn.

[Luke Burbank]

He's like, he's literally gonna be worse off than he was before. And it made me wonder if you were gonna win something like this. P. But then it was gonna be taken away from you. So you. You can't go into it with the knowledge that it's gonna be taken away from you. Right. Like, would you, like, are these folks. Is the pain of having this go away so painful that it makes it not worth it to have had the joy of getting it right?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah. I mean, yeah, they got hosed. I. You know, it will not surprise you to know I have a windfall plan in my notes app just in case anything ever happens.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

And I have to say it is not designed to address this eventuality. So I'm glad I know about this now.

[Luke Burbank]

Right.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

It's like, even if something is, like, promised to you for the rest of your life, you know that that's just.

[Luke Burbank]

Some words they said on an oversized check.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel like that check does not indicate reliability.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Right. You can't, you. Well, you can't see someone crossing their fingers behind their back.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. You can have a team of people crossing their fingers. That check is absolutely enormous. Also, I mean, I, I just said, I think it was magazine related. What was the business model of Publishers Clearinghouse?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah, that's a good question. I just remember these big tan envelopes showing up with Ed McMahon's face.

[Luke Burbank]

And then stamps.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Were there stamps? Yes, stamps that represented things that you were going to buy or subscribe to or something like that. But I think that, yeah, they were all magazines or books in magazines.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, it was some kind of a thing where there was. And as a kid, I was intrigued, so I was like, okay, free stamps, I'm pretty in. But it was like you rip these stamps out, you lick them, you affix them to something and then you return it, and then you're buying those things Appeared to be the whole business model, right?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah. Yeah. And then maybe they drive up in a van with a big ass check that they might say, psych. About decades.

[Luke Burbank]

I know. Thank you. And thank you for using the proper term. It would be psych. My friend, my friend Kurt worked on some of these Publishers Clearinghouse ads with Ed McMahon.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

No way.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Back in the day. He's my friend Kurt, who's a really talented director and writer of commercials in the Seattle area. I've worked on a lot of stuff with him. And just like the stories of, of working with Ed McMahon. And we're talking late stage Ed McMahon and just like. Yeah, exactly, like shooting Publishers Clearinghouse ads in, like, Edmonds, Washington.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Right?

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yes. He said that McMahon was, like, pretty charming. I mean, he was, he was charming in this way of like, you know, sort of old Hollywood fame.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Like, knew how to give the people what they want.

[Luke Burbank]

Precisely, precisely. But was also. But was also, you know, had been very famous for a very. And very well compensated for a very long time in his life. So he wasn't sort of like, he wasn't super concerned with, with, with everyone's experience as he moved through the world. I think my friend Kurt, who might have been directing these ads, said something like, okay, that was a really good take, Mr. McMahon. And I think I forget the exact words he used, but basically, Ed McMahon, who was, I think, tired of retaking whatever this thing was, came up and said, is that it's martini time, Mr. McMahon. Good take meaning, like, I'm done. I'll be at the bar having a martini.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

And he knew to deliver it that way so he would have that story to tell for the rest of his life.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, that's.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

That's what he was good at.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, before we get out of here, because I know you've got a heart out, let's just at random. Okay. What I can tell you about these voicemails, P. Is that all I know about them is the time.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yep. The length. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

I know the length. So with the TRT, so the shortest one is 11 seconds, which. No, the shortest one is 10 seconds, which is kind of terrifying. I don't know what that is. And then the longest one is a minute and 29 seconds, which is also kind of terrifying. Do we want to go? Should we start with the shortest one? Let's do it and just see what this. Again. We'll see if these even play. Here comes the ten second one.

[Listener (Rachel)]

Okay. I love the Badlands. I'm just saying. I love the Badlands.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

All right.

[Listener (Rachel)]

Okay. You guys are awesome.

[Luke Burbank]

All right.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Actually, that's my favorite part, too.

[Luke Burbank]

That went better than I expected.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

I love that. Oh, thank you. I love that so much.

[Luke Burbank]

I also, I have to say, like, I'm this. I feel like about every maybe six months to one year, something happens on the show that kind of surprises me and that I'm, like, pretty psyched about, like, the Alvin and the Chipmunks thing. Yeah, that was like, when we were playing, you know, hey, Mr. Tambourine man, as covered by Alvin and the Chipmunks. That was a moment of pure joy on the show for us that, like. And that the listeners kind of start talking about, and it becomes kind of like a thing on the show. And what's weird is we can't create. We can't intentionally create those moments. This kind of goes back to the Howard Stern thing. Right? Like, we're just doing this so many hours all week that, like, every once in a while, we stumble on something that's kind of a bit of a moment of joy. And I'm not putting the Badlands up there with, like, the Alvin and the Chipmunks moment, but it was something that kind of weirdly, in my mind, like, framed something about the show for me, which was like, okay, we're gonna do. We're gonna really try to, like, honestly do the best show that we can for like an hour. And try to, if we can, at least a little bit, think about what the interests of the listeners are, because they are paying for this, including you. Thank you, Phyllis.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Absolutely.

[Luke Burbank]

But then the idea that we can have, instead of just feeling sad, not sad, instead of feeling embarrassed slash kind of chagrined that we're talking about the Mariners or that we've devolved into some esoterica, we just name it and claim it. We identify it as the Badlands. That felt like a real breakthrough to me. That felt like that's really gonna help us. That's gonna help me be a better broadcaster for the foreseeable future. So thank you. I'm glad to that listener that they like it. Okay, we're gonna go from the shortest to the longest. 1 minute, 38 seconds is the longest. Let's see what this. I don't know why I'm so nervous.

[Listener (Rachel)]

Hey, Luke and Andrew, it's Rachel in Maine. I have three things I wanted to tell you. The first is that I love the TBTL sticker. My kids thought.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, TBTL sticker.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yep.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, nice. The billboard sticker.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Cool. Right on. Rachel, I'm glad that that made it to you. Shout out to John Sklaroff for doing a fulfillment on these things.

[Listener (Rachel)]

Yeah, mom, you should call that number. You're cranky and tired all the time.

[Luke Burbank]

That's so great. That's awesome.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

She got served. Oh, my God.

[Luke Burbank]

And I. I love that. Rachel, you would be the first person to call the number on the billboard because of the billboard that has. For all the money that cost us, that has not generated any calls. So please feel free.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Nuts.

[Listener (Rachel)]

Okay, number two, I wanted to say about. Ms. Now, this is such a bad message because I'm walking on the side of the road.

[Luke Burbank]

Ms. Now, does that ring any bells?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Not yet.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. All right. Okay, okay.

[Listener (Rachel)]

I am 40 and I was an avid young feminist in the 90s and.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, wait, is it using the term Ms. I wonder if that. Well, I'll just let them. I'll let. I'll let Rachel speak for herself.

[Listener (Rachel)]

Remember, two of the, like, huge names in 90s feminine feminism were Ms. Magazine and now the National Organization of Women. So I don't know, maybe it's a nod to feminists of the 90s. Probably not, but that's what it's going to make me think of.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

And then lastly, Ms. Now.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, thank you, Phyllis. God, that was going to make the listeners so crazy. Good memory. That was like a That's like trying to solve one of those word like picture puzzles on the inside of like a beer cap.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Uh huh. A rebus?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Is that what that's called?

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Dang, you're smart. But like, yeah, it was like, okay, Ms. Magazine and the National Organization of Women and Ms. Now. Okay, gotcha. Thank you. That's the new name for what we have been calling MSNBC for all these years now. We're calling it Ms. Now. Okay, two for two. All right, Rachel, let's hear the third one.

[Listener (Rachel)]

But I'm in the middle of this awful thing called the whole 30. And I just wanted to say that every time I sort of tell a friend that I can't eat a real lunch because I can't eat grains or dairy or sugar or legumes, I just think of Luke and his pickle and turkey slices. Experiment, diet, life improvement plan. So that's it. Thanks for helping me get through. Power out.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Power out. Dang. Legumes. They even cut you off of legumes on that whole thing.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel like everything, first of all, I'm like, you know, they say like, again, this is. We're not quite in the badlands yet, but maybe the listeners will declare this a badlands when they hear the statement I'm about to make, which is. And this is no shade on anybody. And where they're at with their relationship with substances, whether it's, you know, if they're sober or not sober. But there's this kind of. Sometimes people will say that there's. There's nobody who's, who's kind of, what's it more insistent than like the recently converted. Like somebody who's maybe recently become sober can be very like, whatever I am, I've recently become a person who doesn't. For myself anyway, I'm not. I was always doing kind of stuff like that. I was always doing what, 70 hard ish. And you know, I haven't done the whole 30, but I know about it. I was always doing some version of that. And now that I. This year I just kind of went onto a different track, which was to just. To just try to eat more food, but eat more food. That was kind of the Michael Pollan thing, which is eat food mostly plants and mostly like whole foods, mostly things that you can recognize as not being so processed. Because that's now my thing. Now I'm just like, now I'm becoming an evangelist for not depriving yourself at all times. Rachel, I'm hoping it's working for you. I hope you're getting to whatever your particular health goal might be. But also, I would just like to say that I am much happier in this version of my particular relationship with the stuff I'm eating than the days when I would be eating turkey and a pickle for lunch.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Oh, who did? Which is also very stern of you. Like, he had.

[Luke Burbank]

I know. Oh, my God.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Turkey and potato thing in the 90s.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I mean, how about his whole. I will give him credit. Let's end the show P. Where we started the show talking about Howard Stern.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Absolutely.

[Luke Burbank]

I do. I do, I guess, respect his honesty over the fact that he hates the fact that there are now these, you know, semaglutides that people can take and people are. A lot of people are experiencing a lot of weight loss on. And he. I give him credit. He is very upfront about the fact that he hates them. Because he is mad.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yep.

[Luke Burbank]

That he is a person.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

All the food he didn't eat.

[Luke Burbank]

He has been. He is a person who has maintained his weight just through sheer self denial. And he is mad that the Richard Christie's of the world and the fla. Fla. Flow highs. What did you think about that moment when they called Gary in and he just straight up admitted to being on, you know, whatever. Whatever some uglutide he's on.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Dude. I mean, so that happened before the summer break. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

And then I heard, oh, did you know what? No, no, no, no, no, you're right. I. It's so weird. I waited. I got so distracted this summer that I literally had like the last week of pre summer break programming that I never even got to.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

So I was like listening to that in like September or something.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I totally understood why he was sheepish about it, you know, and he shouldn't be like, he was doing what was right for him. And, you know, I'm glad that he felt okay about saying it when he did, but I mean, poor fa. Fa. Fo. Hi.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I know. Like, you can't.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

So much crap. And like, he's already had to have his knees replaced and stuff. And like, you know, give the guy a break.

[Luke Burbank]

Whenever Howard's bored of late. I'm talking about this week. Yeah, he just. Whenever he's bored or maybe doesn't really have anything to say, he just starts talking about how much self discipline Gary lacks, you know, and it's getting. And Gary's not even like on the. He's not even like his mic isn't even on. Yeah, it's just like they're just. They're just talking about him, like. Like, as if he's not there working on the show, about how undisciplined he is and how sad that is for him.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

And, you know, they have roasted him about that or things adjacent to that for decades now. But when you look at everyone right now, I think Fafa has the best life, and he's the happiest and most satisfied with what he's built for himself. And, like, yeah, maybe his weight has fluctuated, and, like, maybe he had to, like, you know, like, go to work and then, you know, take care of the kids. But, like, he has a great relationship with his kids now. That was something they used to roast him about, was being, like, a working dad who then had to come home and actually interact with his children. But I'm like, it was. It was all worth it. Like, he's so happy now, I think.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. I love that.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

It makes him impervious, I think, to some of these things that they try to roast him about.

[Luke Burbank]

I think he is. Yeah. After all of these years that they've all been together on that show, he is, like, he knows. He knows what, you know, sort of how the show works and what Howard's doing. What. He's doing it. And I think he's probably managed to just kind of, like, tune that out and just. Just kind of. Oh, my gosh, Phyllis. I am watching. This is really interesting. I'm watching a deer. There are two mama deers now and four baby deers in my yard, but they have different mamas. And one of the mamas was chasing out, I think, one of the deers. That doesn't belong to her. Like, not in an overly mean way, but in a, like, oh, my God. This is. I am watching a full Bambi reenactment. There are two moms and four babies, and the babies are running around, and one of the moms is chasing one of the babies, but I don't know if it's. Cause it's not her baby, and she's like, get out of here, here. Or if they're just being playful. Whatever is happening, I need to focus on that. Okay. I think I've done plenty of TBTL for one day. And you certainly have done more than enough, Phyllis, as a person who not only contributed your talents and smarts today, but again, supports the show financially, which is, I mean, beyond generous of you. And thank you. We appreciate it. Thanks for. Thanks for always making this thing a little bit better. All right. That is going to do it for today's episode. I legit do have to just focus on this deer situation.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

It's too cute.

[Luke Burbank]

It is. I'm gonna. We're gonna make it the show pick today. But it is true that the listeners have officially lost me and my attention. I'm fully in. I'm fully in deer mode. So anyway, thanks for listening, everybody. We'll be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio. Oh, hey, you know who's stopping by, Jen? Flash Andrews.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Word? Oh, I'm excited. I'm gonna. I'm gonna cue that one up immediately.

[Luke Burbank]

I want to talk to her about the Emmys. The Emmys is the kind of thing that, like, used to be big on our show, and it's no longer big, but when I saw that Nate Bargetzi did this charity bit with the boys and girls club, which involved the boys and girls club losing 60,000. I mean, not really, but, like, I figured there's one person that would have an opinion on it, and guess what? She does. So we'll talk to Flash tomorrow. In the meantime, everybody, have a great Wednesday. Take care of yourselves. Go, Mariners. And please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

And good luck to all.

[Luke Burbank]

Nailed it.

[Phyllis Fletcher]

Power out.